#camilla valley farm

[elisa6102]

unlocked the theaters for the first time

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

inspired by the "Lance and Magnus reacting to cheesy magic-based flirts and occasional comments on their 'wand' from their spouse"

hc that the lovely magic-using bachelors Magnus and Lance tend to use temporary soundproofing charms on the farm house bedroom before certain.. activities..

after particularly long/stressful days for Magnus and Lance, they may return home and quickly start working on placing that temporary charm, with the farmer immediately understanding what events are about to occur and sitting up eagerly like "👀"

...I can imagine a quiet "ah" of slight-intimidation if they see that their husband is making the charm stronger than usual, and also reinforcing it to hold for longer-

- 🐇

🌚

Heeheeheee.... (Have some a little crappy short stories and thanks for the ask, bunny anon! ❤️🫰)

Warning: adult talk, mention of sex

_________________________________________

Yoba knows Magnus had put up with it for a long time, probably longer than any of his colleagues had to deal with Camilla, his friend and colleague, who also happened to be the head witch of Castle Village. He had tolerated all her idiotic nicknames for him, all her silly pranks, tolerated everything as long as she was doing her job perfectly.

But to openly disrupt an important meeting with the heads of the Ministry of Magic was too much. And the fact that many people looked at Magnus as if he was to blame for Camilla's behavior (what is he, her babysitter?!) was the last straw in Magnus's patience. Naturally, Rasmodius was in a foul mood.

"Blasted woman! How can one behave childishly at important councils...?" Magnus wanted to tell his spouse absolutely everything what he thought about Camilla, this frivolous and ill-mannered witch with her ridiculous puns and teasing, but Farmer's deft fingers, which massaged his tired shoulders and neck, made his tirade evaporate.

"Tough day, hmm?" Farmer's sympathetic voice immediately soothed their purple-haired lover. They listened to Magnus' purr with delight as the wizard's tense muscles relaxed under the skillful fingers. Finishing the massage, the Farmer added, "Perhaps I can help you relax?"

Opening his eyes, Magnus smiled blissfully at his love and kissed them gratefully.

"Yes, I think you can help me with that. I'll be right back."

The wizard rose from the kitchen table and headed for the second floor, where their bedroom was located. The Farmer didn't pay much attention to it and went back to pleasant tea drinking, waiting for Magnus to return. But what caught the attention of Stardew Valley's most chaotic farmer was the familiar red light from the bedroom and the sounds of a spell that made the Farmer's eyes widen slightly.

Oh, they know exactly what it is.

For them two, making love to relieve stress, to relax, or just when they're in a good mood is quite ordinary, but a couple of months ago Magnus (even though he and Farmer had been together for a long time - it was not without some embarrassment) suggested to 'spice up' their.... activity in bed with a couple of magic tricks. The young Farmer still didn't understand how it worked, but the result was noticeable - their night "runs" could last quite a long, long time, and without any noise complains from the neighbors.

Farmer was pouring tea now and then, squelching a little louder than usual and not taking their eyes off the stairs that led to the bedroom. The light, however, in addition to the red hues, had turned a more burgundy color, which surprised them. After a moment, Magnus finally came back down to the kitchen, his fatigue gone and a sly grin on his face that made Farmer shudder, either from anticipation and excitement.

"Something wrong with the spell, dear?" Farmer's voice trembled slightly as Magnus stepped up to them and kissed their neck gently. His thick beard pleasantly tickled Farmer's tender skin.

"On the contrary, my love. I've decided to add a few extra hours and stronger soundproofing when we get started." Now, Rasmodius gave them a very sly and playful smile, enjoying watching the Farmer's reaction and how they exhaled a single 'oh'.

Never would Farmer have thought that they would be in any way grateful to Camilla for pissing Magnus off again with her teasing and stupid jokes.

_________________________________________

A whole week on duty in Castle Village.... Lance understood perfectly well the seriousness of the situation with the monsters and was always ready to help Alesia and other adventurers. Yet a whole week away from the Stardew Valley, place that had become his home... Away from the farm, away from the green trees and flowers. Away from the person he loved. For a whole week.....

The second-in-command of The First Slash clan was so focused on the mission that it wasn't until the end of the week, back home on the farm, that he felt his own tired muscles and homesickness. Especially for the Farmer.

He didn't catch Farmer at home, though, only a note that they would be back from Pelican Town soon and a plate of still-hot and delicious tropical curry. Lance finished his meal with relish, but he found himself worrying about his last mission: although it had been a success, the unpleasant residue of defending the post from monsters was still there.

All bad thoughts immediately vanished, however, when the front door opened and a familiar silhouette appeared on the threshold.

