#c: kenny ackerman

[scarletskiesinthepaths]

Levi’s Childhood: “Bad Boy”, The Underground, Kuchel, and Kenny—What Are the Implications?

Content Warning: Discussion of rape, sexual abuse, and sex trafficking

“Bad Boy” makes it even more explicitly clear that the Underground was no place for a child. From the “Bad Boy” panels alone, it is evident that Levi likely had constant people preying on him at all times—especially before he awakened his Ackerman powers. All these men Levi encounters here had no issue beating a child to (near) death or selling him into sexual slavery. Similar to the way it is portrayed in the “A Choice with No Regrets” storyline, the Underground is also described by Levi as “hopelessly dirty” with “rotten air”. 

It is significant to note here that Levi was well-known for being a prostitute’s son; all of those men were aware of Levi’s relation to Kuchel, even before Levi himself made it clear. They wanted to traffic him for that reason. In terms of speculation, it is very believable and even highly probable that Levi experienced sexual assault and rape before he awakened. Having grown up in a brothel with his mom, and now further seeing how common sex trafficking in the Underground was and also Levi’s infamy for being a prostitute’s son—there is no doubt that Levi was exposed to extreme levels of sexual violence regularly, whether it be him being witness to it, him experiencing the direct threat of it such as in “Bad Boy,” or him experiencing the actual act. The trauma of this is impossible to overstate. It seems the most likely, however, that Levi has had direct personal experience with the act itself, as men would have likely continued visiting “Olympia” after she died (and before Kenny appeared), and upon discovering she was no longer a viable option to have sex with, some of those men would have set their sights on Levi, who was a helpless child in the process of starving to death. 

The men in “Bad Boy” spoke about Levi as if he was born strictly to live a life of sexual slavery, referring to him as a “whore’s child” and discussing how they’d be able to profit from making him do the same job as his mother, saying he may have “inherited her talents”. Levi had probably heard this sort of language used in his presence before. As such, it would not be surprising if Levi had learned to expect this sort of treatment, as if he was placed in the world solely to suffer. Levi would have sought out a reason for this—why must he constantly be subjected to suffering? Is it because there is something wrong with him? If that’s the case, what specifically is wrong with him? It is important to consider as well that Levi’s entire sense of identity at this point was wrapped up in being the son of a prostitute and being raised by a serial killer, who may or may not have been his father. 

The violence Levi was subjected to in “Bad Boy,” such as having his head repeatedly smashed against the ground with a fist, would have most certainly resulted in his death, or at the very least, permanent brain damage, had Levi’s powers not awakened in that moment. However, what’s notable to me during all of this is the absence of Kenny’s presence. This indicates that Kenny would leave Levi alone in the Underground for significant enough periods of time that Levi still had the opportunity to find himself in situations of extreme danger, situations such that would have resulted in his death. Given what we know about Levi’s childhood from Kenny’s recollection of it in the main series, Kenny would subject Levi to fights against fully grown men in order to develop Levi’s combat skills and likely prompt his awakening. It is also clear in these “Bad Boy” panels that Levi already knew how to fight, given the way he initially tried to protect himself from being beaten by all those men. He was, however, helpless in protecting himself, given the deep disadvantage he had from being a child, as well as being faced against multiple opponents. Levi’s combat skills after his awakening also demonstrated he already had significant training. The responsible thing for an adult in Kenny’s position would have been to, not teach Levi how to fight, but remove him from the environment that necessitated that knowledge in the first place.

Needless to say, this practice was cruel and immensely abusive. The amount of psychological damage and self-worth issues this would undoubtedly cause Levi are immeasurable. It was Kenny’s responsibility to protect Levi’s childhood innocence, but it is because of Kenny’s actions (and inactions) that Levi was placed in a position of having to kill multiple men as a young child. Kenny may have saved Levi from the imminent death of starvation, but his abuse and abandonment ultimately caused Levi more harm than good in the long-run; he taught and exposed Levi to a life of violence. Indeed, Kenny wanted Levi to be a force for violence. That is all he ever modeled for Levi and desired from him, even though he had the capability of sparing Levi from such experiences. However, it speaks to Levi’s innate goodness that he still loved Kenny after all he was made to suffer by him and even forgave Kenny by the end.

The awakening of Levi’s powers demonstrated to Levi the idea that he was an agent of destruction and a monster. Recall back to the moment during the “Uprising” arc when a man accuses Levi of being such and Levi simply responds, “Maybe I am”. Levi’s awakening was described by Levi as a form of dissociation, as if he was not fully aware of what he was doing. Consider his words here: “I didn’t think it was strange that something had happened to me at the time. The pain in my head disappeared and I felt calm, as if my head was submerged in water. And the idea of what to do came to mind. But I just followed the instinct and acted accordingly.” And yet, Levi likely blames himself for the brutality of which he killed his attackers, despite acting in self-defense and having no other recourse. It was an answer to his question: what is wrong with him? He must be a monster. Being forced into such a situation as a child would instill this view in Levi that he was born into his life only to bring suffering to others. That is why he suffers in turn.

This perception of an inner monstrosity in Levi is furthered by what the man in the glasses tells him directly after this: “Stop doing things that will make your mother in heaven sad!” Levi’s impression of Kuchel, his mother, was the one thing that brought him comfort in his life. He remembered her “elegant” posture. With these man’s words, even that one comfort was lost to Levi. Now the thought of his mother would instead be associated with the idea that she would view him as bad—that she would have seen his “murderous” actions and would cast judgment on him. This is completely incorrect, of course. The only reason Levi even awakened his strength was because he was protecting his mom’s image from the cruel words the men were speaking against her. Levi was severely beaten to near death, all because he loved his mom essentially. Think of the tragedy of that; Levi was directly punished for loving someone. This further demonstrates that innate goodness in Levi—how he continues to love and care about others, despite the immense suffering it’s brought him over and over. To further the tragedy of all this, it is evident that Levi still views his mother with fondness, in spite of the belief that she would hate him. Levi purposely seeks out the brothel in which he grew up with her, undoubtedly filled with countless awful and traumatic memories, in order to feel closer to her presence.

After Levi’s awakening, Levi soon after finds himself in yet another fight, and it is this moment that Levi watches as Kenny walks away and abandons him forever. Levi thought Kenny wanted him to become strong. He thought his strength would earn him Kenny’s acceptance, but instead, he was met with his rejection. If Kenny still didn’t love him even after becoming strong, that once again proved to Levi that there was something deeply wrong with him. Similar to the way Levi would come to associate his strength as the thing responsible for making him a “killer” and ruining his mother’s perception of him, Levi would likely form the association that his physical strength led directly to Kenny abandoning him. Moreover, what was the purpose of his strength? Levi did not want to use it to bring suffering to others. 

Levi discovered on his own that his strength could be used to help others—to protect. This is incredibly significant because Levi was literally taught the opposite his whole life: that it made him a monster, that its only purpose was for saving himself and bringing death and destruction—he was taught even that that’s something he should desire. Somehow, despite all that, Levi still found a way to use his strength for the benefit of others. Although, this highlights a further tragedy in Levi. As demonstrated earlier, Levi was taught that it was the normal state of the world, the status quo, for him to be abused; he learned that this treatment of him was, not only happening because it was something he was somehow meant for, but also happening because he was some abnormal monster. Levi desiring to use his strength for others does not negate Levi’s own negative perception of himself. All of the events in Levi’s childhood taught Levi that he had no worth, and that is indeed the way we see Levi treat himself throughout the entire series. 

Levi never once defends himself against people’s cruel words against him. Think back to the way Mikasa said it was Levi’s fault that they had lost Eren in the “Female Titan” arc directly after Levi had lost his entire squad; think of the way Levi accepts Dieter’s words against him and Erwin about being “devoid of humanity” in the aftermath of the Female Titan’s attack; think of how Levi accepts the negative way the people of Trost and the merchants were speaking against him; and as mentioned earlier, think of the way Levi accepts being called a monster during “Uprising”. Levi directly refers to himself as “abnormal” as well during that same arc. There are countless more examples of this. Levi fights during the Battle of Heaven and Earth, despite being grievously injured already. It is because of this that he ultimately ends up in a wheelchair. Levi fights for other people to the complete detriment of himself. That is pure selflessness. Levi treats himself as completely devoid of worth, despite seeing so much worth in others. As such, Levi dedicates everything he has, even if it would result in severe damage to himself; he views himself as expendable. It is clear too that Levi views himself as unclean from all the blood he has on his hands and all the filth he was surrounded by growing up. It was his “dirty” hands after all that killed all those men and led to his mom’s teacup breaking at the end of "Bad Boy"; a sign of his inner badness. 

[scarletskiesinthepaths]

Amazing insights! It’s interesting too because, despite Kenny projecting onto Levi here by coupling Levi’s supposed views with his own, Kenny clearly also recognized a difference between him and Levi.

Kenny's dying words were as follows:

“I wanted power… but… I see… Now I think… I get why [Uri] did something like that. Every last person I’ve seen… was the same way… whether it was booze, women… or even God, family… the King, dreams, children, power…  They couldn’t keep going unless they were drunk on something. They were all slaves to something… even him.”

Attack on Titan Chapter 69 "Friends"

Then, Kenny is the one that essentially points out that Levi doesn’t have any dreams or ambitions of his own, when Kenny asks Levi right after if Levi’s trying to be some sort of “hero”.

Kenny desired power because he believed that was the key to being compassionate, like Uri. In Kenny's view—someone who had all the power would have nothing to worry about, so in essence, they could afford to care about other people. Kenny, of course, did not recognize that it was his pursuit of power at the expense of all else that drove him further away from being a kind and compassionate person. Power was never the key to being a good person. If it was, Kenny would have already been one, given that he was an awakened Ackerman and quite powerful himself.

Kenny did have a good point, however, in that certain circumstances do not afford one the ability to extend care toward others. Growing up in the Underground, all Levi could afford to think about was the daily fight for survival. The extreme disenfranchisement and deprivation of the Underground did not provide the people living there the opportunity to help others. But Levi always had that innate desire in him to do good; this is why we saw him take in Furlan and Isabel and protect them, when it would have been easier not to. Levi understood that his power came with extra responsibility. Being granted power, Levi chose to use it for the betterment of other people—never in pursuit of even more power and never to the benefit of himself.

One of Isayama's quotes from the ANSWERS fanbook demonstrates this point:

"In American comics, portrayal of struggles are tied to the idea, 'With great power comes great responsibility' - this is how it applies to Levi as well. If he possessed no power, he is just another man without responsibility. But the fact that he has great amounts of power means that he carries an immense amount of responsibility. When Kenny said, 'Everyone is enslaved by something,' and questioned Levi 'Whose slave are you?' Levi also recognized that he is tethered to his own strength, as well as the duty of 'I must become a hero.'"

I want to talk about these panels, and particularly, how we see undermined here the notion that Kenny somehow instilled in Levi his belief in life's value.

These panels actually show us the opposite. Kenny says to Levi "Because we found out how meaningless our sad little lives really were."

