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sapphiredhearts-a · 2 years ago

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GET TO KNOW THE AUTHOR.

name: Jo

pronouns: she / her

preference of communication: probably DMs on the dash although I don't mind discord I just tend to be slower on there . Of course , DMs at all give me anxiety so sometimes I just get slow and don't respond right away because being perceived even through like 1 on 1 conversation freaks me out idk .

most active muse: this literally changes every day . right now I'm reading pjo again and have a bunch of greek mythos muse . but I tend to always have high muse for twilight / thg muses - probably because I have been down bad for twilight since the start of my rp career and thg I've developed so much in my head sldkfj.

experience/how many years: too long man . so I started way back on myspace in 2009 with a random renesmee blog - but it was very short lived because I ran into this huge twilight group and turned her into an oc named chloe lucas . eventually , the person who vacated a brady fuller profile offered up the entire edited page for whoever wanted it so I took it over and entered into some of the best times of my life . I fell in love with brady ( & a ship I had on there which was so angsty and just lsdkfj ) and ended up writing analee ( now analeigh here ) ateara , kim connweller , and I'm sure some others I'm forgetting . any way the mun behind part of my brady ship introduced me from there to tumblr and I joined a pjo rpg group as cora ( a daughter of demeter ) . from there the biggest tumblr group moment was mushu's daughter in a disney group named faith who I adored & I dilly-dallied around on here in groups until the same mun that brought me here ( miss you so much skdlfj ) introduced me to indie . and I've been stuck in the indie hell-hole for years . I started out with just a single muse jacob blog ( spaceheatcr - sigh I loved that blog ) and then eventually came around to the idea of multi-muses and here I am .

best experience: I'd have to say the first twilight group ( twilight teams - it was so cute you were " team forks " or " team la push " or " team volturi " or " team nomad " depending on who you wrote / where they lived ) on myspace because I met hella lifelong friends that I still have on facebook etc and it made me fall in love with writing / expressing & developing different muses . also the disney group I was in on here ( back to disney I think it was called ? it was a boarding school type for disney character's kids and SO cute and the admins were all so sweet I cry ) was amazing and just wholesome . and then spaceheatcr my jacob single muse because I also made lots of friends ( hales literally brought me back for this blog so I mean come on ) and idk.

rp pet peeves: bothering me over plots I don't agree with / if I block you / don't follow you / don't respond in time in a pestering way . I don't mind a hey is this thread still going if it's been awhile but I've had a few instances where people just were icky over like my time and availability . it makes writing a chore for me and that's when I usually go on hiatus . also, there is a reason I usually do mains and not exclusives on indie blogs . I had a horrid experience with a ship where the mun literally followed me onto here from myspace and acted super clingy / possessive over a male muse of mine ( i won't go into details this isn't a call-out but still ) and would like get jealous / angry ooc if he interacted with any other people in any ship way / close way etc etc etc and just all this other shit so yeah, I'm on indie for a reason - I enjoy exploring multiple ships ( not even just romantic but ya know ) and universes and aus and what have you so like - idk, exclusives are not my thing and mainly bc of that . I'm so scared of that happening again .

plots or memes: memes are the best way to get ideas rolling in my head because sometimes I just hit a block with plots and also idk where to go with new people ? mostly because I feel awkward and don't wanna suggest things and like offend or upset anyone so it's always a good idea just to either attack me with plots or memes lol. most of the time I'll say yes - esp now that I have a ship page for canon up for my thoughts on them and have some headcanons rolling for my own canon views .

long or short replies: this honestly depends entirely on my muse and not on my partner at all . sometimes short replies have to happen to transition . sometimes short replies are all I can come up with because my muse is fighting me . and sometimes I go stupid and crazy and give you a novella . it's literally all me not you sdlkfj and will vary within threads and memes for the same muses depending . so never be discouraged !!!

are you like your muse: I have so many muses - a lot of them I am drawn to because there is something I see in them that I guess is like me ? some are not like me at all tbh . I guess it all depends on who we're talking about . I try to have variety so idk .

tagged by : slightly stolen from @divienity tagging : all of you !!

#☾ ` out of my mind ; ooc post .

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kobblefort · 2 years ago

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Rushsly: Into the Depths 4

I'm interested in this guy for some reason. He just became a Swordmaster, and he seems like kind of a dick.

Sorry for another slow update. I've been playing Cataclysm: Dark Days Ahead, easily the second greatest simulation game of all time. It took a while for me to actually get into, but as you might have already surmised, I don't particularly loathe the idea of having to study a video game in order to play it. I was trying to get back into Caves of Qud recently as well, but for some reason I just haven't quite been able to find the fun in that one as easily as I can with CDDA - I know I'm probably missing something, but it just feels a little bit too combat-focused to me, whereas CDDA feels so much more centered around its two unfathomably massive but surprisingly accessible crafting menus that just blast my brain with dopamine every time I open them, and I am the kind of pervert who gets more endorphins from "building a brazier and figuring out how to heat up a can of beans in a video game" than "blowing up a guy's head with my psychic powers." Of course, Caves of Qud is incredibly good, and I'll happily affix my seal of recommendation to it as well. Regardless, this is not a blog about either of those games (though don't be surprised if I end up sneaking a little CDDA interlude in later down the line - probably when Rushsly meets its terrible end) so let's get back to the greatest simulation game of all time Dwarf Fortress.

ALSO IF YOU WANT TO GET INTO C:DDA, DON'T BUY IT ON STEAM LOL. IT'S A FREE AND OPEN SOURCE GAME. ONLY ONE OF THE MANY DEVS EVEN GETS ANY MONEY FROM STEAM SALES AND IT'S THE EXACT SAME VERSION AS THE STABLE BRANCH WHICH IS AVAILABLE FOR FREE. I mean I guess if you already like the game and just really want to pay $20 for Steam achievements then whatever I'm not a cop, but if you're just haphazardly tossing money around like that, you should throw some at me too, because I have barely any food in my house, $3.12 to my name, and am about to run out of cigarettes.

112 new bedrooms are all but complete, and thus need a bit of smoothing and engraving so that any new migrants don't feel ripped off. So many bags have been made and so much sand has been collected that getting all the furniture made and placed took hardly any time at all, helped along by the ridiculous amount of glass doors I made early on because I hate having to worry about doors.

Bunnies are here for some reason. We don't have much to export and they probably don't have anything we want, but whatever, I can whip them up some gold crafts real quick I suppose. The first thing anyone makes is...

a little figurine of a lapine killing a kobble. Well, okay. Yeah they can have that I guess

Down below, the forgotten beast creeps a little too close to the main caverns stairwell for comfort. It shouldn't be able to get in, at least not without making a racket far enough away from the civilians, but the military heads right back to their station. A fifteen-day leave is admittedly pretty short, but...

Well, the fate of these olm men who were hiding in wait is more than enough justification to get back to work.

It seems to have quite literally burned all its fat away. I remember when I was a kid I kept trying to look up "how to do a liposuction on yourself at home" and I never got any satisfying answers, the general consensus seemed to be don't do that, why the fuck would you do that, are you insane? so I just sort of gave up. I have always been pretty fat, even when I lifted weights every day, hell there was a time when I was snorting ritalin every day and only eating a small meal once every two or three, and I still had some pronounced titties. I'm reasonably active now and still have entire weeks at a time where I only eat one meal a day, but it never seems to go away. Being teased for having fat fucking boobs as a kid was probably the origin of several fetishes that still ravage my mind to this day but it's fine. Having a girlfriend say "your boobs are bigger than mine" definitely didn't do something very weird to my brain. I'm normal and have only the normal amount of body dysmorphia that makes you see your weight written down at a physical and go "wait, is that right?" because I was expecting to be 70 pounds heavier than that, and I don't resent my skinny fuck friends with such fast metabolisms that they can eat 4 entire family-sized bags of potato chips a day and still lose weight while my body takes days on end to digest a single small bowl of salad. It's totally fine because high school is over and has been over for a long time and I didn't get to be beautiful like I wanted and that's fine. I hardly even loathe myself for my appearance anymore, I've grown into kind of a chubby Adonis whose somber beauty would stun everyone he passed on the street if he ever let down his hair. I won't, of course, because I am deeply terrified of being made an object of desire, and other weird people don't bother me at all anymore when I tie my long hair up and hide it under a hat, besides maybe a guy who's piss drunk loudly talking to himself about how he could beat everyone in this train station's ass at 11 in the morning and gets strangely entranced by the bright warm color of your sweatshirt like a fucking bull. But that's fine too. You just don't make eye contact or look his way or even give any kind of recognition that he even exists. Oops, but for some reason he walked all the way over to get on the same train car as you, even though you specifically walked away from him! Just sit down and stare out the window until you lose aggro. Pause the music in your headphones so you can hear him talk about how tough he is and watch everyone else on the entire train try just as hard as you to not acknowledge him. At one point you catch him seeing his own reflection in the mirror and talking to it like another person. Don't worry, he'll get off in just a couple stops. Why was he taking the train while sipping straight off an open bottle of liquor before noon? Where is he going? Just let these questions slip away from your mind as you unpause the album you've listened to 80 times already. You will cross paths with several hundred other people today, but this is the only one you'll remember, and his drunk ass will DEFINITELY not remember you. Does that make you feel big, or does it make you feel small?

I have kind of a ballsy plan to deal with this particular beast, and make a bulwark against future ones: digging fortifications into the caverns will let my marksbolds fire... at least somewhat safely, I hope. I'm going to find out the hard way whether it can blast fire into the fortifications, but I at least know for sure we can blast bolts out of them.

As that gets put together, we get a BIG migrant wave - 22 in all, and quite a few animals with them. I'll go inspect them later, this project is a bit nerveracking.

We'll start with just one tile - that way, if it can fire back, we at least won't have put any more civilians in harms way than we absolutely had to.

One of the newbies, Syl Destinedechoes. I'm so nervous it's starting to hurt my stomach

IT'S WORKING!!!!!!!!!

And slowly but safely, Rushsly gains its second Beast Slayer, Vala Knitpolish.

It means nothing to her. Well, I'm sure she'll feel better about it once she gets a fancy new bedroom. Oh, and a statue -

In the midst of the chaos, I decided Ace Steel's room would look even better with a statue, so I had a gold one commissioned of her chopping the forgotten beast Murlu's head off. Either way, Vala's fond of zinc, which is a metal we haven't actually used at all yet, but it's no bother at all to go crack into a couple sphalerite veins for a hero.

We can only hope it improves her outlook on life; the game lists her at the most neutral possible emotional state, "content," but her personality tab stating that "she doesn't really care about anything anymore" is kind of sad - any kobble should be overjoyed to have killed a forgotten beast. Maybe she thought the way we did it was too cheesy? Well, we'll see how she feels with a zinc-walled bedroom and a statue in her likeness.

The amount of livestock is getting pretty damn high, and I don't like keeping them up on the surface, so it's time to dig an artificial pasture underground where they can munch on floor fungus to their hearts' content - and once that's taken care of, their old pasture will be a great place to set up some siege weaponry. I've historically had shit luck with ballistas, just because the "only hits targets on the same Z level" part is a bit painful to work with, so I'm going straight for catapults instead.

It's party time again! The fortress is safe for another little while and spirits are high. Let's dig into a random assortment of the new kobbles.

I don't know if any of them will ever do anything important - I automatically like Kasa Palmgazes because he came to Rushsly already a high master miner, and the black kobbles just look cool.

I really really particularly enjoy Rias standing off to the side, watching the party, and just thinking "Merriment is worthless." He's literally one of those wojak memes. It rocks

Vala's statue is completed, and her room is finished. Just next door, Ace Steel's husband Zolr secrets away a meal from the dining room, eats it alone in the bedroom, and then complains about the lack of dining tables. He's a bastard. But he's also living the ultimate dream of "glomming on to a vastly more famous and successful wife without having to really work or anything" so, well, I can't help but put in the order for a table for him.

Bad design jumpscare lol!!!! You thought you'd seen the last of that horrible fucking floor, didn't you. Well too bad. I think it's funny and now you have to look at it again. Anyway, Kikli Shakenmarks, bored at church, decides she's going to create an artifact or at the very least go insane trying. Will she succeed? You'll have to find out on the next episode of Rushsly because I want to go back to C:DDA now. I think this is probably the end of the second arc, we've proven our mettle against the layer-1 forgotten beasts and are nigh completely self-sufficient. I'm actually pretty proud of that, usually I have at least one big weakness as far as resources/production goes and just rely on trading to fill the gap, but these kobbles really got their shit together. I'll try to think of a cool title for the next arc, but it's probably going to end up not being that cool, or if it is cool it won't actually be relevant, which will in turn diminish the coolness. Ok yeah bye

#dwarf fortress #kobblefort

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shxwmaster · 2 years ago

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“ i’ll have my people talk to your people, sound good ? ”

Independent RP + Ask Blog for Mathias Shaw

• 9+ years RP experience • Est. July 29, 2020 , Rebooted March 2023 • Mun is 25+ • PST Timezone | Limited Availability

Penned by Mimi

MOBILE LINKS: ( About | Rules | Thread Tracker )

POSTS ( Plotting Call | Permanent Starter Call | Promo )

Personals / Non-RP Blogs are ALLOWED to follow, BUT do not reblog my posts !

— MUN —

Hi guys, I’m Mimi, 25, She/Her— I’m returning to the Tumblr RPC after having left it 2-3 years ago and I’m excited to be back!

In total, I have 9+ years RP experience, both on Tumblr, ingame and on Discord, and I’m very flexible with most types of RP. My default style is multi-para with icons, but I’ll always mirror your style!

I'm very active on this blog, but also tend to be very sporadic, distracted and forgetful. I have severely untreated ADHD and suffer from a lot of social anxiety, so at times that can throw a wrench in things or slow down my activity significantly. Just a forewarning!

I operate on PST, but I have VERY sporadic availability. I'm usually working Wed-Sun, and I'll be starting college classes soon, so I'll probably only be around either in evenings, or Mon-Wed if I have time. So uh, yeah, between that and the ADHD, please forgive me if I end up very slow or even forget things altogether. Don't be afraid to poke me for threads though!

I also DM occasionally for my RP guild, <Knights of Repentance>. This might occasionally cause a drop in activity. But I still love y'all!

