#but theyre kind of opposing as well

[garlic-sauc3]

I love when family members reflect another on media, when they'll say the same thing without realizing, have the same mannerisms, act the same, etc; it is so good

[diobrando]

there are at least 10 seats between me and the other person and this girl decides to sit 2 seats over from me like cmon girl move over 3 more seats wtf

[mefilas]

awful brain disease that makes me think abt keichiro and kairi

[arolesbianism]

Every now and then I remember that oni in fact will eventually have more lore added and I get so excited and scared for a moment and then I remember that it could take months until we see any of that and I proceed to forget abt it again and the cycle repeats

[the-s1lly-corner]

https://www.tumblr.com/the-s1lly-corner/749561734770114560/can-you-write-hcs-for-where-the-tadc-cast-like-to?source=share

Noo i meant, like, where the characters like to kiss their s/o on. But it's okay if you're not comfortable with it 🥹

Where they like to kiss their partner (TADC)

oooooh i see now! this is going to be a short post since it focuses on where they like to kiss- hope thats okay! I dont usually take requests for entire casts anymore, but since the segments will be shorter i'll let it slide! woo! characters: the entire main cast + gummigoo for funsies notes: reader is gn, established relationship cws: none

caine

he doesnt really have a preference of where he likes to kiss you! he kind of just peppers you all over that he can reach! he does tend to default to kissing the back of your hands as well as your cheeks! theyre the easiest to kiss without doinking you with his teeth!

pomni

likes kissing you on the cheeks as well as the mouth. she doesnt pepper you with kisses as much as caine, really just kisses you a normal amount.. once in the morning and once before bed when she gets real set and comfortable in the relationship!

ragatha

cheek kisses and forehead kisses are always her go to! theres something more tender about kissing your partner on the forehead as opposed to kissing them in the lips, at least in her opinion!

jax

thinks that kissing is gross- hes a little weird about affection and kind of has the cooties mindset, but on the occasion that he does kiss you its usually a quick peck on the cheek.. so i guess the cheek is where he likes to kiss his partner! definitely needs some time to mature and get used to it before he really shows you some affection- but even then hes not all that affectionate as a person or partner... not physically at least...

kinger

similar to caine he likes to kiss you on the back of the hands, usually taking them in his before pressing where his mouth would be to it! his second choice is on the lips, though!

zooble

not much of a kisser like jax but thats because they would prefer to hold hands or something within that ballpark. though when they do kiss you, its usually an awkward 'peck' to your cheek, they dont want to poke you with their sharp head or bash their face against yours..

gangle

despite her shy personality, kisses on the lips are common for her! cheek kisses are also pretty common as well! she doesnt kiss often, but she does lean into it just a bit when the relationship develops! she kind of becomes less shy about loving you!

gummigoo

kissing with his snout can be a little... awkward... but he likes kissing you on the cheek! in the most non sexual way, he also enjoys kissing you on the neck, especially if youre ticklish!

[corvidcall]

ive been a halfhearted dnd defender for a minute, bc i was really involved in indie ttrpg twitter for a while and I Am Not Anymore because frankly. it just got too hostile and crab bucket-y. a lot of people acting like critical role or dimension 20 were opposing them by playing a game that had widespread brand recognition (and also getting mad whenever critrole played something OTHER than dnd. i haven't forgotten how hostile everyone i knew in that scene was when critrole played monster hearts. like what do you want??) or like people who play dnd are popular jocks and people who play indie games are bullied nerds. when actually we're all nerds. nobody is cool here.

and i would especially get frustrated when people would recommend games to play instead of dnd that are not at all a comparable experience, or didnt have the same things people liked in dnd. sure, you could play Masks if you want to play a superhero game instead of just reskinning DnD, but Masks is about teens, and the fact that you're playing as teens is core to the mechanics, so it's not a good suggestion for someone who wants to play as adult superheroes. sure you can suggest someone play Blades in the Dark if they want to play a heist team, but BitD is incredibly punishing! every time ive played it, it felt almost impossible to get a full success at anything. that can be fun, if that's the kind of game you want, but if i want to play a game where i feel cool and like im good at things, then BitD is not a good replacement! I cant tell you how many times I've seen people say that you don't need to just reskin dnd when there are games that are more specifically tailored to the experience you want, and then in the same breath act like the games they're suggesting ARENT specific actually and can be used to craft any kind of experience you want. Is the genre baked into the mechanics, or isnt it? because it cant be both!

and thats not even getting into when people would suggest replacements that aren't even close. a lot of "dnd sucks nobody should ever play dnd. instead of dnd, why don't you play MY game, where youre a couple thats getting married in 2 months and you're still planning your wedding?" like... why would i play that instead of dnd, if i want to play dnd? those have nothing in common, beyond the fact that theyre both tabletop games. it's like saying "Instead of watching Star Wars, you should watch Get Out!" sure, they're both MOVIES, and Get Out is GOOD, but i think to suggest that someone who wants to watch Star Wars would have an equal if not better experience watching Get Out instead devalues both. They're not interchangeable because they're trying to do entirely different things

So I would get incredibly frustrated when people acted like people who were choosing to play DnD were just making a mistake, and that they couldn't possibly be getting anything out of playing that game specifically

ALL THAT BEING SAID wizards of the coast sucks ass and they can clean my balls. they should get put in the stocks and i should get to pelt them with tomatoes. i like playing in the sword and sorcery fantasy setting, and dnd was always my go-to game for that because Dungeon World is the worst game I've ever played (i can think of one or two other games in the same sort of setting, but i haven't tried them or met anyone willing to run them) but ah well. WotC can eat shit for this copyright bullshit

