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sheltershock · 1 year

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(Sorry for the long text post, but if you want to read, this is a 2k word essay about Sasha’s backstory.)

I know that Sasha running away from home after discovering as a child that his parents had sex is a well known, and often joked about, aspect of his character. However, to me, I don’t think that is the reason he ran away from home. That earth shattering discovery might have been the catalyst, but not the reason.

Trigger Warning for Emotional Neglect.

There’s a lot to say about Sasha and his level/mindscape, which is great. But something that has always fascinated and impressed me was the memory vaults specifically. Sasha’s two memory vaults not only helps flesh out his character, makes him relatable to the player, and thoroughly explains his relationship dynamic with Razputin. And all of this is done without words.

The first big thing to say about Sasha’s First Loss is that it’s the only memory vault to be displayed in first person(in the typical style. Loboto’s is in 3D so it’s different), aka through Sasha’s eyes. The artistic reason why it’s in first person is because since Sasha is a baby at this point in his life, the artist can use baby furniture and his size to set up framing and composition to tell the story. The story reason for why it’s in first person is because more emotional emphasis can be placed more on his father. Whenever we see tragic stuff in memory vaults we get to see the character who experienced the memory so we can see their anger/sadness/joy/etc. But there’s already emotional baggage next to the vault and it’s titled “Sasha’s First Loss” so we already know what emotion is attached going in. But seeing Sasha’s father’s reaction to his wife’s death is actually really important contextually looking at Sasha’s early life.

The thing is, his dad never really got over his mom’s death. And that ruined everything. It’s like if the start of your life to the end was a race you had to run, and then the announcer says “ready, get set, go” and fired the gun into the air to start the race, waited five seconds, and then shot Sasha in the ankle and expected him to keep going. Of course this leg of the race was going to end horribly.

After we see Sasha’s mother’s soul leave her body, the next slide is of Sasha watching through a window as his dad is grieving/burying his wife. His hand is on the window, as if to reach out to where his parents are, but the pane of glass physically blocks them from reaching each other. This is the first artistic representation of their father-son relationship after his mother’s death. Distance.

The slide after the burying scene is the last one of the memory vault, and it’s my favorite. It depicts Sasha looking at his dad through bars of a baby gate. On Sasha’s side, in the foreground, are blocks and baby toys on a soft blanket. On the other side of the gate, in the middle ground, is a framed photo of his mother sitting, perpetually smiling behind a pane of glass. And in the background of the image, his father is sitting as far as he can be from the foreground, looking out a window with his hands folded and an open book in his lap. I love how the bars of the babygate separate the layers of the image from his dad and the photo of his mom. Especially with the detail that the photo is physically closer to Sasha than his actual living father, yet is still barred from both of them. You can really see the emotional distance the tragedy has caused for the two of them.

This slide not only utilizes the distance from the previous slide, but also introduces a new concept, attention. Despite the fact that your wife just died and you have an infant/toddler to look after, Sasha’s father has instead elected to read a book and look out a window. He doesn’t look at his child, which is a detail that returns in the second vault.

In Sasha’s Second Sight the first slide contains a far older, but still really young, Sasha working in the cobbling store with his dad. This memory vault is in the traditional third person point of view so we can actually see Sasha’s face this time. Again, the distance between the two is obvious. Sasha is in the foreground on the right side, meanwhile his father is in the background but on the left. It’s immediately clear that they never really got closer all these years later. Another detail is that even though they’re both working, Sasha is still looking towards his dad, like in the previous vault, yet his dad’s attention still isn’t on him.

The second slide depicts them both at a work table, but his father is the only one working. Sasha is instead holding up a picture of his mom, the same one from the first vault, and asking about her, meanwhile his dad refuses to share anything. While they are physically closer in this slide, all that credit is removed by the fact that his father’s back is turned to Sasha. Creating yet another barrier between the two.

The third slide is Sasha attempting to look into his father’s thoughts because despite the fact his surname literally means “no” he does not want to take that as an answer. His father’s back is still turned to his son, but he’s grasping his face, clearly still grieving after all this time. We already know what happens on slides four through six, mind reading stuff. Instead I’m skipping to slide seven, where Sasha is now very mentally disturbed.

In his panic, he’s actually turned to face away from his father, but is still glancing towards his direction. And the final slide, slide eight, Sasha runs away from home. Again the distance is there, and stronger than ever. Sasha’s in the foreground, his dad is in the background, and Sasha’s already down the street with a bag over his shoulder. Interestingly enough, Sasha is still glancing back towards his dad, as he watches his son run away from home from the doorway of the store. His dad is just standing there, watching this happen. He’s not calling out for him, or asking if he’s going to be coming back, he just watches. And this is the second time in both memory vaults that his dad actually looks in Sasha’s general direction. I’m serious. The first time was before his wife died and he’s making eye contact with Sasha as his wife does that thing people like to do where they toss their baby into the air and catch them(Sasha’s First Loss, Slide Three). After that point, he never looks at his son until he’s actively running away from him.

Okay, so what’s the point of this? The two big things, distance and attention. Both memory vaults have shown both how far apart emotionally they are from each other, and how Sasha is always looking towards his dad but never getting his attention. And I understand why his dad is acting like this. Loss is complicated and if you get stuck with a child that actively reminds you of that person you lost and is asking about them, I understand why he’d avert his eyes. However, Sasha is a child, with only one living parent that will not look at him. I ask you this: what exactly is Sasha losing by running away from home from an emotional standpoint? Absolutely nothing. All he had of his mother was a framed photo, hidden behind glass, much like the image of his father grieving over a grave. That's all they are to each other, they knew this woman, but in two very clearly different ways. But now, Sasha’s perspective on his mother has changed due to mind reading. He wouldn’t be living with this man who knew his mother and be willing to endure a tense living situation for stories. Now the tension has evolved into discomfort as all this man’s stories will have that underlying image of what he saw, and he doesn’t even seem to like having Sasha around.

Another point towards my argument that it was the neglect that led to the decision is that we know from Razputin that running away is technically a decision that can be reversed. You could go back home, or a relative can go get you and bring you back. But in the last slide of Sasha running away, his father isn’t going to go chase after his kid like Augustus would do. Sasha’s father just kind of… accepts it? He doesn’t know that his kid read his mind, all he’s aware of is that after years of raising this child, he runs away from home and just lets it happen. And from Sasha’s perspective, while yes, his mind is probably torturing himself with new knowledge, he’s still looking back from where he came. But much like how his father’s back was turned to him, creating a barrier between them, his father is standing in front of the store’s door. And his father is built like a fridge, so there might as well be a blockade in front of the door. If your own dad won’t even look in your general direction why the hell would you want to go back to that with the added pressure of already having run away?

Okay, so remember Razputin? It’s fun seeing all the mentor/dad-figure Sasha and Raz content; and it’s very sweet. But it actually makes sense from a character perspective in the text. Sasha’s grown up now and becomes an international superstar secret agent, gets to be a camp counselor, and suddenly this child who’s extremely psychically gifted breaks into the camp. Turns out that this kid ran away from home…and doesn’t want his father to come pick him up due to some strange related angst. Huh. Compelling. Of course Sasha sees himself in this child he’s known for like two hours. It’s like looking into the past really, and Sasha is dying for the chance to take this kid aside for some tests, alone from everyone else. Sasha sees a lot of untapped potential in this kid, and doesn’t doubt the damage Razputin can do. And now he’s teaching this kid PSI-Blast and trying to impart life lessons like keeping control of the mind… He’s putting himself in danger through this shooting course, and ends up pushing Raz out of the way when things really start taking a turn for the worse and making himself take on any pain. He’s letting Raz make a few mistakes, but making sure he’s safe. Just like a parent would do… And oddly enough, throughout the Marksmanship lesson, he’s always keeping a watchful gaze over Razputin and standing close enough that he can feel his presence but not invade the kid’s personal space. It’s almost like he’s stepping into a father figure role for this runaway. Because that is exactly what Sasha’s doing, whether it’s intentional from him or not.

I like to think that Sasha being there as a support for Raz in a way that he wanted/needed as a child is actually a form of healing for him. It’s like that thing where new parents try to be a better version of their parents so they can prevent mistakes. I know Raz was unconscious while Augustus was walking around talking to all the adults so we never get to see him interact with Sasha. But I like to think that he’d be relieved that Razputin’s father immediately chased after his son. And especially relieved that Augustus acknowledges his past wrongdoing and is going to make more of an effort to be there in support of Razputin. It’s sweet to me that at the end of the first game Sasha specifically includes Raz for the Truman Kidnapping mission, stepping up to him, looking down at him and referring to Raz as their “anti-kidnapping specialist.”

Sasha’s backstory always seemed pretty emotionally complex to me, and naturally fit with his relationship with Raz. And like how Milla’s name is pronounced with the obvious “a boy I thought was cute said it wrong so I will say it wrong the rest of my life” explanation is just a surface level, but still valid interpretation, this is my interpretation of Sasha’s early life and the decision to run away.

#psychonauts #sasha nein #psychonauts razputin #razputin aquato #tw: neglect #tw: emotional neglect #essay #shelti essays #this is 2k words #I did this for fun after getting off work and then finishing it when I woke up the next morning #honestly I could write a ton of essays about sasha #he’s a great character in canon and fanon

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sim-bad · 5 months

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last summer I was at my local green space writing and playing music on my speakers among other sunbathers. at some point some angry guy stomped in the park & try agress me about using my speakers on some ‘why don’t u play it in ur earphones’ type shit and a nearby sunbather came to my defence and said he was enjoying my music and rallied the other bathers to agree that they were also enjoying my music to ward him away.

after that we got into a chat about some of the discography I was running. I was playing astrud gilberto, ziyad al rahbani, betty carter, mid-air thief, salami rj louis like real mellow summers day shit! he complimented my ear and asked me if I made music I told him I just listened. he said to me “u should play because u can hear and if u cannot hear u cannot play even if u were taught” anyway, come to find he’s migrated from Japan to London, former band member for many years here and a mathematician and he was telling me about the mathematics behind musical theory, tempo and different progressions. we exchanged some artists and musicians and he gave me a name to search up in Bandcamp for his compositions but my adhd brain misplaced that paper and all I have are some other artists I had noted down as we spoke.

Before we go our separate ways he tells me to visit some cafe local to the park, two roads down from where I live. he says his friend owns the place if I say I know him I will get a discount. (cafe above) this is now one of my sacred local homesteads in ends. the guy who owns the cafe is a musician who makes a mean poached egg prosciutto olive oil fresh tomato spiel for me when I go. the framed images are exhibitions that he organises, so the art on the wall of the cafe is never the same. there’s also a board for anyone to add their flyers to. two acoustic guitars at the entrance and any kinda sweet wonderful person will rock up there and you’ll have a great conversation. any kinda background, builder, poet, musician, social workers, parents, old time friends. anytime I’ve gone I’ve randomly spoken to a stranger or a regular that’ll figuratively give me a handful of glitter to put in my mental pocket.

today I was explaining to some regulars, a duo of super dapper older English lads that I use noise cancelling headphones to help me filter out excessive sound that overstimulates me but I’m usually not actually listening to anything when I’m there. Mario plays a great selection so I usually tap in and chat for a while. they said they always knew I could hear them and they thought I was doing it for style (cute lol) the guys were super compassionate about my expression and were like ‘I’ve never heard of that before but I’m glad you do that to make yourself comfortable’. I gave another random customer a fit check. he came in and asked if his coat was too formal for the rest of the outfit he had on. it was a sort of navy lined jacket but he had well tailored corduroy bottoms some trainers and a brown and yellow addidas hoodie zipped up underneath. he had some sort of business casual meeting to attend I said the proportions of the lined coat matched his bottoms so he looked tidy and I appreciated the colour and texture combos. he said thanks for the review and left.

I forgot the guy at the park’s name. I’ve never seen him since, not at the park nor the cafe. I didn’t ask for contact details cause I just sort of intuitively thought I would likely see him local since we both lived in the area and it’s not that deep. I still think I probably will bump into him idk how or when but when I do I’ll thank him for introducing me to this place and give him my review of the music he put me on and carfet nobu and wata igarashi. i wrote the first edition of my newsletter in the park that day. i think i would share it with him too since the music inspired a lot of the expression. I felt too shy to share at the time despite him asking.

once upon a time my inner monologue would bark at me for speaking so much and perceived my curiosity and ability to engage as gullible and flighty. but man every fucking conversation every random interaction and exchange of resonance touches me and just gives me more glitter to put in my mental pocket. the juices of this life. the pure and innocent exchange with no expectation just absorbing what is good is something I value on a day to day basis. that conversation with that stranger that exchange of smile with a passerby that person who let u through the door - people you’ll never see again. or maybe will. who knows. thanks for the part u play in giving me a glimmer of vigor.

in a life that is transient in essence, larger concepts like joy, compassion and love are infinite.

