#but to have that happen offscreen and then use it to justify her offering up her family to be mutilated?

[mejcinta]

Helaena's Displeasure and Forcefully Taking Attention (A Body Language Study).

Love, love, LOVE Phia's acting here. In the first picture, you can subtly see the confusion in Helaena's soft gaze the second she walks in ("Have you seen Dyana? She's supposed to dress the children..." *pauses*) and then the shock and outrage that dawns on her in the second picture, when she puts together what Aegon had done.

Her eyes are wider (notice you see more of the whites of her eyes in the second pic) and her lips are pressed into a tight, tense line as she freezes. She was displeased and shocked (the incident happened in their room!), but somewhat resigned. This is because she makes no drastic show with her body. Also, we never see her face when Alicent hugs her, although it is apparent that Aegon is staring at her while their mother comforts her.

Note that Helaena doesn't flinch from Alicent's touch this time, like she usually does. She actually *wants* the comfort this time. She must be pretty hurt.

Meanwhile, Aegon was just as stunned as Helaena when she walked in on him (his mouth fell agape, his fixed gaze on Alicent abruptly breaking to blink in surprise when Helaena appeared offscreen).

Notice how he stared back at her, fiddling (nervously) with the sheets covering his manhood out of embarrassment, when Alicent basically confirmed to Helaena what she feared had happened.

While Aegon was indifferent with Alicent and her justified lecture, he is clearly not happy with himself at what his actions has done to Helaena.

Because he cares? Who knows. But even being the mess of a husband he is, it seems that he acknowledges his wife is blameless, spotless and innocent in every way. She's done nothing but be the dutiful wife, the dutiful mother... yet he's caused her pain and continues to do so.

Aegon could be grappling here with why he never seems to get anything right. Why he never seems to please anyone. Why he only hurts and disappoints. Why he's insufficient.

Later at dinner, he gifts Helaena a beetle. A poor attempt at apologizing, yes, but it is all he knows, it seems, of Helaena's taste. And his characterisation so far (using ep 6 as reference for his bravado and boastfulness) is shown not to be conversant with the concept of admitting failure or defeat verbally.

Helaena plays with the beetle before dinner begins and even shows it off to Otto while they chat.

She inspects the gift in the background when Aegon teases Jace, glimpses at him and takes a swig of her wine, giggling subtly at Aegon's sex joke. Does she find this truly funny? Is the wine loosening her up? Or is this a sarcastic/knowing laugh given what happened earlier? Who knows.

The matter, however, seemed to have been turning in her mind. Because shortly after when she is seen thoughtfully stroking Aegon's beetle, she suddenly stands up to make the provoking toast:

"I would like to toast Baela and Rhaena. They'll be married soon. It isn't so bad...mostly he just ignores you. Except sometimes when he's drunk."

She must have been pondering the incident with Aegon and Alicent earlier and reliving the feelings she experienced. Her outrage, disappointment, discontent and hurt finally found an outlet in that toast.

The sigh she heaves out before sitting back down indicates that she had wanted to get things out of her chest and that speaking up had offered her some relief, even if it came at Aegon's expense lol (I think she was happy to embarrass him, personally. And she is justified).

Generally, my conclusion from this analysis of Helaena's body language is that:

1. She was pretty upset with Aegon's actions, 'ashamed' as Alicent implied earlier to Aegon.

2. Her spontaneous roast of him at the dinner, the sudden nature in which she jumped up, shows that she had in fact been brooding over the incident and was quite angry with him.

3. However, her laughter at Aegon's jokes imply that her sexual encounters with Aegon aren't forced like people want to believe. She isn't nervous beside him. In fact I'd argue Aegon is more wary of her than she could ever be of him.

4. Her understanding of sex is warped but it is clear she has her expectations and desires. That's why she jibes at Aegon's alcohol addiction. Perhaps she wishes they would bond sexually without alcohol being a necessity. Perhaps she wishes he didn't ignore her.

Her dull tone when she says "It isn't so bad mostly he just ignores you" shows that she's sad about that part of her marriage.

And when Jace gives Helaena attention in the form of asking for a dance she readily seizes the moment. Not because she likes him (this is Baela's betrothed and she clearly respects that), but because she desires to be showered with attention and if Aegon won't give it she'll take it from someone else while forcing Aegon to give HER attention.

Aegon struggles watching Jace dance with Helaena, and he clutches Helaena's beetle... mirroring her action of stroking it.

Again, Aegon is not the kind of man to admit defeat, so he seethes instead in silence as she dances.

In Tom Glynn Carney's words Aegon didn't want Jace to win by gaining a reaction from him.

So Helaena dances to her content, fanning Aegon's anger and jealousy while also gaining HIS attention and punishing him for how he wronged her earlier.

As Alicent well put it:

"Think of the shame on your wife..."

By accepting Jace's hand, Helaena consciously or unconsciously made Aegon experience the shame she went through earlier after his cowardly action.

In a way, this whole scene is a display of power play and the rift between man and wife. Much like Alicent requesting Rhaenyra take her infant up to her chambers was a challenge of power between rivals.

[selfawarejester]

I just watched Twiins Ink’s video on the hate that she gets from the FNDM for her honestly justified critique of the show and I have to say, the people who left those comments should be ashamed.

She’s been one of the only channels on YT who provide proper criticism that isn’t stupidly negative (like Adel Aka, who really does shit on RWBY every opportunity he gets) or completely biased (like MurderofBirds — sorry, Arnold, but it had to be said). Her points are valid, and obvious to anyone with half a brain, and the fact that despite that, people decided to label her and her sister as negative haters is childish.

Lots of people also don’t have First memberships or can watch the episode the day it comes out — does that mean we are automatically condemned to spoilers via thumbnails and video titles that we can’t control whether they’re recommended to us or not?? I’m sorry, Calxiyn, that we dared to come onto YouTube or the Internet when RWBY was being aired but we didn’t have First memberships. That really is on us. We should just lock up our devices, watch ONLY that episode and then move away again because by that point the next episode is available.

Look, if you wish to believe that there’s nothing wrong with RWBY, good for you. But most of us want to talk about the parts of it that don’t work for us, and Twiins Ink and Judgmental Critter help us with that. They offer concise feedback on what parts were objectively good and objectively bad. I don’t think I’ve come upon ANY point of theirs that was spiteful for the sake of being spiteful — they even try their best to dedicate a large amount of time to everything they LIKED in each volume!

It’s the same thing every rabid shipper and toxic fan in EVERY fandom needs to hear: IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE MEDIA YOU’RE CONSUMING, STOP CONSUMING IT. It goes for shows, fanfictions and YouTube videos. And before people say: “but they’re being all negative, maybe THEY should stop watching hurr”

No. They’re being critical. It’s something every content creator in the world has to deal with. They give the show praise when it does something well, and critique it when it does something badly. That’s how it works.

I got into RWBY for two reasons: Qrow Branwen and Monty Oum’s kickass choreography. I stayed because it had Lindsey, Barb, Miles, Michael — so many of my favorite personalities from RT.

But at this point, I could care less if they gave Qrow more screen time, wrote him off the show or finally gave us Team STRQ backstory (despite the team being directly related to two of our Mains) as long as they give Ruby, Weiss, Blake and Yang focus. And not as a hive-minded entity but as individuals who have their own problems to deal with, who have to come together to form RWBY instead of being the default packaging.

Our girls are now cut off from the plethora of other mains and side characters: this is CRWBY’s chance to prove that they have been listening to honest criticism and have been improving by letting them shine. Ruby lost her best friend, at the hands of her other friend. Her and Yang’s mother may be a Grimm hybrid. Weiss doesn’t know if her family is safe or not, and she was there when Penny died. Deal with that first.

Jaune has already had plenty of times in the spotlight — if Ruby can deal with witnessing Pyrrha’s death offscreen, he can deal with killing Penny offscreen as well.

(EDIT: I’m not saying that seeing a friend die and mercy-killing them is the same thing (as people have commented and messaged me about) but the fact is RWBY likes to brush important, heavy emotional baggage under the rug by setting up arcs and then we’ll come back to the characters magically already being over it.

It happened with Ruby’s Pyrrha trauma, it happened with Yang’s PTSD, it happened with Blake’s entire racism arc (but that’s probably for the best, as they couldn’t have given it the attention it deserved in the middle of all that happened). Jaune and his angst can take a backseat to the girls for ONE volume.)

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Artemis Fowl

Since the early 2000s, Artemis Fowl has been languishing in development hell, and it really is a mystery as to why. The series has everything you could possibly want for a blockbuster young adult franchise: it’s a charming blend of science and fantasy with rich worldbuilding and mythology, it has enjoyable and even complex characters who go through great character arcs over the course of the series, it has an enjoyable major antagonist, an insufferable smug villain protagonist who goes through a stellar redemption arc over the course of the series, and tons of crazy heists that combine scheming and fairy magic. There was no reason this couldn’t have existed as a competitor to the Harry Potter series, but alas, it was not to be. The young adult fantasy franchise languished for decades in development hell, until finally Disney pulled it out and put Kenneth Branagh at the helm. Finally, we were going to get the Artemis Fowl adaptation we deserved!

Except we didn’t.

Artemis Fowl is legitimately one of the worst adaptations of any work of fiction ever. It has been held up alongside The Last Airbender and The Lightning Thief as part of the Unholy Trinity of terrible adaptations, and I’m not even going to try and pretend that this “Honor” isn’t well and truly earned. This film is an utterly abominable bastardization of the beloved franchise, to the point where this feels like an entirely different story that had familiar names slapped on it at the last second. If you want to know what horrific extents this film has butchered the story and characters, read onward, but there’s no way I’m going to pretend this film isn’t awful right off the bat.

There is literally nothing in this film that works. Nothing at all. Starting from the opening scene, the establishing shots, you can tell things are wrong – there are news people around Fowl Manor? Mulch is being interrogated? What is going on? The film from the word go is simply making one thing absolutely and abundantly clear: this is not the Artemis Fowl you know. The film goes out of its way to do the opposite of the franchise, merely using names and vague concepts in an attempt to sucker fans into watching it. Butler’s first name, an emotional reveal from the third book, is common knowledge; Opal Koboi, a cunning and threatening major villain who was the antagonist for almost every novel starting with the second, is here reduced to basically a personification of the voice on the phone from Scream; Root, once a short-tempered man who was hard on Holly as a method of tough love to push her to be the very best LEP had to offer to prove women belonged on the force, is here a woman who, while just as angry as ever, robs Holly of a major part of her arc and reduces her to plucky female sidekick. And even outside of that, as its own thing, the movie is just utterly incomprehensible. The story is rushed and confusing, with lots of exposition and action but with no context or cohesion. Things happen and things go from scene to scene, but none of it makes any sort of sense. A character will switch allegiances within a few minutes, characters will somehow find a way to survive deadly attacks offscreen… the worst offender is a character death they try to push off as emotional, despite there being no reason to care for this character, and when all hope seems lost, a deus ex machina saves the day! My wife, who is unfamiliar with the series, and I, a huge fan, both struggled to figure out what was going on at any given point; the movie is really that bad at communicating what is happening, which is even more baffling because the film is a pathetic hour and a half in length, a distressingly short amount of time to establish a new science-fantasy franchise of this scale.

The characters are almost all terrible. Artemis is the standout with how awful he is; no longer the cunning criminal masterminds of the book, Artemis here is more of a somewhat smug little brat who is overly emotional and, worst of all, NICE. He’s so nice in fact that by the end of the film he has managed to speedrun his character development and arcs with Mulch and Holly, who consider him their close friend and ally. Butler is pretty bad here as well, mostly because he is given almost nothing to do and is seemingly only there because he was in the book. In fact, his crowning moment – when he took on the troll – is instead given to Artemis and even Holly, with Butler ending up severely injured. It’s a bit nasty that they changed Butler to be black and then had his (white) master steal his greatest moment; it’s giving me flashbacks to Kazaam. Opal is hit pretty bad as well; being made the big bad of this loose adaptation of the first book’s plot – which is amusingly one of the few books she had absolutely no role in – wouldn’t be so rough if she was more of a presence and not just some vague, hooded figure who threatens Artemis over the phone and generally does nothing to warrant being an adaptation of the baddest bitch in the series. She’s rather ineffectual and they even try and give her a sort of sympathetic motivation, one where she resents humans for pushing her kind underground. It really is a disgusting waste of a character who could easily rival heavy hitters like Voldemort in the awesome and theatrically evil department.

Holly is almost okay, but her entire arc and a big chunk of her narrative purpose is robbed by making Commander Root a woman. Root, played by Judi Dench, is honestly one of the better characters since Dench has Root dropping lines like “Top o’ the morning to ya” with gravelly deadpan seriousness which makes the character unintentionally hilarious, but the cheap laughs don’t really make up for butchering the story of one of fiction’s finest ladies. As a side note, they have made Holly 100% white despite her skin being described as nut brown rather frequently in the book, and the now white Holly together with Artemis steal away Butler’s biggest moment. And that’s not even getting into how they neutered Juliet, who has also been race lifted but was turned into a child who barely appeared in the film. I’m not usually one to toss about racism accusations, but there’s a lot of red flags here that Branagh’s usual colorblind casting just doesn’t excuse.

The most consistently enjoyable performance is Josh Gad’s as Mulch. From the moment he was cast, I knew he’d do a good job and capture the spirit of the character, and he does! ...sort of. The decision to have Mulch be a giant dwarf and narrate the story in a crappy Batman impression while also violating literally the most important law of fairy culture (don’t tell the humans anything about us) by spilling the beans to M16 is unbearably stupid, and a lot of his jokes are just relentlessly unfunny. But I think that Gad does leak a bit of that Mulch charm at a few points, and it’s apparent he at least somewhat gets his character, which is not something that can be said for anyone else in this film. Sadly, much like his standout performance as Lefou in the live action Beauty and the Beast, he can’t possibly save the trainwreck of a film he’s in.

