#can we talk abt bill tho

[serialbxwl]

some early bill and ted doodles i did so i could get used to drawing them 🫶

[patchiko]

Arkham Knight Relationship HCS !! <3

( light nsfw, mostly SFW tho!! )

literally my wife ( i made this pic idc abt creds i just wanna talk abt it)

SFW !! <3

dying on this hill when i say basically any red hood would be soo yummy with a civilian or just someone who is extremely balanced.

im a red hood needs more fucking normalcy in his life TRUTHER.

relationship starts off slow, romantic and platonic, you need to be patient with him long enough for him to get over his mental dilemmas to feel ANY-TYPE of way towards you.

more then like 6 months lets be real yall

his way of bonding is quality time. ill die on this hill, especially at the start of the relationship. Nothing huge maybe just spending a couple extra minutes around you before leaving.

next is probably gift giving, esp with early relations, probably just gonna order you food or put fifty bucks on your countertop. you dont even notice until you realize you find a fifty around the last place he was standing. expect deliveries from R.H whenever he feels bad for something.

doesn't like being around for too long, feels like he's messing up something. ruining your day by keeping you up late (he was there for fifteen minutes), ruining your mood, (there was an awkward silence for like 30 seconds.)

not a overly conscious thought process though, he feels physically he isn’t supposed to be there. for whatever subconscious thing he picked up on, a awkward silence, or hes been there 15 minutes too long or something

well sometimes he'll mentally beat himself up.

he spirals a lot, needs someone to pull him out of that.

i think when he needs to be grounded, its not just comfort its making him feel alive in the present moment. he's never gonna truly forget about his traumas but maybe for just an hour or two; running around an arcade, walking around the city. just making him feel normal, yeah you BAGGED his ass quick.

he needs someone patient, really patient, someone whos very attentive and empathetic. (but not a complete push- over def needs someone to set him in line still)

i think if you move to quickly, he'll get super snappy and ghosting you,, ong put ur hands on him too early and he's left hooking you.

yeah you're waking up and the first thing your hearing is "Its been 12 years..."

second thing you hear is "you've been in a coma for.. 12 years."

third thing you're hearing is, " we think a bus hit you...”

obviously not touchy, even when he is settling down. hes just not sure how to .. or where to .. or why he wants too.

please his mental gymnastics get so crazy, just sit down with him and put on some silly ass movie so he stops

when he’s settled he cant pry himself off you though.

a lot of his expressions can definitely be told by his body language, naturally hes tense but theres certain habits he has when he's maybe thinking too much, or fustrated/irritated.

but he does all of the same for you, comfort, love, as much as he can he tries

Very attentive, has a mental list of 'shit you do when somethings wrong' or 'shit you like.'

doesn't consciously make any of these mental list, he just knows.

"didnt they say they liked this?" He pauses "shit ill just leave it at their window."

so he's like canonically smart as shit.

you have too much work from your boss or professor? hand it over its done in less then two hours.

literally buys you groceries and pays your bills (fucking lover boy.)

arkham knight finally figuring out how to ask for a hug (hes been dead silent for 5 minutes) (link) <— insta reel

HES A CHEM/HISTORY NERD FOR SURE

NSFW !! <3

probably- A FUCKING VIRGIN !! HES A NERD !! GETS AWKARD AS SHIT. WITH RAGING COMMITMENT AND TRUST ISSUES !! (will still die4you tho)

AGAIN, not in a "my soft squishe potato always been scared of sex" way but in a ‘oh my god hes so unsocialized’ way.

yall ever see a big ass dog just..standing.. literally him (hes dissociating)

genuinely dont believe that when he was arkham/training to be, he was sexually or romantically involved with anyone. the last thing that was on his mind was actually pursuing a sexual or romantic relationship.

along with his trauma, he just wasn’t comfortable with any of that.

ghosted so many people..

couldn’t flirt for more then five minutes, just stopped feeling it or got uncomfortable .

I AM ANTI ARKHAM KNIGHT BEING A SEX GOD

not that he’s horribly awkward, but he’s noticeably a bit more quiet for first times.

ofc this man has watched porn n’ shit but hes smart enough to know thats not what its really like.

he’ll still figure it, what makes you tic, what you love, what makes you most comfortable.

kinda shitty at dirty talk, just makes him buffer.

he gets better at it tho, too damn good

gets so snarky and confident about it too uuhgrr

late relationships hes smirking and chatting your ears off cause you know hes gettin you turnt.

he has a love-hate relationship with his scars. 95% they remind him of his past, but 5% hes alright with them because they’ve shown what hes been through.

deep, deep, deep, deep, deep down, he knows hes fine as fuck. TRUST YALL.

again, super observant and attentive. really pays attention to what you enjoy.

I genuinely don’t believe hes into super hardcore/painful kinks or anything.

Sex for him is definitely a way of showing his trust and intimacy with someone!! Let him show you how much he loves you and how much he wants to make you feel good! Do the same to him !!

mmm tell him how good hes doing and hes a absolute mess!!

praise him! PRAISE HIM *im yelling from the hospital bed im strapped down on*

wouldn’t let you ride for awhile, but once he’s comfortable with it ,, he’s actually obsessed.

cant see him bottoming , just wouldn’t be comfortable with it

my brain is getting messy so im stopping here! feedback and comments would be cool if you wanna drop some!

[braxlrose]

Can ya like make nsfw/sfw hc about Tom?

(Btw i luv ya🫶)

Like I did with Bill, I think I'm just gonna do sfw hcs rn cause I'm tired but I will get to the nsfw 😈

sfw headcanons for Tom Kaulitz

You and tom were bestfriends when you were kids, you were always hanging out with him and bill whenever you could (considering they were your only friends before gustav and georg came around)

You and tom got into trouble ALL THE TIME

Sometimes with Bill but other times tom thought some of the stuff you did would be too "hardcore" (his words) for bill, so you two would go and do stuff

One time you and him pulled the fire alarm at school and poor Bill happened to be walking by just as you two ran out 😭 you guys felt so bad he was the one who got in trouble

His mom LOVES you so much, yk when you can't find your friends and you go downstairs and they're just talking shit w/ your mom 💀 that's you and their mom

You two would practice guitars all the time and even got matching stickers to put on the guitars

When you guys were little kids, you, bill and tom would play hide and seek and tom would always be yelling "I'm not ready yet!!" LIKE BRO, it literally says "ready or not, here I come!" 🙄

He steals a shit ton of your food

Like you'll just walk into your house and he's standing in the kitchen eating your food 💀

You two would smoke in the back of the school w/ bill and listen to music and you'd always end up laying your cheek on his shoulder

Now I think we all know tom likes girls, but if any of the girls who was flirting w/ him disrespected you, he would just laugh in their face.

Like one of the girls said "it's either me or y/n. Your choice." He just stood there like 💀 who do you think I'm choosing TF?