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animehouse-moe · 1 year

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Oshi No Ko Episode 2: Third Option

If there was ever going to be an indicator as to what the quality of Oshi no Ko would actually be like, it's this episode. A single 24 minute stretch with Aqua and Ruby settled into their stories. And what does this episode tell you? Well, that the story is far more particular and slow moving forward, and that it's (like sections of the first episode) lazy. So I'll break it down a little bit here.

I'll get the story out of the way: it's inoffensive. They're setting the stage, but the characters feel somewhat hollow in doing so. The exposition carries no energy or flair so it can end up feeling very dry. Regardless of delivery though, the sentiment and information within is pretty solid. Aqua absolutely refuses to allow Ruby to go off and be an idol, which is a totally valid decision. They express and explore it well as Aqua uses his previous life to make his current one a breeze. I think a little more could be done about Aqua's resolve and his relationship with the director, but it is only really the first episode for him in this state.

Bringing back the child actor that Aqua was placed against in his early days is a nice touch, but the sort of "longing" that they express in their first meeting feels weird. Unless it's a guise for hatred or appreciation it feels pointless for a child to have held onto for so long.

And Truthfully, I don't think there's anything else that really grips me with the story here. It's a setup and exposition, they're getting the band (read: Idol Group) back together and starting off at school. Nothing really to write home about in that regard.

Now adaptation wise? Yeah, there's a lot going on that I want to complain about, particularly composition. But we'll get there in a bit. They opened the episode (after the OP) with this. Yeah. Great way to engage viewers and make them think the episode is going to be great.

I just don't understand how you open an episode with this. Sure, there's little bits inbetween here and there, but it's literally a black screen with text coming across it. It feels outright lazy, so much so that they couldn't be bothered to come up with anything else to display it.

So yeah, that's how they set the tone for the episode, but don't worry the content within also helps live up to the expectations. I think the most egregious thing for me was the composition. The characters and the environment just don't work at all together in a lot of scenes. And it's not just art and characters butting heads, look at Heavenly Delusion. The environment is totally different from the characters, but they mesh perfectly fine and don't end up with eyesores like these. It's like all those jokes about Disney movies and being able to tell which objects will be interacted with. Except, with this first example, the dish with something on it isn't interacted with. Nor is the phone or anything besides the juice box.

Anyways, more examples! Aqua stands out painfully against the art style of the background here, and so does his slippers.

And then there's stuff like this. Yeah, this first scene/angle looks perfectly normal. Or well, as close as normal can be to normal. The coffee mug next to the container of pens and whatnot is pretty obviously out of place, but it's better than some of the other stuff.

Also funny little detail! The coffee cup moves between cuts for zero reason. Miyako doesn't touch or move the cup, but it gets placed directly in front of her in some cuts without reason or purpose.

Anyways, another pointless piece of poor compositing. They don't pick up or move any of the awards or trophies so I can't fathom why they force them to stick out so badly. Even worse is the fact that the glass award is out of place, but the framed one is not.

And there's lots of examples of this throughout the episode, but I think my point's been made. There's a whole bunch of needless layering that creates jarring environments where there doesn't need to be. It's confusing.

Though it's not confusing but equally bothersome is the direction. It feels largely similar to the worse parts of episode 1. A lot of headshots of characters with nothing else in the environment and minimal motion. They do good when expressing full body movements, but they take a lot and place that focus on faces. On top of that, there's a lot of cycled animation. Plenty of scenes that remain moving but only through repetition, and it's really quite obvious with shorter ones like this.

And here's yet another example just to help drive the point home. It's super easy to come off as dismissive when providing negative commentary on something, so hopefully giving more examples will help explain it better.

Now you might be thinking, "aren't you just nitpicking everything?", and in a sense you're correct. But here's the thing - there's nothing to stop me from doing that. There's nothing where I can say, "well, X is actually doing really well so I'll give Y a pass". There's nothing that really speaks out and says "hey, give us a little break because we put our effort here".

The season opener seems to have gotten everyone hook line and sinker, and whether they just put their effort into the start or they calculated it and wanted to reel people in for the season I have no idea. But I do know that even for anime onlies this is is not 9+ territory. The story can only carry so far, and on such an expected episode there's no justification for it. There's chances ahead for Doga Kobo to come out swinging, but any attempt to establish dominance over how "quality" this adaptation is going to be has gone out of the window. I'll probably end up watching it still since Wednesdays are rather empty for me, but between what amounts to now 4 or even 5 episodes worth of content, they really don't give me a reason to engage with the anime over the manga.

#oshi no ko #my star #推しの子 #ai hoshino #ruby hoshino #aqua hoshino #aquamarine hoshino #anime review #anime and manga #anime

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jose-jeulandsg · 21 days

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Jose Jeuland: Capturing Essence of Elegance in Singapore and Beyond – By Jose Jeuland

With so many luxury hotels and small boutique accommodations in Singapore, the need for exceptional hotel photography has never been greater. A hotel’s visual representation is crucially important in the acquisition of guests as it showcases its aesthetics, charm or uniqueness. It is at this point that Jose Jeuland, a well-known Hotel Photographer comes to play when he employs his artistic mind and technical knowhow to bring out these qualities.

The Art of Hotel Photography

Hotel photography is a complex genre that requires intimate knowledge not only about the hotel industry but also about how photography works. This art goes beyond merely documenting rooms and facilities; it tells a story combining visual elements that imply luxury or taste of an establishment among others. He stands tall in his craft since through his skills he brings out what architecture, interior design and ambience defines each particular building.

Jose Jeuland: The Maestro of Hotel Photography

Jose Jeuland’s journey into the world of photography speaks volumes about his love for it. With years of experience behind him and a wide ranging portfolio he has perfected himself in his trade. Jose who lives in Singapore has worked with many prestigious hotels making them look better through amazing visuals like those seen on postcards. His methodical approach ensures that every aspect of shot taking corresponds to the notion being expressed by the hotel.

Showcasing Singapore’s Luxurious Hotels

In Singapore lie multiple luxurious hotels each having their own distinct features. From extravagant fixtures within five star lodgings to cozy settings characteristic of boutique establishments, Jeuland can shoot anything you want. In fact, some names include Intercontinental Shangri-La Grand Hyatt etc. Through capturing these images using my camera lens I want people to see how elegant they are thereby convincing potential customers to try them for themselves.

The Technical Expertise

It takes a lot of technical skills and imagination to be able to do hotel photography. He combines both aspects in utilizing advanced photographic techniques and state-of the art equipment, which enable him to obtain high-quality images. Understanding that lighting, composition, and perspective are key elements in making photos visually attractive is something this artist has mastered. He believes that every element within the frame contributes to the overall narrative.

A Focus on Detail

Jose Jeuland is a photographer who pays attention to details while taking pictures for hotels. He acknowledges that each object within the photo plays its part in the story it tells. While arranging all the items in a room or selecting shots with natural light, he is aware of what needs to be focused on for each hotel. This detailed approach gives more than meaning; it enables potential clients to view what they will perhaps if they book a room there.

Enhancing Brand Identity

In today’s digital age, good visual identity is vital for any hotel establishment. High quality photographs play an important role in developing such an identity as well as maintaining it. Jose Jeuland helps them understand their own brands so that they can be guided by these while coming up with excellent photographs of their properties. With his help, many hotels are able to attract more guests and increase their booking rates by showing them from an outstanding angle.

Power of Storytelling

Storytelling is one of the main aspects of Hotel Photography. Jose Jeuland has a unique talent in making these stories real through photography. From architectural beauty to various experiences, he captures what the hotel is really about. Possible visitors can see themselves enjoying luxury and comfort in their rooms through this man’s camera which increases their chances of going there.

Specific Services For Each Hotel

Jose Jeuland knows that every hotel is unique and therefore needs its own photo coverage. He offers personalized services as per the requirements of his clients. This could be an extensive shoot covering all aspects of the hotel or targeted images of specific locations; whatever it may be Jose delivers a tailored plan for all situations. His flexibility coupled with quality ensures improved results over client expectations.

The Impact Of Professional Hotel Photography

For a hotel, professional photos are more than just an expense; they contribute to its success. A good picture on your site will not only attract more customers but also boost your online presence as well. In today’s era where most bookings are done through the internet, having visually appealing photographs makes all the difference. In this competitive industry, the work by Jose Jeuland makes hotels stand out beyond others and attracts people who care about where they stay.

Conclusion

Singapore, a vibrant city with a booming hospitality industry cannot do without skilled hotel photographers like any other thriving business center in Asia Pacific region, therefore requires highly skilled individuals to help them in such endeavors. Through hard work and dedication to his craft, Jose Jeuland has managed to create his own niche within this market space so that today he is recognized as one of Singapore’s leading photographers within this field. He is among those whom you can hire when you need nothing but perfect visual representation of hotels at any given time for attracting guests and improving brand identity including social media presence. Thus it is certain that the demand for professional hotel photographs will only grow, as the market for hotels in Singapore will continue to evolve and Jose Jeuland will be indispensable in this effort of showing their grandeur to the planet.

#Hotel Photographer singapore

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adhilkn · 2 months

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5 c's of cinematography

The art and craft of capturing visual storytelling is known as cinematography. Knowing the five C's of cinematography is essential for anyone working in graphic design and filmmaking to make visually stunning movies. These guidelines will improve your work and help you realize your creative vision, whether you're an aspiring or seasoned director.

1. Camera Angles

The viewer's perception of a scene is influenced by camera angles. You can bring emotions to light, create tension, or present a character's point of view by choosing the appropriate angle. Eye level, high angle, low angle, and Dutch tilt are examples of common angles. The story is enhanced by the distinct psychological effects that each angle offers.

2. Compositions

The arrangement of the visual elements inside the frame is referred to as composition. A well-designed composition draws the audience in and strengthens the narrative. The rule of thirds, leading lines, and framing are important strategies. A well-balanced composition brings visual elements together, creating a clear and captivating tale.

3. Continuity

A film's visual flow is made smooth and consistent by continuity. It entails keeping things like lighting, props, and actor placements constant from shot to shot. In addition to keeping the viewer focused on the narrative and preventing confusion caused by visual discrepancies, proper consistency also reduces distractions.

4. Color

In order to establish the tone and mood of a scene, color is essential. It can arouse feelings, denote a place or period of time, and draw attention to crucial details. Cinematographers enhance the film experience by creating visual harmony or contrast with color palettes and lighting.

5. coverage

To ensure a wide variety of pictures, coverage entails capturing a scene from several perspectives and takes. This comprises over-the-shoulder, close-up, and wide images. Enough coverage gives editors flexibility during editing, resulting in a final cut that is lively and well-paced.

In summary

For the purpose of making visually appealing movies, one must become proficient in the five C's of cinematography: coverage, color, composition, continuity, and camera angles. These ideas direct the telling of stories through the lens and assist filmmakers in creating emotionally engaging sequences. You can improve your visual storytelling abilities in general as well as your cinematic projects by comprehending and utilizing these approaches.

Being the best graphic designer in Kerala, I make sure that every project I work on is both visually appealing and has a compelling story by incorporating these cinematographic concepts into my design work. Whether you work in design or cinema, adopting these ideas will improve your work and make you stand out in the visual arts community.

more info: my website

#cinematography #graphic design #design #creative writing #creative inspiration #designer #graphic designers #logo design #film photography #film #camera

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sc-street · 5 months

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Sebastien Chou about street photography - Interview 2024

1 Please introduce yourself: What is your name, where are you from, what do you do?

My name is Sébastien Chou, and I'm 51 years old. I was born in France, in Lille, in the North of France. I've been living in Brazil, in Belo Horizonte, for over 10 years now. I am currently a French teacher.

2 What is your relationship with photography and how did you get into it?

I studied art at the fine art school, where photography was already my medium. My work is organized around two axes: on the one hand, more introspective photography, and on the other, street photography, which came much later and more significantly since I've been living in Brazil. These photos are mainly taken with my cell phone. These two facets of my work are organized in the same way: to get out and walk. However, the results and objectives are different.

