#can you tell that i just REALLY fucking love rose tico

[abbonation]

State Champs!

Wherein Kylo is a hockey player and you give him a congratulations prize in the locker room!

2.9k words, only loosely edited <3

Chitter chattering, laughing and suddenly- loud rock music, horns honking and cheering erupts from every corner of the mid sized ice rink. The loud sound of stomping draws nearer and I look over to my right, out of the corner of the room here they come. God damn, they were a sight to behold. Each and every one is strong and thick with muscles. Mine especially, I can tell it’s him not only by the way the black pants hug his thick fucking thighs and that dark, raven hair peeking under his helmet- but by his jersey, too: SOLO 80 it reads. 

I watch their skates slice open the fresh ice as they make their way over to their benches- all high fives and fake punches. I spot Vicrul and Ushar too, sidled up next to him. I like to call them 'The Knights’ ‘cause of the way they stand at attention before and during a game. So serious.. it’s cute. I notice Kylo- that’s what he’s going by these days- look out over the crowd seeking my face. I make him search for a second before I stand up and wave to him, and when I squint I can see him smile as he waves back. I wanna lift my shirt up and flash him, he looks so damn good in that uniform I can barely stand it, but I resist. Mostly because it’s really fucking cold in here. Did I mention that already?

After the home team settles in, out comes the other finalist team from their corner- Kylo and I like to call them the Resistance since they just can’t seem to follow the rules and play the game fair, sometimes we just call them cheating dick eaters, though. I have to admit- they look hot too, is it the uniforms? The helmets? Maybe all of the above. I see DAMERON 17 and FINN 32, I recognize them from the last time Kylo played them. 

The game begins as normal as any other- except for the fact that this is finals and not only is there a huge ass trophy at stake, but the title of state champs! This year is Kylo’s first as team captain, so, of course, he has to be the very best at this. Absolutely nooo room for failure, just like everywhere else in his life. I cheer along with the crowd as TRUDGEN 44 on our team makes a goal, and boo as loud as I can when SKYWALKER 02, also known as Rey, also known as Kylos mortal enemy, scores back. 

Phasma guards that damn goal within an inch of her life, though, and blocks more than enough tries to keep the score even, TICO 57, Rose is her first name, I think, on the Resistance team slams into Ushar knocking him up against the glass partition when he goes to knock the puck up the rink; he stumbles and falls but hey- most is fair in love and hockey so the refs don’t call it, even if it is pretty cheeky of her. As time ticks down and the score stays pretty much even, I watch Kylo intently. He’s stayed mostly out of the way during this game, which is out of the ordinary, but when the last ten minutes begin he pounds his fist into the opposite palm and I feel my cunt clench in excitement.

Time for the final face off. Rey and Kylo stand head to head as the ref tosses up the puck, it’s knocked to the left by Rey and off they go, down the rink and back up twice before Kylo catches a break away and leaves the pack- gliding up the ice to their goal. Poe bends at the knees and sticks his arms out blocking the puck, Vicrul swoops from around the goal and sweeps the puck back out mid rink, Kylo makes to knock it in when Rey checks him from behind and he flies off balance, falling and hitting his helmet on the wall ahead. Of course– of course she commits an illegal fucking move at the last second thinking she’d get away with it. 

I stand up and start towards the stairs when Kylo doesn’t immediately get up, I knew this was a bad idea. Oh my god, has he passed out?! Good god I’m literally going to kill her. 

Oh wait, a hand in the air- okay. He’s okay. Good. That bitch. 

His hand is in the air and he’s waving that he’s okay, it takes a referee and a Knight to heave him up back on his skates. The crows hollers for him and I watch him skate around in slow circles trying to regain confidence in himself. I wish I could run over there for a quick fuck, I mean kiss…

After a couple minutes they’re back to the game, and within a couple more, Kylo makes a winning shot, knocking the puck straight between Poe's legs, the timer chirps and we win! I jump up once again, this time for joy, as the crowd of students and professors alike erupt, what a game! It feels so good to watch Rey and the gang of losers sulk towards the Knights, sticks in hand to do the last tradition of bumping them together on their way back to the respective locker rooms. Kylo and Rey are last in line and I watch as she grabs his wrist, surprising him. She says something to him and pushes him away, moving to catch up with her team. I grab all my blankets and make for the team before the rush of people leaving begins. 

Down by the ice it’s all hugging and “congratulations guys,” and “that pass was awesome, man!” I single Kylo out and sneak up on him, wrapping my arms around his midsection and I feel him grab my arms and turn, “I knew you were there,” he smiles grandly down at me. 

A bashful “Hi!” Is all I can muster.

“Hi,” He’s all smiles tonight, good. He deserves to be. 

“I’m proud of you, you did incredible out there, even with public enemy number one trying to take you out”

He beams, “Thanks honey, but we,” he gestures to the team, “did incredible. I was fine, even after the hit.” 

“Well, it was scary. For a second,” I watch his eyes, they do look a tad hollow. I hope I didn’t burst his bubble.

I’m so elated for him, he looks so sure of himself right now, he’s been so confused and anxious recently, he really needed a boost of confidence. 

“But you showed her what for in the end, amiright guys?” You smile at the rest of the team and they all slap Kylo on the back, Vicrul “missing” and catching his ass. He shouts and smiles, turning back to his team. Nice save, me.

I hear Vicrul talking to the rest of the team, “So Maz’s tavern at like 11 and then what?” 

I want him to go out and have fun, but I really can’t be out that late. I mean, I can.. But who wants to be out until 3 or 4 in the morning hanging out at a stinky ass bar?

“Well, umm- I guess I’ll go ahead out, it was a great game guys,” I start turning to tell Kylo his special goodbye when he pulls me in for a deep kiss.

His soft lips are cold and the icy tip of his nose pokes into my cheek. I feel his hot tongue part those lips and suddenly I’m melting in his arms. I let out a little sound and he grabs onto me tighter. “Don't- uhm, don’t leave yet. Come to the locker room in like ten minutes, kay?” 

Ohhh yes. Fuck yeah, I will be coming to the locker room to get fucked by my hot boyfriend in ten minutes. “Sure honey, see you in a few– bye guys!” I lay another quick kiss on Kylo’s cheek and wave goodbye to the rest of the team and make my fake exit to wait by the small food court. 

I try to look as natural and unassuming as possible while the team rumbles out of the locker room, past the food court towards the doors; then I make my way behind them back towards the men's locker room where I know he’ll be waiting. 

Upon turning the entry way wall, his jersey is bent over removing his skates, so I sneak up behind him and put my cold hands on the tops of his shoulders, “Heyyy, Benny Boy,” I lull out to him.

He jumps slightly but turns around smiling down at me nonetheless. Instantly his lips are on mine, hands rubbing up and down my back. He moves a hand up to hold my head and deepens our kiss. I moan and curl into him, clutching at his hair, when he groans back to me a thrust comes from his hips into my belly and I just can’t wait once I can tell how desperate he is. 

I pull my face back and look at his pinkened cheeks– he blows air through his nose, “I need you literally right fucking now,” his eyes are deep brown with blown out pupils. 

“I need you too, are you sure we can, like- do it here? In the locker room?” As much as I want his cock, I reeeeally don’t wanna get kicked out of college because of my own insatiable cunt.

“Hmm, well, let’s find out..if, if you’re comfortable with that,” he smirks and steps back towards me, hands on my shoulders once again. 

Okay, fear out the window. I’m ready to get fucked. I nod my assent to him and remember my thoughts from earlier and decide to stop before he gets too deep into this. I want to bring him to the edge in a very special way before letting him cum. 

“Ooh uh uh Benny, not so fast,” I shake my head and put my hands on his hips; and begin walking him backwards to a bench against the far wall. When the back of his knees hit the bench he not very gracefully finds a seat, slamming his ass into the hardwood. I drop to my knees and watch him visibly shiver and pull his lip in to bite it. 

I smile up at him and move to kiss his lower thighs above his pants and he immediately starts in, “Fuck- I’ve always wanted to do this with you here, Jeeesus you’re perfect,” He’s grasping for me like I’m made of light itself and he’s staring down into my face in awe.

I move my hands up and down his thighs and over his belly, brushing my lips over his erection and stomach with each move. He thrusts up towards my face, lewd sounds breaking the air of the locker room. 

“You have to be quiet, Kylo. If you want me to suck your cock.”

“Fuck, fuck okay, I- Ican be quiet,” he tips his head back to rest on the wall and it’s the perfect opportunity to pull his pants and shorts down to his knees, he jerks his head up and lifts his ass so I can maneuver them down his tree trunk thighs. 

His velvety thighs covered in short hair are revealed to me and I just can’t help but kiss each inch I see. With each one I lay down his cock twitches through his boxers, and as I remove those too, I see his gorgeous pink dick stand up tall at attention in front of my face. My mouth waters and I look up to make eye contact with him, he’s sucking his lips in his mouth, eyes boring holes into my head. While maintaining eye contact with Kylo’s incredible amber irises I lean forward and suck just the spongy tip into my mouth and those lips fall open and let a loud moan loose. I don’t even care anymore, I just want him to keep making these sounds for me, it doesn’t matter if we get caught. I smile around him and move my head down further, as far as I can go, while keeping my hands on his thighs. He clenches and his balls draw up when I wrap my hands around his length to cover the parts my mouth can’t reach.

We continue like this for a couple minutes, me bringing him close to the edge and then backing down until he’s huffing and puffing, thrusting and begging. He sure is a sight to behold. All  corded musculature clenching and unclenching under my hands. 

“Puh-please, please let me come or something,” He groans out, “I fucking need to come–”

I fake a pout up at him, “But honey- I wanna come too,” I whine and stroke his cock harder. 

His balls draw up again and he moves his hand to my wrist, stopping me from continuing. 

“Fuck yes, okay, sugar- lay down and I’ll make you come. I’m so close.”

I jump up and shimmy off my leggings and stretch out on the bench opposite him, and he stands, pants still around his knees, and jersey hanging just high enough that his cock juts out from beneath it. So. fucking hot. I can feel my pussy clench at the sight, I look him up and down, and- when I reach his face he’s smiling down at me. 

I move to rub my clit and he bites his jersey to hold it up while strokes off. Kylo gets down on his knees and crawls across the tiled floor to where my legs are spread open on the bench- a moth to a flame. Ohh yeah- he knows what his job is. 

“Do you want to suck my clit, Kylo?” I look down at him stroking his cock for me as he kisses my thighs. 

“Yes please,” A near whimper. 

“This is your reward for doing so well tonight during the game.” I smile and run my hand through his hair, pulling him towards my pussy. 

He thrusts his hips up and blushes at me.

“I was good?”

He wants more praise, greedy boy. That’s okay, if I get to watch him jack off and nearly come just from the taste of my pussy, I’ll give him all the praise he wants. 

“Yes, honey, you did wonderfully. You look so powerful out there on the-” I gasp as he hungrily sucks the hood of my clit into his mouth, “Out- out there on the, ice” My eyes roll back as he leans back and spits a glob of saliva down onto my clit and returns those lips back to me. 

He’s slurping and teasing me into another realm and all I can do is keep telling him how good he is- for me, for his team. 

“Fuck yes, fuck Kylo- I’m close, so ssso close,” I’m loosely shoving my hips into his face now, holding him tightly by his hair, and he’s fucking taking it perfectly. 

“Don’t come yet,” The first coherent words I’ve heard from him in about 8 ½ minutes, he quickly stands and rests one knee on the bench, keeping the other planted on the ground, and bends over to lift my hips, effectively pulling me up to the perfect angle for fucking. 

“Yes Kylo, fuck, are you gonna fuck me?” I pant out to him, control be damned I need his cock inside me- now.

“Sugar, I am gonna come so far inside your pussy, so fucking fast.”

“It’s- it’s okay, I want it,” I grasp his bicep and he notches his tip inside. He slides through and seats himself as deep as he can go, and once again I involuntarily groan and roll my eyes back. He does the same and leans forward to kiss me.

“Holy fuck, babe, look at us,” His eyes move to where we’re connected, “Fucking perfect.” He thrusts and I lose consciousness, its fucking amazing, his pubic bone rubs all over my clit, and his cock drags over every spot on my slick walls. 

“Lemme rub your clit,” He murmurs right into my ear, I clench around him in response.

He moves his huge calloused hand between us and skims his fingertips over my nerves. 

“I’m so close Benny, I’m gonna come all over you.” 

“Oh fuck, say it again, please- please say it-,” He closes his eyes and speeds up, he’s about to come too. 

“I’m- gonna fucking come all over your cock, Kylo,” 

“Ohhh fuck,” He whines and thrusts so so hard, a handful of times. He catapults me over the edge with his fingertips and my vision totally blanks out as I thrust and groan and clench around him. He empties himself inside with his head buried in my neck, kissing and licking and I can only try to catch my breath as he heavily gulps above me.

It takes a few minutes to come back down to earth- but when I do, I’m sticky and way too hot, plastered to a hard ass bench by a 250 pound heating pad made of muscle. I run my hands through his dark hair again and whisper, “Hey get off me you’re fucking heavy.” 

He laughs, “Always so romantic,” Kylo grabs a towel from his locker and brings it over to wipe me off, I watch as he carefully manuvers my sensitive lower half, hair completely fucked from where I’ve been yanking on it for the better part of an hour and shorts still around his knees. He’s absolutely glowing- It’s the little things. 

When he’s finished with me, he wipes himself off and grabs his duffel bag, hockey stick and helmet. “C’mon let's get home, I need a shower so damn bad.”

[ofcatnaps-moved]

 ‘Ship Bias’ {curious about your top five!}

send 'ship bias' and i will tell you up to 5 of my preferred ships for a muse !!

elain archeron. - azriel. i know that it's a point of contention for the fandom, but i think az and elain choosing each other despite all odds is something i really love. they're passionate and they developed a tentative friendship even before she was turned fae, and i loved watching her fall in love with him. - lucien vanserra. he's her mate, he's trying to be good to her. they've got a long way to go to reach communication that works for them, but they can work. - eris vanserra. i'm not remotely sorry about this, and i blame @alicxnte almost entirely for this being one of my ships. i love them together, i love their passions. - dorian havilliard. think of how cute this is?? crackship gone wild, and i fucking love elain as queen of adarlan. - ruhn danaan. another crackship where she gets to explore that wildness and freedom that ruhn would offer her. daenerys targaryen. - robb stark. i just... always loved the king in the north with the queen in the east. it's one of those things that has just always resonated with me, and i wish they'd have gotten to meet and learn of one another. - jon snow. i prefer him to be a son of stark and not a targaryen, as i still believe aegon is young griff. so in those instances, i believe they would be a good match. - daario naharis. precious daario who loves her so dearly, who truly would keep picking flowers for her and loving her no matter what. - sansa stark. i love me some queen loving and they would have been an unstoppable duo. - margaery tyrell. like the above, i think dany and marg would have literally taken westeros completely by storm. it's beautiful. rey kenobi. - ben solo. i'm not ashamed of being a filthy reylo, and i have and always will have it as my primary ship for rey. i am especially fond of tlj reylo more than tfa/tros, but that's pretty typical. - finn. they're just *so cute together* and i love them to pieces. i am pretty convinced that finn leans gay but i think he and rey are just... so soft. - poe dameron. in the right circumstances, poe and rey are super cute. - jannah calrissian. i looooove jannah and rey is very gay for her. very gay. - rose tico. cute little engineer ladies being cute and engineery. bryce quinlan. - connor holstrom. i loved connor from the moment i met him and bryceconnor is one of the softest most precious things i ever experienced and i wanted more of them. SO MUCH MORE. - danika fendyr. they're the image of "friends to lovers" pipeline and it deserves more recognition for it. - aidas. the pretty pretty prince of hel has always been fascinated by bryce and she has been fascinated right back. - hunt athalar. mostly from hosab, bc in hoeab i'm still cross at him. she needs time. - tharion ketos. look at them!! look at them!! merboy was so cute and he sent her an otter! padmé amidala-naberrie. - sabé/tsabin. their closeness and care for one another is transcendent and i love them so deeply. i am especially fond of aus where padmé lives. but they have been through so much. - obi-wan kenobi. having them raise luke and leia together is one of the softest verses i have and i really love them. plus... obi was so pretty, how could she not? - dormé. they are so close to one another in their young adult years. she's so loyal.

