#but we both loved the idea of Adam and Bruce dating so much we focused on that

[candy-ac3]

Should have the first chapter of this Adam and the batfam crossover shit done either today or tommorow yippie!

[thighs-of-betrayal-blog]

Setup Gone Right

Request: Steve Rogers x Reader where they have a common friend and met each other as a prank of that friend who tried to set them up. This started a friendship though she knows she feels something deeper, but knows she doesn't stand a chance. She went on as friends but wrote songs of her feelings for Steve which she posts on tiktok and Steve saw it and tried to let her know of how he feels.

A/N: If my friend ever set me up with Steve Rogers, I’d kiss the ground they walked on. That is all. But, seriously, thank you so much for this fluff ball of a request. It made me smile writing it.

I hope you all enjoy and as always, feedback is appreciated! :)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x fem! Reader

Warnings: fluff to the max, slight cursing 

“I think you should just meet him,” your friend, Trish says, focusing on cutting her chicken into little squares. 

Amused, you watch as she unsuccessfully tries to cut her knife into the tough chicken breast. “And, why is that?” 

Trish gives up on the chicken, sighing before placing the knife back down on the table. “I think you’d two have a lot in common.” 

“Well, as true as that may be, it’s a no for me. You know I’m taking a break from dating.” 

“Just give it a try.” Trish pouts at you. 

“No.” Your answer is final. After getting cheated on just a few months ago, you’ve given up on relationships. For now at least. 

“Please?” 

“No.” 

“Pretty please?” 

The exasperated look on your face quiets her. “The answer is no.” Lifting your fork, you point it at her. “And, you better not try any funny business.” 

---

Trish didn’t listen to a thing you said. The following week, on a Tuesday night, she calls you in a hurry, explaining that you need to get over to your favorite diner in no more than 20 minutes. She’s adamant and sounds scared, causing you to quickly run to slip on some shoes and head out the door. 

Grabbing a taxi, you arrive at the diner in no more than ten minutes, slipping some cash to the driver and rushing to get inside. 

Once you’re in, you look around frantically for Trish. Your search comes up empty as she’s nowhere to be seen. 

“Uh, are you Y/N?” A voice to the right of you asks. Turning, you are staring at America’s precious treasure: Steve Rogers. He’s gorgeous, even more beautiful in person. But, the big thing is: how the hell does he know your name?

“I am… Hi. Can I help you?” You look at him confused, no grasp on what could be happening. 

“Trish told me to meet you here.” 

“Ah.” That’s all you say. Internally, you’re facepalming yourself. And, planning on how to get revenge on your supposed friend.

Steve clears his throat and stands up, wiping his sweaty palms onto his pants. “I’m sorry. You were clearly forced here. I’ll just get going.”

Before he can walk out the door, you grab his arm, effectively stopping him from leaving. “Wait.” 

When he turns to look back at you, a large sigh leaves your lips. “I’m sorry. I will admit that Trish set me up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be here.” 

He visibly relaxes, his shoulders falling back down. “Would you like to stay and order something then?” He gestures towards the table he was just sitting at. 

“I’d like that.” 

---

The two of you end up staying at the diner for four hours, talking about anything and everything. 

“So, you ended up naked on the Quinjet? With everyone to see?” You’re laughing hysterically, your words barely understandable as you try to talk through your chuckles. 

Steve leans in slightly, his elbows resting on the table. “No, no, thankfully it was only Bruce on board.” 

“I’m sure he loved that.” 

“We were both embarrassed for a while. Avoided each other for a little bit.” Tapping his fingers against the metal surface, he shakes his head, the memory now fresh in his mind. 

“So, how long have you known Trish?” you ask, curiosity taking over.

“For about four years now. I met her back at the hospital when I dropped off some injured civilians.” 

The information goes through your ears, but doesn’t completely process in your brain. The idea that Trish and Steve are friends is something you can’t seem to grasp. 

Steve’s deep voice pulls you from your thoughts. “What about you?” 

Fiddling with the salt shaker, you smile at his question. “Trish and I have known each other since grade school. This boy was picking on me in class and Trish punched him in the face. She got suspended for a week.” 

The both of you laugh at the memory. 

“Sounds like Trish,” Steve manages to get out through a fit of chuckles. 

