#but ugh. feels good to write again
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in celebration of finally getting an actual start on the slasher au...here's the opening.
#everything subject to change with editing yadda yadda#but ugh. feels good to write again#whining wombat
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personal happiness or what the fuck ever
bonus:
#xmen#xmen comics#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#jeans here too but ssh#snap sketches#i havent posted anything in what feels like forever and i GUESS i have to remind people i do draw sometimes. whatever.#aka in my brain i have at LEAST a five-page doujin where this gets incredibly nsft but i dont have TIME for that these days do i#so for now we get just. these scribbles. ill be able to make something exemplary again someday i swear <- optimistic#i think im going to close my comms off for the rest of december once i get through the batch i have now#which ... doesnt sound hard since the amount i have will probably take me to the end of december anyway 💀#i just need everyone to believe me i have better visions for yaoifying issue 309 .... the opportunity is right there...#like wdym the dream sequence is gon end on a panel of erik's eyes as he reinforces the idea charles needs happiness like scott and jean's..#call up your ex. right now charles.#what got me peeved about this issue is i have no idea what color eriks outfit could be vjaeLVKEJARK its like.#is he wearing a lab coat over a suit .... i think thats the intention ... or maybe it is a trench coat....#idk shit for me to figure out if i ever get the time to explore this thing again#LIKE UGH IM SCREAMING i have Such Visions that i dont have time to execute and theyre killing me#maybe ill just write them down idfk <- trying to write fanfiction ends even worse for me than trying to draw#anyways. im gonna drive myself mad good night everyone#i have to go to a christmas party tomorrow night. later tonight. whatever.#BYE
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i want to write jason & natalia but head so scattered.....
#its not anything grand really#just a fic of them sitting & chatting on a rooftop. there's a breeze carrying a faint spray of rainwater after a thunderstorm has died down#they're watching the moon#natalia tucks one of jays curls behind his ear & cups his face & tells him she missed him#tells him shes glad he is alive#& jay can do nothing but blink back tears because when has anyone ever said that?#that theyre glad hes back? [except talia ofc]#he gets to hide his face in someone's neck like he's fifteen again & can be held#he gets to be loved again#fuuuuck dude talia mention just gave me the vision of writing jason introducing talia & natalia#im not sayin theyre besties but the three of them could definitely go out for some fancy dining & exchange notes on wine & how fucking#stupid bruce is 💗#truly believe they wouldnt want to discuss bruce at first but when they do natalia helps talia take that final step of letting her misplace#affection for him go. SAID AS A BRUTALIA SHIPPER BTW#idk i just think them being bittersweet divorcees is The Flavour but talia loves fiercely & deeply & will def need a hot second to truly le#go of the idea of being with him. shes extremely logical & ruthless ofc & will NAWT gaf abt some guy who doesnt treat her right#i KNOW but you must understand. they were deeply fond of each other. bruce however has the problem of wanting to fuck gotham fr#whereas talia is normal to an extent. so. yea she does take her time & looking at all the shit that jason went thru at his hands + nat's#support would be the last straw methinks. i don't think theyre capable of hating each other fully ever but.#she finally lets go.#wait where was i. JASON NATALIA & TALIA TRIO. RIGHT. ugh guysssss what do i doooo#i have a zine fic to complete but also that jay leaves the bats wip is haunting me + That One dick & jay fic that has me by the throat#& now this.#theres several other wips ofc but these are in the forefront of my mind.#feel like i should give up on all of these & resort to being an aftg girlie exclusively. i have had jean & neil thoughts for YEARS#the vindication i felt when the new trilogy explored their dynamic??? ethereal. unmatchedddd.#or i should just. stop writing 🙂↕️#can't be haunted by visions you don't even plan on bringing to fruition thumbs up emoji. thats a good plan#veering off into intrusive thoughts territory lolololololol
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the thoughts are returning (making a comic adaptation of the actor au alongside the actual writing)
#I. DO NOT NEED MORE ON MY PLATE. THIS ACTOR AU IS GONNA TAKE ME YEARS TO WRITE LIKE I NEED TO PRAY EVERY NIGHT THAT PEOPLE WILL STILL CARE#ABOUT IT/THEM TO STICK ALONGSIDE ME I CANNOT BE ADDING MORE#ESPECIALLY WHEN IM SO BUSY AS ISSSSSSSS. UGH. BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i mean the plus side is that i know i will never get tired of these guys and that au included. i will be in my seventies drawing these guys#I'M not going anywhere. but.......#my extremely lofty ambitions vs my compulsive deep rooted fear of time#but it's like. this au and these guys and everything on this blog has so much monumental importance to me#and even more monumental is that people get to feel the same Stuff i do about them. i need you all to hear 100% what i hear and see 100%#what i see................... okay wording it like that does not sound healthy LOL BUT#i grieve this a lot. that other people aren't able to feel the extent of the obsession that i do. and it's not because i'm like 'ONLY I KNO#THEM' or discrediting anyone else's passions absolutely not. but i'm just such an Extreme Case#these guys are everything everything on this blog is everything to me to the point that i did what i swore i'd never do and 'came out'#because i want people to experience it with me so bad..