Kenny flat out says here that he considers life meaningless, and his wording infers that he tried to impart this belief to Levi as well, by including him in the sentence. He says "we found out..."

He then says "But, something saved us. We found somethin' we wanted to do. It's simple. Simple, but true. Hobbies make life worth living."

And here Kenny is talking about dreams again, and how it's the motive of our personal dreams that keeps us going, that gives us a reason to want to keep living, even if life itself is meaningless. He underscores his low opinion of life's worth in general by casually comparing it to the idea of "hobbies", as if life's value is only equal to what activities we engage in to occupy our time when bored. This doesn't denote someone who finds life itself to be inherently worthwhile or innately worth living.

This is the exact opposite of Levi, and that's highlighted here by Levi's disbelieving reaction to Kenny's words. He says "Hobbies? So is blowing my soldiers' heads off one of your hobbies?"

Levi is disgusted by Kenny equating life's worth to something as inconsequential and frivolous as "hobbies". To Levi, life is, in and of itself, inherently valuable, and more than that, it's the one thing he values above all else. People's lives are what motivates him to fight. The desire to safeguard and preserve those lives. To protect them and prove their worth.

Kenny compares them again, saying Levi also kills if it "benefits" him, and Levi agrees, saying "Yeah.". But Kenny killed Levi's soldiers to get him closer to his own, personal dream of supreme power, while Levi killed members of Kenny's squad to protect the lives of his own comrades and himself. Kenny treated the members of Levi's squad like they were minor inconveniences in the way of him realizing his dream, which is where Levi's disgust also comes from, the casual and easy way in which Kenny took their lives, and how he then compared those lives worth to something as pointless as a hobby, easily disposed of because they weren't worth more than his dream to begin with. Because the thing is, Levi doesn't have a dream. There's no intangible and distant goal or desire he looks toward to keep him going, nothing he wants personally for himself. His only goal is to keep people alive, and barring that, to fight for their dreams, to make sure they at least don't die without reason, as a way to prove the worth of those lives. Levi is operating from the opposite stance that Kenny is, that being a belief that life is more valuable than anything, and that it doesn't need a reason or an explanation or an excuse to justify its existence. Just life in itself is what matters, is what's worthwhile and important.

The contrast between the way Levi regards life and the way Kenny regards life is fully expressed and demonstrated through this exchange, and the entire battle between Levi and Kenny's squad.

Kenny clearly didn't teach Levi to value life. He taught Levi to be selfish and greedy and to dispose of anyone who might get in the way of his personal desires. He taught Levi that life is hardly worth the distraction we derive from personal hobbies, that indeed, those hobbies are the only reason we have to go on living, implying the rest of it is pointless and without value or merit of any kind. Kenny would have demonstrated this to Levi too in the way he always so casually took others lives and in the way he taught Levi to do the same.

And yet, we see Levi defy this belief again and again, we see him defy this lesson imparted to him by Kenny again and again, by fighting so ardently for life and its preservation, to no, real benefit of his own, for no fulfillment of a personal dream, but simply for the sake of the people he's fighting for. For the lives of the people.

As I've said multiple times, it's really despite the way in which Kenny raised him that Levi ended up valuing life so much, not because of it.

[worldhell-archiving]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ @ausdauer ⤸ *Stamps on Kenny's foot and runs away*

❝ HELL! -- that hurt like a son of a bitch! ain't kind to go stompin on your elders! ❞ ever one for the dramatics. as if it hadn't been a simple case of sucking through his teeth. he might be wearing sturdy boots, but she sure put a lot of effort into that kick; who was he to spoil the fun.

❝ runnin' off already? ain't that no way to greet someone! ❞

and he's already on the chase. kenny obviously didn't teach that boy enough if this were how his friends were behaving. ❝ aww, c'mon! stick around n' I'll show you how yer supposed to say hi to someone! ❞

[ackerink]

ׅ ݁ detest ׅ 　𐚁̸ levi ackerman

﹙ series masterlist ﹚ ༨ home. main masterlist.

levi ackerman is sent by his marleyan superiors to kill you, commander of the ever growing survey corps.

ׅ ༢ pairing(s) ﹒ levi ackerman & reader.

﹒　　 starring ＃ l ackerman. e yeager. a arlert. e smith. h zoë. m ackerman. nanaba. p ral. m zacharias. e jinn. c springer. s braus. h reiss. ymir. j kirstein. k ackerman (kenny). g schultz. o bozado. original characters.

﹒　　 cw ＃ enemies to lovers. suggestive. violence & gore. exploitation. abuse of power. fem reader. child neglect. medical inaccuracies. commander!reader. no titans. possessive behavior.

◞ table of contents ⎯ © ackerink ゛﹒

〢 ׅ ݁ chapter one  ⁄⁄͈ ﹙ troublesome ﹚

levi is planned to arrive at paradis with one goal in mind, but you already suspected such, didn't you? to halt his attempt at killing you, hange helps you devise a plan where you've supposedly "lost your memory."

〢 ׅ ݁ chapter two  ⁄⁄͈ ﹙ ??? ﹚

???

〢 ׅ ݁ chapter three  ⁄⁄͈ ﹙ ??? ﹚

???

〢 ׅ ݁ chapter four  ⁄⁄͈ ﹙ ??? ﹚

???

〢 ׅ ݁ chapter five  ⁄⁄͈ ﹙ ??? ﹚

???

tags ﹒ @aphroditaeon @mayyhaps

[mayajadewrites]

I Wish I Hated You (Levi Ackerman x Reader)

story summary: You don't do second chances. Especially after you gave your heart to Levi Ackerman, and he decided to throw it away so the next person has to repair the damage. Will Levi put his ego aside and finally admit his feelings for you are far deeper than you imagined? Or is a second chance out of the question?

ao3

C H A P T E R E I G H T : T O M O R R O W

WARNING: explicit scenes in this chapter!! let me know what you think :)

Levi lead you into his living room that you were all too familiar with. His expression was... blank. You couldn't tell if he was sad, mad, or anything in between.

You sit on the couch opposite to the chair he's sitting in. "Levi, I-"

"You should know this," Levi looks down. "I'm not the best at... well, talking. My mother is someone who was... so special to me." 

"Levi." You press your hand on top of his. "I'm here to listen." 

Levi sighs as he sits back in his chair. "My mother and I grew up poor. Like, dirt poor." Levi started talking. It feels like it's been forever since you and him had an actual conversation instead of just arguing. "We were couch surfing and squatting in abandoned houses. Then, she got sick. We don't know what it was since we couldn't afford to go to a doctor. We couldn't even afford food. I was starving every day. Dreaming of bread." Levi looks down. "One day, she wouldn't even attempt to get out of bed. Or even talk to me. I remember her telling me about her brother, my uncle, and I had his phone number written down. I begged the corner store to let me use their phone, and thankfully they let me."

Your heart sinks thinking of how lonely Levi felt. How he was lacking basic needs.

"I called Kenny and he came and stayed with my mother during her last moments. I stood on the other side of her with my hand in hers. I remember her saying, 'Kenny, please take care of my Levi.' The pressure I was feeling from her hand suddenly just... disappeared. My mother's body was still there, but her soul was gone." 

Tears start to well up in your eyes. Levi's eyes were glued to the floor as he spoke, his deep voice cracking when he spoke of the final moments with his mother.

"Then I went and lived with Kenny. Which... wasn't the best either. He fed me, but he wanted me to learn to fend for myself. I would cause fights in school and Kenny had to beg them to let me stay." Levi cleared his throat. "He didn't know how to be a parent. I don't blame him. His sister died and left behind me. My father, who the hell knows who he is - Kenny felt he had no choice. But he did have a choice. He could've just-"

"Levi, he could not just leave you."

"He could've."

"But he didn't. You're his nephew, I'm sure he saw you and saw some of himself."

"Well, when I turned 18, he left. He told me I was an adult now and I had to figure life out. I was being... well, to put it lightly, a delinquent when I met Erwin. He's a tall, well kept man and I wanted to steal from him. He looked like he had money so he was the perfect target. For whatever reason, he wanted to be my friend. He's been in my life ever since." Levi finally looked at you. "He opened his home to me. He fed me. He taught me the ways of being a business man."

You didn't know how deep Erwin and Levi's friendship was. They're bonded brothers.

His mother left, Kenny left - no wonder he likes to leave. Must be an Ackerman thing. 

You stared into Levi's eyes - watching the storm brew. Your heart sank as you explored his face, your feelings for him resurfacing.

"Now you know why I am the way I am." Levi put his hands on his knees. "I don't blame you if you want to leave."

"Levi." You walk over to his chair, slowly sitting on his lap. "Do you want me to leave?" You gently wrap your arms around him. 

"I think you want to -"

"Answer my question." You grab his chin, pulling his face towards you. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No." Levi shook his head. "I never want you to leave." 

You felt like there was life brought back to you. The piece of your heart that broke off when you left Levi mended back to you. 

"We have to start over then." You caress his face gently. You wanted to just hold him during this vulnerable moment. "Like, we're going on dates. Almost like we were never together." 

"Hm?" Levi tilted his head. "But we did date... for 2 years."

"Levi. Do you want to make this work or no?" 

"I do." 

"Then we're starting over. I don't want us to jump back into this and make the same mistakes." 

Levi nods, letting his hand rest on your thigh. "Are you sure you don't want to leave? I'm giving you an out." 

"Levi Ackerman." Theres attitude in your voice. "If I wanted to leave, I would. I have before - remember?" 

"I'm sorry I made you leave."

"Shhh." You pull Levi into your chest, letting him lean on you. You felt his eyelashes flutter on your skin as he closed his eyes. His breath is slow and you know he's listening to your heartbeat. He's always loved cuddling in your chest and feeling your beating heart. Levi starts to bury his face in your breasts, his hands traveling up to your waist.

"Hey," You giggle as Levi grabs your left breast with his large hand. "Levi, this isn't the right time to be-"

"Sh." Levi demanded. His fingers pulled your shirt over your head, revealing your plump breasts. They bounced as they were released from the captivity of your shirt and Levi is mesmerized. He brought his lips to your right tit, sucking on your skin roughly as he squeezed the other. You throw your head back at the contact. Levi has always loved your chest and he likes to take his time there when he can.

"This isn't a part of starting over." You breathe.

"We can start over tomorrow." Levi mumbled as he unclipped your bra without looking. His mouth attached to your nipple, sucking it gently. You feel the wetness in your pants already as Levi sucks, bites, and licks all over your tits. 

Levi sits you on the chair, his large hands trailing down your upper body to the buttons of your jeans. He's on his knees now as he pulls your pants off, throwing them across the room. "My favorites." Levi hums at the sight of your black lace panties. "Too bad they're coming off." Levi almost rips the panties off of you, revealing your soaked pussy. 

He marvels for a moment, watching your arousal leak from you. You throw your head back as your core starts to throb. "Levi-" He cuts you off by inserting his tongue inside you. You gasp as you feel his tongue exploring your pussy, finding your clit soon after. Levi wraps his hands around your thighs as he devours you, his lips squelching against your core. 

