#but ultimately i want mika is trust in his own thoughts and feelings

[shreddedleopard]

Thoughts on chapter 137, and why it makes complete sense and cements the themes and lessons of Attack on Titan.

I have so many thoughts, I just want to word vomit them out at a million miles an hour, but I’ll try to do this in some sort of order and not my usual chaotic mess.

Attack on Titan is about family and belonging, and THIS is the dream that Ymir was drunk on. This is ‘that scenery.’

Ymir, the founder, just wants to belong somewhere. With someone. She wants to be loved and valued as a person, not as a slave; not as someone who merely fulfils a role. In the latest chapter, Zeke explains how he failed to understand her, but Eren did.

Look at Eren’s words to Ymir in this moment, several chapters earlier:

All Ymir has ever wanted is to be held. To be loved like a person. To feel that connection because of who she is, not the role she fulfils.

Eren understands this, in contrast to Zeke, who once again tries to impose her role upon her:

Ymir has been hanging around in paths all this time, unable to fully die and let her consciousness pass on to the next world, because she needs to find this thing that she’s been searching for since the start of the story.

It’s not just about romantic love. It’s about connection. That sense of being understood and belonging with someone else, whether that be romantically, platonically, as family ... we keep seeing the same theme brought up throughout the entire manga.

Who else is a character that constantly searches for the same thing? Mikasa.

She has so many parallels and yet also opposites with Ymir. Ymir is told she is a slave, she obeys the king, that is her role. And she accepts it. Because she believes that it’s the only way to find happiness; to find this belonging she’s been craving. However, unlike Ymir, who does not truly love the king, I believe that Mikasa does truly love Eren - what form that takes doesn’t necessarily matter to me at this point. It’s just about connection.

Whether Eren feels the same, tragically for him, doesn’t matter. Because Eren knows he is destined to be the one to end the cycle of hatred and free Ymir. And that will ultimately cost him his life. That is why, when Zeke asks him what he will do about Mikas’s affections - which have nothing to do with her bloodline and everything to do with him - Eren cannot answer. That choice has sadly been taken from him.

When Eren asks Mikasa what she is to him, I think he genuinely wants to know at that point. I think he cares about her so deeply and wants to know she feels the same way, and it’s not just about him being ‘her saviour’. But as we’ve seen before, Eren cannot afford to stop for too long and dwell in the moment, because he must push on towards freedom - the freedom of Ymir and the Eldian people from the curse of the Titans.

This brings his conversation around the table with Armin, Mikasa and Gabi into a whole new light. Eren insults his friends in an attempt to push them away from him - because he knows he won’t be around to live that ‘long, happy life’ with them. So instead, he wants to push them to confront their feelings in the arms of others. He pushes Armin to really consider what Annie means to him, and for Mikasa, I believe that Eren intends her to perhaps look towards Jean, who is truly willing to give her the love she has always sought from Eren. Because again, so tragically, Eren will not be around to provide that for her - regardless of whether it’s something he wants or not. His own wishes no longer matter on the path he has been set upon.

Back to Ymir. Eren tells her, he will put an end to this world:

He doesn’t mean the human world; the living world. He means the world of paths, where Ymir is trapped, unable to let go of the souls of dead Eldians, because she’s still searching for that connection she craves so much. Her paths world is an attempt to quell that feeling of loneliness she’s been plagued with, but ironically, she’s more lonely than ever, stuck there, serving the bloodline she’s created from a place of misery and duty, rather than love.

The rumbling and the destruction of Marley is a very tragic consequence of what Eren has to do to put an end to the curse of the Titans. He’s searched for another way to no avail; we’ve seen his remorse when he apologises to Halil or Ramsey in chapter 131:

I think the anger and devastation that’s unleashed in the rumbling, is a result of the hurt and mistreatment both Eren and Ymir have felt at points in their lives.

Eren understands that to destroy the paths realm, first this devastation is necessary, because he’s seen it in his future memories, despite the conflicting feelings it’s evoked from him - he doesn’t really want to destroy humanity outside of the walls, but his own future is telling him that he must and he will. But it’s not Eren’s emotions that drive this initial destruction - it is Ymir’s. These emotions are no different in nature than the ones that Eren felt in response to Armin’s childhood bullies - that sense of unfairness and need to lash out at oppressors - but tragically, unlike Eren who in that moment of intense, irrational emotion had only his fists to vent and release, Ymir is in possession of one of the most terrible and destructive weapons there is - hordes of colossal Titans. And in that moment where Eren finally gives her that validation she has been searching for, and allows her that feeling of release from the duty she’s felt she needed to fulfil for thousands of years, Ymir releases that frustration and anger too and sends them walking.

This theme of the oppressor and oppressed switching places in an endless cycle of revenge and stealing from others what has been stolen from you is a theme that we see repeated throughout not only the AOT manga, but also soundtrack and additional content too.

Eren was right that it would be Armin that saves humanity - because Armin is the one that makes the connection in paths - he understands what is being shown to him with the leaf - and tragically, it actually highlights how, even up until the very end, Eren and Armin knew each other very well. Eren trusted Armin to make sense of what he’s had to do - even if it’s only Ymir that he understands, because while Eren is the one to give Ymir her freedom and unleash this terrible devastation, Armin is the one who must stop it.

But how does this idea of family and connection tie in to the rest of the events in the chapter, and wider manga, and what’s up with Historia’s pregnancy? And how is paths going to be destroyed, if the rumbling has been stopped and Ymir is free, but the Titans are still around?

This is where the rest of our cast fit in - namely Zeke, Levi, Historia and Reiner. If my theory is correct.

Eren gave Ymir the validation she needed and that sense of connection, freeing her from her role, and this bought that final bit of time needed for Historia to give birth to her child. Why is Historia’s child important? Because it is the ‘new dawn’ we’ve seen foreshadowed repeatedly throughout the series. The birth of a new history. And this comes in the form of a new bloodline, no longer infected with ‘parasite’ of the founding Titan.

Unlike Ymir’s bloodline, which stemmed from a place of duty and slavery - as she was ordered by the king to take ‘his seed’, and carried the parasite of the creature that bound to her within the depths of the tree, creating the paths realm and an almost purgatory type space free of death or heaven or earth or anything, Historia’s bloodline will be ‘cleaned’ because of the genes of the child’s father. And not only this, it will be born out of a moment of love and connection, rather than duty. This new combination will make it impossible for a child of the royal bloodline to become a Titan. There will be no coordinate - no link for Ymir from her paths realm to the living world, because the last link to her bloodline - a Titan with royal blood - will no longer exist.

This really brings home the gravity of the moment where Levi cuts Zeke down - he’s the last of the royal Titans, but the reader knows Historia’s baby is about to be born - will they inherit the Titan, and the cycle will re-start?

They will not. The cycle will be broken with them, because - and here’s where it gets wild - Historia’s child is not a Fritz, or a Reiss - they are an Ackerman. They physically cannot turn.

Why does all this fit in symbolically? Let me draw your attention to the genre of Seikaikei.

Attack on Titan uses this idea with our two Ackermans.

We have both endings. Eren and Mikasa, our bittersweet ending, where Eren ultimately chooses the fate of humanity over his relationships with Mikasa and Armin, and Levi, who, in a moment of selfishness, allows himself to put aside his role for a night - probably at the railroad banquet, where he was supposed to be making sure the likes of Eren and Yelena were kept apart - and indulges in this connection that he’s formed with Historia. You can read my 10 reasons post if you want to for why the heck I would think these two would form a deep bond - it’s all there in the Uprising Arc. They have been the same as Ymir - yearning for a sense of love and connection, but bound by roles neither of them asked for or particularly wanted - reluctant heroes comes to mind. Remember how freckled Ymir’s parting wish was for Historia to live for herself?

The result is an accidental pregnancy which, ironically enough, is what is going to annihilate the curse of the Titans and save the world. How poetic that the Titans will not be ‘driven out’ by hate, violence, and destruction, but instead by love, connection and new life.

Remember Kenny and Uri’s miracle?