3 What do you think triggers you to photograph in a certain moment? Is it planned or solely driven by intuition?

As far as street photography is concerned, it's almost a daily activity for me now. And I no longer dissociate it from walking as a physical activity. I usually decide to go into a neighborhood by chance, without any expectations or preconceived ideas. In fact, it's imperative. Surprise is an essential ingredient in my approach. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't know what I'll find, or even if I'll find it. So I can speak of a daily adventure. And then, as I walk, there are certain places where something gets organized and falls into place. In any case, something that's conducive to play, composition, and framing. Light and shadow are usually the triggers. At the moment ,I can't see the details yet. It's all about global composing between colors and geometric shapes. It's only when I get back home to the computer that the little 'internal' stories start to fall into place as far as I'm concerned. But when I'm there, my decisions are very intuitive and absolutely and solely based on composition: I don't see a wall, I see a rectangle. I don't see the sky, but a blue mass. There's very little human presence in my photos, but when there is, it's on the same plane as the rest, a mass, a form, and a potential compositional element. Then everything happens very quickly and instinctively.

4 What is the story you want your pictures to tell?

There's no narrative in the verbal sense of the word, I think, in my pictures. At least, there isn't in my initial position. I don't even think there's any verbal intervention in me at the moment of shooting. No thoughts at all. That's probably what I like about these moments. The brain is on pause. It's no longer the driver. Once again, it's all about shapes, elements, timing (sometimes choreography), and lighting. It's very often the case that I only realize why I've been motivated by a place or a light when I get home and look at the image on my screen. Sometimes it's a color scheme, a vibration of light, or an effect of transparency or opacity. It's very physical, and in my case, it's never expressed in words. Neither in words, nor in ideas. In fact, I often say to myself that if an image can be emotionally summed up in a sentence, it must have something wrong with it. Facades, objects, even people, are above all pretexts for emotional and abstract compositions. I don't want an image to say something, but to show something, and if possible even without defining that ‘something’ exactly.

5 Which city would you like to visit the most, and why 6 What is your personal relationship to cities and how do you perceive them as places in general?

The city of Belo Horizonte, where I currently live, has been and still isn an inexhaustible source of inspiration for me. I'm thinking, in particular, of the city's most popular districts, which offer an incredible wealth of colors, shapes, and architectural arrangements, sometimes even to the point of improbable accumulation. I'm not talking about the poorest neighborhoods or the favelas, but rather the working-class districts that had their moment of glory or peace a few decades ago, but which are now somewhat neglected. There are confrontations between eras and styles, but also the accumulation of different pragmatic logics that can often clash to the point of incoherence. (There's also the vegetation and nature that, mixed in the city, could quite easily reclaim their rights.) It's an incredibly rich playground. Some neighborhoods offer something around every corner. I had the same feeling when visiting Naples. From a historical point of view, nothing seems to be the same, but from a formal point of view, it's a real explosion in both cases. And just like the favelas, and despite the patchwork nature of their development, there can be a certain homogeneity and often a great deal of poetry. There is not a city that I dream of in particular. There is necessarily something to see in each of them.

7 What is the driving force behind creation?

Over time, I've come to realize that the purpose of all this, the creative aspect, lies not in the final object or image, but in the journey towards it. So here I come back to the idea of walking and being surprised. The final image is merely the apparent formal conclusion. In general, we walk from one point to another with a predetermined goal and direction, with a view to optimizing distance and time. Photographic walking offers a totally different filter of appreciation and a different point of view on what we call reality. I don't decide to turn right or left because it's shorter, but because there's light or something that intrigues me. The hierarchy and function of things also get totally turned upside down. Shadows and clouds, for example, which for a functional trajectory are absolutely useless and secondary (or purely ignored) suddenly take center stage. I may very well decide to move a meter or two to the right just on the basis of the position of a shadow or a plastic bag on the ground. The grid of appreciation and reading is completely disrupted; it's clearly another reading (reality?). So, obviously, the image in terms of finality is important, but the whole journey in between, and I'd even say this dimension, this conditioning, is now even more important to me. It's a bit like entering a meditative state, and more often than not, I've noticed that if I can get there, it's often easier to come back with something. So, from a creative point of view, it is indeed a photographic and artistic process, but not just and only. I used to feel a great deal of frustration when I came home without a satisfying image, but that's no longer the case. I know that this walk will find its place another day and in another form, and in another photo.

8 Which project did you never finish?

Nothing to do with photography, but music and sound have always attracted me. I think I listen to music more than I look at photos or images. In the end, it's almost the same thing in my mind: I see a line and arrangements of sounds/notes, and from there, an emotion can be born. In the same way, I very rarely listen to lyrics in music, or else on the same level as the other instruments/as a voice/sound. There's a lot in common between photography and music in that respect, I think. It's all about arrangements. I enjoy looping sounds, but I never finalize anything. So I keep this project in mind of being able to arrange a few tracks in the form of an album of experimental music or a soundtrack for a film. it's a project that's close to my heart. It's clear that I don't have the minimum technical baggage, and that I frequently come up against the same limits. But it's up to me to make the most of it and do something with it soon. I'm not giving up.

9 What is that «one thing» you have never managed to photograph and is now gone for good?

As I never plan anything in advance and let myself go with the unexpected (‘let's get lost'), it's very rare that I feel the frustration of a missed photo. In dreams, however, it's very common! I'm in front of the magic moment, and you can be sure that I won't have any battery to take it! And so…. I usually come back from there …. empty-handed).)

10 If you could travel back/forth in time, what advice would you give your younger / older self?

I'm not going to be very original, but when I was younger, I was impressed by others. They took up a lot of space. That kind of thing fades with time, and from an artistic point of view, it's no longer important. The judgment and gaze of others are obviously taken into account, but it's no longer at the center of everything. So, if I could go back, I'd avoid wasting time on that as much as possible and try to gain time by immersing myself in a project that's close to my heart without paying as much attention to outside opinions and trends. And about to give advice to my older self?… It's difficult to project myself in that direction… To advise someone who I hope will be more experienced and 'accomplished' than I am at present is difficult.

11 What do you prefer saying: «to take a photograph» or to «make a photograph», and why?

"Neither. I like to think we 'find the images, knowing full well that most of the time it's the images that find us.”

12 What is the most interesting experience you have had while photographing?

As I wrote it, now the most important thing about photographic practice is the state it puts me in. It's really the feeling of being in another dimension. It's actually quite addictive and lot of fun too. There's a spirit of play and discovery. It's also like going fishing."

13 If it wasn’t for photography, what would you be interested in doing instead?

Sometimes I want to take care of an old monument, an abandoned theater, a hotel, or an object that has stood the test of time, to restore it and, at the same time, immerse myself for days - months on end in another space-time era. It makes me think that there's also a certain archivist spirit in wanting to photograph these facades and neighborhoods. They're generally quite old, and these kinds of places are clearly destined to disappear. So it's also a way of preserving them and keeping a trace. The first function of a photo is to stop time and keep.

14 How would you describe one of your pictures to a blind person?

As objectively and analytically as possible/ Rectangular image format - Landscape format. Color/printed on semi-gloss paper with a white margin around it (about 2 cm). Quite heavy paper, I'd say 300 g. Facade painted pale blue with vertical moisture marks. Quite an old building (+/-1940). On the right, a small broken window. A red curtain protrudes slightly. It appears to be windy, as it is slightly puffed up. In the center, a closed white door with the handwritten number 314. At the far left of the picture, the base of a gray concrete electricity pole. On the ground and laterally, thin, intertwined shadows that appear to be urban power cables. And on the upper part of the facade, it's still possible to make out the word 'Frutas' in yellow capital letters. No emotional reading. It is up to her or him to get in .

15 What are you currently working on, and — if there is — what is your next project or journey?

I'm still walking without plans in particular. I'd maybe like to rent a car to discover the interior of Brazil and explore the small towns. There must be a lot to do there too. Why not put my photos together in a book about Belo Horizonte's neighborhoods, an exhibition… But it's a lot harder to set up than just going out for a walk.

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sebastienchou

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journalgirl · 1 year

Text

The Joy of Running Out

Let’s pick up like old friends…

I’m not sure these days how many people read blogs, so I’ll write for myself and let you read. 😉

My art and materials have changed since we last spoke. I’ve shifted to coloring my own drawings, and messy collage work in my art journals. The imagery and details have deeper meaning — I referenced one in my last therapy appointment to the delight of my therapist.

When I started creating art, it was a struggle to translate my emotions from words — which was my primary way of expressing myself — to images. When you pick up art later in life, after college, there’s a learning curve. Composition. Color. Line. Medium. Substrate. I feel my early days was me throwing whatever made me smile at the page and seeing what stuck. Then manipulated to try and tell a narrative.

I rarely use paint, unless it’s in the form of a marker. I collage with a glue stick. Whatever I use most is within reach of my giant chair in the living room, where I do 80% of my art. And for a girl who rejected many coloring books because the tiny details made my hands ache…it appears that doesn’t apply when I am the one doing the drawing!

What’s different is me.

While we all long for the inspiration that propels us to create every day, I often struggled doing so. I was ill and exhausted and wished I could do more, create and experiment, like my friends. I did my best, said, “Good enough,” a lot.

I’m living in a new state — my third! — in my own comfortable apartment filled to the rafters with art supplies. I encourage you to find a closet or cabinet that holds anything else (ok the kitchen is just the bulbs for my studio lights, but it’s the safest space). You won’t find one. There’s less stress and more self-care. I work a wonderful day job I love, but also continue to struggle with mental and physical health issues.

I say this because, about a year ago, something amazing happened: I started working at least 2 hours a day on art. It started with coloring the work of other artists, then drawing florals, collage, and now I live in the world of mandalas and the mix of supplies that continue to inspire me.

(I’m actually taking a break from my current one; I’m in hour 7.)

As you can figure by the tumbleweeds gathered in the corners of this blog, I didn’t share much on social media. I don’t spend nearly as much time on my phone, and when I post, I’m in the frame of mind that I’m sharing with my friends. There are rarely hashtags, the posts are inconsistant, and doesn’t see much engagement past my Facebook friends. It wasn’t very important, running to share something the moment I put pencil to paper; I fell into this pitfall a few times in my life, and it always ruined and disrupted my inspiration.

Now? Now I make stuff, and if people like it, awesome! I actually taught my first class in 10 years to a small group of friends and delighted more in the kind words from friends who shared my post. Because my students were friends, I didn’t feel pressure to have everything set up perfectly. I no longer have a DSLR to film with, and my laptop is a modified MacBook Pro from 2009. I loved teaching live, as I could get feedback from my students, as well as answer their questions, in real time.

(I’m working on a ‘sequel’ right now, as I ran out of time to share everything!)

The joy? Using much loved supplies to the point they need replacing because of how much you use them. Being able to info dump at friends all I’ve learned from wearing out even the expensive stuff.

Sometimes, you need to run out of what was so there’s room for what can come. But the only way you get there is to just run free with radical acceptance, use the pretty things, and allow something you never expected to take root and grow.

I’ll see you next week, friends.

💜 Kira

(Yes, I am changing my legal name!)

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spencersawkward · 4 years

Note

omg i’m so glad u have a tumblr!! ur literally my fav mgg fic author ❤️ i’m a hoe for that man can u do sleeping together for the first time with like an age gap or something spicy lmao

hi omg thank you 😊 that literally means the world to me! also thank you for requesting one of my fave things to write haha i love first-time-having-sex-together tropes. happy reading!

summary: reader is an artist who needs some inspiration, preferably from her new boyfriend.

content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, age gap, creampie, a little breeding kink, oral (male receiving), kind of Dom!Matthew vibes, dirty talk, praise kink with a hint of degradation as well (not super prominent).

word count: 4.4k

relationship: Fem!Reader/Matthew

masterlist

I straighten up and bend backward a bit to relieve the pressure on my spine. my hair is falling out of the knot on my head and I push a stray piece behind my ear, placing the wooden paintbrush between my teeth. aside from the warm, mellifluous tones pouring from the speakers, the apartment is silent.

I've hit a creative wall, it seems. every time I've tried to paint this week, I find myself standing above a stretched canvas with nothing but a frown and crossed arms. even little details feel wrong to add; the empty space is taunting me. it doesn't help that my thoughts have been flooded with memories and fantasies of Matthew. we've been on a couple dates now, sweet outings that leave me fluttery inside. I remember the words he says, the shape of his smile and the curve of his jaw, like they've been been in my mind forever. he's elusive, however, and hasn't initiated anything sexual with me. I think he's afraid of coming on too strong. there's a considerable age gap between us, but I don't care. I want him all the time-- whenever I'm at work, or trying to paint, all I can think of is how good it would feel to have those strong, veined hands on me.

christ.

before I can lose my courage, I text him. if anything can inspire me, it's his presence. likely, he's at work and won't be able to respond or come over, but it's worth a shot.