"Welcome back, Lance." Ah, the Farmer's embrace, which the tired pink-haired adventurer missed so much, the voice of his favorite person that made him smile sincerely. If it had been Lance's will - he would have spent hours on end listening only to Farmer, their stories of adventures, work on the farm or just chattering about everything. Today, however, he also planned to hear other sounds from his dearest spouse... mostly moans.

Lance told the Farmer briefly about how his week in Castle Village had gone. After finishing the story, both of them decided to finally enjoy each other's company, leaving all the bad thoughts behind.

"Any plans for tonight?", the Farmer trailed their hands over Lance's back, watching him sink from the touch and caress.

"Hmmm... I think I have an idea." Lance smiled radiantly at Farmer and kissed them on the lips, slow and sweet. Pulling away from his partner's lips, he continued, "Why don't you wait in the living room for five minutes? I'll call you soon."

A little less than five minutes had passed when there was the sound of magic in the next room, a sound that was very familiar to the Farmer. It was no longer a secret to them that many wizards and witches use various things from the magical world for their love needs, and it wasn't limited to simple love spells or love potions. There's a lot deeper here than it seems, because magical people are people too, and they too want to diversify their pleasurable time in bed. Lance was no exception.

A moment later, though, Farmer also saw a purple light exploring from the bedroom, which was new to them. Before they could think what that might mean, Lance appeared right behind the Farmer, putting his arm around their waist. Teleport, of course.

"I was thinking that stronger soundproofing for the bedroom will be necessary tonight," Lance whispered in their ear and bit the lobe slightly with his teeth, listening with pleasure to the hitched breathing of his favorite person. With impatience and anticipation of an unforgettable night, the farmer's heartbeat quickened.

"I missed you so much," the pink-haired man whispered again, finally taking his dearest spouse to their bed.

[dabblingreturns]

Rotating the cannon house skeleton servents and by extention teaxher in my head this morning.

Like, Johnny and co were trying to create NPC.

And they were very important for setting the tone of cannan house as "peaceful" or atleast minimizing PvP violence.

Sorry I keep using gaming terms but since cannan house lyctor trials feels like it was crinbed from video games. Don't feel bad.

But without all of the labor to make the food good and place clean, All the house scions would have had feild rations. The ninth would have been fine if smelly but Colum would have spent all his time on laundry. And Corona and babs would probably have wondered off to hunt or farm. And the fourth and fith would have joined them.

Judith and Marta would have tried to guard food dispenser.

And the sixth would be busy providing first aid.

It would have John's horror puzzle game into Stardon't valley.

But it would be worse than that, because the lyctor trials were designed to help convince both the necromancer and the cav that the cavs were more usefull dead then alive. That's why the cavs were left at such a loose end.

Column was kept close as a spar battery. And Camilla stayed close for both safety and science reasons. And Issac wouldnt go down the hatch. But every other necromancer left thier cav to wander around and do nothing for a significant portion of time.

And gideons narration showed that she was board and lonly. And that's how it was supposed to work.

And most of the servents couldn't be allowed to talk or the more charismatic cavs could have pumped them for information, like shipment times or food reserves. The servents needed to be truly non entities yet capable of doing skilled labor such laundry sorting or cleaning.

In that john needed really advanced robots. Like he needed WALL-E and since he has presumably watched WALL-E he knows all the ways that could go wrong.

Or ge needs to enslave people for ever.

And what do you he's a necromancer. How convent. So he and his friends do one of the most horrifying acts and slavery Ives ever encounter in any media.

And he finally succeeded in the dream of all slavery, he turns people into non entities.

Untill stupid, foolish, obsessive judith manages to free them. Good job judith!

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 1

oooh and now we have another countdown - this time its five days until the tomb opens! which is both concerning and mildly confusing given Harrow already opened the tomb

and a new image for the chapter header - not an animal skull or a skull at all but a cave with chains over it! presumably representing the tomb itself which in of itself is very intriguing

‘Late in the year of nobody she really thought of in particular’ hah, take that John

ok so Nona’s dreaming of a painted face … the first two immediate options that come to mind are Gideon and Harrow, clearly. in a body of water, could it be the River? or possibly, if the ‘her’ in ‘her hands’ she’s talking about is Alecto, it could be the saltwater of the tomb?

so far the first thing thats struck me is just how sweet the relationship between Nona and Camilla is 

‘A beaker of violently orange liquid, radioactively orange even in the dark’ what the fuck kinda eggs are these guys eating

and Nona has black hair! very long black hair which grows fast, which very much suggests that this is Harrow’s body, given what Ianthe did to her hair last book. this also pretty much rules out another initial theory i had for Nona, which was that she might have been in Gideon’s body, since we know that was picked up by the BoE last book

and another point for being some kind of amnesiac Harrow - Nona appears to have a lot of issues with eating 