Kenny and Uri’s chapter, ‘Friends’, was exactly halfway back into the manga. History moves in repeating cycles in AOT, and we see things change slightly each time, on this journey to freedom. At this point, the Ackermans and royals were one step away from where they needed to get to in order to build this paradise - and Levi and Historia complete the cycle by becoming ‘lovers,’ tragically, the thing that Eren and Mikasa could not become, because Eren had to undertake the rumbling and be the one to free Ymir from her sorrow and loneliness. She can make the choice now - will she fight to be reborn as Historia’s child - fight for dominance with the Ackerman bloodline - or will she concede, finally laid to rest because the cycle has been broken by two people that love one another, just like the couple Ymir saw long ago and wished for.

Remember how Eren asked Zeke whether the ackermans act the way they do from a place of duty or genuine feelings? He needed to check it was the real deal that would break the curse, and finally lay Ymir to rest peacefully, after 2,000 years of hatred and searching. She will see that her descendant, Historia, finally has what she always dreamed of. That idea of dreams pushing us onwards - Ymir’s dream is realised through Historia and Levi.

As for the parasite itself? I believe Reiner will be the one to lock it in a Crystal prison with himself, deep underground.

A new dawn will come, and a new world will be built from the ashes of the old.

[marshmallowprotection]

Do you still like V after the events of Saeran's after end? Do you think he's horribly OOC in there or do think he's in character?

I hear so many V stans say he's out of character but I dont think so. It you consider what he's done in the Christmas DLC, in Another Story, and in the main routes of Deep/Casual story he's always been obsessed with Rika and always keeps making bad decisions (or keeps procrastinating making a decision) because he's unwiling to priortitize the RFA over Rika. Ray's after end is just a timeline where he decides to stop hesitating and fully commit to his obsession with Rika. Its him making the worst decisions possible.

If anything, its V's own route that feels OOC because I feel like there's too little chance he would stop obsessing over Rika and fall in love with someone else. But those are just my own thoughts and opinions. I'm curious to hear yours.

Personally, I said this when I was going through my initial reaction to Saeran’s AE so you could read that series if you haven’t already because I put it down in a lot more blatant detail. I’ll leave this free from this tag, though, don’t want to add dislike over there when I know a lot of people are hurt and upset. So, let me just say, SPOILERS AHEAD.

I have to say that I don’t think he was out of character. I sincerely don’t. I think was the game showing us truly how far V is willing to go for Rika and how far he had already gone for Rika. Listen, V’s not my favorite person in the world but I’d say that he went through a lot in his life and he has such a specific personality type that we can’t disregard. Both he and Rika were wrong in their relationship with each other. They both did wrong things. 

V is a victim of Rika’s abuse, that is for sure, but V did say and push Rika to lean more into her more violent thoughts. It had a lot to do with his warped sensibility and what he was dealing with on his own, from his mother, to how his personal understanding of love was twisted and fractured. He said it himself in his route that he was obsessed with Rika and that he would do anything for Rika because that love was an infatuation stronger than any drug. 

The Secret Ending, for example. He was willing to come and get everyone from the cabin. I don’t know what he thought was going to happen when he did that or if anyone would trust him. He’s got such a martyr complex that it pains me and I wish he valued himself more and admitted that he needed to stop this and just talk about what help he needed. I understand that it’s fucked up, and all of this is complicated because the boys cannot be found by the government. 

But, he could have told Jumin. 

He could have done a lot of things but he hesitated and got scared and tried to blame himself and do it on his own. He doesn’t want Rika to die. He doesn’t want Rika to go to prison. He doesn’t want Rika to suffer. Yet, he’s seeing how she’s hurting others and hurting herself and spiraling, and... sometimes it’s hard for me to understand why he lied. He doesn’t know about Mika, the AE said that as a fact, and I don’t know when he found out about Mint Eye. 

But, he lies to cover Rika’s tracks? Is it for Saeran, V? Or, is it for Rika? I’m really concerned that I don’t know the answer here. I know that he tries to help save Saeran and get him out, he really does, but he always hesitates and he always reaches and fails, and I don’t know if that’s because he’s doing it to himself by self-sabotaging or because he legitimately doesn’t know how to get him out. 

V’s greatest struggle in life is how indecisive and unsure he is. He frustrates me a lot. I see where he could find himself and where he could open up and be a good person and be happy. I see it. But, he won’t let himself let go and Rika and he keeps burning as Icarus does as he reaches out for the sun. 

In this timeline, we see how deeply V can go if he lets himself commit to that state with Rika. In Ray’s Route, Jihyun saw us commit ourselves to Saeran and believe in him, and forgive him, and forgive Ray for what happened. However, it was our choice to forgive them... and you know the difference between what went down with Saeran and what goes down with Rika? Saeran was willing to say that he fucked up and that he needed to stop, that he needed to grow, and that he needed to change. 

He apologized and he said that if you gave him a chance, he would love you and protect you. You accept that, but he’s still going to be working on that for a long time in his heart because he knows what he did. His willingness and capacity to grow and admit fault make him mature and respectable. Rika is never willing to admit her wrongdoings. 

You saw that play out in Saeran’s AE from minute one and you can’t ignore that fact. When Jihyun went back to Rika. And, you know what I personally thought was going to happen? I thought he was going to take Rika, leave the country, and fucking run and never look back. I thought that he was going to take all of her sufferings and place it upon himself so nobody would ever be hurt again sans himself because he “thinks he deserves to be punished by her hand for what he did.” 

However, no. 

V did not do that. 

V decided that he would fully immerse himself in Rika. He decided that the best thing to do was to take the wrong lesson from what he saw with Saeran and the MC. He stood by Rika thinking that if he pushed or tried hard enough to let her be himself instead of forcing her to be something else, maybe she would have a breakthrough like Saeran did. However, he couldn’t do that and let her go to jail, could he? Nope. So he had to make a deal with the devil. For Rika’s freedom and happiness, he had to hurt everyone. 

He himself says in one of the floating space thoughts that he needed to research how to commit himself to that. V admits that he knows that he’s wrong to go this far with Rika, both of them admit that they know they’re wrong and that they knew it was wrong from the start. 

We can see him on Day 3 with moments where he is... showing this guilt again and showing us that side of him that we saw before he cracked and committed to his fate with Rika. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like they’re dating or anything here, he’s merely giving Rika what she wants because he thinks it will help her and right what went wrong. It doesn’t. They’re both living in her fantasy for her sake. Rika’s selfish wish is a family where they pretend nobody was hurt and if she gets that... well, that’s one of the BEs. 

V has been enabling a lot of her darker thoughts from the start, and for a while, he realized that he had to do something and he tried to do something by trying to go and remove Saeran from that place, but in the end, he felt like there was nothing left for him to do but commit to Rika and suffer in that selfish wish. V is willing to do anything for Rika, even hurt others when it comes down to it. He hurt the RFA and he betrayed them for RIka. 

This is the worst-case scenario for the kind of person that V can become, and I don’t think it was out of character, I think it was just an aggressive reminder of how far you can fall if you let yourself give up and decide to burn all of the bridges that you have for someone that isn’t good for you. I think what I never expected was the fact that V was there when Mother Choi was killed. I never thought he was there. 

I thought he either suspected it or learned well beyond the fact. But, no, he was there, he helped her move the body. He lied and covered her tracks and that was the moment that Rika herself said that she gave up on everything and fully committed to what she and Mika were planning on doing. 

So, from when V started to enable her in the wrong ways by telling her revel in a devil, to the murder (even though it was a self-defense case, it was still traumatic to blackout and cut someone to save your own life), to Mika and the plans for the cult. It was a recipe for disaster. I never thought that V was there when it happened. That just... 

That revelation to me, his willingness to drug Saeyoung, his willingness to let the brothers suffer for Rika’s happiness... this is revealing how far V could go for the person that we all know as Rika. The situation doesn’t always call for V to go and do something to this degree, but there’s no denying that V is a complicated character with a lot of weight on his shoulders. 

He was never my favorite but... I can’t disregard what has been written and that I don’t feel like it was OOC. I just think it was showing us a reality where he could go too far. I realize that not many people are going to agree with me on this front and that’s okay. I don’t hate V. V fucked up a lot and there’s no denying that, I just wish that he never went back to Rika and he came to us for help in the first place. 