[kkysolo]

Stuck on You / Chapter One

You curse him for it, sometimes. Loathe him for it - for how he’s made you, his parents, his friends feel. How he’s broken them. Reduced all of you to nothing but fickle fragments that pass through time and space with little awareness, with little recognition, of what’s happening to them. At least, that’s how you feel. But the bitterness, the fury - it doesn’t last long. It never does.

Prologue 

Pairing: Ben Solo|Kylo Ren/Reader Setting: Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, dystopia, modern, gangs. Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, war, gang violence, emotional hurt/angst, codependent relationships (eventual fluff, smut, romance).

A/N: Tense change from past to present because we’re shifting into the present timeline of the story. Also, if you’ve read any of my other work, you’ll know I tend to write in second person omniscient. I love a bit of head-hopping, keeps us on our toes, lol. It won’t appear in this chapter, but bear it in mind for the future. 

Chapter under the cut, and also here, on AO3. 

Summary: The year is 2084.

Despite its advances, society has collapsed on itself. The world is crooked, damaged, dying. Rezoned into new territories, separating the elite from the unworthy. Civilization is crumbling at your very feet, and in the midst of it all, your best friend, Ben Solo, has been missing for three years. You desperately cling to what’s left of him, hoping that he’ll come home, praying that things will fall back into place.

And then he does. And they don’t. Because life is different when you’re a scoundrel in the midst of a class war.

Now: 2084, Spring 

You’ve always hated spring. 

They used to call it the season of new beginnings, and new beginnings were good. But that was before. Now, starting over is nothing more than an expected, quotidian task each time the Empire rezones the land. Which is often. Too often to ever feel at home. Too often to ever really feel as though there’s a new beginning to be had. 

“It was the right thing to do, you know,” Rose smiles sympathetically in that way that she does, the kind of way that doesn’t make you feel pitied, but loved.  “Hm?” “Breaking up with Jon.”  “Oh,” you hadn’t actually given the situation much thought. He’d already retreated the back of your mind, an unimportant speck among an ocean of stress. “Yeah, I know.”  “Because you didn’t love him.” “I know.” “Because you love Ben.” “Rose,” you hiss, your head flying around the dimly lit room. Because that’s all it is, really - a room. They’d outlawed bars (at least, in the rezoned areas) six months ago. Your shabby little makeshift basement bar - ran by Ben’s mother, nonetheless - was an illegal, yet necessary sanctuary. “Would you stop? Someone will hear.” 

“Oh, stop,” she scoffs, taking a sip of highly illegal (and cherished) gin and lemonade. “As if everyone here doesn’t already know.”

“Well it doesn’t matter now, does it?” you mumble, twirling a bottle of beer between your hands. It’s a good one, not badly brewed and watered down. Leia, she gets the good stuff. How she gets it, you aren’t sure. “It’s not like he’s around.”  “He’s not dead,” Rose affirms. “He can’t be.” “What makes you say that?”

Because you believe it, too, you do. He can’t be dead - couldn’t possibly be gone. Because Ben, he’s strong. He’s good and he’s kind and he’s funny and brave and men like him don’t just die unknowingly. Men like him go down in glory - of that, you’re sure. 

“Because it’s Ben,” she shrugs. “He’s supposed to be running this place one day.” 

You nod, still dragging your bottle across the uneven wood of the table. 

“It’ll be awkward, though,” you sigh. “With Jon.” “You think so?” “I mean, yeah,” you lean back in your seat. “He’s still with the Resistance, I’m gonna have to see him all the time.” “Yeah, I mean, maybe missions will be awkward but,” she shrugs. “He’s not an idiot, surely he knows to, you know. Stay away.” 

You hum in agreement, taking a swig from your bottle. Ben would like this beer, you think. It’s bitter, like he likes. 

“Sweetheart,” Leia is behind you now, a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Could I ask a favour?” “Of course.” “Could you watch the place for me tonight?” She has that apologetic expression on her face she so often bears, and it pains you to think of her worrying to ask you something. “Han is home from his mission tonight, and I’d just love to see him, honey.”  “Leia, of course,” you place your hand atop hers. “You deserve all the time together you can get.”

And they do. They’d separated for several months after Ben’s disappearance, neither of them able to cope with the weight of it in a manner that allowed them any semblance of intimacy, any notion of peace. But they’d rekindled as much as they could of their relationship, and despite Han’s long missions, continued to work on it. 

“Thank you, honey,” she smiles softly, squeezing your hand before turning to a demanding patron. She gives so much of herself to so many people, you wonder how there’s any of her left. 

When Leia finally bids you farewell, you’re already shuffling around behind the badly crafted bar, held together precariously by planks and rusted nails. You’re not sure who built it - though you expect it may have been Poe - but you’re surprised it’s still standing after only one week of use. You pull another bottle of gin from a box on the concrete floor, and you scoff at the icy feel of it. The wicked cold from the exposed ground has kept it remarkably cool. You hope you’ll be able to shut the refrigerator off, in that case. It’s far too expensive to run. 

“Here,” you pour Rose another glass. She sits at the bar now, resting her chin in her palm. “Perk up a little, you’ve gotta keep me company.” 

Rose sticks her tongue out playfully. 

“Did you get settled in your new place?” She speaks into her glass and the sound of her voice vibrates through the liquid.

“Mhm,” You sigh, pouring a drink for yourself. It’s your second move of the year already - the Empire having pushed you out of every zone you’ve ever called home. When they come, ships and tie-fighters blackening the sky above you, you’re herded like goats to whatever new (and smaller) zone they deem suitable for nuisances such as you. For peasants such as you. “You?”

“Meh,” she shrugs. “I wish they kept me with you this time. I hate being by myself.” “Me too,” you murmur. And you do. You really do. “But it is what it is.” 

You glance to your left, eyeing the stacks upon stacks of boxes that pile up against the wall. All labelled ‘bottles’, ‘glasses’, ‘coasters’ in Finn’s terrible handwriting. There’s one that sits at the bottom, labelled only ‘our stuff’. Back in the old bar - the real bar - you’d had CD players (the old kind, from decades ago - you couldn’t afford anything else). You’d had string lights and flowers and Sabacc tables. You’d decorated the walls with photos - of you, of Ben, of the resistance. Of the people who owned and worked at the only establishment for fucking miles that conceived any happiness. And it was beautiful. It was perfect. 

“When’s Poe back?” Rose hums.  “I think he’s coming back with Han tonight,” She takes a sip of her drink. “Why?” “I really wish he’d move those fuckin’ boxes,” you grit. “Hide them in the back or something, but I can’t stand the sight of them.” 

Rose nods sympathetically. 

“He will,” She turns, then, as the sound of rain pummels against the ground outside. Though it’s a basement, there’s still windows, the kind that sit more toward the ceiling, the kind that are awfully awkward to open. She squints at them, and your eyes catch how she leans closer to get a better look. 

“You alright?” You lean toward her, resting your elbows against the bar. You can hear how it creaks with the pressure.  “Y-yeah I just,” she drags her eyes away, bringing her attention back to you. “I just thought I saw someone outside.”  “There’s lots of people outside,” you smile. “There always is.”  “No, I know, but they were like…” She looks back to the window. “They were crouching, looking in.” 

You sigh.

“Hopefully not an inspector for the Empire,” Rose turns back to you as you speak, and you smirk at her reassuringly. “That Armitage Hux prick has always had it out for me.” 

She laughs in that airy kind of way that she does, the kind of way that makes you bubble with gratitude - because you know her. You’re fortuitous enough, privileged enough to be around such a light, such an ethereal soul. You often wonder what you ever would have done without her. You often wonder if you’d have survived it - survived this, survived the loss of him, without her. 

“Maybe if you wouldn’t rile him up, he wouldn’t hate you so much.” “But it’s just so much fun to piss him off,” You grin. “He gets so flustered.” 

You stay like that, laughing together, until well after midnight. You’re glad for it, the distraction. You need it, even now. Even after all this time. Being alone - with your thoughts, with the gaping hole that sits inside your chest - doesn’t get any easier. They say time heals all wounds. You wish it would. It’s only made yours worse, only further infected it with spores of him, that burst and spread the ache right down into your bones. You curse him for it, sometimes. Loathe him for it - for how he’s made you, his parents, his friends feel. How he’s broken them. Reduced all of you to nothing but fickle fragments that pass through time and space with little awareness, with little recognition, of what’s happening to them. At least, that’s how you feel. But the bitterness, the fury - it doesn’t last long. It never does. 

When you trudge inside your new apartment (though new doesn’t seem very apt, perhaps crumbling would fit better), you feel him. He’s never been there, of course, but you feel him nonetheless. You feel him everywhere. In everything. And it haunts you - he haunts you. And he has no right to, because you know he’s not dead, he can’t be. 

You run through your nightly routine, finally readying yourself for slumber. You hope you’ll see him there, when you close your eyes and drift from hell into harmony. You hope you’ll find him nestled in the crevices of your subconscious. Because you know he’s there. He’s always there. And when you unlock your front door, when you prop open the windows before crawling under the sheets - you hope he’ll find you here, too. Nestled under the covers, waiting for him. 

And when you fall into deep sleep, into a dream - or a memory - of long ago, a dream of smiles and laughter and his honey-brown eyes, you don’t hear the door as it creaks and clicks open. You don’t hear the windows as they fall shut, the frigid breeze no longer assaulting the room. You don’t hear the footsteps, nor do you hear the breathing - panicked, rushed. 

When you’re asleep, you find him. And when you’re asleep, he finds you.

[babbushka]

Beyond Reasonable Doubt (ch.1)

                                –      A Lawyer AU      –

You and Kylo Ren have hated one another for as long as you can remember. He, a criminal prosecutor, and you, a defense attorney should be natural-born enemies, and you are. But when Kylo comes to you seeking representation after being charged for a murder he didn’t commit, you both learn a thing or two about life, the law, and love…

[5k, no warnings for this first chapter!] 

Available on AO3

                                          ----------------------------

In a world of ever-changing circumstances, where people do things that cause ripples and shocks through the very fabric of society that shake them to their core, where the sun shines and rain falls and snow blows cold through the streets of Manhattan, where there is life and death and a mess of bullshit in between, there was but one thing that you could ever comfortably rely on in life.

Only one thing remained constant in the grand scheme of it all: your alarm.

With a grunt and sigh, your arm extends out from underneath the covers to smack at the loud blaring jingle that sounds from your phone, hand desperately trying to hit the dismiss button without looking so that you don’t have to face the day just yet. It’s too early, you reason, to pull your whole self out from under the covers.

Eventually you give that thought up though, because dammit now you’re awake and it’s Monday morning and you have an office that’s waiting for you uptown. So, ever grudgingly, you throw the plush comforter off of your body and stretch to greet the day, saying good morning to the city that never sleeps.

You don’t usually dread waking up, but well, the last time you’d been in the office was Friday afternoon, after you lost your case.

After you lost your case, to him.

Glancing at the clock on your phone, you chew your lip for a moment or two, before finally turning off the do not disturb function, immediately going into the bathroom to shower and ready yourself for the day while damn near a hundred backlogged notifications make your phone buzz nearly onto the floor.

There’s a small mirror in the shower, a little compact to make sure there’s nothing left on your face after you scrub your skin clean, and you catch your own reflection in it. You’ve looked better, that was for damn sure – but by that same token, you’ve also looked worse. Mondays were shit, but today was gearing up to be an even worse one than normal.

No, you think as you shake your head adamantly, you have no desire to let him soak up any more of your good mood than he had already. So what if you had forgone your entire weekend, canceling plans and ignoring friends to nurse the sting to your pride that was losing? So what if instead of checking your email or your phone, you sat yourself on the couch and wasted two entire days doing nothing but watching shitty shows on Netflix?

What you did on your downtime was nobodies’ business, and since you live alone in your beautiful one-bedroom in SoHo, no one was there to spill your secrets. If anyone asked – not that anyone would, if they knew what was good for them – you would tell them that you absolutely did not spend the weekend wanting to throw darts onto a photo of his face. That wouldn’t be very professional, now would it?

Shutting off the water, you wrap yourself up in a big plush towel, and pad across the floor to your closet. Briefly, ever so briefly, you glance at your phone on your way, holding your breath, wondering, hoping that there might be something from him.

If there is, it’s buried under a pile of emails and text-threads from your firm, so he’ll have to wait.

Manhattan in January was chilly, so you bundle yourself up in your chicest coat overtop your most well-fitting skirt suit and a pair of heeled boots. Even if you felt like shit, you could look like million fuckin’ bucks, and no one would be the wiser.

And what a wonder the power of confidence was! Through the streets and down to the subway, you smiled at everyone, and they all smiled back. You offered your seat on the train to an elderly man who clearly needed it more than you, and he complimented your gloves. Everyone from the NYPD officer drinking his coffee to the mom scolding her three children brightened as you wished them a good morning, and somehow, along the way to work, your Monday blues disappears into something a little brighter.

                                         ----------------------------

Your good mood only continues to grow as you exit the elevator of the huge high-rise that you call your home away from home, your office on the twenty-third floor right in the heart of the Upper West Side. Sandwiched between the Hudson and Central Park, you have to admit that getting your ass out of bed was worth it, even if just for this view.

“Morning (Y/N).” The front desk security guard greets you, and you say hello back to him with a performative show of your badge.

HKS Law, so named after the founders and current partners Amilyn Holdo, Ben Kenobi, and Luke Skywalker, is a shining pinnacle of what defense attorneys and opposing counsel at trials should be. Not only had the firm made history time and time again with incredible wins and even more incredible ultimate losses, but it prided itself on being representation for the people no one else could represent.

Most of all, it had you.

If your alarm was a constant, than this was a universal truth: you are a damn good defense attorney. As you walk through the crisp and clean polished floors, you hold your head high, knowing that this loss against him still put you at the lowest loss rate of anyone in the history of HKS, lower than even the founders themselves.

That little reminder has you grinning to yourself. You’d been working with HKS for nearly six years now, and very quickly you saw your office climbing higher and higher up the skyscraper, saw it getting bigger and bigger. And now, you were nearly positive, that your meeting at eleven o’clock would be to discuss partnership with the firm as a reward for your continued hard work.

“Hey (Y/N)!” One of the associates, Rose Tico smiles at you from where she’s chatting with her sister Paige by their desks.  

“Someone looks like they had a nice weekend.” Paige remarks, and you only wink at them, playing the game.

A game, which becomes instantly easier as your assistant, a bright-eyed intern fresh out of law school appears seemingly out of nowhere.

“(Y/N), good morning!” She is already offering you a cup of something nice and hot, her arm cradling a stack of manilla folders that have all sorts of sticky-note flags on them, that she shifts onto her hip ever so slightly to brush a few loose braids out of her face, speaking at what feels like a million miles a second, “I have your coffee ready and there’s a fresh breakfast buffet in the break room if you’d like, I can get you something – ”

“Good morning Neisha.” You accept the coffee gratefully, but interrupting her only to give her a chance to catch her breath. You check your watch, it’s only half-past seven, she’ll wear herself out if she exerts that much energy first thing. “A bagel with the usual would be perfect, thank you.”

“No problem – oh, Rick wanted you to look over those case files before your eleven-o’clock.” She breathes a sigh of relief, and gives you a smile.

Groaning, you accept the manilla folders too, balancing the coffee cup on top of them as Iman follows you into your own private office. Your assistant stands in front of your desk at the ready, looking sharp and put together, as ever.