#and a comic is a good start. but also i've been saying for years i need to draw illustrations of what i've written and never have#but for reference i had started drawing a comic out of the first iteration of the actor au back in 2020 when that was a thing so this is#sort of picking back up on that#pros: motivation to draw. will help curate this vision i have. maybe more digestible to read. will help me be a better comic artist/#sequential artist/artist in general. maybe help me break out of my artistic paralysis#cons: I AM TOO BUSY. i am always starting and never finishing things. i would get stressed about non-existent deadlines just as i do with m#reviews and regular actor au chapter uploads. it's just so much to add on esp when we're at the beginning of the au as is and its taken me#years to write even that#yall it is genuinely too tough out here when you have too much passion and don't know what to do with it it's my best friend and my greates#enemy#somedays i'm like 'uuuugh everyone's gonna move past this it's just gonna be me again nobody will care about the actor au because i took to#long and also people are normal and cycle interests' i need to not worry about that!!!!!!!!!!#but i just have so many pig and duck thoughts and ideas but they're all mushed up into a bottleneck inside me and i struggle with getting#them out because there's just so much#i should maybe stick with my idea of doing fancy illustrations per chapter like i was gonna.. but UGHHHH#i don't know what i'm worried about. i love the pig and duck. i hope you do too#📝
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why do i love the conflict more than anything else . the misery . the incompatibility that spreads like oil slick . wanting so desperately for resolution that never comes . hmmm
#its the allure of like . mismatch btwn right person / wrong time . maybe in personal development and such#or wrong person / right time and trying 2 make it work but the circumstances are set 2 separate you#i think the guilt ford harbors over his relationship w fidds is good and i think hes had a lot of reflection . 30 yrs at least#but i dont rly care for like a . HELPP SRY IM LIKE talking to myself#i dont rly care ‘if’ they got back tgether in the end#fanon wise or whagever obviouslyy . no avrually emma-may kicking fidds out over the xmas thing its over HELPPPP#i feel like i always hve to clarify bc then theres that one guy whos like ‘smth smth you cant read . ooc loser .’idgaf . not gaffing today#i think mcguckets decision to forgive him is rly sweet And i do like the recognition of .. the whole incident being a misstep on both their#parts ykwim ? like ford was an ass for sureee but also mcgucket + memory gun was his own autonomous detriment#but#no i cant read the other tags i was writing i forgot where i was at#anyways im so obsessed w like . this being such an imperfect event with imperfect equals#ford theory and fidds the mechanics . which brw im also obsessed w how That is revered in canon .#but yeah like imperfect event imperfect people who shared an incredible connecfion in my freaking mind#that was ultimately squandered to fords pride and fidds reticence#ugh like i love the rise and fall i love the strenght of their connection generally corroding over time#its just such a cool motivator for both themselves and like its a history they share together and post weirdmageddon get to finally think a#knowing now what they didnt have the tools to recognize then#idk.^__^ they r so crazy to me . playing w them like dolls in my head#fiddleford mcgucket#stanford pines#gravity falls#every time i think ab this wrt every challeneged dynamic i think ab mars in the discord#talking ab x and y charas epic divorce arc#and im not even saying this to discredit Good relationships in media#bc those have a wealth of fun and interesting concepts or dynamics to dive into#its just something ab like . poetry of anger bro . and how love and hate can feel so similar and be borne from the same place#how one can transform into the other and back again due to . idk whatevee the hell theyve got going on^#prev post got me wishing we had more meat to the fallout#or that it was extended in content or scope . i want 2 see how they dealt with losing the other and then
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Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it 😔😔😔
(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)
((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle 😔 I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))
(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))
#i'm banned (self inflicted) from writing long fics until i finish this one i'm working on#and honestly I might keep the ban afterwards i am SO BAD at working on long fics. never finished one ever#oneshot guy thru and thru. but painfully. disastrously. i have so many long fic ideas...#anyway I like to think that they did become friends#and then not friends. and then friends again. and then not friends. and then-#and sometimes it was Peri's fault but a lot of the times it was Irep not feeling like he was allowed to be Peri's friend#and doing something to break it off#but Peri would keep trying to be his friend or Irep would realize that he still wants to be#but one day. Peri just gave up#he was tired of this back and forth. of never knowing if he was gonna be friends with this guy tomorrow or not#so he stopped trying. decided that if Irep wanted to be friends again HE would have to be the one to try and repair it#and also give him an apology maybe. not for breaking off the friendship again just for all the fucking murder attempts#(''if i die you die too dumbass-'')#unforch this happened to line up with Irep finally reconnecting with Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda again#and with them discouraging being friends with fairies + peri not trying to fix it this time... it. uh. kinda broke it off for good#('maybe not for good. maybe there's a chance. maybe Irep would-... ugh. it's not worth thinking about...')#Sammy's still friends with both of them though. It is Not Fun#gives Sammy my childhood experience of my two fighting friends wanting to sit with me at lunch but refusing to talk to each other#okay damn this post got long af. did not realize i had thought about this so much until i practically dropped a fic down here#anyway. actual tags? actual tags#fop#fairly oddparents#the fairly oddparents#peri fop#irep fop#peri fairywinkle-cosma#uh. do ppl search irep's full name... augh#irep anti-fairywinkle-anti-cosma#congrats elkniwirep your name fucking sucks. it's awful#a new wish