I guess this is a bit more lengthy than I intended, haha. This isn’t to be mean to anyone that thinks differently than me. I really don’t want to get into arguments or anything over this. So, please, no discourse over this. 

TLDR; This is just a reality where V went over the edge, and it’s just a possible timeline where he could lose himself to what he long tried to push back against but he ultimately gave up on himself and let himself be fully committed to Rika’s selfish wish. You can see the guilt and exhaustion in his eyes but he just lets himself become the villain because it’s the only way to protect Rika from suffering and the only way to “kind of” protect the boys. 

[darylwillfightnatureforcarol]

Saving Her Chapter 2

Here is the second and final part to this little fic. Hope you guys enjoyed it. 

Description: Carol and the little group return to Alexandria. Finally, Daryl and her have a talk and reach some kind of resolution. 

Saving Her

The odd group returned to Alexandria in record time. Carol and Lydia in the front and Daryl pushing Negan along in the back.

Negan had begged Carol, as they walked, to back up the story he had told Daryl about killing Alpha. Though she really didn’t feel like saying much of anything at the time, she had told Daryl that he was telling the truth. Daryl hadn’t looked at her fully, but he had nodded to acknowledge her words.

He still didn’t untie Negan. He told his prisoner that the council would decide his fate once they heard the new developments. Negan had protested but ultimately had no choice but to continue walking with his hands bound.

Carol watched the gate slide open, revealing Gabriel. His eyes immediately settled on Negan. There was a hard look there. Carol moved inside, Lydia following at her side, while Daryl shoved Negan forwards. Gabriel closed the gate tightly before turning to regard them all again. He looked to Daryl.

Daryl set about explaining that Negan had killed Alpha and that he claimed to have only joined up with her in order to kill her. He added that he believed Negan should go back to the cell until the council could talk. Negan did not look happy about that, but for once, kept his mouth shut.

Carol noticed how Daryl never mentioned her involvement at all. Not how she had let Negan out nor that she had plotted with him.

Gabriel nodded at Daryl’s recommendation and told Daryl to leave the prisoner with him. The little group left Negan behind as they headed towards their home.

Daryl had stormed off ahead of them and Lydia fell into step beside him, trying to match his large strides. Carol followed behind them, dragging her feet.

She was waiting for the confrontation to happen. She knew he was pissed at her. Again. That’s all she seemed to do nowadays. Piss him off.

Daryl opened the front door of their house and let Lydia pass before him. Carol expected him to slip inside too once the girl had gone in. Instead, he continued to hold the door open. Waiting for her, she realised. Her stomach jolted as she watched him stand there expectantly. She had thought he’d disappear the first chance he got.

She quickly climbed the stairs and glanced at him before entering the house. He avoided her gaze. The door closed quietly behind them.

Lydia was standing in the foyer watching them both quietly. She walked over to Daryl soon. Carol watched Daryl break the stare he had been giving her to look at Lydia. The girl gave him a smile before reaching up to hug him. He accepted her hug without protest, rubbing his hand up and down her back.

“I’m so glad you’re okay. I lost sight of you in the battle and was really worried,” Lydia said, her words muffled by Daryl’s chest.

Daryl patted her back gently but didn’t answer her.

Lydia pulled back from him soon with another little smile.

“I’m going to head to bed,” she announced, looking at them both in turn.

Daryl nodded at her. Carol managed to nod her own head, unsure if the girl really cared about her response anyway.

Lydia began to walk off, but she paused when she reached Carol. Carol watched her look her up and down before the girl reached out and grabbed her hand. She gave Carol a look that was almost a smile as she squeezed her hand. After a beat, she dropped it and continued on her way to her bedroom. Leaving Carol and Daryl alone.

Her heart began to beat wildly in her chest, waiting for the questions and accusations to come.

“You should go get some rest,” he said, surprising her.

She blinked and opened and closed her mouth.

“But…” she started but he cut her off.

“Think we’ve all had a hard night,” he said, finally meeting her eyes. He looked exhausted and not just physically. She knew a lot of that was her fault.

“We’ll talk later,” he added with a meaningful look. His tone booked no argument.

Carol gave him a nod, in disbelief that she was being granted a bit of a reprieve. She turned to the stairs to head to her room, but his voice called to her again.

“Please, don’t hurt yourself,” he begged in a small voice.

She turned around to look at him again and she could see the pain in his eyes. She understood now that he was trusting her to have some time to herself. Even though she didn’t deserve that trust.

“I won’t,” she vowed quietly, feeling tears pricking behind her eyes.

Daryl nodded at her and he chewed his lip before he slipped downstairs, his limp becoming more pronounced. Carol stood there for a while after he disappeared before she finally ascended the stairs to her room.

--

In the hours Carol spent in her room, she had showered and attended to the few injuries she had sustained in the battle at Hilltop. A few minor burns and scrapes. Then, she had collapsed on her bed, falling into a fitful sleep.

She had woken only two hours later with a gasp, the dream she had been in the grips of unclear. She could remember though, that there had been many people involved. Henry, Sophia, Sam, Lizzie and Mika. Even Alpha had been present, she remembered. Carol could feel tears drying on her face.

She stood from the bed and moved to the bowl of water on the vanity. She washed her face thoroughly and used a hand towel to dry it.

Carol knew she was delaying the inevitable. She needed to head downstairs and face the music. With that thought, she brushed her hands over her fresh clothes and opened her bedroom door. She shut it behind her gently and hesitated at the top of the stairs. She started down them, feeling her heart pounding.

Carol didn’t let herself pause in her journey, she just continued down the next set of stairs until she came face to face with Daryl’s door. She raised her hand and dropped it again a few times. She shook her head at herself. The longer she dragged it out, the worse it would be. Gulping in a deep breath, she rapped lightly on the door and waited, holding her breath.

She heard footsteps and then the door was swinging inwards to reveal a, still, tired looking Daryl. He had visibly showered and changed too. Well, his shirt, at least. He still wore his ratty old trousers. She couldn’t help the twitch of her lips.

“Hey,” he greeted her in his gravelly voice. His eyes had lost some of their edge, but it was still there.

“Hey,” she replied meekly.

Carol knew it was stupid, but part of her expected him to slam the door in her face. Even though she knew he had been waiting on her, it still seemed too good to be true that he wanted to talk to her at all.

Daryl opened the door wider and stepped back to give her room to enter. She did so gingerly, feeling unwelcome in his space. She watched Daryl close the door and turn to face her. Carol waited, not knowing how this was supposed to play out.

Daryl sighed and moved over to the couch. He took a seat, wincing a little as his leg bent. He looked at her again and patted the space next to him in invitation. Carol didn’t hesitate to cross to the couch and sit next to him tensely.

She looked around the room, using it as an excuse to not have to look at him. Her gaze zeroed in on the double capped acorns sitting on his table. It serves to make her smile in spite of the situation. She hadn’t thought he’d really keep them.

Her smile drops quickly.

Next to the acorns is her gun.

She looks down again, feeling guilt eat at her. The room is deathly silent for a painfully long time.

“Please say something,” she can’t help begging, unable to take the quiet any longer.

She hears him huff.

“What do you want me to say?”

Carol turns her head to look at him. His eyes are tired, and his mouth is downturned. His fingers are playing with the bandage on his thigh.

“Anything. Whatever you want,” she answered, “You can yell at me if you want.”

Daryl chews his lip and shakes his head.

“Ain’t gonna yell at ya. No point even if I wanted to. Seems you already decided what you want.”

Carol flinched and Daryl sighed again.

“If you’re that set on going, there’s nothin’ I can do to stop ya. God knows, I’ve tried,” he said, shaking his head, a dejected look in his eyes.

Carol felt her guilt intensify and she swallowed heavily.

“I’ve tried everythin’ to try to get ya back,” Daryl continued in a frustrated tone. He wasn’t looking at her, just staring ahead. He nodded to himself before flicking his eyes back to her. “Way I see it, it’s gotta be your choice. You’ve gotta decide for yourself.”

His words hit her, and she felt their weight. She owed him the truth at least. She owed him much more than that, but honesty was all she had to offer.