One thing that you loved about Neisha – aside from the dozens of things that you admired and appreciated about her – was that you have never ever seen her in something other than a pantsuit. She did not wear dresses or skirts, she was almost never in heels, and she did not carry a purse. Instead, Neisha could almost always be found in a very smart trouser and blazer set, often complete with vests, and fun-colored socks in her loafers to coordinate with her ever-expanding collection of ties.

“Rick can go fuck himself.” You mutter under your breath, and she laughs.

“Should I tell him you said that?” With a playful glimmer in her eye, she crosses her arms over her broad chest.

“Yes.” You wink, before checking your watch once again and reminding her about that, “Bagel?”

“Bagel – right, on it.” Neisha snaps her fingers and leaves, closing the office door behind her.

 You like your office, even if you’ve outgrown it. Much like the rest of the firm, it has stayed up to date with the contemporary interior design of the day. However where the open floor of the firm is mostly whites and silvers and glass, your office feels warmer with shades of coffee browns and creamy neutrals. 

Remembering how you had been so excited for the promotion to your own office, you can’t help but chuckle to yourself now – it really was a small office. It consisted of a long dark brown desk situated in front of a wall-unit bookshelf/display area, and a seating arrangement of matching brown chairs situated around a free-edge wooden coffee-table. A soft rug covers the marble flooring, and cream gauzy curtains cover the windows, but that was about it.

You had been to the offices of the higher ups, you knew just what you could achieve if you made partner – even if you made junior partner.

And if all went well during this meeting at eleven, you knew you’d be moving into one of those offices soon.

For the first time all weekend, you sit down in the big leather chair behind your desk and finally check your phone. The case files remain on your desk, and you know you’ll get to them eventually, but until you’ve had some breakfast and that coffee can work its magic, no one could blame you for scrolling through the shit that you had put off since Friday.

It’s mostly work friends taking your side, which you appreciate. They knew losing a case was hard for you – you didn’t do it very often. And even though you never lost to anyone besides him, it still never got easier.

The case had been a simple one, or at least, you had thought so. Murders are so often simple, either the person did it, or they didn’t. If they did, there’s evidence, and if they didn’t, well, there’s evidence too. And when two parties come forward with their own evidence, compelling, strong fucking evidence – evidence of alibis and proof that your client couldn’t have been there, couldn’t have done it – it’s up to the jury to decide who to believe.

In this case, this jury decided to believe him, and there was nothing you could do about it. It was losses like this, losses like the knowledge than an innocent man was going to prison, that make you seriously question the legal system as a whole, frankly.

It’s then that you see it, and your hand freezes.

You have a missed message from him.

He’s saved in your contacts as the dick from VTH, and even though that could refer to any number of people, you know that it’s him. You have five missed messages from him, as a matter of fact, which sends both a rush of adrenaline through you, as well as a spike of anxiety.

The two of you…you’d never been friends, not really. In fact, the closest thing to a relationship that you might have is that of a rivalry, if not flat out enemies. You hated him, and he hated you, and he had hated you ever since the first day he set eyes on you, from the very first moment you walked into the courtroom as a last-minute addition to the defense counsel, and won the case in fifteen minutes.

Which was a shame, because you often find yourself thinking that if he weren’t such a…well, a dick, there could have been something there. Instead of a friendship, or even a civil acquaintanceship, you have over the years developed something of a hate-fucking-enemies-with-benefits arrangement. He was probably pissed that you ignored him all weekend, but that was okay – let him be pissed, you were pissed too.

You don’t open his messages, not yet. You’d need coffee in you and food in your stomach before you’re able to handle whatever mood he has to be in, now that you’ve got the energy to deal with him.

You’re so deep in thought that you nearly miss when Neisha returns with a plate for you, a big spread arranged on your desk for you to enjoy. You’re about to thank her and let her get on with whatever work she has to do, but she holds out a newsletter with a devious smile and curiosity gets the better of you.

“Have you seen?” She asks, and you raise a brow, a smile of your own creeping across your face.

The newsletter was something that circulated through the different firms in the area, keeping everyone up to date – or at least as up to date as legally possible – on the goings on in the sphere of influence that you all found yourselves in. Everything from congratulatory memos to case results, and even high profile celebrity gossip was fair game, but one of the more scandalous parts of the newsletter, was the publication of trouble that various lawyers found themselves in.

The Monday morning newsletter had quite a bit of this from over the weekend, and right there on page sixteen, is none other than his face looking as irritated as he possibly can, as he’s being given a hard time for a DUI on Friday night.

“Oh fuck.” Your eyes widen, wanting nothing more than to call him and yell at him for being a fucking idiot, “What the hell does he think he’s doing?”

“Whatever he wants, evidently.” Neisha shrugs, no doubt thinking the news would cheer you up in some sort of vengeful way that you appreciate. She reaches for a pumpernickel crisp from the spread on your desk and muses, “I bet the cops are thrilled, they hate that sonofabitch.”

“Yeah them and me both.” You mutter, already rubbing away a headache that’s starting to form across the expanse of your forehead. “He’s not going to be pleased about that photo, he looks rumpled.”

Sighing, you look down at the photo. He’s very clearly intoxicated, you’ve seen that look in his eyes more than once, the blurry out of focused glassy look that he gives you over smiles at dinner sometimes. You blink away the image of him in a nice suit on the other end of a table, reminding yourself that you’re angry with him.

“Doesn’t he have a driver? I wonder why he got behind the wheel himself.” Neisha continues, and bless her you think, for continually giving you a means to not be left alone with your thoughts.

“If there’s one thing I know about that man, it’s that when he sets him mind to something, no one is going to stop him from doing it.” You reply, not able to ignore a bit of gut-wrenching regret.

Maybe if you hadn’t been so mad at him, you could’ve gone with him to wherever he was coming back from, and maybe you could’ve --

“Should I have this framed?” Neisha asks, and you blink again.

You check your watch, it’s only a quarter ‘til eight. Have you really only been at work for fifteen minutes? That stack of folders sits on the edge of your desk, taunting you. You’re gearing up for an extra long day.

“No, that’s okay.” You shake your head, opening the bottom drawer of your desk and dropping the newsletter into it. “I will keep a hold onto it though. Just for fun.”

With a laugh, Neisha leaves and once again closes your office door.

“God dammit.” You grumble, pulling your phone out yet again.

The unread messages from him sit buried beneath thirty other messages that don’t warrant responses, and you hover your thumb over his name.

After all these years, something about getting a text from him made your heart jump. It felt stupid, you weren’t some teenager with a crush in high school, you were an adult, and this was just another adult, who you happened to have developed some sort of attachment to. Not a friendship, or a relationship even, but some kind of attachment.

Right now, you wanted to bitch at him for getting himself into trouble, for driving while he was so very clearly drunk, a whole argument prepared about how he could have seriously hurt or even killed someone, how even though he’s a rich asshole he can’t afford to be so reckless.

But first, in order to bitch at him, you have to read what he’s sent you over the weekend, and that’s where you keep tripping up. You don’t know why, but when you do finally open up his texts, you find that you’re holding your breath until you read them.

You try to ignore the way the thread starts out, try to ignore how if anyone were to squint, they might think something was going on between you two.

 Incoming: [1/8 6:03am] just picking up croissants from that place u like. jam?

[1/8 6:10am] Yeah, raspberry if they have

Incoming: [1/8 6:11am] on it, go back 2 bed.

 That had been just over a week ago, and you remember the day well, how you exchanged smiles over bites of fresh and flaky pastry, how you had dipped the croissants into hot chocolate in his bed, not giving a fuck about the crumbs that weren’t your problem because they weren’t your sheets.

How that was the last time you had seen him, before the conclusion of the case.

Now, now that you’d lost, the tone of the thread has very clearly shifted to something much colder. One thing you’re surprised to see though, is that they’re all from around Friday night, which was unusual.

 Incoming: [1/15 7:43pm] going out 2 celebrate tonight, join me

Incoming: [1/15 8:57pm] u can’t ignore me forever u know

Incoming: [1/16 12:02am] i’m glad u didn’t come, ud fucking hate it here. theyre playing music 2 loud

Incoming: [1/16 12:15am] r u seriously still mad?

Incoming: [1/16 1:09am] Fuck you.

 Rolling your eyes, you rub away more of that headache that starts to form. It was weird that he didn’t text you at all for the whole day of Saturday, or Sunday for that matter. If you didn’t spend the weekend together, he was very content to simply blow your phone up with links to random bullshit or long text conversations in broken grammar because his thumbs were too big for the buttons.

So for there to be radio silence after one o’clock in the morning was strange.

“For fucks sake.” You find yourself texting him back without even thinking about it, your fingers moving over the keyboard easily and quickly, sending off a slightly antagonizing reply after two days of nothing;

 [1/18 7:55am] Looks like you had quite the night on Friday.

 There, you think. That should get a response out of him. No doubt he would be quick to complain about how he had been pulled over and the whole nine yards. You wait for it to come through, the text. Or more accurately, the string of impassioned paragraphs that he tends to send you.

But a minute go by, and there’s nothing.

Five minutes, and nothing still.

You know you have to work, you have shit to do, you have that big meeting in a couple hours that you have to mentally prepare for, there’s no time to be worrying about him not texting you back. Still, you don’t like the silence. Sure that makes you a hypocrite, but he deserved your cold shoulder for beating you in court. At least, that’s how you justify it for yourself.

Getting up from your desk, you hover in the doorframe, where your assistant’s desk sits just outside to act as a buffer for anyone wanting to bother you.

“Hey Neisha?” You ask quietly, getting her attention, “I haven’t missed any calls, have I?”

A crease of confusion dips between her brows as she frowns, and immediately she checks the call logs on the conference phone that sits on her desk next to the big computer that takes up most of her space.

“No not that I can think of, are you expecting someone – ?”

Just as she’s asking, the phone rings. You lean over and see the number is one you don’t recognize, and you frown too.

“Better get that.” Neisha says awkwardly, so you just nod and retreat back into your own office from where you came.

It’s been seven minutes now, and there’s still nothing from him.

“Fine, fuck you too.” You mutter at the phone, locking it and putting it in the shallow drawer of your desk so you can focus on the folders in front of you finally.

 The stack is pretty normal, all the weekend material finally coming in now that it’s the start of a new week. There’s new case files to look through to decide if you’re doing to accept the client, supplementary material from old case files that you’ve asked for to review, notes and evidence belonging to associates’ cases that you said you’d give your opinion on – all mixed into one big pile.

You liked it though, liked staying busy. It was a good distraction from a loss, the ability to win, the ability to prove to yourself and to the world that you’re good at what you do. There are all sorts of awards and pieces of paper displayed on the walls of your office that show that you’re good, but still, there’s nothing like a strong win after a frustrating loss.

But you’re not even halfway through reading the first folder, when Neisha knocks on your door and opens it slowly, a look of preemptive apology on her face.

“I’m afraid you’re going to need to cancel your eleven o’clock.” She says, and you can tell by the tone of her voice that there’s no use in trying to argue with her.

You let the folder fall down onto the desk, and brace yourself for whatever bombshell she’s about to drop on you, what could possibly be so important for you to have to reschedule one of the biggest meetings of your career. They would understand, you’re sure.

You hope, anyway.

“Who is it?” Your tone is already filled with dread, but a resigned kind of dread, knowing that whatever it must be, it has to be big, and you’re the only one in this entire fucking firm who can handle big things like this – it was the reason they wanted you for partner in the first place.

But Neisha hesitates with this response, scratches the back of her neck in a way that makes you instantly curious.

“I…I was instructed not to say, just that you’ve been requested to meet with them regarding representation.” She tells you, and now your headache pounds even harder.

Clients didn’t withhold their identity from you; some used an alias of course, but you can’t say that so far in your career you’ve had a completely anonymous client. Whoever this person was, had to either be royalty, or something very very close.

And though that meant there was going to be a nightmare of a trial – because these high profile people almost never got to simple settle, not when the prosecutor wants to make a show of prosecuting them – you can’t help but think that would be a pretty good notch in your beltloop, as it were.

“Alright, where are they?” You’re already up and away from your desk, shuffling the case files into a locked cabinet.

“Rikers.” She says straight away, and you let out a groan.

“Of course they are.”

You had almost hoped that whoever this mystery client was, they had posted bail and could meet at a nice neutral location. You didn’t have anything against Rikers personally, but rather the entire prison industrial complex as a whole, and as far as New York prisons went, there were few more infamous for being unnecessarily brutal than Rikers Island.

“I can call them back and tell them you’re busy…but they sounded adamant about wanting you in particular.” Neisha nudges gently, and really there’s no need to butter you up, you’ve already made up your mind.

“I’m guessing they didn’t tell you why?” You ask, even though you know the answer.

“Correct.” She replies with a sheepish shrug.

You look at her, at your watch, at your phone screen which shows no new notifications from the last time that you checked it, and you square your shoulders.  

“Alright, reschedule the eleven o’clock, and let’s get out of here before Holdo freaks the fuck out on me for that.” You say, grabbing your coffee and a few more of the pastries to take in the car with you for the drive.

                                           ----------------------------

Most times, you have no problem taking the subway wherever you need to get, but visiting Rikers wasn’t as easy as hopping off the train and walking a couple blocks. For times like these, you and Neisha take one of the company cars, a sleek and shiny black thing with dark tinted windows. Cars really aren’t practical in the city, which is why you don’t have one of your own, but it was nice to be driven around from time to time in the peace and quiet of a car like this.

Normally, visitors are not allowed on Mondays or Tuesdays, but you’re not a normal person, and you’re not here for a normal visit, so once you pass through the security gate, the K-9 unit and the metal detector security tests with ease, you find it a pretty quiet lobby.

“Good afternoon Ms. (L/N), here on official duty?” One of the correctional officers that sits up by the front visitation desk beams at you.

“No, I just missed you Jake.” You reply, fishing out your identification for him even though he really doesn’t need it. Jake has worked there only a year or so, and every time you see him you can’t help but think he’s young, too young for this job, you think, too young to become desensitized to the humanity of incarcerated individuals. But that’s not a conversation that you’re here to have today, so instead you keep up the chitchat with, “How’s Lottie and the kids?”

“They’re good, who are you here for?” Jake asks as a matter of protocol, and you give Neisha a look, before looking back at him.

“That’s just the thing, I don’t know. I wasn’t informed for confidentiality reasons.” You try to explain, before leaning forward and mock-whispering to him, “Please tell me someone has me on the list and I didn’t drive all this way for nothing.”

Jake laughs, a sound that feels out of place in a place like this, and pulls something up on his computer. You can’t really see it, the list, and that’s okay. Whoever this mysterious person is, you’ll find out within just a few minutes.

“You know the drill, they’re waiting for you in the back.” Jake waves you off, and you’re glad to go.

“Wait out here.” You tell Neisha, who clearly looks uncomfortable even being in the lobby, and with good reason. She doesn’t argue you on that, instead takes a seat on a bench near Jake’s table, and the two of them get to chatting while your boots click on the floors as you walk away.

There’s a couple different visitation areas in the jail, and the deeper into the building you go, the more that you’re glad that visitation isn’t allowed on Mondays. You don’t want the chance of running into someone that you had failed. Granted there had only been a handful of those instances, but the thought of any one of them being here is not outside the realm of possibility.

Through the sea of empty tables and chairs that are reserved for long term inmates who happen to have visitation privileges for good behavior, you find yourself moving deeper and deeper, until you’re at the door of another room, a closed off one more typical to that seen in movies and television shows.

Opening the door, you hang in the hallway to confirm that there’s no one else there, as there shouldn’t be. There’s eight stations, four on each side of the small room, with a phone and a pane of bulletproof glass. Right away, you have a feeling this is going to be a murder trial, if they’re not even letting you meet with the client out in the open, if they’re monitoring the phone conversation that you’re about to have.

You see a shuffle of movement out of the corner of your eye, and assume that that’s who you’re here to meet, so with your chin held high, you step into the room, and make your way to the visitation booth where a man in a bright orange jumpsuit is waiting on the other side of the glass.

