#by believing her. but im inclined to believe it if only because its hard to fabricate that kind of despair fuelled hatred for someone.

[valtsv]

we don't know what VAL was like before she became VAL, and therein lies the tragedy of her, but something that eats at me is that what we do know of her life doesn't suggest that she was much better off before. i don't doubt that part of her motivation for joining the war effort was probably rooted in that hateful, ignorant patriotism that hurts everyone and everything it touches; misguided faith in the propaganda she was sold, and perhaps even a capacity for cruelty that already lay festering within long before her transformation. but she volunteered. she wasn't a soldier returning to the active duty she'd trained for. and even if she didn't know that she'd have her personhood flayed from her to make room for a god of lies, she knew she was signing up for war. and happy people, those who are genuinely content with their lot on life, aren't generally in a hurry to throw that all away to serve on the front lines. we hear in the podcast about how even the truly desperate are more afraid of conscription than of going hungry. which begs the question of how utterly miserable the woman who became VAL must have been, how desperately alone, to see signing up as her only way out.

[moonieandi]

snapshots pt. 5 | stanley pines x f!reader 

summary: the second year of your life “married” to stanley pines, particularly concerning traditions 

warnings (TW): swearing, gambling, illegal activities, illusions of past abuse 

tags: fluff, affection, mutual-pining

notes: canonically no one knows anything about shermie really, which would be hilarious if I didn’t have to write about it \\ also i feel like there not too much fluff in this (could be really fucking wrong lol) but the next part i have drafted is sickingly sweet so just give me some time 

Also (again) i’ll begin linking a legit masterlist below with all the parts! I thought of renaming each era but the naming part of things is where im legit the leassst creative for some reason? maybe later idk? but anyway! so much love from everyone! thank you so much! you don’t know how much i appreciate the love and the comments, thats why i continue writing this ahhhhhhh! thank you!!!

word count: 4.4k 

| masterlist | part vi |

March, 1984 

It had taken her several months to come to terms with what had to be done for the sake of their identities. 

He had been more open with her concerning his past in that one two-hour conversation than he had in the past year in its entirety. Something that would shake a normal woman, but she had become so oddly attached to her new partner she almost didn’t care about the picture he painted of what he used to be - something he insisted he still was. Bad. He had said to her that night. That he wasn’t any good. 

The painting only flooded with more color, in those following months after said heart-to-heart. His conversation with his mother spoke of it. It also spoke of a man who truly honestly couldn’t be the picture he had painted. 

It’s something they had both tiptoed around, conversations of their parentage. Of course, because of Ford, she knew that they grew up in the typical American nuclear family home, with a mother who lingered in doorways and a father who raised his hands as frequently as his voice. But she didn’t know how intertwined Stanley had been with his mother in particular. 

Which was hard, considering he was now legally dead. 

That first frantic conversation they had had over the phone had shaken him, had him reconsidering. But watching Doc’ wait in anticipation and disbelief in the next room over quickly made him change his mind. It was so they would be safe, he reasoned. 

His mother had called believing she was calling Ford after she received the shattering news that her baby boy was presumed to be dead. Baby being used here loosely, seeing as Ford was only truly older by a mere fifteen minutes. 

His mother hadn’t been shocked Ford hadn’t contacted her in that past year, something he had shook off every time he passed the landline. He thought to call her. But she was quite hung up on not having heard from Stanley that past year, insisting in her ways that surely he would have called, her free-spirited boy was always much more inclined to call her, something she had never blamed Stanford for of course. Just a flippant difference between her two boys. One called and the other lingered in doorways, like her. 

Stanley had reasoned with her over the landline. Insisting that he, unfortunately, would not be able to make it to his own brother's funeral, something she had tisked at, raising her voice to who she assumed was Stanford. This is your brother! She had insisted. You loved your brother, don’t say you didn’t. Everyone makes mistakes, you need to forgive him now. 

It was not until after the event that she called again, telling him not to worry. That she had attended for him, but that his father was just as busy as him. Something unspoken between them, just as stubborn. She had meant to say. Just as ignorant. 

His mother spoke with him in a different tone over the phone, a difference in how she held cadence when she was talking to Stanford rather than Stanley, something he wondered if Poindexter ever noticed. 

His Doc’ knew the conversations drained an odd part of him, so she did her best to work around him when his mother did ring their landline. Something she did semi-frequently now that Stanley was officially dead. 

In the beginning, she had lingered in the next room, then drifted through doorways, and eventually made it until she sat at the kitchen table with him, playing with his fingers in hopes of baiting him away from the phone. If the conversation was shorter then surely he wouldn’t have to pretend to be someone he wasn’t for too long. 

She later realized this was a mistake, no matter how his impression of his brother gnawed at an odd part of her psyche. So she moved from him, doing dishes and cooking. But still oddly near him. 

It was easier to lean into domesticity when she played it so well around him, and it made the phone calls less nerve-wracking to take. Pretending his wife was doting on him, that his long-distance mother was calling to check in, and pretending he wasn’t a fraud and a failure. So he usually insisted on her presence. And he pretended that she played a role in it all and that his mother didn’t sound different over the phone. One big lie to make him breathe better. 

It’s after one of these phone calls that he slumps deep in his kitchen seat one day, and she turns from the dishes in the sink to ask what’s wrong. 

“We’re gonna have to tell her one day.” 

“What?” 

“That we’re married, doll.” He crossed his arms, a contemplative look overtaking him. The first time he’d said the word since that conversation in the car. “I don’t know how long until we have ta’, but I know we gotta.” 

“Okay.” She hums, hands still sudsy from the sink. “Is there any other family we may have to tell?” 

“My older brother, Shermie. But he’s in Cali not Jersey like my ma.” He hums. “Older than me, don’t know him as well. But he is closer.” 

“And will he be able to tell?” She asks. “That you’re not Stanford?” 

“Nah.” He sighs. “He’s got a wife though, and a kid from what I remember. A baby girl, probably about ten now.” 

“Oh my god, so you’re an uncle?” She laughs, a smile splitting her face once more. 

“Ya doll, have been since I was 18. Remember meeting her, but pretty soon after I hit the road.” 

He had been fond of her, from what he could remember. The baby girl had rarely left the crook of his doting mother’s arms, but when it came to be his turn to hold her he enjoyed the warmth and weight of her. And her gummy smile at his continued insistence. He still remembers her tiny hands, fisted around one of his fingers. She had been small, smaller than he had imagined babies could be. He bet she was still small, it felt hard to imagine her as more than a swaddle in the swell of his arms now. 

Silence breaks between them again. “Well for what it’s worth I think you’d be a great uncle, if you could have been closer to her that is.” She hums, moving back to the sink to wash some more dishes. Her hair curved around her soft face, beautiful in her usual careless way.

Maybe he would have been. 

June, 1984

They had started a tradition in their home. A young tradition, but she figured it still was one since they had promised to go about their day the same way as they had the previous year. Except this time they had thought to prepare. 

The town they resided in was odd for sure and had an affinity for the unexplained and perhaps more creepy pursuits. The town had a tradition of its own in which they held a Halloween event twice a year, Summerween they called it. 

Not that they had known of it their first year residing in the shack, but it was quite the surprise to open the door to trick-or-treaters in mid-June. The children had unknowingly interrupted Stan's attempt to teach her how to play poker. Unfortunately for the children, they didn’t have any candy on hand for them that year. Without anything to give them, the kids retaliated by tee-peeing their yard that same night. 

She had found it only slightly annoying, having to clean it up the next morning. But it quickly fell into amusement, watching Stan stomp and curse while pulling toilet paper from bushes and trees. He didn’t enjoy a prank that was not his own. And he wouldn’t be caught unaware the next year. 

Which was why they had wandered around town that last week, looking for supplies to decorate their porch and getting last-minute off-brand candy. She had scoffed at the shitty candy they had bought but figured it was more or less all they could afford. She had eyed up the bigger bags of nicer candy, chocolate had always been a weakness of hers. 

Stan had also bought what he called “Scary Stan” supplies. Silly string, odd meats, and fake blood found its way into their shopping cart. Along with supplies for caramel apples upon her insistence. 

They had made a night of it, decorating their porch with fake spider webs and the town's traditional carved watermelon jack-o-lanterns. She had gone ahead in making caramel apples also, bagging them up as she went for the children. Perhaps it would make up for the shitty candy. 

In keeping with tradition, Stan thought to continue their poker night as they had been doing the previous Summerween. So their night was spent in an identical fashion almost, with detailed explanations of correct poker etiquette from Stan with interrupted rushing to and from the door to give awaiting kids off-brand chocolate and homemade caramel apples. Except they sat across from each other in costume now. She had been amused when he had insisted on them being matching, he had flushed in embarrassment in the store that week, pleading his case after his initial insistence. Like it was only natural that they would match. She barely fought it, something odd aching in her chest at his rather sweet insistence.

“Come on! It’s a good idea!” 

“What are we Stan, twelve?” 

“No, we're married. Just as embarrassing.” He had said flippantly, his ears red in a flush as he shoved two capes into the shopping cart along with everything else. 

Which is how they ended up here tonight, sitting across from each other in the dim kitchen light, both dressed as a gaudy vampire couple while Stan explained for the fourth time the probability of getting a royal flush. Her feet propped up on his lap, like always. He had bent down to grab them, folding them into the curve of him. 

He had tried not to stare too long when she came down the stairs earlier, her matching velvet red cape and shitty plastic vampire teeth sat oddly in her mouth. But it was one of the first times she had done her makeup like that, all dark and creased around her enchanting eyes. And the first time he had ever seen that black shirt, which had a surprisingly low cut. All the more distracting. 

This is why he was stumbling through explaining what a royal flush was for the fourth time, and probably why she was looking all confused at him like that also. 

“Okay doll, let’s run through this a couple of times, then we’ll put in some real steaks here.” 

“Stan we are dead broke we are not gambling money tonight. You’d rob me blind!” 

“Shush!” He insisted, smiling across from her. “Just a couple rounds, I’ll show you some good hands and we’ll go from there, okay?” 

They were interrupted interspersedly from time to time during their practice rounds, Stan usually being the one to race out to the porch first, in hopes of scaring whatever little kid dared knock on their porch door. 

Of course, if the child was too young he’d call for her. She had put up a fight with him about scaring kids that were younger than ten tonight. Which he had been glum about until he watched her with them. 

She’d gush at the doorway, complimenting costumes and handing out her caramel apples she had slaved away over. She had this certain smile too, and silently in the back of his mind he thanked any little kid who knocked on their door that night because she looked particularly enchanting when she was kneeling down talking to them. Like she was always meant to be doing that. 

Anyone over ten was free for the taking though, and he took particular pride in scaring any poor sap who was old enough in her eyes. The fake blood in particular came in handy, and she would laugh when he’d routinely come back from the porch door slathered in it. She silently thanked those kids tonight, because he seemed to be particularly enchanting when he laughed like that. Like he was always meant to be this carefree. 

The poker games practice rounds were over though. And he had a particular surprise just for her. 

“Ta-Da!” He said, while pulling out a bag of candy from the very top cabinet she could never reach in the kitchen. 

“Oh my god, is that chocolate!” She gasped again, reaching for the bag. “Name-brand chocolate! Awe, you shouldn’t have Stan.” She encased it in her arms, hugging it like a stuffy. It was the bag she had been eyeing up in the grocery store not even a week ago.

“Ah-ah!” He moved to grab the bag back. “This is what we are betting with tonight, doll.” Candy back in his hands, he moved back to his seat. Opening the bag to evenly disperse the individually wrapped candy between the two of them. 

“How’d you even get that bag, Stan, we can barely afford everything else we bought.” 

“You don’t wanna know, hun.” He said, shuffling her candy pile in front of her. Okay, so he had stolen it, so what? He hadn’t called her “hun” in a while though. Distracting. 

He almost never called her that sickeningly sweet name now, something she thought about far too often for her good. She missed that term of endearment in particular for some reason. But perhaps Stan found it to be too domestic, too personal for what both resided between them now. Perhaps it reminded him of her mistake, of her tying herself to him for the foreseeable future. Her heart did something odd though, when he would call her that. She usually made note of it when he did call her “hun” now. Because it was so rare to hear it, and she hesitated to ask why. It would slip out of him in odd moments, moments he would catch himself unaware and relaxed around her. But it always made him flush now, too. 

The game followed similarly, his flushing smirk distracting her from her hand on more than one occasion. He was so charmingly confident when he was playing games, so competitive. She tried to shake it off, the way he looked like this. She wanted to play with him, too. 

“You’re full of shit doll.” 

“No!” She gasps, suddenly a good actress. “My hand is just that good bucko! I raised it by too cluster bars, are you gonna meet or fold sir?” She hummed, smiling at him over her hand of cards. 

This was probably the only time she was damn good at lying, he conceded. She liked to play it up, waving her hands and laughing everything off. She was pretty good at playing off a hand that had absolutely nothing in it. But he had memorized her tell long ago, memorized her face just the same. She looked the same every night, teasing him across this kitchen table over dinner. Her brow upturned just a little, her cheeks flushed. That was the look, her look. She had nothing in her hand. 

But he was wiping the floor with her. 

He hums, hand over his lips. “I guess I fold then.” He sets his cards down, pushing his stack of candy back towards her.  