I'm just sliding my phone into my back pocket when the response comes in. a smile spreads over my face; he'll be over in half an hour. in the meantime, I'll sweep the background with shades that remind me of him: rich, emerald greens, honeyed tones that reminisce of his eyes. he'll pop against any backdrop.

I'm bent furiously over my work when he tells me he's arrived, and my heart thuds in my chest. even after hanging out several times, the butterflies are as alive as ever. they flood my stomach while I buzz him into the building.

"hi." he greets me when I open the door, curls messy. he must have just come from work.

"hi, Matthew." I smile up at him. his gaze travels over my face, my body, taking in my appearance for a moment.

"you look lovely." he says it genuinely, despite the fact that I'm literally wearing a paint t-shirt under a pair of rummaged overalls. I forgot to fix my hair, too.

"thanks." I blush, about to turn away when he bends down and presses a gentle kiss to my lips. it's the first time he's said hello that way, and part of me flushes with the knowledge that he's attracted to me right now.

"now," he looks around my apartment as I step back to let him in. "what can I help you with?"

"I have a small favor to ask." I spin the paintbrush between my index and third fingers, reaching out to take his wrist and pull him towards the couch.

"anything," he replies, then sees my setup. "is this your studio?"

"slash living room." I chuckle. Matthew sits on the soft cushions before staring up at me. I don't miss his pupils dilating as they travel over the shape of my body. instead of allowing myself get distracted, I gesture to the wet paint on my canvas. "I need you to model for me."

"like, be your muse?" he beams at the notion, incredibly pleased with himself. I like this about Matthew; although he can be self-deprecating and doesn't take himself too seriously, he appreciates my admiration.

"oh, hush." I giggle. he laughs, reclining on the couch now that he knows why I invited him over.

"how do you want me to pose, Picasso?"

"well, let me re-orient myself." I hold up a hand, grab the abandoned easel, and try to get everything set up. he never takes his eyes off me.

"why were you painting on the floor?" he asks, slightly amused. I jerk my head toward him, narrow my eyes.

"it's my process."

"no judgement." he holds up his hands in surrender. I place the canvas carefully on the easel so that he can't see my work, then gather up my paints, palette, and brushes. there's a moment of pure silence when I frown as I glance between his face and the chasm of space awaiting its representation.

"you look tired." I observe. he lets out a sound that resembles a laugh.

"I am."

"how long did you sleep last night?" I ask as I start painting, focusing on the shape and planes of his face. if I don't get the composition exactly correct, I'll have to throw the whole thing out.

"three hours." he says this like it's normal. my eyebrows shoot up.

"three hours? why?"

"I had to work on lines." he shrugs.

"don't move." I order. he suppresses a grin.

"my sincerest apologies."

"uh huh," I dip my brush into a pale skin shade that I've mixed to match his pigment. "you need to get more sleep."

we continue on like this for a while, making light conversation while I get down the basics of my portrait. I can't handle anything that requires more than a fraction of my attention while doing this, and he seems to appreciate my concentration.

that said, it's beyond difficult to focus when he stares at me like every movement is magical, something he wants to memorize. I feel pliable under his watch, a little bit like a doll. he could bend me every which way, ask me to do anything, and I would give in. and who could blame me?

my thoughts slip into darkened territories, and the hue of my cheeks must do the same, because he gets this mischievous smile on his face that I can't ignore.

"what are you thinking about?" he asks softly.

"hm?" I turn to him. "oh, nothing."

"really?" his brows lift in that intimidating, delightfully entertained way that sets my skin on fire.

"I..." I trail off, wondering if I should give into the chaos in my mind. the thoughts that slash through my psyche whenever I see the width of his shoulders, the fit of his shirt. "I should have asked you to pose nude."

Matthew blushes-- actually blushes-- when I say this, his head dropping momentarily as a grin takes over his features. when he lifts his gaze to mine again, there's a different look in his eyes.

"yeah?"

"mhmm." no taking it back now. "I think that would be too distracting, though."

"how so?" the corner of his mouth tugs up.

"you know why." I avert my attention, only once flitting back to him. his tongue darts out over his lips and he holds contact.

"say it." he dares me. the tone of it, slightly dominant, makes my stomach flip. quietly, I swallow the lump in my throat.

"I have trouble keeping my hands to myself."

we stare at each other, words finding and dying on tongues in the silence.

at this point, my painting has been somewhat abandoned. brushstrokes sit unaccompanied by actual structure, except for the general godly shape of his face, and I'm clenching the utensil between my fingers as if to channel the sexual tension elsewhere.

"is that right?" he notes my absolute stillness and stands up, walking toward me in a relaxed, confident gait. all I can do is look up at him when he stands before me. the top button of his shirt is undone, and I can see the smooth skin beneath, each of the other buttons awaiting my fingertips.

"yes." the word is messy. he runs his index finger over the shell of my ear, bends down, whispers so low that the phrase almost gets lost in the air.

"me too."

he plants a gentle kiss on my jaw, hand reaching tentatively to rest on my waist. I can feel the caution in his actions, the worry he has about pressuring me. I'm cognizant of every breath he takes, especially the hitch when I give into myself and kiss him.

his mouth is warm and soft. the tension twists and knots between our bodies, roiling in the empty space as we resist the energy still. but I don't want to resist. I know that I want this, and he seems to want it just as much.

"Matthew." I pull away, his teeth tugging gently on my bottom lip.

"what is it?" his eyes, dark, search mine. my pulse quickens beneath my skin.

"I want to be with you."

"you are with me." he chuckles lightly, glancing at my features. the full circles of my eyes, the bloom of pink spreading over my cheekbones.

"no," I shake my head. "I mean... I want to be with you."

"you want to have sex?" he asks, clarifying. I nod eagerly, though he frowns a bit. "are you sure?"

"do you not want to?" I try to keep the disappointment out of my face. maybe I misread the situation. the most we've done is make out on his couch and once in an Uber on the way back from our first date. but there's a sweet, burning sensation whenever I see him, something I want to dive into. I want him; I've wanted him since the moment we met.

"of course I want to," he says it like it's the most obvious thing in the world. relief loosens my chest. "I just don't want you to regret anything."

"I couldn't ever regret this." my eyes travel over his frame, over the little scar beneath his chin. he angles my face up to examine my features. there's a smirk on his face.

"then what are we waiting for?" his hands move to encircle my waist, tugging me to him like I'm something long-awaited, like he needs my weight against his. our lips meet again, my head tilting as we kiss deeply, my fingers twining in his soft hair. I'm standing on my tiptoes as I do it, and one of his hands reaches down to squeeze my ass. he grunts as my pelvis moves against the quickly-forming hard-on in his pants. I can feel it against my stomach as he ruts against me just slightly. I smirk.

"sit on the couch again." I whisper when I pull away. he's holding my face with one hand, staring into my eyes with the kind of dominance that tells me he knows exactly what to do. but I appreciate that he follows my request, pulling my hips toward him as he backs up and sinks onto the cushions. he sits, awaiting my next move. when I sink onto my knees and settle between his legs, he bites hard on his lip. I don't move at first, willing to draw out this beautiful moment when he's watching with undivided attention.

"what are you doing down there, sweetheart?" he feigns innocence when I give him my doe eyes. I run slender fingers over the erection in his pants, his quickened breath an indicator of just how needy he secretly is. I revel in it.

my free hand wraps around his upper thigh, digging my nails in slightly. he's so gorgeous, and the tension of his muscles beneath me is enough to break my resistance. I start to palm him through the fabric, torturing slowly while he runs fingers through my hair and tries not to buck up against my touch. I finally get around to undoing the button on his pants. he waits impatiently. I tug them down his legs, lingering on the waistband of his boxers. when they come down as well, another kind of knot forms in my tummy. he's perfect.

"oh my god." he throws his head back when his dick hits his stomach, the pleasure of releasing it its own sensation.

"hm?" I wonder aloud, wrapping my hand around the base and starting to slowly pump him. he raises his head to look at me.

"you're just... doing so well." he breathes. I grin at how easily I've got him; I was worried about being too shy or him being more experienced, but he's greedy for me. I love the power I have right now.

I surprise him by flattening my tongue against the underside of his cock, dragging it up over the throbbing vein and pausing at the top. I let him stare at me with my mouth hovering over him, the head resting on the tip of my tongue. he moans when I begin to kitten lick the precum that leaks out, grip tightening in my hair as it comes out of the ponytail I made earlier. the veins in his arm clench as I sink slowly onto him. my cheeks hollow. his jaw drops open, dewy skin catching the light, as I start to suck on him.

"fuck..." he trails off. I begin to bob up and down, doing tricks with my tongue and swirling around the head, savoring every single second. his desperate touch, the way he bucks his hips up involuntarily when I try to take him to the hilt, all of it causes me to moan. vibrations draw out sinful noises from him as well, those heavenly sounds that he litters with my name. my hands rest on his thighs at first, then move up to rest on the warm, taut skin of his abdomen. I crave every centimeter of his skin, his contact, especially when I can feel the rushed rise and fall of his panting. I give him full use of my throat, sliding over him and moaning with every tug of my hair. he mutters profanities, praises me, struggles to keep his eyes open just to see me peek up at him from beneath my lashes. his expression tells me he's got plans for me.

"if you don't stop, I'm gonna cum, baby." he groans, smoothly tugging me off of him. there's a slight popping sound and I settle onto my knees, staring up at him. the smile on my face is unmistakable. I love that I can do this to him. I grip his legs and pull myself up into his lap, drawing myself across him just before his erection, glancing down at it. his hands rub over the tops of my thighs, tracing over the curve of my hips and resting on my ass. I start to roll my body down, my lips finding his throat as I suck and bite. my tongue licks over his Adam's apple and he shudders, drawing me closer so that my stomach brushes his cock.

"stop teasing." he starts to undo the straps of my overalls, chuckling a bit to himself as they fall easily. I blush.

"pretty sexy." I joke. Matthew suddenly grabs my chin, holds me in place so that I look him dead in the eyes.

"you're perfect." he smiles admiringly, then toys with the hem of my t-shirt. I reach down, pull it off and toss it somewhere in the room. I'm not wearing a bra, and Matthew slides his hands up my waist, ribcage, pausing just below my tits. when I grab his fingers and place them over me, his dick twitches.

"excited?" I smirk. his fingertips seem to have a mind of their own as they begin to toy with my nipples, the pad of his thumbs teasing me. I sigh, chest pushing out towards him desperately. he holds my body like he's worried I'll crumble, but also in a way that connotes a deep longing. something spilling over.

"can I take you to the bedroom?" he asks me breathlessly, one of his hands leaving my chest to stroke his own cock. the sight makes me groan helplessly while I grip his shoulders and grind against his lap. he picks up the pace for himself. "I can't wait any longer."

I nod eagerly, gasping when he stops touching himself to pull up his pants, hoist me up into his arms, and stand, carrying me with surprising ease down the hallway of my apartment. I point him to the correct room and he laughs when we get inside.

"you're messy." he laughs, although I'm not sure if he means the scattered papers around my bedroom or the whine that issues from my throat as I reach for his clothed dick while I'm pressed to him. it's sitting against my navel and I want to see his undone expressions.

I ignore the playful comment; he lays me down gingerly on the bed, straightening up to gaze at my figure before I push the rest of the overalls down my legs and cast them off. he lets out a giggle as I pout at the work I have to put into getting naked.

"stop laughing..." I blush, smiling. but I'm giggling too. he grazes the inside of my thigh, unable to keep from touching me while I discard my panties.

"I'm sorry." he laughs in a way that shows he isn't sorry at all, but the soft kiss he plants on my lips tells me it's all endearing to him. I wrinkle my nose slightly. for the first time being naked around him, I feel surprisingly comfortable. he watches me with a quiet adoration, like I've spun sugar and gold between my fingers. unable to contain myself anymore, I grab fistfuls of his shirt and undo the rest of the buttons. every second that his skin isn't against mine is a new kind of torture. it comes off easily and then the pants come off, too, until we're just staring at each other.

"do you still wanna do this?" he speaks carefully with me. I don't know where to look-- at his perfect chest, stomach, the purplish bruises already forming across his throat, or his enraptured face. it's almost overwhelming, and the waves of desire crash over me, hindering my words.

