#but what you gotta understand is that i'm fully gonna judge you for that

[be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie]

If i have time once i dfinish w my tests, ill try turning this into a fic--

An actual, legal custody battle between the Sullys and Quaritch, who would win?

The Sullys have a history with Child neglect. A good lawyer could make a case for verbal and emotional abuse from Neytiri, as well as physical, if the cut from the ship comes into play (also p sure she tries to attack him multiple times in the comics). You could argue that they can't provide a safe environment for him, and they could use his lack of schooling against them.

Quaritch definitely engaged in some physical abuse, with the whole 'pointing a gun at him, kidnapping him, bringing him to be tortured' thing. However, a very good lawyer could argue that it was his right, as Spiders bio dad, to bring him home, as the Sullys nor anyone else went through the legal human (or na'vi) trouble of adopting him.

And on top of that, if they reviewed the actual torture video of Spider (p sure they got security cams) it would look like Quaritch never actively partook in the torture, and was even the one who stopped it when it became clear that Spider was at risk of serious injury (nose bleeding in a mind tearing machine means bad news, methinks) (I'd think he'd start having some kind of stroke?) Then theres the whole "provide better schooling, housing etc etc".

The Sullies lawyer could argue that Quaritch is the reason he was tortured, and that he held him hostage for months. Could argue that he was putting him in danger by bringing him on that ship (Jake "brings his kids to the battlefield" Jake has no rral leg to stand on) (i mean, cmon, Lo'ak is 14!!! Make him help the wounded or smth)

I think a proper custody battle fic would be cool, so I'm really mad that I have to write it

>:(((

This is the third legal battle on Pandora ask I've gotten. Don't take my response personally and please do what you wish, these are just my opinions and thoughts, as I've really been stewing on it. You know I'm all about the implications of things, again this is not at all at you or the other anon you just got me thinking.

I gotta be honest, this premise does not do it for me at all. I don't vibe with the legal system applying to the Na'vi, first of all. They are not US citizens, they are not even on Earth. Applying a legal system to them that they have no knowledge of and have no reason to follow is another aspect of colonization and genocide that is a huge issue still today. Applying our standards and morals to other communities is wrong. The legal system in the US and Canada has a huge problem of taking indigenous children from the indigenous community and placing them with white families today. Eradicating future cultural generations is a genocidal tactic. This is not the same as the situation with Spider, but a legal battle with the Na'vi over a child has those echos to me. There are only the laws of Eywa on Pandora, why should they be judged on arbitrary rules that apply on Earth? I don't understand it; it has such a colonialist mindset. There is no way to even enforce a ruling, the Na'vi don't have courts and therefore the jury would be human and heavily biased, and there isn't a judge and they would also be biased if there was. Even Spider does not know or follow the laws of Earth, he is not a US citizen. The Na'vi have not been following proper hunting ordinances, if US law applies the game wardens are gonna have to do a lot of ticketing and fining of the Na'vi's no money to fix that. At the very least it's wrong, at the most it's a slippery slope into US law applying to the Na'vi on Pandora which is a MAJOR colonizing step. We cannot even say that Lo'ak and Neteyam should not be on a battlefield, in Na'vi culture Neteyam is fully an adult member of the clan and we are told Na'vi mature faster than humans. Judging that as putting kids in danger is looking at things from a distinctly western and human perspective, when the Na'vi would likely see Jake as overprotective.

Second of all, I do find the concept of treating Quaritch as an actual viable parent as ludicrous. He is, again, a war criminal who has committed genocide. A great many of his war crimes were committed against Spider?? Arguing that anything Quaritch did was his legal right to bring Spider home is crazy, and also saying Spider wasn't adopted by the Sully's makes neglect not even something they can talk about in court as they weren't his guardians ever. Also saying Quaritch saved Spider from torture is laughable. He put Spider there, everything that happens to Spider in the RDA is entirely Quaritch's fault and responsibility. Taking a civilian war prisoner is a war crime. A child? Double war crimes. If this was a court, which again, I really don't like the idea of the American legal system applying to the Na'vi, Quaritch has a lot more problems them custody arguments. Man is in jail for the rest of his life, he's not getting custody.

[kulturegroupie]

I’m going to be real honest, Jimmy is one of my celeb crushes that I tell no one about. Like when people ask me who my rockstar crush is, I always say Robert plant. I do also have a crush on him, but jimmy’s my favourite tbh. I love the other members but Jimmy is one of my favourite celeb crushes. The reason I don’t tell people he is one of my crushes is because I get worried people are gonna judge me. Because of um…. yeah about the stuff I heard. One thing about me I love these rockstars music and looks, BUT YOU will never see me glorifying the bad things they did. But um yeah I just wanted to say that. I think he’s hot like even if you don’t like him you gotta admit he was very hot, especially 1973 Jimmy AND 1970 Jimmy.

hello anon! this ask made me smile - i was exactly like this a while ago. jimmy has been my fave zeppelin member since day one, and since day one i promised myself i wouldn't tell a soul. i'd never post or talk about him, i even felt ashamed to be listening to his music at the beginning. i loved this artist and his music to an almost visceral extent and i could tell no one. but then... i started understanding that what he did is not my fault, and what i'm supporting and loving are not the bad things he's done but the wonderful art he put out in the world. i hurt for anyone he may have left hurt or traumatised, yet cancel culture makes everything so black and white and, although cancelling extremely problematic celebrities is a positive thing sometimes - as they may set a dangerous example to the public through their actions, which could end up being glorified by some - i just can't fully agree with it.

jimmy is such a beautiful, sweet, talented man, and sadly he's not any worse than the average 70's rock star. although each one of my irl friends thinks he's ugly lol, it's now impossible for me not to name him when i'm asked who my celebrity/rock star crush is.

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 31 Week 6: The Night to Right a Wrong

Hey everyone. We are back and I'm just gonna get into it. I think the show is really clicking and working in all aspects and I am so pleased. Tyra seems to have found out how she should navigate hosting in a way that works for her. She does what she needs to but will allow Alfonso to take over at parts where she knows he's better than her. Michael Buble Night was a lot better than I expected. I also enjoyed how much like classic DWTS this particular night felt. Derek and Michael's performance of his new song was *chef's kiss* so good. I'll get more into that a little later. Also, I will explain this title when we get to the elimination. Having Michael give scores was a little much, but it was fine I guess. He wasn't the worst guest judge we've ever had. So we move!

Shangela and Gleb- Tango (Score=45)- I thought this was Shangela's best dance to date. Her feet are a lot more improved. Her frame has also gotten a lot better. Of course, we all know she can perform. She still has a few smaller things to work out with her frame and her feet kinda get stuck every now and then. But I see so much improvement in her and Gleb has been so much fun to watch this season. She brings out the best in him personality wise and pro wise.

Trevor and Emma- Foxtrot (Score=42)- I think this was Trevor's best dance to date. The 9s were kind, but I see definite improvement. A lot of that has to do with his level of comfortability with dancing increasing as well as his confidence in general being better. His frame still needs work. He tends to stick his butt out. And he was kinda skippy throughout the dance when the foxtrot should be very smooth, almost like they're skating on ice.

Gabby and Val- Rumba (Score=46)- Idk where the 10 for this came from. It was fine and I'm glad that she has finally become more stable on her legs (there are still issues every now and then). But I think her arm placement was weird and not super fluid at times. And her hip action, while there, wasn't grounded. So it made the dance look forced. It was a good dance and I see improvement from her, but yeah. It wasn't my favorite.

Vinny and Koko- Cha-cha (Score=36)- So Vinny absolutely struggled the first half of the dance. I guess he made a mistake that I missed very early on. You could visibly see him start to panic and count out the steps to try and get himself back on track. He ended up doing it and the second half was much better. I'm surprised we didn't see at least a 6 from Len. I was fully expecting it and think that the dance deserved it. And I love Vinny, but I gotta be real. I felt bad though because he got so down on himself. He clearly had performed that much better in the past. That being said, I want Koko to bring in someone from the outside to really look at Vinny's feet (and legs) to see if they can maybe get him to better understand how to keep his energy all the way through his toes. He is very flat footed and his legs just lack the crispness that I want. His upper body is fine for the most part (it could use work but his lower body needs to be the focus). It's not a knock on Koko at all. She's been fantastic. But another set of eyes could definitely help pinpoint and try to fix that problem.

Jordin and Brandon- Foxtrot (Score=43)- To me, this was very clearly Jordin's best dance to date. The way she started, I saw all the confidence just beaming from her. Her technique was the best I've ever seen. She didn't go wrong at all. And I have to shoutout Brandon because I feel like this has been his best season as a teacher. I think they should've gotten straight 9s. There needs to be a little more work on the frame, but it was a bit of a showstopper, I must say.

Charli and Mark- Foxtrot (Score=50)- So to get the obvious out the way, this was the best dance of the season and the best dance I've seen in a long time. Now, let me get into what I really enjoyed about this dance. It really took me back to DWTS, before season 18. I really felt like the dances were able to speak for themselves. It felt like an old school DWTS perfect. And imo, it was much more difficult to get a perfect score back then (even to get straight 9s) than it is during current DWTS times. So it is nice to see a dance of that quality without so much of the overly produced dances with the bells, whistles, props and other things that tend to really bog down the dances in my opinion.

Heidi and Artem- Samba (Score=46)- I don't think this was as good as the judges made it seem. While she did everything mostly well, Heidi is missing a very big thing when she dances that all of the other women have. This is a problem I seem to point out every season with at least one woman, but she lacks impact when she dances. It almost feels like she's just going through the motions. It works in lyrical dances. But in the ones where you need more attack, it just does not fly. That was the biggest issue here. I'm not sure what Artem's style of teaching is, because like Tony, this tends to be a problem with his partners. They dance on top of the floor and I want them to dance through the floor. I was fully expecting to see some 8s because her rumba was quite a bit better than this.

Wayne and Witney- Quickstep (Score=44)- With the week these two had, I'm happy they were even able to put together any sort of coherent routine. Now, it was under rehearsed and there were a lot of mistakes. But we all knew that was gonna happen because they did not start rehearsal until Friday. Things happen. He still performed well and didn't let the fact that he got lost affect what he was doing.