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Sometimes I get hope for unraveled but then I remember how much of an ick I got from keefe when reading unlocked and get sad again
#I hate the way he talked to fitz#I didnt enjoy his pov at all honestly it seemed to just point out all his flaws without acknowledging that they were flaws#I mean maybe it would get addressed in unraveled idk#it did have good moments I won’t deny#but I don’t like how there was so much praise out of Sophie as if she were perfect#she’s not perfect and that’s okay#it feels like he’s putting an expectation on her#he also seemed really cocky at the part where he was going i fix everything#I know he’s flawed and I love him for it#but reading from his pov didn’t hit for me#some parts I did like was him wanting to focus if the small victories I think that was sweet#it’s not completely bad I’m just dramatic about the cliffhanger on stellarune#but yeahhh#though the way KEEFE talked about fitz pissed me off cuz at that moment fitz seemed to have every good intention#also the way he doesn’t hesitate to announce emotions pisses me off#ugh I have such a love hate relationship with him and THSI series in general#I feel like over time I seem the liek the writing less and less :(#I wanna be 10 picking it up at the library for the first time again#kotlc#keeper of the lost cities#anti keefe sencen
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[Heaven’s Secret 1 spoilers.]
Tbh, I don’t understand why Sepha didn’t just send Malbonte - not Bont or Mal, Malbonte - down to Earth, as a fallen angel, to be with his parents? Like, he wouldn’t have ever been able to come back, right? So it’d ‘solve the threat.’
I mean, I guess the answer is just ‘plot,’ but it’s a boring answer. The little bit we got of Sepha, I got the impression he’s not even able to grasp his own cruelty—like he doesn’t try to be, yet still is, anyway. And I guess part of that makes sense, with him being an unbelievably ancient deity and all, but it doesn’t explain his actions about Malbonte, when Earth was right there.
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?????????
#romance club#heaven’s secret spoilers#rc sepha#rc spoilers#‘because plot’ is a boring answer#WHY did Sepha think that Sephamalum’s prison was a good idea was for a child to be sent to if he can’t stand the suffering of any children#AND even views Malbonte - not Bont or Mal but Malbonte himself - as one of HIS children?#make it make sense.#like this ancient deity is framed as worn by time to the point of almost entire indifference#unable to grasp his own cruelty#while still acting on his (limited but genuine) compassion#and yet he sent a child to Sephamalum - his ‘evil’ brother who he knows very well - for eternity?????#this 2 + 2 is not equaling 4. why.#like I know Sepha’s almost like a giant eons old toddler tired of being responsible for existence continuing and just wanting to be alone#while also feeling like he has to get involved if something’s really wrong because he’s not actually without compassion#but you can’t tell me someone THAT OLD (ntm who set up the plan with Lane although that’s a spin-off that came later so it doesn’t count)#couldn’t think of just sending Malbonte to Earth? that seems more in-character and I barely know this clueless god!#once again: the answer to this seemingly just being ‘because plot’ is just. annoying. it’s so bland. ugh.#like if Malbonte caused trouble on Earth THEN Sepha could’ve thought splitting him without memories ‘made sense’#(because he can’t grasp his own cruelty.)#but we KNOW Sepha believed in the good in him - even during their final battle he didn’t just kill him he tried to ‘help’ Malbonte -#so yeah. his actions make no sense with the established characterization for him except because the plot was already decided. 😒#I just hate when writers make a character and then don’t even write them in a way that fits with the facts THEY CHOSE about THEIR CHARACTER#like as a writer myself it kills me it burns it makes me wanna scream like a boiling tea kettle. ugh 😩
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I feel like a freaking backslider bc I was reading a fanfic that was smutty, but also plotty, and I skipped the smutty parts whenever I got to them, didn't even WANT to read them in fact, and was just reading the plot/character study, but still, even though I didn't read the sexual parts, I read a smutty fic. which means I'm like, a porn addict
#literally didn't even feel tempted to read the sexy parts. bc unlike some other cases last year. this time I was like ew. no thanks#the storyline and character dynamics and individual character study was good though. the writing was REALLY good.#but now I feel guilty. despite... actually making the correct choice. this is the same thing I do when I watch movies or TV#and I've never had an issue with myself over utilizing that ''skip 30 seconds'' button with a heavy hand#which is basically what I did reading this fic#ugh. anyway. I know logically I'm NOT backsliding. I've barely had an issue or temptation at all since I actually like#acknowledged that I had a sin issue I needed to deal with and then took steps to do so.#skimming a fanfic for the plot is not backsliding. once again: I do this with TV shows all the time and never feel convicted or guilty#anyway. I think mayhaps I'm Fragile#Lu rambles
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Canyons, Pt. 2
(Hehehe I did it, probably gonna need a part 3 now, still not on the scene I wanted. This has all been build up for like one moment. I just needed everyone in the right spot. Maybe this isn't a let down at all, I tried. I almost scrapped my original idea but eh. Here we are, enjoy.)