PLEASE poke me if I’m taking too long with a thread and you want to know what’s going on. I will ALWAYS endeavor to try to appease. Sometimes I’m either genuinely working on it and I got stuck, or I really just forgot. Hit me!

I’ve mained Horde for about 15 years now, and though I’ve since read up now on Alliance lore, there are still corners that I’m lacking. If I ever slip up or mistake canon or any Alliance lore, you are legally allowed to kick my ass and correct me. In fact, please, please do that, I encourage it, the last thing I want is to get things wrong, and I like to be as accurate as possible. You can message me, don’t stop yourself from messaging me.

My strengths in writing reside in improv and crafting random situations, scenarios and settings on a whim. I take joy in throwing muses straight into action, so I’m your guy when it comes to that kind of stuff!

— GENERAL —

Canon-typical violence, blood, mentions of death, parental death, emotional abuse, torture and knives are present on this blog.

Personals / Non-RP blogs are free to follow, BUT, please do not reblog any of my posts or threads. Non-RP blogs that share my stuff will get blocked! Otherwise enjoy your stay!

Personals are free to send in asks on or off anon!

Please don't mention incest to me in any shape or form.

No god-modding or meta-gaming

I am mostly canon compliant, though I do have some minor canon divergences, all of which can be read further in my about page. I make it a point to adopt about 85% of RPG lore into my own canon for my own purposes.

The rest of this page are general guidelines.

— RP —

VERY OC friendly. If you've got connections or something you want to establish beforehand, hit me up, I'm ALWAYS open to plotting with OCs.

On that note, I'm always open to establishing any connections or relationships or dynamics ahead of time with any muse! You need only message me!

I will always read your rules and about page thoroughly before interacting with you

I am multiship! I love ships, I'm open to ships! Past or present, AU or otherwise, hit me.

I ship with chemistry. Yes, I love ships, but I definitely prefer to have our muses interact first to see how they get along before moving forward.

You are always welcome to RP unrequited feelings or have your character act or feel however they would around Shaw, I've no problem with that, so long as you're not forcing a ship! Again, chemistry and communication beforehand is a must before a ship.

However, I am uncomfortable with some age gaps. If your character is in their 20s (or equivalent to their 20s, if they're an elf), shipping's off the table.

At the moment, the only universes I have available for Shaw are in WoW and Overwatch (Blackwatch!Shaw), thus I'm more inclined to interact with folks from those franchises, but there are always exceptions!

I have a small handful of AUs that can be found on my verses page.

If you want to interact with any of my AUs, just specify or message me!

I'm welcome to creating new AUs with folks as well!

IC =/= OOC! Shaw is a very serious character and tends to be rather apathetic and rude at times. I, however, am not him, it is not personal!

Mirror RP - I match your length, and would ask you to do the same! If I write a paragraph or two and only get a sentence back, chances are I’m prooobably not going to RP with you again, sorry!

Dash Games are Free Game! If I didn't tag you in a dash meme or game, like one of those quizzes or templates to fill out, take it anyways. Feel free to assume that I've tagged you, tag me in it too if you complete it. There's nothing I love more than seeing other folks ramble about their muses!

EVERYONE is invited to send me RP memes! ESPECIALLY if we haven't interacted yet!

Asks being turned to threads are awesome and welcome

In fact, I make a habit of turning my asks into starters, so you’re more than welcome to reply to any of those ICly if desired! I scarcely do drabbles for asks unless the prompt is specifically for a drabble.

Please note however, that I prefer to keep all threads to text posts, so if we’re turning an ask post to a thread, I will repost it in a new text post altogether!

— MISC —

I’m a legal adult, I’m cool with NSFW. Only send NSFW prompts IF I reblogged/invited them though!

IF NSFW threads were to take place here, I would 1. like to discuss it beforehand, and 2. put it under a readmore

If you need me to tag triggers, just message me, I’ll do that

My Discord is available upon request. I will never publicize my Discord information. Same for my BNet info.

#pinned post

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notepadsandtealeaves · 4 years ago

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Damian Wayne x GN!Reader in: His Favorite Helper Elf

12 Days of Batmas || Day 4—Wrapping Presents

MINORS/AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT || 18+ ONLY ||

↞ previous: mall madness || getting lost at the mall

|| ao3 version | 12 days m.list | batboys tag | main blog ||

|| dick day 4 | jay day 4 | tim day 4 ||

Damian once told you that he falls in love with you all over again, several times a day, every day…

He falls a little deeper every day…

↠ Requested By: Not a soul lol ↠ Reader Gender: Neutral ↠ Content Type: SFW fluff ((but my blog’s 18+ if minors want to consume my sfw stuff while still respecting my wishes of them staying out of this space, they can head over to my AO3)) ↠ CWs: None ↠ Betas? Nah, we don’t do that here. ↠ Total WC: 1.7k~

Headcanon || WC: 1.1k~

🌟 Damian is v. good at wrapping gifts tho this doesn’t come as a surprise because Damian is good at literally everything lol.

🌟 But seriously, stuff like this is right up his alley as he really likes activities that require precision and-or a lot of detail work.

Tbh he’s pretty anal about things, though once again this shouldn’t come as a surprise. Dames is a perfectionist—it doesn’t matter how small or inconsequential the task is, there is always a proper way to go about things.

Those corners? Sharp. Edges, laid. Tape? It’s on there, but you can barely see it. How he manages to secure things with such a small amount is truly mind boggling.

((Spoiler: That tape is double-sided. That’s it, that’s his secret lol))

🌟 As far as aesthetics go his tastes tend to be more austere. There’s just something about plain brown paper and twine that he finds utterly charming. In fact if given his way he would do the whole of your home’s decorations in this rustic, minimalist style.

🌟 Of course he knows this isn’t everyone’s thing, and he’s more than willing to adapt to the recipient’s tastes.

Well now, at least. I can definitely see Damian’s younger self being a little shit that didn’t much care about making nice.

The way he saw it, he was already being v. generous in even giving you the gift in the first place, at the very least he should get the enjoyment of wrapping it to his liking. And you should just be glad you’re getting something when you could just as easily be getting a whole bunch of nothing.

…Yeah, kid had some issues that manifested themselves in a lot of misplaced anger that would crop up over the most random things.

Birthdays esp. rubbed him the wrong way because why is this person being celebrated for being born—a thing which they had no say in or control over—and subsequently surviving? They’ve literally done the absolute bare minimum and yet here people are making a big fuss over it and he just?? Doesn’t get it???

As he got older and began to sort out his trauma he realized that the true cause of his ire was a vicious form of jealousy mixed with resentment. He never had those things growing up under his mother’s care, and once he was taken in by his father he actively shunned them as he’d been taught that such indulgences bred weakness (a big fucking load, that, given the lavish lifestyle Ra’s leads, but double standards and such).

Growing up as he did the laws of nature, specifically survival of the fittest, were held up as standards. Because of this expectations were high and things thought to be worthy of lauding were all but nonexistent. Even his most astonishing feats barely got more than a nod of recognition because “You don’t get a pat on the head for doing what you’re supposed to do.” So for people to go all out over living to their next year—esp. when they had normal, cushy lives—yeah, no.

With the motivations for his reactions discovered, he was adamant about doing everything in his power to turn things around as he hates the thought of allowing anything from his past to further taint his future. The process has been a slow one, and honestly sometimes he still looks at things through jaded eyes, but he’s healing.

The League wanted him to be an unfeeling killer, his mother a pawn, but those who truly care for him have always wanted so much more. Because of this he strives daily to be a man worthy of you all as well as the hopes that you have for him.

🌟 But this is getting too heavy and we’re not really here for that so let’s move on!

🌟 Looping back around—as far as wrapping paper goes, he’ll pick things that compliments the person’s personal tastes and-or the event.

They’ll still be on the plainer side tho (i.e. solid colored paper and toppers), but like really classy. He uses good quality materials and it shows.

If it has a glossy finish then you’re gonna be able to see your reflection in that shit, if its matte then it’s going to have a nice texture to it, and if it’s metallic then it’s definitely got legit gold/silver leaf on it.

Though it’s kinda contrary to what’s been said thus far, he really loves elaborate toppers. Doesn’t matter if it’s a bow or ribbons or whatever else—that’s always gonna be the most ostentatious part of the packaging.

🌟 Lessons will be provided upon request, but this is Dames we’re talking about, so… Procced at your sanity’s risk lol.

He’ll go a little easier on you because you’re his baby, but still.

He’s about on par with Jay when it comes to his teaching methods, so expect a legit workshop-type experience.

Given the fact that he personally works best when left to his own devices he’ll be a bit more hands-off unless you prove to need assistance, but this doesn’t really help matters because he’s just standing there on the opposite side of the table judging your every little move—and yeah, nah, I’m good bro lmao.

But for you he allows himself to be far more adaptable than he would otherwise be, so all it’ll take is for you to tell him what you need from him as far as instruction/observation goes and he’ll be quick to switch it up.

🌟 It should also be said now that he will never use a gift box or bag. Ever. Don’t try to fight him on this, you will just die mad and tired.

Same goes for letting so-called ‘professionals’ wrap things for him. Like Jay, he feels that his skills are equal, no better, than what those people could ever hope to achieve.

And ya know what? He isn’t wrong, and maybe he should say it lol.

🌟 Tho he puts a lot of work into his wrapping, he absolutely loves to see you rip it to shreds.

There’s just something about the childlike glee that overtakes your face when you do this that just hits different.

Does it have something to do with catching a glimpse of the childhood he never got to indulge in and is now reliving through you in this small way? Mayhaps. But he’s not actively looking that deeply into things, he just wants to enjoy this moment with you…

But omg if you guys have kids it’s so on. He’s gonna get them a grip of gifts just so there’ll be more things for them to unwrap and squeal over. Definitely the type to have a whole damn tribe if you let him, but that’s a HC for another day…

His Favorite Helper Elf || WC: ~600

“May I borrow your finger, beloved?”

The inquiry makes you smile. Damian hardly needs your help to tie the bow—you’ve seen him create shapes far more elaborate, and frankly verging on the impossible, without any assistance—but it’s nice of him to want to include you even in this small way.

Fairly early on into the gift wrapping session you had decided to leave things in his overly capable hands as by comparison your efforts looked like those of a toddler’s. Of course your man was far too enamored with you to say as much, but you’re positive that he was thinking it. But it’s all just as well as Dames has always enjoyed such tasks and you enjoy watching him unwind, so really it’s a win-win.

You place your finger in the indicated spot only to remove it some odd seconds later as deft digits continue to manipulate the length of ribbon until it’s properly coiffed and secured. You take the finished gift and add it to the ‘done pile’, though when you go to reach for the next unwrapped item you come up empty.

“Looks like we’re, or well you’re finished,” you comment as you look over the culmination of his hard work.

Long, toned arms secure themselves around your middle and you find yourself being pulled back into an equally muscled chest. You lean into the embrace, sighing a bit when soft lips brush against your temple.

“You played your roll,” he assures you as he rests his chin against your shoulder, “and beautifully at that, my love.”

Your huff of laughter is totally disbelieving. He’s being far too generous, you only wrapped two gifts total, both of which are for some out of town loved ones—currently they’re tucked away in boxes waiting to be mailed so at least they won’t have to be displayed alongside his masterworks—and when you tell him as much you can feel him shrug.

“Still, you stayed and kept me company. This wouldn’t have been nearly as enjoyable an endeavor without you. You’re the perfect little helper elf.”

Your brow arches at the title even as you laugh. “If I’m a helper elf then what does that make you? And you can’t say Santa because he’s not about that wrapping life. Plus that’d also make Mrs. Claus your main squeeze and I’m not about that side piece life.”

The fact that you’ve gotten him to laugh so hard more than makes up for almost having your eardrum blown out by his initial bark of laughter.

Still chuckling, he turns you so that you’re facing him. The jade of his eyes sparkles with a mixture of mirth and love-fueled warmth as he looks you over, though it soon shifts into something deeper. Damian once told you that he falls in love with you all over again, several times a day, every day—the soft sweep of a calloused thumb over the swell of your cheek leaves you with the impression that this is one such moment.

There’s no fire behind his kiss, just a heart-aching affection that leaves your knees weak and your lids fluttering close. He lingers in your space long after the kiss is broken, forehead braced against yours and eyes shut. There’s a small smile pulling at his lips, one born of pure contentment, one that says there’s no place else he’d rather be than right here in your arms…

Up Next: 🌟 Day 5: A Most Discerning Customer || Ugly Sweaters

“Well the ugliest sweater gets a prize… That, uhh, that makes the pain worth it, right? At least a little bit?”

“Beloved, I think that the best prize to be had is the retention of our dignity.”

He makes ‘bad’ look oh-so-good…

© notepadsandtealeaves, 2021 || Please do not repost, translate, or otherwise alter or distribute my works without my express permission. And for the love of god keep it away from Youtube and TikTok lol…

#Damian Wayne x Reader #Damian Wayne x Gender Neutral Reader #Damian Wayne x You #Damian Wayne Imagine #i know that every time i write for him i’m always on some domestic ish but he deserves/needs it #it’s always loving/being soft for dames hours in this house

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azems-familiar · 3 years ago

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get to know the blogger

i was tagged for this by @starknstarwars, thank you very much! i am tagging @ipreferfiction @tarrevizsla @darthsassacre @glitter-cronch @reliable-apprentice and anyone else who wants to join!

1) why did you choose your url?

so i've been through a few different urls in the past, but i ended up settling on this one when i switched over to primarily kotor stuff. the canon "revanchist" url is held by an empty blog, so i took the next best available thing. (my previous url was skywalking-across-the-galaxy and it was chosen exclusively for the pun.)

2) any sideblogs?

i made one as a joke to make in-character sith years revan, malak, and jedi exile in universe social media posts with a couple friends about a year ago. i don't actually do anything with it but it Exists.

3) how long have you been on tumblr?

since early 2016, i think my blog's anniversary is in april? oh god that was a lot longer ago than i want to think about.

4) why did you originally start your blog?

because i had just gotten into the doctor who fandom and i wanted to reach a wider audience with fanfiction. i was 16/17 and brand new to fandom as a group experience and ended up on tumblr after discovering that ao3 existed.

