Drinking too much makes you feel sick and weighed down so you gotta find that perfect knifes edge where your face is relaxed and not tense for once and you can just. Relax. But only at nighttime otherwise your ability to think would be impaired and you have to think to function at all but your thoughts attack you constantly and FEELINGS and the only way you can get some peace is lay in a chair watching a movie and drinking a little wine helps you just. Focus on that. World fade. Thanks. Don't come back
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Ok so uh this is kind of embarrassing for me but I'm questioning being objectum... I've always been posic (Perception of Object Sentience, Individuality, and Consciousness) bc I become very attached to objects, especially plushies and toys, consider them friends and family, etc
I had strong crushes and toys when I was a kid/tween, that faded as I became a teenager and I didn't experience it again until I was an adult, so I just figured it was a phase and didn't think much of it again...
Until I got that Gloomy Bear plush backpack I showed on here, Salmon, I uhhhhhh think I might have a crush on him lmao, maybe even be sexually attracted to him, but I have kind of a mental blockage from trauma/low sex drive/probably grey asexual so that's more complicated for me to figure out
I have a boyfriend of 5 years and Idk how I would bring this up or explain it to him, we're polyam, and Salmon is just a plushie, so I could just not disclose this to him at all, but I love him and would like to involve him in my personal life, so if Salmon ended up becoming my partner I'd ideally like to let him know about that...
Honestly idk why this is so embarrassing for me to discuss with friends and loved ones, I already told them I'm into monsters, generally identify as non human, have xenogenders, and a bunch of other weird shit going on, but idk having to admit I'm questioning my sexuality over a backpack just seems so ridiculous rvuneisfjudifisjjsjfoaz
Idk I guess for now I'll just enjoy Salmon's company and try not to worry about it
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If Spotify shuffle don't got me I know wind waker orchestrated by marcus hedges trend orchestra got me
Also they have BotW and TP now so I'm just set
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[ She moves through moonbeams slowly
She knows just how to hold me
And when her edges soften
Her body is my coffin ]
Sometimes I wonder how Chaewon has to look back on all of her choices that led her to her current path. Isn't it ironic how the same hands that used to heal and soothe, now are bruised and caked with blood? I feel like it'll hit her especially hard after a particularly rough cleansing ceremony she has to officiate. What would her past self think, if she knew this is how she would end up? Anyways, Love Me Dead by Ludo is such a Chaewon song.
Used ref. by KGA Art Class
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I can't believe I'm about to say this but fellas, I think I need to have a good cry
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GOD i wish that some of the very first messages that we're fed as kids wasn't that its bad to be fat or to gain weight it feels impossible to delete that from your brain especially when its really aggressively reinforced for the rest of your life -__- i get so embarrassed about the idea of meeting old friends from high school because I've gained weight since then. or like honestly anyone who I haven't seen since I was a teenager like I get insecure about seeing other family and stuff it makes my stomach twist. and like I know my mom doesn't like that I'm bigger now and I feel like that's a disappointment for her and it makes me feel sick whenever I see her. I don't know i wish I could just make it go away and just be happy with myself it feels like I've been living in this insecure haze since I was 19 and I just want to feel like my old self again without having this constant sickening insecurity. sigh
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...Why do I feel Sick all of a Sudden.
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calling out sick from work always makes me feel like shit mentally which blows because I know it's the best thing for me physically :/
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