Levi wraps his lips around your clit, sucking gently as he inserts two fingers into you. You bury your hands in his hair, pushing his face farther into you. You felt him smile as you pulled on his hair, something he's always loved. He pumped his fingers in and out of you quickly while his mouth was solely focused on your clit.

"I could eat this pussy all day." Levi hummed, the vibration from his words only adding to your pleasure. "This pretty little pussy."

"Levi." You moan, wrapping your legs around him as your toes begin to curl.

"I love when you moan my name." His fingers started to pump faster as your walls began to pulsate. "Can you come on my fingers, princess?" 

You nod silently as you feel the high quickly approaching. Your chest feels tight as the world begins to fade away, leaving only you and Levi. His tongue lapped your dripping arousal as you reached your high. Levi doesn't stop though, he keeps sucking on your clit until he wants to be done. You came on his fingers, his mouth - practically his entire face.

"Levi, I need you inside of me." You whine.

"You want my cock inside of you, my princess?"

"God, yes." You nod. Levi's mouth leaves your pussy and he picks you up and lays you on the couch gently. His shirt is off quickly, along with his belt and pants.

You watch his cock spring out of his pants. Every time you see it, you're mesmerized.

"Are you sure?"

"We'll start over tomorrow." You nod a Levi's arms are on either side of you. You feel the tip of his cock at your slit, easily sliding in due to your arousal. Levi lets out a husky moan as he feels your gummy walls wrapping around his cock.

"You were made for me." Levi starts thrusting into you. "This pussy fits me so perfectly."

"Baby, it's all yours." You stare into Levi's eyes. He presses his lips to yours roughly, leaving sloppy kisses as he thrusts inside you faster. You wrap your arms around his neck as he watches his length disappear inside of you, stretching your walls. You'll never get used to his size, no matter how many times you fuck.

"Princess, I need you to come again. Before me." Levi grunted as he slammed into you. He attaches his lips to the side of your neck, biting and sucking until your skin is purple. He then brings his fingers to your clit, rubbing it gently. 

You throw your head back, feeling your walls pulsate once again. Levi's thrusts start to become uneven as he feels you grip him, which means he's close.

"I'm not coming before you." Levi rubs circles on your clit. Your toes curl as Levi is almost overstimulating you - but that high comes back. 

"Levi." You practically yell as the hardest high of your life hits you. You see stars as Levi slams into you again and again. 

"Where should I come?" Levi whispered.

"Inside." You whisper in his ear, which causes him to lose all the control he had left. He coats your insides with him as he comes, gripping your hips tightly. Levi fills you up with his cum and somehow there is still more. 

Levi pulled out slowly and you whine at the now void. He pulls his pants on and grabbing a towel from his hallway closet and helping you clean up.

"So... tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." You press your lips to his gently, letting your worries melt away.

[sailorspica]

omg tell me about the pirate AU!!! and also if you feel like it, what would an angel/demon AU look like 👀..

self-ship AU asks

OKAY i started with what was piracy-adjacent at best but now as i type it's become an earnest pirates AU, so i'm thrilled, cc @marleysfinest

this started as incredibly detailed AoT historical speculation that i imagine you can relate to: trying to get my non-white ass into this universe, so one avenue is pre-walls. AU is set in the late eldian empire around 150 years before canon, so the gender politics and colonialism are... absolutely fucking foul, somewhere between the age of discovery and the napoleonic wars

c. 700, the ackermans function as a warrior house to the fritzes. kenny's probably around 45-50 and a military commander disillusioned with it all. he doesn't have a rosy relationship with the fritzes beyond feudalism, so the closest thing he has to a friend is some random azumabito who just hangs around court. after a major land victory against marley, kenny just kind of fucks off and decides to gallivant around the world with this azumabito guy on a big fancy ship as two hedonistic nobles from the world's biggest empires flaunting their wealth

then they roll up on the world equivalent of southeast asia where i seem to sneak aboard as a stowaway with a foolish assassination plan, see my reading of hizuru. on a chauvinist whim, kenny decides it'd be unfair to kill me and bad bondage practices ensue in his cabin for approximately one (1) day, come to reveal i Am a pirate and my crew fuckin includes the leonharts (muay thai!!!) and magath (has a bit of melanin imo, also he's often my ex) so the power imbalance switches immediately and well!! it becomes a political education and kenny never goes back to eldia (the continent that we know as marley) and is disgusted by hizuru and he's just the pet white guy in this anti-imperialist robin hood pirate crew. hears about the walls going up when he's 90 and i'm 70 like "damn that's crazy"

[klm-zoflorr]

Incorrect quotes..... Parthogenesis

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: This revenge shit is very unrewarding it turns out. I have lost all my friends and am devoid of the sweet sweet burn of anger now that I've accomplished my goal. Everybody hates me. I'm not allowed less than 50 meters from a government building. Help.

Armin: I TOLD YOU SO!

Eren: Well, good for you!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: *driving down the road*

Hange, driving up the same road: *yelling out the window as she passes him* PIG!

Commander Magath: *yelling back at Hange* BITCH!

Commander Magath: *rounding next curb, he crashes into a hug pig in the middle of the road and dies*

Ymir Fritz, watching on: Ah, if men would just listen

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: "sex" literally isn't real. "ohhh i just had sex" you "had" sex? where did it go? did it grow legs and run away?? idiot

Marcoco: Stop saying sex when what you mean is gender!!

Connie: I had gender with your mom

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Are you sure this is legal?

Annie: Why, are you taping this?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: God I do not like a single thing about you

Zeke: Tell me more

Hange: This isn't sexting

Zeke: It's better than sexting tbh

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Mikasa getting ready for her date with Eren*

Levi: Tell him if he breaks your heart, I'll nail gun his.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Your future self is talking shit about you right now.

Annie: Joke's on her. I'll ruin her fucking life.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: Connie, Sasha! How could you possibly have gotten into this much trouble in one day?!

Connie: It... It didn't take us the whole day...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: The bad news is you've lost a lot of blood

Sasha: What's the good news?

Hange: Well we've found most of it!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: *Calling the doctor* My wife is going into labor what do I do I have forgotten all of my medical training

Doctor on the other end of the call: Is this her first child?

Grisha: No this is her husband

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kuchel: You are so incredibly full of issues, you should do something about it! Go see a shrink, I don't know!

Kenny Ackerman: Oh yes!

Kenny: I've always been a big fan of head shrinking!

Kuchel: That's not-... That's not what it means...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Zofia: Why not?

Falco: Because you can't "C" in the dark...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kenny, at the therapist: Well, that is disappointing

Therapist: What is?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi, at Mikasa's funeral: I need a moment with her... Alone. Please.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Levi, leaning over Mikasa′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I'm not fooled by your cadaver palor and unnatural stillness. I know you’re not dead.

Mikasa: Yeah, no shit.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Me and Annie, we get along fine in my beat up honda civic. We just don't have room to disagree.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: It's been hard not having Ymir around. I never thought I'd miss being waterboarded so much.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Annie and Porco on their first day as coast guards*

Boss: 7 people died on your watch today

Annie, looking off into the distance: Yes but the coast is fine

Porco:

Boss:

Porco: They were all very mean and refused to tip. So, we just threw them back in the water.

Annie: Also you only found seven. We killed a lot more.

Porco: Yeah, but you didn't have to mention that tho

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Therapist: Kenny, you have a problem verbalising your emotions

Kenny: Can't say I'm surprised

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: Love the train so much.... ...... I sit... ..... It goes........ ........ We arrive!!!!!

Connie: I understand that, but it still doesn't explain why we get to carry all the rails in 40 degree* weather while you sit in the shade and drink a monster energy on the rocks

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Carla: Can I have a private talk with you?

Grisha: Sure, as long as it’s not about tampons, because I just don’t understand them.

Hannes, wearing tampons as earplugs: How? It's so obvious what they're used for!

Carla: I asked for a PRIVATE talk with him!

Grisha: Oh, you just can't separate me and Hannes. We're a package deal!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: Don't you think you're being a little dramatic about me letting your cactus die?

Floch: Dramatic? Perhaps a little.

Floch: Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to look out the window with a grimly satisfied expression.

Floch: I paid this skywriter a lot of money to write “Eren likes pineapple on pizza” in the clouds.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: The sexual tension between me and self-destruction

Kenny: Nothing has sexual tension with you, kid

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: You can diffuse any situation by saying, "are we about to kiss, right now?"

Historia: Eren, not only is that completely false and a ridiculous concept, but it's also not appropriate at all, we are at your trial for global genocide for fuck's sake-

Eren, leaning towards her: Are we about to kiss, right now?

Historia:

Historia, beet red: Nevermind.

Gabi: Can we PLEASE find another judge for this?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: I've got a joke for you. What's "Ereh" short for?

Armin: What for?

Jean: He's got little legs

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Im a lesbiab

Annie: Lesbiam

Annie: Less bien

Mikasa: Its okay take ur time

Annie: Girls

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Annie and me buried the hatchet, figured you could try doing the same?

Ymir: I don't bury hatchets

Ymir: I sharpen them.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I don't like being an adult

Carla: Yup I told you

Eren: You remember how you told me you put me in this world and you can take me out?

Eren: Take me out.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: So, you want to be the Sun in my life?

Jean: Yes.

Mikasa: Good, then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Eren, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Eren: Well of course I have.

Eren: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Eren: It's boring.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves. One for your foe, one for yourself.

Zeke: What a stupid fucking quote. I'm killing way more than two people idiot

Eren: Don't even bury them. Let them rot.

Zeke: Plus it's not like I'm gonna bury myself anyways? Why would I provide free cleaning labor like that

Eren: Maybe you're supposed to die in the grave?

Zeke: I'm not gonna dig myself a grave so someone can push me in and I can die as the biggest idiot that ever walked this Earth

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Udo, watching Gabi: If you were religious, that would be straight-to-hell behavior...

Gabi, putting scorpions in Zeke's dresser after he called her a shitty little kid: I don't believe in heaven or hell, but I do believe in Revenge

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin, about Eren: If karma doesn't hit you real quick, I fucking will.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: You know how in greek myths the people that die tragically sometimes get placed among the stars by the gods?

Colt: Yeah?

Falco: Call that a constellation prize.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, taking care of Reiner after he got injured: It's okay Braus, stay calm, stay calm

Reiner: My name isn't Braus, it's Braun

Sasha: I know, I'm talking to myself.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Pieck sliding $5 to the zookeeper*

Pieck: Maybe one of those penguins ends up in my car?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Fun fact: Blueberries are the only fruit named after a color

Armin: Starfruit

Historia: So close! That's a shape <33

Mikasa: Orange

Historia: Try again! <3 The color orange is named after the fruit.

Connie: Grape! "Gra" for gray! 🍇🤲😊

Historia:

Jean: You also forgot blackberries

Sasha: You idiot, black isn't a color.

Gabi: What about raspberries

Ymir: Green beans?

Falco: Lemons!! ♥️🥰☺️

Reiner: Wait aren't berries not fruit?

Historia: You all are so fucking stupid.