5) why did you choose your icon?

my icon and header change from time to time, when i feel like changing things up a bit, but for quite a while now my icon has been this absolutely stunning portrait of my Revan done by my beloved @stellorc, who is a dear friend and an incredible artist. it is the best piece of art i currently have of my Revan and since she's the main character i focus on and write about these days, i figured she should be the centerpiece! also i just love looking at that art.

6) why did you choose your header?

my header is a color-changed gif from the kotor remake teaser trailer done by @tarrevizsla, with a quote that someone stuck on an edit of the early kotor comics to describe Revan going against the Council to join the war, which has always stuck with me as very appropriate. I Just Think It's Neat and also symbolism.

7) what is your post with the most notes?

uhhhh that's hard for me to tell because my blog is old. a tcw art i commissioned in 2018 is pretty big. a few chat posts i made during my sequels era. the HK-47 locket shitpost i made has just over a thousand and is definitely my largest-note kotor/swtor related post!

8) how many mutuals do you have?

unknown and i'm not going through to count all of them. quite a few. my entire discord server (or the people who talk actively at least). hello beloved tor hell friends. (pspspspsps come join tor hell)

9) how many followers do you have?

2014, somehow. not many of them interact with me. a lot are from my doctor who or tcw days.

10) how many blogs do you follow?

2285. i should probably go through and prune that there are a lot of people i don't even know who they are anymore lol.

11) have you ever made a shitpost?

more times than i'd like to admit to, yes. my most popular recent one is definitely this gif:

12) how many times do you use tumblr a day?

let's just say i'm terminally online.

13) have you ever fought another blog?

yeah. i'm proship and have been known to ship some "problematic" things back in the day. i haven't been as badly involved in discourse but yknow how things go. also i will go to war to defend my friends.

14) how do you feel about "need to reblog" posts?

fuck those. if you say i MUST reblog something i am immediately going to Not Do That just out of spite.

15) do you like tag games?

absolutely, just sometimes i'm slow to respond.

16) do you like ask games?

yes! i love interaction! i crave it! however sometimes i can be bad at responding and then i feel horribly guilty whoops

17) which of your mutuals do you think are tumblr famous?

none who are tumblr famous but i am mutuals with @renesassing my beloved, who is a pretty damn popular artist, so there's that

18) do you have a crush on a mutual?

not particularly no. i mean one of my mutuals (i'm sure no one can guess which one) is my platonic partner and best friend but like. that's it lol

#things i'm tagged in #this was fun!! i love talking

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spop-starsau · 5 years ago

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Introduction to the Stars AU: A General Overview/FAQ Post

What is the Stars AU?

Basically, the Stars AU started out as a SPOP AU where Bow and Glimmer accidentally conceive a child shortly after the portal incident. A few months and countless conversations & roleplay sessions later, it’s become a full-fledged AU with separate timelines, a TON of OCs, and plans to write fanfic/commission fan art in the future.

Since we’ve come up with so much stuff for this AU, we decided to make a side blog for it!

@darkmasterofcupcakes and myself (@roses-renegade) are the AU’s co-creators.

Wait, this AU has separate timelines?

Yep! The original version of this AU had Glimmer and Bow conceiving their daughter Andromeda not too long after the portal incident. We have worked on this version of the AU for a while. Around the time that season 5 of SPOP came out, we made an alternate version of the Stars AU (or, an AU of the AU) that was more canon compliant- in this version, Andromeda is conceived shortly after the SPOP finale. We decided to keep both versions of the Stars AU (we usually refer to them as the “canon divergent” and “canon compliant” timelines). For the most part, both versions of the Stars AU have the same story/OCs, but the timelines are just a bit different (since we based the timing of a LOT of the events of the AU on how old Andromeda would be when they occurred).

To give you even MORE of a headache (haha), we also have come up with a “dark timeline” version of the Stars AU, BUT more on that later...

Okay, gotcha. What is the Stars AU about?

The most basic answer to this question is “the events of Bow and Glimmer’s life after the portal incident.”

This AU tackles (among other things) Glimmer and Bow’s season 4 storylines, the development of their romantic relationship, their journey to parenthood, their lives (and, really, everyone else’s lives) after the war, and, eventually, the lives of their children.

Why is it called the Stars AU?

Back when we were first brainstorming names for Andromeda, we came up with this idea that Bow and Glimmer would give all of their kids star-related names. My (@roses-renegade) reasoning for this was that it was sort of a symbolic thing. Glimmer and Bow’s children are going to be growing up in this new era of peace on Etheria. I wanted their names to kind of “reflect” this new era, and one of the most noticeable physical aspects of post-war Etheria is that the stars have returned now that Etheria is out of Despondos and a part of the larger universe once again.

So, yeah. Glimmer and Bow’s kids will get to grow up in this new peaceful world under the stars. Hence, “the Stars AU.”

Okay, so... tell me more about Andromeda, since she basically got this whole AU started.

Princess Andromeda “Andi” of Bright Moon is the daughter of Queen Glimmer of Bright Moon and Bow, Master Archer of the Rebellion (and later the King of Bright Moon). After the portal incident and the “death” of Queen Angella of Bright Moon, Bow and Glimmer ended up getting closer and eventually confessed their feelings to each other. After exploring their feelings and relationship, they ended up having sex one night. They then decided to "take things slow” while dating. Not too long after her coronation, Glimmer found out from Shadow Weaver that she was pregnant. She and Bow decided to keep the baby. A lot of our initial work on this AU was about how Glimmer’s pregnancy affected her season 4 storyline and character arc, as well as her relationship with the other SPOP characters. Around the end of her second trimester/beginning of her third trimester, Glimmer activated the Heart of Etheria (something that both Bow and Adora were against). This caused a massive rift between Glimmer and Bow. However, Bow still tried (and failed) to save Glimmer from being abducted by Horde Prime. Glimmer became a prisoner on the Velvet Glove, and eventually gave birth prematurely on the ship (partially from the immense amount of stress she was under, and partially because the baby may have been affected by Glimmer’s activation of the Heart of Etheria). Catra, who Glimmer had formed an uneasy alliance with while on the ship, ended up helping her deliver the baby. Catra then helped Glimmer (and Andromeda) escape, and the mother-daughter pair were rescued from space by Bow and taken aboard Mara’s ship. Glimmer and Bow soon made up, and Andromeda was put in an incubator (created by Entrapta) on the ship. After that, the majority of what occurred in the canon version of season 5 happened- the gang had some space adventures, eventually got back to Etheria, and Horde Prime was defeated. After Adora and Catra saved Etheria, Glimmer and Bow shifted their focus to making sure that their new little family was okay. Glimmer spent a few days recovering in the infirmary at Castle Bright Moon with Bow by her side. Andromeda, on the other hand, spent a month or so in the infirmary before eventually being “cleared” to go (much to Glimmer and Bow’s immense relief).

Dang, that’s a lot. And that’s only the beginning?

Yep! After developing this “main storyline” of the AU, we shifted our focus to Glimmer and Bow’s life after the SPOP finale. In our AU, a lot happens after SPOP’s “happily ever after”...

What are some of the things that happen afterwards?

Oh, you know... rebuilding Etheria... the BFS going on their little “return magic to the universe” road trips... Glimmer and Bow navigating parenthood... Angella coming back from the dead...

Angella’s back?!

YEP. We thought she (and Micah) deserved better, so... yeah. We brought her back. No regrets. (Glimmer is still queen, though.)

What are the main SPOP ships involved in this AU?

Glimmer/Bow

Catra/Adora

Sea Hawk/Mermista

Scorpia/Perfuma/Entrapta (poly trio)

Micah/Angella

George/Lance

How many OCs does this AU have so far?

Okay, get ready... *deep breath*:

4 Glimbow children

1 Catradora child

3 Seamista children

8 Scorpia/Perfuma/Entrapta children

1 Micangella child

1 Castaliet child

... a few OCs for some of the “next gen kids” to fall in love with...

Tell me more about these “next gen kids”...

All in good time. (I’m planning to write some sort of “masterpost” for all of the OCs eventually.)

Okay then. Tell me about this “dark timeline” you mentioned earlier... because that sounded ominous and now I can’t stop thinking about it in the back of my head...

Basically, Glimmer’s final two children were twins, and in the “dark timeline” she dies shortly after childbirth, after a very difficult and stressful pregnancy. The “dark timeline” version of the Stars AU follows the impact of Glimmer’s death on everybody. You know, fun stuff.

Note: Glimmer only dies in the “dark timeline.” She stays alive in the main timeline/version of this AU, which is what we’ll be posting about here 99% of the time anyway.

Wow. You really like to make the characters suffer, huh?

I mean, sometimes, yeah... not always, though! We promise!

Is there fanfiction of this AU that I can read?

Not yet! We’re working on that though...

What kind of things will you be posting on this blog?

Basically anything and everything about the Stars AU... character designs, headcanons, random lore about the Stars AU, fanfic/fan art (eventually), etc. We wanted a place to put everything pertaining to this AU!

Can I submit questions/prompts/whatever about this AU and its characters?

Yes, always!! We would love to provide you with lore. :)

If I ever feel inclined to draw one of the Stars AU OCs, can I?

Yeah sure! Just make sure you tag us. :)

What’s the tag you’ll be using for this AU?

We will be tagging our posts with #SPOP Stars AU if you want to follow that tag. :)

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Loud House: 11 Louds A Leapin Review or It’s My Bobby in a Box

Happy Holidays errybody! Christmas returns to this blog after a bit of a break to tie up some loose ends, and celebrate my birthday with a return to the loud house. It’s honestly good to be back. While it can be a struggle to cover a pure comedy, I genuinely like the show a lot, even with it’s flaws i’ve gone into, and my regular reviews gave me a running gag in my hatred of rusty and a new respect for the show. It’s just with a buiser schedule and me not actually trying to have something resembling order to things, I kept shoving Banned Together back despite really wanting to see it since.. you know.. Luna episode.. until it ended up sliding into ANOTHER set of episodes. It’s things like this why I have a queue now: while it’s not set day by day, in case I want to do more than one i na day, it is there to keeep some semblance of order and keep me on track so this dosen’t happen again. So with all that being said.. why did I choose to do A DIFFRENT loud house episode for the second time in a row before getting back to the current season? Simple.. i’ve been putting this episode off personally for even LONGER. I meant to watch 12 louds a leapin back when it first came out at the start of season 2... and just never got around to it. And just kept never getting around to it, wanting to watch it at christmas but then forgetting to do so for the last 4 years. Spare a thought there.. 4 years. In that time 80 years have passed, an era of marvel movies have come to an end, a tick series has come and gone, She Ra has come and gone, ducktales premiered then annoucned it was ending.. my point is way too many shows are ending too soon, and i’ve let this slide for far too long. So I bumped this one up to finally take a look at it, as i’ve waited this long and didn’t want to risk missing it a fifth fucking time. So yeah i’m taking look at what’s probably a classic episode in the fandom with fresh eyes. Let’s see what I thought shall we? It’s Christmas Eve at the Loud House and Lincoln is once again Zach Morrising it up .

Not what I meant.. whatever that is. It’s been 30 years since that episode aired, probably a good 12 since I first saw it and I still have no idea why they did this or if it was giong to end in a three way before the girls showed up. We just don’t know and the greatest minds in the country are baffled.. and you know working on the vaccine and making sure it’s safe.

No Linc is talking to the camera about it being christmas while gearing up to go sledding with his sled big red. Meanwhile the rest of the louds are doing their usual christmas activities which we get introduced to as Lincoln gets ready. The girls sub-plots here are, outside of Lori’s., less plots and more running gags, various shenanigans by the girls tying into their personalities and christmasy stuff. It works perfectly.. while it’s a bunch of gags.. the gags are funny and it’s neat to learn more about just how the girls celebrate christmas and what they get up to every year. It’s part of what’s to love about holiday specials as you get a once or twice in a series chance to see how our heroes celbrate the holiday and thus a look into stories, gags and character stuff very unique to the holiday. It also uses the fact LIncoln was the protaganist at the time very well, using him as our viewpoint to set up all the christmas goings on as he makes his way out of the house, so we can cut back to them later as his plot goes on. It’s really good stuff. So what are the girls up to? Let’s go down the list by age shall we?

Lori: Lori has the most involved plot anyway so it’s best to start here. Lori and Bobby are having their first christmas together... though it does bring up the fact that they’ve only been dating 2 years at most, yet plan to get married.. I mean that is a lot but your also 18. Then again time is nigh incomprehinsiable to unpack in the loud house, and at least 3 years passed in the one year it took to get them all aged up, so I wouldn’t think about it too hard. Lori, still being in huge bitch mode as she was early on, pressures bobby to get a good gift. She later gets said gift but despite being told to open it immideitly, her siblings chide her on her habit of tearing presents open and thus get her not to open it. So that’s a runner through the special, with Lana even putting her on a leash at one point, which I found hilarious. Less hilaroius is the conclusion as it turns out in the box on christmas day.. is BOBBY, who understandably is not looking so good...

Thankfully bobby’s not dead or they all would be, but still the poor boy missed christmas eve with his mom and sister for this stunt. I mean I get it’s his fault, he’s apparently LITERALLY too dumb to live it turns out and should’ve you know made a noise sooner and probably didn’t want to ruin the suprise.. but we still nearly got an episode where a 4 year old had surivviors guilt for letting her older sisters boyfriend suffocate in a box. That’s dead santa from gremlins levels of fucked up. Thankfully Lori loves it and I assume bobby’s worried family joined them for christmas eve. That image fills my heart with hope. But seriously bobby never again we can’t loose you. At least not before Sergio.

Leni: Leni’s is very simple it’s just a running gag of her taking various christmas things, making them into outfits then saying shhhh to whoever’s around when she hears, or in later cases is right there, with the person asking. Just a funny bit. Luna: Is working on a christmas song. It’s one of the weake runners as the failed songs just aren’t that funny, but the payoff for the main plot makes up for it. WE’ll get to that. Luann: Has one of my faviorite bits, her 12 puns of christmas which is both really adorable and leads to an adorable moment with her dad. Always loved their relationship.

Lynn and Lucy: Are teamed up this episode which makes me genuinely miss how the two would be used as a pair ocasionally earlier on but just .. arne’t anymore> The rest of the girls status as roomates is used liberally but not so much these two. IT’s just weird and disheartning to me. That being said their plot is simply the two digging around to find where the presents are hidden, which I never got as why would you want to know weeks ahead of time. You can’t use any money to buy the stuff you dind’t get or they’ll know and they usually figure out you knew ahead of time and it just brings thigns down. But from a kid’s perspective I guess I get it and while it’s weird to have Lucy be one of the ones following I like it, as it shows that benath her gothy demanor she’s still just an 8 year old girl excited for christmas, and that’s adorable. A decent enough runner.

