Tumgik
#but upper level management? no fuckin thanks lmao. i hate almost everything about it
orcelito · 2 years
Text
I always do question why I keep putting up with all the bullshit of my job. I got soooooo close to quitting back in February, & ultimately only really stayed bc my tax return was delayed & I didn't have the financial security without it to quit
I enjoy some aspects of the job. But tbh yeah I kinda fucking hate it. There's so much I have to do Constantly, there are Always problems, and I've got more and more responsibilities and expectations placed on me. More and more money too, but ngl it still doesn't feel like enough for what all of this is.
But I'm taking so long in my schooling. I've fumbled it so many times. I don't have any internships and I'm petrified at the idea of applying to them. What I DO have is a rock solid track record with this job. I'm well respected by management, I'm relatively accomplished, & I've proved that I can do a damn good job. The longer I stay here, the more that potentially means down the road. I have a business owner who's openly stated he'll vouch for me no matter where I go & a work history that's looking better and better. Having thorough experience with management looks Great no matter where I go.
And... it helps me feel better about myself, too. Helps me feel like I'm not wasting so much time. I'm not just fumbling my schooling, I'm doing part time school as I also participate in managing a store. Sounds better when I put it like that. Makes me feel like less of a failure when compared to others who are more accomplished.
So here I am. Constantly under pressure, constantly wishing to escape, yet Here I Am.
I just really need to finish with school already. It seems like it's going to be my only real escape from it all.
#speculation nation#being in management has driven home to me how little i want to be in management#im fine being a team leader aka what im hoping all this will act as proof of ability for or whatever#but upper level management? no fuckin thanks lmao. i hate almost everything about it#hate being in charge of deciding peoples' fates re: hiring. hate being in charge of disciplinary stuff (im so bad at it)#hate the expectations and responsibilities and all this constant fucking bullshit#... though i do like feeling valued. the owner consistently voices his appreciation for what i do & it feels very nice#but that's also why this bullshit with the supervisor stings so bad bc she's clearly discounting everything i do for this fucking place#i ALREADY stayed late to help but it wasnt enough bc i didnt give Everything for her.#which i hate that im still angry about it but i really am. it fucking sucks.#she has no idea how hard this fucking job is. how much im already doing. it's infuriating.#i bet she thinks im making like much more than i am lmao. im ultimately only a few dollars more than her.#'management' at at a small store doesnt mean ppl sitting on plush pillows making arbitrary decisions for thousands#no im out there doing shit all the time. im still basically an employee. i just also have some say in how things should be run.#it's complicated. my reasons for staying are complicated. so im unlikely to leave until the time is right.#but oh God i want so badly to leave. i want it so so badly.#someday i will have my bachelors. and then hopefully i can get some random computer job where i can just be a gremlin#without all the pressures of management resting on my shoulders.#maybe someday...
2 notes · View notes
imonthinice · 3 years
Text
The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 9/?
Word Count: 1.7k
Author’s Note: Y/N- Your Name, A/N - Any Name (Your Best Friend’s Name)
I am sorry. lmao.
Half of my links are glitched tf out fuck this shit, touched grass yesterday but that grind don’t fuckin stop babey
Warnings: Angst - Injury, Description of said injury, Mentions of Jason’s past, Swearing, Dark Themes, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)
Jason clutched his right side as he gasped for a long breath of the cold, rainy air surrounding him. Everything hurt and he could barely move enough to text Dick that he was down. He would hold and add pressure to the stab wound sitting directly on his waist, but he could feel the blood seeping through the gaps in his fingers as he held it. His hands were covered by the blood and he was losing it fast.
He wasn’t going to walk this off by any means, he was going to need Dick to go get him and bring him back to the hospital wing of the Batcave because he couldn’t move and he felt his eyes drooping as he waiting and tried to keep his breathing in check, while Dick was scrambling to go get him.
There would be a few questions he would have to answer to Y/N. Not even just Y/N, to Lian, his Goddaughter, who he was planning on seeing in the morning since Y/N was going to a dance competition, or at least he thought she was.
But in that moment, so many memories flew back into his head, the hopelessness as he sat there for a few seconds, bleeding out after the explosion that Joker had set off on him. And then the minutes in the Lazarus Pit as he drowned himself back to life, the water filling his lungs as he cried and screamed. But no one came.