[storgicdealer]

one of my BIGGEST and important rambles on ava that questions a lot of stuff that was accepted as factual a lot of times

dimensions, rocketcorp and virtual reality in ava

initially inspired by these tags from @sticksstonessteel and the thinking about rocketcorp simulations. and a certain hc i saw on ao3 once and remembered

eventually it turned into an existential crisis. im sorry moots

warning: OKAY. so. this is very clumsily made and its an assumption made both of canon info and theories that might feel as a complete reach.

this text touches upon possibility AND obscure ideas that might not have definitive proof in canon. there might be not a direct link of events here. but it is very, VERY long and touches many different subjects at once. takes of this long ramble are bold (i could also mention strangely opposing points in the text because i re-thought many concepts along the process of this ramble and mightve not noticed it)

i was wondering about the way the technical-machine device stuff intermingles with the whole literal mercenaries (and a box used for torture) thing. but these tags made me think not only of that

what we've seen so far is that rocketcorp controls a variety of tech, both pc-like interfaces that only they have access to and more "regular" tech, like tvs on which videos from youtube can be played on. [kings backstory]. we've also seen a variety of different tech in the wanted-the box episodes, but not much of it can be used outside whatever advanced shit theyre doing inside the corporation. one of these things however can be used which is surveillance tech, it feels like an important thing to note given that the importance of the corporation might suggest that rocket is responsible for city surveillance in one way or another as well

yet how exactly does a tech corporation tie in with mercenaries, weaponry (and literal torture)?

• rocketcorp

given, again, the grand variety of tech they possess and advanced technology they use, them using literal devices that real world users/sticks from a pc would use (control panel of the box) and it being restricted to them only made me think of something. the whole story of ava/m is built inside digital realms, outernet and internet. taking that into account, obviously, any kind of technological advances in these worlds are crucial to the way of how sticks in it interact with their already technological reality. which made a tech company like rocketcorp so influental in the first place

due to a piece of rocketcorps existence in the king episode and ava s2 teaser and prior to the release of the box i had a thought that the company specializes and presents itself as a "domestic" tech company. not the kind of company that meddles with grand technology and digital stuff, but the one that is accustoming citizens of the outernet with regular tech such as the mentioned tvs. the work of the mercenaries was always perceived to me as just an underground shady work of a company. but the box and a reminder of the chosens wanted poster made me rethink and question whether rocketcorp specializes on technology that changes and affects the reality they're living in, outernet and dimensions itself

i tried to observe the possibility of it and came around to three big thoughts, the most major one being the last

first thought that can give something to this thought is that mercs tech weapons influence physical properties of their world — ultimately damaging objects and people (like it was with the corndog stand and chosen), rendering the objects out of their usual state and bringing actual pain or messing with the state of a stick.

(its also worthy to mention that in the corndog short, prior to the merc and chosen chase appearing onscreen people in the short were already running away, and it does make me wonder if it happened out of potential fear of these weapons or, maybe, potential fear of the chosen one? bringing me back to my post on thinking how chosen & dark crimes were perceived in the internet and possibly outernet)

the fact that weapons changing literal existence of an object and glitching them are available to mercenaries of rocketcorp is a pretty big thing

another potential argument for it is about the memory scanner itself — a thing used for intrusion into a literal brain (code?) of a person. the obvious thing aside – the scanner literally looks like a vr helmet and i initially thought that it was its function before i saw what it was used for

the whole fact that this kind of advanced technology exists, honestly, surpassing the already existing level of technology in stickcity is something that could potentially connect victim and rocketcorp respectively to an ability to meddle with a literal living being, their memory and potentially their code. victim, aware and knowing the process of being directly created from someone's hand might've acquired the knowledge of influencing a stick's literal process of living over the course of all the years. which brings me to my major point:

• dimensions

we all know about the fact that initial pc programs are able to be used in the outernet, which by itself is an interesting discussion of internet and outernet intertwining once again. we know that rocketcorp and pc sticks use interfaces that real world users use. and we know about the existence of the adobe tool board that agent uses literally all their screentime and the adobeflash instruments in victims office. it wasnt a surprising thing to see given that we have mostly explored the way of how pc and internet programs work throughout the series, and it was thought about that well! nothing surprising about these tools being in the outernet as well, mustve acquired it from somewhere! (and honestly, given all the new insane character plot i didnt think about that deeply either)

over the course of events happening in the outernet we have never really seen pc apps used there physically prior to season 2, except for one time of alan's cursor being used there... that required an insane amount of coding and manifestation of the cursor in the outernet space that couldnt be achieved without a stick that is familiar with with a pc.

not only talking about yellows feats, the creation of darks portals is something worth mentioning as well. we know that he is extremely skilled in coding, with it most likely being his main activity (aside from terrorism) in his life in the outernet. no sticks that we've seen created something like literal dimensional portals, like dark did — and he is a stick that is accustomed to the pc and internet as well. and oh, orange. bringing their stylus to outernet and have it revoked almost immediately when caught (which is not surprising at all anymore, that the mercs and rocket workers took an immediate interest in it given canon information and all these theories lol)

and, unsurprisingly, purple, king and the unknown merchant in "the king" episode as well. we know that the minecraft icon could be accessed through a travel to a pc, and that purple was first introduced literally inside of a mac — and the whole bit of purple coming to alanspc trying to steal the icon that the cg had.

(another thought to mention is about the interdimensional travel — the whole fact that the internet and the pc realm is able to be accessed through programs brought to the outernet. (e.g. minecraft portals). but again, these programs were initially coming from a pc, and didnt exist in the outernet. where the actual hell did the blue merchant in the king episode come from????)

this whole fact shows that the only way to access pc programs in the outernet is for something or someone to bring it there.

and victim, posessing all the tools of the whole program he was created in, wouldnt be able to get it through regular means. whether that means acquiring it from someone's elses hands or going to a pc by themselves.

