do you ever think about how darcy's perspective of the visit to rosings is just... a completely wild time.
so like. he and his favourite cousin goes to visit with his weird aunt, and ends up running into this hot girl, that he's really kinda increasingly into? she's staying in the area for a while with her bestie.
so like. he was expecting a boring social obligation visit & getting pressure into marrying his other, less favourite cousin.
instead, he watches the hot girl hold her own with his aunt in conversation. she banters with him over the pianoforte and they have a Moment™. he keeps going over to the house she's staying at, just to awkwardly chill there, even though he doesn't like the other people there. has a whole conversation with her about how she wouldn't mind living far away from family, as long as she could afford the travel. he extends his visit so he can keep seeing her.
when he runs into her on a walk, she makes a point of detailing the exact route she prefers to take while out walking, clearly encouraging him to join her, so he does. he has a really nice time on these walks, they spend a lot of time in companionable silence, but he manages to flirt a little by implying some stuff about the future & what their married life could be like, and they have some conversations about that.
and sure, she has some family baggage, but none of them are around so it's a lot easier to ignore, y'know?
so eventually he just can't take it anymore, and he shoots his shot. she clearly values honesty so he explains his scruples as well, but he thinks she's been dropping some favourable signals, so he's got a good chance, right?
and then not only she turns him down she ROASTS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM. she insults him. she insults his honour as a gentleman. she flips the fuck out about... oh yeah crap the sister thing, turns out his cousin blabbed, and then I'M SORRY YOU SAID WHAT? ABOUT WICKHAM? THIS IS ABOUT FUCKING WICKHAM, MY FUCKING NEMESIS? HE FUCKING SAID WHAT ABOUT.... OH MY GOD. oh fuck. I've fucked up so badly I need to reevaluate my entire life & risk sending a letter to an unmarried woman who hates my guts, just so i can explain shit. fuck.
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updated version/redraw of a samus piece i did last year! keep on stretchin! no abberation + closeup under the cut
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Actually wait ok i'm not done. i'm actually so serious abt this. I think that a large part of the reason i got attached to metroid when i was younger is because it was the first media i discovered where the main female character was allowed to look like this:
and like. people thought she was cool. BOYS thought she was cool and I had never seen boys think a female character was cool before, much less want to be like one. she had all these interesting traits that I had only ever seen in male characters (person of few words, calm and ruthless bounty hunter persona, highly respected for skill, her appearance isn't mentioned Ever, etc etc). and that was formative for me and my relationship to gender i think
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Yall ever think about how every character from every series, movie, book etc started as ocs? Hell techincally they are still ocs.
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so my aunt is turning 70 in a couple weeks, and I've planned a blowout birthday for her---rented a lake house, invited every member of our family and also some of her friends; I have delightfully kitschy decorations (including a glittery BIRTHDAY QUEEN sash and paste-jewel crown, thanks for asking); my freezer is full of cakes, frosting, and cookies, so all I have to do is defrost, assemble and serve. I have been working on this since February, and I plan parties like a quartermaster just before the army decamps---there are a lot of lists involved.
My most recent task is assembling a guest book, filled with both blank space (so people can write nice messages) as well as all the photos I could get from family members. There's something almost meditative about assembling these pictures---here is my aunt as a teen, standing awkwardly next to her grandmother; here is my aunt as a grown woman, admiring a niece or nephew's sloppy Christmas present; here she is on vacation, or with a friend, or at the interminable succession of Sunday dinners, birthdays, and graduation parties that are the fabric of our family life. Despite having no biological children, she's so involved, she's so present---and this is just what we could grab from phones, my personal photos, facebook!
(She maintains the family archive, so I can't ask her directly.)
I don't know if I have a firm conclusion here. Just that---well, may we all be blessed with more photographs of ourselves than will fill a scrapbook, and a niece who will spend 6 months thinking about how to gently bully you into celebrating your birthday.
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