#but we werent really staying there

[sludgeguzzler]

i really love all these aesthetic things ab going back to the late 2000s and early 2010s bc it makes me think about all the good stuff i did as a kid

[sigsfigs]

sorry for no art was too busy MEETING BRENNAN ZAC AND ERIKA????????

[bisexualpussy]

white queer goy will bend over fucking backwards all day trying to explain to me, a Jew, how actually the holocaust was never about Jews at the start. How it was actually rooted in queerphobia and ableism, NOT solely antisemitism. As if the nazis didn't believe that Jews carried "unfavorable traits" and were generally viewed as dirty/subhuman. As if the nazis didn't believe that queerness was an idea introduced and perpetuated by Jews that was now "infecting" the wider populous.

Like shut the fuck up u sound dumb as hell when you say that the holocaust wasn't about Jews because Your Lily White Ass is experiencing oppression for the first time

[sinlizards]

how are you doing?

I'm okay! I havent been posting because well. i haven't had time to draw much aside from things I owe since i started working full time U_U

I work as a florist atm so the past month or so has been a hell storm of valentines day prep but since that just ended I have a bit more time to breath and work on art stuff !

[bitchfitch]

so part of the reason the deal on the kilns was worth breaking a leg for is that there were included in the frankly Absurdly low price. So we're about 50 more we didn't get bc I fell and ~got severely injured~ and we'll be going back for them on Saturday. mostly so I can give the guy "sorry for getting blood on your shed floor and taking two days to get everything" cookies.

The extra extra bonus is that part of the reason this stuff was cheap is the sheer number of mud dauber nests in and on them.

he apologized for it but no, I think they're neat

[puppyeared]

[lavenderedhoney]

Cannot stop thinking about the way she threaded both hands through my hair and then squeezed really fucking tight on the bed last night, just absolutely seized me hard and painfully and held me still on either side of my skull and made me look at her.

She um. She did that the other night while she was shooting a load into me and she was grabbing so fucking hard and she made me meet her eyes and gritted out "take it. Take all of it" while she was pulsing inside me and um.

😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

(DNI if you: are a cishet man, are under 18, do not have your age on your blog, or post ageplay or rape fantasies on your blog)

[iamthepulta]

Honestly, now I know more about Florence and Tuscany, I'm devastated we just came for the day to see Carrara. Carrara was awesome, but I would've loved to see Lucca's paper mills, and Florence is so beautiful with so much history. Even Pisa was more than I expected. Already making plans to come back and just chart out 10 museums and half a dozen hikes to the top of the Alpen range. And just appreciate all the shit Medici money went into!

[zahroreadsthings]

Tidepooling...

Question: What do you do?

Response: Go tidepooling.

Check notes for previous instalments

'Where's a good place to go tidepooling?'

'Around that cliff there.' Lex points to a cliff past the ravine. 'There's an anchor from a wreck too, you can't miss it.'

'Oh, cool. You'd think it would be in the museum.'

'Nah, it's haunted.'

'Wait, what?'

They continue, 'I'll fetch you before the tide comes in. Yell really loudly if you need something.' They turn their attention back to work.

You pick your way around the wet, uneven rocks and stop when you round the cliff. You don't think you've ever felt this alone. The only sounds are the crash of waves, birds calling, and the wind. You shiver.

Part of the cliff next to you has crumbled away and the stones at its base have been smoothed over time. A wave crashes loudly and you jump.

The rock around you is slippery with algae and dotted with tidepools. You see the anchor ahead. You'll take your time walking to it.

You peer into the closest tidepool. Past the anemone you spot little fish darting around and a clam lying next to a little octopus. You look into another one and catch a glimpse of a crab before it scuttles under a rock.

You're about to leave another pool when a mark on the rock catches your eye. You assume it's from a coast witch until you look closer and see it's a heat sigil.

You dip your fingertips in the water. 'Sorry, little guys,' you mutter as fish dart away. The water gets warmer the closer your fingers get to the sigil. You rest them against it for a moment. It's definitely emanating heat.

Was it Deema or a past weather witch? You shake the water off your fingers and sit back on your heels. You remember what Isla said about Deema coming down here. You continue walking, keeping an eye out for other sigils. You see ones of different sizes and some grouped together.

You reach the anchor. It's partially submerged in a pool and covered in rust.