Zeke: What about dragon fruit

Historia: I am going to stone you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: Are oranges named orange because oranges are orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

Connie: Which came first, the orange or the orange?

Historia: Orange was first used to refer to the fruit 1280 years ago but was not used as a color until around 1000 years ago.

Eren: What was the color called before then?

Sasha: There was no color, duh! Everything was black and white!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hitch: "I'm kind of in a weird mental place right now" I say, as if there are times when I am not in a weird mental place

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Erwin, bleary eyed at 7am: Why are you opening all the windows?

Levi: We have to let air in

Erwin: But it's raining!

Levi: You're not made out of sugar, are you?!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Eren getting into Mikasa's car*

Eren: Let's go

Mikasa: Uh... Uh... Hi? Nice to see you too?

*Armin getting into the backseat*

Armin: Wait, she's our Uber driver?

Mikasa: Uber driver? I thought we were going on a date, Eren!

Armin: I thought this was a guy's night out!

Eren: There's been a change of plans.

Mikasa: You could have just asked?? You didn't have to trick us?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Porco: I'm not a 🚩 i'm more like a ⚠️ cause I do warn you, you just don't be listening

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: I'm not a 🚩 I'm a 🏁 cause you winnin' over there

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: I don’t know the first thing about fashion. Pretty much all I can do is look at something and tell you if it’s clothes or not. This titan? Not clothes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Thru the phone*

Erwin: Hey, I need your help, can you come back?

Hange: Uh, I can't, I'm buying clothes.

Erwin: Alright, well hurry up and come back to base.

Hange: I can't find them.

Erwin: What do you mean you can't find them?

Hange: I can't find them, there's only soup.

Erwin: What do you mean there's only soup?

Hange: It means there's only soup!

Erwin: Well then get out of the soup aisle!

Hange: Alright you don't have to shout at me!

*Silence*

Hange: There's more soup!

Erwin: What do you mean there's more soup?

Hange: There's just more soup!

Erwin: Go into the next aisle!

Hange: There's still soup!

Erwin: Where are you right now?

Hange: I'm at soup!

Erwin: What do you mean you're "at soup?"

Hange: I mean I'm at soup!

Erwin: What store are you in?

Hange: I'm at the soup store!

Erwin: Why are you buying clothes at the soup store?!

Hange: Fuck you!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: And then we'll be transported to the Paths dimension, and we'll meet Ymir Fritz, that's our long-dead ancestor...

Eren: I can barely tolerate the living, why would I want to commute with the dead?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin: Does necromancy only work on animals? What do you do if you accidentally necromancy a fence and then it starts growing branches?

Armin: WHAT DO YOU DO IF YOU NECROMANCY A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO AND IT TURNS INTO AN ENTIRE PILE OF LIMES?

Armin: What if I accidentally necromancy a vaccine and then someone gets an armful of very live pathogen?

Armin: WHAT'S THE LIMIT ON DEADNESS? HOW RECENTLY DOES SOMETHING HAVE TO BE DEAD? COULD I NECROMANCY A DINOSAUR FOSSIL? WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED THE GROUND AND THEN DINOSAURS STARTED APPEARING?

Armin: WHAT IF I NECROMANCIED A LIMESTONE WALL AND IT JUST TURNED INTO A PILE OF MOLLUSCS? WHAT IF I MOLLUSCED A BUILDING? A MOUNTAIN?

Annie: Armin.

Annie: are u ok

Armin: NO

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Colt's contributions to meetings: What about the impact on civilian populations? Do we have enough ammunition, provisions in storage to not rely on outside help?

Falco's contributions to meetings: Do you think stars have feelings?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: It's been ten year since my beloved son Zeke died...

Zeke: I was never your beloved son! And quit telling people I'm dead!

Grisha: Sometimes it feels like I can still hear his voice...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: *wearing a shirt reading "cunt era"*

Eren: *wearing a shirt reading "I'm high as fuck and have a gun in my backpack"*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: The bad news is that you have a really rare disease

Rod Reiss: Oh, no. What's the good news?

Grisha: Well, you get to name it!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: What's a good starter vice for someone who wants to get into ruining their life?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: Smarties

Yelena: Heroin and mass murder

Levi: You're both at very different ends of the spectrum yet I don't think either of you understood the question

Levi: The real answer is Erwin Smith

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke, getting up in the middle of a meeting: Pieck and I are not longer dating

Pieck: Zeke, that's a horrible way to tell people that we got married

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke: My mother and I spent some quality time together. Got our hands dirty.

Pieck: Gardening?

Zeke: Grave-digging.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: Food trucks but instead of food, it's therapy and they're called automofeels

Rod Reiss: I know you're my last living descendant but with that kind of suggestions, I feel like I'd be better off picking a manged rat off the street

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch: If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're impressed.

Yelena: But you do know better.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where I rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

Sasha: a dentist

Eren: I don't know what your dentist is doing to you but I think you need to go to the police

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Pieck is coming back with McDonalds*

Zeke, reaching for his happy meal: Sorry, but there's no "we" in "fries"

Pieck: But there is an "I" *she steals all of his fries*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: Well, if you're not at least a little bit gay for your friends, then what kind of friend are you?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: The feminine urge to be ominous & terrifying...

Hange: Mood

Mikasa: You are like if a moth was wearing clown shoes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: A fun fact about me is i have never forgiven anyone for anything

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bertholt: Have you ever been told you can be a bit intimidating?

Annie: Yes, every day of my life since kindergarten.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: Being alive is great because there are so many different great vegetables you can sauté. But then there are also The Horrors

Falco: So true

Falco: Actually no. This is weird.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Uri Reiss: What is a sex drive where is the sex going does it even have a licence

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi, to Erwin: You're gay because you like men

Levi: I'm gay because I hate women just a tiny bit more than I hate men. We are not the same.

Hange: Yaoi vs shounen

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: What’s it like being tall?

Historia: Is it nice?

Armin: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?

Reiner: I live in constant fear of the short people, who, in my experience, will climb four chairs, two boxes, a small coffee table, and six oddly placed stools to get what they want.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Eren: I don't know whether to bail you out, Mikasa, you've been in jail three times.

Zeke: Dad, Eren is cheating.

Grisha: Calm down, son.

Zeke: You are supporting him just because he bought you a hotel on Park Place

Eren: Someone has to take care of him in his old age? Who is going to do it but me? You?

Mikasa: *slyly knocks the Monopoly board off the table😼*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Hey girl ive been yearning for you the normal amount

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Grisha: Great. Here comes the woke mob to cancel me for killing and eating several people.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The 104th, Hange, Erwin, Levi, Grisha, Carla, Hannes wearing party hats, popping confetti cannons and cheering: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Eren: Uh. Thanks I guess?

Historia: You don't like being celebrated?

Eren: I prefer to be villified, my name invoking fear over a great cloud of darkness...

Carla: Muffins, Overlord?

Eren: Thamk you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: I like you lets go to hell together

Sasha: Hell? More like HELL P!! Ahah

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Rod Reiss: We need back-up with the military police!! Are you free?

Kenny: No actually, I am very expensive.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Since when are drapes flammable?

Historia: Since always, Connie! Drapes have ALWAYS BEEN FLAMMABLE!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Parental figure: Don't go into the forest, it's full of lemon-stealing whores!

Teenage Hange: Ooh, spooky!

Teenhange: What specific parts of the woods are they in, so I can avoid them extra hard?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner, in front of Sasha's grave: Rip i was always into you

Sasha, popping out from behind a tree: ? Worst confession ever

Reiner: You're not dead??

Reiner: I lied

Reiner: You are nothing to me

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Gabi and Falco looking over the bones of Rod Reiss*

Falco: What happened to him?

Historia: Ah well, he tried to outpizza the Hut

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: I heard it's supposed to rain

Colt: Oh, yeah? But look at this sun!

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: Brr, getting a bit cold, uh?

Gabi: Yeah, it's supposed to rain later

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Zeke passing through next to Magath adressing the kids*

Commander Magath: We're not gonna do the lesson outside today, it's supposed to rain

Zeke:

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Galliard, mind helping me set up the tables outside for my mind reading scam?

Porco: Don't start this now, it's supposed to rain this afternoon!

Zeke: I heard it's never going to rain again.

Porco: What is the fucking matter with you

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: I decided I'm actually not gonna break up with you over your corny jokes, Porco convinced me otherwise.

Zeke: What a re-LEAF. I should get you flowers. I know it STEMS from a place of love, now our relationship can BURGEON out of bounds.

Pieck: I changed my mind.

Zeke: Ok, but Porco avocated for me?? Really?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: Zeke? What was that message you sent me?

*Shows him the phone, with a garbled texting mess on it that reads as follows: pleusr bereing qi 2 auffce chabi goht pik 🏹. shi went hair glleiteur pin. kiuk houry aim worrded*

Zeke: "Please bring the key to the office back, Gabi is threatening Pieck at gunpoint, she wants her glitter pen back and I seem to be the only one worried about it."

Annie: I read serial killer diaries with better punctuation than this

Zeke: But do you have the keys?

Annie: No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: What about the bow emoji?

Zeke: They censored the gun on my phone

Annie: No, look there's the little water gun...

Zeke: It doesn't convey the urgency of the situation

Annie: Nothing in your message conveys the urgency of the situation since you need a degree in foreign languages to understand it

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Commander Magath: Do you have any children?

Dina Fritz: Yes, I have one that's just under two.

Commander Magath: I know how many one is

Commander Magath: Is he big enough to man a cannon yet

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yelena: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Reiner: Be myself?? The person who got me into this mess???

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Ymir: Will I find a purpose?

Annie, posing as a fortune teller: No.

Ymir: u didn't do the thing with the cards

Annie: *flips one card, maintaining eye contact* No.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Pieck: *unbuttoning shirt* Oh my god, it's hot as hell in here.

Yelena: Yes, but why are you unbuttoning my shirt?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: You into cars?

Ymir: Yes, it truly was a masterpiece of a film

Connie: No i mean are you a cars person

Ymir: I'm a human.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: I tried making my own Red Bull with crushed up caffeine pills, twenty-one shots of expresso, carbonated licorice water and gummy vitamins. The doctor said I'm lucky to be alive.

Connie, 24 hours before: I can perceive twenty-three spatial dimensions and am fighting my own soul. I'm winning by the way.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: i am at a loss for words to describe how absolutely stupid this plan was!

Sasha, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, the Captain yelled at us for the next thirty minutes.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Hange getting ready to go on an expedition in the titan forest*

Hange: If you hear me screaming bloody murder, there's a good chance I'm enjoying myself.

Levi: ...figured that one out

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa, when Eren leaves for Zeke's side: You're leaving me? I'm coming with you.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Gabi: What's the difference between Reiner and a magnet?

Gabi: A magnet has a positive side!

Reiner: Ah-Ah. Very funny.

Falco: A magnet would have laughed at this quality joke!

Reiner: I wish I were an household item

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Hange: You know, you look pretty fit yourself. What do you play?