“Yes!” She jumps up, reaching across to swipe his candy into her pile. An elated smile on her face as she dances in her seat. The kitchen light making shadows on her face, the sun having finally gone down to alleviate some of the June heat. She stops mid-dance, a realization blooming over her face. “Wait a minute.” 

“Hmmmm?” He says, munching on one of his candies. 

“I know for a fact you can count cards, Stan!” Her finger pointed accusingly at her. “That’s why they won’t let you back in Nashville. You should legitimately win every round, and I know that for a fact!” 

He leans back in his kitchen chair, laughing in his low gravelly voice. “Perhaps?” He questions, hands held up in guilt. 

“Gahh!” She yells, reaching across the table and the stacks of candy to throw a fist at his shoulder. “I’ll get you for real one day.” 

“You’re smart hun, I know you will.” That flush across his face. 

“You’re smart too though.” She says, stating what she knows to be true. He is smart, he proves it to her every day. He just would never actually take the compliment, something he figured was a lie. He’d never been called smart in his life before her. He’d let her lie about this one thing though. His head hung off the back of his chair. His Doc’ was a terrible liar, though. 

“Nah!” He says flippantly, hand waving away her truth. “Let’s watch a movie!” Jumping from his seat, scooping up her pile and his pile of chocolates, and racing to the T.V. They’d play again the next year, and he’d let her win again in hopes it would make her just as happy as she just was. And maybe then she’d believed she’d won and he’d believe he was smart enough to be out-witted by the likes of her. 

“Do you want anything to drink?” She inquires, head popping back into the living room. 

“No no, come here!” Waving her in, so she can plop down next to him on the floor. Candy piled high in between the both of them. A mischievous grin sneaks up on his face, hand already reaching for the movie she’d hate. She was terrified of zombies, for some reason. Something he takes advantage of routinely. Anything to have her curled up next to him, her heat seeping into his side as his hand made a home on the back of her neck. Like usual, like always. Something that still made him feel sickly sweet, her flippant affection for him. It must be nothing for her, to be this close to him.

“Scary movie?” 

She nods, mouth full of chocolate and shirt dangerously low. Her cape piled around her, and her eyes dark as she grins at him. Distracting. 

October, 1984

They had hit a metaphorical dead end when it came to the portal. Something they both feared voicing between the two of them. 

It was hard, almost impossible, to reverse engineer the plans drawn out in the one journal they had on hand. She knew there had to be two more out there, hidden in the woods. A homage to the three corners of the portal that she stared at day in and out. Stanford was like that in a way, flippantly sentimental about the oddest thing. 

Her old friend more than likely buried the other two journals somewhere on the property. Unfortunately for them both they did not know where the property line began and ended, but she more or less figured it was a lot of land to cover. Stan had backed up this claim, explaining to her that first night that Stanford had wanted him to take this first journal, take it with him to the ends of the earth. In hopes that the portal his brother had created couldn’t be replicated. Something they had both dared to do now and something they did not discuss in great lengths either. 

He had put them away in his haste, she figured. He was never one to half-ass anything really, but with the way Stan had described his brother that night he disappeared into the portal, she figured he was not necessarily himself. Not himself, actually at all. She had contemplated it a lot, the fear of otherworldly possession. But had a hard time believing Stanford would let anything into something as sacred as he believed his mind to be. He didn’t even let her up there. 

But the way he described his odd relationship with an entity that happened to be a shape was… distracting. It constantly had her flipping back and forth in the journal, looking for clues as to what Ford was doing in relation to an otherworldly being. He couldn’t help his own curiosity she figured, something she had never blamed him for except for now. Something she cursed him for, now. 

So they had both agreed to move in silence when it came to passing into the tree line of the property. She had more than hinted at their need for caution in communicating with whatever the hell Ford had previously encountered. Stan and Ford both considered themselves adventurers in their own right, which would be admirable if one of them wasn't missing from their current plane of existence. 

They had headed out together one October day, bundled up, and hoping to find signs of Ford on their property line. Hoping to find one of the journals, and nothing else. 

His red coat with a new patch was swung over his shoulders, as she had whined in the doorway that morning. She much preferred his things to her own nowadays. Much preferred to be swallowed by his shirts and jackets, not that he would ever comment. There was just more warmth to his things than her own now, and she preferred the imprint he left on the couch to her own in these colder months. Stealing his spot when he would up and leave for a new drink, laughing when he would come back to claim it. Stealing that imprint of him was her only joy, because it made him laugh and flush differently when she got close now. The closest he had allowed in months, the imprints and loose shirts he’d leave behind. Made something behind her chest ache thinking about it.

Felt slightly disjointed in their trek through the forest now, the thought of the unknown just beyond them both. And no warmth of his jacket to cool the part of her that achingly worried for him now.

But of course, they both had weighed the probability of them encountering some creatures that Ford had sighted in his journal, but she feared encountering something that was not listed in the specific one they had in their possession. Something out in the borders of their home, that they had no knowledge of. 

He was swearing with every step through the underbrush ahead of her, his hand held behind him in case she would need it when trekking through the uneven forest floor. His head held down as he stomped a path into the fallen leaves for her. Her head held up, looking for signs of their long-gone friend somewhere between the trees. 

“Fuck!” She swears, tripping over fallen branches. He reaches back, catching her with the length of his outstretched arm. The first time he had reached for her since he bent to fold her legs across his lap this morning. He felt far away. He was flushed though, worked up with the long trek they both had made. Some odd miles between them and their home now. 

He grunts, lifting her back to her feet with ease. Moving to wipe dead leaves and twigs from her hiking pants unconsciously.

“Should we map this out doll?” 

“Mhm.” She nods, as he reaches back into their shared backpack he had been carrying. Taking out a property map and a compass. He had thought to bring the map, commenting on how they could mark down when they would see odd things throughout the forest, and so they could track where they had already been. She had thought to bring the compass, simply to find their way home. 

She looks down at the unfolded map now held up in his hands, stepping to bend down under his arm, residing in front of his expansive chest and between his outstretched arms. He was warm, she noted, a part of her cooling. 

“Sooooo… I think I saw something around here.” She moved her pencil up, marking along their predetermined path where she thought she had seen tree carvings. She took a step back, running into his chest. Trying to get closer to him, before he would inevitably leave. “I believe we are about 1.5 to 2 miles out from the shack?” She questions, tilting her head back to look at him. 

He grunts, flushed by her proximity. Her back to his chest, he noted how warm she was when she was this close. Her eyes shining up at him in question. She shouldn’t be this close. 

“Mmm, feels like we’ve been walkin’ longer than that.” 

“You may be right.” She hums, her pencil held in her mouth now. “Should we retrace our steps? Get a better estimate? And look at that carving I saw?” 

“Whatever you say, boss.” He grunts, trying to move his eyes away from her. 

“Alright!” She steps back from him, suddenly cold. Ducking beneath his arm and stepping away from him as he begins to fold back up the map. She’d savor whatever he allowed. “Then we’ll be home in time for lunch.” She comments. 

“Can we have those fancy deli sammiches?” 

“Mmmm, sounds good to me.” She shrugs, letting him lead the way back to their home. Trying to find oddities in the tree line, but getting distracted by his shoulders the entirety of the way home. Missing that imprint of him along her back already.

[biblicallyaccuratecrow]

ouroboros rambles chapter 2

you guys seemed to like the chapter 1 rambles, so here is chapter 2!

[spoilers for isat and twohats below the cut]

i would like to start by saying that we all need more mirabelle POV fics in our lives. she deserves only the best.

I always really liked how Mira didn't just. get over act 5? like, the things that siffrin said were hurtful! yes! and she loves him! even after that! but it doesn't erase the pain and the conflicting feelings regarding it, especially because of the no-spoilers rule... which we will get more into i proMISE! in any case I was focused a lot on the fact that Mira post canon is dealing with a Lot, what with everyone still believing that she was chosen by the Change God and yknow. saving Vaugarde, and Siffrin's overall condition doesn't help! She wants him to be okay and safe, and she has already shown that she feels immense guilt over not being able to help siffrin during the loops, so I kinda leaned hard into that.

The entire party is about to be So Tired Of People.... especially The Introverts (Odile, Mira, and Siffrin)...

The fucking cart thing came to me out of fucking nowhere. I have no idea where or why that bit came around.

Siffrin sleeping habits analysis. siffrin sleeps all curled up like a cat most of the time? theyre small scrappy, but not really the most physically strong (before the loops), and i imagine more than a few years of traveling alone would train him to be ready to protect themselves however they can, even in their sleep. I think that this eases up a bit as they get comfortable with the party, which leads to them being able to sleep "normally". but of course, that is how they wake up in the loops. negative association and trauma from waking up back in the meadow..... i don't imagine they'll be going back to that any time soon.

I do have a Full Catalog of Siffrin's injuries (because im actually insane) but that will be talked about in my chapter 3 rambles. for now though, all im gonna say is that Siffrin definitely kept the stars hidden. In my headcanon, healing craft only works when you can actually pinpoint a wound, internal or external. I'm more inclined to believe that siffrin healed them up the best they could on their own after to hide them.

Ohhhh odile. my beloved. i have so many feelings about her and how she processes siffrin's issues postcanon. feelings i will not get into until next chapter. sorry lmaoooooo. All you gotta know for now is that once she starts seeing things, she can't stop. the signs appear everywhere, and she very quickly puts the pieces together from that point. All it takes is one domino to start the cascade, and Odile is the kind of person that WILL get to the bottom of it all, no matter what it takes.

Mira's guilt. Oh man. There are some ways in which her and Siffrin are very alike, and this is one of them. She's justified in being mad, yes, but that doesn't erase the fact that she doesn't want to BE mad. She hates it. because she knows now that siffrin was suffering. She defeated the king, saved vaugarde, but the cost was her friend's health and happiness. siffrin said that they were happiest they'd ever been with the party... and yes, siffrin loves them all deeply, but she never could have wanted that love to come at such a great price.

Mira has gotta be TIRED. girl healed siffrin a grand total of (checks my page of notes from act 5) six times. with very little cooldown. and that was AFTER deflecting the ONE SHOT KILL attack from the king (which, even with the carrot method shield, does at least 1/4 damage) and unfreezing siffrin....ough. let her rest!

i love torturing isa using his crush. its so funny. bro is a disaster. brain completely short circuits at the thought of siffrin in his clothes i can IMAGINE IT SO CLEARLY.... odile is gon abe homophobic soon /silly

Siffrin's wish... this scene was really important to me. Just for clarification (and this will become a LOT more obvious later), I don't really regard this scene as Siffrin getting over what happened? Because he definitely isn't. But they have already literally let go of their wish, and I wanted to explore a more… intentional version of that? its long-lasting effects are still there, mentally and physically. it doesn't just go away. But it has served its purpose and this is my way of showing the transition point from the loops and their future with their family.

Also!!! the idea of mourning something that no longer serves its former purpose, a life you cannot get back. Siffrin can never go back to who they were before their wish. They have been fundamentally changed as a person. And while the wish did bring good things, the flipside is that it also dismantled their entire worldview and life in its entirety. They died from this wish, suffered because of it, but the meaning behind it remains, and i think that this scene kind of shows the idea that siffrin still feels compassion for what it originally meant to them. its a bittersweet reality.

[witchykale]

ppl don’t talk enough about the crazy potential for drama when it comes to rhal and lady bish

like bish is very clearly a villain who (for selfish reasons) is doing everything in her power to make sure asch carries out his duty of dying to restore magic to daemos

rhal, on the other hand, isnt portrayed as a villain at all. he doesnt have any malicious intentions (if you dont count the bloodthirst) and he’s even made to be sympathetic when he’s being threatened by his father. he’s pretty much set up to be a good guy, esp with the implication of him developing a relationship with ava while the others are looking for her

and this is so interesting because he! is! in love with lady bish!! like WAY more than she is with him (although i personally like to think the feeling is mutual lol) and theres no fucking way hes just gonna break it off with her the moment he finds out shes doing villain stuff.

i think theres a lot of things that definitely would lead to him taking her side, too. its implied that rhal and asch at least have a strained relationship: rhal gets mad when hes reminded of him, talking about how annoying he is and how hes gonna kill him etc. asch is just dismissive when rhal is brought up, and he doesn’t want to be compared to him. i do think that all of this could just be regular sibling stuff, but i also think that jess cant resist a complicated angsty brother dynamic so im inclined to believe their relationship is a lot more complex lmao

in addition, rhal seems to be pretty apathetic to the whole ‘letting his brother die for the good of the kingdom’ thing? i mean its pretty obvious that rhal has a one track mind and only really cares about battle, but as far as we see he doesnt have many objections to the inevitable sacrifice

i do think that rhal does have a lot of feelings about the sacrifice thing though. he may not show it, but i think it’d be pretty hard to not care about your own brother getting murdered by your dad. as much as he is a himbo, he does have a thought or two sometimes

which is why i think theres a lot of potential for him to have a huge internal conflict about choosing between his wife, who he loves, and his brother, who is. his brother. theres a lot of different possible outcomes to this and i have soso many thoughts about it so like, ask me if u wanna hear me ramble about any specific thing lmao