Okay … so Camilla and Pal are sharing Camilla’s body, kind of a reverse of Gideon-in-Harrow last book, but not quite given that they somehow seem to have swapped each-others eye colours. it’s not just that they’re sharing a body, since Gid & Harrow explicitly retained their own eye colours, but some kind of other situation

hmm Nona seems relatively upbeat, but there’s a lot of conversation about militia links and black market goods, life wherever they are doesn’t seem all that great tbh

and they’re hiding something about the overall situation they’re in from Nona, and its very unclear whose side they’re on. given the end of the last book, the fact they seem to be in some kind of hiding on a non-House planet, I doubt they’re fully with the Emperor/Nine Houses. but then they definitely don’t seem to be onboard with, and have a very uneasy relationship with, the Blood of Eden, especially given the whole kinda-Lyctorhood situation they’ve got going on. 

and there’s an awful lot going on here. they keep mentioning a search and recovery mission, which begs the question for what exactly are they looking for. it can’t be the Tomb or anything because its pretty well known where THAT is. and Pal and Pyrrha have very different philosophies on whatever’s happening - Pal seems to want to help some kind of situation with people trapped in barracks, while Pyrrha thinks its not worth it. and on top of all of that BoE is not quite one cohesive group as it was described in HtN, there’s some kind of inter-organisational conflict going on. 

‘I know how to farm … I can teach you and Nona’ rip G1deon who never got to live his Stardew Valley dreams. Locked Tomb: the Farming Simulator when?

also it is interesting that even G1deon, seemingly the most loyal of the Emperor’s lyctors (or at least the only one seemingly not actively trying to kill him) still had a backup plan and wanted to run away to just lead some kind of a normal life

and they need masks of some kind? and Nona’s immune - more points for her being Harrow, or at least in Harrow’s body, Nona’s body clearly works like a Lyctors 

oh shit there’s a mysterious blue light in the sky that’s ‘periscoping’? It could be some kind of surveillance but i think its far more likely to be the seventh Resurrection Beast, which is there for … some reason? Lotta questions raised just in this one chapter

[reallyghostlypost]

[Fic] A new friend

Part two of this fic.

It was evening, the sun has already started to set. Aside from a patrol around the lake area to make sure no monsters came out of the mines during the yesterday blizzard Marlon could hole in the warm guild for the night. He picked up his lantern and made sure it had enough fuel for his trip but just as he stepped outside the door the now too familiar sound stopped him in his tracks. A weird gargle, like water being poured out of bottle, mixed with the whispers of a distant conversation greeted him. He sighted and tried to locate the spirit, but it was impossible to distinguish white feathers on the snowy background.

Then a small glint at his feet caught his attention. Marlon bent down and picked up a small old silver coin. The, what, fifth one this week? Fittingly, this one had an owl engraved on it. The odd noise became more enthusiastic, a slight screech like a window swinging in the wind joining the other sounds. Well, at least he now knew where the owl was. Lifting his head up he met pitch black eyes looking down at him from the roof as he noticed a sweet scent like distant flowers surrounding him for a short second.

The owl was looking insistently at him, puffing it's feather up as another gurgle came out of it. Marlon decided a change of plans was in order. Camilla was right, maybe just speaking with the source of the problem would clear up a lot of things.

"Easier said than done." Marlon grumbled. Thad was surprisingly good at avoiding them or shooting down any conversation if they managed to corner him. But Marlon never wanted to see a bloody mangled lava bat on his pillow with the owlet standing triumphantly on top of it ever again. Besides it was still a little too early for his patrol since most monsters would come out after nightfall, even if he really wanted to find an excuse to finish his duties earlier to get out of the cold. He pocketed the silver coin and headed to the old stairs leading down to the lake ignoring the desperate noises coming from behind him, now sounding like someone was drowning and screaming at the same time.

It was already dark by the time he reached the entrance of the farm. He didn't cross the wards that reeked of blood, just waited a step outside of them. The light of his lantern was barely allowing him to see the now paved road leading to the farmhouse. And sure enough *it* appeared. A tall scarecrow moving slowly approached the entrance and like Marlon stopped completely still just before the threshold. Long wooden claws were coming out of the hay of its arms and the old clothes covering them, and rows and rows of sharp wooden fangs could be seen in its constantly open mouth. Blank coal eyes prevented Marlon from figuring out what was going on in the thing's head, although he could guess most of it.

He remembered when Thad first built his scarecrows, they were shorter than him and looked slightly goofy. They had no mouths or hands or feet. But now... this one was towering over him, more than a head taller. Its long limbs had joints now bending in wrong directions. It was covered in blood and fresh meat was still clinging to its fangs. Marlon lifted his lantern further and barely managed to spot the kill down the road. The green tail and yellow whisker could only mean a flying serpent. They shouldn't even be in the valley in the first place, especially in such freezing weather.

