#but yea idk something about being judged in a complete different way as soon as someone finds out english isn't your native language

[perilegs]

You often leave tags worrying about your English spelling and typos, which is ridiculous because you have better English grammar and correct spelling more than most first language English speakers

ahdjdk i know but ty, i appreciate hearing it!

[thisdreamplace]

Hey!

I met my sp almost 2 years ago (2019) and since then i fell in love with him. we went on some dates tho, he rejected me later. at that time i didn't know about the law so i reacted a lot to the 3D and manifested some 3rd parties and arguments with him. he blocked me tho and we went no contact. i found out about loa and it confused me a lot cause everyone said smth different. also i was focused on manifesting a text message rather than living in the end. altough i always tried to shift my focus, i lived in a lot of anxiety. also his social media acc is a trigger point and i try to avoid it for my best.

so he texted me in may 2020 and i was shaking so much (what a dumbass) and we messaged all night, it was some nasty sh*t. at the end of the chat he said that it was all a joke and that it was all his buddy. i felt so hurt and was so shaken up by the fact, that he played me like that? also really naive of me to let it go so far. so i went no contact and texted him one week later with alot anxiety. as u guess, he was so mean and told me some hurtful things. so i let him. i didn't know about neville back then. i went no contact, til he texted me in dec 2020, it was bc i saw his story) he apologized and he was really kind to me. we messaged again at night, but it was some fwb thing again. he told me he wanted to meet up but then he ghosted me. yea.. i texted him and he said he writes with another girl. and i was like "???" i told him good luck and went no contact.. he then unadded me a month later in jan 2021 which threw me away from my mental diet and so on.

What i am trying to say is that i am really disappointed that i can't seem to reach a point where he sees me more than a chick with a body. i wanted him to be interested in me, to show me love. to open up to me, a relationship! i tried all things, methods, meditations, sats. i am always feeling like i am not doing enough , i am searching for evidence i trigger myself with his socialmedia or some things that happened.

i dont know what went wrong. one thing that bothers me also is that he makes music and wants to gain fame which means that girls have his attention or he thinks he is something better. i also have a feeling of i can't reach him cause i feel like i am not that good for him. he is the kind of guy who had a hard life which messed him up.

also i am feeling nostalgic as soon as i am going somewhere. it's a feeling of " i rather be here with him than alone or with anybody else" time is also a factor which messes with my mind. i wanted to move away and idk how that will mess with my manifestation and his music career is also a thing which makes me anxious.

even now i am trying my best, but it seems like everyday is the same day. i wonder if our relationship will even happen..

i am not living in the old story, i just wanted to let it all out and u seem like a person who would get this. i hope u can give me some tips. i don't wanna sound dumb but yea my story is a bit messy. thank u for reading it, i appreciate ur time. u are my last hope!

Hey!!

Thanks for feeling free to share all of this. Sometimes it really does help just to get all this out, so you can continue moving forward freely.

The truth is, I can see where you went wrong clearly. In all honesty, your self concept has been neglected. And remember, when speaking of self concept it is much deeper than self esteem, but of course, why wouldn’t you want a high self esteem too? Anyway, you have put all of your effort into him. Every technique you did was for him, everything you have done has been entirely for him. And yet, the gag is, you are the one who has to change. He cannot possibly change without you having changed first. Because this is your reality and that’s just how the law works.

So, for example, all those times you took anything he’s willing to give you. You listed everything you wanted... but you quickly settled for less. What does that say about your self concept? It has nothing to do with him, although I know we do like to feel comfortable pointing the finger. When it comes to sp manifestations though, I will be completely honest in this way. There’s a big responsibility we have to take that may feel uncomfortable to do, since we are used to living in a world where people hurt us and we feel sad and blame them. We expect them to do something to make us feel better or we cut them off. Though, there is no one to blame here. There’s only full responsibility to take. There’s just you who will need to choose whether you are worth taking the responsibility of changing your life.

So all that being said, here’s some tips, based off what you said. Firstly, I would fully suggest you take a step back and focus on yourself. It’ll be scary, for sure. It’ll be uncomfortable, for sure. Especially because you spent so much time on him. But you have to be honest with yourself. Has that time paid off? The truth is, you have nothing to lose. Either things will stay the same or you will finally experience all you ever wanted to. But you must decide you are worth the risk of leaving those comforts behind.