• virtual reality and the position of rocketcorp in outernet

now, im going to bring up outernet and internet intertwining again. outernet sticks do not interact with pc programs physically, like all avam main characters do.

the only times we've seen pc programs and apps physically interact with outernet were shenanigans with the cg, hollowheads, purple & king. people that actually had access to a pc in one way or another.

(..and the damn merchant.)

the fact that these programs existence is quite rare in outernet and maybe even unknown to some, having rocketcorp being a full-on restricted company with classified information, having high influence over tech, exchange of pc programs being seen as a shady activity(!!!!) (the king episode),

— could rocketcorp be somewhat of a main corporate that controls the fabric of the outernet and internet itself, being some sort of a power force and government-ish corporation to the outernet? perhaps, them being seen as officials that have limited knowledge of unaccessible pc programs and internet itself and exclusive (even divine?) power of it that only they are able to possess, providing it to the outernet, initially making them "the people in power" that stand higher than regular sticks of the outernet?

(essentialy, making victim a literal fucking dimension mastermind)

• important part about outernet sticks (that ill probably ramble about in an another post independently)

supposing that rocketcorp does possess power... would they have control over what they decide to stream and show with their tech?

the tv that we've seen in the king episode didnt show any other episode except for the minecraft one. heck, it could've been the only thing shown there.

and in general, it begs the question: are outernet sticks that never traveled beyond its space even aware of internet?

and could've they interpreted the episode above as just fiction, along with the confirmation that our main characters are the ones that are inherently tied with the pcs and the internet in different ways?

(PLEASE tell me if there's proof that confirms otherwise because its a very bold statement given how much outernet and internet are interlinked in the main story. its 2 am i havent slept sometimes i have amnesia and i might be forgetting something very crucial. this assumption was not fully comprehended by me before specifically because most outernet sticks are the same type with the cg and it was confusing when i was just getting back to avam a few years ago)

we also know about the box itself. or, to be more accurate, the boxes. the ones that both chosen and second were trapped in, at the same time, in different places. the ones that were, quite literally, simulations. the ones that have also used pc programs tools.

simulation isnt something that was seen as an ordinary occurence, but it was literally seen twice in the rocketcorp in the same episode. creation of a simulation doesnt seem like an activity that could be used by ordinary sticks either. giving potential highest influence of rocketcorp over pc and internet technologies and its providence, are they able to give simulation experience to others, allowing regular sticks to experience different dimensions in a controlled way? say, for example, in a game?

whoa finally i got it out of my brain. im going to drop family guy pose style

afterthought rollercoaster:

• as far as i remember we didnt see outernet citizens interact with internet like users do, but we do know they possess tech such as television again, that can be bought. there IS tech such as computers (tdls room) but we havent seen them being used by sticks that werent exposed to the concept of the pc and the internet. there is a possibility i missed out on outernet sticks using phones or other tech, but even with this, its possible that our internet is simply not accesible there

• given the possibility of rocketcorp delegating all technology and simulations, providing it to others, possibly allowing smaller companies to use their resources in different cities... is there a possibility that rocketcorp might've been responsible for the gold simulation incident?

• going back to weapons of the mercs, i do wonder whether, even with the pc apps ability to be used in the outernet, the apps themselves having any kind of influence over processes in the outernet — given the whole glitching thing that literally messes with physical objects and people. it is just my own theory, but i dont believe that the glitch thing that is embedded in these weapons comes from the outernet, either

• okay this is going to be a wild concept you dont have to read it

talking about the creation of outernet and the whole race of stickmen, right now i am tending to believe that outernet is still an extension of internet that might've appeared with its creation. i was always open to accepting it but slightly confused by the concept of outernet being natural (bc i constantly try to find logic in worldbuilding el oh el) and tried to suggest a theory that sticks of outernet might've also been created directly (which does feel like a reach atp). with the concepts i discussed in this ramble i dont really feel that confusion, but im honestly not abandoning the idea of creation at some point, either: specifically i had a thought that when outernet first appeared first sticks of that dimension were also created, potentially them finding a way into outernet in some way. but eventually outernet was built as an independent place for their kind and prospered by itself like any civilization would

oh my god im going to drop with exhaustion. but im so happy i got it out

self portrait of my sticksona right now

[lemmetreatya]

laundromat technician!levi whos so confused on the complaints about the individual who’s using the laundromat ‘incorrectly’.

because laundromat technician!levi doesn’t think he sees anyone using it wrong. yes, you have the usual boisterous kids who run around their mother’s legs and the occasional young adults who make their ‘unique’ indie music videos and who he looks on at with a rugged glare, but laundromat technician!levi doesnt think theyre doing anything wrong.

thats until laundromat technician!levi decides to do one of his maintenance checks on a lazy sunday afternoon — the kind which he usually does at nights — but today he’s had a change of mind for. which he comes to slightly regret because even though it’s just you in the establishment, you fill the atmosphere and dont make it easy for him to do his job.

like okay, you obnoxiously smack your strawberry bubblegum and laugh loudly at the videos you watch on your phone — but you’re in a laundromat for goodness sake! those things dont really matter.

but it’s when laundromat technician!levi catches you sitting atop the edge of the washing machine, a look of pure giddy bliss melting on your face, that he feels an unholy wrath consume his inner man.

“you dirty fucking bitch.” laundromat technician!levi throws his oiled rag to the ground before rounding the corner to stand in front of you. and you’re so outlandish, so unbothered by his presence because when he’s in front of you, you only lopsidedly smile down at him. so secure in the knowledge that you know he can’t move or touch you

“oops!” you wispily say before letting out a sweet moan, and laundromat technician!levi doesn’t know why he’s not ignoring you or at least removing himself from the scene because he even has a reddish embarrassment tint over his face. this situation is clearly uncomfortable for him. but alas, laundromat technician!levi instead decides to entertain you.