He saw a white shape move in a tree to his left and his eye darted to it. But before he could focus on the branches the scarecrow lunged trying to grab him, and Marlon with his battle trained reflexes barely managed to step out of reach. Dead eyes were staring at him as the scarecrow was now once again unmoving, with its arm still outstretched and bloody hand clenched where his cape was less than a second ago. Surprisingly fast, and if the mangled body of that serpent was anything to go by, just as deadly.

Looking up at the tree again he noticed the white owl. It gave him and the scarecrow an angry glare and started screaming loudly while flapping its short wings, sounding like an entire flock of bats screeching at the same time. Marlon took a few steps back from the wards just to be sure that the scarecrow couldn’t reach him and tried to cover his ears, feeling a headache forming. At least he didn't had to think up a way to draw out Thad's attention without having to fight his scarecrows. Thad was awfully protective of those nightmares.

"All right, all right, I'm coming! Stop screaming at me!" came from somewhere on the farm. The owl happily made that gargled whispering sound again and flew towards the voice. The scarecrow moved its head from Marlon to it without changing its position, carefully watching it fly above, probably trying to figure out if it could catch it mid-flight.

Shortly after, Thad appeared down the road, clutching the owlet in his hands, its dark eyes looking at Marlon angrily from between his fingers. Marlon had a dizzy feeling, like the trees around him were moving in a strong wind, loud whispers erupting from every creaking branch. Thad probably noticed, because he closed his hands, completely covering those irritated eyes, and Marlon's head cleared immediately. He was used with the bird by now and wasn't bothered by it any longer, but he also never had to deal with it being this angry before.

Thad reached the entrance, took a look at the scarecrow's still outstretched arm, removed his top hand from the owl and slapped it down. The scarecrow looked at him blankly before looking down at the owl who flattened itself in Thad's hand as much as possible. "Birch", came Thad's warning and with a last longing look towards Marlon the scarecrow walked back to the dead serpent. Marlon was sure it was only a matter of time before Thad was found in the same state as that serpent, eaten by his own demonic scarecrows.

"You're still terrorizing this poor thing, Marlon?" Marlon finally moved his eye from the bush covering most of the serpent's corpse and its killer back to Thad who was once again clutching the owl with both of his hands.

"I'm just curious about what it wants. It's been following us everywhere for the past two months." The owl started chirping at Thad, whispers mingled with a fast stream of water, fluffing it's feathers up. Only now Marlon realized that one face was making the water sound while the other was whispering.

"It likes the guild and wants to nest there. It has gotten more desperate because it's winter now and it still doesn't have a place to stay. That's why it's leaving you stuff, as a way of convincing you to let it stay there." The owl looked expectantly at Marlon, fluffing up as much as possible, doubling its small size.

"And the dead bats?" The chirping started again enthusiastically.

"It wants to prove to you it can kill monsters too." Marlon sighted. He couldn't believe he was actually feeling guilty for not letting an unknown spirit live with him.

"Come on Marlon, you already got used with its presence. Why not let it nest there?" And Thad shifted the ball of feathers in his hands, holding it out for Marlon. The owl's fuzzy legs were dangling down, sharp black claws visible through white feathers. A small wing was coming out from between Thad's fingers and Marlon noticed that its wings had claws too, just as sharp and tiny as the ones on its feet.

The owl looked delighted at Marlon and the sweet smell of flowers appeared again. Reluctantly Marlon lifted his hand and received the little bird. It was unusually warm, almost hot enough to burn skin. It gurgled in his hand a little and made itself more comfortable, its small claws tickling his palm as it shifted around it.

"So let it live in the roof, right?" Marlon asked just to be sure. He didn't want to walk all the way back here if the owl was still unsatisfied and annoying.

"Well, you could check if it would rather live inside the guild where it's warmer." Thad grinned at him and Marlon glared. He knew exactly what Thad was trying to do.

"What? It's really cold outside and its kind prefers warm weather." The bird whispered on multiple voices as to confirm and tried to fluff up even further, looking like it could burst at any moment.

Marlon rubbed his face with his free hand. On one hand, it was insane to let a dark spirit roam free throughout the guild. On the other hand, well, the owl seemed harmless enough and Marlon didn't want to punish the thing just for its odd nature. Besides telling it no might make it vengeful and destructive while letting it around them will allow them to study it better.

"Fine, but I'm not carrying you in my hand." Marlon argued gruffly while opening his chest pocket. The owl rushed in the pocket ungracefully, falling into it head first with only it's thin clawed toes and a wing tip visible. Muffled cheerful whispers could be still heard from the pocket.

He had the whole patrol to think of a way to let Gill know they have a new guildmate. At least Gill seemed more amused about the odd spirit harassing them than bothered by it so Marlon was hopeful that the news will go down well enough. Explaining the presence of the owl to other adventurers will be a much bigger challenge though.

[liesmyth]

the locked tomb holiday exchange: it’s a wrap!