“I got lost. Out there in the woods. I was… Trapped. Inside my own head,” she started, looking down at her hands. “My subconscious was torturing me.”

She finally looked at Daryl and their eyes met. He had already been watching her.

“That’s what got me to that point,” she told him, and he didn’t make an attempt to reply. He just kept watching her, listening intently to her words.

“I’d like to think that I wouldn’t have pulled the trigger if Lydia hadn’t shown up. Honestly, I don’t know,” she confessed.

She could see the sadness in Daryl’s eyes at the revelation. He looked down with such disappointment that it choked her up momentarily. Carol sucked in a breath and let it out on a sigh.

“When I saw Alpha’s head? When I held it? I waited for the feeling of satisfaction. For those feelings that have been eating at me to disappear.”

She shook her head.

“They didn’t. That’s when I knew that no matter what I did, it wasn’t going to get better.”

Daryl gave her a stricken look.

“Don’t say that,” he begged in a broken voice. There were unshed tears in his eyes.

Carol felt her own eyes water seeing him so upset. Daryl sucked in a breath before he spoke again.

“I can’t lose you.”

Carol gaped at him. She had not expected him to say that. Anything like that. She had been waiting for the moment he told her he was done dealing with her shit. Now, unbelievably, she realised that it was not the case. He still wanted her around. It was like a great weight lifted from her heart at the knowledge. She had been so sure she had lost him for good.

Carol was unable to stop her tears now. They flowed freely down her cheeks and obscured her vision. Daryl looked alarmed by her sudden burst of emotion. He leaned towards her, as if he wanted to reach out to her. He didn’t though.

She knew she had to reassure him. To let him know she wasn’t going to try to kill herself again. She couldn’t. Not now that she knew he still wanted her to be here.

“You won’t lose me,” she spoke in her tearful voice.

Daryl seemed to be hanging onto her every word.

“I won’t try again. I’ll stay… For you,” she continued, adding on the last part as an afterthought. He should know that was the reason.

The relief in his eyes was immense and he let out a choked breath. Then he was pulling her to him, in a hug that felt like it was knitting her together again. Carol buried her head in his shoulder, breathing in the scent of the plain, generic soap that most people used in Alexandria. His hand started massaging into her loose curls.

“I need your help,” she murmured against him, feeling relief at finally admitting it. “Will you help me?”

She was amazed that she had managed to utter the words. She had been running away from him for so long. But she was tired of running and she knew now that it wouldn’t help anything. Daryl didn’t stop his hand’s motion on the back of her head as he replied.

“I’ll help ya,” he agreed softly in her ear. “Jus’ tell me what you need.”

Carol frowned at his response.

What did she need?

She wasn’t sure if she knew really.

She pulled away from the hug to face him again. Their positions were much closer now and it seemed like the rift that had existed between them had evaporated. Daryl’s face held infinite patience as he waited for her answer.

“I don’t think I trust myself anymore. To make the right decisions, I mean,” Carol admitted shamefully. “I feel like I’m crazy sometimes. I… See things.”

Daryl’s eyes held no judgement as her words continued to tumble out. Carol bit her lip before continuing.

“I think, if I knew you were there beside me, supporting me, it would help to quiet the voices I hear. The ghost’s I see.”

Daryl didn’t hesitate to start nodding.

“I’ll always be there for ya. Long as ya want me.”

Carol’s stomach jittered at that.

“I don’t know how long that will be. Might be a long time,” she felt she needed to warn him.

He didn’t seem deterred at all.

“Don’t matter to me. Told ya, I ain’t going nowhere. Been tryin’ to tell ya that all along. Ya just weren’t listenin’,” he said with a hint of frustration.

Carol could see that now. Not just these past few months but going back years. After Terminus and before they reached Alexandria. He’d been reaching out to her, offering to take on her pain. She just wouldn’t let him.

“I know. I’m sorry. I just get so stuck in my head. It’s hard to think about what’s real and what’s my own insecurities and fears,” she told him.

Daryl hummed and chewed his lip.

“If you really want my help, I think you can’t keep hiding shit anymore. You told me a long time ago, after Terminus, that ya didn’t wanna talk about it,” he said and there was a lot of hesitation in his eyes as he spoke. Like he was worried about her reaction.

“I think you gotta,” he finished, watching her, those nerves still visible.

She sighed and looked skyward for a beat before looking at him again.

“You’re right. I’ve been avoiding it for so long. Thinking that if I don’t mention it, it will just go away. It hasn’t. Every time something bad happens, it just piles up on top of the old pain.”

Daryl nodded.

“You think it might help to talk about some of it?” he asked with an unsure look.

Carol shrugged non-committedly. She had no idea. She’d never tried it.

“I don’t know, all I do know is that it will hurt like hell.”

Daryl eyed her before he reached out and took her hand in his. He squeezed it gently.

“We don’t gotta do it all in one go. We can go bit by bit and if ya gotta stop, we’ll stop.”

Carol was filled with relief at that, feeling like some of the pressure had disappeared. She squeezed his hand back, smiling at him weakly.

“Thank you.”

He nodded his head slowly. She focused on his hand to give her the strength she needed to make this step.

“I’ve been thinking more and more about those old days lately. It’s like my subconscious has been trying to get me to face what happened,” she started, thinking about the mocking she had endured from her mind, manifesting as Alpha.

“H… Henry’s death brought up a lot for me. Before him, I avoided kids like the plague. It took so long to let my walls down. Because of what happened… Because of what happened with Lizzie and Mika.”

She paused to catch her breath.

Her heart had begun to beat rapidly. Flashes of images flew behind her eyes. Blood dripping from a knife. A little girl sobbing in front of a patch of wildflowers. The burst of red after the loud bang of the gun.

She flinched.

Daryl sat, still holding her hand. He had started rubbing circles over it with his thumb. His face looked open, ready to hear whatever she had to say. God, she hoped he was ready. It was so fucked up.

“Lizzie ki…” she broke off to take a deep breath. Her eyes were filled with tears now. She could barely see Daryl properly. “Lizzie killed Mika.”

Carol didn’t miss the shock that took over his face. She could see the questions begin to whir in his mind.

“There was something wrong with her. It hadn’t been as bad at the prison, but it was still there,” she tried to explain for him. She hadn’t understood how bad it was until it was too late.

Daryl was completely hooked on her words. His eyes stayed intent on her face.

“You remember those dissected rats Tyreese found in the tombs? That was her.”

Daryl’s eyes filled with recognition after a moment.

“Damn,” he muttered, not seeming to have meant to say it aloud.

Carol nodded in agreement.

“Yeah… She didn’t understand walkers. She thought they were still people, just different. I caught her one day, playing with one.”

Daryl blinked at that and frowned. She knew he must be as baffled as she had been when she had seen it herself.

“When I killed it, she lost it. She even pointed her gun at me. More signs of how not right things were in her head.”

Carol looked down to needlessly examine her fingers entwined in Daryl’s. She knew she needed to keep going but it was so hard! She hadn’t thought about these things in years for a good reason.

“One day, Tyreese and I went out to hunt. The girls had their guns and knives and we had a perimeter set up. We wouldn’t be gone long, so we trusted that they’d be okay.”

She shook her head, thinking about the moment they had returned.

Blood dripped from the tip of the knife.

She flinched again, the image fading.

Daryl gave her hand another squeeze, making her look at him once more. He gave her what she interpreted as an encouraging look. She managed a tiny smile for him. She knew it had been a pathetic attempt. Her smile quickly dropped.

“Tyreese and I got back to the house we were staying in. The first thing I saw was Lizzie’s knife. It was covered in blood,” she gave a bitter laugh. “At first I thought it was from a walker. That she’d finally figured it out. I should have known. Walker blood doesn’t look like that,” she finished with a frown.

“Then, I saw things clearer. Behind her was Mika’s body with an obvious stab wound,” her vision blurred with the tears that hadn’t fallen. “Lizzie didn’t want us to put Mika down. She wanted her to turn.”

Carol paused.

“She was going to do the same to Judith next,” she added, trying to give context to graveness of the situation.

Daryl flinched at that. She knew how much Judith meant to him and clearly, the thought of such a thing was horrific enough for Daryl.