So, as you focus on yourself you need to be thinking about how you see yourself in relation to the world, first. Are you worth it? Are you able to have anything you want? Are you limited or limitless? Do you see yourself as creator of your reality or a victim to your reality? Do what you need to do to begin answering these questions. You want to move into a state where you are able to answer positively to each of these questions. You do that through persistent practice. Through reminding yourself of who you truly are and how you can have anything you want. How you are worth all of the effort. How your desires are yours already, so you truly have nothing to worry about it. Remember, you do all this for you. Not for anyone or anything else.

As you get comfortable with your self concept and who you truly are as creator of your reality, you could allow yourself to start thinking of your sp again. Not as the center of your world, because you are already the center of the world. There is no one to change but self. But you can begin to lift him up in your mind, as you have lifted yourself up. You wrote exactly how you feel he is, and the truth is, if you continue seeing him like that he has no choice but to play that role. So, choose a new story. How is he really? He is successful in his music career and so what? He is so lucky to have you by his side. All those options you mentioned? They never meant anything, because you are the only one he wants. He doesn’t see anyone other than you. You are first best, you are the only best. He treats you like the God you already are. Because you have been God this entire time, and focusing on your self concept as the first step will help you to accept all these wonderful things about your sp.

I understand your feeling, of feeling nostalgic and just wanting to be with your sp. Let those feelings come up, don’t feel the need to run from them. They’re so valid. People in relationships still miss their person when they’re apart, no? It’s not a big deal. In fact, it’s important not to run from those feelings. Cry it out, throw a fit if you so feel the need to do so. Then brush yourself off and get back into your God energy. Because it’s always waiting for you, at all moments. The unconditional love that your Godself is, is always welcoming you in. You just have to remember to choose to allow yourself to feel it. Time seems so scary in the outer world, but the hard fact is you can be worried about time all day and it’s not going to change anything. So, benefit yourself and actively work on letting it go. Accept it’s not even real, no matter how much your ego will want to hold onto believing it is. Time isn’t running out, everything is happening perfectly Your relationship with your sp is yours and everything has it’s own appointed hour. All you have to do is accept it and allow yourself to enjoy the journey, or even dislike the journey some days if that’s what you’re feeling like. Stop judging everything and allow it to be instead.

You got this!! Hopefully you find this helpful. We all cannot wait to hear your lovely success story!! 💖

[selfcareparker]

okay fghsgdj yes you can say girl ! my pronouns are she/her :) okay but fr pause, i read this like 3 minutes after you posted it (or at least my notif said 3mins lmao) bUT IM IN BED AND I USUALLY HAVE MY COMPUTER OPEN WITH YOUR RESPONSE SO I MAKE SURE I ADDRESS EVERYTHING AND THEN SEND IN THE ASK ON MY PHONE HDGSJSH anyway, time to get my ass up 😔 but wait i find you so funny like honestly, reading that cracked me all the way up. and i feel the “lol” thing so hard!!!! idk why i do it all the time (i’m tryna stop) but i’ll say something with lol at the beginning and lol at the end... it might be a defense mechanism at this point lol (😔) AND (i need to stop with the uppercase too it’s not funny anymore) I DONT KNOW WHY I LAUGHED SO HARD JDHSK WHEN YOU SAID ALSO AGAIN HAHAHAH LIKE UR HAHHAH also my sleep schedule is not pretty either lmao but i’m homeschooled so i never have to get up for anything? hhdhsis idk but i’m glad you slept!! you need sleep!!

also (pls no i cannot) why did i not know what ykwim meant until i reread this?? like it makes so much sense- anyway! i think it’s so cool that you’re excited for university! idk why but i do lol like you’re getting ready for the future (masters degree and all that) & you’re (maybe) going to england anyway so that’s cool haha (hopefully when you go you can see your relatives 🤞🏾)

the fact that you get happy seeing my asks i- 💓💓

you make me wanna go to London & England so bad urghhhh like i’ve only been out of the country once (to Canada for a family reunion) but it sounds so prettyyyyy & i’m so sorry that cov*d is messing everything up and i hope you can see your relatives soon :(

now to address the whole english speaking/writing: I FIND THAT SO WEIRD DUHSKSJ i don’t know how an english speaking person could say that if you don’t write it 100% grammatically correct.... that it’s wrong? when literally, over here at least, WE’RE SO GRAMMATICALLY INCORRECT HAHHAAH in both the way we talk and write!! and lol you’re welcome,, AND THE PARAGRAPH DID MAKE SENSE HDHSJSH & your rant is fine because... that is actually a bit ??? bc no one writes with 100% grammar lol