I guess I’m not entirely surprised by this film. I mean, a lot of quality young adult literature from the past two decades has been horrifically mangled in the wake of Harry Potter – Inkheart, The Golden Compass, The Lightning Thief, Ender’s Game, and Eragon – so this movie really isn’t an anomaly. But it is the culmination of a horrible trend. This is the zenith of horrible young adult adaptations, or perhaps I should say the nadir of adaptations as a whole? For all the flak I could give those other adaptations, on some fundamental level they still understood something about the source material. Ender’s Game still understood it could not erase the ending where children are revealed to be being conscripted to perform the ethnic cleansing of an alien race. Eragon couldn’t completely ruin Saphira, try as it might. The Lightning Thief… well, I mean, I guess the Medusa scene was mostly faithful. But Artemis Fowl? Artemis Fowl goes out of its way to be the opposite of its literary counterpart that there is no way to justify even saying it is based on the book by Eoin Colfer; it would be like having a movie about kids hanging out at the mall and doing mundane stuff, except they’re all named Jesus and Peter and Paul and then saying it’s based on the Bible. Just using names doesn’t mean anything, you actually have to use the themes and characterizations too, and this movie does none of that.

This movie is most comparable to The Emoji Movie. Neither of these works really deserve to be called a “Film” since they are basically whatever it is they’re trying so desperately to be stripped down to the bare essentials. The Emoji Movie is the most basic, by-the-numbers animated adventure film with a “be yourself” message you could ever hope to see, with a story so absolutely basic that just watching the trailer will allow you to predict the every motion of the plot. Artemis Fowl on the other hand is the most cliche-ridden fantasy epic franchise-starter you could imagine, and that’s if you’re able to penetrate the ridiculously dense and cluttered story and are able to make sense of what’s going on. I can think of absolutely no one this film could ever appeal to. There’s not a single redeeming thing about it. The movie is flashy, trashy junk that should never have been released, and Disney honestly did the right thing by releasing this on their streaming service because it would be outright disgusting to charge movie ticket prices for this tripe. The fact Disney has more faith in the eternally-delayed New Mutants theatrically speaks volumes about the quality of this film.

I can’t in good conscious say that this is the worst film of all time. F4ntastic is probably a much worse butchering of characters than this film; Disaster Movie is much more horrendously offensive and unfunny than this; hell, Chicken Little is probably a worse Disney movie because as awful as everyone in this film is, at least they aren’t Buck Cluck! But I don’t think there’s a single movie I hate more than this one. Lucy can finally move over and sleep easy knowing that the fact it’s not based on a pre-existing work has finally saved it from the #1 spot on my worst list; Artemis Fowl is now the reigning champ. Kenneth Branagh should be ashamed of himself for making and releasing this (and doubly ashamed for having the gall to unironically compare his slaughtering of Artemis Fowl’s character to Michael Corleone), Disney should be shamed for putting more money into this film than they did into BLM charities, and I hope that Eoin Colfer finds whatever he was paid worth it to see his greatest creation butchered and disrespected like this.

[bigskydreaming]

thehollowprince said: I am looking forward to seeing how this all unfolds, because its a great premise, though I don’t know if I would have attempted to juggle all the chimeras the way you are. Although, speaking of chimeras, where’s Theo? I have a hunch he’s the one “helping” Hayden’s sister, and I’m curious as to what happened to the other chimera? The big one with the Garuda talons? Belasko?

Belasko is long dead and gone in this, he was a willing accomplice/minion of the Dread Doctors and official in-story fate for him is that he thus eventually died from incompatibility with his ‘donor’ material the way several of the other chimeras did in canon and Hayden was going to without Scott giving her the bite. The reason the chimeras are all werewolves here is because as Corey briefly alluded to while he and Lucas were investigating the creepy Fae Murder-House, they WERE chimeras created/experimented on by the DD just like in the show. 

And when Scott and his core pack of Malia, Aiden and Ethan plus the surviving members of Satomi’s pack who escaped Kali with them like Brett, Carrie and Lori, like....when pre-story, they tracked down the Doctors’ most recent lair in the hopes of finding Theo, who Scott, Malia, Aiden and Ethan hoped was still alive even though they believed he died in their original escape from the Doctors, they found the other chimeras and took them with them instead. Eventually, of course, some of them like Hayden started dying because of their chimera natures, and since the Scott of this AU has different issues with the bite and his werewolf nature because of how things went down here versus how they happened in canon.....one of the ripple effects of that is here he’s less opposed to offering the bite when it seems needed, and so he offered and they all accepted rather than risk the poisoning fate that they had no way of knowing whether or not it might happen to them all at some point or not.

The not in-story explanation for the lack of Belasko is I simply said, with feeling, “Oh FUCK no, that is NOT remotely what a garuda is, Davis you freaking hack, Garuda isn’t even something you can freaking pluralize since he’s a being not a supernatural species, and I already oh fucked no this with Hayden and your nagual shit and oh fucked no this with your wendigo and skinwalker shit and I just effin’ refuse to oh fuck no this again so y’know what, Belasko’s dead, he died, oh no, much sadness, no more ‘garuda’ chimeras. And what the fuck was even up with his plot vehicle of a power anyway, like why the fuck did you even decide that ‘garuda’ was the best and only match for ‘a supernatural being that takes other peoples’ powers.’ Like, we get it, you made the chimeras to be the X-Men story nobody was ever going to pay you to write, but Belasko’s no fucking Rogue, and know what? Now you did it, I just decided in fact he’s just dead. You only have yourself to blame. Shouldn’t have made him suck, then maybe somebody would give a shit.”

Ahem. Anyway. Yeah that’s the backstory for the lack of Belasko. In shorter news, Donovan also died offscreen simply because I was fucking sick to death of everything said about him and that stupid shoe-horned ‘schism’ resulting from his canon death so I just made the executive decision to just nope him out of existence and just Not with him instead.

The only other remaining chimera was Noah, the berserker chimera played by Jordan Fisher who as you know, I very much like and felt was wasted by the show, so he’s still very much around and kicking, as was briefly mentioned when they were talking about Hayden’s sister.. He accepted the bite the same as the rest of the chimeras, but he still had a home and family he felt missed him and was worth going back to, so he went home with Scott and the rest of the pack’s blessing and well-wishes. That was very much laid in there as a Chekhov’s gun of a plot point to pay off later. (Hayden of course misses her sister a great deal, but she suffers from some insecurities and doubts pre-existing from her and Val’s parents’ deaths that made her feel that going home would just mean danger would follow her there, much like the reason Scott left and stayed away from Beacon Hills. Whereas Noah doesn’t have similar reasons or Peter-related issues for feeling this way and mostly was just sure if his mother could hear him expressing such a sentiment, she’d ground the shit out of him for even thinking that was an acceptable explanation for staying away. He was always meant to show up eventually though).

ACTUAL SPOILER-Y SPOLERS I guess, if anybody is concerned on that front at this point, lmfao:

And yup, Theo is absolutely the ‘anonymous source’ behind Hayden’s sister suddenly deciding out of the blue that there was some clue to be found in New York. He did survive and has been playing a longterm game of his own all along, because I stan a villainous Theo who isn’t an inherently just evil or irredeemable character, but one who has believed himself to be the only one looking out for his best interests and used to doing so for long enough that he has as of now convinced himself he can explain or justify most any actions he takes for this reason, at least enough to satisfy his own conscience. I just find Theo incredibly more compelling as the teenage version of canon Peter to act as a foil to Scott, as opposed to the teenage version of fanon Peter to act as a victim to Scott, y’know, the way most everybody decided to view him as.

The spoiler-y part is that like Aiden and Ethan briefly mentioned to each other when they first showed up in Beacon Hills, Theo was one of the original DD captives in this universe, along with Scott, Malia, Aiden and Ethan - a werewolf being experimented alongside the other four by the Doctors, for their ‘unique’ traits. (Malia and Theo’s full-shift abilities, Aiden and Ethan’s ‘twin connection’ and Scott’s seemingly greater-than-average resistance to magic like mountain ash circles, with this of course actual being an indicator of his future status as a True Alpha. The one and only difference I made to Theo’s backstory here is that he’s actually a werewolf and not a chimera here. He was changed by a rogue Alpha’s bite at one point, much like he’d claimed originally on the show). Anyway, at one point, the Doctors’ experiments finally triggered Scott’s ascension to True Alpha by essentially pushing at his protective instincts in regards to the others. 

But while this was something the Doctors were aiming for, having their own uses for a potential True Alpha’s power/nature, there was an unexpected side-effect they hadn’t planned for, given that there wasn’t much data for them to go off of when it came to True Alphas because of how rare they are (at least by the time the Dread Doctors came along, though that wasn’t always the case, as Alberich expressed to Lucas and Corey).

What they didn’t account for stems back to that long as fuck meta I wrote ages ago about how I view ‘the shape you take reflects the person you are’ in canon, and True Alphas. Basically, my take has always been you either are a True Alpha or you’re not. There’s no ‘level-up’ process, no ACTUAL ‘ascension.’ To me, TA just means like.....a werewolf who is ALWAYS more of a leader than ever a follower, since even other Alphas like Derek, Peter, and the Alpha Pack have demonstrated that at least before they were each alphas, they were all more than capable of and willing to exist as betas to another alpha, even if that alpha was just their direct predecessor and a born relative. Scott’s unique-ness within the Teen Wolf universe ultimately comes down to one thing and one thing only for me.....no matter how his personal views and morality evolved and changed over time, the one thing that was a constant was that no matter what, he was never willing to follow anyone he didn’t believe had a ‘right’ to lead him or command him, and he wasn’t swayed by the usual arguments of why a werewolf like him, a seeming beta, SHOULD view someone like Peter or Derek having the ‘right’ to command his allegiance. 

Because even though he wasn’t technically an Alpha until 3A......Scott by Derek’s own admission was never really a beta or an omega. To be a beta, he would have had to ACTUALLY accept Peter or Derek’s ability or right to command his allegiance, which he never actually did, and he was never really an omega either, because as Derek said in S2, he realized the reason he had so much trouble convincing Scott to join him was he was already the alpha of his own pack. Since, like Scott’s later pack always included non-werewolves, there was never actually any reason why Allison and Stiles COULDN’T have been considered his pack all along.

The only reason IMO that Scott wasn’t a True Alpha from day one, is because he came into the werewolf world not having a clue what the ‘rules’ were, and from day one, every single person to fill him in on what the rules were, did so according to their traditional/more common views of how ‘things worked.’ He didn’t immediately reveal himself as a TA because he didn’t realize such a thing even existed, or it was even possible to be one, and so for a time it kinda existed....in flux, as it were. He wasn’t truly a beta or omega because neither was in his nature - he was very much a social creature, a pack entity more suited to being surrounded by others than a loner, but he was also not remotely someone willing to set aside his own views, beliefs or goals in order to follow someone else’s, even if the price for that unwillingness was being essentially outcast as far as both ‘normal werewolf society’ and normal human society viewed things. He simply reflected the IMAGE of being a beta or an omega, gold eyes and all, because as far as he knew, as far as he’d internalized as of that point, that was who he was supposed to be or all he COULD possibly be. 

What changed this for him wasn’t just being made aware that True Alphas were a thing, albeit rare, like in 3A when Deaton first mentioned it. Because after all, the only REASON Deaton brought it up, was because Scott and others were ALREADY confused by the occasional flickers of alpha red they witnessed his eyes showing, like in the fight with Ennis, and technically, going all the way back to Night School in S1, where his eyes flickered red when he defied Peter’s efforts to mentally exert dominance over him and make him kill the others. Basically, just like when he matched Ennis blow for blow, even if just briefly, even though as the bigger, stronger, and more experienced and ALPHA werewolf Ennis should have swatted him aside like a fly, not just knocked him back a few feet......the flickers of Alpha red showed up just when Scott seemingly defied the ‘rules’ of werewolf nature and refused to give way to an Alpha’s dominance the way that most other betas and omegas typically were seen or believed to. 

IMO its as simple as ‘at these times and others, Scott SHOWED that he was simply NOT a beta, he refused to follow any convictions MORE than his own, and he was consistently SHOWN to never truly be an omega, because how can someone be packless when someone has people already willing to follow HIM’.....and thus, he was a True Alpha all along, simply because Alpha was the only word left to describe him, even if he never inherited the ‘power’ from another Alpha or ‘stole it’ by killing one. The only thing that ever actually changed for him, was that he existed as a werewolf long enough and in enough defiance of ‘the way things worked’ that he just stopped ACCEPTING that beta and omega were the only two options that existed to define him, and he just for the first time fully internalized his own belief that he didn’t NEED others to define him, that it was enough that he just exist as he already was. His own self-image, self-WORTH, was all that he needed. 

And that’s why the pivotal moment in which he ‘ascended’ to True Alpha once and for all, was basically when he was once again saying ‘fuck you’ to the ‘rules’ when he broke through Jennifer’s mountain ash circle, something he shouldn’t have been capable of. He was able to do it, and manifest fully as the True Alpha he’d been all along, because in that moment, he deliberately and with INTENT, like with full conscious awareness of what he was doing, that he was fully attempting to accomplish what everyone else claimed was impossible, he basically said “the rules don’t matter to me, the fact that everyone believes I SHOULDN’T be able to do this doesn’t matter to me, the only thing that matters to me is I’m going to do it whether anyone else believes I can or not. Only I and I alone get to decide who I am and what I’m capable of.”

THAT in my opinion is what True Alpha always meant, and its why Scott was the only one we saw on the show....because his narrative, deliberately from day one, was ALWAYS one of self-determination above all else.

So basically, the same logic and reasoning all applies to LC and his ‘ascension’ to True Alpha there....it was the same thing. He was one all along, but only became one when his conscious AND subconscious reflection of ‘the way things worked’ gave way to his stronger self-determination and refuses to just ACCEPT the way things work. And because here the Dread Doctors, like most everyone else in universe, like except for those like say, Alberich, because they just innately didn’t understand the real nature of True Alphas and what made someone one and WHY they’d become so rare (essentially, it became like a self-fulfilling prophecy - the more rare True Alphas became, the less of them there were because the less new and young werewolves believed let alone ACCEPTED that there was an alternative to following those they didn’t believe in, if they simply....refuted it enough via their own self-image).....but because the Doctors didn’t fully GET that Scott wasn’t just a potential True Alpha, but was already kinda a....True Alpha in-cocoon so to speak....they didn’t fully realize all the potential repercussions of them trying to PUSH him into manifesting as one the way they were.

