#by 'we' i mean he got himself cuz hes a FUCKING IDIOT LMAO

[sewercentipede]

i can see why you hide your face in every pic yikes lmao nice ketamine powder btw retard it's a crystal and that shit dont even look real.. u look super cool in your ubiquitous tumblr outfits tho and I'm glad ur dream journal is so popular lmao kill yourself ugly

so this ask sent by notorious tumblr predator/pedophile/CSA-collecter/rapist known as wesley allison ulmer has been sitting in my inbox for 2 years and i decided to like check and see if i could find whatever his new accounts are and it turned into me going down a massive rabbit hole finding dead tumblrs and instagram accounts and then i found...

ladies and gentlemen... we got him

[tigerdrop]

your laios and chilchuck idea is incredible. inspired. your mind

thank you . it just hits a lot of points for me. generally i think people are sleeping on these two b/c chilchucks like half his size but for me that is the whole fucking point........jaded and bitter divorcee whos kind of mean and self-interested and only begrudgingly learns to care about his companions? AND you could throw him over your shoulder like a sack of grain??? come ON man. you have to see my vision

he would look really good under a tallman with a great rack. is all im saying

envision with me. a take on the "we got turned into girls" trope except laios is chill and normal about it and doesnt really feel a lot different and chilchuck experiences the worst gender dysphoria of his life. how can laios be so normal about this, he thinks, while simultaneously wanting to fuck a hole through him

it would drive him nuts cuz he doesnt know how to feel like himself like this. he feels like everybody can see it on him. hes constantly scrutinizing himself to see how well he can hide whats wrong with him. and then heres laios just chillin with his tits hanging out in a shirt like "what do you mean? i feel fine. but you know this is kind of like a monster i saw"

(sorry babe . it was really vivid imagery and i wanted to share.)

boys love seeing their huge tall companions while they bathe and getting turned on by all the brand new curves and the mystery of whatevers going on between their legs now (not like he can see. just cuz they wash up together doesnt mean chilchucks trying to get an eyeful of whatevers under the bush) and feeling weirdly reassured by the fact that laios looks hot like this even though the short hair and the broad body and the hair and the voice still very much scream "this is a guy"

"what if falin was bigger and taller and more butch" Yeah what am i?? Gay??? Fucking Gay?????

i think laios would even have like. a similar kind of intense scholarly enthusiasm to his discoveries about monsters. but about his own body......like no he doesnt care all that much about being a tallman but he is fascinated by the differences in how his body feels. and you know the first thing he did was play with himself. scientifically

you could make chilchuck gay as fuck for seeing tits popping out of armor. you could do this the people ask me. "is it still gay if chilchuck is desperately clinging to heterosexuality". and to that i say yes b/c hes just stone LMAO......hes letting himself stare like a fucking idiot in a way he wouldnt stare at any girl hes ever met in his life. Its different bc laios is a guy too. Its more mystifying

its like locker room camaraderie. its like "boys bathe at the same time in the dungeon" but somehow even more erotic. its seeing a weird hot guy cup his tits like hes surprised to see them, like he wasnt aware that that was why his armor was so tight after the pollen incident

laios, oblivious to chilchucks trains of thoughts fighting each other, cupping his tits thoughtfully and asking him "are yours like… sensitive? kinda sore?"

anyway. transsexual chilchuck elbow-deep in tallman pussy. Happy new year

[stinkgh]

I just finished the Scarlet & Violet DLC The Teal Mask (scarlet) and I think this is one of the dumbest stories we've ever had in a while. And I don't mean the Ogrepon and the Loyal/Toxic Three Legend, but more so Carmine and Kieran are just fucking dumb as fuck and got on my last ever ending nerves and playing messenger as a part of the game was really annoying to deal with.

Carmine's tsundere attitude got on my last God damn nerves and as someone who had to grow up around unstable mental health like that was not cute to witness her straight up bullying and threatening to hurt her little brother and everyone else like that. Like where are your parents and what is the deal with ur home life babe cuz your eggshell attitude is toxic as fuck. And also like bitch you think ur all that and a bag of chips but you're literally dog shit compared to Penny, Arven, and even Nemona had better depth and development than Carmine could ever dream. And you rollin with a Champion Level Bitch aka ME. So you can keep talking smack about ~oUtSiDeRs~ but you need to put some RESPECT on Paldea's name cuz u keep making a fool of urself and I'm embarrassed for you at this point.

Kieran on the other hand, is one of the most 2 dimensional Eren Jaeger ass wannabe characters we've seen in a while and when I say Eren Jaeger I mean in the concept that Eren had one objective on his mind the whole damn time and that never changed until he knew the truth and then it became genocide. And all Kieran talks about is Ogrepon this Ogrepon that until he hears the truth and then suddenly he's turning on us??? Like WHY IS HE TURNING INTO A VILLIAN JUST BECAUSE WE DIDNT TELL HIM A FUCKING BED TIME STORY LIKE HUH??? Bitch YOU STOOD THERE AND HEARD UR POP-POP SAY WHY WE COULDNT TELL U THE TRUTH U DUMB FUCKING BABY... cuz you was gonna run head first and TELL EVERYONE AND GET URSELF IN TROUBLE you fucking IDIOT... and what does he do??? HE TELLS EVERYONE.

Idk they just piss me off so bad. Like yeah it works out in the end but my God these two siblings are horrible and the worst part is that they're actually kinda charming by the end of it all and that just PISSES ME OFF EVEN MORE!!! Carmine actually takes us seriously and starts acting like a big sister would and Kieran actually takes on a big responsibility all by himself in order to grow and challenge himself to keep up with us. LIKE FUCK OFF CUZ YALL STILL ANNOYING AS FUCK AND I HATE THAT WE'RE EVEN STILL HERE WITH U ASSHOLES. this has been the most absolute mediocre ass school vacation of my entire life but hey at least I got an OgrePON PON WEI WEI WEI PON PON WEI PON WEI PON PON reference in a few times so~

Another thing I'm not really satisfied with is just how much the festival took a back seat to everything else going on. Like I LOVE the forced linearity of going through the day searching for signposts and Ogrepon lore. But why didn't they force us back to the festival square each night for a different event each time???? THAT WOULD HAVE MADE IT SO MUCH BETTER, THATS WHAT I WAS EXPECTING TBH. Like Ogre Ousting is fun and all but what about a live performance at the playhouse? And maybe a parade float down Revelers Road? FOR A STORY THAT FOCUSES ON A FESTIVAL THE ACTUAL FESTIVAL SURE DID PLAY A MINIMAL ROLE IN THE STORY.

AND WHY IS THERE NO FLY POINT TO THE FKN OGRE NEST LIKE FUCK OFF I HATE SCALING THIS MOUNTAIN EVERY TIME I NEED TO GET UP THERE

Overall I'm actually enjoying it despite the yelling lmao

I do have to wonder why they keep showing that .. mole? Thing on Kieran's neck... is it just a mole? Or is it something toxic.. has he been controlled? Are we looking at another Lusamine and Nihilego toxin situation?? Tbh I doubt it bc there's no other outward signs Kieran is being "possessed'... like his eyes aren't different colors and theres nothing else visible about him to suggest it. But goddamn they keep showing that mole and I'm like... okay... cool mole bro.... wtf lmao

Also Briar is a Pokemon in human form from Area Zero just like Geeta is. Their true significance will be shown in The Indigo Disk.

[gaming-thoughts-by-an-idiot]

"Draugen" Game (part 1)

"Ooo norway"

"Oooo fjords"

"Ah!! AH! MY CITY, THEYRE TALKING ABOUT MY CITY"

"This is very nice, I like the aesthetic"

Game: lead character artist "Hans Christian Andersen"

Me: isnt he dead?

"Unless someone just took snippets from his stories or idk tbh, I cant remember reading much from him... maybe I should"

"Who is Lissie?"

"The main character, Edward, hes like old or more like 40 maybe? Idk, but he have to rest up hills and I honestly judged him, as if I dont have to stop several times too and hold my fucking inhaler in case my lungs decide to test me"

"Oh... ooh no... the flag is half mast.. hehe. That means someone is dead"

"Haha I can see her, but he had to rest"

Lissie: seriously?

Edward, through his teeth: you're not the one who's carrying a f-... suitcase

"Good save"

"Okay so Lissie is 17, so maybe shes his kid?"

"I fucked with the gamma, and theres no reset, and I cant remember if this is how it was oh no help"

"His name is-- A I GOT AN ACHIEVEMENT "

"His name is Mr. Harden"

"Damn, twins marrying twins... odd"

"Is that odd? I feel like that might be? Weird? Idk is it? AAA my head"

"AALESUND"

"Love it when people say it like that, beautiful"

"ITS SO DARK"

"I WANT TO BE ABLE TO SEE"

"ooo, a sailor ship chest thing... I got one of those"

"Okay I think Lissie is his kid"

"We found his sister's scarf, he got super dizzy, he had to take a nap"

"Poor guy"

"Uh oh... child gone"

"OH MY GOD JUMP SCARE"

"IT WAS BETTY IN THE WINDOW"

"OH JESUS MY HEART"

"Yeah the clock is definitely broken, it was 12:45 when he took a nap too, so unless its close to midnight?"

"You didnt even LOOK in the kitchen, u opened it and went OH ALRIGHT NOTHING HERE fucking idiot"

"JUST GO UPSTAIRS AND CHECK FOR FUCKS SAKE"

"I wonder if we're actually gonna see draugen"

"Oo muddy"

"What if draugen is scary"

"Who the fuck is Alice?"

"I gotta google this"

"Okay so Lissie is Alice... and Lissie is not his kid. And apparently Edward is 'young'... this is confusing"

"Oooh, he slipped and fell down rocks, ouch"

"Lissie is still missing"

"A lobster trap"

"Lissie! I found her"

"Our boat is gone"

"Back to the house, get cleaned up, and sleep... let's see what happens"

"Google said the game takes about 3 hours, which is good, cuz my sister is back after that, and she havent played the game yet"

"I can explore upstairs yass"

"Oo piano"

"Draugen waltz.. nice"

"Oh! I got an achievement for playing the piano- OMG A 100??? HOLY SHIT"

"Damn... norway is so beautiful"

"I cant believe I thought he was like 40, how embarrassing"

"Asdfghjkl Norwegian letters and an American trying to say 'vi er desperate' I'm sobbing, oh my god"

"On the door it says "forræder" which means Traitor."

"So the kids died, and it's a curse, god left the land etc etc... wtf wtf someone is knocking on a wall or window in the game"

"I'm reading old Norwegian, game, stop"

"Oh, house creaking, not knocking "

"Just walk inside the houses? Maybe they're hiding behind the doors"

"Out to explore!"

"I'm completely lost in the game, half thoughts"

"Its so interesting, and fun to hear someone try to read Norwegian is always funny"

"I'm scared of draugen tho... like I wanna go 'haha mythical being lmao'... but the kids are gone, killed... draugs steal kids... I'm just saying I might cry if I see it"

"Alright, I've done loads since I wrote so let's do a summary:

The child, Ruth, died, they think her cousin did it. The cousin left shortly after the kid died- the official story is she fell and cracked her skull open on some rocks.

Edward is OBSESSED with his sister, one random noise and hes like 'Betty???'

Ruth apparently went exploring in the mine, found treasure, Edward read about Draugen in a book, it's a man thing without a face, visit u in your dreams, and if u wake you're lucky, but someone near u will die.

Everyone is gone, a man was found, he hung himself.

Twin brothers were very angry, and now the church bells are ringing. And I'm running to it"

"So googled and draugen is a dude who's thirsty for women and children, the one I was picturing Nøkken, and that's a swamp woman so"

"Lissie was a personality thing, not real, then a weeping angel suddenly appeared??? And then they disappeared... Betty was apparently on her way to the mine, hes now around the mine.

He also found Anna, the mom to Ruth, and the dad went to his brother and now I'm in the mine."

"BUT my sister is back and I cant spoil the game soo"

[the-acid-pear]

I hit post limit but I'm watching James and the Giant Peach anyway so what about we do it in the style of my Baki liveblogs?

Oh yeah baby this format is coming back. No pics will be taken which makes me sad! But alas...

I think it's worth mentioning i haven't watched this movie since i was a kid so i don't remember anything other than it having a nice vibe

THIS KID IS MADE OUT OF FLESH AND THESE PPL ARE BRITISH. WHADDAHELL...

I was joking w Blood about the family dying after the boat crashes but um. I guess the rhyno won? Whatever THAT means...

I want these aunts to sandwich me they could make me worse

JWDGWKDVJWDV THE FUCKING WARREN WASTELAND 💀💀💀 that's how england looks to me 😍/j

FUCK YEAH FEET REVEAL THESE WOMEN WERE MADE FOR ME‼️

OH IT WAS A REAL RHYNO? 💀

THEY ARE GONNA COOK HIM

The kid is singing. Anyway, that spider def poisonous 💀

This kiddo is depressing bruh

Sings like shit tho ngl

James doesn't know what a poisonous spider looks like but he sure knows how to make a perfect paper balloon first try 💀

Second degree murder 😁👍

THAT DUDE SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME LMAO

SIR YOU ARE A CERTIFIED FREAK

BLINK MOTHERFUCKER

Man is scaring me more than he's scaring James but that's only bc unlike this weird isolated British orphan i was taught about stranger danger

I think James is just having a psychotic breakdown because of all the physical and psychological abuse he has been thru /j

LMAO THIS KID IS A FAILURE

Spiker you are like 180 cm you could get it yourself 😐

The way this peach came to be is both hilarious and cute this tree is winning rn

This movie has extremely funny dialogue i love Spiker sm

THE FAKE ASS TEAR 😭😭😭

Pretty based of them to make the priest pay double NGL

The rhyno threats are fucked up but so goofy bc. It's a fucking rhyno 💀

Maybe they mean the guy from spiderman tho, i mean, they WERE going to New York after all...

Damn i cracked the code

Strong ass kid ate the worm 😨

HEY I REMEMBER THAT MANY HANDED BASTARD I HAD A CRUSH ON HIM OMFG... This feels like seeing an old ex 💀

God i adore these bugs sm they are so shape

This spider is so hot, even hotter than i remembered

KQGWKVDNSGER THIS GUY IS SUCH A JERK I LOVE HIM

Rhinnoceri... I need to fuck this cricket <- guy so horny he forgot the word

THE LADY BUG IS A MILF

Isn't it kinda... Racist, to call another bug a maggot?

This music goes hard

What about da worm........? 🥺

That worm is prob like would u still love me if i was a human?

"now i have two half brothers" 💀💀💀

Didn't realize the bugs were huge. Even MORE culeables!

Omg milves DIED

Nvm girlboss powah

Damn they're actually bleeding tho

THEY ARE IN DA SEA, THAT WORM IS GONNA DIE

Omg he wears glasses cuz he's a worm therefore blind that's so cute

The spider hates this centipede sm 💀

LTDJEHSDJ I'M SURE THEY DO CENTIPEDE

This movie is just a bunch of European immigrants falling for the American dream

EVERYONE HATES THIS CENTIPEDE SM LMAO

This is abuse of the disabled

KSHDJDJZHZKGXG WORM ILY

Sick ass shark ngl

Do you think earthworm and centipede ever explored each other's bodies?

This is animal abuse

Oh he's from Brooklyn that's cute 🥺

AT THE SPENCE OF HIS LIFE, JAMES. STOP TRYING TO DOWNPLAY HIS TRAUMA!!

Maybe they do have a point tho

THE CRICKET IS A GILF⁉️ :Y

Worm deadass said 🥵

I thought they knew but were carnivorous what a bunch of fucking idiots. Bet they are doing this only to make James feel better about himself...

Well Mr centipide that's bc you didn't taste this c-

Sorry.

These idiots are gonna eat da whole peach -_-

OH POODLES AS IN WATER NOT DOGS OK...

...OR MAYBE HE MEANT DOGS? ARE CRICKETS CARNIVOROUS???

