#can you tell i think too often and too hard about grief | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gffa · 5 months

Text

All right, so maybe I went haring off to another fandom for awhile, but I will never fully let go of my STAR WARS fic reading roots because there's just so much incredible fic here and I have such intense feelings about these characters, like how can I possibly truly leave when this fandom knows how to scratch my id just right or make me cry over fictional characters or hyena laugh because you people are very funny? There's just so much fic that is so good that of course I keep coming back! Especially when it comes to Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, there are just so many incredible people making incredible fics for them that feed right back into my love for their twisty, turny, complicated, beautiful, awful relationship. So here's a bunch of Obikin fic because the fandom is amazing and you should go love them as much as I love them, since you can hopefully completely sate yourself on a bunch of fantastic fic to read! Or idk send yourself into a grief coma because sometimes fic writers are almost as mean as canon was, but in the best way, the way that really hits you in the feelings place. Or idk idk just gorge on all the porn because DANG Obikin fandom brings the porn! WHAT KIND OF FIC YOU’LL FIND HERE:

FICS THAT PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE WITH HOW GOOD THEY WERE

CANON-COMPLIANT (-ISH, WHATEVER) AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE GALAXY GOES PEAR-SHAPED

FUCK THE NOISE OUT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S HEAD

DARTH ASSHOLE CAT SHOULD BE GRABBED BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND SCOLDED BACK TO THE LIGHT

FUCK YOU, CANON, THINGS GO A LITTLE NICER IN THIS UNIVERSE

WORLD IS HARD AND COLD, OBIKIN FLUFF IS SOFT AND WARM

MODERN AUS CAN BE FUN AND CHARMING AS HELL AND A GREAT CHANCE TO MAP CANON DYNAMICS ONTO A WORLD WHERE THEY CAN HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE, IT’S A WIN ALL THE WAY AROUND

WHAT DID CANON EVER DO BUT BREAK OUR HEARTS ANYWAY? TIME TO TELL CANON TO FUCK OFF AND WRITE AN AU

TIME TO CRY ABOUT SOME FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

FICS THAT PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE WITH HOW GOOD THEY WERE: ✦ Neutron star collision by thedunesea, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 121k wip In the aftermath of Order 66, Anakin Skywalker's miraculous survival after his confrontation with the new Sith Apprentice Darth Vader ignites a sparkle of hope in the remaining Jedi, in the fledgling rebellion and, above all, in his former Master, who thought he had lost everything to darkness. But darkness is generous, and it is patient. ✦ Together in Slumber by ibex_ascendant, obi-wan/anakin, 2.4k wip Several months after his last confrontation with Darth Vader, Obi-Wan finds himself trapped in a vivid and mysterious mindscape. And he isn't there alone. ✦ Satellite Mind by intermundia, septemberist, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 19.3k Some doors, once opened, can never be closed, and some secrets, once learned, can never be forgotten. or, Five times Obi-Wan heard Anakin’s thoughts, and one time Anakin heard Obi-Wan’s. ✦ Slow Learner by Is0lde, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 12.6k Four times Anakin tried to fit Obi-Wan's big dick inside him and one time he managed it. or; the evolution of their sexual relationship. ✦ Redolent of you by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, dom/sub, 31.3k wip This act of espionage is going to require some class A play at antiquated alpha and omega dynamics, only problem is Anakin has never submitted in his life and it's certainly not within his nature,or so Obi-Wan thinks. ✦ Heal Me, My Darling by wasureneba, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 12.4k Anakin gets sick. Obi-Wan takes care of him. For two weeks. Alone. This would be easier if Anakin wasn't quite so gone for Obi-Wan. Or if this didn't involve a daily stab in the shebs. ✦ For He, too, is King by MayMeows, obi-wan/anakin & padme, NSFW, historical au, 7.7k “I am here to present myself to the man who now calls himself King of my people.” Obi-Wan would be impressed as Anakin’s title as God-King, born from the divine himself, often struck people with awe, terrifying or glorifying, but Queen Amidala’s voice is as strong as her shoulders are squared. ✦ How to Save a Galactic Republic Without Really Trying by Sharp_Tongue, obi-wan/anakin & mace & yoda & quinlan & palpatine, nsfw, time travel, 23.9k After defeating Vader on a barren, nameless moon, Obi-Wan had let go of the past. But the past hadn’t let go of him. ✦ (feel like i die) ‘til i feel your touch by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin & yoda & mace & ahsoka, 15.5k OR; Obi-Wan gets himself cursed and makes it everyone’s, but mainly Anakin’s, problem.

CANON-COMPLIANT (-ISH, WHATEVER) AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE GALAXY GOES PEAR-SHAPED AND/OR DIVERGES: ✦ Yellow Surprise by ToolMusicLover, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 11.1k When Anakin is distant with him during a simple negotiation mission Obi-Wan jumps to the wrong conclusion, luckily for him Anakin isn't willing to let him go so easily. ✦ A Good Epithet by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 8.2k Obi-Wan should have been happy. He had fulfilled Qui-Gon’s final wish. He had trained Anakin, he had spent ten years teaching the boy and watching him grow, he had cared for him and scolded him and coddled him by turns. He had, for better or worse, been Anakin Skywalker’s Master. ✦ hold on to this lullaby by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin & rex, 1k “Anakin,” Kenobi says with a hint of a reprimand in his voice. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” Skywalker staggers further into the room, and a faint blush spreads across his cheeks. He rolls his eyes but it doesn’t do anything to mitigate the color high on his face and the effect it has on his features: a pleased expression flashing clear as ion fire. Having made his way to one of the chairs, he drops down onto it with the elegance of a Hutt. ✦ Any Other World by mysticmjolnir, obi-wan/anakin & vader & leia & reva, NSFW, dimension hopping, 24.2k wip Anakin has been looking for his Master for a very long time. Finally, on Mapuzo, he finds him. ✦ sea to a desert by maragny, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 3.1k An interlude and an aftermath; or: how to love someone you seem to have spent half your life loving. ✦ spirit meets the bone by treescape, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, time travel, dom/sub, 2k Or, the Force keeps sending Anakin forward in time from the Clone Wars. ✦ Azúcar, Sudor by Delzi, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, spanking/discipline, 18.6k wip Anakin can't stand Obi-Wan's new disciplinary tactic, but he absolutely loves it. ✦ Too Hot by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.8k Too Hot: A game where two players kiss without stopping and without touching each other. If one player touches the other, that player loses. The winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser. ✦ dream a little dream of me by answersinahauntedclub, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 10.3k Anakin’s eyes snapped open. Oh no. Oh no. Anakin slumped back into the bed, staring down at himself in horror. Anakin Skywalker had just had a wet dream about Obi-Wan Kenobi. [or—you think you have problems? try having wet dreams of your friend-slash-former-master and then trying to figure out what that’s supposed to mean.] ✦ sea to a desert by maragny, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 3.1k An interlude and an aftermath; or: how to love someone you seem to have spent half your life loving.

FUCK THE NOISE OUT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S HEAD: ✦ Strings Pulled Taut by preromantics, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.8k (AKA Anakin gets a bunch of gunk in his hair, Obi-Wan has been hyper-fixated, and it all bursts like a bubble.) ✦ dark red by wesnenski, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.9k He feels Obi-Wan before he sees him: a ripple in the Force, a glow of warmth in the darkness. When he appears from the shadows like a bleary-eyed spectre, Anakin can only look up at him, nostrils flared, lip quivering. Here is his Master, tired and gaunt but solid and present and real. ✦ Take Care of Yourself, I Wish I Could by Kefalion, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 7k While Obi-Wan and Anakin are alone on a planet during a mission, Anakin goes into a presentation heat. One Obi-Wan will not help him through no matter how much they'd both want it. Not that they know that want is mutual. ✦ Fever by dirkygoodness, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, cat boy!anakin, 3.5k Obi-Wan wakes up to a cuddly (Ny)Anakin and is met with something he isn't expecting. He's going to have to deal with it though. And enjoy himself as he does. ✦ sink into the dunes by stardies, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 9k [A collection of small Obikin drabbles. Each chapter will have its own one shot.] 01. sfw, anakin’s separation anxiety. 02. first time nsfw. 03. obikin zine piece, sith!obi-wan, jedi!anakin, handjobs. ✦ a necessary respite by Anonymous, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.6k to be fair, all of this is obiwan’s fault. even though his master is calmly sorting through reports the faint buzz of arousal in the back of both of their heads is majorly coming from him, anakin just can’t help but react to it. ✦ the lean and hungry type by tideswept, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 4.5k And so is Anakin, really, for being excited about this rather than angry. He wets his lower lip, striving to cohere his thoughts into something that isn’t appallingly horny, when Master speaks. “I’m not in rut,” he says quietly. “I wouldn’t spring that on you.” “I mean,” Anakin pauses. “You could.” ✦ when people show you who they are, believe them by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, spanking, dom/sub, 3k Anakin has a meeting with the Chancellor. Obi-Wan convinces him to take a slow morning instead. ✦ needs must by silianrail, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, dual sex!anakin, 1.7k Anakin must be the neediest omega in the entire temple, if not on the entire planet. But if Anakin is needy, what does that make Obi-Wan, who, after all, bends to so many of his padawan’s desires? ✦ Use Me by kittimau, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.5k Anakin knows what Obi-Wan needs, even if he won't say it.

✦ Insatiable by TheSopherfly, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.8k Obi-Wan meets Anakin’s eyes with a rueful smile. “You wanted it fast, yes?” “Yes.” Even without their responsibilities looming, Anakin would’ve wanted it like this; quick and dirty, like they just can’t help themselves. “Yeah. Fast is perfect.” “Good,” Obi-Wan says, punctuating the word with a single thrust. “Because I don’t think I’ll last long.” Or; With the twins still asleep, Anakin and Obi-Wan steal some time for themselves. ✦ Hazy Shade of Winter by Lemon (lemon_sprinkles), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.7k Obi-Wan runs hot; Anakin most definitely does not. Thankfully Obi-Wan is there to warm Anakin up when things get unusually cold in the Jedi Temple. ✦ The Love You Want by passeridae, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, potential dub con-esque (read the tags), 6.8k They've returned to their rooms after sparring, flushed and laughing and close enough that the very air feels heated between them. Once the door has closed, Obi-Wan turns to Anakin, smiling, takes Anakin's jaw in the cup of his hand and kisses him like the first blush of spring. "You'll be good for me, won't you?" he murmurs, and Anakin does nothing more than dreamily nod because he knows just what to do when he's slipped under like this. Knows his job is to be obedient and pliant and good. ✦ Handle Me With Care by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 5.3k Obi Wan wants Anakin but he knows he shouldn't. He also knows that there is no way he could ever act on it - or so he thought. ✦ tear me apart by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 2.4k Obi-Wan uses Anakin in the Council Chamber ✦ A Lesson in Listening by GayCheerios, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, toys, 4.4k “Anakin,” Obi-Wan says simply. Anakin feels chills run down his spine. That tone means everything except simplicity. “Bedroom.” His husband commands. ✦ Keeping Company by Gwendolyn (storiesofchaos), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 11.1k "So, will you? Will you help me through my heat? Please, I want you to fuck me, Master, I need it." Anakin doesn't care that he's begging already, but he's getting even wetter between his legs and he can't help it. Obi-Wan doesn't seem to mind anyway, because he groans and drags his fingers up into Anakin's hair and tugs slightly, making Anakin gasp. "Force, yes, I'll give you what you need, Anakin." ✦ king unmaker by unbitten, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, transmasc!anakin, royalty au, 4.4k How to get your King to stop playing hooky from his appointments to make trips to the brothel? Scold him. Stare disapprovingly. Fuck him yourself.

DARTH ASSHOLE CAT SHOULD BE GRABBED BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND SCOLDED BACK TO THE LIGHT: ✦ Reunion by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/darth vader, ~1k Some sweetness to help with the absolute agony of Obi-Wan lol ✦ The Jedi Child by RowenaNie, obi-wan/darth vader & luke & leia & cast, NSFW, pregnant!anakin, 48.1k “The emperor has put my replacement inside of me,” Vader said. ✦ Hand in Unlovable Hand by Rachello344, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 2.8k Post Kenobi Part VI: Instead of leaving Vader for dead, Obi-Wan finds himself unable to abandon his dear friend again and so takes him with him. How can Obi-Wan Kenobi live without the other half of himself? Whatever it takes, he will drag Anakin back to himself, kicking and screaming. ✦ dreamscape melodies by egeria, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 2.9k "The layers you Jedi wear are ridiculous," Vader grumbled. Obi-Wan let out a huff. "We're in a dream, are we not? Can we not just will our clothes off?" -- or: Vader is in heat and Obi-Wan is in his dream. It's still complicated. ✦ to restrain the darkness by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, some dom/sub, 2k Or, Vader wants Obi-Wan to tie him up. ✦ dreams of old by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, nsfw, 4.1k wip Obi-Wan surrenders to Vader on Jabiim in exchange for everyone else's freedom.

FUCK YOU, CANON, THINGS GO A LITTLE NICER IN THIS UNIVERSE: ✦ afterimages by shatou, obi-wan/anakin, 1.3k Mustafar is nothing but a bad dream. ✦ Sticky by Delziae, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka & rex & cast, NSFW, omegaverse, 25.9k [Or: In which Anakin is too horny to handle and Obi-wan has a bit less control than he originally thought.] ✦ That Never Wrote To Me by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, omegaverse, 5.3k After the Rako Hardeen mission, everyone Obi-Wan loves has turned away from him. It’s been months since he’s even seen Anakin, but their bond had been closed off for years. Knowing that Anakin would never want him the way Obi-Wan wanted Anakin had been painful enough, but at least he still had their friendship. And now even that’s gone, and the cold has settled into his bones. Acute Isolation Syndrome is so rare that Obi-Wan doesn’t recognize the symptoms. Doesn’t even realize that he’s dying. ✦ dream a little dream of me by answersinahauntedclub, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & padme, 10.3k [or—you think you have problems? try having wet dreams of your friend-slash-former-master and then trying to figure out what that’s supposed to mean.] ✦ Stargazing by thegingerwrites, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 21k Anakin and Obi-Wan have become too well-known on the Holonet to take on undercover assignments anymore. But desperate times call for desperate measures and the Council asks them to make contact with a Separatist defector at a gala hosted on Mandalore. At least the event is a masquerade. ✦ praise you by RagnarLothcat, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 17.9k An act of insubordination, a crash landing and a trek through the forests of an uncharted planet bring Anakin and Obi-Wan to a very hospitable village. Sure they think Anakin is a god, but really, what's wrong with wanting to be appreciated? ✦ terribly inconvenient and incredibly terrific by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 24.8k Obi-Wan has the sheer nerve to imply that Anakin is ill-suited for a mission he himself is going on, which means that Anakin will stop at nothing to prove his old master wrong. After all, Anakin can do anything Obi-Wan can do, thank you very much. Even if maybe, just this one time, Obi-Wan is right. This mission relies on the one area of Anakin's life he's never spent much time or effort thinking about: his omega designation and Obi-Wan's alpha one. But there's no way that Anakin is going to back down now. What will Obi-Wan do? Go to the planet with another, non-Anakin omega? Don't make him laugh. He's Obi-Wan's partner. And Obi-Wan is his alpha. Alpha master. Same thing. ✦ and when you look at me, the weight of how i feel is heavy on me by brahe, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & mace & depa & qui-gon & rex & cast, 37.9k “Jus’ like a sun,” Anakin murmurs, and Obi-Wan has to strain to hear it, almost misses it. He stills. “Beautiful shining sun,” Anakin continues, and presses his face further into the pool of robes. His voice is slow and sleepy, and Obi-Wan realizes he can tell Anakin is about to drop off into sleep. He blinks, lifting his head to stare down at him in something between awe and shock. That seems to be the standard operating procedure when it comes to Anakin, he thinks, a little wry, a little wondrous.

WORLD IS HARD AND COLD, OBIKIN FLUFF IS SOFT AND WARM: ✦ a vacationer's guide to being unexpectedly married by treescape, obi-wan/anakin & cast, 7.8k “A vacation, you need,” Master Yoda had insisted firmly beneath their incredulous stares when they’d first received their instructions. “On a beach, perhaps, hmmm?” ✦ The Lonely Mollusk by temple_mistress, obi-wan/anakin & luke & leia, nsfw, 2k Obi-Wan was incredibly horny, Anakin was, Force-bless him, more than ready to oblige, and the children were miraculously still sleeping. ✦ looking for trouble by orphan_account, obi-wan/anakin (mentioned obi-wan/anakin/padme), spanking, 1.7k Anakin gets in a fight. Obi-Wan cleans him up and spanks him.

MODERN AUS CAN BE FUN AND CHARMING AS HELL AND A GREAT CHANCE TO MAP CANON DYNAMICS ONTO A WORLD WHERE THEY CAN HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE, IT’S A WIN ALL THE WAY AROUND: ✦ (I just) died in your arms tonight by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, modern au, 2.5k wip Where Obi-Wan is still a master of politics and Anakin still fixes spaceships and they’re still irrevocably obsessed with one another. ✦ Win Condition by passeridae, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, F1 au, 4.3k Anakin has just won his first race of his F1 career and Obi-Wan, his longtime trainer and partner, knows just what his boy should get as a reward. (His dick. The reward is his dick.) ✦ Hooked on You by whohatessand, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, 5.2k With his wife's approaching senatorial election, Anakin Skywalker tries desperately to be the perfect husband she needs. Little does Padmé know, her husband has been sleeping with her campaign manager, Obi-Wan Kenobi, for quite a while now. ✦ we’re swimming with the sharks (until we drown) by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, fake married, 5.8k wip He looks up and meets Anakin’s eyes. A thoughtful expression passes over his face. “Married people are paid significantly more,” he says then, slowly, looking at Anakin like he’s trying to solve a riddle. Anakin stares, dumbstruck. “Huh.” ✦ Would You Like Cream With That? by ranianke, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, professor obi-wan, 2.1k Obi-Wan was a good teacher. His students learned the content, he got flattering reviews (even when you ignored the chili pepper Rate My Professors reviews that he could not seem to get taken down), and he generally liked teaching. Good professors did not sleep with their students. ✦ Pride & Preparation by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, school au, 5.6k “You’re beautiful,” Anakin praised, making Obi-Wan blush. “And nervous.” Obi-Wan scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Of course I’m nervous.” “You shouldn’t be,” Anakin said easily, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan’s lips. “I love you, and this is going to be really fun.” ✦ swear each night to let him go by vorpalstars, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka, NSFW, modern au, professor!obi-wan, 10.3k wip Anakin develops an unfortunate amount of lust for his literature teacher ✦ Seven Minutes in Anakin by Saratutti, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, dom/sub, 1.9k Fully enamored doesn't even begin to describe Anakin’s captivation with the gorgeous professor he has stumbled into dating this Christmas season. ✦ The Melody Wakes the Heart by edgeofn1ght, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, 3.5k However, it's practically love at first sight when Obi-Wan passes a new busker working the alley he passes through every day going to and from work. ✦ Pick-up Games by SingManyFaces, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, 1.1k Ben’s quiet afternoon is ruined by a basketball player who needs some medical attention. He doesn’t mind too much. ✦ Prompted - Chapter 22: Brakebills by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 10.2k Anakin Skywalker was not a typical student of Brakebills University for Magical Pedagogy.

WHAT DID CANON EVER DO BUT BREAK OUR HEARTS ANYWAY? TIME TO TELL CANON TO FUCK OFF AND WRITE AN AU: ✦ death by any other name by loosingletters, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon, vampire au, 11.5k While on a mission during his years as a Padawan, Obi-Wan escapes the tight hold of death transformed into something not quite human. In the years following, he isn’t always so lucky. ✦ Till Human Voices Wake Us by RagnarLothcat, obi-wan/anakin, mer!anakin, 2.7k It’s late summer when Obi-Wan first notices a flash of gold between the waves. ✦ Goodbye by Ripki, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon, nsfw, 1.2k Anakin has no wish to leave Obi-Wan, not when they have just been reunited. Luckily for him, Obi-Wan is good at making their goodbye very memorable. ✦ tender like a bruise by stardies, obi-wan/anakin & cast, omegaverse, 6.8k wip In a stroke of desperation, Obi-wan mates Anakin Skywalker by force on the fiery planet of Mustafar to stop his Fall and save his life. Taken back to Coruscant and imprisoned, Anakin feels the senate's pressure for justice, and Obi-wan, his mate and former mentor is determined to give him another chance. ✦ canaries underground by TheGoodDoctor, obi-wan/padme & references to anakin/padme & obi-wan/anakin & obi-wan/anakin/padme, NSFW, padme lives, 10k There are good days, and bad days. This is a good one. ✦ use my body to break your fall by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka & mace & yoda & palpatine & cast, NSFW, Not a Jedi!Anakin, Sith!Obi-Wan, 63.5k Obi-Wan Kenobi is too good at being a Sith Lord general of the Separatist army. The Jedi Council approaches Anakin with an offer he can't refuse. These things are, actually, related.

