#but ultimately at the end of the day there is 1 truth and its that whoever's reading this is hot :3

[eggybubblegum]

18, for the questions hehe :3

yeah! ghosts are pretty cool and i like to think about being able to fuck with people after i die :3

[burst-of-iridescent]

South Asian and Hindu Influences in ATLA (Part 2)

disclaimer: i was raised culturally and religiously hindu, and though i've tried to do my research for this post and pair it with my own cultural knowledge, i'm not an expert on hinduism by any means. should i mess up, please let me know.

please also be aware that many of the concepts discussed in this post overlap heavily with religions such as buddhism and jainism, which might have different interpretations and representations. as i'm not from those religions or cultures, i don't want to speak on them, but if anyone with that knowledge wishes to add on, please feel free.

Part 1

In the previous post, I discussed some of the things ATLA got right in its depictions of desi and hindu cultures. unfortunately, they also got plenty of things wrong - often in ways that leaned towards racist caricatures - so let's break them down, starting with...

Guru Pathik

both the word "guru" and name "pathik" come from sanskrit. pathik means "traveler" or "he who knows the way" while guru is a term for a guide or mentor, similar to a teacher.

gurus were responsible for the very first education systems in ancient india, setting up institutions called gurukuls. students, referred to as disciples, would often spend years living with and learning from their gurus in these gurukuls, studying vedic and buddhist texts, philosophy, music and even martial arts.

however, their learning was not limited merely to academic study, as gurus were also responsible for guiding the spiritual evolution of their disciples. it was common for disciples to meditate, practice yoga, fast for days or weeks, and complete mundane household chores every day in order to instill them with self-discipline and help them achieve enlightenment and spiritual awareness. the relationship between a guru and his disciple was considered a sacred, holy bond, far exceeding that of a mere teacher and student.

aang's training with guru pathik mirrors some of these elements. similar to real gurus, pathik takes on the role of aang's spiritual mentor. he guides aang in unblocking his chakras and mastering the avatar state through meditation, fasting, and self-reflection - all of which are practices that would have likely been encouraged in disciples by their gurus.

pathik's design also takes inspiration from sadhus, holy men who renounced their worldly ties to follow a path of spiritual discipline. the guru's simple, nondescript clothing and hair are reflective of the ascetic lifestyle sadhus are expected to lead, giving up material belongings and desires in order to achieve spiritual enlightenment and, ultimately, liberation from the reincarnation cycle.

unfortunately, this is where the respectful references end because everything else about guru pathik was insensitive at best and stereotypical at worst.

it is extremely distasteful that the guru speaks with an overexaggerated indian accent, even though the iranian-indian actor who plays him has a naturally british accent. why not just hire an actual indian voice actor if the intention was to make pathik sound authentic? besides, i doubt authenticity was the sole intention, given that the purposeful distortion of indian accents was a common racist trope played for comedy in early 2000s children's media (see: phineas and ferb, diary of a wimpy kid, jessie... the list goes on).

furthermore, while pathik is presented a wise and respected figure within this episode, his next (and last) appearance in the show is entirely the opposite.

in the episode nightmares and daydreams, pathik appears in aang's nightmare with six hands, holding what appears to be a veena (a classical indian music instrument). this references the iconography of the hindu deity Saraswati, the goddess of wisdom and knowledge. the embodiment of divine enlightenment, learning, insight and truth, Saraswati is a member of the Tridevi (the female version of the Trimurti), one of the most respected and revered goddesses in the Hindu pantheon... and her likeness is used for a cheap laugh on a character who's already treated as a caricature.

that's bad enough on its own, but when you consider that guru pathik is the only explicitly south asian coded character in the entire show, it's downright insulting. for a show that took so many of its foundational concepts from south asia and hinduism and yet provided almost no desi representation in return, this is just rubbing salt in the wound.

Chakras

"chakra", meaning "circle" or "wheel of life" in sanskrit, refers to sources of energy found in the human body. chakra points are aligned along the spine, with energy flowing from the lowest to the highest point. the energy pooled at the lowest chakra is called kundalini, and the aim is to release this energy to the highest chakra in order to achieve spiritual enlightenment and consciousness.

the number of chakras varies in different religions, with buddhism referencing five chakras while hinduism has seven. atla draws from the latter influence, so let's take a look at the seven chakras:

Muladhara (the Root Chakra). located at the base of the spine, this chakra deals with our basest instincts and is linked to the element of earth.

Swadhisthana (the Sacral Chakra). located just below the navel, this chakra deals with emotional intensity and pleasure and is linked to the element of water.

Manipura (the Solar Plexus Chakra). located in the stomach, this chakra deals with willpower and self-acceptance and is linked to the element of fire.

Anahata (the Heart Chakra). located in the heart, this chakra deals with love, compassion and forgiveness and is linked to the element of air. in the show, this chakra is blocked by aang's grief over the loss of the air nomads, which is a nice elemental allusion.

Vishudda (the Throat Chakra). located at the base of the throat, this chakra deals with communication and honesty and is linked to the fifth classical element of space. the show calls this the Sound Chakra, though i'm unsure where they got that from.

Ajna (the Third Eye Chakra). located in the centre of the forehead, this chakra deals with spirituality and insight and is also linked to the element of space. the show calls it the Light Chakra, which is fairly close.

Sahasrara (the Crown Chakra). located at the very top of the head, this chakra deals with pure cosmic consciousness and is also linked to the element of space. it makes perfect sense that this would be the final chakra aang has to unblock in order to connect with the avatar spirit, since the crown chakra is meant to be the point of communion with one's deepest, truest self.

the show follows these associations and descriptions almost verbatim, and does a good job linking the individual chakras to their associated struggles in aang's arc.

Cosmic Energy

the idea of chakras is associated with the concept of shakti, which refers to the life-giving energy that flows throughout the universe and within every individual.

the idea of shakti is a fundamentally unifying one, stating that all living beings are connected to one another and the universe through the cosmic energy that flows through us all. this philosophy is referenced both in the swamp episode and in guru pathik telling aang that the greatest illusion in the world is that of separation - after all, how can there be any real separation when every life is sustained by the same force?

this is also why aang needing to let go of katara did not, as he mistakenly assumed, mean he had to stop loving her. rather, the point of shedding earthly attachment is to allow one to become more attuned to shakti, both within oneself and others. ironically, in letting go of katara and allowing himself to commune with the divine energy of the universe instead, aang would have been more connected to her - not less.

The Avatar State

according to hinduism, there are five classical elements known as pancha bhuta that form the foundations of all creation: air, water, earth, fire, and space/atmosphere.

obviously, atla borrows this concept in making a world entirely based on the four classical elements. but looking at how the avatar spirit is portrayed as a giant version of aang suspended in mid-air, far above the earth, it's possible that this could reference the fifth liminal element of space as well.

admittedly this might be a bit of a reach, but personally i find it a neat piece of worldbuilding that could further explain the power of the avatar. compared to anyone else who might be able to master only one element, mastering all five means having control of every building block of the world. this would allow the avatar to be far more attuned to the spiritual energy within the universe - and themselves - as a result, setting in motion the endless cycle of death and rebirth that would connect their soul even across lifetimes.

[luffyvace]

The Luffy Package ☠️📦

(General & relationship headcanons as well as Luffy quotes (relationship implied) for his big day!!)

had to go all out for my fav 😊🤭

General Luffy headcanons:

Luffy has nails so short dirt can’t get under it 😭

not necessarily the booty diggers 🤭

but just really short, like almost booty digger ig—but not it

he has like 1% nail

its not intentional, they just never grow

i have a feeling someone taught luffy how to dance

idk who

it was likely makino, shanks or some else he cares deeply about

but he learned early on and has been a great dancer ever since!

maybe at parties since they happen a lot in one piece ⭐️

But just because someone taught him doesn’t mean he was awful at dancing at first

maybe he was a natural!

feel the rhythm typa thing 🎶 🕺

it’d be funny if he was

cuz imagine a guy that can dance but can’t sing

how you gon dance on beat to a out of tune song?? 😭

at least to uta anyway

ive always loved Luffy’s singing‼️

he never thinks about what the one piece is

but would be the most disappointed if it isn’t something cool

this dude is NOT interested in books so if the one piece really is just joyboy’s tale i don’t think he’ll be satisfied..😭 (I’m talking about the theory)

he definitely wouldn’t say it was all for nothin tho

he still has nakama, treasure and is the pirate king!! 👑

but…the one piece as books is just a mega L for him

Robin will enjoy ♡

you know that thing he does where he stretches his face real big? Like the time he was tryna cheer nami up when she was sick? And it scared vivi and zoro?

he scared himself when he first realized he could do that too

he was bored and started messing around with his devil fruit

at first he was outside and he stretched his mouth, and when realized he could see inside it, he was like ‘I wonder what this looks like’

so he went inside and did it into a mirror

he somehow managed to trash the whole bathroom running away from his reflection

he quickly got over it and realized it was kinda funny

he showed Ace and sabo who also found it terrifying

then preceded to scare people with it ever since

d end! :)

I feel like he’s thought about what the ‘D’ in his name stands for too

He came up with a bunch of outrageous names that likely aren’t it..

”Dingus?”

”Donkey?”

”Demarto?”

”Doorbell?”

”Dinosaur?”

yeah, dinosaur seems the most plausible 😊

Luffy Dinosaur Monkey!

‘HEY THAT SOUNDS COOL 🤩’

yup, that’s probably what it stands for 😁

sneaks into the usopp factory whenever he’s not in there

he ends up playing with his creations and destroys, it, other projects, and the factory altogether in the progress

he then runs out laughing

usopp later returns to the ruins only to find his months work of his greatest creation yet named “ultimate captain usopp three thousand smasher” has been reduced to fragments of metal nothing ☺️

listen idk if oda has confirmed Luffy’s favorite color but I would say it’s none

why? The same reason why you can’t ask a toddler their’s, it’s just gonna constantly change and you know it’s not the truth

arguably, if I had to pick an actual color based off canon, (IK it’s a shade but wtv) it’d be white

why? wym? Don’t you remember that one ep where luffy sang a song about how he loves snow cuz it’s so white?

(one of his lesser talked about songs 😭💗)

Relationship Luffy headcanons:

Luffy as a partner is really rambunctious and loving

But do note that loving doesn’t always mean romantic

for him it means loving you a lot but not being lovey dovey when showing it

you need protecting? He’s on the case!! He can’t and he has to beat someone up? One of your nakama’ll do it so stay with them!

your strong? Perfect! He’s gonna go fight this guy so you go beat up that one!

why am I mentioning that? Because it shows he has a great sense of trust and faith in you

Of course he does with all his friends but your reasoning is different

not only are you his nakama, your also his partner!! Which means he loves you in a intimate way!! Not just platonically

I say “just” because I swear sometimes Luffy’ll feel like a friend with you (best friends and lover typa thing 💞) he’s just as goofy and chaotic with you as he is Usopp and chopper

he feels extra lively when around you and always wants to play, whether you like this or not. Your personality depends a lot on how your relationship with him is but I won’t dabble into that today because it’s his birthday. 🎉 but honestly it doesn’t matter if you punch him like nami or laugh like brook-

he’s still gonna bug you! 💖 seriously you can’t get rid of this dude 🤨 Luffy will drag you on every single one of his adventures so I hope your either brave or fearless like him. The only time you two separate and he allows it is when he’s fighting the boss type thing LOL. Like Doflamingo or smth.

that said Luffy isn’t clingy he just likes being around you and seeing what your doing. Especially when you haven’t landed on an island yet and he’s bored. He’s always singing, playing with your face (ironic cuz he’s the stretchy one) or trying to get you to play some silly game he made up

that usually somehow manages to tick everyone off. 🤷‍♀️

will grab your hands randomly and make you dance to some song he made up about literally anything he sees or feels

he even made one about YOU once :3

”OOOOOHHH your my partner! Yes my partner! We’re having lots of fun! Going on adventures- YAHOO!! And dancing a ton! We’ll dance all arcross the grand line!! Take your hats off and let them fly!! YIPPIE!! We’re having a graaaaand TIIIIIIIME!” 😁🕺

Luffy quotes: (implied relationship between you two)

”HEY LOOK DO YOU SEE THAT ISLAND!! Cmoncmoncmoncmoncmoncmon!! HURRY UP I WANNA GO EXPLORING!!”

”can you sneak in the kitchen and steal some food from sanji? I’m really hungry and he won’t let me in anymore!!”

”LETS HAVE A PARTY!!!” — “we don’t need a reason! CMON!’ CHEERS!”

”lets tame that thing and make it our pet!!”

”what should we name em?” — “Junpi? SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!!” (You didn’t get a chance to respond 💕)

”HEY LOOK A RESTAURANT!! Grab on I’ll rocket us there!! HURRY UP IM HUNGRYYY!!”

”hey! Do you have any food on you?? I’m hungry!”

”Liar!! I can smell it!!”

”take a bath?! I don’t stink!!— EUGH!- okay yeah maybe….but I don’t wanna take a bath!! I’ll get all tired!”