Lana: Gets a good one: She keeps accidently catching people, and a passing car in one case though she has a jack to help, in her reindeer traps. Its not only funny but really adorable especially since she dosen’t care about trapping SANTA persay, she just wants her own pet reindeer and frankly who wouldn’t want a rideable woodland critter who can fly. Dammit now i want one too.

Lola and Lisa: Lola gets a fairly standard one tha’ts still pretty damn funny; She wants to get offf the naughy list by playing good for a day. What makes it funny is that last part.. that instead of doing it over a few days like most of this plot she’s trying to cram it all into one day while also trying not to strangle Lisa, who keeps showing up to say santa’s route is impossiuble. As ducktales covered he slows down time.. also you know.. not every kid celebrates christmas so ther’es probably a good number of houses he dosen’t have to cover in one night. Lily: Just randomly pops out of stockings a bit. it’s precioous as it sounds. The Parents: It had honestly been so long both since i’d seen a season 1 episode, and since the two had been both given actual names and fleshed out considerably, that i’d forgotten Rita and Senior had their faces obscured for all of season 1. It’s REALLY weird and jarring to go back to after getting to know them as fully formed people of their own over the past 3 seasons, and especally gorowing to love Senior, as he’s a loveably goofy dad but without the incompetence of most comedy dads. He can bumble but he’s also genuinely supportive, talented and pulls his weight in his marriage and family. We do however start to really see their fully formed , full member of the cast perosnalities here: Rita is clearly tired from the sheer amount of shit she has to juggle, but is also nice and warm and while Lynn Sr.’s goofiness was established already, here it’s tempered into his current shape and his love of cooking and through role as the family chef is established. While he was established as cook earlier he goes from someone who’d use frozen food just to get by to a master chef who probably does use a lot of frozen stuff but can make anything taste good and will eventually have his own restraunt. It’s really fascenating to see them slowly emerge. They don’t really have plots themslves, and Lynn’s only real gag is wanting everyone to try his figgy pudding.

So with the rest of the family covered let’s get to our main plot. Lincoln is sledding.. on the slide out back.. for some reason.

The reason is simple.. his sled ends up in the yard of Mr. Grouse, their neighbor and old man who yells at louds. Lincoln explains grouse keeps everything that ends up in his yard and has taken a lot from the Loud Kids over the years. So lincoln.. uses the slide to sled.. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIS YARD.

I’ve been wanting to use pigtail kim since I made that one recently. But her points stands. What?!. I mean Lincoln can be stupid, he’s only 12 it’s allowed, but usually more out of not realizing what he’s getting into or using kid logic. He’s not this brain dead. That’s Leni’s job. It just feels like plot contrivance. Just have him build some sort of contraption as a makeshift hill and tell the audience he’s doing this because his family dosen’t want him going to an actual hill on christmas or is too busy to take him. There are easier ways than this half assed rube goldberg machine of a setup. So naturally his sled ends up in the yard.. and he calls on Clyde to help....

Now if you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you know that reactoin is normally reserved exclusivley for this guy.

But since Rusty was in his larval state with only a few apperances and hadn’t emeerged from his coocoon as the douche I know and love to take pot shots at, there was actually something WORSE. Something more obnoxious. And with far far worse implications. And that my friends was seasons 1 and 2 Clyde. Clyde in the early seasons CAN be fine, and the self we know now. In fact I wish he interacted with the sisters more as the slumber party episode early on gave him a nice dynamic with all of them and the episode with him and leni was terrific. The problem one there was running gag with him, one character trait that utterly sucked the joy out of the room at best and made him into an unlikeable little shit at worst; HIs crush on Lori. When she’s around at BEST he has a Master Roshi nosebleed, stammers her name and passes out, something that wasn’t funny the first time and quickly became grating the 80 other times they did it. But at worst, as he is here? He’s creepy, obessevie and worst of all. .a real dick to bobby. Who as we’ve established is...

So that was NEVER going to go over well and even ignoring that is still very bad. The little creep just constantly treats Bobby with hostility, which given this is Bobby, he dosen’t realize is going on. Any time their relationship is threantned Clyde’s main goal is to swoop in during the aftermath and win lori over. He constantly wants Bobby out of the way, The ONE TIME he dosen’t come off as a massive dick is when Lincoln thinks Bobby might be cheating, and that’s because Clyde isn’t planning on swooping into the wrecakge of someone’s relationship to get a girlfriend, but to punch the guy out for cheating on her. Bobby wasn’t and Clyde obviously isn’t capable of that, but it’s a bit more understandable and even CLYDE wants to make sure there’s evidence first. But more often than not he’s just under the assumptino Lori will be his despite the massive age gap, her having made it obvious she’s not intrested, and her being in longterm relationship she’s really happy in with someone else. And this was season 1 lori who reacted to this, so the fact she’s not being the queen of all bitches about it only makes him look that much worse. And to add to that, Bobby not only KNOWS he has as crush on Lori but is suppportive of clyde, cheering him on when she kisses him once for doing something noble, and generally treating “Clydsdale” like he would any of Lori’s blood siblings. It was excurating then to sit through this every few episodes.. and it’s even worse now because the gag’s complete dissaperance from Season 3 onwards really paints the picture that this gag was entirely because series creator Chris Savino thought this was FUNNY and no one else did. And given he got fired for, you know, HARASSING WOMEN AND NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER you kinda see how an already bad bit was made worse. So yeah while the sled thing is bad this.. is objectively worse and drags the special down more. It’s thakfully not omniprescent but man is it hard to watch. Clyde being in full dickhead mode is trying to get a kiss from lori and is using a missletoe hat for it.. And can we just agree that while Missletoe can be used well in stories, to help two shy people finally kiss or to ramp up romantic tension or what have you, that it’s often used by creepy douchebags to get kisses they don’t deserve both here and presumibly in irl before the plauge hit? We can? Good. But yeah that’s his plot, no suprise he gets one, bah hum bug. He also throws in some Bobby bashing by fantasising about him ending up in the yard and clyde ending up with lori since Grouse keeps bobby.. even though instead Lori would just ignore clyde, storm over there and rip an old man’s spine out mortal kombat style.

So yeah Lincoln wants his sled back, but he can’t do it alone as the old man scares him, hence Clyde coming in. They make an elaborate plan using some careful blueprints.

Their real plan is to have Clyde disract grouse while Lincoln grabs the sled but it fails and mean mr mustard finds it and takes it inside. Desperate, Lincoln prepares to do some crimes and head into his house. Clyde is afraid he’l end up in jail and never get to visit because only family can. Clyde you are family. Plus Prison visits aren’t limited to relatives only, any show with a character in jail storyline will tell you that. But Lincoln makes a valid point that Grouse stole his property.. I still dont’ think this is the right way to handle it and his parents should just go over and ask the loud, irate asshole to give the kids stuff back he stole to be a dick, but this is a kids show and again we wouldn’t have a plot but unlike last time my head dosen’t hurt from this. He’s desperate, he knows that probably wouldn’t work and again he’s 12. 12 year old logic is fine. Naturally he ends up getting caught as Grouse didn’t leave for long, though having found a photo of Grouse with a sled as a kid, understandably fires back on him that he wasn’t always like this. Why he like this. He also has the much farier point that again, it’s his property and “My yard my rules” is about as much a legal rule as a note saying “I can do what I want, ron”. But Grouse understandably, hey he’s a dick but the boyd id be and e, makes him clean up and after Grouse fails to get the loud parents Lincoln, via a comination of a charming family photo and Grouse talking to his sister on the phone, finds out the real reason he acts like this: He misses his family and being on a fixed income can’t visit them often as he tells his sister he won’t be home for christmas to see his sprawling family.

And while it doesen’t excuse his actions.. it does explain why Grouse is so bitter: you would be too if you had a massive family who clealry loved you and your on good terms with.. but through no fault of your own and presumibly despite working hard toa fford retirment you just.. can’t see them. Their there and you have the phone, but you don’t know how to work the internet and it’s just.. not the same as seeing them. Your just seperated from them and can’t be near them or hear their voices or get hugs. Which.. given the current pandemic i’m sure MANY of you can relate to that.. to being seperated from your loved ones and trapped, and especailly many people mr grouses age are facing that. While this special is good even without the context of seeing it this year it especailly resonates and i’m glad I waited this long simply beaause it came at just the right time. Grouse tells him to leave not planning on calling his parents.

So in christmas special fashion, Lincoln is touched byt his story, and feels bad for the old curmudgeon. Sure they don’t get along and the bastard broke his sled.. but again you’d be bitter too in his shoes. The guy has nothing and is alone.. and Grouse has done nothing to deserve that, even with his actions resulting from it. No one should be alone on christmas. So Lincoln tells his sisters, all of whom rally around him, including Luna whose writer’s block is broken as she finally realizes...

And not singing about that was holding her back. Luna has her song and Lincoln, as expected has a plan. And we soon see that plan as Grouse gets a knock on the door.. and finds the Louds, parents included, and The McBrides all there singing him a christmas song. It’s pretty decent and the first time we really get to see Nikka Futterman sing and i’ts beautiful> Ther’ed be better, and worse luna songs to come but this is still pretty neat and sweet. THey came to offer him deocrations, dinner, company.. and a one way bus ticket to his family... presumibly the family will pay the other way or he can easier the day after christmas. Point is he’s touched, and genuinely and sincerly thanks them and invites them in, with Grouse’s actor John DiMaggio REALLY selling it hard.

So our heroes gather for Christmas Eve all together, and under Grouse’s roof with Grouse giving the kids their stuff back having had a change of heart. Sure he misses his family.. but the Louds and Mc Brides have shown him he dosen’t have to shut everyone out as a result. And while Grouse apologizes tht his sled is gone.. Lincoln’s fine with it he got something better. So the next morning we end on the kids opening presents, and Lori saving her boyfriend from axphisxiation, seriously between this and strife of the party i’m really starting to sour on lana. Regarldess Lucy finally belivies in santa both due to gifts nd seeing him last night, while Lincoln finds a sled from santa.. and then goes outside to see Mr Grouse off, recognizing he’s the one who played santa in a really sweet and senitmental bit. The two part on good terms even if Lincoln breaks another window. Things have changed if not that much. Final THoughts: If it wasn’t obvious, I REALLY loved this one. While it has it’s flaws, and Chris Savino sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms obviously.. it’s still a really sweet, well constructed special and I really recommend checking it out. It’s on the nick app if you have cable and on CBS All Acess if you have that. Until next time merry christmas to all and to all a good day.

And if ther’es an episode of the loud house you’d like me to review leave it in the comments or you can comission a review of it for five dollars. Just direct message me to work out the details or send an ask for my discord.

#the loud house #lincoln loud #lucy loud #lola loud #lori loud #leni loud #luna loud #lynn loud jr #lynn loud senior #rita loud #lily loud #lana loud #luann loud #lisa loud #clyde mcbride #harold mcbride #howard mcbride #bud grouse #christmas

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robogreaser · 5 years ago

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This is a Long Time Coming...

It’s been a relatively hard task to sit down and make sense of, well, a lot of things as of late. I could chalk it up to the state of the world, but it’s been troublesome for significantly longer than that.

Long Story Short Version: I’ve been in a hell of a place, mentally, physically, and otherwise.

The proper story is a hell of a lot more involved than that and I know damned right well it’s going to take me a fair bit to explain myself and my various professional and social failings over the past... while. I’m gonna try to contain this under a read more, of course, but I apologize to mobile users if tumblr fucks that up.

Okay. That took a fair more bit of effort to figure out than I remember. Which, I suppose, is a fair enough bit of a segue into one thing that’s happened to me.

Tumblr has been deteriorating.

Whether I like to admit it or not, tumblr has been my go to social media platform since... 2011. Yeah. I’ve spent the vast majority of the decade here. I’ve seen a lot. Sure, I’ve lurked elsewhere, but I really cannot stand the interface and nature of a lot of other social media, especially the likes of twitter. Unfortunately for me, this place has been in constant decline for years now at this point. It extends well beyond the porn ban, but that’s a whole separate discussion.

I’ve lost touch with a lot of people I care about, some vanishing into the ether, some ghosting me, some just drifting into other communities or onto other sites. I’ve come to terms with the majority of this. It’s been happening for a while. It’s the very nature of digital relationships. It hurt, and I do think it’s contributed to a fair bit of stress and depression that has resulted in my... withdrawal from online spaces. It’s not a major factor, but its here, it’s present, it’s a factor in all of this.

I’ll be honest in that, well, I’ve tried to make this post several times over the past several weeks and months. It’s hard. Talking about my issues, using ‘I’ and ‘me’ so much in a post... it’s a bit jarring. But I’ll try to suck it up.

It’s been ten years (god I fucking hate time) since I’ve graduated high school. Yeah. It’s a fair thing to say that, on reflection, that’s incredibly jarring. The vast majority of that time has been... relatively unstable. I spent a fair few years working on my book and my publishing journey, now all but scrubbed clean from this blog (more on that later) and... well... Trying to be an adult. I’ve applied to, gotten accepted, and had to withdrawn from my dream school twice in this time. I’ve had a fair few jobs, nothing worthy of my resume, and lost all of them in one form or another, whether being fired for retaliating to my shitty work conditions, or, well, quitting for the sake of my own health during this pandemic. There has been a lot of family troubles. I’ve been through a lot of... ‘varied’ living situations, some horrendous, some just stressful, some, like now, actually really good compared to the others. And for the past few years in particular, it’s been constantly one thing after another, nonstop.

In short, progress is slow, but it’s happening. I don’t care to delve into a lot of these sorts of personal details lest this get to a ridiculous length, but that’s the short of the stuff I’d rather gloss over.