“We were able to get Judith away from her and I convinced her that we’d wait for Mika to turn. She believed me,” Carol said in a muted tone. Her tears had finally spilled over, trailing down her cheeks.

“Tyreese and I tried to come up with options. It was obvious that she couldn’t be around people. That’s when I knew what had to be done,” Carol confessed darkly, sickness taking hold of her stomach.

“I knew Tyreese would never be able to do it,” she said then, thinking of how traumatized the man had been after seeing Mika’s body. He’d already been holding by a loose thread after the prison.

“So, it was down to me,” she added gravely.

Daryl’s hand tensed in hers. She knew that he knew what she was going to tell him. She also knew that she still needed to say it. It would never get better if she didn’t.

“I took her with me to a nearby field. I told her we would pick some wildflowers for Mika. She believed me.”

That was part of what made things worse. That she had manipulated this girl in the moments leading up to her death. Made her believe that everything was okay. Maybe it was a kindness. So, that she didn’t know what was coming. It still made her guilt worse.

“I couldn’t stop from crying, knowing what I had to do. She thought I was mad at her for pointing her gun at me!”

She shook her head, remembering the incredulity she’d felt at it. It just didn’t click in the girl’s mind why else she could be upset.

“At the prison, her father and Mika used to tell her to ‘Look at the flowers’ whenever she was panicking. I told her to do the same. Her back was to me. I… I counted to three and then I... I shot her in the back of the head!” the last came out in a wail as she slumped over her knees. She tried pressing herself into them as far as she was able, while she sobbed.

She heard Daryl sigh before she felt his arms cradle her body. She moved her limbs so she could rest more comfortably against him and buried her face in his chest. His hand moved up and down on her back. Carol pressed herself to him as tightly as she could, trying to use his strength to hold herself together. When it didn’t work, she cried harder, her hands clutching at his back.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours. Her crying her heart out and Daryl holding her and murmuring to her softly in an unintelligible voice. When her tears finally ebbed and she felt like she wouldn’t fall apart anymore, she pulled away from him. She didn’t go far. Her hands stayed on his back, not wanting to let go of him. He didn’t complain.

She was surprised to find that, when she took stock of how she felt, she felt… Lighter. Better. Honestly, she felt better than she had in months. Daryl had been right. She had needed to talk about this stuff. The pain wasn’t gone. It was still there just below the surface. But it almost seemed like she had just chipped off a big chunk of it.

“I’m so sorry you had to do that,” Daryl said with a pained look. He moved his hand to her face and wiped at her tears.

“Thank you,” she answered. She wasn’t just thanking him for his apology and empathy, but also for his lack of judgement. His forgiveness.

“’Course.”

“Not just for that. I mean for making me talk. You were right, I do feel a little better,” she elaborated with smile.

Daryl’s face brightened a little at that.

“I’m glad,” he told her with a lift to his lips.

“Maybe we can make this a regular thing?” Carol suggested hesitantly, worrying her lip.

She knew he had told her that he’d be there for her, but after what she had just revealed, she wouldn’t begrudge him if he changed his mind. Daryl quickly settled her worries as he nodded his head enthusiastically.

“We can do that.”

Carol smiled at him in relief. She hesitated before she spoke once more. Her voice shook a little.

“Will you… Could we…” she tried a few times before shaking her head. “Could you hold me again?” she finally asked, wanting to feel the safety of his arms again. She had been so sure she’d never experience it ever again only hours ago.

Daryl gave her a smile.

“C’mere,” he ordered before pulling her back into his hold.

Carol breathed him in once more, happily. She tucked her head under his chin.

Finally, she felt that things were going to be okay.

[dr-owo]

Your words mean nothing to me | Chapter 6 | Raven | MM Trial | RE: Tomoyo's Death, Mastermind Reveal, ATTN: Mika

Guess he’d been right to be skeptic about Tomoyo being the true mastermind all along--

... But at what cost?

As the young girl was stabbed through the chest by her own beloved sensei - as she died pathetically in the arms of the one she trusted most -, all Raven could do was stare in disbelief. A shiver ran down his spine as the dark-haired woman turned her attention to them, slowly walking around them.

The street magician blinked, dumbfounded by the current turn of events. He wasn’t quite sure what he was actually feeling - it was a whirlwind of emotions that raged in his mind. Pain, sadness, disbelief, anger-- Nothing wanted to settle down for good and thus, he was left speechless.

Obviously, he knew who it was before the mask got off, but he still tensed up when he got to see Mika Tsukizuka’s scarred face.

He couldn’t believe it.

But at the same time, an all too familiar feeling started to bubble up intensely inside of him - and with gritted teeth, he glared daggers at the trule responsible party for this entire tragedy.

As Abe started to scream at her - something that he’d never seen the other do in such desperation and anger before -, Raven stayed absolutely quiet. Ren was trying his best to ask questions, but obviously, he was just as much taken aback as the rest of them. And then there was Kiha--

For a few moments, his gaze lingered on the judoka, who was rightfully upset and hurt about this reveal - this betrayal. Seeing someone you love die was already inexplicatly painful, but then being backstabbed by them on top of that? He couldn’t even begin to imagine what Kiha must be going through right now. It was beyond agonizing.

And that was enough for him to push his own feelings aside - or rather, all the positive feelings he ever had regarding Mika Tsukizuka-- or at least the person they thought she was. It was all a lie, after all but it still hurt--

The street magician gripped his podium tightly, exhaling slowly as Daishin was speaking. When they were coughing, he glanced at them for a brief moment, while also glaring at Sorakuma, before ultimately settling his gaze down on the true responsible party for the Tragedy.

“... I retracted everything good I ever said about you, Tsukizuka. And I’m gonna make sure to apologize to my sisters profoundly for ever comparing them to a sick bastard like you. Unlike you, they were honest to good people who would’ve never destroyed the world for whatever bullshit reason you might have. And don’t think I give a damn what you think of me - your words mean nothing to me.”

His voice was low, calm even - but the sheer fury mirrored in his eyes betrayed that apparent composure.

“Heh, I’m never gonna let it live myself down that I didn’t vote for you when I had the chance - to think that I wanted to take the bullet for you even-- fucking hell, I was an idiot. Guess the only way I can make up for that embarrassing mistake is to make sure that you’re leaving this room as a fucking corpse.”

Raven didn’t sound like as if he was about to jump into action again, but if the expression on his face told anything, then it was this - he was determined to see Mika’s demise one way or another. Obviously, it’s not like they were in any position to make a move now - but by god, he wouldn’t let that woman walk away free after everything she’s done.

“I said that Iori was the scummiest person on this planet, but I gotta correct myself there - you definitely got that title fair and square. I have an inkling that if it weren’t for your intervention, Iori would’ve never turned out to be as twisted as she was. You really love to bring the absolute worst in people out, don’t you?"

Raven scoffed, grimacing as his nails dug into the wooden surface of the podium.

“So, what now? Are you gonna be the one monologuing about your bullshit motives now just like one of these art-obsessed villains that you could’ve found in a lot of horror games? What, did you do all of this to turn the entire world into some kind of masterpiece for yourself or what? Something about corruption, like that stupid painting you did when you were 13? Because I swear to god, if your reason to fuck up the entire world was for some artistic bullshit, then honest to god, fuck you.”

Truth be told, Raven wanted nothing more than to scream bloody murder at Mika, to let his emotions run wild and attempt to kill her right there and then.

But no.

He’d already given that woman enough satisfaction. They couldn’t continue acting like that anymore. They all had to pull themselves together and make sure that Mika Tsukizuka would never, ever do anything in her life again.

No more.