Erwin: Anybody that gets close enough.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mr. Xaver: I'm sorry Zeke, your dad was pronounced dead

Zeke: *tearing up*

Zeke: I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time??!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: I tried your "salad" thing today, and Ew. I only ate one of those red and white nasty apple things, and I couldn't handle it after.

Pieck: Radishes, Historia

Historia: Mini dirt apples

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Kenny the Boomer, looking at his dead phone: How do we bring this thing back to life? Magic? Live sacrifice? I know a guy in town-

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch, lovingly, to Eren: You inspire me to be so much worse

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Floch, interviewing people: What do you want for Christmas?

Annie: Uhhh... for me to be alive

Levi: You know those microfibers cloths they have at big stores?

Historia: I just want Captain Levi to have a great time. Cause, he's been really really sad and angry lately. And you know, that's all I really need, more happiness in the world.

Connie: I'll say I want a big booty hoe, sitting on my face right now. Blrrr!

Sasha: Free weed!

Eren: Uhhhh.... World peace

Mikasa: Dick

Hange: *Pouring everyone a big glass of her special cocktail* Mental stabilityyyy baby!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Jean: I'd roast you, but my mom says you can't burn trash.

Jean: *moon-walks out of the room*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: I'm not sure whose twisted idea it was to put hundreds of adolescents in underfunded dilapidated training camps, taught by people whose dreams were crushed years ago, but I admire the sadism.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yelena: I've tried some eyeliner, thoughts?

Floch: Sorry but someone already has swag in this enimity and it's ME

Yelena: You? Cool? You are like if a moth was wearing clown shoes.

Floch: Where did you even hear that expression

Yelena: Idk

Floch: Well you look like you could stab someone with these anyways

Yelena: The clown shoes?

Floch: The eyeliner.

Yelena: That's the goal

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Zeke organising a play about his life: Porco, I think you should play the role of my father.

Porco: I don't want to be your father??

Zeke: That's perfect, you already know your lines!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Marcel: I don’t know why I do the things I do. Never did. I’m a damn mystery to myself. It makes my existence... Exciting, you know. You never know what's gonna happen. Am I going to jail, am I getting a medal for bravery? Am I driving on the highway at three in the morning to ruin my life and everybody in this town's again??

Ymir: Are you gonna get caught, cooked and eaten by a random girl in the woods?? Who the hell knows.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

*Porco, in his jock attire, yelling at the tv*

Bertholt: You're yelling like the players are actually gonna listen to you

Porco: You're in love with a girl who doesn't even know you exist

Bertholt:

Bertholt: Never talk to me again

*Bertholt goes to his room to try and glue back the shattered remains of his ego*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Historia: I think my dad never loved me.

Zeke: HA! Loser. I always KNEW my dad never loved me.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha, leaving the Training Corps in s2 to go save her family: There I go side questing again!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on the plane?

Armin: Yes, but I'm not that kind of...

Flight attendant: The pilots are debating the merits of the terminologies of "the dark ages" vs. "late antiquity" vs. "the early middle ages".

Armin: Okay. I'm here.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Bertholt: Annie... I need to tell you something.

Annie: Alright?

Bertholt: You're hot then you're cold, you're yes then you're no, you're in and you're out, you're up then you're down, you're right when it's wrong, you... I guess what I want to say is you're incredible and I care about you. You're so good... At everything. I deeply admire you. I could get lost in the blue of your eyes, I feel like I'm flying when I look at you. Your hair is a golden crown, which you deserve because you are a queen. Your laugh is rare and dry like an oasis in the desert, it's the only thing in the world that can quench my thirst. What I'm trying to say is... I love you.

Annie: Alright.

Bertholt:

Annie: Thanks. You... Uh... You always fill a room with your presence... Like a stately sequoia tree.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Sasha: *sees a ghost* omg are you dead

Ghost Gabi: Of corpse

Ghost Gabi: The other ghosts said they'll beat my ass because of this joke. Grave mistake.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Levi: Oh yes, my uncle is out of town, said something about tying up loose ends?

Uri Reiss:

Kenny: *tying up the ends of a black bag filled with a dead body*

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Falco: Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Gabi:

Gabi: I don't think you know what this sentence means

Gabi: But yes, it's a gun.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Connie: Are you alright?

Historia: I'm fine.

Connie: No, but really?

Historia: I mean yeah i carry around an immense sadness that destroys my will to live more and more everyday but like im fine

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Erwin: I rarely find cocaine jokes funny.

Erwin: But occasionally, an one-liner makes me snort.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Annie: We have an issue. Most of your bleeding is internal.

Marcel: Well, isn't that good news?! That's where the blood is supposed to be anyways!

Pieck: I don't think it's in the benefit of humanity as a whole to try to save him...

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Mikasa: I act as if I don't care if people dislike me. But deep down? I secretly enjoy it.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Yes, do believe good cop/bad cop is the essence of the MikAnnie dynamic

Yes, I know titans aren't supposed to leave bones behind. I'm gonna need you to get allll the way off my back about this!

Yes, I did watch the Wednesday series recently. It's a good show, innit? Full of punchy one-liners!

Yes, this end note is getting entirely too repetitive.

Yes, there's more?

*: 104° F for you eagle people

[morgancgaliano]

Cattivi preferiti negli anime:

- Orochimaru, Naruto;

- Sasori, Naruto;

- Madara Uchiha, Naruto;

- Rezo, Slayers;

- Prince Diamond, Sailor Moon

- Nnoitra Gilga, Bleach;

- Muramasa, Bleach;

- Kougi Ginjo, Bleach;

- Cancer Deathmask, Saint Seiya;

- Radamanthys della Viverna, Saint Seiya;

- Pandora, Saint Seiya;

- Hades, Saint Seiya (ogni serie, non fa differenza);

- Ophiuchus Odysseus, Saint Seiya Next Dimension;

- Stain, My Hero Academia;

- Dabi, My Hero Academia;

- Goku Black, Dragonball;

- Kenny Ackerman, Shingeki No Kyojin;

- Annie Leonhardt, Shingeki No Kyojin;

- Lelouch Lamperouge, Code Geass;

- Cornelia Li Britannia, Code Geass;

- Dracula, Hellsing;

- Walter C. Dornez, Hellsing

- Azula, Avatar - The Last airbender;

- Garou, One Punch Man;

- Solf J. Kimblee, Fullmetal Alchemist;

- Lust, Fullmetal Alchemist;

- Greed, Fullmetal Alchemist;

- Seishiro Sakurazukamori, X 1999;

- Zagato, Magic Knight Reyheart;

- Homura Akemi, Puella Magi Madoka Magica;

- Shalltear Bloodfallen, Overlord;

- Gilles de Rais, Fate

- Gilgamesh, Fate

[madraleen]

Attack on Titan - Hajime Isayama Vol.13-16: A “there’s still a lot we can do inside... like knitting” commentary.

-Look at the cover of volume 13, all of my darlings on the cover looking badass.

-I read the chapter title “Squad Levi” and I’m just grinning from ear to ear.

-Eren did turn into an indecisive whiner for a bit, you’re right, Jean. You’ve both changed based on your experiences, isn’t it great

-D o m e s t i c i t y, help! Help, this is soft!

-Levi just loooves talking about toilet stuff.

-People get broken in such subtle ways throughout the story. So quietly. It’s not a huge flashy thing, and they’re still them when it comes to big moments, but in the small intimate moments they get more hesitant, more cautious.

-The fact that Hange’s answer “There’s still a lot we can do inside... like knitting” is said in earnest

-Hahaha, is Titan Eren writing with a freakin log?! Lmao, amazing.

-Yes, random person, Levi is smol bean, what about it?!

-The Survey Corps not working hard enough? The disrespect of the randos, ffs.

-I WANT TO READ THE J-POP NIGHTMARE ARC!

-What is this sulky Levi doing on the cover of volume 14

-”We just have to enthrone Historia Reiss as the Queen,” he says. There’s nothing JUST about that, Erwin!!

-The variety of outfits, I love it.

-Wait, Levi ACKERMAN? What’s he to Mikasa?!

-Well. That plan with Reeves went well. *cries in merchantese*

-See Squad Levi and Hange’s people turn into outlaws or sth

-Why do you show me people in hoods, I’m weak for fictional people in hoods.

-Hold up hold up, Kenny is also an Ackerman? Am I misunderstanding something? Am I experiencing a conundrum of Ackermans?

-The scale of everything is getting so big. And I really like the action scenes.

-To be Armin, to have killed your first human, and to have LEVI talking to you about it. True hell. He doesn’t have the manners is what I’m saying!

-Oh wait, he’s not doing too bad tonight. Way to go, Levi.

-When are we getting the juicy Levi backstory?

-”Captain Levi... in the flesh...” That’s right, Marlowe, that’s how I react too whenever Levi appears.

-”It was everyone’s individual choices that brought change to our world.” I’m crying and you can’t stop me.

-The fuck are they doing to Eren. The fuck is he in chains? RELEASE HIM!

-Yeah, no, I hate this the most, unchain Eren now.

-No!! Baby Titan Eren killed his father?!?! I gasped so loud (I assume he was also a Titan, with the whole turn into a Titan and eat a Human Titan so that you can control it?).

-No, I don’t buy the Grisha slander, we need to get to that basement.

-I’m gonna slap Historia so hard.

-Ugh, Baby Eren’s little hand on Grisha’s adult hand as he tries to stop him from injecting him, little baby :((((

-I’m reading this so consistently and intensely that I’m pretty sure when I’m done everything will be a blur.

-I can’t even imagine how angry the Survey Corps must be. I’m livid.

-Asdfsfd, Levi and Mikasa synchronized jump out of the smoke, help.

-Jean killed! Jean killed!

-The audacity to call Squad Levi et al monsters when Kenny’s gang was literally waiting to kill them in ambush!

-Listen to him, Historia, listen to Eren! (For context on how ridiculous I’m being, Eren is currently saying “Mmmff!! Mmmhh!!”)

-Oh, Levi’s Kenny’s nephew then? Mikasa’s cousin?

-I want to smack Historia so hard.

-Hold up hold up, Eren, easy there on the guilt trip. This family has had this damn power for one hundred years, why would FRIEDA change the world, why didn’t they change the damn world earlier, it’s not adding up!

-Thank you, Historia! Like I said!

-The masterful, masterful way that everything in Historia’s life has led to this moment. That every self-empowering interaction between two side characters led to Historia rejecting the serum.

-Shut up with your pseudo-shonen protag bullshit, Eren, you’re not being eaten, it’s bad for everyone if you DON’T keep on living, shut up shut up shut up!

-Historia responded with “Shut up, you stupid crybaby,” and now I love her.

-Yeah, so, fuck what I said, I love Historia. My apologies.

-”You hear me, shirtless wonder?!” Hahaha, J E A N!

[scarletskiesinthepaths]

Hello, Sky! I have been itching to ask this, lol.

In this post of yours, you laid out Levi's emotional affect and the causes of it, narrowing it down to the two most likely causes for him: severe psychological trauma and ASD, the likelier of which you ruled out to be psychological trauma. However, theoretically speaking, if any part of it were to be attributed to ASD, I believe (correct me if I'm wrong, I'm no expert) that ASD can have an impact on the expression of physical pain (or, feeling physical pain).