Placing your chin in your hand, you smile. “Yeah, she’s something else. She actually talked about you last week when we were out. About how she wanted to set us up. I guess she successfully accomplished that.” 

Steve smiles back at you. “Yeah, I’m sorry that this was so random for you. She told me she knew someone that I’d like to be friends with and well, I couldn’t pass up on the opportunity to meet another friend. Especially one who knows Trish.” 

His confession is like a punch to the stomach. The past four hours may have been short, but in that time, you’ve quickly started to develop feelings for the man in front of you. And in reality, he thinks the two of you are only meeting to create a friendship. Just your luck. 

Taking a sip of your drink, you try to ignore the ever growing disappointment spreading throughout your body. 

In that moment, you decide on one thing: you don’t want to ruin this friendship. So, you take a deep breath and stare into Steve’s eyes as you pick up your glass and lie through your teeth. “To our new friendship!” 

Steve lifts his glass, clinking it with yours. “To friendship!”

You are screwed.

---

As time goes on, you and Steve grow closer… as friends. Always as friends. Unfortunately for you, your romantic feelings are also growing… out of control. To deal with it, you’ve gotten back into playing your guitar and writing songs. Of course, the songs are about your feelings for Steve, but hey, no one is perfect. 

You’ve also recently gotten into posting your songs on your Tiktok. Spewing your feelings to strangers is somehow soothing. 

As you post your new Tiktok, Steve is back at the Avenger’s compound, sitting in the living room with Sam and Bucky. 

Sam is scrolling through his phone as he stumbles across your video. “Oh, look at this!” He shoves the phone into Steve’s face.

Steve blinks slowly and stares at the screen. “What am I looking at?”

“Tiktok.”

Bucky sits down on the couch, a bowl of cereal in his hand. “What the hell is a Tiktok?” 

Sam sighs. He forgot he was dealing with two old-timers. “It’s an app where people post videos. But, look! Y/N popped up on my screen!” 

Suddenly interested, Steve grabs the phone and brings it closer to his face. “What is she posting about?” 

“She’s singing. An original song, I’m guessing.” 

“Y/N sings?” Bucky speaks up, his mouth full. 

“Apparently. And, please chew before talking. I don’t want to see that, man.” 

Bucky shrugs before continuing to eat his breakfast. 

Steve watches the video, your voice warming his heart. “Who do you think she’s singing about?”

“Well, based on the lyrics, I’m guessing you,” Sam says, taking his phone back to click onto your profile and scroll through the rest of your videos. They all consist of songs, each one presumably about Steve. 

“She’s definitely talking about you,” Bucky says, watching the videos over Sam’s shoulder. 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think the tinman is right.” 

Steve’s heart clenches. If you do have feelings for him, he needs to find you right away. “I’ve gotta go.” 

Jumping up, he runs to the elevator to leave. Sam looks over at Bucky. “Where is he going?” 

“To go get his girl,” Bucky says, shaking his head. “And to really think you said I’m the dumb one.” 

---

Finally arriving at the park, you find Steve seated a few feet away on a bench. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” you ask as you sit down next to him. His message seemed urgent, asking you to meet him right away. 

Steve stares out in front of him before turning to give you his full attention. “I have to tell you something.” 

“That doesn’t sound too good.”

“No… no. It’s good. I mean, it might not be good for you. It depends on how you feel about what I’m about to say. It’s good for me. I mean-”

You place a hand on his arm and give him a soft squeeze. “Whoa, okay. Just say it, Steve.” 

Steve takes a deep breath and places his hand on top of yours. “Okay, so I… I saw your Tiktok.” 

In shock, you back away. “My Tiktok? How do you even know what that is?” 

Chuckling, Steve looks up at the sky. “I didn’t. It was Sam who showed me. We went through your profile and Sam and Bucky seemed to have this crazy notion that your songs are about me-”

“Would you want them to be about you?”

Steve looks back down at you. “Yes, if I’m being honest. I’d like that very much.” Suddenly, he stands up and starts pacing in front of you. “I know before I said this was a friendship, but you’ve become more than that to me. I’m just not good with things like this and I didn’t know how to tell you-”

You stand up and stop him in his place, your fingers gripping his bicep. “Hey, you're rambling again.”