Creators for @tlt-holiday-exchange were revealed! Find the entire collection HERE. My rec lists: part 1 & part 2

what I got

you haven't changed a bit by @themorikelife — fic for THE breakout canon pairing of NtN, John/Sarpedon. It’s exactly as delightfully hilarious as you’d expect from this ship and I loved it to bits. 1.2k, rated M.

what I wrote

dreams of the ones who came before us, Augustine & John, arguably shippy but they’re sad about it! Pre-canon slice of life ft. the memory fuckery of it all. 2.8k, rated T

turn our golden faces into the sun, Gideon/Harrow, for the prompt: AU where Gideon was raised on the Erebos, growing up around the Cohort and all of remaining OG Lyctors. Enter: baby Lyctor Harrow. 5.6k, rated T

longest fics in the exchange

Some of the exchange’s biggest MVP! Most people probably haven’t had time to check those out yet, but I have and they’re lovely

Three Points Where Two Lines Meet by NyaatalieWrites — Modern AU, Gideon/Harrow and Camilla/Pash. Canon-typical childhood baggage, but also bartender Camilla and ice skating; happy ending guaranteed (and it was such a treat). 28k, rated T

BEAUTY, BLOSSOM, DIE by @rnanqo  — Cytherea/Loveday, role reversal fic. “Sixteen new hopeful necromancers and cavaliers arrive at Canaan House, seeking to earn a place as one of God’s own fists and gestures, his immortal bodyguards, his Lyctors! Well...most of them are here to seek eternal life.Cytherea's here to die.” 25k, rated M

Everything has breath inside by @aberfaeth  — Gideon/Harrow, FARMING SIM AU. I repeat!!! Farming sim AU. “Harrowhark Nonagesimus moves to Canaan Valley to start afresh. Trouble is, it seems her teenage nemesis had a similar idea.” Live out all your lesbian cottagecore dreams through this fic, 20k, rated T

most prolific treaters

More exchange MVP! creators with 3+ works

@youweremyridehome​ posted 19 artworks in the collection! You can find them all here

PyrrhaDveotee posted 13 fics in the collection! You can find them all here

@themorikelife​ and @aberfaeth​ posted 3 works each: HERE & HERE

Multiple creators posted more than one work. They’re too many to list; I’m just going to link again to the whole collection: HERE. There were 145 works in total (!!!) so plenty to check out still.

Thanks so much to the amazing mods @themorikelife and @rnanqo for running this event <3

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“DUFFERIN CO. ASSIZES,” Grand Valley Star & Vidette. November 20, 1930, Pg 1. --- Jury Throws Out Slander Action—Cattle Thief is Given One Year—Judgment Reserved in Harkies vs. Lord Dufferin Hospital Case: ---- Dufferin County Fall Assizes closed at Orangeville on Friday afternoon, Justice Raney having been on the bench since Tuesday. The slander action brought by Mrs. Lottie Nixon, of Melancthon Township, against John Wallace, a neighbor, was concluded when the jury brought in a verdict to the effect that the jurors were unable to say which side was telling the truth, and recommended that the action be thrown out and each side pays his own costs.

The case against a young Mono farmer, Arthur Rutledge, charged with theft of three cattle from Hamilton McKim, of Camilla, was commenced on Wednesday. Harry Whittaker, formerly of Toronto, but who is at present servicing a term in Kingston Penitentiary, was the chief witness for the Crown and told of having driven the cattle to the Rutledge farm and then, in company with Rutledge, taking them to a Toronto abattoir and dividing up the proceeds, $139.

One year in the reformatory was the sentence meted out to Rutledge on Friday, the accused having been found guilty of the theft of three cattle.

Counsel in the Harkies vs. Lord Dufferin Hospital case, made three attempts to settle the action out of court, but was unsuccessful and the trial was completed on Friday. Justice Raney reserved his decision but will announce it within a month. The action was brought by Clifford Harkies, father of Ralph, a three-year old infant, who allegedly was severely scalded while a patient in the institution last June. The child was suffering from congestion of the lungs and on orders of Dr. C. I. Scott, steam treatment was applied.

Nurse Dynes swore that the outfit was working efficiently when she left the room. A few minutes later she heard a cry and discovered that the infant had met with the accident.

[g0atmama]

im gonna make fleur in stardew valley. she is going to only farm flowers and bnuuys. she will be ready for 2.0 when she can smooch camilla

[ncdweller]

Usually Leclerc looms have labels to that effect.

This one, a 1979 model, has store labels instead. I emailed Camilla Valley Farm about this, and they wrote right back.

If you ever want to learn about, or buy parts/accessories for a Leclerc, their web site is full of information. I have spent many hours there learning.