And so the thing where it was mentioned that the twins, Scott and Malia all kinda ‘share’ each other’s unique traits now, with all of them able to full-shift, all of them sharing a lesser degree of the same psychic connection the twins do, and Scott’s seeming greater-than-average resistance to magic....that happened all on its own, the second Scott ‘fully’ became a True Alpha, and its the part the DD didn’t prepare for and didn’t understand. Because by not getting that Scott had already been an Alpha the whole time, they didn’t realize that these shapeshifters they’d been keeping in close proximity to one another, in shared predicaments, and clearly developing bonds because of it....like, just as Scott was already an Alpha by then, they were ALREADY a pack by then. They just didn’t know it, because well, a pack needs an alpha and they didn’t realize they already had one. So basically, they already HAD a pack bond, and thus when that combined with the Dread Doctors’ actual experiment and the kinda.....magical reaffirmation of Scott’s own self-image and alphahood rippled back through the suddenly VERY REAL and very CLEARLY real pack bond all at once, like it’d simply magically sprung into existence instead of just showing what had already been there in a different shape or form.....this all added together to kinda create this supernatural compounding effect. And thus, pretty much by accident, the Dread Doctors managed to completely unintentionally create a REAL throwback to the werewolf packs of old, like Alberich and the other Fae had ORIGINALLY ‘designed’ them to be.

Because just like the power of a werewolf comes from essentially being the supernatural embodiment of their strength of self, of their inner power, who and what they really are....(and why the shape an Alpha takes in the show varies so tremendously based on how the various Alphas viewed THEMSELVES and their own power)....

So too, is the power of a werewolf PACK the supernatural embodiment of the idea of the pack in full....the idea that the whole is GREATER than just the sum of its parts. Which is why the more werewolves get added to a pack, the more EACH individual pack member’s strength, healing, etc, increased as a whole. And thus here, that was true, but in addition, these various unique shapeshifters also ended up sharing the same traits that made each of them ON THEIR OWN fairly distinct....which actually is the way it was always intended to be, and once had been true of ancient packs.

(As of now, only the core pack of Scott, Malia, Aiden and Ethan share in this ‘level’ of their pack bond, but as for why that is, the answer is actually in the above explantion, lol).

So yeah, Scott manifested as a True Alpha, instant pack bond whammo, and reacting pretty much on instinct to the surprise this created for the DD, they escaped, largely by instinctively pulling on EACH OTHER’S individual gifts...because while the way the DD held them captive took into account their respective gifts, like say, Malia’s ability to full-shift, it DIDN’T take into account the possibility of all of them suddenly being able to full-shift without warning.

And then Scott, Malia, Aiden and Ethan escaped and spent the next several months wandering, stuck in their full-shfit shapes because they didn’t entirely yet understand what had happened or how, and so with that and the trauma they’d endured, it took them awhile to like....remember how to shift BACK, essentially.

At the time, the four of them all believed Theo had died in their escape attempt. But after they eventually got free of Kali and Julia, and had added the surviving members of Satomi’s old pack, they decided to try and track down the Dread Doctors in the hope that Theo was still alive....because now, with a better understanding of what had happened and what they were capable of, they were convinced they could still feel Theo through their initial pack bond.

Instead they found the chimeras and no sign of Theo, and with the urgency of at least getting these latest prisoners of the DD safe and sound, they kinda accepted that maybe they were wrong and it was just wishful thinking that they’d been so sure they could still feel Theo.

Or at least, Scott and Aiden did. Ethan and Malia, not quite.

You remember when Josh, Tracy, Lucas and Corey met with Malia in the park at night while Lucas and Corey told them about meeting Alberich and everything he’d said and hinted at, and the ‘offer’ he’d asked them to take to Scott? And how Malia firmly shut that shit down and all but ordered all of them not to say a word, because as she said, Scott absolutely would take Alberich’s deal without a second thought, to keep the rest of them safe, no matter what it meant for him? When they asked if that meant not telling the twins either, and Malia said yes because Ethan would agree but Aiden never would, and Lucas asked if this meant she and Ethan HAD ever before kept something from Scott and Aiden specifically and she said yes but refused to elaborate further.....this is what that was referencing.

Because when they went back for Theo and found the chimeras instead, Ethan and Malia ended up on their own at one point, and this is when they discovered that Theo had been a plant all along. Yes he was a werewolf in this AU, but he’d still ended up working for the Dread Doctors in exchange for getting away from the Alpha who’d turned him. They’d put him in with the others under the guise of him just being another experiment, in order to utilize him as a kind of control variable to nudge the others in ways and at times they expected them to be resistant to just going along with the Doctors’ latest experiment.

At the time, they didn’t find any proof that Theo was still alive after all, just this, so Malia and Ethan did still very much believe that he was dead at this point, same as Scott and Aiden now.....and so they felt that there was no point in telling them this and disillusioning them with Theo’s betrayal/complicity the way they felt betrayed by this information, and that it would just make things worse. They honestly felt they were protecting them by doing this, or at least Scott as he was the one they were concerned would take it the worst given how much responsibility he feels for everything and everyone.....but they also agreed not to tell Aiden as they didn’t think he’d agree to keep it from Scott. As Aiden in this AU is extremely ride or die from Scott and hates subterfuge as a general rule (but also, because hiding the info about Theo and this deal about Alberich is absolutely doomed to bite them in the ass, and Scott needed to have at least ONE of the inner circle who wasn’t hiding anything from him, specifically BECAUSE they knew he wouldn’t agree to it, just like Josh is of course, Very Not Happy about being asked to hide this stuff about Alberich and his offer).

So yeah, Theo of course did survive the original escape attempt and escaped himself and decided to stay that way and that he’d had enough of the Doctors’ ‘help’/employment.....

But also in no small part because he’d ended up getting hit by/included in the pack bond the same as the others when it manifested, and considering he was as clueless why as any of them at first, he had no doubt that if he stayed in the Doctors’ reach, they’d be quite keen to use him for all their experiments into why and what it meant regardless of his ‘allegiances.’

Ever since then, he’s kinda been on his own doing his own thing, and he had no plans to go after the others or do anything more to them at first, as this Theo DOES still have a conscience and while he believes in looking out for number one, it DID still at times ping while lying to the others.....but that kinda changed once he worked out for himself a little bit of what it meant that he still could ‘feel’ the others, as well as being more resistant to magic now than he’d been previously. Because to ACTUALLY partake in the pack bond that’d been created, that meant that at least some of the bond he’d ‘faked’ creating with the others actually HAD been real. It wouldn’t have been enough for just THEM to believe it’d been real, and him to benefit from getting their portion of things as a result, like he’d originally tried to convince himself. Because see, once he did track down the others and observe them from afar, just to test his own theories, he found out that just like him....Scott and the twins now could full-shift into coyotes, like Malia. That, after all, was what they’d all gotten from her.

But, they - and Malia - ALSO could full-shift into wolves. Just like him.

And that, they could have ONLY gotten from HIM. The others didn’t get just a full-shift ability from Malia....they got the ability to shift fully into BOTH their wolf selves, and a coyote version of themselves, due to how closely related wolves and coyotes are, and thus they just sort of manifest slightly different selves via that shared family connection. It probably wouldn’t have worked the same way if Malia had been like a were-bear shifter or something, but another canine, yeah. They don’t use the other shape much at all, because for Scott, Ethan, Aiden and Theo, the wolf is what FEELS most like ‘them,’ whereas the coyote feels like a comfortable, well-fitting disguise they can slip into from time to time, while for Malia its the same in reverse, but its still something they each have. 

And thus while the others could make the assumption, given that they thought Theo was dead or dead and a fake the whole time, that both full-shifts came from Malia’s ability just combined with the wolf nature of the other three.....for Theo, there was no denying that the reality was that the wolf full-shifts came from him. From him - unknowingly or not - ACTUALLY offering it up through the pack bond....something that only could have happened as something he GAVE, not that they just TOOK. Something, that was proof that somehow, without realizing it, the bonds he’d formed during that initial time had actually become a lot more real than he’d convinced even himself.

And Theo does NOT care for that realization.

Because see, if ANY of that was real, on his end, that gave those pings of his conscience from way back then renewed life and intensity, and frankly, he doesn’t care too much for his conscience. Its loud and annoying and inconvenient, and he’d quite like it to go suck a dick when he’s being comfortably amoral and doing whatever he damn well feels like doing for no other reason than because he feels like it. But now the thing’s always peskily droning away in the background reminding him its there, and Theo unfortunately tends to make some of his worst decisions when he’s testily trying to prove to his conscience that you’re not the boss of me and bitch, I do what I want.

Plus there’s the fact that on top of this, the very idea of MUTUAL pack bonds gives Theo very icky feelings of things like...obligation, and concern, and other four letter words that he very much just does not fuck with, thanks ever so much. With the cherry on top of his “I Did Not Ask For This, Please Take It Back To The Kitchen But No Not The Added Powers Too, Those Can Stay, I Like Those” Pie being that, well.....like I said, the reason none of them or the Dread Doctors realized ahead of time that they were already a pack, is because a pack needs an Alpha.

Which in time, makes Theo realize, that if on some level, he’s actually and still actually PACK, in his own subconscious as much as theirs.....then this by extension means....on some level, he views and accepts Scott as his alpha.

Theo: OH HELLLLLLLLLL NO.

Which, to my mind, is why Theo was always the perfect foil for Scott. Scott is a True Alpha who THINKS he’s okay with following but in actuality is never truly comfortable allowing another’s will to supersede his own, and would rather be on his own than with someone he’s uncomfortable following. Theo is a lone wolf who THINKS he’s okay being one and would never follow anyone but himself, but in actuality, he’s never truly been comfortable alone and he’s willing to allow others’ will to supersede his own if they offer comfort that outweighs his discomfort with the idea.

So Theo’s around making moves in the background because he has his own agenda for Fixing This and making things more in line with how he’d like them. There’s definitely an end game for that but I wouldn’t say its total redemption-oriented as he has absolutely Fucked Stuff Up before this point and will continue to do so, and with gusto, because he’s kinda his own worst enemy, but neither is it outright vilifaction and death and/or total ostracization/exile-esque. Its more...Theo is very much still in flux, somewhat like Scott was between being bitten and ‘becoming’ a True Alpha, and nothing that doesn’t go smoothly is totally without consequences. Its just.....Theo’s complicated, and he’s going to remain so, but what that means exactly tends to change over time. But like, Malia is also complicated, and so are Ethan and Aiden, and so is Scott, and they are all very different versions of complicated, so.......basically all I’m saying is I don’t think I could ever write a Theo that’s fully a ‘Good Guy’ but as much as I detest show Theo, like the twins, its because he could have been written a lot differently and been a lot more compelling for it, all without ever being a ‘Good Guy’ and so I’m not actually all that interested in writing him as an out and out no holds barred villain either.

[ripsinfest]

Aunt Kate: How not to write a character (part 2)

Previous

How not to resolve a conflict

Steal: to take (the property of another or others) without permission or right, especially secretly or by force.

At one point in the story we learn that Kate is having financial issues.

Now, a competent writer would actually show Kate struggling financially. Maybe have The Witch Inn in a state of decay, or Kate unable to buy stuff (like a broom, a cauldron, anything) because she can’t afford it.

Unsurprisingly, Ishida uses a lazier simpler approach:

What does Kate do in order to save her business? She starts stealing from any unfortunate soul who happens to be in her forest. 

You know, things you’d expect from a villain/bad guy, not a character the author wants you to root for.

It’s impossible to justify something like this, and yet, Kate never suffers any kind of repercussions for her actions, she gets to keep all of her victims’ money while the three Fembots mock their victims and celebrate. To make matters worse, the ending implies that there will be more victims. What kind of messed up conclusion is this?

After further analysis, there may be more to this story than Ishida is willing to admit.

AdmiralTigelle sums it up pretty well:

As I put this in, I realized something I hadn't before which is an even harsher slap to the face of anyone who ever donated to Tatsuya's patreon. Keep in mind he started his Patreon in January of 2018. Tatsuya, portraying his former supporters as Johnbie's, wrote these strips:

https://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2018-08-14 (His fans telling him what to change)

https://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2018-08-15 (Tatsuya denouncing his old fans via mouthpiece)

https://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2018-08-16 (Tatsuya taking the money from his former supporters)

https://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2018-08-17 (Another mock)

https://www.sinfest.net/view.php?date=2018-08-18 (A final diss to his former Patreon supporters and a command to leave)

What a douche

Source

Coincidence or not, this is a terrible story and a good way to make your character unlikeable. Up until that point I simply thought that Kate was merely unremarkable/forgettable. This story is what made me dislike her.

In a shocking twist, Kate would eventually find success. 

Despite struggling to land customers for nearly three years, The Witch Inn suddenly became popular among witches. No explanations offered.

I’m sure this was done intentionally by Ishida as some sort of damage control after that childish outburst. I believe he realized (a little too late) that stealing is wrong, or maybe he was advised by his fans that stealing from innocent bystanders didn’t paint his characters in a good light.

The reasoning behind this decision was most likely to absolve Kate from her crimes. He returned back to the root of the problem (money), and gave Kate the customers she needed (which is what he should’ve aimed for in the first place), that way there wouldn’t be any need to steal.

Sadly for Ishida, that’s not how things work. You can’t just present a conflict and resolve it offscreen without offering any kind of explanation, that’s not how storytelling works. At the same time, this doesn’t absolves Kate for her crimes. Yeah, I can assume that she no longer steals from Johnbies because there’s no need to, but that’s not enough to redeem the character.

Overall, Ishida had the opportunity to paint Kate in a more sympathetic light (2 years late) by creating a conflict a lot of people are forced to go through. Sadly, due to his pride and ego, rather than make a satisfactory story where he could make Kate more relatable/likeable, he chose to resolve the conflict poorly just for the sake of mocking his own fanbase. 

To quote AdmiralTigelle, what a douche...

Next

[abeautifulblog]

Gremble watches a witcher, episode 2

- I'm really liking the diversity in their casting, and that skin color seems to be 100% NBD in this world. Unrealistically whitebread fantasy casting always makes me think of this:

- ...Am withholding judgment on the thing with the elves though, because fantasy racism often winds up inadvertently justifying the racism (“Mages are dangerous! Elves betrayed the humans!” etc) and forgets that IRL racism is completely fucking arbitrary.

- Splitting the narrative three ways put a strain on this episode, ngl. I get that they have to show what's going on with Ciri, but watching a child running and hiding and running and hiding is not terribly compelling. Though I did like that they showed-us-not-told-us that she's both resourceful and empathetic, re: dyeing her hair with mud and sharing her glove with the boy.

- The show continues to do interesting things with morally ambivalent characters—that the woman who doesn't hesitate to give Ciri food and shelter and implicitly offer her a place in their family is also downright abusive to the help—and leaves us to form our own opinions.

