#caesar (tol)

[starvoidsailor]

Not me thinking about Neros name.

It is an interesting name though, so I'll do it anyway.

There are a few famous people who were called Nero, most prominently Emperor Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, most well know for being a tyrannical leader and setting Rome on fire for a building project. With the name Nero meaning strong or vigorous and later being adapted to mean black in Italian and other European languages in some variations. We all know that, an impressive and historically charged name of a grand and slightly insane roman emperor (like Gaius, there were so many emperors who had Gaius in their name) as the perfect base for Nero tol Scaeva.

His last name, Scaeva, being derived from one of Julius Caesar's most prominent Centurion Marcus Cassius Scaeva who famously wore red. Easy, we got that down as well. Makes sense since red is his color and Gaius Baelsar was named after Julius Caesar.

But what made me wonder was his last name. We know what Nero means, depending on the angle, i.e the language, it either denotes physical stenght or the color black. But what does Scaeva mean, specifically? Even if both names were picked from ancient roman history to fit with the empires theme and somewhat arranged around Gaius correlation to Caesar, let's just wonder for a moment what Scaeva actually means. Just for the fun of it.

If you Google "what does Scaeva mean?" all you'll get are some lovely articles regarding hoverflies since their scientific name of a genus of them is Scaeva, which has nothing to do with Nero, either ours nor the roman emperor. Unfortunately a dead end.

Doing a little deep dive back into my dusty Latin Vocabulary since all roads lead back to Rome, Scaeva is indeed listed there. Well, kind of.

Scaeva was a word used to describe a certain type of gladiator in ancient Rome, just like Bestiarius or Gladiatrix. It specifically was used to refer to gladiators of any type that were left-handed.

It furthermore is also an adjective. Scaevus is the masculine baseform to look at, meaning "left" or "on the left side" but can also translate to mean "clumsy" or "unlucky" or, my personal favorite, "powerfully influenced by luck [Fortuna], for good or bad,". Scaevus is the masculine form, as said, so how is it conjugated to Scaeva? Easy, the singular nominative feminine of Scaevus becomes Scavea. Meaning that Neros lastname is the feminine version of the word, something European languages like German or Spanish and French like to do, with usually a feminine and masculine form of the word.

Now, why did I ramble about this?

Because I got tired at 1am, wondered what his lastname meant, fell down a rabbit hole or two and came back out with refreshed Latin and some headcanons regarding our dearest engineer.

Nero is left-handed but became ambidextrous during the academy for sake of outshining Cid

Nero was an accident and doesn't know his father

His lastname is his mother's

There were probably other things I found on my way I could delve into as well and maybe I will but I'll leave you guys this for now.

[diotm]

KABEDON -Caesar // a gg ress ively--

Send in "kabedon" to pin my muse against the wall. // Accepting

            Perhaps starting a conversation from tapping on her shoulder from behind was not the best method -- her body language already gave him the sense not to mess with her, but he couldn’t help himself seeing a beautiful woman. “ Mi scusi, sign--- “ Words quickly to be shut down as her body was swift to turn around, having the Male back peddling for dear life as she pushed him against the nearest wall. Pressed against it with a woman whose aura fumed. “ Wait,��signora --!! i don’t mean any harm --!!” he reassures, hands rise up in front of him to sign he wasn’t trying anything. 

[tolinkstory]

Prelude

2 of 6 - The power of Stone-chant

[ Read from beginning ]

[ Chapter Directory ]

[gingerreggg]

I love how your AU caesars are either very tol bois (alien cae, pillarman cae, celestial cae who is probably as big as the moon) or very smol bois (fairy cae, bust cae, probably mer cae too since he can't stand up). i assume muse cae is typical height?

Yes! Muse Cae is the same height as canon.

You make an excellent point anon lmao

[theolderguards]

I finally had time to watch the last 2 episodes of Spartacus, and now I’m sobbing😭😭 Probably gonna go back to the beginning and watch it all again!!

Here are some of my reactions from the episodes that no one cares about  😂😂 

3x09 

I’ll admit, I’d grown kinda irritated at Naevia, but now I feel so bad for her!! I mean, how long has she been riding, holding Crixus’ severed head?? 

Oh sweet darling Nasir, don’t worry, your boyfriend is still alive!! (honestly, if I didn’t already know that Nagron survives until the end, I would be be absolutely sobbing at this point!!!)