Jessie and Alan- Salsa (Score=41)- While this was her best dance, it wasn't clean at all. Her arms were kinda flailing. The lifts were a bit of a struggle. She just has a roughness about her when she dances. I do think there should've been 7s thrown in. But whatever, they were eliminated.

Daniel and Britt- Foxtrot (Score=43)- I really loved the approach Britt took to teaching this dance. I think it helped Daniel connect some of his moves in ways that he hadn't before. There was huge improvement in that aspect. And I felt like he was more confident in where his feet were. I always get the feeling that he questions if his feet are in the right place at the right time, which gives his dances an unsteady feeling. That wasn't as big of an issue with this one. Now his arms are still slightly off and his shoulder crept up from time to time when they were in hold. But it was their best dance.

Now the bottom 2 were Trevor and Jessie. And I have to say that had that sham of a marathon not happened, this would've absolutely been the bottom 2 last Tuesday. So the judges can save their "last week was so hard, now we have another hard one" thing, because they literally put themselves in that position last week. Like that saying goes, "play stupid games, win stupid prizes". Anyway, Jessie was eliminated this week that was definitely the right decision. Derek, idk what's happening to you. You're clicking, but you're clicking down.

[sometimes-men-need-help-too]

There was a video on Facebook where this guy was reacting to a TikTok video where a woman recounts how she was at Walmart and this father and daughter were in line at the pharmacy. She shows a picture she took of them in the video (and sorry it doesn't look the best, I cropped it because the guy who was reacting had his head in the way and the girl telling the story had hers there as well)

She says it looked odd to her (and says that they were holding hands when they came in). I don't think it's odd at all, honestly. My dad has put his arm around in me before like that. I think it's a normal parent thing to do.

She adds how she started to leave but went back in because she just had a feeling that she needed to help the girl. They were still in line and she says, allegedly, that the girl was giving her hand signals to help. She never elaborates as to what those were so I have no idea what she's referring to. She strikes up a conversation, saying she (the girl) looks around her nieces age and asks her what kind of nail polish she'd like, compliments her on her clothes, etc. The dad is doing the talking for her and then eventually he starts talking to the pharmacist and that's when the woman pulls down her mask to ask if the girl needs help.

She says no "really quietly."

It isn't good enough for the woman so she touches her shoulder and asks again and again the girl says no. At that point, the woman starts walking again and goes to talk to a manager who then goes to the pharmacist to confirm that was he guardian. The dad then ends up confronting the woman and eventually storms off

--

I want to say first and foremost that it's difficult to judge the situation fully without being there. I can't see what she's seeing. However, I don't necessarily think that this particular situation was sex trafficking. I don't get that impression.

- the hand holding/picture

This was so weird to me. I don't really understand why it struck her as odd they were holding hands. Parents do that with their kids. It's not a big deal. And some kids end up doing it for a bit longer than others. I don't know how old the girl is, maybe 10-12? But it's nothing that stands out to me

- Talking for her

Again, that's not concerning or anything to me. Maybe the dad was suspicious of her?

I mean, imagine you're with your kid at the store and some stranger suddenly approaches and starts taking to your kid. You're probably gonna be suspicious and the girl was likely brought up not to talk to strangers

I can say that had this happened to me (or my brother) around her age, my dad would have 💯% done that

- her being super quiet, allegedly not wanting him to hear her response

Was this her not wanting him to hear or was she shy?

I've always been very shy. It was worse when I was a kid. If I was talking to someone I didn't know (or even with people I did know), I would avoid eye contact, I'd fidget, speak really softly.

I don't know, maybe she's the same way? And another thing, don't touch strangers like that. Just don't.

- her approaching them in general

This is a serious accusation. You gotta be more sure than, oh well she's holding his hand and oh he's speaking for her...yes, not being allowed to do any talking is a sign but you also have to also take in body language and such.

I'm also fairly sure, could be wrong though, you're not supposed to confront someone like that because if it is a true human trafficking then you could be putting yourself and the victim in danger.

-Final thoughts

I mean, on one hand I think it's great that she cares and would try to help her because there are people that would just go on and pretend they saw nothing. But...what set her off and made her want to help the girl just didn't set right with me. A father should be able to hold hands with his daughter without it setting off alarm bells.

And I mean, I don't wanna discourage people from trying to help but I guess just judge the situation better

[i-write-under-a-rock]

Next Time

Set in: episode 2 + episode 6

Summery: Bucky and Sam find their happy ending together.

"Why did you give up that shield?" Bucky asked.

"Why are you making such a big deal out of something that has nothing to do with you?!" Sam replied.

Bucky was furious, nothing to do with him?! Steve was his best friend. "because..." He said, trying to find the right words. "Because it was the last thing that was left of him. And he gave it to you!"

"So is it all because he gave the shield to me? Is it all you being jealous?" Sam was screaming at this point.

"What!? No! I'm not jealous! I don't want that shield!" Bucky said, trying to convince Sam, and maybe himself too.

Sam looked at him, now it's too much, he really thinks he's the only one that misses Steve! "So why do you care so much about it!? Why do you think you're the only one hurting!?" Sam yelled.

"Because I love him!" Bucky yelled back without thinking. Bucky's eyes widened, he didn't mean to tell anyone that, especially not Sam.

Sam looked at him, angrier than ever "and you think i don't? we all love him, Bucky. The whole country is mourning".

He's gotta be kidding right?? "no sam. I love him" bucky said, dragging the word 'love' as if it'll give him enough time to run away and avoid this conversation.

Sam looked at him with a puzzled look "I don't think I understand"

Bucky looked at him with sad eyes, almost crying, he really didn't want that conversation, especially not now, especially not with Sam and a random stranger judging him.

"Oh" sam said, finally understanding "I didn't know, I'm sorry"

Bucky looked at the floor, avoiding Sam's eyes "it's okay, nobody did".

Sam was surprised to hear it, he must've told Steve, right?. "you never told him?".

"Never had the chance" bucky said "Back then it was a crime. I wasn't going to risk our lives for this. And now, I don't know, i just never told him.

"Why?" Sam asked.

Bucky was shaking his leg so hard he thought he was going to make a hole in the floor. "i tell myself that i couldn't because i wasn't myself, and that i couldn't because it would've hurt him, and that i didn't have the chance. But i think the real reason is that I was scared" Bucky answerd.

"Scared of what?" Sam asked "Hate?"

Bucky thought for a second, what was he really afraid of all of this time "maybe a little. He said "But i think what i was really scared of was being alone again. I was scared that if I'll tell him and he doesn't like me back, I'll ruin our friendship." Bucky was practically crying at this point. "I'll lose the only person I had and I'll be all alone. Again".

"That's..." Sam said "Tough".

"Yeah, it is." Bucky responded. "But i think i learned my lesson. Next time I'll say what I have to say before it's too late. If there'll be a next time"

"There will be." Sam said. "Im sure of it".

"I hope you're right" Bucky said, still not fully convinced.

"I am" Sam said, with a smile.

"Why are you always so sure you're right" Bucky said.

Sam's smile got wider. "Because im always right".

"Yeah yeah, Whatever" Bucky said, with a chuckle.

..........................................................................................

"Why didn't you use the metal arm?" Sam asked.

"Well, I don't always think of it immediately. Im right handed." Bucky responded. He thought for a second, was he really going to tell him? "Hey Sam" Bucky called "Can we talk?".

"Yeah, what is it?" Sam asked.

Bucky thought for a second, he can still back down. No! he's doing it. "Like, In private?".

Sam looked at him confused. "sure".

They walked to the kitchen, to have a conversation Sam couldn't imagine, and Bucky couldn't stomach.

"What were you gonna say?" Sam asked.

"Hmmm.." Bucky hastated, he can still say something else and avoid this whole thing. "I need to tell you something".

"What is it" Sam asked.

"Well" Bucky said, thinking about all the different countries he could run to after this conversation. "I don't really know how to say it".

"Just say it already" Sam said impatiently.

It's now or never, and how Bucky wished it would be never, but he has to do it, he promised himself. "Well I..." he said, trying to find the right words.

"You're what?" Sam asked, getting more and more impatient by the second.

"Will you shut up for a second!?" Bucky yelled, annoyed with Sam's impatience. "I'm trying to tell you that i think I'm in love with you" he finished, his eyes went wide and he covered his mouth with his hand, he didn't mean to say it like that.

Sam looked at him surprised but calm "you are?" He asked.

"Yeah" Bucky said quietly, thinking he ruined their friendship.

"Well" Sam said, making Bucky's heart miss a beat. "that'll be a first, but I'm willing to give it a go".

"Wait really?" Bucky said in complete disbelief.

"Yeah, why not" sam said.

"Well" Bucky said happily "i told you I learned my lesson, didn't I?"

Sam looked at him and said smugly "and I told you there'll be a next time, didn't I?"

"You're so annoying when you're right" Bucky said.

"And you love me for it" Sam said while laughing.

"Yeah yeah, whatever" bucky said laughing as well.

[silvadraconis]

The Use of a Ghost

A little blurb I wrote of Silva, and dealing with some of the feelings of being a ghost in another's body Silva had been quiet the past few days, barely coming out, hardly even manifesting. During training she was there to lend Guada her power, but after the fact she faded to the background again. Guada tried a few times to talk to her, with not much response beyond an "I’m fine, don't worry about me" She didn't really know what to do anymore. Despite sharing a body, she was the furthest thing from being able to figure out what was wrong.

After about a week of this, Hektor comes to find them in their room, greeting Guada with an easy smile "Hey there you two, don't suppose you got time for this old man do ya?" Silva perks up a small bit from where she resides, nestled away, but doesn't speak "Guada can handle this, I'm not needed for this" Guada answers with a smile of her own "Of course! I'm just hanging out right now, what's up?" He comes in and sits down on the bed next to Guada "Well to be honest with you I was hopin to talk to Silva, had a few questions for her bout some training if that's alright?"