- Yennefer's backstory was good, but unsurprising, pretty much what tumblr had led me to expect. Again with the moral ambiguity around Tissaia: who is introduced as an Unpleasant-nigh-Abusive person, but as the episode progresses, you get the sense that there's a reason she takes the approach that she does, that her cruelty isn't pointless sadism. (Which, to be sure... doesn't justify abuse? But it does potentially complicate Yennefer's reaction to it.)

- Also ambiguous: Istredd! I hope he turns out to be legit, because their romance is very sweet. And yes, both of them are obviously being used as pawns by their respective headmasters, but I think it's worth noting that the information he handed over to Stregobor (that Yennefer is part-elf) is way less weaponize-able than other things she'd told him (re: that her deepest fear is being judged and found wanting).

- Jaskier, hm. Maybe he'll grow into something more than a one-note comedy sidekick. Because (having read lots o' fic before watching this) I was primed to like him, and I largely did, but I could also sympathize with the people who found him annoying.

- (It doesn't help that I don't find Joey Batey attractive? He just looks too much like me?? His face, like mine, does weird unsexy things when he makes facial expressions, and all I see when I look at him is everything I dislike about my own features. Granted, Jaskier has much better Game than I do—I feel like he's running a con in which he fools people into thinking he's hot?)

- WOT THE FUK, the entire resolution of the Filavandrel (sp) part of the episode happened offscreen?? I could have done with them cutting some minutes from Ciri's sections to make room for that instead. Felt like a cop-out, 2/10.

- Yea the song is catchy.

[roxannepolice]

Long asks anon again, here to offer my opinion on the current wank. Rey as a character is rather blatantly breaking sw story rules and nothing is going to get SFF fans hackles up like rule breakage. This is root of both the MarySue accusations and current wank. Rey has a tragic backstory thats doubling as the only failure she can call her own. But its a) damn near entirely offscreen and b) serves as convenient justification for why shes competent at near everything that comes up.

Reys instantly good at the force because of a convenient force download that to the best of my knowledge only occured in the noncanon KOTOR II and quite frankly cant blame most of the general audience for not getting because without prior knowledge or the novelizations why would they? She has darkness in her but as so far used and touched it consequence free and its almost entirely symbolically externalized on the Kylo (and in SW symbolism is Real in a way it isnt in other narratives) Shes strong in the force because Light rises to meet Dark but to quote the current crop of movies ‘thats not how the force works) or at least thats never how it worked before. Shes the first SW protagonist to go behind enemy lines and come out with both hands in the second movie. For ppl wondering how come Luke and Ani never get labeled MarySues, this is why, they got thier asses handed to them, Rey hasnt. There /is/ something /off/ in Reys story, and ppl pick up on it. if you can make a post (w/ over 1k notes!) about how great it is that a character meant to prop up 7hrs worth of movies has little to no character development to go through, somethings off. If multiple ppl can make posts about how its neat Rey can tap into the darkside (still characterized as evil in ST) consequence free (with some quite frankly stupid justifications, 'shes disciplined’ really? jedi lacked a lot of things thats not one of them) somethings off and again, if the only failure your main heroine has is /entirely retroactive something’s off/. If the story were getting with the is the story most ppl think we are, a 'female empowerment’ (i dont feel particularly empowered by being told I have an equal chance at being a deus ex machina but ok) than well, her story is over and theres no need for IX (hell it could have been over in TFA, most ppl assumed she had accepted her place as the future jedi in that one) and no need for reylo The ST was always gonna deconstruct all that came before it purely by virtue of being a sequel. The tragedy of anakin skywalker is now a farce, the happy ot ending now a tragedy, and the mythopoetic structure shot to shit in the name of serialization and perpetual warfare. this stand true for all the sequel characters including rey and ben. the only question is are we going to get anything out of it? I compare it to home renovation. You can knock out a wall and the walls gone, but new opportunities arise. With Benlo, I’m reasonably confident that there will be at least some attempt to take advantage of the new space. With rey and the resistance kids? not so much. it just feels like they knocked down a blue wall to rebuild it as pink one and at the point it just feels like a waste of time because ive seen this before. Ive seen pure cinnamon roll desert orphan reform jedi order If this was all youre going to do that the fuck was the point? which circles around to my problem with team good guy this go around and That Scene. JJ twisted the story into a pretzel to justify the winners of the last round being the underdogs again and then rian twisted so much further the storys head may as well be up its own ass. And then at the very end he shoots it all to shit and rushes to reassure us its all gonna be okay. He removes the entire point of the underdog trope /the tension that comes from the fact that they might lose/. I mean there wasnt a whole lot of that to begin with already but really? So theres no tension that Reys gonna win so her journey feels frictionless, and theres no question where shes gonna end up so full offense why give a shit? Thats where the whole 'can rey lose a fight?’ thing comes from. Ppl want conflict in her arc to justify its existence and give us a reason why this her story to begin with. if the only character going through growth for all three movies is ben, if the only characters whos fate is up in the air is ben, and if all the tension in the reylo relationship comes from ben, then why is this /reys story/? why not just make it about the character actually driving all the drama and thus, the story?   As a final thought, im going to add that having Kylo be aware and insecure that hes never gonna be as Iconic as Vader was a great story choice, regardless of where ends up. Current Rebels, on the other hand, seems to have not gotten the memo that they are never gonna be as iconic as Original Rebels, and the story itself seems to being trying to sell them to me as being better. Rey is Luke but better, Poe/Finn are Han wo the smuggler grit, and id be lying if i said it didnt piss me off.

&

Long asks anon to kick down ur door again, AND ANOTHER THING. SW is a lotta things. Subtle aint one of them, and St hasnt changed in that regard. If you have to debate it chances are either a) ur arguing counter to the text in which case mor power to you but not really helpful for predictions or intended meaning or b) /it aint there. A bunch of ppl didnt like anidala, but nobody doubted we were supposed to think they were in love by the end of AOTC, bunch of ppl didnt like poes arc, but no one doubts he fucked up by not listening to holdo was the intended take away. Which brings to rey and flaws or lack there of. Were told rey has flaws but she has yet to suffer any real consequences from them with the exception of The Damn Parentage Wank, which again, pulls the double duty of making her hyper competent at everything. Because rey has no consequences for her flaws, from a story function pov there aren’t any. If rey did have a flaw to overcome, we would all agree what it was

Now won’t you all just look at this beautiful, spot on rant which has been lagging in my askbox since the last time Rey’s flaws or lack thereof were the discourse’s focus (November, I believe?) and suddenly became a thing again, courtesy of Tweetgate. I think you really summed up the crux of this debate wonderfully, anon.

I particularly agree with the part about Rey not getting narratively punished for whatever flaws we’d like her to have (great point about returning from behind the enemy lines with both arms still in place), when SW don’t stay away from allowing characters to get “punished” even for otherwise applaudable features - vide Padmé, whose idealism is what Palps manipulates into gaining more power (this is why Padmé will never come off as a Mary Sue or too perfect, btw). But I’ll say even more - Rey doesn’t even get called out on her flaws, except for by Ben, who’s mostly dismissed as a baddie like Palpatine saying Luke was foolish to rely on his friends. Let’s just consider one thing - both Anakin and Luke get called out on their flaws by Yoda (Anakin repeatedly and by lots of other people for that matter) whereas with Rey, the same grumpy-yet-jolly senex pops up from the afterlife to further inform us what a great jedi material she is.

TBH, I have a very cynical theory as to why Rey is being pushed as the main character while it’s difficult to deny that it’s Kylo Ben who does all the plot heavy lifting. I’m pretty sure Ben’s arc was the first one DLF thought out (and the big question is, was it the only one they thought out) and only later on decided to make Rey the main character, which also involved much less spontaneous writing. Mind you, it’s not as if benepemption didn’t have a manufactured subtaste to it, but with Rey’s heroine’s journey stiff structure occasionally substitutes any in-world explanations of her actions (this is why I have to hope renperor has some narrative purpose rather than happening because lovers need to be separated and anti-hero needs to achieve what he wanted in 2nd act). I feel as if whatever potential her character had (and hopefully still has, pending IX) got smothered by layer upon layer of making her likable by everyone, which largely relied on negative characterization: she’s not helpless, she’s not too naive, not cynical, not too emotional, not too emotionless, not morally corruptible, not anything you’ve ever complained about regarding any SW character, not falling for the bad boy, not not not - and in the end it’s kinda difficult to say what Rey is like and while the goal of making her widely likable was achieved, it also made it almost impossible to view her as loveably flawed/annoying like the classic characters. And on top of all this is the matter of making her a nobody just like you!, as DLF appears to say with uncle Sam’s gesture (which also kinda assumes the existence of a Star Wars fan as some uniform entity? because if you identify with her, good for you, I just don’t understand why the franchise assumes I’ll identify with her by the grace of being a SW fan alone), because, as you excellently put it, the message here is that everyone can be chosen by God - which again, it’s not as if the saga ever contradicted this, so why the hell make a case of it? I can’t agree that it’s made into Rey’s flaw, though, imo her low birth only serves to further frame her as an oppressed virtue. And I definitely agree regarding too much of her growth being left off-screen, or before the story ever begins. The problem here isn’t even that it is left off-screen (it’s not as if we had huge insight into any of the pt or ot characters) but rather that her characterizations is left off-screen while being depicted as at least untypical (unique to put it bluntly) for her situation (same goes for Finn). A hopeful, kind person growing up on her on her own in slavery under a nicer name is a rarity and DLF makes a case for it being a rarity - and this sparks up curiosity in her past, as if market pandering to Re/sky wasn’t enough. So from this pov her un-reveal being frustrating isn’t just a case of not wanting to love her or her self only a potentially deeper psychological question getting answered with well, light.

I should add, Ben’s arc feels like the most spontaneous one (though Finn’s may yet be a masterpiece) and he’s the one to admit his fear of not living up to Vader’s legacy, because I think he’s the character serving as the creators’ vessel, more or less like Luke was Lucas’ avatar in ot. In his fear regarding Vader’s legacy one can feel Disney’s fear due to having bought popculture’s holy grail and not being entirely sure what to do with it. On this background, Rey (a literal scavenger of OT’s pieces) and rebels 2.0 repeatedly blessed by Leia come off as what DLF would want to be. And the result is that the character which was supposed to be Vader 2.0 proves the most original and surprising one, whereas “breaths of fresh air” come off as room aromatizers with “fresh” written on them.

And as far as the plot being bended into a pretzel and then disappearing up it’s own ass, well, a part of me is still hoping that taking virtually the same villains as before is a mythological-psychoanalitical metaphor of a nigredo repeating itself until the unconscious gets accepted by the conscious…. but, tbh, as the leaks flow this hope is withering.

[militant-holy-knight]

Benioff and Weiss Were Always Hacks: You Only Noticed Now

Or why you should be worried for the future Star Wars movies made by them

(Disclaimer: this blogpost contains spoilers for Game of Thrones)

With only two episodes left for the series to reach it’s conclusion and the announcement for future Star Wars movies in the horizon made by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss (henceforth referred to as D&D for simplicity sake), not many fans seem to be excited about it as they should due to the creative choices taken in regards to the final season of Game of Thrones. Speaking as a GoT fan, I used to enjoy the show a lot and I believe it reached it’s peak on Season 4 and started to go went downhill on Season 5. If D&D were in charge from the beginning what happened?

D&D’s job was always to adapt the book series by George R. R. Martin, which means any merit to the show’s writing can be attributed largely to Martin while D&D were only fit for it to make it work into a tv show - which is still laudable in it’s own right because there are things in the books that still wouldn’t translate too well into the show. In any case, they did their job well from Season 1 to Season 4 which adapted the first trilogy in the series. Even though there are still five books in total released at the time, Season 5 is where they started to run out of material to adapt because some storylines didn’t find their proper conclusion and they needed to come up with their own unique deviations.

Season 5 is considered by many fans to be the low point in the series because of it’s extremely low pacing and controversial liberties taken: the biggest ones have to be the Dorne subplot because that meant axing popular book character Arianne Martell, Stannis Baratheon turning irredeemable evil and paying with his life and Sansa’s marriage to Ramsay Snow leading to her rape, which is still a very hot button among the fandom to this day (and understandably so). Season 5 did have some moments like Hardhome which showed the strength of the true villain of the series, the Night King, the leader of the White Walker invasion who brings winter with him. He is the Thanos-like menace who is teased since the very start of the show with the very first scene opening with a White Walker killing some Night Watch’s rangers and warning us about the danger he represents.

Season 6 fixed some of these problems by giving a more dynamic pacing and build it up with the Battle of the Bastards as the climatic encounter instead of something completely anti-climatic like Season 5′s finale where Stannis Baratheon’s forces were liquidated by the Boltons offscreen. But still, it was an entire season wasted to fix another one’s problems and it still had some individual problems. 

And then Season 7 came along and it all went to waste. I wouldn’t say it was as bad as Season 5 because at least shit happened and it wasn’t boring, but it was still full of groan-worthy moments like trying to force some romance between Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen which doesn’t work because they have no chemistry and they are related by blood, curing Jorah Mormont who has been infected with a dangerous disease that will turn him into a snow zombie by simply cutting out the infected area, and of course lest we forget the Wight Hunt in Episode 6 “Beyond the Wall” which broke all suspension of disbelief. Lemme sum it up for you what happens in that episode so you can get the idea and let me put up a map so you can get it from reference.

The heroes come up with the idea to capture an Wight and bring it South to convince Cersei to from a truce.

The travel by boat to the Wall from their base on Dragonstone.

After reaching the Wall, they walk into the land beyond it to find a wight.

They find one and send one of their members back to ask reinforcements having to sprint a indeterminate distance.

The team gets surrounded by the Night King’s army in a frozen lake for a indeterminate amount of time.

The allies at the Wall send a raven back to Dragonstone requesting help.

Daenerys summons her dragons to fly to the land beyond the Wall to rescue the heroes.

They are fighting to the last against the advancing horde of the Night King just before Daenerys arrives in a triumphant moment to save them.

And all of this happens like... Within a hour apparently. Several days should have taken place between this exchange but time moves at the speed of the plot, but D&D seem to be relying on emotional torque to get viewers to ignore all internal logic and be mindblown by the crowning moments of awesome. And this is the core issue with their writing.