”I’ll leave you with that guy! So go kick some butt! I’ll deal with that red forehead guy!!” (AN: There’s no actual red forehead guy that’s canon, I made it up 👍)

”⁉️ HEY WHAT HAPPENED?! Did that guy beat you up?! I’ll send him flying!! 💢”

”Shishishishi! Shh! Watch this! I’m gonna drop this on Usopp’s head! 🤭😂”

”Lets play a gaaaaame!! I’m so bored! 😞”

”can I have some of your food?” *Already stuffing a piece in his mouth* (the point is it’s not the whole thing ⁉️😱)

”HE LOOK MY BOUNTY WENT UP!! 🤩🤩‼️“

”Isn’t this fun?! 😆” (having a near death experience)

”don’t worry! My injuries don’t hurt at all! See? I’m dancing! I’m having fun!”

”oops. Sorry.”

”look!” (Two chop sticks stuffed up his nose and mouth)

”WOAHH A MAN KILLING BEAR!! LETS GO CHECK IT OUT! 🤩” (even if you wanted to say no your already being hoisted over there because you weren’t running fast enough for him)

”plan? Never mind that!! Let’s go! We’re gonna kick that butt head guys’ butt!!” (AN: another fictional villain I made up on a whim)

”HOLD ON TIGHT” (Gum Gum Rockets with hardly any warning)

”let’s play a game!! It’s called steal zoro’s swords without waking up zoro!! 😁”

”nyop!” (Puts you atop his shoulders 💓)

”nyop!” (Jumps on your back almost knocking you over 💝)

”look at my disguise! Nobody will suspect us! 😎👍”

”Cmere!” (Pulls you into his lap)

”HI! Is it almost time for dinner yet?” (Plops down in your lap)

Thanks for supporting me and my work—as well as my random disappearances too 💗🤗

Everyone! Say it!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUFFY‼️‼️

[formulafics]

★ JUST MY TYPE | LN4

Scenario: in which lando norris’ history with his new teammate leads people to believe they don’t like one another, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. (requested)

Pairing: lando norris x male!reader

A/N: we need more rep for male readers 🙌🏻 had so much fun making this one and as per usual, shout-out to @renarots for fueling this

⌕ www.formulatimes/ynlnmovestomclaren

Anyone who’s an up-to-date F1 fan knows all about this rivalry, but just in case you don’t, here’s a quick rundown.

It all started in their karting days. Every race they would go wheel to wheel, and often finish right behind the other. They pushed each other, both metaphorically and physically. In one race, a desperate attempt to overtake YN saw Lando Norris taking himself out of the race.

A few years later, the two would be promoted to Formula One, in which Lando signed to Mclaren, and Yn signed to Alpine - a mistake, if you ask me…or any other fan of his. That being said, it wasn’t Yn’s first choice. Mclaren was openly considering Lando Norris AND Yn Ln, but ultimately chose to sign Norris, with Daniel Ricciardo occupying the second seat. This only fed into their rivalry.

During their rookie year, they fought at the back of the pack as they learned the reigns of F1, but as Norris improved throughout the seasons, Yn was left behind. There’s a lot to unpack in regards to that, but in the simplest of terms, his team has constantly prioritized Pierre Gasly, their second driver, despite him being the inferior talent between the two. We’ve seen this happen with other teams, and that never ends well.

All of that leads to this shocking revelation: Yn Ln is joining the Mclaren Formula One Team. While we can’t say for sure how this will play out, we can speculate. Will they move past their differences and become the ultimate team? Or, will they become the next brocedes?

Published: December 12, 2022

yn_ln

liked by landonorris, pierregasly, maxfewtrell, logansargeant, and 234,761 others

yn_ln new year, new start. thanks @/mclaren and @/landonorris 🧡

view all 3,456 comments

maxfewtrell so happy for you man. you deserve it.

landonorris happy to be teammates with you (finally)

⤷ yn_ln 🫶🏻

⤷ landoland FINALLY?

⤷ rizzciardo lando fans finding out that he and yn are actually really good friends: 😱🤯 they’re one step away from being boyfriends

mclaren great job in bahrain, yn! 🧡👊🏻

ynsworld THATS MY BOY ‼️ so proud of you yn, this is gonna be such a good year for you.

norrisnation i may be a certified lando lover, but i would die and kill for yn.

⤷ landonorris same

papayabull LETS GO I WAS PRAYING FOR THIS DAY (i was manifesting yn to redbull but this works too)

lando.jpg

liked by yn_ln, maxfewtrell, charles_leclerc, riabish, and 245,652 others

lando.jpg when in australia…

view all 3,456 comments

yn_ln rate my photography skills on a scale of 1-10

⤷ lando.jpg 10

⤷ yn_ln wrong. its 12.

⤷ lando.jpg right, my fault. suppose you should open a jpg account of your own in that case

maxfewtrell where was my invite?

⤷ lando.jpg so you could complain about third wheeling?

⤷ landomania AYO? what do you mean by that?

⤷ amgmclaren don’t read into it too much, that’s how it is with lando and all of his teammates

teamyn these are my babies and they’re thriving. i love them <;3

racing.news

liked by mclaren, f1, and 12,345 others

racing.news lando norris has addressed the rumors regarding his relationship with his teammate. norris, 24, said “at the end of the day, i like who i like. i don’t want to put a label on it. it being my sexuality and my relationship with my teammate - those are private matters and have nothing to do with formula one.”

what are your thoughts?

view all 3,432 comments

norrisnation i just hate that they’re wrapped up in this. even if they are dating, i wish they could just be left alone.

rizzciardo we do not give a fuck about them dating. let people love people without questioning their shit 24/7

landomania FORGET WHAT LANDO SAID LOOK AT HOW HE’S LOOKING AT YN IN THE FIRST PICTURE

maxfewtrell my thoughts are that people should mind their business, politely

⤷ norrisnation SPEAK YOUR TRUTH KING 🙌🏻 we love to see you supporting and defending them

⤷ maxfewtrellstappen I LOVE YOU 😭

mclaren

liked by yn_ln, landonorris, charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell, and 345,628 others

mclaren PAPAYA PODIUM 🤩🧡 an absolutley outstanding performance from our drivers today.

view all 6,543 comments

yn_ln super fun day. thank you guys 🧡

ynsworld anyone else noticing that yn seems less happy lately?

⤷ norrisyn YES BRO 😭 it hurts bc he was so happy at the beginning of the season after alpine fucked him over

⤷ ynlandolover honestly i think it’s bc of the rumors. imagine being there to race and all anyone can do is ask about your sexuality and relationship AND most of the questions are clearly judgemental

⤷ papayabull yeah, i feel for yn :( i hope the rumors and shit chill down bc he doesn’t deserve it

rizzciardo they’re so in love it makes me sick

⤷ norrisnation literally 😭 even if they’re just friends, they have so much love for each other and it’s obvious

verstappensboy was 100% certain they were gonna kiss

⤷ formulanorris ain’t even gonna lie, i feel like they considered it for a second. maybe i’m teaching but between their posts, rumors, landos statement, etc, i feel like they are dating

⤷ formulayn honestly same, but i’d avoid speculation online just in case they see it. they both want to keep the details private and we should respect it yk?

landonorris

liked by yn_ln, maxfewtrell, mclaren, riabish, alex_albon, and 345,621 others

landonorris i like who i like, and i stand by that. i won’t put a label on my sexuality, but i do want to be clear that yn is my boyfriend, and i couldn’t ask for a better human being to take that position in my life. i love you forever, @/yn_ln

view all 3,464 comments

maxfewtrell love you guys. so sorry the media didn’t let you do this on your own terms.

*liked by yn_ln and landonorris*

yn_ln i love you so fucking much

⤷ landonorris i love you more

norrisnation we love you so much, lando. 😭 i’m so happy for you both omg

mclaren 🧡

rizzciardo COUPLE OF THE FUCKING CENTURY

formulanorris lando be honest was this a photo shoot you did? and if so, are there more pictures?

⤷ landonorris ….maybe

⤷ ynland HAND THEM OVER PLEASE I BEG

yn_ln

my type - saint motel

liked by landonorris, alex_albon, georgerussel63, and 212,345 others

yn_ln what really happened in monaco 🤭

view all 3,456 comments

landonorris you’re just my type ;)

norrisnation GOD BLESS YOU FOR THESE PICTURES YN

formulayn this is so hot of yn and lando im ngl

⤷ rizzciardo retweet

ynsworld POWER COUPLE.

all feedback is appreciated! thank you for reading 🫶🏻

general taglist | @renarots @jsjcue @illicitverstappen @lovstappen @minkyungseokie @treehouse-mouse

[innerangeltoadlover]

IDEOLOGY : LIFE IN SCHIZOPHRENIA

1. I was inspired to write this because I believe a diagnosis of schizophrenia silences those who suffer from the illness. I wrongly believed after my sister took me to Court in an effort to make me homeless that I would never have to fight for my truth to be heard again. Poor outcomes for patients are linked to expedient treatments - ones which may ignore salient indicators of abuse in order to place mental illness as the cause of behaviour and the only valid truth. There is probably nothing more demeaning and disheartening than telling your therapist about abuse and having it received as a fairytale. My story will show the consequences of skepticism and disbelief in the treatment of schizophrenia which allows for the generalisation of experiences without differentiation. We are better than this.

Sometimes , well often, when we read a memoir there’s an assumption that the person writing has overcome some insurmountable hardship. It motivates us to think that we can do the same – and at some point we , like the author, will walk into the sunset with clarity, humour and perhaps in hand with another. These are the kinds of books I usually stop reading after the first chapter because life , and in particular my life, has not been like this. I want to write about the ugly side of mental illness and the reason why there are so many of us who exist without that longed for happy ending. For those of us who don’t crawl out of the mire our lives are not improved by the application of lipstick or the urging of those who have. Despite our travels through a social media polluted with inspiring memes and motivational scenarios real hardship is present and remains unchanged despite its synonymous pairing with choice.

So my story isn’t going to be particularly uplifting -there has been no victory here – I write because I have to – not because I want to. I’m hoping in writing that I might gain some internal peace over the war my mind wages with me, particularly at night when the lack of distraction makes sleep elusive. I think publishing is a bit of a minefield for people like me. I’m wary of writing anything that resembles some clueless manifesto but at the same time I think it’s important for people with this illness to write something real that isn’t Instagramable and also at nearly 60 I’ve come to view my illness as a valid part of my individuality and I wish to defend it rather than have this unique part of me trampled into submission by doctors who view me like a bacteria in a Petri dish. The truth is this illness is crap but the treatment is crappier and you are trapped in it , well I have been anyway. However the older I get the more I’ve realised that much of the prejudice and stigma linked to this illness has much of its origins in treatment. I used to have a social conscience and was concerned about the plight of my fellow sufferers but it has been chipped away. When my Shrink tells me of advances in care it sort of hangs in the air like a fog in a windowless room. These days I say very little when these professionals say this nonsense which I’ve heard so many times– I’m nearly old but I was young once and I wasn’t born in the Dark Ages- I was hopeful , though that hope has disintegrated. The old mantra “you can’t reason with a schizophrenic” is alive and well in most psychiatrists offices however it is often only the benefit of hindsight that allows us to see the stark relief against the empty rhetoric. It also painfully exhibits that in my case my treatment was inhibited by doctors who could not tell fact from fiction and who had ultimately decided that some lives are worth more than others.

[ozzgin]

Various Predators x Predator! Reader (IV)

@avaleigh16 asked (a very long time ago, sorry for the wait!!) for a fourth part to the Predator saga, where Reader is brought to Yautja Prime. Therefore I bring a potential sequel that focuses on Predator culture, depending on who you’ve chosen as your partner!

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Horror Masterlist]

Feral Predator

As promised, your new home didn’t stray much from your expectations. Feral Predator is from a different hemisphere, of a drier climate. The imposing, sprawling megalopolis of Yautja Prime is but a distant outline, fading before the marvels of raw, unforgiving nature this place has to offer. Tribal architecture and interminable tunnels are the prominent features of these ancient cities. One has no need for advanced technology. In a way, it does remind you of Earth, of your modest countryside roots. Communities are made of small family units, so days are spent hunting or training in the company of your partner. Feral Predator is a patient and caring father, guiding his offspring and showing them the ropes of survival. There will be frequent visits to Earth as he, too, favors its wilderness, especially when it comes to honing one’s skills. While he treats you as an equal, he does hold you in significantly high regards as the mother of his children.

Elite Predator

With great status comes great responsibility. Elite Predator has been eyeing the Elder status for some time now, in order to provide you with one further reason to be grateful for choosing him. That implies, naturally, that he is often on special missions to teach or rescue Young Bloods, or clear out Alien infestations. Your offspring will go through Spartan training as soon as they can crawl their way around: it would be shameful if his own younglings end up weak or devoid of skill. Although he does not worry about such outcome. He hasn’t picked you out of random chance. Only someone of his level could’ve made it as his mate, and he was certain of it from the moment he saw you. Hopefully you, too, can tell that this outcome was fated to happen. You most certainly won’t regret your life with him, he will make sure of that.