Guadas eyes flash with understanding "So that's why he's here, well, I wish you luck Hektor" She mentally nudges Silva, and reluctantly she uncoils from wherever she laid dormant inside of her, and comes to the surface Guadas hair subtly changes, then ends growing longer and lightning, and her eyes shift to the familiar brown of Silva as she takes over She looks at Hektor, not quite sure what he wanted "So, what questions did you have for me?" Silva notices with a bit of confusion how Guada fades into the back, cutting of herself so she can't hear "That's odd, why would she-"

Hektor looks at her with care and concern plain on his face "Well to be honest with you, I wanted to talk to you in particular. You've been awful quiet lately, and frankly it's startin to worry me a bit. So I wanted to sit you down and just, ask what's wrong, or at least talk to you a bit if you can't get yourself to say it"

Silva blanks for a minute "Oh no this is a trap, nopenopenope time to leave Guada your turn" Smiling at him she says "Hektor im fine, I'm just taking a breather is all, isn't that a normal thing to do?" Meanwhile she's frantically trying to force Guada back to the surface, with not much success, when did she get so good at that? "Silva, this is you we're talkin about, you and breathers are strangers, and even if you were taking one, it's been a quite long time for "just a breather". So don't try to lie to this old man, it wont work. What's wrong, honestly?" She looks down at her hands for a moment Not my hands not mine none of this is mine "It doesn't matter Hektor, I'm just here to help is all, I've been doing that just fine. If you have something to talk about training wise i'll answer your questions but other than that it doesn't matter. I'm just a ghost, it's not like i need to eat, or sleep, or any of that" Hektor sighs a bit with a soft smile at that, then scootches closer suddenly and picks her up and plops her in his lap "H-hey, Hektor what are you-" "Silva, you may be a ghost but that doesn't mean you are just here as a glorified mana battery, you have thoughts and wants and needs too, you're not just a combat accessory" She -not her not her body this isn't mine- freezes in his grasp He softly takes one of her -no guada’s not mine- hands in his "You can feel this yeah? My hand in you twos?" She responds flatly, desperately shoving down her feelings "It's not mine, its Guada’s. This body is hers, these hands are hers, I'm just a parasite who comes with a few benefits" He hugs her at that, fully pulling her into his embrace "You're no parasite, just cause you gotta borrow the body doesn't mean the feelings aren't yours, doesn't mean that you don't have needs and wants just like everyone else" She -whywhy this isn't mine why is it doing this??- shakes in his grasp at that a small bit Those emotions aren't getting put away, in fact they were starting to come full force to the surface despite her best efforts "But i’m-i’m just, it's not mine none of this is mine, it isn't right for me to have this" Why were there tears?  Hektor gently rests his head on top of hers -not hers, guada’s- "Your feelings are yours, you're allowed to want contact, to want food. Doesn't matter if you're a ghost. To be honest that probably means you need those things even morso. You're not a burden, you're our master and our friend, just like Guada. That's all there is to it" She starts crying in earnest now, and despite it being Guada's body, its her cry, its silent, quiet Hektor calmly holds her as she cries, gently holding her hands in his "You're just as much a person as the rest of us master, hell heroic spirits aren't really much more than fancy ghosts. Would you say we shouldn't eat? Shouldn't get a hug every now and then? We technically don't need all that after all, we're here to fight for you both, end of story" She shakes her head in protest "N-no, never but, I’m, it's different" He chuckles a bit, sensing her arguments are starting to lose their steam "Oh really? How so? Cause you don't have your own body? What about Lobo? Him and Hessian share a saint graph after all. Or Orion? He can't even fight without that wife of his" She sighs in frustration, the tears slowly stopping "You know that's not-not the same" He gently runs a thumb across the back of her hand "Well, may not be quite the same, but there's a lot of odd folks here in Chaldea, you're in good company master, that I can assure you" She can't even argue that After a moment she quietly says "I just want to help. I'm already such a trouble to keep track of, for command, for-for Count when I-" she shudders again He hugs her tighter "I can't imagine that being any sort of pleasant. Must be hard coming back from a place like that and feelin like a person again eh?" She shakes in earnest now It's been happening more and more frequently, her falling into that terrible place. And even her usual nightmares were being plagued by that horrid emptiness instead Suddenly she turns and hugs Hektor in earnest, trying to stave off more tears "Its, it shouldn't be, an issue for me I've, I've had worse" He hugs her back tightly "Just cause you've had worse doesn't mean that it isn't awful, that it isn't affecting you. You're not a burden Jade, not by a long shot. No ones gonna judge you for this, and if they even try you got plenty of people who will say something before you can even blink" he chuckles a bit as he hugs her, holding her steady Her name, her name A memento of what she was before She presses her forehead into his chest, choking back emotions "Do I, do I help though? Even with all this am I, am I able to help?" she asks almost desperately, for some reassurance that she's not just something to deal with He sighs a bit, debating on arguing that she doesn't need to help to be allowed to exist, to enjoy life. But she doesn't need that right now "You do, you help, hell you help a lot more than some of us that's for damn sure" he chuckles again then continues in a softer voice "You do Silva, you help, much more than this old man can say" She relaxes against him with a sigh of relief "Thank you Hektor, thank you" He hugs her tightly again for a moment before pulling back, giving her a hair ruffle "Of course master, now why don't we go get somethin to eat eh? I imagine it's been awhile for ya" he says with another chuckle and a warm grin She chuckles against him, then takes a deep breath "Yeah id-id like that" He smiles with a cheeky grin then stands, picking her up with him "Alright then master, lets go get something" "H-hey! Hektor! I can walk!!" He just chuckles as he carries his stubborn master to the cafeteria It wasn't fixed, not by a long shot, but he got her to laugh, at least a little