D&D write their scenes the same way they film sex scenes apparently, hoping that the emotional moments will make the audience be carried over. Thing is... I realized this after thinking up about many moments in the past. Hardhome was one such example in Season 5 to make up for its abhorrent dullness and even Season 6 wasn’t safe from this. For example, remember how Rickon Stark died just so he could provoke Jon Snow to act irrationally and spur him into conflict? Why didn’t Rickon run in zig-zag when Ramsay began firing arrows at him? Why did he run into a straight line? Did these writers not watch Prometheus to learn their lessons from it’s mistakes? This problem was carried over in Season 8 and amplified a lot in the Long Night. Many people pointed out the several military blunders made by the protagonists when fighting against the Night King’s army.

I could talk about the moronic choice to film everything in absolute darkness and make it impossible to see shit.

I could talk about how idiotic it was to waste your cavalry against the enemy bulwark.

I could talk about how they didn’t create trenches with tar or use fire for more effective manner against the undead.

But I’d rather talk about that moment.

Arya killing the Night King.

You know at first I was okay with that because:

I wasn’t being a fan of Jon Snow in a long time.

Arya wasn’t a Mary Sue, had skills that justified her, so I could buy it better.

But the more I thought about it, more I came to the realization that it was a wrong choice all along.

Arya never had any investment in killing the Night King. She was a character defined by a list of people she wanted to kill including the Freys, Cersei, Joffrey and others.

Arya was trained as an assassin yes... But her training in Season 5 and 6 was very lackluster. She spent some time doing menial works, impersonating some people and trying to spill some poison on someone’s drink. She never learned invisibility, teleportation or any other cool shit.

And most importantly... Melisandre predicting that Arya would shut down “blue eyes” way back when they met in Season 3. If she sensed she was always destined to kill the Night King why did she ever support Stannis? Why did she even support Jon Snow? She even referred to him as the Prince that was Promised. Some fans can try to spin this as much as they want, but it breaks the plot retroactively very hard.

The actress herself didn’t think she deserved it

Of course all of these things were ignored by a large part of the fanbase, more specifically the “woke” crowd because YAS QUEEN SLAY. Little did they know that the very next episode would force them to eat a real shit sandwich when “The Last of the Starks” seemed to turn the narrative against Daenerys Targaryen by turning her into the Mad Queen, killing her handmaiden Missandei and setting up Jon to be the next King of Westeros. Not helping matters is that a series of leaks not yet confirmed as of the time of writing were released prior to the episode (but I personally feel they were legitimate due to some specific things but that is not the point) which sent many Daenerys fans into panic mode.

Speaking as someone who really doesn’t like Daenerys Targaryen, I can actually sympathize with them at some level because this shift appears to be very sudden specially now that the authors favored her more until this very moment. Some viewers can argue that there were always signs like her burning the Tarlys for refusing to bend the knee, which I personally took issue with before but it never really came across as the sign of an insane ruler since she offered very valid rebuttals. It all seemed like the plot was tailored to take her side no matter what and I considered Dany a Mary Sue. But just because they seem to be turning her into a villain now, it doesn’t make me hate the story any less.

Now... I spent an inordinate amount of time bitching about Game of Thrones and if you are an Star Wars fan that doesn’t know anything about it, you might be lost to anything I am writing. Well I needed to give an proper context to both GoT and SW fans since those seem to overlap now and give you a warning because Star Wars seems to be more lost now than ever. D&D were never particularly good writers, they were incoherent about continuity, care more about spectacle over substance and seem to share a thing about subverting the audience’s expectations like a certain Ruin Johnson who succeeded in completely ruining a franchise like there was no tomorrow. The key difference between D&D and Ruin is that the duo doesn’t share the same flippant attitude or picking up fights with fans on Twitter - on the contrary, D&D understand the power of fanservice even if it means daggling the metaphorical shining keys in front of the audience. 

As we come close to Game of Thrones conclusion, I have a feeling that nobody will truly come out satisfied with it should the story take the direction that we are really dreading. I’ve seen interviews about how Emilia Clarke sounds really sad and deflated, seemed like she was really disappointed with how the show ended. Whatever happens, the blame can be laid on the feet of Benioff and Weiss for their frankly baffling creative decisions. This season has been disappointing through and through with two or three episodes being needlessly long and filler to booth and to make matters worse, it was supposed to end earlier than 10 episodes. Why did they need to rush it and yet fill the series with so much dead air?

Now can you imagine a Star Wars movie made by them? With all these things I listed? The next trilogy is already dated, we don't know if it's D&D or Ruin Johnson yet. We are talking about a couple of writers that have no sense of realistic scale, continuity or logic, but rely on cheap emotional tricks to have the audience invested until they begin thinking about it. I would laugh until I was sick if this season turns everyone against those two fuckwads that Disney changes their mind about putting them in charge. If the world was a just place, this is what would happen at least.

[fairytail-whathesays]

Why Levi Ackerman is Literally the Worst Character in Attack on Titan, Bar None

You don’t need context because there isn’t any, I’ve always thought this and now I get to tell you why.

01. He should be dead.

That’s not a random complaint about a fight scene gone wrong or some blatant flame-bait to piss people off. It’s a remark about Levi’s place in the story. When you have a character who is more skilled in the story than the main character, wiser than the main character, overall more capable than the main character and just as driven, and overall deserves the spotlight of “humanity’s hope” or whatnot more than the main character (and to an extent Levi actually does carry more of that title in-story than Eren), they tend to die off. There exist two separate tropes for getting rid of characters exactly like this (and although Levi isn’t a Mentor as such, he does get seen as a father figure later in the story by Eren). There’s a reason for that.

And that reason is, why have the main character(s) at all if you have this one? In order for your main character to shine, they can’t constantly be overshadowed. If you let the Advanced Elder (for the fact that we can’t use the Mentor here) stick around, they quickly start to overshadow those main chara--

--cters...

(That’s all official art, by the way. Pictured above: Levi being billed as part of the main cast despite supposedly being an ensemble character. Pictured below: Levi just straight-up replacing Armin and Mikasa as the third member of the main trio.)

That’s already a problem by itself, but is it a dealbreaking problem? Well, what I actually think is the dealbreaking problem is...

02. The author knows he should be dead and deliberately avoids it.

Isayama isn’t a dumbass. When I compare him to other authors I dislike, I make note of the fact that he at least can plan. Sort of. He is well aware of the fact that characters like Levi are typically killed off and took every route he could to avoid it. Once you realize this was happening, it becomes obvious and you wonder why you fell for it.

What purpose, ultimately, did Squad Levi (Petra, Auruo, Eld, Gunther) serve?

The answer is nothing. They exist to become friends with Eren for a little while, being his cool superiors and elders who can slay Titans better than he can, and teaching him cool things before being killed off to tug heartstrings: a very condensed form of the Mentor trope. They exist, in essentials, to die against the Female Titan in place of Levi. The author knew full well that this would ordinarily be the point where the character of Levi died, so he created an entire team of elites under him merely to divert attention from him and do it for him. 

Now with that in mind, what purpose, ultimately, did Squad Zakarius serve? What purpose does Mike Zakarius serve himself? None. They, just like Squad Levi, are there to die off when the story “really starts” to create the impression that a great and capable hero has fallen and now it’s up to the rookies to take up the mantle.

Except it isn’t, because Levi’s still around.

All that those characters were, were distractions. Isayama created them to die, and more specifically when it was time for someone to die to avoid having to do it to his favorites. When it finally did come time for the “stakes” to get super high in the Shiganshina War, his seeming match and ultimate opponent is built up, hyped up...before Isayama totally backpedaled and cheesed the fight because Levi dying was unacceptable.

I am not cool with entire characters and groups of characters being created merely to die in Levi’s place. That’s all those characters were--pointlessly sacrificed to spare him.

03. He’s a Sue.

Yeah. I said it. I actually took a mary sue test as Levi once, and you’d be shocked at the score I got.

I have two types of Sue that I can make a case for him being: Invincible Hero and Jerk Sue. I could also make a case for Sympathetic Sue which I’ll mention afterwards. Invincible Hero, as you’ll notice, isn’t a Sue trope on its own, but I don’t find that it needs to be: it leads into two Sue tropes, God Mode Sue and Boring Invincible Hero, both of which Levi is leaning on the border of.

Yeah, that sounds like Levi. 

Has Never Lost a Fight? Check.

The One Injury He Got? Check. It was the fault of interference in the fight.

He’s Just That Good? Check. I know you’ve heard at least two in-story descriptions of how Levi is just so damn good he can do anything. 

I remember when the Female Titan arc was just starting and Armin thought that Levi or Mikasa would definitely be able to take her out, before even seeing her abilities. And that’s exactly what happened.

Overshadowing the local Determinator? Check. Not only is Eren never going to match up to Mikasa, Mikasa herself is never going to match up to Levi.

We Don’t Buy the Dude Being In Mortal Danger? Check. 

No one bought Levi dying against the Beast Titan and Isayama proved them right.

And that?

Is bad.

Let’s be honest, after the Beast Titan fight, it was pretty clear Levi is immortal and nothing in-story is ever going to be able to threaten him. He took on the proclaimed “strongest Titan” and utterly trashed him in a completely one-sided match, then when exhausted and low on gas, had a horde of Titans sent after him to kill him, and he killed every single one without any injuries and still managed to chase after Zeke.

Face it, the only way Levi’s going to die or get seriously hurt (which I doubt happening in the first place) is if Isayama has a missile launched at him and he’s killed by it offscreen. Which at this point is unfortunately possible.

Jerk Sue?

That is also Levi in a nutshell. First thing’s first, Levi’s an ass. He routinely gets away with bullying the other characters in the story, and is allowed to get away with it and rarely if ever gets called out. And when it is, it’s ineffectual.

After he absolutely beats the shit out of Eren in that immortal trial scene, not only is it hand-waved by the author as unfortunate but necessary, but the one person to call him out on it is the person he regularly knocks unconscious and forcibly gives baths to. Levi routinely continues talking down to his associates and even his boss in a manner that would get him kicked out in any real-life military, no matter how good he was, and continues to bully the people under him, and is never made to change this behavior. He’s an asshole. 

Remember when he abused Historia into following his plan? Eren said that after she became queen, she should hit him and dare him to hit her back. And that happened. Except it’s not framed as Levi getting any comeuppance (because obviously, it doesn’t hurt). It’s “aha, look guys! She got away with hitting Levi!” not “Levi failed to get away with hitting her”.

I can’t stand a character that’s played up as an asshole that everyone just has to tolerate. It’s unrealistic in the extreme.

I said that I would make a case for Sympathetic Sue as well, and here goes. See that bit up there from Jerk Sue?

A Sympathetic Sue on TVTropes is, in essentials, a Sue that wallows in angst in far too unreal and overloaded a manner, no matter how otherwise justified it’d be. But rather, I think this variant is more what Levi is: an asshole that’s just so cool and invincible, and his Tragic Backstory™ is supposed to count as a counterbalance. “You can’t say he’s a perfect character! Look how tough he had it in his youth!”

Yeah, I’m not moved. Levi’s backstory with Farlan and Magnolia, and his hilariously abusive childhood under a murderer before that, aren’t there to make Levi a deep character or affect his thought processes in present day (beyond jokes about his height and cleanliness). They’re there to make you feel sorry for them and then they are promptly forgotten about. Once Kenny dies, Levi’s backstory stops mattering. It’s superficial.

Mikasa’s tragic backstory has present-day effects on her thoughts and actions: namely, her homicidal protectiveness towards Eren. Eren’s tragic backstory has present-day effects on his own thoughts and actions, namely his homicidal attitude towards any and all Titans and his drive to murder Reiner and Bertholdt. Levi’s is there for flavor and to offer a mild justification for why he’s Just That Good and that’s it.

So on top of being invincible to the point of boring and having other characters chopped so he can live, he’s also faux-deep.

I don’t understand how people ever liked this character, and I never will.

[reactingtosomething]

Reacting to Atomic Blonde

Suck It, Daredevil

The Setup: Charlize Theron was the best action star of 2015, and two years later she may have just reclaimed her crown, in the solo directing debut of former stunt coordinator David Leitch (half of the duo who directed John Wick and some second unit stuff on Captain America: Civil War, doing their part to save Hollywood action scenes from subpar ALL THE SHAKY CAM AND ALL THE CUTS Paul Greengrass imitation). 

Heralded by possibly the coolest trailer of the year -- at the very least, the coolest that didn’t have a House of Mouse effects budget -- and backed by a uniformly stellar supporting cast including Sofia Boutella and John Goodman, Theron’s also making a decent run at James Bond’s status as Most Dashing Lothario Assassin, because why not. (And not just for straight dudes.)

In short, this has too many of RtS’s favorite things not to be an obvious choice for a Reaction. SPOILERS for Atomic Blonde after the jump.

KRIS: I guess I’ll open with a Caroline Framke tweet

MIRI: Please do

KRIS: https://twitter.com/carolineframke/status/891158770117685248

MIRI: I was really hoping it would be that one

KRIS: (The RT:like ratio, as of now, is 146 to 1200)

MIRI: Omg

I may be one of those likes

MARCHAE: LOL

KRIS: RtS is definitely one of those likes

MIRI: Can't remember if I RTd

Update: I did RT

very proud of my lack of shame

KRIS: Although I guess stabbing is really the least of what she does to some of those guys

MIRI: Carry on

Right

But there Is definitely some stabbing

KRIS: So this wasn’t, like, EVERYthing I wanted/expected it to be, but the “long take” fight alone is worth the price of admission twice over

MARCHAE: Yeah she is incredibly hard core (and trust that was not in the source material so i was happy they def. gave her some swag)

did either of you get a chance to read the text it was based on

KRIS: I loved that it was basically telling both Daredevil and Birdman to go fuck themselves

No

MIRI: Hahahahahahha 

No I didn't

I'm not nearly the fight choreography conosieur that Kris is, but I was so fucking into this

(Wow spelled that so wrong autocorrect was stumped)

KRIS: I mean I did not have any reservations about any of the other fights, it was everything around the fights that was kind of uneven

MARCHAE: go on

KRIS: Not BAD, but uneven

MIRI: Say more

KRIS: Pacing felt weird sometimes?

This felt longer than its runtime

MARCHAE: (yes that is truth..>YES IT DID)

MIRI: Yeah, I can agree with that

KRIS: Maybe a little twistier, plot-wise, than was really justified, especially since it end-loaded the twists

MIRI: Yeah, the last few minutes were a bit of a mind fuck and not in a totally earned way

KRIS: The sound mixing was VERY interesting, but I wasn’t always sure it needed to be so showy

MIRI: This movie is showy down to its bones

and some ways that works better than others

KRIS: Although it did add to the disorientation

MARCHAE: (re the twists the text was similar in that way…)

KRIS: The sound mix I mean

Like going back and forth between having music in a scene be diegetic and not

I did like the way they used it in the bar where Lorraine meets Delphine though

MIRI: I feel like it was better directed, acted, and choreographed than it was written. Does that make sense?