Fugitive Bad Blood

If you were hoping for an idyllic, peaceful life in a humble hut with ocean view, I have some bad news for you. Even settling on Yautja Prime is an optimistic stretch when your partner is a criminal on the run. You’ve unwillingly followed in the footsteps of your parents, watching your child grow from within the confinements of a ship, sailing through space with no ultimate goal. Not all is grim, however. Despite his ruthless nature, the Fugitive has kept his word when it comes to being a fitting partner for you. Your wish is his command and he will not allow anything endanger his family. To your great shock, he’s even willing to take risky detours on Earth whenever you feel particularly nostalgic. He will stare at you incredulously; why the hell would he have gone through all the efforts to court you if he didn’t want you as a partner? Have you forgotten who you’re dealing with already? Whatever your heart desires, he will make it possible.

Berserker

The Super Predator cannot wait for his younglings to be old enough to begin their hunt. He lives to kill and one can easily tell from his impressive collection of trophies he has gathered from all across the Universe. Truth be told, you’re somewhat afraid to see the outcome of your copulation. Berserker Yautja are much larger and much more aggressive than your species. You’d assumed his first choice for a mate should’ve been from his own kind, but for reasons unknown he’s preyed on you instead. The Berserker seems to have a fervent attachment towards you and will even growl at his own sucklings if they show any sign of disrespect. There’s not much space for freedom and sometimes you feel like you’re trapped under the suffocating affections of a savage animal ready to defend its territory. From his point of view, you should enjoy the privilege of belonging to the superior Predator. There’s no one out there that could go against him.

[thesiltverses]

I don’t know who types up the ask answers on this blog but to whoever’s reading this: how do you all feel about being alive and sentient? What keeps you going, what purpose propels you through this chaotic void? What do you think (or hope) waits for you after your inevitable end? What do you think constitutes a life well lived?

I'm going to answer this in the most wayward and stupidly overlong manner possible, because the previous ask had me thinking about puppets, and I was already mid-way through writing up a book recommendation that's semi-relevant to your questions.

Everyone (but especially people who've enjoyed The Silt Verses and all the folks on Tumblr who loved Piranesi by Susanna Clarke) ought to seek out Riddley Walker by Russell Hoban.

Riddley Walker is a wild and woolly story set in post-apocalyptic Kent, where human society has (d)evolved into a Bronze Age collective of hunter-gatherer settlements. Dogs, apparently blaming us for our crimes against the world, have become our predators, hunting us through the trees. Labourers kill themselves unearthing ancient machinery that they cannot possibly understand.

A travelling crowd of thugs led by a Pry Mincer collect taxes and attempt to impose themselves upon those around them with a puppet-show - the closest possible approximation of a TV show - that tells a mangled story of the world's destruction, featuring a Prometheus-esque hero called Eusa who is tempted by the Clevver One into creating the atomic bomb.

Riddley himself, a twelve-year-old folk hero in-the-making surrounded by strange portents, ends up sowing the seeds of rebellion and change by becoming a conduit for the anti-tutelary anarchic madness (one apparently buried in our collective unconscious) of Punch 'n' Judy.

It's a book in love with twisted reinterpretation, the subjectivity of interpretation, buried or forbidden truths coming back to light (the opening quote is a curious allegory about reinvention and cyclical change from the extra-canonical Gospel of Thomas, which is a good joke and mission statement on a couple levels at once) and human beings somehow stumbling into forms of wisdom or insight through clumsy and nonsensical attempts to make sense of a world that is simply beyond them.

It rocks.

The book starts like this:

On my naming day when I come 12 I gone front spear and kilt a wyld boar he parbly the las wyld pig on the Bundel Downs any how there hadnt ben none for a long time befor him nor I aint looking to see none agen. He dint make the groun shake nor nothing like that when he come on to my spear he wernt all that big plus he lookit poorly. He done the reqwyrt he ternt and stood and clattert his teef and made his rush and there we wer then. Him on 1 end of the spear kicking his life out and me on the other end watching him dy. I said, 'Your tern now my tern later.'

Riddley's devolved language - a trick which has been nicked/homaged by many other works, most notably Cloud Atlas and Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome - is a masterwork choice which may seem offputting or overwhelming at first, but which has its own brutal poetry and cadence to it, and ultimately which makes us slow down as readers and unpick the wit, puns, double-meanings and playful themes buried in line after line.

(Even those first five sentences get us thinking about cyclical change, ritual and myth in opposition to the dissatisfactions of reality, and 'tern' to paradoxically indicate a rebellious change in direction but also an obedient acceptance of inevitable death.)

In one of my favourite passages in literature and a statement of thought that means a lot to me, Riddley has been smoking post-coital weed with Lorna, a 'tel-woman', who unexpectedly declares her belief in a kind of irrational, monstrous Logos that lives in us, wears us like clothes, and drives us onwards for its own purpose:

'You know Riddley theres some thing in us it dont have no name.' I said, 'What thing is that?' She said, 'Its some kynd of thing it aint us but yet its in us. Its lookin out thru our eye hoals...it aint you nor it dont even know your name. Its in us lorn and loan and shelterin how it can.' 'Tremmering it is and feart. It puts us on like we put on our cloes. Some times we dont fit. Some times it cant fynd the arm hoals and it tears us a part. I dont think I took all that much noatis of it when I ben yung. Now Im old I noatise it mor. It dont realy like to put me on no mor. Every morning I can feal how its tiret of me and readying to throw me a way. Iwl tel you some thing Riddley and keap this in memberment. What ever it is we dont come naturel to it.' I said, 'Lorna I dont know what you mean.' She said, 'We aint a naturel part of it. We dint begin when it begun we dint begin where it begun. It ben here befor us nor I dont know what we are to it. May be weare jus only sickness and a feaver to it or boyls on the arse of it I dont know. Now lissen what Im going to tel you Riddley. It thinks us but it dont think like us. It dont think the way we think. Plus like I said befor its afeart.' I said, 'Whats it afeart of?' She said, 'Its afeart of being beartht.'

While Hoban is, I think, deeply humanistic to his bones and even something of a wayward optimist, the notion of human beings as helpless and ignorant vessels, individual carriers - puppets, if you like - for an unknowable and awful inhuman power-in-potentia and life-drive that lacks a true shape or intent beyond its own continued survival (even when that means destroying us or visiting us with agonising atrophy in the process) conjures up the pessimism of Thomas Ligotti, another big influence on our work and a dude who was really into his marionettes-as-metaphor.

Let's go to him now for his opinion on the thing that lives beneath our skin. Thomas?

Through the prophylactic of self-deception, we keep hidden what we do not want to let into our heads, as if we will betray to ourselves a secret too terrible to know… …(that the universe is) a play with no plot and no players that were anything more than portions of a master drive of purposeless self-mutilation. Everything tears away at everything else forever. Nothing knows of its embroilment in a festival of massacres… Nothing can know what is going on.

Curiously, both Ligotti and Riddley Walker have appeared in the music of dark folk band Current 93, whose track In The Heart Of The Wood And What I Found There directly homages the novel and ends with the repeated words,

"All shall be well," she said But not for me

These words, in turn, hearken back to Kafka's* famous reported conversation with Max Brod:

'We are,' he said, 'nihilistic thoughts, suicidal thoughts that rise in God's head.' This reminded me of the worldview of the gnostic: God as an evil demiurge, the world as his original sin. 'Oh no', he said, 'our world is only a bad, fretful whim of God, a bad day.' 'So was there - outside of this world that we know - hope?' He smiled: 'Oh, hope - there is plenty. Infinite hope, just not for us."

So, we walk on.

We carry this thing that's riding on our backs, endlessly bonded to it, feeling its weight more and more with every passing day, unable to turn to look at it. Buried truths come briefly to life, and are hidden from us again. Perhaps they weren't truths at all. We couldn't stand to look the truth directly in the eyes in any case.

If there is hope, it's for the thing that looks out from our eyeholes, which thinks us but cannot think like us. We'll never get to where we're going, and the thing will never be born. There's no hope for it. Perhaps we don't want it to win anyway. It's nothing, and the key to everything.

The Jesus from the Gospel of Thomas says:

'When you see your own likeness, you rejoice. But when you see the visions that formed you and existed before you, which do not perish and which do not become visible - how much then will you be able to bear?'

Kafka, writing to his father, begins by expressing the inexpressibility of his own divine terror:

You asked me why I am afraid of you. I did not know how to answer - partly because of my fear, partly because an explanation would require more than I could make coherent in speech…even in writing, the magnitude of the causes exceeds my memory and my understanding.

Kafka concludes that while he cannot ever truly explain himself, and that the accusations in his letter are neat subjectivities that fail to account for the messiness of reality, perhaps 'something that in my opinion so closely resembles the truth…might comfort us both a little and make it easier for us to live and die.'**

It doesn't bring comfort to Kafka, whose diarised remarks both before and after the 1919 letter make it clear that he views his relationship with the things (people) that birthed him as an endless entrapment that prevents him from attaining any kind of self-actualisation or even comfort, since he cannot escape their influence or remember a time before them:

I was defeated by Father as a small boy and have been prevented since by pride from leaving the battleground, despite enduring defeat over and over again.

It's as if I wasn't fully born yet...as if I was dissolubly bound to these repulsive things (my parents).*** The bond is still attached to my feet, preventing them from walking, from escaping the original formless mush. That's how it is sometimes.

Samuel Beckett returns again and again (aptly) to this pursuit of a state of true humanity and final understanding that is at once fled and unrecoverable, yet to be born, never to be born, never-existed, endlessly to be pursued, pointless to pursue. From the astonishing end sequence of The Unnameable:

alone alone, the others are gone, they have been stilled, their voices stilled, their listening stilled, one by one, at each new-com- ing, another will come, I won’t be the last. I’ll be with the others. I’ll be as gone, in the silence, it won’t be I, it’s not I, I’m not there yet. I’ll go there now. I’ll try and go there now, no use trying, I wait for my turn, my turn to go there, my turn to talk there, my turn to listen there, my turn to wait there for my turn to go, to be as gone, it’s unending, it will be unending, gone where,where do you go from there, you must go somewhere else, wait somewhere else, for your turn to go again

I’m not the first, I won’t be the first, it will best me in the end, it has bested better than me, it will tell me what to do, in order to rise, move, act like a body endowed with despair, that’s how I reason, that’s how I hear myself reasoning, all lies, it’s not me they’re calling, not me they’re talking about, it’s not yet my turn, it’s someone else’s turn, that’s why I can’t stir, that’s why I don’t feel a body on me, I’m not suffering enough yet, it’s not yet my turn, not suffering enough to be able to stir, to have a body, complete with head, to be able to understand, to have eyes to light the way

From Thomas' Jesus:

When you make the two one, and you make the inside as the outside and the outside as the inside and the above as the below, and if male and female become a single unity which lacks 'masculine' and 'feminine' action, when you grow eyes where eyes should be and hands where hands should be and feet where feet should stand and the true image in its proper place, then shall you enter heaven.

Tom's Jesus makes a particularly Gnostic habit of both insisting that the hidden will be revealed and demonstrating the impossibility of attaining a state where the hidden ever can be revealed. Contrary to C.S. Lewis, we will never have faces with which to gaze upon the lost divine and the mysteries that shaped us, and crucially, as Christ puts it, we would not be able to bear the sight of ourselves if we did.

We will never become the thing that's riding on our backs.

Jesus again:

The disciples ask Jesus, 'Tell us how our end shall be.' Jesus says, 'Have you found the beginning yet, you who ask after the end? For at the place where the beginning is, there shall be the end.'

The Unnameable:

I’ll recognise it, in the end I’ll recognise it, the story of the silence that he never left, that I should never have left, that I may never find again, that I may find again, then it will be he, it will be I, it will be the place, the silence, the end, the beginning, the beginning again, how can I say it, that’s all words, they’re all I have, and not many of them, the words fail, the voice fails, so be it

The final passage of The Unnameable, which often is hilariously shorn and misinterpreted as an inspirational quote about how if you don't succeed, try again:

all words, there’s nothing else, you must go on, that’s all I know, they’re going to stop, I know that well, I can feel it, they’re going to abandon me, it will be the silence, for a moment, a good few moments, or it will be mine, the lasting one, that didn’t last, that still lasts, it will be I, you must go on, I can't go on, you must go on. I’ll go on, you must say words, as long as there are any, until they find me, until they say me, strange pain, strange sin, you must go on, perhaps it’s done already, perhaps they have said me already, perhaps they have carried me to the threshold of my story, before the door that opens on my story, that would surprise me, if it opens, it will be I, it will be the silence, where I am, I don’t know. I’ll never know, in the silence you don’t know, you must go on, I can’t go on. I’ll go on. †

We bear this thing that's riding on our backs. We'll never get to where we're going, and the thing will never be born. If it was born, it'd be too terrible for us to bear. There's nothing riding on our backs.

It will never speak us into being.

We keep on calling out into the silence, we keep trying to explain or understand the thing that's riding on our backs, searching for a way to birth it before we die. Our words about the thing are crucial, and they're meaningless, and they're all we have, and they're nothing at all. We cannot name it and we cannot express it, but we cannot stop trying, and we will keep turning back to our words about the thing, obsessing over them, tearing them to pieces, putting them back together.

I'm fumbling at something I can't think or say, but fumbling is all we're capable of. There could be beauty and meaning and comfort in the fumbling, but it's also vain, and foolish, and pointless, and we're lying to ourselves about the beauty and the meaning and the comfort, and we're indulging ourselves pointlessly by going on and on about the pointlessness of it. Nothing can know what's going on. We will never get close enough to understand without being destroyed.