OH MY GOSH (see this uppercase thing is addictive) YOU STUDIED LATIN FOR 6 YEARS??? that’s really cool 🥺 the way that you know/speak 3+ languages i- NOT EVEN 3+ LIKE 6+ (german, english, latin, french, serbian, italian, and everything that comes with latin lmao) even if it’s just a tiny bit like wowee. it is really fascinating!!! i had the opportunity to take latin and i... didnt. i took art instead BUT ONLY CUZ MY FRIENDS WERE IN THAT CLASS AND ART LOOKED FUN IM SORRY

PLEASE WHY DO YOU KNOW EVERYONE?? that sounds so fricking cool tell your mom (mum or mama it’s really fine lol) that she sounds awesome. i think Jamaica would be fun either way!! i mean it looks pretty from pictures? i was a baby so i honestly have no recollection hahaha

LMAOO NOT U SAYING THIS IS LONGER THAN SOME OF MY FICS- PLEASE GIRL IM TELLING YOU I VERBALLY LAUGHED HAHAHAHAHAH but yea you really don’t need to apologize i like reading everything you say 🥺 HDKSHS AND UR FINE WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT ME BEFORE uhhh hmm uhh lemme think i, well, i saw chaos walking yesterday (big tom holland fan over here) and it was alright.. my mom acted a fool at all the jump scares LMAO but it was funny... since i’m talking about movies (this is hella random i know) but i like shark movies HDKJSSJ my favorite is the meg (it’s so good ohmigosh) and the 47 meters down movies aren’t bad either... i have two younger brothers... iiiii AM IN LOVE WITH MUSIC PHEW anddd i’m homeschooled (i think i mentioned that lol) i think that’s a good amount ahahaha AND IM HUNGRY RN JDHSJ

now. please. let me address the edit. i just want you to know that.. when i talk about your fics and i finish them and everything i’m not looking for more? like obviously if you’re writing i’m gonna read it but you don’t need to feel pressured or anything (idk if you do) to put more fics out lol like they’re great and i’m just sending the praise bc i love the ones that are there :’) but i’m so happy you’re working through your writers block!!! yay so so happy for you!!! and PUHLEASE anything you write is fantastic, i feel the exact same way when i write but girl. you’re fine. it’s gonna be great. (idk if this made any sense but... okay)

(and my cousin calls her mom mama so it’s really okay hahah i even call my mom mama sometimes) (and where you got the number “16 sentences” beats me but i still cracked up) (is this me pretending i had tags? maybe) HAHAHAHA OK BYE ❤️❤️ why did this take me so long to send i have no clue, AND WHY AM I OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING I SAID SHAJSHSJ ANYWAY BYE btw i love us too... like iconic // lovely anon 💓

me reading this:

also the dedication you put into sending me stuff— like with the laptop and phone and ahsksk 🥺🥺🥺

i’ll update you when i’ve started uni btw, i’m getting more and more excited every single day haha but i still have 3 weeks until it starts and even then I’ll obviously have to get used to it and everything, but you’re making me even more excited about it sksjshsg

yeah i wanna go to england too dkshsh let’s be sad together over the fact the we can’t travel eksjsh😔😭 but hopefully the wait will make it even better in the end <33 also i talk to loads of relatives over the phone at least once a week so it’s not too bad for me! but i miss their house 😭lmao

and i knowww snshsh so many native english speakers just make so many mistakes— and obviously i get that some things are slang but some things are simply wrong ajsh, the thing is no one has ever told me that my english is bad (i know it’s not bad anyway, but i’m still insecure) or no one has ever pointed out any mistakes, but yeah it’s mostly just insecurity dkshsg but yes thanks for saying what you said (previously as well as in this ask)😌🥰

Okay now for latin— girlll i don’t blame u for choosing art over latin esp. when all of your friends are doing art as well!! I’d choose art over latin as well lol skshsg but in year 6 we had to choose between latin and french, and at the time i didn’t like french? which was dumb of me and now i wanna learn french ekdhs but i don’t regret choosing latin at all bc if i properly learn french one day then i’ll already know understand loads of stuff (or at least some stuff lol) just thanks to latin 😌😌 but still, art>>>latin skskshshgs