[strangebrew]

now that im alone out here i can post what i really think of rakitin i love him but i hate him only me and like one other person on this site understands him and the worst part about being able to understand him is that you have to take him seriously a little bit. if you do not take him seriously you misunderstand him. and i get that sort of taking him seriously is hard when he wrote a condescending poem about a woman's foot to try and get with her and it backfired horribly because a rival suitor bullied him for it and the lady in question basically told him to leave her house and never come back and then he wrote a gossip column about her so i get it but there is value in taking rakitin seriously for a moment. he is mostly a flat character but the depth that is there is interesting to look at

even though rakitin is deeply egotistical and while he does actually seem to believe he is a good person a lot of that egotism stems from a place of deep rooted insecurity and shame. he is vain but a lot of that vanity is overcompensation for the fact that he is poor. and, another thing most people dont wanna do when trying to understand rakitin is that they dont rlly wanna think about the relationship between alyosha and rakitin. or even rakitin and any of the other karamazovs but its mostly alyosha and him that you have to think about.

and the thing is that rakitin wishes he was alyosha so fucking badly. he is both deeply & weirdly obsessed with alyosha but he also hates his guts. he resents him for being rich and christian and "pure" when rakitin is none of those things. rakitin wants what alyosha has but also desperately wants to prove that alyosha ISNT pure and that alyosha is base and actually horrible. he literally sold alyosha to grushenka to get his virginity taken away like its that bad. hes obsessed with the idea of alyosha being actually sexual and base because he probably has some sort of sexual shame and feels incredibly dirty and gross for it so he projects it onto alyosha. seeing alyosha as being pure and christian on the surface but actually being sexual and base probably makes him feel less ashamed in some ways and allows him to justify what hes feeling. because if alyosha the pure innocent little angel karamazov is actually just as sexual inclined as he is then its not bad and doesnt make him feel like a disgusting pervert for it.

obviously all of this is through dost's fucked up standards for christian morality i dont believe being a sexual person or being atheist makes you horrible or whatever but dost does. and thus a majority of his characters also see through this lens, even rakitin, who is the blue haired socialist liberal dost made up in his mind to get mad at. because even though rakitin is one of his liberal characters he still grew up the son of a village priest and he is in seminary school so. this went on for way too long and i STILL have shit to say about rakitin

[starfinss]

Wingman — Akaashi Keiji

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Summary: Bokuto heard you like Akaashi and decides to be your wingman. It goes about as well as it sounds.

Pairing: Akaashi Keiji x Reader

Rating: Fluff, humor (SFW)

Word Count: 1,779

“Do you like Akaashi?”

You choked on your rice at Bokuto’s sudden question, sending you into a violent coughing fit as you pounded on your chest in an attempt to clear your throat.

“I’m sorry, what?!” You said once you could speak, taking a large swallow of water from your bottle.

Bokuto looked blankly at you, owlishly, which was sort of his default expression. “I asked if you liked Akaashi.”

You sent a glance to Yukie, who seemed to be trying her best to look innocent.

“Who,” you said pointedly, and you watched Yukie’s facade break, just a smidge, “told you something like that?”

Bokuto inclined his head in said girl’s direction. “Her.”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “Yukie, I told you not to tell anyone. And you told him of all people?”

A pause, then offense flashed across Bokuto’s face. “Hey!”

Yukie made a pained noise. “I’m sorry! It kind of just… slipped out. We were talking about how Akaashi never seems to date anyone, and I remembered what you told me and I just… I couldn’t stop talking!”

“No offense, Yukie, but Bokuto isn’t the best at keeping secrets.”

“Hey hey, I can keep secrets!”

You pressed your lips into a thin line, hands flattened against your temples.

“Okay, prove it by keeping this one. I haven’t told Akaashi because I’ve never seen him ever show me any sign that he feels the same.”

Bokuto took a large bite of his sandwich. “Just tell ‘im anyway. What’s the worst that could happen?”

You sighed. “Don’t talk with your mouth full, it’s disgusting. And I dunno, he could reject me?”

Bokuto swallowed loudly, a splitting grin growing on his face.

“Well, what about this, (L/N). How about I be your wingman? Ey?”

Your mind flooded with all the ways that idea could go wrong, and the bad outweighed the good.

“No. No, Bokuto—“

“Come on, (L/N), let me help! I know Akaashi better than anyone, we’re best friends! I wanna do this for you, come on, let me!”

Bokuto was relentless on and off the court, and he was hard to argue with. He did know Akaashi the best, you’d give him that, even while you were friends with the quiet setter as well. Being team manager with Yukie really did have its perks.

And Akaashi really was too pretty for his own good.

You could benefit from Bokuto’s help, even if something would undoubtedly go terribly wrong in the process.

“Fine,” you relented, resulting in loud cheers, the sounds drawing the attention of the people eating lunch around you.

You exchanged a weary look with Yukie.

“I hate you,” you said, and she smiled.

“I know.”

Your eyes flicked back to Bokuto, who was bouncing in his seat.

“I have a plan.”

You put another bite of rice in your mouth. If this was going to be as insane as you thought it was going to be, you’d need a full stomach.

“Tell me.”

————————

Bokuto’s plan was horrible.

The first one he gave you involved you just walking up and kissing Akaashi, but your use of some choice language in response to that made Bokuto change tactics.

“Go into a closet—“

“No.”

“I could lock—“

“Bo!”

He groaned. “Let me talk!”

“Then stop giving me plans that could result in me being utterly humiliated!”

“Fine! Then try this. Just get him alone after practice and ask him to walk you home.”

You frowned. “We do that every day anyway. We live two houses apart.”

“Toss him some sets!”

Yukie made a frustrated noise. “I’m going to lock you in the club room.”

You gave her a fearful look. “Me?”

“No. Bokuto. But maybe you if we can’t come up with something.”

You closed your now empty lunch box. “So you’re in on this too, now?”

She grinned. “I’ve always been in on this.”

Anger simmered in the pit of your stomach. “Did you tell him on purpose?”

“What?” Yukie said, then paled. “No. That really was an accident. All I’m saying is I support you.”

“Well,” you sighed, “that’s something, I guess.”

“Lock you in the club room!” Bokuto cried, and the expression on his face coupled with the triumphant tone in his voice made it seem very much like he’d struck gold.

You paused. “What?”

“I was joking, Bo,” said Yukie.

“No, but it could work!”

It could. But you were pretty sure Akaashi had a key, so it would be kind of useless to put him in a situation he could easily get out of. And, to further this, you also had a key. Bokuto pouted when you relayed this to him.

“Come on, (L/N), let me be your wingman!”

You rolled your eyes. “Isn’t that what I’m doing? All you’re giving me is stuff like ‘lock yourself in a closet.’”

“It could work!”

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period, and you stood up, stretching your arms above your head.

“I’ll see you guys at practice,” you said, “text me if you get any new ideas.”

————————

Practice was somewhat of a nightmare. Of course, it went as well as it usually did, the gym full of Bokuto’s victorious shouts and Akaashi and the other club member’s sarcastic quips. But that wasn’t the problem. Every time something needed to be fetched or the water needed to be refilled, either Yukie or Bokuto, usually with matching grins, suggested you go with Akaashi. Akaashi, of course, shut this down fairly quickly since he had no need to assist you with such menial tasks.

But Bokuto didn’t stop there, no. It was too much to hope a hurricane would stop in its path.

Because during a break, Akaashi approached you.

“Is there any reason why Bokuto is constantly asking me to compliment you?”  He said as he dried his face with a towel.

You furrowed your eyebrows, dread sinking into the pit of your stomach. “He’s doing what?!”

“Asking me to-“

“No, I heard you. I just can’t believe he’s doing that.”

Akaashi blinked, oblivious to the situation. “Is there a problem, (L/N)?”

You sighed. “Yeah. No, I don’t know. This is a mess.”

From what Akaashi told you, Bokuto had started showering you with random compliments, then asked Akaashi if he agreed.

“I just want to know why he’s doing that. Do you think he has a crush on you?”

You shook your head. “No. This is… It’s something else. I don’t really want to talk about it, sorry Akaashi.”

He looked worried all of a sudden. “Is there something wrong?”

Your eyes went wide. “No! I’m fine, really. I just— I can’t talk about it.”

“Why?” Bokuto said, strolling over, and you deflated, “do you not trust him?”

“Bo,” you warned, speaking between gritted teeth, “not. Now.”

“Isn’t this what winging is?”

Akaashi looked deeply confused. “Winging? What is that supposed to mean? Did you make up a word for spiking?”

Bokuto seemed affronted. “No! I’m her… Her man wing—“

“It’s called wingman, Bo,” you muttered.

He was going to give you away.

“Tell him, (L/N), he thinks you’re pretty, smart-“

Akaashi blinked. “You asked me what I thought about that, Bokuto.”

Bokuto faked shock. “So you don’t really think those things?”

“I never said I didn’t.”

Bokuto gave a squawk you could only assume was a cry of victory. “See? See, (L/N) Akaashi thinks you’re pretty! You gotta tell him, tell him now!”

You looked at Bokuto with pure murder in your eyes, and he seemed to falter.

“Tell me what?!”

“Akaashi!” You cried, “talk to me outside, would you?”

You looked sharply at Bokuto.

You buried your head in your hands once you were outside. “ I might as well just come out and say it, because we both know Bokuto isn’t about to quit. That massive meathead is trying to be my wingman because he found out I like you today.”

You sent Yukie a murderous look as she passed the open door, raising your voice a bit as you spoke. “Because someone told him.”

She looked sheepish.

You closed the door, only breaking eye contact with her when you couldn’t keep in anymore due to the new barrier between you.

“Well, that’s fine,” Akaashi said, “I like you, too.”

You worried your lip between your teeth. “I understand if— Wait what?”

Akaashi looked at you blankly. “I like you too, (L/N).”

You were at a loss for words. “You never gave me any signs that you liked me too.”

Akaashi leaned against the door. “I walk you home every night.”

You frowned. “We’re literally neighbors.”

“That’s beside the point. Why do you think I bring you breakfast to eat while we walk to school?”

You blushed. “I thought you were being nice.”

“No,” Akaashi stepped forward, letting his hands fall to your shoulders, “no, (L/N). I like you. You’re an incredible person, and I thought I was making myself clear with my advances.”

Well, you decided, you were a dumbass.

“Wanna… Go get something to eat sometime?” You asked, voice quiet, and Akaashi nodded.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

He kissed you, and you swear you forgot how to breathe, that you forgot your own name. You sighed softly, reaching up to thread your fingers into his hair. Akaashi was an intense young man, and kissing him, even if it was simple and innocent, was just as intense. You felt him wrap his arms around your waist with a heartbreaking tenderness, nose brushing yours as his lips pressed and ghosted against your own.

It was cold outside, but you didn’t care, not when his lips were so soft and gentle.

The door opened abruptly and you heard a shout that could only have belonged to Bokuto. You felt Akaashi smile against your mouth before he pulled back.

“I am the best wingman!” He cried, “Hey, hey, hey!”

You laughed. It felt good to laugh, especially when Akaashi was still holding you so close.

“You are, Bo,” you confirmed, resulting in more cheering.

“Akaashi got a girlfriend!” He shouted as he ran inside, and you couldn’t help but smile.

“Is that what you want to be?” Akaashi asked, and you nodded.

“Yes.” You were unable to hide your grin.

“Then it’s official.” Akaashi kissed your nose, then stepped back.

“I will hold your hand when we walk home.”

You blushed at his bluntness. “I’ll hold you to that.”

“Nice pun!” You heard Yukie shout, and you groaned.

“I hate both of you!”

You didn’t. But the smile that ghosted Akaashi’s lips as you said the words was worth it.

So was the burning kiss he gave you after practice, and the feeling of his hand in yours as you walked home.

Maybe having Bokuto’s help, as disastrous as it had been, wasn’t so bad after all.

[1loer]

Hello! Just wondering what dr ships are rotting your brain or thinking about for the past few weeks. What are your Mikan ships as well? Btw I love your art you're so awesome :))

omg u have no idea how happy this ask made me lol!!! hahaha!!! thank u for enabling me c:<

DR ships that i have like. quite consistent brain rot for been attacking me the last few weeks. I just find Ougoku so fucking cute and precious i love it so much and Naegiri has reared its head and im in a constant state of komahina+nami feels bc im writing a fic for them rn!!

Soulfriends!!Soulfriends too oh my God soulfriends like Destroys me it hit me so hard when I played SDR2 for the first time. I really loved Kaz (despite everything :')) so i did all his fte's and just. Oh my god they're so special to each other!!!!!!! I also hc Hajime as being Kaz's bi awakening lol (tho im p.sure thats a popular headcannon) bc it just makes too much sense. But also like. I just think they'd make such good and like special friends. IDK its weird i ship them but its more like the most intense BroTP i've ever had but i defo think Kaz goes through having a crush on Hajime for the longest time OHAEROGO I like to think Hajime would be very physically affectionate to him too? Mostly bc he thinks its funny the way Souda gets so riled up by it but I think he'd love giving him like forehead kisses and ruffling his hair in like. A platonic/flirty way???? The song for them that really gets me (bc im very musically inclined and also ask me about my character playlists OTJRIGJOIEA) is that Stev en Unive rse one no matter what . like i litro get so emotional listening to it imagining them!!!!! the "through whoever you've been, through whoever you'll be, through whatever you lose, you will always have me, at the end of your rope, i'll be holding you tight, im gonna be right by your side no matter what" bit. *slams my head into a pillow and screams* just!!!! They could both do w/ each other you know??? Someone who loves them and trusts them and believes in them and someone to just have fun and be themselves w/ and joke w/ and oh my god oh ym god its literally so important !!!!!!!

