#but we just got one about a long term resident who has been showing escalating aggression 😞

[magnus-and-the-dragon]

the shelter i volunteer at sends out notices when an animal passes away or is scheduled to be put down, and I genuinely respect and appreciate the transparency, but also… fuck, they’re so jarring.

[itsthenovelteafactor]

Vanya and the Phantom

I asked and y’all answered (special thanks to @schizoidwire and @the-aro-ace-arrow-ace  and all the people who responded to my earlier post for encouraging me!), so it is time for how The Phantom of the Opera song introduction can be read as a look into Vanya’s self-narrative and also foreshadows future events in a really subtle and interesting way. 

I’m channeling my inner Elliot and going into full conspiracy mode. This is gonna be a long one, y’all. 

Part One: In Which I Expose Myself as a Former Theater Kid

So, for those who aren’t familiar with The Phantom of the Opera, it was originally a novel by French writer Gaston Leroux back in 1909. In 1986, Andrew Lloyd Webber rewrote it as a musical. For purposes of my analysis here, I am just going to be discussing the musical because 1) the score used in the opening scene is from it and 2) I’ve never read the book. (If anyone out there has read the book and wants to weigh in, please do!) 

It’s a very aesthetic show, and draws on a lot of gothic themes and imagery. The plot follows an opera house, and specifically a young chorus girl named Christine Daaé. I’m not going to explain the whole show plot in detail because wikipedia exists, but I will do a quick overview here and point out some things as they relate to things I’ll be discussing later. Also there will be a test after and it will NOT be multiple choice.

The show begins when the opera house is sold to new owners who 1) just want to make money and 2) do not respect the opera house’s resident ghost (who isn’t really a ghost, but we’ll get to that later.) When the Phantom makes his presence known, and freaks out the resident prima donna singer (who will be relevant later) Carlotta, who says she won’t sing under these conditions. It is then that Christine appears. She’s quiet and humble and has always lived in the background, but is incredibly talented. The woman who runs the chorus (also owner of the opera house’s resident braincell) suggests Christine sing the part. She does, and is amazing. Everyone is blown away, and she’s catapulted into instant fame and success. 

We later learn that Christine has been studying under the Phantom, who appears to her in mirrors. She calls him the Angel of Music, and thinks that he was sent to teach her by her recently deceased father. He isn’t. He’s actually pretty malicious, and is obsessed with Christine, wants to control her voice, and doesn’t like her dating anyone. Which is a bit awkward when her childhood friend shows up and promptly falls in love with her. 

Anyways, Carlotta is jealous of the attention Christine has been getting and threatens to leave prompting the new owners to cut Christine from the program. The Phantom doesn’t like it at all, sends a bunch of letters, things escalate, people are murdered, and the whole first act ends with the chandelier falling from the ceiling and crashing onto the stage (which is done with really cool effects, oftentimes beginning the show hanging over the audience. It’s a BIG MOMENT and one of the most iconic ones from the show. This will also be relevant later.)

Act two takes place a few months later, wherein no one has seen the Phantom. Shock of all shocks, though, he’s not dead. He’s been writing an opera and he wants Christine to star in it. More stuff happens, you learn the backstory of the Phantom (which is pretty sad, ngl, but in no way makes him less of a creep) and the story ends with the Phantom kidnapping Christine and giving her an ultimatum: stay with him forever, or he kills Raoul (aka childhood friend/romantic interest guy). She agrees to stay with him and he’s so moved by her compassion that he lets them both go and disappears forever. 

Part Two: Casting the Characters

That’s interesting, Rosie (note sarcasm) but you said this was about The Umbrella Academy? I did, in fact. So, we meet Vanya when she’s playing a medley of songs from The Phantom of the Opera. Since it’s primarily the melodies and not one of the orchestral pieces from her performance later (I don’t think), we can assume she’s just playing it for herself (which is nice! good on you, Vanya). 

Maybe she’s never seen the play and just likes the score, but for purposes here, let’s assume she’s familiar with it. 

You can tell a lot about a person by the stories they connect with (for example, I like TUA because I like fun sibling dynamics, found family, music, and being sad). And I think that it makes sense that The Phantom of the Opera would be a story that resonates with Vanya. The overlooked chorus girl finds power in music, and, after years in the background, is finally given a chance to show how special she is. 

So, yeah. I don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility that Vanya sees herself as Christine. There are some discrepancies, sure, but this is Vanya’s self-narrative, which we learn pretty much immediately is unreliable. (Love her, but it’s true.) And if Vanya is Christine, then we can try and tap into her perspective to look at some other characters. 

Anyways remember Carlotta (the prima donna opera singer who always got the spotlight and tried to destroy everything good that happened to Christine because she felt threatened that someone might be as good/better than her whose entire personality and role in the story I just summarized, rendering my plot recap useless)? Carlotta is how Vanya views Allison. (Kind of all her siblings, but her relationship with Allison is the most important here.)

Think about the scene in the cabin? 

“You couldn’t risk me threatening your place in the house! You couldn’t handle the fact that Dad might find me special!” - Vanya, having a mental breakdown.

This always struck me as an interesting accusation to throw, since prior to this moment, I don’t think there was any indication that Allison had ever felt threatened by Vanya. She excluded her, sure, and wasn’t super friendly at times, but the idea that Allison has been pulling strings to keep Vanya out of her spotlight is new. But that is exactly the role Carlotta plays in Phantom. 

Fun fact! At one point in the musical, the Phantom enchants Carlotta so that she loses her voice right before coming on stage. 

Part Three: The Phantom of the Opera is there

So based on everything I’ve said so far, the most straightforward reading is then, that Leonard Peabody/Harold Jenkins (who for purposes here I’ll call Leonard) is the stand in for the Phantom, which works... really well. Both in helping to understand Vanya and also because it foreshadows the twist of season one in a really cool way.

So, the Phantom appears to Christine first not as an enemy, but as a friend and teacher, who encourages her to be more confident in her abilities. He trains her to develop her singing ability. While the teacher-student dynamic is actually inverted initially with Vanya and Leonard, from the get go, he is showering her with compliments, encouraging her to be confident in her abilities, and, at least on the surface, supporting her in a way she hasn’t been supported before (he’s a trash human but an expert manipulator). 

But, in the play, the Phantom is also very possessive over Christine and her power (er, I mean voice). He also is perfectly willing to kill and/or hurt people who he views as standing in the way of Christine and her success (see the aforementioned Carlotta incident). Which is exactly what Leonard does to Vanya. He kills the first chair violinist to help her get it, and orchestrates a whole master plan to get her to reveal her powers on his terms. 

Even the part where he starts “training” her to use her powers kind of resembles the second act of the play. The Phantom wrote a play for Christine and she’s going to star in it, whether she wants to or not. 

(One could even make the argument of the parallels between Christine believing the Phantom was sent by her father to teach her and Leonard showing up because of his revenge scheme against Vanya’s father, but I honestly don’t have much support for that.) 

Part Three: Two Conflicting Narratives

So, as you might’ve noticed, I sort of have two different threads of analysis going on right now. 1) The Phantom of the Opera parallel is part of Vanya’s self-narrative and in it she mischaracterizes Allison, making her more suspicious of her motivations and 2) Leonard Peabody is clearly the Phantom and doesn’t bother being subtle about it. I hope that I’ve been convincing (or at least intriguing) for you to get to this point, because here is where they come together.

Vanya has this parallel going, but she doesn’t see Leonard as the Phantom. In the beginning at least, he’s her Raoul. If I had to guess, I’d say Reginald Hargreeves is the Phantom in Vanya’s self-narrative (says he’ll train her but wants to manipulate her and keep her locked away for himself, strict teacher who doesn’t really care about her well being, wearing a mask to appear more normal/human... she wouldn’t exactly be wrong). Leonard, on the other hand, is Vanya’s supporter. He validates her, and believes in her, and taker her side when Carlotta and the opera house owners (er, the rest of the Hargreeves children) gang up on her and conspire to keep her out. 

This is all building to, of course, the final confrontation. The Phantom says Christine has to pick one or the other. When Allison comes to talk to Vanya, Vanya feels as if she’s been given an ultimatum and lashes out.

And that’s where everything (including this parallel) starts to crumble. 

(I honestly don’t know a lot about the other characters and how they fit in. I suppose we could have Five = Raoul if we ignore romance plot and focus on the childhood friend that hasn’t been seen in a while angle? And maybe also Pogo = Madame Giry. Vanya doesn’t really have any friends to be Meg.) 

Part Four: It’s All About the Moon

So that is kind of the gist of The Phantom of the Opera as a window into Vanya’s self-narrative theory, but there are a couple of other loosely related ideas I thought I might as well bring up since this thing is already ridiculously long. 

Remember how I mentioned the chandelier is like, THE scene from The Phantom of the Opera back in part one, and said it’d be relevant later? Bringing that back now, because I’m going to pull a Luther and connect everything to the moon. 

So, to get the obvious out of the way, the moon exploding and the chandelier coming crashing to the stage are similar because something falls, breaks into a bunch of pieces, destroys a bunch of stuff, and creates a powerful and memorable image to close off before an act/season break (the next installment of which begins with a time jump). 

Additionally, it’s worth mentioning that The Phantom of the Opera is told out of order. The opening scene shows a grown up Raoul at an auction for the items left behind after the opera house closes, and it switches to the past as the remains of the chandelier rise upwards to the ceiling, Phantom’s theme swelling (it’s a really cool moment, tbh). Following the prologue of The Umbrella Academy, we switch to the present with two images: Vanya alone on the stage, and then Luther alone on the moon. Which has a kind of symmetry that might mean nothing, but is still kind of cool. 

(Also the item that Raoul buys from the auction is a music box with a monkey crashing symbols on top of it. Which might mean nothing.) 

Part Five: How is she STILL talking about this? (AKA Conclusion)

To be honest, this is more a very tangled “things I noticed and thought were interesting” discussion than a formal essay with any clear thesis. While there is a chance that this was all coincidental and I’ve gone full Pepe Sylvia, the music selection in The Umbrella Academy is one of the things that they seem to be really deliberate about. 

I would love to chat with anyone about this theory, so feel free to reach out in the notes or message me! My inbox is always open. Much love, and thank you for reading, if you got this far! ❤️

[faranae]

fara. any final thoughts before the end of steven universe future?

This post is spoiler-free for SU:F.

The community itself has had its ups and downs, but what fandom doesn’t at some point? It’s been a long ride, longer for some than others. As a fan, I actually spent most of my time watching the fandom from afar. Didn’t end up watching the show at all until around season 5. 

Fell. In. Love. Pretty much instantly. 

I wasn’t bothered by the crappy animation (c’mon fandom, let’s be real about that particular point) because the writing was fantastic. It was whimsy, and innocence, and then it ramped up into tackling serious topics in a way that even children can understand. 

I’m actually quite envious of those who got to experience it from the very beginning. They’ve been watching Steven as a character (and the rest of the CG ensemble) grow and change, and with any luck they had the chance to grow a little along with him. As a later viewer who ended up binging several seasons over a few days, I didn’t get to experience that magic in quite the same way, you know? 

And now, we have a very broken boy who is trying very hard to cope with having found his own identity. 

Note how I don’t say he’s trying to find his identity. Steven did that already. It’s done. He knows who he is, and he isn’t coping with it very well at all. All of his life experiences and trauma are catching up to him at a breakneck pace. 

Quite frankly? I’m glad they’re breaking him down. 

Steven as a character has always had this childlike innocence to him, to the point that hardly any viewer throughout the original run seemed to treat Steven as the age he was. Steven turned 14 in episode 75. He has been a teenager this whole time, albeit a young one. 

Perhaps my view of the character is colored differently because I didn’t have that span of time like the rest of the fandom where Steven’s age was an unknown. He’s always been a young adult to me, despite appearance and mannerisms. 

Steven Universe led a very sheltered and for the most part spoiled life as a child, too! No school, no doctors, no engagements or responsibilities. His dad lived out of a van and made it out to be a glamorous lifestyle. His caregivers doted on him, insisting he was special and in need of protection. His only exposure to humanity was a tiny isolated boardwalk town full of kooky residents who treated him like some combination of ‘the friendly neighbourhood poor kid’ and ‘cryptid’.

All of this, until he reached the age where he finally craved the adventure that his caregivers had cruelly (in his view) denied him. Even with his own body psychologically stunting his growth, Steven reached that rebellious age where he felt the need to prove himself and be useful to those he cared about. 

He got what he wanted. 

Now, 5-6 years later, it’s breaking him. 

Honestly, even with SU:F taking place over at least a year (if fan math is correct) my biggest gripe with Future and concern for the direction it’s going with the finale is time. I wish we’d had more time as a viewer base to absorb these changes, even if they are serious and necessary. Most of the Future episodes center around some form of pain or escalation in Steven’s condition, and I fear it’s not doing the seriousness of the subject justice. It feels forced, but only because we as viewers are seeing a year+ of development over only a few episodes. 

I’m looking forward to the series finale. In fandom terms, the finale is always the catalyst for a massive surge in growth and creativity. 

I am not, however, looking forward to the contents of said finale. I’m worried that in trying to cram so many serious topics into one timeslot they either won’t do it justice, or poor execution/rushed writing will lead to the issue not being taken seriously at all. 

In my personal opinion, Steven Universe: Future should not have stuck with the 15-minute formula if it planned to tackle such intense topics. 

There just isn’t enough time. 

TL;DR:

Steven Universe good! 

I’m gonna miss it. 

Looking forward to the fan work explosion after the finale.

Worried it’s going to be a rushed end to the series. 

And if all else fails, please pray to any gods that might exist that we don’t get Wash’d.

Why yes, I’m still salty over Firefly and Serenity.

[newstfionline]

Wednesday, November 18, 2020

Trump Expected to Order Troop Withdrawal (Foreign Policy) U.S. President Donald Trump is set to order a dramatic and rapid cut in the number of U.S. troops stationed in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Somalia as he seeks action from loyalists newly installed at the U.S. Department of Defense. A perception that Mark Esper, the previous U.S. Secretary of Defense, would not agree to further troop reductions on so quick a schedule, was seen as one of the reasons for his removal from the post shortly after the U.S. presidential election. Although the numbers are not yet public, several media reports signal a halving of current troop levels in Afghanistan from the 4,500 troops currently stationed there. A reduction in Iraq would be less severe, but almost all of the 700 U.S. troops stationed in Somalia are expected to return to the United States. Although Republican leaders are wary, a troop withdrawal appears to be popular among the American public. According to a YouGov poll commissioned by the libertarian Charles Koch Institute in August, 76 percent Americans supported withdrawing troops from Afghanistan, with almost half of respondents strongly supporting withdrawal. The number supporting U.S. troop withdrawals from Iraq was 74 percent. The desire to end America’s wars in the Middle East and South Asia is felt similarly among U.S. military veterans. An April poll by another Koch-backed group found 73 percent of veterans surveyed supported a full withdrawal from Afghanistan, an almost 13 percent increase from the previous year.

Covid-19 origin remains a mystery (South China Morning Post, Tumori Journal) The virus that causes the Covid-19 disease has now infected more than 54 million people across the planet, but the question of just where it came from remains a mystery. Researchers may have found a new link in this puzzle after discovering evidence suggesting the pathogen had infected people across Italy as early as September last year, or months before it was first identified in the Chinese city of Wuhan. The unexpected finding “may reshape the history of [the] pandemic”, said the team led by Dr Gabriella Sozzi, a life scientist with the National Cancer Institute of Milan, in a peer-reviewed paper published last week in the Tumori Journal.

Hurricane Iota bashes Nicaragua, Honduras after Eta floods (AP) Hurricane Iota battered Nicaragua’s Caribbean coast and flooded some stretches of neighboring Honduras that were still under water from Hurricane Eta two weeks earlier, leaving authorities struggling to assess damage after communications were knocked out in some areas. By late Tuesday, Iota had diminished to a tropical storm and was moving inland over northern Nicaragua and southern Honduras, but forecasters warned that its heavy rains still posed a threat of flooding and mudslides. The storm passed about 25 miles (40 kilometers) south-southwest of Tegucigalpa, the capital of Honduras, where rivers were rising and rain was expected to intensify. In mountainous Tegucigalpa, residents of low-lying, flood-prone areas were being evacuated in anticipation of Iota’s rains, as were residents of hillside neighborhoods vulnerable to landslides.

Boris Johnson, in self-quarantine, says he’s ‘bursting with antibodies’ (Washington Post) British Prime Minister Boris Johnson boasted that he was “fit as a butcher’s dog” and “bursting with antibodies” as he began two weeks of self-quarantine after having close contact with a lawmaker who contracted the coronavirus. Johnson was infected with the virus in March—and struggled to breathe in an intensive care unit for three days. His staff did not say on Monday whether he had been tested this time, but cases of coronavirus reinfection have been incredibly rare. Johnson on Monday said that he felt great and that because he previously had the disease he was “bursting with antibodies” but that he would self-quarantine for two weeks as “we got to interrupt the spread of the disease.” He added that he would continue to govern by video conference.

After Trump, Europe aims to show Biden it can fight for itself (Reuters) The Donald Trump era may be coming to an end. But European Union ministers meeting this week to discuss the future of the continent’s defence will say the lesson has been learned: Europe needs to be strong enough to fight on its own. EU foreign and defence ministers meeting by teleconference on Thursday and Friday will receive the bloc’s first annual report on joint defence capabilities, expected to serve as the basis for a French-led, post-Brexit, post-Trump effort to turn the EU into a stand-alone military power. “We aren’t in the old status quo, where we can pretend that the Donald Trump presidency never existed and the world was the same as four years ago,” a French diplomat said. The EU has been working since December 2017 to develop more firepower independently of the United States. The effort has been driven mainly by France, the EU’s remaining major military power after Brexit.

Hungary and Poland Threaten E.U. Stimulus Over Rule of Law Links (NYT) When European Union leaders announced a landmark stimulus package to rescue their economies from the ravages of the coronavirus, they agreed to jointly raise hundreds of billions of dollars to use as aid—a bold and widely welcomed leap in collaboration never attempted in the bloc’s history. But that unity was shattered on Monday when Hungary and Poland blocked the stimulus plan and the broader budget. The two eastern European countries said they would veto the spending bill because the funding was made conditional on upholding rule-of-law standards, such as an independent judiciary, which the two governments have weakened as they defiantly tear down separation of powers at home. Their veto has thrown a signature achievement of the bloc into disarray, deepening a long-building standoff over its core principles and threatening to delay the stimulus money from getting to E.U. member states, if a new agreement can be reached at all.

Armenia seethes over peace deal (Foreign Policy) Armenia’s government is under strain after signing a cease-fire agreement with Azerbaijan in a Russian-backed deal a week ago. On Monday, Armenian Foreign Minister Zohrab Mnatsakanyan resigned after a public disagreement with Prime Minister Nikol Pashinyan over the direction of peace talks. Pressure on Pashinyan has shown no sign of easing in recent days: 17 opposition parties have called for his resignation as street protests against his leadership continue.

Kissinger Warns Biden of U.S.-China Catastrophe on Scale of WWI (Bloomberg) Former U.S. Secretary of State Henry Kissinger said the incoming Biden administration should move quickly to restore lines of communication with China that frayed during the Trump years or risk a crisis that could escalate into military conflict. “Unless there is some basis for some cooperative action, the world will slide into a catastrophe comparable to World War I,” Kissinger said during the opening session of the Bloomberg New Economy Forum. He said military technologies available today would make such a crisis “even more difficult to control” than those of earlier eras. “America and China are now drifting increasingly toward confrontation, and they’re conducting their diplomacy in a confrontational way,” the 97-year-old Kissinger said in an interview with Bloomberg News Editor-in-Chief John Micklethwait. “The danger is that some crisis will occur that will go beyond rhetoric into actual military conflict.” U.S.-China relations are at their lowest in decades. As President Donald Trump stepped up his criticism of China, blaming it for the spread of the virus and the death toll in the U.S., each side also has ramped up moves the other sees as hostile.

Hundreds of fraudulent votes were discovered. Then a fat green parrot was elected. (Washington Post) A plump, waddling parrot has soared past its competition to claim victory in New Zealand’s Bird of the Year contest, a tense race marked by attempted voter interference during a divisive month of campaigning. In what event organizers conceded was “a stunning upset,” the critically endangered kakapo flew into first place to steal the title—ruffling the feathers of those who say the bright-green parrot unfairly secured a second term as chosen bird. The bird-of-the-year controversy took flight after data analysts working with Forest & Bird discovered that roughly 1,500 fraudulent votes had been cast. The “illegal votes,” which were submitted using a suspicious email account and came from the same IP address in Auckland, briefly pushed the country’s tiny kiwi pukupuku bird into the lead, a brazen meddling attempt that sent officials and campaign managers into a flap. Those votes were immediately disregarded, organizers said. “It’s lucky we spotted this little kiwi trying to sneak in an extra 1500 votes under the cover of darkness!” Laura Keown, spokesperson for Bird of the Year, said in a statement Nov. 10, adding that officials did not “want to see any more cheating.”

Israelis Take On Netanyahu And Coronavirus Restrictions In Wave Of Civil Disobedience (The Intercept) Netanyahu is Israel’s longest-serving prime minister, having been at the helm for over 11 consecutive years. He is also the first sitting prime minister to be indicted, currently on trial in three cases of bribery, fraud, and breach of trust, arising from abusing his authority to grant favors for, among other things, favorable media coverage. While there have been small but stubborn protests against Netanyahu since investigations into his corruption first opened in late 2016, it was not until the coronavirus paralyzed Israel’s economy that people—many of them in their 20s and 30s—starting coming out in droves. For more than 20 weeks now, tens of thousands of Israelis have taken to the streets to call on Netanyahu to recuse himself for corruption, for failing to manage the pandemic, and for what many describe as his megalomania—doing whatever it takes to evade trial. They have been convening in massive numbers in front of his official residence, many carrying homemade signs, chanting in unison “Go!” and “We won’t leave till Bibi resigns.”