“surely that isnt doing anything for you. like for crying out loud, at least use better means as opposed to rusty laundromat machines.”

you give a provoking hum, your hands positioned between your spread open legs as you use them to support your rut against the hyper machine — no concern for laundromat technician!levi‘s head being directly in front of the show.

“what, you think you can provide anything better?”

laundromat technician!levi narrows his eyes at you.

“are you testing me?”

“no, i’m daring you.”

its not like you would have known any better, but you were not in the know about how laundromat technician!levi loved a challenge, and lived for any grab at one.

easily, laundromat technician!levi has you in a mating press along the plaque of the bench, his face viciously jeering over you as you cry and whine under the scrutiny of his welling cock.

and laundromat technician!levi jogs your body with his dick better than any other washing machine could. he pistons into you so fervently that your cries are sobby — your mouth opened so wide that you accidentally swallow and choke on your gum!

“yeah, yeah that’s what you fucking deserve!”

and this might prove him a bit mad, but laundromat technician!levi quickly bends forwards to capture your sopping cough ups into his own mouth. he was suddenly uncaring of the torment you briefly go through, his cock not backing down from delivering its judgments to your inner walls. but when you finally cough up the gum you were choking on, laundromat technician!levi is in the right position to catch it in his own mouth — no intention of spitting it out.

and to think he had the audacity to call you the dirty bitch.

soon after he’s done with you, laundromat technician!levi ends up banning you from the laundromat. he doesn’t even let you dry your clothes, he just makes sure you’re out with your stuff before anyone happens to walk in.

but even though he’s made that so very serious decree, laundromat technician!levi doubts you’ll be gone long. he’s not sure how he knows, but he’s pretty sure you’ll be back with the excuse of retrieving your pack of sweet strawberry bubblegum.

[prof-peach]

What's a happy adoption story that's occurred on the island? Conversely, what's one of the worst adoption attempts seen?

All adoption stories have a lot of joy in them for us at Dotaku, but I suppose one or two stand out.

We had a seemingly lost and quite old Mawile handed in to us, clear care put into their lifestyle, it's teeth were in good condition for its age, it had no illness, clear and soft skin, creeping joint aches but it was to be expected for the pokemon age, but it had no pokeball, so no trainer ID to return them to.

We expected someone to come for it, we even put out posters on the mainland to help find its trainer, but no one came forward. We eventually posed the topic of rehoming to the pokemon and it firmly refused, we did not bring it up again. This pokemon would sit every time people came off the boats at the dock as if waiting for someone, and each time would walk away dissapointed.

Five years passed, it had never given us trouble, was well behaved and kind in nature, even partook in plnety of island events with time, became one of the permanent fixtures here.

And then out of the blue, an old woman turned up with her grandson, visitors. We were made aware of the dimensia she was living with just in case she wandered off, and catered to it no problem. Staff report that she walked around without issue, enjoyed the grounds just line anyone else, until that is, she spotted this one Mawile, and the pokemon saw her, the two had a moment of recognition.

Theyre both in tears as soon as they reach eachother, the Mawile ran for this woman, we didnt know if it was hostile or not at first, but nope, there as a big hug shared and progressive tears. The grandson filled us in that his grandma use to have a partner but came from a village that just lived with pokemon, no balls, no fancy items, just a mutual choosing. But the Mawile had been stolen by a young trainer passing through years ago, with no pokeballs to stop the capture process, the boy assumed someone caught the pokemon and left with it, seperating the pair. It was kind of the one thing his Grandma would always look for in her later years, forgetting that she'd lost her beloved partner, becoming increasingly worried repeatedly as her illness worsened over the years. It caused a lot of grief.

we can only assume the pokemon got free or released, and was handed in to the island as a "difficult case" due to its reluctance to listen to others.

The woman went home with her pokemon, reunited after 5 long years apart, it brought a tear to plenty of the staff's eyes thats for sure.

On the opposing end we've had plenty of shady folk come in and try to adopt from us, but theres a few measures we put in place when were suspicious. I dont discuss the security precautions we apply in these cases to hide the pricess and keep the pokemon and staff safe here.

Despite this, one or two slip the net on rare occasion, it happens, were not perfect. One that stays with me was a woman who came in to look for a partner, making all the best attempts to charm a quite fantastic little Treeko, a rare variant with fantastic leopard markings. She was forthright and seemed ordinary, we went through our regular security checks and nothing came up on her ID, figured it was a fine match. So she went through the process of adopting, staff saw no red flags. I kick myself now, if i'd been around her with Val we could have stopped this, but i'd been too busy with other jobs to oversee that particular case.

She leaves with the pokemon, and we're none the wiser, but anyone who knows us, knows we do home visits after adoption to make sure a pokemon is happy and well. usually 3 within the year. Some of our staff turn up to an abandoned building, no pokemon, no people, nothing. The hunt began, Grey was quick to try to see if the pokemons ID had been pinged at any pokecentres, but nothing came up. We kept looking, and called in some favours at the local ranger bases and police stations to watch.

Eventually someone spots the woman in question, two regions over in Hoenn, selling eggs. She got pulled over for trafic violations while driving and got flagged. I went over personally to see what was going on, and turns out she was illegally breeding rare species to sell for huge money. The treeko was in BAD condition by this point, we took it back along with two dozen or so eggs, another Sceptile, and a pair of shroomish with unsual patterns that were on their last legs. She was taken to court for cruelty charges and served time.

The pokemon however were fine in the end, took some time to rehabilitate them, but they still hang around the island, that experience was traumatic for them so they choose to stay with us for saftey sake. We have no issues with this, and have since tightened our security checks. The womans trainer ID was a fake, a really convincing one, we messed up. It's cases like that that'll push us to all do better however, we learned a lot, and hold onto those failures to push forward in a better way.