He's a fucking asshole so whenever yall went swimming he would splash water at you, or go and swim under water and grab your legs to freak you out

And he's always laughing his ass off when you scream after he does that 😐

He's a bitch fr

also for "some reason" he always hated when guys flirted w/ you

I wonder why 😐🤔

so whenever any guy came up to you, he would automatically come behind you and put his arm around your shoulders or wrapped around your waist or on your hips LIKE BRUH UR 13 WTF ARE U DOING

He somehow makes the guy leave w/o even calling himself your boyfriend (bc he's not) and he does this basically so you can't get mad at because "didn't even do anything"

TOLD YALL HES AN ASSHOLE OH MY GOD (still love him tho)

You guys watch movies together ALL THE TIME

Of course bill joins you guys too sometimes

But other times he has "other things to do" according to tom 🤨 so you guys end up watching movies together

YOU GUYS HE DOES THE THING WHERE YOU YAWN AND STRETCH YOUR ARMS OUT AND THEN PUT YOUR ARM OVER THE OTHER PERSONS SHOULDERS

istg that's in like every single American 80s movie

He thinks he's so slick abt it too

NEWS FLASH

He's not. Like at all.

It's cute though

After a while it starts to get super obvious he likes you

He doesn't flirt with girls as much and focuses his attention and flirtiness towards you, and he gets you little things that you like because "that's what friends do for eachother"

If you try and bring up that he likes you, he will deny the fuck out of it. You're his best friend and honestly he hates that he feels this way bc he doesn't want to ruin anything.

Little does his dumbass know that you like him too 💀

So one night when he comes to your window and knocks on it you go to open it and see him.

Apparently he wants to go swimming.

Which you deny because it's freezing cold water and night time (super scary, yall I'm like terrified of the dark if you didn't know)

But eventually he convinces you and you sneak out w/ him

And thats when he confessed to you, you guys were laughing and splashing around in the freezing water when he finally said something and yall finally became a thing

Thank god, because everybody was getting sick of the tension.

Once you guys start dating, oh.my.god.

You guys are making out all the time and at school he always has his arm wrapped around you, possessive mfckr 💀

This just increases as you guys get older too

And since you're his bestfriend, he doesn't treat you like he would treat any other girl. He likes you so much and doesn't want to ruin the friendship either.

If you're in the band, he's touching you whenever he can, especially on stage (even though there's only like 10 ppl there)

As he gets older, like I said before, it gets worse

Once Monsun came out and you guys started getting the fame, he made sure EVERYONE knew he was with you

He would wrap his arms around you on stage or practically shove his tongue down your throat in between songs (if you're in the band)

If you're not in the band, he talks about you in basically every single interview

He finds a way to add you into the conversation

His cuddles are literally the best

He's always the big spoon, but he loves holding you.

If you're in the band, he always has you sitting on his lap, or if you're on the tour bus he let's you lay on top of him and sleep.

He also LOVES seeing you in his clotheses

They're giant on you and he thinks you look adorable (SIZE KINK YALL, but that's for the next post)

He loves it when you're just sleeping in one of his giant t shirs and just some underwear, or no underwear 😉

Sometimes you get insecure when he flirts with girls at a meet and greet but he always reassures you that he never meant to make you feel that way and tries to cool it down

I know some of you guys think he would do this, but I honestly don't think tom is a cheater

Yeah maybe he would ghost girls or do some other shit but I don't see him as someone who would cheat on a girl

Especially one he loves so much, so you never have to worry

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED TY FOR THE REQUESTS, ILL DO THE NSFW SOON

OMG I FORGOT MY TAGLIST AGAIN SO SORRY

@hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes

[trollbreak]

heehoo and aurrel neow!!! /lh

Ouh u pick an interesting pair!!! This going under cut bc teehee details to build to the Pondering. Also this is all very train of thought due to the heehoo Lore so :P

SO UM!!! First up, some things abt Heehoo our lad! And Boohoo, who’s um. Kind of inherently tied to him! They used to be the same clown. Teehee sometimes ur church worships eldritch things and sometimes u do weird magic shit that makes one person two. And it’s a whole thing!! Like um. With Gedian and Echo it was. Less than great in the end. But Heehoo and Boohoo had a great go of it!! They’re besties and holding hands and siblings and heehoo will kill u a million times if u try to hurt boohoo and boohoo will send a god after u for the reverse. They’re silly little clowns together!!! Smth smth comedy and tragedy masks, smth smth two sides of a coin, I love them in short

NOW!! I’m gonna face this as like, just swapping Heehoo and aurrel, rather than the person that was there before Heehoo and boohoo, bc um. I don’t have the braincells to make aurrel 2 guys rn lmao

SO UM!!! The base person would ofc b very different. But also? Aurrel is an ass. Even when he cares someone. He’d um. Be mean to boohoo without thinking abt it and it would Crush him Every Time that boohoo is so niceys kind and 🥺 until he like. Chilled out. He’s still very bitey tho, there’s just less baring teeth beforehand. U get faces and rude words when he’s angry and in a Mood as he is, but as a clown? He’d be very >:3 until he’s actively trying to murder u. Also, by VIRTUE of clownness, he would actually do murder!! Like he doesn’t actually do that as a Revant!! He feels like shit if he hurts someone too bad!! But um. He’d be. Violently protective of boohoo, and that would be a very easy way for him to just be. Very violent in general. Dudes living up to the murder clown image and then some. Sir please stop bringing folks to church just to murder them with your teeth, ur scaring the hoes.

He would eventually mellow out a little with time! …Eventually. And only a little. He um. Would get evil abt it tho. I think he’d dip from the church he grew up in the Second that the Gaze wound up as the host for their resident horrorterror, bc he’s like. Wtf, you’re nice. This isn’t how this shits supposed to work. Fuck off. He’d go kind of just churchless after that, and just um. Would do a lot of murder till he got accepted into the fleet to do cullings for a reason beyond ‘i wanna’ again. Dude grows up to be malicious and fucked up abt it. His thing abt body horror is a point of shame, and um. He goes exposure therapy abt it by being more fucked up. Bestie that’s not healthy. Boohoo is um. Going to therapy abt how she’s. A little glad he left. Dude got scary.

HEEHOO THO!!! Um. He’s still silly little guy :3 but now he’s Ferret instead of Corgi and he go BOING!!! I think he’s still doesn’t really talk much bc he doesn’t have much to say! But he makes a LOT of noises sometimes. Also: fidget toy collection. Cargo pants of em. And now he doesn’t do any murder mostly!!! Not unless someone else starts it for suresies. I think Junie def adopts him quicker, due to the hes more roam around and hang out with random folks. And they’re climbing into places they shouldn’t together!!! Please imagine for me junie and Heehoo Revant sat on a rooftop together. Heehoo is on a box or smth so he can kicky his feet. Are u imagining it for me? He’s so fucking ^-^. He’s also very much involved in rebel activity but shhh we don’t worry about thaaaaat, what he’s got going on with Bill is his business, we don’t need to knooooowwwww-

[bombshelllblonde]

heyyyyyy im backkk!!!!!!!

invading ur ask box again lol, sorry!!!!!!

this might start being a thing

ANYWYAS

i totally forgot to mention last time hiw muvh i love lenny, mary-beth and hosea and tilly and MOLLY O SHEA omg

the drinking mission w lenny is one of my favorites, and I LOVE PLAYING DOMINOES W TILLY MY GIRL SHE IS THE BEST

AND SADIE I LOVE HER SM

Like yea gurl!!!!! kill the o driscolls!! kill them all!! avenge ur pookie!!! rahhh!!!