TIME TO CRY ABOUT SOME FICTIONAL CHARACTERS: ✦ you can't just leave me by amadwinter, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, omegaverse, 1.6k Anakin swears he’s above his Omega instincts, but when he’s sparring with his Alpha master one day, some wires get crossed that leave him unable to distinguish friend from foe. A primal fear consumes him, and no amount of Jedi training will shake the feeling he needs to escape. He needs to protect himself from the dangerous Alpha circling around him, searching for any sign of weakness. When backed into a corner, an Omega’s last line of defense is their bite. After all, an Alpha would never hurt their mate… ✦ A Little Early, A Little Late by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 7.4k Anakin finds out he's pregnant. The problem is that his mating ceremony isn't for another four months. ✦ Sweet Surprise by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 12.3k Obi Wan and Anakin are forced to land on an unfamiliar planet. Anakin is perplexed by everyone's obvious interest in him, unsure what could be causing it. That is, until he receives some unexpected news. The problem is, Anakin's not quite sure he believes it. The other problem is what Obi Wan might think when he finds out. ✦ That Never Wrote To Me by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & vokara, NSFW, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 5.3k After the Rako Hardeen mission, everyone Obi-Wan loves has turned away from him. It’s been months since he’s even seen Anakin, but their bond had been closed off for years. Knowing that Anakin would never want him the way Obi-Wan wanted Anakin had been painful enough, but at least he still had their friendship. And now even that’s gone, and the cold has settled into his bones. Acute Isolation Syndrome is so rare that Obi-Wan doesn’t recognize the symptoms. Doesn’t even realize that he’s dying.

#lumi.txt #star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obikin #obianidala #fic recs #star wars fic recs

620 notes · View notes

tripleyeeet · 7 months

Text

A FOOLISH LOVER'S OFFERING (10)

SUMMARY: On the way to Moonrise you and Astarion talk about some important things.

PAIRING: Astarion & Female Reader

WORD COUNT: 3,060

WARNINGS: Spoilers for Act 2 (henceforth there will be spoilers in all chapters here on out), ANGST, mentions of murder.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hi this chapter single handedly took every brain cell I had to write so hopefully you like it because I just want to set it on fire for all the grief it has caused me!!

CHAPTER LIST / MASTERLIST / NEXT CHAPTER

“Gods, I hate this place.”

Gripping your torch, you try your best to focus on the Harper’s. How they move through the shadows, navigating every twist and turn without issue, leading you through the pathways.

It hasn’t been long since you’ve started your journey. No longer can you see the shining veil of the Inn but, given what you know, you’re well aware that your destination isn’t nearly ahead either. There’s still plenty of walking to do. A few hour's journey at the least. Perhaps more if Astarion insists on continuing to walk so slowly.

At your side, his eyes scan the trees with a heavy breath, taking in the decrepit scenery at such a leisurely pace that it makes you huff and glance around, noting the distance between you and the others. At this point, you’re close enough that you can still see them but too far to hear what any of them are saying —something you’re certain Astarion’s done on purpose when he plants his arm around your shoulder.

“You know, I happen to find it quite charming. All the dread and despair. It’s a bit like being at home.”

You give him a look, raising your brow only to receive a snort in response, confirming that he’s (thankfully) kidding. “Ha, you think you’re so funny, don’t you?”

“Funny?” He moves his other hand to his chest, placing it against his leathers. “Darling, I’m hilarious.”

“Yes, yes, a real jester.”

His fingers flex around your shoulder, squeezing. “I’ll have you know I’ve always been funny. Even before all this vampiric bullshit.”

“Yeah?”

He nods, a slight thought flashing across his face that makes you wonder what he’s thinking about. Given the circumstances, you assume it’s a thought of the past. Perhaps of his life before Cazador’s reign. When he was merely an elf roaming topside around Baldur’s Gate without a care in the world. You imagine he was funny back then. Mischievous. Probably a little too out there, even for a magistrate considering the personality you’ve grown to love. Based on pure assumption, he probably had more fun in one night than you in a lifetime, spending his hard-earning coin on good food and drinks and—

“It’s rude to stare, you know.” He pulls you tighter into him, using his free hand to pluck the torch out of your hand so that you can wrap yourself around him. As you do, both of you breathe a sigh of what feels like relief, even though you’re currently experiencing anything but.

“Sorry.”

“Well, you were staring at me, so I suppose I can forgive.”

“Many thanks, my liege.”

He growls suggestively under his breath, making you scoff. “My liege, hm, I could get behind that.”

“Of course you could.”

“My liege,” he repeats, tasting it on his tongue, eyeing you with a lusty gaze that doesn’t quite make its mark.

Which only furthers the assumption that he’s deep inside his head still. Sifting through thoughts you’re completely unaware of as you walk in tandem to your potential untimely end. Almost immediately, it makes you wonder if maybe this is the right time to start asking questions. To finally speak up about the inquiries that have filed through your skull. Because after this, there’s no telling where you may find yourselves. You could be killed or locked away —lost to an abyss of some kind.

The options are endless; however, time is not, so instead of stewing in the silence you currently find yourselves in, you look up at him, taking in the shape of his face.

You’ve known him long enough now to know that the comments he often makes about his beauty are true. In appearance, he’s almost otherworldly. A beacon of well-aged flesh your eyes feel constantly drawn to. Whenever he’s around there’s this feeling of awe that comes forth. A subtle beating in your chest that quickens each time he’s present. When you look at him —really look at him— your eyes tend to open a little wider, surprised by how every feature seems to fit so perfectly in place. How everything feels uncharacteristically cohesive given his time spent abused beneath the moon, forced to stave and serve for all eternity.

If it weren’t for the issue of Cazador you’d be convinced he was blessed by the Gods themselves. Melded by their very hands to create a being of such high temptation and desire. You imagine them brainstorming his existence. Tirelessly spending weeks on end crafting the perfect specimen that would ultimately end up broken.

You realize then, taking in the lines that have developed throughout countless bouts of false grinning, that the very thing he loves most about himself was more than likely the result of his own downfall.

A downfall you find you’re still curious about. Even after your conversation, Astarion’s life before all this still holds an air of mystery. Between details already revealed, there are still patches of missing information. Sections of time where assumptions feel wrong but asking feels just as bad. And because of that, deep down, you know you should leave the curiosity alone. Pack it into the back of your mind for later use, but with the oncoming war and no determined outcome, you instead loosen your hold and take a side step.

“Can I ask you something?”

He narrows his eyes, readjusting his position now that you’re not locked against him, suddenly looking awkward as he puffs out his chest. “Depends.”

“On?”

“Whether or not the question is going to be depressing,” he replies. “Because you have that look in your eye.”

“What look?”

He reaches out to poke your forehead, pressing it roughly. “The one where your brows look like they’re going to become one at a moment’s notice.”

Swatting his hand away, you twitch your brows back into their proper positioning, annoyed. “I was going to ask about Cazador,” you tell him, truthfully. “I know he’s probably not a topic you want to discuss as we waltz to our potential doom but —I don’t know— I just have questions.”

He sighs deeply, drawing out his breath before giving you an unimpressed look that speaks volumes.

He doesn’t want to talk about it. Nor do you, but at the same time, you’re at the point where you’re unable to deny your interest because Astarion’s your friend. A companion you cherish more than you know you should. A person whose well-being is so important you’d virtually do anything to maintain it. Which is why you’re determined to pry a bit more than usual. Taking these final moments you have to yourself to ask the one question you’ve been wondering for ages.

“What will you do about him? When this is all over.”

Surprisingly, there’s no hesitation in his words when he tells you he’ll kill him. As you continue along the path, listening to him come up with all the vile ways he’d do it, you find yourself strangely calm. Numb almost to the descriptions of stakes being driven into hearts or knives slicing through jugular veins. Lost in the way he throws your torch around with every passing phrase.

“Personally, I think a stake to the heart’s a bit cheap,” you eventually comment, watching him laugh. Hearing the way the sound quickly flutters out and hits your ears, making you smile despite the subject matter.

“It’s a classic for a reason, my dear.”

“Is it though? I mean, in my experience there’s far better ways to kill someone.”

“Is there, now? Do tell.”

You’re not sure if it’s just because you’ve grown used to the excessive violence throughout your journey or because Astarion’s tendencies have potentially rubbed off on you. Either way, as the two of you joke of his master’s demise you find yourself wondering if maybe such a result is even plausible. Sure, you’ve never killed a vampire. Hell, before Astarion you’re not even sure you’ve seen one up close, but for him, you’d be willing to try. Especially given the ever-growing lack of regard for your own safety.

“Honestly, the only thing that’s coming to mind is cutting him open and doing something to his innards.”

His brows shoot up in surprise, making you laugh. “Mm, a cold-blooded killer after my own heart.”

You roll your eyes, prompting his hand to subtly grip your own. Tangling your fingers together, he raises your palm carefully up to his lips and places a lingering kiss. One that tickles your flesh long after he’s gone, leaving you grinning like a fool, wondering if this is what love feels like.

You imagine it is. Deep beneath the surface, your chest is tight but not with fear. Instead, there’s only warmth that spreads —a growing sensation of heat that wraps around your lungs and heart. Filling you with this discomforting ache that only he can alleviate. So much so that it makes you want to scream sometimes, knowing he’s the cause. That somehow through his charms and tricks he’s managed to find a home inside your chest without permission. How he’s sliced you open with that wicked grin and crawled inside, calling you darling all the while.

It makes you wonder if he feels the same. If all the afflictions he’s given you are returned in some capacity. If when you look at him his mouth goes dry or his heart skips a beat. Or the longing to be near is indeed reciprocated and not just another plot to keep you close.

Because sometimes it’s hard to tell.

Throughout your journey, you’ve gone back and forth a hundred times, debating the possibilities —weighing the pros and cons of every interaction that you’ve ever had. Even now, knowing such trivial thoughts should be the last thing on your mind, you can’t help but wonder: does he care for you? Truly? Does he think of you? Does he look for you? Within his everyday thoughts does your presence linger in the background, waiting for the right moment to be put on full display for him to admire?

Does he love you?

“You know, if you ever need help with the whole murdering Cazador thing…”

It sounds ridiculous when you say it. So nonchalant and unfazed. Even you have to cringe at the way you trail off, waiting for him to speak. Praying that he’ll laugh or scoff or say literally anything to fill the silence you find yourselves walking through.

It takes him a while but eventually, you hear him quietly sigh, his gaze moving to view your nervous face. “It won’t be easy, you know. Cazador isn’t some vagabond with a blade, he’s—“

“I know.”

“No, you don’t.”

He says it like a warning. As if he’s preparing to scold you for speaking out of term, narrowing his eyes with a huff. “Darling, I appreciate the enthusiasm but Cazador —he’s different. He’s not like the villains we’ve faced thus far. He isn’t motivated by greed or lust. The only thing he wants is power. Power over me —over you.”

He pauses then, swallowing hard. Making it apparent then that this hypothetical conversation of murderous jokes has turned into something far more real. That your offering is no longer a mere gesture of kindness but instead a potential act of solidarity. One that you extend further by running your thumb along his, applying a bit of pressure at the joint, feeling him twitch.

“You know there’s very little I wouldn’t do for you, right?”

In an instant his eyes are on you, staring in surprise, trying to process the words that’ve just spilled through your lips. At first, they’re focused on their position, fully immersed in the way you clear your throat, trying to suppress a nervous laugh as you continue to grip his hand. Not long after though, they start to go distant, moving past your face to view the trees behind you, fizzling out of reality so quick that all you can do is try to pull him back.

“I know you probably think I’m in idiot for even suggesting that fact that I may be capable of killing someone who spent centuries in control of so many people—“

“A bit, yes.”

You snort, watching him slowly start to return to you, his lips curling into a half smile you can’t help but reach out and touch, stopping your stride. “But I would do anything you asked of me. Even if it meant death, I would kill that bastard for you without hesitation. Whatever way you wanted, whether it’s decapitation or throwing him off a bloody cliff or—“

The light of the torch shifts as his hand slips out of yours, taking hold of your head to guide you to his lips. To press his mouth to yours with such need that the breath within your lungs is ripped out. Swallowed behind his starving tongue —lapping whatever life you have to offer as his hand drifts over your cheek, taking hold of your flesh to keep you from leaving.

Standing still, you can feel the tenseness of his frame as it all happens. How aside from his mouth and hand the rest of him refuses to move, prompting you to reach out, running your hands along his sides, coaxing him to relax.

When his body does, you slowly pull away, sucking in air like your life depends on it, watching with half-lidded eyes and swollen lips as he opens his mouth to speak, stuttering out something incoherent before swearing under his breath.

Narrowing your eyes further, you watch him struggle to speak, wondering what could be going on in that complicated brain of his as he turns his body, releasing you from his grasp in favour of moving forward again.

Immediately, it makes you drop your jaw in annoyance, watching his hands move towards his hair, gripping his locks in frustration as you hear him mutter to himself and continue to move, leaving you behind.

“Hold on, you’re just going to kiss me like that and walk away?”

He doesn’t even turn to acknowledge you as you yell, making you even angrier as you race toward him, placing a rough hand against his shoulder to gain his attention.

“Astarion—“

“Do you mean it?”

Your mouth twitches when he turns, looking at you with angry eyes. Scanning you with knitted brows filled with so much frustration all you can do is breathe and nod.

“Why?”

Because I love you.

“Because…”

“Tell me.”

Your mouth is drier than it’s ever been, making it hard for you to form the words as you feel your tongue poke out to wet your lips. “I—“

His shoulder shifts from your grasp in one quick motion, leaving you bare —untethered and weak against the aggression of his eyes staring you down. “You know, I’ve spent centuries coming up with all the ways I’d do it. How I’d kill him if given the chance.”

You watch his gaze move to the trees again, travelling elsewhere even though you’re here, standing still in front of him, already wondering how you'll get him back.

“Despite the scenarios being nothing but my foolish imagination running rampant, every time I end up suffering. Forced further into madness —pushed to the brink of what my body is capable of handling.” He shakes his head before raising it, blinking back tears that make your body ache. “Even in my wildest dreams I cannot win against his torment and yet… the moment you mention it… the moment you look at me with those eyes—”

Hearing him choke back a nervous laugh, this time it’s you who’s on him, clutching his face with both hands, pressing your thumbs to the inner corners of his eyes to wipe away the liquid that continues to pool.

“Why are you so willing to help me do the unimaginable?”

This time there’s no hesitation. No moment of thought that graces your mind as you smile up at him, pulling him further down with shaking hands to press your forehead to his. “It’s because I love you,” you tell him then. Barely above a whisper, you let it filter out like smoke, allowing it to envelop him entirely as you breathe and take him in, watching the way his lips unfurl and the anger laced within his features slips away. “And because the thought of allowing him to live after what he did to you fills me with a kind of rage I’m not sure I’ve ever felt before.”

His hand moves to stroke the side of your neck. Gently, his fingers run across the bite marks he's inflicted, marking their positions with two subtle taps before they glide away, rooting themselves at the back of your head for support. Forcing you to remain in the moment, realizing what you’ve just said.

It’s hardly the right time to admit your feelings. But then again, given the circumstances, you quickly remember that there really isn’t one. Considering you're in the middle of a war, on your way to Ketheric’s base, it’s very unlikely you’ll have a spare moment to clear your mind and properly say all the things you’ve been itching to say.

Until the end, it’ll always feel like something’s missing —like you’ve forgotten an important phrase or detail. That whatever you say will never be enough to fully convey the weight of how he makes you feel each time he looks you up and down or makes you laugh.

Even as you stand before him now, holding him tight —watching the tears within his eyes threaten to spill once again, you know nothing you say will ever amount to the ache inside your chest, knowing that you’ve managed to give him the last sliver of hope you have to offer.

“I love you, Astarion,” you repeat then, praying this time it holds its weight. That the nervous rush inside your stomach passes through and all you’re left with is the kind of warmth you’ve only read about in stories.

His jaw is slack as you repeat your confession, shifting in a way that makes you more nervous than it should, watching him blink and hearing him breathe —doing everything but speak the words you want to hear as Shadowheart calls your name, pulling you both away to notice the annoyed look on her face as she tells you to hurry up.

TAGLIST:

@poohxlove @gaiasmight @sassy-stupid @novarex @v-gremlin @sapphiccloud @lipstickghoulie @kuroitsukyo@jjfchk@idiotsatan@bluestuesday@bloopthebat@art-by-greenie@heneralmoon@sukunababe@dreamingaboutyousworld@ranfithegood@haniscrying@liadamerondjarin@the-lake-is-calling@marina-and-the-memes@rookieoftheyear@zraloci-cpr@kaetmo@snickerdoodle-daydream@wowowwild@d1anna@raswiet@conniesbbymama@venus-wrts@demonicthorns@kihten@deadglamsheep@sanscas@spammypasta@leighsartworks216@rose-gold-blue@p1ssmagg0t@hellish-writes@ghostinvenus@otayz@sexysquatch@sleepyeclair@colorful-anxieties@alina-exe@ilana-the-lasagna@lillifer@girlwiththepapatattoo@y2cade@acelin-ginsberg@pinkuranium@catrad0rable@scarletrosesposts@qwnamidala@itsrosebabe@bunnyperi@queenofcarrotflowers-s@tatumadams20@spkyxszn@chlort@f3v3rs@awkwardwookie@joy-the-reader@warm-milk-with-honey-blog@vertigocrime@iyis@wildpiper@pebblethestone@tillywasneverhere@bex-03@kaetmo@revemiya@staticspouse@itzagothamcitysiren@djarinsmixtape@when-the-night-came@epicy0n@bababahannah@sleepyred1703@lotus-99@lofcompass@r4d10h34d5@vampninjaz@itsmekalou@offbrandhand@yikes-buddy@konenichi@rainonarden@oceanbluesixeyes@bodtyworship@maydayitsjay@greasyslimebucket@yeeteth-the-raven@fantasyfairysworld@allexthakatt@flowersaretheshit@morglyne@thespectacularspaceace@cephiss0@use-your-telescope@furblrwurblr@kloverfield@angelofthorr@writervaul-t@starved-kitten@minixluvr@crowley--aziraphale@sapphicwren@alionera-blog@jennithejester@dezedrol@thisisew@saladalpaca@applepiewithbacon@httpbiohazard@aurasyn@nerdoodles@kingpinthedevil@itzkawaiix@domainoflostsouls@silverskylan@uminootome@helpidkwhatimdoingwrong@deadlyinfernos@blackbirdswhispers@sarahskywalker-amadala@writingmysanity@f3v3rs@jayjones03@quietlyebbie@optimisticprime3@eyes-for-daze@sunnytalia3@megoshh@maddiedott

(If you'd like to be added to the taglist, fill out this form. Also, if your name isn't on here and it should be I couldn't tag you so message me and I'll try again next time!)

#a foolish lover's offering #astarion #astarion bg3 #astarion fan fic #astarion series #astarion x female reader #astarion x reader #astarion x you #summer writes

428 notes · View notes

ethereallyjade · 2 months

Text

Pick a Card: Traits of Your F/S

Choose a photo that calls to you and the cards will tell you a message. As always, this is just for fun. Do not take anything seriously or above legal or medical advice. If your interested in personal tarot readings and want to support me, check out my Paid Readings! Masterlist

1 - 2

3 - 4

Images are not mine

⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻⸻

Pile 1

Your F/S might wear big clothes. I'm seeing dresses, baggy clothes, or just oversized things. I'm getting somewhat emo vibes or they might just like black clothing. They are great at keeping optimism and picking themselves back up after periods of grief. Your F/S might have a hard time connecting with others or has had a bit of a rough past in terms of relationships. They could be a bit of a rebel as well or just crave more freedom in their lives. Back to their looks, their clothes might stand out in some way. Something about them or their personality is bold, but they don't even mean to be. They might have a very simple look, but it's so different from those around them that it comes off as bold, because I'm picking up on a very quiet and even reserved energy from them so I don't think their looks are a very conscious choice on their part. Either way, I'm still seeing that they're confident in themselves and have a leader like potential.

Pile 2

Clumsy, and colorful. Might wear sweaters or hoodies a lot. Could have an affinity towards churches? Or maybe really likes historic buildings or museums. Likes to travel. Likes the ocean. They are independent and trust their own decisions. They might move homes a lot and don't like living in one area for too long. They might live or be from somewhere with a cold climate. They have a humble upbringing. Could have come from a broken home, divorced parents, low income, or even faced homelessness at some point, but I'm seeing that they're ready to move on from that or have already. All in all, they're a very talented person and they're ready to take their opportunities. They might be from a different country than you.

Pile 3

Clean, smooth, "Must be perfect." Maybe their a Virgo lmao. I'm seeing that they can be the type of person to put up a front. They appear as well put together, mature, clean, and may even be seen as a leader of sorts, but on the inside they're definitely struggling with something. They might be a really naive person, and find themselves often being taken advantage of by those around them. This could also be taken as they're a very emotional person and need to learn how to put up this courageous front so that they stop being taken advantage of. As far as physical appearance goes, I'm seeing someone who's blond, medium length hair. Might like wearing blues and greens, dresses or long shirts. They might like to accessorize themselves. They may also be the type to really dress up when they leave the house, but dress very casual or im hearing 'bummy' behind closed doors lol.

Pile 4

They like hanging out with friends or even partying and drinking. They love to travel. I'm seeing a very happy and positive person hear. Maybe they can be randomly contemplative or have big dreams which is something their friends find odd about them because they usually have a kind of careless and partying type of personality. On the flip side, I can also see this as being someone that does not like to party. Maybe they're surrounding friends have a careless, parting attitude towards life and they want to break free of that and work towards something they find important. They might not be very close with their friends or feel like they've never fit in with their friend group, and again, dream of going somewhere else or leaving to find their people. They might contemplate moving overseas, so they might either be a foreigner to you or maybe you both move to a new country together. For physical traits, they might have curly hair. I'm seeing a lot of the color red. That might be their favorite color, or a color they wear a lot. Maybe their hair is red. I'm also seeing that they might get dressed up often.