Protests that historically bring out large numbers of Jewish Israelis have long been dominated by Israel’s left-leaning peace camp, and a decade ago, others drawing attention to the high cost of living. What is happening now is different: With over a million people unemployed in a country of 9 million, culture and nightlife all but dead amid the pandemic, and people’s ability to travel outside the country severely restricted, a nationwide movement of disgruntled Israelis, spanning ages and to an extent sociocultural backgrounds, is practicing civil disobedience. The government has responded with relative force against a segment of the Jewish population that is largely unfamiliar with police brutality and has not had their individual rights violated. At the same time, the government has all but ignored incitement and incidents of violence against the protesters. The official response is giving Jewish Israelis a tiny window into what it has always been like for Palestinians, both in Israel and the occupied West Bank and Gaza, whose protests are, prima facie, treated as suspect.

Ethiopia bombs Tigray capital (Foreign Policy) Ethiopia’s air force began bombing the Tigray region’s capital, Mekelle, on Monday in another escalation of the country’s civil war, now entering its third week. In a tweet he later deleted, Ugandan President Yoweri Museveni called for the two sides to negotiate and halt the conflict “lest it leads to unnecessary loss of lives and cripples the economy.” Redwan Hussein, a government spokesman, said the war would be a “short-lived operation,” and that mediation offers from Uganda or another country were not being considered.

Amazon opens online pharmacy, shaking up another industry (AP) Now at Amazon.com: insulin and inhalers. The online colossus opened an online pharmacy Tuesday that allows customers to order medication or prescription refills, and have them delivered to their front door in a couple of days. The potential impact of Amazon’s arrival in the pharmaceutical space rippled through that sector immediately. Before the opening bell, shares of CVS Health Corp. fell almost 9%. Walgreens and Rite Aid both tumbled more than 10%. The big chains rely on their pharmacies for a steady flow of shoppers who may also grab a snack, or shampoo or groceries on the way out. All have upped online services, but Amazon.com has mastered it, and its online store is infinitely larger. Amazon will begin offering commonly prescribed medications Tuesday in the U.S., including creams, pills, as well as medications that need to stay refrigerated, like insulin. Shoppers have to set up a profile on Amazon’s website and have their doctors send prescriptions there. The company said it won’t ship medications that can be abused, including many opioids. Most insurance is accepted, Amazon said. But Prime members who don’t have insurance can also buy generic or brand name drugs from Amazon for a discount. They can also get discounts at 50,000 physical pharmacies around the country, inside Costco, CVS, Walgreens, Walmart and other stores.

R.I.P. whoopsie (Euronews) French broadcaster RFI has apologized after a bug on its website triggered the publication of obituaries of Queen Elizabeth II, Pelé, Jimmy Carter, Brigitte Bardot, Clint Eastwood and about 100 other prominent (and still alive) celebrities. RFI said in a statement that a “technical problem” led to the erroneous publications. Broadcasters often prepare obituary material in advance to publish it promptly when a death is announced.

[fell-in-love-didnt-you]

Five Times I Wanted to Kiss You, and One Time You Did, Too

Oh, my god. I spent actual hours on this, It's a 26 page word doc. Word count of 10k +. Holy shit. 

My friend will anonymously say “fic waz good” and I will tell theme tickety boo bebop. If you’re reading this, you know. 

Okay, enjoy about six hours of my life poured into a fic I love more than anything I’ve ever written ever even outside the wonderful carry on fandom. 

Oh, also, basically Chapter 61 happened but no kissing. Basically, all kissing that is canon has been taken out unless it happened between Agatha and simon. okay enjoy (putting a read more cuz it’s fucking long)

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20051074

Baz figures it out fifth year, but he knows it has festered in the back of his brain long before this point. Maybe it has even been there since the first time they met. Being raised to hate the Chosen One doesn’t exactly mean you’re going to comply. 

And he certainly does hate Snow. Stupid fucking hair, stupid fucking walk, and stupid fucking everything and anything else Baz can think of. He can’t even hold a wand right unless Bunce shows him first. Pathetic choice for a Chosen One. 

And the whole “I’m going to follow you around until I finally catch you draining rats and defiling virgins” act also doesn’t let Baz sit on these confusing emotions for more than three seconds alone. Seriously, is it all some cosmic joke? Is some long-forgotten enemy of the Pitches sitting Upstairs somewhere, laughing until they cry, and also making sure Baz doesn’t have a fucking second alone?  

If so, fuck you, Baz thinks. Fuck you and your whole lineage, if someone ever felt bad enough to sleep with you. 

That is another thing: the wanting to sleep with Simon Snow, Mage’s heir, resident Good Boy, and savior of the magical world. Also, the boyfriend to the stunningly gorgeous Agatha Wellbelove, who also may have a thing for Baz, too. And Baz is flattered, honestly. He and Wellbelove would make some beautiful children that would dominate the magical world. Hell, maybe he’d name them all Simon Snow Pitch just to piss off the Golden Boy. 

He wants so bad to feel anything else for anyone else. He’d fuck a chimera if he thought for one second it would clear this blinding, aching need to touch and be touched by the one person most disgusted by his presence. Anyone else. He’d marry Bunce, or a second cousin, or a tree. 

But that feeling, that “It’s you; it’s going to be you” has sat in the pit of Baz’s stomach for five years before deciding to take root at the base of his brain stem and prick and demand attention from both. A torturous cycle akin to being stuffed in the ground alive with a straw poking though the earth. Never satisfied, but still hopeful like a fucking moron. 

Baz climbs the stairs to the turret. If his mum was still headmistress, maybe lifts would have been incorporated sometime, or even just escalators. Everyone calls the Mage the ‘Great Reformer’, but Baz puts that on the far end of his list of names for that fuckweed. Far behind prick, narcissistic bitch, and crazy fucking lunatic, which all rank well within the top ten. But Snow would argue that the Mage is really the ‘Great Reformer’ everyone calls him. 

Baz’s calf muscles and back disagree heartily. 

Even though the basic unsaid rules of their room declared that Snow takes showers in the evening, Baz can’t stand the way his clothes stick to him like they’re a second skin. He thought last year he was finally done growing, but the Grimms are a tall folk, and it seems he’s inherited that (and maybe, like, four other things) from his father. Any walking makes him sweat when it’s this early into the year, and the added bonus of not fitting into custom clothing makes it all the more awful. 

So Baz breaks tradition and grabs a towel from his wardrobe. They’re supposed to share one, but Simon decidedly moved his things away from anything resembling Baz about three seconds into this year’s term, and Baz actually doesn’t give a shit. If anything, he’s happy. Now, no lingering scent of Simon can be on his clothes anymore than it usually is. 

Sharing a room with the person you want more than actual life makes him hyper-aware of what Snow smells like: brimstone, green fire, and burned foodstuffs. Makes sense. 

Despite the building being old, the water pressure is wonderful. Baz maybe thinks someone has spelled it this way because there’s no way a place as old as Watford had this wonderful a plumbing system when it was made. Just as Baz is wondering who may have upgraded this integral part of the school, a loud, obnoxious knock on the bathroom door jolts him from his thoughts. 

“We need to talk,” says a muffled voice on the other side of the dark wood door. Simon Snow has never been great at yelling, even in the best of times. Baz accidentally pushed him down the stairs once, and the only noise he made the entire time was a surprised little, “oh” just before he went down. 

“I need to get clean,” Baz replies, hoping that will shove off any response for a few minutes. 

The knock sounds again, though this time it’s louder. “Now!” Simon yells. He thumps even harder against the door, and Baz sighs as he rests his head against the cool tile of the shower. Never a dull moment when you know the Chosen One, he thinks to himself. 

Baz really should be thinking about the structural integrity of a door that was made centuries before him. It’s got a cheap little doorknob from when the other fell out two years into their time at Watford. (Baz blames Simon, but he knows it was himself that did it; slamming a door closed will do that.) The thing hardly locks half the time, and Baz was so tired after a day of classes and scouring the Catacombs that he just didn’t think about locking the door. 

So when Simon’s incessant thumping gets harder, the door gives. The knob, thanks to its cheapness, breaks, and the door swings in to reveal Baz, naked, actually in the shower and not plotting, because that’s what Snow always thinks he’s doing. 

Baz’s first instinct is to cover himself up. Fling a towel around his lower half and cower in a distant corner until Snow decides that looking at a pale, naked vampire isn’t worth his time anymore. His second instinct is to shout. Because his towel is one the counter outside of the shower, his second instinct will have to do. 

“What the fuck is your problem?” he demands, and if there’d been any magic in his voice, Snow would be spilling secrets from his childhood like a broken dam. But Baz doesn’t need magic to make Snow become flustered or spill his secrets. All he needs is a hiss in the back of his throat and a lethal glare. 

Snow looks like a deer caught in the headlights of a semi-truck. The most logical thing he can do at this point is close the door, walk out of the room, and not show up for a few hours so Baz can have a bit to think about this. But all Snow does do is stare, and stare, and stare, and stare some more. It’s like he’s trying to bore holes into Baz’s brain with just his eyes. 

And then Baz watches those unextraordinary blue eyes creep from his face to where he’s trying desperately to cover up. And damnit, Baz thinks, that shouldn’t be doing the things it’s doing to me. It shouldn’t be setting him on fire all over like he’s not flammable to the largest extent, and it damn sure shouldn’t be making all the blood from the rats rush south like a freight train. 

Snow comes to his senses finally (if he’s really got any) and slams the door shut. Baz can feel his face becoming redder. He likes the water hot, but this isn’t a temperature-related heat. This isn’t even the heat of arousal. It’s the heat of shame. Because while Snow was staring down where Baz’s hands are still covering, he was only thinking about one thing: snogging the daylights out of the Mage’s heir. 

Shit.

 …

 The end of fifth year isn’t nearly as exciting as the previous ones: Simon slayed a dragon first year, and the Humdrum’s sent something equally as lethal (if not, more so) every year. However, for the first time in five terms, the last weeks are uneventful. Baz takes his exams in relative silence, though Snow’s tapping feet never stop. 

However, if that’s the only upset they’ll have during exams, he can take. 

It’s been about six months since Snow walking in on him in the shower, and they haven’t spoken about it. To be fair, they also didn’t speak about whatever it was that had been so pressing in Snow’s mind that day. It just didn’t seem as important as seeing your arch-nemesis stark naked. 

Maybe he’d seen the long scar that ran down Baz’s legs. It wasn’t from whatever Snow was thinking it were from. It was years old from when the wraiths had thought it fun to mess with a Pitch. Live and learn, Baz thought. The wraiths hadn’t touched him since then. 

Or maybe Snow was really just freaked out about the sight of another man’s prick. If he thought that only he had stones or some stupid shit, anatomy next year was going to fuck him over really well. 

Whatever it had been, it’s gone and passed. Baz has shelved it away for the day he’ll finally get a good wank in, which will be only a few days from now. The last days of term always feel the longest, though, and even just remembering that is making his skin itch. 

He’s forgotten it long enough, though, to begin packing his wardrobe. It’s not like Baz has a sizeable amount of clothing or anything, but compared to Snow’s, it’s massive. The winter coats alone outnumber all of Snow’s non-school clothing. 

Just as Baz begins to take down the few frayed tees he’s ever owned, the door to the room opens. He doesn’t need to look up to know it’s Snow; the clambering of feet up the stairs always tells him enough. Apparently, Snow shares the same sentiment about stairs. Baz looks up to see Snow’s face flushed and his mouth open. (Though that shouldn’t surprise Baz anymore. Snow’s mouth is always open, like an obnoxious trout.) 

“Haven’t suggested a lift to your Jedi master, then?” Baz asks, returning his attention to the remaining clothes in the wardrobe. “Or haven’t you mastered Up, up, and away?” 

Simon’s glare reverberates through the room, and Baz drops the tie in his hand. The unmistakable scent of Snow’s magic is pouring into the air. Could what Baz just said really set him off that easily? It isn’t even comparable to their normal insults. Nothing this year has been comparable to the previous ones. Baz is too wrapped up in himself lately to really think of any good zingers. 

Baz turns sharply from the wardrobe and says, “Calm down, Snow. You don’t want the Anathema killing you for maiming me.” Maybe in some distant world, that could be true. 

Snow takes one large step forward and is up in Baz’s space. He’s not close enough to get a good punch in, but Baz knows that Simon doesn’t judge distance very well when it comes to physical altercations. As long as he even scrapes Baz, Snow counts it as a win. 

“Stay the fuck away from my girlfriend,” Snow spits at him, hands live like a wire in the air. He always does this when they fight: the spitting of words, the gritting of teeth, and the pointing of hands. However, the actual flames that lick the insides of his eyes give way to let Baz know he’s probably as serious right now as he’s ever been. “I mean it, you fucking creep!” 

Baz is just confused. Of course, he won’t let that show. A sly smirk paints its way across his face and he asks, “Trouble in paradise, Snow?” 

More magic is exuded. More of the air feels alive with electricity. Snow’s magic has always felt like this: alive, alive, alive. There’s nothing about Simon Snow that isn’t alive. Baz wishes he could be jealous. 

“Calm down, Snow,” Baz murmurs, bending over to pick up his tie. It helps to ease the shaking in his hands. Snow could quite literally explode all of Mummer’s right now, and Baz could go up with it. That’s not how he’s supposed to die.

Well, sort of. Simon Snow will do the right thing and kill him once and for all one day, far away from this day, when they stand on opposite sides of the battlefield. 

But dying as a fifth year in the top of Mummer’s because Snow’s girl has obviously upset him is not the way Simon is going to kill him. 

Snow’s jaw clenches, and he steps back from Baz. Thank Merlin for Anathema, Baz thinks, whoever you were. 

Finally, the static in the air calms to the low buzz that always accompanies Snow, and Baz feels like he can breathe again. He can smell a hell of a lot more than most people, and maybe that’s why being around Simon has always made him feel like he’s suffocating. Or maybe it’s because he just wants to pin the Chosen One down on a bed and kiss him ‘til they both die. 

That’s what Baz is thinking as Snow loosens his jaw and opens his mouth like the damned trout again. He’s thinking about stepping closer and filling a gaping hole in his chest that aches more and more every passing second. He’s thinking about just coming out with it, no matter the repercussions from his family or the Coven or even Snow himself. He’s thinking about twisting his hands into that perfect golden hair and touching the moles he’s longed to touch since they first met at the Crucible. 

But all Baz does is think. 

So, instead of pulling Snow in for a maddening and passionate kiss, he turns to his wardrobe and says, “Try not to blow Wellbelove up next time you see her. I still haven’t gotten my fill.”

 …

 Christmas at Watford is always bittersweet. Baz loves the turkey that’s served the night before the official end of the term, and he’s obsessed with the holly hung up just about everywhere it can be. Miss Possibelf always teaches them little Christmas spells like Merry and bright (obviously for lighting fairy lights) and talks about where the myth of Father Christmas really came from. 

But it also makes Baz long for his mother. Sixth year isn’t easy. It’s the year before the technical last year one is required to take. Baz can stop coming after seventh year if he chooses, though he knows he will come back. He’s not going to be the first Pitch to ever drop out of Watford. Plus, Aunt Fiona’s threatened him with a silver cross branding over the heart if he decides to leave. 

His mum loved Christmas much more than any other Pitch. She’d set up a big tree in the sitting room and physically place the ornaments on instead of spelling them up like every other magical family. When Baz once asked why, she gave him a look like he’d just asked her why she was breathing. After all, everyone does need to breathe. 

So, yeah, the holidays simultaneously suck and rock. Aunt Fiona always brings down the shitty handmade bobbles from when Baz was, like, two and places them on the tree where everyone can see them. His dad mixes up basically all the top shelf alcohol into a cocktail and lets Baz have several glasses. Even Daphne gets in the spirit and throws a mini party with some more liberal members of the Old Families. It’s a good time to be a Grimm-Pitch. 

Baz doesn’t entirely pack away his things. He just takes his coats, trousers, socks, and boots. He has more than enough clothing at his house. If he even so much as mentioned a sweater he thought was cool enough to look at for more than two seconds, it would be on his bed by the time he got home. He didn’t want or need anything from his school wardrobe. Just enough to get him to the train and back. 

Snow kept the window open, and the breeze blows Baz out of his memories and right back into the chilly air of the room. Simon would keep that damned thing open all the time if Baz didn’t put his foot down. It was like that the first few months of the first year, but after he complained to Fiona about it enough times, she encouraged him to yell at Snow until he submitted to whatever whim was plaguing him. 

Now, though… After last year’s revelations and midnight wanks, he can’t so much as snarl at Snow without feeling like he’s an utter arse. Hating Snow used to be as easy as breathing, even though vampires breathe far less often than humans. They do still need to breathe. Snow asked that once in fifth year. What a dunce. 

You’ve fallen for a dunce, Baz thinks. A complete fucking dunce. 

The cold gets to be too much. Snow isn’t even in the room. He’s probably off with Bunce trying to coerce cook Pritchard into giving him more scones or butter or something. As Baz is about to slam the window down and watch the snow fall from the sill, his eye catches on white blond hair that’s a stark contrast to the dark yew tree behind it. 

Wellbelove is an objectively attractive person, and Baz can definitely admit that to anyone asking. She’s standing down against the yew tree, earmuffs protecting what Baz knows are tiny, pale ears that turn the lightest shade of pink when you compliment her. She’s got a light blue coat wrapped around her, and even though the weather definitely doesn’t call for it, she’s wearing a skirt and some tights that tuck away neatly into boots. 

That’s another thing about being a vampire: the vision is impeccable. 

As impeccable as it is, Baz wants to turn around at the next sight. Snow walks up to Agatha and wraps his arms tightly around her waist before kissing her. It’s so hetero that Baz thinks he might throw up. He would if it was anyone else. Just thinking about people like Dev and Niall actually getting their hands on a woman long enough to kiss her makes Baz’s stomach do summersaults and backflips. 

But it’s Snow. His golden hair sticks out in every which way and demands attention in the flapping of the wind. He’s laughing loud enough that it trails up the room where Baz has his hands clenched on the window, nearly splintering it into thousands of pieces. Maybe the Anathema would hurt him for hurting the window. Then he wouldn’t feel so much. 

It’s been easy to ignore them. It looked like they’d gone through a rocky patch there, and Baz let himself hope for just one second that it might be over. Of course, even if they were over, there was no way in heaven, hell, or the Veil that Simon Snow would fall in love with the evil gay vampire. 

No way. 

Baz wants to scream and rage and throw things around the room until his hands go numb and his fangs drop and he can taste blood in his mouth, which hasn’t happened in a long time. He wants to kill Snow and kiss him and throw him to a merwolf and take him so far away from the Humdrum and Watford and everything that’s been hurting him his entire life. 

But Baz just slams the window down loud enough for Snow to look up and see Baz glowering down at the pair of them. 

Whatever. Baz will just make Agatha love him instead. Shouldn’t be too hard.

 …

 Watching Snow get yanked out of thin air with Bunce on his arm feels like some weird fever dream Baz has made to cope with every stupid argument they’ve had this year. Even today, Snow came into the room just to get into a petty argument about the window again. 

Snow’s just popped around the corner into the Wavering Wood. Baz mentally curses himself. Why does everyone try to follow him when he just wants food? (Blood? Same difference.) First Wellbelove, and then Simon motherfucking Snow and Bunce. Can a man have no privacy?

Of course, the second he realizes Snow’s in the vicinity of him and Wellbelove, Baz takes her hands into his, and it looks like they’re going to kiss. Of course, Baz isn’t going to waste his first kiss on a girl, but if it makes Snow mad, he’ll make that stupid sacrifice. 

However, the sucking feeling of the Humdrum creeps into the air just as Snow comes to the clearing. Baz can only describe it as being dry. The air gets tight around him, and he can feel his lungs contracting like a heart that’s finally puttering out. However, his heart is beating what would be considered for normal for a human and erratic for a vampire. Snow asked once if he had any blood in his body. Why the fuck do you think I need it? Baz wanted to ask him back. He scowled instead. 

Just as suddenly as Snow and that feeling appears, they both go away. Baz lets go of Wellbelove’s hands and stands in shock and awe. There’s no spell that can make oneself invisible, though one ancestral Grimms did try to use Out, out, damned spot for that. He accidentally discorporated himself to another dimension. Baz says a silent prayer for William Malcolm Grimm before turning to Agatha and basically screaming, “Where the fuck did Snow go?” 

If Baz was thinking or was at all competent, he would track Snow using Come out, come out wherever you are, but Baz isn’t thinking. He knows Fiona will have his head on the pyre after she finds out, but Baz agrees with Wellbelove and goes to the Mage with her. They both saw it, and they both need the affirmation that they’re not crazy. 

The Mage seems almost uninterested. It’s the last day of term for the eighth years, and he somehow thinks that’s more important than saving his literal heir. While Baz wants to punch the Mage on the best of days for what he’s done to the Old Families, he’d probably dig his fangs into the Great Prick’s neck if Wellbelove wasn’t there.

She’s an absolute wreck. Her best friend and boyfriend just got sucked out of thin air to Crowley knows where, and no one is trying to go find them. At least, no one skilled. The Mage sends his personal army after them, but Baz knows it’s just for show. The Mage’s army couldn’t find an apple on top of a bowl of bananas even if there was a bright neon arrow pointing to it. 

So he and Wellbelove wait. Wellbelove is utterly inconsolable, but she does rest her head on Baz’s shoulder after a little bit. If Baz wasn’t so busy actively trying to take down her boyfriend and make him miserable, maybe they’d be friends. She’s a bright girl even with as little magic as she’s got, and she’s quippier than most people in their year. Her only real contender is Bunce, but she’s too busy worrying over Snow to be in any competitions. 