@quibble-auk
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Cometeater froze.
His plating hiked and tail snapped as he reared himself to the side as the first shot leapt, the smells washed over him as the soft thunk of the blast hissed past his head, silencer on the nose of the barrel keeping its scream quiet. Comet snarled, catching himself on the entrance of the cave. Fangs drawn, eyes dilating as his head screamed with danger.
He was met with a large dark bot, hunched in the cave-like structure and single eye glowing dangerously. It was wide with fear.
Comet almost sagged, he didn't get time to get far before he was snatched back from the deathly drop behind him. The gladiator moving faster than his large size would give away.
“Damn it Ino, did I hit you?” His voice was gruff and sharp with worry as that icy optic scanned Comet, large hands moving him so Dropmix could find the source of the yellow blood clinging to his hide.
“No-no I’m ok- What are you do-” He was interrupted by rocks crumbling as a white mech scrambled into view, his breaths loud and panting. “I heard a gunshot! I know what you said but,” The mech coated in dirt and grime paused, optics brightening in surprise. “Comet?”
Cometeater laughed a relieved choke, it was rough and dry. His voice scoured from the sand and dust but a laugh all the same. Limp and suddenly brimming with worry, he leaned into the hands holding him. Dropmix still had a firm grip on him, optic narrowing but not cruelly.
“I said to stay put for a reason,” it was a grumble that was closer to warm, but edged with a cool tone that spoke of Dropmix trying to keep himself together. Nerves fraying under his mask of calm, shaken from almost dealing a death blow to his own. Dropmix’s eye snapped back to the small organic in his hold, who smiled up at him. “and you are not fine, you're burnt to slag.” It was a rough growl as Dropmix checked the organic over once more, a solid scowl on his mouth.
“Happens when you wander in the midday sun, what are you doing this close to the front?” Comet winced as he spoke, throat dry from his quiet hours in the cybertronian high noon. Jeopardy, his orange decals faded and dingy quickly joined the larger medic in looking at Comet’s many burns and scorches, frowning in concern.
“These aren't sunburns Comet, primus you hit your head didn’t you?! The armor is cracked, you shouldn’t be out in the field!” His voice was sharp with nerves as he cupped Comet’s still energon stained face and stared wide eyed at the sizable crack in the pretender’s helm. Comet without any cross stitch of dignity pressed into the touch, eyes watering as he did so.
Their scents drowned out the smell of blood and heat, Cometeater relaxed, Dropmix slipping an arm to support him easier as he did so. “Don’t fraggin pass out Cometeater, you're covered in blood.” Rough concern was laced with a tender affection as Dropmix cradled the limp teen to his chest. Jeopardy moved closer with him, optics ticking off the multitude of cracks and burns. Scorches on his friend’s organic armor making a sickening pattern of blacks on the pale soft green.
A low content noise still rumbled in Comet’s chest, making Jeopardy soften even as his hands shook. Dropmix let out a deep chuff in response, tugging the small organic and medic closer to him. His other hand landed softly on Jeopardy, grounding him and providing comfort as Comet curled close to them.
The three sat for a moment, the untold stresses forgotten for just a moment, they were together again.
Comet’s scarf, much like himself was ratty and drenched, but they held him all the same. The absence had hurt all three of them, the worry like a pitted disease in their sparks. But they had him in their arms once more, those long nights and terrified seconds of seeing green armor on the battlefield. Bunched amongst the dead, every flash of gold had Dropmix and Jeopardy close to bolting. Never knowing where their smallest was, did not help their panicked screams when a shadow moved too slickly to be cybertronian.
Dropmix more than once had snatched Jeopardy out of shellfire, because he saw a splash of gold and rushed. Jeopardy himself would never admit it, those painful dark thoughts had been shoved deep. But he had been relieved everytime he found the dead soldiers not to be his dearest friend. Guilt still ate at his spark, clenching his stomach. He should never be thankful for another’s suffering, or death.
But he had been so overwhelmed with joy, that shaky sobbed joy that his worst fears were not true.
The youngest medic cradled his burnt wounded friend close, yes he was hurt and in pain. Worse for wear, but alive.
Not some body in a ditch for them to never find.
The gladiator above them, holding them both in strong armor clad arms, chuffed as Cometeater snuggled close. Dropmix, as he had so many times, anchored them as the younger creatures caught their thudding hearts and footing.
Eventually, Comet, ignoring the warm tears sliding down his cheeks, rubbed a bloody hand across his face and sniffed. Jeopardy caught the hand and let out a worried whirr at the sight of mangled flesh and claws. His own dull hands cradling the wounded paw, “Oh Comet, primus what happened to you?” His voice was chalky with worry, the absolute need to fix.
Cometeater was never one to explain his wounds, an old bone deep habit, chirped and bucked his striped helm under the other’s chin. “Nothin Jep, ‘m good.”