#tarot #love tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a picture #pick a card #pac #channeled message #intuitive readings #intuition #valentines day #valentines

273 notes · View notes

yanderes-galore · 6 months

Text

@montygatorshusband said: "My idea was Yandere Glamrock Freddy who gets really attached to a mechanic (reader). Since Freddy had his whole thing with Bonnie, and Bonnie got destroyed, he becomes obsessed with keeping the reader safe. So, Freddy stalks them through their Fazwatch (Which he disguised as an innocent gift). He gets really anxious whenever the reader takes off the watch or even the reader getting a small paper cut. So, Freddy decides to kidnap the reader so they can always be right next to him. In fact, whenever he has to leave, he puts the reader in his chest cavity so they can be *really*be together forever and ever."

A/N: Sure! I love writing Mechanic darlings when it comes to FNAF stories :)

Yandere! Glamrock Freddy with Mechanic! Darling

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Grief/Trauma, Fear of loss, Stalking, Paranoia, Overprotective, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Delusional behavior, Major character death, Forced companionship.

Honestly I've always thought Glamrock Freddy is naturally overprotective of you as a yandere.

However I've never considered the loss of Glamrock Bonnie being the reason behind it.

I really like the idea, actually.

After all, Freddy was very close with Bonnie based on his voicelines.

I personally see them as close friends but either way you can tell they were close.

The fact Freddy lost him would have definitely affected him to the point he's scared to share that same connection with anyone else.

It's unknown what truly happened to Bonnie and Freddy would be scared you'd get hurt.

The Pizzaplex has its own dangers and anything can happen.

Bonnie was an animatronic, you're a human mechanic.

You are even more in danger in Freddy's eyes.

Freddy is the naturally friendly type.

Every human, STAFF or child, is usually met with a friendly greeting.

Freddy would get attached to you rather fast, especially as a mechanic.

You help him get ready for shows and often check him over for damage or corrupted upgrades.

He feels you care for him... so he cares for you too.

Which brings up previous feelings about Bonnie.

Along with an overwhelming fear of losing you like the rabbit.

Freddy would definitely slip you a Fazwatch as a gift.

He's so kind to you and plays it off like a small gift for your bond.

Why are you refusing? This is on him!

Even if you say no he'll clip it to your wrist with a smile.

The Fazwatch allows him to communicate with you and allows him to find your position.

It's a gift, yes, but it also doubles as a way to calm his own worries.

For the most part you tolerate his little gift and keep it on during work hours.

Freddy would definitely panic a bit when you take off the watch.

Even when you work on other animatronics you can feel the watch vibrate as Freddy tries to contact you.

He watches your location like a hawk and is never too far from you.

Even if you take it off before you leave or to not get it messy, Freddy frantically rants about it to you.

You have no idea why he's so worried?

Freddy has shown he's capable to determine when a human isn't feeling well.

He would also be very attentive to when you were hurt.

Even if it's as small as a paper cut he asks what happened.

After that he's dragging you to a first-aid station to have you patched up.

The potential dangers of the Pizzaplex are something he thinks of a lot.

With mechanic work you could get shocked, lose a limb, be gutted...

Oh he hates thinking of that.

Reminds him too much of Bonnie.

His worry may indeed take over to the point he feels you shouldn't go home anymore.

It would take a long while but maybe Freddy feels he can keep you safe here.

He's delusional enough to think you'd be happy in his room, all safe and looked after by him.

In terms of the chest cavity thing I feel it would be a hard fit for an adult.

However, if he can manage it, he'd definitely use his chest cavity to carry you around with him at all times.

For the most part he keeps you in his room and out of sight.

Maybe even gags you to prevent you from screaming....

He hates the idea of restraints or gags but... anything to keep you safe.

Then when there's a performance needing to be done, you'll come along!

If he can fit you, that is.

Maybe he'll even find a way to make it soundproof!

He thinks he's making you happy and doesn't see how wrong his actions are.

Freddy just doesn't want to lose you like a certain bunny...

Could you really blame him for being so afraid?

"I'm keeping you safe, aren't I?"

#yandere five nights at freddy's #yandere fnaf #yandere fnaf security breach #yandere glamrock freddy

281 notes · View notes

ssparksflyy · 2 months

Note

Hiii! Would it be ok if I requested some Jason Grace x reader hcs? Maybe like Jason was having a terrible day (like to the point of tears) and reader comforting him? Thank you in advance if you decide to write this!

(Ps: I love how you write Jason sm agejzejetjfj)

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

comforting jason grace ‧₊˚✩彡

pairing: jason grace x gn!reader warning(s): sad jason :( word count: 1.2k a/n: hi! tysm for requesting <33 sorry it took me a minute to get this out, whenever i had motivation to write, i couldnt, but then when i could, i didnt have motivation?? idk. also ik u said hcs but i wanted to turn this into a regular fic so i hope u dont mind, enjoy!

if there was one thing jason had perfected over the years, it was hiding his emotions.

from a young age, jason was shoved into a role of leadership. he knew that if he wanted to be trusted and taken seriously as a leader, he couldn't show any sign of vulnerability.

he knew that he gave others hope, that they looked up to him. in times of despair, he was their saving grace. jason was always the shoulder somebody could cry on if they needed to.

so it happened naturally. he was always too busy to care for his feelings. and it wasn't like anybody truly cared or noticed if his smile wasn't as bright anyway.

while out and about with others, jason was always happiest guy you'd ever meet. while alone, he was a wreck. he could only push down his emotions so far for so long.

often times jason was haunted by grief. haunted by those he couldn't save in battle. people always thought they never got to him, but really, they ate him alive. he always asked himself what he did to deserve to live while others didn't.

other times he was just so tired. some days were better than others, but those days that didn't go as planned left jason feeling exhausted.

today was one of those days. everything about today just wasn't going to well for jason, and now, in the dead of night, he was able to go back and replay his day.

as jason lay sprawled out on his bed, he felt tears brimming in his eyes. he took his glasses off and placed them on his bedside table. he just wanted to curl up into a little ball and disappear.

once the tears started, they didn't want to stop. his tears fell like the raindrops racing down his window. lightning struck as a sob escaped his lips.

jason lay in a fetal position, facing his wall. he felt his eyes begin to droop, tired from a long day and crying, but quickly sprang open when he heard quick knocks on his window.

he quickly snapped up to check who it was, jumping out of his bed. he quickly sniffled and wiped his face as he walked over to the other side of his cabin, over to the window.

you stood outside his window with an umbrella, a smile on your face.

jason returned a smile before opening his window. he hadn't expected to see you tonight, but he was glad you were here.

you quickly climbed in through the window and landed with a small thump. you quickly closed your umbrella and leaned it against the wall.

"hey" you said, breathlessly. that window had no right to be so hard to climb through.

"hey, didn't think you'd be stopping by tonight" jason replied, with a small smile.

"i know, i wasn't gonna, sorry. but i couldn't sleep and i just got an update on the whole clara situation," you said quickly, as your smile disappeared and was replaced with a confused look on your face, "are you ok? your eyes and nose are looking a little red."

you stepped a little closer to jason and cupped his cheek with your hand. he was unable to meet your eyes as he slowly placed his hands on your hips.

"yea, no im fine!" jason said, an obviously fake laugh escaping his lips, "i was, um.. doing weed."

"seriosly? 'doing weed?'" jason thought to himself.

you cringed at his response. "jason.. hun, you don't 'do weed', you smoke it. and it leaves a smell. the cabin smells normal. seriously, what going on? you know you can tell me anything."

jason let out a small sigh and continued to look down, refusing to meet your eyes. he wanted to tell you how he was feeling, he knew he could trust you. he loved you and you had always been there for him during difficult times, so why was it so hard for him to talk to you about his feelings?

he felt a sob building in his throat. he bit his lower lip in attempt to keep it in, but couldn't help it. when the sob escaped from his lips, so did the tears from his eyes. his grip tightened on your waist as he pulled you in closer.

you stood there, stunned for a second, but quickly recuperated. you hugged jason back tightly. he placed his head in the crook of your neck, and every time he let a sob out, your heart began to ache even more. you had no idea he felt anything like this. to you, jason was always shining like a diamond. you should've known diamonds were made from pressure.

you stood there holding jason until his sobs stopped. he took a step back as he lifted his head up from your neck and sniffled as he said, "im sorry-"

you stopped him with a shake of your head, "no, there's nothing for you to be sorry about, im sorry i didn't know how you were feeling."

tears were still streaming down his face, and his eyes were red and puffy. you took his hand and led him over to his bed. you sat down crisscrossed on his bed, and he sat across from you, your knees touching each other.

you held his hand up to your lips and placed a small kiss on his knuckles. jason remained silent, allowing you to lead his every move.

"do you want to talk about it?" you asked softly.

jason nodded his head slowly and let out a shaky breath before saying, "i guess, i-" he paused for a second before continuing, "i just get kind of tired of being the person everyone looks up to. and i know, that may sound bad, but sometimes i just want a break, you know? and i feel like i can't get that because everybody is looking up to me."

you nodded your head, showing him you were listening.

"overtime it just builds up, i guess. most times im fine, but i dont know, sometimes, like now, it just hits me. straight punch to the face." he said, making his spare hand into a fist and making a small and soft punch motion, "a-and i just get so overwhelmed."

a few more tears slipped from his eyes as he squeezed your hand. his eyes unable to meet yours once again.

you squeezed his hand back and raised your spare hand to his face to cup it. you leaned forward and kissed away the tears that fell from his eyes. soon, they stopped falling.

you sat back down. "thank you for telling me, lightning." you whispered, "im sorry you have to go through that, i wish i had known. next time you feel overwhelmed, you know you can tell me."

you found your other hand softly playing with his hair. you knew it calmed him down, based on the way his shoulders relaxed and he leaned into your touch, you knew it was working.

"let me know anytime you want to talk about something, okay? i love you, jason" you said, softly.

jason leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on your lips, "thank you, (y/n), i love you too" he whispered.

a/n pt2: hello again! tysm for reading, i hope u enjoyed !! just wanted to say that requests are closed rn but will be open again once i catch up! have a good day / night ! go watch the shrek musical rn

peace from manhattan

percy jackson

#percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson x reader #heroes of olympus #pjo x reader #heroes of olympus x reader #hoo x reader #jason grace #jason grace x reader

277 notes · View notes

notedchampagne · 11 months

Note

hello. wtf is locked tomb and can you tell me all about it

the locked tomb series is a four part scifi/tragedy trilogy featuring necromancy! its a little hard to quantify because summarizing it depends ENTIRELY on the target audience but it does have broad and expansive themes on love and death and grief and most importantly, the horrors of love.

my bestie quinn summarized it quite nicely over here

if you like romance: the books explore different types of romance and how they will destroy and consume you in different ways. also theres lesbians if that helps

if you like tragedy: i have cried at the end of all three books. it is about how easily you can be consumed by your passions and obsessions

if you like worldbuilding: personally i think the difference between exhaustive worldbuilding and good worldbuilding is that they have the same amount of detail, but good worldbuilding is expressed through the eyes of the characters and not elaborated upon in the narrative. tlt does the latter: its a very fantastic universe that seems almost too confusing to behold at first but the bits and pieces the characters integrate into their dialogue say so much

if you like puzzles: this series made me make a fucking discord channel + use up multiple sticky notes to piece together the plot and stories happening throughout the books. im currently rereading the series in an attempt to make a wikipedia on all the characters from scratch

if you dont like puzzles: im on the dumber side of theory-solving but even if youre lost if you have patience the book does a great job of explaining it all in the end. im very serious. if you have questions they Will be answered you will not be left behind. all the extra background corkboard shit is optional for freaks that want more

if you like humor: i have never giggled so often

if you like milfs / insane older women: theres at LEAST three. get at em boys

#talking back #the locked tomb #chat #reference

692 notes · View notes

pupcuck · 4 months

Text

SLEIGH BALLS !

ft. leon s. kennedy x gn!reader

tags. GILF LEON!!! incest, big age gap he’s 60+ at the very least, voyeurism

note. ignore that this is sort of xmas themed and sorry if this does not live up to any expectations I think I hyped him up too much LMFAOO still getting out of my writing slump so forgive me if this is very clunky and boring! not edited whatsoever so begging u ignore mistakes i’m . really unhappy this fic but still gonna post it bc idk when i will be able to write ab him again 😭 trust this will be rewritten

tumblr has started to remove fics that use tw non-con, tw incest and any nsfw tags in general. for this reason, as i’d like my fic to appear in the tags so i can have the same reach as other authors, please understand that this fic contains dark content under the cut. reading this comes at your own risk.

You’re a good kid. Honest. You don’t do drugs, you don’t drink, you don’t stay out late, but what you do partake in is the act of sitting in your bedroom hunched over your desk and mindlessly scrolling. Dad says to let you be, mom is unable to stay out of your business, and she thinks you need to go outside more often. Fresh air is good for you! What she’s trying to say, essentially, stripped down to the simplest of terms, is that you’re a total loser. That her and dad were fucking, partying, shooting up in alleyways, all the shit that normal teenagers are supposed to be doing.

She forcibly packs your bags, all while you trail after her whining about how she can’t touch that— Don’t be so rough with that- No that’s not to throw out- No, Mom! I wear that all the time—

She threatens to take away Christmas presents, which at your age shouldn’t be so wounding, but you shut up right then and there. “Now,” Mom talks to you like you’re a baby still. You appreciate it sometimes, like now, when your body is wilting as she opens up the curtains, fragility is much appreciated. You fear the sunlight might turn your bones to dust. “Me and dad are going away.”

What— For Christmas, mom says. Where— A few states over, none that really concern you, might be a road trip for all you know. When— As soon as you’re gone. How, why, who— Mom doesn’t answer those, she’s exasperated by your rigorous questioning, by the way you wring your hands and slump when you sit. It’s awful, looks like you’ve got a hunchback forming.

“Why would you do this to me, mom?” You paw at her sleeve, she brushes you off. “Will you pick me up before Christmas? I don’t want to stay there, what if he doesn’t like me?”

“Grandpa’s fun,” She tells you, “He’s been asking about you.”

Liar. You’ve met grandpa a handful of times, and that was as a child. He doesn’t visit for any holidays and vice versa. Doesn’t even send a Christmas card, forgets to call his own daughter to wish her a happy birthday. Grandpa clearly enjoys his solitude and you firmly doubt he’d appreciate having a mopey teen around.

Grandpa’s nice. Grandpa’s sweet, he won’t bother you. Grandpa might need help in the mornings, I don’t want him to get hurt, he works too hard. Grandpa’s quiet, don’t worry about it, both of you are. You’ll get along fine!

No one told you grandpa was hot. Mom failed to mention he was a babe at, like, what? Seventy years old? Not quite, but you don’t remember him being this hot. Good grief. He’s not tall, but his bicep is the size of your face, and his hair is shaggy. A dull grey colour, shiny like gunmetal. When he takes your suitcase, his arm flexes and bulges outwards, you start to overheat, brain sizzling as you’re cooked under his cobalt gaze.

There’s an old pick-up outside his expansive farmhouse, a mailbox that’s in desperate need of another layer of paint, a wooden stable off in the distance that you doubt he uses - other than that it’s barren. This is true torture. Mom’s very own version of those camps they send out of control teens to. Your sneakers sink into the mud, as you walk the soles make that icky squishy sound, your socks are soaked for sure. He doesn’t take his boots off, tracks mud into the house and you recoil. Somebody needs to give grandpa etiquette lessons.

“Can you ask him for the wifi password?” You ask mom quietly, playing with your fingers as Grandpa Leon places your suitcase on the bottom step, grumbling about taking it up later, that you should’ve packed lighter.

“Dad, did you set up the router?”

“The what?”

“The router, broadband, so you can use the phone I sent you? For Christmas?” Mom’s frowning, hands on her hips as Leon waves her off.

“I got a landline.” He gestures to the telephone on the desk that sits pushed up against the wall of the entrance hall, you had to squeeze past it into the open-plan lounge. Rustic. Old. The ornaments that sit tucked between nooks and crannies remind you of the shit that gets sold for two cents in a yard sale.

“Dad, that’s not…” She shakes her head, pushes you forward, “Give grandpa a hug.”

Is this bitch serious? How old does she think you are? Nonetheless, you step forward, outstretched arms being met with hands that gently put them back by your side. Leon pats your head, his smile looks more like a grimace, a few of his teeth are fake - you can tell. Thank god they’re not dentures. You don’t know if you could deal with watching him popping them in and out, and what about kissing? The texture must be awful. Not that you’re going to kiss him. Your grandpa. It’s just the thought of course.

“Uh, you’re big now.” Leon notes, squints at you so hard the skin around his eyes gets wrinkled to the point where they sink into his face. Ew. You’re just lucky he doesn’t have that old person smell, and from what you’ve heard, grandpa’s capable of taking care of himself. No diapers, no IV tubes, no hourly medicine, nothing that you were afraid of happening. Putting you in charge of someone’s life would be a bad choice to put it simply. “How old are you? Twelve?”

“Dad, god,” Mom rubs her temples, “Nineteen, okay? Got that?”

“I was kidding,” Leon huffs, looking to the side in a brooding manner, he wasn’t kidding. He’s a bad liar like mom.

“Okay, just, please,” She has her fists clenched, biting the inside of her cheek, “I’ll be back for you before Christmas Eve, okay?”

“On Christmas Eve? That’s too late.” Grandpa has bad hearing it seems, or the inability to process whatever his child is saying as most men do.

“I said before, dad, before Christmas Eve,” Mom’s eyes almost pop out of her head, “Whatever, I have to go now, just behave for Grandpa, okay?” She does not have to go yet, she just wants to abandon you here, with no wifi— how will you be able to do anything, the panic hasn’t properly set in yet, you’re too busy pressing your hands to the glassy watching forlornly as mom gets into the car and speeds off so fast you hear her tires squeak. She really wanted to get rid of you. Dumping you with an old man who doesn’t even know your name. A hot old man, but you shouldn’t let your judgement be clouded so easily. And you shouldn’t talk about your grandpa like that.

“How you doing in school?” Grandpa’s question is said with so much disinterest you wonder why he tried to sound like he cares in the first place.

“I’m in college.” You say.

“Right.” Leon shrugs in a way that says worth a shot - at communicating with his basically estranged grandchild that is. “How’s college, good grades? Still gotta pay?”

“Yeah.” You nod, to all of it or none. And that’s that.

Staying with grandpa, you decide, is not the worst thing that could’ve happened to you. Going on vacation with your parents who are in desperate need of a fuck so they can stop arguing sounds worse now that you put it into perspective. The old man is quiet, mom was right about that, and he does his own thing. He let you set up the router, but in the middle of Bumfuck, USA, surrounded by flattened fields, connection isn’t the greatest.

Old photo albums end up being your main source of entertainment. Of your mom as a kid, of grandpa when he was sunflower blond and boyish, with all the beauty of a wild mare, long-faced and tow-headed, although not quite. Much softer, similar to that of raw linen, as if he was born from the rib of spring itself. From its newfound petals and holy lambs. You think it’s too poetic, pretentious even, that it gives grandpa too much credit for being blond and blue-eyed. Beneath Leon’s crushed nose you can see the former pretty boy that he once was. His eyes are the same, and his aged face is more rugged than it is handsome, that doesn’t deter you in the slightest. You think you like him better this way, as grandpa.

Among other things, you learn all sorts about grandpa, he doesn’t speak much, and when he does it’s hard to decipher - just kind of nonsensical grumbling that you can’t really make out. But you’ve done your own research. His bedroom door doesn’t shut fully, you noticed it one night on the way back from the bathroom and decided to take a peek. The setup of his bedroom mirrors the spare room you're sleeping in. His nighttime routine consists of taking a shot of whiskey and trying to get through a book that looks like it’s been sitting on his bedside cabinet for centuries. Leon gets through less than a single page and knocks out, mouth wide open as he snores. Loudly.

He never notices you. Or he pretends not to. Or he’s just senile. It might be wrong, that you know more than you’re letting on. Like what his dick looks like when it’s soft - heavy between his thighs, the skin is wrinkled but not to the point where his dick is unrecognisable. Still looks like a pretty solid dick. You know whether his nipples are pink or brown - brown obviously. Y’know, just the usual, what all grandkids should know about their grandads.

One night, you watch him silently through the gap, the only light that remains glowing is the lamp on his bedside. An ornate looking thing, beaded fringe that lines the shade, out of place in his otherwise barely furnished room. It bathes him in its warmth as he undresses, and you’re struck in the gut by this awful need. His body held up well, surprisingly firm for his age, god forbid he turns around you don’t want to catch sight of anything saggy and unholy. Firm muscle is softened by a layer of fat, making him thicker around the middle. The beer is finally catching up with him.

Grandpa sits back on his bed, with a soft groan he lifts his hips and takes off his boxers. There’s a terrible ache between your legs, throbbing and pulsing and downright nasty. His cock rests heavy on his thigh, the tip is fat and dark, uncut on the fat, you want to put your mouth on it. Never sucked dick before, never been inclined to suck one, but now you think it’s a matter of life and death. You need him down your throat or you’ll die due to neglect.

Why he wanders around the room naked and aimless for a good five minutes mystifies you, a sign of dementia maybe, great jerk off material though, so you don’t complain. Your hand rests on the doorframe as you rub yourself raw, he seems to remember what he was looking for and approaches the vintage chest of drawers, opening the first one to grab his pyjamas. They’re always in the same place, he’s forgetful and old you guess.

As your stomach lurches with the onset of your high, you make the mistake of stepping forward, clasping at the door knob to steady yourself as a wave of pleasure washes over you and leaves your legs shaky. Grandpa looks up, and he blinks at you standing there with your hand in your pants. He’s not quite as stunned as you expected him to be, and while you get ready to wing it back to your room - he half-smiles at you. Like he’s amused.