Stopping as quickly as you’ve started, you stand frozen in the middle of the room, blinking away and desperately shoving aside a wave of feelings that have crashed over you at the familiar face behind the glass.

The dark hair, the deep eyes, that proud nose, those full lips, you take it all in with some strange sense of disbelief – surely this must be a dream? It has to be, even as you sit on the little stool and yank the phone off the wall, shoving it against your ear, not even knowing where to start as you try to wrap your mind around the fact that the man, this mystery client…

“Hey sweetheart.” He says, and you could smack him upside the head if only there weren’t this glass between you and Kylo Ren.

                                         ----------------------------

Tagging some pals, please let me know if you’d like to be added to or taken off the taglist! @safarigirlsp​ @steeevienicks​ @mochabucky​ @sacklerscumrag​ @artsymaddie​ @bitchydecisions​ @direnightshade​ @reyloaddict55​ @kylorenswhxre​ @sunflowersinthesnow​ @mousemakingjam @the-unmanaged-mischief​ @drake-bells-waxed-penis @littleevilme13 @rennaissance-mama @materialisthicc​ 

[luminouspoes]

pick a place to rest your head

summary: when poe returns from a mission, he discovers something happened while he was away, and tries to cheer you up

content: implied/referenced ableism, shutdown, references to panic attacks (not shown), autistic!reader, no pronouns used iirc, swearing

read on ao3

It’s well past sundown when Poe finally finds you. He’d returned that afternoon from a pretty successful mission with Black Squadron and was surprised your face wasn’t among the crowd that greeted them: you were usually the first at Black One, pushing through the ground crews apologetically to hurl yourself into his arms for one of his traditional spinny hugs.

After the debriefing with Leia, he’d searched through the base for you, investigating all your favorite haunts. You were a creature of habit, which he loved, and often stuck to yourself aside from a handful of close friends - himself, Rose Tico, Kaydel, and the rest of Black Squadron namely - you hung with.

It wasn’t that you were shy, because you definitely weren’t that (you were fierce, a little smug, and as much a smartass as he was), it was that you were selective towards letting your guard down around people, letting people see you as more than just a quiet, obedient medic and part-time comms officer.

He’d asked you once why you did that, and you’d shrugged and refused to meet his eye as you answered, “Most people don’t understand me.”

It took a while for your meaning to dawn on him, the pieces coming to him slowly: how you’d cut yourself off mid-infodump if someone you weren’t familiar with approached you and the squadron, how he’d notice your hands twitching at your sides when something happened on a mission that made you happy (things that would have otherwise made you flap your hands in delight if you’d been in private), the way the sparkle in your eyes would automatically fade as your pulled your expression into a neutral expression around superiors.

Poe wasn’t sure who made you think you had to hide the spark that made you such a wonderful friend and a delight to be around, but he was certain he’d like a word with them because his heart broke a little more every time he watched you shrink in on yourself and dull your colors to fit into the boxes you thought were expected of you.

Unfortunately, the fact that you kept to yourself meant that everyone he’d asked had no idea where you’d been. You were good at avoiding detection like that - a little too good in Poe’s opinion, you’ve startled him more than once by being too kriffin’ quiet coming up behind him - but he finally finds you in an unused hanger.

You’re leaned up against a set of crates, legs drawn up to your chest, eyes closed with a pair of headphones on as you rock slightly to and fro - not to the beat, but to the energy thrumming inside you, overspilling into the action that Poe can’t help but be endeared by (he does it himself all the time, too, understands what it’s like for that energy to overflow).

He crouches down in front of you and taps your knee cap. Your eyes fly open with a start, your headphones falling askew as you jump. Poe winces, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, no, it’s okay - wait,” your eyes go wide and you check the chronometer on your wrist, then back up at him, apologetic. “Shit, I lost track of time, I was gonna meet you on the tarmac -” you make a frustrated noise, halfway between a grunt and a whine, and press the heels of your palms against your eyes, which Poe notes for the first time are shining.

His heart sinks. You’ve been crying.

“Hey, it’s okay, I don’t mind,” still crouched, he shuffles around until he plops down beside you. He extends his arm in invitation and you immediately take it, leaning into him and pressing your face into the fabric of his flight suit.

He curls his arm around your back, squeezing your arm lightly. You’d explained once, sheepishly, that his hugs specifically seemed to help best when you were feeling overwhelmed, and it seemed like something definitely overwhelmed you while he was away. “Meltdown or shutdown?” he asks, lips pressed against the crown of your head. After a beat, he also adds, “Panic attack?”

It takes a long pause for you to respond, and he automatically catalogs this: you were having trouble getting the words out, as well. “Shutdown,” you finally answer, and your voice sounds rough even muffled against the fabric.

He rubs soothing circles against your back. “Are you doing better?”

You nod once, and Poe feels some of his worry ebb away. “You feel like talking about it?”

There’s a drawn-out silence, and he starts to open his mouth to assure you that you don’t have to if you don’t have the energy, but you straighten abruptly. You don’t back out of his grasp though, instead as you righten yourself, you scoot closer to him so your legs are pressed together. “Bad shift.”

“Did a mission go wrong?” Poe asks, tipping his head toward you, brow creased. A few loose strands of curls fall against his forehead.

You shake your head, “Went successfully. New comms officer…” you trail off, eyes falling down to your hands, which you’ve begun wringing together in your lap. “Saw me rocking, said things.”

Poe’s mouth disappears into a thin line, his hand curling into a fist at his side. “What things?”

You shrug slightly, “Teased me.”

“For rocking?” Poe says, voice low. He looks away from you, towards the empty expanse of the hanger, anger blooming in his chest. “Who was it?”

“Does it matter? It’s not gonna change anything. People don’t...they don’t understand me, don’t like the way I do things.” You shrug again, but Poe can hear the emotion thick in your voice, registers the history behind the words, and that just makes him angrier , because the universe shouldn’t do anything but marvel at your light, at the way you view the galaxy.

“Of course it matters, you shouldn’t have to -” he exhales sharply, closing his eyes as he tries to pull the words together. Instead of anything profound, he lands on an eloquent, “Fuck them.”

You blink in surprise at him, and he hurriedly continues, “You’re incredible, alright? Anyone who doesn’t see that or wants to snuff out the spark that makes you you is a jerk, and no better than the guys we’re fighting.”

“Poe -”

“The fact that people don’t understand you says a hell of a lot more about them than it does you, because all they gotta do is stop and listen. They’d see how amazing you are, just like the way me and the others do.”

“You and the others are like me, ” you murmur, but there’s a faint smile playing at your lips and he knows you’re taking his words to heart. “Of course you think that.”

“Even if I wasn’t, I’d still think you’re incredible.”

You chew on your bottom lip, “Really?”

“Really,” Poe assures you, pulling you in for another hug. He presses another kiss to your head, and you snake an arm around his torso. “But I am serious, who was this new officer?”

You twist your head, resting your chin just over his heart to look up at him, “Poe what are you going to do if I tell you?”

“I’m going to take it to the General. Hey, listen...the Resistance stands against all forms of injustice, alright? That includes ableism and we’ve got a lot of neurodivergent and disabled people on this base. We don’t need someone wandering around, making our best feel like shit because they’re an asshole.”

You squint suspiciously at him for a half-second, “Nothing else? You’re not going to try and give them a piece of your mind?”

“Would it be so bad if I did?”

“I don’t need anyone fighting my battles for me, not even you, Dameron. Besides, you get into enough trouble on your own, I don’t need you to start getting into it on my behalf.” You huff, staring plaintively up at him and he tilts his head back to chuckle in disbelief.

“I’m not going to say anything, because the worst thing I can do to this jerk is tell Leia. Trust me, there’s not going to be much left of the guy when she’s done.”

Poe sounds entirely too confident for this to just be an imagined example, and you tap him to get his attention. “Has something like this happened before?”

He hums in affirmation, “Couple of times. They get an ultimatum, either they can be reassigned and work on being a better person, or they can leave.”

At your incredulous look, Poe shrugs. “Like I said, the Resistance is meant to be a safe space, and we take keeping it that way seriously.”

You watch him for a second longer, then a grin creeps up on your face and you twist around so that the back of your head is resting against his chest instead. After a moment, you tell him the officer’s name, and Poe’s absolutely delighted by how smug you sound.

It’s a little while later that you leave the deserted hanger, but there’s a skip in your step as you walk beside him towards the mess for dinner, your hands moving freely as you infodump to him about your favorite book series. Every now and then, your hand motions will slow down in hesitation as someone you don’t recognize passes by, but Poe encourages you to keep going with a smile, and to his immense joy, you do.

After a while, he joins in, sharing facts on different things on the Rebellion that you listen to with rapt attention, asking as many questions about it as he did your book series, and for the time being, the war feels a million lightyears away, and so do ableist pricks.

[jupitermelichios]

What I’d change about Rise of Skywalker

To be clear, these are changes I’d make to the existing script, not what I would have written instead. We can all agree Sheev coming back was, at best, a bit dumb, I’m also fully aware that a lot of people disliked TLJ for a variety of reasons and wanted ros to retconn more stuff, but this is not an attempt to change any of that. I’m taking the basic structure of the movie and shifting stuff around to create something I think is tonally and thematically more in line with the overall trillogy.

Also i’m aware the extended universe is sort of canon-until-proven-otherwise at the moment but as far as i’m concered there was a DC style crisis and it’s now open season on worldbuilding elements

- Starting right at the very beginning, our opening crawl is now just about immortality being one of the secret sith powers Sheev kept hinting about in the prequels

- Our very first sequence in the movie is now a (short) montage of Sheev sending psychic messages to members of the First Order, telling them to join his secret sith club. It’s not just Kylo, this is a thing he’s just generally doing, Hux, Pryde, Kylo, random Storm Trooper number 7, they’re all getting this same message.

- Kylo buggers off to go murder Sheev, because Snoke never actually let him graduate (or whatever modern sith do) so he’s not actually a sith lord, but he’s like ah, new/old sith lord is in town, I go kill him and I get to take his title by right of conquest rule of one styley, and also take out a threat to my power base. Also in the one scene we see of him interacting with the first order it’s pretty clear he actually really fucking hates being in charge, so a mission to kill Sheev is looking super win-win

- The reason Exigor is sacred to the Sith now, the reason Palpatine’s able to communicate accross planets, and the reason he’s still alive (ish) are all the same - the planet “has a heart... oF KAIIIBURRRRRR!” (yes the line should be delivered exactly like that) that amplified force powers

- Instead of just being Ian McDermott in white facepaint, Sheev’s design draws heavily on Darth Nihilus or Darth Sion, his body is dead or maybe nonexistant depending on how gross they’re prepared to go. The point is, the answer to the question ‘how the fuck did he survive?’ should be essentially ‘he didn’t’; he’s a consiousness and a fuckton of willpower and not much else

- We establish a temple/cult in this universe that worships twin gods and are generally all about balance and shit coming in twos and they think force diads are sacred. I’m thinking someone at the temple has resistance information, and when Rey and Poe visit, Poe goes to talk to the contact while Rey meditates and sees Luke’s ghost who tells her how he and Leia came here together and about their belief system and how there are different ways of connecting to the force than just being a jedi, setting up the plot point of the diad, our theme of ‘the people we love are never really gone’, and also laying the groundwork for what’s going to be a second theme of building something new rather than repeating the mistakes of the past, by establishing the sith/jedi dichotomy isn’t the only possible path to take.

- Rose and Finn are bored and stuck on base while their friends are on this mission, so when they get a distress call from a minor First Order base they go off to investigate. They find Hux, who’s been ousted in a coup in favour of the First Order just straight up following Sheev after Kylo wondered off, who promises them information. At this base, Finn also sees some young storm trooper cadets.

- Back at the rebel base they all meet up and Hux (who they’ve taken prisoner) tells them about Sheev being back, which they didn’t know about because he’s only been speaking to bad guys.

- Leia is already dying, Rey is super upset about it and during an accidental mind share, Kylo finds out and tells her Sidious knows how to heal people by transferring life energy from one person to another. The healing thing is specifically a Sith power this go around. We get a moment pretty soon after during a mission where someone gets injured, probably Finn, and she figures out how to heal them based on the hints Kylo gave her

- Also this time Leia still isn’t a jedi but not because of a prophesy, it’s because she disagrees with their philosophy, which is going to be relevant later. We get a line to the effect that ‘Luke didn’t grow up surrounded by the legacy of the Jedi’s failings, I did’

- The weird knife thing isnt anymore, it’s just a hollicron now, and the whole bit with both Lando and Rey’s parents and the bonty hunter are removed to give us breathing room elsewhere, it’s just a more tradtional fetch quest now.

- In order to get the holicron translated, Poe’s like “you’re not going to like this, but I maybe know a guy from doing undercover missions”, and takes them to Black Sun to speak to Darth Maul, that’s right, Darth Maul is here now, and he helps them because his prosthetics are breaking down and Rose fixes them and saves his life. Also he’s pretty pissed at Sheev for getting him killed so he’s totally chill with them killing the guy.

- The Hollicron tells them that the last known map to Exigor was stored in the archives of the temple of Corisant.

- They go to the ruins of the temple, a place that is both nostaligic and also has actual character significance to kylo and ties into our theme of how the jedi and the sith are both a bit shit, and even though it makes more sense for it to have been cleaned up, it’s full of little baby skeletons from Anakin’s massacre, just for the drama of it

- Rey and Kylo fight, he taunts her again with the promise of healing Leia, but this time Rey uses their bond and her knowledge of how to talk to force ghosts to basically force Kylo’s third eye wide open so he’s hearing a hundred force ghosts all at one, stabs him while he’s distracted, heals him, and then she fucks off, leaving him to talk to the force ghost of Anakin, who tells him he’s a moron who’s falling for the same bullshit Sheev used on him

- Rey joins up with the others, but at the Rebel base Hux has managed to escape and shoots Leia (it’s dramatic and she dies saving someone but it’s not actually particularly plot relevant so imagine your own death scene of choice here), and obviously Rey feels it

- At this point the gang split up, Poe and Rose go back the the Rebels because they know they’ll be needed, Finn goes off to rescue the storm trooper kids he saw earlier (yeah I’m adding a subplot what’re you going to do about it), and Rey goes off to fight Palpatine

- In the temple, Leia appears to Kylo as a force ghost while he’s doing dramatic ‘i can’t go on’ kneeling pose and gives him a little pep talk and name drops the title

- Finn goes to the first order base, finds the kids, and the little ones are on board with escaping but then they run into some teenagers who actually have guns and it cuts away on a ‘will they turn him in?” cliffhanger

- Rey arrives in Sheev’s big cave thing, tries to fight him but he’s all ‘the jedi could not defeat me before, what makes you think they can now when you’re barely more than a padawan’ and force lightnings her a bit. They’re not related in this universe, he just wants to steal her lifeforce to heal himself more because she’s powerful

- Turns out that the First Order have been tracking Hux, so they know where the Rebel base is so there’s a big space battle going on, and the First Order don’t even have any fancy secret weapon but there’s a lot of them and there’s not enough Rebel ships left after TLJ. Poe’s up in the air flying even though he’s the boss now, and Rose is on the comms trying to contact allies

"This is the Rebellion, please. In the name of Leia Organa, we're calling you. Please, if there's anyone out there. For Leia Organa, for Luke Skywalker, for Amilyn Holdo, please…" and then when there's no response, in tears, she whispers, "For Rose Tico, please!"

There's a beat of silence, and then the radio crackles to life.

"Rose Tico calls for aid, and Black Sun will answer."

A moment later another, "Leia Organa calls for aid and Cloud City will answer."

and then a moment later, “The Rebellion calls for Aid and the Free Troopers will answer” and we cut to Finn in a stolen First Order ship full of the trooper cadets of all ages.