Just glad the pokemon survived and are now healthy and happy.

[transgenderer]

i feel like it's telling that most of the defenses of israel (in american discourse, at any rate) come down to special pleading and rhetorical slight-of-hand. "you know who else opposes israel? anti-semites" "well the USSR also called it an apartheid state, are you really going to spout commie propaganda?" "why are you protesting israel and not these other human rights-abusing countries" etc. like its defenders know on some level its conduct is manifestly indefensible

yeah i mean. i think on some level these are pretty explicitly....welll i want to say "disingenuous" but i will instead say "trying to convince someone with a different value sytem". like i think a lot of zionists are just genuinely nationliasts (i mean, a ton of normies are genuinely nationalists but its more noticeable here). and from the genuine-ideological-nationalist perspective israels behavior is fine. the continued existence of palestine is much more of a threat to the israeli nation than it is actual israeli people (i mean, its a little bit of a threat to israeli people. but not much). but theyre kind of aware that the people they see as bleeding hearts about this arent nationalists, so they try to "translate" their arguments over and it doesnt really make sense

[eirian]

yall ready for a gender journey post..

so yall could probably guess i grew up a cis girl. i didnt start questioning my gender until high school after i broke up with my first boyfriend which kind of freed me up to explore my identity as my own person for the first time. around age like 16 was when i first started identifying as trans, and at the time that meant a binary trans guy

after a couple years of getting comfortable exploring my gender i decided hey maybe im actually not a binary trans guy but instead nonbinary. still transmasc and guy leaning but not quite all the way anymore. this became a trend for the next loooong while, getting closer to the androgynous part of the spectrum as time went on

then in recent years (maybe about 5 years ago ish) i started to lean more towards femininity. this is significant for me because growing up i was always opposed to it--i hated wearing dresses, i hated putting on makeup, anything "girly" appalled me and i didnt know why. i ended up thinking its because i WASNT a girl, and thats why i was so uncomfortable with everything to do with being a girl. i rejected it so hard because it just wasnt me.

after living with eden for a while i got even more comfortable exploring the feminine part of myself. i started wearing dresses and skirts and actually ENJOYED it; i started painting my nails and wearing earrings again; i even grew my hair out to my shoulderblades (yeah thats where its at now LOL). ive even started using she/her alongside they/them. and im actually enjoying these things??? it feels like after all these years im finally able to reclaim them because i feel like im finally able to be comfortable with my gender--how my gender feels to ME, not to everyone else.

that was the problem when i was growing up--i was trapped in everyone else's perception of my gender and what it "should" be. i was trapped into a box that was made by everyone else's idea of what i SHOULD look like, what i SHOULD wear, what i SHOULD act like, etc. and it took me until age 26 to fully realize that my gender is what i want it to be, not what everyone else wants.

i dont have to be a guy to want facial hair and a flat chest and a low voice. loving pink and dresses and cute things and makeup and jewelry doesnt inherently mean im a girl. pronouns, features, clothes, even names dont inherently mean youre one gender or another. your gender is defined by you and only you and nobody should be able to put you into a box and define your gender for you.

..having said all this, im starting to explore my gender further, and im slowly coming to the POSSIBLE conclusion that i might come back around to being cis (albeit gnc). nothing would really change about me except the label tbh. if i do end up coming to that conclusion i will be very bummed about leaving the trans community, but i wont feel any less attached to it, as ive spent literally half my life as part of it. i understand what its like to be trans and to love myself as my most authentic self, and thats why im considering this possiblity!

identifying as a lesbian kind of pushed me in this direction as well--i cant remember the last time i felt truly comfortable and happy with a label regarding my orientation.. like ya damn. maybe i am a girl who likes girls LOL. it just feels right and natural for me personally??? its crazy. i love women. if youre a woman i love you no matter the flavor. i love my wife more than all of you though sorry <3

but god please dont take this as me being like "oh trans people just need to get comfortable with their gender and theyll realize theyre cis" that is a bullshit take and i am not saying that. this is strictly my own experience and journey! i am 100% not speaking for every trans person and you shouldnt either.

but ya. dan cis era???? we'll see. no official statement just yet but i just wanted to let yall know where im at in my ~gender journey~. until i confirm anything please still view me as a nonbinary girlthing! <3

[dhmis-autism]

My headcannon is that Duck has been in a state of awareness throughout the series much like Yellow was in Electricity, the visual tell for this bring their big ass eyes. Yellow's enlarged sclera is obvious because his eyes are radiation green. Duck's eyes are brown so they just look like slightly bigger black dots than the others. What I'm getting at is Duck has some awareness. He's just naturally deranged.

HAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD! okay! from MY POV, the idea of Duck having any awareness about their situation at all is so fucked up.

The pupil thing could be a good way to hide it, and totally a route I could see BB&J (becky,baker and joe) taking, realistically. He also does just have MASSIVE pupils.

Anyways, the reason that ideas super duper fucked up to me is because um… well one of Ducks main motivators in like EVERY episode is just keeping the three of them together. Even in eps like Jobs or Family where they're separated, he spends all his energy and spare thoughts on the other two (where are they, what are they doing, who are they talking to, ect). Now I assumed this was because their little trio-ship is the ONLY thing in that house that matters to him or that he even remotely cares about.

But sure, let's get meta with it and say for the sake of argument that Duck has been FULLY aware of the fact that they're in a forever looping TV show and that theyre puppets.

That makes some lines like "That's not allowed (in reference to going outside of the house)!" and "People are dying to know what your final guess would have been." a lot more … explainable I guess? But it also makes his weird dedication to keeping the three of them together undeniably sinister (e.g is he doing this bc he knows who Lesley is or something?? Is he doing this bc he's aware theres nothing for them OUTSIDE of this house??). It means it's not that he tries to keep them together BECAUSE he cares about them, he tries to keep them together for the sake of the keeping the SHOW GOING.