[haneuly-blog1]

ons x fe: fates crossover

japan/ons world as nohr and hoshido - the vamps are nohr, the jida is hoshido, and the possessed/demons are valla - shinoa takes to hoshido (birthright), and mika takes to nohr (conquest), hoshido (birthright) or goes alone (revelations) so he is overpowered okay because i like mikayuu also bc technically this is what happens canonically in the anime-manga soooo Mikaela Shindo-Tepes-Hyakuya or whatever/Shinoa Hiiragi (technically, their last names would be Bathory, but last names don't exist in fe so ha i freaking beat the system) as M!Corrin and F!Corrin respectively - yes they can still shapeshift into a dragon - yes they can still use swords/whatever they use - yes they still start out as a nohrian/nohrian noble - no they are not the same as each other - since corrin is a flexible character and ultimately shows no individual personality whatsoever, corrin in whatever gender will be modified to shinoa and mika's personalities - mika can use swords, lances, and axes - shinoa can use swords, lances, and tomes - in their upgraded forms that is; before they use a master seal, they can only use their dragon stone and sword - mika can only be paired with yuu (nyehehehehe it's cause i'm the creator suckeR) but shinoa can be paired with either mitsuba or yuu (because mitsushin is goals hell yeah) yuu as azura - manlier (than azura, but still pretty feminine - more feminine that in the anime/manga) - still sings (ie azura sings on the battlefield to give the units one more turn) - is paired with shinoa/mika (f!corrin vs m!corrin) - child isn't specified? - ^might have to include @califlair 's (tumblr) michirou, aka mikayuu love child - idk what shinoa's child would be, but p michirou still (even though he's mika's lmao) - ^maybe just redesign a child for yuunoa - dunno if i should even have a child for mikayuu - ^think abt it - yuu is a mix of azura/shigure - usually uses a naginata more than anything else, but could use katanas (or even the Nohrian lances) - has tried tomes before, and REALLY REALLY hates them - still as ditsy as his anime/manga counterpart, but smarter and more serious - ^actually pretty bad at conveying emotion, like canon azura - when he sings, his eyes turn blue(?) - he knows abt valla - although he's (sorta) bad at maneuvering in it when he first got there (ie after guren as arete got married, he moved to Nohr to marry the king (Ferid ew) and miraculously had yuu because vallans(?) are magical and the women and men can have children - his color scheme matches azura's, although has some shigure elements in it -  A++ at singing and dancing, although he takes up the title 'songstress'(? what is the male version omg) - ^ if paired with either shinoa or mika, he will teach them to dance the vampires (led by Ferid Bathory) as Nohr - the vamps hire mercenaries and then turn them into vampires - they are, as the canon nohr is, cold, dark, and overall oppressive - Ferid's history with Valla is the same as king Garon's in game - ^ie he marries the ons arete, aka guren, and has our favorite yuu-chan - he kills kureto/krul(?)/whoever will be in place of hoshido (ie jida, so maybe not krul...oH SHINYA YEAHHHH) and takes mika or shinoa and drags he or she off to Nohr - mika is okay with ferid but thinks he's annoying, and shinoa outright loves/hates him - crowley is xander, krul is camilla, urd geales is leo, and lest karr is elise - jakob is lucal whesker, felicia is lacus and flora is renee - the nohrians have few retainers: saito (krul), ky luc (urd), gabel parthe (lest), fuola honte (ferid - as iago), noin teta (krul) (, chess belle, horn skuld (1 retainer per person besides crowley and krul - including ferid) - as well as in game, ferid has absolute no trust in you but usually follows his own advice instead of fuola's and thinks of his advisor as a nuisance - the retainers are modified according to their characters in game (ie not much is known about noin, so i can modify her all i want besides the fact that she hates the jida; ie chess and horn are romantically attracted to crowley, so that will stay) - ferid, ulike garon. is not possessed in any way but is just how is, ie evil, sarcastic, sadistic, and petty as well as a perv (lol) - unlike how garon is,he actually really loved guren (and also unlike the game guren didn't like him back - he deSPISED him) -  ^ the way ferid is in the present happened because of guren's 'death' (more in the valla section) - crowley is like super bloodthirsty after shinoa/mika chooses hoshido sooooo yeah - lest literally tries to stop crowley in his own weird lest way but, like elise when she tries to persuade xander, is killed in a kamikaze mission, although he doesn't necessarily jump in front of mika/shinoa like elise does to corrin - by the time shinoa/mika reaches ferid, he's literally just bawling his eyes out (since apparently he has time to do that during war) and fuola is not present; ferid cries over a picture of guren (who had previously been thought dead before mika/shinoa went to hoshido but was then found out (lol) and bc of that ferid just hates the hoshidans more so tht does literally nothing but make him a depressed idiot (he's pretty difficult to save though even while depressed so)  the JIDA (led by Shinya Hiiragi) as Hoshido - woO MAMA SHINYA ISN'T SO MAMA ANYMORE - ^ jk he still kinda is, but not as much as the fandom makes him out to be and he def not as motherly as mikoto - he's more fatherly lmao - he is in a relationship with guren atm (ur like 'woah he's alive??? wut') - the jida are still in fact called hoshido lmao - they aren't as sunny as the hoshidans because of mahiru... who is currently gonna be anankos for now thanks - Shinya knows where, what, and how to get to valla via guren, because they are a happy couple - please let them be happy - psyche THAT IS NOT GONNA HAPPEN - ANYWAY... as shinya finds mika/shinoa/omg wth, he is noT- I SAY, NOT- KILLED but is saved by guren, who is present at the moment - and this is where the feels train starts - guren, sadly, dies, yes, dies, like, the dying that means your life blood is sucked out of your veins and slowly drains you of your soul, body, and mind because yoU ARE DYING GOD JFC - anyway, about that- shinya gets super pissed lol like absolutely agent cheeto 2017 election pissed (@guren lol)  but doesn't kick mika/shinoa's butte since he knows it's not his/her fault (kinda like ryouma in game) - as guren starts to die, shinya just takes him back to the castle to a 'special room' – no it's not for the x rated stuff it is a practical vallan regeneration chamber - jesus you have a dirty mind - anyway, of course shinya's (adopted) kids start to hate shinoa/mika cause they're like 'omg you just killed my mom' since they aren't let in on the vallan secret >>>>>>:00000 - sayuri is ryouma, narumi is hinoka, kimizuki is taKUMI YEAHHH, yoichi is sakura because heck yeah – ps there will be yuuyoi/yoiyuu interaction - the retainers (they have so many more than nohr lmao) are: norito goshi (yoichi), mito jujo (sayuri), aoi sangu (guren+shinya's advisor), shigure yukimi (sayuri), aiko aihara (kimizuki), shusaku iwasaki (narumi), and mitsuba sangu (who was technically hired to be shinoa/mika's retainer as a child, but since corrin in game was taken away, she became a strategist and the back-and-forth retainer of kimizuki and yoichi, the bros who usually work in a team (when mika/shinoa come back, she's overjoyed and doesn't mind the nohrian attack on guren) (:0000 jk it's cause she obv remembers mika/shinoa and wants to be his/her retainer ) - the retainers know about guren's 'ability' and were appointed to their retainer to reveal the ability to the noble children (sometime in the very very very very very far future) - kimizuki, like takumi in conquest, does indeed do become possessed by a vallan 9APPARENTLY ITS 'VALLITE') (ie a demon) but only for a short while when he is fighting against mika/shinoa with yoichi in like chapter 28 or something lol - hoWEVER HE DOESN'T DIE LIKE TAKUMI DID OKAY he just like gets calmed by yoichi because unlike takumi, who was fighting solo, kimizuki is with yoichi/sakura so is calmed and coaxed out of pairing with the vallite demon and jUMPING OFF A FREAKING CLIFF Demons/People able to harbor Demons as Valla - okay, this is probably the most complicated out of all of them - Guren, Yuu, AND Shinya are from Valla (as well as the actual demons like kiseki-o and asuramaru and mahiru... sort of) - Kiseki-o and Asura are buddies in Valla (Asura is like.... the hoshidan lilith because of yuu and kiseki-o is the nohrian one; yes i know lilith is not a vallite shut up) – kiseki-o is an evil son of a biatch and is the one who possesses kimizuki/takumi under ferid's