Funny you should mention Mikan ships tho bc actually! A mikan ship has been fuckin me up recently haha! I've suddenly become like. SO soft for hajime/mikan. I wasn't too into it when i played her route in SDR2 and it ended w/ marriage, but like. looking back on it. theres very few characters Hajime is like. actually soft and gentle w/. Chiaki is one and Mikan is another and just. oh ym god that makes me m e lt . like he cares for her so much? and he's so worried for her? and he just wanted to hold her and protect her!!!! and yes! she deserves it!!!!!!!!she deserves someone who'll love her properly!!!! truly!!! She's been through so much and Hajime being that safe space for her just. dont touch me. dont look at me. I genuine think he'd be SO protective of her. and patient. and she wont know what to do bc she's never had that before and it'd be so scary for her but he'd help her through it all ARGH!!!! Not to reference another SU song but. god. dont listen to Found while imagingn Hajime singing it to her. dont do it. oh ym god. AND ALSO their like. Omg the way they can both relate (depending on how much of Izuru you believe hajime can rememebr) and understand each other's relationship w/ Junko in a way that like. really. the other despairs couldn't. bc only they had such a close relationship w/ her. I mean maybe Nagito could but. LOLLLL DO NOT PUT THEM IN A ROOM TOGETHER TO TALK ABOUT JUNKO OIAHJGIAI that'd be insane. no actually do it i want to see it i want to see Mikan go crazy and flat pack his ass like ikea furniture.

I'm also of the intense opinion that Mikan and Nagito do Not and Will not ever get on. Only because they're just. simultaneously too similar and too different. Like they're SO similar but they go about it in such different ways that i just think they'll never be able to fully understand each other so just cannot get along DESPITE having so much in common. like even before junko but ESPECIALLY after Junko. Also because its fucking hilarious to imagine. like its so funny. I think they should be allowed to hate each other actually. it'll probably be good for them.

I also. ofc. love the classics. I love Bandaid. its probably my main mikan ship tbh even tho i've become so fond of hajime/mikan. I just think. Ibuki would be like so good to balance her out. Bc ofc mikan is SO reserved and self-concious and Ibuki couldnt be either of those things if she tried. opposites attract. Also Ibuki is like. So emotionally intelligent? Idk if people really give her credit for that but like. God I loved her then i did her fte and that last bit where she reveals that like she just wanted Hajime to relax and shit oh my god i was blown out the water. Like OFC!!! OFC she's highly in tune w/ others emotions!! she wouldnt be able to form a band w/o that!! So i think that even though it may be a very intense version of opposites attract and Ibuki is very/...intense. oijaejoi . I think she'd be able to see where Mikan's true limits are and not force her past them, but be able to push her just far enough that she'd realise that like. it's okay to be yourself! its okay to say what you want! In that sense I think Mikan could probably grow as a character way more w/ Ibuki than w/ Hajime bc i think Hajime would treat her just too softly and not have the guts to push her in the ways she probably needs. Also i hc mikan as a hardcore lesbian so. Ya know OIGjoi

Wow ok i didnt think i'd have that much to say but u lit a fire under my ass anon! This is the most i've drawn in months LOL! There is a severe lack of Mikan on this blog considering how much i adore her so heres her w/ a few of my fave ships of hers. I love u so much i kiss ur forehead and tuck you into a rlly comfy bed and give u hot chocolate then read u a bedtime story. Also this is the treat at the end for anyone who actually read through all that bullshit OUHSEIOAJIOIJAIOJ

[haztory]

𝐨𝐟 𝐟𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐤 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝. (1)

--iwaizumi hajime x f!reader; fake/pretend dating, mutual pining, third year characters, confident/no-nonsense reader, puppet master oikawa, ocassional cursing, other than that no warnings!

--summary: Iwaizumi Hajime was more than content to not be at the receiving end of the hordes of fangirl's attention. 

But when they all suddenly devote their time and love to him, he can't help but quickly want an out. It's Oikawa's suggestion- a good one at that. Get a girlfriend to scare them off.

And what better than use you, Iwaizumi's best friend with a long standing crush on him, to play the role.

a/n: this is my first haikyuu fic! i did not expect it to be about iwa considering im a huge daichi simp, but that’s what listening to bubble pop electric by gwen stefani and browsing through pinterest does to the brain, ig. please let me know if any characters are too ooc, as im still trying to get them down.

other than that, enjoy! messages are always appreciated. 

(w.c. 4836)

masterlist | next chapter

Iwaizumi Hajime was hand sculpted by the gods, the entire female student body deduces with fanatic agreement one blessed afternoon. His shoulders are broad, skin rippling like waves breaking on rocks under the movement of his muscles. His stomach is firm and taut with the lining of his abs and his pectorals are considerably large enough to have every single girl in attendance foam at the mouth. And as he raises one— bulging — arm to wave sheepishly to the widened eyes of the crowd, his thick and veiny hand on full display, a collective moan is heard throughout the building. It has the poor boy ducking his head downward even further. 

The fundraiser arranged to cover the expenses of the volleyball team’s traveling to away games exceeded its initial goal (that of which the all-female led student council was greatly responsible for) resulting in the entire team parading themselves around the cafeteria as a reward for the students’ commitment to the task. 

Shirtless.

And while attention from the female population has usually always been paid to the star setter, Oikawa Tooru and all of his addicting charm, his absence in this mouthwatering and delectable ceremony has allowed for the ace and vice-captain of the Seijoh Volleyball Team to shine. Oh, and shine, he has. 

Within a mere five minutes, the fiercely devoted and militant fanclub belonging to Oikawa has suddenly converted— briefly, they insist— to the groupies of Seijoh’s Vice Captain: powerful ace, leader of offense, total hottie. 

The attention increases tenfold from that point on. Suddenly, Oikawa is no longer the only one receiving love confessions numerous times on a daily basis (much to his chagrin), but instead is sharing the spotlight with his best friend, who is more than uncomfortable with the unexpected shift in notice. He was never ecstatic at being labeled as ‘Oikawa’s number two’, adamant that he was his own entity despite the intricate intertwinement with his best friend, he was, in fact, totally fine with never being hounded by girls at every minute of the day. Sure, the attention would be nice, occasionally. 

But this? This is outrageous.

This is the tenth girl today to have stopped by his locker, a pink flush encompassing her face as she sticks her hands out to present something to Iwaizumi. It’s tupper ware, decorated in a pink bow with his name written in cursive on the top accompanied by some cute glitter stickers. That would make this the fourth container he’s received this morning, and as much as the whole act fills him with a deep dread and hesitation, he doesn’t have the heart to reject her gift. Especially when her hands are shaking so hard and she’s stuttering every other word out. 

So he puts on the standard smile, the one that he’s seen Oikawa pump out a hundred times a day but fails to meet in equal warmth and charm, and thanks her graciously and sincerely— even though he’s not that big a fan of milk bread and this is the third one he’s going to have to shove into his locker. 

He bows to her with an awkward smile, “Ah, thank you, uh…”

“H-Hina!” she shouts, her hands slapping upward towards her mouth after the outburst. The pink flushes deeper on her skin, and Iwaizumi has to wonder what exactly is going through the air for a girl to have this kind of reaction to him. He hasn’t changed, hasn’t developed a new attitude that should have girls swooning at his feet. He’s the same as always, stubbornly so. He is Iwaizumi Hajime, hardass, avid monster movie watcher and the usual second thought. He supposes he should feel somewhat elated at the long-awaited recognition, but he can’t shake off the feeling that this is all incredibly unwarranted. 

It's a surface value attraction. They're not really swooning for him, just the idea of him. That stings a bit more than he’d like to admit.

“Hina,” he affirms with a gentle nod, bowing his head in gratitude, “Thank you for the treat. I will, uh, treasure every bite.”

He doesn’t mean it to be anything charming (because he’s not) nor even remotely romantic (because it’s not), it’s just what he comes up with at the top of his head, but Hina starts to shake and a watery smile spreads across her face when she hears it and he knows he’s made this whole thing much worse. Before he can even awkwardly ask if she’s alright, she bows hurriedly again before running off with a shriek. 

It's then that he’s sure Oikawa is one sadistic motherfucker because there is no way anyone mentally sane could take that reaction as a compliment. There’s an intense guilt that settles in his stomach for the rest of the day for causing a girl to tremble like that. 

Curse the student council for that stupid fundraiser award. He would much rather walk to every away game than have to go through another day of this. 

He opens his locker again, placing the container in there amongst all the other ones and the numerous handmade cards declaring affection. He closes it with a sigh. He can only hope that this phase of adoration is reaching its end. 

Quickly.

**

It does not end quickly. 

It's month three of endless confessions and Iwaizumi is about to lose his mind. Word spreads about his favorite kinds of teas and sweets (which he is sure Oikawa is directly responsible for) and his locker starts to resemble a mall kiosk more than any part of school property. The outside is decorated with stickers and taped with more love cards and he’s pretty sure someone found out his combination (again) because there are balloons floating out of it.

It's a circus. One that Mattsukawa and Hanamaki repeatedly laugh about every time they see it. 

He would like to indulge in the acts or at least make some kind of peace with the situation, he really would. He’s always fantasized in passing about the pride and specialty one must feel at being the center of female attention, having seen it and thwarted it first hand from Oikawa’s fans, but the longer this drags on the more fraudulent he starts to feel.

How can he enjoy his favorite foods when the girls giving it to him are blinded by a false idea of him? They’re not genuine, and if he accepted them, he would only feel like a bad guy, taking advantage of poor girls who haven’t got the slightest clue about him. Because Iwaizumi doesn’t have the million dollar smile like Oikawa does, nor does he have the oozing charm and commercial personality. 

He’s hard, and stubborn, and less inclined to entertain bullshit— the complete opposite of shitty-kawa. So whatever perception these girls think they have of Iwa, they’re wrong. and he can’t accept gifts from these girls who think they love him, when in reality, he’s the furthest thing from what they assume he is. 

“Why are you so adamant to believe that what they feel isn’t real? What's so ridiculous about liking you? Hmm?” Oikawa sings with a laugh one afternoon, the whole team crammed into the club room as they change out of their practice gear. the other guys snicker at Iwaizumi’s dismay, the usual frown painted on his face is permanently etched deeper into his skin and he knows they’re all getting a sick enjoyment from his torture.

The constant reliability to the chaos Oikawa brings is now subjected to his own taste of havoc. And he’s absolutely miserable. 

In all of his stubborn self-sufficiency, he’s refused to even indulge the guys with a verbal complaint, simply grumbling at the gifts before moving on with his day. Intent on dealing with this problem on his own and prohibiting himself from being a burden to anyone else. 

But he’s off his a-game in practice and the crease between his eyebrows is now a persistent feature on his face these days.

“Because it's not real,” he grunts, throwing his sweaty shirt into his sports bag, “They don’t like me.”

Hanamaki snorts from across the benches, a wide smile on his face as he unlaces his shoes and sings, “They only like him for his bodyyy.”

“Can you blame them? Who would ever like Iwa for his personality?” Matsukawa joins him in snickering, earning a killer glare from the victim in question. Not helping. They only laugh harder. 

“So what?” Oikawa questions amusedly, ignoring the sarcasm dripping from the other two third years, leaning his body against the lockers as he watches his best friend ripple with frustration. A constant sight these days.

“So what?” Iwaizumi turns to look at him, incredulity furrowing his features as his friends look at him like he’s grown a third head for being reasonably uncomfortable with this, “It's weird. They’re giving all of these nice gifts to a guy they barely know and they all look at me like a piece of meat.”

“God, girls objectifying you? The horror.” Mattsun torts again, earning a water bottle thrown at his face.

“So what?” Oikawa laughs again, the kind of laugh that reverberates around the room and rings a little too loudly in his ears. He’s heard this laugh thousands of times over the years, coming out to play when Oikawa is far too keen on putting Hajime as the butt of a joke. The mockery is clear in his voice, bleeding in the two simple words yet weighing like a hundred. He can usually take it, dish it back with equal fervor to his best friend, but this time around, he can’t. 

This whole mess of a situation sits heavily on his shoulders and for the first time, any attempt to just barrel through a problem like he so often does seems pointless to Hajime. Because no matter how much he ignores, no matter how often he declines, the girls will continue to only see Seijoh's ace. Not Iwaizumi Hajime. 

He sighs. He doesn’t know what he was expecting in venting to his friends. Validation if they were any nicer, but deep down he knew it would take a different trajectory. 

Maybe they’re right; Maybe he is blowing this out of proportion. Maybe he should just accept the gifts, enjoy them while he can because the girls are choosing to do it. They’re not being held against their will, nor is anyone really being hurt by these peculiar circumstances. It's, theoretically, a win-win.

It doesn’t stop the pit in his stomach from sinking even lower when he sees girls stop their chattering in the hallways as he passes. It doesn’t stop the overwhelming feeling of disappointment he feels when he notices they stare at his biceps before his face before dashing away. 

 Matsukawa shuts his own locker with a grumble, “Must be nice.”

“You wanna take my place, Issei?” iwaizumi turns to look over his shoulder, meeting the mischievous twinkle of the middle blocker. 