KRIS: When you assume the REALLY LOUD CLUB MUSIC is diegetic but it cuts out really suddenly when the guy (was it Bremovych there?) offers a light

Yes

MIRI: Yeah, that moment was very nice

KRIS: But I feel like pacing often comes down to direction

MIRI: Fair

KRIS: All the performances are definitely great

MIRI: Seriously, all of them

MARCHAE: hmmm that’s interesting - I think that comes back to the writing - if the story has pacing problems - then that’s ultimately a structural problem with the story, no?

MIRI: I especially loved Lorraine’s German contact

KRIS: I think editing can have a lot to do with pacing too

MIRI: And obviously Theron, McAvoy, and Boutella

I think it can be any of the three, or a combo

MARCHAE: yeah… i thought about that as well @kris

MIRI: They all need to be good for it to work

KRIS: Did you feel like it at least played fair with the audience for most if not all of the twists?

MIRI: Yeah, I would say so. Things felt justified to me

KRIS: I felt like I got lost two or three or five times but at least some of those seemed to be deliberate and then I had “ohhhh” moments in act 3

MIRI: Hahahah which ones?

MARCHAE: Yeah, I think it is supposed to be a bit of a mystery  which is kind of nice

KRIS: God I don’t even know, there’s was a lot happening

But the one I’m still confused about is that I don’t remember what happened to the guy who killed Gascoin

MIRI: I was secretly hoping you’d name them all so I could refer to your superior memory

Ice pick to the brain, right?

KRIS: Oh, my mistake, it is Gasciogne

I’ll take your word for it

But there were several Angry Bearded Men

MIRI: I think that was the same angry bearded man

He had the list and was going to sell it

to the watchmaker man

MARCHAE: Oh yeah

MIRI: and Percival ice picked him because Gasciogne was his friend

KRIS: Oh man I totally thought Marton Csokas was playing Bakhtin but IMDB tells me I was wrong, I guess it was just two Angry Bearded Men

MARCHAE: HA!

MIRI: Shit, who was Bakhtin? Is that ice pick head?

KRIS: Yes

MIRI: I need to open the imdb page

Ok, Bremovych was the one who beat the guy in the warehouse, right? And smashed the boombox?

KRIS: Oh wow Gasciogne was [played by] the stunt coordinator [Sam Hargrave, who also doubled for Chris Evans in Captain America: Civil War]. Did not recognize him with his (not-angry) bread in the post-show interview

not-angry beard, not bread

And yes

MIRI: WHAAAAATTT???

KRIS: Bremovych was the boss

MIRI: He looks SO different with long hair and a beard

KRIS: He was EXTREMELY Angry

MIRI: Holy heck

Also, he grew that beard so fast!!!

KRIS: That scene could have ended sooner

MIRI: Yeah, wasn’t my favorite

KRIS: Not even for the brutality, which was partly offscreen, it was just one of the pacing things where I was like why is this happening

MIRI: Yeah, it dragged a little

And it wasn’t at all shiny

Like, even when things are grungy and bloody in the rest of it, it’s shiny

MARCHAE: so this is my last time brining up the text … it was very similar to me in that way

so similar that indeed some the dialogue came straight from it

MIRI: (not literally, like stylized)

Guys, go to Til Schweiger’s imdb page immediately

Not only is he a fox

KRIS: Like awkwardly long, you mean, Marchae?

MARCHAE: I wasn’t surprised to  see that it did have pacing issues - i honestly think that they thought they would make up for that with the action scenes.

MIRI: Apparently he’s Germany's best-known actor and also the country's most successful director

(He’s the watchmaker guy)

MARCHAE: @miri - WOW!

@kris what do you mean the text

KRIS: That scene in particular

MARCHAE: so here’s the thing… she doesn’t fight AT ALL in the text

in fact i think she fires a gun once

MIRI: WHAT

WHAAAATTTTTTTTT

That is a significant change

MARCHAE: and as far as other acts of violence it was literally like a few gun shots if i remember correctly

KRIS: Like is Bremovych’s introduction just panels and panels and panels of kicking noises and pained reaction shots?

MARCHAE: not even…

MIRI: And makes the fact that they stayed so close to the text in other ways fascinating

MARCHAE: it is incredibly slow and much of the action, similar to in the film would be in the last couple of dozen pages

MIRI: What?

MARCHAE: legitimately i believe they slayed her out made her tough because otherwise it would have been a historical drama

and that would have been an entirely different film

MIRI: Also because the director is a stunt guy, probably.

MARCHAE: it was not an excited graphic novel (GN)

exciting*

that’s why i thought it would be interesting to read and see the movie i was like wow this will be an awesome comic

and it is if you are interested in historical GN about russians ( I am not generally)

but I was expecting LOADS of fighting

nope

so to see that on the screen made the film 1000000 times more enjoyable

MIRI: Nice

I really really loved that the fight choreography wasn’t Sexy lady Fight Choreography

MARCHAE: but they definitely compensated for the other shortcomings which i thought was this weird desire to stay close to the source in terms of story but create a film that would be able to kind of catch some of the wind that was left behind by the other female centric films of the summer season

ok that’s all

YES

MIRI: They were deliberate about the fact that she was smaller than most of the guys, yes, but she fucking fought

She took hits

MARCHAE: i also love that she’s not young

or incredibly frail

MIRI: She was brutal and they were too and it was amazing

KRIS: Lorraine getting the shit kicked out of her was definitely the distinctive thing

MARCHAE: that made the back of my knee caps hurt

but she held her own and prevails

MIRI: I do have the tiniest quibble with the fact that they kept her unmarked from fights that totally would have bruised/scraped her up in the beginning because they needed her in sexy club outfits

But past that point they did a nice job of letting her be marked by the fights without being afraid to make her less pretty or whatever

KRIS: It gets you invested in the character AND gives Lorraine the character development/revelation of having the stronger will, as the stunt guy put it

I guess I assumed she was using makeup to cover stuff up early on?

MIRI: Eh, I don’t 100% buy that but it also doesn’t super bother me

MARCHAE: i don’t know that it registers with me much… i think because she’s so battered at the end …

doesn’t she soak in a tub of something at one point?

KRIS: I think the ice bath is just at the beginning, which is advanced in the timeline of the story

MIRI: Yes, in the beginning bookend she’s in her AMAZING giant ass tub filled with ice cubes

And she does something similar in Berlin

All of the tubs in this movie were giant and I want them

The Berlin time was where you got the cool underwater shot of her face in the neon light

KRIS: Oh right

MARCHAE: i just never quite figured out what it was that she was able to look mostly okay…

i thought it was medicinal but i guess it was just ice

MIRI: Well she did do a bunch of makeup after that

MARCHAE: also it was an incredible shot

MIRI: And it couldn’t hide everything

Which? Neon Berlin bath or opening London bath?

Both were cool but I’m assuming you meant the London one

MARCHAE: the blue one?

MIRI: The one they used in the trailers, where she then adds some of the ice to her drink?

MARCHAE: YES

MIRI: Yes! That was very cool!

With the perspective flip and all

M: And the bathtub is SO BIG

MARCHAE: it was so good

so i know you all mentioned earlier that it wasn’t shiny

KRIS: There was a lot of playing with perspective in the cinematography

MIRI: Only that warehouse scene

(re: not shiny)

MARCHAE: gotcha

MIRI: The rest totally was

which I mostly loved

And to Kris’s point--yes! Most of it very cool

MARCHAE: sorry i was just going to add that i thought it was a sexy looking film

which i suppose also goes to kris’ point about cinematography

MIRI: The one I think about most is the sexy one, actually--the cut from them making out in the club to the sex scene

(which again, they used in the trailers a lot)

(well, the red band ones anyway)

MARCHAE: i did like that

KRIS: I feel like there were also a lot of reflections

Like when she’s leaving Delphine’s apartment near the end

MIRI: Yes! God that one broke my heart

MARCHAE: (side note…there is no Delphine in the text)

KRIS: And for awhile it’s just two Lorraines and I was like “hmm this is unnecessary” and then you see Delphine

MIRI: well, Theron did say that she’d need a Bond girl if she ever played Bond

KRIS: I think having a female love interest was actually the writer’s idea

MARCHAE: OhHHHHH

MIRI: That makes me so happy

MARCHAE: yeah it had to be because it didn’t exist… it takes the place of another relationship or is ore of a composite

I liked it and I thought it made the character much more interesting and gave her more than we generally get

MIRI: As does the way Theron has addressed Lorraine’s bisexuality in interviews

I was really afraid that it would be a surface level portrayal of bisexuality

KRIS: “I remember sitting in a room one day thinking about how do you make this different from other spy movies,” Theron says. “It’s really hard. Who is going to be the love interest? Kurt, who’s a punk rock writer, suggested she falls in love with a woman.”

http://ew.com/movies/2017/04/26/charlize-theron-breaks-down-her-steamy-love-affair-in-atomic-blonde/

MARCHAE: Nice!

MIRI: I was afraid she would have an emotional connection to the dude and a purely sexual, over-sexualized connection with the girl

But it was not that at all

MARCHAE: no - i mad that delphine died and i think bugged by how she died as well

KRIS: But I also liked that the emotional connection wasn’t really just “whirlwind romance” but also ended up being about Lorraine mourning what being in “the game” does to people

MIRI: I am angry that Delphine had her damn headphones on when she knew someone might come and kill her

that was dumb

MARCHAE: **snaps fingers @miri and @kris**

MIRI: Kris, that’s a really good point and I agree

MARCHAE: i wished she’d been able to fight more i think. 

AND YES MIRI DUMMMBBBBBBBBB

KRIS: It at least didn’t feel like a fridging, though, in that Lorraine’s motivations weren’t really changed and she never had like a breakdown scene or anything

I think on some level there’s an expectation of a Sofia Boutella character Kicking All of the Ass 

but at least to me it was important to the story that she be green

MIRI: (btw that’s not to say there aren’t bi people who are bisexual and hetero or homoromantic or to cast shade on them! It’s just a very often a very stereotyped portrayal in media)

KRIS: She’s on her first assignment and “only been here for a year” vs. Percival, a station chief, having “gone native”

MIRI: Yeah, it did mostly work for the character

and I liked that she was green and in over her head

It made her a very nice foil to both Lorraine and Percival

KRIS: Especially with Lorraine being allll the way on the other end of the spectrum as a triple agent

MIRI: How old is McAvoy?

KRIS: 38

MARCHAE: born 1979

MIRI: Oh, he’s a bit older than I thought--he’s only 4 years younger than Theron

I thought he was more in the middle of her age and Boutella’s

KRIS: Boutella is also older than she looks

35

MIRI: Holy crap she is

born in 82

Wow, I would have said mid twenties

I’m so bad at ages

MARCHAE: I didn’t realize she was as old as she is!

KRIS: I do think mid 20s is what she’s playing here

MIRI: Yeah, seems like

Can we discuss the outfits? Because they are amazing

MARCHAE: OH MY GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

I turned to my friend and said i need to start dressing like all of these women! it was its own character and kind of a love letter to the era

MIRI: Lorraine’s commitment to GIANT sweaters/tops with no pants is AMAZING

MARCHAE: YESSS

YESSS

KRIS: (To go back for just a second, my objection to “whirlwind romance” definitely applies to couples of all configurations -- it’s the one thing that doesn’t totally land for me in Casino Royale)

MIRI: It says SO much about her

KRIS: I did like that as a consistent choice

MIRI: She’ll dress however she has to for work

But whenever she can be, she’s COMFY AS HELL

MARCHAE: and i appreciated it and she fights in a hoodie i think at one point

MIRI: I mean she still looks amazing, but no pants, giant shirt

Yes!

MARCHAE: although i didn’t love that she was perpetually in heels!

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

my feet hurt for her but that’s an aside

MIRI: Yeah, I feel like some flat ankle boots would have been better

MARCHAE: although am glad she can work it that way

MIRI: But I do believe that she would do it

KRIS: Yeah

MARCHAE: kudos to the women who can fight in heels

oh yeah all the marvel women seem to do it

KRIS: I also thought Theron was taller than me, but she’s the same height

MARCHAE: how tall is that?

so our readers have a frame of reference :)

KRIS: I think we’re not actually supposed to notice most of the Marvel heels though

I’m either 5-9 or 5-10

MIRI: Kris wants to remain mysterious, Marchae

or not

KRIS: IMDB lists her at 5-9 1/2

MARCHAE: LOLOLOLOL

miri i thought the same

(we aren’t?)

MIRI: Not sure. We might be supposed to just accept that that’s how superhero women look

Like Barbies, with their feet always arched

MARCHAE: interesting

KRIS: (I feel like they’re mostly to make Johansson and Smulders tall enough to make framing shots easier? I don’t know though)

MIRI: I think that’s definitely part of it, if not all

I’m just being snarky

KRIS: Gamora being the (infuriating) exception

MIRI: I like to play to my strengths 

Ughhhhhhhh readers, please refer to our Guardians Volume 2 reaction for more!

Percival’s sense of dress is batshit and amazing

He wears sweater vests as shirts

And his giant coat!

MARCHAE: LOLOL

KRIS: Hard to go wrong with a good giant coat

MARCHAE: (ok another book spoiler… Percival is an older man who’s always in a trench coat- ALWAYS)

MIRI: Whaaaaaat

Is he all wily and gone-native?

Does he drink Jack and hide things in his fake cast?

KRIS: I loved the fake cast

MIRI: It was brilliant

MARCHAE: well yes and no.. he has no cast at all he’s completely in tact because there was not a ton of violence and he is a bit what’s the word not aways nice

the fake cast was great!

MIRI: Does “a bit what’s the word not aways nice” mean he was a dick in Marchae-speak?

MARCHAE: LOLOLOLOLOLOL

KRIS: I know this wasn’t McAvoy’s first Fun Role but it was the first one I’ve seen him in

MARCHAE: yeah he kind of was

MIRI: He’s fun in First Class!