He smiles as he reaches out to touch your cheek. “Yeah, you do that to me. You make my mind go crazy. In a good way... And, well what I’m trying to tell you is that I have feelings for you. As more than a friend.”

A low chuckle escapes you. “Yeah, I figured as much, Cap.” 

“So, do you… do you maybe feel the same way?” 

Pulling him to you by his shirt collar, you’re dangerously close, faces only inches away from each other. “You’re damn right I do.” 

Steve sighs, relief evident on his face. “Oh, thank God.” 

He raises his remaining hand up to grasp your other cheek and kiss you. The feeling of his lips on yours brings a chill down your spine. You could do this all day, getting lost in the feeling of him. 

When he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours, his heavy breaths fanning across your face. “Maybe you could sing one of your songs to me in person? I really liked them.” 

“Got some time now? We can head back to my place.” 

Steve presses his lips against you again, giving you a small kiss. “You’ve read my mind, doll.” 

The two of you head back to your apartment, hand in hand, arms swinging between you. Steve’s smile is contagious, his eyes bright with excitement. 

“We’ll have to get Trish a little gift.” 

Confused, you tilt your head. “For what?” 

“For introducing us. You know, our friend setup.”

“Oh, right. Just friends?” 

Steve’s hold on your hand tightens, his fingers interlocking with yours. “No, never. You’ll always be so much more.”

[wannabe-fic-writer]

All Over Again - Chapter 9

Summary: What was lost can be found. 

Warning: 18+ Smut, Language, Violence. 

Ch. 8

* * * * * *

Each step against the pavement accompanies a quick exhale. The surrounding trees blur by, one single focus in mind. 

The compound comes back into view after the last turn. A group of agents, led by Steve, jogging by. 

The blonde man nods in passing, then quickly focusing back on the trainee group, and directing them down the path you’d just taken.

You stop just outside the compound doors, the glass giving clear view of the very reason you have been avoiding the compound for the past three days. 

New Years day had hit you hard in more ways than one. Saying goodbye to Lena always sucked, with the turn your relationship took though, it was even worse. While you knew it wasn’t goodbye forever, you still held her in your arms for as long as you could.

That sucky feeling amplified the moment you stepped foot back into the compound.

Spending half your time with Lena and the other half working meant little time to address what happened the night before Christmas Eve. Apparently though Natasha had had enough of your avoidance and waited up for you on New Years. 

Your ex-girlfriend was incredibly adamant on reassuring you that she had no idea that was going to happen and asked a hundred and one questions about how you felt and if you were okay and so on.

At the time you had no answer, then again, you don’t know if you have one now. Not that it matters, since Natasha notices you enter and part of what’s about to come is expected. 

She freezes for a split second and then eases out from her place between Bruce and the wall. The big green man frowns, smile slipping away as he eyes Natasha. Being trained as she is makes it easy for her to pull a mask of contentment and even easier to slip away from him and follow you down the hall with no questions asked.

“Y/n,” She calls. Light but quick footsteps sounding. 

Not looking back, you open your bedroom door and step in, knowing Natasha comes in behind you. A heavy sigh wracks your body,“ I still don’t have any answers for you Romanoff.”

She doesn’t miss a beat, quickly retorting,“ back to last names huh? Just a week ago you called me Tash?”

“Yeah well you weren’t engaged when I did that.” 

The comment is made without thought. Anger forming in an unexpected way. 

Conflicting emotions rise inside Natasha and present themselves as a frown. She’s glad it seems you’ve figured out how you feel. But also anxious beyond belief about this reaction. 

“So you do know how you feel.” 

You sigh, shoulder’s dropping,“ no I don’t and honestly I don’t know why it matters so much.”

She steps further in, green eyes damn near burning your profile,“ because I feel like this is going to make me lose you. . . again.”

“It won’t.”

Your words aren’t as convincing as you’d like them to be. It’s your way of brushing Natasha off and she knows it. 

Her hand falters as she reaches for your shoulder, then she pushes aside that hesitance, and rests it there,“ we both know that’s not true.” She squeezes a bit,“ there was a time when you promised me nothing but honesty.”