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: Are you warm enough? Jac: 🧣🤗🧤🤗🧥 Savannah: No but that's a total secret, okay? I can't cope with the others judging me for trying to look nice Jac: I'll never tell Jac: [subtly getting her a blanket or something though, obviously] Jac: no one can come for your look 😍 Savannah: [you know we're snuggling under this blanket together because shameless excuse to be close af] Savannah: oh I see, you're trying to warm me up by making me 😳 it's fine that can be our secret too Jac: [would be so 😳 forreal] Jac: you can blame the 🔥 Savannah: [putting her head on the bae's shoulder like we're not already close enough and doing a little happy sigh] Savannah: but your compliments deserve full credit, anything else would be unfair Jac: [patting her head under the guise of checking out the boujee hat] Jac: your outfit arguably deserves a higher class of event but I'm still glad you're here Savannah: [doing a hat swap because we do so love sharing clothes with the bae and it's amusing as well as a shameless excuse to check her out like hmm what do we think] Savannah: I'm glad I'm here too Jac: It would be weird if you weren't Jac: I'm as close to you as my siblings now Jac: in a different way, obviously but still Savannah: [swapping the hats back because the bae is serving a look and also then we have to fix her hair and make that a moment™ soz Amelia for this blatant flirting you are witnessing rn] Savannah: I feel so at home here, with you Jac: [when you think the bae is perfect so you can't even pretend to sort her hair, so you end up fussing with your own after her like ugh it's so unruly but we're 🥰 and seriously soz have a more or something] Jac: You are Jac: you're always welcome, even when we're celebrating weird non-holiday holidays Savannah: [just giving her all the compliments out loud because we see that fussy and also we don't care who hears us, again soz Amelia and snuggling again] Savannah: I'd make you the same offer in a heartbeat if I felt welcome at my house Jac: [snuggling her extra hard for a hot sec there] Jac: I know, baby Savannah: [likewise and just burying our face in the bae's shoulder fully because emotions and doing a little sad sigh this time] Jac: [doing something to make her happy, probably posting the picture of her for example] Savannah: [giving her all the compliments again because that is a good picture tbh gal you clearly have skills but then because I'm evil I'm gonna say your bf sees it and so you're texting him forever while he's with his friends doing whatever] Jac: [at least you have an excuse to get up, like your other guests lol] Savannah: [just gotta do something extra as she's getting up like take her hand and make her do a little spin or something cos you're a nerd and we know you care more about this than whatever your bf is saying] Jac: don't faint Savannah: catch me & it won't be an issue Jac: I don't need to tell you it's dangerous to play near or with 🔥 Savannah: [as close to a LOOK as we can get away with] Jac: 😈 Savannah: he wants to see me, like, right now Savannah: but I don't think he's offering a higher class of event Jac: 😏 and obviously, you have to make him sweat it out a bit Jac: right? Savannah: all night at least Jac: Poor Ty Savannah: Do you think I'm being too 😈? Jac: not enough, if anything Savannah: oh really, well I hate that Jac: I'm sure it'll do the job on Ty Jac: but I think you could do better Savannah: of course I could, especially if the alternative means disappointing you Savannah: I don't ever want to Jac: It's very unlikely that you could Savannah: It's impossible, I promise Jac: Don't worry, it wasn't a challenge Savannah: I'm not worried if it is, I'll rise to it for you Jac: 🌠🌠🌠 Jac: I am going to have to challenge my brother not to be that basic white boy who brings out an acoustic 'round the campfire, excuse me 🙄😅 Savannah: 😄 Savannah: as long as Isabelle doesn't decide to sing along, because it'll be a challenge for me to sit through that Jac: 😬 Jac: she ALWAYS gets the words wrong! Jac: I think she might be partially deaf Savannah: you would know Savannah: it's a shame she's HOPELESS at sign language Jac: honestly, she'd need to do some brain training first Jac: bless her Savannah: I'm still waiting for you to teach me, maybe I'll be worse than she is Jac: [gutted you can't say gay things 'cos most people here can understand but you can still come teach her] Savannah: [Amelia do be watching you and she definitely can] Savannah: [Jude would also just be chiming in telling Savannah what she's doing wrong like a blunt bitch so now we're mortified because we have to be good at everything] Jac: [just showing her how to tell Jude to fuck off or something like excuse you] Savannah: [literally never swears because she's that kind of trying to be classy so you've been spared gal but we're not forgetting that you made us look a fool] Jac: She literally couldn't tie her own shoes 'til like last year Jac: I wouldn't spend any energy on her Savannah: it's fine, I'd rather know my mistakes Jac: She knows it's as rude to listen in on a sign conversation as it is a normal one Jac: honestly, I don't know where her manners have gone half the time Savannah: I'll have to get better now so we can have a conversation worth listening in on Jac: I'll show you properly Jac: when we have some privacy Savannah: you can come home with me, we'll have plenty of privacy if we leave here late enough Jac: You're really gonna make him wait then Jac: 😘 Savannah: he'll be too drunk to be any use to me once his friends are done with him Savannah: & anyway, I want to be with you Jac: Good Jac: of course I'll come Savannah: I feel like I haven't even seen you since Ty & I reconciled, I've really missed you Jac: he had a lot he had to make up for Jac: so I've missed you more Savannah: [touching that necklace he gave us without realising we're doing it as we recall that horrible argument] Savannah: I'm all yours now Jac: Good Jac: because we're both going to need really long 🛀 to get the smoke smell out of our hair Savannah: ugh true! I'll wash yours if you wash mine Jac: 100% Jac: and would you ever trust a boy with your hair, no matter how sorry he is Savannah: No way! Savannah: plus he's too tall to fit in the 🛁 with me, even the huge one at my house Savannah: he'd just sulk the entire time Savannah: I'm so sorry I'm taller than the other girl you dated Jac: the basketball boys always go out with tiny girls Jac: it's like their thing Jac: so weird Savannah: right? 🙄 Savannah: it's a totally possessive thing, I'm glad you can't stand over me to feel powerful, excuse me Jac: honestly Jac: people always talk about short guy's complexes but tall lads think they're so superior just for having a few inches, okay we get what you're trying to put out and it ain't cute Savannah: exactly Savannah: & if picking me up & throwing me around is SUCH a turn on for you, work at it 💪🏾 I have to put in effort to look good too Jac: Not about it Savannah: Ty isn't either, he's the gentlest boy in the world Jac: Yeah he is Savannah: maybe too gentle sometimes, but I didn't say so Jac: I get it Jac: you don't have to think he's perfect just because you're going out with him Savannah: he definitely doesn't think I am Jac: he's got no complaints though Savannah: for now, I suppose Jac: he told me, you saw Jac: he thinks you're good, if not perfect Savannah: he doesn't want to lose me Jac: he's not stupid Savannah: ^^ he'll say anything, that's what boys do Jac: yeah Jac: how much they mean is a different story Savannah: my dad's never meant a single word he's said to us Jac: even if he meant it at the time Jac: he didn't stick to his word, and that's what counts Savannah: yes, it is Jac: Ty's dependable Savannah: I'm not though, I'm a wreck Jac: hey Jac: [looks at her and shakes her head like no] Jac: do you want to go inside for a bit? we can be getting more food and drinks or whatever Savannah: okay Jac: [casually run off hand in hand so you can go properly talk about this] Savannah: [soz not soz everyone] Jac: [also said your garden would not be that big so probably gonna need to go upstairs or down so everyone's not just 👀 lol] Savannah: [get in the basement for that parallel] Jac: [sounds creepy but yes lol, go forth for that privacy hens] Savannah: [yet again we're just telling the bae stuff that we haven't told anyone including our bf #bonding] Jac: [we know the fucking vibes, y'all gonna be ages and do not care remotely] Savannah: [gotta fix Savannah's makeup for her to because she'll have done a little cry so that's gay & intimate] Jac: [honestly how this kiss doesn't happen sooner hun] Savannah: [that's the scolding hot tea] Jac: [casual patience of a saint somehow] Savannah: [we both know you're scared to cross that line hens] Jac: [mhmm how you just don't though when the tension is this high and obvious but you know, sort yourselves out] Savannah: [for now though go back outside to find Amelia has left] Jac: how rude Savannah: Do you have any messages from her? Jac: she told them she was feeling sick Jac: but she's not said anything more than that in a message either Savannah: one of her migraines? Jac: probably Jac: smoke can be a trigger, I guess Jac: oh well, I'll message her in the group chat, make sure she's okay Savannah: I hope she got home okay Savannah: it was a bit rude of Is not to go with her & make sure Jac: ^^ I'm like, girl Jac: you've had THREE hot dogs Jac: you could've done without the last one to be a better friend but priorities, I suppose Savannah: ^^ she could've at least come & got us so we could do the right thing if she wasn't going to Jac: Seriously Jac: now I look lowkey bad like thanks 🙄 Savannah: No, it's my fault Savannah: I feel bad, poor Amelia Jac: Oh my God, no, it's so not your fault Savannah: it's okay, I know I'm beyond demanding Jac: You aren't Jac: She just has a headache Jac: you're actually going through it right now Jac: you deserve time to vent Savannah: 😔 Savannah: but I do understand if you're upset with me Jac: I'm not, at all Jac: just at Is a bit for not handling the whole situation properly Savannah: Would you like me to talk to her? Jac: That's fine, we don't need to get into their drama Jac: it's like, not a situation and not going to be one because Is either wants it to be or is literally too ditzy to check in on Amelia herself without being explicitly told Savannah: You're right Savannah: you deserve a good night even if it is a fake holiday Jac: I'm having a good night with you Savannah: Oh please, I can do better Savannah: I've been crying for most of it Savannah: [proves it by doing the most, throwing ourselves into all the activities and thus the bae as well] Savannah: [I like to imagine poor Isabelle trying to get involved & we're just subtly not having it] Jac: [montage time, honestly Is you would've been better to leave too, at least the fam is here so you aren't being totally ignored lol] Savannah: [soz that we're just falling in love here] Jac: [literally can't help it sorry they don't mean the harm they casually do] Savannah: now you're having a good night Jac: an even better one, yeah Savannah: I'll be your 🌠 Savannah: anything you want, all you have to do is whisper it to me & I'll make sure it comes true Jac: Tinkerbell's got nothing on you Savannah: your happiness is so important to me, with or without the 👏🏾 Jac: you know I'd do anything for you too Jac: I feel like I should do more Jac: be better Savannah: you do more for me than anyone else EVER has, if you did more you'd be putting your own mental health & wellbeing at risk for the sake of mine Savannah: I'm not trying to be a drain of you like Is, who literally needs her hand held through every little thing Jac: I know, you're just so good to me Jac: but you're good FOR me too Savannah: I'm not always this selfish, I swear Jac: you're literally the most selfless Jac: all you do is look after Sienna and you're the best friend to me and girlfriend to Ty Jac: it hurts my heart sometimes Jac: I just wanna take care of you and make your life so easy you can thrive and shine Savannah: You're going to make me cry again Savannah: [IRL 🥺 because the bae is so pure & genuinely takes such good care of us] Savannah: I'll survive this & you'll see what I'm actually like without all this drama surrounding me Savannah: I really will be the best friend to you forever Jac: [we're such emotional bitches atm and always tbh hennys] Jac: I know you will, you're already amazing Jac: you're going to be unstoppable Jac: and I'm gonna be right there with you Savannah: [it's the only emotion we can safely express rn because smooching is forbidden] Savannah: I'm totally fine with doing trust falls Savannah: you know I believe in you & our future together Jac: 🌍 sister connection Jac: [because we are all earth signs except Amelia soz gal] Savannah: ^^ yes! Savannah: [take your bae to dance because it's a party and that's the only excuse we need] Jac: [bye at how much of a moment that'd be] Savannah: [literally there's every chance it's the first time they have because her bf would always be there at parties and stuff so I'm deceased] Jac: [we know you'd have no qualms stealing her away but a party with loads of peers is different from how intimate this is, at best everyone has a few friends] Savannah: [exactly that, so glad you don't have to see this Amelia you really would have a headache] Jac: [yeah this would be 💔] Savannah: [thank god we've got Isabelle cockblocking rn because y'all are too in love tbh] Jac: [just joins in 'cos not in love with you and thus oblivious] Savannah: [they'd be so annoyed lol] Jac: [lmao oh isabelle] Savannah: [go get some drinks or something gals and whisper shade to each other about this poor third wheel because any excuse to keep that intimacy going] Jac: [it's a good thing you are lowkey oblivious or you'd be way more upset by it all too] Savannah: [god bless you Isabelle, so soz you get done so dirty] Jac: [in the end you live your best life, just not being friends with this squad lol] Savannah: [the best thing for you is getting new friends my love, but for now I like to imagine she's talking to them about some boy or other, remember those you massive gays] Jac: 😬 him Jac: seriously?!? Savannah: What is she thinking of? & more importantly, what part of her body is leading her in those thoughts Jac: 😷 I can't Jac: so many cold showers necessary for her and honestly just some 🧼 for him Savannah: He asked me out, knowing full well I'm not single or interested, it was horrific Jac: the definition of no shame Savannah: I didn't know what to do Jac: I bet you didn't Jac: the actual nerve Savannah: Not to sound like Amelia, but I genuinely have no understanding of what she approves of or thinks we'll approve of about most of the boys she talks about Jac: Availability? Jac: like, imagine that was all a boy had to say about you Savannah: that's so sad Jac: like if they weren't so gross themselves, I'd feel sorry for them Savannah: I've just decided, I'm going to find her a boyfriend we can all stand to be around, Ty'll know someone Savannah: it'll give you a much needed break from how clingy she is & my heart won't hurt anymore from hearing her talk like this about boys who aren't worthy Jac: Such a nice idea 👼🏾 Jac: does he know anyone that will deal with her though Jac: she's a lot Savannah: It may not be an overnight success but I'll work my 🔮✨ Jac: I believe in nothing harder than I believe in your magic Savannah: I'm your girl too, just like you told Ty, of course you have faith in me & because you do, I feel so capable of anything 🥰 Jac: It had to be said Jac: like we said, the possessive thing, not it Jac: you're you and you're so many things to so many people, and you're especially important to me Jac: if he wants you, he's gotta accept that Savannah: ^^^ Savannah: I love you & you're always going to be part of my life, I hope he is too, obviously but there's none of that uncertainty with you, you are & you will be Jac: Right, romantic relationships are arguably almost always the least secure, that's just realistic Jac: ask any girl who ditches ALL her friends and then gets dumped Savannah: oh god, I could NEVER Savannah: I need you Jac: The concession they must make in their lives, like, who do you talk to about the stuff he has no interest in, who gives you advice from a woman's perspective??? Jac: so toxic Savannah: He & I have very different styles of self care, I'm sorry I simply would not survive Jac: 🏋️ is part of the daily grind, NOT a way to unwind, sorry Ty Savannah: 😄 Savannah: Don't worry, I promise I won't wake you as early tomorrow for our workout Jac: I'm not, I nearly ALWAYS wake up before you Jac: but that's okay, you look adorable and very peaceful 😴😘 Savannah: well it takes me longer to fall asleep Savannah: you look even more adorable & peaceful then 👼🏻☁ Jac: okay, so we're even 😅 Savannah: the universe is keeping everything in balance for us Savannah: I love that Jac: I know, right? Jac: if we had a 👶🏾 or a job share we'd be KILLING it Savannah: 🥺 you're going to have the cutest babies ever! Jac: 🤞 the dad's DNA doesn't screw that up Savannah: No way, we'll find you someone perfect Jac: I have more hope for Uni Savannah: you don't trust my matchmaking skills? Jac: No, no Jac: just the boys you have to choose from here 😬😂 Savannah: 😄You're right, an LDR makes much more sense for you & I wouldn't have to share you as often Savannah: I'll find you a first year uni boy who goes to school with Ty's brother Jac: You think so? Savannah: definitely, he'll fit into your schedule without wanting to become your schedule Savannah: & you may actually be able to have & sustain a proper conversation, depending what he studies Jac: you really do have the best ideas Jac: Obviously down Savannah: [immediately starts sending her pics and profiles because we're extra] Savannah: Let me know who you like & I'll totally make it happen Jac: I'll look properly tonight at yours Jac: [like no, Isabelle, you may not have more than a peep so you're #curious] Savannah: there's no rush, whenever you're ready Jac: 😍😍 Savannah: [snuggling again with our IRL 😍 because we're in love bitch] Savannah: [Savannah is just that touchy feely hoe like soz gal she's gonna just be touching you ALL THE TIME] Jac: [at least you'd have to vaguely get used to it or literally die haha, we know the 😍 are and will be for you but we'll pretend to be into these lads so we can scheme it together] Savannah: [we've since the pics you had a touchy feely vibe with Amelia too, even if it was more like hugs and piggy backs lol you can do this] Jac: [mhmm, arguably you can't but you carry it on for a long time lol]