Bonus

I mentioned a couple times in the tags that I'm basing the beach/reef here around wreck beach in victoria australia and so here ^ is the anchor in question. No reports of it being haunted tho lmao, iirc there were no fatalities (but there was another wreck further up that did result in deaths of crew)

[silentalltheseyearsnomore]

In and out of constant crisis... to be expected. Its brutal. SO brutal.

There's a line though, where it is either pain being released and parts processing.. or just retraumatising. And the difference between what makes it one or the other can be so small! And usually to do with if we feel alone or not, connected to S or not, allowed to reach out or not.

Yet we are seeing we survive each time? And it passes. Same with S... we reconnect each time. She doesn't leave.

Today we made a huge leap! An email she sent landed badly. A part wrote a reply, not meanly at all (we never do that and are proud of our ability to communicate these days), but saying how it felt and how upset. But we didn't send... because we knew it wouldn't help. Its how they felt and it was real and valid. But she'd likely feel more defeated and stressed, then we'd feel more disconnected, and the same old cycle. (Also, we figured even IF it was intended how it felt.. we no longer beg for people to understand or care, and that has to be true for her too.) So we didn't send, and instead chose to trust our overall relationship instead of these moments and details.. and just turn up today as unguarded as humanly possible. Which was still hugely guarded lol.

It was SO hard to do. But I am so proud of us. And it went so well. It allowed us both to connect so much quicker and easier and see we are on the same side. We didn't hug her straight away like normal and just hid ourselves not looking at her, but as she started talking and we could hear there weren't bad intentions, we managed to lift a finger up and she reached for it and held our hand. And we were SO proud of us in that moment. It doesn't seem big. But for us it is huge. To be able to reach for connection without going through every detail of what hurt, ask a lot of questions, pick it all through, stay in defense... instead we just listened to how it felt right in that moment. And it allowed us to connect quicker. We made a new choice and it paid off.

She made a comment about us seeming to not want to be there, possibly hating her (kind of jokingly) and we realised that's how it may seem.. like to us it is OBVIOUS we never hate her, always want her. But then to her it is obvious how much she cares etc, and that doesn't mean we always see it. It softened so many protective parts and we looked up and we both smiled and we said of course we don't. It's just all painful. But the pain isn't from her, it's everything before her. And then cuddled in to her. It was so simple in that moment. We are on the same side.

And the whole session was so connecting and simple. Despite the fact we never talked through what happened earlier in the week really.. and despite it being one of the last sessions. It was just simple. The ending of therapy is terrifying but also helping us let go of details and see the big picture. She's SO on our side. We aren't on opposite sides. She's fighting a whole system for us. She's paying for her specialised supervisor she got just for us, even after we arent a client, to help us both through this transition and to help us fight the system as she's a very high up contact. She is thinking everything about this transition through so she doesnt rush things or make mistakes others did. She cares so much. So yeah, she's not perfect, she misses the mark, and she can't be everything we wish she could. But she is a human who wants us in her life and cares deeply and is fighting to get us the right support. We can get lost in all the pain or we can look at how lucky we are to have her.

[silverislander]

rereading a book i loved in high school to annotate a copy. remembering why it connected w me so much

[beegswaz]

cast party was 😭😭

[samsrosary]

i miss him so much

[3boodr]

bluey gives me like. So many emotions because I only had like. Three channels in the hospital I was stuck in for twenty eight hours. I could barely sleep. All that was on was teen titans go usually, miraclous lady bug, and if I was lucky, bluey. It felt like. A bright light in the darkest tunnel. Such bright colors. Such vibrant music. Cute moments. When everything felt like it was [redacted], it made me feel like I was at the beginning. <-starting to not make sense

[justtogetthrough]

Look I know humans need to be individually strong and able to function independently etc and stuff but also humans evolved to be in groups too and I don't have a group, I've spent 95% of my life without a group, and I just so desperately want someone to be as attached to me as I am to them. I have spent my whole life lonely by myself on the outside looking in and I don't want to be here anymore. I've experienced what it felt like to be inside a group now and this loneliness feels even worse now that I know what it felt like to belong.

[bbunnybirdd]

i kind of feel like deleting my instagram but on another hand that's like the last window i have left to somewhat see what my old school friends are up to