“Yeah man, I do. Girls at my feet everyday bringing me food? That’s every guy’s dream.”

“Yeah, if every guy was a piece of shit like you.” The words tumble without second thought and Hanamaki finds himself clutching his stomach with laughter at the retort. He doesn’t mean to direct his anger at his friend, but it seeps into his words anyways. He’s lucky they’re good enough sports to take it in stride. Even if the twinkle in Matsukawa’s eyes dims and he grumbles a “shut up” while he slaps the back of Hanamaki’s head. 

He knows a solution— or sympathy— won’t be offered in his venting, adamant that this is something he needs to solve on his own, but he can’t help himself. He just has to get it out. “I can't even go to class normally anymore. There’s always a girl waiting for me.”

His back is turned towards his friends as he folds his gym clothes into the open cubby, but even despite the absence of his facial expression, the other three sitting near him can hear the exhaustion in his voice. Much as they might tease him, they’ve sat front and center to the slow decline of Hajime’s sanity and comfort as he was thrust suddenly into the spotlight that he was ill-prepared for. He’s laughably out of his element, but his plight is severe enough for all three of them to occasionally step in.

Hanamaki and Mattsun have had their fair share of instances in which they’ve had to redirect of a horde of girls hounding at them for Iwaizumi’s location, telling them that they had no idea where Iwaizumi could have gone when in fact, he was hiding in the clubroom. And while they would’ve been more than happy to send them his way just to watch him fluster and stutter, the two friends knew the momentary laugh wouldn’t have been worth the further depletion of Hajime’s confidence and happiness. Iwaizumi wants this attention to be for something genuine, for something that he was directly responsible for and can be proud of. Not something as surface value as an attractive body. 

Truth be told, all three of Seijoh's third years want to help him as much as Iwaizumi wants this to be over. But just like him, they have no idea what to do.

Hajime sighs again, “Don’t even get me started about when I’m with (Y/N). You think stalking is bad? Try having to deal with evil glares too.”

Scratch that. They have one idea.

The mention of the ace’s other best friend, the one that they’re all too familiar with, has all of Seijoh's members perking their heads upward in interest. A lightbulb going off simultaneously as they all share a glance with one another. Hanamaki looks up to Oikawa who looks to Mattsun who looks to Hanamaki. Their eyes darting between one another, telepathically asking the same question.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Hanamaki and Mattsun finalize their answer with a hard stare at Oikawa and smirks on their faces. They both give a long nod to their captain and like the well-oiled machine the Seijoh Volleyball Team is known to be, a plan is formulated and put into action before anyone can blink. 

“Oh?” Oikawa prods, taking the initiative. His grin is suddenly more wicked than before, “How so?”

Iwaizumi notices the subtle change in tone in the conversation, can hear the smile in Oikawa’s words, but he doesn’t think much of it. Simply attributing it to the mention of the beloved figure they’re all acquainted with. He can’t blame them, finding his own mood has tipped upward at the mere thought of you. And while he has apologized to the moon and back for inadvertently getting you involved in this nightmare of a situation, there’s a resounding comfort he feels at knowing that there's at least one person on his side. One person that is willing to trudge through the mud with him, regardless of how often they complain.

Because whatever happens to him happens to you, you insist. So if he has to deal with a hundred fangirls, then so do you. 

He plows on, airing out his struggles and frustrations with his newfound attention. “They’re always staring at us, making the whole thing uncomfortable when we’re just hanging out. (Y/N) even told me she once got cornered in the girls’ bathroom during lunch.”

Oikawa gasps, always enthralled with any juicy gossip, especially on the rare occasion that it involves you— his beloved, headstrong, annoying other best friend. “What did they say?”

“Some weird shit about staying away from me, like I was their property.”

“And what did (y/n) say?”

Iwaizumi laughs, a genuine one that has been missing since this whole ordeal began. He turns to look at his friends, the smile reaching his eyes and pushing upwards on his cheeks. If they weren’t sure of their plan before, the happiness on his face was enough of a push to solidify it. The happiness that only someone specific can bring out. “It's (Y/N). What do you think she said?”

Oikawa, all too familiar with your personality and deviance from the norm since age ten, huffs out a laugh, “Hmm, let me guess, something about doing whatever she wants with whoever she wants.” 

“No, actually, she—” 

You’re washing your hands in the sink of the bathroom when you hear a cough from behind you. Looking upwards into the mirror, you are suddenly confronted with the reflection of six girls circling around you.

A groan tumbles out of your mouth. You knew something like this was bound to happen, jealousy always emerging victorious whenever girls were thirsting after a young man. You just didn’t think it would be happening so soon, only two months into the fanatic obsession with your best friend. It’s your fault really, you should’ve prepared for a moment like this to come. But as they all shoot daggers into your reflection you can’t help but recognize how woefully dreadful this is.  

You'd kill Hajime for inadvertently getting you into this if he wasn’t already feeling so guilty about it. 

Each one stares at you with an intense fury, and while you’ve never considered yourself to be much of a fighter, you’re mentally preparing yourself to throw a couple of punches in this cramped bathroom. You won’t win, six against one is hardly a story of triumph, but you’ll be damned if you get intimidated by this raging group of hormones. 

The faucet stops, with almost impeccable comedic timing, and a silence emanates throughout the area. It's awkward, painfully so and their silent stares are not helping.

“Uh… Can I help you?”

The one in the middle (the leader, you assume) stands with a hip jutted out and her arms crossed. You’ve seen her in passing before. Her eyes narrow at your question, “So, are you two dating?”

You have to force yourself to not roll your eyes. Of course this is where this was going. Because God forbid anyone have friends of the opposite gender. Indicator number one that the interest of these girls was superficial, considering if they even really had been interested in more than the prospect of having access to Iwaizumi’s body, they would’ve realized that you’ve been in his life for a lot longer than he’s had any redeeming qualities— including those rocking arms of his. 

You won't entertain this, something you’ve been adamant about even if Hajime has insisted you don’t , especially not when it's causing Iwa all this grief that you’ve had to comfort him through time and time again. 

“Who’s asking?” You all but bark back, patience wearing thin.

The one to the right of the leader— Pigtails, you’ve taken to calling her— scoffs and stomps her foot, “We are, obviously!”

Patience is below the ground now.

The left one, the one with pink hair, speaks this time, “Iwaizumi won’t even talk to us for more than a minute but he lets you hang around! So, if you’re not dating you have to tell us!”

“Why?”

“So that you can help us get closer to him!”

“Yeah, no.” you respond curtly, feeling rather nauseous at the lengths in which these girls are going just to get his attention. Cornering his friend and doing a piss-poor job at intimidating them into coercing them for information about him. No wonder Hajime's been feeling so depressed. 

Taking the piss out of him used to be fun, something you and Pikawa could share profound pleasure in, but now that it's at your front door and reeking of death, you’re quickly realizing just how much you owe that spiky haired idiot. 

You grab your bag that lay at your feet, turning to face the six girls with a mirthless smile despite the hatred burning in their eyes.

“Good luck with… whatever it is you’re trying to do.”

You’re almost out the door when the leader, who has puffed out her chest and taken a step forward  blurts out, “If you’re not going to help us, then you better stay out of our way.”

There are few people in this world that you’ve dreamt about punching. Oikawa has made the list a couple times, but that’s only when he’s being particularly obnoxious. Iwaizumi has too, usually when his hard headedness has conflicted with yours, but even then the situation is usually better within the next hour. 

But this girl, oh this girl, she has made the top of your list in record time. And you highly doubt she’s coming off of it anytime soon. And now that you’ve gotten a good look at her, you’re starting to remember exactly where you’ve seen her before.

You raise an eyebrow at her intimidation, “Or what?” 

(You have to pat your back for that one because you really sound like the scary third year you’ve always dreamt of being.)

She doesn’t falter in her misplaced confidence, a smile pulling at her lips, “If he’s not yours, then he’ll be one of ours soon enough. And I can promise you, every boyfriend I've ever had always dropped his girl best friends when I asked.”

“Uh huh,” you glance at your watch that shows there are only fifteen minutes left in lunch. Might as well start on your meal now.

You pull the backpack slung over your shoulder in front of you, unzipping the large pocket and pulling out a familiar container. The girls gasp when they see it. 

It's pink and has a little cat design on the front of it. Very cute and very distinct. You pop open the top, grabbing the milk bread that lies inside with your left hand and holding the lid and the box with your right. The lid is tilted forward, granting all the girls clear viewing of the cursive ink that lies on it.

The name is clear and the handwriting incredibly recognizable. The leader’s mouth gapes open.

You take a bite out of the treat, a dramatic moan escaping your mouth. You point at the girl, “Mm. You made this right?”

She doesn’t answer. None of them do. They only stare with wide eyes.

“I remember seeing you give this to Iwa this morning. It’s really good. He's not a big fan of milk bread, so he’s been giving them to me but I’ve enjoyed every single one of them! Although I am getting tired of eating the same thing over and over. So, if you’re taking suggestions, try Agedashi Dōfu. It's Iwa’s favorite.”

You lick your lips to make the point clearer. A gentle reminder of your place and their lack of one in his life. They seem to get it.

“Right then. Bye ladies! This was fun! I’m sure Hajime will be thrilled to hear all about it.”

Iwaizumi finishes recounting the story with a childlike wonder, meeting the furrowed brows and agape mouths of his friends with a joyous smile. There’s an unmistakable twinkle of affection in his eyes, one that he must not even realize is there. But it's noticeable, and his friends recognize it.

It's the same look he always gets whenever he talks about you. 

It was mean of you to humiliate those girls like that, he knows, but his smile when recounting the tale is more than indicative of his true feelings behind the action. He briefly lectured you about it after you told him, insisting that it was important to be nice to these poor girls who didn’t know any better, that you begrudgingly agreed to, but he thinks about it often. Thinks about it at practice, in the middle of class, and every time he sees you.

He didn’t know how he felt about it, but from the way it warmed his cheeks and filled his chest with a weird lightness, he knew he was ultimately appreciative of the action. Honored that you would stick up for him unapologetically and protect him from unassuming teenage girls.

It shouldn’t be much of a surprise. Were the roles reversed he would do the same for you in a heartbeat. But still, he thinks about it. A lot.

“I haven’t seen those girls since, but I have been getting a lot more Agedashi Dōfu, so I guess that’s a plus.” He shrugs his shoulders in nonchalance returning back to the contents of his locker but the remnants of a smile plays on his lips. 

“Well, how ‘bout that?” Oikawa coos. He steps closer to Iwa, placing his hands on the ace’s shoulders and giving them a good natured shake. 

“I think I have the perfect solution to your problem, Iwa-chan.”

**

“You want me chu do wha?” you ask, mouth full of milk bread as the boy in front of you conveniently avoids your eye contact. 

It's the seventh container he’s handed you this week, and while your little incident has quickly diminished the amount he usually receives, there are still the occasional stray containers with the sweet that he instinctively hands to you. 

This time it came in a purple container. No outlandish designs or stickers like the other ones, but there is a written poem on the top comparing his eyes to the dirt of the Miyagi mountains. You suppose that’s romantic, but your leniency only goes so far. Particularly when this poem has no clear rhyming pattern. 

You’ve long since passed the point of guilt for eating all of the treats that were clearly not meant for you. Hajime was much too conflicted with the gifts to even consider smelling them, so it serves as a solution to the problem to just give it to you. He doesn’t have to worry about maliciously taking advantage of these girls and you get food. 

Win-win.

And while you’re not that into milk bread (having eaten it almost everyday for the past couple of weeks), your consumption of it seems to give him some peace of mind. Out of sight, out of mind kind of thing. And really, that’s all you’ve ever wanted for him.

But this is going too far.

Swallowing the last piece of milk bread, you look up at the idiot from your place on the bench. He stands in front of you, hands shoved deep into his pockets and shuffling from foot to foot. 

“You’re joking, right?”

This is a joke. It has to be. There’s no way the world would be this cruel to you.

His eyes remain averted, his thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of his nose as if it would wake him up from this endless nightmare, “Look, it’ll only be until I can get these girls to back off of me a little.”

“No.”

“Wha— (Y/N).” He breathes out, a twinge of desperation and pleading seeping into his voice as he finally looks into your eyes. He doesn’t know what he expects to see, but the pure and unadulterated seriousness is not one of them. He’s almost convinced to drop the subject altogether. Almost.

“Whose idea was this?” You practically growl out, closing the container and cleaning your surrounding area of any stray crumbs. You thrust your hand outward, shoving the container his way. He takes it from you without question.

“Does it matter?”

“Whose?”

“...Oikawa.”

Of course it was. “I’m gonna kill him.”

“(Y/N),” he says your name more forcefully. It’s the same tone he uses with Oikawa when he’s being whiny. It's enough of a bite to have you stop rearranging your items for a brief moment, meeting his determined gaze with one of your own. He stares intently, eyes unwavering in their silent plea to make you understand.

That’s the worst part about it. He’s serious, and he’s confident that this is the only way to solve the problem that’s been plaguing him for the past three months. 

If there's one thing you know about Iwaizumi Hajime, it’s that he’ll solve any problem on his plate and won’t stop until it's fixed. He’s responsible to a fault, refusing to burden others unless absolutely necessary. The fact that he’s viewing this to be the only solution and actually trying to persuade you is indicative enough of how desperate he is. 