[kapanbenernya]

A Hat in Time -- Cute as Heck

Yeah, I don't know where to start on this one. I mean I did liked Spyro: Year of the Dragon and that similar muppet video game when I was a kid. But I was never really into the 3D collect-a-thon, because the PS1 was the only console I had at the time, and most of those games were on the Nintendo 64. Hell, I didn't even know there was a Nintendo 64.

I told you, I was a dumb fuck when I was a kid

I picked this up because a friend kinda recommended it to me. I asked him about this game, and he said "it's pretty good, but the light-hearted-fun kind of good". Well shit, that's something I haven't heard in a long time to describe a video game, what with everything gotta be "gritty" and "realistic" but they end up edgy and depressing. After all of those things considered, I thought to myself, why not?

Let's have some light-hearted fun!

The first thing I noticed when I googled it is that it was a kickstarter project. I'm not gonna lie, I was kind of pessimistic. What, with your Mighty No. 9 and Yooka-Laylee ending up being one of the most expensive disappointment in the history of kickstarted games. But between the two, Mighty No. 9 was the one that caught my attention the most. I mean Keiji Inafune was in the team behind it. And that guy was the father of Megaman. This is like if BombTag was made by the guys who made Bomberman but also being a lot more shit than the current version of BombTag. So you can clearly see why it was a cruel twist of fate that it turned out to be crap, it had all the pieces and all the money it needed to be the homecoming diva of the year that will receive all the scholarships, and look how it ended up: a 60-pound crack-whore that sucks dick by the nickel. Well I decided then that wallowing and speculating about how this game might be another pile of shit is just wasting my goddamn time, so I moved on to finally playing the game.

The first time I started it, I wasn’t impressed

I’m just gonna be honest and upfront about this, I think the graphics sucked. I understand that you’re angry, but this is my paragraph, so shut the fuck up. Ok, how do I explain this? I mean the graphics are cel-shaded, which actually compliments the theme this game was going for, I’ll give it that much. But it’s fucking bad, even for indie. There are clipping issues everywhere, shading that went crazy and mis-matched, and a few more minor issues. They didn’t disturb the game though, not at all. I just think that if you’re making a game that’s on kickstarter and a few projects like this one has failed miserably, maybe don’t make it look like Wind Waker went a few rounds with a semi truck. But again, as I have said, it does not affect the game in any way, just a minor complaint from me really. The graphics aren’t the strength of this game anyway.

To be fair, graphics wasn’t Wind Waker’s strong suit either

To me, the strength of the game lies in the gameplay

The story is that you are some alien kid in a spaceship fueled by thingies called Time Pieces. On your way home some mafia guy asked you to pay the toll, in a blue suit, in outer space, without rockets. You gotta admire his dedication. Anyway, he fucks up your ship and as a result all your time pieces got scattered across different themed worlds. And thus begins your journey of collecting all 40 macguffins so you can kickstart your magic spaceship-home-base-thingy! Now please relocate your eyes back to it’s original place after rolling it so far backwards from hearing the sub-par theming of the game. Don’t worry, I promise everything gets better, because I will finally talk about the gameplay in the next paragraph

The gameplay at it's core is a simple 3D platformer. You jump, you slide, and you attack enemies. Pretty basic shit on the surface level, if not deceptively so. Thing is, there are moves that you can get from a combination of jumps, slides, and wall hops that can get you further than your little minds can handle. And like it or not, this is a thing that you have to master becuase the platforming will only get more and more challenging as you progress throuh the levels, especially the secret levels that can be hard as balls. Thankfully, they usually teach you how to do things by introducing a mechanic in a story first, and only after then do they allow you to go wild.

The second part of the gameplay is the objective, which is to collect all the scattered time pieces thingy to re-fuel your spaceship. This is achieved through a set goal depending on the levels of the game. And since there are 5 unique worlds in total, each with levels of their own, you can bet your ass that there’s a lot of gameplay variety. This is in one hand, a good thing since a lot of variation can be a guarantee that you will not get bored by doing the same thing again and again. I guess this is a thing that comes from being a kickstarted game. This dev guy wants this, that dev person wants another thing, and the everybody just frankenstein’d all the different concepts into one big ball and hope for the best. Thankfully, it worked in favor of the game, since the interchanging themes and mechanics means that every level feels fresh and novel. Although I must say, this also results in one particular level that’s very different in tone from the rest of the levels. I mean for comparison, In one level I was in a town full of bald Mafia men, pushing them off cliffs and ledges for fun. Meanwhile, in the next level I was being chased by the lordly ghost woman in a haunted mansion. Now, since the other levels are anything BUT scary, I thought that this horror-themed level is just children level of scary. You know, like your talking bones or bed sheet ghosts. What I didn’t expect was a sincerely terrifying level that made me genuinely scared. 

Wow, I never expected that my pants could be so brown.

I gotta tell you though, that level wasn’t some kind of genius design or some avant-garde breakthrough. It’s just your generic scary enemy chasey chasey sequence you’ve seen a million times. It’s just that you can really feel the horror because you didn't expect it to be there. It’s like walking into Disneyland to find everything has been replaced by spiders and mickey had hung himself on the main attraction.

One thing that I felt is that the game is very short. 25 levels in total (excluding the DLC) with bonus missions for extra time pieces that amounts to 40. That may seem to be a huge number, but trust me it isn’t. The reason why is because the game is a bit of a cakewalk. The bosses themselves aren’t hard, except for the purple ghost guy that can spam AoE attacks like it’s going out of style. After playing it fully, I get the feeling that I’m not quite the intended audience for this game. I feel like A Hat in Time is made to be played by children. It’s just a feeling I had though.

In Brief

You know what I felt when I played A Hat in Time? Joy. Pure innocent child-like joy that leaves a grin on your face. The kind of grin you used to get when you played in the yard with your friends or family. It’s a different kind of joy from the triumph when you defeat a hard boss in Dark Souls or when you get the top frag in shooter games. It’s warm and optimistic and leaves you content. If you’re a kid looking for a good kiddie game, this one’s for you. If you’re just looking for some good old fashioned nostalgic platformer game, this one’s also for you.

Hey we don't judge things over here my guy. A game's a game, and what matters is you enjoy what you're playin'.

[gg-astrology]

Hi lovely, hope you're having a sunny day ☀️ could you please do an analysis for leo sun, aqua moon? Also. Thank you so much for delivering such in-depth descriptions!! I'm sure that takes a lot of time and effort. So I super appreciate everything you do on this blog 💖 have a blessed end-of-the-week!

 Hey there!!! 💖💖 Aaah thank u!! 💖💖 I’m kinda sick so I hope this skdjnfk will still be kinda in-depth?? ;; I’ll do my best nevertheless! 💖

[Below Cut: Leo Sun - Aquarius Moon 🦊]

Sharp, these people are soooo sharp

It’s almost intuitive how much they can ‘get’ or ‘read’ people-- not bc of anything specific but like-- generally taking notice of the world around them and having a deeply perceptive understanding of how people work y know?

These people are great at balancing sociability, net-working, getting to know those and be at the right place/right time, seeing opportunities for what it’ll be worthy of and taking advantage of it

As well as just---- not being taken a fool, or acting like a damn fool who’s gonna regret making that decision. Aquarius Moon gives them serious consideration to their principality, their goals their mindsets. For serious principality stuff like hanging out w/ a bad crowd, with people who are seriously despicable -- Leo/Aquarius generally knows whats the limit and when to stay away, they have good judgement even if they LIKE being morally ambiguous characters (a public persona) 

Leo/Aquarius has good moral judgement on those, and is one of the thing they sway away from and generally speak strictly about. A few close rules/priority they hold themselves up for. They?? Like to keep people guessing, keep up with the fad and generally may have a more ‘active’ social life-style than most. Doesn’t mean they don’t go home and do their own shit, just means they’re good at keeping up w/ things, people, contact if they want to. 