"yes," I nod. "yes, yes, yes." the word keeps falling from my lips even as he crawls on top of me, burying his nose into my collarbone and kissing feverishly. one hand supports his arm beside my head while the other reaches down to part my legs. I sigh at the cool air that's interrupted by his dick rubbing over my folds. he starts to grind down, drawing out every second of foreplay while I try to catch my breath. my eyes tilt to the ceiling, fluttering shut. I bask in every sensation. his warmth, his weight, all of it presses down.

"do we need a condom?" he asks softly, his cock throbbing against my center.

"birth control." I shake my head. he nods against my skin, allows me to tangle my fingers in his curls. "I'm clean."

"me too." I reply. he grabs my hip and yanks it towards him, pulling his chest away to straighten while he lines himself up at my entrance. he's concentrating on the place where our bodies meet, eyes full of lust when they peek up at mine.

"tell me if you need me to stop." he says softly.

"okay." I can't think of anything else. every cell of my existence is consumed with thoughts of impatience, and when he slides into me, my thighs tense and my mouth drops open.

"Matthew... oh my god." my voice is more like a mewl, in shock as my walls squeeze around him like they're trying to reject the sudden pressure between my legs. his jaw clenches, sinking into me until he reaches about halfway.

he lets out a surprising groan, leans down to kiss my shoulder as he finds a sweet spot. our chests are pressed together and, judging by the way he wraps an arm around my waist and lifts my torso to his, he likes the feeling.

we stay there a moment, him trying not to hurt me. but then I lift my pelvis up, trying to take more, and he inhales sharply.

"do something," I beg him quietly. "please."

I feel his lips curl into a smile and he pulls his face up to see my expressions. his hips push forward, my body sliding up the bed with the force. he watches my eyes roll back, my ribcage expand, my face overcome by pleasure. his gaze is unrelenting with lips slightly parted as he begins to thrust in and out of me.

I'm already a panting, moaning mess beneath him. he touches his nose to mine, swallowing each other's breaths while he moves.

"is this how you want it, baby?" he smirks, getting lost in his own lust. I nod and he gently turns my face to his. "tell me what you want."

"more." I sigh, hips again raising to meet the thrusts that are growing more forceful each time. my nails drag up his back, the nape of his neck, tangling in his hair and tugging at the ends. he sinks his teeth into my neck lightly and moans. I wrap my legs around his torso.

"such a pretty girl..." he growls in my ear. his grip on the sheets tightens when I clench myself around him, drawing him impossibly closer to my core. I can't help the helpless moans spilling out of me. I'm insatiable right now, scratching at his shoulders until I'm sure I'll leave red marks. he groans lasciviously at the clawing, ramming into me with an unrelenting voracity.

"oh my god," I yelp, back arching as he hits my g-spot. "right there, Matthew." my pleas fall on receptive ears: he holds me tighter to his chest and pounds into me.

"you like getting fucked by older men?" he whispers dirty things in my ear and I nod quickly, hardly able to speak through the ungodly sounds escaping my mouth. I cling to him and he lets me, treating every limb like it belongs to him.

"yes-- fuck, yes." I moan, almost sliding out of his grip from how hard he goes.

"you can take it," he breathes out, fingertips digging into my ribs while he holds me up. he's leaving marks that won't go away for a while, remnants of the full power of his desire. I want more, writhing and using my limited mobility to grind against him. he chuckles darkly over my skin. "look at you."

"Matthew, I'm gonna--" I gasp when he slams into me particularly hard. "I'm gonna cum."

"good." he shudders slightly, that attitude showing again. he reaches his hand up a moment to run through my hair. "cum on me, princess."

my lips part and I try to gulp down air, but it's impossible with the way he's holding my attention. the thing about Matthew is that he's so sweet and gentle that whenever he looks at me like I'm a plaything, it shocks my insides. they turn to jelly, eager to please and quick to satisfy. he switches so easily with me, and he doesn't even need to request my submission. I give it more than willingly.

"fuck me..." I pant out, feeling my pussy start to clench over and over around him. my orgasm fuzzies the edges of my vision, creeping up my spine until it's arched. "oh fuck-- Matthew!" I practically scream while my frame gives out. I'm shuddering, crying out at the absolute euphoria wracking my body.

"scream my name, baby." he groans, his own orgasms approaching quickly. the fluttering of my cunt around him is causing the vein in his forehead to throb. he rocks into me, the headboard knocking into the wall while he nears the edge. "such a good girl for me."

I nod and meet his thrusts with my hips while I ride out my orgasm, inadvertently finding myself wound up again. the pleasure of his fingers when they reach between our bodies to rub my clit causes me to buck into him, whining mercifully while he gets me off again.

"oh--" he sucks in a breath when I squeeze, keeping him here with me. "you feel so good."

he starts to lose control, hips juddering to get as deep as he can get.

"can I fill you up, baby?"

"yes." I reply immediately. he smiles a little, lifting me up more so that he can hold me under my ass while he pounds into me so deeply, I can feel his dick brushing my cervix.

"oh my god," he moans, the sound desperate as I feel him twitch and spill inside of me. he keeps pushing as though to keep his cum within me, panting over my skin. "such a tight little cunt."

the circles on my clit, combined with the sinful things he continues to say, cause me to whimper and climax all over again. I moan his name, absorbed in the warmth of his seed in my stomach.

"you want more?" he slows his thrusts but pleasures me through my orgasm while I nod helplessly.

"I'll cum in you again tonight." he promises, taking my shaking, weak form as a sign to withdraw. both of us wince at the sensitivity until he lays me back down on the bed so gently, it makes me question if what we just did was real.

neither of us speaks for a moment, trying to regain our composure as he rolls down onto the mattress beside me. I stare up at the ceiling, feeling him drip between my thighs.

"that was..." he turns his head to gauge my reaction. I don't even bother to hide the satisfied grin on my face.

"amazing."

"yeah?" he rolls over onto his side and places one large hand on my stomach. his touch makes me bloom.

"mhmm." I hum. his face is covered in a thin sheen of sweat, a beautiful sight that makes me want to kiss him all over again. I didn't know it was possible to feel this way for someone so quickly.

"can I get you anything?" he smiles. I don't say anything at first, only reach out to cup his face in my hands and pull him to me for a chaste peck.

"no, thank you." I rub my nose with his. "I'm gonna take a shower and make something to eat if you want to join me."

"definitely." he examines my features once more as if to assess damage. but there's only pure joy painted across my face. "are you sure I didn't go too hard on you?"

"you can go harder tonight." I tease.

"what about your painting?" he suddenly recalls the project lying in the living room.

"rain check." I shrug. he laughs, wraps an arm around my waist.

"alright, then."

#matthew gray gubler #mgg #criminal minds #smut #mgg smut #one shot #first time #artist #spencer reid

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fenoderee · 3 years

Text

Shinya [Drums] Interview

Our fourth solo interview is with Shinya, who is the foundation of the band. Shinya has been focusing on simple phrasing and groove in recent years, so how did he approach his latest album "Oboro"?

Basically I don't think about the details, I just do what comes to my mind and I don't worry about it.

-It seems that the songwriting process started very early on, but did you have the new album in mind from the beginning?

Shinya: That's right. I've been working on the songs for the new album. So we decided to release a single, and we talked about which of our existing songs we should release as a single, and "Oboro" was chosen.

-In your case, I personally feel that you've always written songs with a lot of energy or beauty. When you were thinking about the album, what kind of ideas and images did you have in your mind in the early stages of composition?

Shinya:I didn't really think about it before I wrote the song, I just started writing it, and as a result, I couldn't write anything but intense stuff.

-When you say "intense," do you mean songs with a fast BPM?

Shinya: That's right.

-There are several ways to compose a song, how did you do it this time?

Shinya: Recently, I've been using a plug-in guitar instrument that I really like. It has a lot of heavy sounds in it, so I just play it and think about what I want to do.

-What kind of composition system do you currently have at home? It is known to your fans that you are an Apple fanatic, and you seem to be changing to the latest version every year. Do you use the same kind of system for your compositions?

Shinya: It's the other way around, I'm very minimalistic now. I only use one laptop for composing.

-Do you want to install all your DTM software on the computer?

Shinya: That's right. I don't play guitar anymore when I write songs, so I've removed the audio interface. It's a very compact period.

-At the time of this writing, you are touring the country with the "Meguro Rokumeikan Gig", but if you take that computer with you, you can compose music in your dressing room?

Shinya: If I wanted to, I could, but I don't think I will (laughs).

-Did it change the way you came up with the ideas and the process of shaping the songs?

Shinya: That's right. When I used to compose, I used to play my guitar at home and write riffs by myself. But now I don't have a guitar and I'm working on it, so I think the guitar phrases I make have changed.

-So the intense songs you wrote were not chosen for the single, but do you have any plans to make it into the album?

Shinya: The song wasn't selected when it was written, so it was probably rejected (laughs).

-That's not something to say while laughing (laughs). By the way, Shinya, you're the type of person who actively goes to see other people's live performances. I think the main reason is because it's your favorite band or artist, but I also think that seeing a live performance can stimulate you in terms of calligraphy and creative therapy. Now that I have become a member of Corona, I can no longer go to live concerts, and DIR EN GREY has almost completely stopped performing. What do you do for musical input in such a situation?

Shinya: Hmmm... I don't think so at the moment (laughs). Especially when it comes to music.

-Do you ever go through various albums and videos by yourself?

Shinya: No, I don't. I just use what I have inside me right now.

-Shinya's musical tastes are well known to his fans, but is there anything new that has resonated with you during this composing process?

Shinya: Hmmm... I haven't explored anything new in the other solutions.

-Did you go back to your roots and what you like?

Shinya: No, I didn't think about that too much, I just made the songs naturally.

-How did you spend your time at stay home, as a musician and as an individual?

Shinya: I was doing nothing but editing videos (laughs). That's why I was spending most of my time on my YouTube channel.

-I've been watching it for a while now, and I'm also a subscriber to the channel, so please answer me politely (laughs).

Shinya: Oh, thank you very much (laughs).

-Of course it's fun to do, but is there anything exciting about it?

Shinya: When I was working on it, I thought that it was very similar to songwriting. You can keep working on it, and it never ends.

-If you want to be particular, you can go all the way.

That's right, even for a single video, there are endless things you can do.

-The timing of inserting a subtitle, the choice of font, etc.

Shinya: Yes, yes (laughs). Once you start paying attention to the details, there's really no end to it. It's similar to songwriting..

-Is Shinya the type of person who spends a lot of time focusing on various aspects of a song, even when he's writing it individually?

Shinya : With DIR EN GREY, I always bring the original songs to the studio before I've finished them. I know that as the members' ideas come in, it will definitely change from the shape I've created. That's why I don't go into too much detail (laughs), I only make it to a certain point because it's going to change anyway. I try to make it so that the members can understand the side of the song.

-You said that when you select songs in the band, you don't know who wrote which song. Do you ever get feedback from the band members afterwards?

Shinya: I was asked afterwards about the songs I wrote this time. "That's Shinya's song." Then, he said, "Oh, I liked it."

-So you've had that conversation? If you listen to the demo, do you know who made it?

Shinya: Yes, you're right. Yes, I don't have a definitive answer, but I can vaguely tell.

-Although it wasn't adopted, it's nice to be told that it's your favourite song.

Shinya: Well...yes, but the song selection is a majority decision.

-There are always multiple layers to a song, but each time you're inspired to write a new song from a different angle?

Shinya: No, I don't have any particular plans at the moment, since I'm in the middle of an explosive screening (laughs ). Once the songwriting starts again, I'm sure I'll be motivated like you said. I still have my computer with me, but I'm not writing songs, I'm collecting videos (laughs).

-That's a good point (laughs). You've been working on the album for a long time, what do you hope to achieve with it?

Shinya: Up until now, I've been thinking of songs that can evolve in a live setting, but this time, even if we make an album, we don't know if we will be able to perform live or tour like we have in the past. So I've been thinking about it with that situation in mind.

-In other words, rather than evolving through live performances, do you have a sense of construction that evolves completely during the production process?

Shinya: Well, to put it simply, it's a nuance.

-Do you want to take a different approach to the drums?

Shinya: No, when it comes to drum phrases, I don't think about the details, I just do what comes to my mind. I don't worry about it too much.

-What was your impression of this single, "Oboro", when you heard the original song?

Shinya: Well... I was working on several songs at the same time, and I don't remember what the original "Oboro" song sounded like.

-Were the other songs that you were arranging and pre-producing at the same time too strong for you?

Shinya: It was all very strong. The drum approach for "Oboro" was just what I thought of when I heard the original song, without any worries.

We're going to do a live performance for an audience on the 6th of May, but we don't know what's going to happen after that, so we're going to do it as if it might be our last one.