She watches as your head rises, gaze fixed outside the window as you gather your thoughts. You then shrug her hand away, and finally turn to face her,“ look Natasha,” her eyebrows raise as e/c meets green,“ I can’t tell you how this makes me feel because quite frankly there are far too many emotions for me to decipher right now. I mean I just- just, came to terms with you and Bruce dating. You can’t expect me to just be fine with this so soon.”

In a split second, a literal slip up, the redhead says something she wishes she hadn’t,“ if that’s the case don’t expect me to be fine with you all of a sudden dating Lena.”

Shocked, you resist the urge to back step, only because that would cause you to fall back on the bed. With a frown you reply,“ what are you talking about all of a sudden?”

Figuring there’s no turning back now, she says,“ I mean exactly that. You go away for like three days to play devil’s advocate for Stark Industries, and when you come back you’re all about Lena who you barely know.”

“For once Natasha you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about! Need I remind you, seeing as you didn’t know in the first place, I was in National City for two months. All of that time I spent with Lena, not to mention we kept in communication when I came back.” You are trying your damnedest to keep your upset in check but whatever this is she’s pulling, it’s pissing you off.

Her eyes roll and the single step back she takes makes you take a breath in,“ funny. It took you nearly seven years to even consider dating me.”

The look of absolute bewilderment on your face would be laughable under any other circumstance. Wide eyed, your hands raise to press against the sides of your head,“ wh- I- where the hell is all this coming from Natasha?! Genuinely what is the point of any of this! I’m sorry that I don’t have all the answers to your questions. I’m sorry that I can’t exactly come to terms with your engagement just yet but I would never do this to you.”

“Y/n I-”

“No Natasha I told you the first time you asked me that I just needed time and you haven’t given me that. And now you’re taking shots at my relationship.” With a heavy sigh, you push a hand up through your hair,“ I. Need. Time. And if I don’t get that then this friendship or whatever it is, won’t continue.”

Having said that, you brush past the redhead, and leave your own room. 

Thoughts speed through your mind like the goddamn Flash and it gives you the worst headache. 

Out of all the ways that little interaction could’ve gone that wasn’t what you were expecting. Honestly, you hated having to say that but you meant it. There’s only so much pushing you can take from her, especially on this topic. 

The fact that things had seemingly just fallen into place made this all the more sucky and you wish more than anything that you could either fix it all or get away. 

“Y/n! How was your-”

Wanda’s words are cut short when you throw your arms around her in a tight hug. 

The younger woman makes it a point to avoid reading your thoughts, or anyone else’s, without explicit consent. But your thoughts are so loud she hears them without even trying. She feels the waves of emotions crashing over you: confusion, anger, regret, hurt. All of it no doubt the reason you’re seeking comfort from her right now.

Carefully, she takes hold of your waist and turns you so that you’re both in the room, before closing the door, and reciprocating the hug. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay Y/n,” she squeezes you a little,“ even if it may not seem like it right now.”

A shaky breath fans across her neck and she prays to god you don’t start crying cause then she’ll start crying and usually when that starts it takes a minute to stop. 

Somehow, through immense frustration, you manage to withhold your tears. It’s not so subtle, as deep breaths and slight squeeze to Wanda’s shoulders clue her in to your restraint. But she just let’s what you’re doing play out, only moving when her legs start to grow tired. 

The witch eases you both on to the bed, maintaining her hold on you, and sporadically whispering a reassurance. 

Neither of you pay much attention to how long you’re there but being in the woman’s presence and on the receiving end of her comfort helps a lot. When you do move it’s cause you’d rather not be the reason Wanda’s entire left side goes numb. 

Luckily, since she’d heard your thoughts, that clear to you by the feeling of her presence in your mind, you don’t have to say anything about what happened. Nor do you have to express how you feel, but it comes anyway. 

Pushing yourself up, you rest against the headboard and look down at your fingers.

“Sorry for-”

“No.” Wanda’s hand quickly grabs yours and squeezes,“ don’t apologize. I’m always going to be here for you, no questions asked.”

You look at her for a moment, the younger woman smiling softly at you. Then you scoot down a bit to rest your head on her shoulder.“ Natasha won’t stop pressuring me. And then had the audacity, after I told her I needed time to get used to it, she started talking about my relationship with Lena. Like. . . things aren’t all of sudden. Right?” You find yourself frowning, a very miniscule bit of doubt rising in you. 