I’ve been on a health... Let’s call it a journey. I’ve been on a health journey. Over the past few years I’ve gone through the long processes of being diagnosed with ADHD, discussing my options regarding my depression and anxiety, and finally getting myself on a medication regimen that works. And then, because the health care system is a joke, I was without insurance. I had been off my medication, an absolute lifesaver and release of burden on my garbage tier brain, for eighteen months. Until last week. I think it’s fair to say, between my revolving door of living situations, employment, and then being un-medicated in a continually more stressful environment... That this is the main reason I’ve been absent. I’ve had no focus. There were weeks where I had no drive to do anything outside of routine that others depended on. I had not only gone back to how I was before situating my mental health, but in some ways, found a worse state.

Finances have been slowly eating away at me. I had been working a part time retail job until November, which made decent enough money, but not nearly for the amount of work and responsibility I was handling. I got fired. I found work with one of the big, corporate postal services. The pay was phenomenal, but it began to actively destroy my health, mainly physically, but also mentally, especially considering I was working a graveyard shift. Eventually when I began having prolonged health issues there, and then a whole lot of the symptoms of covid-19, on top of them turning me down for an entry-level position outside of the package handling, I had to quit. This was shortly after the lockdowns, in early April, and I refuse to look back despite people like my parents insisting on me trying to get work there again. Sure, the pay was phenomenal compared to anything else I had until then, but I cant continue to sacrifice my health. As of now, I’m unemployed, and... well...

I’m working on my commission queue. It’s art. It’s stuff I’ve owed friends (luckily those who are incredibly understanding and good to me) for an embarrassing amount of time, even before moving to and from Oklahoma at the end of 2016. I’m terrified of being the person who is known for taking commissioners’ money and running.

I know, I’m not good at giving updates. I’m not good at a consistent work schedule. I’ve had numerous tech failings over the past few years that constantly slow my roll on any progress I have made. Hell, I’ve had files corrupt despite being two thirds of the way complete when transferring from one computer to another. I’ve lost my cable for my external hard drive. I’ve had my tablet go to hell and back multiple times. But I am working. I am trying. I am sitting down as often as I can between looking for work and managing family nonsense to try and get my workload tidied up.

Which... brings me to my next point. And one I’m rather... ashamed about.

I have used trello, infrequently, since taking on a large load of commissions, and despite not being faithfully updating it and checking back on it, and using it to it’s fullest potential, I had kept, at the minimum, a list of all the work I did owe people using it. Well. Dumbass me attempted to use a mobile app. In short, in an effort to try and make myself tech literate and allow me easier access to my queue, I ended up deleting it. Somehow.

I’ve gone through and slowly flagged all my paypal notices and various emails concerning my commissions. I’m putting it together again. I’m trying. Granted, I am damned sure I am going to be missing someone, somewhere, somehow. I know it. I’ve got a shit brain, and despite my need for organization and minimalism, I don’t put it past me to have missed something along the way.

If you have commissioned me, please, do not hesitate to reach out and contact me regarding your commission. I owe every last one of you a massive apology for my continued failure to produce what you have paid for.

More likely than not, I have a wip already started somewhere, and if not, I have a slew of reference and thumbnails already compiled together somewhere on my computers. I am not ignoring this work. It’s been painfully, embarrassingly slow. It’s been one obstacle after another. But I have every intention of doing this work, and, likely, upgrading the quality of the finished piece past what my commissioners have paid for simply because I do feel bad about the wait time.

I have been inexcusably unprofessional. I know this and I am working as best I can with the time and resources I have to correct it.

In a similar vein, as I mentioned before, I have slowly been cleaning up my rather unimpressive publishing attempts. I’ve gone through and cleaned this blog recently, deleting reference to my work by name and the process of trying to get myself published. I may have missed a few posts here and there, but for the most part I would like a clean slate in regards to building a social media platform surrounding my written work. And this is the part where... I am probably going to be the most upfront and honest with you reading this than I have been publicly before.

I am not ashamed of who I’ve been online these past ten years or so, but it reflects only a sliver of my personality, a sliver of who I am as a whole. I catered to a very specific subset of who I am in pursuit of finding acceptance in communities much larger than myself. I’ve learned a hell of a lot about myself in that time. I figured out what’s important to me, my health, my sexuality, my relationships and my long term goals. I’ve found a very important group of friends. I’ve found people who understand and empathize with a lot of the things I have been through, experience, and am at my core.

But the fact of the matter is, this hypersexual, sci-fi aesthetic-oriented, very open person is only a singular facet. And it is not nearly enough of a reflection of who I am, or who I want to be as a professional, public adult. Will I always be gay for robots? Yes. Will I, when time permits and creative energies are present, continue to make nsfw art? Absolutely. Will I always have a toe dipped in erotic literature and the like? Most likely.

But a lot of me, a lot of my emotion and strife and feelings regarding most things in the world, are completely separate from this. It’s separate from me liking porn on twitter or having a homestuck roleplay blog. It’s separate from who I am in real life, with my boyfriend or with my family or with my work. And I have been dwelling on this, sincerely, for a while. I need to allocate more energy into my life. The separate life offline and online too, where I am pursuing an actual professional career, because, at the end of the day, I want to be an author. I want to have a career telling stories. And, in my time online, I’ve found a lot of skeletons in authors’ closets, the kind that really put mine to shame, and the kind that will always be a footnote to their work. You know the ones.

I want my creative work to speak for itself. I want people to be able to enjoy what I do without a specter, without my time and energy having to explain to a future audience why it is I had explicit thoughts about x,y, and z. I want to be able to write a book, write many books, and have people enjoy them without a footnote about me, a person with a sexual life and a history exploring it through years of depression and isolation, clouding it. It’s not fair to my work. It’s not fair to a future reader. It’s not fair to me.

I’ve got several social media accounts made and slowly coming to life that I need to spend more time with as I try and pursue this new, second leg of a very long journey into publishing. I’m not going to link those here, now or in the future. It’s likely a few people I know and trust have access to them. But I am, effectively starting over from scratch trying to build a platform as a writer. And it’s hard. Juggling that, alongside all of the things in the world today, alongside family and my relationships, alongside my commission queue? It bears down on me and if I didn’t have experience handling more than one thing at a time, I might trip up more frequently. Hell, I forget to post and use those new accounts regularly.

But I’m trying.

I’m not moving away from my current social circles or hobbies or anything like that. I’m not abandoning any fandom or friends or communities. But I am going to be trying to balance myself more thoughtfully moving forward, past just commissions, past just writing.

I’m here. I’m moving forward, slowly but surely, and I am making an effort to improve.

#jesus christ mike shut up

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in-the-mines-of-veingadd · 5 years ago

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Important Update (and hopefully the last)

...Oh. Er. Wow. Hello. Been a year and even more.

Really, really sorry about that. Happy New Years, almost.

I meant to post this for a later, later time, but I guess it’s time everyone got an update from me. I am really sorry about all this, honestly.

This is gonna be long, so the rest of it will be under ‘Keep Reading’.

For those that are still here and worried, no, this blog isn’t closing down, and the webcomic is still WIP, however it’s with a heavy heart that I had to do another reboot that’s hopefully going to be the last.

I know I said the same thing last time, but right now, I’ve been researching and actually working on to make this into a professional webcomic, so... things have been going slow for me.

Askbox is opened for any reasons if you have questions, and I will update more as time passed. My new goal to finally start uploading this webcomic will at the VERY least be July 2020, but if things go well, I will be pushing that forward c:

Things will be a little bit personal, and I might be able to open up a little. Thanks for everyone that had supported me, and if you wish to send support/criticism/opinions, feel free to use the askblog, although I won’t be answering some if they get a bit too personal.

Details of the changes are below:

1. Why another reboot?

TL;DR, I can no longer connect myself to the story. It’s very heavy for me to say this, for the Steves and the world means so much to me, whether it was past me or current me. I’ve always wanted to see people smile as they read my webcomics. However, things have changed, and I have changed. Due to personal reasons and real life shenanigans, I have struggled to write something purely wholesome... and it reminded me so much of time gone by. I want to start somehow fresher... and I hope me doing everything I can behind closed curtains will eventually get to that point.

Currently, I am still struggling with the story. It’s a writing process, after all. But coupled with my recent loss of job and working on a portfolio to get another... I am rather focused on getting my life together. I hope I can continue working on it by March... or when I’m feeling less stressed? It’s underway, I can assure you, just delayed.

2. What changes are you planning on implementing?

Oh, a lot... a whole lot, really. The worldbuilding itself stays the same, however, the plot has been rewritten more than ten times now. It frustrated me to no end, and I can’t seem to grasp what I truly want. That’s why I haven’t been updating, I have been struggling and struggling to prepare a story, so I don’t dip out in the middle due to lack of proper planning. I really thank you for your patience.

The changes I’m planning on are:

Webcomic will be episodic format, and medium in length. For now, I want to keep it relatively small and manageable.

Moving the actual webcomic to a different site, e.g. Wordpress. (Website actually underway!) I still researching into this, but I’m planning on making the Tumblr itself a fanspace, while the comic is a separate thing. I’m also thinking of... trying to update once per two months? No promises.

Changing the entire plot. The Steves, too, will undergo a personality change. This one would be a really, really hard one for me to do, and I’m still mulling over it, but... yeah, heads up.

Speaking of writing, actually taking time to plan how the story will unfold. I have plans. Lots of them. It’s just really hard to pick which one I want to go through with. I used to ‘wing it’ in my previous attempts on this blog, and winging it can be easy to do if it’s an askblog... unfortunately this isn’t an askblog anymore, and thus attempts to do so failed. Once I come back, it will be an actually planned webcomic.

Building. This one will be the most time consuming. I was wondering if I can hire extra hands to actually help me with this.

Learning Blender. I might have to render some things there for dramatic reasons, but this, too, is still under research.

3. Are you leaving Tumblr? How are you?

I’m not, and I’m fine. I’m just directing the comic to a space that I’ll be more comfortable with while fans can interact here. I have a Twitter that I sometimes post build updates and arts on. Things has been challenging in real life for me, but I’m managing. I’m actually a little happy with my real life progress. Been managing myself time-wise and testing out things for this webcomic.

4. What if I wanna know updates and whatever you’re working on?

Er... for now, I’ll selectively reply to some questions. I have been promising so much in the past to fail delivering them, and I want to make sure I’ll be able to stick to this and actually make it. I fear updating people too much here would make me focus on updating and not in the actual webcomic. But, I will still post arts and I will always try to be active on Twitter and my main Tumblr.

I hope by saying less and making less promises, i can finally deliver the content.

5. ...What if after all that, you still fail?

Then... I guess I’ll be doing a completely different webcomic. This is really, really my final attempt at all this, and I want it to work. But sometimes, I guess I just can’t create that old magic I used to. It’s such a shame... but I will definitely notify you guys if I decided to just end it.

---

The update sounds depressing, I know. But I’m gonna do my best this time. I can’t make promises, but I wish to at least give something back after continuous failed promises.

I will do my best. I thank everyone who stayed to see what’s going to happen. I’m gonna go back to working on my life, then this.

Thanks for everything, guys.

#minecraft #mines of fengard #update

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theadoptedhale · 6 years ago

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so, i’ve had vincent for a bunch of years. he started as an experiment in 2015, i watched teen wolf and i saw peter suffer and i just decided that fuck you writers, seriously - he needs someone to pick him up, someone to love him unconditionally, because nobody on the show ever will. (there’s the fact im petopher trash, but shhht, that’s a different kind of ship.) anyway, i spent a good month telling myself i didn’t need another teen wolf muse (i had chris and derek at the time) while thinking about how that twin i would never make a blog for could be like.. and then i let him have a test run on a side blog.

back then the fandom was still really active and i ended up feeling so fckn welcome and loved on despite being a twin oc, it was crazy. so i moved him to a main blog. and the idea of an exiled and erased twin developed into so much more. the hours upon hours i spent writing him, perfecting him - the way he speaks or thinks, the way he acts and what he likes and doesn’t like, how he reacts to challenges and changes. he’s no longer just a “twin oc” like he was at first - he’s become so much more. he’s become his own person and my soft wolf child. he’s gone through the group verse phase that took over tumblr in 2015, he’s survived me getting attached to abusive muns and even taking a break. he just keeps coming back stronger.

now y’all probs wonder why on earth i’m blabbering at you. i’ve reached an amount of followers i never thought i would on an OC. those usually stagnate at around 100-170 for me, but vince has made it a lot further and as of earlier today, he’s passed 300 followers. so what i’m doing now is a thank you to those who held out a helping hand when i was grasping for straws.

this is where i get mushy and soft and rambly, so have a cut.

@hereticdefied -- i should probs ramble on about you over on crowley, but vince and rowena have something i really didn’t expect when we decided to let them bump into each other on a road in the middle of nowhere. she’d probs not admit it and he wouldn’t bring it up, but she’d pack to him and he would die for her without hesitating even for a second. i mean he would also kill for her, but so would crowley, lol.

@enduringalpha -- we’re in the same time zone. ahem, no that’s not why you’re on here. i saw daniel and i immediately knew i wanted to get to know you both. it took me a good week to say hi, but damn if it wasn’t worth it. you’re so nice ok. i love writing our wolf boys together and i love that for a chance vince doesn’t feel like a monster in a ship. he can let go and he feels safe and it just makes me so happy i get all giddy when i see you in the activity and then you plaster our dash in stephen amell which is like, fantastic. ur fab and i don’t regret a thing.

@mxleshxven -- words, man. what are words? we got 2 super unique things going and like, we only “recently” started, but shit i’m trash for you and your muses. i lay awake at night imagining eldrick finding out about vince and like, vince expects him to rage and yell and walk away, but instead he just sits there and for the next hour he questions vince on all things werewolf. then there’s vince and thomas, who keeps vince away from all the tom hill crap and the cameras, but some day when he has a live show, he lets his eyes roam the audience and he finds vince sitting there (maybe even with a tom hill shirt which he got off the internet or something) and yes, i’m trash for you. you’re also incredibly nice and easy to talk to and caring and ahhh.

@ofxiron/ @xsurvivedthecage -- samuel. you are the most precious person on this website and i somehow feel super duper protective of you (already) so you better get used to that. cause i’ll go kick butts if anybody types at you funny *grumble huffs* but also ironwolf is life, okay? we just started it, it’s barely a thing yet, but i would kill for them. i’m so giddy and excited and can’t wait for more. i love love love the idea of sam with a supernatural creature and a werewolf only makes it more feelsy bc of the “heart” ep and i’m drowning in feels when thinking about it and yes, vince is ready for some hugssss.