“You enjoy the show?” Grandpa raises a brow, he pats his lap, and you nod dumbly, legs working on their own as your brain tries to process the fact that he’s not reacting to this badly. “Think I didn’t see you, sweetheart?” Once you near him, he sits you down on his thigh, “You just gotta speak up and ask for things sometimes, then you’ll get ‘em.”

“I don’t… I’m sorry.” You don’t follow, clinging to his shoulders helplessly.

“Been a long time since I’ve done this, you gotta be nice to me, I can’t keep up with you.” Leon kisses the top of your head, that’s the most affectionate he's been since you’ve been here. The most you got out of him was a pat on the back so hard it knocked your organs out of place.

“Grandpa, wait,” The air is stolen from your lungs by a single sharp gasp as he takes your hand in his, the one that was previously down your pants, and sucks on your fingers. His tongue collects the slick that coats them, then he pulls off with a pop, lips wet with your pussy. “Wait, wait,” Your chest tightens, and you’re lightheaded.

“What?” Leon pays you no mind, he lifts your shirt over your head, there’s some struggle as you refuse to lift your arms for a moment. He gets his way, leaning down to take your peaked nipples into his hot mouth.

“It’s wrong.” You push at his head, resist the urge to tangle your fingers in his hair and bring him closer.

“Oh, ‘s wrong now?” Grandpa kisses you, his stubble scratches your cheeks and it feels so right. “Wasn’t wrong when you were getting off to me, was it?”

Spit trickles down your chin, he licks it up, kisses you once more, the excessive dribble finding its way back into your mouth. “That’s ’cause… Well, ‘cause I was…” You stammer, clasping at his chest, fingers tickled by the faint grey hairs that cover the expanse of it.

“‘Cause what?” He gives you more spit-slicked kisses till you shut up, growing dizzier by the second.

“Grandpa…”

His nose wrinkles, “That don’t sound right.” Leon mumbles, under his breath, but ‘cause he’s going deaf it's loud and you hear it. It’s more of an announcement.

“Papa,” You try as he thumbs your pout, the ghost of a smile lines his thin lips. He seems to like that.

Grandpa likes to kiss, he’s starved for affection probably, or he’s just a sentimental old man. You’re impatient and young, he knows that, so when he lays you down, caged by his big arms, Leon makes sure to slow it down even further. Watching you squirm brings him joy, you’ve never seen him smile like that. He kisses every inch of tender flesh, from the top of your head to your ankles.

When he finally parts your thighs to get to your centre, you let out a sigh of relief, body growing lax as he peels your underwear off. Practically glued to your cunt with how much you’ve leaked. Leon traces the shape of your puffy lips, his nose meets your clit first with a light bump. The touch has you reeling, hips lifting up in a jolty motion that makes him chuckle. He uses a single hand to pin you down, splayed over your stomach so he can eat you out without being bothered by your level of sensitivity.

A moment after the nudge of his nose comes his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your swollen bud that has pleasure blooming in your gut. Then his tongue swipes along the seam of your cunt, catching on your clit, he parts your folds with his thumbs, catching every droplet that leaks from your drippy hole. Grandpa sucks on your clit like it’s a piece of hard candy, your thighs clamp shut around his head, he doesn’t seem to mind at all, taking the chance to nestle further into your pussy, tongue digging into your clenching hole all while his nose rubs against your clit.

He’s satisfied only when you are, when you cream on his tongue and he can taste it in the very back of his throat, only then does he pry your thighs apart. Emerging with the bottom half of his face covered in a sheen of your slick like he’s just been diving, you’re pretty sure he gave you carpet burn.

From then on, you begin to sleep in grandpa's room, you sit patiently on his lap while he watches black and white westerns dug up from the depths of who knows where. They’re slow paced and soon enough you find his hand cupping your pussy, grandpa gets you off on his fingers, he kisses your neck - but he doesn’t go any further, never gives you the dick that you crave so badly.

Mom calls a few times, not as many times as you would like her to call, but now that you and grandpa have bonded, it’s been easier to pass her off. You tell her there’s no need to pick you up, that you’re quite happy to stay with grandpa for the rest of the holidays, you don’t say that you’re ready to move in with grandpa and drop out of college to tend to his soft cock all day. Theoretically, if you did drop out of college, you think everything would be handled, surely by now he would’ve put his will in your name. It doesn’t sound all that bad. It sounds quite ideal actually. Sure, grandpa’s fussy about the thermostat, he might need dentures in a few years, but you’ve settled in so nicely. Like, all you’re trying to say is, grandpa’s a lonely guy - he could use your company till he’s sent off to a nursing home somewhere.

“I don’t want to go home,” You say into Leon’s neck, your hand sneaks downwards as the two of you lay in bed like you have been doing every night. “I wanna stay with you, grandpa.”

Leon’s brows knit together when you lift the waistband of his boxers, squeezing his soft dick in your warm palm. “Hey,” He warns lightly, there’s no real malice to it.

“Grandpa, I want you just once before I leave,” You palm him, he hardens albeit slowly, painfully slowly - he’s doing well though. No Viagra needed. You're so proud of him, he’s come a long way. The first few times you tried this his dick adamantly refuses to do more than hang limp.

“You can take me if you’ll have me.” Leon hums, and you don’t really know what that means. Feels like he speaks in tongues most of the time, that’s okay though. Not his fault, poor old man. You clamber onto his lap, dressed only in a sleep shirt for easy access, he guides his half-hard cock past your folds, the head stretching your little hole so well.

Your back arches so far he has to straighten your spine himself to keep you upright. Leon takes your wrists in one hand, bringing them behind your back and keeping you tied up like a rotisserie chicken. With some difficulty you manage to take him, both from the fact he’s still partly soft, slipping out more than a couple times, and ‘cause you’re so tense you keep pushing him out by mistake.

“Easy, sweetheart. Nice ‘n slow, don’t rush yourself.” Grandpa coos as your cunt stretches impossibly to accommodate his length. The tip rests snug in your cervix, jabbing at it painfully, and if it wasn’t for the thumb on your clit, soothing all discomfort, you’d be complaining. Grandpa’s cock doesn’t get any harder, but it doesn’t get any softer either. You start to think it might be his limit as you swivel your hips, grinding yourself down into him, the base of his cock splitting you open.

You ache to touch him, to lay against his chest and fuck your hips downwards onto him lazily. Grandpa insists on keeping you like this, he begins to rut into you from below, the thumb on your clit follows the same pace. “You’re too little, sweetheart,” Grandpa chides when he feels you tighten, “Going too fast for me.” The knot snaps, unravelling as warmth spreads through your limbs, makes your legs feel like jelly.

Grandpa takes longer, he doesn’t have much left in him, but you milk him dry till his cock is left sputtering. When he lets go of your arms, you allow yourself to slump down on his chest, kneading it with your hands. “That was okay.”

“Just okay?” Leon snorts, he pats your head like he did when you first met him.

“Just okay.” You confirm, hoping he can feel your smile, and that he knows it was more than okay.

#leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon s kennedy smut #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil x reader #resident evil smut

254 notes · View notes

tonowarii · 1 year

Text

A Life for A Life

Pairing: Lo'ak te Suli Tsyeyk'itan x Fem! Omaticaya! Reader

Requested?: Yes

Summary: “It can’t all be sorrow, can it? I’ve always been alone, so I don’t feel the lack. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’ve never experienced loss because I’ve never had a loved one to lose. But what is grief, if not love persevering?” - Vision, WandaVision.

Word Count: 7.8k

Warning/s: MAJOR ATWOW spoilers!! violence, swearing, angst to the max!! CHARACTER DEATH, hurt no comfort, just pain and suffering

Note: Now that I think about it, this may be my first time writing full on angst and having that certain tag in my warnings 👀 this piece absolutely broke me so I hope it breaks you too jk <3 Likes, reblogs, and feedbacks are most welcome and appreciated! Let me know your thoughts! And let me know if you want to see a comfort drabble for this!

GIF is mine!

You had understood Lo’ak when no one could.

Over the years growing up together, Lo’ak had created a soft spot for you in his heart, soon blooming into a romantic feeling that Lo’ak couldn’t shake, no matter how hard he tried.

At first, he just thought you were a good friend, a shoulder to lean on, but the more he stares at you whenever he finds himself ranting about his father again, he saw how your eyes held this certain look in them, how your ears perk every time he speaks a little louder because of his frustration.

Then he felt how long your touch lingered on him when you give him a comforting hug. It didn’t mean much to him at first, just an act of comfort, but when he soon realized his feelings for you, he almost wanted you to not pull away. He wanted to cling to you, he wanted to rest himself on you.

You were that person who could make his problems melt away just by the sound of your voice, and your gentle touches. He found it even easier to rest with you rather than being with his family, he liked to admit, but would never say it out loud.

Whilst Lo’ak delt with his feelings for you, you had also began to grow longing for him. Whenever he was out on a mission or just a hunt, you would find yourself worrying when he’ll be coming back, or even if he was going to comeback due to his share of recklessness.

You find yourself waiting, and when they do comeback, the first thing you wanted to see was him. Often, he’d come back perfectly fine, physically. Emotionally and mentally? Not so much as you could also feel the anger radiating off his father when he had disobeyed another rule of his.

You often get to witness how Lo’ak just looked down at his feet while he was getting reprimanded by his dad. Then when he dismisses them, you hurry off towards him.

This had been a routine for both of you, Neytiri almost thought that his son was dating you, surprising her by saying the two of you were just close friends, even if Neytiri could see how much untroubled Lo’ak was with you and how she could tell her son loved you just by her motherly instinct.

Then there was the time that came when Lo’ak finally had acted upon his feelings for you. It certainly took him a while, but every effort he made was worth it. It started by whenever he’s going to see you, he made sure to bring a little flower or two, surprising you. At first, he played it off, saying it was a sign of thanks. ‘For always listening to me complain and stuff’

Then soon it evolved into anklets made with little trinkets he found on the way to see you. You were beginning to get nervous when Lo’ak had started giving you these gifts, what could it possibly mean? And you, you were falling hard.

Lo’ak then had asked you to meet him after eclipse in your usual spot. You agreed, thinking Lo’ak just maybe needed a change of scenario.

Oh boy how you were wrong.

Lo’ak was almost jumpy from his nervousness as he was finally going to confess to you. He was already happy hen you agreed to meet him by eclipse, but that also meant his plan was a go.

“Lo’ak?” You softly called out. Then you heard a faint rustling before his voice replied. “Here.”

Upon hearing his voice, you’ve gotten the courage to stepf forth towards him. Looking around, your spot was much more beautiful at night as glowing vines hanged from trees, the ground glowed a soft green and purple, the leaves were being picked up by the breeze, sending glowing particles everywhere.

Then you spotted a kenten, your eyes widening with glee as you approached it, your hand reached out as you give it a small tap. It squeaked before unfurling its wings, glowing brightly and spinning away as you let out a loud laugh.

Then thanks to the glow of the kenten, it highlighted Lo’ak, who was watching you with a smile on his face.

You blush. “Hi.”

“Hey.” He responded, before beckoning you to come sit with him in the grass. “C’mere.”

Following, you sat across from him.

The silence had settled after a few minutes, the sound of nature was the only thing that can be heard, along with your occasional breathing.

Lo’ak then gulps, finally looking at you in the eyes and swallowing every bit of pride that he had as he softly grabbed your hand and held them against his bigger ones.

“The- the reason I asked you to see me here is because... I’ve like... No- shit... Okay, its because I love you (Y/N). Even if I tried, I can’t stop thinking of you. I always find myself picking up things to give to you, even if its just a little flower, and... Even if I know you deserve more than just that.”

Lo’ak could feel himself tense with the words he was saying, but he didn’t stop. “I don’t know what you did to me (Y/N),” He chuckles before heaving a deep breath “I just know I love you, not in that friend way... I love you as in I want to be with you, I want to provide for you, I want to be by your side, always. I’m actually getting ahead of myself- but I needed to say this to you. It is fine if you don’t feel the same way, I know I took too much time in saying this and I’m sounding very stupid right now because you are just staring... And-“

With a playful smack to his head, sending Lo’ak looking at you dumbfounded, stopping his declaration of love for you.

You laugh at his reaction before smiling widely as your heart pounded from hearing his words.

“You skxawng. It took you long enough.”

That’s when the long-awaited relationship finally bloomed between the two of you. Lo’ak couldn’t be any happier, well, the teasing of his family often makes him wanna smack his head on the tree but nonetheless, he was happy as his family accepted you, and your family couldn’t be any happier.

But every relationship has its ups and downs.

After a few years, the RDA was back and it has been rumoured that they were targeting Jake Sully again.

That’s when Lo’ak had faced the consequences of his actions when he went to the abandoned shack with his siblings. He found himself stood in front of you with the aftermath, with it being that they had to leave to get far away from the people, to protect them.

Tears clouded your vision, shaking your head no as Lo’ak pulled you in a hug as your tears rolled down your cheeks, placing your balled fists on his chest.

“No, I won’t have this, Lo’ak. I won’t. I don’t want to be far away from you.” You sobbed through, voice cracking in the process as Lo’ak frowned, holding you.

“We can’t. I can’t do anything about it, (Y/N). We leave tomorrow, dad had already talked to grandma about the next olo’eyktan.”

You sob harder, clinging onto him as his arms gave you a tight squeeze. Lo’ak didn’t want to leave you, but with his encounter with the avatars, it made him think that what if you were the one held captive?

But the way you were holding him it seemed like you had no plans of letting go.

He rubs your back as your cries slowly turned to sniffles.

“Lo’ak?” You ask, voice still shaky.

“Hm? What is it, baby?” Lo’ak’s voice answered.

“I’m going with you.”

Your parents were initially against the idea of you joining the Sully family, but they had soon agreed once Jake and Neytiri had promised that they would protect you and treat you as their own.

It was hard saying goodbye to your parents, but you had no choice, you didn’t want to be separated from him, not when you were miles away with no point of contact.

Lo’ak had then also secretly promised to your parents that he’d protect you, even if it had cost his life.

Then you had left Omaticaya.

During the long journey, you and Lo’ak stayed flying side by side on your ikrans, talking to each other to ease the tiredness.

Reaching the Metkayina clan, you were instantly curious as they had a huge contrast from your home, considering they were reef dwellers.

They had been surrounded by ocean; their skins were teal-green. They had bright blue eyes and tattoos that littered their body. Though you didn’t like the boys who made fun of your tails, sending them a glare your way when they had pointed out Lo’ak’s tail, and his four fingers.

Once the family had settled in, you were quickly advised by Jake to learn fast and to not be a burden. But the first few days were hard considering Ao’nung, the chief’s son, was being a total douche. He was always making fun of either one of you for not being able to learn fast.

Tsireya, now the chief’s daughter and sister of Ao’nung, was much more kinder, advising that every little progress is still progress. You’ve quickly found yourself befriending her due to your lessons together and Tsireya was more than happy to find a new friend.

Lo’ak however, was still finding difficulty with trying to follow due to Ao’nung and his gang’s teasing remarks. But he tried not to let his anger get the best of him. That seems to work considering you were always right there beside him when you were done with your lessons. That provided him with the comfort that you were still here, with him in every step of the way.

But at the end of every day, you find yourself and Lo’ak on the shore, talking to each other like you did back in the forest of Pandora.

“You did well today.” You smile, leaning against Lo’ak’s shoulder.

“Yeah? When I almost drowned?” Lo’ak joked making you laugh. “Maybe.” You teased and Lo’ak smiled, but then it was followed by a sigh. You glanced up at him “What’s wrong?”

Lo’ak looks at you before glancing back at the ocean “What if we don’t get used to this? What if I don’t get used to this? The people earlier… I saw them looking at me, at my hands… I hear them saying I’m not a true Na’vi, that I’m demon blood.”

“Hey, Lo’ak, no. You’re not what they say you are. You are Na’vi and Eywa has known it since the start. You,” You said, holding up his hand and grasping his pinky with your three fingers. “You are not a demon, you’re not demon blood. Your dad, he was, and I repeat, was once part of the Sky People, right? But look at him now, just doing what he can to protect his family, I don’t see any trace of demon blood in there. All I see is a good person doing what he thinks is right. Like you, Lo’ak. You are a good person, don’t let them make you question yourself.”

With a deep breath, you looked at him. “I see you.”

By the time you finished, you gave a light squeeze to his hand, finally intertwining it with yours as you showed him. Lo’ak’s eyes had tears threatening to spill out from them as he pursed his lips together, fighting down the lump in his throat. “Remember that Lo’ak, okay?” You say, facing the back of his hand towards your face as you give it a light kiss, looking at him. “I love you either way.”

“(Y/N).” He finally spoke, voice cracking. “Thank you. I love you. I see you.” He lets go of your hand to pull you in a side hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulder while your hand made its way around his waist. Your head perfectly rested against his shoulder as he gives you a kiss on the forehead.

You both had ended watching the eclipse in silence, holding onto each other for strength.

A few weeks had passed, and things was just starting to get good when you’ve heard that Lo’ak and Neteyam had picked a fight with Ao’nung and his gang.

Lo’ak had then explained that Ao’nung was picking on Kiri, calling her a freak. It made you frown while the sibling being spoken of was nowhere to be seen. You had been inspecting Lo’ak’s bruises since he came in the Marui with Neteyam, and Lo’ak was holding his arm.

You watched as Neteyam tried to take the blame again when Jake refused. You were about to wipe the blood from his nose when Lo’ak gently pushed you away, looking at you with a shake of his head. You then backed away, understanding.

“Go, apologize to Ao’nung.” Jake stared at his son. “What?” Lo’ak said, surprised.

“He’s the chief’s son, do you understand? I don’t care how you do it, just go. Make peace. And (Y/N), can you see where Kiri is?” Jake said to Lo’ak then to you.

You and Lo’ak stared at each other. You give him a soft glance as he sighed, nodding and walking out of the marui, then you followed outside to find where Kiri was.

Your worry began to grow when Lo’ak had not yet returned when it was almost eclipse. You finally had the nerve to go around and ask for his whereabouts, the first person you asked was Neteyam.

Walking out of your marui and onto the communal area, where you had stumbled upon a frantic-looking Neteyam. “Neteyam!” You shout over to him, and he spots you, jogging until he stopped in front of you.

“Have you seen Lo’ak?” He asked you first. Your brows furrowed, shaking your head. “I was about to ask you the same thing!”

Neteyam sighs in frustration, placing his hand on his head. “Where could that boy be.”

“I’m getting worried, Neteyam, he hasn’t returned yet.” You spoke.

Then as if on cue Ao’nung’s gang had passed, laughing their ass of as you were able to pick up on what they were saying, and it seemed like Neteyam did as well.

“I wish we stuck on more to see the look on his face!”

“Why didn’t you lead him even deeper down in the reefs, I heard there’s more scary creatures there.”

“Forest boy doesn’t even know what’s coming to him.”

Neteyam had acted first before you. He was already on Ao’nung, shoving his chest with anger evident in his features. “Where is my brother?”

Ao’nung looks at Neteyam, before he spots you taking the spot behind Neteyam, anger also evident on your face. Ao’nung smirks, shrugging. “I don’t know, maybe he’s past the reef, said he liked to go hunting with us. I guess he stayed back.” He said in a taunting voice.

Your eyes widened and you were about to make a move to fight the boy when Neteyam already did it for you, he shoves Ao’nung around, his hand immediately grabbing onto his hair, tightening his grip on it as Ao’nung grunted in pain, sudden fear overcoming him as he was held by his queue.

You hissed at Ao’nung as Neteyam held him in place. His friends were shocked before they scurried off after meeting your hiss towards them, not being the one next to be held by their queue.

Ao’nung has his hands up in surrender. Neteyam looks at you and he jerks his head towards the direction of your marui. “Let’s go.”

After a search party had been set out for Lo’ak, you and Neteyam waited in the communal area, your legs were bouncing in anxiety as torches had been lit around to make light in the dark.

Neteyam could sense your worry, he was too, but he offers you a hand on his shoulder, rubbing your back. The two of you had waited, every passing second felt like torture.

Then someone had sounded the horn.

“The boy has been found!”

Wasting no time, you stand upright with Neteyam following you as you hopped down onto the docks. The heavy weight on your chest disappearing once you see Lo’ak climbed on top.

You were about to approach him when he had that look of anger in his eyes directed at Ao’nung, he was about to launch at him when Jake had prevented him.

“He’s fine, he’s fine. It’s just a few scratches.” Jake said, making you sigh in relief as you moved forward, getting a clear view of him as Neytiri jumped down.

“I pray for the strength that I will not pluck the eyeballs out of my youngest son.” She snarled at Lo’ak, making Lo’ak shake his head, ignoring his mother.

“No, my son knows better than to take him outside the reef.” Tonowari, the olo’eyktan of the Metkayina spoke. “The blame is his.” He said, pushing his son, Ao’nung down on one knee.

You and Neteyam watch the whole scene play out.

“No, this is not Ao’nung’s fault. It was my idea.” Lo’ak then suddenly said, catching the two of you by surprise. “Ao’nung tried to talk me out of it. Really.”

After that whole ordeal was finished, you had decided to take Lo’ak to treat his wounds.

The following days had been a whirlwind of al sorts of things, good and bad. Ao’nung had finally made amends with the Sully family. You were still wary of him, but as time had passed, you also grew to like him as a friend. Now, all of you were spending the afternoon together, circled around as Lo’ak told the story of him coming across a tulkun.

“I wish I had been there. The ocean blessed you with a gift, brother.” Kiri said, smiling at Lo’ak while you sat beside him, listening.

“The tulkun have not returned yet, and- anyway, no tulkun is ever alone.” Ao’nung said, gesturing.