Wanda sighs,“ come on Y/n. Don’t let this disagreement make you question things. I’ve seen you with Lena, it’s real. Something like that doesn’t depend on time. I wouldn't've been surprised if you came back the first time saying you were dating.”

A soft chuckle falls from your lips at her words. 

Genuinely had your mind and heart not been so caught up on Natasha at the time you could see things between you and Lena happening faster. The woman is so incredible, which you knew from the very start.

Your best friend’s hand rises to your head and fingers run through your hair.“ You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah of course. Just, this sucks. It seemed like everything was perfect.” 

Refraining from scoffing, Wanda just shakes her head,“ well honey I hate to tell you but nothing’s perfect.”

A snort of a laugh leaves your lips at her term of endearment and she smiles brightly at being the cause of your partly lifted spirit. Why it caused you to laugh so hard you don’t know but it felt good to after everything that just happened. 

When you finally settle with a deep breath, Wanda raises her eyebrows,“ what’re you gonna do?”

You shrug.

“If you need a break I’m sure Lena would love to have you again.” She points out, nudging you with her elbow playfully.

With a sigh, you shake your head,“ as much as I would absolutely love to go see her, I can’t. One: she literally just left three hours ago and two: we have a mission to prep for. Cap said it’s priority so I can’t reassign.”

“Right.” She nods along, remembering. 

Silence creeps in and you both take it in. Wanda’s fingers continue to run through your hair and you absentmindedly pick at the fringe of her cardigan. This very position is where you stay for the next hour or two, conversation rising and falling about everything and nothing. Wanda ensures that she doesn’t mention Natasha or the situation at all. Which you’re grateful for. 

While the younger woman hates that you’re having to deal with this, she’s also glad to be spending some time with you. 

It’s not as though you’d neglected your friendship or anything, but with all your back and forth from NYC to NC, the amount of time you spent together was nearly cut in half. So when you end up turning the night into an impromptu sleepover there’s a smile all over her face. And it carried into the next morning where she gets to watch you make crepes for breakfast, the whole time spent joking around and singing Hamilton songs(yes she’s been learning the lyrics, especially to her favorites). 

The day is spent goofing off until you have to go train and then go over mission info. There was still a lot of information to be collected but that was for Bucky and Steve to worry about so after the meeting, alongside avoiding Natasha entirely, you go back to your room. 

Lying back on the bed, you pick up your phone to find the numerous messages from Lena and her friends, mainly Kara and Winn. 

An instant smile plays on your lips at the CEO’s text. In an instant you ask if she’s busy and the moment she says no you’re calling. 

“Hi.”

Just the sound of her voice alone makes you sigh.“ I miss you too much. I’m getting on a plane. I’ll be there tomorrow.” 

Her giggle sounds, racing straight from your ear to your heart, causing it to speed up in an all too familiar way. A way only Lena could make it race. 

“I’ll send the jet immediately.” She says in turn, both of you now laughing. Then ending with sighs, yours slightly heavier, which Lena picks up on. 

She could hear in your voice the second you spoke that something, whatever it was, wasn’t right. So she asks.“ Is everything okay love?” 

Another chuckle comes from you, this time humorless,“ am I that easy to read?” 

“No I just know you enough to tell when somethings the matter.” 

Little does she know her words make a new annoyance rise in you. Annoyance at Natasha for even having said what she did and annoyance at yourself for doubting for even a second. 

Your girlfriend gets more and more worried as the seconds pass. You can’t even see the way her hand rests gently against her desk as if she were resting it over your hand. She wants nothing more than to be there for you, physically. That isn’t an option though.

She settles for saying,“ Y/n you know you can tell me anything.” 

Which you do know is true. It’s why you tell her, at least a summary, of what happened with Natasha. Lena’s calm response is slightly surprising. Then again you have a much deeper reason to be upset at Natasha than you. 

“Well I imagine it must be pretty hard for both of you.”

Your eyebrows raise,“ uh- what?”

Lena chuckles softly,“ Y/n there’s a lot between the two of you, relationship and break up wise, stuff I’m sure you haven’t even told me. And I’m not excusing what she said by any means,” her tone takes just a bit of a hard tone when she says that then softens again,“ but neither of you should be expecting the other to be okay with everything.”