Mary-beth and kieran are my blorbs. my pookies. my babbygirls. my schmookums

molly o'shea that woman that she is i love her so so so much

i feel so bad for her tho w her fights w dutch :(

speaking of dutch, idk i have like a neutral (slightly negative) view of him???

i dislike how he treats molly, and w how he treats mary-beth?? (inst dutch also like 40-50 and mary-beth like 20-smth? idk im probably rlly biased in this lol)

ALSO another reason dutch be chosing Micah the rat over what is his basically adopted son??

im definitely biased in this but wtv lmao

but he hasnt really done much so i dont hate him, but i dont like him either

moving on, do yk if theres any way to explore blackwater + south of it while playing as arthur? i wanna get all the dinosaur bones and legendary animals !!

i replayed the 'americans at rest' mission, yk w bill (i think) javier and charles at the bar (towards the beginning of the game)

its so fucking funny i cannot

arthur walks in, uses his amazing charmer skills (LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER) and then bill runs in, punches a guy therefore starting a bar fight, HERE COME CHARLES WITH THE STEEL CHAIR, arthur gets his ass kicked and then kicks ass and nearly beats the guy half to death

yk when jack grows up and tells epople abt his dear ol uncle arthur that uncle lore drop boutta be CRAZYYYY

did i mention charles throwing a chair? its my favorite part could you tell

i have a pretty neutral view of john marston ig, i kinda hope he steps up and gets the stick outta his ass, starts being a father to jack or smth but im trying not to get my hopes up lmao

thats it for now!!!! hope u have a nice day!!!!

(thanks for responding to these btw! lmk if im bothering u tho, ty for letting me ramble abt my hyperfixation lmao)

okay lsitennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn rdr2 has been mt hyper fixation since July of 2022 when my brother in law gave me his old ps4 and the game and i don’t think ive shut up about it since i started playing. My entire personality is rdr2. And my current outlet/therapy is writing my rdr2 fanfiction

it’s gotten to the point where my family has literally started buying me cowboy/outlaw stuff. when I was a teenager i loved owls so everyone got me owl things. now im obsessed with cowboys at 26 years old and every gift I receive has something to do with outlaws

My sister got me a cameo of Roger Clark talking to me as Arthur for my 25th bday and literally nothing has ever topped that. It was the most amazing gift ever and now I have a video of Arthur Morgan saying my name and talking to me about my horses!!!! It’s so amazing I watch it all the time

unfortunately there isn’t any way to explore blackwater as Arthur unless you get like mods or something. the AI immediately roll up and the bounty hunters shoot him dead if you try to get into west Elizabeth

do you know how to play dominoes??? Literally ive only ever played 5 finger fillet in that game because i cant fucking play dominoes or poker bc i don’t know how

also Tilly is amazing just wait until later in the game. there’s a mission that really solidified the love i have for Arthur being the protective older brother

Dutch is sooooo complex and i think that’s why i love him so much. i won’t get too deep into my feels for him just yet bc i want you to keep going without me saying anything but once you get farther into the game we can talk about him!!!

Hosea and Dutch are literally my gay fathers. I love them so much. Their love for each other literally makes my tummy flip I love it so so so much

Also I’d let Charles hit me with a chair too, tbh. Love of my life

I never disliked Molly but I didn’t like her either, I think she’s just too much of a loud mouth. Felt like to me she could have not been in the game and it wouldn’t have changed much. Idk

And John’s complexity we can talk about after you progress a lil further. I honestly don’t want to spoil anything or give it away unless you don’t care about spoilers. But I’m just gonna stay quiet until you let me know 😂😂😂😂

[disneyanddisneyships]

@gyubby99 here's my trauma recap

May be triggering so.....

Once upon a time~

My parents divorced when I was 3.

So I ssit h houses a lot which is really taxing because you have two homes but your parents wants you to consider their house your real home.

Anyways, along the time in there my aunt stays with me, my mom, and my sister for a bit. She's off her mess so she trips, falls and cracks her head open in the bathroom while 3 year old me is staring at the blood. (I don't remember this tho. Hence the thing I said abt forgetting trauma because it was too traumatic)

Don't remember anything until I'm in elementary school.

So at 8 years old I got made fun of and bullied a lot.

It's when my depression kicked in.

Got made fun of for my eyebrows, my curly hair, my laugh, and my weight.

Then my older sister moves out and never really talks to me again.

At the elementary school I'm at, my then best friend starts to constantly Dutch and abandon abandon for this other girl.

I begged my mom to move schools.

Then I finally moved elementary schools.

Everything was so great at the new one..... I made friends.... one by the name of Christian.....

I had two best friends, and a crush on this guy who was also a teachers kid like me.

One day, my two best friends don't wanna play what I want, but I already had social anxiety at the age of 9 so I didn't wanna fo anything new. They were fine with that so I turned around to get the stuff we usually do, I turn back and they ditched me... instant flashbacks to the other school.

We're friends again yadda yadda.

Elementary school ends.... I go to middle school....

One of the best friends in as talking about has a twin sister...

Her twin sister hated me for some unknown reason.... all she did was be mean to me.... my teachers were awful (except for my art teacher)... then my best friend and her sister moved to a different school....

I made new friends.. and oh hey, my old friend Chris is there. He does the weird "Yes, No, maybe" thing to qn eraser and asks it if we'd ever be in a relationship. Lmao. It said yes.

The year passes. Chris moved schools.

I had friends that were bad for my mental health. I started self harming.

But it's okay because I had 4 amazing best friends and a few other good friends.

This is when I get my first boyfriend.

He was okay.... I guess... I had art class with him and at the 8th grade dance he said he liked me and asked me to be his girlfriend. I said yes.

But over the summer he ghosted me and my mom had to tell me to give up....

Freshman year of high school.

My dad gets a girlfriend and we all go up to see my grandparents in which my grandma and my dad's girlfriend were teasing me for having a fictional crush. It made me angry

I text the group chat with 3 of my best friends because I need a stress reliever.

My best friend just says "no" to the meme. Doesn't read it, doesn't care.

I blow up because I'm sick of disrespect. "I look at every single meme you guys send. I'm sick of you," is what I said.

My best friend blocks me.

I text my other friends trying to get her to unblock me so I can apologize. She unblocks me, I apologize. She doesn't accept it, calls me selfish and says "and you've lost 2 friends because this person doesn't like you either". I confront the other friend and she calls me manipulative, so I block her.

Me and the other friend didn't stay good friends for long (but they're cool now. We're in the same chour class. They have a Tumblr that I follow)

Um.... then I get closer with other people. Specifically my now former friends.... and.... my other friends ex....

I got so desperate to be loved that me and him started dating.

It was a secret and I didn't tell my mom....

Until she found out by looking at the bill of my phone....

Then she found out I had been self harming.... that was.. traumatic all on its own.

Anyways. Covid hit, and.. he moved schools for sophomore year..... over text we sexted a lot.... I was... desperate for some form of love....

But when I tried with boundaries... it.... I felt bad because when I said I didn't want to, I thought he'd hate me.. I thought hed leave me.....

I didn't even know what was happening was considered assault at the time...

The thing that really stuck with me was when he took his (small) dick out and brought my hand to it. I pulled away but he just grabbed my hand again and made me touch him....