Even more so indicative of how truly fucked you are, considering you’ve already made a decision before he even explains further.

Damn him and that hard head of his. 

Damn Oikawa for knowing what he does and still dragging you into this mess. No doubt he was thoroughly enjoying this.

“Will you please be my girlfriend?”

Damn that student council and their stupid fundraiser for getting Iwaizumi Hajime, the boy you’ve been best friends with since you were ten and had a crush on since you were thirteen, to ask you to be his fake girlfriend in order to thwart off hordes of fangirls. 

Damn you for already having an answer before you can even think twice.

Iwaizumi Hajime was hand sculpted by the gods, and they were all laughing at your expense now. 

end notes: whoop there it is. let me know what you all think! should i keep going? should i say fuck a degree and major in iwazumi hajime? idk man im about to.

[maranull]

you make total sense, no worries! its just a theory ive seen and been toying with so its definitely not filled out enough for me to consider it wholly credible, so much as theres just enough for it to be interesting

as for how melina exists if shes the GEQs daughter, i think that can lie in how melina is burned and bodyless. we dont fully know what happens when someone dies in elden ring. their soul is returned to the erdtree and their remembrance hewn into it, and spirits who deny this linger among their ashes and can be summoned back to fight alongside you. we know spirits can retain a degree of sentience, which the puppets are unique in that they lack it. and we dont know what happens to a spirit once it returns to the erdtree. as far as im aware, its within the realm of possibility that the GEQ died but maintained some measure of ability and influence, either within the erdtree itself once her spirit returned to it, or outside it as a roaming spirit, and my thought is that she created melina after her death, leading to melina being bodyless (having been "created" by a mother but not born)

melina specifically mentions spoken echoes of marika and where they linger in spots of her influence, and recites them to us in lieu of a finger maidens normal guidance, in the hopes that marikas words provide us with insight into our quest. her connection to both the GEQ and Marika, alongside her spiritual nature, seems to be enough to allow melina to hear these echoes, and her motivation for reciting them to us is fairly cut and dry as i understand it

the blade of calling is a bit trickier but seems to be standard issue to kindling maidens of anykind, given by an official who seems to be working a bit under the table, doing the dirty work nobody wants to be public. it also seems that regardless of the GEQ and her desires, melina herself doesnt seem to be antagonistic towards marika, so it could be that melina using the golden orders holy magic is a personal choice

there is a lot more solid evidence pointing to melina being marikas daughter, admittedly (especially because the demigods seem to be born in sets of three, but malenia and miquella have no third sibling) but exploring melinas connections to the gloam eyed queen in any capacity is fun

Oh, good. At the end of that post I had almost confused myself. :P

I just find it hard believe that Maliketh and Marika would let the GEQ's spirit unchecked. They had the Rune of Death just taken from her, would they not use it to truly kill her?

I might be wrong, but I think the existence of spirits and Erdtree burials is because Marika separated the Rune of Death from the Elden Ring. Would she allow such a dangerous enemy have a chance at rebirth, or even to just roam as a spirit?

It's just, I'd be more inclined to believe that they let her roam if it was anyone but Marika in command. That woman does not mess around with her enemies.

About Melina being Marika's daughter... Yeah, we have all that you mentioned plus (and this is only if game wikis are being correct in their trivia sections) her name in the game files is "MaricaOfDaughter". So there's that.

But yeah, as much as I personally dislike her, the GEQ is one of the most interesting characters in the world, for sure.

[dbseamz]

The long awaited second half of my first fanfic!

This is the second half (Part 2 of 2) of “Truth and Love Revealed”, my fluffy Rocketshipping confession/first kiss fanfic. The first half worked as a standalone but I wanted to add more, and it turns out I’m a lot better at writing from Jessie’s POV. Or maybe I felt I could flesh it out more because I wasn’t trying to upload it on a Valentine’s Day deadline. Or both.

Side note, if anyone can walk me through how to use Ao3 (particularly the tagging system) I’d love to post both halves together there and reach more readers. I also want to add illustrations at some point.

Here it is:

The distant screech of a Dodrio woke Jessie shortly after sunrise. She kept her eyes closed--if that had been a dream, she didn’t want it to be over. And such a vivid dream, too--she thought she could still feel his arm around her shoulders, heavy and warm under the top of her sleeping bag...

Wait a minute.

Opening her eyes, at first all she could see was James’s sleeping face in front of her. His dark lashes brushed his cheeks, and the little wisp of hair he could never tame hung down, almost touching the pillowlike cushion of his sleeping bag. She could hear the faintest of snores; his mouth was slightly open, each breath making the hair that lay across his cheek flutter. 

For once she let her guard down and allowed herself to fully appreciate just how beautiful he was. It ached, to think of him that way, when she knew her attempts at finding love always went wrong. And that he seemed reluctant, even scared of the idea of dating a girl.

A soft sound interrupted her conflicted state. James was mumbling indistinctly in his sleep, his lips moving slightly before settling as he went quiet again.

His lips...she could still remember what it had felt like to kiss him. No dream of hers had ever been that clear before, or focused on one sequence of events so long instead of dissolving from one scenario to the next. A tiny spark of hope lit in the back of Jessie’s mind in spite of herself. 

And as she stared at his mouth, all soft and relaxed in sleep, she noticed the tiniest smudge of pink on his upper lip. It looked like lip gloss.

Her lip gloss.

It wasn’t a dream! She gasped and barely managed to keep from making some sudden sound that would have awakened James too abruptly, but he must have heard or felt something because the hand on her back moved a bit and his face twitched. The deep, rhythmic breathing faltered as his brilliant green eyes blinked sleepily, then he saw her and his face seemed to light up, those lips curving into a warm smile. “Good morning, Jess.”

She tried to speak and instead produced a sort of high pitched noise like a Pikachu might make if its mouth were covered. Instantly embarrassed, she yanked the corner of her sleeping bag over her head, hearing James trying not to laugh as he sat up.

“What was that for?” he asked, lifting the cloth away from her face. There was no teasing in his expression, just that wonderful soft smile she remembered from last night. When she had peeked through her eyelashes as he described everything he loved about her.

“It wasn’t a dream,” she replied. Half asking.

“Ohhhh...No, no it wasn’t.” He reached down and helped her into a sitting position on top of her sleeping bag, facing him.

“So…” her voice got fainter as she spoke. “Do you really…” Her mouth formed the words love me, silently.

Those gorgeous eyes looked straight into hers. “Yes.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

He met her eyes. Hesitating a bit, as if he too felt that all of this was almost too good to be true, he spoke. “I...I love you, Jessie.”

Tears trickled down her cheeks; she knew it would be clear from her expression that these were happy tears so she said nothing, only watched and listened as he repeated himself. Perhaps he was just as thrilled by the sound of the words as she was.

“Jessica, I love you. I’ve loved you for...so long. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to say this.”

So her faint hopes and guesses had been true? Part of her wanted more proof. 

Another part remembered that tiny pink smudge. 

“Then kiss me.”

He blinked, looking surprised, then smiled. He didn’t say anything aloud, certainly nothing as bold or cliché as I thought you’d never ask, but his face said he really had been hoping, and not quite believing, that she would make such a request. She puckered her lips and leaned a little closer, waiting. At last, he reached for her, one hand gently cupping the back of her head and neck, the other over her shoulder, his palm warming her back. Slowly, carefully, tilting his head just enough not to bump noses, he fitted his lips against hers.

His kiss was no less passionate than hers had been last night, but he was so tender and gentle that it was an altogether different experience. This time, the feeling of warmth didn’t fizz--it flowed, slow and sweet like sugar syrup. She leaned a little closer to him, eyes closed, and felt his silky hair brush her face.

Too soon, he withdrew, the hand that had supported her head brushing lightly against her cheek as he sat up straight again. Jessie blinked, reeling from the overwhelming sensation.

“How was that?” he murmured, his beautiful green eyes shining softly.

She reached for him, clumsily. “More.”

He laughed, sounding delighted, and scooped her onto his lap instead. She was almost as tall as him, so she had to scrunch down to see more than the side of his head. They shifted until he sat cross-legged and she sat sideways in the space between his knees, leaning back against the arm he’d wrapped around her shoulders with her own arm around his.

Lowering her eyelashes but not fully closing her eyes, Jessie tilted her face up, lips slightly parted. James looked at her, grinned, then leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose, startling a giggle from her. He laughed along with her, then kissed her cheek. And her chin. And her other cheek. And her forehead just below the point of her hairline, so light and tickly that she almost forgot that wasn’t what she had asked him for...almost. The laughter in his eyes reminded her.

“Ja-ames,’ she complained with a playful pout.

“Oh, all right,” he said in the same exaggerated tone, trying not to smile and failing. This kiss was just as affectionate, and she returned it eagerly, wrapping her free hand around the back of his head like he’d done for her. Pressed close against him, she could feel the thump of his heart, quick and strong.

A familiar voice cut through the warm haze in her mind. “Were either of yous gonna tell me about this, or was I s’posed ta wake up to you smoochin’ right in front of me?”

James started and pulled away. He and Jessie twisted around to glare at Meowth--or at least Jessie glared. James just looked rather guilty.

“Is there something you want us to tell you?” Jessie asked, more than a little irritated at the interruption.

“Um. No. Wait, yes!” The little feline’s face brightened. “Who confessed first?”

“Uh—”

“Me.” James’s face flushed pink.

“Ha!” crowed Meowth. “Wobbuffet owes me!”

They had bets on us?! Jessie made to move, but James squeezed her shoulder, urging her with his eyes to relax. She sighed and stayed put, but couldn’t resist saying, “Just so you know, fuzz head, I kissed him first. In case that evens your wager.”

She could feel James laughing silently as Meowth sputtered angrily and stopped digging in their bags for Wobbuffet’s Pokeball. “Hmph. At least I can tell ‘im I found out your secret first.” That thought seemed to cheer him, and he chortled to himself as he began packing away their small camp.

James must have recognized that Jessie was still annoyed, and seemed to be trying to distract her. He stroked her cheek lightly, and in spite of herself she leaned into it, squinting her eyes shut, savoring the gentle touch. He chuckled.

“What?”

Inclining his head toward Meowth, James replied, “I’ve seen him make the same face when someone pets him.” The amusement in his voice faded into mild curiosity as she moved her head slightly to stay in contact with his hand. “You’re touch-starved, aren’t you?”

“Mnph.” It made her sound vulnerable, put that way. And yet there was a part of her that did crave the simple feeling of contact, from the firm, reassuring pressure of his hugs to the delicate brush of his fingertips on her bare skin. It was hard to tell whether or not that came from her feelings for James specifically, but maybe he was right.

He had withdrawn his hand, looking concerned. “I didn’t mean you should stop,” she muttered, half reaching for his hand before he rested it on her cheek again.

That got even more of a laugh. “Just like Meowth.”

“Tell her all my embarrassin’ feline habits, why don’t you?” came the complaint.

“Says the cat who wouldn’t shut up about discovering our secret, when we weren’t even trying to keep it a secret. And besides, I know about ‘em al...ready…” Jessie would have said more, but James had started tracing her hairline with the tip of one finger, then sliding the side of his hand along her jaw. It tickled but in a very good way.

Delicious shivers ran up and down her spine, multiplying as he traced the curve of her ear. Her eyelids fluttered, and she felt as if she were melting into his arms. Maybe it wasn’t just touch she had “starved” for, she realized. Maybe it was affection, or the feeling that someone else cared deeply about her and found genuine joy in knowing she was happy. When James switched from caressing her face to running his hands through her long hair, Jessie let out a contented sigh and buried her face in the side of his neck.

In stories, the love interests always smelled like some poetic and improbable combination of scents. All Jessie could smell with her nose just above his jacket collar and his hair tickling her closed eyelids was a slight hint of sweat, too faint to be unpleasant, and something else, something sweet and distinctly floral…

She inhaled slowly. Roses. Of course. Either he used some sort of scented shampoo or the aroma of the flowers themselves lingered in his hair. Maybe both.

“Jess?”

She lifted her head to smile up at him. “I love you, James.” 

He cuddled her close. “I love you too.”

They sat like that a while longer, until James broke the silence again.

“So,” he said, sounding suddenly shy. “Will you...will you be my—”

“Your girlfriend?” she asked with the same hesitancy, hardly daring to believe what was happening.

He squeezed her shoulder gently. “I was going to say ‘my sweetheart’, but sure.”

“Oh—” 

Her throat was too tight to answer him. She nodded vigorously, hair bouncing behind her, and leaned in to kiss him but found that she couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Instead she nuzzled his cheek with her nose and hugged him tighter and was finally able to whisper, right in his ear: “Yes.” She swallowed hard, not wanting to cry again. “Yes, I’ll be your sweetheart.”

If he had been standing up, she suspected, James probably would have lifted her off her feet and spun her around, so happy he looked—and then sounded, as he replied; “Then I’ll be yours.”

They had things to do, surely. Traps to set, plans to make. Meowth was already grumbling somewhere nearby about “love-boids wasting time”. But it could all wait, Jessie reasoned, if it meant she could stay in her sweetheart’s arms just a little longer.

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

[marukrawler]

bakugan liveblogging episode 32 because i’ve been putting it off for so long and i need ANSWERS

- oh we’re off to a great start already :I

- if this episode SOMEHOW makes me ship dan and runo im gonna be pissed lmaooo

- on the flip side. . .i get to listen to tigress for a whole episode eyy.