I wanna watch chaos walking too!!! But i don’t get when/where/how it’s out lmao, cinemas are still closed here so i’ll either have to wait or find it somewhere online... il*egally 🥰 i don’t have high expectations at all btw but i like daisy and tom and the dog🥺 so i think i’ll enjoy it

GIRL SHARK FILMS SHARK FOLMS SKSJSHSHS okay so there are a few classics i haven’t watched yet, and also a few new ones that i haven’t seen yet BUT I LOVE SHARK FILMS SO MUCH SKSHSGSGSKK the first like proper shark film i ever watched was the shallows (which i like but my brain is still too small to comprehend what happened at the end (i mean i get it but i just can’t imagine it— idek if you’ve seen the film but skshhs)) and after watching it three times it does get a bit boring (but now whenever i see pictures or videos of big waves i’m just waiting for a shark to show up like come ON SKSJSG

^^^that pic/scene really traumatised me sksjsh but i still like the film

I only watched jaws like a few months ago, and i get that it’s a classic and also that it’s old and they just didn’t have the best.. equipment or special effects or whatever but i mean... look at meg and then look at jaws.... no disrespect to jaws at ALL but the meg is so much cooler. (That one scene on the boat where the shark just JUMPS OUT OF THE WATER AND SKSJSHHSUSJHA i get such a shock every time it’s so good (and the dog aww aksjshssli 🥺🥺🥰 and the boy with the ice cream lmao he’s iconic)

47 metres down, wow, i liked that film too. (i’ve only watched the original/first one i think) i mean that is such a fucking nightmare scenario like ALSJDHSNEMSKDJSHSJSKWBALSODUEWBSLDKHDJSNSKSKSHSGEBWKAISGSHEKEKSKLDJDJDHDHSHAGGA (that’s the best way i can express my feelings about that scenario lmao)

oh and i’ve recently been watching more horror films but i don’t know if they’re for me... I like the thrill and whatever but i just end up being scared for my life when i have to go to the bathroom at night or when i’m trying to sleep bc suddenly my mind is flooded with all the scary shit from the films 💀💀💀

and music i mean... you know those people who just don’t listen to music? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???? i honestly like all genres especially in the last year, i am IN LOVE with Nicki Minaj + Megan andddd Stormzy and i like Harry Styles but i prefer his first solo album (and obviously one direction has bangers i have a throwback 1D session at least once a month), I also love MGK especially his new stuff and otherwise i mostly listen to german artists lmao. So who do you like?💖 (WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOURE GONNA SAY SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SKAHAGUS IF YOU LISTEN TO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT MUSIC DONT JUDGE ME AJSHDJS) (i know you’re not gonna judge me but)

++ @ the thing you said about writing, don’t worry, i don’t feel pressured at all!!! (not by you and not by anybody else.. except myself sometimes lol) and i’m just very happy that you liked my fics 🥰🥰🥰 and if i start telling people that i’m writing a fic then sometimes it puts a bit of (healthy) pressure on me. like yes sometimes it really is writer’s block, but sometimes i really am just lazy ddkshhd so now that i’ve told you i’m writing a fic i might get my ass up quicker than i would if i hadn’t told anyone 😌😌😌

[camistired]

the peculiar one

chp. 1 // an emotional beginning

not edited

december 31, 2018

word count: 2671

song: alice by avril lavigne

—

On this particular humid summer day, I find myself asking the same question I always ask myself when I know it's not going to go anywhere good.

‘Why am I here?’

Four simple words that I usually used as an excuse to not move from under my comforter. Four simple words that I used to stay in room and read a couple of my mom's old journal entries. Four simple words that don't mean anything simple.

But today, they weren't going to do much and change my plans.

For the entire summer after I learned that I was able to attend public school again, I've been trying to work on getting a better habit of actually doing things and not being locked in my room. And today was no exception.

I lazily raise my head from the pillow and begrudgingly climb out of bed. I grab my towel off of my chair before trudging into my bathroom. I quickly strip from my sweats, baggy shirt, and undergarments before hopping into the warm water of the shower.

I don't know what I was going to do today. I knew that both Lila and Mar were going to be busy at work and the only person home was going to be Dannie, who usually minded his own business.

With a silent, frustrated sigh I began wash myself with body wash that was scented to smell like cherry blossoms. I don't know how or why I was attracted to the smell but I didn't do much questioning of it.