The response:

[chaoticbooklesbian]

TOO 5 NON WOOL YARNS GO GO GO

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY AM I ONLY GETTING HARD ONES UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--

1. BzyPeach - ALL NON-WOOL YARN! HAND-DYED! BLACK WOMAN OWNED! EXCELLENT YARN! The colors are all inspired by fruit, which is super cool, and they’re all really pretty and slightly less expensive than other hand-dyed yarn companies! 2. SweetGeorgia Flaxen Silk DK and Flaxen Silk Fine - their colors are AMAZING, and yes this is a luxury fiber but it’s SO SOFT and I really enjoy it! Their SeaSilk Lace is also very nice, also expensive, but SUPER pretty! 3. Lily Sugar’n’Cream - I’m going to get flack for this because it’s considered shitty cotton BUT HEAR ME OUT ON THIS: It’s 100% cotton. It’s available in a bunch of really nice colors. IT’S AFFORDABLE. IT’S PRETTY WIDELY AVAILABLE. ALL OF THOSE ARE POINTS IN ITS FAVOR AND I LOVE IT. 4. Panda Yarns - 100% cotton, lots of pretty colors, CUSTOMIZABLE GRADIENT/VARIEGATED YARN, need I say more? 5. Camilla Valley Farm - relatively affordable 100% cotton yarn in multiple weights with lots and LOTS of gorgeous solid colors! Can you tell I’m a fan of cotton? I like cotton.

Honorable mention goes to Hemp for Knitting because of limited skein size and how crispy it is to work with - it gets softer if you beat it to death in the laundry, but it can be a bit of a pain to work with initially. There are also a bunch of synthetic yarns I’m happy to work with, but I’m mostly trying to avoid buying them personally for environmental reasons. Alpaca yarn would be even more sustainable than cotton, but it’s hella expensive. So are, like, three of the five I listed above, but they’re just so soft and pretty I had to.

EDIT: I FORGOT ABOUT OINKPIGMENTS’ COVEN BASE, LINEN AND SILK, VERY SOFT, THE COLORS ARE FUN AND LOVELY, CHECK IT OUT, QUEER-OWNED BUSINESS WITH AN EYE FOR INCLUSIVITY, I’M A FOOL

[crxssroads]

THE MAIN FOUR COULD HAVE THE FOUR CORNERS FARM . WHY HAVE I NOT REALIZED THIS SOONER .

[handweavers]

i've been fixing up my floor loom and adding some new parts to it and tightening the joints/doing general maintenance, and i decided to finally try to properly date this thing using the camilla valley farm leclerc looms timeline and i'm like. 95% certain my F-type was made in early 1955, because it has features from leclerc looms made between 1951-54 but one of its parts only started being used in 1955, however it doesn't have another part that also starts being used in 1955, so it must've been made early in the year after they implemented one change but before they implemented the other... she's almost exactly 67 years old 🥺

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hey, hey, I just recently found your stuff, but it's awesome!! I'd like to ask for more Lance/Isaac and possibly some poly with Farmer if ya want 👀

No specific themes or anything, just any hcs you have of them!! That's all!!

*Rub my hands in anticipation* Oh, boy! Another opportunity to write about this ship! (And with Farmer too!)

I already had a draft with some headcanons, but now everything can be moved here, hehehe... 🌚 Thanks for asking, dear anon, and for the kind words! 😊💕

_________________________________________

Some random SVE Lance/SVE Isaac/Farmer headcanons:

With Isaac, Lance and Farmer will have scary dog privilege. That said, Isaac doesn't even have to do anything - one threatening look and cold stare from him will make any overly flirtatious strangers step back. Lance often teases Isaac about this, but he and Farmer appreciate this concern.

Though Lance is well aware that his two lovers are skilled monster hunters, the pink-haired adventurer still worries about them when they both go on a mission to the Crimson Baldlans. So he equips them with potions and protective amulets like a caring mother dressing her child warmer, for "they might catch a cold!" Isaac will always grumble about overprotection, but it's useless to argue with Lance on this point. The Farmer has no chance of winning the argument at all, with their number of cases of fainting and exhaustion in dangerous places.

Isaac is the worst cook among the three, and he can't cook much of anything. That said, he always takes the responsibility of getting food. No, not in a quiet environment, this is done by the Farmer with their rich harvest, but, let's say, in Skull Cavern. If their adventures drag on long enough and there are no provisions left, it is Isaac who starts the hunt for the flying serpent. After about 15 minutes, he places dead monster at his partners' feet with the single word "dinner," and waits for them to prepare a roasted eel.

Since Lance already knows a bit about growing plants (mostly monster crops) thanks to the talented Farmer, Isaac felt he didn't want to fall behind and also asked Farmer to teach him something. His first plant was a hot pepper, because he likes spicy food. Of course, the plant was on the verge of death a few times, but the scarred adventurer had already gained experience and was proud of his first pepper crop.