These bitches r getting drunk 💀

We got peach'd

WORM IS FAT LMAO 🥺

Girlie they are all nice to you too, maybe tad bit obnoxious but not MEAN.

THIS KID IS THREATENING TO KILL HIMSELF 💀

This is one of the coolest dream scenes I've ever seen

I bet his parents are alive and just abandoned him /j

CRICKET JUST CALLED CENTIPIDE AND ASS

They made a fucking dick joke I'm. Gonna fucking die.

They are gonna fuckin kill my man

JAMES... BABY......

THE CRICKET GOING 😱 LMAO

CRICKET KICKED HIM IN THE FACE HOLY FUCK

Look i know he lied but these people have no fucking mercy... They are literally gonna make him and ME cry..... ...... ..

NO. THATS SO FUCKED UP THIS MOVIE IS SO FUCKED UP THIS MESSAGE IS SO FUCKED UP.

"he's commiting pesticide!" I'm gonna shit myself

LMAO HE ADMITTED IT WAS HIS FAULT good.

WORM BABY PLEASE WJDGJAVECEBF DONT SAY HELPED 💀💀💀💀💀

Ladybug just spanked spider, Kinky

Literally no hurry at all my man is just walking like it's an afternoon in the park

Lmao nice Jack cameo

They are gonna kill my man, again

HOLY FUCK THEY ARE ACTUALLY TRYING TO KILL HIM

"hey that one felt pretty good!" He gets it.

I love him for his American swag

KILLING HIM FR

OH THANK YOU LADY THANK YOU... 😭

MY KINGGFGGG ITXJFgsheaysrsudruddi 💥

Stop being homophobic worm let them kiss too

Aw worm got the hat kdjdthjf 🥺

SPIDER N LADYBUG ARE DOING LESBIANISM TOGETHER...

OMG HE'S A GRASSHOPPER NOT A CRICKET 😭😭

Too long of a name tho sticking to calling him cricket -_-

They are fucking

This grasshopper is fucking racist...

This movie is so lovely they are his family man... ;;

God Ms spider i think i hauve covid

This kid is definitely just dead on his yard hallucinating btw /j

THEY WON'T ALWAYS BE TOGETHER STOP B4 I CRY...

DA RHYNO NOOO......!!!!!!!!

ANYTHING BUT JERSEY WJCSJSFSHSF

I'M GONNA FUCKIN CRY Y'ALL

HIS FRIENDSSSSS 😭😭😭😭

This is so sad Alexa play Despacito

How did he lose the tie? 💀

EL LECHERO LMAO

Hang on, they weren't in England? They were in America? How did the aunts make it here in that beaten old car?

AH NVM THEY WENT THRU THE WATER LMAO

YEAH SAME JAMES NO SHIT

Before photoshop existed lol

THEY ARE GASLIGHTING THIS CHILD

HEY WHAT'S UP FREAKY OLD MAN!

Shut up James 💀

JAMES SNAPS!?

FUCK YEAH LITTLE BOY!!!

MURDER ATTEMPT 💀💀💀

Second degree murder 😁👍

OOOOHHHH?????

GQNWG KEGSJDVQNS YEAAAAHHHHHH LET'S FYCJING GOOOOO

SICK EM BOYS, RIGHT IN FROM OF THE CROWD 💀

PUBLIC EXECUTION LMAO

Wig

Those women are dying dudes ...

"god bless the colonies" glow-worm lady... 💀

"go ahead!" A hero of the people, communist icon

This movie is gonna make me happy cry look at my guys and James...

SICK ASS SEED

Best found family tale ever what a fucking win.

Well freaky little man you are kinda fine when not talking to little boys in the dark of night ngl

AJDVSNDVNDBR CENTIPIDE FOR PRESIDENT WOULD VOTE‼️

Oooojlhhlhndnbggvt WORM GETTING EM LADIES FUCK YEAH 🥴

God this is so pretty everyone is thriving and they are friends and it was all real and shit omfg 😭💞

The ending song is so good too... 🥺

OH POST CREDITS!!

Abuse revenge heaven 💀

WELL WASN'T THAT FUCKING LOVELY? MAYBE THE BRI ISH AINT SO BAD AFTER ALL... Time for some final thoughts! 😁💞

AAAAUAHGNGNMGBGMGNGNGH BROOOTHER WHEN I TELL YOU I LOVED THIS MOVIE... IT WAS SO FUCKING LOVELY.

I did not only love every single fucking character present here, but the designs and the music and the animation god, AND HELL THE HUMOR TOO!! Fucking caught me off guard more than once ngl, but it was great 💀💀

And of course, the thing i loved THE most is having a found family not be separated... :']]

I think this movie does a great job portraying abuse and trauma and PTSD in a very child friendly manner, the lessons it puts there are quite lovely tbh. I wish we could've seen more characters get developed tho!! The two who got the most relevancy and depth were grasshopper and centipide which tbh is ok bc i love them but a little lesson from all of the characters would've been nice too... 🥺

There's, however, a big elephant in the room that i gotta acknowledge, and that is the aunts. As y'all might have realized, my carnal desire for them surpasses my logical brain and makes me overlook the abuse they put James thru which quite honestly parallels my own real one.

I'm speaking w a British accent in my mind alright fucking cringe anyway, aside from the most obvious reason, that being my rampant lust and homosexual tendencies, i wish they hadn't tried to make the characters ugly = evil.

Like idk i think they were kinda bland! I couldn't take their villainous portrayal seriously when most of the time it was like "haha isn't it devious how ugly these old women are??" Like no i need them to ruin me.

I think I'm just a bit disoriented i think blood might not be coming to my head, y'all tell me if I'm making any sense...

Anyway, overall, is this movie good? OF THE BEST I'VE SEEN IN A WHILE if not for a bit of lost potential it would have been absolutely perfect!! And yesss, of course i recommend it!! It's such a fun time w such a rewarding end :'33 truly wonderful 🦗

[gh0stchoir]

Rich Daishou Headcannons

Anime: Haikyu!!

Character(s): Suguru Daishou

Pronouns used: he/him

Time set point: big boy adults

Warnings?: drinking

A/n: THIS ISNT PROOFREAD CUZ I WAS BORED AND WANTED TO WRITE ABT HIM- SO SORRY FOR ANY MISTAKES

⚠️FEMALE ALIGNED = DNI OR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED⚠️

Spoiling.

HES SO FUCKING SPOILING-

“Look dear! I got you that figurine you wanted!”

“DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THAT WAS-“

He gets a lot of scolding <3

He just wants to spend his money on you :(

He honestly thinks it shows he loves you so much

You ever want something? He’s immediately getting it for you.

This poor love struck idiots heart is about to bust because he sees how you aren’t into him for his money like other people were

You actually love him

He cries about it on occasion <3333

Lots of fancy dinner dates

He is also the fucking king at the best gift giving holidays.

“Kuroo’s birthday is coming up, Su. He’s been wanting this new weird science thingy”

“Mhm? Oh we can just get him a card and like 10 bucks. Anyways, about this dinner I planned!”

He’s such an idiot lmao

Only likes to splurge money on you and sometimes on himself

Him being a hopeless romantic, it means he does some really cute shit

Once took you out ice skating (omg back when I had wattpad, I wrote a oneshot of Daishou and reader going on an ice skating date- PLS)

And booked out the whole rink so it was just the two of you

Him being rich, allowed him to have skated in lessons (yes I hc that he took lessons growing up)

So, it was quite amusing to watch you fall on your ass multiple times

“Oi quit laughing! This isn’t funny!”

Que you, sitting on the ice with a slightly angry pouty face

“Come, let me show you my sweet boy.” (Ohmygod I love him sm)

Whenever you plan to hang out with friends, he loves to tag along. Simply to show you off but

If it’s like a shopping trip hang out thing, oh man.

Bitch spends so much money on you

“Oh shush. I’ve been wanting to buy this new game for kenma. Now go buy you something Suguru.”

He gets all grumpy because he sometimes feels selfish buying stuff for him

Kenma is just glad he gets something out of this stupid trip

Oh god holidays with Daishou-

IT DOESNT MATTER WHAT HOLIDAY- COULD BE FUCKIN HALLOWEEN OR SOME SHIT AND HE GETS YOU A GIFT-

He uses it as an excuse

You two probably live in an expensive house/apartment

So like everything in the house is nice and shit

Y’all have a huge tank full of beautiful colorful fish

He also got a snake for y’all<3

Doesn’t matter if you hate snakes or love them, he’ll make you hold it often

He also got you a dog for your birthday

It was a australian shepherd border collie mix (that’s my favorite dog<3)

That dog is living the best life-

OHMYGOD YALLS BACKYARD?????????

LOOKS LIKE THOSE RICH PEOPLES BACKYARDS

BRIGHT GREEN GRASS?? CHECK

BEAUTIFUL CLEAN POOL?? CHECK

Late night swims if you aren’t afraid of the dark or water, or both<3

Y’all have a big ass comfy bed

He let you pick out a lot of the furniture

You wanted a big comfy bed

He honestly agreed

He’s gone for awhile for work? You have a big snake stuffie you named after him and cuddle it

He comes home to you asleep, curled against the giant stuffie

His heart melts

OHMYGOD THIS MAN AND HIS FUCKIN EXPENSIVE WINE COLLECTION?????

HONESTLY HE JUST HAS EXPENSIVE ALCOHOL

He gets drunk once or twice a week, grinning lazily on his stool in the kitchen

“Kiss meeee babyyy”

“Not until you get your drunk ass in bed.”

In the morning he’s confused why he woke up in the bathtub

“Oh, you got drunk and when I told you to go to bed, you went to sleep in the bathtub.”

He was so embarrassed LMAO

Loves to go to professional volleyball games, and get good seats with you

He rambles a lot about the game, it’s so cute pls

Y’all when to game late at night?

On the way home, he’s rambling again about the game. When he asks a question and you don’t answer, he looks next to him to see you falling asleep

You had on his jacket OHMYGID

LMAO HHDUSJSHD

He just loves you so much, and wants you to have everything you want. And he’ll do anything to make sure you’re safe and happy<3

[lovelytarou]

kiss me thru the phone — bakugo katsuki

— katsuki always calls you on the phone, making sure that it's his voice you hear when you wake and the one you'll listen to as you fall asleep.

pairing: bakugo katsuki x reader

tags: established relationship, swearing? cuz this is bakugo hehe. not proofread!!

genre: fluff, kinda angst

word count: 1.4k

a/n: 1/7 of the 200 follower event, i can just see him doing this lmao. sorry if the header doesn't look good, i tried my best (˘･_･˘) not at me saying i'll upload this yesterday night but it's already 2am here. it is what it is.

bakugo katsuki is a busy man. 

even when he was in his UA days, you always see him training by himself and excusing himself early to go study and then eventually, sleep. his friends often tease him for being a grandpa and not having time to go and have fun, but when he met you that's when he really started to let himself free and experience fun things with his friends albeit he's masking it as having “no choice but to join” under the guise of watching over his friends as to not make themselves look like idiots, but you know better. you know that when he says he doesn't care, you understand the meaning that he actually does. and deeply too.

he's just a big tsundere who cares a lot for the people he loves. 

now that he's a pro hero working his way up to the top, hectic times and cancelled dates cannot be helped. he has to always excuse himself and apologize over and over for not going to the date you both planned as promised and you always have to say that it's alright, that you understand over and over. and if anyone knew bakugo, it's that he would never settle for less. a simple ‘okay’ isn't enough for him. 

so when you woke up one morning to the ringing of your phone and the rare photo of your lover smiling instead of your cacophonous alarm, you knew it had to be one of those days where bakugo was feeling particularly soft for you.

rolling over on his side of the bed, you answered the call with a smile on your face despite him not seeing it. the warm streaks of sunlight coming through the windows illuminated your face, making you shut your eyes for a moment.

“hi, baby.” you croaked, voice scratchy and raspy upon waking.

you heard his chuckle on the other end before he greeted you as well.

“good morning, sleepyhead. it's 10am already, you should be getting your ass out of bed,” he scolded you. you rolled your eyes as you lied on your back, staring up at the ceiling while you twirled a piece of your hair like a lovestruck schoolgirl talking to your crush. 

“i know, i know. but the bed's still warm and i wanna stay in bed for a bit.” you whined, even pouting for effect that you knew he wouldn't resist. 

you heard him click his tongue in annoyance at your statement. knowing him, he's probably shaking his head in disapproval at your lazy behavior. 

“get the fuck out of bed or else your breakfast will get cold. you don't want to eat cold food, do you?" 

“wait, you made me breakfast?” you felt your stomach do flips at the thought of bakugo waking up early and even having the time and effort to cook for you. 

you heard him scoff at that, “course i did. i know your dumbass will complain about how i didn't cook you anything before i left if i didn't. so eat up, okay? i know i'm not always at home to eat with you and this is the only thing i can do to make you feel that you're not alone. and i'm sorry about that. i promise one of these days, i'll take you out for dinner, alright?” 

he can only hear sniffles and soft sobs on the other end as you nodded. 

“oi, are you crying?!”

“yes! why the hell are you so sweet? and it's too early for me to be crying like this!” you wailed, tears streaming down your face like a waterfall, trying your best to wipe them away with your night shirt. 

“i'd like that very much. you're the best, katsuki. take care and good luck at work!” 

“i know i am, babe. take care as well, don't wait up for me tonight, i'll call you.” you both bid your goodbyes with words of love before he hung up to do his hero work and for you to get ready for the day. you ate your breakfast with a smile on your face and heart feeling much fuller than your stomach with the thought of katsuki.

some days, when he's away on a mission, he'd love to call you randomly and he wouldn't even care if you're doing something or if you're busy. what he knows is that he needs to hear your voice more than anything. 

on a particularly busy and dreadful day, bakugo had called you during work and you picked it up without second thoughts, worry already clouding your mind. 

“tsuki baby!” you greeted in a joyful tone. your smile evaporated when he didn't return the sentiment.

“katsuki? are you okay? what's up, baby?” you tried to make your voice as soothing as possible, knowing that any other unwelcoming approach might set him off.

he sighed on the other end, and you can only guess what happened.

“i'm fine...just...i missed your voice,” his own had a low timbre to it, sort of a deep vulnerable tone he only let you hear when he wanted you to see his true self without the facades and the mask. 

“i'm here now, katsuki. do you wanna talk?” being a pro hero can be stressful as much as he loves it. he's also human, and he can only handle as much when faced with a lot of obstacles in life.

“yeah, that'd be nice. tell me about your day, how are you?” he might be diverting the topic towards you instead but you indulged him in his request and started to tell him about your day – from the time you wake up to the time you arrived to work.

“oh! and um, i also bumped into my old friend a while ago. they asked me about you and i told them that we should meet up someday, you know, like a double date?” 

“sure, yeah. i'd love to meet them. they seem like a cool person.” 

“they are! anyway, what about you? anything happened in there on the mission?” you waited patiently for his response which he appreciated a whole lot than what you realize. 

“it was okay. the mission was going smoothly with everyone helping and then...i just, we rescued this man and his...wife got–” he faltered, you heard him choke a sob through the phone and you can only wish you can hold him right at that moment if you weren't only miles away from each other. 

“it's okay if you don't wanna continue, tsuki. i understand this is heavy for you. i'm sorry you have to suffer through that alone. i wish i can be there for you,” in your head, you're imagining that you're comforting him and kissing his worries away as he's nuzzling into your neck. and you'd tell him that everything will be alright and that you'll always be there for him.

“i'm sorry...thank you, for staying with me and being in my life. i wouldn't know what i'd do without you, honestly. maybe be the same asshole that i was before we met,” he joked, chuckling at the fond memory that felt like ages ago today. 

“no worries, babe. you know i'm always here if you want to talk. i'll listen and you can never talk my ear off because i love listening to you sexy voice.” you teased, knowing it would make him as red as a tomato. the both of you laughed and it felt like you're together, probably at home as you lounged in the living room without worrying about anything.