Baz eventually gets the news that his family’s arrived for the ceremony. All the Old Families come for the Leaving Ceremony even if they have no one graduating. Baz will be up on that stage in the White Chapel next year, and while he can’t get the image of Snow and Bunce being sucked out of existence before his very eyes, the least he can do is distract himself by watching his predecessors leave. 

Fiona is looking around, and it takes only three guesses for Baz to realize she’s trying to find the Chosen One. She’s hexed him at enough of these ceremonies to know he’d be here, and when she asks Baz where he is, all he can do is shrug. It’s not exactly lying; he really doesn’t know where Simon went. Baz looks over and sees the Bunces looking around just like Fiona, although they’re more worried. 

It’s their daughter missing, after all. The brightest child they’ll ever put out hasn’t shown up to a ceremony she’s gone to since before she enrolled in Watford. Baz almost feels like he should go over and explain. He knows something, even if it’s not the whole story. 

Just as he’s rising to his feet, the doors bang open. The light from outside nearly blinds Baz as he turns to stare at the two figures in the doorway. He already knows Simon is one of them. The brimstone and burning smell are in the air, and his magic is pouring out of him and tearing at the seams. After adjusting to the light, Baz can see Bunce’s bright hair and the glint of her ring. 

There’s a moment of silence before chaos erupts. The blood hits Baz’s nose last. Somehow, even he thinks that’s wrong. The blood should have alerted him long before the doors flew open, but here he is, gaping open-mouthed at the two figures in the doorway. Simon is covered in blood from head to toe, and Penny is only cleaner by a fraction. It looks like it’s being sucked out of their pores. It looks like they’re going to die right there on the floor of the White Chapel. 

Baz is stuck in place, and he silently thanks whatever Pitch ancestor is keeping him there. It would be even more of a scandal if he ran to his enemies and cried over their corpses. That’s to be done in private. 

However, two hours later, a group of magical nurses and doctors have been called, and they all gather in Baz’s room, waiting for Simon to exit the shower. 

Baz feels awkward. Should he be pouring tea? Would that be too domestic? He doesn’t have to wait much longer. 

Snow steps out of the washroom like a zombie in a low-budget film. Even though it’s obvious by the smell that he’s scrubbed every surface of his body, dried blood flecks are still speckled here and there like the moles already present. If given enough time, Baz could find nearly every one of them. He knows every mole that litters Snow’s body and how large it is and where it’s located. 

He’s a man who can’t swim that’s been cast out to sea. 

Baz watches as the doctors perform vitals on Snow and check his skin to make sure the bleeding won’t start again by the simple pressure of fingers or clothing. They poke and prod until the Mage enters and watches himself. Then, they’re sent back to whatever corners of the world they crawled out of. Baz is pretty sure one came from New Zealand. 

Simon looks like a stress ball squeezed one too many times. His hair has gone flat for once, the telltale buzz in the air that marks his presence is gone, and he doesn’t say anything he doesn’t have to. It’s the first time Baz has seen him not stutter out every other word. 

It would be impressive if it wasn’t so fucking scary. 

Then the Mage leaves, and it feels awkward between the two of them for the first time in six years. Even the Crucible wasn’t this bad. Simon seems to stare straight past anyone who looks at him. Wellbelove had been in here before Simon showered, just to see if he was alive, but he’d looked through her like she was a window. Baz had never seen Snow look at her like that. Even when he’d first noticed the two, Simon looked at her like she hung the moon, stars, and other planets. 

So why does he suddenly straighten when Baz shifts? 

In this state, Baz can do anything. He can sacrifice a virgin right in front of Simon, and Baz doesn’t know if Simon would scream or laugh or do nothing at all. He doesn’t know which of the three would be worse. 

“What happened?” It’s the only thing Baz can think to ask. Maybe he should be demanding it, or maybe he should be taunting Snow for being sucked away in the first place, but even though he’s toed at some of the most untouchable of subjects, this feels like a new territory. 

Simon takes a minute before he slowly turns his head to look at Baz. He looks gaunt. He looks like he does whenever term starts up: his face has gone sallow all over, his cheekbones stick out like he’s been starved, and his eyes sit just far back enough in his skull to be unnerving. Baz hates the beginning of term for that reason.

The smile Simon dawns then cracks his lips, and a small dot of blood bubbles up. Baz doesn’t even have the fiendish sense to want to pop his fangs and kill the Chosen One right there. It’s not like the Anathema would let him, but thoughts have to count for something, right? 

“The Humdrum,” Simon murmurs, like that’s supposed to explain what’s happened in the last six hours. Simon says it like he’s praying to it, and that makes a chill run through Baz’s back. 

“Can he even do that?” It comes out as a whisper, and Baz wishes he had the bravado to ask again, but the Humdrum makes him have a headache and the urge to throw up all at once. It’s fear in its primal stages, but Baz won’t admit that. 

“He can now,” Simon replies, breaking eye contact and looking down at his hands. One thumb and forefinger rub at his wrist, which have both gone boney. “He took something from me today.” 

“Fifteen pounds.” It’s supposed to be a joke, but neither Baz nor Simon laugh. 

“There’s a new hole in the atmosphere,” Simon adds, like an afterthought. The holes in the atmosphere scare Baz, too. They always seem to open when Simon and the Humdrum meet. It can’t be a coincidence. Nothing with the Chosen One is coincidence. 

Baz then crouches down in front of Simon like he’s about to give him a scolding. However, Baz just loosely takes Snow’s hand in his own. The finger bones feel too big in the skin that contains them, but they’re still warm. They still have a pulse in the wrist, and they are still tanned and freckled and have moles scattered across them. 

“He won’t win,” Baz says to the floor. It’s cowardly not to meet Simon’s eyes, but it would take much more of Baz than he’s capable of giving right not. “You won’t let him.” 

Simon nods, but it’s empty. Whenever something like this happens, Simon seems like he’s just going through the heroic motions. He’s read the fairytales and knows his role well enough to play it with few hiccups. 

“I’ll die trying,” Simon whispers. Baz wishes he wouldn’t say that, but they both know how this story ends. The Humdrum will die or disappear or do whatever entities like that do when they’re defeated, but that won’t be the end of Simon’s trials and tribulations. He’ll be hunted by the vampires and the goblins and any other magic-hating creature. 

And one day, something will kill him. Baz hopes to Merlin that the Old Families don’t want it to be him. He’d die, too if he had to kill the Chosen One. His last deed would be to kill the man that did Simon Snow in, and his family would never forgive him for it. 

The urge to kiss Simon’s forehead takes over Baz’s mind, just to let Snow know that he’s so alive. That people love him and that people will protect him and that there are people who would kill and be killed for him. 

And Baz is one of those stupid people. 

Baz can’t kiss the Chosen One. Maybe he will, before Simon puts the stake through his heart. Maybe he’ll stop fighting for ten seconds to tell Snow how he’s in love with him, how he’ll always be in love with him, and how nothing Simon could do would change that. And then Simon would stab him or hex him or go off and not protect him, and it would be over. 

That night is not tonight.

 …

 The earthy smell of wet dirt and rotting wood makes Baz gag again. The wood began to rot a week ago. There’s no plush velvet interior like a coffin for a real dead person. This is one of those cartoony coffins Baz would see in reruns of Scooby-Doo when he was young. 

Perhaps the Numpties think they’re doing him a favor. Maybe they get all their information on vampires from cartoons. It would explain why he hasn’t been given food or water or been exposed to the sun in the last five weeks. However, he was kidnapped in broad daylight, so…

At first, Baz thought someone would come for him. Maybe the Numpties sent ransom. But after he scratched a sixteenth dash into the wood, he knew he’d die here. 

It’s a pretty shitty way to die. No ventilation, surrounded by earthworms to pick the bones left behind, and with Numpties blabbering right on the other side of the wooden coffin. To think, the last thing he’d eaten was a fucking pasty from the country club.

The blood they were giving him tastes like none he’d had before. What if he died with another human’s blood in his system? Whose blood? Someone he knew? A father? A mother? Sister? Son? 

After the third day of refusing blood, Baz gives in. 

Today, they give him another 32 oz. Styrofoam cup filled with blood, and no food or water. Maybe he should demand it. Would they actually listen to him? Maybe they’d think it was a trap. There’s no way Baz can trap them. He’s too weak to move. The first few days, he had promise, but they hit him over the head with a rock when they gave him the blood, and he woke up hours later in the dark again. 

There’s no difference between light or dark here. The only indication Baz has as to the passage of days is the giving of blood. It’s possible they give him blood every other day and it’s really been ten weeks. It feels longer than five weeks, but that could be the fatigue. Vampires can go longer than humans without food or water, and the blood counts for the barely-there amount of water he is getting. 

However, they need that holy trifecta to live: food, water, and blood. 

Baz has two-thirds. 

He’ll die here. 

The first time Baz thought that, he let himself cry in the most cramped and crumpled position possible. (Coffins are decidedly not spacious.)  The second time he thought about his death, he laughed and laughed and laughed until a Numpty came in with a rock and gave him a good thump behind the ear. 

The third time was now. Day thirty-seven (by best estimates). No one is coming for him. 

Baz doesn’t cry or laugh. He just sighs through his nose and takes a sip of blood. If he doesn’t drink it fast, it gets congealed at the bottom, and even though he’s going to die in a Numpty den in a coffin in the ground, he won’t die on an empty circulatory system. 

His stomach will just have to deal. 

The darkness used to play with eyes. Now it just dances like the elephants in Dumbo until Baz gets bored. Then it settles back to darkness. Sometimes the Numpties go away to talk, and the silence talks to Baz until they get back. 

Surprisingly, the silence sounds like an angry David Tennant. Maybe that’s just how every angry Scottish person sounds, but silence might be inherently Scottish. 

But when the Numpties eventually come back, Baz breathes more deeply and closes his eyes. And he sees it. 

The bronze curls always come to him first. Then the unextraordinary blue eyes take formation, and the moles follow. Baz allows himself to focus on that mole just beneath the left side of the jaw. The smile comes last. It’s a smile Baz has saved in his memories by countless times witnessing it from countless angles. The mole to the right of that mouth makes Baz’s eyes water. 

Those eyes shine down at him. For some reason, he’s taller in Baz’s memories than in real life. Maybe he’s grown since seventh year. Probably not, though. Neither of them have grown much since sixth year. They both just filled out in the shoulders and got squared away in the face. No more pockmarks. 

Baz can hear the laugh that emits from that mouth. It’s a sound he knows the angels crafted for ears of the damned to hear. Maybe they thought the damned would think twice about falling if they heard that laugh. It was made to be the first glorious sound deaf people here and for blind people to try to put a face to. It was made for people like Baz, whose souls were up in the air and just needed to be caught and nurtured. 

Those lips were made to be chapped in the cold wind but warm to the touch. The moles and freckles were made to be dreamed of and painted. Those eyes…those unextraordinary but beautiful eyes were made to make women swoon. They certainly made Baz swoon. 

His last thoughts would be of Simon Snow’s lips and moles and eyes. Baz knew this is how it would end. With one of them in tears, professing love, and the other driving a blade into a damned heart. 

However, the one that’s supposed to end him is probably having tea right about now at Watford. Hundreds of miles away. Not knowing that the one he has to kill is being killed by someone else. 

Simon Snow is alive, Baz thinks. 

And I’m hopelessly in love with him.

 …

 “What do we do now?” Penny asks. Simon looks up from the ground. The dead birds are starting to get to Baz. There’s blood everywhere: spilling from the Mage’s ears, drying around Ebb’s corpse, and from the birds that were near enough to Simon’s explosion. 

Baz can’t help it. He hasn’t fed since two days ago in the woods right before a hole opened above his house. He goes to a corner and feeds on a few birds. Penny and Simon should be reprimanding him for doing that, but they’re all so drained that they don’t stop him. 

Eventually, Simon tears his suit jacket off and lays it over the Mage’s body. Even though Snow technically killed him, Baz knows this will tear him up inside. He’s probably the only one that ever loved the Mage properly. Some loved the man for his power, and others for his influence, but Simon loved him because that’s all he could do. 

Baz lays down on the ground away from the bodies and tries to go to sleep. It’s not hard. The last few hours have been more draining than a marathon. In a way, it was a marathon to save Simon Snow. 

A scream interrupts Baz’s nice dream about a hill far away where the sun shines down on the grass and birds are singing in the trees. Simon’s there, too, laying beside him and resting in the shade. It’s the best dream Baz has ever had. 

It’s Bunce’s mum that screams. Baz thinks that maybe having two dead bodies surrounding three (nearly) alive kids could probably give someone the wrong impression, and he rises to see Bunce hugging her mum and Simon hugging himself. Those stupid wings are still spread out, and his cartoonish tail even whips around on the ground. 

Eventually, they leave the White Chapel and go to Mummer’s. The Mage’s army has been summoned, and the Coven and Old Families also arrive. Baz almost flinches when Snow’s hand grabs ahold of his and Bunce takes the other. If anything, he’s at least gained two friends from this miserable experience. 

They wait in the bedroom in the turret for what seems like hours. About five different people of five different ranks from five different groups ask them what happened, and they tell the same story separately five times. However, Simon always comes back to Baz’s bed and grabs ahold of his hand again. It’s a good balance because Baz is shivering, and Snow is a personal furnace. 

Finally, they all leave, and Bunce leaves with her mum. No one comes to get Snow, and Baz refuses to leave until tomorrow unless Snow wants to come with. He doesn’t, so Baz doesn’t go. It feels wrong to leave him in this place when there’s nowhere else to go. Bunce’s mum wasn’t in the right place of mind when she left, so Baz is sure that’s why she forgot to ask Simon with them. Baz isn’t sure Simon would’ve gone anyway. Why does it feel so appropriate to be in this room of all places on Earth? 

“What do we do now?” Baz echoes Penny from hours before. It had been a good question at the time. Two dead bodies, a missing Wellbelove, and no cellphones to call anyone on. This was similar to that. No one left to tell them what to say or do. No one peering in from the outside to get the scoop. No one trying to get evidence to blame either side for the deaths. 

They’d track Wellbelove down soon enough and get her side. Then everything would be clear. 

Simon rests his head against Baz’s shoulder. Baz rests his head against the tuft of curls that tickle his neck. They’re still holding hands. It’s not awkward. It should be. 

A lot of things should be awkward right now. Snow spent Christmas with Baz. They had (still kinda do have) an alliance. They know the Mage succeeded in having Natasha Grimm-Pitch killed all those years ago. Inadvertently, he also caused Baz to be Turned into a vampire. 

So many new pieces of trivia. So much to sort through. So much to strike and add to the Record. So much that they should want to forget. 

But Baz just keeps holding onto Simon’s hand and brushing his face against those bronze curls. It’s a good dream come true that he’s allowed to do this, but Baz doesn’t have the mental capacity at the moment to think about how his fifth year-self is hooping and hollering inside of his heart. He’s too tired to want more than is being given.

Baz would be content if this is all Simon Snow ever gave him. 

A few months later, Baz stands at a punch bowl while the people he’s known for eight years dance and cry behind him. The punch isn’t even spiked. They’re all still too wrung-out from trying to understand what happened in the White Chapel that night. Dev and Niall wanted to know why Baz hadn’t killed or at least seriously maimed Simon that night. 

How does one explain homosexuality for the arch nemesis to two duds like Dev and Niall? 

Simon doesn’t know, though, so neither should Dev and Niall. Or maybe he does, and he just won’t say so. It would make sense. Baz has been trying to kill Simon since they were eleven, so the revelation of love would either shock him or make him laugh so hard he would piss himself. 

Simon didn’t come back, and neither did Bunce, but after Bunce’s mum became Headmistress, she let all of them have cellphones on campus, and Baz had stayed in near-constant contact with the two of them. He tried to reach out to Wellbelove, but she explained she just wanted to run from it all. 

If that was an option for Baz, he would still be running. 

But there’s a Leavers Ball and ceremony to attend to, and if the Chosen One and his insanely smart friend aren’t going to show, he kinda has to. It’s an unwritten contract that at least one of them has to show up to these kinds of things, even if it’s just to let people know all three of them are alive. 

Simon hasn’t gotten in touch tonight, and Baz thinks about texting him just to make sure he’s still kicking it. However, Simon might be sleeping. These Leavers Balls take place at night, and even though it’s only nine, Baz would like to be in bed, too, preferably with the Chosen One tucked against his side. 

Baz scans the room for anyone worth talking to. It’s strange how his best friends have alternated from Dev and Niall (Niall being his literal cousin) to Penny and Snow. (Baz has decided Penny’s name is worth saying every once in a while.) It just goes to show…something. Baz’s brain is spent from exams and that speech he gave a few hours ago. 

His eyes lock on a figure entering the small procession that is the Leavers Ball. No one at Watford is late, so who would be walking in nearly an hour after the Ball’s started? 

The boy who’s loved making entrances since he was born, apparently. The Golden Boy, the former Mage’s heir, the Chosen One, Simon Snow makes his way over to where Baz is standing. It’s like a reverse of what happened halfway through the first term this year. 

Baz stands so still a stray tumbleweed could blow him over, even though Miss Possibelf spelled the tumbleweeds away hours ago. 

Simon runs a hand through his hair, a little nervous trait Baz has picked up on these last few months. Simon has a few of them, the newest being tugging on his little devil’s tail, though that changed after he got it surgically removed a few weeks ago. The wings were gone sooner because Simon kept knocking people and things over, and Penny and Baz both breathed a sigh of relief when Simon could walk through a hallway without knocking over a vase or painting. 

Someone’s given him a proper suit, and he looks like a cardboard cutout model with a few extra moles here and there. 

Baz feels a genuine smile (not a smirk) tugging at his lips. To see Simon Snow in a proper suit with his hair somewhat tamed feels like seeing a unicorn, though he’s been told that a couple hundred live in a sanctuary in Switzerland. 

“Didn’t think I’d be here so soon after…” Simon leaves it open-ended. Baz doesn’t need the end of that sentence. He didn’t personally know if he’d come back after that Christmas break, but Fiona’s threats about the cross still ran around his brain all these years later, and he didn’t want to disappoint his mum. She valued education more than the person who created it. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Baz replied, setting his little glass of punch back down and adding, “Party was dull without you, Snow.” Simon grins over at him and bites at his bottom lip. It’s something cheeky Baz has only ever seen him do around Wellbelove, but she’s been well and truly gone for a long time now. 

“I guess the last few months were pretty dull, then?” Simon asks. Baz smiles and nods. It was nice not being threatened with dragons and flying monkeys every couple of weeks, but not having Snow even as a presence was unsettling, and after Bunce left, there was no real competition anymore. 

“Ah, Snow, you were gone but not forgotten,” Baz replies, walking away from the table and closer to Snow. It’s the closest they’ve been since right after whatever happened in the White Chapel. Even then, it’s not very close. Baz is about a foot and a half away from Snow. 

Simon’s only a little bit shorter than him (give or take three inches), but he seems so much older than he was a few months ago. He’s by no means a man. In Baz’s eyes, maybe Snow will always be a boy (the boy), but there’s no denying that something has fundamentally changed about the way Snow carries himself. 

Maybe it’s the shared trauma. 

“Have you danced?” Snow asks. It’s an odd question, but Baz really doesn’t think anything can be that odd between them anymore. They nearly died together on multiple occasions last December, and it’s foolish to believe they could ever be what they were before. They’re not enemies, and they share a side now, though it’s not either side they were on before. It’s all their own, now. 

“No one to dance with, Simon,” Baz says, and the exasperation is overshadowed by the stirrings of those fifth-year feelings. All the songs they play at the Leavers Ball tonight are slow and meant for couples and sentimental friends. It’s meant to be a celebration, but there’s nothing to celebrate this year except maybe that Headmistress Bunce has brought back end of year books filled with photos. (Even though Simon, Penny, and Agatha left, they were still featured throughout the book.) 

“Any girl here would have danced with you if you asked,” Simon mutters, and he shoves his hands in his pockets. Baz quietly thinks to himself that suit pockets are not meant for hands or anything, really, but Simon makes pouting look good when he’s dressed up. 

“Come on, Snow, you know I’m not looking for a girl to dance with,” Baz replies, toeing at the ground with his expensive dress shoes. Fiona presented them to him a few days before, and even though Baz tried to insist he had enough dress shoes for a thousand different balls, she won. 

Simon huffs, and a loose piece of hair falls into his eyes. He hasn’t cut it in a while. “I’m sure more than a few blokes would dance with you, too.” 

Baz rolls his eyes and feels a blush creeping onto his cheeks. He’s had enough blood tonight for more than a few types of blushes. “I’m not looking for more than a few blokes.” 

“What are you looking for?” 

The way Simon poses that question makes Baz want to reach out and snog him in front of everyone watching. Everyone already is watching. Baz is surprised, but he shouldn’t be. Even though he and Bunce know about this weird friendship that’s blossomed, it doesn’t mean everyone else was clued in. Baz didn’t want anyone else clued in. 

Baz looks up from where he is tracing the line of grout between the tiles, and he feels like he’s fifteen again, just trying to simultaneously please and displease Simon. He feels like they’re back in that blazing forest again where Simon talked him down from a suicidal rampage and walked him back to the car. He feels like the flames that existed in Simon’s eyes until his magic left have now planted themselves right at the base of his spine and are tickling his back. 

Simon’s got his mouth quirked to the side, and a little dimple appears there. He’s still got his hands shoved in his pockets, but he seems more tense than before, like he’s holding something back. In these last few months of three-way Skype sessions and phone calls and group chats, it’s never felt like Simon’s tried to hold back. The three of them have something not a lot people can say they do: shared trauma. 

And Simon and Baz have more. They have the forest fire and the Humdrum setting Baz off like a killing machine. They have years of sitting in that room at the top of the turret and bickering over a window and bathroom schedules and posh soaps. They have a rivalry that’s morphed into this friendship that still feels like it’s morphing even as the silence stretches between them. 

“I want you to dance with me tonight.” It’s simple. It isn’t a confession of anything, but Simon smiles anyway. He outstretches a freckled hand, and Baz takes it. Now all those who were staring are gaping openly, but the song that plays is nice, and Baz has heard it before. 