I have such a hard time disliking Crassus, because I look at him and all I see is the cute delivery guy from Good Omens 😂

Really Castus?? Nasir just found out that the love of his life is dead (except his isn’t) I mean I know you’re super hot and all, but just.. na-ah that’s not cool man! 

Go on, Spartacus, kill that little sh*t... or just knock him unconscious I guess??

ooooh he’s gonna make them fight in the arena?? I love it!!

AGRON!! 

ok that crucifixion looked way too real 😩😩 and the bloodcurdling scream certainly didn’t help!! 

aaah so I’m guessing Crassus will offer a trade between the survivors of Spartacus’ men and his son?? but I really want to see that little sh*t suffer!! 😠

Oh no, I refuse to feel sorry for Caesar after what he just did to Agron...

Kore sweetie please don’t fall for his lies I’m begging you!!

Wow, that shot of the Gladiators walking onto the arena before the games might just be one of the coolest shots of the whole series, literally just gave me chills!! (all that it’s missing is Agron and Crixus 😢)

Nasir looking FIERCE!! Look how far my baby has come 👏👏 *small but deadly!!

Kore really wanted to see him dead, huh?! Good on you girl!

That was almost as satisfying as Joffrey’s death

Oh my heart, that Nagron reunion 💖💖 I’m not crying I’m SOBBING!!

“SPLIT HEAVEN WITH THE SOUND OF HIS NAME!” *chills*

3x10 

“I AM SPARTACUS!” 💯💯

The fact that two episodes ago Agron was talking about how he’s only ever been a warrior, and now he can’t grip a sword anymore is so f**king harsh 💔💔

Oh Nasir, you absolute sweetheart, crafting your boyfriend a special weapon so he can fight alongside his brothers! He looks so worried about Agron wanting to fight while he’s still healing, and it’s breaking me!! Did I mention they’re my new OTP??

Am I the only one that doesn’t like Gannicus/Sibyl?? I liked him with Saxa!!

... also, not a big fan of Laeta! I miss Mira 💔

Spartacus/Agron bromance is everything!! (And wow, I didn’t realize that they’re the last two standing of the Gladiators that took down Batiatus’ ludus.. how many characters have died on this show anyway??)

Sorry Crassus, but your son was an asshole and he deserved to die!!

PLEASE DON’T KILL KORE!!!

I live for every shot that emphasizes the height difference between Agron and Nasir 😍 *tol & smol*

LUGOOOOO 💔😢

..there are certain moments during this fight where Liam looks so much like Andy and it’s messing with my head!

“YOU THERE” lmao the writer’s couldn’t be bothered to come up with a name for that character?? 😂 

NOOOO SAXA  💔💔

...oh wow they really are just killing everyone!! 😲 although I really wasn’t expecting Naevia to live with Crixus gone... but that was a cruel death!

Nooo, not Gannicus as well?? someone save him please!!!

STOP! THROWING! SPEARS! THROUGH! HIM!!!  😭😭

💔💔💔💔💔💔

“Give me a sword” Oh sweetie, no!! You aren’t going to fight anyone in your condition!!

Gannicus 💔😭 (please stop nailing my favorite characters to crosses...)

Oenomaus!!!!

The Bringer of Rain... that’s fitting 💔

I’m sad now!

(Wait, so not only did they not kill the gays... but they’re really the only survivors?? I’m impressed...)

[maerrybom]

What kind of friend are they? - Vine Edition (OC HC ft. DR NPCS)

i felt like doing this because I’m bored so here we gooo

found in masterlist

maye - the ‘i don’t need friends they disappoint me’ friend:

“you need friends ?? for what?”

maye bby, pls give attention to your friends

she’s usually forced to hang out w/ the group and socialise (thanks to Lumi), so she’s a grumpy bean

her social skills are -393493 rating so she stands there and judges everything quietly

nono also forces her to join in with shopping and maye can’t say no when there’s a gun being pointed at her back

also gets forced into wearing clothes that nono picks for her

“that dress looks so good on your figure. do you like it??” “...i want to sleep.”

sleep > friends

one time finger teased maye for her ‘bland personality’

“...so that’s what’s wrong with me?” cue finger panicking and feeling hella guilty

so finger ‘baked’ her sugar cookies the next day to apologise but maye just shrugs because it wasn’t that bad nor does she remember what happened 