“whatever. i like hearing your voice too, i guess. anyway, i gotta go in a few minutes. i'm calling again later before you sleep, make sure you don't doze off on me!” you can practically imagine the smoke coming out of his ears as he yelled at his phone.

“yes, yes, i will. i already told you i'm sorry! go kick some villain ass in there, baby. i'll be waiting for you back home.” 

“good. goodbye, i miss you. stay safe and always lock your door and the windows! don't stay up too late or i'll swim there to make you sleep myself–”

before he went on a tangent about his usual scoldings you told him that you still had work to do and he can save them for later, but you felt warm inside knowing this is how he tells you he loves you without really saying them. time and distance may keep you away from each other, but your love can travel through great distances and defy all odds. 

Taglist: @chibishae34

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb part 6.1

🎶 Back on the bullshit I never got off🎶

Is this another unnecessary story arc?? With three sections??

Yes.

Wushanju Crew Chat

Wang Meng: You know, I’m someone who appreciates consistency in my day. My life is pleasant, very few issues indeed if you ignore the big ones. And yet. Yet here we are. With unresolved messes at the end of a day.

Wang Pangzi: SOMETHIN YOU NEED TO SAY MARY POPPINS

Wang Meng: We need to talk about Huo Daofu and the glittery bead curtain.

Wang Pangzi: MY FAVE TEEN WIZARD SERIES

Wu Xie: did you turn on that suggested word thingy lol

What glittery bead curtain

Wang Meng: I closed the shop at 6:00pm this evening on the dot. I locked all of the doors in and out of the shop very carefully, especially in light of recent events. The hall leading to the back office was empty. I filed the day’s paperwork, updated and sent emails, and then spent an extra hour organizing receipts and dusting. When I came back out, there were glittery iridescent bead curtains over the front entrance to the shop.

What could this mean?

Wu Xie: uh that you need to spend less time at work?

Wang Pangzi: LOOKS LIKE WE GOT ONE FOR THE DETECTIVES. THE MYSTERY OF THE BEDAZZLED THRESHOLD COMMENCES

Wu Xie: I think we can be relatively secure in thinking a glittery bead curtain isn’t a hostile threat

Wang Pangzi: SAYS YOU

I REMEMBER YE OLDE EXPLORATION TIMES HOW FAST THINGS GOT FURIOUS

BEANBAG CHAIRS SET AFLAME AND LEFT ON DOORSTEPS AS A WARNING

GLITTERBOMBS FOR DAYS

PANIC AT THE DISCO

Wang Meng: Ugh, forget it. I should have just taken them down, regardless of who they belong to.

Zhang Qiling: They are not mine.

Wang Pangzi: A BOLD STATEMENT COMING FROM OUR PRIME SUSPECT

SOMEONE QUICK GO DRAW CHALK AROUND THE DOORWAY TO MARK THE SCENE OF THE CRIME

Wang Meng: Do we know anyone who *would* sneak in and put those up? For whatever reason, legal or not? Even as a joke?

Wang Pangzi: ARE YOU SERIOUSLY ASKING WHETHER WE KNOW ANYONE WHO IS CHAOTIC, AN OUTLAW, A PRANKSTER AND/OR SNEAKS INTO PLACES

BECAUSE THAT WOULD MEAN OUR SUSPECT LIST IS LITERALLY EVERYONE WE KNOW EXCEPT FOR YOU.

Wu Xie: okay let’s think about this; for starters, I didn’t break into my own shop

Wang Meng: You would be in danger of doing some work in the process, that’s true.

Wang Pangzi: LOL

Wu Xie: ANYWAY let’s keep going. For example, Xiao Ge would only break in somewhere for a good reason. Xiao Ge, did you do this?

Zhang Qiling: No.

Wu Xie: okay who’s next

Wang Pangzi: YOU REALLY MISSED YOUR CALLING IN INTERROGATION TIANZHEN

REALLY PUT THE SCREWS TO HIM

IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE;)

Zhang Qiling: How can we be certain *you* didn’t do it?

Wang Meng: Admittedly that was my guess, too.

Wang Pangzi: WOW I SEE HOW IT IS

BLAME PANGZI AS USUAL

ANYWAY HOW DOES HUO DAOFU FIT INTO THIS

Wu Xie: Oh yeah him! Oops I got distracted

Wang Pangzi: UR ENTIRE HISTORY IN A NUTSHELL

Wu Xie: Ugh fuck off

Wang Meng what abt Huo Daofu??

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wu Xie: oh sorry xiaoge I didn’t realize you wouldn’t have spent much time around him last year

He and I go way back

Zhang Qiling: Way back where?

Babysitters Club Chat

Wang Pangzi: I CANNOT BELIEVE HE IS BUYING YOUR INNOCENT ACT

IF YOU EVER TURN TO EVIL WE ARE FUCKED

Zhang Qiling: ?

Wang Pangzi: YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHO HUO DAOFU IS

YOU WERE EXTREMELY POLITE AND BORDERLINE FRIENDLY TOWARDS HIM

Zhang Qiling: I wanted him to feel welcome. I wanted to be sure he understands he has a place here. A specific place.

Wang Pangzi: FOR A SILENT GUY YOU ARE A MASTER AT SUBTLE POWER PLAYS IM ALL TINGLY

LMAO THE IDEA OF WU XIE LEAVING YOU FOR HUO DAOFU IS HILARIOUS AND ALSO NOPE

Zhang Qiling: Rationally, I understand that.

Main Chat

Wang Meng: Huo Daofu is coming for the weekend—didn’t Wu Xie tell you? Wu Xie asked me to check in a week ahead so we could start getting ready for his arrival

Wu Xie: oh yeah I did do that

Wang Meng: Fortunately I know you and so I already went ahead and took care of everything.

Re: the trip

He made a deal with Wu Xie’s doctor that he would do periodic checkups on him here at Wushanju

Bc Wu Xie hates being in the hospital

And frankly the hospital hates him too

Wang Pangzi: FAMILIARITY BREEDS CONTEMPT LOL

I FORGOT HUO DAOFU WAS DOING THAT

A VERY CHIVALROUS GESTURE

WOULDNT YOU SAY

XIOAGE

Zhang Qiling: Is it safe for him to be here with a criminal loose on the premises?

Wu Xie: Right, back to the curtain! Let’s focus on the curtain, hmm?

Wang Pangzi: I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS WEEKEND.

ALSO WE CAN RULE OUT XIAO BAI FOR THE CURTAIN SHE JUST SENT A SELFIE FROM NORWAY COVERED IN GREEN SLIME WITH ZERO CONTEXT, UR PROTEGE INDEED

Wu Xie: okay but who else would do something so oddly charming yet illegal and—wait.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: hey, Glasses hasn’t been in touch lately right?

Li Cu: uh nope

Unless u count the outdated memes

Why, is money or Xie Yuchen missing

Or is this curtain related, I saw Wang Meng’s tweet

Wu Xie: haha no nothing to worry about really

(I mean maybe? but who knows)

Wang Meng is probably just getting a little paranoid in his old age

Li Cu: better than getting reckless and stupid as hell in ur old age

Wu Xie: …hey:(

Unknown Number: Li Cu, we discussed this.

Wu Xie: ????????

Li Cu: *sigh* fine, reckless and stupid as heck

Unknown Number: …close enough.

Wu Xie: EXCUSE who is that

Madame, Sir, Non-Binary Tree Spirit, etc—whomst the fuck

Are you

Li Cu is underage FYI

So Im staying on this chat

Li Cu: okay first of all, it’s not like that

Second of all I’m literally not underage I s2g

u threw the embarrassing surprise bday party, okay so u should remember

And C, that’s my counselor and I invited her. She wanted to meet u and I knew u wouldn’t agree to a visit so I added her to our chat

we have been discussing u

Wu Xie: Oh wow!!!!!!!

What a surprise:)

hi so nice to meet you:)

Main Chat:

Wu Xie: RED FUCKING ALERT

FUCK THE CURTAIN FUCK THE VISIT

IVE BEEN TRICKED INTO FAMILY THERAPY BY A SMUG TEENAGER WHO TEXTS UNKNOWN NUMBERS

Wang Meng: I assume that means something to someone here?

Not my problem? Good.

Wang Pangzi: AHAHAHA GOD I LOVE LI CU

HES LIKE ADORABLE KARMA FOR ALL THE SHIT YOUVE PUT ME THROUGH

IM RAISING HIS ALLOWANCE

Wu Xie: wait i give him an allowance

has he been collecting on two allowances??

Zhang Qiling: Three. I knew about both of yours.

Snake Eyes Chat

Wu Xie: so uh may I ask your name?

Unknown Number: you can call me Ms. Lee.

Now, if you’re comfortable talking in this format, why don’t you tell me how things have been going?

Wu Xie: oh everything is normal and fine and safe as usual, why do you ask:)

Li Cu: I heard about ur necklace thing. nice of you to NOT mention it.

another dangerous adventure. again. prick.

Ur lucky your cool boyfriend cares about you so much or you’d have already died like ten years ago

Wu Xie: lol try twenty years ago

Li Cu: That isn’t funny.

Unknown Number: …What?

Wu Xie: shit ur right, okay that was a bit glib, my apologies.

…I use humor as a coping mechanism?

Unknown Number: and Li Cu, how do you feel about that?

Li Cu: he doesn’t even know what that phrase means

He doesn’t cope, like ever

In fact

It’s kind of why we met

Which is a funny story in retrospect tbh

Wu Xie: haha what are you talking about sweetie hahaha need I remind you of certain anecdotes that could idk send me to jail maybe lmao

Unknown Number: …You know, perhaps an in-person meeting might be more effective?

Wu Xie: haha such a nice idea but why

Main Chat

Wu Xie: If I go to jail, I’ll have to create alliances for protection, right, that’s how it works on tv

Who do we know who spends time in jail

Other than Hei Yangjing, he’s only ever there for like 12 hours and i suspect he just gets himself arrested bc he enjoys the breaking out process

Also how’s the curtain case coming along

Zhang Qiling: Has someone threatened you?

Wu Xie: well not yet but soon I’m sure

Wang Pangzi: WHERE WAS THIS PARANOIA WHEN WE GOT TAKEN TO THE TEA HOUSE HUH

Snake Eyes Minus Your Fucking Therapist Chat

Li Cu: okay how tf did u pull off spy and undercover shit

u are sus as hell

Wu Xie: damn son is it pick on Wu Xie night

I missed the flyers or I would’ve invited my uncles

Also re: the curtain it’s been mostly solved

Li Cu: I’m not your son, idiot.

Wu Xie: …oh. Sorry, sorry, you’re right, bad choice of words, haha

Forget i said anything

Delete this chat even

Li Cu: shit I meant

Legally, biologically, I meant—

shit

…I turn into an asshole as a coping mechanism?

Wu Xie: oh that’s all okay! I have to go do something else now let me know if you need anything okay kid thanks!

Li Cu: goddamn it calm down who’s the kid here

lemme organize my thoughts so I can articulate my emotions fuckin healthily or w/e

Ugh maybe for like one afternoon we could go to Ms. Lee together? She knows how to word stuff

Wu Xie: uh…okay.

Li Cu: Anyway you don’t need to worry abt jail

As if you would survive prison for one day you’d piss off half the place in like an hour or less

I gave Ms. Lee the heavily edited version of the desert highway to hell roadtrip and i discussed it more in terms of like “nightmarish but still wouldn’t take any of it back”

Well maybe the sand

that shit was everywhere

Wu Xie: oh kiddo. It’s fine, really…You don’t have to explain yourself to me.

Li Cu: no, no it’s just

I do technically have a dad

who is an asshole. Being a son doesn’t really mean shit to me bc it sucked.

So you need to stop backing down just cuz ur guilty abt stuff. I’m really really glad ur not my dad in a good way. Do u get what I mean there

Where’s the mafia widower I followed into hell, huh

Wu Xie: Ur a good kid, despite my influence. I’m really glad you have someone to talk to after everything I…after everything. Wow this talking through feelings thing is kind of weird but nice ur right

Jfc no wonder it took me and xiaoge so long to—you know what, we won’t get into that

Li Cu: ew tmi

Also re: this week’s recent necklace fuckery

I moved my stuff here, I live here now

So you can’t die anymore

Or else…Idk I don’t have a threat planned

anyways abt the curtain

Wu Xie: oh my god, kid…kid you have no idea

I am in tears.

Li Cu: see this is why I can’t be nice to you I can sense the hallmark channel from here

Ugh don’t be sad in ur room that’s dumb

Go hug Pangzi or something

Maybe delete this chat

Or the curtain thing

Focus on the curtain thing

Just stfu and go away

Wu Xie: <3 screenshotting this <3

Li Cu: I take back everything I said. This is why Xiao Ge sleeps on the roof. I hope the ghosts of the Wangs put up that curtain to strangle you somehow. Go die in a stupid way, it’ll suit you.

Wu Xie: lol don’t worry I’m not gonna embarrass you with it or anything

Main Chat

Wu Xie: omg guys look how cute my kid is *sending screenshot*

Wang Pangzi: I MEAN

HE IS WISHING YOU DEATH

BUT SURE

CUTE I GUESS

Wu Xie: no but read the whole thing:):):)

Zhang Qiling: It is indeed very hard to remain angry with you. And you are welcome to join me on the roof.

Wang Pangzi: UH NOPE

NOT WHENI HAD TO BLEACH THE COUNTER IN THE KITCHEN

DONT TRAUMATIZE THE EARLY BIRDS THEYRE ALREADY FREAKED OUT BY U YA HOODIE CRYPTID

Wu Xie: ok true but babe ur like a sexy cryptid

Wang Meng: so, are we just accepting that there is a glittery curtain of unknown origin, and Huo Daofu is going to have to see it while he’s waiting for you at Wushanju bc you’re going to family therapy?

Wu Xie: right

Wang Pangzi: SHOULDA TAKEN EARLY RETIREMENT HUH

Wang Meng: I’m going to go dust something.

Unnamed Chat:

Unknown number: so the curtain…

Unknown number 2: yep, not my best work but I kinda panicked last minute u know

Unknown number: what is in the water at Wushanju that makes everyone dumb and attractive

Unknown number 2: relax they’ll figure it out

[obeiii-mee]

How will the bros react to MC self-doubting themselves? Like saying bad things about them or can't be serious someone give them compliment.

Supportive demon bois coming right up! Sorry I took so long to write this anon! Thank you so much for the ask! (Also, thank you all for the love on my previous posts!)

————————————

The Brothers with an MC who self doubts themselves:

Lucifer:

-As the embodiment of pride itself, Lucifer has an overwhelming amount of confidence, almost all the damn time

-So, he was flabbergasted to learn that you weren’t the same

-He always insisted that you aren’t anything but perfect, yet you always seemed to brush the compliments off with a shrug and an awkward smile

-Well, shit, we can’t have that

-Lucifer just got 10x more serious about the matter

-He pulls a really stupid concerned face whenever you insult yourself and he looks more and more like a 48 year old man/dad each time it happens

-He, as of late, increased the number of pet names he has for you and the amount of compliments he gives you each day

-He refuses to let you talk badly about yourself anywhere, at any point in time and encourages every little step you take towards bettering yourself like crazy

- Lucifer wants to prove to you that you are an absolute ray of sunshine and he will go to any lengths to do just that (do not ask)

-He’s even more affectionate than usual which confuses just about everyone in the House of Lamentation, yourself included

-His brothers are feeling a disturbance in the force and they don’t know how to feel about it

-You are possibly the best thing that’s happened to him since he fell as angel and Lucifer is ready to do whatever he can to help you realise that

Mammon:

-“You’re an idiot!”

-“*Sigh*, I know.”

-“Wha-Wait! Y-you can’t say thAT!”

-The Great Mammon is seriously worried about his human

-Being the dense motherfucker he is (i still love him tho) it took him weeks to realise you’re not all that confident in yourself

-At some point in your relationship, he jokingly called you annoying and you just went “Yeah I’ve been told. Sorry.”