- lars lion shut the fuck up, give her a different lesson

- IM GONNA BE PISSED REGARDLESS I SEE

- WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT I HATE IT

- only way i could not hate this is if it was julie they were talking about but its not so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- baby runo is like “i dont wanna go outside and play bc i got no friends” and im like. mood.

- you know, a possible lesson for runo could be that she has a hard time making friends because she’s quick to anger?? i know that’s not what’s happening right now but like. im just putting it out there.

- ok damn i take it back LARS LION COME GET UR NEW LESSON ITS CRITICALLY RELEVANT

- so you’re saying that dan played in the park of runo’s town (1) time in his life and then never came back?? unless dan lived in the same area and moved right after

- runo fr about to throw hands w a toddler

- he’s a kid holy shit

- i don’t like where this is going

- love how she gives an actual description for julie but the others? my guy friends whomst?

- lars lion: my otp cannot be split by julie >:(

- i literally can’t believe this is actually what the episode is about

- did u forget this is a trial

- im crying he just beat you at baseball and called you a sore loser, not even maliciously. why is this such a huge fucking deal

- hE’S A BABY OH MY GOD

- but then again, im inclined to believe that dan’s typical fight strategy is not unlike one a toddler would use so

- that’s news to me

- this is the point where runo should just show her the middle finger tbh

- i feel like they should’ve had dan as a 12 yr old fight against runo because that would’ve been significantly less awkward

- so apparently, lars lion and tigress are both thinking that runo is acting impulsively. runo says its because she’s always wanted to beat dan and honestly, i believe her (she challenged dan to a brawl when she first ran into him in ep 5 after all??) so idk why tf tigress is like “is that really it, my lady?” y’all are making no sense to me.

- if this was a lesson about runo hiding her vulnerability behind anger and a false confidence, i would agree that not being honest with herself is only going to hurt her in the future. but if it’s some specific dumb fucking reason like “you need to be honest about how you feel about dan uwu” then no.

- i have to give a shoutout to crow for serving us looks we didn’t even ask for

- also how is this fighting dan when this kid has just been using nullifying abilities to take down runo. the real dan would never be this smart

- the fact that runo had 0 wins but then immediately won 2 battles in succession within 20 seconds is. wild. it wasn’t even a good battle strategy, she just used her gate cards and somehow didn’t get countered (idk maybe dan used up all the abilities for his bakugan idk the rules like that)

- where did the colors go

- you’re gonna lose the battle for sure now runo lmaoooo

- these ppl are really like “be honest w yourself uwu” and if i was runo, i’d be so confused??? at least give her a hint????

- tigress: i can’t beat the shit out of you without coming closer

- how do you not only forget this happened but like. knowing this now has such an impact on you???? “damn dan asked me to play with him after he beat me and he remembered my name, maybe i won’t kill him after all”

- in all fairness, it was not only incredibly specific but also really fucking stupid

- WHY ARE THESE THE IMAGES CHOSEN, THIS IS THE WORST WAY TO SELL A SHIP, I HATE THIS EVEN MORE NOW

- if anything, this just jolted MY memory and made me remember how bad these two are for each other romantically. wow

- YOU DIDN’T EVEN LIST ANY GOOD QUALITIES??? YOU LOVE DAN BEING THIS MUCH OF A PIECE OF SHIT TO YOU?? WOWW

- HOW AM I PREFERRING THE ENG DUB’S “WE’RE FRIENDS FOREVER DAN” VERSION MORE, I HATE IT HERE

- also why is she floating

- i have no words

- i knew this would happen and im still not

- woww

- YOU FORCED THIS TO HAPPEN??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘IT CAN’T BE’ YOU DUMB BITCH

- ok that’s kinda excessive lmao

- bitch you know you don’t give af about the friends, you were steering her AWAY from the friends to begin with

- im so bitter lmao nobody’s otp but lars lion’s is canon, we can all go home

- omgg shut up i hate this episode

- can’t believe runo having no friends or social skills let her to fall for kid dan because he was nice to her and remembered her name, he literally has no other redeeming qualities than being nice to her (1) time every time they meet and its wild that this was runo’s lesson, they were really scrambling for literally anything to use for the girl trials and IT SHOWS.

[smutty-ki113r]

Hiya! I saw your blog and was interested in asking for a romantic matchup! You can involve nsfw if you would like.

My name is Ronan, my nickname is Ro, my most used pronouns are she/her/he/him. My sexuality is demi-sexual meaning I don’t get sexual attractions to people unless I have formed a strong emotional connection with said person. My zodiac is Scorpio (that’s pretty much all I know about that lmao) also my personality is ISTP-T

Starting with my mental trash I have a VERY low self esteem. I never liked the way I look and probably never will. I suffer from chronic depression that’s pretty much taken over my life. I have a very hard time with social cues and can come off as an asshole most of the time and I’m extremely blunt. People tend to think I’m cute since I’m fairly small; I’m a 5’3 Nordic female with thicker thighs. I am absolutely OBSESSED with The Legend of Zelda franchise, it’s been apart of my life for as long as I can remember. I’m pretty musical; I play bass, drums, and sing. I also voice act so that’s really fun. Not gonna lie I say I have a huge ego but really I just hate everyone. Having depression I mostly lock myself in my room and work on my art.

How I look: I have black/brown hair in a boy cut. I have big round hazel eyes, my face is round with slightly chubby cheeks and freckles. I want to get my lip pierced but sadly have not gotten to that yet.. My fashion sense is kinda everywhere but I typically go for the cottage core aesthetic. I love muted nature ish colors, I think they look so pretty. I love to go on long walks and sit alone at my local park. I find being alone outside very calming. When I’m not outside or in my room I’m mostly playing video games with my friends and kicking their ass. Believe it or not I used to do boxing but now I just lift weights and workout some. I have a long history of physical illnesses that really render my body kinda useless so I always try to strengthen myself up however I can. I spent most of my childhood in the hospital due to these illnesses. I have been homeschooled my whole school years but I taught myself German, Japanese, and computer science. I actually have a job around it. I’m terrible at explaining my feelings and asking for help so telling people I love them is a huge chore for me. A lot of the time you can find me alone singing to myself with my eyes closed daydreaming.

I love to read. My friends say I’m really boring but whatever. OH I’ve always wanted to be a DJ. I know its a really weird dream but it just looks so cool. Nobody ever expects the sick quiet girl to want to be a DJ. Speaking of shy I’m a huge introvert if you couldn’t figure that out already. I’m extremely shy, don’t talk to me I’ll run away or you’ll be enveloped in my Zelda talk. I have amazingly crazy music taste (according to my mom) I listen to mostly heavy metal and Corpse Husband.

NSFW: Huge HUGE brat. You want me to do something? Yeah fuck you. I’m a huge sub you can pretty much do anything to me. I have a big daddy kink like please let me call you daddy UGH. Also praise but degrade me at the same time? Please thanks. I’m also a pillow princess. Um um ddlg yes thanks.

I match you with…..💖BEN_DROWNED💖

NSFW bellow~

OK OK I KNOW I KNOW, DON’T @ me for picking Benny boy for you Ro. I just think it’s the right fit. Let me start off with the whole depression thing, BEN relates to locking himself in his room and hyperfixating on something. At least you’ll have a gaming buddy to get you through it. Plus, he’s a very competitive guy. Get him to not cheat and you will have fun for hours. Not to mention you sound a bit like Jeff in the way that you can come off as rude. BEN and Jeff are pretty good friends, so you’ll make a wonderful partner for BEN.

Voice acting? BEN will love that, he’ll try to get you to do different characters from his video games or even anime characters. He loves your chubby cheeks, likes to squish them and make them puckered and then give you kisses. It’s quite adorable. Zelda talk? Yeah you don’t need to worry about him running off about that.

BEN will be obsessed with the cottage core, probably likes those little white flowy dresses. Maybe one day wear those elf ears and surprise him, I think he’d think it’s cute. You should definetly do his makeup, put that holographic glitter on his cheeks and some hair clips in his hair- maybe a skirt if he feels up to it.

BEN is very understanding about your illnesses, in fact he would be super impressed that you even lift weights. And is so so supportive about you wanting to be a DJ. He gets excited and calls over Jeff to show him. He’s not very shy about saying I love you, maybe the first time but after it’s constant affection.

For the smut! He can get rough sometimes, loves the daddy kink. He’s the type to soak all that up like a sponge. Praises you for taking his cock so well but will call you pathetic for making those noises. Probably wants you to wrap your thighs around his head and suck your clit for hours, he likes to feel you cum.

Ok Ok I hope you enjoyed that! I love how you have a big ego and then- low self esteem, sounds like me. I literally hate myself so much and then… holy shit I’m the hottest person alive. I know what depression is like, those thoughts just wrap around your throat and choke the life out of you, and it’s not even fast. It’s every day just heavier and heavier, dragging you down and making you feel horrible. I mostly lock myself in my room too, but writing helps me through it. I love love love your hair, boy cuts are so cool. And get that lip piercing! IT WOULD LOOK AWESOME. I love that you’re talented in music, I wish I was musically inclined. Scorpios are so cool, like I said, my best friend is one and so I LOVE YOU GUYS.

I am so incredibly proud of you, homeschool and then the illness stuff must be so hard but you are so strong for going through it. You don’t deserve it but sometimes life works that way. It’s ok to be shy and introverted. For the record, I think you would make an awesome DJ. DO it, I believe in you, so should you. I mean we all have our passions, work hard enough and I promise you’ll get there. I used to write a lot about my feelings and nobody ever read it, but I continued and look where I am now! Im so proud of myself for having this account, and you for being ALIVE. Thats all you need to do, you don’t need to be cool, or popular or skinny to be an amazing person.

Ro, I swear you are an awesome person. I can clearly see it, and I promise one day you’ll look in the mirror and think the same. If your friends say you’re boring they aren’t your friends. They sort of suck because reading is so cool. Without readers I couldn’t be a writer now could I? I believe in you. I know you can do it. Lifting weights is so badass I couldn’t even- I can barely do 5 pound weights man. Ya know I believe that the people who go through the most pain and sadness are the ones who will be the happiest in the end. The universe has to give us back what we lost, there is balance in everything and pain is only temporary. Everything is temporary. So I promise it’ll be ok man, and hey, you’re valid. I see you ro, and I know that you’ll make great places someday.

[nastyburger]

What are your thoughts on Cores? Are they all a type of element? (i.e Ice, Fire, Plant, Electric, etc) Could they be based one some kind of temperature slider? What kind of core would the Lunch Lady have? Would she have a simple hot/fire Core? Or would she have a sort of strange “Meat” Core? Idk I’m asking you

i love the concept of cores! i like to think cores are like the ghost’s mind and heart (but rolled into one and put in their chest) with the “mind” half being their obsession and the “heart” half being their element. i like to think theyre all elemental like fire ice and all that! i feel a core merely fuels the ghost, and the element is just a minor detail dictating certain features (do they feel more hot or cold to the touch? is their image slightly more fuzzed out like fire or pulsing with electricity? are they more rigid yet see through like ice? ect. though these traits are hard to see unless your looking really closely or have a good eye like frostbite taking one look at danny and knowing he has an ice core). like its more how the ghost is comprised/holding its ectoplasm together so i dont believe it dictates what their literal powers are.

hmmmmm think about it like atla nations! like sokka is very clearly water tribe with his clothes, culture, weapons, and natural inclination to the cold but that doesnt mean he’s a waterbender. i think about cores like that basically if that makes any sense! a good example of core not equaling power would be ember, she would have a fire core but her powers is clearly based on sound and music despite the aesthetic! which brings us to our next point..........

im very inclined to the idea that obsessions are wrapped up along in the core. its essentially the gas tank to the whole operation. the more a ghost indulges their obsession the more powerful they become and this is where their true power comes from. the actual elemental part is just the outer shell glue holding everything together and only particularly powerful ghosts, ghosts fortunate enough to have their element and obsession align, or ones simply smart enough to figure out how to tap in would learn their element and use it outwardly.

lets use danny as an example of “a powerful ghost using his core”, danny’s power was building so much that he physically felt freezing no what temperature it was or how much he bundled up. even in ghost form he was constantly shivering. danny’s core was literally freezing him from the inside out and needed to release the excess energy, he had no choice but to learn how to do this and just use ice powers. on the other hand though, this means he can use his ice powers far more frequently and exclusively as his main mode of attack if he wanted to. basically ghosts in this category have no choice but to use their elemental core lest they become a ticking time bomb of repression to themselves (i also like to believe tapping into ones core is very difficult to do hence danny needing to be taught instead of like accidentally releasing it or something, many ghosts born with the POTENTIAL to have this really powerful core ability often cease to exist because it destroys themselves from the inside out. thats why theres not many of them). other examples of this category would be frostbite and undergrowth.

contenders for the “fortunate enough to have their element and obsession align” would be technus. electricity is probably the most common type of element for this category in all honesty. technus is obsessed with technology, and while i would say most of his powers are “possessing” technology with his basic package of ghost powers theres no denying the dude definitely has some sparks flying. i feel like if your obsession is already close to your element then its only reasonable you stumble upon a natural way to use it. but heres the key difference between a ghost like technus and a ghost like danny: if technus can use electricity all the time then why bother possessing electronics? simple answer is thats just not sustainable. danny is literally overfilling with energy, he has so much excess its spilling over and will literally kill him if he doesnt blast off a couple of ice beams here and there. technus is pulling energy from his core, its not excess, hes just tapping into this extra reservoir of power, but if he uses it TOO much he will have the exact opposite problem of danny. basically expending too much of your own battery that you die from lack of power. unless you are the first category of ghosts, tapping into your core at all should be used sparingly.