Thomas' Jesus again, warning those who seek to reveal what's hidden:

He who is near me is near the fire.

Riddley Walker, reflecting on the Punch puppet's inexplicable desire to cook and eat his own child:

Whyis Punch crookit? Why wil he al ways kill the baby if he can? Parbly I wont ever know its jus on me to think on it.

If you got to the end of this, congratulations: but the above is honestly the most appropriate patchwork of what I believe, what propels me, what I feel.

As for what comes after life, I think it's fairly straightforwardly a nothingness we are tragically incapable of fully knowing or accepting - it's Beckett's unimaginable and unattainable silence, a silence that his characters' voices keep on shattering even as they cry out for it.

-Jon‡

*I can't remember if Kafka makes prominent reference to Czech puppets in his work, which is interesting in its own right given the thematic relevance (the protagonist in The Hunger Artist is perhaps a kind of self-directing puppet show?).

However, Gustav Meyrink - who some unsourced Google quotes suggest was pals with Czech puppeteer Richard Teschner - did write a strange little story, The Man On The Bottle, about an audience watching a 'marionette show' who are too wrapped up in performances and masks to interpret the reality that they're actually watching a human being suffocate to death.

**Thomas Ligotti: "Something had happened. They did not know what it was, but they did know it as that which should not be.

Something would have to be done if they were to live with that which should not be.

This would not (be enough); it would only be the best they could do."

***Beckett's Malone Dies actually kicks off with a related sentiment:" I am in my mother’s room. It’s I who live there now. I don’t know how I got there...In any case I have her room. I sleep in her bed. I piss and shit in her pot. I have taken her place. I must resemble her more and more."

† I don't necessarily align myself in humour with Ligotti on a lot of this stuff but I imagine he would recognise both Beckett's writing and Kafka's frustrations re explaining the causes of his hatred for his father as sublimation: finding artistic and philosophical ways of sketching the inexpressible horror and uncertainty of our existence in order to reckon with it at a remove without destroying ourselves. A higher form of self-deception, but self-deception nevertheless.

‡Muna's more of an anarcho-nihilist, I think.

[lovelykhaleesiii]

Hi! i remember asking on your other account about chubby!titus and him kidnapping his favourite barista.

Perhaps you could write something about chubby!titus having a bad day and him coming home and getting spoilt by his barista.

(i’m sorry if this is bad writing, i really suck at explaining things)

Dog Days

PAIRING: Chubby!Titus x fem!Barista!Reader

WORDS: 2,476.

WARNINGS: mentions of kidnapping/hostage, reference to Stockholm syndrome, swearing, thigh riding, female receiving (fingering), oral male receiving (cock sucking), soft feedism, praise kink, some teasing.

A/N - thank you for sending this request in, love the idea and not at all bad writing! poor bby deserves the world. hope you enjoy this xx

credit for the amazing edit of Titus just as a slightly bigger boy - @bnb-atnite 🤍

It was never a struggle to know when Titus was in a “mood.” His entire attitude that would normally be affectionate and happy, would turn silent and distant, fury seething beneath the surface. Occasionally, his quick temper would make an appearance with a quick snap or slamming of his hands against a wooden surface, although never towards you.

He would rather hurt himself, than to ever lay a single finger on you.

How you met Titus, was one story… Almost a fairytale-esque scenario. Although, how Titus secured you in his life was a plot out of a nightmare. It had been 1 solid year now, or so you roughly estimated, since Titus had lured and kidnapped you. The first few months had been excruciating: the separation and absence from your family, friends and life, you had only heard of such terrible stories from news outlets, never for a single moment did you fathom it would happen to you. As the long, desolate days ached by, you had grown exhaustedly worrisome, succumbing to the icy truth that you would never be found, or that if there ever was a search, it had ultimately come to a shattering end. You were fearful of Titus, of what he could've been capable of, the haunting things that scorched your mind, dreadful scenarios of all the things he wanted to do to you... You were imprisoned to these dark thoughts every hour of the day, confined in a small corner, shackles tied firmly around each ankle and hand, its grip bruising your fragile joints, in some dingy, cold basement.

As the months dulled on, time became a blur. And yet, Titus remained prudent, showing no ounce of threat [besides the many, failed attempts of escaping on your behalf, did he accidentally knock you out once or twice]. He would however, show immediate remorse, promptly and gently tending to your wounds, profusely apologising beneath his timid breath: never touching nor forcing himself on you, unless he asked first.

He was different... Not at all like the monsters in those nightmarish stories.

If you were being brutally honest, he treated you with a kindness no man had ever shown to you: he was willing in his actions, nurturing you, feeding you, bathing you, comforting you. He wanted to help you, make you feel better, make you feel at home…

And so he did.

Eventually, you began to trust Titus. Your days felt vastly better knowing his sole presence was around: when you could vividly hear his heavy footsteps above the wooden floorboards first thing in the morning. The sight of him bursting down stairs with a tray full of breakfast goodness, and that sweet, sweet smile across his handsome face. He always made himself look presentable, the way he combed his luscious locks, clean shave although he kept a neat, subtle stubble, clean clothes.

As you began to open your odds up to him, he saw the difference in you, and reciprocated. And before you knew it, normalcy had found you once again.

“Baby what’s wrong? Why the glum face, baby boy?” You tenderly insisted, as you wiped clean the icing off your finger against your kitchen apron.

“W-Well I was craving those cinnamon donuts from the cafe, only to find out that they stopped making it s-since you left. A-And some girl by t-the counter touched my hand and gave me this smile. B-But I don’t want her, I only love you. A-And some jerk cut me off on the r-road, called me a fat prick and other things, just speeding off... I could’ve been in a serious accident. I just— Today is not my day.”

Slowly, as his mouth fell silent, Titus found himself waddling to the living room, as he defeatedly sat himself down on the couch, turning the television on. Following his heavy footsteps, you find him sullen, as he rubs his forehead, combing his fingers through his hair as though to soothe a throbbing headache.

“Now-Now, my love—” You calmly utter, as you closely seat yourself beside him: his growing figure evident of your now reciprocated affections. You had come to realise food was a way to Titus’ heart, he deeply relished in how you would cook for him, hand feeding him yourself. The domesticity was a cosy, reassuring feeling for him. With that, his handsome face remained handsome, though features had slightly expanded with the evident chub and softness, plump cheeks and blurred jawline. His tits had doubled in size, larger than yours, he loved how sensitive they felt against your touch and how his shirts now accentuated his perky chest. His portly, round gut hung greatly over his waistline: rolls of flesh and adipose swallowing his figure, his hips now widened and love handles tempting. Not to mention his ass had grown in mass, elevating him whenever he sat, and his thighs stocky and sturdy, now ever so comfortable to seat yourself upon. Your hand instinctively fell atop of his bloated gut, gently rubbing circles, feeling how plush and how empty it felt beneath your touch.

“—You know I was actually the one making those doughnuts… If you told me so that you reminisced them, I would’ve made them for you already! And I know you love me, silly! Look at everything you’ve given me, all that you do for me… And I’m glad you came back in one piece. I want you to be as careful as you can, okay?”

“B-But have I really become fat? Perhaps the reality is I am no longer decent enough for you, Y/N… I never was, even so that I had to snatch you up all to myself. Maybe I am greedy… As greedy as the hog that I have become.”

You were taken aback by a magnitude from Titus' harsh words. The reality is, who knows what would have happened if he had approached you like any normal person would, if he had rather asked you out on a date, and had taken the time to know each other on a rather mundane and more acceptable level. Regardless, you were here now, this was your reality.

"Titus-Baby, please don't ever think that. You know how much I have grown to love you, to cherish you. Do you still not trust me enough? That this is all some kind of rouse? Yes, perhaps that is it-" You softly chuckle, mildly poking at his belly as you tease your lover.

"You've outed me. My plan all along was to fatten you up, so that I may buy myself some time to escape. I mean how can you chase me with this big, ole belly in the way, hmm?

"Y/N-"

"I'm kidding, my love. As harsh as it was the first few months, I am okay now. I know I will be with you by my side. And besides, I rather do adore all of this-" Your hands firmly grip and tug at his fleshy rolls, squeezing the tub beneath your fingers, causing him to chuckle naturally.

"More of you for me to hold, to touch, to love... To fuck."

Without even so much as an exchange of words, only a fleeting second of a gaze of approval, did Titus pull you in, lifting you without so much as a strain on his face, as you comfortably straddle his wide, sprawled lap.

"Got your attention now, huh, big boy? Gotten so big for me, this is all my undoing isn't it? Are you not proud of my work?" You whisper ever so closely into his attentive ear, hastily pulling up your dress [that Titus himself, carefully selected for you].

"Of-Of course I am-" It made your heart all cosily fuzzy when he stuttered during the intimate moments: you noticed, especially in the early days how often he would struggle to even so much as peck you on the cheek.

"These tits, my goodness, have grown so tremendously for me, this stomach getting bigger by the day-" You utter in between breaths, as you leave a wet beeline of kisses against his thick skin down his neckline to his soft jaw. Having pulled up his white shirt, his clothes only fit just enough but ever so tightly against his massive frame. Kneading at his tits, feeling how plush, how much of a handful they have become, strewed across with raw, red stretch-marks, your thumb teasingly flicking at his sensitive nipples.

"A-All for you, angel... A-Anything for you. I-I can grow even more."

The friction between your inner thighs feels coarse and rough against his black trousers: rutting your eager, throbbing cunt against his lower mass, you hazily glimpse at the stain beneath of your ooze beginning to drizzle through from excitement.

"That's right, handsome. Gonna make you my teddy bear, Titus. Gonna be the perfect, little housewife for you, baby... Isn't that what you've wanted from the start?"

As you finish your remarks, you find your lips crashing against his own, catching his breath in a passionate, longing kiss before breaking free for him to speak. Left to stutter incoherently, as he aimlessly catches his breath, you sense his cock beneath poking against the restrictive fabric, aching to spring into action.

"F-Fuck! Y-Yes, baby. Make you my p-pretty wife, th-that's all I saw th-the first time. Th-The first time I s-saw you. Just kn-knew I had to m-make you all m-mine."

Your hands found their way making a mess across his body, one gripping at his thick, broad shoulder, nails clawing against his adipose, fair skin, leaving vibrant, scarlet marks. The other found its way in his locks, the once neatly combed hair now tugged and pulled at, unkempt and a mess.

His lips found their way to your exposed cleavage, the dress accentuating your breasts as they peaked through... Seemingly, Titus had an excellent taste in your style.

"Big boy wants something it seems... Want to suck on something? Always need to keep that mouth full, huh, handsome?" You breathlessly moan, as your hand that clawed at his shoulder and back, released, leaving him to sigh, as you carefully unlace the front, pulling out your breast, as your other hand guides Titus' hungry mouth to latch on.

"Ahh- Such a good, good boy. My baby deserves it all. Look at how well he cares for me-ahh- provides for me. I-I must be the luckiest of them all."

He was indeed ravenous for you, it seemed. With the rate of his vigorous suckling, you were certain milk would seep through your tit any time soon. His large, pudgy hands that had remained rested: one your backside, firmly planted on your cheek, and the other steadily supporting your back, shoving your feeble body closer against his, pressing you deeper into his stocky mass. As the one that remained supporting your jerking frame, the other snaked its way beneath your evening dress, and soon, in between your grinding motions, you felt his thick digits grazing at your wet folds, before two plunged themselves in, pumping in and out with such speed and ferocity. HIs motions sent a surge of electricity throughout your vessels, as you suddenly burst into a fit of cries and pleas for him. Such raw, sensual sounds and curses from your mouth, made him growl like some wild beast in heat.

"M-My Titus is a-always so h-hungry. D-Do I not feed you enough, big boy? L-Look at you so eager for me?"

Although, with no warning, the hand that remained gripping at his short, blonde strands, guided him further, pulling his head back, as he hesitantly let go, pulling at your nipple momentarily. The abruptness of your actions, halting him, granted you a fair, few seconds to compose.

"My turn-"

With a swift motion, you crept down off his lap, kneeling before him between this trunk-like, as your fingers fiddle with his zipper: he knew precisely what you were lurking for.

As his eager cock sprung forward, slowly engulfed by his surrounding pouch of fat, its size no longer looked as menacing. Although, its girth remained astounding. Your tongue began to tease, lapping at the reddened, oozing tip, before swallowing more and more of him. Soon the entirety, or more so, as much as your mouth could take of his length, filled your capacity, your head began to bob subtly, picking up gradual pace, as Titus' head fell back against the couch. With a struggle, his hands found their way atop your head, his thick digits entwining against your mottled hair, as he gently attempted to plunge your head deeper between his thighs.

"Th-That's it, angel-M-My perfect girl. Kn-Knows how to make me feel s-so good."

You could feel the length of his pulsating cock inside your warm mouth, his hot, fresh seed spilling as it filled your piece. From time to time you would thickly swallow, trying to maintain rhythm and breaths simultaneously.

"S-See? That pretty m-mouth of yours, w-was made j-just for me. A-All fucking mine."

"Sweetheart! The doughnuts are ready, but let them cool for a little while, okay?" You sternly declare, as you rest the hot, baked goodies atop the stove: the fresh, strong scent and smoke filling your nose.