@pieceintheirgxmes -- you’ve been with me since before my break even and we’re still writing our wolves and like, vince is so happy to find pack, you got no idea. we don’t spam-reply daily but we’re making progress in the story and i always look forward to your next reply. nico is precious and needs to be protected at all costs. and luka.. mrrrrrr. vince would give him his alpha powers in an instant if he could, just cause. and they only met. xD

@canonbcys -- nobody has ever drowned (in the best of ways) me in memes like you do and i love it. i’ll be honest, i’m always wary of multi muse blogs with more than like 10 muses? i’ve had some really crappy experiences in the past, so while i’m super open to giving ppl a shot there’s a little voice saying “hmmmmmmmmmmm” while i do. (lol, yeah i hear voices sometimes xD) anyway. you’re amazing. each of your muses (and i’ve gotten a taste of a bunch) are different, unique and ..y’know true to their character. they don’t speak the same, act the same, sound the same, etc. i love love love all of those i’ve interacted with and i’m sure i will/would also love the rest.

@theking-blackheart-muses, @aeternitasintricatae & @thcbcautifullifc -- i haven’t had the chance (i’m slow and bad at communicating) to properly get to know you guys, but know that i’m a fan. i wanna (and will, watch me!) write more with you guys, cause damn. all the love to you three. all. the. love.

this goes to you, but also everybody reading this - everybody who decided that hey, that muse looks kinda cool, i’m gonna follow. thank you for having followed, thank you for giving us a chance and eventually (for now) deciding to stay. thank you.

#out of paws ( ooc )#yoυ’re noт тryιng тo sneaĸ υp on мe. are yoυ? ( proмo \ ооc )#long post #i probs forgot someone #i do that #i seriously love and cherish all of you

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biscuitreviews · 6 years ago

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Biscuit Reviews Final Fantasy VIII Remastered

Final Fantasy VIII has finally received the remaster treatment. This was the last entry from the PS1 and PS2 era that had yet to receive a remaster. The reason it was constantly left out was because during the PS1 and PS2 era, Square didn’t have much of an archiving policy. This meant that the source code for Final Fantasy VIII no longer existed. If this story sounds familiar then it does as the original Kingdom Hearts also suffered the same fate.

Final Fantasy VIII was my entry point into the series and seeing that remastered announcement trailer gave me alot of feelings and a lot of joy that the gaming community would give this game another look.

Now, I’ve already reviewed Final Fantasy VIII for this blog already. This review is mostly going to focus on the remastered edition as well as cover some points I didn’t address in the previous review. I’ll be talking about what changed as well as what improved and what didn’t improve.

Let’s get the obvious change out of the way first and talk about the character models. These new models are absolutely gorgeous. They look like they belong on PS2 game. The details on the new models show more than the original PS1 models. For example, you can now see the Garden Insignia on the Garden student uniforms and you can see Squall’s necklace, both which weren’t as prominent previously. These models go to not only the main characters, but some side characters, NPCs, monsters, and bosses. Almost everything got a nice new coat of paint and pop out more than ever before. Even the weapons that each character wields have more fidelity to them making them stand out in their own way.

One drawback is that the environments look blurry at times. It gives a weird feeling that the models are just running in a background set piece rather than their actual environment. It sort of reminded me of the first Uncharted how the characters looked way out of place from the environment. The world map also looks really rough. Textures look patchy at places and the road is just a big gray line with details popping in and out.

As for battle maps, it’s sort of hit or miss with the remaster. Some battle maps, such as the Galbadian Garden battle map, Edea’s float battle map, and D-Prison battle map, look like they got a nice touch up. Other battle maps such as the battle maps from the world map look incredibly ugly like they got no sort of treatment at all.

One thing I do want to address is the “censorship” issue some people seem to have regarding Rinoa and Siren’s new models. Honestly, I don’t have an issue with their new models. In fact, Rinoa’s new model is actually more closer to the FMV model which gives her more consistency throughout the game. As for Siren, her changes really didn’t bother me. I wish I could add more for Siren’s case, but I don’t have anything, I don’t feel one way or another. The only feeling I do have is if you are a person that has an issue with it then just stick with the PS1 version or the original PC version.

Speaking of FMV’s, they’re a bit on the blurry side. Most of them are not that bad and perform well but is a bit disappointing that they weren’t fully smoothed out. The intro FMV is probably the worst performing one as it’s incredibly slow and does suffer from frame rate issues in a few areas in that particular FMV. At least that seemed to be the case for the Steam version, I’m not sure how the scene plays on consoles. It’s something I hope Square does patch at a later time because this was the main shining point for Final Fantasy VIII which were these very cutscenes, especially with the very first scene having performance issues.

I think some new dialogue might have got added in as well as I ran into a line that I know wasn’t in the original version, particularly the Dollet SeeD field exam where Galbadia soldiers will make a comment that they’re fighting kids. Now the original Final Fantasy VIII did make references to this further in the story, particularly the Timber section. But, to have a new line that has these soldiers questioning and even state outloud that they’re fighting kids does make it more prominent that Squall and the gang are trained child soldiers which further amplifies an interesting subject matter that there is an organization actively training child soldiers with some areas of the world seeming ok with that!

Like the Final Fantasy VII and IX remasters, cheats have been included. These cheats include turning off random encounters, maxing out your health (which for some reason is only available in the Steam version), having limit breaks always available, acquire all cards, and speeding up the game. Now, those cheats might sound like they’ll make the game easier and they can, but turning off random encounters could also be challenging with how Final Fantasy VIII’s Junction/Draw progression system works.

I have to say, speeding up the game cheat was a great addition to this one as Draw farming can be a very mundane task. Now instead of spending 20+ minutes on a single encounter to Draw magic, you can just turn on the faster speed cut your farming by a significant amount. This goes for GF summons as well, no more having to sit there watching the long animation over and over again when you can just click the speed up button and get right back into the battle.

As for random encounters, I never turned them off. I can see how this cheat might actually be more challenging than helpful under the right conditions with how Final Fantasy VIII’s progression work. I can see this being an added layer of difficulty to no EXP challenge runs. This could make it to where you have to play Triple Triad and go to Draw Points to get the spells you need. This could also have your GFs learn abilities at a much slower pace causing you to be a bit more creative with some of the game’s Junction exploits to still fight effectively.

That’s another thing I wanted to discuss, now this isn’t bad, but it was something that I did hope that Square would address for this remaster which was retooling the Junction/Draw progression system. They didn’t change anything which isn’t bad as it maintains the system, but also bad because you can still heavily exploit it. This can be done by having your GFs learn item refinement abilities early and playing a lot of Triple Triad to where you can have what is traditionally late mid-game stats within the first five hours of the game.

Enemies are also still dependent on Squall’s level. This means you can stay at a low level to just kill enemies and even some bosses in one hit with how you can increase stats with the Junction system. That was another thing I hoped Square would address also to make leveling up Squall more meaningful.

I also wished that Square fixed it to where the game didn’t un-Junction your characters at specific points in the story. I get it, make sure you’re equipped and prepared to go, but damn it, why do I still have to double check to make sure the game didn’t decide to be a dick right before a boss fight to un-Junction everything.

You might be wondering with the pros and cons that I listed if the game is worth it. Honestly, yeah I think it is. For $20 USD, it’s a pretty good price for some updates and having the speed up cheat a very welcome addition for the GF summons and Draw farming.

Yes the game still has a somewhat rushed romance, the second half of the story falls apart, and the Ultimecia still feels disconnected to the story as a villain. But to me, that’s part of Final Fantasy VIII’s charm and this is a game that I still love to bits to this day.

In my review for the game a couple years ago. I didn’t give it a review score as I didn’t think I could be objective enough to give it one due to how much this game means to me and what it did for my educational development. However, looking back now I think I can be objective enough to show the differences between the original Final Fantasy VIII on its own and the remastered version. So for this I’ll score Final Fantasy VIII the game as is as well as a separate score for the remastered version.

Final Fantasy VIII receives a 4 out of 5

Final Fantasy VIII Remastered receives a 3 out of 5

This one I’ll admit was tough but I feel the Remastered version could have done a bit more to give it a remastered feel. There were issues in the original that were ripe for Square to fix this go around and they didn’t take that opportunity to fix them. However, despite me giving the remastered version a 3, it’s still a fantastic game and worth the $20 price tag. I’m glad that this game finally got some attention and even opened the door for new Final Fantasy fans to finally take a look at this game.

However, if you’ve been curious about the Final Fantasy series and is someone that is possibly looking for an entry point, Final Fantasy VIII is not a good entry point. Take it from someone whose entry point was this game. Yes, the Junction system is easy to exploit, but it does take time to understand the system to make it easily exploitable. You have to know how to properly train your GFs to get what you need at certain points in the game, know how to make skills you learn from GFs help you with progression, mastering a card game to help you get cards that can lead to items to make you stronger, learn what spells are good to Junction to which stat, and tinkering with Elemental and Status Junctions to better fight enemies with elemental weaknesses. This is better to play when you’ve had a few other Final Fantasy titles under your belt.

If you want recommendations on a good entry point, Final Fantasy XV serves a good entry point as it has all the modern conveniences of games today. Final Fantasy VI and VII also serve as good entry points as both have compelling stories and fun combat. Final Fantasy X is also a great entry point as it has a good mix of both modern and classic and one that I personally recommended as being a good “first Final Fantasy.” Then again that could also be my bias showing as it is my favorite Final Fantasy.

#Final Fantasy VIII #Final Fantasy VIII Remastered #FF8 #FFVIII #video games #video game review #game review #gaming review #gaming #Biscuit reviews #Square Enix

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sculptorofbeginningslibrary · 6 years ago

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Black Eyes & Bloodlust - Chapter 11

THIS IS A RE-POST SINCE THIS CHAPTER WAS POSTED RIGHT BEFORE THE PURGE. THIS STORY AND ALL MY FICS WILL BE POSTED FROM HERE AND REBLOGGED (POSSIBLY POINTLESSLY) TO MY MAIN BLOG UNTIL TUMBLR UN-BLURRIES ME.

My Masterlist

Black Eyes & Bloodlust Masterlist

Summary: Dean has never met his Omega, never even thought there could be one waiting for him–but she’s out there, and they’re connected in ways they could never have imagined.

Characters: DeanxReader, Sam, Cas, a few OC’s

Warnings: SMUT so typical A/B/O warnings, Slow burn (and I mean it. SLOW BURN GUYS.) Language, depictions of mental illness, Gore and Violence. (Warnings will apply to all chapters just to cover all the bases.)

Word Count: ~ 3800

A/N: Pretty Dean-centric chapter :)

Beta’d by @justcallmeasmodeus

AS ALWAYS,

ENJOY!

__~*~__

“Didn’t we just have a conversation about how you liking serial killers is weird?”

Sam rolled his eyes as he fixed his tie in the motel mirror. “I don’t like serial killers, Dean. I just…like studying them. It’s an interesting statistical anomaly that–”

“Woah there, Einstein. You start talking statistics and I’m gonna take a nap.” Dean snagged Baby’s keys from the table and looked over at Sam. “I’ll be in the car when you’re finished primping.”

“I’m not–” Sam started, but the door slammed shut, cutting him off yet again. He rolled his eyes good naturedly, just glad that Dean seemed to be in better spirits knowing that Cas was actively searching for Y/N.

They still hadn’t told Dean what Cas knew, but he seemed to appreciate their new-found enthusiasm enough to agree to check out the Omega serial killer Sam had been following in Colorado. Dean had insisted it ‘wasn’t their kind of thing,’ because monsters didn’t take their time to mutilate their victims only to steal their eyelids before moving on–that was crazy human shit–but after a few days of nagging, he gave in.

Which led to now, with both Winchesters headed up to the police station to interview the sister of a missing Omega. The missing girl fit the victim profile, but normally a body would have been found by now.

Dean was sure it was unrelated, but the sheriffs were insistent that since she was an unmated Omega, they had to treat her case as if it were related to the others.

Sam dropped into the passenger seat of the Impala just as Dean started her up. The comforting purr of Baby’s engine always lulled Dean into a sense of peace he couldn’t find anywhere, especially now that the Mark was assaulting him with new and improved spats of unrest that tested his control in new ways.

“Alright so what are we lookin’ at, Sammy?” Sam pulled up his laptop and went through the case file again.

“Well, uh, the sister’s name is Lane, and Y/N has been missing for almost a week. They found her apartment all torn up. Lane is staying in town even though she lives two hours away so she’s agreed to come in and talk to us.”

“Y/N?” Dean asked, his gut twisting at the name. Sam’s eyes flicked to Dean’s hand tightening on the steering wheel.

“Yeah,” Sam replied softly, “Dean it’s probably not–”

“Yeah I know.” Dean brushed off what he knew Sam was going to say. It probably wasn’t his Y/N. That would be too much of a coincidence, even for their crazy life. “So what else?”

__~*~__

Tex had arranged to meet the witch somewhere on the Colorado Wyoming border, and you drove non-stop to get there. You had been in contact with her through Tex’s phone, and she seemed eager to meet you despite the weirdness of your request.

After assuring her that Tex had kept you safe and given you his phone as proof that he had sent you, she texted you an address.

Another handful of suppressants and Benadryl didn’t help the swelling in your arm or the cramps occasionally rolling through your body, but you chalked it up to lack of sleep. You hadn’t gotten one wink in since killing Tex, nor had you wanted to.

There was a pull guiding you to where you needed to go, and it wouldn’t let you rest until it was satisfied. Like some kind of psychic GPS it was leading you straight to Rowena, as she’d said her name was. The strong feeling made you wonder absently if she really was a witch. If magic was real and this whole time you’d been living in a sweet bubble of normal life not knowing that the supernatural existed, what would that mean for your life? How had it found you after twenty-odd years of boring normalcy? It all seemed too ridiculous, but then again you were certified crazy and officially a murderer but couldn’t bring yourself to care, what did you know?

Your fingers tapped on the steering wheel in time with the soft rock playing on your stereo, not a care in the world despite the growing pile of problems and the blistered wound on your arm. You had a good feeling about this woman.

She had the answers you needed. You didn’t know, like everything these days, how or why you knew that, and the part of you that cared was slowly being replaced by the beast that had been shredding away all sense of who you were.

__~*~__

When Sam and Dean arrived at the station there was a small group of people waiting for them.