“simply smart enough to figure out how to tap into their core” would be ghosts like ember and skulker. a musician pop star would have nothing to do with fire, likewise a hunter with electricity, but these two are able to minorly use their element abilities. “smart” probably isnt the right word to use here, but more or less for one reason or another, these ghosts figured it out and are now using their cores. thats basically all there is to it. though i will say, having a core strong enough in general to have power to tap into in the first place is another deciding factor for all three of these categories. with that, lets move on to the last set of ghosts.

going aaaaaaaall the way back to your original question of whether or not a ghost like the lunch lady would have a “meat core” or something like that, the final group of ghost are ones that simply dont use their elemental core at all. they instead lean into their obsessions. ghosts in this category can be here for a number of reasons, perhaps the shell of their core is very minor and weak and they cant use that elemental power no matter how hard they try, perhaps theyre so focused on their obsession they may not even need their elemental, perhaps they just simply cant learn how to tap into their core at all because they dont have enough sentience.

i would say the lunch lady and the box ghost are the “too weak to use their elements” ghosts, but that doesnt mean they are powerless! i like to think all ghosts have a “basic package of ghost powers” with levitation/telekinesis being one of them, the only difference among the ghosts is how their obsessions dictate their natural affinity towards certain things. so while the lunch lady doesnt LITERALLY have a meat core, her obsession gives her the natural inclination towards food and meat. she can control these things with the most accuracy and power, it allows her to do things like making the meat suit and whatnot, its just what she’s best at controlling. regardless, these ghosts can never learn how to use their elemental core but thats okay. their obsessions is just a different path to take. speaking of which........

“so focused on their obsession they dont even need their elemental core” is clockwork. hes just so powerful on his own, why would he need to use that? does he even have an elemental core to control? who knows and who cares because the dude can LITERALLY CONTROL TIME. another example would be desiree, maybe even the ghost writer. these guys already gain so much power from their obsession it doesnt matter whether or not they have the ability to use them or not. thats sorta the beauty in this category! because you know who else can fit in here? TUE box ghost. thats right, just because your elemental core is too weak to tap into doesn’t mean youre weak. in the ultimate enemy, the future box ghost is genuinely powerful. his abilities to control boxes extend beyond just levitating and throwing them around, he can make these pink plasma boxes and hes a genuine threat to behold. he leaned into his obsession and it developed enough to this point of power. again, loop this back to the atla comparison i was making earlier, just because someone is a nonbender doesnt make them weak! those nonbenders lean into learning different skill sets until mastery and become very formidable foes. just because youre not born with it doesn’t mean you cant git gud. on the other hand......

the very last kind of ghosts are the “cant learn how to use their core because theyre not sentient/intelligent enough”. these are ghosts like the blob ghosts, ectopusses, maybe even cujo and other animal ghosts if we’re being honest. using your core doesnt come naturally, it needs to be taught and learned, you have to actually train to use it. so in cases like these ghosts, they just dont have the thought process to do this. hell, some of them like the blobbies may not even have fully formed obsessions. their more scribbles, raw ideas, pure emotion giving sentience to ectoplasm. with cujo (assuming he has an elemental shell strong enough), you could argue that you can train him to use his core like its a dog trick, but in all honesty this would be very very difficult to do and whether or not cujo can use it on his own is debatable.

[lavellander]

more bc i am unstoppable now

I Am Thinking About My DA Protagonists’ Taste In Romantic Partners both their “usual” type and why they’re drawn to their canon love interest (and the hypothetical ones from other games). i expect no one to give a shit abt this except me lsdfjd but im on a roll and its a good exercise or whatever. i’m sure i’ll use it eventually?????

once again. i know no one gives a fuck but if anyone DOES happen to want to torture themselves and read this pls know all my ocs are bi except zaniyah, who is a lesbian<3

sarenan: 

general disclaimer that “in the circle love is just a game” etc etc etc so while she definitely is more inclined to romantic relationships, she only really had friends w benefits at most

she likes smart people! she likes fun people, she likes people who can get on board with her fucked up sense of humor. she’s witty and charming and loves to flirt just to flirt, and in the circle that wasn’t much of an issue lol. leliana is the first person she ever feels like...foot-in-mouth around, bc suddenly she likes and is attracted to someone and...that’s allowed? it’s all very foreign to her but she falls Real Hard, Real Fast

in a hypothetical da2 romance obviously isabela is extremely hot but also sarenan canonically has a foursome w her, leli, and zev so dLFKKDS it makes sense that bela’s the love interest of choice<3 (but also i think it would be like...friends-to-friends with benefits-to-lovers lol)

in a hypothetical dai romance once again josie is very hot and also so sweet and cute and delightful !!!!! idk if its just me but i see similarities bw origins leli and josie so again it just makes sense to me that josie is the LI for an inq romance :’)

(BUT for the most part. it is pretty hard for me to imagine sarenan w anyone but leli, bc they are the only couple i have that like. makes sense. lmfao)

maeve: 

actually doesnt often have romantic relationships? she has ~flings~ and rarely catches feelings. she describes her type as “anyone sexy” 

(her and isabela do in fact have a brief Thing but strictly no strings attached; this is bc i was very very adamant about romancing isabela when i played da2 and then anders fucking SNIPED me. so i incorporated it into canon i guess. lmao)

her attraction to anders is originally just “sexy tortured man” and then “sexy tortured man that gives free healthcare to poor people!!!!” and then - after it’s clear it won’t be a fwb situation - she realizes she has Actual feelings for him and is like well. its been a good run. guess i’ll die! until he reciprocates dflksdjf then they are kirkwall’s weirdest couple to everyone except themselves :’)

in a hypothetical dao romance her and zev would be classic fuckbuddies who accidentally start having a crush on each other, absolutely refuse to acknowledge it, then someone else in the friend group is like “oh my god PLEASE just kiss we are all going insane watching yall do this” <3

in a hypothetical dai romance im still torn bw sera and bull. maeve would just keep hitting on sera until sera did something about it; bull would be similar to zevran in the fuckbuddies-accidentally-caught-feelings dynamic

alani:

i feel like (depending on the size of the clan etc) alani was prob mostly involved w people she’d known almost all her life. she’s obviously attracted to other ppl who like to learn and stuff, but other than that it’s equal opportunity crushes ykwim. she doesn’t even Know she has a thing about people who are like. puzzles to be solved until solas lol

in a hypothetical dao romance she’d be drawn to alistair bc...who wouldnt be. hes adorable. they’re both warm friendly charming sunshines and i think it’d be natural for them to be drawn to one another. once she realizes he has Baggage she’s like oh. OH. i have to defend you against the world now

in a hypothetical da2 romance i thiiink it would be kinda similar to solas. like oh this bitch has a lot of emotional walls up, he’s got some real shit going on. I Like That. also mage rights, hes a sad sexy doctor, we love a revolutionary, etc. it makes sense imo

zaniyah:

similar to maeve i think she’s more of a fling person than a relationship person, but she has had a couple gfs. she’s not very comfy being super serious but she’s a good gf and is very devoted. generally speaking i think she just likes Hot Ladies but is esp drawn to quirky / weird ppl lol

in a hypothetical dao romance she’d like morrigan bc 1) she’s hot and 2) she’s standoffish lol. she’d take it upon herself to get morrigan to like her as like, a personal triumph, but then along the way realize she has a real crush on her and be like shit? fuck? (the same goes for morg. it would be an oh shit oh fuck moment on both ends)

in a hypothetical da2 romance i think her and merrill would be more like friends to lovers :’) zaniyahs immediately like “youre weird. i like you” also they bond bc dalish etc, and over time she starts liking her more and more. eventually zaniyah just cant take it anymore and kisses merrill, apologizes profusely, etc, and merrill’s like “oh. i thought we were dating?” sldkfjsLDKFJds i care them

(josie is kind of an outlier bc she’s so graceful, collected, knows what to do/say always, etc. i dont believe in love at first sight but if i did thats what zaniyah and josie would be<333)

ranae:

she doesnt like. have a type really. because she’s just been in love w her childhood best friend since forever and doesnt think of what she might like in other ppl bc well. he’s right there? she assumes they’ll be together forever, even if only platonically :( 

when she meets morrigan she’s like oh i like women too apparently. cool?? when she meets alistair shes a little put off by the fact that hes a golden retriever, then clings to him bc Trauma, then VERY begrudgingly realizes she has a crush on him but feels like shes betraying tamlen 

eventually she comes to terms w the fact that like. theres nothing she can do about tamlen unfortunately, and alistair is here and Loves Her and he’s been the only person to make her truly happy in a very long time. it takes a lot for her to think she deserves that, but she does, and the rest is history :’)

in a hypothetical da2 romance it makes perfect sense to me that she’d latch onto the other Elf Who Is Full Of Rage immediately. they are both very intense and it can put other people off sometimes but they dont really care! die mad about it, shem! etc

in a hypothetical dai romance she’d be drawn (platonically) to blackwall bc grey warden stuff, but subconsciously they both kind of feel like frauds, like they dont deserve happiness, etc; theyre both kinda brusque, at least at first, too. she just kinda sees him as a buddy til she watches him bonding w sera or with some kids or something and then shes like  😳 😳 😳 and then angry that shes like that lmao

[leafy-wings]

i actually really agree on a lot of people being hyprocritical when it comes to moral wof judgements! i think due to the nature of wof, people are inherently going to be influenced by their emotions when it comes to discussing it. personally, i'm sort of the opposite of you - i understand darkstalker more than arctic. ofc not all (mostly because he's very as you said comically evil which gives a bit of disconnect) but as someone with a lot of npd traits, i connect a lot to aspects of how he's-

-written, especially struggling with morals and the intensive desire to have prestige/a position of power/respect/etc and the desire to be loved by everyone. i feel i'm also more sympathetic because of how young darkstalker is- arctic is a fully grown adult, while darkstalker is the equivalent of a 15 - 17 year old; he's incredibly toxic, don't get me wrong, and a lot of the situations he's in are more extreme due to the nature of wings of fire being a magical fantasy series-

-but i also feel as though the general theme of struggling with toxic behaviors due to abuse/mental illness is a very relatable thing for a lot of people. i still feel as though darkstalker wasn't a good person, but i think he could have had a better chance Of being if he was in different circumstances. i have a lot of issues with tui's writing of him in general tbh though, i feel as though his story as a whole could have been handled a Lot better

(oh btw same anon! this isn't meant to be like! coming for you/mean or anything, i'm genuinely interested in this topic- i'm not great with tone due to neurodivergency and wanted to clarify since i know i can come off as trying to start arguments/rude when i try to discuss things; also sorry for the massive rant, i'm Very passionate about wof whoops- let me know if you need to drop the conversation! i don't want to stress you out)

dont feel sorry! i do like talking about this and the neurodivergent angle towards characters. its not like i CANT relate to darkstalker; ive been someone who was a toxic child before due to being in an abusive household (hell, im still in the midst of that). i think struggling hard with mental illness that makes me feel obligated to be loved and cherished by those around me due to my talents is actually something i struggle with right now, and part of the reason i actually DONT feel bad for him. because i know its a real world problem i have, im terrified of hurting other people, and i HATE seeing unhealthy toxic behaviors. it makes me feel like im losing my mind, like this is MY problem that IM trying to fix, and YOURE not trying to fix yourself? it feels like a personal insult to me, that a character that has my problems is praised where i am only excluded and isolated. i think its also just personal repression and self consciousness and self hate, like i said before about being abused but identifying with the abuser and hating the abused when we’re more similar; i really, really hate myself for being toxic, and i, in return, hate characters who i relate with. maybe its BAD that i feel like that, that a character who i see myself within is inexcusable because thats how i (knowingly unhealthily) regards myself, but i just prefer to think.. we should all try and be better people, and thats looking at things objectively and coming pros and cons and the weight of peoples crimes and their feelings. i wish it was so easy as mentally ill characters in media being sequestered from their bad situation, and then theyd just get over it. i wish that was me, and i wish that was every character who i see as myself.

i relate to peril in regards to “mental illness but its dragons”. i have very bad bpd that makes me dependent on others but inclined to hurting them by begging for attention, im just prone to violence and rash decisions. i relate to her in that i feel like every relationship i enter will end harshly; it is how i am inclined, how i was born, and how i was raised, to resort to raising my voice and turning my back on others instead of peaceful endings. i dont know why i see peril as different from darkstalker, but id like to figure it out.

i think the difference is that darkstalker doesnt really struggle, to me. from a young child he believed in himself so thoroughly, and he enters every moral argument believing himself to be right. this is understandable, this is realistic; until it happens for the 5th, 10th, 20th time. perhaps hes supposed to show off the sunk cost fallacy or denial, but to me he just shows up as someone who earnestly does not want to improve as a person. it is unfair to those who have been inclined to unhealthy behaviors but tried to improve, because darkstalker does not try, he just gets worse and worse.