Anyways um....

Later on he starts ghosting me.... a lot..... then one day after not hearing from him for 2 weeks he questions our relationship...

We breakup after 2 years... and we break up right before i go to Disneyland with my family.

He wanted to still be friends but I said i needed time.

I have a breakdown in the hotel at Disney.

And after about a week he texts me and asks if we can still be friends, I say no.

He starts trying to manipulate me. Calls me a bitch. I block him.

I get back from the vacation and I have two friends supporting me. Christian and my other unnamed friend.

I find out Chris likes me and had a crush on me in middle school...... he asks me out but I say no because I just got out of a negative relationship.. so I gave myself the entire summer to lull that over..

Then he asks me out again when senior year starts and I say yes.

He helps me realize that my ex assaulted me.... he also told the counselor by "accident" and I had to tell my parents....

Things go fine... but....

8 months later Chris starts to get flaky. He ghosts me for a while at a time (nowhere near the other guy though)

Until I find out that he told the counselor i was suicidal, and then he broke up with me.

And here we are.

[aldieb]

riding lesson

had a different trainer this time cuz i’m switching to weekends and i like that she was more authoritative even tho we are also similar ages lol. riding nox the irish cob and i continue to be obsessed w him. apparently he really likes to jump which i can’t wait to see

we were talking abt the horse leaning into the contact as like a trust fall which was a really useful metaphor that opened up some stuff in my brain. like yeah obviously if they’re not feeling secure and like you have a good hold on the reins they’re not gonna want to put their head into it and risk falling on their face

he sticks his inside shoulder too far in and you can fix that by changing the position of the bit bc he really wants it straight in his mouth. outside rein solid w hand basically touching the saddle, inside rein opening up sideways to a degree that feels goofy from my pov but apparently isn’t that wide

already i felt a lot better abt my core bc she said to let the seat drive but keep the shoulders steady by engaging ur abs and that made it click for me. we had actually good canter moments thanks to this

idk if financially i can actually get back into riding any more so i will have to savor this :/ if i get into physical therapy for my back soon (pls) that’s gonna be another expense when i’m already chuck tingle getting pounded in the butt by monthly bills. at least my back doesn’t hurt at all when i’m riding lmao

[raccoon-in-a-dumpster]

like I said idk what happened. If the proshipper ur talking about said smth about Bill raping kids 2 the MCI blog, ignore this block. but I only meant murder. also didn’t say u had 2 b okay with it or interact with it. I don’t rlly see where u would’ve gotten that from me which is y I think it’s probably from the proshipper ur talking abt, but people do misunderstand me a lot. usually bc I don’t know how 2 say what I mean right or smth like that. My heads weird

I just summarized the main points of my first ask, but now that u said that I think I’ve finally figured out my main point

first tho. I don’t want 2 dig my heels in 2 much yet

would u tell me what u think proship means? I just think I’d have an easier time explaining what I mean (not 2 convince. only explain) if I know what definition ur working off of. Bc no matter who’s right or wrong, if we have different definitions we’ll just go in circles

Idc what you decide 2 believe or do after that. as long as u have a nice tumblr experience and don’t. Yknow. Harass anyone. But I rlly don’t think u would do that

(also u answer asks faster than I can ask them. partly bc ur responses r so much shorter and partly bc im typing different 2 not b recognized n all that so i have 2 take some extra time lol)

ok dude, first of all, i am not going to recognize you. but if you're SCARED of me recognizing you then that's your problem. don't make it harder for ME to understand you just because you're "worried about being recognized"

second. proship is like. shipping pedophilc, incestuous, or otherwise just. mainly illegal shit. i don't fw that. as previously stated.

and no. it's not from the proshipper i was talking about. in fact, they just followed me, i bitched about them for a bit (never namedropping them), blocked them, and then they deactivated.

[rosenbraut]

CR's music isn't for me and i get actively annoyed by the way ppl hail her as the first ~important 'lesbian' singer (i think she has been open abt the fact she has dated both men and women), but i think saying she leaves her songs open to interpretation so as not to risk anything or as a marketing gimmick is kind of reductive, since in her music videos she kisses women, she hires drag queens as her support acts, and has been very open about the journey her sexuality took 1/2

as she grew up in a very conservative christian household. even tho i don't rly like her music (she has one or two i like), her pointing out when ppl yelled at her on twt for playing in US states that have bathroom bills that even so there are still lgbtq people in those states who need visible support was i think a good point. it's probably different in europe and not interesting to you, but here in the US where everything seems to be regressing i appreciate her msg if not her music

Firstly, thank you for reaching out and adding a "genuine USAmerican voice" to the discussion! :) You're also right, I am lacking an intimate knowledge of the current emotional states of the US. For the record: she seems very cool as a person and I don't mean to belittle her activism or the way she's using her platforms. I also don't think she's to blame for how she's hailed as the lesbian queen of music atm, that's just general biphobia (I also think we should keep in mind that sexuality is a constant journey of discovery, so me talking about her being bisexual now is me going from what she herself has said. if she later on says she's a lesbian, I'd never insist on calling her bisexual due to her past relationships with men, obviously. At the same time, I find it uncomfortable and harmful that so many people deny her mlw experiences with that sweeping "lesbian" diagnosis. Bisexuals exist.)

Just to clear up any confusion about what I meant re:marketability: Her using "you" makes the song open to interpretation. Straight people won't feel alienated by "and you're eating me out", because they can easily read the other person as male. That's a privilege other songs don't have. Even Lil Nas X, who uses 2nd person in Montero, doesn't have that privilege because, although the "you" is neutral, he makes it very clear who he's addressing. And of course she's completely free to sing about men, I just find it tiresome that her songs are hailed as gay anthems when they're ambiguous at best. If you want to make most of these applicable to the straight experience, you don't even have to change the pronouns, because there are none. And I do think it's intentionally ambiguous. "And she's eating me out" is going to get way less streams than "and you're eating me out", which fits neatly into the heartbroken Spotify playlist next to Ariana Grande and Taylor Swift, lyrics-wise. And, to make that clear, I don't think it's a bad thing to keep marketability in mind, especially since lgbt+ artists are held to such a high standard - look at Jojo Siwa or Sam Smith the second they are undeniably lgbt+. In short: My comment was strictly referring to her lyrics.

It's great that she supports drag performers and makes out with girls in her videos. Music Videos especially are very impactful - think of Hayley Kiyoko's Girls like Girls and what it did for the wlws of the 2010s (but also... again, do you think "girls like girls like boys do" is as relatable to a straight audience as "do you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me"?).

Anyhow, bottom line: I'm glad she exists, I'm happy she makes music, I'm sure she's touching a lot of people, lifting them up and making them feel seen. Her looks are fun. I just think we shouldn't trip over our feet to hail her as something she isn't (the first lesbian singer ever to make music).

This goes to say: I agree with you! 🍓 I just wanted to explain better what I meant by marketability. Also tbh, it’s perfectly fine with me if she wants to sing about men. I feel like this whole answer came across more blunt than I meant it to be.