This time, however, Dick came.
Dick swooped his baby brother up and onto his back and he tried to run to the Batmobile as fast as he could, knowing time was of the essence for saving Jason’s life. Jason had broke off from Dick for a few seconds before this moment, and it was the only thing Dick was worried about. That Dick had said to come back to him, alive.
In the car, Dick put his hands on Jason's gaping wound, trying to press his hands into it as well to slow the bleeding, the Batmobile had the ability to drive itself, and Dick thanked whatever God was watching that it did. Jason was struggling for breath at this moment, and Dick was terrified.
“You’re going to be oaky, Jase. I swear. Please. Don’t die on me, it feels like yesterday that I got you back,” he leaned into Jason’s face, “Not again, please,” Dick begged and begged as he rushed Jason to Alfred, who was waiting to operate on Jason.
--------------------------------------------
Y/N woke up as always, this time, without a text from Jason. She thought nothing of it, thinking he was safe in his house with his loving family. She went to go get coffee to kick start her day, and A/N wasn’t in the kitchen. She, still, thought nothing of it, since A/N’s lover was over the night before and she had to turn up her music to ignore the sounds coming from the other side of the house. She sent Jason a quick text,
Good morning, Jay. I hope you slept well.
And she returned to her room, coffee in hand, to write some quick little stories about  what she had placed in her journal. Not many of the ideas in there were able to be built off of, but she still tried her best with every idea she had, to see if it could be something more.
It normally never was, but it was always something she craved. The ideas of writing a book always enticed her, but she never thought she was talented enough to do so.
She heard her roommate’s door open and then the front door as A/N waved off her lover. It was a quiet Saturday morning, and Y/N loved that as she dove further and further into her work, immersing herself in the story of two lovers who were destined to meet after one moved to the hometown of the other to pursue criminal psychology.
She couldn’t get her mind off of Jason. They hadn’t even known each other for a week but she knew he was worth her time. A few hours passed by from when she sent the first text.
---------------------------------------------
Dick held Jason’s hand as he was hooked up to many different machines, he could breathe on his own, but the IV and the blood bags were hard to keep Dick’s eyes off of. If only I had been watching a little closer, he thought.
Jason fumbled in his pain-induced sleep, moaning and groaning as he did so when he opened his eyes to find a worried, sleep-deprived and very rough-looking Dick at his bedside, to which, Dick collapsed on Jason in a hug.
“Thank God,” Dick breathed.
“What... what the fuck.... what the fuck happened?” Jason stuttered, like a blanket of sleep and drugs had limited his mobility and brain function.
“I don’t know, Jase. That’s what I was hoping you’d tell me, but then again, your blood alcohol level was suspicious.”
“I... I didn’t drink... drink that much.”
“No, you didn’t. But you did drink, who was with you?”
“I don’t... know.”
“I think you were roofied so they could get the upper hand on you. You almost died, Jase.”
“Come...c’mere,” Jason managed to say, and when Dick came to him, he moved on of his hands onto Dick’s cheek, “Big... big annoying... big little annoying brother.”
“Shhhhhh, little wing,” Dick comforted his little brother, “You weren’t supposed to grow that much taller than me,” he laughed, “Dickhead,” he laughed again, then sighed, and stepped back from Jason to pace back and forth, he was stressed, “I told Roy-”
“Will.”
“Will, sorry. I told Will that you won’t be able to see Lian today, he asked what happened, he might drop by.”
“He should... shouldn’t have to... see me this... this way,” Jason said, eyes pooling with tears, “No one... should.”
“Don’t know how we’re going to explain this to your little girlfriend.”
“Oh... Man... I like... I like her.”
“I know you do, and that’s an issue when you’re high as a kite in a hospital bed, bleeding out, Jase,” Dick tried to explain, “Especially when she doesn’t know you’re Red Hood, dumbass.”
“Oh,” he said.
“I know, Jase. If it was me and Barbara didn’t know, I wouldn’t know what to do,” he sighed, “Haven’t even met this girl,” he laughed.
“It’s... it’s only been... 5 days,” he stuttered.