-You said that you often set up an electric drum machine at home and make drum arrangements while playing, is this the same style you used for "Oboro" and the new songs you were working on?

Shinya: When I'm thinking of drum phrases, I don't use an electric drum but just use the mouse. In the past, I used to focus on the basic groove of the song, and I used to add drum phrases while actually playing the drums. But the period of thinking while playing is over now…

-I didn't know you had such a time frame in mind (laughs). Thinking with the mouse is a way of avoiding the first days of DTM, isn't it?

Shinya: Yes, it's the way we did it in the beginning. I think the period of time I was thinking about it while I was in the city changed my way of thinking about drum place. It's hard to describe it in words (laughs).

-I'll take care of that. I'm a subscriber to the Shinya Channel, so be nice to me (lol).

Shinya: Well, I guess I should say I've got it all figured out. I've learned about the advantages of using an electric drum and the differences between using a mouse and thinking with an electric drum, and now I'm able to create phrases and grooves with just a mouse while playing the electric drum, so I think it's not a problem. I can now type in rhythms and phrases with the same time signature as if I were actually playing.

-Do you find it easier to come up with something unexpected by not thinking of phrases as you play?

Shinya: Yes, one of the advantages of playing the piano is that you can create phrases that you can't edit. You can create phrases that you can't edit with your own hands. That's why I started thinking about drum arrangements by typing with the mouse in the early days. In this song "Oboro", I used the mouse a lot in the A melody and other phrases. The demo phrases that I came up with using only the mouse were much stronger and weaker, but when I actually played them on live drums, I couldn't get that level of intensity.

-Do you mean simply the volume?

Shinya: That's right. The core of each sound has to come out properly in live drums, so even if you add a strong instrument, if it's too weak, the core won't come out. The image was different from the one I had in the mouse, but it turned out good, so I didn't have any trouble. I also thought a lot about the guitar in the drum braise of "Oboro". It's the solo part.

-It's a drum approach that is making a difference.

Shinya: Yes. I tried to make a good movement when I hit it. The form of the striking and the movement of the arms are flowing.

-You have a large number of cymbals anyway, and they are set up around the effects cymbals. Effect cymbals have a shorter blue sustain than normal cymbals. That's why when you use a lot of cymbals, do you consider the tendency of the sound of each cymbal and the length of the sustain while constructing the phrase itself?

Shinya: That's what I'm trying to do, to make it so that it's smooth and the previous movements flow. But when we were recording, we didn't talk about it that much. At the live show, I think "I used this cymbal on the recording, but I'll use that cymbal at the live show", so at the live show, I try to pursue the movement more.

-You‘re a drummer who can go beyond. You mentioned that you bring the same cymbals and settings to your recordings as you do live?

Shinya: There are as many cymbals as there are live, but the tycoons are more like two thimbles, two toms and one floor. It's a set of two toms and one floor.

-I think it's important to be careful when making drum sounds.

Shinya: Yes, it is. The drums are the most important part of the sound. I leave it to the tuner. I asked the tuner to listen to a demo of a drum phrase that I typed in with my mouse, and then I asked him to create a drum sound that would fit the phrase. I didn't start working with the drum tuner on recordings until 2019 (The World of Mercy), and he also joined me on several occasions during the tour. The sound on that tour was so good that we started asking them to play on 'The World of Mercy'. It's easier to make a good sound in a live setting, but if the tuner can make a sound that I'm happy with, then I can trust him for the recording. For the recording of "Oboro", they tuned it to the sound I had imagined from the beginning.

-I get the impression that you always do your recordings without getting bogged down, but this time?

Shinya: Just like that. We also recorded the coupling song "T.D.F.F." at that time, but we didn't get stuck. But I recorded it part by part, so it took a bit longer. If I'm happy with the intro, I'll go on to the A melody, and so on, starting from the beginning of the song. It takes a lot of concentration to record each part. Also, sometimes the song isn't written until the day before, so I haven't memorised the phrases yet (laughs). The structure of "Oboro" wasn't even ready until the day before we recorded it. So when I played it, I put the recording side by side and concentrated on each part.

-What did you think of the coupling track "T.D.F.F."?

Shinya: I didn't change much in terms of drum phrases, but I tried to give it a bit more energy. As a result, there are a little less detailed snare phrases than on the original version.

-When you do a self-remake, do you tend to go in with a different stance than the original?

Shinya: It depends on how it's arranged. If the whole arrangement is completely different, I'll consider it a controversial piece and work on it. But basically, I try not to change the original phrases. When SUGIZO joined X JAPAN, he said, "Classical phrases are all different depending on the performer, even if the phrases are not changed“ . That's why SUGIZO said he was playing the same phrases as HIDE. That's why I want to show that although the phrases are the same, they are actually different.

-It's all luck. Even though the phrases are the same, each note is different, and this progression is the growth.

Shinya: Yes. It's a bit embarrassing to call it growth, but I think it's different even though it's the same phrase. But there are things that only the ward of that time could do, but there are also things that only the ward of today can do.

-What mode are you in as a drummer in 2021?

Shinya: I don't really think about it, I just want to play a good drum.

-When I started thinking about the phrases in Mouse, it was also the time when the Band started performing and touring overseas, and the Band's drummers and musicians that I played with at festivals and other events were always saying, "The drums in DIR EN GREY are so circular and amazing. I wondered if Shinya had some kind of special meaning behind the way he phrased the songs“ .

Shinya: Even if I say I've gone back, the way I put it on is completely different from back then. I was thinking of doing something complicated back then, but now I'm thinking of making it as simple as possible. I'm saying that now, but I think it will change depending on what kind of new songs I'm going to play. I'm going to release "Oboro" as a single, but I don't think you can see the spirit of the album from this song alone, in fact I think the album will have a completely different feel. In addition to "Oboro", the other songs on the album will have more impact in the direction of things. I may have done something uncomplicated before the drums... (laughs).

-By the way, today was the first time you met your fans in Osaka, are you getting more excited about the show?

Shinya: Yes, I am. We're going to play to an audience on May 6th, but after that we don't know what will happen. So I'm going to do it with the mindset that it might be my last live. I'm looking forward to seeing how it will be expressed in the actual live performance.

Text/ YUKINOBU HASEGAWA, HIROKI KATAGIRI [GiGS/Equipment]

Photo/ REISHI EGUMA [C-LOVe CREATORS]

Translations by me.

#Dir en grey #Dir en grey Shinya #Dir en grey translation #fan translation #interview translation #Shinya #GiGS #Oboro #Dir en grey Oboro #magazine

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ouyangzizhensdad · 4 years

Text

The Mo Village arc and establishing the MC

MDZS is a sprawling book with many characters, but it seems that it was clearly important to MXTX to establish her MC’s characterisation very strongly from the start. Although the novel in its entirety leans toward providing a strong characterisation for WWX, I thought it’d be fun to look back at how it is conveyed to the readers in the first few chapters before the inciting incident at Dafan Mountain

(N.B. I’m using a composite translation made of different translations so the wording/format might be slightly different than the version you are using)

Framing

The prologue starts with a conversation between unnamed characters in an inn, discussing the news of WWX’s death. While it was a clever way to already introduce an important theme of the novel (the effects of public opinion and how easy it is to make someone into a irredeemable villain) and get the exposition out of the way, it also frames WWX as a character: as readers, we are introduced first to perceptions of him, a characterisation-from-hearsay we’ll be able to compare to his characterisation in the novel. WWX is a “scourge” whose death is celebrated, who “defected” and bit the hand that fed him, a “deranged” killer who took thousands of lives. But before he went on the crooked path, he was a promising youth--although others seem to think he was corrupted from the start.

“But it can’t all be blamed on the path he cultivated. Ultimately, it was still because this Wei Wuxian’s moral character was too flawed, angering the Heavens and man alike! By the heavenly law, everyone answers for their deeds in the end, good and evil……”

The rumours also suggest that if WWX comes back to the world of the living he will enact his revenge upon them all, and his unimaginable powers would allow him to rain fury upon both Heaven and Earth. We get told: this guys is an incredibly powerful villain, reviled and feared by many.

But the Yiling Laozu had enough power to overturn the Heavens and smother the Earth, move mountains and drain seas—at least, that was the way the rumors went. If he wanted to resist the summoning of his soul, it wouldn’t exactly be outside of his abilities. If in coming days his spirit were restored, if he forcibly possessed a body and were thus reborn, then not only the cultivation world, but all of humanity would inevitably meet with an even greater frenzy of vengeance and curses, sinking into a chaotic age of foul winds and bloody rains.

Establishing WWX and how he reacts when he’s thrown into an unpleasant situation

When WWX is brought back by MXY, we already have something to contrast him against thanks to the hearsay and rumours, and from the get-go we get a sense that WWX is not this fearsome figure that people made him out to be.

I’ll never get over the fact that our first introduction to WWX’s is the equivalent of the “the audacity of this bitch”.

Hazily, he thought: that’s quite a lot of courage you must have to kick this Laozu.

Our MC and POV character is thrown into a situation, and from his reactions we can rapidly tell that he is someone who is observant, resourceful, good at deductive reasoning and thereby apt at solving mysteries. This is something that is reinforced at many, many points in the first few chapters and helps us buy in into what happens later in the novel when they uncover many other mysteries. WWX is a guy who figures shit out.

When WWX figures out he was summoned as a “an unforgivably evil malicious spirit“, we get his take on his public perception.

Wei Wuxian reeled at the implications. How had he been classified as “an irredeemly evil, malicious spirit”?

Yes, his reputation was rather poor and his final moments, horrifying tragic—but he had neither haunted nor had he seeked revenge on the living since becoming a spirit. He would dare to swear upon the Heavens and the Earth that you would never find a more peaceful and well-behaved lonely soul of a wild ghost!

At the same time, readers get a sense that even when he’s dealt a bad hand, WWX does not wait in despair for his luck to turn. Even though WWX describes his situation as “hopeless” and keeps “repeating over and over How could this be! in his heart “, he immediately goes into problem-solving mode, trying to figure out the situation and the wishes MXY forgot to share. This also happens later.

There was not a single thing to help him find some joy in being reborn! He might as well sit and meditate for a time, and adjust to the new body.

That same passage gives us a sense that WWX is not rushing into situations without taking the time to take it in, make up his mind and prepare as much as he can: the fact that we see him do meditation twice during that day (before he goes to the East Hall and after he checks on the Lan juniors) also contributes to that idea.

The chapters convey as well that WWX is sympathetic to MXY’s situation and does not resent him even though he forced WWX to enact revenge in his stead. As readers, we thus receive the following message: WWX is not prone to being resentful, to hold grudges.

He had originally wanted to wash his face and pay a few respects to the owner of this body, but there was no water in the shack—neither for drinking nor for washing.

WWX is also, for a lack of a better word, sassy. It’s clear that he has a flair for the dramatics and lots of attitude. Look at that dramatic entrance.... he just.... yeets the bowl he was holding....

He pondered for a moment. Then, rising to his feet, he kicked the door open.

The two servants, in the midst of making eyes at each other, screamed in horror as the double doors of the shack suddenly burst open. Wei Wuxian threw aside his bowl and chopsticks and walked outside without anyone’s leave [...]

We are also introduced to the fact that WWX does not seem to take himself seriously and loves to shock people.

When it came to wild displays of misbehavior, Wei Wuxian was a master. In the past when he ran wild, he still had to mind appearances lest others accuse him of having not been raised right. But now that he was a lunatic anyways, what face did he need! He could go straight to making a scene, acting however it pleased him.

While WWX is clearly not the one-dimensional evil monster depicted in rumours, we do see that he can be cunning: he lies easily if he feels it motivated, he is very good at talking people into a corner, apt at making them do incriminating things by leading them on, which he does by humiliating the Mo family for their mistreatment of MXY in front of a crowd. But in a way, that is also a quality of his: he is not just silver-tongued; he’s good at assessing a situation and people’s characters, able to figure out what will set them off.

We further get proof that he is not a blood-thirsty monster who disregards others when he tries to figure out if he can satisfy MXY’s spirit without having to wipe out the Mo family (although it is clearly the obvious solution) and when he is shown to care for the well-being of others. This is illustrated by the way he double-checks (through ruse) that the zhaoyin flags are properly set up and will be used safely by the Lan juniors.

During the conversation, Wei Wuxian had already finished making a rapid examination of the Yin Summoning Flag in his hand. It had been painted in the correct manner, and there were no missing sigils either. There was not a single error or omission, so they should worked as intended. That being said, the person who had painted the flag lacked experience, and the painted sigils could only attract the evil spirits and walking corpses within at most five li. That should however prove to be enough. (chapter 2)

[...]