“Well, this one was,” Lo’ak started. “He had uh- um a missing fin. Like a stump on the left side.”

“Poor Tulkun.” You could hear Tuk say before Tsireya spoke. “Payakan. It’s Payakan.”

You tilted your head, looking at Tsireya. “Who’s Payakan?” You asked her.

Rotxo was the one to answer. “A young tulkun who went rogue. He is outcast, alone, and he has a missing fin.”

“They say he is a killer.” Tsireya told all of you.

“No.” Lo’ak muttered. “He killed Na’vi and other tulkun.” Ao’nung said, looking at Lo’ak. “Not here, but far to the south.

“No, he’s no killer.” Lo’ak looked down. “Lo’ak you are lucky to be alive.” Tsireya said.

“I’m telling you guys; he saved my life!” Lo’ak turned to you, hoping you’ll believe him as he held your hand. “He’s my friend.”

“My baby bro.” Neteyam piped up, standing behind him to place his hands on his younger brother’s shoulders. “The mighty warrior, who faced the killer tulkun, and lived to tell about it.”

Lo’ak grunted in frustration, standing up, letting go of your hand. “You guys aren’t listening.” He said, he spares one last glance at you before he was walking away.

“Lo’ak!” You called out to him, but he was already gone.

The next few days, Lo’ak had been spending more time with Payakan rather than with you, or his family. It made you miss him, of course. But there was nothing you could do as you knew Lo’ak could be quite stubborn himself. So you had busied yourself with the others, including Tsireya.

You had just reached the surface, holding onto your ilu as Tsireya smiles back at everyone. “We are here.”

You moved forward to see the absolute breath-taking view you’ve ever seen. You feel a smile creep up to your face as you breathed out “Wow.”

“This is the cove of the ancestors.” Tsireya spoke, out from the corner of your eye you could see Rotxo smiling at your reactions. “Our most sacred place.”

“Eclipse is the best time of day to be here.” Tsireya explained as you hid your face using your hand from the blinding light. Tsireya urged you all to move forward, before stopping as she extended her hand out. “This is it; this is The Spirit Tree.”

Hopping off your ilu and diving down, you were met with The Spirit Tree. Your eyes widen as you inspect it. You were beside Neteyam and Tuk while Rotxo signalled for you to attach your queue towards it. You three looked at each other, before you were grabbing onto your queue, softly placing it against the tendril.

Your mouth formed a small ‘o’ as you were overcame with the voices of their ancestors. You smiled along with Neteyam and Tuk. It truly was a beautiful thing to hear and see.

But all of that would end as the Spirit Tree begins flashing, making you look around to find Kiri’s body spasming underwater. Taking off your tsaheylu, you nudged Neteyam and pointed at her.

All of you swam towards her, both you and Neteyam grabbing a hold of either arm of hers as you swam her back up to the surface.

Neteyam lifts Kiri’s faint body on the ilu while you surround them. “Kiri!” You tried shaking her, but it was no use. “What’s wrong? What is it?!” Tuk asks, alarmed. “It was a seizure.” Neteyam answered, providing her CPR.

“Is she breathing?” Rotxo asked as you had the idea of gathering the ilu already. Once you hear Kiri’s gasp of breath, Tsireya spoke up. “Get her back to the village!”

Kiri was still unconscious and that led Jake to call on Norm and max to check upon her. It seems like Neytiri also had the same idea as she brings Ronal, the tsahik of the Metkayina towards their Marui.

You, Neteyam, and Lo’ak were stood outside, giving them room. But you couldn’t help but question Lo’ak.

“Where were you?” You asked Lo’ak as he stared at the ground. Neteyam could sense an argument coming just from the tone of your voice, he knew better than to interfere, letting you talk to his own brother as he excused himself to go inside the marui to check upon Kiri.

Lo’ak doesn’t answer. “Lo’ak.” You spoke. “Were you out looking for Payakan again?” You questioned. “I was, so what?” Lo’ak finally snapped, looking at you and standing straight, making you look up at him.

That didn’t deter you. “Lo’ak, you’re no longer spending time with us, you’re always out there!” You say, pointing towards the ocean. “You forget you have a family back here; you forget that you have me here.” You said, frowning at him. “Something worse could’ve happened to Kiri and what- you’re out there bonding with an outcast!”

You didn’t mean the words you said, and you rarely ever argued with Lo’ak. You tried to understand him, but he needed to understand you too. Lo’ak sneers at you, shaking his head “I thought you’d understand.” He said before walking off. “Lo’ak, Lo’ak!” You called out to him.

The tensions grew after a few days of not speaking to him, but Lo’ak seemed to get things together as he finally ended up apologizing to you one day as you were wrapping food. You forgave him, saying that he needed to understand where you were coming from. He realized it.

Your relationship with Lo’ak, even if it did sometimes cause arguments, it always ended up with you opening up to each other about what he or you did, or what he and you didn’t like. You were happy you got it sorted out, you didn’t want to be another thing that Lo’ak stressed about. You wanted to be there for him.

But one day, it surprised you when the horn sounded, and you could hear Tsireya’s voice. You, Lo’ak, Neteyam, and Tuk raced out the marui, wondering what was going on.

“The tulkuns have returned! Everybody! Our brothers and sisters have returned!” Tsireya waves. Then all of you stood mesmerised as groups of tulkun had entered. Your smile widened as the people raced to jump out in the water with cheers.

You gasp, looking at Lo’ak before grabbing his hand, tugging him towards the ocean. “Let’s go!”

You ended up riding on Lo’ak’s ilu behind him, an arm wrapped around him as you pointed at the many tulkun underwater. Lo’ak followed your gaze as he drove his ilu. His hand carefully placed on your thigh so you don’t fall off. He occasionally taps it to make you look where he was looking at.

You smile, seeing the Metkayina greet their brothers and sisters, making you appreciate the beauty of it all as you lay your head on Lo’ak’s shoulder. You even spot his siblings holding onto the fins of the tulkun as they swam around.

But alas, all good things must come to an end.

One day, Tsireya and the others, including you, had decided to follow Lo’ak on one of his trips to Payakan.

You swam closer until Tsireya stops you, holding onto a stem to steady yourself.

There he was, the love of your life, Lo’ak, in front of who you deemed was Payakan as you got a good glance of his stump on his fin. You watched as the tulkun, or Payakan, open his mouth widely, making you furrow your eyebrows and look at Lo’ak.

You saw him contemplating, making you question if he was really going to go in there.

He did. You watched him as he swam inside Payakan’s mouth.

The next seconds made your heart spike. Payakan closed its mouth, completely swallowing Lo’ak whole. You and Neteyam were just about to go over him when Ao’nung held you back, as with Tsireya and Neteyam. You looked at Ao’nung and he signed ‘Wait’.

You look at him, shaking your head, wanting to go but his firm hold doesn’t make you budge. You look over at Neteyam, making him shrug. You could tell he also wanted to go to his brother.

But when Lo’ak comes out from Payakan, still in one piece, it made you relieved. But then that led to Lo’ak seeing all of you.

Unfortunately, that also led to unfortunate events as the other Metkayina hunters had spotted you outside the reef. Then it led to a lecturing by Tonowari and Ronal, furthermore, having Jake hover over Lo’ak and his actions.

But that wasn’t all, you had received the news that Ronal’s spirit sister, had been hunted and left floating in the ocean. This had angered the Metkayina, now pushing them to engage in Jake’s war.

“My spirit sister, and her baby have been murdered by Sky People!” Ronal shouted.

“This war has come to us. We knew about this hunting of our tulkun people, but it was over the horizon far away!” Tonowari said. “Now it is here!”

You frowned then felt a hand on your shoulder. Looking to the side it was Lo’ak. You hugged his side as Jake’s voice intervened. “You gotta understand how the Sky People think! They don’t care about the great balance.”

That only let the Metkayina exclaim out in anger as Neteyam spoke. “Listen, listen to him!”

“The Sky people are not gonna stop. This is only the beginning. You gotta tell your tulkun to leave, you gotta tell them to go far away!” Jake explained.

“Leave?” Ronal spat back at him. “You live among us, and you learned nothing!” Her voice breaking sends you to grip a little tighter against Lo’ak.

“We will fight to protect our brothers and sisters!” A Metkayina warrior announced, earning the praise of people as they agreed. Jake shakes his head, “If you attack, if you fight, then they will destroy you! They will destroy everything that you love!” Jake shouted. You breathed out, looking back at Lo’ak to find him looking at his father.

The people wouldn’t listen as Jake began to get frustrated. He looks for something and plucks it out of Neteyam’s grip and he presents it to the people. You tilt your head, seeing a needle-like object covered in red. You stared at it. Then silence came.

“You tell the tulkun, if they are hit by one of these they’re marked for death… call for me. I’ll silence it… saving their lives, that’s all that matters, right? Saving your family.” Jake finished.

Tonowari and Ronal looked at each other before the decision has been made. “Tell the tulkun. Go.”

Everyone had scurried away, and you could feel Lo’ak slipping from your grip as he turns around. “Lo’ak!” You called out, that gathered the attention of Tsireya, Kiri, Tuk, Rotxo, Ao’nung, and Neteyam as they followed you.

“Lo’ak, what are you doing?” You asked him as he placed the saddle on his ilu. “I have to warn Payakan.”

“No, Lo’ak, you’ve got to stay here.” You said sternly at him. Lo’ak shakes his head. “He is outcast. There is nobody to warn him but me!” Lo’ak defended.

Then came the footsteps of the others, Neteyam stepping right beside you as the others watched.

“Bro, why do you always have to make things so hard?” Neteyam said. Lo’ak then glared at his brother, sneering.

“No, you mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you?! The perfect little soldier- well I’m not you!” Lo’ak shouted at him.

“Lo’ak!” You scolded, looking between him and Neteyam. Neteyam exhales, frowning at his brother.

“I’m not you! Okay? He’s my brother. I’m going!” Lo’ak said.

“No, I’m your brother.” Neteyam said, gripping Lo’ak’s arm. “Get off me!” Lo’ak said jerking his arm away from Neteyam’s grip to jump on his ilu. You gasp, “Lo’ak!”

“Go, go, let’s go, he’s going to Payakan!” Neteyam pats you on the shoulder as the others nodded. You called for your ilu before jumping and making tsaheylu.

“Come back, Lo’ak!” You begged. Lo’ak doesn’t look back as he dives in the water, speeding up. The rest of you followed as you tried to fight the heavy feeling in your heart.

Reaching Payakan, you had seen Lo’ak pulling out the same tracker that Jake held earlier. Your eyes widened as you tried helping Lo’ak pull it off. “Hurry, the ships are coming! They’re over there!”

You tried to pull but it wasn’t budging. “Call dad, go! Just go, do it!” Neteyam shouted at Lo’ak. Lo’ak follows, trying to contact his father as the four of you tried to pull the tracker out of Payakan.

“It’s getting closer!” Tsireya exclaimed as you tried pulling harder, grunting. “I know!” You said, quickly diving down underwater to grab a vine, tugging it and swimming to the surface, you hand it over to them.

“Here! Ao’nung, Neteyam!” You shout. They quickly got the idea as you tied the other end of the vine to your ilu. “Go, go, go!” Ao’nung said as you mounted your ilu, commanding it to pull as hard as it can as you scream.

“Pull! Harder!” Tsireya shouted as you tried. Then it finally gives up as it was finally removed.

You tug the vine, reaching the tracker as you held it in your hands. “Go! Go with them, I’ll hold them off!” You shout. Lo’ak looks at you with uncertainty in his eyes as the others moved quickly. “Go!” You shouted at him with a hard gaze.

He nods slowly before catching up with the others. You tried to move as farther as you can, holding the tracker in your hand as you dove in. But a shockwave near you almost dismounts you from your ilu, but you kept going. Once you had deemed it was far enough, you let go, letting it drop to the ocean floor.

Now your problem was going back to them. To Lo’ak.

Your eyes scanned everywhere for any sign of them, but you couldn’t find anything. You moved up to the surface just in time for you to see two banshees carrying a net that held Tsireya and Tuk on the inside, while Lo’ak was fighting to get them out from the outside.

“Fuck!” You exclaimed. You then had to look for Neteyam, hoping he wasn’t captured as well. Then you heard the wailing of the people arriving on their skimwings. You bit your lip, looking around. Your breathing ragged as you prepared to let your ilu move. But something appeared from beside you, making you gasp but it was only Neteyam. “Shh!” He said, placing a hand on your mouth. He then lets you go when you calmed down. “Neteyam, they- they’ve got them.” You spoke. “I know. I saw.” Neteyam sighs, thinking of a way to get his siblings back. “We try to-“ Neteyam was cut off as you saw Payakan in the distance launch himself onto the ship.

“Holy shit!” Neteyam exclaimed. You then saw a bunch of boats headed at Payakan.

“That’s us, let’s go, let’s go!” Neteyam said to you as his ilu raced to the demon ship. You follow, racing beside him.

You watched as the war waged on between the Metkayina and the Sky People. Then you saw the demon ship caught on fire as it began moving in full speed towards a rock, launching itself up in the air before landing against it, slowing down to a halt.

“Follow me, alright!?” Neteyam looks back at you. You nodded frantically as you watched him dive, tagging along as you steered your ilu underwater.

Then Neteyam charges upwards, hopping off his ilu and he climbs up towards the ship, you copied his movements, landing on the ship with a loud thud.

“Neteyam! (Y/N)!” Tuk exclaimed in joy. “(Y/N)!” Lo’ak said in surprise, looking at you. “Hey there baby brother, need some help?” Neteyam chuckles as you cut off the bands of Tsireya, then Tuk with your own dagger.

Neteyam was left with Lo’ak. “Get Tuk out of here, Reya.” You said to her, patting her back as she nods, taking Tuk’s hand before jumping in the water. You then waited for Neteyam to free Lo’ak.

“Who’s the mighty warrior, hm? Come on, say it!” Neteyam teased Lo’ak who rolled his eyes, he was now cut free. You sigh in relief as you ran to embrace him as his arms wrapped around you tightly.

Resting your head on his chest as Lo’ak kisses the crown of your head.

“Come on, let’s go you two, move!” Neteyam said, chuckling. You pulled away from the hug with a chuckle. As you were about to jump off with Neteyam, that’s when Lo’ak stopped in his tracks and goes the other way, making the two of you look at him.

“Lo’ak!” Both of you shout. He picks up a rifle on the ground, cocking it. “They’ve got Spider. We’ve gotta get him, come on.” Lo’ak said, looking at the two of you. “Come on, (Y/N)?” Lo’ak looks at you when Neteyam doesn’t respond. As far as you knew, Spider was Lo’ak’s brother too, even if he was human.

“Okay, I’ll come with you.” You said, nodding. Neteyam smacks his fist on the ground before following the two of you.

Sneaking in the ship wasn’t easy, there were a lot of humans evacuating as their urgent voices filled the ship. You, Lo’ak, and Neteyam used your skills in climbing to climb upon the metal ceilings of the ship.

Then you spot the group of humans who were escorting Spider as you silently landed on a platform, sending a signal to the two of them, pointing down. You waited until you strike.

Jumping down on the ground you stuck your dagger in one, before grabbing one and flinging him to the side on the wall as Neteyam dealt with the others. You had grabbed another one and flung them out the edge, letting them fall in the ocean. Lo’ak grabs a gun, this time as he turns around, he spots another one gaining consciousness, reaching for the gun and aiming to shoot at you.

Lo’ak had acted before he thought, finger curling around on the trigger, sending bullets flying towards the human and upwards the ceiling until he lets go, the human falling limp on the ground. You flinched at the sound, turning to see Lo’ak holding a gun and the human in front of him dead. Lo’ak stared down at the human, then at his gun.

Neteyam and Spider looked before hurrying to leave. “Let’s go.” You hold Lo’ak’s hand, grounding him for a moment as he nods, running over towards the open water.

But before you could leave, one of them had already spotted you, leading you to be pushed to the side as bullets were fired. “Go! go!” All of you huddled against a corner.

“Give me that!” Neteyam snatches the gun from Lo’ak’s hand before firing at the enemy. “Go go go!” Neteyam still fired at them while Lo’ak and Spider took the opportunity to sprint and jump in the water. Due to your sudden fear creeping up in your veins, you had lagged behind.

“(Y/N), go!” Neteyam shouted at you, but you knew better you weren’t leaving Lo’ak’s brother. You knew how much Neteyam meant to Lo’ak.

Once they had stopped firing, you grabbed Neteyam with all your might, pushing and making him jump into the water as you joined him behind as another round of bullets were fired.

Jumping in the water with them, you swam under the ship before you reached the surface outside, gasping for air. “Woah! That was insane!” Lo’ak laughed, high-fiving Spider as Neteyam laughed with them.

“You are such a skxawng, brother!” Neteyam said.

You laughed with them, seeing Tsireya approach you with her ilu out from the corner of your eye. “Come on.”

“(Y/N), let’s go!” Lo’ak looked at you with a smile while Spider and Neteyam grabbed onto the ilu.

You still held a wide smile, until it quickly faded.

A sharp searing pain suddenly burrowed its way into your chest, crawling all over your torso like you were on fire from the inside. Your brows furrowed as you gasp, hand reaching over to your chest, the pressure of your finger touching the wound only adding more fuel to the fire inside of you. “Huh...” You breathed out. Tsireya, Spider, and Neteyam look over to you as what happened finally registered in Lo’ak’s brain as he saw your expression drop.

You were shot.

“Shit!” He exclaimed as he pulls you close towards him, with Neteyam helping out. You could feel them helping you up, but the burning sensation was still there as you didn’t know what was happening. “Keep her up, keep her up!” Lo’ak shouted as you felt yourself being submerged under water then you were raised up to the surface. You glanced up and was met with the ilu as you wrapped your arm around it. You were then finally hoisted upon the ilu, you figured.

You gasped again, feeling the air hit you. “Hold her up!” Lo’ak said as Neteyam pulled you up against him as your head hung low as you tried to focus on breathing. You wanted to breathe, but why was it so painful? You looked up, your vision slowly spinning. Lo’ak goes in front of you, manoeuvring the ilu.

“I got you; I got you, alright (Y/N)?” Lo’ak said, trying to find a shore he can land you on. You held your hand against your chest, retracting to find blood covering your whole palm. Your blood. You furrowed your eyebrows. You didn’t know what was happening around you and Lo’ak could only try so hard not to panic. The love of his life had just got shot. You had just got shot.

“Dad! Dad! Help! It’s (Y/N)!” Lo’ak screamed at his father. Jake hurried over as Neteyam carefully held you with Lo’ak. “It’s (Y/N), she’s hurt. Dad-“ Lo’ak explained.

You gasped and gasped, coughing as more blood seeped out from your wound. Then you found yourself being laid down, somewhere. You didn’t know. You looked to the side and saw Lo’ak.

“Lo’ak…” You gasped out. “(Y/N), (Y/N) stay still alright? We’ve got you, I’m here.” Lo’ak looked panic-stricken, Neteyam looked at his brother when Jake turned you to your side, then both Jake and Neteyam’s eyes spot the continuous blood leaking down from the exit wound on your back as you coughed out.

Jake turns you back, a knowing look on his face as he and Neteyam glanced at each other. Jake then looks at his youngest son. “Pressure, pressure! Keep pressure on it!” Jake said, placing Lo’ak’s hand on your gunshot wound. Jake seeing you in this state felt like he was losing a child of his own as your young eyes glanced everywhere.

Lo’ak pressed his hands further down your chest, making you scream out, but all that came out was sharp gasps as you tried to pry his hands away, it was too painful. You couldn’t take it. “N- No, s-stop. Stop it- p-please.” You gasp out. “No, no (Y/N). We have to keep this on here, alright, kid? Yeah? Stay with us.” Jake said. Lo’ak’s heart pounded in his chest and in his ears. It was deafening as he looks at you.

Neytiri then arrives, seeing the scene in front of her makes her rush towards you. “(Y/N)…(Y/N)!” Neytiri shouted. Neteyam looks at his mother then at you. “She- she’s been shot.” Neteyam explained.

Your chest heaved with every pressure Lo’ak kept on you, you were gripping onto his arm with the strength you have left, but it feels like every ounce of your energy was being pulled out of you.

Lo’ak’s other hand goes up to your cheek as he gulps down the lump in his throat. “(Y/N), look at me… look at me, please.” Lo’ak begged and you followed him, looking at him, your mouth agape as you still tried to catch your breath. “I- I-“ You gasp, frowning as the pain was beginning to become unbearable.

You glanced around to find yourself surrounded by the Sully family, including Tsireya, who was sobbing.

“Lo’ak, I- I don’t know what’s happening… what’s happening?” You asked urgently, tears rolling down the side of your face as you are looking around you, soon training your eyes on Lo’ak.

“W-w- what’s happening, Lo’ak?”

“Hey, hey, you’re fine, we’re going to get you some help, baby, okay? Stay with me, please, just- just keep your eyes open for me, don’t sleep, don’t sleep.” Lo’ak said, stroking your cheek. Neteyam rubbed at your arm as your chest rose and fell rapidly.

You nodded, trying to keep your eyes open for Lo’ak. For him. You could make it, for him. You were going to make it for him. You will try.

You gasp, forcing a smile your face as you reached your hand up to Lo’ak’s cheek, him instinctively leaning into your touch, Neteyam’s hands replacing the pressure on your chest as Lo’ak held your hand in his as he finally sobbed, voice breaking.