It’s a slow rhythm meant for only two people to hear together. It’s meant for them, even if it really isn’t. 

Simon’s not the nervous wreck he once was. Baz once watched him at a special ball the school held for a blood moon, and the stiff way he danced with Wellbelove made Baz spit out his punch and laugh. Now, though, he’s the one that’s stiff. His dark blue suit feels too heavy and hot now that Snow is within inches of him. It’s the closest they’ve ever been, including after the mess in the White Chapel. 

It’s closer than two platonic blokes get. It’s closer than a lot of romantic blokes get. 

Snow must have been taught to dance before tonight and after than disastrous ball so many years ago. Baz thinks about him practicing with Wellbelove, and a small flame of jealousy glows in his mind. Then he remembers Wellbelove is in America, and the glow subsides to a flicker. 

Maybe Simon just doesn’t realize how close they’ve gotten. Maybe he’s about to trample on Baz’s toes and knock his forehead into Baz’s chin. Maybe he thinks two blokes can dance like this and just be friends. 

If this is all Baz ever gets from Simon, he can die happy and sated. He feels fuller than after he’s drained a deer. He feels like his feet aren’t nearly as heavy as they have been the past few hours. Simon’s got his arm behind Baz’s back, and Baz can feel the muscle of Simon’s shoulder through the suit jacket. Baz’s hand, eternally cold, feels comfortably toasty in Simon’s. 

It’s a strange feeling to be dancing with Simon Snow at a Leavers Ball. Baz never thought he’d make it this far. He knew he’d go to the Leavers Ball, but he thought he’d spend the entire night at the punch bowl, shooting glares at Wellbelove and Simon and nearly crushing glasses in his fist. Maybe people would assume he was mad about Agathe making up her mind once and for all about the good guy, and maybe some astute pixie would feel the jealousy and properly place it. 

Baz never thought he’d share a dance with Simon Snow at their Leavers Ball.

He never thought they’d both make it this far. He never thought there’d be a time when they could look each other in the eye, let alone be dancing at a Leavers Ball together instead of at each other’s throats the entire night. 

It would be easier if they were at each other’s throats. They’ve been there so many times that they could do the motions in their sleep. Baz is quite sure Simon already has. He’s slept close enough to the Golden Boy for the last seven and a half years to know they’re both plagued by nightmares that are too scary to mention in the morning. 

This feels like one of those dreams that Baz wouldn’t let himself think of. If he dwelled on the good dreams he had of Simon, he’d never stop. There are so many he can’t remember because he’s forced them out of his brain, but they come back now. 

There’s the one about sleeping under the sun for hours with Simon next to him, and the sun doesn’t burn them and ants don’t bother them. It’s free of bugs and sunburns and evil. That’s one of Baz’s favorites. There’s another where he’s just woken up and can feel Simon breath against the back of his neck, and he doesn’t need to look to know it’s him. And the one where they’re just kissing for hours on Baz’s bed, not moving or noticing the world crumbling away around them.

But this is so much realer than all of those dreams combined. The hand grasping Baz’s is real and warm and calloused from calling and holding a heavy sword for years. The occasional brush of dress shoes on the floor sends vibrations through Baz’s legs, and they threaten to buckle right underneath him. He knows now that Simon would catch him. No matter what, Simon has always caught him. 

“Why are you here?” Baz asks. It’s been bothering him. Without needing to say it, Simon basically swore off ever returning to Watford after December, and Baz understood. He swore off that nursery before he knew what swearing things off really meant. Baz wasn’t even irritated when neither Penny nor Simon showed up to hear his speech. People would record it, and he’d get a copy and show them if they really wanted to see it. 

Baz would swear Watford off, too if it had broken as many promises as it had with Simon. Watford promised to keep him safe. Watford promised to always be a home for him. Watford promised so many things that couldn’t have ever been promised.

Life hasn’t kept its promises to Simon Snow. 

Baz will. He’s broken the necessary ones, like the ones about killing him and smiting everything Simon loves. Coincidentally, a lot of the things he loves are now things Baz does, too. He likes Penny a lot, and sour cherry scones aren’t bad. Baz will never wrap his head around Simon’s fascination with butter, but it’s probably rooted in not being fed properly for eleven years and then suddenly getting as much food as one could want. 

Baz has promised himself to Simon Snow, in whatever way the Chosen One will have him. Baz supposed now he’ll have to stop calling him that, but now is not that time for large shifts in character. There’s been too much of that as of late. 

Simon shrugs and looks down at the floor. “I guess…I didn’t want to think about you alone here.” 

“I’m not alone,” Baz rationalizes, looking around. “There’re loads of people here. The teachers, for one, and people we’ve grown up with, and…” He wants to go on, but that obviously isn’t what Simon was getting at. Simon’s been seeing a magical therapist (one of three in the world), and while they’re working on Simon voicing his opinion, it’s not always easy. 

“Why are you here, Simon?” Baz asks again, this time with a tenderness in his voice Baz hasn’t used since Mordelia was a baby, back before she was a terror. “It’s fine to not want to be here, you know, I wouldn’t have ever made you come back.”  

Simon huffs out a laugh and looks up just as the song’s changing. The fairy lights catch the curls in his hair in brilliant flashes of light. If Baz was more of a dreamer and less of a realist, he’d call Simon Snow an angel or the closest thing to it. 

Simon smiles and says, “I know you wouldn’t.” The hold on Baz’s hand gets stronger, and the arm across his back bring him closer to Simon. “I love it when you call me Simon,” he adds, finally looking around the room and seeing everyone staring. 

“They’re all looking at you,” he mutters, his face suddenly aflame in a blush Baz will remember until his dying breath. 

“They’re looking at two blokes dancing,” Baz replies, deciding to tighten his hold on Simon as well. “Two blokes dancing who they used to have to split up before a fight broke out.” 

Simon does let out a genuine laugh at that, even if it is small. It’s a start. Baz loves to see him smile like this. The tension eases out of Simon’s back, and his arm doesn’t feel like a steel rod against Baz’s back. It just feels like the reassuring touch you’d give to someone who desperately needs it. Does Baz desperately need it? He desperately needs something from Simon Snow. 

“All that fighting,” Simon practically whispers, “and we ended up on the same side after it all.” Baz guesses that Simon can’t believe it either. Who would?

“I was always on your side,” Baz says. It’s true. Even though they fought enough for five different arch enemies, Baz was never completely on the side of the Old Families. He was also never completely on the side of the Coven. He was on a side made for him and Simon and whoever else he deemed worthy. (Penelope Bunce was more than worthy. She actually probably made the side herself, and Baz just climbed on board before he knew it truly existed.) 

Simon looks at Baz, truly, truly looks at him then. It’s the kind of look someone gives another person when they want to see if there’s a hidden intention or just true sincerity. Baz feels like he’s laid himself out time and again these past months. He’d go through it all again a million times if it got him here. He’d fight two-hundred chimeras and one-thousand dragons to be here. 

Simon’s the one that gets to decide what happens next. Baz has always been deciding what’s gone on between them. He’s chosen where they go and who they talk to and what they bicker about. It’s Simon’s turn. The ball is in his court. In a way, it’s always been, and Baz has just been playing with that stupid, red ball Simon carried all first year. 

Baz, honest-to-Merlin, doesn’t expect Simon to drop his hand and cup it around the side of Baz’s neck, just above two pin-prick sized holes that drained him of life all those years ago. He doesn’t expect Simon Snow to lean in and smile like he’s going to tell a secret, and then kiss him. 

It’s just a kiss. It’s small. It’s Baz’s first. It’s not Simon’s. Simon’s lips are chapped (like always), and his hand is calloused and tickles Baz but not enough to make him giggle. Baz doesn’t expect the kiss, so his feet move for a millisecond longer than Simon’s, and he nearly falls over. Simon leans back and lets out a single huff of laughter. His smile is genuine, and he just picks up Baz’s hand like it’s nothing. 

Baz will fall asleep that night with Simon pressed against his back in a pair of Baz’s silk pajamas. It’s a déjà vu that’s so much better than the dream. Baz will dream of that sunny hill where bugs don’t exist and birds chirp happy songs. Baz will wake up tomorrow and leave the grounds of Watford the last time for a very long time. 

But right now, they sway back and forth to a tune unfamiliar to both of them, and the world looks on at the Chosen One and his former enemy. 

Keris hands Trixie five pounds.

[authenticaussie]

What do you think the difference would be in a TMNT/OP fic with different collections of turtles?

oooooooo okay so I should be getting ready for class tomorrow but you have 100% captured me I’m so invested in this

mainly I know 2003, 2012, and Rise - well, at least, they’re my favourites and have the most distinct characterisation tbh bc they’re long-running series - SO I’ll do those guys :DD

THIS GOT LONG (because of course it did, I’ve never made a short post in my LIFE) SO FIRST: 

the main difference in fic would be tone!!!!!!!! The turtles are all really affected by the shows they come from so there’d be big differences in how they react to the new situation. Combining OP and 2018, they’re both such loud and bright shows that writing them sad would be kinda….disatisfactory to a reader. 2012 is the one where you could get kinda dark, and go down the genetic experiment and “oh wow these kids need a therapist” and Luffy being >:T wtf why are your lives so Fucked Up route, and 2003 would be hilariously awkward because they’re technically all in the same age range but they act so different wheezes

Second!!! Fun character analysis and Shenanigans under the readmore. 

2003

Probably the most responsible on this list, they’re like??? tbh, barely teenagers?? Or at the very least, 18 or 19, and they can be air-heads but 2003 goes feet-first into the whole plot and character and Everything Happens. I mean, literally in season one there’s this whole subplot about how you define monsters and genetic testing and Wild shit like that so they feel Way more adult than the Strawhats get at times. Even though One Piece covers some dark topics it….the characters - the strawhats, in particular, is what I mean - don’t feel like adults the same way the 2003 turtles do. 2003 also doesn’t feel as dark as 2012 gets sometimes, but I feel 2012 is also because they seem really young, and in 2003 at least they get to process their trauma. 2012…..kinda beats them up a lot akhsdg pft.

Sticking them with the Strawhats would be !! Honestly really funny? I feel Mikey would get along with them really well - in every iteration he’s very good at going with the flow, and hey, pirates? and they’re nice? and cool powers? - he’d have the time of his life. Donnie would try and figure out What Was Going On (as the resident “please fix this in case it’s dangerous” guy, that’s probably what his role would Often be) but I can see him being easily distracted by Franky and the whole devil fruits thing. GOD him and Franky is a thought and a half omfg. The level of tech in One Piece is so different when compared to the modern world, and it operates on rules but like, rules that are just ever so slightly different. 

Raph would be in debt Immediately. Mainly bc Nami’s manipulative like that but also because he’s just………..Like That. He’d be rude and insulting and if the strawhats were helping them out he’d be the team’s voice of reason. Or, distrust, I suppose. The one who hangs back, who’s prickly, who’s the last to offer his trust because his family needs him to be uncompromised, just in case. I think he and Zoro would clash for a bit, not like, in words but just in gestures, until the crew + turtles had been through their adventures, and gotten to the end of Whatever fic was being written, and then they’d be friends. Not best buds but like, healthy respect for each other. 

Leo……….absolutely does Not understand why Luffy is leader. It’s like making Mikey the boss; it doesn’t make sense to him, because Luffy is too trusting and he’s strong but strength doesn’t make a good leader, and in 2003 Leo’s kind of a pushover so he’d stay on the sidelines and watch with Raph. But, as everyone knows, Luffy’s magnetism is Pretty Hard To Deny, and the crew’s respect for him does a lot to show to Leo that he may be missing something but that he doesn’t have to understand. 

2012

I always……..feel so bad for TMNT2012 //weeps They’re just kids and they get put through so much like wow I’m only at season two but from spoilers there’s like?? their dad keeps DYING and being bought back to life???/ THAT’S GOTTA FUCK YOU UP!!! Plus all of them have all these different insecurities and they’re kinda mean to each other (Raph….has only given a proper apology for being a dick once so far, and I’m like. mid-way through season two. I’m sorry if this makes me mikey kin @@zali but pLEASE I cannot stand this LET THEM BE NICE TO EACH OTHER ;A; Like they’re still obviously a family but gosh they’re– so prickly)

Honestly depending on how the Strawhats meet them, like holy shit :o they might be Enemies. In 2003 I feel like they’ve been through enough to try and de-escalate a situation first, but 2012 are so Paranoid that unless they had April with them they’d be like WELP this is another mind-control alternate dimension thing, time to ninja vanish. And sure, after they ended up on whatever quest they needed to go on, Luffy would be fascinated by them (2012 definitely pushes the limits of what you can Actually do, in terms of hiding and shit, but I think that makes it fun !!) but I feel the turtles would be pretty paranoid at first. Mikey & Donnie would be the first two to be dragged out of their shells (snickers) because Donnie would be super curious (and also…probably kinda aggravated and confused) about how the one piece world rules work, and Mikey because…friends!! They already have a reindeer mutant on the crew, they’re obviously cool with mutants :D

akhsdg okay I mention that 2003 would hang back and assess Luffy’s leadership still but like 2012 would be such a dick. He never seems to learn the lesson that people have different strengths and different ways of doing things >:T and watching Luffy lead would drive him crazy. I bet he’d try and make plans and be all structured and in control and Luffy would wreck things and/or the strawhats would be like “lol no lmao, you’re not the captain”. Even if he did have a good plan, like….the Strawhats rarely follow plans if Luffy says they’re doing something different snickers. I feel a major part of this could just a nice subplot line of Leo learning to Chill and also like………give the 2012 a fun adventure I’m begging you sobs. Do a Long Long Island filler arc or smth, where it’s dumb and silly and barely dangerous because they’re all competent af. 

Also: Mikey constantly trying to find a devil fruit because “dudes, it’s probably not gonna apply when we go back home and think about how SICK superpowers would be!!!!!!!!”

He does not get one, to his disappointment. 

2018

These guys are IDIOTS and would fit in with Luffy’s brand of chaos p e r f e c t l y 

Okay so yeeeeah I’m probably biased because I think Rise may be my favourite (the family dynamics!! the character designs!! the animation!!! the stupid jokes!!! the sudden flashes of deeper plot!!!!!!!!) BUT. No-one can argue with me that Rise turtles are chaotic as fuck and they’d have the time of their LIVES with Luffy’s crew. Raph would fall in love with Chopper (Chopper would be terrified of him, continuing the terribly sad trend of Raph being Bad With Animals), Donnie would go wild glitter-eyed over the devil fruits and technology and immediately try and do a million mad scientist experiments (and look. SMILES are fucked up. But this boii would totally try and make one/figure out how they worked). He’s….a mad genius and maybe a little bit evil. 

Leo would either drive Sanji crazy or be INSTANTLY adopted and taught how to be “cool”, but I can also see Sanji and Zoro lowkey fighting over him SNICKERS. Because Leo has a sword so he’s obviously Zoro’s, but he’s suave and likes fashion so he MUST be Sanji’s, and it’s not an argument persay, until Leo says he thinks both of them are cool and then it’s a battle to the death. 

(The end of leo’s sentence was “not as cool as me tho ;P” only they didn’t notice that bit.)

April would absolutely fall in love with Robin. And also Nami?? But I feel mainly Robin like Oh Man Robin is so cool and both of them are hypercompetent??? April’s like teach me how to be a badass assassin and Robin smiles and laughs and absolutely does. 

Mikey’s so loud that he almost terrifies Usopp, and terrifying Usopp is kinda a no-no in Luffy’s book, but he likes these guys and Mikey’s just excited to have an artist friend and so both of them bounce around the ship like ping pong balls. 

There is………yeah. A lot of paint covering the Sunny after they’re through. I can’t decide if Franky would cry or laugh but I know one (1) single drop of paint got on Nami’s tangerines and she Banished them. Rise turtles probably have a really good time and the crew figures out they’re basically children really quick and make sure nothing bad happens to them. Leo promises to try and get better at portal-making so they can come visit New York sometime, and everyone is like “what the fuck is new york??” at the same time as Donnie says HEY WAIT, I THINK WE’RE ON AN ALTERNATE DIMENSION and they get teleported home :DD

THANKS FOR LETTING ME SPILL ALL MY TURTLE FEELINGS EVERYWHERE

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #143

So in keeping with the recent trend of bringing back older characters, Watamote goes for a throwback and puts the OG trio into the spotlight. With Kii-chan, we got to experience how Tomoko managed to rekindle a previously strained relationship (somewhat). Will the Tomoko-Yuu-Komiyama team finally become a true circle? Or is it destined to exist as an awkwardly shaped, but cohesive oval? 

Chapter 143: Because I’m Not Popular, The Three Of Us Will Study Together

As always, Komi’s looking damn fine with her patented punk/goth style. Those open-shouldered skull shirt, slick choker, asymmetrical skirt, and striped leggings all come together to make her look like a total rockstar. It’s delightfully contrasted by the fact that’s she’s a pervert with a baseball obsession, but being fashion-conscious does help to round out her..unsavory side.

But, Yuu, sweetheart, as much as a skater dress looks good on you, you could do without the spikes. Granted, I’m hardly an authority on fashion, and in some circles, I’m sure it looks great. But it’s doesn’t seem as...flashy as she usually presents herself. Perhaps it’s because she’s with Tomoko and Komiyama that she doesn’t feel the pressure to be overtly stylish, and is more comfortable with something more subdued.

Man, the throwbacks just keep on comin’. What’s next, are they going to find Tomoko’s Yandere Boys Verbal Abuse CD hiding in her room?   

Friendly reminder that Tomoko is, was, and will always be a piece of shit.

That said, Tomoko isn’t the type to be mean just for the heck of it. Her usual targets like Komiyama and Yoshida are only targeted because it’s been made apparent that they can handle it. With Komi-something, Tomoko knows that she’s not utterly irredeemable, which is why she takes any opportunity she can to milk Komi’s indecency. Because otherwise, she’ll be the bitch, and that’s a line even Tomoko won’t cross.

This chapter should be titled, “-the four of us will study.”

Speaking of which, Yuu and Komiyama have never seen Tomoko’s big plushie before, right? They probably think that it’s evident of Tomoko’s hidden cute side but if they ever found out about all the questionable things Tomoko does to the poor thing, that idea is sure to be shattered.

I suppose I should address the elephant in the room and ask what the hell is it with Yuu and her incessant sweating? Not even down her face or anything, but it flies off her body. Could this be her unique way of expressing hidden anxiety? That’s a scary possibility, to be sure.

No, there’s supposed to be beer cans everywhere with inebriated kids playing footsie under the table that quickly escalated into necking and–oh, wait, this is reality. My bad.

Ah, so these are the friends that Yuu-chan often brings up but we’ve never really seen before. They certainly look like a lively bunch, though that’s really all one can say from a single panel. Granted, if Yuu's school does have relatively inferior academics, then I imagine there’s a bit more goofing off going on here than actual studying.

Same here. That’s the reason yours truly goes off to work at the local cafe rather work at home. Too many distractions and external stimuli at your abode, and no one to hold you accountable for slacking off.

Not entirely sure if this is a joke lost in translation, but apparently Komiyama is humming a ditty about the Chiba Lotte Marines, namely infielder Nakamura Shougo. That’s actually kinda cute.

Got nothin’ to say. Itou just looks adorable here. 

This, however, is decidedly NOT cute.

As the series’ resident purevert, Komiyama’s crush on Tomoki has always fluctuated between two extremes: innocent, schoolgirl affection and disturbingly fetishistic lust, and this line about, um...licking Tomoki’s eye circles falls way into the latter. For the record, I’m generally nonjudgmental about one’s unharmful sexual preferences–to each their own, you know–but given Komiyama’s history, I’m genuinely concerned for Tomoki’s wellbeing should the girl ever get her paws on him. 

Itou is canonically the strongest character in the whole series. Those powers of perception were gained through unfathomable amounts of mental destruction. 

Self-awareness? What self-awareness?

Is this going to be running gag now–Yuu innocently “complimenting” Komiyama with a between-the-lines insult?

I dig it.

Some may call it slacking, I call it strategic half-assery.

Ah, so Tomoko is officially aiming for a liberal arts school. For a girl who used to have zero prospects after high school, it’s uplifting to see Tomoko with an actual long-term goal in mind. It really is the only thing she’s reasonably passionate about, and the “starving artist” lifestyle actually fits pretty well with Tomoko’s approach to the world, so good for her.

Poor Yuu is never going to make it in the “real world”, is she?

Checking out the play-by-play when you’re supposed to be studying? Sometimes I forget that Komiyama actually has a cute side.

You know, given all the times when Tomoko and Komiyama are shitting at each other, these little bits of politeness between them are much more poignant. Sure, they’re being conscientious about it since Yuu’s there, but I can see this happening even if she wasn’t. See, Tomoko and Komiyama tend to mirror each other–insults are reciprocated with insults, and friendliness is reciprocated with friendliness. Even when they swing far on one side, something always pulls them back into equilibrium.

This would’ve been a good spot to put a gag here, with Komi expecting a strikeout only to explode with joy in front of her friends when the Lotte’s make an unexpected comeback. Instead, Nico Tanigawa goes for realism, validating the more pessimistic side of Komiyama. As for why they chose this route, I actually believe its to set up a little arc for Komi. As of now, baseball and Tomoko are her saving graces, and neither is looking good right now. Ultimately, this could lead to Komi facing the reality that dreams don’t always come true, and learning to accept that.

Yuu was definitely fishing for an answer to Nemo and Katou, and the fact that Tomoko doesn’t tell her right away is actually a good sign. Back in the old days, Tomoko would jump at the chance to “brag” about Yuu, her then-only friend because she was so insecure about their friendship falling apart. Since then, she’s made a number of meaningful friends, so that need to brag is long gone. 

I love seeing characters describe other characters they’ve barely interacted with. Komi does see Nemo as a girl in the “sorta-in-crowd” so it makes sense that she would see her as “flashy”.