I stuck my head under the water, letting my purplish tinted silver hair get drenched with the pellets of the warm water. I wipe the water from my eyes, contemplating on whether to wash my hair or not. Deciding against it, I turned the water off and climb out into the bathroom. I wrap myself in my towel before walking back into the main part of my room.

I walk over to my dresser before pulling out a thin black and white plaid shirt, black jean shorts, and a grayish blue t-shirt. I started getting dress as I hum softly under my breath. I was slipping on my plaid shirt as three quick raps were heard at the door. I move to open the door to see Daniel, his face pale from the blood that drained his face.

“What's wrong, Danny?” I ask, slightly concerned for my brother. He quickly hands me his phone before running into his room, probably to get something.

I look down at the phone in my hands and look at the messages between him and Lila;

From Lila: hey, is Alex up? I've been texting but I'm not getting anything.

From Daniel: she's in the shower, why?

From Lila: it's about dad. his brain activity is working alarmingly unusual

they don't know if something is seriously wrong or if he's waking up

From Lila: hold on, let me call you

My breath hitches as I read the conversation. I quickly slip on a pair of high tops and practically ran down the stairs. Daniel was waiting patiently by the door ready to go.

I handed him back his phone as I turn to open the door only to be greeted with the face that I feel like is always judging me.

“Alice..! What a surprise... What're you doing here?” I force out in a cheerful tone. I never had much family that was around, and I should be greatful for Alice being here, but I feel like the person I read about and the person I see almost everyday is two different people.

“Lillian called and told me about Michael, so I'm here to take you guys to the hospital.” Her tone was strict and left no room to say no, but there was a certain tenderness behind it that would be hard to notice if you were anyone else.

I sigh, knowing I couldn't argue much with the woman in front of me, “Alright, come on let's go.”

She has a small victorious smile on her face as she moves towards the car.

I sigh and look at Daniel who just shrugs and skips towards the car. I roll my eyes and close the door behind me and locking it before getting into the back of Alice's car, seeing as Betty was sitting patiently and bored in the front seat. The engine roared as she switched the gearshift to drive and pulled out the driveway.

As we drew closer to the hospital the knot in my stomach tightened and my breathing sped up into quiet tiny pants. I look out the window to, hopefully, calm my nerves. And, unfortunately, the silence in the car isn't helping one bit. I silently prayed for someone to say something before we get there, but something tells me it isn't going to happen anytime soon.

I felt a small pat on my leg and I look up to see Daniel looking at me with some sort of assurance. I smile softly at him and I rub his shoulder to try and reassure him that I'm okay, but I can tell it does little to nothing to comfort him.

I felt my phone vibrated in my pocket and I pull it out to see it was from Jughead. My nerves calm down a little, but not much. I open the text from my best friend;

From Juggy: hey are you not at home?

no one's opening the door and it's

locked

From Lexi: wowow you show up my

house without notice? and think

you can casually waltz into it like

you own the place?

From Juggy: yea, cause i know you

don't care

From Lexi: what if i was in the shower, eh?

From Juggy: didn't your mom used to make us take baths together when we younger?

From Lexi: we were two and we dragged mud throughout the house. she didn't care at that point

From Lexi: plus we're OLDER now. we might as well be dating if you walked in on me showering

From Juggy: uh-huh

From Juggy: you know you love me

From Lexi: sure

From Lexi: omg, im going to die

From Juggy: im missing the picture here, you're going to die from what?

From Lexi: i can't tell. it's either this thick awkward tension or my anxiety

From Juggy: im still very confused

From Lexi: im on my way to the hospital but im stuck in a car with Danny, Betty, and Alice

From Juggy: alright, i'll meet you there

From Lexi: huh?

From Juggy: idk why you're heading to the hospital, but your stuck in a car with two people you don't know if they hate you or not, so that tells me that it is important

by itself alone

From Juggy: so, i'll meet you at the

hospital

From Juggy: don't know when i'll get there, so good luck until then

The car takes a sharp turn into a free parking spot and before the car jerks to a complete stop, I already had my seat belt off and was sprinting out of car and into the building. I stop myself from going into the room and stop at the receptionist.

“Hi, I'm just double checking, but Michael Nelson is still in room 22-C, correct?” I ask as she checked on her computer for the correct room number.

She nods and looks at me, “Yes he is, miss. Go right ahead.”

“Thank you so much, have a good day.” I rush out before heading down the corridor to the right room that I've been in so many times. I stop at the door and I contemplate going inside for a moment. My hand subconsciously raises up and grasp the door knob before I can even think about what was happening. It was at that moment, I knew I didn't need to think much longer.