"They look just as incredible as they did in the cafe, baby. Thank you for this."

You pull out the wooden seat, politely gesturing to Titus to take his seat, as you readied his plate and beverage. The feeble chair creaked against his heavy mass, admiring how his bigger frame now engulfed the delicate looking seat, unable to see the back of the wooden frame beyond him.

"Looks like we might need to invest in some new furniture, big boy. Any day now, that chair won't be able to hold you, baby. Maybe I should take a break from the treats, huh?"

"NO! I-I will go out tomorrow, sweetheart, I-I promise- Y-You know I love your cooking. I've loved it since the day I met you, it seems."

"And my coffee? Have I lost my touch?"

As you cautiously rest the hot mug of coffee beside his full plate of cinnamon doughnuts, his familiar grip pulls you from the wrist, guiding you to take a seat on his lap.

"Absolutely not. I rather think your touch has become even more incredible. Because now you see, you're doing it all for me, and only me."

You helplessly beam at Titus, the grandest smile against your face, as you cup his plump cheek, lightly stroking his stubble. Planting a soft peck against his forehead, before resting your own against it, you inhale his musky cologne, how reassuring the familiar scent has become, almost intoxicating.

"Only for you, Titus. I couldn't nor would I see my life in any other way, than how it is now. You were right from the beginning... I was made just for you."

TGC-verse Taglist - @chompchompluke @melinskis @connorsui

credit for divider - @/firefly-graphics

[the-crooked-library]

Hannibal and Control

Alright so out of all the Hannibal interpretations out there, I don't think there are any that irritate me more than the idea of an unequal balance between him and Will. There's this opinion floating around - that he is so much of a control freak that he can never let Will make his own decisions; I've seen it in fic, in Tiktok videos, an occasional textpost, and it is just so grossly incorrect that I have to say something on the subject.

As early as season 2, we get this:

This is perhaps one of the most famous scenes in the series - in which Hannibal states, out loud, canonically, that the reason he is so fascinated by Will is because, unlike most other people, he can never truly predict him. No matter how much he may "whisper through the chrysalis," Will Graham will find a way to surprise him; he expressly doesn't follow the lines Hannibal has written for him, and that is a key element of their relationship throughout the show.

Now, I am not denying that control is a prominent element of Hannibal's life - it is indubitably important; but it is not everything - especially in this particular context. As much as he maintains that iron grip on himself, it does not reach nearly the same extent with Will; and it falls apart entirely by season 3, in which Hannibal explicitly gives up his control of the story, risking his life and freedom - both things he valued above all else earlier in Mizumono.

The message here is clear; as much as his control, his liberty, his own continued existence matter, Will Graham is infinitely more precious to him; and to suggest otherwise - that he would attempt to fully subjugate the man he views as his only equal, as the only deity he recognizes - frankly, he'd call it blasphemy.

Moreover, this interpretation of their relationship stems not only from a mischaracterization of Hannibal himself, but also from a rampant infantilization of Will. There is a tendency in some areas of the fandom to entirely absolve Will Graham of his guilt; and, with the culpability handed over to Hannibal in its entirety, he assumes the role of an innocent, redeemable, good person in the eyes of such viewers - which could not be further from the truth. Will Graham's agency is integral to the story; though he wrestles with some moral dilemmas throughout the series, he is ultimately responsible for his own choices, especially post-season 1. There is a clear distinction between circumstance and desire - for instance, Randall Tier did invade his home, which did force him into violence; however, it did not force him to throw aside his gun, or relish the brutality, or bring the body to Hannibal, or eat of it, or display parts of it, or store the rest in his freezer.

He did all that himself.

He knows that.

Will Graham's infantilization (no, he was manipulated, he was tricked, Hannibal tempted him into something he didn't want, he didn't want to be a murderer, he is a sweet darling boy) is rooted not only in homophobia, but also in the same sort of ableism real-world autistic adults face every day. His own desires and agency get overwritten by that ever-present bigotry; the same way that some people believe that autistics cannot give consent to sexual activity, or participate in nuanced discussions, or understand the harm or violence they do, the other characters assume that he is fundamentally an innocent right until the very end. Jack, Alana, Molly, even Chilton make that mistake; and Will does play on their ignorance within the world of the story - but it is truly discouraging to see the success of his act extend to the viewers, who should have the necessary context to understand it for the lie it is.

He has agency, and it is paramount to the themes of a series that explores queer desire, internalized homophobia, and the guilt that often surrounds this sort of experience.

As such, the story, from Hannibal's perspective, is about learning to let go of his otherwise unwavering control; it's about finding a common ground with someone that understands him, and allowing himself the final trust fall. From Will's perspective, it is a coming out story, with everything that entails - which also culminates in him taking a leap of faith into the arms of the man he loves. The reason why Hannigram is so enduring as a ship is because it is founded on that balance; to deny this equality, therefore, is to fundamentally undermine the theme of these characters' narrative, and twist them into caricatures of themselves.

In short, it does them a disservice.

[booksandabeer]

Stucky Recs: Road Trips!

Well, well, well. Look at that! After only three months of constant whining about having no time to do it, I've finally managed to put together a new rec list! Yay.

The theme of this list was requested by multiple people and really, who doesn't love a good road trip story, right? And let me tell you, there are so many good ones, this post could've been twice as long. I'm actually already hoarding fics in my little folder to do a part two later this year.

But for now, please enjoy my effusive ramblings about the following 10 Road Trip fics + 1 Rail Trip fic:

🚗 you're gonna have it your way or nothing at all by biblionerd07 | T, 15K

Author's summary: Steve and Bucky aren't really much of a Steve and Bucky anymore these days. Steve's sure it's because Bucky doesn't see himself as the same guy who used to love Steve. In a desperate attempt to prove him wrong, Steve begs Bucky to go on a road trip together, the way they used to dream about, and does his best to remind Bucky of who he is.

A post-CW canon divergent fic that's in a lot of ways very soft, but with just enough of an edge to keep things interesting and the reader uncertain as to how everything will play out in it. This starts with a somewhat disaffected Bucky who has not (yet) regained all of his memories and a Steve who, in his desperation to reconnect with him, tries so hard but ends up saying and doing all the wrong things. As they travel around the country, they both find ways to let go and to unlearn and relearn each other. Features moments of heart melting yet tongue-in-cheek sappiness (so the absolute best kind of sappiness) and a fun background Sam/T'Challa pairing.

🚗 a black sky prickled with small lights by emilywithoutY | M, 26K

Author's summary: There's this: The July heat. A wide open road. An obnoxious country song on the radio. Bucky in the driver’s seat.

Or: Two hundred-year-old men and their Great American Road Trip

The ultimate, unashamed Steve-and-Bucky-visit-the-Grand-Canyon wish-fulfillment fantasy—and I mean that in the best possible way. The summer road trip vibes are impeccable. This is technically the third part in the Litanies series, but it absolutely works as a standalone. However, if you ask me whether you should read the entire series, the answer is obviously a resounding yes. It's not only one of the best EG-Fix-Its I've read but also comes with an additional fun and sexy twist on how to get these two to finally get their heads out of their asses. Anyway, in this installment, they have already done that and now they get to enjoy the road, their freedom, and most of all, each other. Includes: healing along the way, long overdue conversations, and the attempt to reconcile the joy of finally having all that time with the bittersweet reality of having all that time.

🚗 Blue Moon by what_alchemy | E, 15K

Author's summary: "Now are you gonna run away with me or not, Rogers?”

God, this story (this author, really)! I’ve read this fic so many times I’ve lost count. It features one of my favorite post-WS characterizations of Bucky. One where he's still—somehow after everything—a romantic at heart, but also clear-eyed and unsentimental enough about certain things to not shy away from laying out some uncomfortable truths for Steve and the reader alike (there’s one line in particular that is seared into my brain and every time I read it I personally feel so called out). Steve may be a bit more cautious and softer about it, but oh, he gives back just as good. Nobody is handling anyone with kid gloves here. A story about learning how to be together (again), defining one's very own version of 'Happy Ever After', and about being very much in love, and also very horny for each other.

🚗 Not Language but a Map (The Grammar of Sensation) by dorian_burberrycanary | E, 20K

Author's summary: Steve has never felt right running away from a fight, even if the fight is with unanswered questions. But it’s not running if it’s a road trip and the oldest, thorniest unanswered question is along for the ride.

If you follow my blog you will probably already know that I am head over heels in love with this entire EG-Fix-It Series. This third story is finished, but Steve & Bucky's road trip continues in part 4, which is currently being posted (updates weekly). I believe this fic can be read as a standalone but, really, why would you deprive yourself of even a single word of this absolutely magnificent series? Every word, every detail, every narrative choice feels deliberate and well thought out. It's a masterclass in subtle storytelling and yet so rich in its themes, characterizations and descriptions of people, places, and food. This fic will make you hungry in so many different ways. A lot happens between the lines which may require some patience at times, but when the emotional payoff hits—it really, really hits. I cannot recommend this enough. Spectacular all around.

🚗 where the days are longer by endofadream | E, 13K

Author's summary: And maybe that’s what they’re running from. Those ghosts. That minefield. The suffocating pressure to live up to who they used to be when who they used to be has now become stale, recycled words in textbooks and museums and clickbait online articles.

They fuck off to the coast, trying to put as many miles between them and D.C. as possible. New York is loud and claustrophobic at the best of times, but California has the open skies and roads that make Steve ease a little more into his skin.

I have such an immense fondness for this story. There are some very minor problems with shifting POV in the first chapter, but please don't let this deter you from giving this story a chance—it's got so much heart. This is a slow and meandering piece that can be best summed up as: Steve and Bucky being so very much in love. Set in some undefined period post-CATWS, in a world where the events of Civil War never happened, Steve and Bucky decide they’re tired of fighting and conforming to what everyone else wants them to be and just get in a car and drive all the way to California. There, they start figuring out how to live in the future while also accepting that they can never quite leave the past behind, and that time, indifferent to the tragedies of (not quite) mortal men, will inevitably keep marching on—whether they want it to or not. To quote directly from the story itself: They’re both men out of time, so they make their own.

🚗 Lightning in a Bottle by odetteandodile | E, 63K

Author's summary: The problem, Steve thinks, isn’t so much his motorcycle giving up the ghost on a lonely stretch of highway through a lonely stretch of the country. He doesn’t mind stretching his legs or the prospect of hitchhiking.The problem is the roiling black blanket of storm clouds slowly spreading itself over the landscape headed his direction…

Steve Rogers is looking to hitch on a highway abandoned by everyone smart enough to avoid a looming storm. Bucky Barnes is the professional storm chaser who offers him a ride. It gets more complicated from there. 

This AU offers an intriguing twist on the The Road Trip as a genre, Shrunkyclunks as a trope, and modern!Bucky as a character—it's an electric ride from start to finish—in more ways than one… *wiggles eyebrows* ...yeah ok, I’ll see myself out. It was either this or something about 'chasing all kinds of storms together' and I just couldn’t resist. Anyway, this story is a clever and unique take on canon events (not just limited to the CA movies!) and I don’t really want to give too much away and spoil all the fun, so I’ll just say this: If you are in the mood for a thrilling sci-fi/adventure/romance hybrid-story with beautiful evocative writing, characters that actually act like the smart, competent grown-ups they supposedly are, sex scenes that are both hot and emotional, and a touch of spy/mission fic to go along with a free crash course in weather phenomena—this is the fic for you!  

🚗 The Only Familiar Thing by brideofquiet | E, 39K

Author's summary: Steve takes a breath, steels himself, and asks, “Where are we going, Buck?”

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “You’re the one driving, Steve.”

And before Steve can protest, Bucky gives him that broad, toothy grin again. The worry pitted in his stomach ebbs, and he decides—what the hell? Why not? Steve pulls his helmet on and swings a leg over the bike. Bucky settles in behind him, and he cranks the engine to life.

A Post-CATWS fic, in which Bucky has returned to Steve after being on the run for a while. They are together, share an apartment in Brooklyn, and Bucky has regained most of his memories—so yay! All good, right? Well, things are going…uh...let's say they're going. See, Steve and Bucky are still very much in love—the thing is, they're pretty good at the being in love part but pretty awful at the talking about it (and everything else that matters) part. So much so that they accidentally on purpose non-communicate and out-stubborn each other into going on a road trip, where things will eventually—inevitably—come to a head. Throughout the trip, the tension between them builds and builds until finally they have to admit that sometimes being partners, lovers, best friends, and knowing someone better than anybody else in the world, still doesn't mean that you can *actually* read their mind. Sometimes you gotta use your words. The author skillfully manages to create a story that treats its characters and their conflict seriously, while also infusing it with a healthy dose of humor and romance to always keep the readers on the right side of 'frustrated' (i. e. invested, not irritated).

🚗 old college try by kafkian | E, 19K

Author's summary: Bucky wonders if it’ll ever stop feeling like stealing: Steve Rogers, Captain America, the hope of a nation tucked into Bucky’s right hand. It’s the heist of the century.

In which Bucky Barnes remembers himself, Steve, and what it means to be selfish – not necessarily in that order.