[farmverse]

🫅🏼 MY TURN TO TALK NOWWW

last upd8: oct 18th

farmy wants me to put a lil disclaimer here that i don’t wanna talk abt the kids :c which. i guess is true. i’m not as upset abt it but i’m less upset by Most Things so :// and i don’t wanna make farms sad !!!! i love my brainbrother :( so some stuff is staying in tha vault sowwie

FIRST OFF. the crown was my FRIEND. at first. it said it’d help keep momma and pops and lil mertens safe.

i mean then it made me forget abt them LOL i was busy w jakie :)

sorry. uh

ok so eventually somehow my shenanigans w jake/the lich/“gunter” resulted in me meeting bipper and beast wirt !! that’s right i was a bad end friend boy >:—D

wirt was nice !!! a lil shy a lil nervous but cool to hang out with yknow :—D

bipper was uhhh. less so. he was real loud and mean, like the lich, but worse, ‘cause i was kinda an asset to the lich. i was just a toy to bip.

eventually we found our way back home, i guess. i dunno. maybe that’s how “crossover” ended in our canon? i bet prismo fixed it. he seems cool.

uhhhh. with the crown gone, farmie was able to front more, and we got in a lotta fights. i wanted to play, or try to find more magic, and he wanted to try to go back to the boring way things were before 😑

i kinda took a backseat after that??

part of me was mostly a persecutor, serving as a manifestation of farm’s ptsd

the other part was kinda blendy with farms, if i’m honest. it got to know jay and the other kiddies!

uuuuuuntil we moved into fionnaworld.

see, a couple days in, the activation of aaa’s crown tugged on the same string that introduced me to bipper and beast wirt. and bipper…

🔨bill cipher is like a cat. he likes to play with his prey.

🔨i tried to fight him off, but decades of abuse from bill had made wirt into a very effective lapdog.

🫅🏼i tried to fight bill off, too :( i managed to bite him — but his hand was wood and tasted like varnish. i guess he’d lost dipper’s.

they forced the crown back on us, and. i don’t remember exactly what happened after that. nothing good !!!!!! we lost our arm at some point >:T not cool billy

fi helped tho :) she’s good she’s good. she helped. she helped fix things. dippy and wirt went home lol

lil dessiny !!!!! shes my friend shes nice :3 nice to hang out with and funny !!!!! very funny :33

i got to see the kiddies more after that !!! jay had some fuzzy memories of me but they uhhh weren’t very good. so i tried to smooth things over by hanging out w him sometimes and making Happy memories :3 bonding !! healing !! w tha sweet sonboy 🥰🥰🥰👨‍👦 we love jay mertens he’s smal

i actually remember !!! smth specific !!!!! one time when i was fronting in fionnaworld jay came in looking for farmy and i had to be like 🧍🏼 Uhh. Not Exactly. and i was a little stressy like “i can see if your dad’s available to front??” but jay was rlly cool abt it ,, he said “it’s okay — you’re my dad, too” and it just . auuuuuuhhhhhhh i love the son !!!!!!!!

[castle-dominion]

c4x6 demons

Nice big moon there oh yes buzzfeed unsolved moments! I should finish watching that with my older bro... Where's the van outside tho? How do the doors close again? Maybe ghosts ARE real. Like in murdoch mysteries & then it was never again acknowledged that murdoch could see ghosts What can he see? I thought the thing came from you-know-where?

AC, on her dad's lap as they watch a movie together but then he tilts her in front of him: Dad, are you using me as a shield against flesh-eating zombies? She looks so adult. & oddly tanned. RC: I know he's busy, and you are very thoughtful to be so accommodating, sweetheart, but a healthy relationship is based on mutual respect. I mean, think about what kind of signal you're sending if you're the one always re-arranging your schedule at the other one's every beck and call. I mean, if you just drop everything the very moment that— *beckett calls* *castle drops everything at her call*

RC: The Ghost Wranglers are here? Okay, that's why I love these guys. Body's not even cold, they're already tracking down the ghost. KB: Why doesn't it surprise me that you actually watch that ridiculous show? GIRL SHUT UP RC: Ridiculously awesome. Jack Sinclair is, *becks turns to him in shock* hands down, America's most accomplished ghost hunter. KB: Um...Castle...Jack Sinclair is the name of our victim.

LP: His throat was slit almost from ear to ear, jugular, superior thyroid, common carotid left and right. You name it, it's been severed. Sexy Can't you be behind the guy? Heck yeah ghost killer! She works with dead ppl don't let her believe in ghosts

Oh nice maybe they caught the murder on camera castle explaining what it means <3 So many angles! Mum & I both immediately knew it wasn't begging for mercy. An emp maybe? (btw I'm pronouncing it émp' like in rvb when they were arguing abt it) GIRL IF THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT THAT IS A RECENT UPSET IN RELATIONSHIPS, THAT'S WHAT THEY ASKED ABOUT

Ryan's nice red sweater over his suit uwu JE: Right. Hey, we're still on for dinner tomorrow night, right? Me: what? Maybe it's a game night or smth not a date haha KR: Oh, yeah, Jenny's totally psyched. Me: oh KR: She's never really hung out with Lanie before, so *full body nod* cool. JE: Well, just to let you know, Lanie's gonna be getting off a double shift. So, she could be a little cranky. KR: Oh. *squints eyes* Maybe we should reschedule. I mean, isn't the whole point for Jenny and Lanie to get along? JE: Nah, she'll be cool. Just, you know, don't say anything controversial. KR, walking back over & crossing arms: Like what? What's controversial? [The computer makes a sound.] JE: Bingo. KR: Bingo. Don't talk about Bingo? JE: No. *gestures with some irritation* Barry Bavetta's been busy, and so has his lap. Dude has racked up a hell of a tab at a strip club

RC: We heard you were racking up quite a bill. Or is that billing quite a rack?

Sounds like he said he did kill the guy but obv it couldn't have been him. "you decided to prove him wrong"

Killing time was KIND OF funny "apparition american" KB: You'll see, Castle. This'll turn out just like every other murder investigation. *Ryan walks up looking concerned.* Once we find out more about our victim's life, the details surrounding his death, everything will be explained. KR: Um…maybe not everything. Mr irish folklore over there he looks SO mildly concerned & shaken & I LOVE it, good acting b'y *gestures politely to send castle in first* Caught a ghost! So cool!

Posting that intro on my blog

B'y surely u got SOME sleep esposito smiling watching castle set up his ghost murder board *drank her coffee* RC: ready for this? Espt *nods* RC: a demon

RC: That's not a real thing, you know. That real ghost hunters use. JE: "Real" ghost hunters? Isn't that a contradiction in terms, bro? Oxymoron? Nah man let people have their beliefs I thought that "I do" was Ryan Ooh Ryan nice tie! RC: You see? I am telling you, there is something going on with this house. The last people-- to-- *Castle tries to flip the board back around, but Beckett stops him.* RC: The last people that lived there moved out four years ago in a hurry. KR, breathy: Why? RC: I don't know, but I think it's time we found out. KB: Knock yourself out, Castle. RC: You're not coming? KB: No. I've got a murder to solve. KR sidles up to castle, eyes wide, eyebrow raised, mouth open: I'll go. *softly* [Beckett gives Ryan a look. Castle smiles at Ryan, then turns and sees Beckett's expression and his face falls. Beckett narrows her eyes.] RC: Ooh. That's a look. KR, looking down & to the side: Yeah. RC: I get these a lot. Just start walking. Faster. [Beckett watches them leave, then smiles & looks over at the empty coffee cups.] Ryan really is becoming castle jr!