-His jaw literally dropped and he almost cried

-He would have choked if he was drinking something

-Tsundere Mammon has gone bye bye and here comes the cuddling teddy bear that is your boyfriend

-He also doesn’t have as much self love for himself as he sometimes pretends to have so he’s kinda in the same boat

-Which means your boat is leaking and you’re perfectly fine with it while he’s panicking and trying to throw water overboard with his hands

-His brothers call him an idiot a lot but he’s a very sociable guy with people skills that he uses all the time in order to coax you out of your self pitiying shell

-Will whine every time you call yourself ‘useless’ or disagree with his compliments because what the hell, you’re literally the most gorgeous being ever let me love youuuu

-When it comes to you and your happiness, he ain’t fucking around. He will snarl at anyone that even looks at you in the wrong way

-Did that to Lucifer once, guess a what happened

-You’ve definitely helped him come to terms with the fact that he is loveable and not a good for nothing scum

-So now it’s your turn!

-Let him kiss your insecurities away please

-Your presence makes him feel wanted so he wants the same for you!

Levi:

-Well then

-It takes two to tango ya know?

-He is the KING of self loathing and no confidence whatsoever in anything he does so every time you put yourself down, he counters it with a self deprecating insult as well

-“I suck.”

-“Nah, you’re pretty awesome normie. I’m the shut in, disgusting otaku who can barely set foot outside his bedroom without having an anxiety attack.”

-It’s like you’re trying to outdo the other on who is worse

-Truth is, he really admires you, especially knowing you chose to date him; an anime nerd with no social life and no communication skills whatsoever

-It hurts a bit, every time he builds up the courage to actually compliment you and you not taking it seriously

-That’s because he recognises that he’s the same and just as harsh on himself as you are

-Levi knows self hatred is something that takes time to demolish

-But you are his Henry after all (also his partner but whatevs)

-He’s not gonna leave you hanging when you need him the most

-He also gradually stops calling you a normie as your relationship progresses, though it still slips through every now and again

-Basically, the first time he realised that you think negatively of yourself, his immediate reaction was: Haha lmao relatable

-But now, every time it happens, he gets all serious

-Puts his controller down and everything, it’s like witnessing a very rare phenomenon and it’s creepy as shit

-He’s also made an effort to be more physically affection though he is kinda shy about it because damn it he just wants to hug you every time you speak badly of yourself

-Probably writes a list at some point stating all the reasons why you are better than him and Ruri chan combined, it’s rlly sweet

Satan:

-He’s a bit curious as to where that mentality has come from

-What triggered you to be so self doubtful?

-He’s basically your psychotherapist and asks you a lot of questions trying to find different causes and solutions for your issues

-Honestly, he puts so much effort into trying to understand, reading books about it from the human realm and whatever he can find in order to help you

-He scrunches up his nose every time you call yourself an idiot or anything of the sort

-Satan knows that insisting you’re wonderful won’t exactly help you overcome this problem of yours

-But that doesn’t stop him from doing it

-It’s not like you can ignore his comments because he will keep complimenting you until you accept them

-He also repeats a lot of pick up lines but that’s just part of being his partner

-What do you mean you’re worthless?!! He would literally give away all of his books and his hatred for Lucifer in exchange for your well being!

-Satan is possibly the smartest out of all of his brothers, so he uses a tactical approach on this one

-Direct affectionate gestures don’t work on you so he’s gonna be more subtle

-Would slightly hint that you are amazing every time you do something for him, like fetching him a book or something

-“Ah thank you. I don’t know what I would do without you love.”

-He’s a lot smoother than he gives himself credit for

-He just appreciates your existence and that there’s someone out there that he doesn’t need to be act hostile or fake toward

-Satan is ready to sit down and listen to you talk about your insecurities for hours on end

-You would quietly say something bad about yourself and he would run through the House of Lamentation before bursting into the room you are in, shouting ‘No! That’s wrong!’ (going Danganronpa on your asses)

-“Welp, I fucked up again. I can’t do anything right.”

-And then, in the distance you hear boss music starting

Asmo:

-*Shocked Gasp*

-How could you say such things about yourself???? Is that even leGAl?

-Of course, the literally prince of Lust, with all of his narcissism, has never experienced things like ‘self doubt’ of ‘bad self esteem’

-Pfft, the fuck is that?

-He only uses the most positive of words when he describes himself

-So obviously he almost falls off the bed when he hears you insulting yourself for the first time

-But ya know, that would leave bruises on his beautiful skin

-“Oh darling, you’re not annoying or a moron! You’re not anything like Mammon!”

-That was a below belt fatal hit, press f in the chat for the second eldest

-At some point, he just genuinely believes you’ve been spending too much time with Levi and that his negativity started rubbing off on you

-But then you tell him you’ve always been like this and he almost has a crisIS

-He’s like ‘Haha, no, we’re going to get a spa day out tomorrow and a few shopping sprees so I can prove to you that you are magnificent in every way imaginable.’

-Asmo loves pampering you in general but on the days he sees you feeling extra sorry for yourself, he goes above and beyond

-Gets very hurt when you brush off his compliments because he just wants you to accept the fact that you’re beautiful

-He’s like a supportive mom lmao, whenever you’re feeling self doubtful, he goes “You’re doing great sweetie, keep it up I’m really proud of you.”

-It’s up to you to decide whether that helps or not

-He’s such a sweetheart in reality, it’s hard to remember that he’s supposed to be horny all the time

-Well he is but that’s not the point, you’re way more important

-Asmo is so much fun to write cuz I can make him so dramatic it’s hilarious

Beel:

-Oh no :(

-He gets very sad everytime you self deprecate yourself

-You can’t do it with him in the room because he’s going to start crying and give you this kicked puppy stare, it will break your heart

-Beel kinda comes over and goes “If I give you some of my food will you please stop saying bad things about yourself? Because it’s not true.”

-Well you can’t say no to that face

-He feels like it’s his fault you’re this self doubtful even though you’ve tried to explain to him you’ve always been like this

-He goes crying to his twin half the time because he doesn’t know what to do

-“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to drop it! Fucking hell, I’m such a fucking klutz.”

-“Sniffle no you’re not.”

-He’s like, giving you large portions of his food now

-Because food makes him happy so he wants you to be happy too

-🙂

-His brothers go in shock every time because the only other person Beel has ever shared his food with before was Belphie

-Physical affection goes through the roof with this guy

-Bone crushing hugs btw

-Your self worth is so immeasurable with him, you can’t even measure it

-W h o a

-I’m being serious, don’t talk badly about yourself in front of him unless you want to be hugged into next week

-You are a literal angel in his eyes, of course he thinks highly of you

-He’s just hoping his presence isn’t making your self esteem worse, that’s the thing that keeps him up at night

-Idk why but he does think that he is a bad influence on your mental well being since he’s a demon

-Beel gives you compliments all the time and it confuses him when you laugh them off uncertainly because he wasn’t joking or lying??

-He’s always supportive of your choices and encourages you to be more confident

-The same way you show your support everytime you come to his games to cheer him on

-Overall, he just wants you to feel special and appreciated

-Because you deserve it

-IneedmyselfaBeel

Belphie:

-He feels like absolute shit

-Becuase he’s well aware he‘s called you a few...not so nice words in the past

-Back then, he only thought he meant everything he said but now that he’s hearing you accept his insults and actually repeating them yourself?

-It hurts his brain and he wants to smash his head against all four walls of the room for being such a cretin

-You do tell him it’s not exactly his fault you think so badly of yourself

-But he still believes he fueled it

-So now he needs to fix it

-He’s tried everything and I mean everything

-It’s kinda working, slow progress is made which he’s really happy about but you know, it’s gonna take a while

-He finally settles on physical affection as the best way to communicate his gratefulness for you being youself

-Oh, he wasn’t hugging you before? He is now, get your ass next to him and let him cuddle you

-Handholding has increased by 69% in the last month, sorry for the loss of your right hand with how much he squeezes it

-Sometimes, he can’t help but a throw an insult at you in a playful manner, because he’s an asshole

-But he always makes sure you understand that he was just joking

-He’s such a little shit, you would be having a chat with him and you would subtly drop a insult at yourself hoping he wouldn’t notice

-But then he stops dead in his tracks, kisses you, says “Shut up, you’re stunning” and then he goes right back to the previous conversation like nothing happened

-Accept his compliments damn it otherwise he will continue to bug you about it for the rest of the day

-He’s an eboy and he’s a dickhead a times, but he just goes soft for you tbh

-If you’re feeling really bad about yourself, he won’t even say anything

-He will just big spoon you for the next 24 hours, good luck going to the bathroom or any meals during that time

-Because once you’re in his grip, you’re not getting out that easily

-He gets so pissy if anyone says something even slightly negative about you to your face

-One time, a random demon called you stupid in one of the classes at RAD and he was like ‘bïtch excuse me what?’

-Snapped his head around at him and everything

-He would have done something worse but he was lazy and feeling really petty

-So Belphie kicked him in the privates from under his desk like a damn spoiled brat

-And then he turned his head back to you, all smiles and rainbows and puppies

-I’m simping so hard for a fictional character wtf

-I had to write more protective Belphie cuz I can’t find anything of the sort anymore and I need flUFF

(Haha, I don’t know what this post is, my writing has officially taken a shit lmao. Sorry this took so long to finish, I kept going back to edit all of them)

Al~

[shoutogepi]

“Fuck You!””I Just Might.”

Bakugou Katsuki

word count : 7.1k holy hecc

[ ✘ (nsfw!) ]

themes : nasty nasties hehe.. choking, angry sex, dom bakugou (what’s new lmao), lots of sexy vengeful teasing, & almost being caught (? idk what to call that haha)

bio : You and Ground Zero are far from getting along in almost every aspect… except for getting off perhaps.

author’s note : wow another smut whodathunkit !!! This isn’t super romantic (Happy VDay my sweets!!) but goddamn if u thirstin today drink tf up bc the SALOON IS OPEN AND HERE’S THE SPECIAL ON DA HOUSE

side note: (Y/H/N) = your hero name, also the sidekick is 100% out my ass not real bc I didn’t feel like doing legit research heheh. also, all characters are aged up to long past UA-grad in this (so everyone is 18+!!)

tagging: @lordexplosionsextra per request -- hope you enjoy bb :) happy vday!

also available on AO3 here

   ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

🄰rms crossed, chest puffing in defiance, your gaze shoots daggers into his stupid smirk. “I’m not your fucking sidekick, Boom-Boy, so you can crawl back into the putrid swamp you came from and take your damn paperwork with you!”

“H-hey now,” Bakugou’s sidekick laughs nervously, hands waving in front of him as he shakes off the jab you just took at him inadvertently.

Bakugou laces his gloved fingers over his lap and kicks back in his chair, straightening his legs so his boots rest on the table across from you. “Listen, Princess, you know the rules. Whoever gets the final blow doesn’t have to do the nitty-gritty shit,” he answers, shrugging nonchalantly.

“You only got the finisher in ‘cuz I was busy doing everything else! You pop in at the last second and get all the credit and no busywork? Fuck off,” you fume, hooking your foot around the leg of his chair and ripping it toward you. Bakugou’s eyes widen as he falls backwards, tumbling onto the hard floor. He grimaces at you from the floor, vermillion eyes ablaze.

“It’s not my fault you’re too stupid to strategize! Don’t start shit you can’t fucking finish yourself!” He barks, voice spiking with fury. Ouch, that one stung your pride a little.

“You’re such an asshole,” you snarl, shoving the stack of papers off the table. The pages swirl in the air and scatter onto the tiled floor, some landing on the instigator’s lap. Bakugou’s palms crackle as his breath is stolen at your audacity. Your sidekick lets out a startled noise, jumping at the sudden popping. Bakugou’s sidekick has his hand on his temple, attempting to rub out the headache forming at this mess.

Why did you two have to hate each other so much?

The two sidekicks stand stiffly against the wall as you shove by them, Bakugou glaring at your ass as your hips swing around the doorway, out of his sight.

It’s late, the purple sky littered with the lights of the lively city. The villain you— or Bakugou, you suppose— had taken down earlier had been the last job of the day and you’re tired of the stupid bullshit he always serves you when the two of you work together.

Usually your agency kept the two of you on opposite boundaries of the patrol area, but you had begrudgingly needed help with this last offender of the day. Your quirk didn’t do incredibly well against villains with close-combat styles, but you could still manage. Unfortunately, the guy that had been causing mayhem earlier was beyond powerful up close, and he had landed a hit that knocked the wind out of you and made you slower than usual. It wasn’t a major injury or anything, but you’d probably have a nasty bruise on your torso after you took off this goddamn gimp-suit of a costume. Luckily, you had visited the in-house, agency healer in the infirmary upon arrival from the job, and they had sucked the nasty welt off your skin and redirected it somewhere else as their quirk allowed. The pain subsided mostly, just a bit sore where the bruise would’ve been.

You close the door to your office gently, a heavy sigh releasing as you make your way toward the desk. It was almost quitting time, but you still had to finish up the paperwork from the other case you had dealt with this morning. Clicking on the desk lamp, you breathe in to calm your frayed nerves, eyes closing briefly as you try to find the energy to finish your work.

The door bursts open, slamming almost immediately and tearing you out of your attempt at meditation. Bakugou stands in there, steam practically billowing from his nose and scarlet eyes flashing with agitation.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” He snarls, prowling toward you with an accusatory, gloved finger raised.

“Excuse me?” You quip, irritation revitalized almost instantly. “Who do you think you are, storming into my office after the shit you pulled today?”

He stops in front of you, glowering down at you. You turn your face slightly, your eye level meeting his chest and not wanting to look at that. He was kind of muscular up close like this, you’d never noticed because you’d always created the most distance as possible between you two.

“Oh, you mean me saving your ass? Yeah, my bad, woman,” he growls, letting his gaze linger on the way your eyelashes kiss your cheek bones as you scoff, eyes closed in annoyance.

You glare at him, infuriated. “I didn’t need your fucking help! Did I ask you to come?”

He takes his time to reply, stare holding your attention briefly before he licks his lips. “No, but your sidekick did.”

The sentence is like a cold slap to the face, and you push him backwards with newfound anger. “Don’t fucking lie to me Bakugou,” you seethe, hands clenched into fists. “If you’re gonna lie at least come up with something believable!”

“Tch. She did call me, brat, and she begged me to come to your rescue like you were a goddamn damsel in distress,” he grunts, breaking eye contact with you as he hunches slightly, strong hands shoved into his pockets. Bristling at the refreshed anger rippling off of you, he already knows what you’re going to say. “She said that shitty villain got his hands on you, yeah right you had it under control.”

You don’t know what to say. You can’t really refute that the assailant had managed to hurt you, but you still wish Bakugou hadn’t heard that information. The asshole already thinks he’s the hottest shit in the agency, you really don’t want to give him any evidence of your weaknesses. So you sit on the edge of your desk, sighing once again. “I can handle one hit, dipshit,” you mutter. “It’s already healed anyway.”

“Yeah, yeah, you can take care of yourself,” he grumbles, gaze flickering to your grim expression before he looks intently at the picture on your wall.

The silence that ensues is uncomfortable. You had never really talked to Bakugou before-- usually every time the two of you were together you were having a shouting match, throwing insults back and forth relentlessly. You aren’t really sure how to reply, and you absolutely did not want to acknowledge that he had come to your rescue when you actually needed him.

Bakugou is as silent as you are. He wonders where you’d been hit momentarily, before pushing off the thought because god forbid he show emotions. He’d already had his fill of feelings for the day. He sure as hell would never tell a soul, but the second he had seen your sidekick’s name flash across his phone screen this evening, his stomach dropped like he’d been the one to receive the villain's punch, not you. Shoving away the intrusive thought, his trademark scowl surfaces to his face.

“You know, I still haven’t heard a ‘thank you’.”

His irritating voice slices through the tension in the room, and you bristle at his impudence. “Gee, Ground Zero,” he ruffles at his hero name, a frown bending his thin lips,” thanks so much for stealing my job and taking the credit for it too, and really— thank you so much for the paperwork as well. I’m just so grateful.”