Dropmix releases a noise, a cross between a possessive growl and an annoyed grumble. Jeopardy let out an affronted string of clicks as he caught Comet’s other paw, which was just as shredded and abused.
“Let me- Nope let me see, you have dirt all in this.” His voice hit a kilter of medical professionalism, one he pulled out when trying to keep his stable ground. “You need to sit down, let me work on this. Primus Comet I can see your bones.”
The gladiator above them however had no want to release either of them here, he led what was his with a solid hand to their backs. “Before you pin him down Junior, lets get somewhere a bit safer.” Cometeater leaned into the rough knuckles that pressed comfortingly into his shoulders. It was a touch he had missed so badly. Dropmix noticed it with a tender chuff, letting his thumb trace a comforting circle.
Jeopardy nodded in agreement as his optics glanced back toward the entrance in which Comet had entered, nerves shining in the glass. Dropmix pressed him further, ushering them deeper into the tunnel.
Cometeater tiredly surveyed the rather large cave, Dropmix only having to lower his head slightly as they went. “Is this place some sort of safe house? I noticed it on my way in, the path got wider.”
Jeopardy, who had one of Comet’s injured hands still in his as they were herded deeper, glanced back up at Dropmix curiously.
Optic flashing, pistol within reach and searching every nook of the cave with every step, the midnight towering mech huffed and nodded. “Old places for medics to stowaway their patients, it's listed for all the caravan heads who make their way through the area. It's old as slag,” They passed a wider gaping mouth leading deeper into the canyon face, Jeopardy let out a nervous click at the sight of it. His lights clicked on, as Dropmix prodded him forward. Keeping the two youngsters firmly in front.
“But well hidden.”
Soon they reached a slight widening of the cave path, almost dome like. Comet stumbled then, his tired limbs begging to be given respite. Both medics snapped forward, the stumble hardly a bad step before their hands steadied him.
“Ok no more walking.” Jeopardy without a hint of hesitance slipped his small friend into his arms, while Dropmix perked back up to look around the dome.
Jeopardy settled Comet with as much gentleness as possible against one of the walls, said organic was still too giddy to be seeing the medic to even complain. The soft green male moved so he was closer, grinning brightly, Jeopardy returned the smile though it was shaky. Comet coated in blood and dust, was just as worrying with or without the fanged smile.
The medic tried to ignore the energon sticking to his friend’s mouth and jaw, no fear entered his mind, but the mental image was not pleasant. Dropmix’s optic scanned over them as he loomed, having returned from a round of the room. Cometeater gave him a soft smile, eyes lighting up. Dropmix only chuffed softly, lips twitching. “Happy fragger.” A blue bag plopped from his thick hands onto Jeopardy’s lap, “Make sure to disinfect those cracks in his shell Jeopardy..” His voice was even as he spoke, Jep nodding as that cold lit gaze swept over them fondly. Before Dropmix wandered off once more.
Comet eyed the bag, “Special something in there?” Jeopardy rolled his optics slightly, a fondness in the movement. Opening the bag he spoke almost bashfully, “Dropmix and I have tried to keep a medical kit for you with us, while we were out. Just in case.”
“Awe I get my own cute blue bag.” Touched, Comet tried to make himself sound teasing, though his eyes burned at the thought of them worrying for him. He tried another smile but it didn’t get far.
His past few weeks were catching up to him. Bone deep exhaustion was nibbling at his already smudged mind. Dropmix glanced back at the slightly odd tone, optic catching every labored movement and twitch. He frowned at the shine in the organic’s eyes.
Jeopardy noticed as well, optics locking onto the slight tremble of his voice and limbs. They widened at the glaze of tears.
“Yeah, couldn’t..not.” His own voice clicked, the sight of his friend so exhausted and hurt putting a lump in his throat. It never got easier, seeing him like this. Dropmix waited silently, standing guard to see how the older teen handled himself.
With well placed tenderness Jeopardy unpacked the bag and gestured for Comet’s torn hands. “Lemme see your hands, just hold still, this will sting.”
Jeopardy got to work with practiced movements, his medical coolness cinching the greife sharply in his throat. Cometeater did as he was told, leaning his back to rest on the cool wall.
Dropmix meandered through the hollow in the canyon’s cave walls, hand firmly on his pistol as he went. Comet watched with keen eyes as the mech inspected the entrance they had come from, searching for danger with every step and flick of that cold optic.
“Are you going to answer me?” Jep looked up from where he now worked on Comet’s helm, the needed medical supplies for the organic in Comet’s lap. “What?”
“Why are you and Dropmix so far from the outpost? This is way south of the front anway.”
His voice was concerned, but the organic’s eyes took on a protective tone. Wet and pitch between the gold irises, they flicked to where Dropmix watched his sons carefully. That blue optic catching him, snagging the deep gnawing worry before Comet avoided the gaze. A black pustule worry.
“We were called from the other front when most of the medics on the southern battles were summoned farther north, they had suffered heavy casualties. We came to help the aid stations who would be sending off wounded there, or going farther north. Emergency surgeries because they...Comet?”