request – despite this asura is still chill with him bc they're of the same kind so - Guren is the queen... king of valla and yuu is the princess lmaooooo - contrary to the game, i'm being a rebel and having azura and corrin not be cousins (ie hence why shinya and guren are a couple and not siblings because i don't support incest) - also, i'm also thinkig that guren had yuu before he remarried to ferid, and ferid trying to try his best to impress the son and ultimately failing, only to be happy because oh yuu felt bad and tried his hardest to like ferid - eventually he hated him because he thought that ferid had killed guren after his disappearance, and marched on out to the hoshidan/nohr borders at the bottomless canyon to jump back to valla only to be captured by the hoshians he despised (then found out they weren't so bad) and found his mom again - he still hated ferid – suCK IT FERID - okay, so since vallites are the demons in ons, they can regenerate - slowly but surely (takes like a couple of years, unless ur a nobLE) - after the process of regenerating, their timeline is reset so that they look young, but they age and die just like a regular person would (only they would just look young while dying so) – if that's too hard to grasp, here's an easier summary of it: when a vallite dies at a certain age, they will be able to regenerate if his/her body is preserved well enough. once they regenerate, they will look the same as when they died but will also resume the appropriate amount of years that passed when they were dead – so basically they look young but are actually old - and, again, unlike the game, i am having shinya be vallite, only he is a mixed blood vallite (ie half human half vallite) so his regeneration periods trigger less often than a full vallite would - so he looks older than guren but they're the same age lol (which is probably like 30-40 or something, not around 20 like in ons) - guren's regeneration period takes less time since he is a noble of valla, so it would only take him like 2/4 to 3/4 of a year to regenerate - shinya and guren decided not to tell the royal hoshidan children that they were vallite because that would just blur the lines between what is hoshidan and what is vallite - mahiru ties into this because i will have anankos, yes the evil eye dragon thing, be vallite - my history between mahiru and guren confusing bc wow, shinya is also a dragon but can't activaye his powers because mahiru's the one that got the whole dragon blood blah blah, it took her over and she ended up lethally wounding guren, destroying valla (pretty much), and ultimately ruining her relationship with yuu - the hiiragis and the itchynoses had a long history of continuously switching between love and hate, and in guren's gen, he was mahiru's fiancee and had yuu with her, so yeah yuu's also part dragon like azura is in game – good job memu aka me, myself and i for staying somewhat close to the actual fe: fates storyline - anywhoo, as you know, the bottomless canyon (the first actual battle in fe: fates) is a gateway from valla to the real world so ofc guren went that way when he escaped valla (because the way from like bodies of water was blocked off since mahiru literally destroyed everything) so he had to take that way - he tried to take shinya with him, but shinya insisted it would be important for the noble queen (lol) to go escape to safety first, so, after much persuading, guren went without shinya - then he was captured by nohrians after literally not knowing where he was (since he didn't know about the bottomless canyon and just escaped using instinct) and was taken to ferid, who freaking experienced love at first sight – ferid u bich u don't deserve true love - guren didn't feel the same way but thought he was a nice guy so he married the dude – what a freaking nice guy amirite - going back to shinya, there was one lake in the middle of valla (there really isn't one ingame so) and he escaped using that, since it was a portal that all travelers going to valla went through without passing in through the gates (sincethere was a border gate with guards there) and it led to a lake that was around the perimeter of hoshido, which had tenri hiiragi and kureto hiiragi as king and prince in line (this is the time when ferid is like a teen and hoshido and nohr don't hate each other yet) and shinya was put in place as next prince (since hoshidan was first started by vallites ie the hiiragi line, who was more idealistic and hated the fact that valla was a 'dreamlike' place that you could never talk about (since the rainbow sage (aka a really powerful sorcerer who was literally on no side but did what he thought was right) placed a curse on valla) and preferred the real world to valla – short version of what the hell i just said: the true hoshidans were vallites that hated valla and wanted a more realistic place to live that you could actually talk about without dying - shinya missed guren as kureto died early after tenri's rule and he was placed the king and was appalled to see the guy he missed with disgusting lovesickness in the middle show up after a couple years (ie like two decades yeesh) and at this time, ( i lied guren didn't disappear he was done without consent then was 'killed' by nohrian soldiers (and then regenerated since they didn't really kil him but just made him unconcious) and decided to leave nohr - he thought yuu was happy in nohr (he was - he didn't even mind the cold, dark space until he went to hoshido) so guren left him there - shinya then made preparations for guren after he arrived and after like two years they married (and not just to carry on the hiiragi-ichinose name that was planned) and they adopted children (since vallites can only have one child) - vallite men and women can reproduce - it's kinda like omegaverse, a/b/o, but without the ranks - really only the royals, nobles, and a select few people of the male gender can reproduce  - it goes like that for women that can give the men the reproduction system too okay, so now that i've come up with the basic stuff i can get on to the more relationship-building unnecessary things lol support conversations of course, just like what is customary of the fire emblem series, support conversations would probably be present in this crossover the support conversations would have the standard format: C, B, A, S or A+ *A+ os for very good friends - it acts like an S support without actually binding the two people in marriage the supports would go something like this: Mika; in revelations (himself), birthright (hoshido), or conquest (nohr): Yuu (C,B,A, and S), Mitsuba (C,B,A,A+), Lacus (C,B,A,A+), and Renee (C,B,A) are the mains bc they will go with any path (since mitsuba, as mika/shinoa's retainer will be required to follow him/her) in conquest: Ferid (C,B,A), Crowley (C,B,A), Krul (C,B,A,A+), Urd (C,B,A), Lest (C,B,A), Kiseki-O (C,B,A) and all of the nohrian retainers in hoshido: Shinya (C,B,A), Guren (C,B,A), Sayuri (C,B,A), Narumi (C,B,A), Kimizuki (C,B,A,A+), Yoichi (C,B,A,A+), Asuramaru (C,B,A) and all of the hoshidan retainers Shinoa; prettt much whatever mika's supports are for revelations/hoshido and hoshido except her convos with Mitsuba are C,B,A,S Yuu; in revelations/conquest/birthright: Mika (C,B,A,S), Shinoa (C,B,A,S), Guren (C,B,A,A+), Shinya (C,B,A,A+), Asuramaru (C,B,A,S) bc yes yuu can marry his demon lol, Kiseki-O (C,B,A), Sayuri (C,B,A), Narumi (C,B,A,A+), Kimizuki (C,B,A,S), Yoichi (C,B,A,S), Mitsuba (C,B,A,A+), Ferid (C,B,A,S) for those feriyuu shippers lmao, and the nohrian/hoshidan retainers for conquest/birthright respectively Guren; Shinya (C,B,A,S) because technically their supports should already be filled out since they're married but they're not bc fe is odd, Yuu, Mika/Shinoa, Mitsuba (C,B,A), Sayuri (C,B,A), Narumi (C,B,A), Kimizuki (C,B,A), Yoichi (C,B,A), Ferid (C,B,A,A+) for those who really ship guren and ferid you arE WELCOME, Asuramaru (C,B,A), Kiseki-O (C,B,A) and the nohrian retainers Shinya; p much the same as Guren's without any Ferid Ferid; Guren, Yuu, Mika, Krul (C,B,A,A+), Crowley (C,B,A,A+), Urd (C,B,A), Lest (C,B,A) and the nohrian retainers i really don't want to keep listing out the supports lol but i think it's pretty explanatory since the nohrians keep to the nohrian side and the hoshidans keep to the hoshidan side and there are some stragglers who go in between both of those and yeet for those who really like pairings, these are the main ones: mikayuu yuunoa feriguren shingure/gureshin mitsunoa kimiyuu yuuyoi/yoiyuu there's probably more but i'm too lazy to go back and read the whole entire thing from start to beginning again so yeah ^ if you have more headcanons for this then feel free to inbox me lol