Given the crazy daily routine of the entire trio, Lance and Isaac don't stay overnight at the farm very often. They all have such a crazy schedule. How all three manage to stay romantically together and give each other the attention they deserve is a mystery to everyone. But at least they have no problems with time management.

Both Lance and Isaac are wistful to realize that Farmer still can't join them in Castle Village, drink ale in the tavern, or stop by the main Guild. They have no right to influence Camilla's decision in any way, but they can't hide the slightly sad looks on their faces as their beloved Farmer bids them farewell and teleports back to Stardew Valley.

One of their favorite dates/day off activities is swimming in the hot springs at the Sprite Spring. The relaxing setting, the nature around them, the water is beautiful and crystal clear... Farmer and Lance especially feel good as Sprite Spring energizes their mana. It's all a bit unfamiliar for Isaac, as he's used to a trivial five-minute shower, but he was still able to fully relax in the warm water. Especially as his lovers hands began to massage his tired shoulders.

[ilguna]

Hi, my name is Quinn, welcome to my stardew valley farm, Sunshine farm. My cats name is handsome, I have 4 chickens named camilla, cock, cluck and frumpy. And two cows named milk and manure.

I shouldn’t be allowed to name anymore animals but I am

[tabloidtoc]

People, July 20

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Nick Cordero -- a life cut short by COVID-19 

Page 1: Chatter -- Tom Hanks joking about writing and producing and starring in the new film Greyhound, Shawn Johnson on battling an eating disorder after the 2008 Beijing Games, Kevin Hart on how his wife Eniko feels at 6 months pregnant, Kristen Bell on reactions to news that her 5-year-old daughter wears diapers, Gavin Rossdale on his divorce from Gwen Stefani being his most embarrassing moment, Ricky Martin on his quarantine experience 

Page 2: 5 Things We’re Talking About This Week -- Kanye West says he’s running for president, Beavis and Butt-Head make a comeback, Michelle Pfeiffer reveals a relatable makeup mishap, Floor is Lava heats up on Netflix, Baby Yoda takes over breakfast 

Page 5: Contents 

Page 6: StarTracks -- Stars in the Sun -- Brooke Shields rocking a star-spangled bikini during a dip in her pool in the Hamptons 

Page 7: Pregnant Katy Perry and fiance Orlando Bloom took a beach stroll with their dog in Santa Barbara, Luke Evans cooled off during a boat ride in Ibiza, John Legend twinning in matching swimsuits with son Miles, Sailor Brinkley-Cook celebrated her 22nd birthday with mom Christie Brinkley and sister Alexa Ray Joel, Gabrielle Union 

Page 8: Jason Derulo performed without an audience due to the pandemic for the Wawa Welcome America virtual festival, Emily Ratajkowski wore a mask while out for a walk with her beloved dog Colombo, Serena Williams and daughter Olympia hit the tennis court in matching gear, Carson Kressley cohosted the livestreamed celebration of the 50th annual N.Y.C. Pride March

Page 9: Royals Back in Action -- Prince William and Princess Kate Middleton celebrated the 72nd anniversary of the National Health Service, Prince Charles visited Cotswold Farm Park, Camilla Duchess of Cornwall stepped out at the Swindon Fire Station to thank firefighters and hospital staff and paramedics 

Page 10: Five months after losing husband Kobe Bryant and daughter Gianna Vanessa Bryant celebrated Independence Day with her daughters Natalia and Bianka and Capri, Chris Pine flashed a peace sign during a grocery store run, Jessica Simpson celebrated son Ace’s seventh birthday 

Page 11: British racing driver Lewis Hamilton took a knee against racism before the Formula One Grand Prix of Austria, Luke Wilson playing golf in Bel Air, Ben Affleck and Ana de Armas shared a laugh during a morning stroll, Maren Morris and son Hayes went motor-floating 

Page 15: Scoop -- Meghan Markle felt unprotected by the palace 

Page 16: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are free to speak their minds, Jada Pinkett Smith speaks out after affair allegations with August Alsina 

Page 18: Heart Monitor -- Chris Evans and Lily James dating?, Kacey Musgraves and Ruston Kelly separated, Camila Mendes and Grayson Vaughn heating up, Julia Roberts and Danny Moder happy anniversary 

Page 21: Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt amicably co-parenting, D.L. Hughley tackles COVID-19 and racism 

Page 23: Sean Astin -- my mother’s Patty Duke’s legacy on mental health 

Page 24: Mandy Moore on family and love and making music 

Page 27: Passages, Ghislaine Maxwell charged 

Page 29: Stories to Make You Smile -- thanks to a colorful custom soundboard a dog speaks and she has a lot to say, this boy wants to help save the Earth one park at a time 

Page 31: People Picks -- Greyhound 

Page 32: The Old Guard, Brett Eldredge -- Sunday Drive 

Page 33: P-Valley, Crikey! It’s the Irwins: Life in Lockdown, One to Watch -- Little Voice’s Brittany O’Grady 