Three officers and two doctors were crowded around a crying woman Sam could only guess was Lane. The closer they got to the group, the stiffer Dean’s body went. Sam scented the air, but nothing seemed amiss despite the stomach churning mix of smells that accompanied places like this.

“Hello,” Sam said as the group glanced up, finally noticing their presence. The male doctor looked visibly uncomfortable as the Winchesters stepped close enough for their scent to carry. The female doctor, however, looked ravenous. Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean, who was glaring openly, and without reason, at the male doctor. “We’re Agents Allman and Betts,” they flashed their badges before stuffing them back into their jackets, “We’re looking for an Officer Bishop?”

A sturdy looking officer stepped forward, removing his arm from around the crying woman. “That’s me.” He reached his hand out and Sam shook it, Dean seemed lost in his own world and missed the hand offered to him, looking as though he was trying to solve a particularly aggravating puzzle. Sam cleared his throat and Dean shook himself out of it, glancing suspiciously around the group.

“Are you Lane?” He managed to ask gently towards the only obvious civilian. She nodded, appearing to collect herself and step forward.

“Yes. T-Thank you for coming.”

“It’s not a problem Ma’am, we’re here to help.” Sam tried to smile reassuringly, and started to speak but he was cut off by the female doctor.

“Is there a reason the FBI stepped into this? Is it because you’ve read Y/N’s file? Because I didn’t authorize—”

“Woah woah woah,” Dean said quickly, shutting down her rant. “You mind telling us who you are? Actually, I’m gonna need each of you to provide identification before we discuss any specifics of the case.”

“And…” Sam glanced around, noticing the rising interest in their gathering. “We’re going to need somewhere more private. I think Lane here has had enough being ogled for one day.”

Bishop hopped into action, ushering everyone towards a back room with two couches. Sam let Dean, Bishop and Lane enter before stopping the two doctors and other three officers from going any further. He shut the door, separating the two groups. The officers took the hint and left, leaving only the doctors.

“Excuse me what do you think you’re doing?” the male doctor demanded.

“I need IDs. From both of you.”

“My name is Doctor Mara, and this is my colleague Doctor Cameron,” offered the female with a sultry smile. She produced her ID and piqued an eyebrow at the man beside her until he did the same. “I was the head of Y/N’s medical team while she was in our facility.”

“Your facility?”

“Yes, a psychiatric facility. With Y/N being a missing person of questionable mental integrity Lane called us in, hoping we could provide some help. I’m afraid, however, that a warrant will be necessary for you to access her files.”

She smelled like too-strong cinnamon as she stepped into Sam’s space. It was a seemingly innocent movement, but Sam knew she was trying to bully their way into the room behind him. Doctor Mara seemed like the kind of woman who was used to getting her way.

“Well Doctor, the warrant isn’t necessary in an active missing persons case because of relevant information that might lead to the victim’s whereabouts. I’m guessing you have the file on you or you wouldn’t have brought it up, so how about we cut the crap and you tell me what’s going on here? Since when do contracted psychiatrists make house calls to family members?”

“Y/N is a special case,” Doctor Cameron spat. He had decided he didn’t like the FBI Agents the second he scented them. The way they carried themselves and the way the shorter one smelled rankled him. He reeked of gunpowder and old leather–a combination that had been intolerable since Y/N had almost killed him.

Their attitudes didn’t help. Like all Federal Agents they thought they owned every piece of ground they walked on, he could see it plain as day.

“A special case?” Sam asked, waiting patiently and making it obvious they wouldn’t be going any further until they told him something worth knowing.

__~*~__

“Knowledge? Dearie, I know everything worth knowing.” The red-headed woman with the thick Scottish accent was beautiful as she sipped her wine, looking other-worldly. You felt mildly self conscious sat at the same table, but mostly you were curious about her.

How did someone so gorgeous know someone like Tex?

“Then you can help me find them?”

Rowena grimaced. Perpetually, the fucking Winchesters were a pain in her ass. Even hundreds of miles away she couldn’t escape them.

“Why d’you want the Winchesters? I can teach you everything you need to know. I can feel the magic wafting off of you, dear. You shouldn’t want them for anything. What is it? A spell?” Her eyebrow arched perfectly as you stared blankly at her, unsure of what to say. “For your heat, dearie. Doesn’t take a witch to smell that too.”

“You can do that? Take it away?” You voice lowered excitedly as you surveyed the room suspiciously, missing her comment about your magic.

“Of course! Didn’t Tex tell you who I am?” She seemed slightly offended, but you shrugged.

“No…I mean, nothing other than you being the most powerful witch he’d ever met.” He hadn’t said that, but you had a feeling it was something she liked hearing.

“Well,” she gushed, feigning bashfulness, “he wasn’t lying there. I can do just about anything you need.” Rowena contemplated you for a moment before reaching some kind of decision. “Give me your hand.” She held hers out across the table, smiling encouragingly for you to do the same.

When you slid your arms across, your sleeve rolled up, revealing the rash on your arm. You didn’t miss the widening of her eyes as she spotted it, and you quickly covered it back up.

“No no no, love. Let me see.” Rowena caught your arm, her delicate fingers clasping you with a strength her petite frame hid well. You hissed when the fabric brushed against the raw flesh as she gently rolled your sleeve up. “Oh my,” she mused, taking in the oddly shaped blister on your arm.

It was raw and red, seeping where spots had popped. There were tinges of black beginning to vein out around the edges which usually meant infection…but you were sure that wasn’t the case here.

You could practically see the gears turning in her head as she examined you. The warmth of her touch was soothing and discomforting at once.

Rowena knew more about you than you could ever imagined. She had divined your purpose right after talking to you for the first time and now, after touching you and the vicious curse on your arm, she understood your predicament fully.

Dean Winchester’s Omega had the Mark of Cain, just like her Alpha. It was an interesting development, one that Rowena knew she should be working in her favor, but she found herself feeling bad for you. She could see the black ooze overtaking your aura, smell the curse on you as surely as she could smell your heat, even with her Beta nose.

The power emanating from you had her wondering just how someone could acquire a curse in the way you had. Your personality was hidden under layers of desperation she didn’t think even you could see any longer, but she could tell you were an innocent buried under the blanket of evil the Mark had thrown over you.

She wanted to help, but as of yet the Winchesters were her enemies, and no matter how much she liked you, pride wouldn’t let her. Better to let the pains in her ass have a pain of their own.

“What?” You asked, suddenly worried as something flickered in her eyes. It was the first real emotion you’d felt since leaving Tex.

“Oh it’s nothing. Just…” her well manicured nails ghosted across your palm and she closed her eyes, feeling the magic there. “I can feel him. Your mate.”

You snatched your hand back, astounded. Maybe she really was magic after all.

“How do you know about Dean?” You hissed. Her smile was patient.

“Your body told me. And the magic. He is the source of it.” Her smile formed into something more sinister as she continued, taking in your shock. “He’s there you know. I saw him when I touched your mark. He’s at your home, standing in your living room as we speak.”

__~*~__

Dean stared at the file, fighting the urge to vomit. Sam had strong-armed the doctors into giving up Y/N’s file while Dean had interviewed Lane. She hadn’t been able to offer much besides Y/N suffering from nightmares, being committed, and the strange turn of her personality. None of it seemed relevant to the serial killer, but his gut was telling him something he couldn’t understand.

The file was thicker than any patient file either brother had ever seen, and contained more than just the pictures Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away from. It was a record of everything Y/N had said while interred, every procedure and every move she’d made, but Dean hadn’t made it past the pictures.

It was her.

She looked like shit in the first one, dark bags under her eyes, hair ratty and unkempt, her body swallowed up by an unflattering patient’s uniform. In the other she was smiling wide for the camera, lit up eyes sparkling out at him under perfectly styled hair. His finger traced longingly down the center of her happy face, wondering if being connected to him had done this to her.

“Dean? What’s going on?” Sam closed the door, leaving Officer Bishop to lead Lane to his car for the trip back to her hotel. Sam didn’t like the look on Dean’s face, at all.

“Sammy…” Dean started, his voice cracking as he laid the folder flat so they both could see. “It’s her…It’s…this is her.”

New panic was taking him over as he realized how close they had been, and now she was ripped from his grasp. “God Sammy, what if she’s…” he broke off, voice cracking and unable to form the words.

Sam wanted to object, but the pure emotion and certainty on Dean’s face stopped him.

Looked like his hunter senses had been more on point then expected.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Dean removed the pictures and handed Sam the file. There was one photo remaining Dean hadn’t seen, and Sam slipped it to the back of the pile before he could dwell too long on it.

The last thing he needed was to analyze the familiar looking rash.

The most recent files were on the top, and it only took three pages for Sam’s stomach to finish dropping to his feet. He swallowed thickly as he read the lines she had babbled while unconscious.

They were transcripts of Y/N’s last, and apparently most intense, episode. Behind those were the transcripts of her hypnosis session with…Doctor Cameron.

Sam’s head snapped towards the door, eyes narrowing as he tried to put all the pieces together. When he looked back at Dean, his brother hadn’t moved, still entranced in the glassy eyes staring up at him from the lifeless photo paper.

Turns out it was their kind of thing after all, and it was time to call Castiel.

Dean had Y/N’s picture safely tucked into his jacket the minute Castiel had convinced him to move from his stupor. Cops had watched warily as the terrifying Agent stomped his way through the precinct and slammed his way out the door, Castiel in tow. Sam had waved apologetically, hoping they wouldn’t attract too much more attention.

The ride was awkwardly silent.

Castiel revealed Y/N’s prayers and the life he thought she’d taken once they’d gotten into the car and Dean hadn’t said a word since. Dean’s pounding heart practically filled the empty space as he raced to the address they’d been given. Sam’s stomach felt like it had pushed up into his chest as Dean took a few rough corners, but he wisely kept his mouth shut.

“Dean…”

“Shut up Cas.” Dean’s tone was shaky, but firm. No words would suffice now that he knew the truth of what Castiel had seen.

Dean was furious at both of them for so many reasons. A week. She’d been missing for a week. If they hadn’t searched so hard for Cain they might have found her before this.

As if sensing Dean’s thoughts, Sam’s were running along the same line. His guilt was compounding with every word he read from Y/N’s file. He turned another page.

From the looks of it, she’d been suffering a breakdown since Dean had taken on the Mark.

In the silence, all they could do was think. All they could do was ponder their mistakes and every sign they’d ignored.

Every time they’d brushed Dean off in favor of curing the Mark. They’d told themselves it was for Dean. It was for the greater good.

As Sam handed Cas the file, open to the pages where she had directly quoted Dean while he was being cured, he knew it was a lie.

Dean was tapping her song onto the steering wheel as he glared at Y/N’s apartment building. Sam had cleared his throat twice, but nothing was pulling Dean out of the car until he was ready.

Castiel had a habit of not realizing awkward situations, but this one was unavoidable. He knew finding Cain had been the right thing, but it didn’t feel like it at the moment. He exchanged a loaded glance with Sam in the rearview mirror that felt endless, their shared guilt simultaneously connecting them and separating them from Dean.

Then the driver door was flung open and Dean was gone. He was on the landing by the time Sam and Castiel entered the building, his head dropped against the door and eyes tightly closed as he inhaled the scent of death seeping thick though it.

Sam and Castiel smelled it too, and wondered what the police could have missed that was causing it. Dean’s hand hovered over the doorknob before he shoved it open, taking the crime scene tape with him when he stepped inside.

The smell of her was faint, it was obvious she hadn’t been there in a while, but it still smelled just like he expected–minus the rotting flesh somewhere in the apartment. His experienced eyes searched everything from the blood stains under his feet to the vomit stains by the couch.

The room was a disaster unlike anything he’d seen, but some part of him knew there hadn’t been a struggle. She’d done this herself.

His connection to her was singeing his arm, digging in and giving him flashes of emotion that came and went, flitting about like a hummingbird in search of nectar. His eyes followed the line of destruction until they found the room he was searching for. The one that contained her scent stronger than any other.

His feet were moving before he told them to, carrying him into what he discovered was her bedroom. Castiel and Sam hovered in the entryway surveying the damage as Dean had, but not seeing the pattern Dean had followed. Dean had no care for them as he stood just inside her door with his eyes closed, letting his nose and the Mark lead the way. He could hear them moving around despite the carpet muffling their steps.

“Get out!” He yelled suddenly. The feel of them inside her space was too much combined with the scent of Y/N, death, and the dozens of people that had traipsed through collecting evidence. Dean heard them stop then shuffle out the door. He waited until he heard the click before he really started searching.

The idiot officers couldn’t have used their noses because the scent of rot was strongest here. The knot headed alphas probably only scented her panty drawer, while the Betas probably hadn’t smelled anything besides the rotting flesh somewhere in the apartment.

Everyone was operating on the assumption that her body was hidden somewhere inside the apartment from the smell, but Dean’s instincts were telling him different. There was something dead, but it wasn’t his Omega.

The song playing in his head was evidence enough of that, but it didn’t mean she hadn’t been taken. Maybe the man she’d killed was the one who’d taken her…maybe she was on her way home.

Dean didn’t need to open any drawers considering they were all on the floor already. All but one.

His Alpha raged at seeing her panty drawer placed on the bed, two familiar Alpha scents lingering around it. They’d been at the police station.

There was only red as he grabbed the wooden drawer and slammed it into the wall. His chest heaved with the effort as he tried to control himself, forcing himself to remember that they hadn’t actually touched her. That crime was reserved for someone else. Someone who was possibly dead, and if they weren’t…they would be.

The Mark amplified his anger, but he was dealing with it better than anyone else would have. He caught a whiff of the death through the disturbed air and followed it to where the drawer had shattered against the wall.

Almost absently he grabbed a pair of her panties, barely a scrap of fabric, and tucked it into his pocket before moving the broken pieces of wood. Underneath, a small pile of books had been tossed just as carelessly as everything else around him.

“Sam!” He called, knowing they would come.

Everything in him knew what he was about to find, but he couldn’t believe it until he pulled the Bible from the bottom of the pile.

Dean almost gagged as his hand touched it, violent visions of sticking knives into innocent Omegas assaulting him.

“Dean?” Sam called from the doorway, knowing better than to step inside. His nose rankled as Dean crossed the room with the Holy book in hand. Castiel arrived just as Dean opened it to pages that were bulging the book out at the center.