Says the girl who also dresses super fashionably.

Shocked, but not resentful. It’s uplighting to see Komiyama take Tomoko’s relative popularity in stride, and it’s a feeling that’s been there since the Kyoto Field Trip Arc. Despite having very few friends herself, she’s never thought poorly of Tomoko when the girl gained more friendships. If anything, it made Komiyama see her in a slightly better light now that she knows Tomoko isn’t completely irredeemable. 

I could almost swear that Komi is doing that on purpose.

Cuties.

Everybody’s Golf is that PS4 game, correct? Good taste, this girl.

Shit, Tomoko, at least take her out to dinner first.

But it actually makes sense for why Tomoko brings it up like that. She knows that she’s at that stage in her relationship with Yuu that she just can’t casually molest her anymore (not that she should have been doing that in the first place, but still). Tomoko, the perv that she is, still has those shitty desires, but she’s more tactical about it. Like a politician. 

Lol! Tomoko is such a jokester!

...right?

This harks back to those times when Tomoko fantasized about being an arms dealer/mercenary. Naturally, that’s a far cry from wanting to be a golfer, which is much more grounded in reality. Even Tomoko’s reasons about the payload and being a woman carries merit. Sure, it’s ultimately a fleeting interest, but at least her dreams aren’t so...how should I say, destructive anymore.

Even deeper into the realm of reality is her interest in being an esports streamer. Being a millennial, it’s a perfectly understandable desire that fits into Tomoko’s work ethic and personality. Sure, her last experience as a streamer was an utter failure, but now she’s got a good grasp on what it really takes to be one. My guess about Komiyama doubts stem from her thinking that female streamers become popular largely on their sex appeal, which Tomoko evidently does not have by most accounts. 

Tomokitis (noun) – a rare disease characterized by an irrational lust for little brothers with baggy eyes named Tomoki. Prolonged exposure to Tomoki will worsen the lust to the point where mere proximity will trigger it. Those afflicted are forever hopeless.

As freaky as Komiyama is, I’m more impressed that her thirst for Tomoki overrides any disgust she may have at the possibility of being related to Tomoko. Well, Tomoki is basically a drug for her at this point, and junkies have accepted far worse to gain their fix.

Sploosh.

In the rare possibility that the universe decides to hook up Tomoki and Komiyama, Tomoko is going to make one hell of a cockblocker. 

Shoot, even the cat gets a return appearance. Nico Tanigawa are really putting out all the stops lately with the nostalgia, ain’t they? 

If memory serves, there isn’t a scene in the manga that shows Yuu being particularly interested in cats, so this was actually pulled straight from the anime. You know, that scene in the last episode where Yuu chases down a mentally broken Tomoko only to suddenly stop and pet a kitty? If they're willing to reference anime-original moments like that, then Nico Tanigawa must have fond memories of their anime adaptation.  

Is Yuu taking about the dog or Yoshida? :p 

Okay, so the dog. Wonder how she’d take to being compared to a pig?

First Pineapple-chan, and now Yuu-chan. It seems pretty mandatory that anybody outside of the loop would think that Yoshida was bullying Tomoko. Of course, once you realize that Tomoko has done things that would get her on the front page of a #MeeToo article, all bets are off.

Has Tomoko ever been this upfront about how she harasses Yuu? It was always my assumption that this was an unspoken reoccurrence between the two of them. At least the physical stuff anyway, as Tomoko is known for making “jokes” about getting Yuu knocked up. The poor girl really is too sweet for her own good.

While Yuu may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, that doesn’t mean she’s clueless about the sexual world (she supposedly lost her virginity after all). I’m sure she’s aware that most people wouldn’t tolerate Tomoko “accidental” groping, hence why she questions how someone could not bully her for that. 

It’s pretty ironic how even though Yoshida is probably the most transparent character in the series, Tomoko still can’t figure out if she’s friends with her. That might be Tomoko’s fault somewhat as she’s the type who needs things spelled out to her, and given that Yoshida is more of an “actions speak louder than words” girl, you can see the barrier there. At some point, one of them’s going to have to take that first step and say it to the other’s face if this friendship is going to go places.  

Poor Yuu. The first friend of the series is the last friend to see Tomoko’s growth.

This has been a headcanon of mine since the very beginning of the series, but I’ve always felt that Yuu Naruse had this inner sadness to her. That underneath her beautiful looks and kind personality was a girl who suffers more than she lets on. Remember, Yuu’s personality is fundamentally the same as it was in middle school, despite all the outwardly changes she made in high school. What Tomoko once called a “debut” could have actually been a survival tactic. Yuu never likes to be a bother, and her way of hiding her emotions isn’t always healthy, whether it’s holding back tears about a terrible beach, or making her friends sing for an hour at karaoke. And heaven forbid her breakup with her ex-boyfriend was uglier than she let on. Worse yet, Yuu knows her weaknesses, which only makes her self-deprecating moments hurt even more.

Perhaps I’m talking out of my ass, but hey, Yuu deserves an overcomplicated character analysis just like all the others.  

And as always, Yuu, the angel she is, always puts Tomoko before herself...

I find it admirable that Komiyama is so secure about her social life. Her tiny circle of friends and lack of some Tomoki lovin’ have never truly brought her down, and she can even make fun of herself for it. It’s much different from Tomoko’s rampant self-consciousness of the earlier days, Some may argue it’s a lack of shame as opposed to self-confidence, but Komi is clearly making the best out of it.

Hikari, eh? Other than reminding me of a certain Pokêmon character, I wonder if that’s a joke about how Itou “lights up” when she unleashes her powers of observation.

...

...

...

So, um...fujoshi anyone?

The prices one pays to be a friend to Kotomi Komiyama. 

All in all, this was a fairly easygoing chapter, as most chapters with the OG trio are. With the emotional rollercoaster that Golden Week had provided us, it’s nice to wind down a bit and reflect on the past. That’s not to say that this is a “recap” chapter by any means. Simply that this self-reflection exists to guide our heroines into the next stage of their young lives. It may be as simple as making a new friend over a perverted Skype call, but if there’s only one thing this series has taught us, it’s that the simple things are just the start of something greater.

[wazafam]

For the past five years, the residents of Bravo's Summer House have invaded the easternmost tip of Long Island, NY to escape the hustle and bustle of work-week Manhattan. In season 5, filmed during the pandemic, they're sequestering together for the whole summer, amping up the tension and heightening the outbursts.

RELATED: Summer House: Where To Find The Cast On Instagram (Season 5)

Since the reality show premiered in 2017, the cast has changed some, but the drama has remained the same. Of course, a number of these up-and-coming professionals stand out from the rest, if only to prove that even with youth and beauty, the struggle can still be real.

10 Luke Gulbranson

He may be the worst of the best, but Luke brought inter-house dating/two-timing into the mix as well as an argument that was one tequila shot away from turning into a brawl. OG cast member Kyle Cooke took umbrage with the Northern Minnesota native's treatment of women, as he'd been playing both Hannah Berner and newbie Ciara Miller. (Ciara didn't take the bait, but Hannah fell hook, line, and sinker.)

The thing is though, Luke is a working actor, most recently appearing alongside Kaley Cuoco in HBO Max's The Flight Attendant, so it's hard to know if his cad-like behavior is genuine or if he's "auditioning."

9 Lauren Wirkus

The now married (since June of 2020 as well as expecting) identical twin of Ashley, brought the confidence of a person who knew someone always had her back. Housemate Carl Radke had no chance when he was in a relationship with Lauren because when they'd have a fight, he'd end up being double-teamed by the Wirkus Circus.

She left the series after season 2, but while Lauren was in the house, she made her presence known, such as when she smashed a cake in Carl's face, or in season 2 when Lauren stepped back and gave the floor to Ashley who smashed a watermelon on it to make known their twin anger at Carl.

8 Stephen McGee

Thus far the only representative of the LGBTQ community, he brought attention to the struggle of trying to balance living his life as an openly gay man (dating Travis) and getting along with his conservative southern family.

In seasons 1 & 2, the event planner was a bit of a pot-stirrer. Giving off a very nice and almost innocent vibe, Stephen appeared to be someone to whom people felt safe in confiding. However, he'd turn around and expose those secrets the minute he felt left out or angered, such as when Stephen got fed up with Carl's treatment of BFF Lauren and revealed Carl's little-known same-sex romantic encounter.

7 Ciara Miller

As with The Real Housewives of New York, Bravo rightly decided it was time to add a POC to the all-white cast. The Atlanta native was introduced as a friend of Luke's, but because of her confidence, broke free of the association and created her own identity and friendships.

RELATED: Summer House: Ciara Miller's Age, Net Worth, Instagram, Job & More

Ciara, although a part-time model, brings a bit of gravitas to the show via her profession as an ICU nurse who was on the frontline of the COVID-19 relief efforts. Because she likely saw real-life drama in her professional life, she doesn't need it in her personal life, keeping her head while those around her are losing theirs.

6 Paige DeSorbo

The native New Yorker and fashion influencer (her bedroom at the summer house looks like a giant walk-in closet) has emerged from the crowd as the voice of reason, and like Ciara has managed to stay above the fray, presumably because she has a non-cast member boyfriend, Perry, hence no on-premises entanglements.

Paige has also evolved into the role of in-house counsel/therapist, intervening to advise, negotiate and point out when there's enough blame to go around. Because no one is perfect, she's been known to stir the pot when someone gets on her bad side.

5 Amanda Batula

When we first met Amanda she was Kyle's beleaguered girlfriend. Even though they were in a committed relationship, he saw no reason to stop seeing other women--especially after drinking too much, which seemed to be every waking moment of the weekend.

Because of that, the guest-cum-cast member had chronic Resting Cry Face, as she often screamed at him. But there's nothing like a long-awaited engagement ring to say all's forgiven. Amanda is very self-assured in her relationship, coming to Kyle's defense against anyone who "comes after my man," and recently left her full-time position as a graphic designer to become the Creative, Branding and Marketing head of Loverboy, a hard teas and craft cocktails venture started by Kyle. Their wedding has been postponed more than once.

4 Hannah Berner

No one can take a conversation from zero to 60 like this roommate. The podcast host (Berning in Hell and the new Giggly Squad with pal Paige) is the epitome of free-spiritedness and has made no secret that she's not just looking for love but looking to be loved. Perhaps now that, on season 5, Hannah has gotten over Luke by getting under new guy (now fiance) Des Bishop, she will calm down.

Unfortunately, this co-host of Bravo's Chat Room is often hard to like because she constantly starts fights--especially with Kyle. The phrase "hurt people, hurt people" comes to mind when it comes to this young woman who, even when smiling, seems rather sad.

3 Carl Radke

They say life doesn't give you more than you can handle. If this is true, then Carl can handle a lot. His brother passed away, his parents' marriage failed and left his mother devastated and using her son as her sounding board, and the sales professional lost his job. On top of all that he had to come to terms with his escalated drinking. Those who recall his earlier season relationship with Lauren, and more recently with current housemates Paige and Lindsay Hubbard, know that as a boyfriend, it'll be awhile before he's ready to settle down.

RELATED: Summer House: Why Some Fans Aren't Happy That Carl Radke Quit Alcohol

Although Carl seems determined to get his life under control, beginning with his position working for Kyle running Sales and Business Development for Loverboy, there is a deep emotion that could be construed as anger under the surface, evidenced by the fight between Kyle and Luke, which had bystander Carl the first to lunge at Luke fist raised.

2 Lindsay Hubbard

Piece of work is a phrase that comes to mind when talking about this blonde bombshell with brains to match. Lindsay is ambitious and business-savvy, and not one to hold back when something's on her mind. She's at once an older sister/advisor to the house's younger female squad, yet when it comes to romance needs a mentor of her own.

Over the seasons we've seen this alpha female have the same confrontation with former cast member/lover Everett, current cast mate/former lover Carl, and current boyfriend Stephen that goes something like: "You should kiss the ground I walk on; You should only focus on me; You should make 'me' a sandwich." There's a fine line between having high standards as to how you want to be treated and wanting to be treated like a Disney Princess. Lindsay seems to be standing on it.

1 Kyle Cooke

This guy is the gift that keeps on giving. The hard-partying entrepreneur has kept it interesting from the pilot by always finding a way to make it all about him. The quintessential Peter Pan, the 38-year-old is everybody's big brother, yet can be the most immature person in the room, unaware that his frat boy days are behind him.

Kyle seems to be one of those people who cannot be confined, hence he chooses to accept the risk of being an entrepreneur rather than work a 9-to-5, and why it took awhile to remain loyal to Amanda, whom he proposed to in season 3 (2019). The couple has yet to marry, citing the global health pandemic as the reason. Although this was probably a factor, Amanda might secretly suspect what viewers have known all along: she might want to wait until Kyle grows up.

NEXT: Winter House: How The Reality Show Will Be Different From Summer House

Summer House: 10 Best Castmates, Ranked | ScreenRant from https://ift.tt/3spyoWd

[mercerislandbooks]

Girls With Bright Futures: A Conversation

You’ll be seeing a book on the Island Books new paperback fiction table February 2nd, if you haven’t already spied it on several most anticipated releases of 2021 lists, including Newsweek, Refinery29 and Popsugar. With an eye catching cover, a local setting and an instantly intriguing premise, Girls With Bright Futures is the book everyone is going to be talking about. Taking place in Seattle at the fictional Elliott Bay Academy, and told from three alternating points of view, we get an inside look into the cutthroat world of college admissions and the unrelenting pressure on both the kids applying for college and the parents trying to ensure their success.

I was hooked from the very first page, plunged into the high stakes of vying for the last early admission spot at Stanford, and thankful that my college application days are now in the distant past! Seattle residents and co-authors, Tracy Dobmeier and Wendy Katzman, were kind enough to answer a few of my questions about their book and the writing process. And be sure to check out the details for their book launch at Island Books at the end of the blog!

Welcome Tracy and Wendy! How did you two decide to write a book together?

We’ve been friends for more than 20 years. In fact, Wendy’s husband and Tracy first met when they were right out of college living in Washington, DC. We all ended up in Seattle in the mid-1990s and connected when our oldest kids were toddlers, and the two of us became instant friends. Over the years, we’ve supported each other through careers, motherhood, community volunteer work, and many life events—some wonderful, others terrifying. Throughout it all, we bonded over our deep reliance on humor and our tremendous mutual respect. It’s not an exaggeration to say that we always felt a collaboration on something was inevitable. But for years, the perfect idea eluded us. On long, angsty walks, we batted around book ideas (always non-fiction in those early days), business ideas, and even an idea for a board game. But at the bottom of it all was a desire to better understand the culture of motherhood today—all its rewards and privileges, and on the flip side, the judgment and toxic self-doubt that plague so many of us.

Finally, just when we were starting to launch our kids from the nest, we read two books that really set us off on this path, but for very different reasons. The first was Modern Romance which was a collaboration between the comedian Aziz Anzari and Eric Klinenberg, a sociologist from Columbia, in which they looked at how romance and courtship rituals have evolved over the last 100 years or so. Something about that the way that book took on a culturally relevant topic, combining humor and research really resonated with us and got us thinking about whether we could do something similar with modern motherhood and friendship. But we quickly realized we were neither stand-up comedians nor sociologists, so we were still casting about for an idea.

And then we read another amazing book—Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. We were so inspired. For years, we’d been telling our kids that it’s OK to try new stuff even if it means failing sometimes, and yet we’d been unwilling to take that kind of risk ourselves. And so we thought: If we were going to “go big” and really risk being vulnerable, what would we do? All of the sudden we realized we wanted to write fiction (and please believe us: writing a novel and sharing it with the world is an excruciating exercise in vulnerability!). We wanted to create something, to be free to dream up characters and stories and worlds. The only flaw in this plan was that neither of us had ever written a word of fiction. If only we could figure out how to write a novel, we believed our work ethic and willingness to hold ourselves accountable to each other would get us the rest of the way there. So what did we do? We kid you not...we pulled out our computers and googled: “How do you write a novel?” That was at the end of February, 2016—and the rest is history!

What was the inspiration for Girls With Bright Futures?

Because our book is launching in the wake of the Operation Varsity Blues college admissions scandal, most people assume that salacious news story was our inspiration, but that’s actually not the case. In fact, prior to Girls with Bright Futures, we had already written an entire manuscript featuring college admissions mania as a major theme, but that manuscript was submitted to publishers in 2018 without success. Forced to go back to the drawing board, we ultimately conceived of Girls with Bright Futures in late 2018 and had not only plotted out the entire book but had nearly completed our first draft when the scandal first broke in March 2019!

As far as why we chose this topic in particular, it's kind of a long story! But in a nutshell, when our older boys were in the midst of the college admissions process, each of our husbands suffered a life-threatening health crisis. Thankfully (knock on wood), our guys are alright, but it was such a bizarre coincidence that we both experienced such intense brushes with mortality during the high anxiety of the college admissions process—it felt like a sign we couldn’t ignore. Initially, our writing was more therapy than anything, enabling us to try to make sense of all our feelings. At the same time, we became fascinated by what seemed to be an increasingly competitive and anxiety provoking college admissions process for our kids. We wanted to explore the impacts of all this on families, friendships, students, and school communities.  

The pacing is so good in your narrative, what was your writing process like to make that happen?

Well first, thank you for saying that! We’re staring at each other over Zoom right now trying to remember how it all came together! Before we start writing, we work out every scene—e.g., whose point of view, where the scene starts and ends, and what we need to accomplish. Every scene has a specific purpose to keep the plot unfolding. In addition, we really wanted our story to illustrate and mirror the real-life phenomenon of how an anxiety-fueled action by one character can provoke escalating responses in others. Some of our pacing derives from this tension. Finally, we intentionally juxtaposed humorous or satirical scenes against more serious ones, and dialogue-heavy scenes with more expository-laden scenes. After all, variety is the spice of life (ugh—and cliches are the bane of a writer’s existence!).

How did you decide what kind of representation you wanted in your characters?

Our overarching goal was to write a compelling (even shocking!) fictional depiction of the toxicity of the college admissions process for parents, families, friendships, and communities. There were many different approaches we could have taken and we considered all of these, including race, ethnicity, and income/class. As two white women, we were conscious of not wanting to misappropriate any stories, but we did want to find a way to show how racism rears its head in this setting. We decided to make our three main characters white women of varying socioeconomic levels while incorporating plot twists (no spoilers here) and a whole roster of women whose races and ethnicities are intentionally ambiguous to expose some common racist assumptions in many high school communities. Telling this story through a lens of extreme income inequality allowed us to shine a light on the role of that particular trend as a major driver of anxiety and bad behavior in many school communities. Our hope is that we’ve constructed a story that will stimulate discussion on a range of social justice issues.

What was surprising to you about writing your first book?

Writing and publishing a book are two totally different endeavors. On the writing front, we had no idea how little time we’d spend actually writing our book versus planning it on the front end and revising/editing it on the back end. In terms of publishing, we were initially surprised to learn how much marketing is involved and that the majority of that marketing involves social media (even more so now because we’re launching in a pandemic). As neither of us were remotely active on social media before our publishing journey, we had to push ourselves to overcome our discomfort and there has also been a (very) steep learning curve (like what the heck is an Instagram story for and why do we have to do it?). We’ve been fortunate to have digital natives (i.e., our children) who owe us big-time for all the years we spent raising them. Check out our social media game on Instagram @katzndobs.

What are you working on now?

While we can no longer sit side-by-side at Tracy’s house, we’ve continued working together over Zoom. Our next novel isn’t a sequel to Girls with Bright Futures, but it’s set in a similar world with more parents behaving badly. That’s about all we can say right now!!

And last but not least, at Island Books the staff is always asked about what we’re reading. What are the two of you reading and recommending now?

Tracy: My favorite read over the holidays was The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, and I am currently reading Black Buck by Mateo Askaripour.

Wendy: Eliza Starts a Rumor by Jane Rosen was my favorite read over the holidays, and His Only Wife by Peace Adzo Medie is my current read.

Photo by  @KristenSycamorePhotography

Tracy and Wendy will be at Island Books on Saturday, February 6th from 10am to 2:30 pm for a Covid-era signing of Girls With Bright Futures. A free custom Hello Robin cookie is their special gift to you with purchase of their book, while supplies last! So put on your mask and stop by to support these lovely debut authors and their fantastic book. Hope to see you there! 