Taking a deep breath, you pause, and release loudly,“ is this what it’s like dating a genius.”

“Of course it is.” Her voice inflates a bit jokingly,“ Infinite wisdom is all I can provide.”

“I’m sure that’s not true. You have much more to offer Miss Luthor.” You’re quick to tell her, meaning it more than she could ever know. 

Quiet passes over for a moment, near silent breaths sounding before Lena speaks. Her words having not been heard since that first time on New Year's Eve. 

“I love you.”

A splitting grin hits your face and you feel overly childlike when you bury your face in the pillow beside you,“ I love you too Lena.”

Sadly your conversation can’t go on, both of you being pulled away, Lena by a meeting and you by Wanda. After two quick, softly spoken goodbyes, you hang up. 

The look on Wanda’s face as you both walk down the Compound’s hallways makes you raise a brow,“ what’s that look for Maximoff?”

She shrugs, looking off nonchalantly,“ I just like seeing how happy she makes you.”

“I-” heat rushes up your face,“ yeah. She does.” With a short chuckle you wrap an arm around her shoulders,“ you make me happy to Wan.”

“Oh I know.” She nods, smiling smugly.

Rolling your eyes, you both head to the common room for the usual team movie night. E/c lands on Bruce and Natasha cuddling and you look away, recalling Lena’s words and what happened earlier. 

This is going to be tough on both of you. How it ends you don’t know but thinking about it is too much, so for the time being you’re going to focus on what’s most important.

* * * * * *

Taglist: @username23345 @depressed-bi-bitch @fayhar @trikruismybitch @marvel-wlw @aznblossom​ @chicken-wang09​ @bitchtits15 @coxmicbabygirl​ @blackluthxr ​ @starlingelliot

[wbwest]

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West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 2/10/17

Last night, my friend Mike and I went to check out The Lego Batman Movie. Seeing as how we were the only two people in the theater, I’m not quite sure what its weekend box office is gonna look like. I bet John Wick: Chapter 2 takes #1, since that’s where everyone seemed to be heading. Anyway, I LOVED the film. First up, it considers EVERYTHING canon. If you saw it onscreen, then it happened in that universe. The whole thing is kind of surreal, as the movie focuses on Batman’s loner status, while also confronting his complicated relationship with The Joker. On the Batman Beyond cartoon, there’s an episode where old Bruce Wayne and his protege, Terry McGinnis, go to a Batman-themed musical. Bruce can’t get over how goofy the whole thing seems, but I feel like this film is the movie version of that musical. It doesn’t have the camp of the ’66 show, but it’s a movie that never really takes itself seriously. I loved the liberties they took, like making Jim and Barbara Gordon people of color (voiced by Hector Elizondo and Rosario Dawson). It doesn’t hurt the story any, while bringing some diversity to the Lego world. I also liked how it tied in concepts from The Lego Movie, such as the fact that Batman is a Master Builder. I’m not going to spoil the movie for you, but I feel like it’s strong until the middle of the second act, at which point it switches from a Lego Batman movie to a Lego Dimensions movie. Trust me, you’ll understand when you see it, and I think you’ll agree that the story gets a bit weaker at that point. In any case, I can’t wait for it to hit Blu Ray, so I can rewatch it a thousand times to catch all the Easter eggs.

This week, we got a trailer for a new season of Arrow. Wait, what? That was actually for Iron Fist? Huh. Yeah, I was really underwhelmed by that trailer. Finn Jones doesn’t seem like a great actor, there’s not a lot of Kung Fu on display, and it seems like it’s more focused on corporate takeover, as Danny Rand tries to reclaim his family’s business. Since it’s a Netflix Marvel show, there’s also Rosario Dawson and another damn hallway fight. I welcome the former, but I’m SO over the latter. I’ll get around to watching it, but the days of me binge-watching a Marvel season the weekend of its release are long gone. Considering I still need to watch Daredevil season 2 and Luke Cage, I’ll be lucky to get around to it in 2017. That said, I know a lot of y’all will binge it that day, and will tell me if it sucks or not.