“i don’t care” (she accepts them anyways)

actually cares for her friends, but won’t show it

“I care about you, don’t you feel the same?” “who knows”

but hurt her friends?? her new family ?? don’t even try unless you’d like a gun shoved up your as—

ahem,, just be wary

sol - the ‘mothertrucker dude, that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick’ friend:

she’s supportive !! loyal !! caring !!

but she’s a clumsy tol baby,,,,

trips and smashes her head against things often

finger joked about wrapping her in bubble wrap once to everyone and after realising how often she gets hurt, they’re considering the idea

when she stress cooks, she always cuts her fingers when using a knife or burns her fingers from the stove by accident

but she doesn’t pay attention because stress > own well being

pls give her bandages and emotional support

but my gOOdness, her food is heaven on a plATE

lumi and finger call her their ‘jesus mom’

she’s embarrassed but she’s v v happy when they eat her food

until the idiots decide to have a competition to see how much of her food they can eat

stress cooking = a whole buffet

“guys pls stop, you’re scaring me” “just one more bitE”

she thinks they’re going to die if they eat more, so she starts crying while she’s eating the leftovers so they don’t eat any more of her food

they instantly stop and apologise sm but crybaby sol already reached her mental breaking point so she,, just,, cries harder

this causes both dummies to cry with her

now look at what you’ve done

even from a distance, you can still hear their cries

thalia - the ‘i don’t care if you break your elbow’ friend:

yk that one vine where it went like:

“rggrhwhqAaw” “get your fckin dog bihch!” “it don’t bite” “yes it dO!”

that sums up her personality,,

stare at her for more than a sec and she’ll fight you

johann tries to stop her

keyword: tries

but if things do start getting a lil bloody, he’ll simply grab her by the waist, lifts her like an infant and walk away while she’s cursing at him and whoever she was fighting with

✨ 𝓅𝓇𝑜𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝒶𝓁 𝑒𝓎𝑒𝓇𝑜𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓇 ✨

rejects offers to hangout most of the time to train, but accepts nono’s offers no matter what

thalia actually respects and admires her a lot (what a simp)

takes every chance she gets to step on finger’s toes

‘that’s what he gets for being so tall, how dare he’

if anyone tries to ask her for advice, um why??

do you want to get hurt?? do you?

she’s brutally honest for her own good and will not put up with anyone’s bs

one time she called caesar’s hair ‘piss blonde’ and he was emo for 5 months...and counting

but tbh she can be a decent friend, but she chooses no to #there’snohope

elena - the ‘i spilled lipstick in your valentino bag’ friend:

oh, she asked to borrow your notes because she fell asleep in your alchemy class? well say goodbye because she already lost them

nobody should be getting into this much trouble in just a month

unless you’re elena,,,

lowkey needs to be tied to a pole or else she’ll cause chaos

“don’t touch that—” *breaks* “oh, I did an oopsie”

zero was ordered to watch over the girl by anjou and elena was not happy

so she tried to annoy the ice queen constantly, but zero wouldn’t budge

“go away!! you’re annoying!” “no” “listen to me and shoo!” “no”

so she gave up

she always drags lumi in her mess (much to his dismay)

“where are we going?? what did you do this time??” “I dunno, I just wanted to hang out~”

then there’s 50 adams bots chasing after the duo and they’re both screaming for their life

so lumi feels like his life span shortens every second he’s with the girl

when she saw ruri kazama for the first time, she was just ???

“you’re really pretty, but not as pretty as me!” cue johann’s disappointed expression

ngl johann thinks elena is a toned down version of caesar but he can actually tolerate her presence sometimes

just sometimes,,

but we appreciate the confidence she has?? 

[talesisjfepzgj]

By Liel

[tolkienrsb]

TRSB19: Round Up Post #4

Is the start of Autumn getting you down?  Check out these Tolkien treats...

*

Embracing the Future by @shineoftherainbow (writer) / @em-cu (artist) // Daeron is a terrible little brother, Luthien loves him anyway.

The Passing of Power by @goldenglorfindel (writer) / @princess-faelivrin // Some torches are more easily passed than others...

A Name For War (And An Arm To Match) by @bayta-darell (writer) / @maglor-still-lives // Maglor is rescued from the sea by the Roman Tenth Legion as Julius Caesar prepares to invade Britain.