-- Lori

[backstorywithdanalewis]

Iran and The Bomb Back Story with Dana Lewis podcast.   Link :  https://www.buzzsprout.com/1016881/6653866

Netanyahu: (00:00) Covert and over key part of the plan was to form new organizations to continue the work. This is how dr. Musen  is a day and a project about put it, remember that name [inaudible] the general lame is to announce the closure of project amount, but then he adds special activities. You know what that is? Special activities will be carried out under the title of scientific know-how development. Dana Lewis - Host: (00:32) Hi everyone. I'm Dana Lewis and welcome to another edition of backstory that was Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu in 2018. Talking about the Uranian senior nuclear scientist, who on November the 27th was assassinated by a remotely operated series of weapons in Iran, Wilson,  resided. It was a Brigadier general in the Islamic revolutionary guards, an academic physicist, and he headed up the nuclear program of Iran. Netanyahu has always been a proponent of military action against Iran and likely ordered the killing. It's ironic that just a few days before the heat on [inaudible] [inaudible] newspaper in Israel ran an analysis piece saying Netanyahu warns Biden. As if he's Iran strategy hadn't failed miserably with Obama and Trump in terms of actually influencing the nuclear deal. It said the prime minister never misses an opportunity to miss an opportunity. The essence of that article was in warning incoming us president Biden, not to go back on the 2015 nuclear agreement. Dana Lewis - Host: (01:40) Mr. Iran, as Netanyahu was often dubbed in Israel could have taken an active role in the original nuclear talks with Tehran and made the deal to stop Iran from developing a nuclear bomb air tight, but Netanyahu preferred to sulk on the sidelines and then heavily criticized the agreement, poisoning his relations with the Obama presidency. And now probably he's doing the same with the Biden administration on this backstory analysis from the Soufan center think tank on what he run may do now, but first, a rare opportunity to hear from a man who was on the European team, negotiating the Iranian nuclear deal. He was a former national security advisor here in Britain, incredibly well briefed with firsthand knowledge on Iran and its attempts to arm itself with nuclear weapons. Dana Lewis - Host: (02:39) All right, in London where I am now, I want to introduce you to sir, Mark Lyle grant, who previously worked for the foreign and Commonwealth office as high commissioner in Pakistan. And he served the UK is a ambassador to the UN for six years, and he was national security advisor to two prime ministers, David Cameron and Theresa May until 17. Hi Mark. Thanks for joining us. Thanks Dana. Pleasure to be here, mr. Ambassador can I say, I mean, you, you were in Iran, you went there as part of the negotiations. Um, how many times? Mark Lyall Grant: (03:14) Well, just once, um, I was the UK, um, Iranian nuclear negotiator for basically a two and a half year period when I was the political director in the foreign office in London and together with the France Germany, United States, China and Russia, we negotiated successfully whilst I was there, but eventually leading to the joint comprehensive plan of action, uh, which was a great infinity 15. And as part of that process, uh, we went to Tehran in, uh, 2008, um, present, uh, an agreed plan by the foreign ministers of those six countries. And then we met Iran twice more, uh, in Geneva, um, as follow up meetings to that first one. So we had just the one visit to Taylor. Dana Lewis - Host: (04:02) And what was that like? What was the atmosphere like in Tehran? Mark Lyall Grant: (04:06) Well, I mean, Tehran is a, I hadn't been there before. It's a very interesting, uh, city. I mean, you've got the mountains in the background. I wouldn't say it's a beautiful city, but the setting is, is very pleasant. Um, and there's a lot of people who, if you meet them privately can speak perfectly openly. One of the paradoxes about Iran and, and particularly the rupture between Iran and United States since 1979 is that Iran is probably has a population that is more pro Western than any of the Arab nations in the region. It has great internet titration than any of the neighbors near the, in the Arab countries. And therefore it is a quite a sophisticated population. And when you meet in private, as I met with various, uh, uh, NGOs and think tankers after the official tools, and you can have some very interesting discussions, Dana Lewis - Host: (05:00) Let's fast forward to where we are now. I mean, a lot has happened. So, right. So now you have, uh, people who are calling, uh, in Europe, diplomats that are saying France, Germany, the UK must move quickly to set out a roadmap for Iran so that the, the incoming Biden administration, uh, we'll get the U S to come back to the table, get Iran to come back to the table, especially now given the escalating tensions. Do you think that's happening in the background and it's got to happen? Mark Lyall Grant: (05:30) Yeah, I'm sure it is happening and it, it should happen. Um, because there is an opportunity with Joe Biden coming in in January to see whether there is a possibility of reengaging Iran on this, uh, nuclear deal. But cause personally, and I think I I'm speaking, uh, certainly for the three European governments, uh, it was a mistake for president Trump to pull out of the deal completely in 2018, the deal perfect. Let's be a hundred percent clear about that. And we can talk about that and weaknesses in the deal, but it was certainly a lot better than the potential alternatives at the time. It was therefore mistake to just pull out of the deal rather than see whether it would be improved in some way. So I think Dubai, Dana Lewis - Host: (06:16) If I can jump in there, I mean, John Bolton, the former national security advisor of Trump and a lot of different Republicans have poured so much water on this deal saying that it's unverifiable, it's the, you know, Trump himself is saying, it's the worst deal ever. Why did they say that? If you say, essentially, Mark Lyall Grant: (06:33) Let me, let me, let me address some of those criticisms because essentially there are three criticisms that you can make legitimate criticisms you can make of the deal that was struck. Uh, the first is that it covered only the nuclear weapons program. It did not cover a ballistic missile technology program, which of course is important. Secondly, it did not cover Iran's malign regional role it's support for terrorist organizations for them. Fears is below et cetera, in the region and its attempts to destabilize some of its names. And thirdly, the deal was time limited. There was a sort of sunset clause in the deal. So it would last only a maximum of 15 years. Now those are all legitimate criticisms, but you have to put that against the alternatives at, because if I just could delve into the history a little bit, there was a time when I was, uh, in the negotiating where the intelligence was clear that Iran had the capability to acquire a nuclear weapon, a bomb, and you feel a bomb within a less than one year period. Mark Lyall Grant: (07:48) Now this deal, it prevent, uh, Avon, former nuclear weapons for at least 15 years. Of course it had some very important characteristics in it. It had in it, um, the need to eliminate entirely the stockpile of medium enrich uranium. It had to get rid of the, reduce the stock pile of low in which germanium, um, 80, 98% of that. And he only allowed very limited amounts of low enriched uranium for the next 15 years. It also reduce the number of centrifuges by two-thirds. And most importantly, and this is a based some of the commentary that you've mentioned. It was entirely verifiable. There was a whole regime of inspections by the energy, by the international atomic energy agency, which is a thought off, uh, affiliated to the UN if you like, where they could go with, uh, inspections whenever they wanted in all the facilities that were covered. Mark Lyall Grant: (08:55) So it was, uh, I think a good deal. And what it meant was two things. One that it prevented everyone acquiring a nuclear weapon for first 15 years and 15 years is a long time in politics. So in that 15 years, you could have regime change into Iran. You could have, uh, new abilities to attack the program, perhaps offensive, cyber weapons, et cetera, that could be used against the program. So buying 15 years, when it looked as though they would have that capability within one year was very important. And he did this famous musical, um, the fork in the work that as you approach the period where you had a fall, where you had to decide, are you all gonna bond me around and try and take out militarily? All its nuclear facilities, incidentally would not be easy because they are deep, deep, underground. Uh, many of them or the other folk is that you accept, like we have for India and Pakistan so that they have acquired nuclear weapons despite the nonproliferation treaty. Mark Lyall Grant: (10:03) And you contain them in some other political diplomatic way. That is the fork in the road that the JCP airway avoided or pushed back at least the 15, 15 years, what we're faced with now, having president Trump, having pulled out of the deal and essentially the team falling apart, although the Europeans have never sort of formally advocated isn't normal in fact is Iran completely, but it has started reaching the deal is that you're going to just bring that fork in the road to get closer. So there is an opportunity now to try and reverse that bad decision that I think president Trump made. Why did he do it? Dana Lewis - Host: (10:45) You say, you know, people like Bolton and Trump say it wasn't verifiable, but I mean, clearly it's just not your, just not your opinion, but I mean, the UA, the UN the IAEA clearly is showing us pictures and life camera feeds. And they said it was absolutely verifiable. And that's why Europeans were willing to stick with the deal. Why did the Americans want to pull out of it just for political a headline? You know, how was it understandable? Mark Lyall Grant: (11:15) I think there's a lot of politics in it. I mean, you're right to, to quote the fact that president Trump had said it was the worst deal ever. And he said that before he was elected, I mean, this was during his sort of campaign rhetoric. And at the fundamentally it wasn't a bomber deal. You know, the deal was done by president Barack Obama and everything that president Obama did, president Trump didn't like whether there was a pharma care in generally or, or lots of the foreign policy issues. So given the, a bomber considered the nuclear deal to be a sort of shiny example of his achievements in foreign policy. And to be honest, he didn't have a huge number to point to, but, Dana Lewis - Host: (11:54) And you're not the first one to say that. Yep. Mark Lyall Grant: (11:56) Well, listen, it was an opportunity to, to attack it. I think it was probably more that than anything else. I think then you fold in Israel probably a bit played a role in it because don't forget that, you know, president Trump had two years in office before he pulled out after the deal, and it's not complete coincidence that he did so shortly after John Bolton was appointed as national security, Dana Lewis - Host: (12:18) Right? Bolton was never a favor of dealing with Iran, negotiating with Iran, uh, and was always a proponent of military action against Iran, but without really ever laying out how that would be successful, otherwise Israel probably would have done it on its own, but you roll in Israel too, though. I mean, there is another interloper and a state, which didn't think it's a real deal and didn't think that it was verifiable and thought all along that Iran was slowly making the bomb anyway. Mark Lyall Grant: (12:46) Yes, he made that case publicly that the United nations over call with a big sort of cartoon picture of a bomb and, uh, an hour threatening that was, and I attended talks between, um, present upon it as an engine yard who, and Theresa May in Downing street when we argued back and forth about the merits of the, of the nuclear deal. Um, I think, uh, and I post me argued the case with, um, with Jared Kushner and Steve Bannon, uh, and Trump's team when, um, when they came into office. So, you know, we knew the arguments that the Israelis were going to make, and we knew the arguments that president Trump's team were going to make, but we simply didn't agree with them. And I think they had a, perhaps a lack of understanding, not being raised, but the Trump team and a slight lack of understanding of the history that had gone into this on the sort of 15 years of negotiations that had led up to up to the deal. I think there's in yarns point of view, of course he wanted, uh, Trump to, uh, advocate the deal who, because he wanted a free hand to try and actually force the fork in the road. I think Israel fought came. He could persuade the Americans to do the bombing. I mean, Israel could do some itself, but it could wipe out Iran's nuclear facilities on the turf. Dana Lewis - Host: (14:04) And now you have Israel that has carried on this allegedly this assassination of most in fact Rosati. And of course, Netanyahu hasn't commented. And I think the head of his intelligence services has said they don't know who carried out the deal, but certainly Iran thinks it was Israel. And maybe some of the Iranian opposition that is based in Europe, they have accused them as well. Does it achieve anything? Does it roll back a nuclear program by killing the head scientist? And who do you think did it? Mark Lyall Grant: (14:35) I, I don't, I mean, I, I don't know who did it, but I don't think it's unreasonable to conclude that it was probably the Israelis. Um, and I don't think it's reasonable to conclude that the timing is linked to the fact that president Trump has two more months in the office, but I think, whereas you could argue, and I think by probably would argue that the killing of general Soleimani in January, this year by like eight have quite a, uh, substantive impact on the ability of the COOs force to, uh, carry out terrorist operations overseas, but the was ahead. And he was a very powerful figure. I'm not so sure about factories. Are there, I mean, he's certainly an important scientist with other scientists and Iran already has the nuclear know-how, it's not as though it needs a research. It's more about the development of the program rather than actually, uh, initiate things, such semi to get the technology. Mark Lyall Grant: (15:37) Right. So, so I, I'm less convinced I'm not, I don't know, back resigned his background and his pitch size wrong. Um, I don't think it will have a particularly substantial impact on the, um, program itself. And I think there is a risk that it could be counterproductive, but do reasons one, it will reinforce, uh, Iranian, um, incentive and determination to plus, and with the program. And also, let's not forget that there are presidential elections in Iran coming in 2021. And president Rouhani may not look like a sort of moderate Democrat, and certainly isn't a moderate Democrat, but as we know from Ahmadinejad and others who have proceeded him, there are people who are much more radical and much more hard-line than him, uh, who will leave on notes of, uh, attacks. And it will certainly improve their chances on election. Dana Lewis - Host: (16:34) If whoever carried out this attack was interested in carrying up the pavement for a Biden administration, to re-engage with Iran and hoping that Iran will fiercely respond and make the gap between dialogue with a new American administration, even larger. Do you think that Iran will disappoint them? Are they, are they smart enough to hold back and wait for that moment where they can move to dialogue rather than move to some kind of response, whether wherever it be. Mark Lyall Grant: (17:14) I think it's difficult to judge that because one called, think about Iran as a political entity. Yeah. You can say in Saudi Arabia that all the decisions are taken by one, maybe two people, you can't say that in Iran, you know, it's not a democracy, but there is a plurality of politics in Iran that is completely absent from the Arab States, for instance. So there is a precedent, he has a role, Ronnie, but there is the Supreme leader. There's the IGC, there's the bizarre is there's the Magister shooter. Now all of these bodies have an influence in the eventual decision at night be taken in. So I think if you look at president Mahoney or the foreign ministers a week, they will certainly want to not close off the possibility of engagement with Joe Biden, but equally Israelis probably absolutely. For the reasons you say, have an interest in making it much more difficult that we engagement to take place. And president Trump in his last couple of months may help to facilitate that. So I think there is a risk that Iran will be, will be pushed into a retaliation, which would make engagement more difficult. Certainly Dana Lewis - Host: (18:28) Last question to you, you know, you said you got to that fork in the road where, you know, you, you, you either had to choose them getting a bomb or you had to choose dialogue. Um, and then the drawbacks in the deal with the fact that you didn't take into it, it didn't, uh, put a new surround their rocket program, or it didn't bridal malign activities. I mean, it's, it's almost naive to think that a, a, a new agreement, even with the best intentions, uh, is suddenly going to deal with all of that. I mean, it's, it's almost a lot of people would say, you have to start somewhere, go back into, uh, a nuclear non-proliferation agreement with Iran. And then while you have whatever the period is going to be this time, whether it's going to be another 15 years or up to that 15 years, then you start dealing with some of these other issues. Or do you think it should be a more encompassing in retrospect, a more encompassing deal? Mark Lyall Grant: (19:27) Well, I think you can try and make it a more encompassing deal. I mean, let's not forget that the original deal, yes, it was restricted to the nuclear program, but that didn't prevent other action taking place at the same time on the ballistic, besides, and particularly on the regional, well, it didn't rule out anything either then, or indeed on the nuclear program at the end of the 15, 15 year period, know, John Bolton is a good example of someone who says often let's make the problem bigger. So we made the problem bigger. We bring in these other two issues and then let's sit down and negotiate. And I think there may well be, uh, an effort to try and do that, but whether it will be successful or not, we'll see, um, it wasn't successful in the sort of 15 year negotiations in which I was involved. Um, but it's, there is no doubt that what is constraining, the Arabians is the sanctions. They do have economic sanctions. The UN security council is United against the nuclear program. So the opportunity for tougher sanctions, so they are suffering and that may make them more amenable to some of these wider discussions, Dana Lewis - Host: (20:38) Ambassador, Mark Lyall grant. Great to have your perspective, somebody who's been in the room and we're part of the negotiations as a former national security advisor to two prime ministers here in Britain. Great to talk to you, sir. Thank you. All right. Let's go to Pittsburgh now. And Colin Clark is a senior research fellow with the Soufan center. Hi, Colin, how are you doing Dana timing? You know, talk to me about the assassination of the, the senior nuclear scientist. What, why now? And who do you think that? Colin Clarke - Soufan: (21:18) Well, I think there's considerable concern. Um, at least by the Israelis that, uh, Biden administration is not going to be, um, as open-minded to, uh, you know, Israel's kind of point of view as the Trump administration was. And I, and I think that's probably correct. Um, there are concerns that the Biden administration will re-engage with the Iranians and attempt to reinsure, uh, the multi-lateral, uh, nuclear deal. And that's something that, um, the Israelis are very adamant against Dana Lewis - Host: (21:48) Why isn't it than Yahoo, so adamantly against it. And then I also talked to John Bolton, Trump's national security advisor and former ambassador to the, to the, to the UN before. And he said, it just wasn't verifiable. I mean, they, they really, um, you know, they really put holes in the agreement. And yet you talk to other people, Europeans here who some of them I've talked to who helped negotiate this agreement and they say it was verifiable and it was a good agreement. And it stopped Iran from getting a nuclear weapon. Colin Clarke - Soufan: (22:19) Yeah, well, clearly Netanyahu disagrees. I think, you know, many hardliners within Israel are uncomfortable, uh, where there comes to an element of trust with the Iranian regime. And I think that's born over decades of, uh, mistrust and, and, and so, uh, in some ways I do see the perspective of Netanyahu, however, um, you know, it's my belief that the only really viable way forward is engaging with the Iranians diplomatically. And even if we are able to kind of, uh, you know, renegotiate a deal, I'm not one for blind trust. I'm, I'm more of a guy that believes in, you know, trust in God, but lock your car Dana Lewis - Host: (22:59) Trust, but verify as the Russians or as, um, as president Reagan said to glory, you know, trust, but verify. And in fact, in this case, they had, uh, UN inspectors in there verifying, and the UN the IAEA seemed like they were pretty happy with the outcome. Look, do you believe, and I've just read your report that you wrote for the Soufan center. Um, do you believe that, uh, the Saudis were approached in this meeting by, by Netanyahu to lay the groundwork for a military strike against Iran by the Trump administration? Colin Clarke - Soufan: (23:36) I don't know. I hope not. Um, I do believe it's feasible that the Saudis were approached. Um, but you know, if you are the Saudis, the MRR or, or, you know, another country in the region, and you think that, um, you know, you've got leverage or you've got some chips to play, I don't know why you'd cash them in now with the Trump administration. You're more likely to wait, uh, and, and engage with divided administration because you're, otherwise you're dealing with a lame duck. Uh, I know that Trump's approach has been one of scorched earth. He's trying to break everything on his way out, uh, which is really, you know, in my opinion, that's detrimental to us policy, uh, you know, it's really a policy of vengeance, uh, and you know, so it's, it's going to be something we're going to have to spend a lot of time repairing. Um, so, so, yeah. Is it feasible that the Saudis were approached about this? Probably. Um, but I don't think it's wise to, uh, begin a conflict, uh, right. You know, full stop, much less, um, you know, with less than 70 days left in the administration, uh, and really no mandate, right? I mean, this is someone that's, um, spending most of this time trying to discredit free and fair elections in his own country. Dana Lewis - Host: (24:51) Well, he's always worried about his record and wiping out, uh, president Obama's record. And this deal by the way was part of the Obama administration's deal that he wanted to get rid of in the campaign. But you mentioned the word vengeance. Talk to me about Iranian inventions. I mean, what are they capable of doing? And do you think that they'll pull the trigger on retaliation at this point, Colin Clarke - Soufan: (25:15) Could be, uh, if you go back to September, 2019, you see exactly what the Iranians are capable of doing operating through the region, putting the Houthi rebels, operating from a Rocky soil, uh, you know, in areas kind of nominally controlled by Iraqi Shia militia. Uh, if you look at, uh, again, going back to the who these, their capabilities, you're talking about a violent non-state actor with the capabilities of a nation state, I mean, really fairly sophisticated, um, you know, ability to use drones, um, ability to use, um, some, some pretty high-speed weaponry, including vessels. Dana Lewis - Host: (25:54) You can go after who Colin Clarke - Soufan: (25:57) And attack the Saudis attack, Saudi infrastructure, uh, primarily. And I think, you know, when you go back to September, 2019, I remember, I think I was on Bloomberg, uh, television a couple of days after the attack. And the interviewer said, well, so what's the United States going to do? And I said, what do you mean we weren't attacked Saudis were, and he was kind of taken aback that, um, you know, I would even suggest that the Saudi should defend themselves. I made a Quip, which, you know, I think, um, you know, drew, uh, drew a lot of flack from it, but I said, we sell them the weapons. Do we have to pull the trigger for them as well? Um, so, you know, I'm certainly not concerned, Dana Lewis - Host: (26:34) Uranian missile assault on a oil infrastructure in Saudi Arabia, but then there have been many other, what, what else could Iran do? I mean, what, what are the targets terms of Israeli, uh, targets, uh, American targets abroad? What do they have? What are they capable of? Colin Clarke - Soufan: (26:51) People have a lot look through Lebanese has Bola. They have global reach. We've seen, has Bola, uh, Stripe, you know, all over the world in Latin America and elsewhere. Um, there's been plots that have been disrupted, uh, in Georgia and India and Thailand. We've seen the bus bottling in Bulgaria. So I have no, um, no doubt that the Iranians are capable of responding. The question becomes how wise is it? Uh, you know, the Israelis are more than capable of taking care of themselves. Uh, and I just don't think getting into a kind of tit for tat conflict with Israel right now, um, you know, the Israelis have, have shown what they're capable of doing. Um, and, and, you know, they don't really feel compelled to hold back. So it would be unwise on the part of Iran, um, to, um, to respond in full force. But what I will say is Iran is kind of the master of walking right up to the line without crossing it, these kinds of nibbling attacks, you know, around the edges. And for that they they'd likely use proxies whether, you know, Shia militia in Iraq, um, or Lebanese Hezbollah or another kind of Iranian prophecy. Dana Lewis - Host: (27:56) And I guess the big question for the Biden administration now is can they easily reenter this agreement with Iran? Um, because a lot of things have happened on the ground. And in fact, the Iranian, the program has moved, the nuclear program has moved forward. So what is the challenge for a newly elected president Biden to, to try to bring not Iran to heal, but to have some kind of agreement on transparency within their nuclear program and, and to try to get them to step back. Colin Clarke - Soufan: (28:30) It's, it's a real challenge. I mean, it's certainly no fait accompli, as you know, some analysts have described and commentary and various hop takes that. I've read that just because there's a Biden administration means we're going to have an Iran nuclear deal. I think far from it, the region looks quite different than it did even four years ago. Um, you know, some of the alliances, uh, have shifted. So I wouldn't say that it's a certainty, uh, that the us will reenter the deal. And I think, you know, there's a lot that Iran still needs to do, um, including curving its behavior through the proxies that we just talked about, uh, before, you know, we should, you know, just blindly reenter a deal, um, and reward the Iranians. Uh, I just don't think it's smart. Dana Lewis - Host: (29:15) Do you really think that the discussion should be that broad, that, that not only do you talk about their nuclear program, but you start talking about malign activities, you start talking about their missile programs. A lot of people think that that's just becomes unwieldy and impossible in a, in a discussion to come to an agreement that you need to start somewhere and you at least start building blocks on that agreement and the sanctions around it and their nuclear program. Colin Clarke - Soufan: (29:42) I do think it's worth discussing because one, you need to raise the issue that it's unacceptable now, what your expectations are in terms of what you're going to get out of that is totally different. But yeah, I do think it needs to, uh, uh, to be broached. Uh, and I, and I think, you know, it all depends on how you view your own leverage, right? Um, with economic sanctions, that's one of the problems I've had with the Trump administration over the last four years. I've never really gotten a sense of how effective the Trump administration itself believes this maximum pressure campaign has been, uh, because it's been, and I've written about this with, uh, with my colleague Aryan Tabatabaie, we've called it a tautology of sorts because no matter what Iran seems to do, the administration trumpets, uh, you know, the success of the maximum pressure campaign, but then also paints Iran, um, as this, uh, actor that can't be stopped and that's, you know, dominating the middle East. Colin Clarke - Soufan: (30:38) Well, if that's the case, then maximum pressure hasn't worked, right. Uh, if Iran acts out and increases attacks, you know, the administration has said, look, maximum pressure is working. And if the attacks decrease, they say, look, maximum pressure is working. So, uh, you know, I don't know what the administration really believes. I don't know if they do well, it's up to the next administration. Now. It looks like that this contemplation of any kind of military action in Iran, um, th that shadow seems to have passed. Although I wouldn't put anything past a desperate, uh, president Trump right now, but, uh, we'll see what president Biden does in the future then, and whether they can bring them back into some kind of a negotiated settlement. Yeah. I mean, I'll just say, you know, lastly, I think it speaks to the incoherence of, of Trump's strategy in the middle East. Colin Clarke - Soufan: (31:25) If the goal, as you stated before us and endless Wars, he's going to start one right before he leaves office. I think we haven't had a coherent approach to the region. It's been one of transactionalism. Um, and, and so I'm looking forward to a more cogent, uh, you know, pragmatic relationship or, you know, uh, strategy formulation with a Biden administration, with someone like a Jake Sullivan that knows the region. Well, that knows the players that actually works across the aisle and consults with, you know, so-called hardliners within the United States. And so, um, I'm hopeful that, uh, we're, you know, we're able to make progress on that front. Thank you, Colin. Thank you. Dana Lewis - Host: (32:10) And that's our backstory on Iran and the bomb in case you didn't know, as we speak, there is a trial underway in Belgium of an Iranian diplomat and several others believe to be from Iran intelligence network for smuggling explosives into Europe, and then plotting to carry out a bombing of an Iranian opposition group in France. The bomb was handed over at a pizza hut in Luxenberg. The intent prosecutors say was to blow up a rally in France of a prominent opposition group to the Uranian government. Hundreds would have been killed the Uranian diplomat Asadullah Assadi allegedly carried the bomb a little more than a pound of tea, TP, explosives, and a detonator to Vienna from Iran in his luggage on an Austrian airlines flight. He then drove it to Luxembourg in a rented car and handed it over to an Iranian Belgium couple on June 30th, 2018. And it was the Israeli Mossad who tipped off French and Belgium authorities. Iran has denied the plot and said the charges were designed to embarrass Tehran just before president Hassan Rouhani traveled to Europe to rally support for the 2015 nuclear deal. Thanks for listening to backstory, share this link, subscribe to our podcasts, wherever you listen. We're on most major platforms like Apple, Stitcher, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Amazon music, Pandora, Deezer, and many more. If you would like to sponsor this podcast, let us know. I'm Dana Lewis and I'll talk to you again. 