The three men stared, disbelieving, at the Bible in Dean’s hands.

Castiel covered his mouth as realization set in, his eyes taking in the multitude of emotion the brothers were expressing.

Pressed between the pages, rotting, slick and wet, staining the pages black, were eight sets of dismembered eyelids.

__~*~__

Questions? Comments? Incoherent screaming?

Bring it on!

🖤

__~*~__

Story Tags:

@allaboutbailey @alligator210 @amarokofficial @antiscocialfanwarrior @bodhi-black @deanna-s-winchester @deliciouslydisturbed365 @edensparks @erinmcd1234 @faith901t-blog @fangirl-and-medstudent-help @fangirlanotherjust @flamencodiva @getnaildbyme @hennessy0274-blog @hotterthanfire-colderthanice @jodibullock1 @karouwinchester @katkit73 @kbl1313 @kittenofdoomage @mannls @mbbevans @mistress-sassafras @ne-gans @pickleporkupine @rainbowkisses31 @secretlysage @shatteredabby @spnskinnyballs @starfirerules @tamtamlov @tgwge @thatrandomredheadchick @tumbler-tidbits @ultrahviolent @violentmommabear42 @weepingwillowphoenix @whisperingwillows @wildsageleon @winchesterprincessbride @witchyhoeski

4ever&ever Tags:

@ain-t-bovvered @bamby0304 @curly-haired-disaster @dean-winchesters-bacon @ldyhawkeye @justcallmeasmodeus @maddiepants @mogaruke @mrs-meghan-winchester @stormy-skies-1997 @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @waywardbaby

Dean Tags:

@adoptdontshoppets @akshi8278 @bobasheebaby @paranoiadestroyah

#Black Eyes & Bloodlust #Ch 11 #a/b/o verse #a/b/o #series #dean x reader #reader insert #alpha!deanxomega!reader #dark!fic #moc!dean #fanfiction #spn fanfiction #supernatural fanfiction

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dazais-guardian-angel · 6 years ago

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I’m sorry this blog has been so dead-feeling and sporadic for a while now. Not that anyone probably cares, but if any of my followers somehow still enjoy following me, I’m sorry to you all. (tmi health issues below)

I haven’t “updated” in a long while, mostly because I don’t feel like I’m on the verge of dying anymore, like I did all throughout 2017 to maybe halfway through 2018; my health has been pretty stable for a while now. But it’s almost like once my thoughts didn’t have to be preoccupied with constant terror and depression of the worst kind 24/7, now it’s made room for other things to take hold of me. I don’t have panic attacks anymore (at least that I know of; I definitely had one the other night, though), but I have mental anxiety more than ever about really random and ridiculous things, and intrusive thoughts. I’ve gotten a lot of writing done but at the same time feel more unproductive than ever; I’ve always had bad executive dysfunction, but for the last couple months it’s felt worse. I’ve nearly dropped off of drawing entirely; I wish I did it more, but I’ll never be good enough and it’ll never get enough attention to feel like it’s worth the exhaustion it takes. And I probably have actual depression, if I didn’t before then I probably definitely do now; I’ve started to be able to tell the difference in my moods between days, where I feel really invigorated and into something and wanting to do something, and when I feel really down and can’t bring myself to do anything I mean even more than usual lol and feel like I want to cry sometimes for no reason.

I don’t feel as passionate about stuff anymore, which is probably a BIG WARNING SIGN cause I’ve heard other people say this, but yeah. I’m constantly feeling like I should go “give myself a break from writing”, so I just end up playing small, shorty video games that don’t hold my attention very well, instead of working on my backlog of big games that I know are gonna keep me busy for a while each once I start them... otherwise I just stay at my computer thinking that surely I’ll feel like writing something else soon, because I know deep down I want to work on filling my remaining ideas, and I know I can because I have been steadily uploading the last few months, but then I’ll just end up sitting here doing nothing in the end. Or if I get lucky, write. But it just feels like literally everything I do is happening at a snail’s pace now, for no reason. Getting through anime episodes now is tedious, at least for seasonal anime that I’m just trying out and not stuff I already know I’ll love. Keeping up with manga is hard too, I’m so behind on so many series, except for MHA because the chapters are short and weekly instead of monthly, which somehow helps. I like to read at night before sleeping, but I usually fall asleep so quickly after laying down, it’s frustrating. And none of this should matter because no one cares but me but I can’t stand it, especially when my anxiety is constantly making me worried about how long my lifespan is gonna be and that I need to hurry up and do shit quicker. :))))))

All of those mental health diagnoses are just speculation though, since I haven’t been officially looked at by anyone, cause we don’t know where to find anyone. Maybe adhd meds would help me, but who knows when I’ll be able to try any if I do, because I’m already taking so many physical health meds that my parents are always wary about adding unnecessary ones, especially since we’re so uneducated when it comes to the delicacies of mental health meds.

My health problem has morphed into a swallowing problem; I have extra saliva and mucus that gets “stuck” and won’t go down all the way unless I swallow a lot, and I can’t drink or eat anything anymore, which is literally the most agonizing thing in the world, I’m so thirsty (I’m still getting nutrition; please don’t ask how). I’ve done a couple tests and they’ve been fine, so no one knows what’s going on, and my parents have been lax about setting up to go to a better hospital because things aren’t urgent anymore like they used to be now that I have a reflux med. I mean, at least as far as I know; who tf knows what’s happening to me I also have leg nerve pain from sitting in a wheelchair all day every day, which is nothing new at all, it’s been a thing for years, but lately it’s been absolutely agonizing because I’m too underweight to pad my body and my wheelchair isn’t a good fit for me and getting the people to take the steps to change things takes literal months because they’re slow and lazy as molasses. My back is constantly tight too, to varying degrees, sometimes better, and I don’t know what that is, maybe anxiety, but that’s frustrating too cause it makes breathing ever so harder. So yeah, I’m not fearing for my life anymore, at least consciously, but things are still hard and I’m so tired that they’re still like this and they’re just making my mental health worse. I spend most days not doing anything, suffering in some small annoying way that’s enough to keep me from being able to focus on anything, and going to the relief of bed, to repeat forever.

I’m realizing that I’m just lonely. I’m so lonely. Everything is so different now than it was even three years ago; so many of my online friends are gone, even if we’re still mutuals on tumblr; the first online community I ever joined that first got me into online friendships and animanga has long since disbanded. Various mutuals on here I never really talked to but was used to seeing in my activity are gone. Other friends have changed slightly, though they’re still dear to me; I have new ones that are dear to me too, but yet others that I don’t feel a real connection with, and it feels like we’re just surface level acquaintances. One of my two closest and best of friends, one of the first friends I ever made years ago, abandoned me late last year, and to be honest I don’t know why. I did hurt her, but I feel confident in saying that it wasn’t to a degree that was unforgivable, or at least wasn’t worthy of a chance to redeem myself, so.... yeah, I don’t know why. She had changed a lot by that point, shut down a lot, and when I set her off and she left, it was as if all that time we’d spent so close together meant absolutely nothing anymore, had never happened... I don’t understand it. It hurts so much. I tried to contact her in other ways multiple times, by letter and by email, apologizing profusely, and she ignored all of them. It hurts and I’ve thought about it so much, I know I haven’t truly coped with it yet, but have only tried to ignore it, and I desperately need someone to tell me that I didn’t do anything wrong (at least, not wrong enough for that reaction). Cause right now I just still hate myself for it deep down, am so worried about her, worried about how she is right now, wish I knew what she was thinking/thought then, all because of my mistake..... I don’t understand, I don’t know what to do, and it makes me think that all this time I’ve been a lot more terrible of a person than I’ve ever known, and that I’ll just keep accidentally pushing people away by trying to get too close, just like her.

She abandoned me, the few “adult friends” I’ve had irl abandoned me and never talk to me anymore once they stopped working for us, so I guess I’m just cursed this way. The main thing is that I’m seeking and craving interactions with people that no one I know want to have; I love analyzing fiction and getting into the meta and all that stuff, said online friend who abandoned me and I were on nearly the same wavelength when it came to this kind of thing, and we talked for hours and hours about different series and what made them work and why they didn’t work, getting real Deep(tm), and going against popular fandom opinions we thought were wrong (cause we were/are in the minority who disagreed with some of the praise for certain big name series lmao) lol, and that was my normal for a few years... and to have all that be gone is so alien. We were going to collab on a fic together, and that barely got off the ground before she left. I’m dying to have it all back so much, but none of my other friends are into that kind of discussion like she was, and I feel like a piece of shit for acting like they’re “lesser” than her for that, but that’s basically how I’m unintentionally acting.... and I hate myself for it. But I can’t help it; I don’t know what to do. I just know I’m bursting at the seams practically with so much I want to talk about and do that I can’t and I’m so lonely and it’s all so frustrating and depressing and I’m so tired of it all. So aimless and tired and bored and unmotivated and afraid and wishing more than ever that I had 2016 back, before everything became so fucked up in so many ways.

I’m so sorry, anyone who’s friends with me now reading this; you’re all so important to me and I don’t mean to act like you’re not. I’m just sorry I’m such a mess. I need a new purpose, but I don’t know what that is. Maybe I should use this blog to write more meta posts, besides that one. Maybe I should actually post my fics here, although as everyone on tumblr knows, fics get even less notes than art does, so even though my MHA fics get a decent amount of attention as it is, maybe it wouldn’t matter if I put them here too. Is it obvious I’m just a lazy greedy lonely ass craving validation and attention and friendship at this point.......... lol......... I’m just a wreck, I feel so suppressed and aimless, trapped in a life that’s too suffocating and alone for me. And I don’t know how long I and this blog are going to stay this way, so........ I’m sorry, anyone who cares.

Thank you, everyone who’s followed me and still follow me; I appreciate you all so much, and haven’t forgotten a single one of you early ones I’ve talked to before. Hopefully eventually this blog will feel more alive again, eventually........ eventually.............. whenever I find what it is I need, somehow. In the meantime I’ll just keep reblogging MHA posts like a broken record I guess lol.

#personal posts #this is long overdue #I say as if I have a huge following and people who've been Waiting For News #looooooooool #tl;dr i am a lonely friendless bitch who wants attention and validation and friendship Exactly Like It Used To Be #stuck with probably all of the big mental health illnesses out there now who can't get jack shit done #........so basically like every other person on tumblr lmao #almost every day is pointless now even moreso than they already were #when will I be Free (hint: never as long as I stay stuck in a disabled body in a sheltered house with no friends and parents who don'tgetme

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worldhoppinglyokowarriors · 7 years ago

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RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: Bluebird OOC Contact: Tumblr IM, Discord (mutuals only)

Who the heck is/are my muse(s) anyway:

Odd and Aelita are two of the main characters from the cartoon Code Lyoko. However, my iterations of them are canon-divergent, so they’re a bit different than their regular selves in the cartoon. (They still experienced the entirety of the events in the cartoon up until right before the final two episodes.) Having gained use of their Lyoko forms on Earth from an extreme bug in the system, and also lost everything in one massive attack by XANA that threw them all into different universes.

Points of interest:

As mentioned above, Odd and Aelita have use of their Lyoko forms outside of Lyoko, in the real world, so they can transform in and out of them at will. Their forms are similar to how they look when Translated (like as if from a Replika) and they have the same powers for the most part. Another interesting thing is that they both have a kind of magic bracelet (yeah sorry this is a bit of a cheesy cop out lmao) which enables them to travel almost anywhere they want to. (Hence the blog’s URL, worldhoppinglyokowarriors)

What they’ve been up to recently:

In one thread, Odd and Aelita went into another version of their home world, and have to help the Lyoko Warriors there counteract a serious XANA attack. Them having their Lyoko powers on Earth will prove to be a great asset to that world's Lyoko Warriors. @einsteinoflyoko

In another, Odd met a double of himself and he's trying to convince his alter that he's real and not one of XANA's tricks or Jeremie's strange clones. @svelteccat

In yet another, Odd was about to travel to another world when he was stopped by a rather inquisitive robot passerby. @roboticxbutler

And also another thread he decided to go find a certain ghostly friend of his after a long time of not seeing each other. @ectoplasmiic

Where to find them:

It's more likely that you will find them since they're always traveling to many places in the universe. They could be in towns, cities, or any other areas of civilization in general. On the rare occasion, they might find themselves alone in a natural environment, such as a forest, or a secluded lake, or anywhere that's not too remote but not too populated either. Really, with their ability to travel anywhere it's easy to do crossovers.

Current plans:

To stop being so slow with replying to things and also get around to all the old threads that are collecting dust in my drafts for up to several months >w> Also get more RPs going because the more the merrier x’D And side note, I’m incredibly tempted to eventually add on Yumi (from their world) at some point because I like her too and I think they’d make a good trio and writing her would throw something interesting into the mix ahaha

Desired interactions:

Tbh I want to RP with some Steven Universe muses but I'm too shy to follow anyone from my main blog ( @bluebirdsmuses ) and idk if anyone in that fandom would wanna interact with my muses :c Also as for another thing, I kinda wanna try my hand at shipping (again, after so many years) but I doubt anyone would care to ship with my Odd and I'm too picky because of bad experiences in the past :/ And also also, I just want more interactions with more Code Lyoko muses but the RPC is so tiny and not very active these days, so I just seek out more crossovers to have enough interactions on here to keep things interesting for me. Yeah, more crossover RPs would be great to have as well! And one more thing, I just want some more RPs where they gotta use their Lyoko forms and things get serious and dangerous and just a lot of tough stuff and ofc some angst >:3 yeah they haven't suffered quite enough for my tastes so bring on the pain >x'D

Offered interactions:

Idk what this means but feel free to come into my asks/IMs and throw some plots and ideas at me! Let’s get those creative juices flowing!

Current open post/s:

I’m not one for writing open RPs, I'm just not good at writing starters for anything in general :/

Anything else?:

If you made it this far you have my gratitude. Code Lyoko is such a great cartoon and I love my muses to bits and pieces. I’m like one of the very few Code Lyoko RPers that’s still in the RPC from like 5 years ago, and also one of the few that’s still active. I hope the RPC will regain some life again sometime, even though the cartoon has been done for practically a decade now. (not counting Evolution since my muses never experienced the events of that continuation of the show)

Tagging: anyone who wants to do this!

#ooc #meme thing #long post #rp plotting cheat sheet

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