Other than that they CAN go a lil crazy with their actions, like deliberately so. They just wanna experience y know? See the other side, see and be whatever they can bc opportunities aren’t everywhere, u gotta make the best of it sometimes

Something about just being ‘unpredictable’ is fun-- bc they have a point to prove usually. A sharp remark or social-political criticism on something. These people may be contrarian, combination of theatric Leo with perceptive Aquarius makes for someone who sees beyond the scope of just ‘conventional’ and doesn’t care of ‘sheep-following’ habits of crowds/others

They blaze their own trail, style, but may still keep in mind the mainstream influence. They just....they like having this generally easy-going and approachable manner to them, mindless stuff too. Part of the ‘unpredictability’ is precisely knowing ‘what kind’ of conventional trends they’d like (like preferring certain pop artists/songs)  

They also have a pretty ‘reformative’ attitude towards the things they pick up on,  kinda like going ‘hmmm well how can i make this better’ or ‘whats the better option then?’

Keep in mind-- they may be critical people but they are also rather optimistic!! Would look at progress, ways to adapt/move forward rather than be stuck with a dead-end stance on something

They understand better than anyone that if you cast judgement that are end-all, be-all,--- or rather unproductive criticism (no matter how cynical you think you are) --you’re not doing anything productive in the world like that

People who complains and complains, thinks only of the negative and thinks everything is ‘bad/can’t change’ pisses them off the most, it goes against their entire moral integrity and mindset-- they themselves may be satirical or critical, but they’re not the type of person who would cast ‘bad judgement’ on others that would doom them with ‘permanency to your demise’ you know? 

Always look at the realistic side, the opportunity side that could come if something gives/change. But they’re also the type of people who are inherently honest, and can’t lie/deceive or give false optimism to others if they truly don’t think it would ‘become’ that. 

Despite being oppositions, these Leo/Aquarius people are rarely egoistic in their judgement. They aren’t fooled by their own narrow vision, they are rather self-examining and become fully enlightened/aware of their limitations- strengths and the possibility of a ‘different’ view all the time.

This is because Aquarius doesn’t allow their Leo the luxury of being brash/crass with judging others too quickly, so most of the time-- these people work in a way that is perceptive to themselves first (their own hardship, narrow-mindedness, limitations, strength) and then they bring that out into the real world and use it to give constructive feedback/conversation with others (demonstrative)

These people are fully aware of their naivety or being seen as naive sometimes, and they respect that. That’s their motivation/humbleness to keep things open-- keep their perspective big so they don’t close themselves down emotionally/developmentally to growth and self-realization y know?

Bc they KNOW their depth and weaknesses (also looking kinda naive) they tend to shrug off, or act ‘effortless’ in how they behave (’no big deal dont take it so seriously’) -- only pulling out these sharp insights sometimes when they need to turn serious or has a point to make for abit.

They’ve very careful/cautious on keeping up this front of ‘no biggie’ -- because they also don’t think life should be taken too seriously/down-trodden all the damn time. You have to experience both sides of the story, the fun mindless part and the sharp operative part (insightful part) as well.

Leo/Aquarius people also tend to treat everyone as equals, as you generally don’t like mistreatment or hierarchy between people-- you’d rather rely on your hunches/intuition of ‘context’ on how you should treat person to person -- like if they deserve respect, if you’re not going to listen to them, if they can handle a lil unpredictability and how you should generally ‘react’ around them--- you sometimes push the envelope, but you depend strongly on your intuition (or base “knowledge”) that you’re not “taking it too far” 

(even if sometimes you do, but you’re a sweet-talker and can generally appeal back to those people. You don’t like to think you’re “sweet” you just like to think you’re “pragmatic and can read people” --- bullshit, you’re a sweet-talker and it has nothing to do with being logical or practical in any regards.) 

One thing to note is that you think rather abstractly, or rather-- you prefer so much of the bigger picture you do not understand the methodical detailed approach to things. This can often make you impatient when you have to “slow down for the little things” and thus can make you forgetful sometimes, it also makes you a lil narrowed in your perspective. Since you thrive on coming off as argumentative/pride yourself in your “points” --you cannot listen to those who approach things in a detailed-oriented way, every-day down to earth way than you sometimes.

Alrightly, I hope this is good!! 💖 Thanks for sending it in!! 💖

[pokefanbri]

Im still fucking fighting, i keep telling myself im not gonna let go & Fuck everyone else who thinks I should. But sometimes there's the opposite, im just lost & idk what to do....hes not gonna come back...so why should I bother to keep fighting 😔 If someone asks me...

Are they worth it? Absolutely. Because theres always room for improvement & growth, & we've been doing that apart for ourselves now for 7months. Did they give u the respect and attention u deserved? Are we not more valuable than that? Hell no & hell yes lol. Look I was happy just doing that for him but yea when it came to me honestly it was like nah im good 😒 & i know how fucked up it is that id go along with his selfishness but I did. I did deserve better & he knows I did... i just didnt wanna lose him & did anything he needed me for... but I ended up losing him anyway 😔 theres a reason why u work on that kinda shit & grow together as you go so everyone is happy, its fair to say we both lost sight...I was eager to learn everything about him cuz I wanted to be closer...but I was blocked out & pushed away, he wouldn't open up & talk to me or show feelings for anything, even of me when he used to all the time...like he was scared of being too attached or didnt want to get hurt..he didnt trust me or was afraid to show his true self or show any emotion that'd be viewed as weak due to the typical be a man complex. Idk I was confused & didnt know what was needed to help fix things so yea i walked on eggshells & me showing affection of my own free will was out of the question most of the time...I couldn't touch him unless he wanted me to & rare occurrences for my own satisfaction. Its the reason why I cried all the damn time, I felt avoided & unwanted because my own attention lacked pretty badly. How tf do I love a fucknugget bobblehead like that lmao, cuz I dont give 2 flying fucks he was my man ok! & being close enough to him made me happy enough I guess, I still looked at him like he was my world even if I wanted to slap him for making me feel so lonely at the same time. I admit his needs came b4 mine, he liked it more that way & I took care of him more than I did myself. But if he had more effort to take care of my needs in turn & I were happier than I was, & us happy at the same time, then maybe I wouldn't be so hard on myself...cry all the time & smoke like a chimney 🙁

I still don't fully understand why he held back, communicating with me on a deeper level is supposed to be natural & pretty much all normal couples show an appropriate amount of affection & understanding to eachother....but it was kept burried...was he afraid id hate him, judge him, make fun? No, id love him even more! Idc how dark he may think he is or whatever past bs he's gone through or even if he was lying about anything...its okay it can't hurt u anymore dear & we can overcome it just tell me what it is thats lacking & let's fix this. Id say "sit down babe, tell me everything, whats on your mind, what can I do to help 😊" & id give him the most gentle kiss on the forehead. I'd do anything to see a smile from that face & it makes me smile too. I want to help him, he needs somebody to hold just as much as I do cuz the fact of the matter is babe, he's just as broken as I am, we both need someone to put back our pieces & become whole again...after we try doing it solo it can only go so far b4 u want that physical presence of another again to help u more so. He keeps everything bottled up & especially didnt let me see what was happening to him I had no clue, if he didnt like talking to anyone he at least had me but still kept me away from him, whatever it was festered in him & he changed his whole demeanor toward me, he became colder & shut me out for good 😔 Making me feel even more unwanted. We didnt help eachother through our problems & I really wanted to, I wanted to save us for the longest time way b4 the end. Idk maybe if he put in as much effort & we knew how to function better together instead of a Corolla with just 2 wheels then we'd probably be fine...& our suspension wouldn't be dragging on the asphalt 😂 Its not all on him for fault, I take equal amount of responsibility, we failed eachother, we didn't know wtf we were doing & 9/10 it was just friends with benefits with only 1 of us in love & attached, & the other not really caring with side pieces to chat with 🤷‍♀️

U know what 🤬 They're right, he's right, & now I'm actually starting to accept it the more I write. Maybe just maybe,HE DOESN'T DESERVE ME AT ALL. Im still upset and frustrated. To answer the question again from earlier no maybe he's not worth it. I suffered through his bs and 10fold heartbreak afterward!! If he can't own up, right his wrongs & bring us both peace then no he's not worth suffering for afterall, and ive been loving the wrong soul this whole damn time 😣 He kicked me to the curb cuz he a fucking coward! He cant admit his wrongdoings, ask for forgiveness, say im sorry or actually put the tiniest bit of effort into a relationship to make it work, but instead disposes of me so he wouldn't have to confront any of it & just continue on like nothing happened are fucking kidding me!!?? I thought u were smarter than this, its beneath you to just run away & pretend I never mattered to you when we both know I did!!!....& im crying again. Im still feeling the betrayal apparently, ill never be able to trust him fully again anyway, let alone other men now. I dont hate you, I love you very much. But I hate the evil from you that you've shown me. I should've known honestly, I was naive to see all types of disrespect but this was the worst part. I still love him but i do deserve better than that & I hope he's changed his ways. Trust a guy with a high track record of ladies & a handful of em in their hand..what u think 🤔 can trust be gained back? Can I get over the bad uncalled for lying shit he's said about me to other women to make himself look better? Idk 🤷‍♀️ I haven't been able to rest without closure for so long, but enough is enough im making my own. You're absolutely right, you'd just manipulate me further, I thought maybe we could be better than before...round 2 at some point in the future...but maybe we're not salvageable after all. Thats up to u, I did everything I could, but now if u were to ever come back idk if I'd jump into your arms or slam the door in your face, I just dont know. Its better that I try never speaking of u again, or think of you for as long as I can so that I can heal better....cuz loving you even after the fact is tearing me apart & making me lose focus on what matters more, myself. I fought valiantly as long as I could, 7 months is a long time to not shut up about u lol.. maybe you've been hearing me I wouldn't know. I have to force it or ill never be able to, ill still silently grieve but as much as it hurts, Its time. U were my rock, an asshole but a good one, the best gamer I got to know, a boss at alot of things, with the cutest lil butt, & somehow the love of my life. Other than maybe something valentines or anniv related in Feb ofcourse....Ur getting what u wanted, I have to do whats best for me now, I have to let u go. I held on for so long but Im really tired & emotionally drained, im just torturing myself when i need to stop, im defeated, nobody won anything, everyone got hurt in 2020 why should our relationship be any different, id say we gave it our all be we both know we didnt. This hurts me so much to do, like my heart is breaking again. Bye babe, I love you with all my heart. 💋💞 💟

I tried to do what I could but if he left, I just gotta try to move on. If I take him back, I gotta consider how that's gonna look like & if I really got past the damage he did....obviously theres some I still haven't 😔 Its what im telling myself while trying to move past this. Others going through the same...We're in love and they ain't. We can't control their actions but we can control our actions. Im not a toxic person..only to myself, I love with all my heart, nobody bothers to understand...they just judge

[beanacomputer]

Do I seem like I know what I'm doing?