Poor beckett, castle drank her coffee then said he'd make her one then he doesn't & she burns herself on it. I like the idea of ryckett & casito but rn we have some rystle & especkett scenes. JE: Yo. I, uh, just saw Ryan downstairs. I can't believe you let him go chasing ghosts with Castle. KB: Yeah. Maybe Shaggy'll keep Scooby out of trouble. Besides, you never know, maybe they'll come up with something useful. JE: Oh, you want useful. *sarcastic surprise* 'Cause I just spoke to CSU. They found fingerprints at the scene from a real live person, so… *points & wiggles finger* Becks still has the coffee with her

Girl maybe he thinks he was molested by a ghost it is not your business to make fun of the (probably psychological) issues of a man in prison! Wow the grammar & spelling... the handwriting is fine

Poor guy, he has to live with his mom bc he's an ex-con, he violated his parole for the guy who ruined his prison life, I just really feel for this guy. Prophesy vibes

This is so cool & cute & funny & scary! RC, trying not to show his excitement over the ghost: Oh, my God, that's terrible Ryan looking mildly freaked out is my new favourite thing Mercedes King & Mercy LaGrande are both cool names KB: So the question is, how is she involved in all of this? *rystle look at each other & hop up quickly* RC: Uh, well, you know, uh, Ryan and I would be glad to go check this out *ryan nods half winks* if you guys are too busy solving that murder. *especkett share a look*

Oh & now caskett is here instead of rystle These folks are doctors. They are psychologists, they are pharmacists, they are the medical professionals of the past. & I respect them. Why did he say mercy I can see IT not HIM? his face is an it but jack could have said him too.

Give that man a prize. tbh I expected the pics to be even more gory Murdoch mind moments!

I love the term on the lam, I like this guy's shirt (I have one from hot topic that looks like it lol) RC, looking to beckett: Really? He claimed there was a demon involved? AS: I know. Like anyone's going to fall for that, right? I mean, what kind of jackass did he think he was dealing with?

Ooh info! Cool! Valid, he probably turned him away. Yep you need a warrant babe. Do you need a warrant to get their car service logs? Ooh I love it when they do that! There was this one time a serial killer was watching TV with his wife 20 or 30 years later or smth & they said "this is a serial killer, we think he looks like this" with an aged up model including the style of glasses he would most likely wear & the wife looked at him & said "it looks exactly like you" & they both just laughed it off bc how could this guy my husband be a serial killer? lol that's so silly how he looks like the killer.

KB: Wait a minute, don't you guys have dinner plans tonight? KR, afraid: Uh, we can move it to…some night when Lanie's not coming off a double shift. JE: Uh, actually, Lanie's really looking forward to it. KB: You know what? No worries. It's on my way home. [Beckett takes the photos.] KR+JE: You sure? KB: That I don't want to be the one to blame for ruining Lanie's night out? Oh, yeah. I am sure.

Martha <3 Ooh hoo wowie look at alexis! & going to a party too! No he literally just called, you can answer & say she just went out bc she had plans or smth! gah!

Ooh scottish architecture! Ooh Laird's Lugs! KB: We'll go first thing in the morning, see what we come up with. RC: *puppydog eyes* KB: You want to go now?

RC: For me. Please. KB: I ain't afraid of no ghosts. *ghostbusters theme*

She's pulling his leg KB: How long have you known me, Castle? Of course I don't believe in ghosts. *door closes* RC: What was that? *lights go out* KB: Well, that's odd. RC: No, that's more than just odd. This is the same sequence of events that preceded Jack Sinclair's murder. KB: Except Jack only had an EMF meter. I've got a gun and a flashlight. *The flashlight goes out.* Except wouldn't their phones also be out? Gosh it's hard to be on someone's shoulders *grabs* KB: *gasps!!* Castle, I said legs, okay? RC: Oh. Legs. Sorry.

LP: Not as sorry as I was. I'm around dead people all day. When I get home, I want a live one. JE, eating: I was tired. [Ryan and Jenny laugh.] JO: I can't believe we waited so long to do this, babe. KR, wearing his fortnightversary tie: Yeah. Yeah, it really did turn out to be a perfect night. JE: *winks at ryan* KR: I would like to propose a toast. I know that it's kind of corny, but it's me, (yeah lol) so well, there we go. Uh, to best friends, now and forever. [They toast.] JO: Cheers. JE: And to the future newlyweds. JO: Aww. [They toast again.] KR: You are so thoughtful. LP: Cheers. JO: You know, Kevin said you guys made a great couple, *Lanie smiles & leans towards javier* but I had no idea. [Lanie and Esposito cuddle and lean in to kiss.] JO: So, when are you two getting married? [That kills the mood and Esposito and Lanie recoil w/o even kissing.] KR: JO: LP: JE: *stares daggers at Ryan* KR: *moves to drink his wine during the awkward silence.*

Sad that they found a magnetic field generator to explain the moving tripod BUT wouldn't it have also moved every other tripod & any metal that Sinclair had on him? WHY is it creaking tho? *makes castle open the door* Oh it's a rat It's like when higgins kissed a corpse! Well he fell on it & his lips touched its lips but he was so grossed out about kissing a corpse & that's totally valid Poor castle lol

Hide & seek lol. In the morgue: *Beckett exits and Castle stops on his way out* RC: Hey, how'd that double date go? LP: *crosses her arms and glares.* RC: I-- I just… LP: *eye twitches* *KB comes back in abt the case, but castle leaves past her* RC: Don't ask her about the date.

KR: Look, I said I'm sorry, okay? t-- h-- I didn't mean to jinx the dinner. JE: (imitating)"This really is the perfect night." KR: Jenny got a little caught up in the moment. JE: (falsetto)"When are you two getting married?" That's a question you do not ask! (Yeah jenny, sorry. I love you plenty tho. btw when are we going to find out she's a spy like with terrence myers or mary morstan) [Ryan sighs.] JE, mellowing out: I-- You know, it's-- it's not entirely your guys' fault. KR: You guys have a big fight after? JE: Big fight? *laughing* No. Mega fight, *seriously* yes. *ryan nods* The point is, we, um…we decided that we're gonna cool things off. (Good facial expressions.) KR, sad for his friend: Wait, you mean split up? JE: Yeah. Just until we both figure out what we want. *looks down kinda sad but also an "i don't talk about emotions" way* KR: Man, I'm so sorry. JE: Anyway. *starts ignoring him* KR: Look, brother, if you need anything, you know I'm always here… What? Friendship<3 also "brother" is such a Term

WHOA THE BRO GOT THE GIRL? Cafe jouer not cafe jouerre bro Either it's weird how he remembers all the details or they got burned into his brain bc of that event or it's weird how he remembers all the details bc they would be overshadowed by the horror.