So considering Levi's past with Kenny, and any possibility of physical abuse that happened during that period, how do you think Levi having ASD would have affected how Kenny treated him, given that his philosophy is 'only the strong deserve to survive,' and that a part of Japanese culture seems to value 'silent suffering' as a show of strength? Do you think he would have seen Levi as 'strong' for that, or as even more 'weird,' since he says something about Levi being a weird or antisocial kid? How do you think that would have impacted Levi growing up, and how do you think that would have impacted his view of himself and his perspectives as an adult?

Hi, Star! 💫❣️ Thank you so much for the ask message, and I'm sorry for taking so long to respond! So, these are some very interesting questions, and I'm honored my other meta post inspired these. I thought for a good while about how to respond to this message.

You are indeed correct that autism spectrum disorder (ASD) can have an impact on the expression of physical pain. To elaborate on that point specifically, research on ASD has shown that individuals can exhibit atypical sensory processing. According to the DSM‑5-TR (American Psychiatric Association, 2022), many people on the autism spectrum experience sensory input—including pain—in nonstandard ways. For example, some studies (Marco et al., 2011) indicate that individuals with ASD may show hypo‐reactivity to pain, meaning that they might not respond to physical pain as expected. In Levi’s case, if any part of his flat affect or muted physical pain response were influenced by ASD, it could mean that his internal experience of pain didn’t match the visible expressions of distress that others might expect.

Kenny’s philosophy—“only the strong deserve to survive”—and his known remarks about Levi being “weird” suggest that he judged individuals by a very specific, utilitarian standard. If Levi’s muted pain responses (potentially rooted in ASD) made him appear even more unresponsive than is typical for a child raised amid brutality, Kenny might have interpreted that in two ways:

As a Sign of Strength: Kenny could have seen Levi’s lack of overt pain reaction as evidence that he was enduring hardship without complaint—an asset in a world where showing weakness might be fatal.

Addressing your point about "silent suffering" in Japanese culture: While I'm not an expert on Japanese culture, I am aware that practicing gaman is often seen as a virtue. That is, enduring or persevering in tough times without complaint (X, X, X). However, since the societies of Paradis and the Underground do not directly mirror Japanese culture (despite some similarities), it’s unclear whether Kenny’s perspective reflects an ingrained cultural expectation. That said, given that Isayama is Japanese, it’s possible that elements of this philosophy influenced Kenny’s character, though this remains speculative, especially since Kenny himself is not portrayed as Japanese or Asian.

As Abnormal or Weak: Conversely, because Kenny already characterized Levi as “weird,” he might also have viewed these atypical responses as deviations from the norm, an indicator that Levi was not entirely “fit” by his own harsh standards. In Kenny’s eyes, any behavior that deviated from the expected might have compounded his disdain or led him to believe that Levi’s reactions were, in part, the product of an abnormal (and potentially exploitable) condition. If Kenny could pick up that Levi was "weird", other people likely could, too.

It's tough to say which of the two is more likely. It's also entirely possible that Kenny may have expressed conflicting views at different times. Inconsistency on the part of caregiving often results in an insecure attachment, specifically the disorganized attachment style (also called fearful-avoidant). This would have further complicated how Levi understood and responded to emotional signals. But, that's a post for another day, haha.

I'm also of the belief that Kenny viewed Levi as a "project" to test his philosophy on. In Kenny's eyes, if Levi grew strong and survived, it would prove that power is all that matters. Moreover, if Levi did show signs of ASD and Kenny picked up on that, it might have influenced his decision to keep Levi Underground. We know Kenny intended to bring Kuchel to the surface, so what set Levi apart? Perhaps Kenny concluded that Levi’s “weirdness” made him unfit for surface life, while at the same time making him the perfect subject to test his ideas in an environment where physical dominance reigned supreme.

So, getting to the other parts of your ask, what are the implications for Levi’s development and self-perception?

If we hypothesize that Levi did have ASD traits influencing his physical pain expression and social communication, several developmental impacts are conceivable:

Growing up in an environment where his natural responses (whether due to trauma, ASD, or both) were met with harsh judgment would likely have intensified Levi’s sense of alienation. Even if his stoicism was lauded in certain contexts (as a form of silent strength), the contradictory messages—that he was both exceptionally strong and oddly abnormal—could have created a lasting internal conflict.

Over time, Levi may have learned to suppress not only emotional pain but even physical discomfort as a survival mechanism. This might explain his consistently minimal reaction to injuries throughout the manga—a trait that, while making him an effective soldier, also underlines a deep-seated internal struggle.

Ultimately, the interplay of severe psychological trauma and any underlying ASD would shape Levi’s adult identity. This aids him in becoming what seems like the consummate professional—emotionally reserved and seemingly impervious (on top of his immense physical strength)—yet those very traits might also fuel a hidden sense of isolation and self-doubt. His difficulty in fully connecting with others can be seen as both a consequence of early abuse/neglect and a byproduct of atypical social processing. And just to clarify, when I say "difficulty connecting with others", I'm referring to these signs:

Levi's first friendships were formed during his early adulthood (first with Furlan and then with Isabel), while most people form their first friendships during early childhood.

Levi referred to himself as "abnormal" during the Uprising arc, demonstrating there's a level of detachment he feels from others.

Levi's difficulties expressing himself without coming across as rude, consistently needing others (i.e., Hange) to interpret for him to clarify his intended meaning.

Isayama's known interviews, where he's spoken about how Levi deliberately keeps himself at a distance from others—"It’s likely because he is afraid of forming close relationships. Because he exists in a world where one can be eaten by a Titan at any time, he consistently avoids building 'family'-like connections with others." (X)

TL;DR? Levi’s potential ASD traits, like atypical social processing and a muted response to pain, may have led to his behavior being misinterpreted by Kenny, who saw these traits either as unyielding strength or as abnormal weakness (it's difficult to say which one for sure). It may have also contributed to Kenny's decision to abandon Levi in the Underground. As a child, this conflicting feedback likely left Levi feeling both resilient and fundamentally different, fostering an insecure attachment style and a tendency to suppress emotional and physical pain.

Anyway, hopefully this answered your question! Lol. It was certainly interesting to think about.

References

American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed., text rev.). American Psychiatric Publishing.

Marco, E. J., Hinkley, L. B., Hill, S. S., & Nagarajan, S. S. (2011). Sensory processing in autism: A review of neurophysiologic findings. Pediatric Research, 69(5), 48R–54R.

[i-naitfall]

BNHA VERSE INFO (DRAFT)

Levi’s the son of a prostitute named Kuchel, whose last name was meant to be kept secret from him, finding out after years, his mother had to run away and hide because a family of power wanted her dead. Levi was raised in the brothel his mother worked, until she died from sickness when he was around the age of nine. He was found by his mother’s brother, Kenny Ackerman, a famous serial-killer, in a state where he hadn't eaten for days, almost dead and with no wish to live, staying in the same room his mother's corpse was. Kenny took care of Levi for a short time, teaching him how to live and fight, until Levi could survive on his own, and then he abandoned him.

As he grew up, Levi became an infamous thief, one to spread fear for being invincible. He had a reputation, that he didn't have a Quirk. And for years, Levi didn't know he had one. With two people who would become his found family [person a and b], and some other thugs who followed him (despite Levi having no interest in becoming a leader of any team of criminals), he became known as the leader of the most powerful gangs.

Except, a member of the Hero Commission [person c] approaches him with a deal: to join them and become a hero, if he wants all his crimes (his and person a and b's) to be erased. Levi had already made a deal with someone from the Hero Commission, to infiltrate the Hero Commission, and kill person c, but before he knows it, the people most important to him [person a and b] get killed in a villain attack. Levi changes, and realizes what he's supposed to do, and willingly joins person c and the hero commission.

After a series of exams, they discover he has a Quirk:

FOREKNOWLEDGE: Having the ability to see a few seconds in the future

It's a quirk where he's already experiencing the future with ALL his senses, not just his eyes, as if he's always living ahead a few seconds.

Person C is a shady individual in the Hero Commission, a threat to many in it with his revolutionary ideas, but he builds a bond of trust with Levi who takes up jobs at first that are similar to Lady Nagant. Slowly he becomes a popular hero but his past as a criminal remains secret, and he's not included in the hero ranks despite being considered one of the strongest heroes because of the Commissions efforts to keep everything secret.

Levi becomes a teacher at U.A. where he teaches the second-years close combat while working as a hero at the same time.

In the first war, person c dies, and the hero commission find a chance to get rid of Levi by revealing in the public his criminal past. Along with the frustration of Hawk's past and killing Twice, Dabi's reveal and the heroes' incompetence to protect everyone, and with the police after him, Levi's forced to hide away like the criminal he once was. He has lost person c, but at least the students at U.A. haven't given up on him.

He participates and helps in the second war. He's caught in an explosion and even if he lives, he loses one eye, two of his fingers, great damage on one of his leg and neurological damage. After the war, he's forced to move around with a cane and a wheelchair. I haven't yet decided on post-war info, but he'd probably help the new Commission with restoring peace, and maybe open a tea shop.

his google doc.

[meatmechapilot]

Rivaereri Spring 2024 - Day 6: Crime AU

Bonnie and Clyde

“Hands up in the air!” the- masked man shouted as he unloaded a clip into the ceiling of the bank lobby.

Screams rang out as bank patrons scrambled to look for cover all over the place, most ended up huddled against the wall. The bank teller was frozen in fear as the masked man got closer to the counter. She saw that there is an accomplice that is now going around collecting valuables from the bank patrons. They are both armed and the bank teller saw wallets, watches, jewelry and other valuables going into a bag.

“Hand them over,” the first man, who is now right up at the counter and aiming the gun straight at the poor, terrified employee. She saw now that the man with the gun isn’t really that tall, but he has an imposing aura that makes him terrifying all the same. She scrambled to comply with the demands by emptying the bank vault and laying stacks of money on the counter. The gunman’s accomplice is now also at the counter and is scooping the money into his bag with the other valuables.

The two criminals worked perfectly in sync and cleaned out the bank in no time. For a parting gift, the gunman reached into his pocket and pulled out a gas canister and unleashed its contents into the bank. Then they turned heel and left the bank full of people choking and gagging from the noxious gas.

Finally, when they were outside, they hopped into their getaway car and floored it, getting out of the crime scene in record time.

===

On the outskirts of the city, inside the criminals' lair, the TV is on with breaking news about the latest high profile bank robbery.

“Hey brat! Turn that infernal TV down!” The older of the two criminals groused, while sorting out the loot from their previous activity.

“Aw, Levi, you don’t want to see our body count?” The younger criminal answered, his voice a little too happy.

“How many times do I have to tell you, Eren?” Levi said, “the gas is way too easy and takes the fun out of killing. It’s much more satisfying to kill people with your bare hands, seeing the life leaving their eyes is a special kind of experience that no poison gas will come close to.”