Well not much has been going on. I've been really depressed lately. I've been working on some song edits, did a vlog, and I'm learning Latin.

School starts in three weeks and I am just not excited at all. I need to start preparing for calculus. I'm taking vector calculus and it's been more than three years since I did any calculus at all. So I really gotta get on that soon... but I'm going north to do some light work and try to relax and heal.

Plan is kind of to spend as little time with my dad and uncle in the mountains and get down to his other brother's farm where there's way better internet access and I'll have more space and possibly be able to put my hamsters in an entire separate room since my one cousin got his own place. Plus I miss Pepper the Pupper, my uncle's dog. Unfortunately, being a shep mix, she gets way too excited around large groups, and they're also moving soon so her fate is uncertain. However I kind of want to steal her and just like... kinda force my mom to accept having a dog. Especially with distance learning I'll have all sorts of time to play with her, but she's a semi-indoor dog and is used to sleeping on the couch. She does shed a bit, not a huge amount but her fur is about normal for a shep, so my mom probably wouldn't allow her inside unless I forced the issue. However I could just get some supplies and build her a dope little pen in the closed off side yard if push comes to shove. Anyway, yeah... gonna dognap Pepper because I love that pupper and she loves me. We're like bipolar buddies cause that dog is definitely bipolar lol.

Back to school, taking that intro to comparative religion course with my favorite philosophy professor for my third semester in a row. I had him for 101 in fall, this spring I had him for critical reasoning and intro to modern philosophy. Years ago I failed his symbolic logic class (well, C- so I didn't "fail" but I had to retake for major requirements). Shout-out to AJC, you're the man. He was also super understanding about my mental health and let me slide with some stuff he probably shouldn't have. But I'm not going to judge the man, he's the teacher and fully within his rights to grade according to his own views on fairness, and the guy is both intelligent and knowledgeable, and professes a great deal of wisdom so who am I to say he shouldn't let me slide? Lol.

My hope is that my decent knowledge of religions from history classes and general autodidactic reading will make that course fairly low-intensity so I can focus more energy on calculus, which definitely needs a lot of focus and energy. At the same time I'm doing Latin on Duolingo which has been really fun. I'm not to a point where I can even great people, but I can say basic things like "Studebo in auctumus, et mathematica et religio." I believe that should say "In fall I am going to study mathematics and religion." Anyway it's cool! I wanna start German at some point and I'd like to pick Mandarin back up because Chinese is like the second most useful language on the planet.

This might sound like I have some solid grand plan for my life.

I don't. All I know is I'm pursuing those three associates degrees, learning Latin, trying to make music and write, and would really like to make a living as an artist. But that's like asking ice cream to stay solid on a summer day in Phoenix, the number of unsuccessful artists makes the number of successful ones so comparatively miniscule as to be effectively none. Basically you either are super talented and lucky or you're nobody. Which is fine, a little hurtful, but not unexpected so not particularly painful.

In the shorter term, to try to do something worthwhile that will blend things I'm doing, I still want to build that synth. I think doing custom sound design with an MCU serving as a function generator could be really fun. And calculus is full of great little shortcuts for approximating different types of waves so you can sample a polynomial over a short domain and range to get something that likes like a desired sinusoid across that domain, but diverges outside of it. Polynomials are much easier to process than trigonometric functions so this is much more efficient and thus more powerful because you can layer more effects and waveforms with the same MCU workload. So that'll require physical engineering, eventually of a box but also of just the circuitry, soldering and electronics assembly work, programming and mathematics, which is all shit I'm good at but just don't do because they're involved types of work and I'm usually too lazy and depressed.

But approaching 27 I'm starting to get that existential fear driving me. The next 10 years will be the most important of my life, I know that for certain lol. Lots of decisions to make and opportunities to pursue.

Anyway, thanks for reading this far! I'm going to try to upload more vlogs and keep working on my other stuff. Take care and stay safe out there!

source https://oiralire.blogspot.com/2020/08/do-i-seem-like-i-know-what-im-doing.html

[punkscowardschampions]