Dropmix narrowed that cold eye, watching as the pretender frowned. His mouth in a cold set, blocking off what he did not want to float to the surface. Then he smiled, tail flicking with distress. “You shouldn’t go any farther north to assist..It's a death trap.”
Jeopardy froze and stared at his friend, slowly clenching his fists. “..What why not?” Dropmix said not a word as he struggled for a moment to read the organic, past his mask of ease.
“Its not a good idea. Thats all. I can’t tell you, but it would be better if you didn’t.” His tone was like steel, hard and cold. Not enough to hurt, enough to press and leave a mark. Cometeater couldn’t say why he didn’t want the last of his family wandering that far back to the blood bath. The plan might have been delayed, or have even more layers than he knew of. High ranking targets were among those forces Comet burned out of the dead city.
Jazz wanted that army dead.
Cometeater wasn’t going to lose his heart again. Not when it had almost killed him before.
Dropmix let out a low growl, one of thought and dislike. His optic flashed and locked with Comet’s. Like a hard grip that cold eye held his own, not painful, but protective and prying. Cometeater couldn't bear to lower his gaze this time, and allowed his claws to clench and tail to flick showing his anxiety.
Dropmix tilted his helm, as Jeopardy murmured worriedly not knowing or understanding the silent conversation. Cool and edging on anger the eye narrowed.
Comet’s response to the tilt was a twitch, his left claw tapping an affirmative. He was given a frown, one that spoke of distaste and disgust, but not directed at the organic. No, Dropmix slunk forward in answer to Comet’s anxious frown as Jeopardy continued to mumble about why it wouldn’t be right for them to just ignore the summons.
“We were called because people could be getting hurt, it's our job to help them! We can't, we can't just ignore it because it's dangerous..”
Dropmix loomed now, in that comforting way he always seemed to. He landed on the rock ground beside them with a puff and a creak, which had Jeopardy’s overall and atmospheric concern doubling.
The gladiator gave a soft noise to defend against the worry, a titan in comparison to the youngest of the three, who watched his guardian with a slight hope in his chest.
“Right Dropmix? We can't just abandon them!” Dropmix glanced over the wounds now bandaged and sewn on the organic beside him as Jeopardy watched anxiously. Wherever Comet had come from hadn’t been safe, not that it ever is. Dropmix blinked and allowed the wash of music to drown his rage once more.
“It would be better if we tried to get back to the outpost, or find an aid station farther back. Going to the front to get ourselves blown to bits won't save anyone,” Dropmix caught the slight downturn of Comet’s practiced resting face, and moved a large hand to gently pull him to his side, “large batches of wounded will need more than quick fixes that they get at the front, it's no use if no one is at the aid stations or operating rooms to receive them.” Metered in a gentle grounded tone reserved for those in that cave alone, the statement rang and bounced in the cool air.
Jeopardy being the only creature in that cave with more heart, gawked. “ If the higher ups sent for us that means they need us, that means- Jep please.”
The younger medic paused at the murmur, his protective instincts clicking onto the broken scratchy voice of the younger teen. Comet had curled into Dropmix’s side, one of the gladiator’s large arms supporting the exhausted organic.
Dropmix glanced down, shifting so Comet would lean into him more, maybe coax him to relax. The stiffness in his green frame was obvious and painful to them all.
Jeopardy caught the steel in his friend’s eyes, the worry. Deep within those pools of pitch sat that twinge of pain he had seen for years now. That fear of loss. It was stitched into Comet’s muscles and branded into his bones, Jeopardy had seen the fear go away for a while. Peter out and be replaced by a trust that warmed him to his core.
But it would rear its head again and again. Now Comet looked at him as though he was willing to drag him back away from the frontlines, that fear forged by gas leaks and burning cargo planes.
Jep leaned back with a click, his guilt at the very idea making him tap the thin plating of his thighs in thought. He could save so many, he knows he could. What was the point of being what he was if he didn’t help them? Innocent mechs would die, yet he hesitated to argue.
Beyond the fear in Comet’s face was a knowing look, haunted and tired. He knew what would hit those forces. Comet himself, from the way those bandaged claws clenched, had probably played a part in it.
Cometeater saw the moment it clicked, those wet eyes lowered to stare down at his hands.
Which made something in Jeopardy twist.
Choices like this he didn't like making, ever. Then the idea of Comet, sweet grinning Cometeater, being a cog in a blood bath made him wince. He knew he was, he knew Comet was violent and vicious by nature. But it didn’t hurt him any less.
The idea of hurting Comet by going to that front though, stung more.
Dropmix didn’t try to smooth the emotions with a well oiled smile, he instead offered his other arm without much thought. The mech also held Cometeater closer, forcing him to catch his eye once more. Jeopardy still flooded with a strange cocktail of worry and guilt slid to tuck himself into the heavily armored mech’s side.
Baby blue optics glanced at Comet, at the ratcheted fear and slumped guilt. He reached a hand and gently took Cometeater’s, across Dropmix’s chest he offered a tender reassurance that he loved him. He was there, all the same.