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[xtruss]

Michigan to pay $600 million to victims of Flint contaminated-water crisis

Workers load bottled water into vehicles waiting in line at a water distribution site in Flint in 2018. (Brittany Greeson/The Washington Post)

— By Kayla Ruble | August 20, 2020 | The Washington Post

DETROIT — Michigan will pay $600 million to children and families in Flint who were exposed to dangerous lead-contaminated drinking water in one of the nation's worst public health disasters, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer announced Thursday.

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In a statement, Whitmer (D) apologized to residents for the "uncertainty and troubles" they have endured since 2014 and acknowledged that the healing "will take a long time."

"What happened in Flint should have never happened," she said, "and financial compensation with this settlement is just one of the many ways we can continue to show our support for the city of Flint and its families."

The settlement resolves a lengthy legal battle that began under her Republican predecessor, Rick Snyder, who was among the many public officials accused of ignoring or even denying the crisis in the poor, largely minority city of 95,000. The problems started almost immediately after Flint changed the source of its municipal water supply to save money, and they continued for nearly two years despite residents' increasing complaints and concerns.

Flint’s lead water pipes are being replaced as part of the remediation effort throughout the city. (Paul Sancya/AP)

Under the terms of the agreement, 80 percent of the monetary award will go to residents who were younger than 18 at the time of their exposure. More than half of that amount will go toward the children younger than 6 — whose age put them at greatest risk for lead poisoning and the physical damage and neurological problems that can result.

Between 18,000 and 20,000 children and adolescents lived in Flint during the water crisis, officials have estimated.

“The kids in Flint at every turn have been unnecessarily victimized by the circumstances of their life, poverty, a government that was dishonest with them,” said Corey M. Stern, the lead counsel for plaintiffs in the settlement, which encompasses multiple lawsuits and cases filed against the state.

“This is a crescendo moment,” he added, reflecting on the many obstacles that delayed justice. “To these kids, there’s been a hell of a lot of losses. And I don’t know of many wins . . . [but] this is a big win for them, and it’s beyond the money. It’s what it says.”

The remaining 20 percent of the payments will go to plaintiffs whose lawsuits pertained to other issues, such as property damage and loss of revenue.

Toxic lead, scared parents and simmering anger: A month inside a city without clean water

The deal follows 18 months of negotiations involving four attorneys acting on behalf of Flint residents and businesses, and court-appointed mediators overseen by U.S. District Judge Judith E. Levy. Talks escalated greatly in recent months amid the coronavirus pandemic.

According to Stern, the amounts awarded to each child will vary. The negotiating team constructed a grid with categories of claimants, with each category then broken into empirical levels of harm as determined by blood-lead tests and other data. The final total will depend on the number of children covered; before the announcement, 7,500 had legal representation.

“I do not think every kid should be treated equally, because not every kid is injured equally,” Stern said.

Florlisa Fowler, a mother of three who lives on Flint’s northeast side, learned of the agreement Wednesday evening through conversations and early news reports. As details emerged, some people were excited and energized, others dissatisfied. Fowler found herself on both sides.

“I was like, ‘Well, at least it’s something,’ ” she said Thursday. “And that’s kind of sad that we think that way because we’re worth so much more, but at least it gives some people hope.”

Even amid her skepticism, though, she felt relief. Her daughter was 12 at the time of the crisis, and tests detected lead poisoning. Now 17, the girl has cognitive issues as well as gastrointestinal problems that have been attributed to her lead exposure.

The debacle began when Flint stopped drawing its water from Lake Huron and switched to the Flint River. But state officials failed to ensure that corrosion-control treatments were added to the new water supply. Without them, rust, iron and lead leached from the city’s aging pipes and contaminated the drinking water of homes and businesses.

Residents started complaining of discolored and foul-smelling water and then worse — skin rashes after bathing — but their concerns were largely ignored.

Among some children tested in 2015 at a local hospital, the percentage with lead poisoning doubled after the switch in water sources. In some neighborhoods, it tripled. Rather than prompting immediate action, the test results were questioned, and the pediatrician who tried to highlight them was harshly criticized.

When the city and state finally responded, forced in part by the federal Environmental Protection Agency invoking its emergency powers, a massive effort got underway to distribute bottled water and water filters throughout Flint. Snyder told residents in a State of the State address that “government failed you at the federal, state and local level.”

‘If I could afford to leave, I would.’ In Flint, a water crisis with no end in sight.

Former lawmaker Phil Phelps (D) represented Flint at the height of the disaster and led legislative efforts to secure recovery funding for the city and accountability from state officials. On Thursday, he was struggling with a mix of emotions.

“There is no amount of money that’s going to be able to reverse the damage caused to the mental and physical health of Flint residents,” said Phelps, who worries legal fees will leave many children lacking.

Although officials have declared the crisis over and Flint’s drinking water no longer a health hazard, residents say they have little trust in what comes out of their taps. Most continue to use bottled water.

A criminal investigation by the Michigan attorney general’s office continues. Felony charges initially were filed against more than half a dozen local and state officials, but last year those were dismissed and the probe restarted.

Thursday’s announcement is just one facet of the city’s recovery. Since 2015, Flint has received tens of millions of dollars in state and federal funding to repair its devastated water system. More than 25,000 lead service lines have been removed and replaced to date. Roughly 5,000 more lines still need to be dug up.

And in her statement, Whitmer touted additional programs and aid. The state’s current budget allocated $120 million to water infrastructure investments aimed at cleaning up the city’s drinking water, and the upcoming budget will direct millions more to support various programs, including nutrition, health care and early childhood services.

Yet the financial settlement comes at a particularly timely moment as the country grapples with the impacts of systemic racism, exposed not just by the coronavirus pandemic but by the deaths of George Floyd and other African Americans during encounters with police.

“Flint is everything that people are out protesting about,” said Stern, who represents some 2,600 young plaintiffs there. “Flint is a microcosm of what our most underserved communities look like, and one of the reasons why the crisis reached the level it did was because people weren’t listening to the voices of those in Flint.”

Melissa Mays, a mother who became one of the most outspoken in demanding state compensation for the community, is feeling a measure of vindication.

“Today is day 2,309 since they switched our water and took away our clean water,” she noted Thursday. “So it’s a very, very long fight, and we have to keep telling ourselves we matter. This is what’s right.”

[thechasefiles]

The Chase Files Daily Newscap 9/13/2019

Good Morning #realdreamchasers. Here is your daily news cap for Friday, September 13th, 2019. There is a lot to read and digest so take your time. Remember you can read full articles via Barbados Today (BT), or by purchasing a Weekend Nation Newspaper (WN).

PROJECT DELAYS WORRY MONITORING COMMITTEE –BERT is staying ahead of the curve.The special monitoring committee of the Barbados Economic and Recovery Transformation (BERT) programme is still concerned about the delay of a number of projects that were intended to boost the economy. During a press conference held at Solidarity House yesterday, co-chair of the committee, Toni Moore, said the group would be paying special attention to those projects, and the effect any further delay could have on overall growth. There have been delays in the Sandals Beaches, Sam Lord’s Castle, Blue Horizon and Hyatt Centric Hotel projects. Moore, the general secretary of the Barbados Workers’ Union, said the group was otherwise extremely satisfied Barbados had met all targets for the period April to June, as set by the International Monetary Fund (IMF). Yesterday’s report, the third by the monitoring committee, showed the country’s foreign reserves were a healthy $938 million, way ahead of a target of $893 million. In addition, Government’s primary balance stood at $253 million, yards ahead of a proposed target of $125 million, while this administration had only spent $88 million on transfers to public institutions, way below the $104 million allowed, and the arrears of public institutions stood at $185 million, leaving plenty of wiggle room from a target of $284 million.(WN)

BUSINESS LEADERS NOW RUN CBC –In an apparent shift in corporate direction at state broadcaster CBC, two business figures have replaced former CBC broadcasters as chairman and deputy at the helm of a new board.David Leacock, scion of business pioneer Leo Leacock is the new chairman, appointed by the Minister for CBC Senator Lucille Moe, Minister of Information, Broadcasting and Public Affairs. Leacock, senior director in the Leacock family group of businesses, succeeds Melba Smith, a former CBC general manager who returned to the corporation as chairman in June 2018, after the Labour Party’s election victory. Smith lasted just a year of her three-year term, resigning last June. The new deputy is Sharon Christie, a Certified Management Accountant, and CEO of the Kensington Court Group, a distributor of food, frozen products, and office equipment. Christie replaces Sharon Marshall, a former director of news and current affairs and television news anchor, resigned as deputy chair in July. Leacock and Christie’s appointments took effect on Tuesday. The other members of the board appointed by Senator Moe are Sonia Mullins, Peter Boyce, Brian Clarke, Government Senator Dr. Crystal Haynes, Lee Rose, and Paulette Royer. Chief Telecommunications Officer Clifford Bostic and Sandra Phillips, Permanent Secretary in the Ministry of Information, Broadcasting and Public Affairs are the Government’s official representatives on the board.(BT)

FOUL PLAY –With tensions rising among dissatisfied workers at the Grantley Adams International Airport over not being given the five per cent pay increase accorded to public workers last year, the National Union of Public Workers (NUPW) has requested an urgent meeting with the airport management in an attempt to have the matter settled. This morning, Deputy General Secretary of the NUPW Wayne Waldron revealed that his members were becoming increasingly restless and that both sides needed to get back to the bargaining table soon before things escalated. “We made the request last week and we are anxiously waiting for a response. The workers are in a bad mood and they are at the stage where they feel that they will demonstrate how they feel. They are really being frustrated but I can’t tell you they are going to strike tomorrow or next week. What I can say is that they are at that breaking point,” said Waldron, confirming earlier reports by Barbados TODAY that the workers were considering industrial action. Last month one source close to the development explained that while the workers are under a statutory arrangement, to the best of their knowledge, all employees of Government-owned entities are entitled to the increase, yet they have been “unfairly omitted”. However, a credible source explained that GAIA Inc is not a statutory corporation but rather a company constituted under the Company’s Act, which happens to be owned by Government. In addition, it was revealed that airport workers have received several increases within the last ten years, during a period when public servants received no pay hikes. It was also noted that given the airport’s plans to privatize its operations, workers were already asked to “hold strain” until that process is completed. “Within the last ten years, workers at the airport have received 21 per cent increase, during a period that the public service was not given any. So, you can’t have a case where you are getting increases when government workers are not and then demanding the increase when they are,” the source said. However, this morning Waldron contended that persons were conflating the two issues and in fact, any increases that the workers have received were monies owed them for a long time before. “People don’t understand the history and apparently somebody is of the notion that they [GAIA workers] have gotten more than the public service. But they only got what was owed to them and because the airport was late in adjusting the amounts over the years, the impression is that they got something extra. It is simply a lagging process but somebody is not understanding and came up with this idea now that they don’t deserve the five per cent increase,” he said.Waldron further argued that the GAIA administration is conveniently using the company argument, as over the years airport workers were never allowed to negotiate separately from Government workers. “When we tried in the earlier years to negotiate separately from the public service, which would justify even higher increases, they always tell you that you can’t give the airport workers more than what the government workers were being offered, although it is a company. Now they want to change it and say they don’t want to deal with what the Government is offering. So they are moving the goal post all of the time. When the company is making a big profit, they don’t want to pay increases above Government and when things are now tight, they want to constrain the worker,” said the NUPW spokesman. He further stressed, “They are discriminating against these poor airport workers. When you compare the salary of an engineer at the airport to one at the Ministry of Transport and Works (MTW), the one at MTW is better paid. It is discrimination pure and simple.”(BT)

WATER EASE – As the country continues to battle a severe drought, the Barbados Water Authority (BWA) has turned to Ionics Freshwater Limited to increase its water pumping capacity by 50 per cent. Additionally, Minister of Energy and Water Resources Wilfred Abrahams today revealed that a new pumping station has been commissioned in St James to help carry water to the dry taps of Barbadians in the northern parishes.During a press conference at his Country Road, St Michael headquarters this morning, Abrahams admitted that the BWA was grappling with drought conditions, which have led to several water outages across the island. And with a forecast for lower than average rainfall for the remainder of the year, the Minister disclosed that the prohibition period which was scheduled to end next month had now been extended to November 30. He acknowledged that the island-wide water outages being experienced were as a result of aging infrastructure, a lack of maintenance and the prolonged drought, which had served to form an “a perfect storm”. Abrahams said he was especially disheartened to hear about the complaints from Barbadians regarding the regular outages and the level of discomfort they were causing. He revealed that the state-owned entity had joined forces with Ionics to help provide a better service to households. “To address the water issues and the water shortages we have had to commission some more water from Ionics’ desalination plant. So Ionics is now supplying an increased amount of water into our system,” Abrahams said. “This started a couple of months ago, but it is not a matter of simply flicking a switch. Infrastructure had to be put in place to get the water from Ionics to where it needs to go. We had to change certain valves, we had to employ and install certain pumps [and] we had to upgrade pumping stations. “If Ionics down Spring Garden produces twice as much water as it produces that is all well and good, but that water needs to get from Ionics at Spring Garden into the same reservoirs that are being affected and then on to the customers,” the minister added. Dr. John Mwanza, the technical advisor to the Board, said Ionics was contracted last May. He said while the existing plant capacity was 27 000 cubic metres per day, or around six million gallons a day.“[Capacity] has been expanded by an additional 50 per cent so we’re getting an additional three million gallons,” Dr. Mwanza revealed. Minister Abrahams said the newly commissioned pumping station at Trents, St James would help in pumping some of that water to several communities including Kewland, Redman’s Village, Melrose, and Welches in St Thomas; White Hill and Mose Bottom in St Andrew and Chimborazo, Lammings Housing Area, Braggs Hill, Sugar Hill and Spa Hill in St Joseph. However, he warned the BWA was expecting bursts with the increased water being pumped through aging pipes. “This station will improve the volume of water flowing to the taps of residents along Highway 2A…Now we are commissioning this today, this is at the end of a long period of installation and testing and retesting and trying to balance so from today that water is going to go in the system with the intent of alleviating the areas I just mentioned. “I just want to warn the public [that] if you start to send more water down old pipes, the pipes are going to burst. We expect that we are going to have some bursts in the initial phases as we try to rebalance the water,” Abrahams said. He also disclosed that four new pumps would be made available to handle the added capacity. At the press conference, the minister also gave his assurance that the BWA’s Customer Service department would be improved. Abrahams said it had been brought to his attention that some persons had received shoddy treatment from the BWA’s customer service personnel as they sought to report complaints. He said a four-hour meeting was held yesterday to address the issue and he was confident persons calling into the BWA would see improved customer service.(BT)

CLEANING STARTS AT SHERATON – Less than 24 hours after being shut down by the Ministry of Health officials, the food court at Sheraton Mall was abuzz with activity. But instead of a busy flow of patrons purchasing food at lunchtime, employees and hired workmen were hard at work as the first day of a mass industrial cleaning exercise got underway. Food stalls in some cases were totally disassembled, cleaning agents were all over the food court and the restaurant apparatus was out of place. General Manager of the mall, Kelly Stoute declined to comment on the developments or to provide more clarity on the nature of health issues or indicate when the mall’s food court would be reopened. In addition, Barbados TODAY was informed by management that media workers would not be allowed inside the food court. Health officials have also been silent on the matter since Wednesday and Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Kenneth George directed Barbados TODAY to a press release issued today. The decision to close the popular food court was reportedly taken in response to mounting violations that mall management had left unattended after continuous environmental checks by the Environmental Health Division since September 4.(BT)

DOUBLE DIVIDE –Two vendors who ply their trade at the Parkinson Memorial Secondary School have protested the Board of Management’s decision to erect a double perimeter fence, claiming it separates them from less-well-off students. Grace Lovell, who told Barbados TODAY she has been selling snacks and beverages to the student body for eight years, claimed that the students who do not have the means to buy from the school canteen turn to her for their lunch. She said: “Some children come to school with $10 to pay bus fare and still buy something to eat. “So, the canteen provides a service for the children, but they are too expensive.“They are only looking at one side of the story, probably about getting rent or whatever the case may be, but every time we come to sell at lunch they put up a double fence, as you can see. “The children complain and they go to the headmaster and complain about the prices. “So, when we come they do not want us out here at lunchtime, but you still have to look at the children.” Lovell said that she sometimes provides free meals to students who do not have the means. She said: “I gave a child breakfast and lunch for a whole term which is three months. “Sometimes they come to me for bus fare, they want something they are short of money. “So, you have to look at the average child, a poor child because every parent [does] not have money to give a child to pay for that lunch which is $15 or $11. You can get a doughnut for $2 and a drink for $1.50.” The vendor said she discussed the matter with the board chairman. Despite having to ply her trade outside the compound, she boasted of being an insider at the school of 1,000 students. “I had spoken to the chairman. He stopped here last year September and told me he heard about Grace because I donate to the school when they have graduation although I am outside. I do anything and I am not on the inside, I am outside. “I spoke to him and I explained the same situation to him about the students not having enough money to buy lunch. I told him if he put up the double fence if she could [speak] to him because [he had] to look at all the vendors and the canteen and see what the canteen selling and what the other vendors selling and then we could work with something like that.  He did not say anything. “I spoke to him last week when the double fence went up when term started back and he told me you have to look at the person that is in there that is paying the canteen fee and have the contract; and furthermore, the persons that inside may have to come out and he was not interested. “So, you would have to do what you got to do when you have children and bills.” But Lovell said she will follow the school’s wishes not to sell at lunchtime. She said: “I sell on mornings and evenings, but it is the lunchtime period that I would not be able to sell because they have up the double fence.” The other vendor declined to be named but joined Lovell’s comments and said she even offered to pay the school to sell on the premises. She said: “I offered to go and pay them a little something to be in there and they still did not agree with that. They never got back to me, they never said anything.” I am willing to pay something, donate to a club, a game – netball, anything – [to] no [avail].” The vendor, who told Barbados TODAY she has been plying her trade at Parkinson since 2000, also claimed she provides free lunches to disadvantaged students at the Pine high school. She said she should be allowed inside the school to sell meals, snacks and drinks to the student body. She, too, said she would follow the school’s request not to sell anything at lunchtime. But she added: “If we have to keep running around so all the time what sense does it make? We should be inside everyone can make a living. “The canteen cannot provide for 1,000 and some children in an hour, it is a waste of time.” Parkinson Memorial Principal Ian Holder gave Barbados TODAY a tour of the double fence around the school compound but declined further comment.(BT)