Carly & Ali

Carly: heard from drew? Carly: long shot Ali: Ha, good one Carls Ali: God no Ali: he's AWOL? Carly: yea Carly: gimme calebs number? Carly: longer shot Ali: 'Course but doubt they're chillin' Ali: and he might act like saying his name invokes him to pop up like a demon but you know Ali: Have you spoken to Meena? Surely he's keeping her in the loop Carly: shes not picking up Carly: to me Carly: same as my mum and dad Ali: That's not like her, she's probably just busy, keep trying Ali: As for your 'rents, where have they gone? And why do you need Drew so urgent? Gah, sorry, so many questions Ali: Just go with this one, are you okay? Carly: ive been trying ages Carly: shes not on spanish time idk why she cant answer Carly: idk wot to do Carly: how do i get it to stop ?? Ali: Spain's only an hour ahead of us anyway, not an excuse Ali: I'm 8 hours ahead and I've managed Ali: get what to stop babe Carly: the crying Carly: i cant think Carly: its all it does Ali: You've had the baby Ali: how long ago? did you go to the hospital? you need to if you haven't, like now Carly: what Carly: why would i go there Carly: its over with Ali: Because you both need to be checked over Ali: its really important Ali: have you birthed the placenta? Is it all out? If not you could die Ali: Never mind if there's anything wrong with the baby Ali: Call a cab and give me your deets, I'll transfer the money now Carly: that alien shit Carly: yea Carly: it screams healthy Ali: that is a good sign but there could be something you're missing, maybe that's why its screaming? better safe than sorry, they're not allowed to ask you about shit unrelated, so if you're high, sober up and then go, yeah? Ali: When did you last do a feed? Have you been able to? They'll show you how, it can be tricky Carly: id scream if i was born here Carly: gonna be stuck Carly: sober up? i need more Carly: shit hurts dont need to tell you Ali: They'll give you stuff at the Hospital Ali: why do you think anyone goes? Ali: and fo free baby gurl! please Carly: i cant Carly: gotta be hear for when my mum rings back Carly: & drew might come Ali: Give me your mums number and I'll tell her where you are Ali: then she can ring the hospital and they'll let you know Ali: I bet Drew has a key, no? Ali: Leave a note Carly: he left it when he went Carly: threw it at me Ali: Oh bab Ali: I'm sorry Ali: but you gotta focus on you Ali: and the baby now Ali: Not him, he knows where you are Ali: I can text him if you want, or try to call Ali: I swear nothing bad will come out of it Carly: but its his Carly: and i am Carly: he should be here Ali: But he isn't Ali: maybe he'll come back but you gotta keep going 'til he does, alright? Carly: i need to find him Ali: Not right now Ali: next step Ali: he's not lost, he doesn't want to be found Ali: i know that's harsh but its the truth Ali: he'll come back when he's ready, alright? Carly: what about me Carly: im not ready Carly: he doesnt care Carly: why should i Ali: he cares about himself Ali: AT LEAST do that Ali: if you can't the baby then the people at the hospital will help with that too Ali: you can't just leave it Ali: boy or girl? Carly: its a girl Carly: another one Carly: hes gonna be mad Ali: I don't think he's salty about not having a male heir babe Ali: If you really won't go...I'll do my best to tell you what I know and I'll send you links Ali: we'll do our best health check and then you've got to try to feed her, yeah? Is that okay? Carly: mad that shes here Carly: i said i wasnt having one Carly: you want me to read? cant hear myself think Ali: But you were Ali: and if you were doing it without protection then he was fully aware it was a possibility Ali: I'll voice memo you then Ali: it'll stop the crying Carly: he says its not his Carly: maybe not Carly: idk Carly: its got blood on it but could look like him when thats gone Ali: He said that to me when it definitely was so kind of his go to Ali: but even if it isn't, doesn't mean he has to be a dick to you about it Ali: Its not right regardless Ali: Especially not when you're alone Carly: how do i make it sleep Carly: im tired Carly: should i sing? Ali: That might help yeah Ali: Skin to skin to, that's comforting Ali: Lemme break down how you feed it, yeah? Hold on Carly: i cant pick it up what if i drop it fuck no Carly: gotta stay where it is Ali: You won't Ali: its your baby, its safer with you than it is on the floor Ali: get a towel, that'll keep it warm and put it to your chest Ali: [Sends 38 sec video] okay, if that's easier this vid shows you how but I'm here to talk you through Carly: all the towels are wet Carly: it can have my tshirt thats warm Ali: Good idea, see Ali: you know what you're doing Ali: you've got this Carly: its too small Carly: i have to put it back down Carly: ill hurt it Carly: fuming about me coming near it Ali: She's just hungry and confused Ali: Understandable, right? Dunno about you but I'd be pretty fucked off too if I'd just been pushed out my nice comfy home of the last 9 months Ali: You'll be her best friend in my time at all Carly: id put it back if i could Carly: whyd you wanna do this 3 times Ali: 'Cos I'm a bossy bitch and I want underlings to do my bidding and I get to tell 'em what to do Ali: speaking of, time for your masterclass Ali: get her and get comfy on the sofa or your bed or wherever is bed Ali: best Carly: k Carly: shes heavy wtf Ali: That's good! You did a good job cooking her then Ali: and if she's a lil chunk, this should be easier Carly: shes small but im sleepy Ali: you can both take a snooze when this is done, usually conks 'em right out Ali: is your tiddy out? Carly: knew you fancied me Ali: you know Ali: getting in there while your defenses are down Carly: im single Carly: you too Ali: Lets do it mama Ali: cutest fam ever? i think so Carly: shes not cute like yours Carly: weird coloured thing Ali: she's probably covered in the gunk and pink from screaming her head off Ali: no ones finest hour i bet she's beautiful Carly: ill get it to take a selfie Ali: yay! get it on the nip 'cos i gotta see my boo too 😍 Ali: line her nose up with your nip, kinda tickle her top lip with it, she should open her mouth wide Ali: then you can shove it in Carly: done that before Carly: weird Carly: [Sends pic of tiny baby Indie] Carly: does she look like him idk Ali: Definitely Ali: Looks a bit like Edie Carly: ill send him the pic Carly: probs should take a better one Carly: how do i look? Ali: Like you've just given birth Ali: so a goddess Ali: but a knackered one Carly: youve got a fetish Carly: cant trust that Ali: me??? Ali: didn't impregnate myself Ali: look at Caleb! Carly: and drew Carly: wont see him Ali: Clearly its his thing too Ali: but he's more about the before than after yeah Ali: he can't stay away forever Ali: he wouldn't leave Meena Carly: youre smart Carly: if i go there he cant avoid me Ali: Exactly Ali: Camp out Ali: Ana will help you with the baby shit if you like Carly: why Carly: she doesnt know me Ali: Because she's a good person Ali: plus she's a social worker, it what she do Ali: and she knows Drew better than most, she raised him Ali: worth a shot Carly: shes not his mum Carly: but she can take this kid Ali: yeah she's better than Ali: is that what you want? Ali: she'll discuss it with you, make sure you both get what's best Carly: im not talking to her Carly: she can take it or not Ali: No one will just take her with no questions asked Carls Ali: for your welfare and the kids Carly: im not answering a social workers questions Ali: They're not entitled to judge you Ali: She won't Ali: and as far as drugs are concerned, if you want to give the baby up then literally none of their business at all after that Ali: and if you did decide to keep her then they work with you Ali: they're not gonna just shop you, it ain't like that Carly: make me go to rehab is how its like Carly: fuck no Ali: They can't make you Ali: there's no point Ali: you can only get sober if that's what you want Carly: my mum and dad'll make me Carly: i know theyre gonna Ali: well, where the fuck are they now? Ali: if they're so concerned about you they'd be here Ali: actually supporting you Carly: theyll come when they find out about her Carly: i never told them Ali: Good, I hope they do Ali: but how did that happen Ali: how could I see and they didn't Ali: or Drew Carly: they dont come back Carly: drew did see thats why he left Ali: yeah but they must talk to you Ali: your mum has obviously been there how did she not clock something being up Ali: and not soon enough in Drew's case Carly: i call them if i need money Carly: they gotta think its why im calling now Ali: When do they call you? Carly: if i call and they didnt pick up Carly: unless theyre busy Ali: I see Ali: how's she doing? done feeding? Carly: sleeping Carly: how are yours? Ali: best feeling ever, right? Ali: much the same, its late here Ali: I'm pulling an all-nighter lowkey, finishing up some work Carly: i miss junie Carly: whatever your on for it gimme some Ali: i'd be creepy and snap him sleeping but no doubt the flash would wake his highness Ali: he misses you too, i'll get him to facetime Carly: aw Carly: go work bitch Carly: i shouldnt kept you this long Ali: don't be daft Ali: queen of multitasking Ali: and not just junie who misses you is it Ali: #massiveLESBIANcrush Carly: my tits are gonna go down Carly: snap me up now Ali: Trying, like Ali: make it facebook official Ali: that'll get the lads attention ey Ali: why else do it Carly: yea Carly: my parents too probs Carly: lapsed catholics Ali: be on the next plane over to get you back on the dick like Ali: i'll get on it #longdistancelesbians Ali: my ex gonna be so mad Carly: mine too Carly: wtf am i gonna do Carly: I dont want him to be an ex Ali: even though he's fucked you over like this? Carly: i fucked him over first Carly: i lied Ali: not really Ali: if anything, you lied to yourself Ali: but you didn't wanna hear it, couldn't Ali: and that makes sense Carly: cant block it out any more Carly: fuck Ali: it gets really real really fast Ali: doesn't it Ali: but you have got this Ali: i've got you, however i can, yeah? Carly: i dont want it to be Carly: i dont want it Carly: i cant do this Ali: okay, that's okay too Ali: but she isn't going to just go Ali: whether it was getting an abortion earlier or what you have to do now Ali: you have to do something Ali: there's no quick fix for it Ali: ana can get you in touch with the right people who will make it as easy as they can for you and her Ali: or my mum Carly: if i leave her she'll get found Carly: why does nobody ever call me back wtf Ali: Yeah but they'll still try to find you Ali: or Drew Ali: and his DNA will be on the system so Ali: and I reckon if they got to him, he'd sell you out Ali: when's the last time you slept? Carly: idk Carly: what day is it Ali: Tuesday Carly: sunday Carly: saturday Carly: idk Ali: fuck girl Ali: you shoulda been banking up on it before Carly: ha Carly: easy fix Carly: need my dealer Ali: not if your gonna be breastfeeding Ali: unless he gonna bring formula too Carly: i can go myself for that Carly: get a car Ali: you getting enough cash in, yeah? Carly: ha no Carly: no student loans for this bitch Ali: you'll have to look into getting help with that Ali: there's funds and shit, i'll find out the info Ali: that or tap Drew up for child maintenance Carly: yea cos hes declaring his earnings Carly: i wish hed talk to me Ali: exactly, bribe him like Ali: he's got a lot to lose Carly: hed never forgive me Carly: i cant Ali: but you can forgive him for all he does? Ali: got it bad honey Carly: yea Carly: its fucked Ali: is there anything he could do to make you stop loving him Carly: idk Carly: why Ali: cos you'd be happier if you didn't Ali: right Ali: like, he treats you like shit Carly: i wasnt happy before Carly: & he hasnt this whole time Carly: it got bad Carly: me too Ali: but you could be Ali: you don't have to give up hope of ever being Ali: and he did for the majority of the time though, that should outweigh the good Carly: with what Carly: this kid Carly: im not you Ali: no Ali: of being happy Ali: with just you Ali: or someone else who treats you better Carly: i dont have a job or friends here and i live in a caravan Carly: not gonna happen Ali: you can get both Ali: you're cool Carly: ha Carly: youre dreaming Carly: fucked the allnighter Ali: i'm not the only one Ali: and why not? Carly: drew says im a junkie Ali: what does he know Ali: and anyway, functioning junkie Ali: shits possible Carly: he knows me Carly: he loved me til i fucked it Ali: you haven't DONE anything Ali: a baby happened to you BOTH Ali: you're both reacting, right or wrong now, whatever Ali: and he probably still does but Ali: love ain't always enough Carly: why are you my friend? Ali: I said, you're cool Ali: funny, smart, nice, you already know i fancy you so no need to kiss arse any more, yeah? Ali: you're SO friendable, babe Carly: shoulda fallen for you Ali: yeah well, the tragedy of being straight and feelings not following logic Ali: sometimes, you gotta fuck feelings tho, do right by yourself Carly: i dont feel anything when he isnt here Carly: nothing happens Carly: cept today Ali: make stuff happen Ali: its only chaos darling Carly: youre not here either Carly: what am i gonna make happen on my own Carly: this shit Carly: idk Ali: what do you wanna make happen Ali: anything, however unlikely you think it is Carly: i want him to come back Carly: my parents too Carly: but none of them are Ali: can't control other people nah but you can do all YOU can to make it happen Ali: what would make him come back? who would he wanna be with? and you can try to talk to your 'rents and tell them what is up...longshot but maybe they don't realise how shitty they're being Carly: they're not Carly: theyre busy Carly: and im not a kid Ali: busy with what? Ali: living it up in spain? Ali: they kept you, you're their kid for life Ali: they don't get to peace at 16, 18 whatever the fuck Carly: they didnt vanish Carly: i know where they are Ali: yeah but they should be here rn Ali: you need them Ali: maybe if you ask, when they answer, they will come back Ali: i'm not slagging on 'em, its just facts Carly: i dont want to go live in spain Carly: fact is theyll try and force me Ali: well, they can't make ya, tell them why you wanna stay here Ali: they could still be supportive Ali: even if they're not physically with you every day like Carly: they wont let me stay for him Ali: okay...make something more parent friendly up then Ali: what they don't know won't hurt 'em Carly: youre so smart Ali: so i've been told Ali: with varying levels of sarcasm Carly: yea Carly: same Ali: You are though Ali: One of the many reasons we get along Carly: youre such a mum Carly: bigging me up like Ali: s'what i do best right Ali: shoulda been a cheerleader, fucking irish schools not letting me shine Carly: thats what schools do best Carly: be shit Ali: true dat Ali: even if my uni is pretty swish Ali: and full of nerds like me Carly: looks it Ali: still, miss the homeland like Carly: switch places Carly: shes crying again what does she want this time Carly: headfuck Ali: think its a bit too early for her to have shat, maybe wee but Ali: probably wanting her next feed Ali: you do it roughly every 2 hours for the first month Carly: ffs Carly: howd you get anything done with 3 of them Ali: ask myself the same question Ali: luckily they're not all on the tit 'cos form an orderly queue lads Carly: not getting my tit out again Ali: its that or formula run to get her to stop crying Carly: i cant put her in the car Carly: she'd fall out Ali: that solves that then honey Ali: get 'em out get 'em out get 'em out Carly: perv Ali: 🤷 Ali: single mum, gotta get my kicks where i can yo Carly: get fucked Carly: not offering Carly: one of the nerds would be up for it Ali: no need to tell me Ali: desperation station Ali: bless 'em Carly: do you go to class with your shoulders and knees out Ali: its boiling here, not even trying to be a shameless hussy Ali: can't be swooning erryday, got places to be, shitty bums to wipe Carly: yea Carly: cant steal that excuse myself Ali: sadly not Ali: can use breastfeeding though Ali: you're just out here feeding ya kid, looking hot as a by-product, fight me world Carly: don't Carly: how is this happening Carly: im looking at her and idk Ali: i can't believe you did it all by yourself Ali: you're a right tough nut Ali: but you don't have to keep doing it alone Carly: but i have to do something Carly: wtf Ali: yeah, keep both of yas alive until you figure out your next step Carly: make it sound simple Ali: 'course Ali: i'll allow you some melodrama but i can't claim hormones as hard Carly: u can Carly: and homesickness Ali: alright, lets have a good sob Carly: this kids done enough Carly: has you beat bitch Ali: rude Ali: already winning fresh out the womb Carly: what you naming it Carly: said you would Ali: you're serious? Carly: idc Ali: probs think on that a bit longer, whether you wanna name her or nah Ali: but my lists be ready don't fret Carly: k