Wei Wuxian’s first thought was that something had gone wrong with the flag arraw the youth had set up. His inventions needed to be used with extreme caution, or else risk disaster. This was also why he had gone to check earlier if there were anything wrong with the array. (Chapter 3)

As our POV character, WWX comes across as endearing through little details: it’s in the way he calls LSZ a “good little seedling (好苗子)” and calls the Lan juniors a group of “小朋友“ in his inner monologue, or when he defends the Lan juniors from Mo-furen’s accusations. Or the way he likes Xiao Pingguo because it looks at him with contempt:

A donkey was tied to the handle, chewing on it. When it saw Wei Wuxian run over rashly, it seemed like it was surprised, and eyed him sideways as if it were a real person. Wei Wuxian made eye contact with him for one second and was immediately touched by the minuscule amount of contempt in its eyes.

Establishing how WWX acts in high-pressure situations

Things escalate quite quickly into accusations of murder and death and resentful corpses. This first sequence is thus our introduction to how WWX acts under pressure and in high-risk situations (which will continue to happen to our MC until the end of the novel).

WWX is shown to be cool under pressure and quick to think on his feet, constantly re-assessing the situation and the risks. He is also seen as expecting people to arrive to conclusions without him needing to explain them out loud, like when he takes out the zhaoyin flag that MZY stole from his corpse, letting the Lan juniors understand on their own what happened. When he needs to explain, he will not do it in a straight-forward manner, giving small hints first (this preludes many of WWX and LWJ interaction when they understand each other’s thought process with only one sentence being said, and preludes how WWX will continue to act with the Juniors later on, making them think through the situations instead of feeding them the answers).

We also get the proof that WWX does not privilege self-preservation over the fate of others.

If he wanted to avoid having the situation get out of hand, Wei Wuxian should retreat. If they people who came did not know him, then all would be well—but if they happened to be someone who had dealt with him or fought against him in the past, it would be hard to guess what would happen next.

But the curse meant he could not leave Mo Village yet. As well, the spirit that had been summoned had taken two lives in quick succession, meaning it was extremely vicious. If Wei Wuxian left now, once the reinforcement arrived, the streets of Mo Village might already be packed with corpses missing their left arm, of which some would be blood relations of the GusuLanShi.

After a short deliberation, Wei Wuxian thought, fight a quick battle to force a swift resolution (速战速决). (Chapter 3)

[...]

Wei Wuxian was watching the battle attentively. His tongue was slightly curled, suppressing a sharp whistle inside of his lips, preparing it to be let out. The whistle would be able to evoke even more hostility in the cruel corpses, which might turn the tables. Then, however, it would be difficult to ensure that nobody knew that it was his doing.

In the blink of an eye, the hand moved like lightning, ruthlessly and precisely breaking Madame Mo’s neck. Watching as the Mo family grew closer to defeat, Wei Wuxian prepared to blow the whistle that he suppressed under his tongue. At the same time, the echoes of two strums on a stringed instrument came from far away. (chapter 4)

As well, we are told something about WWX when he only leaves once LWJ arrives: certainly because he’s afraid that LWJ might recognize him but mostly because (as it will become clear later on) he trusts that LWJ will be able to handle the situation in his stead. In order words, although WWX is willing to risk himself to help others, he is not careless with his life and safety (for instance he makes sure to destroy the proof of the Offering ritual before fleeing to make sure no one can figure out the fact that he is back from the dead).

WWX will not hesitate to fool people or pretend in order to help his goals. In this case, he is trying to help and fight without appearing like a powerful cultivator who can do modao, balancing self-preservation with the incentive to protect the people present. This is why he pushes LJY in front of LSZ at one point in the battle, instead of blocking it himself, while pretending to just be a lunatic doing lunatic things.

Inside of the Lan clan’s uniform jacket, there were compact stitchings of incantations using thin threads of the same color, included for protection. However, against strong ones like this, it could only be used once before it became invalid. During the emergency, he could only kick Lan Jingyi and use his body to protect Lan Sizhui’s neck.

This sequence also allows the reader to know more about modao and WWX’s skills, and how he can control corpses, as well as how WWX perceives his own abilities.

TLDR:

The Mo Village arc, in conjunction with the prologue, competently sets up a lot of the moving pieces for the novel. It also leans heavily toward establishing a strong sense of characterisation for our MC and POV character, which is neat!

NB: I think it’s also very telling that the next chapter after the Mo Mansion arc begins with us learning that WWX has been, in the past few days since his retreat, lorded over by a capricious donkey. WWX is clearly not someone who takes himself very seriously (often mocking himself):

The donkey ran over there and nothing could make it leave. Wei Wuxian hopped down and slapped its honoured buttocks. “You’re definitely destined for wealth, even harder to please than I am.” The donkey spat at him.

#mdzs meta #i kind of hate to call this meta because it's not uh very deep lmao #wwx #wei wuxian

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chimeraan · 3 years

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The Cowboy Bebop live action Twitter account posted this side by side comparison of the original anime and the new remake and man it so bad in comparison. The lighting is amateurish and the lack fast cuts with no dynamic camera movement means the action looks like you're watching a school production about Cowboy Bebop. Generally it's a video that showcases how better animation can be at delivering a sequence than live action. But there's a few people defending it in the replies like:

And like you can point to how animation allows for faster cuts so in this case you can efficiently and effectively feel as though you're in the same space of the stand off and then quickly cut back to a wider shot to show the outcome. You can also point out that the use of colour in animation is used to great effect to show a deep contrast between the two characters, the darkness of the church, the bright window illuminated by moonlight and muddy backdrop.

But honestly? There's nothing at all stopping the live action version from being just as good as the original. This sucks both as a live action trying to outclass or remake animation and also live action choreographing a fight scene and directing in general.

Besides the fast cuts (which are way easier to communicate in animation since you can use fewer frames and the lack of detail in comparison to live action means the action is conveyed really clearly to the audience) the shot composition is just bad in the live action version. This shot in the original shows two men struggling to fight each other but also tells a story of one man (Spike) struggling to escape to the light and salvation but is kept from that because of this struggle. Which sums up Spikes story arc really well, he's a man who is trapped between life and death because his past is keeping him from moving forward.

What does the live action show us?? Well if I was going to read it charitably I'd say it shows us that both men are struggling to stay in the light. But honestly even reading that is difficult because everything is fucking soaked in blue and the two just stuck at a sluggish standoff. What's funny though is in the original the fast cut to the blade point on Spike's chest helps the audience understand that theoretically Spike could just pull the trigger but the only thing stopping the blade from killing him right now is the man holding back. If Spike shoots the dude the weight of the guy would most likely lead to the blade killing Spike. Which again is more theoretical, you could argue that no that wouldn't happen or may not but the fast cuts help the audience to go "Wow this is a stand off that neither of them can walk away from without both dying". But in the live action it's bro, just shoot like nothing bad is gonna happen bro..it's fine just pull the trigger lol bro don't worry about it

Last thing I gotta mention is that I know Cowboy Bebop can be done well in live action because Cowboy Bebop pays so many homages to Western and Asian live actiob cinema that it's DNA is fundamentally live action. It takes cues from Bruce Lee, Desperados, Space Oddyssey, Spaghetti Westerns, Samurai films, Dirty Harry, Star Trek and Blaxploitation films. Even the soundtrack pays homage to film Noir frequently and that's only the most obvious examples.

If we're being real - Cowboy Bebop has more in common with the live action films that preceeded it than the animation that proceeded it. Bebop is also wonderfully directed and animated by people who knew how leverage the strengths of animation to create a masterpiece that could stand on equal footing with the live action movies they already loved. So yeah it's bad on every conceivable level lol

#anime #cowboy bebop #live action #cinema #film #i didnt even mention how really good anime adaptations are on youtube and actually do really creative and clever things in the medium #cutie honey #is another great example #it was made animation and then remade by the same director in live action and both versions are really good #twitter #manga #netflix #adaptation

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virtualgallerybyie · 2 years

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Forefront Post 4 - The house (2022)

The house is a 2022 adult stop-motion animated film written by Enda Walsh. It was produced for Netflix by Nexus studios in London. The film was originally announced as a TV series, but later it became an anthology film. It is a black comedy anthology telling three different stories spanning different worlds and characters, all set inside the same house. This stop-motion animation trilogy from Netflix provides a strong message which is a cutting criticism of consumerism. The House uses metaphors and straightforward examples to subtly highlight both the causes of people's indulgence in consumerism and its primary drawbacks.

What I find innovative about the house is that this is an adult stop-motion black comedy anthology which is not very common. All of these elements have existed in the past in the animation industry, we have seen live-action black comedy anthology films and stop-motion black comedy horror films before but never an adult stop-motion black comedy anthology. This is the only film where I have found all of these elements in a single series and I think it works very well.

The film is set over three time periods with characters that are completely unrelated to one another, the connection between the three films is the location of the house itself. But there are so many other variations between the different stories that it's hard to tell that they take place within the same world. For a start, the first story features human characters, but the second and third chapters both feature anthropomorphic animal characters. I find it quite influential that despite having so many different elements in the stories there is a consistency in the tone. We usually see animated anthologies with styles that radically vary between its segments but this film isn't one of those anthology films. The tone of the film remains the same in all three segments, even if there are elements in each that reflect the director's style.

Each segment's art direction is so impressive that you can actually sense the influence the house has over the people who live there. The environment design in each part is incredibly detailed, all three parts are set in the same house but each of them has a different kind of gloomy feel in its environment design. The frightening aura and the threatening landscape might as well be seen as influences from renowned platformers like Little Nightmares and masterpieces like Kubrick's The Shining with the atmosphere suddenly swooping in like dead air then creeping back again manically. The characters' strange actions and behaviour, along with the second and third act's intriguing and mysterious anthropomorphic figures and the fact that the eponymous cruel house is just a regular house and not a literary invention, lead to an enticing and uplifting conclusion.

If we talk about the animation of the film, its extremely detailed and well executed. Stop motion animations have been widely used in horror dramas in the past, but this film is not a mainstream horror since every spooky element and eerie detail has a significant, hidden meaning. The cinematography of the film is amazing; practically every frame's composition was well considered and adds to the mood the filmmakers wanted to create.The viewer is drawn into a serious yet compelling drama by the creepy music, the loud silences in between scenes, and the dark lighting with a combination of comedy and adorable but mysterious characters. The strong voice work of the cast brings to life a deeper well of emotions that you’d expect from creepy dolls and anthropomorphic animals.

How I can relate it to my own practice

This innovation has made me think about my own work. In the last academic year I have finished six short films and I have been thinking about how they may be connected to each other. I see there are some common threads connecting them together like most of my work was based on the idea of being away from home or moving to another country. Looking back at this anthology, perhaps in the future I can see how my work can be categorised together and how I can create something like this where the theme remains the same but the narrative changes having different environments and characters.

Hutton, R. (2022). Netflix’s The House’s Real Meaning Explained. [online] Available at: https://screenrant.com/house-netflix-consumerism-criticism-real-meaning-explained/.

‌the Guardian. (2022). The House review – beautiful animation that speaks to your darkest terrors. [online] Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2022/jan/13/the-house-review-beautiful-animation-that-speaks-to-your-darkest-terrors.‌

Sinha, A. (2022). ‘The House’ Chapter One: Ending, Explained: The Creative Satisfaction Of An Artist! | DMT. [online] Available at: https://dmtalkies.com/the-house-chapter-one-ending-explained-2022-animated-film/.

Greene, S. and Greene, S. (2022). ‘The House’ Is an Unsettling Stop-Motion Anthology with Gorgeous Fairy Tale Precision. [online] IndieWire. Available at: https://www.indiewire.com/2022/01/the-house-netflix-animated-anthology-1234691864/

‌Perkins, C. (2022). The House (2022). [online] AFA: Animation For Adults : Animation News, Reviews, Articles, Podcasts and More. Available at: https://www.animationforadults.com/2022/01/the-house-2022.html

#Major study #Forefront post

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writings-of-a-hufflepuff · 3 years

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A Piece of My Soul

Fandom: The Mentalist or rather the Marcus Pike fandom

Collection/Series: N/A

Pairing: Marcus Pike x GN! Artist Reader

Writer: @writings-of-a-hufflepuff aka @hufflepuffing-all-day-long

Rating: G

Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Lots of fluff, but there’s that undercurrent of angst as the reader has been hurt before and made to feel less than important so if that’s too much right now that’s okay!