A makeshift amada joins the fight, same as in the original version, and rose and circular briad crown girl who’s also been trying to call for back up hug in celebration and have a very brief ‘oh wait maybe i’m into you’ moment

- Back on Exigor, Kylo arrives to find Rey on the floor, dying. He takes her hand and we see them as spirits, surrounded by the flickering memories of their lives, they’re seeing one another properly for the first time, and they ackoledge one another as twins via the force (personally i’d make them explicitly siblings, by force if not blood, here to carry on the proud star wars tradition of ambiguously incestuous twins, but that might not fly with disney execs in the the 21st century), and then he gives her his life force to heal her and his last words are a title drop again, mirroring what Leia said to him, because this movie is cheesy as hell

- "The power of the Jedi could have lived in you, as the power of the sith lives in me. But instead you threw it away, for what? For that pathetic little boy? He was no more a true sith than you are a true Jedi!"

"I don't need to be a Jedi. The force is with me, and I am with the force. You have the sith. I have all that was and is and will be!"

Behind her force ghosts begin to appear, but not just jedi. There is as many of the Skywalker clan as we can get (including some reused green screen footage of Carrie Fisher), and Rose's sister, and Han, and people visually implied to be Poe and Finn’s parents, and Holdo, and behind them hundreds of others. Basically if we can afford them, they’re cameoing here, alongside a load of extras. And last of all, standing beside her is Ben.They exchange a look, and then Rey strikes. Palatine tries to force lightning her but it doesn't work, and she presses her hands to his cloak, pulls the life force out if him. Thes a terrible screaming and we see glimpses of the other sith, before they dissipate and the robe falls to the ground.

And obviously the space battle also gets definitively won at the same time, this is movieland, I’m thinking Finn and Poe have to coordinate an attack that relies on Finn using the force is that vague ‘jedi’s are all amazing pilots’ way episodes 1 and 4 both used

Oh and then at the end they’re all celebrating back on the Rebel base, and Finn starts to hit on Rose and she’s like “I’m not the one you want to say that too, also you’re not my type” and smooches circular braid-crown girl who’s been in the background of all these movies with nothing to so

Finn joins Poe and Rey and they all hug in the same ambigiously-poly way they did in the original, and then Poe’s like “I’m sorry about Kylo” kind of awkward because he still hates the guy but he knows Rey doesn’t, and Rey’s like ‘I’m not, the people we love never really leave us’

and then the final scene, Rey is carrying Kylo’s lightsabre and lays Luke’s and Leia’s on the altar of the temple of the twins, and goes to ask the priests to tell her about their religion, with the implication that she’s starting to build her own new version of the jedi

(and if I was disney this would totally be the set up for a new animated series about Rey travelling around the galaxy meeting new weird alien cultures and learning about what cool force powers they have, and the knights of Ren can be the bad guys, and sometimes she’ll come and help Finn and Poe and Rose with trying to rebuild the galaxy. And then they have to take out Black Sun in season 2 and it’s all super dramatic because they were allies sort of and had cameos, and now rey and maul are forced to have super cool spider-legs lightsabre battles instead)

[mnemehoshiko]

STAR WARS INTO DARKNESS

A (Salt) Review of Star Wars Episode 9: The Rise of Skywalker.

Warning 1: All opinions are mine and no one (sadly) paid me for them.

Warning 2: I’m going to strive to be charitable as possible. Keyword, STRIVE.

It finally came. The conclusion to the Skywalker Saga, a nine film series starting with Shmi Skywalker and her lineage. 

When we left the The Last Jedi; Finn was tenderly checking up on Rose who endangered her life to save him. Steadily finding his place in the Resistance and deciding that it was a cause worth fighting for. Ben Solo, also known to the galaxy as Kylo Ren, has just killed his life long abuser but failed to relinquish himself from the ties of the past. Rey was dealing with detaching herself from the idea that she needed to Be Someone in Order to Do Something only to realise that she, a nobody, was good enough. As Leia Organa said, we have all we need.

Cool right?

Yeah, just forget that movie. Actually, just forget like any development that occurred over the last two movies. Furthermore, turn your brain off. No, really please remove any kind of higher cognitive function and any knowledge of Star Wars beyond “pew, pew, pew” and “wOOO”. That’s literally the only way to truly enjoy this film.

This movie is a quest. A long big-budget multi-step fetch quest. Fetch quests are a common part of RPGs and can be enjoyable! Add to the narrative! Interactive. A movie that is nothing but fetch quest after fetch quest to the point that honestly, the first two thirds of the movie could have been dropped because it was so distressingly nonsensical. 

Loose summary; 

Ben Solo is on a planet. Being very very lorge and murking people left and right. Why? Because reasons. That this planet happens to be Mustafar and that he’s killing Vader Cultists evidently is not considered relevant. Even though Ben Solo introduction in TFA, which JJ wrote (with the assistance of Kasdan and Arndt), is basically as Vader’s #1 fanboy. But who cares about narrative information when you have sweet sweet red lighting and like a flight scene.

Anyway, Ben heads to Exegol because evidently that’s where the fancy schmancy totally Not A Holocron is directing him towards. In which he approaches some goth-esque temple with vats of Snokes. Yes, You Heard Correctly, Vats of Snokes. And Palpatine. Who’s just hanging on a crane. Just chillin’ and gleefully tells Ben Solo that he’s been every voice in his head since birth. So learning your abuser is still alive is totally dope. But hey, PALPATINE IS BACK! REMEMBER PALPATINE? ISN’T THAT COOL, yells JJ Terrio desperately trying to like Hype You Up And Remind You Of The Star Wars of Their Childhood.

Finn and Poe “I Have Literally No Purpose To Any of This Narrative and JJ Terrio is About to Fuck Over My Backstory” Dameron are getting data from a contact. For some reason a glorified dick-shaped Alien is there. Consequently, this is the same alien that replaced Rose Tico on merchandise. A reasonable person with minimal brain function would assume it’s because he plays a critical role in the plot.  Remember what I said about thinking? Stop it. Klaud is there primarily for you to admire that JJ’s tentacle kink is Alive and Well and Thus Everything Is True (tm) Star Wars Again. 

Rey is floating surrounded by rocks because That’s What Cool Jedi Do. Then she does a training course because after two films we have absolutely no proof that she has any fight training, according to Reddit and like JJ Terrio is trying to get Reddit to go to the Star Wars Prom with them. So, we need a training montage and Rey going to robo-Leia and saying that she will “earn [Leia’s] brother’s saber”. Why would she want to earn a grumpy curmudgeon who fucked over his only nephew and hid from his twin sister for years? Well, JJ Terrio dreamed of earning Luke’s saber and like what is the purpose of writing other than Wish Fulfillment.

Palpatine is back! Why? We don’t know and we don’t even know what he said because evidently it was decided that it belonged in Fortnite...instead of the film. Why? Here’s a lollipop and a pew pew to stop thinking sweetie. Either way he’s on Exegol and Rey saw notes scribbled in the margins that you need a Sith Holocro-- I mean ~Sith Wayfinder~ --because JJ has never seen Star Wars since he saw it in the theaters in 1983-- to get there. Which is on Pasaana.

WHICH IS HAVING SPACE BURNING MAN RIGHT NOW! (which happens every forty two years. Which is how long ago Star Wars Episode 4 Premiered. Remember fans! Isn’t that a Cool Thing To Drop? says JJ Terrio deftly skimming Reddit in order to gain fanbros love and affection and nostalgia boners.) LOOK AT ALL THE ALIENS DOING THE SPACE MACARENA! Because WOO DON’T YOU LOVE PARTY SCENES?

The force bond shows up and you can some how transfer stuff between the bond? Which like in the hands of another writer would be fascinating and engaging. Sadly, this is a JJ Terrio production and nuanced storytelling and dialogue is Fake and Not Star Wars.

Either way, Ben knows that they’re there and they are running from stormtroopers RIGHT INTO LANDO CALRISSIAN,-- remember him? goes JJ Terrio. You remember Lando right?. I do, I go. I’ve seen the movies and you’ve given no reason why Finn and Rey would know who the fuck he is seeing how he’s evidently been living as a hermit In The Same Outfit for over a decade. (BUT REMEMBER HIM, whines J.J. Terrio. Yes, I do. I SAW THE FUCKING OT JJ).

Anyway, more exposition occurs because JJ Terrio has no understanding how visual language works and it detracts from Real Star Wars Things Like - Space Chases - Pew Pew - Witty quips! because Witty quips! Are Important for A Star Wars, says JJ Terrio.

Nevermind that stormtroopers could fly since the Clone Wars and there’s literally no reason as to why Finn would not know this but like that would require you to give him

- a character arc - character growth - dialogue beyond “WOOOOO” and “REYYYYYY” (also side notes; it was depressing as fuck seeing Finn’s growth in TLJ to going beyond being Rey-centric to only spend the entire movie yelling a White Lady’s Name. I GO TO THE THEATRE TO NOT SEE REALITY, JJ.)

JJ Terrio: BUT HE’S FORCE SENSITIVE?? me, who’s been on the Finn is Force Sensitive Train since TFA: AND YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WITH IT AND IMPLIED THAT IT WAS ONLY REASON HE WAS ABLE TO FIGHT THE STORMTROOPER PROGRAMMING??? (i.e. this is really fucking gross eugenics shit pls stop JJ Terrio and like just stop)

*deep breath*

ANYWAY, where was I? Oh yeah, Star Wars Into Darkness.

Either way, they find the Subtle Knife a Sith dagger? Along with force healing foreshadowing. But they have a dagger! Which They Can’t Read! But Threepio can! But He Can’t Say It Out Loud Because His Programming Forbids It.

And then the KoR, the galatic boy band, and Ben show up because of course. And they capture Chewie and put him on a transport.

Rey, of course, reaches out to Stop The Transport.

Ben, tries to stop her.

They to a back and forth that is similar to TLJ without any of the emotional build up of TLJ but that’s because JJ Terrio believes Emotions Are Not Star Wars.

And she lets loose LIGHTNING and makes the transport blow up and she believes Chewie is dead. Problem: Chewie isn’t dead. Which means she would be able to sense him in the Force. “But Mneme”, you say, “the Force isn’t like a GPS where you just Sense People.” That’s fair! Except....then...she does...when she’s on the Snow Planet. So like???

Either way, we have a Dagger that We Need to Read That Threepio Can’t Say Out Loud.

A Solution That Uses Braincells: well we know that the Millenium Falcon has three droid brains! So like we could just hook up Threepio to like the Falcon and transmit the codes and get some really great Easter eggs re: the Falcon and like the setup of the ship! 

....

JJ Terrio: OR WE COULD GO TO THIS SNOW PLANET me: wha-- JJ Terrio: SNOW PLANET WHERE POE DAMERON RAN SPICE me: did you just make....your Only Latino Character Into A---Drug Runner JJ Terrio: REMEMBER HAN SOLO?? HE’S JUST LIKE HIM!!! me: pls stawp pls, I’m begging you stawp JJ Terrio: ALSO LOOK AT HIM FLIRTING WITH A GIRL SO HE’S LIKE OBVIOUSLY STRAIGHT me: bi....people.....exist...like...that is...a thing JJ TERRIO: ALSO WE’LL SHOW U HER EYES TO SHOW THAT SHE’S HUMAN AND NOT A WEIRD ALIEN BECAUSE POE DAMERON IS A RED BLOODED AMERICAN LIKE REDDIT  me: pls....stop...why....

anyway, he needs a memory wipe in order for it. Which is a really touching scene....or would have been if it wasn’t immediately retconned because like R2 has backups. So like whoo.

So that’s like *two* instances of fakeout death because like Nothing Is Of Consequence Because Star Wars.

Except Leia dying because fuck moms, say JJ Terrio. Moms are Not Star Wars. The Reddit bros have now started to return their text messages.

More busy stuff happens. Hux dies. I wasn’t able to thoroughly enjoy it because by this point I had A Headache from all the Pew Pew and Wooooo~~.

Ben tells Rey that like ~her power is Palpatines power because like How Else Can Rey Be Powerful.” Does this make any sense? Not at all but like Don’t Think Too Hard.

He also finally takes off his stupid helmet that was glued together by ~Sith Alchemy~ that they bought from Space!Michaels.

Rey is vaguely disraught but like She Finally Has A Purpose and the Reddit Bros are Appeased.

More shit happens. Does it matter? Not really.

They meet Jannah! She’s cool and has the exact same backstory as Finn. Because in Star Wars There Are Only (2) Backstories for black characters.  They line up the dagger that is old as fuck with the death star wreckage. Which lines up exactly. Evidently erosion is Not A Thing. 

Finn and Jannah and basically go, Wow Isn’t It Rad That Because We Have The Force We [Finn, Jannah and her crew] Were Able To Reject Brainwashing and Bounce Because We Have The Force.

Rey runs off and Finn yells “REY!!” at some point but at least he knows his best angles while he does it.

Rey meets Dark!Rey who’s a vision....for five seconds. Because Remember if Girls Go Dark They Have Sinned In The Eyes of The Force. Ben shows up and crushes the Holocron because I refuse to call it that stupid-ass name-- dear fucking lord his hand is big--and WELP I GUESS I HAVE THE ONLY ONE.

They fight because We Need A Light Saber Fight Except This One is So Lackluster.

Then Leia reaches out to do something that will use up all her strength says Maz. How does Maz know this? Idk but she’s played by Lupita N’yongo so at least it sounds Deep And Wise because That’s Why You Cast Black People...to sound deep and wise. =_= **deeper breathe**

Anyway, she reaches out to her son! Her son hears her? I think? Either way it distracts him which lets Rey impale him. Except then she heals him?? And is like, I wanted to take your hand, Ben’s hand. which like I’d be fine with if like the movie had like worked for it. But like That Would Involve Actual Conversations Between Characters and We Are Going At 34243242432 pps (parsecs per second) and thus DO NOT HAVE TIme For That.

Ben then has a rehash of the scene from TFA because JJ Terrio is a fucking hack and is unable to create original material and this would have been meaningful if like Any of the Emotions Had Been Earn in The Fucking Film. But hey, I felt .75 of an emotion when Han Solo cradled his cheek so I will accept this. Then he yeets his saber into the ocean. Because. Yeet. Sadly, this movie is Not Over and My Suffering Will Not End

Poe and Finn head back to base with Jannah because I guess that’s what we’re doing? They find out that Leia is dead etc etc etc. The Resistance has a Circle Planning Session for the Final Battle that JJ Terrio lifted straight from ROTJ and the Reddit Bros brought them a corsage for Fanbro Prom. I am reminded that ROTJ was better than this garbage that I Paid Actual Money To Watch. Rey heads to Fish Nun island and decides to pull a Luke Skywalker move even we learned from the Last Movie (TLJ) why that was a Bad Idea but you know WE GET TO SEE LUKE AGAIN IS A GARBAGE WIG BECAUSE REDDIT BROS AMIRITE? We get the most hamfisted performance out of Mark Hamill and I’m just like damn The Last Jedi as a fucking gift and a _Jedi’s weapon is important_ platitude like his dad wasn’t yeeting his saber left and right. But Who Cares About Canon When We Have Pew Pew Pew Pew.