“Tch. Don’t be so bitchy, you know I saved your ass today so just fess up and thank me already. You’ll feel better once you spit it out,” he provokes, thick arms crossing over his chest.

“Fuck you,” you hiss, scowling at his smug face. The snarl that breaks his lips is ignored as your eyes turn to slits directed toward him.

He laughs at your malicious look, mouth transforming into a sleazy grin. He can’t stop himself even though he’s a tad hesitant, but his bold and loud nature wins out and he says cooly, “I just might.”

You gape at him, the smile on his mouth escalating your agitation. “W-What?” You choke out meekly, palms pushing you off the desk to stand upright.

He has the gall to grin, taking a step toward you. His heavy boots clunk against the floor, and you move backwards only to bump into the desk again. You cast a futile glare at the desk, and when you look back at him, he’s looming over you. “I think it’s time we acknowledge this thing we have, (Y/H/N).”

Your lips part in surprise, the blush tainting your cheeks slightly. “I have no idea what you’re referring to,” you stammer. Your arms crossing over your chest, he can’t help but notice how your breasts squish upwards, cleavage visible through your skin-tight costume.

“I think you do,” he chuckles with a low voice, gaze regarding the pink pigment gracing your cheeks. He savors it, lips curling into a smirk. His hands meeting the edge of your desk as he leans in, his body brushes against your arms. You rear back, shock evident on your face with lips parted as he tips his head to the side. He cages you in, an unfamiliar look simmering in his crimson irises. “You can feel the tension between us too. I know it, Princess.”

You’re once again at a loss for words. What the hell is happening right now? You think, mind reeling desperately to change the subject. “I hate it when you call me that,” you spit out, looking up to catch his intense stare. It wasn’t dishonest, you hated his pet name for you. Just because you weren’t as careless as him, he’d tacked the snide nickname to you awhile back because he knew it pissed you off. “It’s a stupid name that only your idiot brain could come up with.”

Take the bait, please take the bait.

“The way you treat me like I’m beneath you, what else can I call you?” His breath fans against your cheek and you hate to admit it’s fresh and minty, not at all as nasty and troll-like as you’d convinced yourself it would be. “But I guess that’s ‘cuz you really wouldn’t mind having me under your lap, right?”

You gasp at his crude suggestion, knees smacking together as your thighs clench automatically. “Fuck off, Bakugou,” your voice trembles slightly, your palms hesitantly landing on his chest. Your attempt to push him is less than half-hearted, and he smiles at your crumbling resolve.

His fingers skim along the small of your back, perching his hand on your waist. You can feel its warmth through your costume and his glove, and your body bends into his hold on its own accord, your ass pushing back while your chest grazes his. He exhales harshly, his other hand docking on the top of your stiffened thigh, thumb falling into the curve between your legs. You wish it was higher up, and the recognition of your craving makes your blush a few shades darker.

“What was that?” He snickers, lips brushing your earlobe as his nose pushes away your cascading hair. He didn’t expect you to smell so good after a long day of fighting crime.

Your fingers grab onto his costume, clawing at the material and you’re not sure if it’s in anger or desire. But Bakugou is sure, his fingers rubbing your waist as he glances at your restless hold on his costume. “Oh, bite me,” you spit out, your bottom lip caught between your teeth.

His lips touch your jaw, and you can feel the sneer that rests so prominently there. “Manners, Princess… say please,” he chides, tongue poking out to trace the soft skin there.

A quiet moan escapes you and Bakugou groans loudly in response. He draws his face back to lock eyes with you, stare taught with the tension the two of you have built over all this time.

“You gonna tell me you’ve never thought about us fucking?” He inquires, eyes darting to your lips and returning to your gaze. “All those times we riled each other up, every time we pushed each other’s buttons over and over— you gonna say you never thought about getting me to shut the hell up by any means necessary?”

Your eyes roll in your head, from a combination of lust and disbelief. You cannot believe you're letting him hold you like butter in his hot hands, melting you and licking you up. You glare at him, his lips just close enough to distract you. You weren’t going to let him mould you like putty anymore. “I bet you wanna think that I have, Bakugou,” you whisper, and he looks at you with mild surprise adorning his handsome face. Your blush infects him immediately, a flush spreading over his own cheeks and he’s suddenly very glad his costume has a mask. “You think I haven’t noticed you checking me out every second of the day, Boom-Boy?”

He seems at a loss for words as your wrists wrap around the back of his neck, pulling his face down and level to yours. His brow bursts into a sweat as one of your hand curls around his costume’s throat piece, trailing south and following the delicious line between his pecs down his abs. Your fingernails scraping through his costume, his skin prickles as he gasps. Your lips meet his stubbled jaw, mirroring the action he had performed to you a moment ago. His fingers tighten their hold on you, his body jerking almost invisibly at the contact. “You ogle at me much more, little Miss Priss,” he says cockily even though his voice sounds forced.

It was your turn to curl your lips into a sultry smile, half-lidded eyes regarding his shocked, eager stare. “I thought I told you not to tell your phony lies, Bakugou,” your murmur against his jawline, hand curving around his pelvis and to drag down his outer thigh. “It’s a sin to lie, you know.” Your fingers skim the very ridge of the bulge in his pants, teasingly tracing the outline and watching him close his eyes, his grin seeming strained.

“You know a lot about sins, then?” he pants, sliding his hand down from your waist slowly, fingertips stretching eagerly to push into your plush ass.

You nip at his skin playfully, and he shudders in response. Your raise your head to meet his hungry gaze, your coy smile still beaming. “I might… You want me to demonstrate my knowledge?” Your tongue parts your lips, eyes falling to his slightly agape mouth. Your breath tangles, and his eyelids flutter shut as your lips graze.

The hand on your thigh grips your flesh tighter and you whimper, your mouth tingling at the harder contact of the kiss. His other hand slides south and cups your tailbone, calloused fingers bringing your ass toward him. The sudden movement surprises you, and you grab onto his neck, making his chin dip down as your hips slide into his crotch. You clash into him, your lips colliding as sparks fly through the air.

You both moan into each other’s mouths, the kiss desperate and hot. Your tongue pokes out to probe his bottom lip and he gladly receives your wet muscle with his own. Your legs trapped between his shuffle as you wiggle your hips, savoring his fiery hands gliding over your figure.

Bakugou’s hands are firm but warm, caressing your waist and hips and heating them up. He growls as your hips buck against his, rubbing the tent in his baggy pants. One of his hands slides along the smooth fabric of your hero suit, cupping the swell of your breast in his large palm as his thumb runs over your nipple. You throw your head back, and his lips gladly blaze the trail of your throat with a scorching urgency. Your fingers move to his arm pieces, clamoring at the top of the machinery near his elbows. He gladly slides the gadgets off, placing them in one of the chairs facing your desk while he rips off his black gloves. He hastily throws the neck piece onto the seat as well before he turns and captures your lips once more.

When his fingers return to your hips, you can feel the true heat of his burning palms through your bodysuit, making you arch into him wantonly. His tongue battles yours fiercely, both of you fighting for dominance as his hands glide up to your waist and fumble with your belt. You can feel his rigid muscles through his thin tank top, your hands wandering greedily underneath the right material to touch his smooth skin.

Bakugou smirks as your belt falls onto the desk, hands falling and grabbing onto your ass cheeks eagerly, pulling you closer to his body. You take the chance to shove your tongue into his mouth and he groans at the impact, jaw slackening as he allows your tongue to take control. He grinds into you slowly, making your thighs tremble with apprehension. His mouth detaches from yours, and the string of saliva connecting your tongues is sliced as his shirt flies through the air. You drink in the sight of his naked chest, muscles swelling and flexing, tapering down into a delicious V that disappears underneath his belt.

You grab the belt, yanking his body close to yours again and sighing as your lips meet once more. “You’re really man-handling me Princess,” he comments amusedly into your lips as your fingers grapple with his belt, toying with the latch.

“Shut the fuck up,” you snarl, teeth sinking into his bottom lip and harnessing a moan from him,” and touch me already, pussy.”

His vermillion gaze ignites, mouth crashing onto yours as his fingers slide underneath the swell of your ass. He lifts you like you’re but a paperweight, and you moan as your legs wrap around his hips. His tongue crushing yours, his kisses so intense that your head leans back at the sizzling force. You jump slightly as your ass meets the cushion of your desk chair, eyes opening to see he’d rounded the desk and knelt in front of you. His knees on the ground, he looks up at you haughtily, hands coasting slowly down your legs toward your center. “Is this where you want me?” he feigns innocence and you glare down at him. His thumb hooks the crotch of your leotard, and he shoves the material to the side roughly, making you gasp.

The cool office air greets your cunt, making it throb even more in arousal. “Bakugou,” you whine as he watches your face, shifting your hips in a feeble attempt to catch his attention. He slinks down, lips brushing over your panties softly as he watches you squirm. He grins against the black lace, thumb curling around the skinny part of the thong over your asshole, making you shiver.

“You’re right Princess,” he grumbles, tongue gliding over the wet spot that had leaked through the material, inhaling your scent pervertedly as he closes his eyes in triumph. Your bottom lip is prisoner to your teeth again as you watch his teasing movements, unable to tear your eyes away from him. “Sometimes when you’ve got me all riled up, I jerk off thinking about how good your bratty little ass would look bouncing on my dick.” You can’t help but whimper at his confession, rolling your hips against his mouth in desperation.

He smirks up at you, crimson irises glittering with savory mischief. His hands snake around your thighs, clutching onto the junction they meet your hips with vigor. He pushes your body down into the seat so you can’t wriggle any longer, and he feels your cunt clench against his chin when he nips at your panties, teeth dragging along your clit. You wail his name again lowly, harsh breaths ripping through your lungs.

He growls in response, thumb ripping the lace to the side and exhaling at the sight of your swollen cunt, grin broadening at the excessive glaze that he had caused. “Fuck,” he laments, tongue poking out to graze your clit experimentally. Satisfied with the way your hand flies to cover your mouth, he places a teasing kiss there. “You know,” he murmurs against your slick nerve,” More than once I’ve wondered how hot and sweet your cunt must be, hiding underneath this skimpy little leotard.”

You let out a shaky breath, eyebrows cinching as you glower down at him, meeting his pleased gaze. “Why don’t you find out for yourself then?” you hiss, baring your teeth at his infuriatingly proud smirk.

“Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you, Princess?” Bakugou’s tongue glides along the side of your slit, making you stiffen and shut your eyes tightly. Of course he’s a fucking tease.

A knock sounds at your door to pull you out of your collapsing mind, and you sit up straight, eyes wide as Bakugou’s sidekick peeks into the room.

Bakugou stills, unsure as to who it is, staying hidden behind your desk and still holding your hips harshly.

“Hey Y/N, have you seen Ground Zero possibly? He’s stormed off as usual and I can’t find him anywhere,” the sidekick says, blinking at you with unsuspecting eyes.

“Oh, H-Hikaru,” you gulp, hesitantly placing your hands on your desk. Bakugou is quiet underneath you but you’re preparing yourself for the little shit to pull something stupid.

And he does.

Bakugou’s tongue slips between your folds suddenly, licking a large stripe from the bottom to the top of your slit, sucking in your clit and rolling his tongue around it brazenly.

“Oh my god!” you yell, hand slapping over your mouth too late. Hikaru looks at you incredulously, regarding your pink cheeks and sweaty forehead. “I can’t believe him! W-what an asshole!” you pant as Bakugou sucks harder, your pussy clenching onto itself. “He probably left so you’d do the paper… mmm, paperwork for h-him.” You abs are flexed so hard, straining in order to restrain the mess of moans that Bakugou is summoning.

Hikaru finds your tone a bit peculiar, but he continues anyway. “Uh, probably… Are you okay Y/N? You look kind of… sick,” he comments, head tilting to the left. “Did you get that jab checked out yet? I can take you to the infirmary if you want. If it’s bad I can drop you off at your place, too.”

Bakugou doesn’t like that suggestion. He doesn’t need to lick his fingers, your drenched core welcomes the digits instantly. Your walls accommodate his middle and ring finger eagerly and he smirks as they sink into you, knuckle-deep.

“Yes!” you shriek, quickly shooting a glare down at the blonde, your hair covering your face from his sidekick. “I mean— yes, I had it checked out and I’m f-fine, thank you for the concern, Hikaru,” you explain, a forced smile on your lips as you silently beg him to leave.

Bakugou stretches his fingers inside you, scissoring them to coat them in your essence before he puts them together again. His wrist strained in the forced position, he flicks the digits back and forth, almost laughing in glee as he recognizes that soft velvety spot deep within you.

Hikaru blinks at you again before he nods half-heartedly. “Okay… Well if you need me, I’ll be in the conference room doing Bakugou’s job,” he laughs, tucking out of the door and closing it finally.

“He wishes he could do my job, fucker,” Bakugou grunts, mouth immediately returning to satiating your needy hole.

You sag into the chair, a quiet moan floating out of you as Bakugou continues to finger you, his lips slurping up your clit once more. Shooting a heated look at him, you bare your teeth at him, and choke out a hiss,” Fuck you!”

Bakugou only chuckles, savoring the way your cunt throbs around his digits. “I didn’t think you were so impatient, brat.” He doesn’t slow his actions though, knuckles ramming against your skin. He enjoys the way you gasp as he moves your thigh over his shoulder, his tidy fingernails pressing into your trembling leg. “You taste pretty good, Y/N. I guess it’s just your personality that’s bitter,” he remarks, smiling against your sex as his fingers slide out of you.

You toss him a pointed look as he wipes his chin with the back of his hand. “Excuse you, Boom-Boy,” you chide,” only my friends get to call me that!”

“Tch, I get to eat your pussy but I can’t call you by your name? You really know how to make a guy work for it,” he scoffs, sounding mock-hurt, and now menacing over you.

You frown in response but it quickly melts into a smirk. “Don’t worry, Katsuki,” you observe how he closes his eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching as his hand turns into a fist,” I’ll return the favor.” You tentatively place your hands on his belt, undoing the clasp and resting the heel of your palm against his clothed, hard cock. You gently undo the fastenings around his thick thighs, placing the belt with his grenades onto your desk cautiously. You weren’t trying to be blown up just for some dick.

He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of both his black pants and underwear, annoyed with you taking your sweet ass time. His bare cock springs free, greeting your hungry gaze with an inviting sheen of sticky precum trailing down his hard length. You gawk at the sight, genuinely surprised to find he was so… well equipped.

“So this is why you’re so cocky, huh?” you state, eyes following the protruding vein running the entirety of his full, flushed member.

He barks out a laugh which dies in his throat as you press a chaste kiss to his weeping pink tip. Your tongue flat against your bottom lip, you slide his cock into your mouth and moan at the salty, provocative taste of him. His length almost as thick as your throat itself, you gag gently as you take him whole into your mouth before quickly pulling back. You place your hand around the base of his now-slick cock, your mouth sucking and bobbing on the top half of him as you jerk your fist at the same tempo.

Bakugou is much louder than you expected him to be, and the way his erotic, serrated breath is tearing from his lungs makes your pussy clench in desire. His chest heaves, the bulging muscles on his torso tense underneath his surprisingly smooth skin. Your other hand wanders up his abs, enjoying the way the ridges between them are so defined. He growls as your finger rubs over his nipple, his hand catching your wrist in a tight grasp but not doing anything to stop the action.

You purr on his cock, slippery hand leaving the base to cup his balls, eliciting a hiss from him as he sucks air in between his gnashing teeth. Confidence torrenting through your veins at his reaction, your jaw drops as wide as you can muster, your mouth gliding further down his length.

Bakugou’s empty hand collects the hair falling around your face, holding it for you as you weave back and forth. His jaw falls slack as the head of his dick rubs the back of your throat, summoning a soft gag that makes your mouth vibrate around him. Your wrist hurts a little from his tight grasp, but the way his fingernails dig into your skin makes your core shiver in delight. “Shit, Y/N.”