Away to the Wood by @cycas (writer) / @aphrodites-bloody-rose (artist) //  An examination of the rehabilitation of dragons.

Dog Days by @keiliss (writer) / @z-h-i-e (artist) //  4th Age Tol Eressëa: three young reborn elves, two former residents of Middle-earth, one twice born elf, a wizard, and a dog from an entirely different timeline (and possibly a different dimension, who knows?) Shake well and stir.

*

Want more wonderful fic and art?  The rest of the collection is live on AO3!

[silver-grasp]

I've noticed that certain formal styles of English writing (c.f. Tolkien) are like... very similar in style to the Latin translations we wrote in class and I'm honestly betting this is not an accident like you can't tell me that Tolkien WASN'T influenced by Latin style and grammar when he wrote things like "Now it happened on a certain time that a traveller from far countries, a man of great curiosity, was by desire of strange lands and the ways and dwellings of unaccustomed folk brought in a ship as far west even as the Lonely Island, Tol Eressëa in the fairy speech, but which the Gnomes call Dor Faidwen, the Land of Release, and a great tale hangs hitherto." I'm serious you could tell me that that was a literal translation from Caesar or something and if it weren't for the elvish I'd believe you.

[kokoskandy]

hello! may i please have a matchup? i’m a bi 5’9 girl w wavy brown hair and hazel eyes. I’m sarcastic and v stubborn. Im antisocial and really independent. I have a dirty sense of humor. I don’t seem like it, but I’m kind hearted. Im always childish with my friends and I love to playfully tease them. I’m also easily jealous. My hobbies are archery, singing, and baking. I love conspiracy theories and scary shit. I also love animals. Thank you!! 💓

Ooooh.

I match you with: Yuga!

Relationship Hc’s

You might be wondering, Koko .What the actual fuck.But just hear me out.

Aoyama is low-key mysterious. conspiracies.Conspiracies 

 Sing with him till the sun goes down. 

Let him gawk at you every time he stands next to you, your so tol. let me praise you, he doesnt do that often to others. 

He takes sarcasm like a champion, will totally reply with a smart remark. 

He’s the best person to be around if your insecure.

Yuga’s gonna be the one to hold onto you during horror movies. Its super cute. 

Relationship Playlist

Daniel Caesar - We Find Love

H.E.R - Best Part

Trevor Wesley - Chivalry is dead

Blackbear - Princess Complex

afterparty - numb

Tired - out of touch

Relationship board 

[wri0thesley]

just here to drop off the headcanon that caesar has a soft spot for a size difference with his so, thank you for your time

i just love size differences in general tbh!!!! im smol and my faves are tol and i write self-insert partly so i can imagine a life w/ my faves c’:

[stanggubbels]

Hand werpen in Antwerpen, A6 kaart gezeefdrukt door Gezeever Antwerpen met hun 5 jarig jubileum, Hi5! Geen enkel volksverhaal is zo vaak verder verteld als dat van de herkomst van de stadsnaam van Antwerpen. Volgens de legende werd kasteel ’t Steen aan de rand van de Schelde bewoond door de verschrikkelijke reus Druon Antigoon. Elke schipper die voorbij voer, moest tol betalen aan de reus. Wie weigerde verloor zijn hand. Antigoon was zo berucht, dat het verhaal zelfs Julius Caesar bereikte. Deze stuurde één van zijn dapperste veldheren naar Antwerpen: Silvius Brabo. Klein maar dapper is een gezegde dat hier wel op zijn plaats is, want Brabo ging Antigoon te lijf en slaagde erin zijn hand af te hakken. Boontje komt om zijn loontje. Met een grote boog zwierde Brabo de afgehakte hand de Schelde in, en gaf zo de stad aan de oever haar naam: van Hand-werpen kwam Antwerpen.