Cometeater squeezed his hand and rested his face on their guardian’s chest, eyes glimmering with soft apologies.
Jeopardy softened and ran a thumb along the bandages, mind turning the injuries over and over again. The cracked helm, deep burns and tear stains. Dropmix moved to gently cradle Comet’s injured head, supporting the smaller and subtly easing the tension. Cometeater melted into the touches and his eyes flickered with exhaustion.
The sight of his friend in such a state had Jeopardy whirring quietly, the very notion of heading back towards the front now the last thing the medic wanted to do. Jeopardy needed to get Comet somewhere safe. Within the smaller medic something steeled, it clicked and hung.
His internal comms clicked as Dropmix guided Jeopardy’s helm to rest on his shoulder.
: How bad was his head?
Jeopardy winced and cuddled closer, allowing himself to be cradled.
: He has a concussion, that outer shell is cracked and he’s lucky to not have an infection by now. That and all his other lacerations.
He kept his tone neutral, or tried to. Dropmix stayed silent, glancing around the cave once more for threats before looking down at the now sleeping Cometeater.
:Comet doesn't need to be out on the field Jeopardy, he will never say it. But he can’t stand more heat like this.
It wasn't an accusation, or a belittling of Jeopardy’s intelligence. A push at most. Dropmix working on not just carrying his two charges back to safety, giving Jeopardy the illusion of choice even. Though snakey, he was right.
:I know…. How big of a part do you..Think he played? Those casualty counts were massive.
Dropmix shifted to listen for a moment, before shrugging. Feigning calm when within his anger had begun to boil at the mention of Comet’s dangerous flesh burning trade.
: Who knows, it was big enough that his whole fragging body got singed.
Dropmix clenched his jaw tightly at the thought, his blunt teeth grinding.
Jeopardy frowned and sighed, his large hand still holding Comet’s.
:We are going back towards home aren't we?
Dropmix dropped his gaze down at the younger dirt coated medic, and nodded. A slow nod dripping with beaten down rage.
:Go to sleep Jeopardy, I’ll take care of it.
#concepts#transformers#transformer oc#writing#transformers writing#Dropmix#Jeopardy#Maybe everyone wasn't in their heads too much#I feel like its a bit muddy for Jep#Ugh I may need to trim it#Ill read it again later and see#Custody au#blue comet#cometeater#Maybe this is as good as you hoped#I kept working on this on and off#It just kept getting longer#Jep and Dropmix are not mine!#I just kidnap them at times#angst#angst with comfort#I guess#Im stalling now#Throwing this into the void lessgo
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#ngl I think it’s the fact that I slept like shit these past few days#but ugh I just am valuing again my place ok tumblr#really glad for the people who interact with me daily but idk#I feel silly and stupid and not wanted#I hate hate posting here what to seem like good writing and put it in the voice#Because people can’t be arsed to give a fuck or act like they are too good for you#I will probably delete this when I sleep better but idk#I hate tumblr so much#like it used to be a community but now it’s literally you write what it’s popular or you are on your own
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#tag talk#ayn rand really loves to go off about how charity and alms are bad and terrible. but once again. altruism is just an emotional exchange.#if helping someone for free makes me feel good then I'm literally benefiting from it.#giving that dude six bucks for his pharmacy copay made me feel good. it wasn't charity of obligation it was my own “rational” choice.#she seems to not understand the concept of people deriving pleasure from kindness. and so she writes it off as irrational and dumb.#please miss rand why are you so blind to such a fundamental truth about how humans operate on a fundamental basis.#this is shit I struggled to understand when I was little. so I feel a certain kinship to her ideology. it's a familiar struggle against#against this confusing idea that other people engage in social interplay that you are blind to and excluded from.#I remember verbalizing to my brother in high school that he would have to talk straight with me not play word games because i don't get it#ironically enough he's autistic about social interaction and communication like I am but in a wildly different way from me.#he loves the game of social jockeying and subtle innuendo and dancing around a topic and playing with it.#whereas I'm very bad at that and love approaching everything head-on and restating everything ten times to avoid misconstruing anything.#it's funny that in this world where she valorizes the noble autist she includes absolutely no history or politics autists.#she makes this claim that there are noble moral people who stand by their total refusal to play the political game.#and then there are stupid lazy immoral people who's only means of gaining anything is to manufacture political power over the capitalists#and anyone who engages in activity that she personally does not understand or condone is automatically degenerate and immoral.#so we arrive at the natural conclusion that to give a man something he has not earned is inherently evil and vile#ignore the fact that the noble capitalists are constantly giving each other favors and investments that they haven't yet “earned”#she's just. she's so excessively binary in her worldview and immediately condemns anyone who dares to diverge from it whatsoever.#so far the two people who were taken in by the falsehoods of the “bad philosophy” both repent and then immediately proceed to die.#because ayn rand seemingly can't accept the nuance of someone being allowed to change their mind about something without being killed for it#ugh she's so frustrating I want to travel back in time and hit her with a wrench