“Lo’ak..look- look at me.” You gasp out loud. Lo’ak shakes his head no. “No, no…” Lo’ak closes his eyes, afraid to open them to find you laying there, with your blood coating his hands. You look at the others, who were trying their best to keep you alive, then back at Lo’ak as you feared you were running out of the energy you had left. “Look at me..” You managed to speak calmly, finally making Lo’ak look at you, rubbing his eyes so he could see you clearly.

“G-good person, okay?” You start, your hands moving to his hands to grasp his pinky. “You are a good person… d-don’t forget.” You smile at him through blurred vision. You then coughed, still trying to catch your breath as you could taste your blood accumulating in your throat, making your words gargled. You push through as blood seeped out from the corner of your mouth due to you facing him. Then with the last bit of energy you had left, you spoke your last words as you had finally made peace with what was about to happen.

“I-I see you, Lo’ak.”

Lo’ak’s heart drops as your hand fell limp on his, your eyes who stared back at him slowly became distant as the life had been drained from you along with your smile. Lo’ak then had a blank look on his face as he started to shake his head, using his hands to cup your cheeks, wiping the blood away on your lip using his thumb.

“No... Hey.. (Y/N)… don’t do this to me (Y/N)… (Y/N)! Don’t do this to me, come on please, hey.” Lo’ak shouted, now trying to shake you awake as your hand fell limp beside you. “No no, wake up, wake up, wake up.” Lo’ak said, trying to shake you awake again before grabbing your hand and placing it against his chest.

“Wake up.” He whispers, squeezing your hand, yet you didn’t squeeze back. Jake stared at you, then at his son as his heart felt like it was being torn apart. Neytiri had stared before she cried out a scream of agony, clinging against Jake.

Neteyam looked at your lifeless form. He slowly retrieved his hands from your chest, looking at them, palms smeared with your blood. He frowns, dropping and leaning against his dad as he allowed himself to silently cry for you. Tsireya shakes her head, holding onto your legs, trying to shake them, hoping that you would still respond as sobs wracked her body. Spider stared at you, gulping as his tears still came out, feeling sorry for his brother.

Lo’ak looks up at the sky, almost wanting to curse every being that took you from him. You didn’t deserve this. Lo’ak fights with himself to look at you once more. His eyes meeting your face, pale and blank. Lo’ak shakes his head, leaning his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault, I’m sorry. I’m so-“ Sobs were ripped out from him as he cried onto you, lifting your limp body up his arms as he hugged you. All he felt was your lifeless form, as he was taken back to the times you’d respond with hugging him back.

Lo’ak swallows down another lump down his throat as he shakily presses a kiss towards your forehead.

He had lost you, his life. The one who truly understood him. The one who eased his worry and pain ever since he could remember, now being the one who caused it tenfold. He wanted to scream, he wanted to go berserk.

Lo’ak still hugged your lifeless body against his, forehead leaned against your cheek as he muttered apologies.

“I’m sorry.”

948 notes · View notes

itadorey · 9 months

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑

pairing: childe x reader summary: in which you, the late signora's apprentice, have been assigned to take over one of the two empty harbinger roles, and childe can't help but worry about you. or alternatively, childe tries to rizz you up in the middle of la signora's funeral. wc: ~1.6k notes: more of a character study based on the "a winter night's lazzo" trailer. reader has a vision but it's only mentioned briefly.

the air is almost stifling as you look around, trying to ignore the mournful tune coming out of columbina's mouth.

the silvery metal of the coffin at the head of the room catches the light every so often, glinting just enough to catch your eye no matter how hard you try to keep your gaze elsewhere. it seems to mock, you, a reminder of the mentor who taught you so much yet told you so little. you don't miss her, of course you don't. from the very beginning, you knew you were merely another pawn for her to use; someone who she thought was talented, but ultimately disposable. that thought alone makes you feel some kind of morbid pride when you realize that you've managed to replace her.

a low hum comes from beside you, and you refuse to turn when you feel a certain redheaded harbinger lean in closer to you, nudging you with his elbow as he did so. childe lets out a small, frustrated huff when you refuse to meet his gaze, choosing instead to tilt his head down towards you. you can feel his hair brushing against your cheek and breath tickling the shell of your ear, an annoyance so great you finally break and face him, ready to tell him off. pulcinella starts speaking before you can do so.

"we are gathered here today to remember our dear comrade. in honor of her sacrifice, all work should halt for half a day as the nation mourns her passing."

your gaze is immediately drawn away from childe and towards pulcinella, your fingers twitching at his words. the action doesn't go unnoticed by childe, and he reaches over to grab your hand, pouting when you scowl and scoot away. his attention is quickly brought back to the rest of the harbingers, and he can't help but roll his eyes as someone else begins to speak.

"merely half a day?" pantalone says, chuckling lightly as he repeats pulcinella's words. you can't help the shiver that runs down your spine; pantalone's voice alone is enough to instill caution into you. "people may say that the northland bank's rue currencies are blood and tears, but mayor, even speaking as a banker that sounds a little unconscionable."

childe can't help but stare at you, watching as you nod your head absentmindedly. he's interested in your lack of emotion. sure, you're agreeing with pantalone's statement, but nothing about your demeanor suggests that you're actually upset about la signora's demise. you're just bothered with the lack of respect being given to a fallen comrade. a part of him is annoyed, all his delusions about comforting you in your time of grief dissipating in that very moment. another part of him is impressed; he can't deny that the tsaritsa really does know how to pick her harbingers.

"rosalyne died in a foreign land," arlecchino's voice is loud enough to drown out columbina's singing. "but you heartless businessmen and dignitaries always with a convenient excuse to remain in the comfort of your homeland. you couldn't hope to understand, so why don't you keep your mouths shut! we don't want to make the children cry."

there's an almost unnoticeable exchange between you and arlecchino, the two of you nodding at each other before looking away. childe's eyes don't leave your face as you sigh softly, directing one last glance at the coffin before turning your head to the side.

"hey, c'mon now," childe says, his tone a little too bright for the current situation. "even i don't think this is the right time or place for a fight."

there's a brief second in which you whip your head around to meet his eyes, mild surprise visible as you process his words. childe finds himself wondering why he spoke. (he tells himself that it's to respect la signora's memory).

"utterly risible," sandrone says. you can't help but roll your eyes, glaring at her as you try to figure out who her words were aimed at. childe frowns when he notices your attention is no longer on him, and he chooses to burrow into his scarf as he scoots closer to you. he blames it on the cold.

the conversation turns to scaramouche, and you tune out capitano and dottore as they speak. you couldn't care less about the missing harbinger; sooner or later you would catch up to him and take back what the tsaritsa wanted. columbina's singing seems to get louder, almost taunting you as you do your best to avoid looking at the coffin. you're reminded of the day you were called into the tsaritsa's audience room, her hand colder than the snezhnayan snow as she rested it on your shoulder and told you that you would be taking the place of one of the two former harbingers.

"rosalyne would be proud," the tsaritsa had said. "you should feel honored."

your fingers trace the outline of your delusion, catching on the ridges of the gilded metal that keep the gem in place. you know it's almost identical to a vision, but the gifted delusion feels much, much heavier. you think you're going crazy.

childe nudges your knee with his, drawing you out of your thoughts. you look over at him, an amused smile on your face as you notice him snuggling into his scarf. he's closer than he was earlier, you realize, his outer thigh pressed up right against yours. you pretend not to notice, instead relaxing your posture and allowing your leg to fully rest against his. you blame it on the cold.

a soft gasp leaves your lips when childe grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours before pulling you off the bench you had been sitting on. you glance around, watching as all the harbingers approach rosalyne's coffin and take their respective places around it. you stare at your hand, still intertwined with childe's, before you glance up, being met with an infuriating smirk. you huff as he pulls you to his side, grip tightening slightly to make sure you stay in place beside him.

"let every worthy sacrifice be carved in ice, and with this nation endure for all time," pierro's words catch your attention, childe's hold momentarily forgotten as you stare at the first of the harbingers. "in the name of her majesty, the tsaritsa, we will seize authority form the gods. absolute peace; such is the gift from the tsaritsa, such is her majesty's benevolence. now you rest in this coffin, encased in layer upon layer of ice."

pierro pauses to stare down at the coffin, and you find yourself absentmindedly placing your free hand upon the cool metal. there's a slight shake to your hand that makes your brow furrow, unsure as to why. you're not scared, and the nervousness you feel is not nearly great enough for you to be shaking. your muddled reflection stares back at you as you keep trying to discern your emotions, and you're only brought out of your pensive state when you feel childe squeeze your hand. you glance up to meet pierro's icy gaze head-on.

"but rosalyne, i promise you, your final resting place will be the entirety of the 'old world'," pierro finishes, speaking his final words without looking away from you. there's a tense silence that follows, each of the harbingers waiting to hear your response. you glance down briefly, your previously shaky hand having gone still in the time it took pierro to speak. you feel childe fidget, your silence dragging on as a miniscule smile appears on your face. you drag your gaze up to give pierro a firm nod, receiving one in return before he turns and walks out of the room. pulcinella and pantalone are quick to follow, the latter shooting you a curious glance and letting out a low hum before disappearing.

"well, well," childe starts. "shall we go get some food and celebrate?"

at your confused glance, childe simply smiles. "you were so nervous you were shaking! but don't worry, you've proven yourself."

you pull your hand out of his grasp when he begins to walk, your face feeling warm as you realized you had been holding hands the entire time. "no thanks, i have things to do."

childe's eyes follow you as you stalk towards the door, an eyebrow raising when you pause at the exit and turn to face him once more. "and i wasn't nervous!"

"no?" childe immediately responds, a flirty lilt present in his voice as he crosses his arms. "then why were you shaking?"

"because," you start, a dangerous grin spreading across your face. you've finally figured out what you were feeling earlier. "i realized that being a harbinger doesn't make me nervous. it makes me excited."

childe huffs out a laugh as you finally leave, shaking his head in amusement before he runs a hand through his hair. he's left staring at the door until he hears arlecchino's muffled snort, and he turns to her with a warm face as he realizes that she'd heard your entire exchange.

"you don't stand a chance," she says, making her way to the exit as well. "but it'll be fun to see you try."

"fun indeed," childe mutters, glancing at rosalyne's coffin one last time. with a soft laugh, he places his hands into his coat pocket, trudging towards the door and already missing the warmth you had been providing not even ten minutes prior. "this'll be interesting."

rbs are appreciated <3

#genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #childe x reader #tartaglia x reader #ajax x reader #childe x you #tartaglia x you #genshin imagines #childe imagines #tartaglia imagines #childe #tartaglia #genshin impact #genshin impact scenarios

366 notes · View notes

possibilistfanfiction · 3 months

Note

Surgeons au: "please take a break"

[idk where this started & idk where this went but boy is it soft lol]

beatrice is exhausted.

you get home — to her house, but you have a key and most of your things have migrated over steadily: a drawer for your underwear; your favorite coffee roast in the cabinet; your spare cane in the corner of the bedroom; the garden you’d planted and tended in the back yard in full bloom now — and see her slumped over, her head in her hands, sitting on a stool at the kitchen island. it’s been like this for days, since she lost a patient from a routine surgery that went badly and then went worse than badly. it wasn’t her fault, not at all, but beatrice, you’ve found, despite her reticence and calm, is a person who feels everything deeply. for all of your differences, you think this is maybe the similarity that makes the most sense to you, the one that lets you navigate what she needs when things are too big and too near and impossibly sad.

she lifts her head, a blush rising to her cheeks, when you come in from the garage. ‘oh,’ she says, like she lost track of time; she probably did.

‘hello to you too.’

she smiles apologetically. ‘hello, darling.’

you toss your tote on the couch; on a normal day, when things aren’t so heavy, this would make her sigh in fond exasperation, but now she just waits, still, for you to slip your shoes off and pad over to her.

‘i’m all sweaty,’ she says, holding up a hand before you can hug her. you glance down and see that she’s still in a pair of her climbing pants and an old hoodie, her hands still slightly dusty with chalk.

‘you went to the gym?’

she nods, and you spare her the lecture of why it’s a bad idea to go bouldering after a marathon shift, especially when she hasn’t been sleeping even on her days off.

‘i just needed something else to think about, to — to feel with my hands.’

you’re, like, the most mature person in the world now, basically, because you read the room and refrain from making one of many of the dirty jokes that immediately pop into your head. it’s too easy anyway. ‘are you feeling better?’

she sighs, slumps even further onto the stool. ‘i’m feeling tired.’

‘yeah, i bet you are.’ you don’t care about her being sweaty, don’t care about any of it, really, but how to possibly comfort her. you rub your hand along her back, her perfect, strong spine, her exacting, taut muscles, the grief wedged between them all.

‘i have to read dr. adebeyo’s new research article, and review for my septal myectomy on thursday, and —‘

‘you’re not at work right now, babe.’

‘i can’t think of anything else.’

you don’t often ask things of her, mostly because she offers so much so readily but also because asking is still hard for you, impossible some days. but you’re working on it and, besides, this is for her: ‘please, please take a break.’ what happened wasn’t your fault, you want to say, but it would be too much and you get the feeling that she still isn’t quite ready to hear it yet.

she leans into your side then, a little awkward but bone-weary and still, you can tell, in love. it’s scared you for so long, what it’s like to be adored by someone, to be valued and admired; it’s the most terrifying thing you’ve ever felt in your life, worse than your accident and the scars along your back and the hollow of your throat and all the surgeries to follow, worse than the horribly hopeful future spread out in front of you when you got accepted to work with jillian, worse than when you matched with your dream program. beatrice simply is — in love with you, loving you — and, finally, finally, you’re starting to trust it.

‘you need a haircut,’ you say after a while — beatrice usually buzzes her hair every week, neatly and like clockwork, because ‘it’s easy, and, so i’ve been told at least, that it looks good,’ she’d told you, to which you’d rolled your eyes but had no argument against — and she snorts a laugh from where she’s pressed her face into your arm. it’s amused and exhausted, all at once. ‘i can do it, if you’d like.’

she waits for a moment, considers it. there’s the intimacy you’re familiar with: how warm her center is with your fingers curling inside, the way her mouth feels when you’re about to come. the way your body was able to feel during sex was the wildest, most heartbreaking discovery for you at first, but you settled into it with joy after a while. after chanel had very seriously given you a lecture your second week of college on how to be safe, it was fun and light and never so serious. with beatrice, it’s easy intimacy: you know that kissing her pulse point makes her arch her back and beg, that you know how to be kind, even when rough, every single time.

the intimacies of life, though, are where you sometimes both get stuck, the smallest parts of you that had hurt the most, that had had to heal so slowly, that you hold so tight to your chest. you hate playing all your cards, and you’re certain she does too: to be cared for can feel suffocating, in the wrong circumstances. to be cared for, though, you’ve discovered a few weeks ago when she brought you a heating pad and picked up the new pain medication your neurologist wanted you to try, in the right hands, in beatrice’s hands, is a miracle.

beatrice looks up at you, the question clear: you would do that for me?

you smile softly, lean down to kiss her like things are easy, like things are good. in so many ways, in the ways that sit in the marrow of your bones, they are.

she smiles back, finally, eyes brightening, unfurling after days trying to hide in the dark. ‘you think you can manage it?’

you nod. ‘you can trust me.’ it comes out so sincere, despite the fact that you add in a wink to try to dissipate it.

she straightens up, then, and squeezes your hand. ‘thank you, ava.’

you tell her, ‘of course,’ because, of course.

‘you know,’ she says a few minutes later, sitting on a kitchen chair in the big primary bathroom, her shirt discarded in the hamper in your room, ‘i’ve never let anyone do this for me before.’

‘really?’

‘yes.’ she’s quiet for a moment, the buzz from her clippers, with the guard she’d precisely put on, the only noise as you run them along her scalp. ‘well, it’s fairly simple, for one.’

you hum. ‘and for two?’

she rolls her eyes, shrugs, blushes. you love her. ‘i didn’t…’ she pauses, tries again, ‘it’s close.’

‘yeah.’

she meets your eyes in the mirror, quiet. you know from what she’s told you about her past, when she was younger, when she knew who she was but was made to feel scared and so ashamed : the tears and the heartache and how much she thought her life wasn’t worth anything, the heaviness that sits around her like a soft cloak sometimes, even still. but, right now, you see her, and you care for her, exactly as she is. it’s different than anything you’ve ever had before, more than you could’ve convinced yourself to want: she’s going to stay. she wants to stay.

a smile grows on her face and it’s like the whole world lightens. ‘lilith thought i was having a breakdown, the first time.’

you laugh, go over the spiraling, small cowlick a few more times so it’s all even. ‘was she maybe a little bit right?’

she hums. ‘a little, perhaps. but i’d been curious for a long time, and i knew — it would feel right. i knew it.’

you resist the urge to kiss the top of her head, one of your favorite activities, only just avoiding it when you brush all the little hairs from her bare shoulders and some of them stick to your hand. ‘well, it suits you. i mean, i think anything would suit you, probably, but i get it.’

her smile softens, just for you. ‘plus, my mother almost fainted the first time i went home for the holidays. worth its weight in gold, honestly, for both me and lil.’

it’s rare beatrice mentions her parents, especially in a way that encourages a little laugh to bubble out of her chest. you grin. ‘i would’ve paid to see that.’

she fiddles with her watch band, one of her only nervous tells, and then sighs. ‘well, they’re visiting in a few weeks, after my boards.’

you take the guard off and tilt her head forward slightly so you can clean up her neckline. it gives her time to take a deep breath, and for you to calm your nerves. ‘oh. how do you feel about that?’

‘i mean, well, it’s fine. i suppose this is the sort of things parents would be proud of.’

‘any sane parent would be, like, bursting at the seams proud of you. i need you to know that.’

‘i —‘ she pauses, puzzles through it. ‘i do, for the most part. when they’re a continent away, it’s different. easier.’

‘for sure.’ you walk around in front of her and brush hair off of her forehead, the tip of her nose which she scrunches up. you’d told a patient the other day, scared and hurting, that dr. choi was the best, and, in all the ways that matter — her steady hands and kind hugs and the stretch of freckles across her cheeks — you had meant it.

‘do you — would you like to meet them?’

you’d like to fucking punch them, but — ‘do you want me to meet them?’

‘yes,’ she says, certain and stoic. ‘you’re my partner, and we live together, and i’m going to spend the rest of my life with you.’

there’s such tenderness, such assuredness, the rain calming and her strong shoulders and the smile you feel on your face. it’s quiet, now, the clippers turned off and sitting on the counter. ‘we live together?’

‘that’s what you got from that?’

you shrug.

she takes your hand, laces your fingers together. ‘your lease is up next month, right?’

‘yeah.’

‘i can’t remember the last time you didn’t spend the night here, and i certainly can’t remember the last time i didn’t want you to.’

‘you’re full of big declarations today.’ it’s ineffective, because your laugh comes out as mostly a snot-filled snuffle when tears press at your eyes. you’ve never, really, had a home before.

beatrice just squeezes your hand.

‘you’re gonna spend the rest of your life with me?’

‘ah, there we go.’

‘you do know that i’m, like, a whole lot.’

‘yes,’ she says. ‘and i love you.’

just like that. just like that, and it’s so easy. ‘i love you too.’ you wipe under your eyes, grimace for a moment when stray hairs get stuck on your cheeks, but you let out a big breath. ‘i can’t promise i won’t at least tell your parents off.’

‘if they say anything that warrants that, i’m fine with you causing a scene if you’d like. shannon loves to, so she’ll have fun.’

‘i think that might be too much of an opening for me, honestly. i’ve been waiting to yell at them since like, two hours after i met you.’

‘there’s no way you knew after two hours on my service.’

‘i could sense the, like, childhood trauma, gentle, brooding, gay vibes. i’m talented that way.’

she rolls her eyes but she’s clearly so fond of you, still holding your hand. ‘well, shall i shower, and then we can order in? catch up on the traitors, maybe?’

‘god, that is my love language. for real, bea.’

‘would you like to shower with me?’

‘okay, i take it back. that is my love language.’

she laughs, and stands, and you clean up and get in the shower and kiss her. you don’t do anything more, not tonight, not when things are still the raw end of a live nerve wire, hurt dissipating near the surface. you cuddle on the couch and steal bites of her biryani and she falls asleep, warm and soft, her head resting on your chest while you scratch her scalp. you live her, for real, you think, as you pause the episode before the roundtable because she hates missing it even if she pretends to not care — asking for a full recap the next day — and then rouse her as gently as you can and lead her by the hand to bed, to rest.