KR: It wasn't someone Melanie worked with. I just tracked down George Banner, Melanie's manager at Flywide Travel twenty years ago. He said Melanie had two co-workers: KR: both guys. RC: A-ha. KR: Married. RC: Still… KR: To each other. (XD WOW) RC: Oh. I mean bisexuality, maybe they invited her to join idk The way castle's hair moves lol

It is not going to be him Ooh strong man there WOAH DETECTIVE SMITH!? Yeah I can understand why you... wait he killed her too I forgot AS: You're both very smart, but you're forgetting one thing. Me: you have a gun? AS: This house is haunted. Nice, lights out scene, fun. Now becks has also lost her gun, maybe ryan won't feel so bad about tyson getting the drop on him.

AS: Get on your knees. *castle starts moving* KB: Don't worry, Castle. He's not gonna shoot us. That won't fit the legend. AS: *pulls a sexy knife* rysposito had better be around Technically that's illegal tho

Ooh castle is so right! Jack sinclair's ghost was TOTALLY solving the murder! Sussy elevator (are ghosts canonically real?)

Oh no I feel bad for ashlexis. Castle said "goin'a" like "going ta" except since n & t are in the same place in the mouth he just said goin'a, not quite "gonna" Cuddling <3 Flesh eating zombies I love their father daughter love time Wait am I in the zombie movie? As soon as they press play we're going to be attacked by zombies!

[missjoemarch]

━━━━━ monday mood.

Hello~! Today I thought of starting a journal <3 because I was bored ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

Honestly, idk wat to write abt (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) but I hav so many notebooks around. Mama gives me one every Christmas even tho I don't ask for one 💀

AnYwayS it's late alr (it's literally 2am) I hav class tomorrow. Crossing my fingers I don't wake up late–

... I jinxed myself (⁠ب⁠_⁠ب⁠), Emma thinks grimly while looking around the room for an empty chair. To be fair, I usually wake up late so did I really jinx myself? 

She visibly brightens when a hand shoots up to wave at her frantically, and rushes to the empty seat beside her best best friend.

"Machan!" "Kocchan!" The girls beam at seeing each other.

"Why are you late?" Kumiko asks the other unpacking her books.

Emma shrugs, "I found some notebooks yesterday while I was cleaning. I was thinking maybe I should start journaling again... Hehe I got distracted and slept late."

Her friend looks unimpressed by this. "Knowing you, you probably didn't even write much OR finish cleaning..." Kumiko crosses her arms to stare Emma down like their homeroom teacher would if he found out she entered class late. "Emerson Brown, you stayed up reading mangas again didn't you?"

Emma smiles sheepishly, guilty as charged. She didn't expect less from her best friend. That girl knows her from her OTP to the many shōjo mangas hidden all around her dorm, especially between and behind the folded clothes in her closet.

"Hahh... Maybe I should tell Haida-kun he can sit next to me next time so you'll be pressured to come to class earlier." Kumiko looks away, sighing.

Emma gasps, "You wouldn't! You said you love me 😞-"

"You're right I won't lol. My heart belongs to Gallahan only 😩-" They talk at the same time.

"Bruh."

"I-I mean- Why would I do that to my bfff? I love you 🥺 🫶"

Emma looks down, a shadow casting over her features, "No. I get it..." She looks up with stars in her eyes. "Gallahan is the best!"

"I know right!!!" The two fangirls giggle over their best boi from the most recent manhwa they were reading.

The door opens and everyone stands up to greet their teacher, "Good morning, Sensei!"

As they sit back down, Emma grins mischievously. "Hehe~ I know another reason why you don't let Haida-kun sit next to you: You can't fangirl over our sensei with anyone else!" Emma nudges a flustered Kumiko playfully.

"H-hey! You're so loud!" She nudges her back harder, making Emma laugh.

• • •

"I can't believe it's only Monday and we have what? 4 presentations due on Friday already?? ... Can you believe it?" Kumiko rants while they wait for their takoyaki.

Emma lets out a long sigh. "Is the takoyaki done? (⁠●⁠´⁠⌓⁠`⁠●⁠)" 

Kumiko shoots her now zombie-looking friend a sympathetic look.

"Here are your orders, miss."

She hurriedly thanks the seller for the takoyaki and hands Emma her bowl. She watches her friend's face color with life at the smell of food, and exhales in relief at seeing her friend back to normal. 

Emma immediately eats one, whole. While eating her own share, Kumiko watches as sparkles and flowers appear around a happy Emma. She always has this aura whenever she eats food. Seeing her enjoy eating just makes you wanna enjoy food as much as she does. 

"Ohh I have an idea!"

"Yeah? Tell me." Kumiko's reply is muffled by the food in her mouth.

Emma smiles even wider, "Café study date! You and me."

"OM to the G. Yes!" The two continue to make plans while walking to the main yard.

"We can take turns with the bill."

Emma hums in agreement. "Yeah sure! Do you wanna go to the cat café we went to last Christmas?"

"I don't think we can handle those cute distractions... Oh!! Maybe we can go to the café near my house!"

"Kocchan, what did you just say about distractions?"

"Just because the waiter is cute doesn't mean I'll get distracted 😌"

"kocCHANN 💀"

"Okok fineee." Kumiko stops at the sight of the main gate. "We're here. Let's just continue later."

Emma nods, "Kk! I'll walk you there. I need to throw this too."

"You're done already?"

"And you're not?"

Kumiko pauses and blinks at her friend. She laughs and the two hug. "Bye, Machan! See you tomorrow!" "See you, Kocchan! Get home safe."

Emma continues to wave until Kumiko turned the corner and disappeared from her view.

She turns around and heads to the dormitories. As she enters the third dormitory building, her phone rings. 

𝘖𝘮𝘢𝘦 𝘸𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘪𝘳𝘶. (っ◔◡◔)っ 𝒰𝓉𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓊𝒾𝓉𝒶 𝓀💍𝓃🌸 ♥𝒹𝑒𝓀❁ 𝓉🌞𝓃𝓉💗𝓃 𝓉𝒶𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓉𝒶 𝓃💗 𝓌𝒶 🎀 🍓⋆

She gets excited when she sees the caller's name. Ma!

"Hi Ma!" Emma greets. "How are you?"

"I'm not your mA."

She pauses for a second then brightens at the familiar voice. "Lia-neesan!!"

"Hey Machan. How's your day?"

"Meh. The usual hell 😮‍💨 We have 4 presentations due on Friday already! And guess what?"

"Hm?" Her sister hums.

"I'm groupmates with annoying freeloaders ://"

"Bruh. Again?"

"I know right!"

"Good luck."

Emma laughs at her sister's tone. "Anyway, why are you calling from Ma's phone? Where is she? Can I talk to her?"

There is a pause from the other side. Worried that the signal became shit, Emma calls her sister. "Neesan? Can you hear me?"

On the other side of the call, Dahlia bites her lip. Hearing her sister call her makes her sigh. "Mama... She wanted to call you but Nico and Mikey drew on Drea's face so she had to go check that out. That's why I called instead to ask how you're doing... but she did want to call you! It's just..."

Emma doesn't hear anything after her sister told her about Ma checking on what happened to Andrea. What was I expecting?

Mama and Papa are always too busy for me. Always too busy with work and taking care of the four monsters I call my younger siblings, that they don't have time for me anymore. 

Sometimes I feel like they don't even remember I exist.

I bet Lia-neesan was the one who reminded Ma to call me because she knows that I'm lonely here.

If it wasn't for her or Kocchan, I don't know if anyone would even remember me. In a lot of people's lives, I'm just some background character. Even my classmates or teachers don't notice me that much. I'm not that "special" or "important." Not even to my family... 