[ladylucindae]

[?!]

[Post inspired by arts_shadyjoker & @kassistav & @rirururu.]

LINK: http://rirururu.tumblr.com/post/157551822967/kassistav-instagramcomartsshadyjoker

I’m huge Harry Potter nerd so I couldn’t resist a urge to comment on that post. At first I was about to simply repost it… but I really wanted to expand that topic so I just started “a new thread”. Why? Mostly because I strongly disagree with Komaeda being in Slytherin! I also don’t think Hinata would be in Hufflepuff. I would love to comment about other characters from DR universe but let’s start with simply Komaeda and Hinata.

[WARNING, SPOILERS FOR ALL DANGANRONPA GAMES AND ANIME INCLUDED!]

Komaeda in Slytherin:

I agree with people who thinks that Komaeda really suits to Slytherin standards. He is smart, manipulative, good at using people’s traits against them and merciless for himself when it comes to his goals. His deduction skills are incredible and his, most of the time, calm and calculative personality can be really misleading.

“You admitted it yourself, so what’s wrong with Komaeda as Slytherin?”

To be honest, for me Komaeda is a true Hufflepuff.

No, I didn’t based my opinion on Fantastic Beasts which probably changed a lot of people’s opinion about Hufflepuff. It’s just a conclusion which I reached after understanding his character. The Sorting Hat is able to reach the deepest thoughts and dreams in anyone who is brave enough to put it on and I’m sure it would see Komaeda’s true colours.

Hufflepuff is different than other houses. It simply requires loyality as the most important trait from their students. They also highly value equality, hard-work and fairness. This house apperaciate patience.

Komaeda in the unhealthly and dangerous enviroment like Killing School Trip is showing much more of his Slytherin side than Hufflepuff. He isn’t hiding his feelings but they are covered by his actions and indirect words. It’s a fact, all cunning Komaeda used isn’t provided by selfishness and desire to live - it’s all because he belives that it will help his friends. He risked his life without any plan in Final Dead Room. He was ready to tell Hinata how awesome talent he has! I hinted it in my previous posts but I believe Komeada deep down wanted Hinata and others to survive more than anything.

He was often misunderstood by his classmates who never cared to really understand him. Even so, he always wanted to be useful for them. That was the reason for him to do terrible things because no one told him despite Yukizome that it isn’t the way to solve problems. Later on, only Hinata was trying to tell him directly in a way he could think about it that nothing good will be born by killing people.

Komaeda was during all events of SDR2 selfless. He was underastimating his own value and when he actually started to see how he is outsmarting most of his admired Ultimates he wasn’t even doing it for his own pleasure. He didn’t have fun at all. He was looking for a cure for his uneasiness. He also never betrayed Hinata’s exceptations. He was doing everything by a plan which could be (and was) reavealed. He didn’t destroy any evidences needed to solve a case. He gave them a chance. It was a fair trail. He used his talent as everybody else before. That was theirs fault to underastimate it. Komaeda even reminded them before he killed himself about how he trust them and his ultimate luck. He wanted to point it out in their minds.

It’s all there: sense of fairness, trust, loyality and determination.

Don’t forget about SDR2.5 which is like a Ultimate Proof for my statement. It’s showing him in the fullest. He couldn’t be misunderstood there by his own mind and Hajizuru.

I’ll point out the most important part of it, needed for that post, which is about role which Souda have. It is our last, lost, element. Souda who never had a chance to be someone important to Sonia in Komaeda’s dream is able to make his dream come true simply by hard-work and braveness. He longed for it so long and his work wasn’t in vain - he reaped what he saw in Komaeda’s dream.

World made simply by a desire for everyone to be equally happy. That’s a definition of happiness for Komaeda. Everything is a reflection of their hard-work. The only one problem in that world is, that Komaeda couldn’t bring himself to be happy along with everyone as he didn’t treat himself as the others because of his cursed fate.

Hinata in Hufflepuff:

Hinata is often interpreted only by his actions in SDR2 and Kibou-hen. I don’t mind that. It’s part of him but not everything he was and is. As in Komaeda’s case I understand why people see him as a Hufflepuff.

It’s mostly because of his ability to help others without asking questions and how he was able in all FTE’s make his “classmates” comfortable in his company. When he is focusing on someone else he really do his best, right? It’s admirable. Not everyone has ability to listen.

He valued friendship and was quite clumsy and naive.

I can’t think of anything else at that moment which is strictly bonding him to Hufflepuff. That leads to question, which house I think is suitable for him.

Answer is Slytherin.

Slytherin could be considered as complete opposite to Hufflepuff, especially with considering that house main values. Slytherins are proud people with strong desire to accomplish grateness. They are bounded to traditions, loyal to themselves and their families - not to everyone equally, smart and good at using information or gathering them for their own profit.

Let’s start with DR3: Despair Side. We had opportunity to see a real Hinata in that arc. He was miserable and most of us can agree that Slytherins are not associated with losers. Still, what’s important is Hinata’s view on Hope’s Peak Academy. It’s also pointed out in SDR2 - as his memory which was “taken” from events before he attended to Hope’s Peak. He never doubted a system of talent. He joined Academy to achive something great. That’s very Slytherin like.

When he crossed paths with Nanami, he was glad to have a friend of that much importance. She was from Main Course. It’s true, he never used her to get to know other Ultimates but he was truly blessed by her presence. That was enough for him because he focused on something every unhealthly Slytherin would do - his own insignificance.

He tried really hard to avoid a problem. Natsumi didn’t help him at all when she pierced him with his own thoughts. He pited her when she was crying about how she was a Ultimate Little Sister for Kuzuyuu. Mostly because, he was understanding the strong desire to have a talent. At first he thought it was just irrelevant or simply stupid. Talent like that not isn’t existing. He wouldn’t be satisfied with something without sense. It can be also proved by his reaction on Komaeda’s talent or conversations about his own talent. Hinata never wanted to have a useless talent.

Nanami convinced him about being talentless isn’t a bad thing but he wasn’t believing in it with all his might. Those thoughts were just his comfort-zone. After Sakakura’s brutal reminder of how things really are in Hope���s Peak Academy, he decided to take a part of Kamakura Project. No, he didn’t think:

“He is messed up! I only wanted as a HUMAN BEING meet my friend!”

“Something is really wrong with how things are solved here! I must protect Nanami, find a way to talk with her!”

He almost already assumed that the only way is to get a talent, be someone worthy. As if he isn’t already just by being a human with whom Nanami had fun.

There we have: strong desire for achiving grateness, the most important of all Slytherin traits.

For those of you who aren’t satisfied - we’ll continue.

SDR2: His desire to have a great talent is still there. Idea of having it even if doesn’t remember it is comforting him. But, we will focus for now on something different. Hinata didn’t trust Usami from the beginning of the story. He was suspicious and cautious as every Slytherin would be. He didn’t care if that would change a mood and made everyone feel uneasy. Of course, Hinata isn’t as smart as Komaeda who hide his intentions till first trail, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be Slytherin or Komaeda a Hufflepuff.

Hinata never had as twisted beliefs as Komeda and he didn’t consider killing someone a good thing but before fouth trail he was considering someone get killed. Of course, he never wanted to be a victim or Nanami to be. He cared about her. He also knew based on experience that if one of them would do this, their class would find it out. His selfishness at that moment was stronger than anything. It’s very Slytherin like to survive by any means.

It’s also a fact that he didn’t care about Naegi, Kirigiri and Togami. He was about to stay in the program to live if Nanami wouldn’t interfere. He considered her as his moral compass.

Hinata is loyal to those he likes. He is trying to understand their feelings which is the reason for Komaeda to get so close to him. That’s a Ravenclaws’s and Slytherins’s trait but Hinata is really trying to understand things. He isn’t satisfied with half-baked answers so he is digging as much as he can. That can be seen the most in Komaeda’s FTE or on trails. Still, Ravenclaws are doing it more for the sake of knowledge or interest and Slytherins for their own benefit or interest, mostly two of those together.

It’s also very Slytherin like to be abe use drastic methods when their life are at stake. Chapter 3 of SDR2 is a good prove of that. After all, no one believed him despite Komaeda who is a murderer. At that point of the story everyone started to be much closer to each other emotionally. Chapter 5, can be used too.

As for Kibou-hen, where we can finally experience his healthly Slytherin side:

He is happy to be an Ultimate with all his memories within him. His dream of being talented finally came true. Hinata also have a possibility to take care of his friends which are like family to him.

To be honest, he wasn’t even that much interested in helping Naegi. Mikan took care of Kirigiri. He “wasted” time on Yukizome who was already dead - as if he forgot that people are still dying over there. He helped Ryouta instead, who was important for Imposter. Of course, helping Ryouta was like preventing world from destruction but I can’t help feeling that was his second “main goal”. Even then, when Souda for fun reminded him about being Reserve Course Student he felt a little bit provoked.

That’s the end. It took so long, but I think it was worth it!