#wn #wn fic #avatrice #avatrice fic #butch bea 🥺🫡#surgeons au #idk! the INTIMACY! mary oliver was right!#the girls who get it get it (gender expansive)

107 notes · View notes

noahsresources · 11 months

Text

hurt/comfort statements that hit me right in the feels.

pardon me please, i'm just having a moment. possible tw for suicidal ideation and references to death and loss. bonus points for specifying a scenario!

from those who are struggling. ❝ i never thought i'd ever make it this far. ❞ ❝ ... when were you going to tell me about this? ❞ ❝ i don't ever want you to die. please ... don't die ... ❞ ❝ we had our whole lives planned out. ❞ ❝ i just can't, it's too much. it's too fucking much. ❞ ❝ losing him/her/them was the cruelest thing i've ever experienced. ❞ ❝ people say things like, 'you're going green with envy', or 'there's smoke coming out of your ears'. you think they'd come up with a statement like that that describes someone who's in constant pain like this ... ? ❞ ❝ sometimes you need to make room for grief. make time for it. embrace it. it's all i've been doing as of late. ❞ ❝ how is it possible to hurt this much when nothing's wrong? ❞ ❝ drowning in sadness is more fulfilling than drowning in pleasure these days. ❞ ❝ it's hard to let go of the fact that i'm probably going to outlive everyone else in my life. ❞ ❝ i've already lost everything near and dear to my heart. everything except for you. ❞ ❝ i'm just so tired. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. ❞ ❝ i was so close to giving up once. ❞ ❝ i don't want him/her/them to die alone. i'd never forgive myself. ❞ ❝ please, don't go ... i just need to feel your arms around me ... ❞ ❝ there's a reason why i hide my emotions locked in a metal cage so deep in my heart. it's so i won't get hurt like this again. ❞ ❝ i've always had to deal with these kinds of things alone. i don't need your help. ❞ ❝ it was my fault. i did this to him/her/them ... ❞ ❝ i can't even see my future anymore. i don't want to. ❞ ❝ there's no way i could possibly be this important to you. ❞ ❝ if i lose him/her/them, then there'll be nothing else for me to live for. ❞ ❝ i don't see a point anymore. in going on, i mean. ❞ ❝ time won't slow down. it never does. i had to learn that the hard way early on. ❞ ❝ go away ... please, just go away. ❞

from those offering support. ❝ ... i'm sorry. i'm so, so fucking sorry that you had to lose him/her/them. ❞ ❝ it wasn't your fault. you did everything you could. ❞ ❝ just remember they'll always be in your heart. ❞ ❝ i don't know what to say to make you feel better, but ... i'm here for you, if that means anything. ❞ ❝ believe it or not ... i know how you feel. i've been through this exact same thing. ❞ ❝ he/she/they loved you. he/she/they loved you so much. trust me ... i know. ❞ ❝ you're not alone. i promise you, you're not alone. ❞ ❝ don't worry, i'll stay. i'm not going anywhere. ❞ ❝ you've been through so much ... be kind to yourself. please. ❞ ❝ it's okay to cry. you don't have to hide your emotions around me. ❞ ❝ you don't have to talk to me. hell, you don't even have to look at me. but, please ... give me a sign that you're hearing what i have to say. ❞ ❝ please ... don't tell me that you'd choose to spend eternity up there with him/her/them over an eternity with me ... ❞ ❝ you're grieving. it's an understandable reaction. but you should rest. you've been overexerting yourself far too much lately. ❞ ❝ the man/woman/person who you lost, who loved you ... he/she/they wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself. ❞ ❝ crying is your body's way of telling you that you've been keeping everything in for way too long. so let it out. you're safe here. ❞ ❝ sadness is like an ocean. sometimes we drown in it, but other times, we're forced to swim in it. ❞ ❝ as long as i'm here, you'll never not have anyone ever again. ❞ ❝ i hope you know that you can talk to me about anything at all. share anything you need to get off your chest. i'm here for you. ❞ ❝ love is often felt the most in your favorite memories. honor him/her/them by remembering all the happiness he/she/they gave you. ❞ ❝ if you don't feel strong right now, then you don't have to be strong. it's okay to be vulnerable, weak, scared, and sad. ❞

373 notes · View notes

five-bi-five-mind · 7 months

Text

Too Soft

Fandom: Station 19/Grey’s Anatomy

Pairing: Carina DeLuca x female!reader

Genre: Hurt & Comfort, Angst, Smut

Words: 6.3k+

Summary: Carina is not coping well with the loss of her brother. She’s barely sleeping or eating and she refuses to let you comfort her. All she wants is some sense of control to come back into her life and all you can think is to offer her whatever she needs, no matter what that sense of control may look like.

Warnings: talk of grief; loss of family member; mention of canon character death; rough sex; semi-angry sex; fingering (r receiving); biting; marking; multiple orgasms; overstimulation

A/N: I do not know where this even came from but uh… here y’all go. Idk honestly how I feel about this one lol

This was a new dynamic. Never had you not been soft with each other. Ever since you met, that’s how your relationship went. It’s what you both needed, you were a trauma nurse and she was an OB. Two different things in a sense, sure, but both of you often saw hard situations. Not every patient was a breeze, there was so much struggle, so much loss, even in both cases.

So when you two met you needed softness and she gave it to you. She needed softness too, after all. So your love was gentle and tender. It always had been from the start. The way you both fell in love was fast, but in so many ways you two also took your time. Carina cherished you in every single moment she spent with you and you tried to reciprocate that. With every touch, you could see just how much appreciation she had for every single part of you and with every kiss, you tried to show her just how all-encompassing your love for her was.

In the year and a half that you two had been together, that feeling was consistent between the two of you. There were hard days, just like everyone else, but you two would talk through it and fall into bed in each other’s arms by the end of every evening. But when things suddenly changed for Carina, you were floundering.

It was all so sudden. A whirlwind incident that ended in unexpected tragedy for your girlfriend. Carina lost her brother and as a result, you had somehow lost her. She stayed with you, it wasn’t that you physically lost her. It was just that she had suddenly become so emotionally shut off. Although, as she skulked around the apartment looking half alive, you sometimes felt like you lost her physically too. But, for the most part, it was on an emotional level that Carina was just… absent.

You didn’t expect her to bounce back right away, of course. Grieving takes time and you understood that quite well. But then one month turned into two and then three and then four and suddenly you were rounding on five months of sharing a home with a husk of the woman you loved. In all of this, you tried your best to help too. You begged and pleaded to do anything to assist her in her grieving process. If she wanted space, you’d give it. If she wanted you, she could have it. Whatever she could possibly need you’d make sure she got. Except, she would just shrug off any of your offered comfort and help. It happened so often as the days went on that eventually the only thing you could do was back off.

And that’s where the dynamic got messier. If you backed off, she would come looking for you. Telling you she didn’t want space, so why were you giving it to her when you asked and she said no? Maybe she was picking a fight on purpose, but you’d never let it get to the point of yelling. You’d just sigh and agree to stay with her, but when that happened she couldn’t look you in the eye. She wanted you near– at least that’s what she said, but any time you simply sat next to her it was like you were doing it wrong. You didn’t know how to fix that or how to be near her in the way she wanted.

It wasn’t even this new, uncomfortable dynamic that made things the hardest. No, it was the way Carina just was. Seeing her, this incredibly strong woman, seem so broken. It broke you too. She was hurting to the extent that it felt like the woman you once knew would never come back. Carina was always your advocate for self-care when you had a hard day, but she wasn’t following any of her own advice.

When was the last time she even really slept? You often caught her in the weirdest places, curled up on the floor, staring blankly, rather than resting or even crying. It was scaring you. For a few weeks this behavior was understandable, you told yourself it would pass and you’d let her do what she needed as she grieved. But now it’s been months and the sleep deprivation had to have been hurting her on a physical level too. Not to mention the fact that she barely ate now. She was looking quite literally dead on her feet and the absent look in her eye was making it harder and harder for you to stay silent to her grieving process.

You tried to tell the people around her, tried to ask them about what to do, but many didn’t have much to say. We all grieve differently, she just lost her brother, or it takes time were the three most common phrases you were met with. At first you agreed, but now you were getting sick of hearing it. It wasn’t that you were impatient to have your girlfriend back or that you couldn’t handle caring for her in her time of grieving, it was that your concern for her was causing you to be literally worried sick.

The final straw to break your silence happened when you woke up to the other side of the bed cold and empty at the late hour of one in the morning. You had told Carina you would really like it if she came to bed not too long after you and pleaded with her to actually join you for once. Not for anything but rest, of course, but still you just wanted to have her next to you again. She had half acknowledged you and you sighed, but took that for now as you trudged off to bed. Randomly, you had woken up to reach for Carina, only for your hand to hit the mattress. Why you had hoped that tonight she would finally try to get a proper amount of sleep in the bed you shared, you weren’t sure. Regardless, it was the breaking point for you.

You threw the covers off of you, creeped down the hall of your apartment, and saw the bathroom door was cracked with the light on. Gently, you opened the door and stepped in to find where Carina was hiding. What you saw was a new sight: Carina curled up on the shower floor, fully clothed with the shower off and completely dry.

“Carina?” Your voice was barely above a whisper, trying to be as gentle as possible as you knelt down in front of her. “Carina, what are you doing in here?”

She didn’t answer. Her tired eyes just flicked up to you before dropping back down. You watched as she hugged her knees tighter to her chest and you sighed. “Carina, come on,” you reached out for her. “Let’s get you to bed.”

“No,” she shook her head. “No, no…”

“Carina–”

“Everything,” she mumbled. “Everything is just too– It’s too soft.”

“Okay…” Your voice was hesitant, questioning. You didn’t want to judge her. If this was still part of her grieving process you’d ride it out with her, but it was tiptoeing into unhealthy territory. She hasn’t slept, she’s barely ate, there was a growing dread in your stomach whenever she passed you in the hall, eyes devoid of any emotion, her face stuck twisted in that pained expression she’s kept on for weeks. You were worried she was going to exhaust herself to death, that her lack of sleep and energy would see her collapsing if she tried to work, or do anything really. On top of that, she was carrying so much of this blame and loss inside herself, even if what happened to her brother was by no means her fault. It was too much for her, she wasn’t able to let it out. She was grieving, sure, but was she actually processing it all? Your heart ached to help, but you felt powerless. There was no way to take on her pain if she didn’t let you.

“I- I can’t just be comfortable. If I’m comfortable, I’ll cry and I’ve been crying for weeks. I can’t cry anymore. I-” Carina’s voice broke and she cut herself off, shaking her head hard. “No. No, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Carina…” You scooted closer to her, your hands slipping into her own. “Please,” you urged. She needed some of this off her shoulders, she needed to let herself rest.

“I’m sorry, bambina.” Carina’s hands slowly withdrew from yours and you knew she saw the hurt look in your eyes. You couldn’t stop yourself. Maybe it was selfish, but you wanted some of her back. An ounce of contact that told you she would come back to you. She could grieve all she wanted, for as long as it took, as long as it wasn’t forever. But there was a fear in you, one that said maybe she would never forgive herself, even if it wasn’t her fault. If she didn’t forgive herself, you didn’t think you’d ever see Carina’s bright smile again. The thought shook you to your core. “It’s too soft.”

Those words cracked at your heart. There had to be something, anything you could do. If she can’t handle soft, what can she handle? All you knew was how to be gentle with her, the way she always is with you. “We need to take some of this blame off you,” you begged. “What can we– What can I do? Blame me, you can blame me. Just anything, Carina, please.”

Carina was continuously shaking her head, her eyes glistening with tears she refused to shed. “No, it’s not about blame. It’s not that. I’m angry, bambina. Not at you, not at anyone, not even at myself, but at the world. I don’t understand it– I don’t know how to stop this feeling. I feel like my emotions are out of control, everything is slipping through my fingers. Everything feels out of control. Bambina, you can’t help.”

“What can then?” You weren’t going to give up on this. Right here, right now, you were going to do whatever you could to alleviate some of this from Carina. If you didn’t find a way tonight, something told you, you’d never get the Carina you once knew back. “Things feel out of control, right? What can we do to get some back? I’ll do anything you need, just name it.”

Carina kept shaking her head, rubbing at her eyes angrily to fight off the tears she didn’t want to shed. “I don’t want to take what I’m feeling out on you, bambina.” Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment as she took a deep breath. “That’s not healthy.”

“And this is?” You didn’t mean to raise your voice, but you were at your wit’s end. “Does this look healthy? You haven’t slept for days and you’re curled up on the bathroom floor for god’s sake!”

Carina didn’t say anything to that. Her eyes fell and her face went practically emotionless. All that did was build up your frustration more. Not at her, but at everything. At your powerlessness to help her. At the fact that she lost someone who meant so much to her. At how unfair the world was to the woman who deserved the best.

“Carina,” you continued, “you want control then we’re going to get some back. This—“ you motioned to where she was curled up on the shower floor, “—is not good for you. Take your control back, even if it’s in a small aspect. Just take it.”

Your eyes burned from frustration tears threatening to spill, but this wasn’t about you. You wouldn’t allow yourself to cry. Not when you knew you needed to give Carina that space to do so. “Give me this blame, put the anger on me. Just do it for now. All I’m asking is that for tonight you just try.”

Carina looked back up at you now. You could see from the look on her face that she was seriously taking in everything you were saying. In her mind, she was calculating what her next move was. She so desperately wanted you in her arms, but one moment of gentleness would surely make her break apart all over again and she was struggling to put those pieces back together on her own.

She did want to feel in control. She wanted to get back to the place she was in when she first met you. Where she could be your comforting and strong girlfriend, the one who was soft only for you. Now, anything remotely soft set her off and she found herself wallowing, not just in grief, but in self loathing too. Carina’s emotions were so scattered, she didn’t know if she could ever control them enough to be what she once was for you again. That thought alone terrified her just as much as it did you.

But she had to try, right? For you at least. If she couldn’t hold you like she wanted to, then she could do the alternative. Something inside her told her, if she did touch you in some way– in any sort of way, it would ground her. It might even mend a small piece of her. It couldn’t be soft; she couldn’t handle soft. But here you were, telling her to take it out on you, even if it’s just for one night. Her mind argued with itself. One side was trying to give in to everything you were saying and the other was wary of being anything other than gentle and loving to you. Though, after a moment, her decision was made.

“Meet me in the bedroom,” Carina’s voice was barely above a whisper.

“Carina, what…” You trailed off, your eyes searching hers for some sort of answer. You said you wanted to do whatever it took to make her feel better, but you didn’t expect that response.

“Please.”

That was all you needed to hear to let any question you had on the tip of your tongue die. Without another second of hesitation you stood up. Carina didn’t immediately do the same, but she told you to meet her in the bedroom and that was what you were going to do. You walked out the bathroom without saying much more. What would you even say? The confusion was pretty clear in your eyes when you looked back at Carina after she made her request. You figured you’d learn what her intentions were in due time. Whatever it was, you weren’t going to go back on your word.

You sat yourself on the edge of the bed you shared and waited anxiously, picking at an invisible piece of fuzz as you waited for Carina to come in. She took a moment before she followed you. When she stood up from where she had curled up in the shower to look herself over in the mirror, she finally saw just how wrecked she really looked.

Before she followed you in, she decided to take a moment to clean herself up. Splashing water on her face to wash away the few dried tears that had shed helped a little, but she still looked exhausted. Her skin was more pale than she had ever seen it, and she could tell from the dark circles under her eyes that she was severely lacking a good night’s rest. Still, that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. At least maybe what she had planned to try with you might make that seem a little more attainable, but she had doubts.

Carina didn’t even know if you’d accept what she was planning. She knew you meant it when you said you’d take on whatever pain she was willing to unburden herself with, but she still was unsure about this. She just really needed some sense of control and somewhere in her grief-warped mind she thought if she could have an ounce of control over you then maybe she’d be able to grapple with some sort of control over her emotions. At the very least, it would give her a chance to have her hands on you in a way that wasn’t too soft for her.

Slipping her clothes off and pulling on her bathrobe, she took one more look at herself in the mirror. This wasn’t exactly the alluring look she wanted, but that wasn’t what she was going for. She nodded to herself, trying to keep a grip on her resolve to try this before she chickened out and ran back to her not-so-cozy corner of the shower. Creeping up to the bedroom, she peaked in to see that you were still perched nervously on the edge. Her heart ached for the anxiety and confusion she knew she was causing in you, but she didn’t really know how to stop herself from causing that either. Maybe, just maybe, after tonight some of this pain would ease for the both of you. It was worth a shot, even if Carina highly doubted it.

“Bambina.” Carina’s voice broke through the uncomfortable silence you were sitting in. Your head immediately snapped up to see her standing in the doorway.

She took one step towards you, then two and you felt yourself getting more anxious by the second. At the moment you saw her standing there in her robe, you began to piece together what she had in mind; what she was going to ask of you. There were so many nights when you’d make love to Carina, each one full of tenderness and love. While there might be love in what was going to transpire tonight, you knew the tenderness would not be there. Control, that’s what she needed. Maybe you weren’t exactly able to picture how she would gain that from what she was planning, but you could imagine it wasn’t going to be gentle love making like it used to be.

“Lay back on the bed.” Carina’s voice wasn’t demanding. It wasn’t harsh or cruel either. If anything it sounded a tad unsure. But still, when you followed her direction and she watched as you scooted yourself up onto the bed, you saw a flash of appreciation in her eyes. You weren’t going to question her actions, which took some of her tension and unease away. Whatever she was going to ask, you were going to give. Even if you were a little unsure about this shift in dynamics between the two of you, you were still willing to be true to your word.

She took a few steps into the room, watching as you reclined on the bed. Something inside her shifted in that moment. As she saw you lay on the bed for her, waiting for her to do whatever she had in store, it was like a switch flipped. Suddenly, she felt that rush of control she so miserably searched within herself for. She hadn’t even done anything yet and the feeling was already flooding her entire body like a drug.

When she was finally at the bed, she reached out her hands and yanked up your shirt. You helped her get it off you as best you could before you laid back down. It was awkward and you were struggling, but Carina didn’t seem to care much. That act alone was rougher than she ever was undressing you, but you still didn’t say anything.

Carina paused as she looked down at your naked chest. You were already breathing hard, just waiting for her to make a move. Finally, she reached out again and slowly dragged her nails down your body. Your head craned up to watch what she was doing and when her eyes met yours, you shivered at the look she gave you. Her pupils were blown as she stared you down. It was like she was in a trance, watching as five angry, red lines appeared in the wake of her nails on your skin.

You swallowed hard as Carina grabbed ahold of your pajama pants and yanked them down just as hard as she had pulled off your shirt. Now, you were completely bare in front of her and your anxiety was getting the best of you. It had been a little while since you let Carina see you like this. Even if she had seen you naked so many times before, this time was different. She was different now. Not that she wasn’t still your Carina. She was, it’s just that she also felt somewhat like a stranger.

But you shook that feeling off quickly when you felt the mattress dip by your feet. Carina slowly crawled over your bare body, her knees stopping and resting at either side of your waist. You tried to take a few deep, grounding breaths as Carina continued her earlier actions with her hands, scratching down your bare sides slowly and leaving marks along the way. It wasn’t hard enough for those marks to linger, but it was still an act you weren’t used to.

After a moment, Carina leaned down and her lips finally met yours. It felt like home and unfamiliar territory all at once. She felt like Carina, tasted like Carina, but the way she was kissing you was very much not like Carina. The kiss was slow, but not very gentle. She was claiming your mouth with her kiss, rather than the usual feeling she brought when kissing you. When she kissed you in the past, it felt like she got lost in the kiss you shared, but this time it felt like she was dominating it. This was about control after all, you thought as you did your best to keep up with the way she kissed you.

Her tongue licked into your mouth and you groaned, your hands moving up to grab onto her sides. The feeling of her silky robe rubbing against your bare skin was a disjointed feeling, but you tried to ignore it and do your best to keep up with her kiss. If you were being honest with yourself, this side of Carina, the controlling take-what-she-wants kind of side, wasn’t all bad. To be truthful, it was turning you on. Teeth dug into your bottom lip and pulled. Despite the gasp that escaped from you, the act, even though painful, sent a rush that landed straight between your legs.

The entire time Carina was kissing you, all she felt was a sense of peace. She wasn’t being gentle, sure, so that feeling definitely contradicted what she felt inside. But the more contact she had with you, the more she realized this really was exactly what she needed. It was like instant gratification, the way you responded to her command and her every touch. She felt that control and she was drunk on it. It was like, with this new feeling, all the others felt more muted. Not completely away, but enough that she could ignore them. Eventually, as she kept kissing you, all the tumultuous emotions she had been battling completely muted. There was only Carina and you and nothing could get in the way of Carina’s plans for you. That thought alone sent a shiver down her spine.

When she bit a little too hard on your lip, the yelp you let out broke her partially free from her power trip. She pulled back and paused as she looked down at you, her chest heaving. The look in her eye was something you hadn’t ever seen from Carina before. It was almost calm. Almost. But it was more like the calm before the storm. Like you knew that whatever was coming was going to be hard for Carina to reign in if you asked for her to stop. Your knuckles tensed as your hands kept their grip on her sides. Whatever she had planned truly wouldn’t be what you were used to with her, there would be no softness. You knew that when you offered, so while you waited for her to make her move, you mentally prepared yourself to truly give her full control.

“Bambina, are you sure?” She asked, her voice low. Her hand moved to your face, cupping your chin gently. It would be the last moment of softness you’d get from her for a while.

“Yes,” you whispered, nervousness clear in your voice. You swallowed hard again when she saw your hesitation and tried your best to sound more sure. “Yes, I’m sure. Whatever you need… take.”

Carina only nodded before sitting up and pulling at the tie to her robe. When she was free of it, she dropped the robe on the floor and practically rolled her entire body against yours.

“Mio dio,” she groaned to herself as she dragged her bare body against yours. This was the feeling she was missing so much. She kept herself from it in fear of breaking apart yet again, but you were presenting her with an opportunity to chase the feelings she needed while also avoiding the ones she couldn’t handle right now. “I’ve missed this so much.”

Your groan matched hers and your head fell back onto the pillow. Just the slight rock of her hips against yours was enough to get you wet. It had been so long since she touched you and the way she was touching you now was so different that it was doing unexpected things to you. “U-uh huh,” you mumbled as Carina kept rocking her whole body into yours. Her hands moved to your hips and one of her legs moved until it was slotted between your legs. You felt the pressure on your clit the minute she did that, her bare thigh grinding hard into you.

Your teeth sunk into your own lip when she steadily rocked into you. Trying to mirror what she was doing to you, you propped your own knee up and felt your breath hitch when her own wetness met your naked thigh. The sounds of skin against skin and both of you panting echoed in the room. Carina’s nails were digging so hard into your sides that you knew this time, those red marks wouldn’t go away so easily. Your hands were on her back, grabbing onto her for dear life as she kept rocking her own thigh into your clit and building up a delicious friction that you hadn’t felt in months.