You don’t bother to correct him this time, thumb running over his balls just hard enough to make him shake a bit, savoring the way he is panting and quaking before you. The hand grasping your hair nimbly shimmies closer to your skull, his fingers twisting almost too tightly onto the roots of your hair. You allow him to coax your mouth closer, his arm guiding your face to take his length deeply. A low growl tears from the bottom of his lungs as you lock eyes with his impassioned stare. His hips nudge smally against your lips, his tongue poking out to run over his lip as he pulls back and glides back inside your sweltering throat.

You moan forcefully, savoring the the strangled noise that slithers from his now gaping mouth. Taking initiative once more, you begin to jerk your neck back and forth quickly, wincing as his grip tightens on your wrist. Bakugou tries his best to repress his moans but the way your bratty throat welcomes his hard cock makes him see tiny, fizzling explosions when he closes his eyes.

His hips rear back, and you almost fall off the chair as you lean in to close the distance. He catches you easily, hot hands landing on your shoulders as his gaze locks with yours, inexplicable desire sizzling between the two of you. His hands fly down to collect your ass cheeks, and he picks you up just to place the apple of your cheeks on the desk behind him. Teetering on the edge of the wooden furniture, your legs wrap around his waist, and his lips slam onto yours again. His fingers frantically running over your super suit, he snarls in frustration when he can’t find the zipper.

You laugh at him mockingly, catching his eye as you pinch the zipper on the side of your neck, the material shrinking away immediately with elasticity. He watches as your breasts pop out of the silky, neoprene-like fabric, bouncing with hardened, pink nipples standing perkily to greet him.

“No bra?” He reprimands but his time sounds more turned on than accusatory. “Princess, you’re so naughty.” His hands fly to your tits, groping the soft and supple flesh with fervor. You unzip the rest of your side, pulling your arms out of the sleeves and carefully angling your hips so you can slide the suit off into a crumpled pile on the ground. In just your tiny little thong now, Bakugou closes the gap, pressing flush against your clothed center and grinding his wet cock against your damp underwear.

Your head tilts back and you whine, gasping as his mouth slides along your throat, hot tongue caressing the tender skin. “Please, Bakugou,” you wail, his thumbs rubbing your sensitive nipples hastily.

“God, you must be tight if you’re this high-strung,” he purrs next to your ear, enjoying the way your cunt clenches noticeably underneath your panties. Speaking of those… his fingers snatch the delicate lace to the side, his other hand grabbing his dick and running his swollen tip over your slit. He dips the head into your hole but recedes instantly, brushing it over your glistening trove before repeating the action. The teasing has your head spinning, harsh pants falling from you both and mingling in the thin divide between you. He can’t take it any longer, his hips snapping into yours as his dick easily disappears halfway into your steamy, aching cunt. “I fucking knew it,” he grunts, jaw clenching as your velvety walls embrace his girth, your cry of pleasure music to his ears. “Your cunt is so snug around my cock.”

His hips push into your thighs further, only stopping once he’s balls-deep, sunk completely in your flittering sex. Hand leaving your thong to the side of your cunt, he grabs your hip and pulls your ass close. You groan at his cock nestling even deeper into your sopping hole, and your hips jerk against his as his hand curls around your lower back, securing itself so his fingers coil snugly around your waist. You choke on a sob as he thrusts into you again, his thick member prodding you in a very private place.

“You better fuck me already,” you growl at his pace that was testing your nerves, ready to be fucked into submission. Not that you were going to go down without a fight.

He chuckles cockily, a sly grin on his lips. “Your wish is my command.” His hips slam against yours and your teeth sink into his shoulder, muffling a scream of desire. He ruts into you with ease, your arousal making it almost effortless for his cock to spread the tense walls of your desperate pussy. His free hand claps against the swell of your ass, the noise slicing through the air and you scowl at him. It’s like he wants to be caught.

Ragged breaths tumble from the both of you, your saliva trickling down his chest as your teeth are still fastened into his broad shoulder. “F-Fuck, Bakugou,” you keen, each time his pelvis pressing against you tightly forcing your vision to shake.

“Katsuki,” he huffs, his left hand pushing your chin up to capture your half-lidded gaze. “Say it, Princess— fuck, tell me who’s making you feel so good,” he demands, eager to hear his name leave your lips in such an intimate way once more. His hips change tempo from his fast and hard pace to a slower, more sensual rolling motion, milking the desired reaction out of you.

The novel movement pressing deliciously against your clit, your unabashed whimpers fall onto his eager ears.  Your fingers raise to pinch the top of his black eye mask, pushing the material up over his forehead so it tucks his ash blonde hair back. Looking into his eyes and admiring his uncovered, handsome features, you shoot him a sinful pout. “Ka— ah! Oh, Katsuki,” you gasp, your hands flying up to claw desperately at his muscular back.

Bakugou relishes in your lewd reply, eyes rolling back into his skull in delight. He lets out a gravely groan, increasing the tempo to a needy, impatient pace. The extra stimulation on your clit makes your legs shiver around him, your heels digging into the plush top of his ass. His hand slides back to grip around the back of your neck, leaning in to take the side of your ear between his teeth. His fingers on your throat press into your skin, his thumb pushed into your racing pulse. Hand squeezing just the right amount, it becomes pleasurably harder to breathe and you pant, tongue poking out as you wanton gaze meets his. “I’m gonna make you cum so hard Y/N,” he growls, almost snarling at you as your body bounces against his, watching your hair dance and shake around the erotic expression on your face.

“Eat shit,” your nose twitches in annoyance,” You’re gonna burst any minute now.” Your cheeks are dusted in a telling flush, your body feeling heat spread throughout. His hand tightens on your throat and you moan, loving the way your breath tears slightly.

“You’ve been clenched down on me this whole time,” he reasons, lips close enough so you can feel his ragged breath. “You can’t deny how your body reacts to me, even if you don’t want it to.”

You roll your eyes. Even buried between your legs at a time like this, he insists on pushing your buttons. “Oh, you want me to clench, Katsuki?” you inquire, tone confident in contrast to the wanton shake of your body. 

He shivers as his name leaves your sinful lips, and the breath in his lungs is sucked out of him as you clamp your pussy as tight as you can around him. His hips stutter and you revel in the lustful way his face contorts, his eyes screwing shut temporarily.

When his vermillion eyes open again, his predatory gaze adding wood to the fire between your legs. “Bad girl,” he admonishes, an unruly grin lifting the corners of his mouth. His hips slam against yours, railing into you at an unimaginable speed and harshness. “That’s a cute try, Princess, but you’re gonna cum before me no matter what.”

You can’t even respond as he thrusts into you, your pants ripping through the air and mingling with the quick slapping noise echoing through the room. You hate to let him win but you can’t hold yourself off from your impending orgasm, the pressure in your core multiplying at an alarming rate as each thrust deliciously stimulates your deepest, most secret place.

“Katsuki,” you whimper, your spine arching into his touch while his hand keeps its hold on your throat. “I’m so close, please,” you beg, your toes curling forcefully as your eyes roll back.

Bakugou smiles at your submissive tone, purring out, “That’s better.” His hand leaving your throat to rub his finger on your clit, your body trembles in his hands. He leans into you and his lips conquer yours passionately, tongue darting in between your lips to caress with yours. His tongue pulls back as he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, his wolfish stare daring you to follow his ensuing command. “Cum for me, Y/N.”

Your body tenses as you reach your climax, but Bakugou continues to assault your g-spot mercilessly. Your arms shake in euphoria, nails pressing in to form desperate scratches on his skin. It feels like he is snapping you in two, and you absolutely love it. Tears prick the corner of your eyes as you wail out, relief washing over your limbs feeling like ice cold lemonade on a torrid summer day.

Pussy fluttering around his cock so deliciously, Bakugou moans at the new intensity. He swears as he keeps going, despite his own orgasm approaching. The image of you squirming in ecstasy underneath him makes him gasp immodestly. His hands clasp down on your hips roughly, making it even easier for him to pound into your soaked cunt as his teeth release your reddened lip. “Fuck, you’re so fucking tight,” he huffs, sweat glistening on his built chest as he thrusts into you particularly hard. “So much better than I could’ve ever imagined, holy shit, Princess.” He moans a little loudly, not holding anything back anymore. He is so fucking close.

“Katsuki, please,” you sob, your g-spot still being pummeled relentlessly, never getting a break from his assault and dragging your orgasm out longer than you thought possible. “I want your cum on me so bad!”

Bakugou throws his chin into the air, harsh breaths floating out as the flesh of your hips turns white under his oppressive grip. He grunts as he pulls out, his searing streaks of cum spurting out forcefully, shooting up to lace over your tits and down your stomach. His thighs tremble as he snarls, his first immediately jerking his cock as more of his cum gushes out of the tip. He gasps for breath, and he groans as your lips press to his captivatingly. He leans into your kiss, savoring the feeling of your sweet lips against his.

You shift in his hands, the once-rough palms now sliding over your skin carefully, fondling your body as his lips nibble at your own. You entertain it for a moment, nails trailing down his chest, thumbs rubbing into the ample muscles beneath his skin.

He pulls back, a lazy grin and satisfied eyes regarding you. “Well, that was hot,” he admits, eyebrow quirking upwards as he tries to even his choppy breath. You pull a handful of tissues out of the box on the corner of your desk, handing him a few which he gladly wipes over his drenched member. You sigh in content, head leaning back as you regulate your own breathing.

Bakugou makes you jump in surprise as he runs a new tissue along your torso, cleaning up his mess. You eye him playfully, secretly relishing in the way he is so considerate. He shuffles back a step like he can feel you appreciating his uncharacteristically caring actions, tugging up his underwear and tucking himself in with a smug grin on his lips.

“It was pretty good,” you say casually, sliding off the desk and pausing as your still-tingling core shifts, making you realize how tender you already are.

Bakugou rolls his eyes, handing you your costume from the floor. You snatch it out of his grasp condescendingly, glaring at him as you step into the leotard with quivering legs. “Pretty good?” he barks, eyeing your slow movements. “You’re still shaking, Princess.”

You shoot a glare at him, arms slipping into your costume and tucking your breasts away from his lingering eyes. “Fuck you.”

“You just did.” He replies smugly, and you ponder relieving the sudden urge you have to slap the look off his face.

“Whatever, Boom-Boy,” you quip, zipping up the side of your suit.

Bakugou chortles as he pulls on his shirt, fastening the loops around his thighs. “By the way,” he looks sideways at you with a smirk. “You came first, so I won.”

“You were, like, ten seconds behind me,” you scoff.

“After you, nonetheless,” he almost chirps, savoring in the irritation visibly building in you. He slips on his gloves, sliding his arms into his grenade-looking arm pieces. “Do I get a prize, Princess?”

You glance at his suggestive crimson eyes, pondering the idea of it. “You can choose the place next time,” you wink at him, clipping the belt on your waist with finality.

He seems pleased with the answer, his smirk widening as he steps closer to you. Your fingers pinch the bottom of his mask, dragging the material down to its correct location over his eyes. He shamelessly allows his gaze to rove over your body, recalling how tight and needy you’d been just minutes ago.

“Next time, I’m gonna make you beg,” he warns, opening the door and slipping through, seductive gaze locking with yours. “Can’t wait ‘til then, Y/H/N.”

And after that, working together became a whole lot easier.

   ─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

.

.

make sure to shoot me a comment/ask/reblog if you enjoyed ♥︎ I’d love to receive any feedback!!!

thank you so much for reading!! Happy Valentine’s Day sweethearts :)

➥ masterlist

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎. 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

[merlinssaggyyfronts]

BBC Merlin Rewatch:

01x01: The Dragon’s Call

—

FIRSTLY THE FUCKING DESCRIPTION LMAO “Merlin, a young country boy” COUNTRY BOY AHAHDHSNDH IF ONLY YOU KNEW!!! ITS LIKE SETTING SOMEONE UP FOR DISASTER BUT THEN AGAIN THEY WERE SO LIKE I MEAN-

aw look at merlin all happy and smily, walking into camelot like he isnt going to witness the death of his best friend/king and basically everyone he loves

LOOK AT HIM HES SO HAPPY!!! HE DOESNT KNOW YET

“like everyone, he must live and learn” yo shut ur bitchass up lizard man u literally tried to murder everyone in camelot that one time

“his name: traumatised 😍😍”

AH YES THE OPENING!!1!1!-!-! AHHH THE AMOUNT OF HAPPINESS I FEEL HEARING THE OPENING

fuck ur bitchass uther no one likes u

“i pride myself as a fair and just king” sir didnt u like basically kill ur wife... and thousands of peo- OH MY GOD MORGANA BB ILY

oh jesus okay hes dead um chile-

“when i came to this land” wait i thought he was raised kn camelot brb i forgot im an idiot wait,,, does this mean before this it was the du bois family on the throne of camelot?? also, mired in chaos? u mean like.... before ur wife died and everyone was living peacefully? ....okay

“merlin, seeing a person who's been stated had been studying magic get beheaded: [a magical being himself] ah,, welcoming.” -my gf

“since the great dragon was captured” ....so did no one think about where they put a dragon?? a captured one at that. ud think he’d be more smart but nah he just left a random ass dragon under his castle like THAT is going to end well

YUHH MARY COLLJNS HATE HIM!!! YELL BABEY YELL!!! “you took my son!” YES MURDER HIM OMG I CAN FEEL HER PAIN

“a son for a son!” omg why couldnt u have killed uther bb ur the perfect villain i love u ur literally just a loving mother i-

OOOOO GAIUS

.....why is there a bunny mask in there

why is thERE A BUNNY MASK-

why didnt merlins eyes glow when he dragged the bed to gaius to save him

also whats this slomo magic why didnt he do this after this why did season one haveso much magic and like every other season was just everyone throwing it back

like i get instinctual magic but like.... if its instinctual wouldnt it happen more especially when his powers get stronger-

gaius: what did you just do?!

also gaius, five seconds later: i know what it was!! i just wanted to know where you learned it

merlin: 😐

merlin, about his magic: i was born like this

gaius, who knows full well warlocks exist: impossible!

(are warlocks naturally born knowing how to use magic without learning? i mean if u have to learn magic like a sorcerer then whats the difference between a warlock and a sorcerer cuz wouldnt sorcerers atleast have to have some magic in them to actually cast spells? am i dumb or do i just not get it)

wait so merlin arrived in camelot on a wednesday

merlin, walking into camelot: it is wednesday my dudes

merlin: [witnesses an execution] aaaAAAAAA-

“someone that might help him find a purpose of his gifts” oh honey he’ll get something mUCH LARGER THAN THAT-

—

oH MORGANA

SHUT UR BITCHASS UTHER SHE WILL KILL YOU-

“the more brutal you are, the more enemies you’ll create” oh the waY SHE PREDICTED THEIR FUTURE OO

ah bless u lady helen/mary collins we love them spicy villains

...why do you have a dressing table in a tent

[watches mary collins murder lady helen] i never snitch on dadd- ...someone pls delete me

merlin, about his instinctual magic: i just do it!

gaius: ...lord have mercy what did i just sign myself up to

what ever happened to sir olwen did he die from accidentally overdosing

—

oHHH THERE HE IS THERE HE IS THERES MY BOY!!! MY LIL PRAT MAN!!!!

merlin looks so offended, oh god i could watch this whole scene for HOURS

oooOOOO YES MERLIN FUCK HIM UP!!! SHOW HIM WHOS BOSS

“do i know you?” “im merlin” “so i dont know you” ugh theres already sexual tension

“i would never have a friend who could be such an ass” “or i one so stupid”

also them, ten years later: “i use my magic for you arthur, only you” “just hold me” “i cant lose him! hes my friend!” “thank you..”

“tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees?” OOOOH THE BOYS ARE FLIRTING

NOT THE “would you like me to help you?” SIR YOU ARE FLIRTING SO INTENSELY AND DONT EVEN REALISE IT SIR DO YOU KNOW YOURE FALLING IN LOVE

im convinced atleast half the knights with arthur were like “ayo thas kinda sus bro 😳😳 ayo 😳😳”

arthur: tell me merlin, do you know how to walk on your knees? would you like me to help you?

merlin: ....i really dont know how to answer that

imagine being paid to throw fruits at colin morgan omg id be so thrilled

OOOH HERE COMES OUR QUEEN GWEN!!! MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING YES ILY

gwen: well, arthur looks like one of those, save the world kinda men... and you dont

merlin, 1500 years later, having failed his destiny: well i mean you’re not wrong

—

gaius: uther banned magic a long time ago

merlin, flabbergasted as if he wasnt raised on tales of the death of his kind every day in the kingdom right next to his: why?!?!?

gaius: the dragon is imprisoned where nobody can free him

merlin:

(that is the face of someone knowing full well hes going to free that dragon. look at him. he’s already made up his mind.)

—

[sees merlin and arthur in the marketplace] oh heres he is again heres the lil bitxh ooo theyre about to FIGHT

god hes flirting so hard without even realising it, oh my god

“i could take you apart with one blow” “i could take you apart with less” um sirs this is a mcdonalds drive thru 😃

arthur: ahah, you’re in trouble now~ 😏😏

i had to pause cuz wHAT THE HELL WHY DOES HE SOUND LIKE THAT-

—

....yall are yelling very loudly, um, arent there guards near yall? people passing by? please relax

“im just a nobody, and i always will be” OH IF ONLY YOU KNEWWW

“if i cant use magic, i might as well die” ....well, ive got a surprise for you-

“maybe theres someone with more magic than me?” like... a whole dragon? i mean if you say so 👀

merlin about why he was born like this: if you cant tell me, no one can!

a fucking dragon, basically every magical creature and the druids: WELL-

the camelot guards are so stupid how the hell is this kingdom still standing

how does kilgharrah know merlins name? in prophecy hes known as emrys (and we see basically every magical being call him emrys and not merlin,, i think). so how does he know? did he stretch his neck long enough that he could somehow hear merlin? is it cuz theyre kin? is it cuz merlin and gaius were yelling so loudly that kilgharrah could hear them all the way in his cave? ig we’ll never know 🖐

merlin: where are you?!

kilgharrah:

kilgharrah: without you, arthur will never succeed.

merlin: ....oh look, im already paranoid

the amount of sadness i feel hearing kilgharrah say “none of us can choose our destiny, merlin. and none of us can escape it” is INSANE cuz in season one you can SEE merlin trying to escape it. hes doing his damned best trying to have some control over his life. and then in later seasons you can see the light slowly drain from his eyes as he becomes just another toy for the gods to be entertained by. he realises he cant control a single thing about his life so he does the one thing he can: protect arthur. and he loses SO MUCH because of it! its not fair, he deserved so much, and when he finally got everything he could ever ask for, it was taken away from him by his own mistakes.

arthur, seeing morgana in a beautiful dress: god have mercy 😍

uther: .....um

the way they set arthur and morgana up as if they arent gonna make them siblings i- what the fawk 😄

person A, who knows arthurian lore: oh no! arthur is going to have an affair with morgan(a) and have mordred! oh no!!

person B, whos seen merlin: oh no in this show its worse

person B, knowing full well theyre siblings: much worse....

gwen: who’d wanna marry arthur? 🙄

-

gwen, getting crowned queen of camelot: well fuck

hhhnghnh yes queen sing them to sleep yes murder his bitchass (and fail but like its the thought that counts)

on a sidenote tho this is such a fun way to murder someone, id try this

the absolutely OFFENDED “FATHER!” and the horrified look in arthurs eyss when uther announced merlin would be his manservant is PRICELESS OMG

oh the way uther unintentionally plants the first seed of his sons love story omg 😍😍

Conclusion: this episode is a 10/10 greatest episode with so many iconic scenes omg. mary collins u will forever have my heart for unintentionally kickstarting merlin and arthurs relationship destiny. i loved the whole thing and oh GOD does it already hurt knowing full well how the show ends

[having-a-hyperfixate]

The Final Day’‘

This is absolutely going to be long and rambley af so I’mma just put a cut here. This is just one massive post for the entire rest of the game.

Rindo is back in the RG somehow. Which makes less than no sense. What was that crazy beam. Shibuya is GONE there isn’t an RG to send him back to, even if someone did want to send him back?

That beam reminded me of the Jesus beams not gonna lie.

But… Fret. Presumably Nagi and Beat too. They’re. Gone. Poor Rindo… That’s the worst kind of gaslighting. Reality itself is gaslighting this poor kid. ‘Your best friend in the world is gone, so gone that no one remembers him. You don’t even get to mourn properly because there is no one TO mourn.’  I am also not okay.

I assume this random talking to us at Hachiko is the dude I saw a brief glimpse of in a screenshot from the final trailer. Hazuki Mikagi, okay. Everything about this is supremely weird. 

Leading this weirdo around and he asked how we feel about emotions? Um, what?

Was he responsible for that beam of light?

This whole thing is extremely unsettling, I don’t think I like it. The music is all… serene, this guy keeps asking existential questions, who even comes up to some kid clearly having a bad day and demands a tour of the city.

He knows Rindo’s name even though we never told him. Not sure if that was a slip or an intentional nudge that Something is going on but there we go.

‘I should take this chance to apologize for Kubo. He’s a real piece of work.’ WHAT. YOU SEND HIM TO SHINJUKU?!?! IS THIS KID GOD!? WHAT!??!

‘Exorcised’. Like a demon. Which is a psychic rank you can get in the first game, and probably this game, ergo, a thing that exists in this universe.

Okay. So this Hazuki guy is Something Else. I dunno if he’s an Angel or higher or WHAT. He’s something. And he “exorcised” what Fuckwad had Fallen to when he decided not to stop at Shinjuku and continue on to Shibuya. But he only did this after Rindo faught so hard to stop it. And then he gave Rindo what he thought Rindo wanted. And now he’s here trying to understand why Rindo is miserable. Which to us, as humans, is obvious: the people he loved, the connections and family he had made through the game are all gone and worse, no one remembers they ever existed.

And now he’s being offered the chance to try again. This feels like a double edged sword. And I don’t care.

Okay I actually kind of appreciate the thing Hazuki is pulling here. He knows what it is that Rindo wants, I’m pretty sure he’s listening to his thoughts, actually, and in order to make Rindo own up to it he’s arguing the ‘no’ position. Giving Rindo someone to argue against so he can convince himself.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAPPEN AT UDAGAWA.

Bruh some of these clips were in the announcement trailer.

(I can’t wait to read the secret reports. That’s gonna be a wild ride.)

Oooooh that’s what ‘exorcised’ means. That is hardcore. He definitely deserved it but that is uh. Slightly inconvenient.

Can we actually contact Rhyme this time PLEASE. Oooh Rindo worked out Kaie is waiting for Rhyme. :O I’M FINALLY GONNA GET MY MASSIVE COUNTER OFFENSIVE FUCK YES. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I’M PUMPED LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!!

Who’s gonna protect them. Beat. Really. Just give them the damn pins at this point. They both know their ways around a fight and Kaie might need the backup. If we lose, we’re all toast regardless, and if we win everyone gets put back where they belong.

AAAAAAAAAAAH SHE’S HERE!!! RHYME!!!! Aw… She can’t see Neku and Shoka cuz they’re actually dead. That’s really depressing. Makes sense but like. Oof. Especially for Neku.

I love that Rhyme still has a saying for everything.

This timeline is going to be a mess by the time I get everything positioned correctly lmao

Beat’s ‘How do you know about my sister?! Right, future.’ is never going to NOT be funny. It’s very refreshing to have a time travel plot where people just listen when he tells them shit needs to happen.

Is it acutaly Shiki time ohh my god. I might cry. Please tell me she has a face now. If her face is still illegal I will actually scream.

I’m offended. We didn’t get to go see Shiki. The betrayal. OH but now we might be? Stop playing with me, game. GIVE. ME. SHIKI.

Rindo was freaking out that we weren’t gonna be able to get rid of all the Noise around the café and I definitely threw my hands up and yelled when I saw the word ‘zeptogram’. And I read it before he said it, cuz I read v. fast. Nice to see you again, idiot. Please don’t go berserk again.

I am. Very impressed that Minamimoto managed to work out where the Dissonance Noise are coming from, down to the exact energy source that creates them. He nailed it. Well done sir.

I think… he’s proposing we awaken the city and use the energy generated by the thoughts and emotions of the living people to neutralize some of the Dissonance Noise that are waiting in the pin. Erode some of its power.

“How about this: I’ll talk, you type.” Lmao.

I got denied Shiki again. Part of me is annoyed. The other part of me is like ‘are they saving her entrance for when she can see Neku again properly because I can live with that’.

OH the Hishima cutscene is voiced now OKAY. Guess that means this is the one. Rhyme is voiced too. This is gonna be it.

And she speaks Minamioto. Coo.

Huh. Neku’s power is to sync with people. Which he learned to do in the first game. From Mr H, with the harmonizer pin. (Twister is playing and I have Emotions help) And now he’s gonna do it on an absolutely MASSIVE scale. This is insane. I am 1,000% here for it. Sync, Dive, Remind. And if I had to guess, we’re doing this atop 104.

Alright Shiba. ‘Mere. Tsugumi’s eyes aren’t all freaky anymore yay. Oh snap. He’s gonna unleash the Plague Noise against the Dissonance ones. Nice. Turnabout is fair play. I’m kinda sad Fuckwad isn’t here to witness that.

Alright. Change. Our. Fate.

SHIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gave myself a headache ow.

“07734.” “Ew. Hey! Don’t just spout off numbers and walk away, you jerk!” That was amazing.

FUCK ME SIDEWAYS. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. NO. NO WAY. I DIDN’T THINK THERE WAS ANY WAY. OH. MY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. This is the first time Neku’s seen him since Joshua failed to stop Coco from killing him. I’m. A puddle. Help. Neku looked so happy. My cat is slightly concerned haha.

Neku still holds his hands like he’s got the headphones. The same pose as in the first game when you scan. This gives me all the feels.

“They’re just mindless thoughts” Okay so I’m mentally exhausted at this point and I processed that as ‘thots’ and it was hilarious. BEGONE THOTS.

Okay this thing right here? This is a final boss. And it is cool as fuck. Too bad it’s trying to END ME. So cool. SO. COOL. Here comes phase 2 lol. I died and had to redo it. FML.

That. Was awesome. A worthy successor to the epic final strike of the first game. 999% eh?

I continue to not like Shinjuku rules. Once you’re a Reaper, leaving means you get erased once the game ends? Disrespectfully, fuck that. Oh don’t you dare, Shoka. Don’t. You. Dare.

Oh, Joshua is here. PLEASE. Lmao Shoka’s reaction. I’m sure he appreciates that, the drama queen.

*facepalms* Joshua strikes again. I’ve missed you, you little shit. You are terrible, but I missed you. Rindo, I’m pretty sure she’s fine. I think captain helpful over here reincarnated her for you. Since you saved him and his city. I guess I’ll see though.

Uzuki and Kariya continue to be adorable. I love them. And yeah, good luck calling in that debt from Minamimoto, Coco. Gooooood luck.

I’m having a lot of Joshua centered emotions right now there is too much Joshua all at once help. “I should have known I could trust you.” You are killing me dude. You really, really should have. I’m going to turn that line over in my head for way too long, I just know it, but let’s try to get through this before my brain turns off completely. “Let’s not keep her waiting.” OKAY THANKS I’M GONNA CRY AGAIN.

What Hazuki was saying about ‘purifying’ as opposed to ‘destroying’ Shinjuku makes me think that restarting it in some form was always part of the plan, so hopefully they’ll have luck with that. It’s still profoundly fucked up that any of that happened, and even more so that it was sanctioned. I’m. Going to be hung up on that for a while once it sinks in.

This poor idiot hitting on Rhyme is about to get got oh no XD

Shiki is breaking my heart. Aaaaaaaah!!! Reunioooooon.

Ooof it’s been a month since Rindo saw Shoka. Big oof. Joshuaaaaaa.

And then they almost got hit by a car lmao. OMG HE MISSED HER FRIEND REQUESTS AHAHAHAHAH YOU GOOBER. Neku really should have warned them that Joshua is Like That lol. Even when he’s being helpful it’s in the must backhanded way possible.

I would very much like to know why on earth Shinjuku needed to be obliterated though. Like. Does that… Happen often? Maybe the secret reports say.

Speaking of, time to get those, along with the rest of the trophies.

!!!! The title screen updated, NICE. Can’t let anyone who hasn’t beaten it see that but NICE.

There’s another Another Day. Oh boy. I am not ready for that madness yet.

Random thought as I was moving this from word, where I typed it: I’m really, really fucking glad they didn’t decide to deal with Mr H the way they dealt with sleezy mcfuckwad. That would have been… I don’t have a word.

[prodigalsonfanblog]

Thoughts on Prodigal Son 1.12

Again, I’m in the UK, so I’ll be posting several hours late after each episode

My entire brain throughout this episode was like “Malcolm Bright you GODDAMN IDIOT” even after the plot twist

Malcolm caused a blackout in the precinct? What, did he try to kill himself? Cuz if so, that’s a really bad sign of how he’s dealing after his kidnapping

Gil helping Malcolm with his tie, I love it! That’s such a Dad thing to do 😊

It seems that Malcolm zapping the precinct is “The Incident”

“Inadequately processed trauma” is understating it somewhat

Man JT is just not pulling his punches with his statement, is he

“... and I say that as a friend” lmao nice addition JT 😂 seems he actually does like Malcolm

“Well, scathed. Moderately scathed.” Jfc Malcolm, yeah that makes it better

And how can we forget this gem: “If Bright was an actual state, he’d be Florida” 😂😂 I’m not even American and I know what that means

Omg Malcom’s face when Ilsa told him to go to bed, I’m dying

And then Dani trying desperately not to laugh when Jessica walks up (as I expected her to, this could only be her handiwork)

Jessica greeted Dani by “Detective Powell”, have they met already and I just didn’t notice? They act like they know each other. Maybe they met off-screen

Seems like Malcolm hasn’t told anyone that Martin tried to kill him, even his mother, which is probably wise, because she’d kill Martin for that if it was the last thing she did

I saw Malcolm’s ears prick up at the word “homicide”, Dani should know better by now than to say that where he can hear it

God I just love Edrisa, she’s always a ray of sunshine

Why isn’t administrative leave MANDATORY after a kidnapping like that??

Jesus christ he’s signing himself up for the cult

“I’ve never seen a score this high” 😂

Malcolm let the crazy cult guy shock him! For fuck’s sake, Malcolm!!

Why is the psychiatrist getting so angry? I mean he is a professional psychiatrist, I get why he’d object to the ECT, but this an overreaction

... is he involved in this case somehow?

I’m glad we got more of an explanation of Malcolm’s inner thinking of how he’s processed catching his father as a killer, but dude, you were 10 years old. It’s not your fault you didn’t catch him sooner. This guy really needs a therapist for adults

Why is he using a payphone? Doesn’t Malcolm have a cell phone?

Malcolm seems less upset about the psychiatrist proclaiming him unfit to work for the NYPD than I thought

I KNEW IT! The psychiatrist is the deprogrammer!

Even after all that, Malcolm still hasn’t told anyone about how Martin tried to kill him, it seems

Wondering how Eve fits into all this

Loved that last shot with Sunshine the parakeet!