Eren heard this spiel from Levi countless times, but since he values efficiency, he never really paid much attention. Levi was a serial killer before becoming a bank robber, so Eren supposed that he knew what he was talking about. “I wonder how much our bounty is now.” Eren flipped through the channel until he found the relevant one that gave him the information. “Thirty million dollars for the both of us! It’s increased by five million since the last time!” Eren exclaimed excitedly. He had a goal of bringing their bounty up to one hundred million. “Oh man, how come you are twenty million and I’m only ten million?” He pouted when he saw the individual bounties.

“Because I was a notorious serial killer with a ten million bounty before I even met you.” Levi said impatiently. “And don’t forget, Kenny Ackerman was at fifty million when he died, us two combined aren't even close to him yet.”

Kenny Ackerman was a legend among the criminal underworld and Eren never failed to be star struck when his name came up. In fact, Levi met Eren when the latter was bragging about surpassing Kenny as the most notorious criminal ever, and intervened before he got jumped by a bunch of hardened criminals. Levi then offered to take Eren under his wing, teaching him all there is to know about committing crimes.

Of course, Levi had ulterior motives in saving Eren. The brat was gorgeous with long legs and tanned skin and the most vivid greens eyes Levi had ever seen. He was an exact match for Levi’s type. The best thing about Eren that Levi discovered was he was extremely groomable, and it took less than a year for Levi to train him to his exacting standards for pretty much everything from housework to cooking to being the perfect whore in bed.

Speaking of bed, Eren came over with a perfectly brewed pot of tea and some tea cakes he made himself, a perfect pre bedtime snack. Levi was nowhere near ready to sleep, he’s always a bit heated after one of their heists and Eren understands him perfectly. Neither of them will get much sleep tonight.

The criminal duo ate their snacks in record time and made a beeline for bed, and not a wink of sleep was to be had until dawn.

[mazuwii]

I have another ask 😊 don't have to answer now, I don't want you to be over whelmed. Though thought I have in mind would be how would Erwin, Levi, bertholdt, Reiner, moblit, hange, and Kenny react to finding a maiden who has healing abilities?

Like Katara from the last air bender on how she can use her bending to heal. If you are confused I'd be happy to explain more 🥰

I assume these characters would be injured since Y/n seems so hellbent on hiding these powers.

Erwin:

To me, Erwin seems like the type to hide an injury on purpose, to not drag you behind.

However as his vision blurs with surroundings muffling and buzzing in his ear, he begins to regret not treating that deep stab wound earlier. He didn't even have the time to, the escape was once in a lifetime, he couldn't let you down. After all, he was the one who came up with it. He'd be failing you both.

As you inch further away from his grasp, he reaches further, wanting to call your name, to at least tell you that he loved you before death. Yet all that came out was a quivered whimper.

Meanwhile you weren't sure what the hold up with Erwin was. You weren't sure if your captors knew the trail of your destiny, whether they followed you or not. So why was he taking his sweet time. When you had asked why he ran so slowly, he'd tell you that he was watching out from behind.

Yet, when his limp footsteps had faded, you weren't sure what to be scared about. The possibilities were endless.

"Erwin?" You stuttered, "hey..." you called out, tracing back into the direction you came from, it wasn't far, until you saw the blur of blonde hair on the muddy leaves of the forest.

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach, realising he had collapsed. "Erwin!" You sprinted to his body, slipping on some mud and messily kneeling beside him. You gently rolled him onto his back, pupils thinning at how pale his skin had become. Still, you pulled him onto your lap, checking his heart beat and breathing patterns.

It didn't take too long for you to find the suspect of his faint pulse. His dirtied shirt, soaked in his own blood. You could barely think above the loud beating in your head, how long had he been like this?! Why did he hide it from you?! How much blood did he lose?!

"Hey..." you choked back a terrified sob, frantically patting his cheek, "Hey, 'Win, wake up..." upon realising that he was unconscious by now, you decided on the last resort. Something you never thought you'd do again.

Lifting his shirt to reveal the wound on his abdomen, you took out your pocket knife and sliced the inside of your palm, hissing as the blood trickled to his wound, you didn't know if this could do it, but if it could then you'd never disgrace your powers again. You'd be proud of them. You'd do anything, just to bring him back.

Hoping for the best, you massaged the blood in, the texture of his cut slowly smoothing out from underneath your warm palm. Good. It was working. With his skin slowly regaining colour, you could feel a heavy weight float off your chest. You sighed in relief and held his head to the crook of your neck.

"Erwin..." your face lit up at the feeling of his breath fanning your neck, he was okay. You made it in time. Your arms tightened around him, scared that if you let go for a second, he'd succumb to blood loss again.

"Y/n..." he hoarsely spoke. "You idiot..." you sniffled, "I thought I lost you." Still cradling his head, you craned your neck to look at him. His brows glistened with sweat, furrowed in confusion as his hand glossed over yours, looking for his wound.

"How...how did you- am I- ...am I dead?"-

"Shhh..." you kissed his sweaty forehead, delicately sweeping his wet bangs back. "I'll explain when we get to the campsite, but now, you have to hold onto me... yeah?"

Despite his dying confusion, he agreed, slowly regaining his composure, holding you closely as you both limped to safety.

Levi

"Y/n!" Hange rushed back in your room, Levi limp in her arms. "He's been poisoned, but it's no use, it's spreading too fast..."

As she gently laid his body onto the spread out futon, you had realised she had bought him in with the intention that you both have your last moment, before he goes.

His eyebrows scrunched up in agony, eyes closed as he subconsciously searched for the reason of his pain. He must be fully unconscious by now, the team couldn't do much. But.. what about Hange?

Was it really that hopeless? You could swear Hange was a mad scientist. You told her sarcastically, only for her to roll her eyes.

"I'm a scientist Y/n, not a doctor."

"Fine..." you sighed, rolling up your sleeves as you realised it's finally time to use something you've sworn to never bring back again. "I'll deal with it. Hange. Get a knife. And quick."

The brunette seemed to panic at your sudden request, struggling to say anything but stutters. "Hurry up! I'm not slicing him open or anything... we don't have much time!" You urged, heart pounding as Levi's eyebrows weakened, his sweat becoming cold.

With the trust that you wouldn't murder your own husband in cold blood, Hange nodded and took off in the speed of light.

Mean while you stroked Levi's cheek in an attempt to get him to wake up without fear. "Honey, if you can hear me, I want you to try and move your hand." You said, one hand holding onto his cold palm.

Just as you feared, he couldn't give you a reply, not even a twitch. The only evidence you had of his moving heart was his heaving chest, soaked in sweat. The only thing you could do now was to use your powers. The ones you've not used since... forever

There was no doubt that you were worried it wouldn't work, after all, it had been such a long time since you've used your healing abilities. Besides, Levi would go insane once he finds out about it.

Hange rushed back in, slipping onto her knees to clumsily hand you the pocket knife.

Without wasting any time, you slice your palm open and squeezed it shut, opening Levi's mouth to let the blood trickle down his throat.

You could swear that in the corner of your eyes, Hange was shitting her pants, you were feeding Levi your blood. Levi... the germaphobe. But you couldn't care less, as long as this saved him, you'd do it.

The atmosphere was heavy with pressure, from the worry that arose due to the horrified expressions both you and Hange made. If this didn't work... no! You couldn't think like that! It will work! Levi will wake up any-

A violent cough broke you out of you silent panic attack. Frantically, you propped your husband up, allowing him to wheeze his lungs out, tears stinging in the corner of his eyes.

Hange hadn't reacted, she stood at the opposite end of the futon with her mouth agape. You wasted no time in pulling Levi into your arms, rubbing his back in soothing circles. "Thank goodness... oh my god..." you mumbled, heart wrenching with what could have happened if you didn't save him in time.

"What's going on?" Levi managed to rasp out. "You we're dying of poison but Y/n slit her hand open and then"-

"Hange shut up!" You yelled, not trying to overwhelm the healing man in your arms. "Not now... later." You sighed, making note to bandage your hand.

Levi somehow didn't care about the commotion or whatever happened, he knew what you did, he could tell by looking at your bloodied palm and the drops of blood staining his tongue. He just wanted to rest. He was tired.

If it wasn't already obvious, you could tell by the sweat on his throat. He was almost completely motionless in your embrace, his chin laid still on your shoulder, his breathing finally calmed to a normal pace.

"First let's get you something to drink, you look pasty." You helped him up, having Hange assist you with the rest.

Bertholdt

"The ambulance were called."

Reiner says. As he strolls towards you and Bertholdt, the mixed colours of red and blue illuminated everyone's skin, the loud sirens giving you more to worry about since it was the most vibrant.

It's around nine PM when Bertholdt was laid onto your lap, his torso resting on your thighs and his long legs draped across the cold concrete floor.

"He's losing too much blood too fast, he won't make it." You gritted your teeth, scared of what people might do to you if they ever found out about the things you could do. Yet at the same time... your significant other's life was on the line.

"Bertholdt keep your eyes open..." your demand came out as a small desperate plead, watching as his tan skin drained of its beautiful natural hue. He nodded weakly with his eyes barely open.

You got Reiner to help you take Bertholdts police gear off, leaving him only in a blue button up shirt, the corner of his rips stained with crimson.

Cold palms unravelled his shirt to the point of the wound. You couldn't believe the speed of the leaking blood, by the time the ambulance arrived, he'd be as good as dead.

Knowing what you had to do next, you told Reiner to turn away.

"What- why?"-

"You have to..."

Conflicted with confusion, Reiner agreed anyway. He thought that maybe you needed some alone time with Bert, to do all that cheesy love confession crap before he falls unconscious.

"Listen, what I'm about to do, it may hurt a bit, but don't worry, the pain won't last that long."

After your sudden words, Bertholdt weakly sprung up, not being able to completely sit up right since he only collapsed back into your hold. "You'll be fine..."

You took a sharp weapon from the gear pockets, slicing your palm of your hand and laying it flat against his wound.

From the corner of your eyes you could see Bertholdt try to fight back, to tell you to stop cutting yourself. He was confused, shocked, in pain from the gunshot that fractured his rib cage. Yet he had lost so much blood all he could do was bat his eyelids slowly, silver eyes having no energy in them.

Your hand began to glow, beams flying into the wound of the raven haired man whom suddenly began whimpering on your lap. "Shhh, this'll all be over soon..." you mumbled into his ear and kissed his temple as an apology for the pain he was about to experience.

"Be good for me and don't move too much, hm?" You added. Slowly, you started feeling your energy drain as the bones began mending themselves from your healing, a strong, blood-covered sharp metal emerging from his open skin. The bullet had finally come out.

"Y/n!" He gasped, beads of sweat trickling down his face.

"I'm almost done..." you cringed at the pity swallowing you up. His weak groans were better than him dying, but you still couldn't help but feel scummy for causing him so much agony while he was awake.

The skin slowly began to smooth out, your thumb caressing the place where his wound was. "There." You sighed in exhaustion.

Meanwhile, Bertholdt desperately panted for air. His eyes were shut tight, as if he couldn't believe he went through that. "You did so well for me." You praised with another kiss planted on his cheek.