[themortallivinggod]

Slave Narratives Volume XVI: Texas Narratives—Part 3 Virginia Newman Virginia Newman was freeborn, the daughter of a Negro boat captain and a part Negro, part Indian mother. When a young girl, Virginia apprenticed herself, and says she was nursegirl in the family of Gov. Foster, of Louisiana. She does not know her age, but says she saw the "Stars fall" in 1833. She has the appearance of extreme old age, and is generally conceded to be 100 years old or more. She now lives in Beaumont, Texas. "When de stars fall I's 'bout six year old. They didn' fall on de grou'. They cross de sky like a millions of firebugs. "My fus' name Georgia Turner, 'cause my pappy's name George Turner, and he a freeborn nigger man. He's captain of a boat, but they call 'em vessels them days. It have livin' quarters in it and go back and forth 'tween dis place and dat and go back to Africy, too. "My grandmudder, she an Africy woman. They brung her freeborn from Africy and some people what knowed things one time tol' us we too proud but us had reason to be proud. My grandmudder's fambly in Africy was a African prince of de rulin' people. My udder grandmudder was a pure bred Indian woman and she raise all my mudder's chillen. My mudder name Eli Chivers. "When I's small I live with my grandmudder in a old log cabin on the ribber, 'way out in de bresh jus' like de udder Indians live. I's born on my fadder's big boat, 'way below Grades Island, close by Franklin, in Louisiana. They tells me he carry cargo of cotton in de hull of de boat, and when I's still li'l they puts out to sea, and grandmudder, Sarah Turner her name, tuk us and kep' us with her in de cabin. "Us didn' have stick of furniture in de house, no bed, no chair, no nothin'. Us cut saplings boughs for bed, with green moss over 'em. Us was happy, though. Us climb trees and play. It was hard sometime to git things to eat so far in de woods and us eat mos' everything what run or crawl or fly outdoors. Us eat many rattlesnake and them's fine eatin'. We shoot de snake and skin him and cut him in li'l dices. Den us stew him slow with lots of brown gravy. "They allus askin' me now make hoe-cake like we et. Jus' take de cornmeal and salt and water and make patties with de hands and wrop de sof' patties in cabbage leafs, stir out de ashes and put de patties in de hot ashes. Dat was good. "One my grandfadders a old Mexican man call Old Man Caesar. All de grandfolks was freeborn and raise de chillen de same, but when us gits big they tell us do what we wants. Us could stay in de woods and be free or go up to live with de white folks. I's a purty big gal when I goes up to de big house and 'prentice myself to work for de Fosters. Dey have big plantation at Franklin and lots of slaves. One time de Governor cripple in de leg and I do nothin' but nuss him. "I's been so long in de woods and don' see nobody much dat I love it up with de white folks. Dey 'lowed us have dances and when dat old 'cordian starts to play, iffen I ain't git my hair comb yit, it don't git comb. De boss man like to see de niggers 'joy demselves. Us dance de quadrille. "Us have 'ceptional marsters. My fadder sick on Marster Lewis' plantation and can't walk and de marster brung him a 'spensive reclinin' chair. Old Judge Lewis was his marster. "I git marry from de plantation and my husban' he name Beverly Newman and he from de Lewis plantation in Opelousas. They read out'n de Book and after de readin' us have lots of white folks to come and watch us have big dance. "When a nigger do wrong den, they didn' send him to de pen. They put him 'cross a barrel and strop him behin'. "When fightin' 'gin, all our white folks and us slaves have to go 'way from Louisiana. Opelousas and them place was free long time 'fore de udders. Us strike out for Texas and it took mos' a year to walk from de Bayou la Fouche to de Brazos bottoms. I have to tote my two li'l boys, dat was Jonah and Simon. They couldn' neither walk yit. Us have de luggage in de ox cart and us have to walk. Dey was some mo' cullud people and white and de mud drag de feetses and stick up de wheels so dey couldn' even move. Us all walk barefeets and our feets break and run they so sore, and blister for months. It cold and hot sometime and rain and us got no house or no tent. "De white folks settles in Jasper county, on a plantation dere. After while freedom come to Texas, too, but mos' de slaves stay round de old marsters. I's de only one what go back to Louisiana. After de war my fambly git broke up and my three oldes' chillen never see de li'l ones. Dose later chillen, dey's eight livin' now out'n nine what was born since slavery and my fourth chile die seven year ago when she 75 year old. "When I git back to Louisiana I come to be a midwife and I brung so many babies here I can't count. De old priest say I ought to have a big book with all their names to 'member by. "It were 'bout dis time I have my fur' bought dress and it was blue guinea with yaller spots. It were long at de ankle and make with a body wais'. Us wore lots of unnerwear and I ain't take 'em off yit. "I never been sick, I's jus' weak. I almos' go blin' some time back but now I git my secon' sight and I sees well 'nough to sew."