Luke tells her that Yes He And Leia Always Knew She Was A Palpatine which like means - Leia literally did not learn from the Last Time She Obscured Someone’s Parentage and the Fall Out - Actively lied to Rey - Luke actively lied to Rey - jfc this poor girl has been aggressively lied by most of the authority adults in her life??? - HER PARENTS SOLD HER TO PROTECT HER which is such a fucking damning think along with the fact that her parents are idiots and like didn’t think to take her to the new republic and like THERE ARE 23432432 things wrong with this set up but that is a Whole ‘Nother Rant

Also evidently? Leia ended her Jedi Journey (which abbreviated as JJ, coincidence? I THINK NOT.) because she saw her sons demised but evidently....couldn’t sense her son being groomed by Snoke, creation of Palpatine and like this entire movie makes Leia look like an ineffectual idiot?? Like I was really hoping that Leia was going to be able to escape the “Fuck Mom’s” curse of Star Wars BUT I GUESS THAT BECAUSE THAT’S NOT ~true star wars~

Anyway, evidently Leia gave him her saber which I guess she made but no one decided to show that but instead some freakish CGI (that they swore they wouldn’t do) fight scene because like Leia Obviously Isn’t A Real Force User Unless You Use A Lightsaber. The Reddit Bros Nod Sagely. So Rey decides to go to Exegol.....using the Luke’s X-Wing. The Reddit Bros are weeping tears of joy at this point.  The Resistance starts their FINAL ASSAULT! THEY HAVE SPACE HORSES RIDING ON A SHIP BECAUSE DOESN’T THAT LOOK COOL! FINN KIND OF USES THE FORCE. THEY DECIDE TO BLOW UP THE STAR DESTROYERS BECAUSE FUCK CHILD SOLDIERS AMIRITE (rip Finn’s Stormtrooper backstory that JJ constructed that He Couldn’t Even Be Arse To Complete or like Think Of Because Like That Would Be Nuanced Shit but like He Gets to - Jump Over Things! - Run! - Know His Angles - Yell desperately After A White Lady because ahahahahha fuck WOC when there’s white p*ssy on the line AMIRITE?)

Either way they’re in trouble and Poe is dismayed and is like yo i’m sorry we’re doomed. Because...that’s.....what generals do. Give The Fuck Up.  BUT DON’T WORRY LANDO IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY BECAUSE EVIDENTLY WHILE THE GALAXY IGNORED LEIA ORGANA’S PLEAS, THEY LISTENED TO LANDO

(Crack theory: He hit up all his exes.)

Rey flies to Exegol to confront Grandpalps. Who never wanted her dead but to become Empress after spending 2.5 movies wanting her dead via puppet!Snoke. Also kudos to JJ Terrio to making a Sith Temple be so fucking boring and lackluster. That Took Skill.\

ANYWAY SHE SEES HER FRIENDS IN TROUBLE MUCH LIKE IN TLJ and in ROTJ but JJ Terrio really really loves his nostalgia and ROTJ was very very very formative evidently. She’s about to Strike Him Down In Anger And Absorb Grandpapa’s essence in order to save her friends but WAIT WHO IS THIS IDIOT RUNNING IN WITH NO FUCKING PLAN Yes, it is Ben Solo channeling his father. As carrying the blaster that Lando gifted to him in Aftermath but like we can only suppose that because who Needs Convos When You Have Pew Pew Pew~ His former Knights show up (who have also never spoken because hahahahah dialogue? Sounds fake. Also moment of Silence of Rian who kept them alive and used Praetorian guards in TLJ instead because he assumed that JJ made them for a meaningful reason because he was Unaware That JJ Was A Fucking Hack)

Anyway, Rey senses him! They do a super cool force bond moment that actually Pays Off and Rey hands off her saber to Ben. Through the force. It’s dope.

#BenSoloChallenge happens.

[In spite of like No Speaking At All, Adam Driver successfully channels the aura of Han Solo in spite of JJ Terrio desperately Insisting That Poe Dameron is Obviously Han Look He Even Ran Spice!!! Look!!]

Eventually they both stand before Palpatine Ready To Throw Down except in stand Palps leeches the lifeforce from them and then yeets Ben into a pit and Rey collapses.

THEN ALL THE JEDI FROM THE MOVIES AND CLONE WARS INCLUDE AHSOKA WHICH MAKES NO SENSE GIVEN CLONE WARS BUT WHAT EVER DON’T YOU FEEL VALIDATED!!! FANS!!! SCREAMS JJ TERRIO

me: no.

Rey pulls a Wonder Woman move because all you need to do to redirect Force Lightning is cross your light sabers.  Anyway, that effort kills her (or like maybe not? Says Terrio in multiple interviews because men from Harvard Literally Never Shut Up.)

Ben somehow?? Climbs?? Out of the pit?? Under his own power because The Jedi Still Haven’t Forgiven the Skywalker Line for Anakin. Even though Anakin also reached out to Rey? I’m just assuming the soul of St. Maul of the Pit was yelling angry motivational speeches to get him out of the pit while St. Ventress adding sarcasm commentary comparing Ben and his namesake. 

EITHER WAY HE’S OUT OF THE PIT! And is like in agony because Rey is uh in limp ragdoll mode so probably dead? We’re gonna go with dead.

He limps over to her because uh evidently getting yeeted into a pit is Not Good For Ones Health or Limbs.

Ben cradles her in his arms and at that moment I had to Apologize For Everyone I Dragged for Size Kink because Adam Driver is Fucking Large and His Hand is Fucking Huge and I, Mneme, Was Wrong You Are Valid.

*cough* where was I? Ah yes, he’s cradling her in his arms realizing she’s dead and I guess? Channeling the force to heal her. Which it does.

He’s happy! She’s happy!

She says “Ben” breathlessly. 

AND THEN SHE SNOGS HIM LIKE THE AWKWARD VIRGINS THAT THEY ARE.

The Force realizes that a Male Skywalker is Getting A Boner and Goes Nope. And he just collapses and fades away at the same time that Leia fades away because ~symmetry~.  Was a war going on? Uh maybe but like LETS NOT WORRY ABOUT LOGISTICS BUT INSTEAD CUT TO EWOKS!! WE ALL LOVE EWOKS RIGHT!! Rey flies back to Ajan Kloss. Poe, Finn, and Rey hug because this movie is almost over and they can stop trying to sell a non-existent trio created because JJ didn’t have the balls to let Poe stay dead in TFA.

Commander D’Arcy kisses her wife in the background but no one really notices and it was cut in Singapore but like JJ Terrio are Woke AF Y’ALL but not too woke because else they’ll get dumped by Reddit Bros.

No, we are Sadly Not Done.

LETS GO TO A SAND PLANET. No, it’s not Jakku it’s Tatooine~ DON’T YOU GUYS REMEMBER TATOOINE!! go JJ Terrio.

You mean the planet where Anakin Skywalker was a slave, Luke Skywalker desperately wanted to leave, and Leia Organa was put into that humiliated outfit? Yes. I remember.

REY’S HERE TO BURY LUKE AND LEIA’S SABERS HERE!! At the Lars homestead that is somehow intact....in spite of Jawas. 

What wha-- why??, you may ask.

Well Luke never got to show Leia his home planet, goes JJ Terrio. Literally anyone who saw ROTJ.....they were on it in then?? JJ Terrio: i can’t see mariah carey dot gif

Rey also shows off her new lightsaber that was evidently crafted from her staff but we were not shown that  on screen because like It Was Considered To Emotional for this Film.

Then finally some old woman passes by and is like Who are you? Rey: Rey Old Nosy Lady: Rey who? *Rey stares at the Force Ghosts of Luke and Leia looking like her parents* Rey: Rey Skywalker JJ TERRIO: SEEEEE WE DID REY SKYWALKER!!! AREN’T WE COOL me: she took the name of a grumpy old man who rejected her and whom she bounced off with his shit because he was being a dick....OKAY JAN

(ffs they could have let her take the name Organa but like Fuck Women amirite? *DRINKS*)

and yeah that’s it. Kid that was brainwashed as a child was reduced to going WHOOOOO every 5 seconds with no thought regarding his fellow stormtroopers who are still brainwashed.

Kid that was abandoned under the guise of ~love~ and sold to an abusive guardian and struggled and starved for years returns to a planet of sand and yes I know that she is probably going else where but that was a choice they made to have the last shot of her Alone with a Droid staring at the twin suns because JJ Terrio have been doing nothing but spraying nostalgia in my face for just under 2 and a half hours.

Kid who was actively groomed since childhood and only just now released from said clutches but lol can’t atone because he dead now.

Kid who lost her sister to the machine of war is pushed aside because she dared to exist.

and Poe.

The End of the Skywalker Saga y’all.

Bonus: “Uh, Mneme what about Rose?” She got exactly a 76 seconds that she acted her heart out in but evidently seeing a non-submissive Asian woman in Star Wars was too much for people last film so that uh Essentially Cut Her Out. Don’t worry they made sure to give her a quarter of a page in the visual dictionary and the Merry the Hobbit two page spread. So like Don’t Worry The Asian Girl Will Not Hurt You. “Mneme, what as the point of Poe?” Fuck, if I fucking know.

“Uh Mneme, the Only Reason Finn Didn’t Have An Arc Is Because of KYLE RON!!!!” 

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Exhibit C

trust me, it really wasn’t.

[randomeditscreates]

Ready for a rant on The Rise of Skywalker, because I fucking forget some of the things I want to say, so let's continue

#1. Jar Jar Abrams must've hated Rian Johnson movie, because not only does he fix Anakin Lightsaber, but Kylo's mask, and if you remember it was both destroyed when Holdo does the Holdo's maneuver. So both Kylo and Rey must've really wanted these pieces so bad, they manage to get all the pieces. Oh don't forget when Rey went to 'The most unfindable place'[ actual quotes from TLJ, holy crap!] When Luke Skywalker catches the lightsaber, he says and I'm not shitting you, 'A lightsaber deserves more respect' RIP to TLJ remember when Luke literally chucked the lightsaber, Jar Jar really hated TLJ.

#2. Oh and on the mention of the Holdo's maneuver, because apparently Holdo is a hypocrite. Remember when Holdo kept yelling at Poe for his fuck ups, as it's bad odds, because apparently her move was a one in a million chance! And don't give me the crap that it was only Holdo's chance, because don't you remember the OT [Original Trilogy] where they can just jam their ship into other but I guess lightspeed jumping right at the ships was the best choice!

#3. Rose Tico wasn't in this movie and honestly I was pissed, because as much as I loath the writing in TLJ[The Last Jedi] I found her character interesting and someone they could develop but JJ doesn't even remember this character, she has to scan ship's interior structure. Can you tell why I hate this movie, they don't fucking develop anything, and its the last movie.

#4. Poe Dameron character was also destroyed in this movie, remember the fun loving character from the Force Awakens, well apparently he's always grumpy because that doesn't completely destroy his basic character. Then again, Poe is just another example of a meat puppet, they have no motives or personality, they just have to do what the director wants them to do.

#5. For anyone who is trying to defend this movie or heaven forgive, the characters, can I please ask you to rewatch the OT and then try to make those comments again. I have no qualms of people having opposing views but I will state my views and you can either agree or disagree, it will not affect me in any way. But I will not except people using the Issues of The OT as an excuse for the the New Trilogy, the issue's in the OT are either miniscule or don't ruin the movie going experience, for the New Trilogy it does!

#6. I just had to let that go as I make an amend, The writer of the ROS did state that Ashoka Atonna, was in fact dead but she could appear in other Star War product, I honestly don't care because she's not gong to be the same, but I will admit to my mistakes, that her death allegations are more on the fritzs.

#7. Kylo Ren finds out that Palps is apparently the voice of Darth Vader in his head, and it doesn't completely shatter his world because if you don't remember, Kylo is doing all of this to live up to the legacy of Darth Vader. So Anakin didn't try at all to tell Kylo that it wasn't him, and totally abandoned his family okay. But I will admit I found the scene cool, if only it wasn't in this movie.

#8. I don't remember if I mentioned this but Hux, my God! He was awful in this movie, he's the spy and we don't get any reason besides Hux hates Supreme Leader Kylo. Really I think Jar Jar was just pissed off that his character was turned into a mockery, so he just placed him as a spy to place the hero on their journey and help them when Finn and Poe were about to get executed. It would make sense if Hux tried to destroy the First Order from the Inside, as he would still hold his power, but what do I know

#9. Lando appears, for Fan service because what other type is there for this trilogy. And not only does he kill a random villager, and no gives a fucks about it. But he's also fucking here, he just decided to live here after his and Luke's mission, how many years ago? What about Bespin, the place you literally sacrifice the Rebellion for. We find out that Leia had notified Lando about their arrival, but that brings another question, why didn't Leia told them to meet Lando as he literally the only person who has more information on the Wayfinder. But who cares because his entrance was awesome, and Star Wars were all about the battles, it was definitely not because of the characters and relationship, no it was definitely the pew pew aspect of it.

So I read the Colin Trevenou, or whatever his name is, script and honestly I really enjoyed it, of course it's just the basics, but the concepts seemed interesting and wasn't copying the OT. It was both original and made sense within the expanse of both the SW world building and even the two movies before it and honesty I wished they could make his version into a movie, I think I could at least enjoy it. But hey, that's not how the cookies crumbled.

Now of course Dishonorable mentions!

DO is voiced by Jar Jar Abrams, but also he's just there to give Sith information to the heroes.

An actual Honorable mention- George Lucas appeared in this movie, and one second of him was just a masterpiece, but seriously I just want George Lucas to buy the property of SW again

Back to dishonorable

Kylo chokes slam one of his followers into the ceiling because he questioned the fleet of ships Creamy Sheeve[ Palpatine] is willing to give him, because Kylo can't except anyone challenging him.

The stupid scene of everyone but the characters were supposed to be connected to, mourning Leia death, just cut it out and keep the one with Poe, for God sakes. It so simple.

The plot Armour these walking infections are carrying, literally they cannot die even when one explodes, how is anyone invested in characters who we all know the director won't touch because they're the hero? [Except of Finn, he deserves so much more than this bullshit!, also come on Disney, you can allow a lesbian kiss why can't we pair Finn and Poe?]

How did Palpatine get his resources, as Exegul, is stated to be a desolate place? Did he just steal resources, if so? Why is there no mention anytime of missing people, and resource, I know Jar Jar and Ruin Johnson doesn't like world building but come on how does half of the things you write work! The last time we saw these characters, the heroes won! They shouldn't be the minority or not know anything at all?

But who cares it's just a stupid Star Wars movie, right? I will make one of these for FA and TLJ, just you wait, those two movies are not spared of criticism.

[zoawrites]

Prompt: a concert. They can meet there, have already planned to go together, by a twist of fate end up there, anything! Lol but at least part of it has to take place at a music concert of any genre

Sorry it took me a little while to get this done! Loved the prompt and I had a lot of fun with it! Thank you! 

Story below the cut! (Rated T)

Also, here’s the AO3 link  

Enjoy!

Zoa ❤️

A Wrong Turn to the Right Place

Ben knew he shouldn’t have listened to the damn GPS. ‘Take a right’, it said. ‘Destination will be on your left’, it insisted.

Wrong.

And that was how Ben landed right in the middle of a fucking rock concert instead of at an isolated cabin in the woods where he could find some peace and quiet to finish his manuscript. Was it rock? There was a stage and guitars and a mosh pit so he assumed it was rock. Then again there was a guy with a banjo and another dude with a cello and the two singers had a country twang so probably not rock.

Was it Indie music? Were they hippies?

Ben didn’t know and didn’t care. He just needed to find someone who had a map of the area so he could find his cabin and get out of this loud, body-filled mess of a field. There was a fleet of food trucks lined up along the edge of the crowd, buzzing with customers.

Surely someone had a map. Ben approached the nearest truck and jumped ahead of the line, getting booed and jeered in the process but he ignored the voices. He wasn’t trying to buy anything.  

“Excuse me!” Ben had to shout to be heard over the music and the people. The man at the window glared at him.

“What’re you doing, man? Back of the line!”

Ben was not dissuaded. “I don't want to buy anything. Do you have a map?”

“If you’re not buying, fuck off! I got real customers!”

“Seriously?” Ben scoffed.

“Get the fuck out!”

Ben flipped him off as he backed away. “Asshole.”

He tried every other truck and a few people in line but no one could - or would - help him. After his final attempt, he stood and scowled at the ongoing concert, hands on his hips. How did he end up here? Fucking GPS… fucking food trucks… fucking loud music… can’t hear a damn thing…  

A tap on his shoulder pulled Ben from his angry contemplations and he turned to tell off the concert-goer with all the pent up rage he was currently nursing only for it to disappear in a puff of smoke.