In other TV news, it’s rumored that NBC wants to spin Saturday Night Live‘s Weekend Update segment into a weekly 30-minute show. I guess they looked at John Oliver and Samantha Bee, and realized they might be leaving money on the table. Still, Jost and Che as “polarizing”, at best, and I’m not sure if that segment has the legs to air 30 minutes every week, in the same format. Plus, would it also remain a part of SNL, or would it be excised completely? I think this would’ve been a good idea in an election year, as there’s just so much news to cover, but now that all that is behind us, I’m just not sure this is going to work. And then what happens? If it does leave SNL, would it come crawling back next season, with its tail between its legs? The difference between Last Week Tonight/Full Frontal and Weekend Update is that those cable shows are actually smart, with smart hosts. Plus, they can get away with a bit more because cable. Weekend Update has gotten a lot more biting since Trump was elected, but is it too little, too late? Are the SNL writers up to the task of this project? I just feel like it’s a bad idea that will dilute the Weekend Update and SNL brands.

It was also announced that Viacom will be rebranding Spike TV as the Paramount Network. In my lifetime, I don’t think I’ve witnessed a network go through as many format changes as that one. As far back as I can remember, it was The Nashville Network. Then, to appeal to a wider audience, it became The National Network. Then, to appeal to dudebros, it became Spike TV. Now, I don’t even know who they’re targeting. I also don’t know why they chose this particular name. It’s like they have short memories or something. After all, there’s already been a Paramount Network. Sure, most of us referred to it as UPN and not the United Paramount Network, but that’s what those letters stood for. And it was the definition of “failed experiment”. Sure, it hobbled along for about 10 years, but its legacy is basically Star Trek: Voyager, America’s Next Top Model and Girlfriends. Outside of that, it gave us such critical darlings as Shasta McNasty, Homeboys In Outer Space, and The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer. Hey, let’s see how many shitty (that means all of them) UPN shows I can list without looking them up: DiResta, Legend, Platypus Man, Hitz, Good News, Sparks, Dilbert, Marker, The Watcher, The Sentinel…yeah,that’s enough to make my point, which is you probably don’t remember any of these. UPN did NOTHING for the Paramount brand, and its effects are still being felt 11 years after its demise. So why, WHY would Viacom want to go down this road again? Anyway, the early plans for the rebranding call for the network to be a warehouse for hit Viacom programming from their other networks. It’s basically just gonna be the Now That’s What I Call Viacom Channel, posting the highlights from MTV, Nick, Nick Jr, etc. In fact, there are no concrete plans for the future of other Viacom networks, such as VH1, CMT, and TVLand, but reports say that there’s no immediate push to shut them down.

It was also rumored that there are already talks of an American Idol revival, but this time on NBC. Now, keep in mind the show just ended its run on Fox last year. The idea is that The Voice would be reduced to one cycle a year, and then they would slot Idol in one of its old slots. I feel like NBC sees the value in that show in that it actually creates household names – something The Voice has failed to do after 11 seasons. The focus is too much on the judges, and the winners have gone nowhere. Quick, name a winner of The Voice without looking it up. Hell, I watched the first season, and I can’t even remember that guy (I looked it up: Javier Colon. Who? Right). So, there’s definitely something to be gained from acquiring the franchise. That said, though, I also feel like a network only gets one of those shows. Fox had Idol, NBC had The Voice, ABC had Rising Star, and CBS had some show that got canceled that I forgot. Fox hurt Idol by double-dipping and picking up The X-Factor. That show never caught on in the US, and it hurt the Fox singing competition brand. If NBC picks up Idol, it’s going to do the same to The Voice. I mean, how much longer does America want to see Blake Shelton and Adam Levine bicker at each other? Sure, there’s a new dynamic now that Blake and Gwen Stefani are dating and both judges, but unless the show breaks them up, I don’t know how engaging that’s gonna be. And Miley Cyrus as a coach? Now, let me say that Bangerz was a great album. I’ve written about how awesome it was. But I don’t think Miley is established enough as a singer to be coaching anyone. She’s more known for her antics than her music. Then again, Paula Abdul was a has been, judging the talent of tomorrow, but that was intrinsic to the formula. Ultimately, America chose the Idol, and the show brought in established stars as coaches. The Voice has an unnecessary layer. They have talented judges, but then they also have the coaches, and then America. As Idol showed us, ANYBODY cane a judge, which is going to be an important thing for NBC to remember once it comes to for contracts to be renegotiated. Anyway, I think Idol needs to rest a few more years before they dust it off. It was once a powerhouse, but television AND music changed over time. Let the industry figure out its next steps before trying to reenter it.