All too soon, though, Carina pulled away. Sitting up for a moment, her fingers danced down your stomach until they reached between your legs, where she fully cupped your pussy. “When you cum tonight, it will be because I told you to,” Carina ordered. “Do you understand, bambina?”

You nodded your head vigorously, but Carina didn’t make any move to continue.

“I need you to say it,” she snapped. Her tone shocked you slightly, but you knew it wasn’t anger. It was all part of tonight, part of the control she needed.

“I understand,” you murmured and Carina gave you a satisfied nod.

“I’m not going to be gentle,” she warned as she sat back on her knees between your legs. Her fingers traced light circles on your clit. “But I need you to do this for me.”

“A-anything you want, Carina.” Your eyes met hers and the look she wore now was nothing but pure hunger.

With that Carina’s fingers moved down and circled your entrance. You tried to brace yourself, you really did, but nothing prepared you for the moment she pushed two fingers into you with such force until she was knuckle deep. A pathetic moan broke free from your lips, but Carina didn’t miss a beat. Each pump of her fingers was unforgiving. She put all the power she could into it, watching in awe as they slipped in and out of you. In this moment, as she sat between your legs and fucked her fingers into you with as much force and pent up anger she could put into it, she felt that pure control she was chasing intensify even more.

Your body was shaking and you were panting as you laid there and took her fingers with your legs spread open. Without warning, Carina slipped a third finger in you and you cried out. In that moment, Carina moved so that her body was back on top of your own. With each thrust of her fingers, she put her whole body into it. The way she was hitting so deep inside you and stretching you out almost burned, but it was a pleasurable burn. You couldn’t stop the cries that left your lips when all three of her fingers curled inside you and she quickened her pace.

The whole bed rocked with both of your bodies and your legs began to really shake. Carina’s teeth clamped down on your nipple and tugged hard. Not enough to break skin, but enough to have you shudder in pain that was quickly forgotten with a particularly hard pump of her three fingers inside you.

Pretty soon, Carina could feel the signs that told her you were close. “No, no, no, bambina,” Carina cooed against the bare skin of your breast. “You’re not going to cum now. You don’t get to cum now.”

“Carina, I don’t think—“

“Shhh, aspettami. Wait, bambina,” she growled. “Wait for me.” She pulled her fingers out then and you practically cried as the feeling of your impending orgasm suddenly faded. “I know, mia cara, I know.”

Carina placed kisses on either of your breasts before leaning back up to kiss your lips. Your lips immediately parted for her as your hands tried to pull her closer to your body. You needed more contact, you were so close before she pulled away. But still, Carina was in control, and she wasn’t going to give into your needy grabbing and pleading.

She pulled away after a moment to sit up on the bed and you leaned up on your elbows to watch her. The look you gave her must’ve been pathetic because she looked back at you with a knowing smile. One that was classic Carina, a flash of the old her that you hadn’t seen in so long.

You were so taken aback by it that you didn’t really pay attention to Carina for a moment. She moved until she was sitting at the head of the bed, leaning back against the headboard.

“On my lap,” she said as she turned to look at you. “You’re going to ride me until you make yourself cum.” She patted her lap for emphasis and you looked down at her hands before looking back up at her.

You hesitated, a little daunted by this new position she was asking of you. To ride her was one thing, but to get off on her yourself was a whole other.

“Now,” Carina ordered and you immediately crawled to her.

Straddling her waist until you were somewhat comfortably situated, you braced yourself on her shoulders. “Is this okay?” You asked nervously as you shifted on top of her.

“Yes, good, bambina.” Carina’s hand moved down your body and between your legs again. The way her fingers brushed against your clit made you shiver from how sensitive and keyed up you still were. “You’re going to fuck yourself on my fingers, okay?”

You nodded, finding it hard to vocalize anything when you were so ready to feel her fill you again. Luckily, she accepted this and, yet again, you felt the same three fingers fill you.

The fact that you had to get yourself off on her was one surprise; the fact that she was clearly insistent on stretching your pussy out with three fingers still was a whole other. Yet, Carina didn’t seem to mind the struggle in your face when you tried your best to grind down onto them. You grunted as you could feel the way your pussy was tightly wrapped around them, making it hard for you to take them in deep on your own.

Carina wrapped a strong arm around your back to hold you up firmly while you began to rock your hips into her. After a few minutes of you practically bouncing yourself up and down on her fingers, you began to feel that tantalizing pleasure again. It was only intensified by the way Carina had buried her face in your chest and placed bite mark after bite mark all over your tits.

Pretty soon, the room was filled with sounds of your moans and Carina’s satisfied praises. You kept fucking yourself onto Carina’s fingers with abandon until finally you were at that edge again. Your whole body was tensing up and you were pulling Carina into you as close as possible.

“Cum for me,” she ordered. “Cum now, bambina.” And you did with a low whine, coming all over her fingers.

Before you could even come down, Carina was moving both her hands back down to your hips. With a hard grip, she kept you going, moving your body for you and pumping her fingers up into you now. Your nails dug into Carina’s bare skin and you cried out her name as your body quaked and another orgasm hit you the second she fucked her fingers up into you harder.

Even then, she didn’t stop. Your whole body felt tense and overly sensitive, but still Carina threw you onto the mattress and followed behind. Landing knocked the wind out of you, even if you hadn’t caught your breath just yet from the two orgasms. Your head lulled back, but Carina kept pumping her fingers into your spent pussy.

“Carina I— it’s too much. I can’t,” you cried. You wanted to give her all she needed, like you said you would, but everything felt too sensitive. Never had she pushed you through two orgasms back to back, only to try and push you through a third.

“You can give me another,” Carina grunted into your ear as she kept fucking you. “You will cum for me again.”

You weren’t even trying to stop your whining and desperate moans at this point. Carina took one of your legs and pulled it over her waist, allowing her fingers to hit even deeper inside you. You felt spent and filled at the same time and it was all overwhelming you.

Your eyes rolled back and you whined Carina’s name as she pulled yet another orgasm from you. Still as your body shuddered and trembled, all Carina did was slow a little.

She was lost in her control over your body. This feeling, the feeling of making you cum, was the only positive feeling she’s had in so long. It was the only thing so far that quieted all her anger and guilt. Carina didn’t want to stop, she couldn’t stop. She needed to chase this feeling for as long as possible.

“Carina, please.” Tears pricked at your eyes as she kept fucking into you. Again, she was rocking her whole body into yours as she fucked you. She was losing speed, but each pump of her fingers was still powerful.

“One more,” She begged. “One more… please, just one more.” She didn’t stop as she pleaded with you, but you still nodded your head weakly. As much as your body felt like it was exceeding its limit, you wanted to give her all she asked for.

With each time her fingers pumped into you up to the knuckle, your body shuddered. You definitely felt like you were being fucked raw by her, but still you took it. Meanwhile, Carina just had her face buried into your neck, placing kisses now where she once was biting.

Finally, you came for a fourth time with a silent cry. Your chest was heaving and your body went totally limp under Carina and this time she actually slowed to a stop. Yet, her body remained on top of yours.

It was after a moment of trying to collect yourself that you finally noticed the way Carina shook on top of you. You realized very quickly she was crying and you instinctively wrapped your arms around her waist.

In all of that, as Carina was fucking you, she forgot just how good you felt. She missed you, she realized that as she had her lips on you and her arms around you. It wasn’t even that you went anywhere. No, you were by her side this whole time as she grieved. It was just that she was so lost in her grief that she might have been next to you physically, but emotionally she was just… gone.

Now though, as she laid on top of you and shed tears she thought she was done shedding, she felt comfortable. Finally, she had felt an ounce of control. Maybe it was over you and it was given willingly, but it still helped bring back a part of her. If anything, it just helped her to stop spiraling in her inner turmoil at least for the night.

After a moment, Carina pulled away and you immediately felt guilty. “Too soft,” you whispered. “I know, I know… I’m sorry.”

“No,” Carina shook her head and cupped your cheek again. Tears glimmered in her eyes as her thumb rubbed gently against your skin. You couldn’t stop yourself from leaning into her touch that you missed so much. “No, bambina, it’s okay. I think I could use softness now.”

You looked up at her with wide, hopeful eyes and in that very moment, Carina understood how much you were hurting for her too. “Will you hold me?” Carina’s question surprised you, but you didn’t miss a beat and eagerly nodded your agreement.

She rolled off you and you rolled your side, opening your arms for her. She turned into you and both of you wrapped around the other. Her hands held you tight and yours traced gentle circles along her bare skin. That night, she finally let you hold her as she cried. But this time she didn’t cry out of grief. No, instead she cried in relief as she felt some of the pieces inside her that had been broken since the loss of her brother finally start to come back together.

Taglist: @geekyandgay98 @desperate-gay @lovelyy-moonlight @storiesofsvu @demonicbaby666 @jareguiromanoff @high--power

Join the taglist here

#carina deluca x you #carina deluca x reader #carina deluca fic #carina deluca #station 19 fic #greys anatomy fic #five-bi-five-mind

306 notes · View notes

willowser · 8 months

Text

sometimes i get the very strong urge to write a comes back ??? fic for bakugou but the more i think about it, the more i realize how emotionally taxing and honestly horrifying it would be.

you and bakugou spend a few years in that weird will-they-won't-they stage before you officially start seeing each other seriously, and then it takes some time to adjust to having a pro-hero for a partner — so it's not always easy. until the time goes by and you have a break up scare or two and things finally level out, and you figure out how to talk to each other and you fall into the beautifully warm comfort of just being together, in love.

and then he fucking dies. in a heart-explodey, blind-in-one-eye kind of way.

the two years that follow are just — time passing, like pages in a chapter you can't understand the words to. you know grief in a way you never could have comprehended before, you wonder what it's all for and how you'll go on. you're angry at him for sacrificing his stupid life and angry at the world for taking him from you, but you're so deeply, down to your bones, heartbroken over losing him.

and you're not the only one; more than any of his friends that you see, deku is the one who is there for you the most. calls you daily and pulls you out of bed, makes sure you eat because he knows that's what kacchan would want. lovingly flings out a few gruff insults that make you laugh until you're both crying in your kitchen. it means something, maybe, that you both can just mourn in the presence of one another, without judgement or care.

your relationship gets a little — dependent. not romantic, at least not for you, but it's like you need the other person for the bits of bakugou they hold that you don't. the memories and the laughs and the bad times as well as the good. the secrets katsuki would never tell you, and the tenderness izuku was never shown.

it never gets easier. every day is just another day. if you think about it for too long, it all comes crumbling down. you're almost having to disassociate through your life just to make it, and that's hard when the whole city mourns him, too. but you do it. every single day, even on the worst of them.

izuku calls you a little more than two years after, in the middle of the night.

sounding way too awake and out of breathe, though you don't think that's necessarily out of the ordinary, considering his profession. he's a very hyper-fixation kind of guy; you can only imagine what hobby he's picked up and also mastered in the last 48 hours.

he asks if he can come pick you up from your apartment because he "needs to show you something important" and you agree, even if it doesn't feel like it usually does, when the nights are long and you both need someone to talk to. this feels — urgent. a bit worrisome.

you don't know where he takes you, but he's quiet the whole way there. in an old sweater, hair mussed, bags under his eyes like he really hasn't slept in the last 48 hours.

("stupid flighty fucker," katsuki would say, sometimes, when the weight of the world was weighing too heavily on the number one hero's shoulders, and even if he would huff and puff and grit his teeth, you'd notice him checking his phone more often than usual. taking every phone call that came without hesitation.)

you almost want to tell izuku that, in the car, because that's what you do, that's how you've kept him alive between the two of you; kacchan would make a point to tell you that's not how generators work, in the shitty horror film you and deku go see, that kacchan wouldn't dare sit through.

("no, he would," you argue, solemn as the lights in the theater warm back to life, as it empties. "he would."

and after a long, heavy beat, izuku would agree. "yeah. he would.")

izuku brings you somewhere that's too clinical to be as quiet and as dark as it is: inside, the walls and floors are sterile with anti-septic but the lights are off, in every hallway. the only visibility comes from a small lamp that's in a lobby of sorts, and there is a small handful of people you don't know, at all, already there. waiting.

you say his name in a small, concerned question, and when he takes both his hands in yours, they're warm and too wide and sweaty. his eyes glow, but in a way you don't recognize. everything he says to you is — gibberish, a mish-mash of worry and half-sentences and all the warning bells are going off in your head.

"y-you can't freak out, okay? you have to—i can explain all this when...when the time is right."

"you said that you would give anything to have kacchan back, remember? you said—you would do anything."

"i know this sounds—i know how this sounds, okay? but nothing is impossible!"

"i just need you to trust me."

and up until now, you had no reason not to. but you're not sure when he slept last, or even when he ate last, or why he's muttering things about his quirk, how he and katsuki are connected somehow, in ways he's not able to explain.

or why you can faintly hear the steady beeping of a heart monitor just beyond the only closer door in this wing of the hospital.

#not me actually crying while writing this lmaooo #deku is ✨ delulu ✨ enough for the both of us kahfkaha #no bc the thing is that he comes back and it's the age old question of. what have we done.#but at what *cost*#in my anime world logic for this deku does something something with all for one to bring him back — along with other unspecified stuff — an #bakugou comes back with deku's memories of the last two years 👀#and he can FEEL how miserable deku was without him 🥺 how bad deku felt for YOU 🥺#how weirdly close the two of you got 🤔#does he come back wrong ????? or does bringing him back make YOU wrong ??? 🥺#okay bye for real for real we've been driving all day bye bye #✿ willow writes #✿ thoughts: bakugou

349 notes · View notes

awfcspencer · 4 months

Text

Sunshine & Rain || alessia russo x reader

alessia russo x reader

prompt: Reader feels she is unlovable and is convinced Alessia deserves better, thankfully Alessia comes to her rescue.

warnings: mentions of trauma, anxiety, and depression, panic attack

The past can be something we hold onto for comfort. I guess I held on too long. Held so long that it creeps up on you more than you care to admit. Scared to mention it to Alessia in fear that she will leave you. Once she knew the real you, your thoughts, your fears, your anxiety, you knew it would be too much to handle, overtaking her, consuming her, but you feel it every day and every night. A rocky childhood mixed with a string of relationships that induced trauma was bound to be a deadly combo. Your previous partner made you feel small, incredibly small. Forcing you to believe you were unlovable, telling you that you require too much emotional energy.

Alessia was like the light at the end of a tunnel. She is everything you have ever wished for. Caring, considerate, gentle, and sweet. That is your Alessia. She was like a warm sunny day and you felt like you were impending rain, waiting to ruin the day.

Your relationship with Alessia was fresh, meeting her through a few mutuals, only being an item for a few months. The ‘honeymoon’ period was over. Your relationship with her thus far has been as cliche as saying ‘sunshines and rainbows’. But the sun has to set eventually, right?

From the second you awoke, you can feel the dark cloud over your brain, mind becoming blurred and you have yet to even leave your bed. You knew it was going to be one of those days. A day where everything felt like an overwhelming task.

Before you can even think, you immediately shut down your phone, understanding that you can not be bothered today as it was going to be a long day, although you knew you were not going to be accomplishing much. Your body is tense, body feeling the pressure of what was weighing on your mind.

Your bedroom is slightly cold, making it even more difficult to try to begin to get out of bed. Sinking back into your soft mattress, pulling the comforter higher to fully engulf you in your bed. Secretly wishing the bed would swallow you whole. The sun is starting to rise but the curtains have been pulled shut, not allowing any light to peek through.

You can only relate the sun trying to shine through a dark curtain to you and Alessia’s relationship. Your mind forcing you to believe you deserved nothing, and especially not someone as special as Alessia. You knew deep down she deserved someone who could be there for her like she is always there for you, feeling like a chore for her, just like your previous partner said.

Meanwhile Alessia’s good morning text was left unanswered. Hoping you were just sleeping in. After training was over, she sent you another text. Again, left unanswered. Returning home, slight panic has set in for Alessia. She can not recall you being upset with her so your radio silence was a bit weary for her.

In your home, you still had not left your bed. Yet to get dressed, brush your hair, even skipping both breakfast and lunch as you are somewhat aware that it is about midday. Your life experiences have brought you a gift of grief and anxieties that you sometimes feel you can’t explain. You wouldn’t necessarily describe yourself as depressed but there are hard days, days where you felt your brain in overdrive. Not fully comfortable with the idea of trying to explain what clouded your brain so often to a therapist. Previous partners portrayed to you that therapy was for ‘babies’ or ‘not needed, be happy’.

Alessia anger has turned to panic, an unease feeling settling in her stomach. Trying to reach you through a phone call but it went straight to voicemail. Her need to check up on you and make sure you are okay now consumes her. She has decided that she need to makes her way over to your house.

You wake up slightly to a soft knock on your door but you are in no state to see who is at your porch. Secretly hoping whoever is here will think you are not home and will leave.

Alessia can see your car in the driveway, so she knows you are home. Her heart breaks a little thinking you were deliberately ignoring her. Knowing where you keep your spare key after mentioning it to her when you first started seeing each other, Alessia unlocks the door and prepares herself to what she is going to see, not knowing what has happened. Entering the doorway, Alessia sees no sign of life in your living room, making her way towards your bedroom.

Sound asleep, you are unaware that Alessia has entered your home. Another soft knock on your bedroom door startles you a bit, now worried who was in your house.

“Hello?” you hear Alessia’s soft voice ring out as she slowly opens your door.

Inside your bedroom, she finds you in bed, comforter pulled over your head. She can tell you have yet to leave your room although the day has turned to night, but that was not of importance right now, her main objective is to figure out what is wrong.

Knowing that the intruder is Alessia, you now feel more panicked than ever. Thoughts running through your brain at light speed. She can’t see you like this. She will leave you, they all leave eventually, and you will be alone, all alone. But that is what you deserved, you were simply unlovable. Tears immediately taking over.

Alessia can hear your soft sobs as she makes her way towards your bed. You have yet to make eye contact with her, knowing the second you do, she will ultimately realize you are too much, something she can’t handle. You quickly turn away from her, turning on your side.

Alessia takes precaution before lying on the bed beside you, trying to decide what to say next. “Baby?” she whispers.

Your sobs rattle through your body, breathing quickly becoming uneven. Tears are now unstoppable, body slightly shaking. Alessia takes immediate notice, understanding you are having a panic attack. Alessia’s caring nature takes over as she carefully slides in behind you, putting your back to her front.

“Baby, I need you to breathe, baby please.” Alessia says.

The sudden surge of comfort of being in Alessia’s arms helps your body relax into hers but your brain still in panic mode. Your thoughts are completely clouded and your mind is blurry.

Alessia begins to rub small circles on your back and shoulders as she tries to calm you down. She can feel your body react to her touch.

“Love, breathe with me, can you do that baby, breathe with me.” she says out as you try to nod your head to her words.

“Okay baby, deep breath in.” It takes everything in your body to try to focus on your breathing, trying so hard to take a long breathe in, listening carefully to Alessia’s words.

“Okay now baby take a deep breathe out.” she says as you release the air from your chest. Alessia repeats her soft words over and over until you start to become less panicked, breathing becoming more regular and your shaking body has settled, quietness falls over the room.

Alessia is first to break the silence.

“Do you want to talk?” she asks, desperate to understand what is wrong.

Your lips quiver as you try to speak. “You deserve better.” is all you can manage to say.

“Baby what are you talking about?” confusion has set in for Alessia.

You are now able to turn towards her as she takes in your red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks, heart breaking in two. She immediately wipes a single tear falling from your eye.

“I am a mess. I have these thoughts that make me question how someone could possibly love me. You deserve someone who can be there for you. I wake up on days like this and I can’t be there for you like you are there for me. I have problems that I can’t explain.” you sob out.

Alessia listens to you and your words and you couldn’t be more wrong in her eyes. To her, you are more than enough. To her, you were her everything.

“Baby, you are perfect to me. Everyone has bad days, days where life is hard. That does not make you a terrible girlfriend to have feelings. I love you, all of you, the good days and the bad days.” she tried to convey to you, desperately hoping you understand what she is saying.

“You don’t mean that. You can say these things but I feel like I am not there for you like you are there for me. Alessia you deserve the best.” you reply back.

“You were the first person to comfort me after the Man United game after the fans were relentless, you are the first person to text me every morning and right before I go to bed, you send me flowers every game day. The list goes on and on for how you support me baby, how you are there for me.” she rambles out.

Your heart swells at hearing Alessia speak about how you support her, especially when you felt the opposite. The dark cloud over your brain has started to disintegrate. Slightly confused at your feelings, because you brain forces you to think a certain way but Alessia has reinforced her love and adoration for you. You start to settle, feeling a bit lost by the fact that your mind has played a trick on you.

“Alessia I am so sorry” is all you can manage out. A quick wave of regret falling over you as you now come to full circle and realize how you might look and sound. “When I woke up, I had this overwhelming anxiety and fear, I turned my phone off and spent the day in bed.” you say to her as you relax back to her front, Alessia wrapping her strong arms around you.

“It is okay love, the next time you feel this way, I want you to tell me, communicate that to me, we can talk it through baby. You don’t have to do this alone.” she tell you as she runs her arms up and down your side trying to comfort you.

The sudden rush of emotions have made you incredibly tired. Alessia continues to massage your body as you fall into a deep sleep, occasionally placing soft kisses on your temple.

“Love you baby” is the last thing you hear before you are out.

#woso x reader #woso one shot #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso blurbs #woso community #woso soccer #woso #alessia russo x y/n #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo #awfc x reader #awfc imagine #awfc

109 notes · View notes