I twisted my wrist until I hear the door make a soft 'click'. I pushed the door open and took in the sight in front of me. Lila was sitting at the end of the bed uncomfortable looking bed, her words falling silent in my ears as she talks to the man laying down, who was being covered by a curtain in the room.

I walk in the bland room, the door closing softly behind me. I stalk towards the bed to be greeted with a pair of pale eyes that I'm so used to be closed. My breath gets caught in the back my throat as a small gasp echos through the seemingly empty room. His eyes lock with mine and in a blur of a second, my arms are wrapped around the males neck and quiet whimpers fall from my lips as small tears fall from my eyes.

The feeling of his arms wrapping around my waist to return the embrace made me completely lose it; crocodile tears, full on sobbing, and clinging on to him tighter - scared that the moment I loosen the hold I have on him, he'll leave me again.

I hear the sound of swift footsteps entering the room through my crying as I let out all of my emotions on this one man that I thought I had lost for the rest of my life. The feel the bed shift and more footsteps before the door closes. I'm suddenly pulled closer and I'm, now, laying on the fragile man you seems to not even give a care in the world that I'm laying on him.

For a moment, I felt like the little girl who laid on her dad all those years ago;

“Daddy..?” I coughed out as the toxic smoke filed out of the exploded glass from our previously beloved family home. A younger Daniel laid on the grass, silently asleep and unhurt. My dad had a cut on his temple and was breathing heavily yet very, very slowly.

I laid my had on his chest hearing his faint heartbeat. I prayed silently that he'd wrap his arms around me. Even with his skin basically burned from the fire, he seemed cold as ice. And I did the only thing I knew to do at the time.

I screamed for my dad. But he was to far gone to reply.

I don't even know how long even been laying there, but I've eventually stopped crying and he started running his fingers through my hair. I felt comfortable when I heard the door open and close. I realized that I was probably being selfish and slowly got off of him, wiping my eyes. I look up to see that Daniel and Lila had walked in.

They look at me and smile genuinely at me. Lila looks down over Daniel and ushers him towards dad. He walks over to him and hugs his torso. I stare at the fourteen year old as the tension slowly eases from his shoulders. I didn't even realize that my sister was standing next to me until she wrapped her arm around my shoulders, making me jump a little.

She chuckles softly and looks at me, “Jughead is waiting out in the hall with the Cooper girls. Want me to let him in?”

I stifle my laugh at the thought of poor Jughead standing in the hall with Alice and Betty. Okay maybe being with Betty, not so bad, but Alice is pretty bad. I nod at her as she let's her arm fall and goes to get Jug.

I shrug my bag off my shoulders and open it and see the worn journal sitting in there from the last time I went out to Sweetwater River. I pull it out and examine the torn leather. I look up and to see Daniel talking to dad about whatever, but the look on both of their faces made me smile softly. I see a mop of midnight hair under a familiar beanie in my peripheral vision, making me smile a little.

I turn towards him and I feel a bit more relaxed, especially knowing that he's here to help even when I don't need to ask. A part of me even felt giddy that he decided to come here instead of go to Pop's or something. Maybe it's just the relief that he came here without me even saying anything or even asking.

Maybe.

He wraps an arm around me in a side hug, which threw me off slightly but I returned the hug regardless. It was comforting to know that he was still by my side especially since we've known each other's practically since birth and he hasn't gotten sick of me yet.

Dad looked up and greeted Jug with a smile. My best friend returned the gesture before sitting in a chair on the side of the room were on. Soon we caught him up on everything.

His face fell solemn after we've informed him that mom was still missing and that the sheriff's office said they needed to step away from the case. It was still open – barely – and if they found new information, it would be added to it. However, they said that years ago. If they, or anyone, doesn't find anything soon, I'm sure they are going to close the case and it'll be an unsolved mystery.

Suddenly Lila's phone started ringing. She looked at the screen and smiled softly before answering it, bringing the speaker to her ear.

“Hey, babe. How's everything at the shop go-? What?” I watch her movements as she went from happy and calm to concerned and frigid, “Mar-Marlene! Slow down, I can't understand you.”

She turned towards me and Jug before turning forward again, “Okay, okay... I don't think I can go down there right now, I'm here with dad. How about I send Jughead and Alexandria there instead, will that be okay? .....Alright. I love you. Bye.”