She was in her early twenties, above average height, chestnut hair cut short so that it framed her face. Which was lovely and covered in adorable freckles to which he could devote a whole chapter of his book. Ben stole a moment to gather his thoughts as he took in her Daisy Duke shorts and black, long-sleeved crop-top that had the word ‘nobody’ emblazoned across the chest in white block letters.

“Excuse me, are you in line?”

“What?” Why was it so fucking loud? They weren’t even that close to the stage. “I can’t hear you!” He pointed at his ears and shook his head helplessly.

The girl - young woman - wrinkled her pert nose but then pointed to the food truck. “Are. You. In. Line?”

“Oh, no…” Ben shook his head. “I need a… help.”

“‘A help’?” She laughed and Ben more than ever wished the music wasn’t so loud so he could hear what he was sure was the clearest, loveliest laugh. Her eyes - green with a touch of gold, like the stalks of tall summer grass waving in the distance - looked him up and down, observing his dark blue henley and light jacket, probably realizing he wasn’t there for the concert.

“I’m lost!” He yelled forlornly. Well, as forlornly as a shout could sound. But she seemed to get the picture. His new friend took pity on him and grabbed his hand, guiding him toward the collection of Port-a-Potties lined up at the edge of the field. There were still plenty of people about, so they weren’t completely alone but the noise pollution was much improved. Although he could have done without the smell.

“You’re lost?” She asked and he heard her accent for the first time. British, soft, warm, like sunlight on a spring day. Ben blinked at her for a second before he nodded.

“Yeah. Lost. My, uh, my GPS told me to come here.”

“Where were you trying to go?”

“A cabin. I rented it. I thought I had the right address,” Ben sent a hand through his hair, ruffling it in exasperation. She seemed to watch the movement with interest. “I wanted…” he looked around and sighed, “I wanted a quiet place to write.”

His companion laughed again and yes, it was definitely as Ben imagined it. Better, in fact. “You’ve definitely come to the wrong place for that!”

“I know,” he managed a crooked smile and she pressed her lips into a tight line, as if repressing one of her own. “I don’t suppose you have a map of the area?”

“I don’t. Don’t you have a mobile? A cell phone you can use?”

“No. I don’t like them.”

“Oh, wow,” she grinned. “I didn’t think any of you actually existed.”

“Any of who?”

“Sasquatch.”

“Ha ha,” Ben rolled his eyes but wasn’t offended, not when her eyes were wrinkled and bright at her own joke. “Very funny.”

“I thought so. Here,” she reached into her shorts’ back pocket and drew out her own phone, “let’s see how far astray you’ve come.”

Turned out, he’d strayed quite a ways off his path. An entire state, in fact. The town his cabin was located at and the one he was currently in shared the same name and, unfortunately, Ben hadn’t double checked when he’d plugged in the address. Just selected the automatic suggestion that popped up on the screen like the idiot he was.

“Well, fuck.”

“I’m sorry.” The girl’s expression was honestly sympathetic.

The crowd behind them cheered as a new song began and Ben glanced mournfully over his shoulder. “Look, I don’t want to keep you. I appreciate your help, but I can manage from here. Go have fun.”

“I can still hear the music. I’m Rey, by the way,” she stuck out her hand and Ben stared at it for a second longer than necessary before he engulfed it with his own giant paw.

“Ben. Ben Solo.”

“Ben.” She said his name slowly, as if savoring how it rolled off her tongue. There was even a minuscule lift to the corner of her mouth, which Ben tried very hard not to stare at. “Solo… You’re a writer? Have I heard of you?”

“No,” he shook his head. When she tilted her head quizzically, he cleared his throat and elucidated. “I’m not published yet. This trip was supposed to be my attempt to finish my manuscript…”

“Not getting to a great start, are you.”

He laughed bitterly. “No, guess not.” Then he heaved a very heavy sigh. “I should get going. I have a long drive ahead of me, apparently.”  

“Why don’t you stay?”

The question came as a surprise and this time he allowed himself to stare at her. “What?”

A charming pink hue lit Rey's cheeks. “The sun’s going down, you see. Probably not a good idea to drive in the dark when you don’t have a map.”

“It wasn’t a good idea in daylight, either,” Ben said wryly and Rey laughed again. “But you’re right,” he added, unable to tear his gaze from her bright eyes. “Probably a good idea to stay. I can find a hotel…”

“You can hang out with my friends and I…”

They spoke at the same time. Her eyes darted away in obvious embarrassment but then peered at him from under lightly-mascaraed lashes. Ben swallowed.

“Really? You don’t even know me.”

Rey tilted her head and gave him a shy smile. “You seem fairly harmless to me. Although, you’re a bit short with food truckers, I’ll admit.”

So she’d seen that. Could his face get any hotter?

“Not my finest hour,” Ben admitted, running a hand through his hair again. Her offer was tempting, and the music wasn’t bad… in fact, Ben could see himself tapping a toe to it. “I won’t be intruding?”

“Of course not!”

Then she suddenly grabbed his hand and hauled him off toward the stage. Rey somehow managed to find all the gaps and passages through the dense collection of people, although, with Ben in tow she didn’t really need to because those passages were being bulldozed anyway. Unfazed by the scowls and middle-fingers flipped at them, Rey tugged him to a spot deep in the crowd where four others were bouncing around to the beat.

A short, dark-haired girl with round cheeks and a contagious smile caught sight of Rey, took one long - very long - look at Ben and smirked.

“That’s not what I meant when I said bring back a snack!” She yelled with a wink, earning an aghast and open-mouthed expression of shock from Rey.

That was Rose Tico’s charming self-introduction. Rey’s other friends, Finn, Jannah, and Kaydel were less free with their thoughts, albeit just as curious. They welcomed him warmly enough. While Ben felt out of place - and knew he was - he couldn’t find it in himself to part from the girl who’d rescued him. So he stood and bobbed his head to the music, enjoying watching the others’ antics and enthusiastic singing along.

Still, it wasn’t exactly his favorite activity, and somehow Rey must have sensed that because sometime later - as the horizon was lit by the pink and purple light of the setting sun - she tugged him back through the crowd and toward grassier areas where there were scattered groups sitting on blankets and lawn chairs.

They sat together in a soft patch of grass and Ben sighed, not trying to hide his relief. “Thanks.”

“I did have an ulterior motive,” she admitted, stretching her toned legs out and crossing them at the ankles.

Ben nodded in encouragement, pretty sure if she wanted to take over the world he’d help her. “What’s that?”

“I want you to tell me about your book.”

“My book?” His brows lifted straight up. “You really want to hear about it?”

She nodded and Ben, right in assuming he had little ability to resist any request she made, launched into a summary of his story: a hard-boiled detective investigating the deep, dirty secrets of a city’s nefarious mobster.

“Is there a love story?”

“There’s a woman,” Ben admitted. “I haven’t decided if he should fall in love with her.”

“I think he should.”

“Thing is, I’m not sure how to write her.”

“Maybe you need a muse.”

Ben lifted his gaze from the grass to focus on her face, on all the little freckles dotting her nose, the strange way the fading light of the sun seemed to worship her cheeks. She was beautiful here and now but he wanted to know how many other ways she was beautiful. How she ate toast in the morning. What her favorite movie was. If she squealed when she saw a bee. Everything. He wanted to know everything about her and write it all down.

“Maybe I already have.”

[dalekofchaos]

Ways I would improve Rise Of Skywalker

My post on how I would fix TROS

Exegol would be Moraband

They are Holocrons, not Wayfinders

The Resistance base would be Batuu, not Ajan Kloss

There would be no Death Star ruins, the final Holocron would be on Kamino

Ben would have an existential crisis after his meeting with Palpatine. The revelation that Palpatine has been manipulating him all his life, shakes him to the core. And at this moment, the force ghosts of Luke and Anakin reach him. First. Luke. Luke tells him that he kept his promise, that he’d always be there for him. Luke makes amends to his nephew. Luke finally realizes the truth, he didn't kill his fellow students and shows Ben the truth through the force. The truth that he hesitated and regretted his moment of instinct and they forgive each other. And Anakin finally appears before his grandson. Ben is in disbelief and says “....Grandfather????” Anakin finally speaks to his grandson “I never wanted you to repeat my mistakes. That pull to the light you were feeling was always me. I wanted you to be better than I was, who I could have been” and showing Ben his memories and what he had to go through. His life as a slave, meeting Padme, meeting Obi-Wan, becoming a Jedi, losing his mother, Order 66, losing Padme and being saved by Luke and finally destroying Palpatine(lol but not really). And telling Ben “Let the light in. You still have a chance, no one is ever really gone“  And as a parting gift, Anakin and Luke use the force to will Han’s spirit, and finally father and son can speak for real. Their talk remains the same, especially the “Kylo Ren is dead, my son is still alive.” line and with  the Skywalkers and Han talking through with him, Ben decides to renounce the dark side and Palpatine, but realizes it won’t be easy to leave, so Ben will play the spy.

Pryde is not with the First/Final Order. Hux is 2nd in command and is the perfect tool for Palpatine to use against Ben when he feels his turn to the light.

Senator Enric Pryde is the benefactor for The Resistance and the last surviving Senator of the New Republic. His aspirations is to bring the Republic back and plans to lead by Leia’s example as he was the only one who listened to her claims, but red tape held him back. 

Rey would have her yellow lightsaber from the beginning and it would be a Yellow Saberstaff

The tie in novels matter and The Resistance is in a giant fighting force

Knights Of Ren are Sith warriors who serve the Sith Eternal 

Rose joins Rey, Finn, and Poe

Connix would be featured more prominently  on the Black Spire/Resistance Base. We would also have it established that Poe and Connix are in a relationship. Cause Billie Lourd deserved to shine and if Poe had to have a girlfriend, at least let it be with someone he already has great chemistry with. 

FInn and Rose are together. Cute displays of affection like kissing, nicknames like “Commander Tico” “Jedi Prince” and Rose made a matching pendant for Finn to match hers to show that Finn and Rose are soulmates

During the time skip, Rey and Finn would’ve trained together and Finn would be her Padawan. Finn, like Rey would craft his own Lightsaber. A Purple Blastersaber. 

Hobbit boy would be cut from the movie entirely  

Instead of doing nothing, Chewie fights the Knights Of Ren and loses, that’s how Chewie is captured. 

Jannah is inspired by Finn’s defection and the defeat of Phasma. Jannah explains that it’s because of him they got the courage to rebel when he left and when Phasma was killed, there were small rebellions, but only Jannah’s group survived. Jannah and her people even call Finn “Phasma slayer” this inspires Finn to help Jannah start a Stormtrooper Rebellion. And Rose is there to help broadcast a signal so Finn can give a speech to incite Rebellion

Finn, Rose and Jannah are able to sneak aboard Hux’s flagship. Rose helps using her skills to help Finn to broadcast a signal to every Stormtrooper. I think it could be something like this. “My name is Finn, I was FN-2187, a Stormtrooper. Like every one of you, I was taken from a family I will never know. I was raised to do one thing… but my first battle, my friend Slip died and that death marked me and made me realize We are people and we have a choice. I wasn’t gonna kill for them. I had nothing to fight for. Until I met my friends, they gave me a name, a purpose and something worth fighting for.(cue Finn smiling at Rose) So I am here to tell you.  You have a choice. You are people. You do not have to kill for them anymore. Take back your lives and fight the people who took your lives away from you. I am giving you the one choice they never gave you and choose for yourselves. You can either storm this very room and kill us or you can take back your lives. The choice is yours.” Then we get a very emotional scene of Stormtroopers led by Finn’s last surviving Squad member, Zeroes removing his helmet and tossing it to the ground and then we see hundreds, to thousands of Stormtroopers ripping their helmets off and tossing them to the ground. Officers DEMAND they put their helmet back on and kill The Resistance scum, but they don’t. It happens. Rebellion.  Finn, Jannah and Rose have successfully led a Stormtrooper Rebellion and together burn The First Order from the inside out and Rose could say something that calls back to TLJ. “It was worth it, though. To tear them up, make ‘em hurt.” Finn would embrace Rose in a kiss and say “Now it’s worth it.”

No fake out deaths. Chewie is shown on a different transport, but C-3PO does give his life to translate the holocron(just let him translate the holocron, translating a weapon is fucking stupid) and C-3PO asks R2 “let me take one last look, at my best friend”

After interrogating Chewbacca and reading his mind which shows him his happy childhood memories with “Uncle Chewie”, Ben reveals his true allegiances to Chewie and frees him

Finn and Poe are captured and are at Kylo’s mercy and awaiting their execution. To their surprise, Kylo Ren kills the Stormtroopers and allow them to escape.  Ben tells them “I am the spy” then Poe goes “I KNEW IT!” Finn retorts “NO YOU DID NOT” Finn asks Ben why and then he telepathically tells Finn everything, Finn understands and they shake hands. 

Replace Zorri Bliss with Jacen Syndulla(played by Matt Smith), and this gives Poe a ex-boyfriend, which also cuts out that horrendous racist stereotype. Jacen is undercover for The Resistance and he helps Poe and they embrace in a kiss. Poe tells Connix “we used to date” this way we can show that Poe Dameron is Bi 

Ben tells Rey the truth of everything in his quarters. And Rey would ask Ben to prove that he's changed and together they destroy Vader's mask to symbolize his turn to the light. 

During the scene where Rey flies into the hangar. Instead of Ben asking Rey to take his hand, it’s Rey asking Ben to take her hand. With this, Hux enters the room and claps. Hux displays Snoke’s murder for all to see and displays Ben’s conversations with Rey. “Did you think The Emperor a fool Ren? Or me? You are a traitor. OPEN FIRE! and with that, every single Stormtrooper begins to open fire.  Ben then flies into the Falcon with Rey, Finn, Poe and Rose.

Together they leave for Kamino for the final Holocron together. Rey’s fight with Dark Rey still happens, while Ben fights Vader(a projection from Palpatine obviously) Leia’s death causes Ben to lose his fight and is left for dead, Rey saves Ben via force healing

Rey is still horrified by her inner darkness and that Palpatine is her grandfather, so she still goes to Ach-To. So cue the same scene between Rey and Luke, only, instead of Rey going via X-Wing, it’s Ben and Chewie in the Falcon who come to Rey 

Chewie comes to Ben’s aid for saving him earlier, for saving him and showing that Ben has a change of heart, Chewie hugs Ben and takes Ben to Moraband to save Rey. Chewie even gives him Han’s blaster. Showing that Chewie forgives Ben for Han’s death and to help him save Rey.

When Ben arrives, Rey hugs and they embrace each other. Ben parts ways with Luke. Luke would encourage Rey and Ben to heal Ben’s Crossguard Lightsaber, so with their combined powers, Ben’s Crossguard Lightsaber is healed and it is now white. Luke then tells Ben and Rey, “1000 generations of Jedi lives within you now. This is your fight.” and tells them “may the force be with you” Before leaving I could see Ben rebuilding his saber hilt and it would most likely be Grey.

Prior to landing on Moraband, Ben changes his attire. He removes his dark Kylo Ren aesthetic, for something you would associate with the son of Han Solo art by machodoodle and Phantasy Studio 

Ben asks, “how do we look?” Rey tells him “perfect” Ben will say”no, almost perfect” and Rey realizes what he means and undoes her buns and frees her hair. “Now we’re perfect” how Rey with her hair freed would look, source

Before exiting the Falcon, Ben believes this is the last time to tell Rey, so Ben would talk to Rey and tell her “I never wanted power, all I wanted was you. You were never nothing, you were everything to me and I love you Rey” Ben would hold out his hand and Rey would take it and Ben would kiss Rey. Both Ben and Rey believes this will be their last night alive, so Rey and Ben make the most of it by making love. Your standard movie sex scene, but nothing too explicit

When they land on Moraband, they are greeted by the Knights Of Ren. Rey and Ben fight the Knights Of Ren together.