Even though he was blushing, his gaze wavered in disbelief, his hands fumbling to his exposed torso. "Where's... what? What did you just do?!" He heaved in an out. "Am I just dreaming or did you just-"

Your stare was kind and understanding, causing him to believe that maybe, you weren't human, he had married an angel after all. "What are you...?"

"Sh, baby the ambulance are here."

You prepared yourself for the questioning, the investigation that may happen. You knew Bertholdt would cover up for you. There's no way he wouldn't.

Reiner

It had nearly been a week when Reiner had been like this. Perhaps he was the same kind and loving person on the inside and just didn't joke around as much. He'd hide his face a majority of the time, whether subconsciously or knowingly.

The scar on his face had made him miserable. It snatched him of any laughter or humour that he'd usually be full of. Sure he'd laugh a few times, but it was huffs of nothingness, his jokes being funny to others but never to himself.

He had gotten it from his side job, while him and Jean were talking on opposite sides of a shelf, Jean hadn't realised he may have pushed a heavy box on the other side too far. And while Reiner was oblivious, staring at a weird cursed image Zeke sent him, the box full of heavy luggage landed straight onto him.

No bad damage had been done, only a large scar that drew from his hair line to his eyebrow. It made him extremely insecure. You could see it every time he was around you, how he'd cover it up with his palm, looking away in embarrassment every time you stared at it.

You never thought a man like him could get like this. It was like a middle aged housewife took over his body.

"Reiner... turn around, I like looking at your face when we cuddle." You told him, rubbing his sides comfortingly.

The blonde was sulking, his huge figure hugging his arms to himself as you spooned him. He seemed so delicate, so fragile. He hummed lightly as a negative response.

"Come on, let me see your handsome face."

This was the last grunt you would take before you rolled him onto his back, your hand sliding up to cradle his cheek. "What's wrong? You've been acting strange for the last few days."

His sad hazel eyes wandered away from yours, avoiding the shame he thought you'd put down on him.

"If this is about the scar"-

"It isn't." He cut you off. Conflicting his response when his cheeks reddened

"Come on, Rein... you're so beautiful with or without it." You said in a pleading tone. Your thumb mindlessly stroked at his cheek, silently panicking at the freckles of tears developing in his eyes.

"It's not that..."

"Then what is it?" You kissed the first drop away.

"My dad... he had a scar exactly like this somewhere on his forehead- and-" he stammered, lips barely maintaining their neutral state. "And mum... she'd would bring it up all the time, she said it was hideous and she couldn't stand looking at his face."

At last his voice cracked and brought his eyes shut, in time for the waterworks to start. You couldn't believe this, Reiner Braun, the man twice your size broke down in shambles due to a facial scarring. Yet again, this wasn't the first time he's had a breakdown. It's normal, you'll take care of him.

Although you were shocked at his sudden weeping, you brought his head to your chest, holding his arms close. "Shh, it'll be okay," you kissed his forehead.

He sniffled and hiccuped, "I-I can't do anything- with- without peopling looking directly at it!" He sobbed. "I want it gone! I just want it gone!"

While his voice muffled against your embrace, you could only think back to something you've been hiding from him. Your healing abilities. But should you really use it now? On something like a scar that didn't really change his face. He was still beautiful Reiner.

You guessed maybe he didn't think so.

Once he calmed down, you slightly broke the hug, holding his arms tight. "Look at me." He obeyed, eyebrows scrunching up in misery. "Listen, I can get rid of it... but you can't be freaked out about it."

Faster than you thought, his facial features softened in shock. But it quickly went back to sadness, "I appreciate it dove." He kissed your cheek, "but I'd rather not wear makeup."

"Hey!- not makeup... I mean I can permanently get rid of it." You held his face gently, "Even-though I'll forever love your face no matter what happens to it." He giggled lowly as you tickled his nose with yours.

"If you really want it, then I'll do it."

"But what will you do? It's impossible to get rid of it."

A smirk decorated your features. You closed your eyes with a cocky huff. "You better not tell anyone, but look what I can do."

His palm fell when you sat up. He was confused as to why you held your hand out, either way, he accepted and followed you into the bathroom where you sat him down on a still in front of the mirror.

In the cabinet there was a sharp eyebrow razor, you grabbed it and went back to staring at him through the mirror.

With a sigh you pet his hair. "Look at you, crying about your face when you're such a beautiful cutie pie." You pinched his cheek, making him close his eyes in a flustered laugh.

"Here, remember not to be shocked, I promise this'll work." He said nothing but observed as you bought the razor to your finger, suddenly cutting it. His eyes grew to the size of saucepans.

"Dove?! Hey!-"

"Shh, it's fine." You chuckled, "you probably think I've lost my mind." His confusion only grew when you brushed his hair back, rubbing your blood into the scar.

"Just close your eyes..." you mumbled, surprised he wasn't squealing and flailing around in fear. If someone did this to you you'd call the hospital in worry that they've gone insane.

It'd only take a few more minutes before you got the tissue from the marble sink, wiping at the blood to reveal baby soft skin.

Once you moved out of his line of sight, his expression twisted into pure surprise, fingers caressing the spot where the scar once was.

"What do you think? I personally like both but-uf!" You yelped when his body engulfed yours into your arms.

With his cheek rubbing at your head, he grinned uncontrollably. "I love you, I love you I love you I love you!" He squealed, "I have no idea what you just did but thank you!"

"It's no problem Rein... but could you ease up a bit? I can't breathe."

Moblit

Between the two of you, one would think that you'd be the one getting injured. But nope, the guy was too busy trying to navigate where you had gone, frustrated and terrified since the sun was starting to set faster.

If it got dark then his hopes of finding you were gone.

With his map scrunched up into a ball of useless information, he turned to face the dim sun, it was now an orange colour, dipping into the darkening sky.

He sighed, she should have never let you go by yourself.

Another minute went by as he thought about you in regret, worrying about whether he'd see you again. Would it lead up to a murder in the woods? What if someone killed you already? What if you were screaming his name, begging him to show up.

Just as he was about to take off in the millionth search for you, a sharp pain injected his ankles, causing him to cry in pain. He snapped his head downwards to see the culprit, finding a hissing snake.

Fuck, what if you got bitten too?!

By the time he collapsed onto the floor the snake had slithered off, dashing away from the harmless man it bit.

"Damn this- ah..." he moaned when a thick blanket of pain coursed through the veins of his feet, quickly pulsating to his legs. That was a venomous snake... wasn't it?!

"Mo!" All of a sudden, the pain didn't matter anymore when he heard your excited yells. Finally, at least he could die peacefully knowing you were alive the entire time.

"There you are! Look! I know exactly how we could build a- oh my god are you okay?!" You sprinted to him, fumbling for the ankle he was clutching onto to reveal two red bite marks.

Complete horror took over your excited expression, turning your gasp into a full throat scream. "That's a venomous bite!" You shrieked, "let me suck it out as an apology for taking so long!"

Moblit hastily hid his bite from you, he knew it would just get you into trouble with poison too. "I'm so sorry baby oh my god!" You cried, hugging him tightly. "I took too long, I'm so sorry!"

"Y/n, it's okay stop yelling before other snakes decide to bite our mouths off."

"I have an idea!" You panted. Moblit was still in pain, sweating excessively at this point. He watched in confusion as you folded your coat and laid him onto his back, using the folded coat as a pillow.

During this point you had panicked so much you didn't think of consequences. Instead you rolled up your sleeve and scratched deep into your wrist. The blood was a lot for a scratch and it was enough for Moblit to just suck on.

You tucked your palm under his head, propping him slightly up. "Suck my blood, it'll help I promise..." he shot you a questioning look. "HURRY JUST DO IT!" You nudged your wrist in his face. Yet... he rejected it again.

"Fucks sake we have no time!" You scolded him. Still, he didn't seem to be budging. So you bought your wrist to your mouth, sucking out enough blood to fill your mouth.

Holding his chin, your lowered your lips onto his. At this point, he was too weak to fight back, and obediently swallowed the blood you were force feeding him.

When you decided it was enough, you let him go. Afterwards wrapping his arm around your neck and carrying him back to the exit. He may be healed but the stress and exhaustion had taken all strength in him.

"Y/n?"

He woke up to the comfort of his own bed, feeling normal again- until you threw yourself on top of him. With a shocked huff, he chuckled at you.

Rubbing your face against him you cried in gratitude, "I THOUGHT YOU WOULD LEAVE ME IN THIS BORING WORLD!"

(Headcannon style)

Kenny:

•Let's say hypothetically Kenny does find out about your healing abilities. The way he'd react is to make sure no one finds out about it, he knows higher ups would want to drug and hurt you to figure out what causes this phenomenon.

•He definitely calls you his angel/healer, he can't help it- even when you're doing something as simple as wrapping a bandaid around his wrist, he'll just say it and you'll shut his mouth.

•Again, Kenny is more the free type so he doesn't really care about what you are, he's more, go with the flow type of man. So anytime you're around him and worried about him hurting himself, he'll genuinely try not to get himself injured. Since he himself is worried about others finding out about your abilities.

Authors note:

This was 4000 words long

[ackerink]

ׅ ༢ keep it or leave it? ﹒ inspired by fate & pokémon

should i keep the idea or leave it? ⠀ㅤׅ ⠀݃

〢 ׅ ݁ masters are people with the innate magic ability to summon and command servants. once a bond is made with a servant, masters are finally able to command their servants via the mark on their chests—closets to their hearts. their servants also receive this mark. servants also have magic abilities and are bound to their masters, unable to deny their commands or severe the bond they share without killing themselves.

luckily for you, your family is one of the wealthiest families in paradis thanks to the noble blood flowing through their veins. you're a master of only servant, levi. an s-rank servant. the bond you share with him is deep and pure, noticed by your family as levi is always summoned and never seems to leave your side. though the explanation behind how your two came to be bonded as master and servant are unknown to them.

your father warns you of danger though, rouge servants who serve no masters—causing chaos throughout the island and beyond. their goals are to consume magic of other servants to become stronger and stronger until they can't anymore, some even strive to destroy all masters so servants can roam free. you on the other hand find these types of servants interesting, biting off more than you can chew levi accompanies you in exploring paradis beyond the walls of your comforting life—seeing destruction and ruin for yourself while also meeting new masters and their servants.

﹒　　 starring ＃ m ackerman. h reiss. l ackerman. e smith. nanaba. e yeager. a arlert. b hoover. r braun. ymir. a leonhart. c springer. s braus. f reiss. m zacharias. e jinn. h zoë. gelgar. j kirstein. g schultz. o bozado. h ​dreyse. r reiss. g yeager. m freudenberg. m berner. k ackerman (kenny). u reiss & so many more.

﹒　　 cw ＃ master ✗ servant. fantasy violence. alternate universe. fem reader. exploitation. gore. verbal, physical & emotional abuse. manipulation. suggestive. forbidden love. childhood best friends to lovers. suicide.

ׅ 　𐚁̸ poll! keep it or leave it? ༨

[emmysmith]

😆😆😆

[kyojuuros]

Levi vs. Kenny || Round 2