Summary: Marcus has always known that you protect your art, that it is a reflection of your soul and something you guard after being hurt one too many times. He never expects you to share your sketchbooks with him, assumes he will never have the honour and he’s okay with that because he’s happy to just have you. Until, one day, you show him just how much you trust him.

Notes: For me, I always feel like when I share my art with people they’re very meh about it or they are backhanded or even mean. I’ve not had the best experiences when sharing my sketchbooks or my work with people in my life and the idea of someone being so wholly awestruck just by the trust and openness of sharing something like that gets me. So here we go back on the Marcus Pike train because if I could ever explain what I want in a husband, he’s the man.

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Marcus had known of your love of drawing from the first date. You had been a little shy when he’d asked about your hobbies and interests, when you’d quietly and cautiously told him you liked to draw. When he asked for more detail, the mediums you used, the style you preferred, it had opened you up just a little more, his interest making you preen a little. Although still cautious, gauging his reaction to your answers. It had been like seeing a part of your soul that you kept hidden from people, it had made him simultaneously proud and angry.

Proud because you trusted him, from that first moment, to take you seriously, to listen to your interests and passions and not dismiss them. Angry because at some point, at some time, it was clear someone had dismissed you, made you feel like you weren’t worth listening to, weren’t worth investing time in. It was maddening to think that anyone could make you feel like that, like anyone couldn’t see your worth.

It was baffling because he found you captivating in all your passions and quirks. The way you ranted and rambled on for minutes, sometimes even hours, about something you were passionate about, never failed to draw him to you like a moth to the proverbial flame. The way you managed to trip over anything and everything, clumsy to a fault, was as endearing as it was concerning and he found himself eager to compensate, to pre-empt you going flying because of a step or a crack in the floor. He found the small things, not just the large things enthralling and enamouring, the concept that anyone might think different was just unfathomable.

So he worked to cultivate that trust, to show you that he was interested in you and all the things that made you up. He listened when you talked, never told you he was bored or showed a shred of disinterest. He remembered things you mentioned or were interested in, brought you books on the subject or sent you a link to an article he’d seen.

Watching the way that trust bloomed, the way you opened your heart and soul up to him in little pieces was nothing short of amazing. Still, he knew your art was precious to you, a piece of your soul. Your interests, desires, thoughts, opinions, and preferences are all laid out in pages and pages of thick white paper and red pencil marks. He never pushed it, never asked to see what you were working on or to show him your art, not because he wasn’t interested but because he respected the intimacy of it. You were not some famous painter who put their work on display for the world to see and scrutinise. You were just you, just someone who used art as a form of stress relief and self-expression, someone who guarded their work like they guarded their heart.

So the little trickles of your soul that you shared with him were enough, it didn’t matter if you showed him it all or only select pieces, anything was enough to tell him you cared, that you trusted him, that you wanted his approval. Not because you needed him to give it, not because he was that fundamental or important, but because recognition from him made you smile, made you feel important. You were important whether he liked your work or not.

He still remembers the excitement you exuded, happiness blinding and bright and so brilliant, when you’d finished a new painting and bounded to show him. You’d bundled it up safe and made the drive to his house, rushing up the steps so quick, he’d heard you trip before he heard you knock.

You’d been bouncing on the balls of your feet, painting kept within a folder, nondescript, the sort you kept your certificates in. The wide grin on your face, the shine of your teeth, and crinkles at your eyes had him smiling the moment he opened the door to you, leaning a shoulder against the door frame to watch you adoringly.

“I finished it! It only took me 20 hours but I finally finished it!” You’d rushed inside, pulling him by the arm so fast he had to laugh as he nearly tripped over his own rug. You’d been so excited and so proud as you’d sat him on his couch and carefully pulled the A4 piece of watercolour paper from the folder, plain back to him.

He’d been patient, watching you with the softest of smiles as your eyes flicked back and forth between him, sat with hands clasped between his thighs, elbows on his knees, and your painting. As you grappled with the gravity of showing him a piece of your soul and not knowing how he’d respond, how he’d behave. Patience was the least he could think to give you, and it had brought the best sort of ache to his chest when you’d shyly turned the painting around to show him.

20 hours of work and you looked away, eyes focusing on a plant he had in the corner of his living room rather than on his expression or what he might think. You’d been so nervous to show him and he’d taken the time to truly look at your painting. The colours, the composition, the subject, it didn’t ultimately matter to him whether he truly liked it or not, although he did, because he’d love it anyway. He’d love it anyway because you’d chosen to share it with him, when you were oh so private and careful with your art.

“Sweetheart…” You’d been prepared for rejection, to face the fact that your boyfriend didn’t like your painting, your art, that it was something you just shouldn’t share with him in the future. “It’s amazing! 20 hours? Can I?” He’d gestured to take it, to hold it and get a better look and you’d let him, a little stunned, but overjoyed that he liked it, that he wanted to look at it.

That had been the starting point for you sharing more little bits of your soul with him. You’d bring him finished paintings to look at, occasionally the odd doodle here or there that you completed at work. Not everything, and never your sketchbooks. Those were off limits, something he’d respected because he knew they were more than just a tiny piece of who you were, but quite a large one. Pages and pages of you sat for perusal and to have that rejected would hurt more than anything. So Marcus had been grateful for what little pieces of your art you did choose to share with him.

He’d always made it a point to show how much he liked your art, to shower you in praise and to make you feel listened to, seen, important. Your art was amazing to him. He was an art history major, he loved art, hence his job, but he wasn’t an artist. He’d never had the patience to sit and develop the skill set and so he focused on the work of others, yours was quickly becoming his favourite. You had your own unique style, something he found hard to describe or explain, but that he’d know if he saw your work. He’s almost certain he’d know if someone tried to pass a fake off as your own and if anyone asked who his favourite artist was he’d probably change his answer to you.

Still, he had hoped that one day you’d share that last bit of yourself with him. He hadn’t expected to actually happen, just a hope, a little dream, something he thought about at night before falling asleep.

Certainly not something he expects on date night.

He’s cooking dinner for the two of you, your favourite main and dessert, because he hasn’t had the chance to see you in a good week due to a hectic case, when he hears the tell tell sound of keys in the front door. He’d long since given you your own, letting you come and go as you please, with the excuse that when he was away on a case it meant you could keep an eye on the place and make sure he didn’t get robbed. In truth he liked having you around, liked that you came over just because you wanted to, that you felt welcome and at home and if he wasn’t so dead set on not scaring you off, he might have already asked you to move in. But, he wanted to take his time, not rush it.

“Marcus?”

“In the kitchen, honey!” He’s wiping down the side quickly, hiding the fact he’s a messy cook, when you walk in a heavy looking tote bag over one shoulder. It peaks his interest and from the little laugh you let out you can see it on his face.

“Are you busy?”

“No, it needs a good half hour before I have to check it again, why?” You watch him wipe his hands with a towel and brush at a small stain on his white t-shirt, the one that clings to his arms just right.

You're nervous, you know he can tell from the way your hands grip the bag straps tight over one shoulder to how you bite your bottom lip. He’s always been able to tell. One of the beautiful things about Marcus was the attention he gave to people, not just people he cared about, but people in general. He learnt everything he could about them, stored it away in his mind, and used it to show them how much he cared, how much he knew them, really knew them.

“I...I want to show you something.”

You grab him by the hand, the same way you always do whenever you want to share something, and begin pulling him towards his living room. It’s cosy in here at this time of night, warm light from a couple of lamps, soft blankets thrown over his couch, the ones he’d brought after realising how much you loved a good blanket. It’s a calming thing, to be in here, with him, somewhere you associate with home.

It often seems so silly to you, just how nervous you get about sharing something with Marcus, but you know it’s not. Know it’s not his fault either. Marcus has never given you any reason to doubt him, but other people have, so you push past the nerves because you do really want to show him and watch his face light up like it always does.

You sit him down in his seat, and curl up next to him, kicking your shoes off and placing the bag on the ground. He’s so warm and for a moment you just lean into his side, enjoying the warmth of his body and the way he nuzzles a kiss into your temple, nose tracing little lines gently for a moment. He brings you peace and it is that, that gives you resolve and has you reaching down for the items in the bag.

It doesn’t go unnoticed by you that Marcus places his hands at your waist, worried you might take a tumble off the couch, something you’re prone to. It warms you inside, that he cares so much, that he’s so casual with his affection and so concerned with you and your safety. Even something as simple as making sure he can catch you if you start to fall.

You come back up with a couple of books in hand, plastered with stickers over the front and a little dogeared at the corners. Marcus doesn’t remove his hands from your waist, just pulls you firmly back against his side and watches as you anxiously smooth your hands over the cover of one of them.

“I..I wanted to show you my sketchbooks, or well...the two most recent ones anyway. I...I don’t really show people them...but I want you to see them.” Your eyes are so wide and earnest when you look up at him, that he can’t help but cup your cheek in his hand and rub his thumb across the apple of it. God, he never thought...he never thought you would. Always thought you’d keep this little part of yourself private, separate, guarding it like a dragon guards a horde of gold. But, here you are, so earnest, so nervous, so open, telling him that you want to share this piece of your soul with him and he can’t stop himself from pressing his forehead against yours. Can’t stop himself from the gentle nudge of his nose with yours or the slow press of his lips against your own.

It’s a surprising reaction from Marcus, the way his nose presses into your cheek as he presses a firm but still tender kiss to your lips, the way his hand slides down to cup underneath your jaw, thumb pressing into the hollow there. It’s so surprising that it distracts you for more than a moment, to the point your eyelids take a little bit of time to flutter open after he breaks away, you leaning further into him.

“What...what was that for?”

“For trusting me.” He’s so warm and earnest, but still, he’s patient. He doesn’t grab for the books or open them himself, instead he waits for you to pull back and pick one up, settling it between the two of you.

He waits as you find the courage to open the cover and turn to the first page and every breath leaves him at what he finds there. It is a sketchbook and so it is messy, that’s the nature of it, it is practice and experimentation and you enjoying yourself, and it’s so clear, as each page turns, that this is you in book form.

Each page is either a confirmation of a fact he already knew about you or a new discovery. It tells him little things like how you prefer to draw certain subjects and the colours you lean towards when you reach for markers or coloured pencils. He’s reverent in the way his fingertips brush the paper and trace over the lines, in awe of the way your hands have worked in tune with your mind to put these things to paper and he can’t actually help the tears that start to well up in his eyes. Because you trust him so much, you’re opening the last part of your soul up to him with only a hope that he will not crush it or throw it back at you, that he will not abuse it.

“Baby, why are you crying?” You’re so concerned for him, hands pawing at his cheeks, brushing the rivulets away and cupping his jaw to make him look at you. Brown eyes watery but so happy, so in love and he hopes that you can see that, see how desperately he loves you. “Are you okay? Did...did I do something wrong?”

It hurts him so much to know you assume that you’re at fault. That his tears are bad or that they are a product of you doing something wrong, when they’re a result of just how much he loves you and just how happy he is at the trust and faith you have in him, the love you have for him, that you’ll bare your soul. It’s those moments that make him angry at the people before him. Family, friends, lovers, people who took your trust and crushed it, bent it out of shape and tossed it back malformed and damaged.

“Nooo, no, no, honey. Sweetheart, I'm crying cause I'm happy,” He covers your hands with his own, pulls you impossibly closer, “I’m happy because you trust me enough to show me this and I...I never thought I'd earn that.”

“Oh...well, I love you.”

“I love you too.” It’s said with a laugh, but not at you, the sort of laugh that’s just a bit of a huff of happiness, that comes from being overwhelmingly happy. It’s enough for him that you come to his house, that you share little bits of yourself with him and that you love him enough to do that at all.

While dinner cooks, you keep an eye on the time more than Marcus, he continues to flick through the pages. He comments, sweet little things. How something looks cool or how he likes the colours on a page. Each comment thrills you, fills you to the brim with pride and joy, to the point your cheeks ache from smiling. Perhaps to some people it seems understated, boring, the sort of date night that some would hate, but to the two of you it’s more than just date night. It’s a bonding experience, a sharing one. He feels impossibly lucky to look at your work, to have you there leaning on his shoulder, pressing kisses to his neck, impossibly lucky to have a piece of your soul right there in front of him.

It’s that moment that he knows; you’re it for him. He’s certain. You’re the person he’s going to grow old with, with your sketchbooks in a dedicated bookshelf and he’ll die saying his favourite artist is you.

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#marcus pike x reader #marcus pike/reader #marcus pike #the mentalist #the mentalist reader insert #readerinsert #reader insert #gender neutral reader #artist reader

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