[fajanuta]

2019 itu....

I would say my 2019 was..... amazing

Awal tahun 2019 rasanya..... Berat. Bokap gak ngasih nafkah, diminta uang kuliah aja susah. Akhirnya muter otak mikirin biaya kuliah sendiri di semester akhir kemarin 

Fyi memang dr jaman sekolah dulu, aku selalu mikir utk kerja di smt 8. Selain bantu cari uang, jg biar CV gak kosong dg punya pengalaman kerja. Jadilah awal tahun 2019 aku ngelamar2 kerja dan Alhamdulillah...... 

Bulan Februari interview, Maret langsung kerja sebagai Content Writer. That was great moment I've had this year!

Teman2nya SUPERRRR LUAR BIASA BAIKKKK BANGET GAK NGERTI LAGI Sebagai orang yg baru pertama kali kerja kantoran, suasana nya bener2 bersahabat dan harmonis sekali. Atasan2nya pun unik. Beban kerja jangan ditanya. Luar biasa juga ...

Maret pertama kali kerja. Maret juga pertama kali kuliah semester 8. Saat itu tinggal satu matkul kewirausahaan dan skripsian, jadi aku mencar dari temen2 kelasku yg nemenin aku selama 3,5tahun kemarin, yg luar biasa seperti keluarga, yg rasanya I'd never found kind of friends like them anymore.

Mereka unik2 banget. Helpful dan bersahabat. You won't regret to be a friend with my friends too. They’re all great! 

Lalu kita mencar dan aku pindah kelas supaya bisa menyesuaikan dg jam kerja .

And unpredictably, sampai bulan Juli kuliahku lancar jaya. Alhamdulillah. Dapet dosen kwh yg baik dan skripsiku jg luar biasa mulus kayak jalan tol luar biasa sekali lah dospem dan dostek ku itu. Aku gak pernah dapet revisian yg berarti, cuma minor revisi yg tidak menyulitkanku. Bahkan BAB 4 ku kelar dlm 2x pertemuan. Aku. Senang. Dan. Bangga. Luar. Biasa. 

Awal Juli, saat entrepreneur day, aku mengajukan sidang. Awalnya senang karena bisa ikut sidang pertama or at least yg kedua Tapi... Tiba2.... 

Malam hari (maghrib bahkan) perutku kesakitan. Kram bukan main. Sampai jam 11 malam akhirnya aku berobat dan aku dinyatakan...... Usus buntu.

Nightmare, indeed. Harusnya aku sidang tapi malah harus terbaring di RS.

Sambil menjalani proses menuju operasi, dokter bedah menyarankan aku periksa rahim karena khawatir ada penyakit lain dan... Yeah.... Ternyata.... Ada kista juga di rahimku.

Worst thing I've ever had in my life. Rasanya dunia kayak runtuh. Gak ngerti dan gak tau lagi harus gimana. Cuma bisa nangis saat diperiksa sampe susternya bilang, "Mbak, kalo apa2 jangan sendiri ya. Ajak keluarganya" iya saat itu aku sendirian.

Susahhh banget nerima hal itu. Bener2 susah sampe akhirnya sholat, dzikir, baca Qur'an nenangin diri. Pikiranku kalut gakaruan.

Sidang skripsiku gimana.....

Kerjaanku gimana.... (saat itu udh izin sakit seminggu)

Masa depanku gimana....

Bisakah aku punya anak nantinya..... 

Tp setelah sholat, dzikir dan baca Qur'an akhirnya aku tenang. Aku mencoba menerima dan menjalani semuanya dengan ikhlas.

Akhirnya hari operasi pun tiba.

15 Juli 2019

Hari yg gak akan pernah aku lupakan. Operasi jam 1 siang, selesai jam stg 4 sore, bius hilang jam 5an.

Di dalam ruang operasi aku disuntik di bagian tulang belakang karena bius sebagian. Setelah daerah kebawah sampe kaki udah kesemutan, aku langsung direbahkan.

Saat itu aku lagi datang bulan. Dan ada dokter koass yg membantu dokter bedah dan dokter kandungan. Masih muda. Dan jujur, aku risih.