It also means he is WELL AWARE that the other two are miserable in that house and just DOES NOT CARE, because he thinks the three of them being together is better than the alternative. It also would kind of paint the "I like looking at you too" scene in a bit of a different light,no? For all we know, he could be referring to Red (the puppet) as opposed to Red (the character).

I don't even think him being aware would make him… deranged, I think it would literally just make him ACTUALLY irredeemable. Which I'm fine with! Best boy either way! A character doesn't have to be morally sound for me to like this, just interesting. But like. think about the implications of what you're saying here.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Ive been thinking about a retcon-esque thing that I havent seen a lot of people talk about, and its that in ACOTAR rhysand talks to Feyre about how hes doing all this stuff for his court and to me it seemed like he actually cared for yknow, his whole court and not just one city. And it drives me insane because I would actually be so much more willing to see Rhys as a pragmatist and morally gray as opposed to stupid and evil if that was the case. Like, imagine instead of the canon bullshit with the court of nightmares and velaris, its basically just a normal court that treats all its citizens equally well but they enforce their borders really strongly so no one can get in without permission, and when someone does come over for political reasons or something they get a couple of people to do the whole CoN stick, or maybe its literally just the representatives of the NC (Rhysand, Kier, Mor, whoever is in charge of the illyrians) acting cruel and then letting the rumor mill run wild. That obviously still has its own ethical issues when you consider the fact that the night court is part of a larger country and theyre effectively cutting themselves and their own citizens off from it, but they are the kind of ethical issues I would accept from a character thats supposed to be morally gray

[flamemons]

How do you think Digimon Frontier might have gone if the Spirits of Steel, Wood, and Earth had been bequeathed to Ophanimon, the Spirits of Darkness and Water had been bequeathed to Seraphimon, the Spirits of Flame, Light, Ice, Wind, and Thunder had been bequeathed to Cherubimon, and the protagonists had been Katsuharu, Teppei, Chiaki, Teruo, and Koichi (with Kouji joining later)?

im just gonna ramble whatever comes to mind lmao. i drew some stuff too!

uuh while i find it hard to care too much about those other kids because well, I don't know much about them, it is really fun thinking about how kouichi would act if he was there from the start. I think he'd be serious, in a similar way to Kouji, bc he's there on a mission, y'know! All he remembers is following his brother around until Kouji gets some weird text message (wait,,, does kouichi have a phone? probably not, huh. poor people gang ftw...) and now hes in this fuckin place! (hes a dead soul in this au too.) I'd imagine he'd be just as driven as Kouji was, if not more so, bc he KNOWS koujis gotta be here somewhere....but instead of initially trying to avoid the other kids (koujis strategy), he'd probably stick around as soon as he realizes that theyre gonna get themselves killed if they keep acting stupid. So, instead of trying to ditch the kids or act distant, he'd nag them and rush them to stay on track, and come off as kind of a bossy stick-in-the-mud at first

Side note, its easy to think of kouji as being a lot more serious and mature compared to the rest of the frontier kids, but honestly, I have to wonder if he wouldve acted differently if ophanimon wasnt calling him all the damn time telling him that he has to find answers! hes gotta get stronger! theres something he Has To Know!!! like damn if ophanimon was that specific with the other kids they'd also probably be just as sullen. anyway, kouichi would be feeling the same kind of pressure.

in an attempt to make it more interesting for me, chiaki and teruo are now siblings. or close cousins. or something. (what if they were fraternal twins?? that would be so funny actually. there is a statistically improbable amount of twins here!) AND bc i like chiaki the most i think she'd make a cool leader of sorts! like, the lancer to kouichi. kouichi ends up accidentally being the leader bc hes so driven, and chiakis like, a genuinely nice person who really wants to help the digital world as soon as she steps off the first trailmon onto the flame terminal. she also doesnt take shit from anyone. maybe she was a quiet wallflower-type kid at school, but, if its for another's sake, then she'll always speak up! so now, in the digital world, she cant stay quiet!

ah i love just making shit up. this is fun

so together, they make the most chillest leader/lancer duo ever. (hey, if they WERE to be the two Main Ones, wouldnt it be cool if their Susanoomon-type evolution was deep-sea themed? mix darkness and water together, and you get The Fucking Abyss. it could be bioluminescent! a cool way to turn "light into darkness!")

btw, im not drawing any spirit forms here bc I think these kids would have alternative spirit forms as opposed to the evil ones in the show. like, heroic looking ones (basically, no child deserves to have to spirit evolve into grottomon) BUT im no good at character design and that sounds like a lotta work. also, the other spirits (fairymon, chakkmon, agnimon, etc,) would need evil forms too then, right?? that sounds like a REALLY hard thing to try drawing, so nah. just imagine these kids spirit evolving and fighting offscreen. speaking of the other spirits though,

i want chakkmon/tomoki to try pummeling the shit out of katsuharu and teppei!! karmas a bitch!! tomoki didnt get to have his character development in this AU, bc he (probably) fell off the trailmon train tracks and got Got by cherubimon!

i like the main frontier kids too much to not include them in everything i draw Ever, so imagine that maybe they all came to the digital world alone, and wandered around until they found their respective spirits (in similar circumstances to the show) but since those spirits belongto cherubimon, theyre possessed/convinced to fight on cherubimons side!! like "oh shit i have no friends and i hate my life, yea this big evil bunny has a point lets go fuck shit up". maybe some of them are fully in control of their actions, maybe some arent. maybe some of them remember that theyre human, but maybe some of them dont....?