Another old favorite of mine. Set post-CACW, this fic starts with a recently defrosted Bucky and a somewhat unmoored Steve in Wakanda, as they try to figure out what to do next: Keep fighting the never-ending wars of other people or run away, see the world, and retire to a quiet life? Well, since this is a road trip fic, I think you can guess which option they go for. It's a beautifully written story about Steve and Bucky's journey across continents and decades, and their ultimate arrival in a life that they never dared to hope they could have one day. This was written in 2016, so right between the fanfic avalanche caused by TWS and the frenzy of EG-Fix-Its. Re-reading this for the first time in quite a while made me realize that—aside from being a fantastic story in its own right—it's also an interesting commentary on popular Stucky fics that came before it (you can see clear influences but also some gentle rebuttals to popular fanon of the time) as well as very much a product of its time. And I don't mean that in a negative or disrespectful way at all, but simply, that it also serves as a fandom artifact; a text that reveals and reacts to certain trends, shifting attitudes, and developments in Stucky fanfiction over the years. Either way it's definitely well worth a read.

🚗 The Long Way: A Stucky Fancomic by BeaArthurPendragon, LittleWolf82 | T

Authors' summary: After Thanos is defeated, Steve doesn't stay in the past. This is the story of where he and Bucky go next.

A little something different here: a road trip fancomic! And oh, it's only one of my favorite fic writers teaming up with one of my favorite artists—what's not to love? This is an EG-Fix-It that simply ignores the last five minutes that Ruined It All and instead tells the story of what could've or should've happened to Steve and Bucky after EG. A story that is infinitely kinder and truer to these characters. Sweetly told and beautifully drawn—an absolutely wonderful collaboration.

🚗 i need a forest fire by tomorrowsrain | T, 65K

Author's summary: In which Tony Stark makes a reckless decision, becomes a wanted fugitive, goes on the run with the former Winter Soldier, and learns how to forgive. For his part, Bucky Barnes is just trying to hold himself together. AU, post-Civil War.

This is the only fic on this rec list that does not have Bucky and Steve going on a journey but instead it's Bucky and...Tony. WAIT! Hey, come back! I know that for a lot of Steve and/or Bucky fans the idea of reading a 65K fic that heavily features Tony Stark does not really sound like an enticing prospect. BUT! Hear me out. This is a fic that runs with one of the core concepts of fix-it fanfiction, which is: What if these characters actually talked to each other for a change? And yes, it gets messy and complicated and often painful—nothing is glossed over and no one is let off the hook easy. What you get here is a fantastically written story that is simultaneously an intimate & slow character study of both Bucky and Tony, a grand sweeping road trip fic with a thrilling plot that will have you on the edge of your seat (there is a moment in this where I really thought it was all over), AND a decade spanning tale of epic love. If you're worried that there is too little Stucky or Steve in this, don't be. Even before he shows up around the halfway mark of the fic, Steve is very much present the entire time. It's incredible what the author pulls off here. This is one of my all-time favorite fics. I love it a totally not normal amount.

🚂 Will There be Any Freight Trains in Heaven? by phoenixflight | E, 56K

Author's summary: It's summer of 1934, a quarter of all Americans are unemployed, and record numbers of migrant workers are hopping freight trains to seek their fortune out west. What are two boys from Brooklyn to do?

Or, Steve and Bucky ride the rails, become socialists, and fall in love, in no particular order.

This story is a bit of an outlier on this list because not only is it the only fic that's set in the pre-war period, it's also not strictly a road trip fic, but a rail trip fic. Usually the road trips in these stories are either (1) a last ditch effort at saving a friendship/relationship, (2) a way of finding oneself and/or making peace with one's past, or (3) the 'we survived all this and here we are together in the future, so let's go and actually see some of that world we fought so hard to save' victory lap. The impetus for travel in this fic, however, is born out of sheer necessity. It's the height of the Great Depression and Steve and Bucky are really poor and really desperate—so desperate even that they're willing to leave behind Brooklyn, their families, and their lives as they know it to go look for work in the West. This is not a fic that's always easy to read, circumstances are dire, attitudes are, ahem, authentic to the period, and the nostalgia-tinted glasses about the good old days before the war will get firmly knocked off your face. It's also a story that will show you time and time again that sometimes you will find kindness, love and almost overwhelming humanity in the places you least expect it. And listen, if period accuracy and a very political Steve Rogers do not convince you, let me tell you that there's also a lot of pining in this. So. Much. Pining.

Ok. This was fun.

Next up: Short fics under 10K

[swanpyart]

INSIDE JOB PART 2 Spoilers: Ron and Reagan

Honestly, I feel like people are a bit too hard on Ron in the finale. I feel like his feelings about not wanting to be involved with the Shadow Governments are perfectly reasonable and, if Reagan weren't so attached to her colleagues and Brett, and wasn't as ambitious in her career path, she would have immediately gone with him.

I don't think Reagan or Ron is wrong for their feelings. That's kind of the point: they care about each other but ultimately have different priorities. And, also, they're both clearly traumatized from their own experiences and trying to work it out in different ways.

Like, Ron is clearly self-destructive and pushes people away when he feels he's unable to connect with them. I think that's part of why Brett initially disliked him; Ron has little drive to appeal to others and is perpetually disconnected because of his own trauma. Brett starts to like him when he becomes more sincere in his approach. Not to mention, he's low-key kind of suicidal; he doesn't seem to want to die, but his obsession with memories seems to stem from his intense guilt. He was raised Catholic and clearly harbors intense shame for his entire life, and has spent his entire career doing awful shit, so he feels weighed down by his own brain and his own existence. The way he describes his experience drinking an entire vat of memory-erasing fluid sounds like he's describing a suicide attempt to Reagan. In the end, the only way Ron was able to free himself from his perpetual guilt is to forget it all, and he just assumed the same for Reagan, by assuming that this guilt was something they had in common. And he's not ENTIRELY wrong; Reagan has expressed countless times how much she's hated her job and her coworkers, so, naturally, he assumed she'd be excited to run away from it all with him.

Reagan, is not like that at all, though. She is constantly curious, determined, and angry. She doesn't resign herself to sit back and let the world burn, she wants to DO something. And erasing all of her memories would serve no purpose to her, because she prioritizes her own autonomy and mind, and her connections to others as above her own sense of peace. (plus, Rand has erased her memories before, and she probably doesn't want to go through that again). To Ron, ignorance is bliss and truth has caused him great pain, but to Reagan, ignorance blinds her to the truth of the world. It blinded her to how awful her father was, of how to open up to others, and how to accept the unfairness of the world.

Besides, and this might be a hot take, Ron is ABSOLUTELY correct when he says Reagan should quit her job. Every episode shows that Cognito is basically a zoo full of insane, awful people, Reagan has had to deal with monsters of all kinds, has nearly died on several occasions, and her coworkers are all assholes (even if they do care for her deep down). Remember, Ron hasn't seen everything we've seen of the company, and from his reactions, it seems the Cognito is WAY more dysfunctional than the Illuminati, meaning that Reagan is in even more danger. I mean, a halloween party culminated in everyone getting contaminated with a virus in which everyone wants to be his friend (and as someone with social anxiety, that is my worst nightmare). Ron even says that every time they get together in public they nearly die.

And you might say, "well, why doesn't Ron just quit and let Reagan work?" Even if he did, he'd have to live with the constant fear of his girlfriend/potential wife possibly dying from whatever horrific event is happening at her job that day, and their relationship (as shown in the alternate timelines) would eventually deteriorate, because its extremely difficult to control the entire world and lead a fulfilling romantic life at the same time. Even in Part 1, Bear-O said that her job at Cognito makes her life more difficult. Ron's whole Appleton plan would start them off with a clean slate.

A clean slate isn't what Reagan wants. She would lose all that she's worked for, and she would never give that up. In the end, they both lost what they wanted (each other) and got what they needed (Ron gets peace, and Reagan gets her means to make actual change).

If anything, I feel that Reagan and Ron's relationship, in some ways, is a direct parallel to Rand and Tamiko's relationship. Both Rand and Reagan want to rule the world, but they have someone they love who simply can't accept it and continue as if nothing is wrong. The difference between Rand and Reagan is that, while Rand insists that he can have both the entire world and the validation of this one person, Reagan knows she can't have both and lets Ron go, because she loves him.

[deliciousdefendorinternet]

if we do get another angst heavy tv show episode in the future then I gotta see it being their Grandma's anniversary and Bro zone not knowing about it.

like just imagine if we get another angst heavy episode like search for piece at some point in the future then one plot point I really wanna see at some point is something to do with their Grandma again now that Bro zone are around.

it could be the anniversary of their Grandmother's death since I like that plot point idea lol and with that there's a couple of options for how the story could go.

either 1. Branch spends the episode going to each of his individual Bros just sorta faking wanting to casually hang out for no real reason.

and even offering to help out when they say that their either busy with work or already have other plans but they basically politely blow him off.

leading to him acting like its no big deal and just going back on his own later on one of the Bros finishes what they were doing.

and ends up deciding to go see if Branch still wants to hang out maybe bumping into the snack pack at the village and casually hears them mention that Branch had asked each of them at different points if they wanted to hang out for the day together as well.

stating he had been acting kinda weird like offering to help do some of their boring stuff with them like their laundry or help babysitting their young cousins.

which the Bro finds suspicious so he gathers the other Bros and asks them if they had had visits from him which they all say they have and they all note he seemed a tad off and almost kinda desperate to spend the day together.

then they all head to the Bunker to see if he's in which he is tho he acts somewhat tense tho clearly trying to act normal in front of the brothers.

but they do keep pushing him for the truth and he eventually sighs and tells them that its the anniversary of when their Grandma died and that he's always found it so much harder being alone on this day.

so in the past he's usually tried to be around other people on this specific day anyway afterwards Branch is somewhat embarrassed given he feels its somewhat childish of him to not be able to handle it on his own.

anyway I find it cute to imagine it ending with the Bros promising he won't have to spend that day by himself again and they all agree to remember the date so they can all stay over together every time the day comes around every year.

or option 2. the Brothers are the ones trying to get Branch's attention maybe asking him if he wants to hang out but after being turned down by him in a somewhat weird way.

they get suspicious and won't let it go kinda leading to the same result only difference is Branch instead normally prefers to spend that particular day of the year alone.

given its what he's used to and he just prefers to deal with things away from other people.

IDK what do you think? you could argue option 2 is more consistent for the Branch we know but I just kinda like the cute idea of option 1 where he's sorta desperate to not be alone on that day.

and he nervously tries to find anyone to spend the day with no matter what he would have to do in order to spend time with them.

but ultimately no one is available and the Brothers do make the agreement to always spend that day of the year together in the end so he never has to go through it alone again.

[mrs-gauche]

...and also the only time that Solas of all people, is completely speechless, for once at a loss for words in response to an irrefutable argument.

Throughout the whole game (with a few exceptions in which he actually admits to having misjudged), whenever you get the chance to debate him on something you do not agree on, Solas, Mr “I’m a trillion years old, you know nothing, so listen carefully” will practically verbally jiu-jitsu you for every possible argument you might have, like, he’s an absolute master at playing Ace Attorney refuting any of your points, much like playing mind chess with Iron Bull, there is no chance to win an argument with Solas if he’s determined to have you recognize the flaw in your logic or at least understand his perspective, making you feel like this gif at the end of every debate.

But when Lavellan says “I would have had you trust me”, finally, there is no counter argument, no clever comeback, no objection... He has nothing. Because Lavellan is right and he knows. There’s just silence until he turns around and continues with the rest of the dialogue. And I think it’s interesting how this is kinda the culmination of all the little hints throughout the whole game at his ingrained distrust, leading up to this moment.

“An enemy can attack you, but only an ally can betray you. Betrayal is always worse.”

"The next time you have to mourn, you don't need to be alone." “It’s been so long since I could trust someone.”

“That’s when you should lean on your friends.” “Apologies, Inquisitor. I have learned not to do that.”

“I’ll rely on those I trust.” "You think to share your power, to avoid the temptation to misuse it. A noble sentiment... but, ultimately, a mistake." (...) "Because while one selfless man may walk away from the lure of power's corruption... no group has ever done so."

“You created a powerful organization, and now it suffers the inevitable fate of such. Betrayal and corruption.”

"I trust my friends." "I know that mistake well enough to carve the angles of her face from memory."

“She was betrayed as I was betrayed. As the world was betrayed!” - Flemeth about Mythal

You get the sense that him witnessing Mythal being betrayed and murdered by the Evanuris was probably the catalyst for his immense trust issues, so much so that it still has that big of an impact on him centuries later. And of course it has, when 1) it was this batrayal and power corruption that set everything in motion, it almost lead to the end of the entire world, which in turn lead to the creation of the Veil and finally the loss of his world and his people, 2) he has spent the last 1000 years walking the Fade, having to look at the ever present Black City in its center - their prison - as a constant reminder of what happened. (I know it’s not confirmed yet, but come on! 😂)

And then there is Lavellan (or any high approval Inquisitor for that matter) at the end of all this. Who proved him wrong with every action throughout DAI. Who has shown wisdom in their decisions and that the power they were given mustn’t corrupt them. That there is no reason for him not to trust them. And yet, he simply can’t, because the past still haunts him and centuries of history have taught him otherwise (and like a bunch of other reasons for him to not tell Lavellan the truth in that moment in Crestwood, but that’s beside the point here lol). 