I look at Jug and he shrugs, just as confused as I was. Lila hung up and turned towards us, “Something happened down at Sweetwater River. I hate asking you two to go, but I have to finish up here, then help Danny to get back home and go back to the shop– it's just a mess right now and I need someone down there with Mar.”

She ran her hand through her dark colored hair as she avoided looking at the males behind her. The worried line creased in her face made me sigh softly before nodding to ease her mind a little.

“Yeah we can go.” I can see the relief wash ovee her as I stand up and shrug my bag back over my shoulder as Juggy does the same. She engulfs me in a tight hug, mumbling ‘thank you’ to me before letting me go.

I walk out of the room with the raven haired boy after saying ‘bye’ to dad and Dan. Not realizing that after I left the room that mom's journal fell out of my bag onto the floor of dad's hospital room.

As we trudged towards Sweetwater River, the sound of sirens in the distance made me start to worry with each step we took towards the river I've began to love to find quiet. As we approach, we scan over the people which seemed to be the whole town.

I find Marlene, who is hyperventilating away from the crowd. I tighten my grip on my bag and jog towards her, not really caring if Jug followed me or not. I place my hand on her shoulder and she flinches, whipping her head towards me before she physically relaxes.

“Mar, what is going on?” I ask softly, removing my hand from her shoulder as the runs her hand through her hair.

“It's the Blossom's. Something's happened to Jason.”

And it was at this moment, that I swore that history may have just repeated itself.

[latina4bangtan]

Let’s Make a Deal pt. 8

“Go apologize to your wife for being an ass” 

Namjoon's POV

It had been a few days since the fight with (y/n) and somehow in those few days so much had changed. All she did was stay in the guest room and if by some chance you actually saw her she didn't even bother to look at you. Even when she did she had a blank look on her face.

As much as you hated to admit it.....you fucked up.

"So what do you think?"

"About?"

"Dude have you even been listening for the past 10 min?" Jhope said.

It was then that you remembered where you were and what you were suppose to be doing. The fog that had been covering your mind seemed to have lifted and you were now seated at the head of a table surrounded by your friends.

"I've got a lot on my mind" was all you could say.

"Yea well we all do so why don't we ALL try to focus. Besides aren't you the one who called this meeting" Suga had said slightly annoyed.

Namjoon began to take notice of all the men who sat beside him. All six of these men had a major role in the operation that Namjoon had been running for the past 5 years. More than that these 6 guys were the best friends he'd had for many years

Jin was in charge of the legal aspects of the operation making sure the law didn't interfere and when it did....let's just say everyone wanted Jin to be their legal representation. He had never lost a case and didn't expect to any time soon.

Suga and Jungkook were in charge of shipments that were to be brought in to the country and distributed. They both  made sure everything always went according to plan.

Taetae and Jimin always worked as a team when it came to security. They worked together to make sure everything was safe and secure.....their plans their money but most importantly their friends

As for Jhope he worked a little of everything. He was pretty much Namjoon's right hand man.

"You're right I did so I'm sorry for zoning out now let's talk. The other night at the party Samuel was there and as I was walking out he had said something that didn't sit well with me and I wanted to bring it to your attention."

"What was it?" Jimin said now looking straight at Namjoon .

"He had asked about (y/n) and when I told him that she wasn't any concern of his he said something about people  from LA sticking together."

"Wait what? No one is suppose to even know that she's from LA all they're suppose to know is that she's from the states." Jungkook said growing slightly irritated. He was one of the men who worked on making sure that no one knew more about (y/n) than was necessary.

"So I'm assuming now you understand my concern. I don't want him anywhere near her is that understood. Not him not any of his men.....no one......do whatever it takes to make sure this is accomplished. He's up to something and I've got a bad feeling he's going to use her to his advantage."

"How do you know she isn't involved?" Jin had been quiet for most of the meeting but it was his basic instinct that made him question every possible scenario. This is what made him so good in a courtroom.

"I just do. She wouldn't have sacrificed everything she knew by marrying me just to put her family in danger again. She's smarter than that."

"Well I've never had reason to question your judge of character so I'll let it go...." and that's exactly what jin did.

"Are there any abnormalities when it comes to our shipments with Samuel's group as of now?"

"No." Was all Suga said.

"Good let's keep it that way if he doesn't suspect us let's not give him a reason to until we have more information on what he's planning."

All of the men gave a slight nod in agreement.