BASELESS – Wild and silly imaginations. That is how Minister of Agriculture and Food Security Indar Weir has described concerns by the Democratic Labour Party that acres of plantation lands formerly owned by defunct insurance company CLICO, would be sold as residential property by Government. In fact, the Agriculture Minister has said, that those lands and many others would be dedicated to agricultural development as Government attempted to reverse ten years of DLP “inactivity” in the vital sector. “I don’t know how you could turn agricultural land into a [residential] development without first involving the Ministry of Agriculture. We have a Chief Agricultural Officer who is highly trained and makes informed decisions on these things before they even reach Town Planning,” Weir told Starcom Network’s Down to Brass Tacks’ Wednesday programme.    “If the information is being skewed in any way that the CLICO land is being sold and people are going to subdivide them and all of that, I think the conversation is way ahead of what it should be, because the worst thing we would want to do as a people is to make wild and silly imaginations and come to conclusions on things on which we have no basis.” On Wednesday, the DLP’s spokesperson on agriculture Andre Worrell expressed “deep concern” about the recent announcement that the lands could be used for infrastructural development at a time when the country desperately needed to reduce its food import bill. “We are urging the Government to have some discussion and to be open and transparent with the people of Barbados on their plans for the CLICO plantation lands in St John, St George, Christ Church, and other areas. We are urging farmers not to sit idly by and let these lands be sold,” he said. In response, the Minister noted he was always keen to engage the public but did not have an ‘appetite’ for people who “have a belief and are attempting to turning it into reality”. Instead, he declared Government was preparing to revive lands which are currently growing ‘river tamarinds’ in the Belle, St. Michael, Harrison’s Point in St. Lucy and the Scotland District to significantly improve the bounty of the sugar industry and other crops. “I am simply giving the calm assurance that we are doing everything we can to bring the lands under the BAMC under production. We are also working with the private farmers… of every single type and class, so that when we look to bring back agriculture to its rightful place in Barbados, we will have a situation where all of those lands that are currently growing river tamarinds will be back into production and the process is starting this month,” Weir declared. “We are starting by cleaning up Harrison’s Point and going to the Belle where we are going to remove those river tamarinds and put it at Port Vale Factory to be used as burning stock when the factory is grinding during next year’s sugar harvest and we are planning to start the crop on time next year.” He stressed that part of reviving sugarcane production would coincide with the restoration of eddoes and increases in yams and sweet potatoes. “I am trying to reverse this whole ten years of inactivity and inertia and only God knows how I feel about having to say this, but it is the reality. This isn’t one, two or three years of work. This will equally take us all of ten to 15 years,” Weir said.(BT)

CHARACTER CERTS HINDERING JOBS – The closure of the Police Certificate of Character Office is causing headaches for several Barbadians, in some cases hindering them from finding work. And what is adding to their woes is that no one seems to know when it will be reopenedCruising Island Musicians is contemplating its next move after being unable to get the certificate for ten musicians.Stephen Cox, one of the managing partners, said the company recruited musicians from all over the world to work on cruise ships.“Currently, I have ten crew members from Barbados who have been offered contracts to work on board cruise ships to start in three weeks. They made the appointments, which were confirmed, and they went, only to be told that the Police Certificate of Character Office is closed until further notice,” he said. When contacted on Tuesday, Assistant Commissioner of Police Richard Boyce said they were encountering system problems, but were working assiduously to have them rectified as soon as possible. He asked the public to bear with them.“Everything has gone computerised now, so we’re working on everything. One thing leads into the next; it is not a one-off operation you have to do. It is a holistic operation that involves different steps. Even if you try to correct one [issue], another step has to go which is not functioning correctly; so that is the problem. We hope to get it resolved any minute now,” he said.(WN)

TWO CHARGED –Two St Andrew men have been remanded in connection with this island’s latest murder as well as a number of other criminal charges. They are 24-year-old Kevin Andrew Haynes, of Jordan Road, Belleplaine and 20-year-old Nathan Anthony Gaskin of Walkers.The two are accused of murdering 22-year-old Rahim Ward between August 23 and 30 as well as causing serious bodily harm to 21-year-old Deshawn Ricardo Clarke on August 23 while at Walkers, St Andrew. Haynes and Clarke are also facing charges of possession, possession with intent to supply, possession with intent to traffic and cultivation of 76 cannabis plants on August 24. The accused appeared before Magistrate Ian Weekes in the District ‘D’ Magistrates’ Court today where they were not required to plead to the indictable charges. They will make their next court appearance on October 9. (BT)

SENTENCED REDUCED – The Court of Appeal on Wednesday set aside a 15-year sentence imposed by the High Court on manslayer Toneal Omar Walrond for the death of 60-year-old Evans Burnham. Burnham, formerly of Black Bess, St Peter died at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital on July 8, 2011, following an altercation in which he sustained a fractured skull and other injuries after being hit in the face several times with a piece of wood. Walrond, of French Village, St Peter was charged with the murder which is said to have occurred sometime between July 1 and July 8, 2011. In February 2016 he pleaded guilty to the lesser charge of manslaughter. In June 2017, using a starting point of 20 years, Walrond was sentenced by Madam Justice Michelle Weekes to 15 years in prison. However, after being credited with the five years 334 days spent on remand prior to sentencing, he was ordered incarcerated for another nine years and 21 days. Through his legal counsel Marlon Gordon who appeared with attorney-at-law Kashka Mottley, the manslayer appealed his sentence on the basis that it was excessive. In handing down a decision this morning in the No. 1 Supreme Court, Acting Appeal Court judge, Madam Justice Margaret Reifer said while the three-member panel who heard the appeal is of the view that the sentencing judge took into account the relevant principles and facts, “We are nonetheless in agreement with counsel for the appellant, that all the circumstances of the facts of the case were more in line with a starting point of 15 years.” Outlining reasons for the decision the judge stated that the mitigating features of the case “dominated” the aggravating factors. She pointed to early guilty pleas which she explained are in the public’s interest since they avoid the need for a trial and save victims, witnesses and often family of the victim, from having to give evidence of “often traumatic events or from reliving the events” and achieving closure. “The appellant’s early guilty plea, co-operation with the police, sincere expressions of remorse, the acceptance by the court and the parties that there was no evidence of planning or premeditation, the fact that the appellant was not armed with a firearm or intrinsically dangerous weapon, but in the face of aggression by the deceased, armed himself with a piece of wood that he found within reach, provide powerful mitigating factors,” said Justice Refier. The Crown, she said, did not appear to accept self-defense as a complete defence but it was still a consideration in the sentencing. In a statement to police Walrond said he went to Burnham’s home to collect some money. Instead of paying him, Burnham, he said: “Take up a chair and hit me”. The two men then fought and it was during that time that Walrond took up a piece of wood and hit Burnham, “round he faces more than once”. Burnham fell and Walrond said he helped him into the house, got ice from the refrigerator and handed it to him. After that, he said he panicked and left the house by car. “It appears that the Crown accepted on the facts outlined and the analysis of the aggravating and mitigating factors, that the deceased was the aggressor, but their case was, that the force used was disproportionate and excessive,” said the acting Court of Appeal judge who added that the evidence of self-defense even if it was rejected by the jury was still a mitigating factor “There is no evidence that the trial judge considered self-defense as a mitigating factor even if excessive force was used. “It is against the backdrop of all the matters reviewed . . . that we are of the opinion that the sentence was excessive and find a starting point of 15 years more acceptable than one of 20 years. “In view of the premises, the appeal is allowed. The sentence of 15 years imprisonment imposed on the appellant is set aside. The court substitutes a sentence of ten years . . . to run from the date of the original sentence . . . full credit for time spent [on remand] of 2,161 . . . given,” Justice Reifer said as Chief Justice Sir Marston Gibson, Court of Appeal judge Madam Justice Kaye Goodridge and Senior Crown Counsel Olivia Davis, who appeared for the Crown listened on. (BT)

MORE TIME ON REMAND FOR MAN ON GUN CHARGES – The man who allegedly shot through a woman’s bedroom window, at Beckles Avenue, New Orleans, St Michael three weeks ago injuring her in the right hand, has been remanded for a further 28 days. Raheim Colin Forde, of 10th Avenue New Orleans, St Michael appeared before Magistrate Kristie Cuffy-Sargeant today, two days after Chief Magistrate Christopher Birch remanded him to HMP Dodds. The 26-year-old bar owner is alleged to have caused serious bodily harm to Sheron Matthews on August 23 with intent to maim, disfigure or disable her. It is further alleged that on the same day he unlawfully and maliciously engaged in conduct that placed Jumaane Matthews-Ifill in danger of death or serious bodily harm. Forde is also facing charge of using a firearm without a valid licence. He was not required to plead to those indictable charges nor to a charge that he dishonestly assisted in the retention, removal or disposal of a motorcar worth $28,000 belonging to Ross Clarke between December 5 and 12, 2018 knowing or believing it to be stolen. He will make his next appearance before the No. 2 District ‘A’ Magistrates’ Court on October 10. Also appearing in that court on that date before Cuffy-Sargeant is 36-year-old David Omar Norville, also of 10th Avenue New Orleans. He is alleged to have unlawfully assaulted Jumaane Matthews-Ifill on August 23. He has pleaded not guilty to the charge and remains on $1,000 bail. (BT)

BURGLARS PLEAD FOR MERCY – Two St Thomas women who robbed an elderly couple in their home while armed with a piece of wood and a knife have pleaded for leniency in sentencing and even offered to pay thousands of dollars in compensation to the complainants. While attorney-at-law Samuel Legay urged the High Court judge to be as lenient as possible in sentencing his client, Tiffany Cortia Arthur, the convicted burglar’s co-accused Carol Ann Veronica Roett pleaded for the same consideration. Arthur, 34, of Content Land and Roett, 41, of Dunscombe, are currently on remand awaiting their fate on a December 28, 2010, aggravated burglary charge. They had pleaded guilty at a previous sitting in the No. 5 Supreme Court to entering the house of Ian Pickup and stealing a camera, wallet and a handheld video game belonging to him as well as three necklaces, a lighter and two rings belonging to his wife Donna Marie Henderickson. At the time the burglars were armed with a piece of wood and a knife. In making sentencing submissions before Madam Justice Pamela Beckles recently Legay disclosed that his client was a “vulnerable” young lady at the time. He said a statement to police, indicated that her mother had passed and she had been burdened with a funeral expense bill and she also had a young child to take care of. “Not knowing at the time . . . how to deal with this mountainous bill and dealing with her child, she became desperate,” Legay revealed. “I believe that in dealing with issues of death it affects persons differently, and Arthur was no different and she sought, by any means, to get this bill paid,” the defence attorney added. He said her guilty plea and her cooperation with police were in her favor. “Her intention [was] to get this matter over and done with because on reflection, a great mistake had been made. And so as a result of that she became very remorseful, she wanted to apologise to the virtual complainants. “With that background, I want to appeal to the court to be as lenient as possible towards Arthur because I do not see the name Tiffany Arthur synonymous with criminal activities,” Legay told the High Court judge. He further submitted that if it was the position of the court that a custodial sentence should be imposed, “And I am not asking for that, at least, the very least of the sentence would be my humble submission.” Legay put forward a starting point 18 months to two years in prison. “Given the passage time, things have changed. My client has been consistent. She has not gotten herself involved in anything else and therefore I believe she needs to be given that opportunity to remain in that light,” he added. The defence attorney said: “From then up until now the accused has no previous convictions. She has kept herself clean. The accused is not a criminal; this which she did is out of character, but out of bad company back in 2010 she has found herself before this court. Therefore my submission is that the court is very lenient towards her. “I don’t believe Arthur is a criminal,” he said adding that Arthur was willing to pay the complainants $15, 000 in compensation but needed time to pay the amount. Roett, who represented herself, also urged the court to show her leniency saying that she had not been in trouble with the law for over a decade and had a young child. She too submitted that she was willing to pay compensation in the sum of $15,000 if given the time to do so. However, Senior Crown Counsel Olivia Davis told the judge that a starting point for the sentencing of the convicted women should be 16 years. She pointed to the aggravating factors saying that the offence was planned and took place at night while the property stolen was both high in value and sentimental. The prosecutor also reminded the court that substantial force was used during the commission of the offence, which resulted in significant injury to the victim Ian Pickup, and that a weapon was also involved. “This offence has had a negative mental effect on the [elderly] couple. When everything is considered the mitigating factors of Arthur will weigh heavier and result in a lower sentence than the sentence of Roett but the Crown submits that the starting point should be 16 years and the appropriate deductions be made,” Davis stated. The two women will reappear before Justice Beckles on November 21 for sentencing. (BT)

GUYANESE ON INDECENT ASSAULT CHARGE REMANDED – Strong arguments by attorney-at-law Mohia Ma’at that the grounds put forward against bail are “all without merit” were not enough to keep his client from spending 28 days on remand. The submissions, came after Dhanpaul Dudhnauth, a 48-year-old farmer, from Industry Hall, St Philip was not required to enter a plea to the indictable charge that he indecently assaulted a minor. The accused, who is a Guyana native and has been living here for the last 26 years is alleged to have committed the criminal act on May 9. Prosecutor, police constable Victoria Taitt put forward the serious nature of the offence as the main ground for her objections against bail stating that the child allegedly involved was six years old. That minor, she submitted, needed protection from the accused. Constable Taitt added that there was a likelihood that the accused may re-offend if granted bail. However, Ma’at stated that his client was a good candidate for bail as he had never been before the law courts of Barbados and was a father of two. “He has been here since 1992 and has never been charged . . . walks the straight and narrow . . . and as it stands now the allegation before the court is just that, an allegation,” Ma’at told Magistrate Kristie Cuffy-Sargeant. The defence attorney disclosed that Dudhnauth had surrendered himself to the police after getting a phone call. “Yes, it is a serious offence . . . but this matter is in the District ‘A’ jurisdiction and the accused resides deep in St Philip,” said Ma’at who argued that the chances that the two parties would cross paths were unlikely. “The likelihood of any interaction between the minor, father or mother is virtually non-existent given the proximity. He is in the east and she is in the west, so interference is null and void. “The likelihood that he will re-offend has no merit. He has not reoffended, he has been charged. He received immigration status, he would not have gotten that if he had [a record], so that is a testimony to his character,” Ma’at said. “The grounds put forward are all without merit,” the attorney added as he urged to court to grant bail with any conditions it saw fit. That application was denied and the accused was remanded to return before the No. 2 District ‘A’ Magistrates’ Court on October 9.(BT)

POLLARDS CHOICE A BACKWARD MOVE – Fast bowling legend Sir Andy Roberts has questioned the timing of Kieron Pollard’s appointment as white-ball skipper and argues that sacked one-day skipper Jason Holder was not at fault for the West Indies’ wretched one-day form in recent years. In fact, the outspoken Antiguan believes that neither Pollard’s appointment nor the acquisition of a new head coach will have any impact on the Caribbean side’s fortunes, as the fundamental problem lay in the dearth of quality players available.“A captain is only as good right now as the players he has,” Sir Andy told the Mason and Guest radio cricket show. He added: “I have no issues with what they’re (Cricket West Indies) trying to do but I’ve always said that the least problem we have is the coaching, our biggest problem is to find players. “It doesn’t matter who you have as head coach – if you could bring the best head coach in the world today with the players that we have you’ll be getting the same results because the coach does not go on the field.” CWI announced Monday that Pollard would take over from Holder and Twenty20 skipper, Carlos Brathwaite with immediate effect. Also, the regional governing body said it had formally begun the recruitment process for a new permanent head coach, to fill the role currently being performed by ex-West Indies batsman Floyd Reifer on a temporary basis. It was Pollard’s elevation to the ODI captaincy, however, which made the headlines. Age 32, the Trinidadian has not played a single one-dayer in the last three years. Further, he boasts an unflattering batting average of 25 with the bat from 101 ODIs with three hundreds, while taking 50 wickets with his slow medium at nearly 40 runs apiece. “He’s [32]. [When] the next ODI [World Cup] comes around he will be 36, 37. We should be looking to get good players [around 23]. As usual, we’re always looking backward,” Sir Andy pointed out, adding that Pollard should have been given the captaincy five years ago when Holder was appointed. “They should have made him (Holder) understudy to Pollard [back then]. Once they gave him (Holder) the captaincy and they stuck to it, then I don’t see the reason to go back to Kieron Pollard now.” Holder failed to win a single series during his tenure and also oversaw West Indies’ worst-ever showing at a World Cup last July, when the side finished ninth of 10 teams with just two wins. Sir Andy said CWI should have persisted with the 27-year-old Holder but afforded him the benefit of an experienced coaching staff. “What are they basing Jason Holder’s captaincy on? Results or tactics on the field? If we’re going to be building and looking towards the future, I think you should stick with a younger captain who is in there for three, four years,” Sir Andy contended. “What they should have done is give him (Holder) the experience that is required with the coaching staff. That’s what they should have done. Are they blaming Jason’s captaincy for the results we’ve been having? If we don’t have good cricketers, those are the results we’re going to get. It doesn’t matter who is in charge as captain or who’s in charge of coaching. “I think our problem is that we’re not developing good cricketers – there is not enough pressure placed on players for personal development and I’ve been saying that for the last 10, 15 years. If these guys don’t take the opportunity to develop themselves, we are going to be stuck where we are.” (BT)

BOXING LACKS PUNCH – One of this country’s most decorated amateur fighters, Junior Greenidge, says boxing is down and almost out and the Barbados Boxing Association (BBA) has run out of ideas. Greenidge, 39, the winner of a Commonwealth Games bronze medal in Manchester in 2002, told Weekend Sport that boxing was at an all-time low and he is willing to spearhead a revival, but the corporate sector has to come onboard.“Boxing badly needs help and it hurts me to see that little is happening in the sport. I am looking to target the blocks because those boys can be easily trained. I know amateur boxers cannot receive monies but can collect development funding so they can buy their vitamins and gear.“The standard of boxing has sunk and I think someone like me has to play a role in reviving it because I know what it takes to win medals and produce champions,” he said.A passionate Greenidge said that if a facility came to fruition, he could have former world-rated boxers Floyd Mayweather Sr and Roy Jones Jr coming to Barbados as technical advisers to launch the fight programme here.(WN)

WELL DONE – Festival Designer of the Year Kevin Small’s Fifth Element Mas walked away with the lion’s share of prizes at Saturday’s Crop Over Awards Ceremony. The band leader and his team took home nine prizes at the end of the event held at the Daphne Joseph Hackett Theatre, Queen’s Park. The National Cultural Foundation (NCF) presented more than 100 prizes to top performers and contributors of this year’s festival. Band leaders, masqueraders, senior and junior calypsonians, visual artists and volunteers were all recognised for the roles they played in staging a successful festival. Awardees, along with specially invited guests, were treated to an evening reminiscent of the major moments of the season. There were live performances by Junior Monarchs Quon, Shontae and The Mighty Bit Bit; Calypso Monarch Classic, Tune of the Crop winner Leadpipe and a video presentation of Mikey’s winning Soca Monarch performance since he was overseas. Video clips of all major events for the festival starting with the Bajaramas to the climax on Grand Kadooment Day were also shown. Minister of Creative Economy, Culture and Sport John King congratulated the awardees and thanked corporate Barbados for their continued support of the festival. “A celebration of this nature at the end of every season is paramount as we take a moment to acknowledge, reward and laud your commitment to this festival and the aspiring journeys along the roads to success. We applaud you…” he said. Chairman of the NCF Board Glyne Harrison who played on this year’s slogan Crop Over Correct said it was a successful season since there were a number of areas in which they got it “correct”. “By the end of the festival, we were pleased to say we got the buy-in from young to old, saying they were Crop Over Correct … We also got our coverage correct this year and we were able to take our stories and our news to the wider world. It’s something that we need to continue to do because Crop Over is bigger than Barbados,” the chairman said.(BT)

POMP & PAGEANTRY - The Miss Universe Barbados 2019 pageant was awesome! The entire production was flawless, swift and highly professional. At 10:33 p.m. on Saturday night at the Hilton Barbados, a beaming Shanel Ifill was crowned Miss Universe Barbados 2019. The 20-year-old University of the West Indies student won the hearts of both the judges and the crowd to beat a field of eight other delegates. Shanel was impressive throughout the night both in her swimwear and her beautifully designed and fitted evening gown. Her smarts came to the fore as she answered both questions posed to her on the big night. The deciding question asked to the top three contestants was: “What current global situation would you lend your voice to as Miss Universe and why?” Shanel’s response: “There is so much going on in the world right now but I would definitely have to lend my voice to the fires that are happening in the Amazon. Some 26, 000 fires rage on in the Amazon and that is literally 20 per cent of the world’s oxygen system not only decimating the forest itself but there are tribes that live within the forest that has been completely decimated. They are like gone. They can’t be found; it caused genocide on some of the tribes. So I feel as though, for me, that would be where my purpose would lie…” The crowd erupted with cheers and screams of approval both during and by the time she had ende She graced the stage with her presence for the announcement of the winner as the top three contestants stood nervously awaiting the final result. Prior to pageant night, all nine delegates would have been interviewed one on one and those marks would have contributed to the final score. First, runner-up went to Beviny Payne who well-deserved to be in the top three. She looked splendid in her green evening gown as well. Payne is the perfect choice to perform the duties of queen should Ifill be unable to do so. The second runner-up was Hilary Williams who also won the People’s Choice Award.That award was well justified as the crowd clearly loved her. The Top 3 were chosen from a field of a Top 5 which was named earlier in the night after a question-and-answer segment. The other two contestants in the Top 5 were: Alexandra Ortiz and Jeunessa Banfield. Miss Photogenic went to Kristen Asha while Jeunessa Banfield copped Miss Congeniality. The pageant production was nothing short of excellent. There was full use of multi-media throughout the night. Presenter for the night Media Specialist Gaynelle Marshall did a fabulous job keeping things flowing. The Director of Media Relations and PR made comments and smart remarks that were clearly designed to keep the contestants calm and focused. The pageant was held before a packed audience that included Minister of Education, Technological and Vocational Training Santia Bradshaw and other dignitaries. All on the Miss Universe Barbados team, led by National Director Brian Green, should take a bow for what could only be described as a top-notch, world-class show staged on this small rock. (BT)

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