"... Machan..." Dahlia's gentle tone snaps Emma from her self-deprecating trance.

"Yeah? I'm here." Emma tries to smile, forgetting her sister can't see her. She starts to rummage through her bag for the dorm keys. A distraction.

"Wednesday is my day off. Movie night?"

Emma sighs, "Lia-neesan... I have class on Thursday..."

"So? We can do it earlier and finish around 10. Or are you turning down the traditional cheese ramen I make for our movie nights?"

"Wait! I didn't say you couldn't come-"

"Too bad~ I have been perfecting my recipe in my free time. Oh well, maybe you can just eat Dahlia's Grand Ultimate Cheese Ramen of Yum some other time~ like maybe next week because I'll be busy with work~ or maybe even next, nEXt week~!" Emma could hear her sister smirking as she spoke.

Sighing, she gives in. "Okayyy fine. Only until 10!"

"Mhm. But I bet you'll be the one to ask to watch another movie." Dahlia chuckles and Emma couldn't help smiling at her sister's efforts to cheer her up.

"Thank you..."

"Anytime Machann~"

"Dahlia!" Emma freezes at the faint sound of her mom's voice. 

"Ma, I'm talking to-"

"Dahlia!!" 

Dahlia exhales at their mom's persistence. "Ma's calling me. Probably to help sort the quarrel out. Bye! See you on Wednesday."

The happiness Emma felt left as quickly as it came. "Ah... Bye."

Click!

She opens the door, only to be greeted by a dark, messy dorm. Kocchan was right when she said she didn't finish cleaning. Emma meant to, but she got distracted with the journal, which was still open and in the middle of a scatter of bujo materials, then the mangas she uncovered from their hiding places.

She drops her bag and flops on the Totoro bean bag, sighing.

Spotting the open notebook makes Emma wonder if she'd be able to write something... worth writing about. An adventure of a lifetime or even just a simple but nice memory with her family or friends (if ever she makes any more, which she probably won't). Other than Dahlia, it's been a while since she really bonded with the rest of her family.

She couldn't go home last weekend because she had to finish researching for a paper. Actually, she hasn't come home for the weekend for a while, but it seems like no one noticed anyway. 

Even during most of the breaks, she wouldn't come home—not because she didn't want to, but because she couldn't. Just last sem break, there was a problem so she had to stay with Kumiko and her family. They made her feel at home and she very much enjoyed her stay there... but she also wished she could enjoy being with her own family again too.

She curls into a fetal position and hugs her legs tightly. Even with all the stuffed toys, mangas and other room decors, her dorm still feels empty.

A squeak interrupts her thoughts, erasing that numbing feeling of loneliness crawling all over her again. Emma turns to see her dorm mate peering at her intently from behind the cage bars. She smiles at her furry friend, "At least I have you, Ham-Sam."

Ham-Sammy continues to stare into her soul, reminding her of her promise to him this morning. She was in a rush, having no time to even heat food, so she just stuffed cold bread in her mouth and placed some on his food bowl too.

Emma pouts, Damn, I can't even be sentimental with the only living creature who lives with me ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ 

Sticking her tongue out at her hamster, she grabs her bag and digs through the contents for the container she brought from the cafeteria. It's filled with greens, and Hammy's favorite: celery!

Taking one from the container, she waves it in front of him. She giggles as she observes Ham-Sammy go crazy at the sight of food.

He seems to squeak indignantly at her teasing and she snorts, unable to keep her laughter in. "Okay, okay! Here you go~"

Emma lifts the latch and opens the door. As she reaches to place the celery in his bowl, the little thing jumps on her hand and practically flies out.

"H-hey! Ham!!" She drops the celery and immediately chases after that sneaky rat.

"Come back here!"

"Hey! Don't you wanna eat?? I have celery!!" 

"Ham-Sam you little-"

No matter what she says, the critter doesn't listen, enjoying his freedom (and giving his owner a hard time).

After scrambling here and there, Ham-Sammy finds the celery Emma dropped and stops to eat it.

Seizing the opportunity to catch him, Emma starts to tiptoe nearer. She opens her arms, forming an "o" to trap him. She starts to kneel slowly... then swoop! He squeaks in surprise as she catches him. "HA!"

A black hole suddenly appears right underneath her and she falls, screaming all the way down.

[lemememeringue]

love dysfunctional families and how what you think is a financial issue is actually just a breakdown in communication bc two ppl just happen to trigger meltdowns in each other constantly

[startledbirb]

.

[wintergojo]

OKOK LONG TIME NO TALK BESTIEEE !

Feel free to ignore this ask if you don't like talking about elections:)

As May 9 is coming near, I'll be straightforward for your filipino audiences:>

Who is your president?

Btw hruuu babess??

KAZIIIIII 🥺🥺 I MISSED U 😭💔

i rlly can't vote yet (rip) but it's def no. 10 🌸🌷!! her educational attainment & work integrity is what this country needs (that full disclosure bill should be a law asap) + her track records & what she managed to do despite the v limited budget of her office just really shows how much she cares abt serving us (i can have make a huge ass essay abt this but i don't think this is the place lol)

and i'm good!! we had our grad pic todei 🥳 (we still have a month and 2 weeks b4 classes ends tho)

hbu thooo? how's school and ur life? 😚

[winchesternova-k]

i hate dealing with the uncle. so. fucking. much. i had to YELL at him over the phone today to get him to listen to me abt my ma’s bed and what i’d been told by the package provider. he’s been told smth else (smth much more pleasing and most likely a lie bc she’s lied to us in the past to keep business) and he wouldn’t fucking listen bc he ALWAYS knows best. my dad said to me this morning that he thinks the uncle is trying to push me out bc he’s got power of attorney and the way he kept bringing it up while talking to my ma i think my dad was onto smth tbh

he also thinks that once he’s been dealing w the aged care system for a while and knows what he’s doing he’ll ‘nail it’ and i actually had to stop myself laughing at that bc BITCH i’ve been doing this FIVE FUCKING YEARS and i still can’t work it bc the system is set up to cause problems and the package provider is fucking lying to us both

so now it looks like i’m gonna have to find a way to pay for the bed on my own bc he won’t fucking listen to me and he’s determined to do it his way (and way that will in the end hurt my ma) and my ma and i have decided to look for a new package provider bc this is ridiculous

and on top of that he told me off abt the power bill for no goddamn reason bc NOW he reveals to me he’s going to ask them to look into it, but only after lecturing me abt it. hes also revealed that w the power bill there will be no money left in the account for groceries so fuck knows what i’m gonna do abt that. he also guilt tripped my ma abt the bills even tho HE decided he was going to pay them. he didn’t ask. he just did. and now he’s being manipulative and playing the victim bc he doesn’t want to help w the equipment (he’s much better off financially than we are btw and never fails to boast abt it, except when it’s more convenient not to be so he can guilt trip or manipulate us) it’s also his fault he’s still paying for her respite too bc he didn’t set things up properly w centrelink. like this is 100% of his own making and yet he’s trying to make her feel bad and me feel like i’m an idiot for asking for smth she needs to be able to come home

at least my ma managed to tell him not to come and clean at the house ig