KRIS: I guess First Class-era Charles Xavier has a little fun but he pretty quickly has to do the Mentor thing

MIRI: Fair

KRIS: He’s fun until he gets his doctorate, basically

MARCHAE: I DID NOT REALIZE THAT WAS HIM IN ELENOR RIGBY

KRIS: Yep

MARCHAE: get the heck out

I liked him in Split

he’s kind of a good actor

KRIS: He rarely gets to do his own accent (Scottish)

MIRI: I LOVE his accent

MARCHAE: (HE WAS ALSO GNOMEO!!!)

KRIS: Oh he’s great, I’ve been a fan since pre-Chronicles of Narnia

MARCHAE: oh my word i am learning of all these movies i’ve loved him in and didn’t realize it was him

wow then i guess i Love him too

thanks gang

how cool!

MIRI: He’s amazing in Atonement

KRIS: I wonder if I should’ve seen Victor Frankenstein

Probably not, but still

MARCHAE: lol

KRIS: Does someone want to talk about the music?

MARCHAE: it was it’s own character and definitely a love letter to the 80s i appreciated it as a detail that was paid particular attention to in the film

MIRI: I like 99 Luftballoons

MARCHAE: and i sometimes watch people when i go to the movies which i know is weird, but you saw a lot of people dancing in their seats and lip singing to it

KRIS: Is “love letter” enough of a reason to do something though?

MIRI: Just in general

MARCHAE: it was cool

KRIS: I liked the use of covers

But maybe post-Baby Driver I’m a little oversaturated on the whole “music as a character” thing

MIRI: I mean, this whole movie is kind of a love letter to its aesthetics

KRIS: Also partly because the composer for this is the composer on the Guardians movies

Which do the same thing -- heavy, showy music supervision, totally forgettable original score

MARCHAE: I don’t know Kris - I think maybe it is sometimes because you interact with people on a different level

MIRI: Yeah, I couldn’t tell you a single thing about any of the original score

KRIS: Say more MM

MARCHAE: I think because i was very young during the time in which the film is set, but the music triggers memories of what was happening, so now in my mind i am going back saying -yes the Berlin wall - and not from something I learned in class - but instead at home as a kid - but it’s because the music triggered that more than the image necessarily… also because of the kind of tv i was watching as a kid so like the cartoons

KRIS: I will say that the near-oppressiveness of the soundtrack in most of the movie made the music-less long-take fight that much better for the contrast

MARCHAE: but then you ALSO now get to engage those people who maybe weren’t sold on the movie at least now excited about how it sounds and what will be next

KRIS: I guess that makes sense, but what does it have to do with how I interact with people?

MARCHAE: I think as a writer/director you are interacting with all of my senses (save smell but I’ll even argue that)

so i hear how it, what it makes me think of after the fact and why

am i dancing in my seat and saying thats my jam

or i loved it

i think that kind of thing

KRIS: Oh, so when you said “you interact with people on a different level” that was the general You, not You-Kris

?

MARCHAE: yeah general you

not you KM

sorry i should have been more clear

MIRI: The English language is imperfect

KRIS: I’m curious to see more movies from both David Leitch (this) and Chad Stahelski (the other John Wick director, who directed JW 2 solo)

Because I want to know if Stahelski is a better solo director or if there’s something else behind the pacing differences in this and JW2

I mean besides the obvious genre difference

MARCHAE: (aside number 554 from marchae - i need to watch JW and JW2 )

MIRI: I need to watch JW2

KRIS: I keep forgetting MM hasn’t seen the first one, especially ever since we realized she loves action movies

MIRI: I keep forgetting that amazing fact

❤️ 

KRIS: (WATCH HAYWIRE)

MIRI: (WE WILL AT SOME POINT I PROMISE)

KRIS: I feel like somehow we haven’t said enough about Charlize Theron

KRIS: (WE DON’T HAVE TO REACT TO IT I’m just saying)

MIRI: (ALSO I MIGHT FINALLY BE READY TO WATCH BLAICK SAILS)

MARCHAE: (I WILL)

MIRI: Let’s talk about Theron

Because she is AMAZING in this movie

KRIS: She definitely holds the whole thing together

If the performance had been a few notches less confident I would’ve gotten bored

I think

MARCHAE: she is brilliant

to go back to the text she gives that character so much LIFE

KRIS: I mean even just the button on the first interrogation sequence -- the pause before and the delivery of “Fuck”

MIRI: People laughed out loud at that moment

MARCHAE: oh yea

she has this kind of wit about her that i love and she’s coy which is awesome

and she freaking in her 40s

KRIS: That was one of the more successful uses of a dragged-out moment

50 is the new 40, not to be a cliche

MIRI: Are people saying that?

KRIS: Even more than John Wick this made me think of Banshee, which also has a 40-something female action lead (though she’s not THE lead)

MIRI: I mean I endorse it wholeheartedly

KRIS: I mean just in general with regard to __ is the new __

MARCHAE: LOL

MIRI: Between this and Proud Mary, I’m all in for movies about women old enough to be my aunties killing people with great skill

KRIS: I’m always going to prefer hand-to-hand to gunfights (and gunfights to car chases)

MARCHAE: And doing so unapologetically it’s about time we get to see women use their bodies in ways that are indicative of strength

i do love a good car chase that ends with a fiery crash

MIRI: @Marchae YESSSSSS YES YES

MARCHAE: those are cool

MIRI: @Kris, how did you feel about the Atomic Blonde car chase?

KRIS: It was fine, and it wasn’t really about the cars was it?

Unless I’m forgetting a car chase

Which I would believe

MIRI: Ah, so you mean you’re not into Baby Driver car chases (as much as gun fights, at least)

KRIS: Right

MIRI: No, it was more cars as blunt weapons and gun shields, not a drag race or anything

KRIS: BUT there is a fun little Charlize Theron car anecdote in the Anne Helen Petersen profile I posted earlier

MIRI: About her in the Woody Allen movie?

Oh, I’m mixing up movies from that profile

KRIS: ...I think I am forgetting a car chase

MARCHAE: HA!

MIRI: From Atomic Blonde?

MARCHAE: she also learned a lot of her own stunts

MIRI: Or something else?

KRIS: Yeah

MARCHAE: There were two

KRIS: When you said it I was just thinking of Percival chasing the car Lorraine had gotten into when she landed

Jesus Christ Kris

MARCHAE: YUP

MIRI: Ohhhh, I forgot about that one

MARCHAE: i was just typing that

with the shoe

MIRI: I was talking about the other one

K: I guess I blanked on it since it’s part of the oner and especially because we never leave the inside of Lorraine’s car 

KRIS: Start looking for the name 87 Eleven a lot more, I think

MIRI: I did like the shoe thing

KRIS: They’re the stunt/action design people

MIRI: They did damn good work

MARCHAE: they were really good!

KRIS: This and the John Wicks

Also a “Special Thanks” on Power Rangers?

MARCHAE: ok i get it… I’ll watch JW 😊

MIRI: Huh

Maybe they consulted

KRIS: Stephanie Beatriz started training there recently, not for a part but to get in shape for potentially being an action hero

MIRI: WHAT

KRIS: She’s posted a couple of “I’m dying” videos to her Instagram story

MIRI: she'd be good, too. She has dance training 

I need to watch more Instagram videos

KRIS: I feel like we’re running out of steam but we have to go back to the long fight

MIRI: Pause for a sec, grabbing my laundry

KRIS: I felt like a lot of the apartment fight was in the trailers so I was a smudge concerned the same would happen in the stairwell

While we wait, here’s Jessica Chastain punching the air:

https://twitter.com/jes_chastain/status/891493560993947648

MARCHAE: LOL

yes

they were both brilliant fight scenes!

KRIS: I absolutely will not accept The Huntsman as the only time Jessica Chastain gets to be an action hero

MARCHAE: she’d make an amazing superhero!!

KRIS: Especially because that was such a stunt-double-heavy character

She’s in talks to be in the next X-Men as a Space Empress

But I don’t think she’d get to do much fighting

MARCHAE: dang! i’d love to see her kick some doors down

MIRI: Ok I’m back!

And I fully support Chasten as action hero!

*Chastain

KRIS: So a bit of this fight is the very first thing most of the world saw of Atomic Blonde

Which obviously turned out to be the smartest possible trailer move

(Maybe “most” is an exaggeration)

MIRI: Right, but the sheer length of it is not something you understand from the trailer, which is nice

KRIS: Yeah, basically the trailer part ends before Spyglass gets his little comic beat

“Two more”

MIRI: Because it means you don’t lose the impact in the moment by showing it in the trailer

KRIS: And I was like “Aw, only two more?”

MIRI: Loved the Spyglass beats

KRIS: But then everyone just... kept... getting... back... up

MIRI: that one, and him doing the tape in the apartment

MARCHAE: RIGHT

MIRI: Yeah, she has the most will, but they all has a LOT

KRIS: So hang on, have either of you watched Daredevil?

MIRI: especially bleach blond guy with the neo nazi haircut

Key-face

KRIS: Or at least that fight? You know the one even if you haven’t seen it

MIRI: I have only watched part of the first season

Not that one, not

*no

MARCHAE: I starting watching part of the first season

MIRI: I’ve heard of the fight you mean

MARCHAE: ( I actually liked it and am not sure why I didn’t keep going)

KRIS: It’s the end of the second episode

MIRI: Same!

Oh, then maybe I did and I’m just blanking

huh

KRIS: We don’t need to watch it right now but the salient points are that it’s maybe still the best fight scene TV has ever had

And does a similar thing with exhaustion

MIRI: Oh, interesting

KRIS: But they tried to one-up themselves in season 2 with a longer, flashier oner

(Which incidentally also involved a staircase)

But without the exhaustion bit

MARCHAE: Nice!

MIRI: Staircases are good. They give new height differences

KRIS: And it’s Cool and all, but feels much emptier as an exercise than the first one, which is confined to one hallway

MARCHAE: I liked seeing them on the stairs there is also a new element of danger and stakes … like if i fall or get thrown over…

KRIS: Which is why this fight in Atomic Blonde felt almost like a direct response

MARCHAE: ohhhhhhh

KRIS: And specifically a Suck It, Daredevil

I mean I don’t know if it actually was

But I enjoyed thinking it

In that Daredevil s2 fight Matt just absolutely owns everyone who comes at him

Which can be cool

MARCHAE: now i really want to watch

KRIS: But the back-and-forth and the exhaustion justified the technical showiness in AB

MIRI: I liked that Lorraine was really good, but wasn’t Impossibly Better Than Everyone

KRIS: Also really liked the commitment to improvised weapons

MIRI: Key-face is super good too, she’s just got more will in the end

I love that

MARCHAE: Yeah that was brutal

MIRI: The hot plate!!!

KRIS: And the shot revealing the corkscrew, and the audience reaction to seeing the corkscrew

MIRI: WHY IS IT ALWAYS CORKSCREWS????

MARCHAE: I’m cringing thinking of it….

KRIS: I guess because you can hold them for punching?

MIRI: In the last calendar year, I have seen three movies where a woman stabs someone with a corkscrew

THREE

KRIS: What were the other two?

MARCHAE: they are small and compact

MIRI: The Girl on the Train

MARCHAE: OHHHHH yes

*cringing again*

MIRI: and Clinical, which is a Netflix movie the company I used to intern for produced

KRIS: Oh I haven’t seen but I guess there would have actually been wine in proximity

I read Clinical

MIRI: Yeah, the fight between her and the girl in the kitchen

Spoilers for both of those, I guess

KRIS: Yeah to go back to something Miri said it was a cool choice that the fighting in this wasn’t as stylized as in something like John Wick

Which made the choreography in a larger sense more creative

Because of the improvised weapons, the use of the locations, etc

MIRI: I really like how most of the movie is so stylized, but the fights were so gritty

KRIS: Whereas the locations in so many action movies are basically irrelevant

MIRI: I mean, obviously super choreographed because they’re not insane

MARCHAE: they felt authentic

i could not every fight in that way, but you looked at that and thought yup a person could actually do this… it was believable!

MIRI: Honestly, the lack of stunt doubles made this so much better

KRIS: OH

MIRI: Because it can feel that real

What?

KRIS: I really loved that Lorraine covers her face in the end of the apartment fight, when she’s outside before the last two cops arrive

And that I thought this was going to be a moment for a cut to a double

But then they hold the shot until she lowers her collar again

MIRI: Why did you love that?

KRIS: Just to have my expectation of a double subverted

MIRI: Ah, gotcha

KRIS: It felt VERY oh, here’s a good excuse to cut around her

And then it wasn’t, it really was just Lorraine protecting her identity

MIRI: I just didn’t know why she did it--she lowers it immediately after, so it doesn’t seem effective to keep her identity secret!

I guess from those two cops

Or anyone who might have been coming, but then no one did

MARCHAE: that’s what i thought, it also looked really cool, she’s a spy and has to just keep cover, she’s always on alert

KRIS: And of course the other thing about the realism of the fighting in this is the gender thing -- Natasha Romanoff is always kicking and spinning

MIRI: Which is a cool and valid fighting form

But it shouldn’t be ALL THE TIME

KRIS: And Charlize Theron’s legs are like a mile long so not just from gender but from Charlize Theron you would expect something similar

MIRI: I loved that Lorraine was a brawler

KRIS: And obviously men can kick and spin and that’s the point of like, Tae Kwon Do, but outside of Asian productions you don’t see it a lot in movies

MARCHAE: i am thinking and you really don’t, KM

KRIS: There’s so much throwing people into other things in this too, which is great

Just like, use every object and surface that’s harder than a fist

Because hand bones can break relatively easily

MIRI: I loved when they went through the film screen

MARCHAE: that’s what made it so gritty and brutal  - it’s like what you’d hope you’d do if an intruder were coming into your house

YES

KRIS: The movie they were watching there, Stalker, is one of Andy S’s favorites

I wonder if there was any significance to that choice

other than the year

MIRI: Of course it’s one of Flash’s faves

Flash/Andy was our screenwriting professor most committed to Art

I really loved the umbrella thing

KRIS: Yeah, I find Convenient Crowd Things hit or miss but this one worked for me

MARCHAE: it looked great too

KRIS: I guess because they’d established Merkel well in advance

MIRI: perhaps because it was an Engineered Crowd Thing

KRIS: Right, but even those

MIRI: I really did love Merkel

KRIS: Just a poor choice of words on my part

MIRI: Oh, gotcha

KRIS: I guess I mean that I bought Merkel having that level of influence

And usually I’m like, really? This would have taken a lot of logistics

MIRI: Yeah, I’m with you

KRIS: Also, it matters that it didn’t ultimately succeed

Because BETRAYAL

MIRI: Multi-layered betrayal!