Aku di bedah dua kali. Di bagian rahim dan usus buntu. Bekas operasi usus buntu nya sih kecillll banget kayak bekas luka biasa tp bekas operasi di rahim ini mirip banget sama orang caesar. Panjang gitu 

Jadi aku merasakan caesar duluan sebelum melahirkan:( 

Cuman Alhamdulillah, saat operasi, dokter kandungannya bilang indung telurku keduanya selamat, normal dan baik2 saja. Jadi insya Allah secara biologis, aku masih subur untuk memiliki keturunan.

Pas 2 minggu setelah operasi, aku nekat ngantor. Naik motor sama aa pacarku tersayang. Trus jahitannya bengkak :))))

Aku bedrest lagi deh seminggu. 

Belum genap satu bulan operasi, tepatnya pada 31 Juli 2019 aku sidang skripsi. Alhamdulillah bisa dapat freepass karena jahitan operasinya sakittttt banget jadi dipermudah dan dibantu panitia.

Lalu ada drama baru. H+ satu bulan setelah aku operasi, tepatnya 15 Agustus 2019. Aku dipecat. 

Chill... Bukan cuma aku tp semuanya. Karena project ditutup dan kita semua jadi jobless mendadak:))) 

Alhamdulillah dapat gaji, dapat pesangon 1x gaji. Lumayan yah wajib bersyukur.

Udah deh, di bulan September aku kumpul sm keluarga besarku di Demak dan kenalan sm keluarga di Kebumen Hikmah jadi jobless, bisa ikut keluarga mudik seminggu lebih hehehe.

Dan 28 September 2019 aku wisudaa~~

Dua hari sebelum wisuda, aku ikut aksi dong hahahaha. Pulang jam 12 malam ditemenin Edy ketum BEM FBS ku. Temen-temenku pada khawatir. Asli aku nekat banget. Cewek yang kenal Cuma Sarah.

Mana aksinya ricuh. Gas airmata sampe nyesek banget dan aku muntah. Temen-temen ngomelin aku supaya aku gak nekat begitu lagi. Sayang banget sama mereka<3

Yaudah deh sepanjang Oktober dan November kuisi dengan kerja Freelance sambil interview sana sini. Dan akhirnya di akhir bulan November, tepatnya 25 November 2019 aku ngajar di sekolah yang pake kurikulum internasional. (aku gatau sih apakah bisa disebut sebagai international school atau enggak karena mereka tetap pakai K13 juga.

Dan di sanalah aku bener-bener ngerasain ruwetnya jadi guru. To all teachers, aku salut sih. Gaji gak seberapa (even di international school, gajinya bahkan gak sampe separuhnya UMR) tapi kalian rela ngurus anak orang, administrasinya, dan lain sebagainya.

Itu semua ribet. Banget. Asli. Aku gak sanggup guys.

Udahlah K13 ribet, kurikulum Singapore juga ribet. Harus bikin narrative report per anak. PR banget lah pokoknya.

Biarpun ngajar, tapi aku tetap menjalani Freelance Content Writer yg bahkan gajinya lebih besar daripada jadi guru full time. Sedih ya jadi guru.

Sampai suatu hari di pertengahan Desember, aku kembali dapat tawaran untuk menjadi Full Time Content Writer di salah satu perusahaan media.

Disitulah aku galau, kalut dan kebingungan. Bingung antara melanjutkan mimpi menjadi penulis atau melanjutkan profesi sebagai guru yang mana sesuai dengan background pendidikanku.

Aku mulai konsultasi sana sini. Curhat sana sini. Cerita semua yang terjadi di sekolah ke keluarga. Sampe akhirnya aku istikharah, dan hatiku semakin mantap memililh. Bahkan rasanya tenang dengan pilihan itu.

Yakni, aku merasa aku harus kembali ke habitatku. Aku merasa di sanalah tempatku. Iya, aku memilih untuk melanjutkan mimpiku sebagai penulis.

Dan fyi... resign dari sekolah itu susah. Ada kontrak yang mengikat dan semacamnya. Tapi aku akan berjuang demi potensi dan mimpiku yang sebenarnya.

Yah, bisa dilihat kan perjuanganku di 2019 ini luar biasa bikin speechless. Aku sendiri gak nyangka bisa melewati itu semua.