lastly, i have to apologize bc i got completely sidetracked bc i thought "oh takuya and kouji would be very funny as team rocket-esque villains" so heres flamon and strabimon but Evil™

i like to imagine that theyre the Most Incompetent of cherubimons Evil Guys but theyre the only two (that cherubimon knows of) that can form susanoomon so THATS why hes trying to collect all the spirits. bc of that, they DEFINITELY dont remember that theyre human. (bc of that, they also kind of dont have anything to care about, so theyre just trying to have fun)

it would be fun if they were initially kind of lame but although they may be idiots, theyre not Dumb, so they slowly become competent at the same rate as the Heroes do, and instead of a sephirothmon arc theres like.......a beowolfmon and aldamon arc??? im not a writer i dont know. watch these five kids (and counting!) get slowly hunted by two fucking Beasts in the darkest forest ever.

or maybe they do Actually manage to collect all the spirits but it goes so horribly wrong and now theres like ten goddamn kids and ten spirits mashed up in the psyche of a very unstable susanoomon and its just some fucked up Twisted psychological nightmare. digimon evangelion.

basically in this AU, there is even MORE wild tone shifts and the plot goes Absolutely Fucking Bonkers. and takuya's cosplaying Jotaro Kujo for some fucking unknown reason.

thank you for asking! this was....probably not what you were going for, but c'est la vie

[rvb-is-gay]

Final Thoughts on RVB Restoration

(note that i did not bother with proper punctuation here and additional thoughts may be added later)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT:

wow. i have A LOT to say about this

first, lets start with the things i really liked about this finale:

red team fight scenes. simmons and grif fighting the meta was so good, especially simmons being SO BADASS. simmons stans were fed well. i always love seeing the reds and blues fighting, even if theyre not good, as opposed to freelancers fighting

caboose did a lot and i think had some solid development (as much as he could get in only an hour and 25 mins, at least) and it seems like they made him less dumb?? which is fine with me, it almost seemed like he matured. i also kinda liked seeing caboose being thrown around and beaten up cause it HURT ME SO MUCH but i love being hurt (i love caboose this isnt meant to be an insult to him). it was also just so surreal seeing caboose actually being hurt in an animation because he always managed to avoid major beatings like that before. him and tucker having a brief moment together was soul crushing and i wish we couldve had more of that

tucker being influenced by the meta has been a thing since the s13 finale and seeing it actually happen was really cool

tex being brought back was kind of a meh thing for me. i think everything tex related shouldve just been left in s10 because that season really wrapped it all up nicely. i did enjoy having her back, though, just for the sake of her as a character cuz i love her. and her and church together was so fucking cute and heartbreaking

sarge dying to save caboose was obviously fucking SADDENING but also sweet in a way cause i love caboose being the honorary red member. he loves his blue son

again, simmons being a badass was so fucking good

the grimmons scene with grif saying "come with me" was romantic as hell 😭😭😭

churchs gay little pose

chex scene with tex holding churchs hand was so gjfHDJSAFKGHSDJFSDFKAS GODDDDD THIS M/F SHIP HAS ME IN A CHOKEHOLD

now, the things i DIDNT like:

really unfortunate that the movie/season was only 1 hr 25 mins. it really limited what they could do with the plot and characters, but i understand if it wasnt possible for RT to do more due to warner bros for example

churchs whole youtube video thing was kinda funny but also dragged on for too long and was the perfect example of "show dont tell" NOT being implemented

a lot of stuff felt ooc, like how the reds didnt wanna help caboose at all. the beginning with epsilon showing up was understandable with how they didnt want to get involved, but later on the ship they just leave caboose to be choked out by the meta? THAT part didnt feel like the reds at all. grif also for some reason was so fucking mad and yelling a lot? idk where all that came from? it was so random like grif chill dude 😭

wash just being stuck in a mental hospital for something we dont even find out about until the end, which in a story sense isnt inherently bad obviously and can really add to the narrative, but in this case it just felt so confusing and like it didnt make sense. why would carolina and the reds and blues just let that happen to wash? not to say that getting help with mental health is bad or anything, just what i mean is they dont seem to care that hes gone or anything and dont visit him and hes treated like hes crazy the whole time hes in the hospital

479er being alive was really awesome, but it came out of nowhere (i understand that this is also probably due to the runtime restraint)

WHERE THE HELL WERE DONUT AND LOPEZ THE WHOLE TIME???? lopez showed up once and donut was in a 5 second thought bubble from simmons? the FINAL season of rvb and they dont even have the full crew of characters fighting together one last time? nobody talked about them at all? come on guys

the beginning with the convention was just really unnecessary and boring

why does nobody seem to care that TUCKER IS MISSING WITH MAINES ARMOR?? it feels like everyone just got brainwashed to forget about all the years they spent being friends

what was the deal with the covid jokes 💀

sarge wouldve never let himself die to a blue

doc just dies offscreen and its only vaguely mentioned at the very end and just happened out of nowhere, almost as an excuse for wash to not be present during everything with the meta?

where the hell has carolina been? she was never mentioned once until she showed up at the end

why why WHY did GRIF LEAVE??? i know season 15 was retconned, but the fact that he CARES ABOUT HIS FRIENDS and doesnt actually want to leave them unlike what he says shouldnt have just been forgotten about. AND SIMMONS JUST DOESNT WANNA GO TO EARTH TO VISIT? HELLO THIS IS NOT THE SAME GRIF AND SIMMONS WE'VE BEEN WITH ALL THESE YEARS. wheres that tweet saying "found family separating after the journey is bs" cause thats how i feel about that. 21 years spent building up these amazing relationships between these amazing characters just for them to seemingly not give a shit about each other?? is simmons just alone in blood gulch with tucker and caboose now?? 💀💀💀

i understand because he was the meta, tucker didnt have control, but it was still unfortunate to barely have any tucker this season