MARCHAE: HA

it really was (please promise you’ll read the texxxttttt it’s just so awesome to see what was changed and what was kept the same)

MIRI: Now, why exactly was Percival trying to kill Lorraine? (Was he? She says so, but Spyglass makes more sense)

KRIS: I think Spyglass was definitely the main target but she’d have been a loose end, right?

MIRI: That makes sense

I got a little lost in the twists at the end

KRIS: Seriously

MIRI: And he knew she was Satchel

But not that she was a triple agent, of course

MARCHAE: all of these things i agree with

KRIS: Yeah, the Satchel thing is something I’d want to try to pay more attention to on a rewatch

Just a lot of moving parts and sibilants to keep track of

MIRI: Definitely

MARCHAE: and gathered from it… but i do want to rewatch because it was a lot

MIRI: Sibilants?

KRIS: S sounds? Did I use it wrong?

MIRI: No, that’s right! Just didn’t follow and thought it had a different meaning I didn’t know

But you meant names with s sounds, etc. Which there are a lot of

KRIS: And which there’s no good reason for

MIRI: True

MARCHAE: LOL

KRIS: Any other thoughts?

MIRI: I loved it

MARCHAE: READ THE BOOK!

KRIS: I had a brief thought about how nudity was shot

MIRI: Share it

KRIS: Which was just that there’s nudity when it makes sense but even in and around the sex scene the camera didn’t seem to be leering

Like there’s not active avoidance of nipples or anything but also no lingering on them

MIRI: Agreed, though the buzzfeed review I saw earlier mentions the camera leering on her legs a bit, but no more than it leers at punches or neon or anything

KRIS: I mean “showy, aestheticized sex” is also accurate (I do like Alison Willmore a lot as a critic)

MIRI:Your bench of critics is so deep and I love it

KRIS: And now I’m just watching this gif she included of people being thrown down that stairwell

MARCHAE: he does have a good variety

KRIS: I wonder how many actual cuts there were in that oner

MIRI: I’m thinking about how similar Lorraine and Percival actually are

in that they have such long-term false personas and they’re SO GOOD at maintaining them, but also not perfect

KRIS: (Now I want a crossover with The Americans)

MIRI: Also we have not discussed her scene with the Russians at the end

And we should because it was baller

The shot of the gun in the ice was great

KRIS: Yeah

MIRI: Like, we saw a decent amount of it in the trailer

MARCHAE: ohhhhh yessssss

MIRI: and yet is was still so effective

And that wig and the outfit were amazing

MARCHAE: she was also barefoot

KRIS: Right, the story context automatically makes it way more interesting

MARCHAE: ( i mean she was probably just over it after wearing heels the entire movie)

KRIS: I had more or less forgotten there was one more action scene left

MIRI: There’s so much in this movie

KRIS: And it’s the most stylized fight but still had that, I guess, un-rushed quality to it?

MARCHAE: there is a lot - i repeat again, they knew they had to to make this an action film! those scenes let you forgive so much

MIRI: Yeah, there never felt like much danger to her in that one, whereas there was in the others

KRIS: Lorraine wasn’t like a John Wick-level gun wizard

K: I might be wrong about this, actually, GUESS I’LL JUST HAVE TO REWATCH ALL THESE MOVIES

Yeah! I guess that’s it too, that she felt totally in control of it

MIRI: She knew exactly how it would play out

And that she’d get to go home soon

Also, can I just say how much I loved the “cocksucker” moment, and the end callback to it?

KRIS: YES

Surprisingly hilarious take on the “What?” “What?” conversation trope

MIRI: You can play the tape back

They did a good job letting there be comedic moments without shoehorning them in

KRIS: (This is minor and SUPER action-nerdy but I also appreciated Theron/Lorraine’s pistol handling when she wasn’t shooting -- how she folds her arms in to keep the barrel at the right height and orientation for having to quickly aim and shoot)

(You can tell if an action star did their homework by how often they keep their arms totally extended when holding a handgun)

K: Actually I think worse is the thing where they hold it by their face while pointing the barrel straight up

MIRI: I did not at all notice it, but that’s a cool detail!

(I’m now sitting on my bed holding out a finger gun in various positions to see what feels right)

KRIS: I don’t think we can do a better, more fitting ending line than the movie’s own

You want the honors?

MIRI: I’m honestly blanking on what it was! I’m so embarrassed!!!

KRIS: I’m glad it was convincing

Follow us on Twitter for steady retweets of even more critics Kris likes to namecheck, along with screenwriters and general entertainment reporting. Also for links to future Reactions, of course.

Next up: X-Men cartoons with a Guest Reactor. Unless Liz and Marchae get around to watching The Bold Type soon enough. (WATCH THE BOLD TYPE, LIZ AND MARCHAE.) 

[firebirdsdaughter]

Oh, yeah!...

... How could I forget!

I’ve got my tea... (well, not that tea, not yet)... Time to rewatch the Zi-O 22 raw for rambles!

In no order:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really don’t care, Kuro Woz.

In other news, Shiro Woz was actually weirdly tolerable this episode. I fully expect him to go back to being a manipulative bastard next week, though.

Oh god, I guess I have to get used to the guy, since we’re apparently keeping him. I still say bring back Woz.5. I loved him.

Even the suit actor is doing the head tilt.

I am now significantly more concerned about that shot in the opening of Sougo walking away from the other two...

When is Trinity coming out, again? The boys will have to be getting along by then...

Now, see, they’re alone, so Geiz is like ‘okay, I can admit to having feelings again.’

Well, I guess that question got answered by the end of the episode.

I think Junichiro wanted Sougo to deliver something, but Sougo got stuck in the mirror world (also some angel put the thing about Geiz freaking out when Sougo got pulled into the window on the TV Tropes Heartwarming page for Zi-O and I thank them so very, very much), so now he’s trying to get Geiz and Tsukuyomi to do it.

Geiz was gonna straight up henshin right in front of Junichiro if an enemy came out of the mirror, oh my god. XD

EVERYONE’S EXPRESSIONS IN THIS SCENE.

I just love how Geiz goes from ‘ready to fight it’ to ‘WTF?’ to ‘Oh yeah, he’s here’ to pretty much just checking out of the whole situation over the course of a minute or so.

Seriously, Gaku’s expressions in this scene were golden. Shirei’s, too.

I think that’s her name. I’m slowly learning their names but names are hard.

Geiz is like ‘you’re an idiot, fine, I’ll explain.’ I guess the reason is that their Rider Kicks have slightly different effects. I didn’t even think of that. Interesting.

Tsukuyomi is so frustrated by Geiz’s lack of self preservation and that is very valid of her.

Hm... Okay, so having given it some thought, I think part of Sougo’s muted reactions are that he’s one of those people who projects a cheery exterior all the time and bottles stuff up. So, like, when his ‘negative’ (so to speak--like sadness, pain, anger, all that stuff) emotions show even a little bit, it’s like the tip of the iceberg. Which isn’t healthy, but it’s a possible explanation. I still wish they had made him react even a little more at the end, but that’s just my opinion.

Geiz just freaking teleported to the door there.

Geiz feels bad bc he actually considered going through with Shiro Woz’s idea. And he probably feels bad about feeling bad about that, bc he’s a soldier, and soldiers are supposed to complete their mission no matter the cost.

I guess she’s looking at Sougo, but it feels like she’s looking right at me, and even though she’s pretty and I love her, that sort of thing always makes me uncomfortable. I can’t look real people in the eye, stop trying to make me look tv characters in the eye!

Aw! There’s something twistedly heartwarming about Mirror¡Sougo tormenting Sougo about his relationship w/ Geiz. Good drama.

Also, I remain alone on the casual SouGeiz raft and it is still funny. XD

Sou Okuno remains much too cute for me to be frightened of him in any capacity.

I really wanna know what that line said. Something about Geiz and Puma Zi-O, but I don’t know.

Well, Sougo just died. (by which I mean, he fell over)

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Shiro Woz being suspiciously tolerable. I’m sure he’ll be back to his usual manipulative jackass self next ep.

Aw! Tsukuyomi is breaking out the Hawk Droid now!

I keep getting this incredibly in depth Chinese State Farm ad and it’s hilarious.

Shiro Woz is dead now, too.

Honestly, he’s on the right track.

Yes, he is technically Kamen Rider Ryuki. By which we mean, he was Kamen Rider Ryuki, but then time got totally rewritten so that he wasn’t. Twice!

Not that I think he enjoyed it that much the first time... At leats he met Ron, though. Man, this is making me want to go back and watch Ryuki proper.

Lessons for the Mirror World: Don’t talk to your Mirror Self, it’s a bad idea. Also something about accepting yourself.

He looks different w/ short hair and older, but every now and then, he turns his head or makes a particular face, and it’s like ‘yeah, that’s him, that’s the boy.’

Shiro Woz died again.

I’m just gonna start assuming that Rider and Sentai weapons magically go back to their pocket dimension as soon s they’re thrown offscreen (thinks of all those times in Ex-Aid where you could literally hear them hitting the ground somewhere).

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

And thar he go. Goddamnit, Geiz.

Kudos to Okuno for pulling off as truly adorable and hilarious confused Mirror¡Sougo face for this whole scene. He’s just like ‘wth, dude?’

See, this is part of why I think Sougo’s the ‘hide all my ‘negative’ emotions’ kinda person. Bc he’s like ‘I’m really scared’ but he’s never shown it. Which isn’t healthy, sweetie, please talk to someone. Who... Isn’t your Mirror World self.

If they do do ‘balance of light and dark’ thing for Zi-O, I really hope they do a thing about Geiz and Tsukuyomi being his sort of ‘main anchors’ for the ‘light’ part. If that makes any sense.

Me when someone falls over in Toku ‘Whelp, he’s dead.’ Me when someone actually dies in Toku ‘Nah, he’s fine.’

WAGA KYUURANGERS.

Man, though, I hope they don’t remember the entirety of the time reset. Bc he’d have to remember dying, and she’d have to remember him dying in her arms. And they’re EIGHTEEN.

Shiro Woz.exe has stopped working.

Also, in that overhead shot, you can totally see Another Ryuga standing next to the tree before he respawns. XD ^^

Or maybe that’s a crew member. Either way. ^^ XD

Still wish they coulda given him more of a reaction, but I can justify it. He prefers to keep things in, and he probably guessed what the situation would be when he got there and was mentally preparing the whole way. Still wish we coulda had a small ‘mentally prepared but not quite ready for the real thing’ moment. I guess he does seem a little perturbed, but... Nrgh.

Spent several minutes rewatching this part, partially for angst lover reasons, and partially bc I was trying to see if I could see Gaku still breathing even though he’s playing dead. I actually didn’t notice any moments, but maybe someone else did.

God, I hope he didn’t hold his breath that whole time. Though who knows. Maybe he has the breath holding skills of an olympic swimmer.

I accidentally paused on a shot of Kuro Woz while Shiro Woz was flying into the scene to grab him and it looked kinda hilarious.

Keisuke be like ‘Hello, my suit actor!’ ^^ Poor boy over here talking to himself.

So what is going to happen w/ these two? Will the Wozes fuse? Will there be a third, true Woz? Will he not be a manipulative jerk-face? The questions are numerous.

Also, what’s the history between him and Geiz? I care more about it bc of Geiz than bc of Woz.

But also... Woz Fight!

CUTE. Makes one remember all the hijinks that went on at the office.

See? That’s Sougo reacting to something. :/

Now the other two are worried though, bc that’s a Puma Zi-O power. God, please, please don’t break up the Zi-Ot3. I’m putting my faith in you, dude who wrote Ninninger! I mean, you gave us Kinji and the Igasakis! (crap, that was the family name, right?) Admittedly, slightly lower stakes, but I’m counting on yooooooooouuuuuuu! *continues howling off into the distance for no reason*

But Geiz is straight up like ‘it’s my fault,’ the poor baby. Like. He’s not even blaming Sougo. He seems to be saying that he caused Sougo to make that choice. Bc the online translator says something like ‘led him’ to that ‘path’? Then gain, the online image translator also like to periodically translates things as ‘it’s all about sex’ and for the life of it cannot decide on what ‘Ouma Zi-O’ translate as. My favourite remains ‘the ostrich.’

Tsukuyomi apparently makes a note that one isn’t supposed to ‘play with time or someone’s life’ and now I’m like... About... Two or three of Sougou’s ‘steps’ towards becoming Puma Zi-O were bc he was trying to save Geiz? What if... What if the reason he became Puma Zi-O was that breaking the ‘rules’ of time does mess w/ your head and he kept using to to try and save Geiz from himself, or something... Like, wasn’t there some other time travel thing about the universe really trying to kill someone and someone else trying to prevent it? Like, coming back to my ‘die to prevent Puma Zi-O’ thing. If it’s something like that... Like, what if it seems like in the end that most sure way to prevent Puma Zi-O w/out killing Sougo is just letting Geiz die? I mean. He’d accept it in a heartbeat, I’m pretty sure, but if it does come to that, I’d prefer they found a third miracle option.

Of course, she could actually be saying something else entirely and I just went off on an aimless tangent.

But Geiz’s face during this talk... Like, I definitely think he's upset bc at this point he doesn’t want to kill Sougo at all anymore, and he also now feels like he’s responsible for destroying the future on one hand and starting the process that turned adorable little Sougo into Puma Zi-O on the other. My poor baby.

Also Tsukuyomi is talking directly at me again, and it is still making me uncomfortable!

And now they both stand there and look kinda sad.

Where the hell are they, anyway? Why’d they come back out here?

Shut up Kuro Woz, I don’t care.

Also, hi Kikai! ^^

And now for a completely clashing goofy promo!

I am still nervous, and the tea and shirts are ready to go, but one of the preview images looked like the boys having a normal conversation, so I’m still hedging my bets. Do right by me, Ninninger man! Not that I have anything to offer if you don’t, but, you know....

Okay, maybe I’ll buy something.

That’s all folks! Virtual lemon meringue pie for anyone who read all that nonsense. Or whatever type of pie you like. If you don’t like pie, cookies or cake or anything is fine.

Still hoping for good friendship drama. Love the Zi-Ot3, suspicious of how tolerable Shiro Woz was this ep. Suppose I’ll have to get used to him, since we're apparently keeping him. Now instilled w/ a desire to rewatch Ryuki.

Tea and shirts remain on standby.