Page 34: Brave New World

Page 35: Palm Springs, Margo Price -- That’s How Rumors Get Started, Q&A -- Leslie Odom Jr. of Hamilton

Page 37: Books, Star Picks: What We’re Reading -- Tracee Ellis Ross is reading Me Talk Pretty One Day, Chris Hemsworth is reading The Boy, the mole, the Fox and the Horse, Elle Fanning is reading The Nightingale 

Page 38: Cover Story -- Broadway Star Nick Cordero 1978-2020 -- a brave battle and a family’s heartbreak -- after three months in the hospital fighting COVID-19 the actor and new dad lost his life to the virus; how his story and his wife’s unending love and devotion inspired people around the world 

Page 45: Raven-Symone: Introducing the Real Me -- after decades in the spotlight the former child star is independent in love and finally in control 

Page 48: A Fort Hood Soldier Murdered -- what happened to Vanessa Guillen? -- months after she mysteriously disappeared the 20-year-old was found dead; inside the shocking case 

Page 50: Carl Reiner 1922-2020 -- Farewell to a Comedy Legend -- creator of The Dick Van Dyke Show, father of Rob Reiner, BFF of Mel Brooks, mentor to Steve Martin, he entered and exited laughing 

Page 52: A Demand for Answers -- a young man’s tragic death -- Elijah McClain died last summer after police tackled and restrained him as he walked home from the store. His family is still asking why 

Page 54: NASCAR’s Bubba Wallace -- Driving for Change -- the sport’s only top-ranked African-American driver takes on the fight for racial equality 

Page 58: Poo-Pourri founder Suzy Batiz -- the sweet smell of success -- the mom of three overcame abuse, bankruptcy and depression then built am empire by taking the P.U. out of poo 

Page 63: Lindsay Ell surviving sexual assault -- after years of hiding her pain the country singer opens up and finds healing by helping fellow survivors 

Page 66: A Friendship Born in the COVID-19 ICU -- her kind words helped save his life -- an unexpected bond between a patient fighting to stay alive and a hospital housekeeper made all the difference just when it mattered the most 

Page 68: Patricia Heaton -- embrace your second act -- the actress shares adventurous stories of transformation including her own in a new book 

Page 69: Mike Monteleone 

Page 71: Liz Smothers, Ta’u Pupu’a 

Page 73: Dani Klein Modisett, Yudi Bennett 

Page 77: COVID-19 Surges Again -- as new infections set records epidemiologist Dr. Michael Osterholm talks about steps we can take to slow the spread 

Page 81: Summer Beauty Issues Solved -- Ciara 

Page 87: Second Look -- Lin-Manuel Miranda and Phillipa Soo in Hamilton 

Page 88: One Last Thing -- Charlize Theron

[the-fibre-stuff]

TMI warning

Yeah, I know, you generally don’t see those on a crafting blog.

But I mean it.

Especially for people who don’t menstruate.

See, I made a thing.

As you’ve probably all guessed, especially if you’re familiar with the pattern, it’s a tampon:

I made both more stitches and rows than the pattern called for (and I should figure out and note down what I did somewhere, for making more), but followed the instructions for the “hood” exactly.

I’ve only made one, because I want to try it out. (What I’ll do with the rest of the yarn I special ordered if I don’t like it, I don’t know. Speaking of which, if you wish to make this, I ordered two things of 2/8 from Camilla Valley Farm which was good, because I needed to hold two strands together. My tension was still off, but I think that was because my crochet tension is always off, not because the yarn was too thin. So, despite the fact that they call the 4/8 a double knitting, I might recommend using that.)

I’m sure you’re all going “why?” (Actually, I’m sure only some of you are going “why?”. A lot of people asked me what I was making and no one seemed to think it was odd.) It turns out that you’re not supposed to use a menstrual cup with an IUD. The NP said I could probably continue doing so (she didn’t warn me, so I’d used it for my period before I came back for the follow-up), but I’m not comfortable with her reasoning, so I’m trying to transition away from using it. However, it was over a decade ago that I started using my menstrual cup, and I simply can’t go back to using disposables. I’ve also discovered that I can’t go back to external pads. (I’m on the IUD largely for stress-related reasons, so if using it is going to cause me stress it’s counter-productive.)

Apparently this design was inspired by someone who made ones in one piece (i.e. stuffed.) I hope those weren’t intended to be re-used, because I worry about the safety of those. This one, like an old-school diaper, can be spread out flat to be sunned, to kill anything that was growing on it before I took it out, so I don’t need to worry about TSS. (No, it’s not sterile. Neither are tampons. The staph infection comes from your own body, the tampon just gives it a place to grow. So as long as I can disinfect it between uses I should be ok. I’m also not planning on leaving it in for overnight, just in case.)