"As always I appreciate all that you do. Please enjoy your weekends....as you normally do." Namjoon said with a slight smirk. He knew his friends all too well and knew they would be getting into some fun trouble.

"You used to join us in these fun weekends if I remember correctly. How sad you're not so wild anymore now that you're all married and what not." Tae said with a little bit of a giggle.

"Yea I guess some things change. You guys have fun though but please don't make me bail you out of jail again." Namjoon said as a smile threatened to spread across his face.

Just as the boys were heading out Namjoon noticed that Jhope had stayed back.

"Some things really do change don't they?" He said.

"What do you mean?"

"You're changing...Earlier when you said you had a lot on your mind it was her wasn't it."

"Come on Hobi I run a major operation 24/7 not to mention keeping you guys busy isn't always so easy ya know." You say with a small chuckle avoiding the question.

"Not saying that isn't true but it never caused you to be distracted from a meeting before. Only thing thats changed recently is (y/n) coming into your life. So stop being a bitch and avoiding the question it was her right? What you do??? Did you piss her off....again?"

Ugh you knew he wasn't going to let it go and if you couldn't talk with him then who?

"The other night at the party Brie showed up and caused some problems. Long story short me and (y/n) end up fighting about it....I said some fucked up stuff and....idk something's changed in her."

"What do you mean?"

"She's normally not one to back down...not even to me but now it's like she's lost that about her. She's just...different."

"You better watch that girl."

"Why?"

"I've known you for what seems like forever along with the rest of the guys. You've never let any woman get to you like this.....All I'm saying is you better watch it friend or you're going to end up falling for your wife."

"Whatever"

Jhope gave you a small laugh and on his way out yelled back you.

"Go apologize to your wife for being an ass!" ————————————————— (Y/N)POV

You were in the guest room trying to take your mind off of your situation but nothing was helping. Every time you tried to distract yourself you would end up replaying the fight you had had with Namjoon. You didn't know why but that fight was staying with you.

Maybe it was because you both had said some pretty harsh things.

Honestly you weren't entirely sure.

What you did know is that something had to change or you both were going to pay for it in the end.

You almost completely jumped out of your skin when you heard a knock on the bedroom door.

Opening the door you expected to see Seonhwa but to your complete surprise you actually saw Namjoon.

"Hey" was all he said.

"Hi"

"Can I talk with you?"

"Ummm yea" you say stepping aside so he could enter the room.

You watched him come in and sit on the bed. Once he had sat down he motioned next to him for you to also take a seat. Awkwardly you did.

"Sooooo what did you wanna talk about?"

"C'mon (y/n) we both know what this is about."

"Ok we'll go on" you say in the nicest way possible...you didn't want to fight anymore so you were trying to tone down the attitude.

"See this right here this is not ok."

What? He was being really confusing.

"What do you mean?"

"You're not acting like yourself.....you haven't been yourself since the night of the party."

"Im not trying to be a smart ass when I say this but Namjoon you don't really know me to say that I'm not acting like myself."

".....you're right I don't really know you. However what I do know is that you just locking yourself in the guest room isn't like you. Every time I've said something that's annoyed you or made you mad you've always had a smart ass remark and have always defended yourself. Now it seems like you're scared to even be in the room with me...like I said it's not like you."

".....I'm not scared of you....I just don't want to continuously fight with you....it's draining and honestly I don't think either one of us can keep this up for much longer...so I figured the best thing was for us to keep our distance from one another."

"You're right something has to change...but not you.....look that night I didn't handle the situation in the best way. Other things happened that night after you left that made me upset and unfortunately I took it out on you and said some pretty messed up things.....for that I'm sorry."

Did you just hear KIM NAMJOON apologize to you. You couldn't help the smile that took over your face.

"Who would have thought that Kim Namjoon was a softy." You couldn't help giving him a hard time.

To your amazement he gave you a small smile and also laughed.

"Ahhh there's the smart ass within you...I knew she was still there.....don't go tell anyone though."

"I am not a smart ass..lol don't worry though your secret is safe with me....but if we're being honest I shouldn't have kept pushing the situation all it did was escalate everything so I'm also sorry."

"We both played a part. Let's just move on from it ok?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Alright so now can you get out of the guest room."

"I can do that..."

"We have more to talk about but let's do that tomorrow for now let's get some sleep."

For the first time since you met Namjoon you finally got a little bit of hope that maybe you were going to be ok.