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I talk about Victor and Eli a lot but like. I wanna take a minute to talk about Stell. Mostly bc I'm thinking of my fic rn and how helpless he is to his situation despite being the director of EON. He's supposed to be in charge of the entire operation and yet there are constantly things he either has no knowledge of or no control over. And that's So interesting to me
#stell isnt helpless by any means but he also has very little control over his own operation#he wants to do what he can to protect the public from dangerous people while also not bringing harm to anyone he doesnt have to#and yet hes constantly undermined and pressured by the board of directors into going against his own morals and instincts#and hes just such a character dude#i loved writing the Eli manipulation scene because it shows just how powerless Stell feels in his own operation#and how Eli uses that to get what he wants#like in canon but under different circumstances#unfortunately hes probably not gonna appear again for a good while if ever#but ugh hes such an interesting character#hes clearly against what happened to Eli with Dr Haverty#but he thinks its okay to keep all EOs in cages forever#he doesnt want violence but hes pushed into it at every turn#he just wants to have some agency#vicious ve schwab#director stell#vengeful ve schwab#villains series#vicious#vengeful#villains duology#im talking about my time travel fic but also about canon
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FINALLY

forgot kiriharas madness. my bad. he's very forgettable LOL
#i spent 2 days trying to get this cg btw#rei is my favorite#towa too ig? yeah he's very interesting alright#fujieda is probably the one i cared the least about but that's cuz his route is more of a towa route lowkey#i listened to some of his drama cd however and he was nice or whatever... goodjob fujieda#ill write more about my thoughts bcuz i have a lot but sakakis secret request in reis route is absolutely evil with true route in mind#slow damage#tbh i was most interested in towas story than any of the li's or. couples in general. did not care#i like reitowa in theory and fujitowa too ig.. my feelings on madarame are mixed i get why towa stays with him but errr#anyway SHUTTING MY MOUTH or stopping my typing? very enjoyable ~90 hours of my life. yes im slow as shit#btw i do like madarame. i absolutely hated him during his route but something struck me yesterday and now i like him for whatever reason#planning on replaying his route to form more coherent thoughts but he did teach towa to reclaim his autonomy again#(very questionably lolll this is why my thoughts are mixed but idt hes good for towa in general tbh)#taku doesn't deserve towa either he reminds me of that guy from clinical hours they look the same too ugh#actually towa is my favorite probably i think about him the most i just get more excited when rei is on screen#idk ?? ? ? ? i like the whole cast villains and all. except toono he was tacky as hell icl#i have a tags rambling problem fuck
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ngl I have such a love/hate relationship with the fate franchise
#mostly cuz of how they write and design the female characters#...they could not get more anime#like it was bad enough before fgo came out but after???#hoooooo boy#then cuz im a history and myth nerd the way they read and adapt some of the myths and stories#man is it so bad at times#but then again i also love the series#for the frankly insanely awesome concept#you're telling me we're gonna summon heroes from myth and legend into the modern world???#and make them fight to the death??#you're telling me napoleon vs heracles can be a thing????#sign me the fuck up#and the way that type of idea lends itself perfectly to writing a sort of modern day greek tragedy???#it's just peak#then it has to go and be all anime#ugh#also when im talking about the writers fucking up the mythos of characters i dont mean stuff like king arthur being a girl#(tho to be frank it opens up a can of worms regarding everything mordred related that i just wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole)#im talking about stuff like the absolut bullshittery that is gilgamesh actually somehow getting the herb of immortality#and using it to turn into a kid whenever he feels like it#THE WHOLE GODDAMN POINT OF GILGAMESH'S JOURNEY IN THE MYTH IS THAT SEARCHING FOR IMMORTALITY IS POINTLESS!!!#it's right there in the text!!!!!#but they shit all over that stuff all for what basically amounts to a gag!!#it just breaks my heart cuz it coukd be so good!!!#like legitimately good!!#ugh im just gonna stop now#fate franchise#general fate rant i guess#fate stuff#fate series
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Wonder Woman #12
Variant Cover by Julian Totino Tedesco
#im in a hating on the sword + shield mood today but i like the gravity of this cover#shes going to war but its a solemn affair. she understands the consequences and what is about to happen and is saddened by the necessity#that calls for it#imo the best cover for this issue#like the fornés one looks cool as FUCK im not going to lie to you all. holy shit. but her not having the lasso there and instead having the#massive sword and shield unfortunately pisses me the fuck off. so i cant endorse it as diana. even though its fucking insane to look at.#hot damn.#the sampere cover looks rlly good this time too. its a simple fact that his art is always fire though even when the writing and events#depicted make me mad#at least the sampere cover has diana with her lasso in the absolute power suit UNLIKE SOME PPL (dan mora)#and uh the less we say abt the other covers the better. especially (mainly) the swimsuit one. bc what the fuck.#why are we doing swimsuit variants again and also diana doesnt even look good in it ugh#diana of themyscira#ignore the tags its mostly me complaining lets just talk abt how i like this cover#wonder woman#still feel the aversion to the sword/shield convo esp bc im in a mood abt comics atm but i like the gravitas#shes heading to battle but mourns that there needs to be one in the first place
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