And then at the end of Trespasser, Lavellan finally throws it straight to his face, and while he could pull any of the excuses listed above, he simply can’t refute them anymore. Look at his expression as he just looks at them in response, at first still frowning for a second, as if he’s still about to argue them again, but then suddenly shifting into sorrow, slightly shaking his head in defeat. “I got nothing.” Solas, who easily managed to own you in any debate prior to this, is all out of arguments. It’s the final argument and the Inquisitor won.

(Well, technically, it even happens twice in this final conversation, if we’re counting Solas’ internal debate with himself. lol)

"We aren't even people to you." "Not at first. You showed me that I was wrong."

But going back to his distrust, it surely can’t be a coincidence that this whole issue was also topic in a recent interview with DA4′s Creative Director, talking about what defines a hero.

I’ve talked about this numerous times now, like here, here or here, but what it all comes down to is basically just one more penny for the “Solas needs to learn how to trust again in order to be saved from himself” jar. lol

“We will save our friend from himself… if we can.”

Like. It’s literally his name. Pride. Saving Solas from himself does quite literally mean to strip him off his name and the belief that, to quote John Epler again, “only he has the answers, that he is the only one who can solve this” and to accept the help of others. Which is why he has to get a new name by the end of all this. I’m dying on that hill. 😂

[coraniaid]

I think there's something fascinating about the evolution of Darla as a character in the Buffyverse.

It's very common in the Buffy fandom to talk about the show almost as if it were fully planned out from the beginning or somehow emerged fully-formed one day in its entirety.  To analyze Season 1 episodes as if the writers had already decided on the Heart/Mind/Spirit symbolism of the core Scooby Gang; to act as though a Season 5 retcon means that Spike was really in love with Buffy as early as Season 3's Lovers Walk; to suggest the constant changes in how the show deals with soul lore or vampires as a metaphor must mean that Giles and the Council were 'really' lying or ignorant in the first few seasons; to wonder what the Watchers Council introduced in Season 3 were doing in the show's first two seasons; to insist you can't really understand Season 1 until you've finished Season 7.

And, look, I totally get the temptation to do that sort of thing.  It's unavoidable if you want to talk about the universe of the show as a real thing in its own right, or try to write fanfiction that takes every season seriously.  It can be a useful and interesting way of thinking about the show.  I've done it myself and will no doubt keep doing it.

But at the same time, it's very misleading if you want to think about the show as a constructed work of collaborative art: as a piece of fiction in constant conversation with itself, shaped and reshaped again and again over years by a team of different people.  Which, to be clear, is what it actually is.

The real show is almost a piece of improv or some sort of conjuring act, with the writers and actors constantly juggling with new ideas and twists without any time to worry about how exactly everything fits together. With some episodes reportedly being written in only a handful of days and lore being continually changed and ignored as fits the current demands of the plot.  Questions like "how does soul lore really work?" or "after Prophecy Girl who is the real Slayer anyway?" ultimately can't be answered, because there simply is no single truth to uncover.  It depends entirely on the current episode.

And I think the ever-changing character of Darla provides the best illustration of that reality.

In the original unaired pilot, Julie Benz plays an unnamed vampire who is nonetheless pretty easy to identify with the Darla we'll see in the show proper.  She has no links to Angel or Luke or the Master, because none of these characters even exist yet.  Just like in Welcome to the Hellmouth, she lures an unsuspecting victim into the high school after dark before vamping out and killing him, but by the end of the episode she is dead: gruesomely dispatched (or as gruesomely as the pilot's limited special effects budget allowed) after Willow douses her with holy water.

The two parter Welcome to the Hellmouth / The Harvest expands on her role slightly.  She has a name now, for one thing. She works for the Master, too, but she doesn't at all seem to be his favorite (she's very much subordinate to Luke in both these episodes), and there's no suggestion that she has any special connection to Angel.  (Unsurprisingly, as the show's writers hadn't even decided to make Angel a vampire at this point.)  And her ultimate fate at the end of this two-parter is unclear: just as in the pilot, Willow soaks her with holy water, and then she's ... gone?  Nobody mentions her again, she's not in scenes with the Master in later episodes which logically she should be. I'm pretty sure that, just like in the pilot, we're meant to assume she's dead.

But then Darla gets her first big break.  Angel is, it turns out, a vampire, and he needs some backstory to match.  Julie Benz obviously made a decent enough impression in the first couple of episodes, and nothing she did or said quite ruled her out as Angel's sire, and we never quite see her die. So suddenly she's back,  now the Master's favorite vampire, attacking Buffy's mother in her own home and sowing the seeds of mistrust between Buffy and Angel and ... oh, she's dead again.  Bummer.

Except then in Season 2 Angel's role expands again -- he's not just Buffy's intermittently seen vampire boyfriend anymore, he's the focus of the whole season and he's going to appear in all but one episode.  Of course, he's going to need more backstory (and we're all going to be treated to David Boreanaz's best Irish accent) so ... once again Darla rises from the ashes, albeit this time only in flashbacks.  And the Darla we see in Becoming's flashbacks is once again an evolution of the character we last saw in Season 1's  Angel.  More confident, more complex.  A character that it is honestly difficult to reconcile with the take on the character we saw last season, especially the one we swa in the show's first two episodes.

Anyway, Angel gets sent to hell in Season 2, but not before managing to (somehow) act his way into his own spin-off series.  And yes, that means more flashbacks, and more Darla, and more retcons about the precise nature of her relationship with the Master, but ultimately it means the writers decide to bring Darla back from the dead at the end of the spin-off's first season (for, depending on exactly you count it, arguably the fourth time, though only the first in-universe).  And this iteration of Darla -- both the human Darla we see in the beginning of Angel's second season, and the vampire she becomes again later that season -- is arguably the closest thing there is to a definitive take on the character.  This is the Darla people mean when they talk about her on the show.  Not the mid-level vampire of Welcome to the Hellmouth or the essentially single episode villain of Season 1's Angel, but the real deal.  Darla at her most complicated and rich and alive, a Darla whose history is hopelessly entangled with that of her on-again, off-again lover Angel, a character who provides the driving force for the spin-off show's greatest season.  A character who is, I think, one of the most  interesting to ever appear on that show.

Then the last few episodes of Season 2 completely drop Darla and all trace of the arc she introduced. When she reappears next season (in just a handful of episodes) it's so that her character can be written out of the show via mystical and impossible-by-the show's-previous-rules pregnancy in order for men to feel sad about it (but not for very long), and afterwards everything generally goes to shit.

But then, that tells you quite a lot about the Buffyverse and its creators as well.

[singukieee]

'23 A R C H I V E

—or recs of fics I’ve read and been reading.

[back to NAVIGATION]

♡ : works im following closely

☆ : my ultimate favorites (mostly finished)

① : oneshots

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[OT7]

Safe and Sound ♡

hybrid!bts x reader

You have worked at a hybrid rehab and adoption center for years, enjoying being able to help people others only see as their animal side. You thought you might end up taking in one or two, what you didn’t expect however, was to take in 7.

Combined Beings ☆☆

mafia!ceo!bts x chubby!reader

You are bullied on a constant because korea’s beauty standards do not fit girls on the heavier side. the bullying gets worse once a ceo is attracted to you and he mentions you to the other 6.

Little Love

human seokjin! x human!oc x hybrid!ot6

Seokjin and Ayana are an engaged couple who are completely in love with each other. Then one day they stumbled upon two hybrids in need. They decided to help them, not knowing there were four others waiting for their mates to come back.

Snow Angel ♡

alphas!bts x omega!reader

After Yoongi and Jimin find a distressed omega in the mall they take her home in an attempt to settle her. Quickly getting attached, the whole all-alpha pack starts to wish to keep the girl around, going completely soft for her.

Emerald Gem

hybrid!bts x reader

Living away from society has its perks. All natural food from your thoroughly cultivated farm, no nosy neighbors, and peace and security with your animals. But sometimes you did get lonely, having no one to talk to but the cows and pigs. However, when 7 extremely wanted hybrids stumble upon your deserted farm, everything changes.

Stay Alive ♡

myth creatures!bts x reader

When you started working at a pharmaceutical company, you didn’t realize where it was your life was heading. After getting a patient mix up, you meet seven men who would didn’t seem to want any other nurse that wasn’t you. When you start to know them, you notice things that made you question if they were really human. No matter what excuse they would give though, you would always go home with a heavy heart. The day the truth is revealed to you, things take a turn for the worst.

(Un)natural Instincts

ot7 x ceo!reader

You and your assistant end up rescuing six wolf hybrids. No part of the process is easy.

Masked Miracles ♡

hybrid!bts x reader

It wasn't supposed to happen this way. A quick in and out. Infiltrate and bring down a hybrid trafficking ring. Saving lives while we're at it. But things hardly ever go to plan. And being locked in with seven hybrids that meant more to me than victims forced into a life they didn't deserve was definitely not according to the plan.

A Cute Blind Soul

ot7 x blind!oc | soulmate au

Selia Jones is blind since birth. After her parents were taken away, she has to live a completely different life and to make it worse, the universe had given her soulmates.

About Love ♡

hybrid!bts x writer!reader

Becoming a best selling thriller author? Part of the plan. Living in the city and isolating yourself from everyone? Part of the plan. Inheriting your late uncles home in the woods, his sassy assistant and fortune after he died mysteriously? Not part of the plan. Oh, and he failed to mention the 7 ‘surprises’ he left you as well.  And come to think of it… was his death an accident? Or is your imagination going wild again?

Prologue | CH 1 | CH 2 | CH 3

The Way Of a Criminal

gangster!bts x reader | mafia au

Your father was a stranger, you never knew who he was and what he did. But one day, someone knocks on your door, informing you of his passing. Now, you learn more about him, his life and the legacy you are expected to continue with the help of his 7 executives.

Tongue Tied ♡

wolf hybrid!bts x dog hybrid!reader

In which you're not supposed to be the solution for all of the problems- but maybe you're just that; the missing piece.

Lone Wolf

bts x reader | abo au

In a world where alphas, betas, and omegas live along side modern humans as second class citizens, you've fallen through the cracks of a society that wants to take everything wonderful from you. Luckily a timely encounter with the boys just might save your life.

Boyfriend For Hire ☆

bts x reader

Unsatisfied with your life was an understatement. Being under the thumb of your father can have that effect. He wanted someone capable of running the company, but you wanted to pursue your passion. Countless unwanted blind dates and the threat of losing your freedom drives you to seek help from a group of individuals you'd least expected.

The Old Guard

demon!bts x witch!reader | soulmates au

You are a powerful witch, cursed and hurt through ages. Owner of your esoteric shop, you were resigned to live this lonely life when the powerful magic of soulmates and fate came to you.

Let The Light In ♡

hybrid!bts x author!reader

In which you’re a famous children’s book writer, one evening after coming home from a diner with your parents you find seven unknown hybrids making themselves comfortable in your living room, what do you do now?

Protectors ①

mafia!bts x reader

Your boyfriends loved you very much. that being said, they promised to always be there to shield you in frightening situations - to be your protector, for the rest of your lifetime.

Little Dove ①

mafia!bts x reader

You were gentle, innocent, and pure. In simple words, the exact opposite of the cold-hearted and callous mafia members who fell for you in such a cliché manner.

Redamancy ♡

hybrid!bts x oc

When a ragtag pack of seven mismatched hybrids somehow ends up in the woods behind her home, she takes them in and does the one thing she never thought she would do. Own them. But, she also does something she didn't even think was possible. She fell in love with each and every one of them.

The Little Things ①

idol!bts x reader

You've never been more glad to have seven men by your side to help with your recovery. Even when times get tough you know they have your back.

The Plot Twist ♡

idol!bts x reader | soulmates au

Once upon a time you would have jumped at the chance to live the idol girlfriend life. The cameras, the action, the whirlwind romance. But what was once a dream has now become your worst nightmare, and you fully intend to fight the universe as it repeatedly conspires to set you up with your seven perfectly good soulmates from Bangtan Sonyeondan.In which we punt Y/N into all the fanfiction tropes and you do your feral best to subvert the love story.Because nani the fuck, you are The Plot Twist.

Hoodies ①

idol!bts x celeb!reader

When the boys are doing a v live, you know to keep away from the camera and stay quiet. and you never failed to do so before. so why is it that the time they all do a v live together, you accidentally leave your custom hoodie on the bed behind them?

Snowball Princess

bts x hybrid!reader

In which you've evolved from being a mere PR-stunt to becoming the most important thing in the lives of seven idols and millions of fans alike.

Like Crazy ♡

bts x reader

The story of seven loves across eight lives.

Mi Casa

bts x alpha!reader | omegaverse au

Sometimes you find your home, sometimes your home finds you.

The Fate of Hybrids ♡

hybrid!bts x reader

Fruits, Daisies, and a Sprinkle of Love ♡

bts x reader | soulmates au

A soul bond's archives is a shared space between soulmates, a safe space that allows the fated ones to share memories between themselves, a method commonly used to find each other without having to wait endlessly for luck to play its part. But when your own archives get tainted with pain due to bullies with too much time on their hands… Needless to say that despite you not knowing if you have soulmates, you begin to believe that maybe it's a good thing if you don't have any.