“and 3 back-to-back, multiple hour, spanning days, worth of dates. You don’t do that with someone you don’t think should meet your family.”
“You’re... stubborn.”
“And you’re my brother. It doesn’t take blood to exhibit the same traits.”
“The meds... are... are wearing off.”
“Do you need more?”
“Not... yet,” he struggled with his words, “Phone?”
“I mean, yeah I can give you your phone,” Dick said as he went to go unplug and hand Jason his phone, realizing that Y/N had texted Jason he said, “Guess you have someone who wants to know where you are more than Will does.”
“Will cares,” Jason said as he took the phone and read Y/N’s text,
I guess it isn’t morning anymore, huh.
Well that’s on me for texting you at 6 in the morning after I know you’ve been working late.
And I’m going to see my Goddaughter today, so I’ve been sleeping in to preserve energy for her.
Can’t forget that she’s what, 1 year old? Girl must have a lot of energy.
Her name’s Lian, and yeah. She’s a ball of energy.
He said as Lian and her dad, Will, formerly known as Roy, walked into the hospital wing of the Batcave. The secret wasn’t hidden to the little girl yet because she couldn’t remember a lot. But, she sure did recognize her Uncle Jay when she screamed her name.
Will brought his daughter up and put her beside her Uncle, and she cuddled into him, he would hold her back.
“Hey... Will.”
“You look like shit, Jaybird.”
“I feel... feel like shit.”
“You’re also talking slow, bud.”
“Drugs... do that... Will.”
“At least you’re not dead, I have no idea how I’d cope or even explain that to Lian.”
“She... she has your... eyes.”
“She’s growing into my nose too.”
“Your nose... looks like shit... on your face.”
“Okay, dickhead. You’re bedridden but yeah, attack me like you used to, I’ll just pull the plug.”
“Lian... would hate you... you for that,” he groaned as he said it.
“Do you need more drugs? I can tell Dick,” Will asked.
“Yeah... I think-”
“Don’t worry about finishing that, Jaybird. I got you.”
------------------------------------------------------
The wet ground surrounding the house Y/N lived in was a representation of what she considered, the bad things, washing away from her life as she got to know Jason more. She wished they could talk more that day, but she did not want to take away time from him and his Goddaughter. Family matters a lot to Y/N, so a thought like that just seemed selfish for her to think when she knew that little girl needed him.
She didn’t think he got injured or anything from the Office, it was a safer place than the fuckin Wayne Manor hallways. She texted Artemis,
So, you’re Wally’s girlfriend, and Wally is Dick’s best friend? Am I hearing you right?
That’s basically the intertwine we have here, yes.
So once you’re in this family, you’re IN, huh?
Nervous?
Not a chance.
The thrill of flipping off pap hasn’t left you yet?
Does everyone know about that? And yes, it’s still massively fun to do.
Wally says Dick is the only one who doesn’t think its that funny.
Lame.
C’mon now, that’s my best friend, but yeah, that’s pretty fucking lame.
You’re the fun best friend, then. You see the fun in making a fool of the pap.
You know it.
Artemis knew of what happened on patrol between Jason and his unknown attacker. Dick had told Artemis to distract Y/N from wondering why Jason seemed drunk, if he seemed drunk. The extents they went to to hide the fact that they were the vigilantes protecting the city, they didn’t know if she was going to be able to keep the secret.
Jason would talk to her after that message,
That storm last night was terrible.
I wish that we were together when it happened. I hate lightning.
Well, you were in Cali.
Did I not tell you? My competition was cancelled because the entire country is fucked with weather.
Oh. That sucks.
Do you want to spend the night here?
---------------------------------------
Do you want to spend the night here?
Jason stared at that text for a while. He did, he wanted to spend the night with her, but he was in pain, hooked to machines, with obvious wounds and bandages. He couldn’t spend the night with her.
I can’t. I’m in Metropolis with Will and Lian. Can we reschedule?
Of course we can. As long as you make sure we actually get to spend the night together.
He asked Dick in that moment, “How... how long... long til I heal?”
“Depends. You’ll be okay-ish in 5 days, but in 7-10 we have to take out your stitches if you’ve been taking care of them,” he said.
“That... that long? Damn.”
36 notes · View notes