Ditambah, sebenarnya tahun 2019 ini hubunganku dengan Aa agak berat untuk dijalani. Ego kami sama-sama besar. Aa orang yang Koleris, keras dengan pendiriannya. Sementara aku Melankolis, yang butuh diberi kelembutan.

Lebih tepatnya sih, hubunganku dengan Aa agak berat semenjak aku operasi waktu itu. Banyak problem, sampe dia gak bisa nemenin karena baru pindah kerja. Deadline sampe nginep. Jadi aku merasa gak disayang wkwkwk

Tapi yasudah itu berlalu. Mulai pertengahan November hubunganku dengan Aa sudah mulai baik-baik aja. Aa gak defensif lagi dan bisa lebih lembut dalam memperlakukan aku. Semoga terus begitu ya A’!

Aku pun jadi belajar bahwa gak ada hubungan yang sempurna. Aku dan Aa sama-sama memiliki kekurangan. Apalagi kepribadian kita bertolak belakang banget.

Aku orang yang disiplin, sigap and well organized. Sementara dia orang yang cuek, hobi begadang dan bangun siang, plus kelewat santai.

Pusing gak nyatuinnya?

But yeah, in the end we can get through this, to? Bahkan bisa membuat kita lebih baik lagi dalam memahami satu sama lain.

And btw, minggu depan kita 2 tahun!!! Semoga bisa terus melewati tahun-tahun bersama ya A’!

Jadi inget guruku pernah bilang kalau berpasangan itu memang seperti panci dengan tutupnya. Berbeda, tapi saling melengkapi.

[maerrybom]

behoandjwkwke I have ?? like three ???? im juSt going to to smh talk about all of them:

sol (soul dancer):

she and luminous once cried together in public because they learned that rhinos make squeaking noises to call for their friends when they’re lost (and the amount of looks they got...yikes)

sol is a tol girl, so she has smacked her head against things so often that she doesn’t even notice the pain anymore. caesar experienced this once and was very concerned, but sol was confused and just smiled at him. caesar bought her a helmet because of this.

would often stress cook,, luminous and finger would usually eat her cooking and practically be on the ground slowly dying from eating so much,, food is too good but sol is even more stressed that her friends are dying on her fLOOr

maye (gunslinger):

ever since maye lost her memories, she’s never been the same. she would often get headaches and turn sour & moody for the rest of the day, but johann thought she just ate something sour and offered her candy to ‘sweeten up a little’—she was mad but she took them anyways cuz she has a sweet tooth (and respects johann too much to hit him)

she’s never honest with her feelings but when she is, she’ll tell you the cold hard truth with no hesitation. she hates liars more than anything and will call you out on your bullsh*t, pointing the gun at your face #/exposed

maye has 2 extra skills: destruction and copycat. however EX copycat isn’t registered on her profile due to its unknown capabilities. but,, EX destruction allows her to destroy living & non-living things by the touch of her fingers, so she needs to wear special gloves for safety precautions since it’s unstable. because of this, she tends to avoid physical touches in fear of accidentally destroying someone into pieces. Though, maye longs for someone to hold her hand (even for once) :(

thalia (blademaster):

absolute demon! she tried to fight the sun because it ‘looked’ at her funny. someone please hold her down. please.

basically nono #2 but make her x200 angry. everything irritates her to the core and doesn’t like to be told what to do. when luminous asked her to buy erii some milk, she went ahead to buy it and returned back to only throw it at his face. luminous was traumatised and erii laughed at him.

every time luminous insulted himself, thalia would insult him even harder. it happens so often that luminous stopped insulting himself (at least around her). Was thalia trying to make him realise something? Who knows? Noone will ever know what thalia is thinking because she probably already killed them :/ typical thalia.

Tell me about your main character!

headcanons, show me their pics, basically anyhing! <3

I already made my own headcanons here

[capitolhost]

positivity for @roseruin !!     ..... okay okay i wanted to make this positivity month all beautiful and with cute pictures and then i googled adam and ... this picture came up somewhere in the search results. what. a. nerd. no seriously, i have followed you from everywhere and on every account you got and you have been ever so welcoming no matter whether you knew it was me or not (unless you have amazing abilities and juST KNOW). but yes i ?? adore you on the two characters i got the chance to follow you on. i got to be honest with you though ,,,, both adam and brienne are 2 tol for caesar and he is still offended about being turned into a mirror for ten years plus ♡