Trouvaille

hybrid!bts x reader

In a world where hybrids are both the hottest commodity and largely exploited, a recent shortage of hybrids nationwide due to the wealthy adopting for sport hunting dominates the news headlines. More than ever, stray hybrids are whisked off the streets and taken into shelters to meet the demand. Mistreated, neglected, forgotten – in a notoriously disreputable hybrid shelter in a pocket of downtown Boston, seven “aggressive” hybrids await their inevitable fate of being sold for sport.After years of trying to distance herself from her mystical past and upbringing, Y/N finds herself quitting her emotionally-draining job and is forced to face past mistakes. While accompanying her friends looking to adopt a child hybrid into their newly-formed family, Y/N inadvertently finds herself face-to-face with seven hybrids doomed to die. In a spur of the moment epiphany, Y/N decides to change the course of fate for the better; though bringing seven aggressive hybrids into her life and the darkening spiritual energy of her old home is trickier to navigate than she originally thought.

Caramel

dom!bts x sub!reader

You weren’t good at taking care of yourself. You knew it, everyone knows it. Too nervous, anxious, getting overwhelmed way too quickly…It was easy hiding it from the public eye, but they could see right through you. And they were decided on being your steadying hands.

The Love That You Want

idol!bts x death eater!reader | harry potter au

Your worst kept secret? You come from a long line of pureblood elitists.

Outside of the Fox

bts x reader

Y/N longs for a new life when the one she'd been living comes to an abrupt stop. Without much thought to those she is leaving behind, the little fox packs a backpack and disappears. She stumbles across the shelter and makes an interim home for herself while she works out exactly what she wants from her second chance.

Doughnuts and Shell Casings ♡

mafia!bts x reader | soulmates au

You finally gather the courage to leave your routine and do something different. your expectations are blown out of the water as you meet your soulmates in a less-than-expected way. 

Nymphet Garden ♡

fans!bts x idol!reader

He was just a fanboy, they got dragged into it, and so blooms your love story.

Do Not Tumble Dry ①

bts x reader | super fluff content

A spa day for the Bangtan pets.

Baby (you complete us) ♡

idol!bts x disabled MC | soulmates au

Soulmates were a common occurrence, so common, in fact, that the world sought an easier way to find your other half: A bracelet that would scan your mark and match you with those who shared your mark. Within recent years, soul groups were becoming normal, and your own bracelet said you have seven matches.  Or where you wear your bracelet for ten years, and finally give up the hope you would find your soul group, only for BTS to put theirs on and see what they were missing.

Dance of Time

vampire!bts x human reincarnated!reader

You were finally back in the hometown you left right after graduation, researching the mysterious manor that laid outside of the town limits. Your family was acting weird, and the owner of the manor seemed to know more about you than he should. Everything changed when you entered the manor, and you weren’t sure your dance with time was going to last very long.

Death Valley

bts x reader

A summer internship at a famous record label turns wild with blurry nights of dangerous men, dirty money, and extremely hot sex. you soon get caught in a savage game of greed, power and obsession, only to find out that you are the grand prize.

Guys that I'd kind of be into

idol!bts x broadway actress!reader

Being on broadway has always been your dream, and now that you’ve achieved just that as christine in “be more chill,” you’ve found it to be a lot harder than your younger self had expected. like, for example, the fact that dating might as well be out of the question. you definitely did not leave college to get distracted from your work... it kind of sucks that seven k-pop idols that you may or may not really like came to see your show and took a liking to you.

A Deal's a Deal

idol!bts x demon!reader

Before BTS became BTS in an act of desperation Jungkook makes a deal with you, a demon. After Namjoon finds out you’re the reason behind a significant number of unfortunate events they’ve gone through over the years he decides to take back their future by binding you under their control until they can figure out how to save Jungkook’s soul. Regardless, you’re going to feed off of their insecurities, lust, and souls to return your powers to you so you can make them all pay.

Wait, Little Rabbit!

bts x bunny hybrid!reader

You, a meek little bunny hybrid, find family amongst six predator hybrids and their lovely human caretaker.

Until Death ①

demon!bts x human!reader

Until death do you part, you are theirs and they are yours.

Wolves are (NOT) Scary

werewolf!bts x reader

All Y/N wants to do is find her creativity and motivation but she finds 7 werewolves instead.

Pastel Snowflake Kisses ①

bts x reader

They had never made much of a fuss about christmas...until you came into the picture.

Yearning

hybrid!bts x reader

Out of Love ♡

bts x f!reader

Everything was perfect, or at least you thought it was. What happens when you break up with your 7 boyfriends and have to deal with the aftermath of it all?

To Love Min Yoongi

idol!ot7 x witch!reader | yoongi focus x reader

You were a villainess destined to be with seven stars. Your cliche Reincarnation AU.

Can't Wait to See You Again ♡

idol!fan!bts x youtuber!reader

The one where Jungkook develops a huge crush on a Youtuber he found after falling into the rabbit hole of his recommended videos. Unbeknownst to him, you were also recommended to his hyungs.

[KSJ]

The A-Listers

actor!jin x famous!reader

Meet Y/N and Jin, two of Hollywood's hottest celebrities and couple — or are they? Media and fans have been wanting to hear a confirmation for years now. But you two are always good at confusing everyone. Watch as everyone else play this guessing game of what's the relationship between Y/N and Jin.

[MYG]

What yoongi wants, yoongi gets ①

idol!yoongi x reader

The one where the cat is actually yours, but yoongi somehow worms his way into the family.

[JHS]

[KNJ]

[PJM]

Filtering Light ♡

human!jimin x bunny-hybrid!reader x human!jungkook

The reader is a bunny hybrid with a past that has left her traumatized and struggling to heal. some things can be helped with therapy, but some things can only be fixed through realizing you're not all of the things that hurt you—you are, in fact, just loved.

[KTH]

[JJK]

Hold On ①

jungkook x reader | established relationship

A night where jungkook just wants to give, give and give and he wants you to realize that you can take it all.

At Your Service ☆

escort!jeongguk x ceo!reader | strangers-to-lovers au

Filtering Light

human!jungkook x bunny-hybrid!reader x human!jimin

The reader is a bunny hybrid with a past that has left her traumatized and struggling to heal. some things can be helped with therapy, but some things can only be fixed through realizing you're not all of the things that hurt you—you are, in fact, just loved.

In Which | collection 1 | collection 2 ♡

idol!jungkook x reader | drabble collection

Domestic Daydreams ①

influencer!jk x f. reader

A window into the life of jeon jungkook

Fish-wife or No-wife ①

idol!jk x f.reader

Did Jungkook have a wife? The rumor mill had been churning for years, divided on this one topic. He was a successful worldwide pop star who was always seen with a different lady on his arm, as he flitted from country to country enjoying his prolific career. The reason for the lingering suspicion was a cryptic social media post showing a picture of 2 kids who shared the same exact eyes and smile as him. So in fact, if he truly did have a wife, who was she? And why had the public never seen her? Perhaps she didn't wish to be seen.

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['21 ARCHIVE] | ['22 ARCHIVE] | ['24 ARCHIVE]

[riaarivic]

HATE 1: Omen (M) I MYG x F!reader

🌙 Pairings YoongixReader

🌙 Genres Mafia!AU, Smut, Angst, Action, Thriller, Enemies to lovers

🌙 Rating 18+ minors DNI

🌙 Summary  You were an INTERPOL Agent assigned to infiltrate the depths of the most powerful Gang in South Korea: The Seven Moons. Your objective: to impersonate the daughter of one of their leaders and destroy the operation from within. That is, if they don't discover you first.

And Traitors won’t have the mercy of a quick death

🌙 Warnings For this chapter: mentions of death and vioence, foul language

🌙 Chapter wordcount 831

🌙 Series Index

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

🌙 HATE 1: Omen 🌙

Heartbeat pulsing slow in my ears. Bump, bump, bump

You were running.

Running like a bat out of hell, darting across the rooftops of a hidden neighborhood within the heart of Seoul. Adrenaline coursed through your veins, propelling you forward as if the demos from your worst nightmares were snapping at your heels.

Don't look down, fuck.

You could hear your heartbeat in your ears and the footsteps of the men who were chasing yoy. They were getting closer to you at a speed greater than you could possibly run.

They were going to catch you. 

Your heart pounded louder with each passing second, and the relentless footsteps of the men behind you grew ever closer. They were like shadows, ominously encroaching on your escape route. You couldn't help but think of how it all went down just a few minutes ago. 

For a second you have to fight your brain’s urge to yell, "Parkour!" when you jump from the railings from a staircase to a rooftop – even though it would've been hilarious under different circumstances.

    "Focus, Y/N," you muttered under your breath.

This was definitely not supposed to happen this way.

This wasn't how things were supposed to play out, and you knew it. Against your better judgment, your instincts, and the damn training you'd gone through, you'd made every wrong move that led you to this edge.

You knew your options were running out and you couldn't keep running forever.

Trying to escape with no avail. Jump, jump, jump.

The road was over.

The road ahead had run its course, leaving you with nothing but a drop of a hundred meters straight down to the Han River. Below it’s waters ran dark, icy and unforgiving. 

If you fell, you would fall to a cold painful death.

And fuck, how you hated the cold.

You needed a plan, and you needed it fast, because right now your options were to end the day with a bullet to the head or be found gray and cold floating on the banks of the Han river by the police.

No, it wouldn't be a swift, merciful death.

"Traitors don't deserve the mercy of a quick death."

Those were the chilling words of the former leader of The Clan. Once they sounded like a cautionary tale, now they were a promise.

One last bad decision? Choose, you can't keep running.

You came to an abrupt halt and faced the men who had brought you to this.

The mission had failed. Your cover was blown.

"This is how you die, Y/N." you thought to yourself. You always knew you’d have a violent end. But never thought you would meet death by the hands of someone you loved.

That was the harsh truth. Everything that had the microscopic chance to not go as planned had gone up in flames, then gone wrong.

Like washing your hair the next day you bleached it - wrong.

Like stealing from your mom - wrong.

Like trying to put stilettos on a horse – wrong.

You get it, right?

Because now, you'd rather die to protect them. 

The very people you were initially sent to destroy. The same people you were supposed to despise with every fiber of your being, all because you were an agent of the law, and they were criminals.

But that was then, and this is now.

Now, you were willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to buy more time and help them.

Now, you'd choose death over something happening to him.

No song affects me anymore. Crying out a silent cry

“Choose, die in his hands or in yours” again the voice in your head reminded you that you had no real choice anymore. 

You dropped your weapon and raised your hands. His eyes remained cold, anger and pain swirling like a tempest in dark his irises. But the rest of his face remained inscrutable.

And he kept pointing his gun at you.

He took a step closer without breaking eye contact, the cold steel of his gun pressing against your temple. He removed the safety and eased off the trigger, not enough to fire.

His hands trembled.

For an instant, you saw your own emotions mirrored in his eyes.

Pure hatred.

Hatred for himself, hatred for you – for making him love you, then betraying him.

And something else that was enough to break you. 

Sadness.

You could handle the scorching heat of his hate. Forever if necessary.

But couldn’t stand another second watching how a single cold tear ran down his cheek. 

You didn’t deserve to break his heart. 

"Do it, you have to." You whispered so softly you weren’t sure he heard you. 

The thing was, you knew he didn't want to kill you; he simply couldn't.

And neither could his brothers.

But you had it coming. You'd shattered their trust, broken every rule and code. Betrayed all the oaths you'd sworn.

You broke your oath as an Interpol agent when you started lying to your team to protect them.

And then you broke your oath to them when you exposed their clan to the police.

You'd pledged allegiance to them, wearing their mark on your forearm. And you knew you could’t lie to yourself and say it was because of the mission. 

"You have to... If he can't, you have to. It's the only way to keep them all safe." you thougts were frantic. But you knew there was no other way. 

You took a step back, still locked in that intense stare, and in that brief moment, he realized your intentions.

You offered him one last smile, then let yourself plummet into the void.

Ocean with all light silenced, shut, yeah, yeah, yeah. My wandering feet held in a rut, yeah, yeah, yeah.

"No!" The anguished screams of the seven men echoed in your ears as you fell.

Their terrified faces would haunt your dreams for eternity.

"I hope you can forgive me." That was your last thought before you faded into darkness.

At what point had everything gone to hell?

When had the deepest hatred transformed into love?

And what was worse, the kind of love worth dying for.

Every noise and sound's been cut yeah, yeah, yeah. Killin' me now, killin' me now. Do you hear me yeah.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙 So, Hi. Hello How are you? 

I decided I will translate this fic from my original language (Spanish) and post it from wattpad. This is a whole series and I will be changing a few things from the original plot; you can feel free to read it if you want to

Here: Odio || BTS || SUGA x OC x RM || MAFIA AU

I am very proud of this chapter btw 😅 And it feels kind of weird, because most of the times when I reread something i wrote in the past I feel the sudden urge of washing my eyes with bleach and erase it from the face of Eath, forever. 

I’m kind of new to posting on Tumblr (Yeah, in 2023) so I will be editing in a while to make reading easier!! If you want to like and reblog that would be highly appreciated and thank You so much for your feedback!!