[normal-thoughts-official]

Idea--Shadowhunter training might not go into sex further than 'have kids' but it's brutal and rigorous. So Alec is used to hiding noises, so much so that he's quiet during sex. Magnus of course, worries. Is he doing something wrong? Why hasn't Alec said anything to him? Is he not attracted to him and just trying to spare his feelings? They do talk about it... eventually. Maybe after a smackeral of angst.

jdjdjdndidndidndi i thought you meant that shadowhunters are specifically trained to hide their sex noises im so fucking stupid dudndidndidnk i swear to god that i can read

but that's.... an interesting idea actually. i tend to think that wasnt really how it went cuz i do get the impression that once Alec decided to have sex he really let it go and got into it, u know, plus i may or may not be a lil attached to my "Alec is great at dirty talk" headcanons lmao. on the other hand.... amgst

also i mean while i do think that once Alec decided to say fuck it he really said fuck it, and that tbh he had been repressing for so long that once he got what he wanted he was all but helpless to stop himself from diving right in, there are things that eventually become second nature. that u never even stop to think about. and that shock you when you realize they can be a different way. so yeah, i could see that too, this kind of "doesnt let go of soldier mode even in a completely different setting" thing. and if i were Magnus id legit cry idndjxmxixmdk like if my partner looked kinda neutral and disinterested?? not to mention noises are some of the best parts. #LetTopsMoan2020

also u can easily throw in that sweet trans magnus angst of course u kno, like "he seemed into it at first but then he saw my body and he just.... wasn't. maybe he's attracted to me because i pass but when he gets to see my full body thats too much for him. it's fine. it's happened before. maybe if i do better he won't mind it too much - it was just the first time, i just need to figure out what he likes" so he goes on this little disguised quest to figure out what turns Alec on, and it just leaves him more confused, because alec jumps on him as soon as he gets the chance but then it's just.... the same. silent, looking more focused than in pleasure, and it just made magnus feel more self conscious of his moans and screams u know. so eventually he starts to not get into it, because it just makes him more insecure anyway, and maybe he should just offer to use a glamor or something, because clearly his body turns Alec off so much nothing he does can help it-

and meanwhile Alec just. adores his body and loves every moment of having sex with him, loves eating him out, loves the way he moans. but also i mean there's the inevitable part where he's not fully letting himself enjoy it, because he's still holding back, still seeing it as some kind of exercise. tbh we all know alec's an overachiever and he's probably so focused on giving Magnus pleasure, on doing well, on performing that he doesn't allow himself to fully get into it. he enjoys it, of course he does, but he doesn't even know that theres so much more to it than the tiny part that he's allowing himself to feel

and the thing is, Magnus knows exactly what that's like, because for the longest time he saw sex as a service he did for others, too. theres obviously the Camille sexual abuse part, the way he felt like pleasuring her was what would earn him love, affection, even respect, make up for his other flaws, for his body. but also there's the post-camille stuff, the way he threw himself into sex as a coping mechanism, to feel more in control of his own body. but he never fully allowed himself to relax and get into it and would rather focus on his partner. because it felt too dangerous to let go. because he had a role to play, and something to prove. and that's exactly what he feels from Alec right now

so they're both a little tense and focusing way too much on the others' pleasure and communicating way too little and it's all pretty ironic, but Magnus doesn't realize that until the talk inevitably happens. and it's heartbreaking, because he eventually approaches Alec to ask him if he wants him to use a glamor, and Alec is all like what are you talking about i told you i love your eyes? and Magnus has to explain and Alec is like *jazz music stops*

because he really never stopped to think about it and he didn't notice and he didnt even know that he was doing it? and it's all kind of heartbreaking because Magnus tells him that he knows what it's like and recounts all of his previous sex problems and Alec is appalled. and Magnus even kind of admits that he had been trying to get Alec to enjoy it for so long and he didn't know what to do anymore- and Alec's like i think we've both been idiots

so they agree to redo it, only taking it slow this time. long sessions of kissing and making out and dry humping and exploring each other and themselves. and you know, Alec is pretty much only confident when it comes to direct, clear verbal communication, so he starts to be all like "love it when you moan like this," "you look so pretty when you spread your legs for me," and Magnus is helplessly turned on by it and it shows and Alec goes "oh, you like it, dont you?" delighted and surprised and that only gets Magnus more hot and thats when they find out that Alec loves to talk during sex, and Magnus loves to hear him :)

and from then on things sail smoothly djdndjxn and its an amazing experience for them both, to learn (and in magnus' case, relearn) to trust each other and their bodies, to enjoy themselves, to let go. it's amazing and they couldn't be happier to do it with each other :)

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Just finished watching Sex Education on netflix, actually binged it all in one day cuz it was really good, just a few thoughts and misc. ramblings (mostly spoiler free I think?):

It’s a really good show for nuanced characters. Like, if you want unproblematic cinnamon rolls to latch onto this defo isn’t your show, even the sweetest characters have their flaws but I love that. The kids and the parents alike- the protag had me going from ‘you’re the sweetest and I’ll defend you to the death’ to ‘wow you fucking idiot shut up’ like, SO many times. I love him though. What a disaster.

Gillian Anderson?? Makin me gayer

Fuckin s/o to Asa Butterfield for doing all those wanking faces for head-on close ups, braver than any US marine

I love all the characters but I do think it struggled a bit to keep the momentum with the side characters in the middle of the series. Like, Adam had a big role in the first couple of eps, made himself pretty fucking unappealing, and didn’t have that much of a chance to really grow before he became quite important again in the last ep. I do feel for him (nuanced characters, y’all), but didn’t get enough chance to really love him and so I’ve got some mixed feelings about his final episode plot.

Otis and Eric’s friendship???? Pure. I mean, I kinda wish they’d addressed the fall out more- even though Eric had been being kinda jealous for a while I absolutely think Otis should not have put him in the situation he wound up in (oh yeah TW for a brief homophobic assault in ep5, everyone’s fine but Eric gets a bruised cheek and a scare my poor darling) and he did apologise but I just kinda wish he’d confronted it more. I want it to be more kind of, there that Otis has quite a lot of privilege in being straight(as far as we know) and white and the same thing probs wouldn’t have happened to him if he’d been the one walking home alone at night. That being said, I literally do love them so much, their reunion was sweet af, Eric looked fabulous and with the exception of the unfortunate blip Otis is honestly such a sweet and caring ally bestie (yearly traditional dressing in drag with your gay friend to see their fave movie and dancing with them at prom is just..... y e s)

A multishipper’s dream I ship fuckin everyone with everyone

If they get a season two I really hope they address asexuality. There’s a couple of characters I could easily place on that spectrum but nothing’s been confirmed and I think an often underrepresented part of sex positivity is that some people don’t have it and don’t want to/don’t feel that sort of attraction, and that’s fine. They address it in different ways because it’s all about like taboos and misconceptions and anxieties, but some canon ace rep would be fucking sweet. (On that note come talk to me about ace headcanons plz)

I feel very Seen by the inclusion of Lily the monster-fucker artist. Called out. Fuckin love the friendship forming with her and Otis now though- and her ‘date’ with Eric was the cutest. And I want to know where she got her pink dungarees and basically every other outfit she wears.

Aimee is adorable and so are her lil bunny teeth

Yeah probs goes without saying but don’t watch this if you’re majorly squicked by sex scenes/sex talk. If you can stomach that stuff though it’s a really good and honest portrayal of it- problems people have, insecurities, how it ties into relationships, how traumatic experiences and lifestyle can impact it, it’s good.

Fairly decent on the queer and PoC rep- they’re not always the pivotal characters but they’re very much there and just as real as the Straights

I ship Maeve with happiness and success okay

I’ve probs got more thoughts but I’m tired and running out of them so I’ll leave it at that for now lmao- but yeah, would recommend <3

EDIT: ALSO THE SOUNDTRACK IS GREAT IT'S FULL OF EZRA FURMAN AND IT'S WONDERFUL

[thefudge]

scattered thoughts on sanditon so far 

this is a fun romp from andrew davies and there’s a lot to like and be invested in

but i do have some observations/ gripes

obviously davies is going for a modern/sexed up adaptation of austen and i have mixed thoughts on that, cuz there’s a lot of interesting stuff you can do with that, but you can also botch it up big time (i’m glad he didn’t do this to p&p back in 1995...i wonder what that adaptation would’ve looked like today. probably full monty darcy, lol). so i think some elements verge on the ridiculous, for instance having almost every dude in this show strip naked in front of a crowded beach several times in a row. ditto for theo james. i don’t mind the view (hehe) but i think it’s inserted awkwardly at times. like okay, we get it, it’s a beach resort and we’re trying to make austen edgy in 2019.... just maybe indulge a little less and literally keep it in your pants. 

this being a more modern adaptation i don’t mind hair and make-up anachronisms, but i DO mind the fact that rose williams sports this really weird shade of fuchsia lipstick in almost every single scene. stop iiiit

speaking of which, rose williams is a cutie and i loved her on reign, but i don’t understand what she’s doing with her face in this series. don’t get me wrong, she does a good job of making charlotte very likable, but the only way she can express...anything, really, is by making these confused faces, like a child practicing frowning in the mirror. it’s...really awkward. and she does this all the time, whether she’s happy or sulky or nervous, she just always looks like she’s trying to figure out the fibonacci sequence.  i mean it’s hilarious when u have theo james going all gruff to her about his feelings and rose williams is that gif of the blond lady doing math in her head. her acting is pretty good otherwise, but those faceeeees.

esther denham is my goddamn FAVE, gosh i love a Disappointed Queen and i’m glad she’s getting away from that boring skeevy brother. for once the incestuous siblings didn’t do it for me at all (which is pretty much the point lol). there’s nary a dude more uninteresting than edward whatshisface, my gaaaawd (also, davies trying to ramp up the sexiness with those scenes of edward brushing her hair or doing her stays...lol, sir, this rly isn’t your strength i’m sorry)

but i have to say that i thought esther and clara would be a thing. because my gosh, the chemistry during their scenes! the way they’d glide past each other with utmost contempt, while being disquieted by each other @___@. i mean it’s an austen adaptation, so i guess they’d never go there but!!! i need fic (would’ve made clara more bearable at least. i appreciate her character objectively cuz she’s an interesting pseudo-antagonist and you don’t get many of those, but blerghh. she was insufferable)

i was kinda (actually very) disappointed that the relationship between sidney and his ward, georgiana, wasn’t really developed. like there’s one more episode to go (as far as i know?) and they’ve barely scratched the surface with them. i mean he’s halfway decent to her now.... but ehh. i feel like this was a missed opportunity. after all, this was austen’s unfinished novel, so andrew davies & co could have added more material between these two. this, to me, should have been the real heart of the series. 

i like otis as a character, but georgiana/otis was zzzzzz. i suppose that they’ll end up together? zzzzzzzzzz (i frankly ship her way more with arthur! she finds him infuriating! he’s a sweetheart! the shenanigans!)

that German doctor is the real MVP, i feel like he should be sanditon’s no. 1 bachelor. i mean the shower rod??? providing pleasure to all the ladies in town, what a hero 

the soundtrack is rly rad! and the cinematography

i love how the show captures austen’s growing interest in the industrialized modern world which was emerging in the twilight years of the regency and i feel like maybe the show should’ve invested more time in that modern aesthetic (steampunk!) rather the awkward sexual shenanigans 

so....i can’t delay the inevitable anymore, can i? sigghh okay here i go

sidney/charlotte...annoys me. 

HEAR ME OUT.

 u know that i love LOVE “enemies to lovers” and hate/love stories, i LIVE FOR THIS SHIT. 

and i was ready to gorge on this dynamic because it looked delish 

 but i felt like michael bluth finding the dead pigeon in the paper bag. 

from what i can gather, sidney is supposed to be a mixture of darcy and capt wentworth, “haughty” and proud, with a history of romantic disappointment, a brooding sexy hero with a heart of gold. but to me this dude just comes off as weird. 

there’s legit no reason for him to be THIS mean to this young girl he just met. he is not just an asshole, he is ridiculously over the top about it, to the point where he makes a fool of himself. i am FINE with a man telling a woman off, believe me, but it has to have some kind of motivation, some kind of reasoning behind it. here, it just feels like the plot needs him to be utterly shitty to charlotte so that “sparks will fly”. that first ep convo on the balcony??? wtf???? it was genuinely bizarre. i got weird incel vibes. and every time he lashes out at charlotte (at least in the first 4 episodes) it’s fucking silly, because it’s not like he lashes out because she’s scratching the surface of his innermost painful memories. no!!! many of their arguments revolve around basic things that he could easily clarify!!! which he does eventually, so like whyyyyyyyyyy. charlotte keeps telling him he’s being vague for no good reason and he still does it. it doesn’t make sense he’d be this guarded and outspoken at the same time. like, fine, keep that shit to yourself, don’t tell ppl, but don’t also get pissed at them when they don’t guess your mind. again, i love an antagonist dynamic when it’s done right, but here many times it’s just pointless bullying, it’s not sexy or fun or challenging. the writers keep making charlotte apologize to him about how “wrong” she got him and how he makes her doubt her judgement but it sounds fake to me. like a) this dude went out of his way to be a total assface to you from day one, b) none of that bullying was him trying to coax you into having a more complicated view of the world. when darcy rebukes elizabeth, he is hinting at her limited point of view. he’s not blatantly negging her or calling her stupid as this dude does. AND U KNO WHAT.

i’d be absolutely fine with him calling her stupid IF IT MADE SENSE WITHIN THE STORY 

like if charlotte had truly done smth stupid during the first episode, sure, fine, it’s somewhat warranted 

but for him to decide she’s an idiot for no other reason than her making some honestly super nice remarks about his brothers when he asked for her opinion is THE HEIGHT OF NONSENSE 

it’s even more nonsense when 2 episodes later he decides maybe she’s not that dumb after all FUCK U MR. EDGELORD

and it makes me pity charlotte cuz she’ll probably marry this dude and have to deal with him in his old age when he’ll be even more insufferable. 

and i totally get the appeal. i do! i mean their scenes are manufactured to make you want more of them, i see the chemistry, it’s there (and we’re already at a point in the series where he’s trying to make amends) but at the same time i’m put off by this dude’s intensity, cuz it’s not the hot kind of intensity...it’s more like he’s a giant dumb baby who breaks things. meh. theo james is very pretty tho, and he is doing the most with his character (that voice def helps!). but i wish this antagonistic relationship had been written better, because it could’ve been glorious

this is why i think sidney/georgiana should’ve been so much more present. just like darcy has his georgiana we need the humanizing element, we need to see more variety from this dude than just “guy who clearly needs anger management classes”. 

i’m pretty sure i’m in the minority or possibly one of two ppl not won over by this romance, and i can’t lie and say i don’t root for them. too much of this show is predicated on their clashes for them not to work it out and get together, but boyyyy do i wish they’d done it a bit better

i almost feel like a reylo anti lol, but at least kylo ren doesn’t neg rey every single time they talk 

also, i go back to rose williams’ faces because they just rly enhance how clumsy this dynamic is. theo james is doing byronic asshole 2.0 and charlotte looks at him like he’s developed a smell lmao. i mean the scene where she catches him naked? she turns around and FROWNS in this rly bizarre way, almost like she noticed a growth on his dick lmao it’s that bad 

anyway i totally get the appeal, but i also know what i want from this kind of dynamic and...this ain’t quite it 

honestly i think i prefer charlotte/cute architect guy whose name i don’t remember right now! 

that being said, my fave moments of this show are the most austen-esque, where ppl don’t take themselves so seriously. i mean the adventures of the perennially-ailing parker siblings (arthur & diana)? deeeelightful. the pineapple scene? glorious

also it makes me sad that sanditon was left unfinished because to see austen tackling georgiana’s character in depth would have been so, so interesting 

in conclusion, the show’s a lot of fun but also frustrating in many ways

i hope davies doesn’t set his eyes on re-adapting p&p or other austen classics because ermmm i know i’m trash but i am kind of tired of these sexed-up “look how scandalous we are behind closed doors” adaptations. you can make the regency era feel modern and relatable without “shocking hand job in the estate park” pls and thank u. sure, the regency era was the inheritor of the sexually relaxed 18th-century, but it wasn’t that relaxed yall. ppl still kept their wits and bonnets about them.

still, i’m glad this show exists and that it tries to take risks, i just wish it took different kinds of risks, if that makes sense. like i am SO bummed i didn’t get into sidney/charlotte, u have no idea