I don’t know about you, but I grew up with women, which meant I did a tour of duty with soap operas. I started with Days of Our Lives back in the late 80s, then shifted to The Young and the Restless, and then shifted back to Days in the 00s. And besides Victor Newman, there is no soap villain quite as diabolical as Stefano DiMera. Well, the actor who portrayed him, Joseph Mascolo, died back in December, but his final filmed episode aired yesterday.  Although Mascolo had been battling Alzheimers for the past few years, he had portrayed the character for around 30 years. For some reason (I haven’t watched in a while), he was in prison (he’s killed/led to the death of a lot of folks. But they typically come back after contract negotiations), and at the end of the episode, he escapes! What a beautiful ending, knowing that he will be forever “in the wind”, as they can’t really catch him again unless they recast him. Seeing as how the rumor is Days is coming to an end this year, they won’t even have time to do that, with scripts written about 6 months in advance. So, here’s a toast to one of the greatest villains to ever grace the television set. You will be missed, you evil son of a bitch.

Let’s get a little controversial, shall we? This week, comedian George Lopez got in hot water for kicking a woman out of one of his shows when she objected to a racially-charged joke he told. Basically he said, “There are only two rules in the Latino family: Don’t marry somebody black and don’t park in front of our house.” Apparently, a woman gave him the finger after that joke, to which he began to tell her to “sit [her] fucking ass down or get the fuck out.” Now, comedians are on his side because they say he was just shutting down a heckler. Meanwhile, the general public is on her side because they’re offended by the joke, and don’t see why he had to kick her out for objecting. Here’s my take: First of all, he’s told variations of this joke for years. He used to joke about how his grandmother wouldn’t even want President Obama in her house. If you’re familiar with his material, then his joke the other night shouldn’t surprise you. Now, for the folks offended by the joke: was he wrong? All I know is my own life experience. I dated a Cuban, and as polite and Ivy League-educated as I could be, I was still the Black guy who could only illicit grunts from her father. And I don’t know anyone named Esmeralda Jenkins or Manuela Johnson. Growing up where I did, Black guys didn’t get Latinas or Asian girls. Those girls’ families weren’t gonna stand for that! So, this is one of those jokes that’s grounded in truth. It might rub some folks the wrong way, but it’s not necessarily untrue. Where I stand, I don’t think he really did anything wrong. After all, that’s how comedians handle folks who they feel are interrupting their show, and the joke itself was par for the Lopez course. I wouldn’t say it was “haha funny”, but it wasn’t wrong.

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

An animated series based on the Castlevania video game is coming to Netflix later this year. Hopefully it will star gay Simon Belmont from Captain N: The Game Master.

Kate McKinnon will voice Ms. Frizzle in Netflix’s reboot of The Magic School Bus

Speaking of Netflix, Love, The OA, and Trollhunters have all been renewed by the streaming service.

Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, announced that she’s retiring after her next album is released.

After 25 years over covering the Olympics, Bob Costas announced he’s handing the reins over to Mike Tirico

Entertainment newsmagazine show The Insider has been canceled after 13 seasons.

Formerly of USA’s Satisfaction, Blair Redford has been cast as the first mutant in Fox’s X-Men TV series

Not to be outdone by Beyoncé, it was announced that George and Amal Clooney are expecting twins. Those Hollywood In Vitro clinics are working overtime these days!

Speaking of babies, Jason Statham proved he’s the Transporter of Sperm, as he announced he’s expecting a baby with girlfriend Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

I don’t like Tom Brady. Don’t like a thing about him. I find it odd that you can be suspended for cheating AND win the Super Bowl in the same damn season. That said, that was a Hell of a comeback during Sunday’s Super Bowl LI. Somehow, the Atlanta Falcons blew a 25-point lead, allowing the New England Patriots to mount an amazing comeback and win their 5th Super Bowl title. It was the first Super Bowl to go into overtime. There was Edelman’s amazing catch. Some are calling it the most exciting game of football ever. But in the end there can only be one winner, and that was the Patriots. So, with that in mind, the New England Patriots had the West Week Ever.