i understand that the meta was a threat to everybodys lives, but it feels like everyone was just ok with killing tucker to be able to kill the meta. it wouldve been so much better and angstier if they were having difficulties with it because thats their friend

why did one have to show up. i dont really have anything personal against her as a character or anything but i wouldve really preferred any and all things related to zero to just be wiped off the face of the planet

the music was just terrible. really unfortunate they wouldnt have trocadero return :( it felt so unnerving having this weird stock music playing whenever people were just standing and talking. throughout all of rvb, 99% of the standing talking scenes never had any music so this was so bizarre

some animated scenes looked really off, idk if it was just me

one personal gripe i have that doesnt actually really matter that much to the overall season, but it really bothered me, is that that IS NOT HOW THE BUBBLE SHIELD WORKS!!! i think technically we've never actually seen the bubble shield be entered or exited on screen so i guess you could argue that it works differently from how they work in halo? idk still bothered me

this season in general just felt like an AU?? even 15 through 17 felt more real as seasons of rvb than this did, and i HATED season 16, so thats saying something

and of course, grimmons. big congrats to RT for the longest queerbaited couple in i think tv show history. this one really pisses me off the most because just. how. theres a difference between a queer ship existing because people like it, and a queer ship existing because there was actual subtext and clues and their relationship is written so perfectly and its been around for so long that so many queer people came to really love and identify with it in spite of how shitty they were treated. idc, grimmons is canon in all of our hearts, fuck that

a great point from mod janae: the whole point of rvb, which aiden price even talks about, is that they come together as friends/family and even though they individually suck, together they can do anything, and a better ending wouldve been not to bring back tex carolina or even wash but to have gotten all the reds and blues back together to stop the meta. it was never about being the strongest but about working together

in general, i did not like the season. it had a few things i liked, but obviously the cons outweigh the pros here and so overall, i hated it. i mightve hated it even more than season 16 which is insane because ill fight tooth and nail for why season 16 is such a catastrophe. really disappointing that this is how rvb ends. i wouldve much preferred a cheesy "friendship defeats the bad guy and saves the day" ending because that IS what rvb is to a degree. anyways i understand how GOT fans feel now

[sothischickshe]

I was tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks (ty! 💛💛💛) to answer 20 questions for writers:

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

21!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

278,245

3. What fandoms do you write for?

The only fandom I've ever published fic for is good girls

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Bringing down the neighbourhood

waiting for someone who needs me🧞

What a sight to see🧛🏻

(a) time to kill

yourself and others

I'm not sure the middle 3 would def be there were it not for the anon kudos bombing but w/e it's nice having some single chapter fics in the top 5 🤘

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! 🥺🥺🥺

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A time to refrain (from embracing) methinks!

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Both installments of the Are you afraid or is it true series are pretty fluffy. Maybe the second part (Through the park and by the tree) wins out? 🤔

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not generally. There was someone in the gg fandom leaving mean bookmark notes tho 🙄🗑️

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. What are the kinds? 👀

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't, and I don't imagine I would?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, not that I'm aware of. It could be interesting to see how it would go!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes actually, as kids me and a friend co-wrote a tortall 'verse crackfic.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Ooof. Maybe spuffy? That met me at a very formative time of my life, and I didn't expect it to become so canon (as opposed to like under a spell etc) and I think that experience really reshaped my brain 🤯🤯🤯 but fundamentally faves questions are immoral thus this is a very rude question.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I hope I'll finish all of them, and do intend to! I'm not sure I'll ever write the hilarious abortion fic tho.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Mm, a love of language/interesting prose. A love of brevity/somewhat chiselled sentences. A love of editing/willingness to improve. Interesting stories. Dialogue, tho brio get little bc theyre annoying. Characterisation!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well I violently dislike plot. I don't feel super strong on creating original characters. I'm slow! I'd rather let things be confusing than beat readers over the head with info, which I think can be detrimental. I wouldnt say my descriptions are super strong, though I think they've improved a lil. Sometimes there's too much internal monologue at a go which breaks up the pacing of an eg dialogue scene (though again think that's improved somewhat). My love of planning and love of pantsing are at constant war lol, I get grumpiest abt stuff not having been established earlier and thus needing to state things which couldve been well demonstrated. Blocking, sometimes. I love short stories and oneshots but I'm apparently prone to writing long fics & continuing things into series which I consider a real weakness, lol.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I'm not against it in principle, I've read a lot of books which contain a lot of eg French or Spanish (often untranslated). We've got access to Google translate or w/e right? I do appreciate it when translations are provided bc lazy (and I think Ao3 does poss let you do hyperlinked superscript?). I feel the same way abt it in fic as in other media I think -- if you're happy for it to be a bonus to those that understand and everyone else needs to work to figure it out, I concur. If you think it needs to be understood, then providing translations (even if just as notes @ the end) makes sense.

But I also think pls don't write it via Google translate... If u don't speak the language/don't have someone who can help u translate it, don't write dodgy shite Spanish or w/e 🙈 not everything needs to be literal dialogue u can just say 'he explained to his grandmother abt the change in plans' or w/e I swear

...o wait I'm guessing the q meant me as a writer not reader 🤦 I don't think I've done much of it? Altho I do always seem to imply that every character speaks French, a language I don't really speak so who the hell knows 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Published for: good girls. Wrote for hmmm I guess tortall books maybe? 🧓🤷🏼‍♀️

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Ooof, immoral question! Let's say upon your ignorance (and the gray despair) of your ugly life tho bc every time I remember I wrote a fic where rio & Dean swap bodies I giggle 😂 there's so much abt this fic which is very funny to specifically me teehee

Tagging🔖🔖🔖🔖🔖: @hereliesbb @nakedmonkey @nottonyharrison @inyoursheets @bensonstablers @blizabrth @delicatelingon & U right in the middle of your forehead if u wanna play 😚🎯