Instead of space horses to land on a Star Destroyer, it’s basically the result of Finn’s message. Stormtroopers start rebelling and Finn is leading the assault. Stormtroopers vs Sith Troopers. And we’d see Finn igniting his Lightsaber to lead the charge. Just imagine how emotional it would be to have the lightsaber of a former slave to be used to lead and free other slaves. It’s an awesome battle, but it results in Hux’s defeat. Hux shares Pryde’s fate.

After Hux’s defeat, Finn senses danger. So Lando drops Finn off to save Rey and Ben

Due to Finn’s presence, Ben and Rey are fully rejuvinated.

Rey, Finn and Ben are able to kill Palpatine together(Anakin, Leia and Luke are able to empower them both to end Palpatine once and for all) however it would not end the with Rey and Ben just deflecting lightning, Palpatine would draw two red lightsabers and faces Ben and Rey in a epic lightsaber duel. It is easily the best lightsaber duel in the sequel trilogy with Williams brand new edition of Duel Of Fates playing in the background. It ends with Palpatine saying “I AM ALL THE SITH! and Finn, Ben and Rey say “we are the Skywalkers” and it finally ends with Palpatine destroyed.

Pryde and Ben sign a treaty to end the war

We’d get a scene of Ben making peace with Finn and Poe 

Also a scene of Lando and Chewie hugging their nephew

To help cement his redemption. Ben goes off on his path of atonement to right his wrongs by wiping out FO holdouts. Ben insists he has to do this on his own, but Rey will tell him “we’ll do it together” and the final scene is Rey and Ben in the Falcon, sharing a kiss before they head out to end The First Order hold outs.

Epilogue. The war is over. The First Order is no more. The New Order is established. Think Galactic Federation of Free Alliances from Legends. Lando Calrissian is the Chancellor of the New Order. Leia passed away and is entombed on her home of Chandrilla with Han. Finn leads a program to help properly help his brothers and sisters integrate back into galactic society and to help them all find their families and worlds. Poe and Finn would be the Ministers of Defense, always keeping The New Order’s Military strong and on their toes so they can prepare them for whatever threat there is to come. Finn and Rose got married and Rose leads a sanctuary for all the children and animals who have lost their families due to the war and helps take care of them, but also Rose would lead an attack on arms dealers and war profiteers who have profited off the war and suffering of the galaxy. In time, Finn and Rose would bring relief and restoration to Hays Minor and together Finn and Rose Tico would return home and have a family. Poe and Connix get married on Yavin IV. I believe that Rey and Ben would get married on Naboo, have their honeymoon on Chandrilla, then setting down on Mortis to reform the Prime Jedi and balance the Force while raising their family. Basically Rey and Ben would either gain a peaceful life on Naboo or build a New Order where both sides of the force can come together in order to achieve balance, where they can love freely and use their passions and compassion for the good of the force without suppressing their emotions and I think the best place for this new Order to take place would be on Mortis.

[elbiotipo]

Ok that was the sequels with the Disney Canon, But MY idea of the sequels would be actually an animated series about Luke’s Jedi Order, it would be basically a Jedi School series with fun adventures and both old and new characters. I know I previously ranted about how I hate both school settings and teenage protagonists but this is different because it’s Jedi School and it’s Star Wars.

So, for this I take what I like from the old canon, other things from the new canon, and drop other things, don’t expect much coherence.

Anyways it’s set about 15 or so years after the Battle of Endor. Things have gotten much better, you know how it goes, the New Republic has grown and the Imperial Remnant are just a fringe junta of all the weirdo warlords of the EU, Han and Leia get married, Lando is chancellor, and Luke marries Mara Jade, because she’s awesome, and rebuilds the Jedi Order.

Since the old method of “kidnapping children” is out for obvious reasons, the Jedi Order functions more like a boarding school or summer camp in Yavin IV. It is much smaller than the prequels order, composed of:

Old masters and survivors to Order 66, like Luke, Mara, Ahsoka, Ezra and a couple others, they try their best but they are ultimately quirky teachers

First generation jedi that were only recently trained like Finn and Rey and still have much to learn

And a whole bunch of Padawans from all ages, species, worlds and backgrounds

The series mostly follows Luke’s son Ben, who is a Very Good Kid with a little of a complex fromhaving such a successful father (and mother) who are praised all over the Galaxy. He’s quiet, shy and isn’t very good with a lightsaber but has a deep connection to the force. He’s friends/rivals with his older cousin Aldera Organa (Han took Leia’s name) who is LOUD, sarcastic, hotheaded, and while overall a good girl WILL cut you up with a lightsaber if given the chance. They’re friends with a pilot jedi padawan from an Andes/Inca inspired world (we haven’t seen that before in Star Wars), a huge Wookiee who plays football (as in the one with foot, not the yanqui version), and a Trandoshan mechanic girl (because they are always shown as villain characters, make them heroes for once). Together, They Fight Crime and we see how they slowly grow from just kids to heroes.

Luke Skywalker meanwhile, tries to be a good teacher. He wakes up every day, drinks his blue milk, and reads pedagogy textbooks to try to become a better teacher, but is very concerned that he’s just winging it all, after all he only got two weeks top of training with Obi-Wan and Yoda included. Everybody assures him it’s okay but he doesn’t believe them. Leia represents the Jedi back at Coruscant, Han trains the New Republic special forces (including New Republic Super Agents Poe Dameron and Rose Tico), Lando is the New Republic Chancellor, R2D2 and C3PO are the official Jedi academy groundskeeper and translator, respectively, and Chewie is just vibing and enjoying his retirement.

Ok, so everything is nice so far. Another year in the Academy starts, all the character meet, Luke and Mara have a parent-teachers reunion, etc. etc. he assures everyone the school is Perfectly Safe, just look at that Togruta lady she has TWO lightsabers isn’t she awesome?

Meanwhile, somewhere in the Galaxy, Han and his Superagents are in a shooting with some aliens who come from outside the Galaxy. They escape in their ship and are headed to the Jedi Academy, Han tries to warn them but the transmission is cut.

So first lessons in the Jedi Academy, Ben is dissapointed that he isn’t as good as a Jedi as the other kids despite being the son of Luke and you know normal school dramas but with lightsabers.

THEN the aliens land. They are like... Vong But Not Really, intergalactic invaders who are able to manipulate and even disconect someone from the Force temporarily, and they are physically very strong. They are a scout team sent ahead of the main fleet to test the strongest force users of the Galaxy and they aren’t very impressed.

They kidnap the children to study them but they escape using Home Alone traps unorthodox tactics. A battle ensues, awesome things happen, Mara blows up their ship so they hide in the jungle at night. The kids are lost in the jungle though, and the Vong close up on them one by one. Just as the leader grabs Ben and does his villain speech, a green lightsaber lights up in the darkness. It's Luke. He gives the Vong leader one chance to free them. The Vong nervously refuse.

Luke Skywalker goes fucking feral on them, Darth-Vader-In-Rogue-One Style, until they finally surrender and free the kids, and then he goes back into Quirky Master mode and asks them all if they are okay. They are, just now are fucking terrified for several reasons.

Nobody is seriously hurt and all the kidnappers are captured so they see little reason to suspend the academic year. They send the Vong prisoners to Coruscant, where Leia resolves to learn more about these invaders before the come, and so the main arc of the series starts, while they fight pirates, bounty hunter, imperial warlords, dark side spirits and all that weird EU stuff, they slowly investigate who the Vong are, what they want and try to prepare for the upcoming invasion.

Other *fun* things that happen include:

Thrawn, who was conspicously absent all this time (though Ezra escaped from him at some point), comes back from the Unknown Regions with his fleet and sees the bunch of jokers leading what remains of the “Empire”. He goes all art student mode and says “hhmmrmm... an empeire need sthe figuer of an empoerer”...

And eventually manuevers over the warlords and crowns himself emperor, and the New Republic has another headache to deal with.

The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda from hit live-action series “The Mandalorian and Baby Yoda Show” appear, he finally found the Jedi after aimlessly wandering the Galaxy, and tearfully entrusts Baby Yoda to them. It’s a babysitting episode where Baby Yoda makes pure CHAOS in the Jedi Academy and eventually the Jedi give him back to Din, telling him to raise him until he’s more mature, much to his delight

Luke organizes a friendly lightsaber tournament to test everybody’s abilities. Ahsoka, Ezra and the rest, who had more lightsaber training than “Obi-Wan teaching me to avoid a floating ball and Yoda making me pile up rocks” wipe the floor with him.

In the villain romance nobody asked for, Thrawn marries admiral Daala in a marriage for convenience and the Jedi are invited to the wedding omg!!! Of course, IT’S A TRAP and the new Imperial couple tell them to serve the rightful galactic goverment, that is, them. And so they crash the wedding instead, it would be hilarious

The kids are majorly concerned about Luke talking to force ghosts and Mara ocassionally repeating orders from a dead Palpatine, and they try to make them get a fucking vacation and therapy for once.

LIFE. DAY. SPECIAL.

Some dark side cultists cloned Palpatine but because he was raised differently in another world he’s just like, an accountant, who gets kidnapped for their dark rituals, and the Jedi have to spend a whole fleet to rescue Some Guy who doesn’t even understand what’s going on.

Of course eventually the Vong invade in full force and the Galaxy is under attack again, the Thrawn Empire has to decide if to follow an old dream of a Sith madman or help the New Republic, and everybody has Choices to make and Tragedy incoming but that’s way in the future to write.

It would be so much fun to have an Jedi Academy series because I’m sure Mark Hamill would LOVE to be casted, the old EU has so much cool things (and stupid crap) to write about, and you have so many characters to make plots and subplots for and make toys and spinoffsHEY DISNEY ARE YOU LISTENING YOU CAN MAKE MONEY WITH THIS YOU BASTARDS

[desiraypark]

When the Sun Sleeps in Canto Bight [11]

Previous Entire Series CHAPTER PLAYERS Ruby Girard Solo, The Beautiful Singer and Wife of Kylo Ren Kylo Ren aka Ben Solo, Leader of the Knights of Ren Sanya Solo, Kylo and Ruby’s Daughter (5) Ben “Little” Solo, Kylo and Ruby’s Son (4) Aida Solo, Kylo and Ruby’s Daughter (2) Threepio, Leia Organa-Solo’s butler The Organa Hotel Receptionist The Organa Hotel Bellhop Rose Tico, Manager of The Organa Hotel CHAPTER CONTENT Angst; Mommy Getaway/Mommy Getaway Blues; Daddy Kylo; surveillance implied

Sanya and Little walked on either side of their mother, as Kylo followed behind with Aida in his arms. Threepio stepped out of the town car.

“Hi, Threepio!” Sanya and Little shouted. They ran to him and he bent down to hug them. Ruby walked down the stairs with her bags--just two of them, and Threepio stood up and met Ruby.

“Mrs. Ruby,” Threepio said. He looked behind her. “Mr. Kylo.”

“Hey Threepio,” Kylo said.

Threepio grabbed Ruby’s bags and carried them to the car. Ruby bent down in front of Sanya and Little.

“I want you two to be good for Daddy, alright?” Ruby said.

“Can’t we come with you, Mommy?” Sanya asked with a pout.

Ruby shook her head. “I wish you could, Honey. But Mommy needs a little rest. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Ruby stood up and turned around. Kylo watched her walk toward him, and she stood on her tiptoes and kissed Aida on the cheek. Their youngest reached her hands out as if to ask for another kiss. Ruby giggled and kissed the tot on her cheek once more, then gave it a little pinch.

“See you in a few days, Angel,” she said.

“Blrrbbr, Mommy,” Aida babbled.

Ruby met Kylo’s eyes. The morning sun had lightened them, and she could almost see herself inside of them. Kylo’s Adam’s apple bobbed up, then fell back down. Ruby turned around and trekked down the walkway and to the car. Threepio held the back door open and she climbed in.

Suddenly, she heard cries on the other side of the window. She looked out and saw Sanya and Little at their father’s side, crying. He knelt beside them, trying to comfort them. Then, Aida burst into tears. Ruby quickly turned her head away and closed her eyes, stopping her own tears from falling.

Threepio drove off and took her to the Organa Hotel. ____________________

“Welcome to the Organa Hotel,” the receptionist said with a big smile.

“Good morning,” Ruby said, returning the smile.

“This is Ms. Organa-Solo’s daughter-in-law,” Threepio said, stopping at her desk with Ruby’s bags.

“Ah, hold on,” the receptionist said. She walked away from the desk and to an office. She knocked on the door, then opened it and talked inside. When she stepped back, a dark-haired woman dressed in a long blue dress with designs along the sleeves.

“Good morning,” she said, floating in front of the desk. She held her hand out to Ruby and Ruby shook it. “I’m Rose Tico and I’m the manager here at Organa Hotel.”

“Nice to meet you,” Ruby responded.

Rose waved the bellhop over. “Please take Mrs. Solo’s bags to the Penthouse Suite.”

“Leia insisted I give you the full tour,” Rose said. The bellhop took Ruby’s bags from Threepio. “Are those all your bags?”

“Yes. I’m only staying for the weekend,” Ruby answered with a smile.

“I’ll be off, Mrs. Solo. I’m set to return Monday morning,” Threepio said.

“Thank you, Threepio.”

Guests and employees alike smiled and waved at Rose, as if she were Leia Organa-Solo herself. And Rose returned their greetings--calling the employees by name and asking how their kids were. She gave Ruby a grand tour of the hotel - the spa, the gym and tennis court; the pool and sauna, and the lounge. It was a grand place. Then, the tour went to the penthouse suite - a room that seemed to be as big as the entire first floor of her home. A luxury lodging overlooking the city of Canto Bight. When Rose left her alone, she turned twirled around the room and flopped on the plush bed. She noticed a portable radio on her dresser and got up to turn it on. She flipped through the stations to land on the popular music frequency. Suddenly, she heard her own singing voice emanate from the speakers. Did someone ask to hear her? Or did Sheev pay for this play? Ruby sighed, turned the radio off, then plopped back down on the bed for a nap. 

Later, she grabbed some lunch from the lounge--nothing too filling or fancy, just shrimp cocktail and a salad. After lunch, she walked the grounds of the hotel--smelling the flowers and sitting under the gazebo. Then, she took a walk through the city. She let the sun kiss her skin, and enjoyed the sounds of heels touching the ground beneath her - heels other than her own and that of little children, for a change. ____________________

“Yeah, you just make sure nobody fucks with her, you know what I mean? Hang around for about an hour, then fuck off,” Kylo said into the phone. “Yeah. Especially tonight and tomorrow night. Nighttime is when ya really gotta look out...yeah. Alright, I gotta go.”

Kylo hung up the phone and rushed back into the kitchen. He stepped around his kids and rushed to the stove to check on dinner.

“Vroom, vroom, vrrrrroooom!” Sanya said, pushing a toy truck across the floor. Little put his toy down and reached for the truck.

“I wanna play with it now!” he whined. Sanya snatched the truck away.

“No!” she shouted.

Little reached for the toy and Sanya kept pulling it away. Then, Little let out a piercing scream.

Kylo grabbed the wooden fork from the ceramic utensil jar and banged it against the stovetop. “Hey!”

Sanya and Little froze. “You see your sister playin’ with it?!”

Little sat on his butt and folded his arms. “But I want to play with it now.”

Kylo looked up at the clock. “It’s not time for you to play with it yet. I’ll tell you when it’s time.”

Kylo looked over his shoulder just in time to see Aida throw her bowl of cereal on the floor.

“Shit,” he whispered as he rushed over, hoping to grab it. But little o-shapes scattered all over the floor.

“Uh oh!” Aida said.

“Yeah, uh oh,” Kylo said. He lifted the little one out of the high chair. “What’d ya have to go and do that for, huh?”

Aida threw her arms around Kylo’s neck. He laughed and planted a kiss on her cheek. 

“Hey, Little...Sanya? You wanna do something for your Pop?” he asked his two eldest children.

“Yeah!” they asked standing up.

“Can you clean this cereal up for me?” he asked. He walked to the stove, making sure to keep Aida away from it, then he stirred his sauce with a wooden spoon.

“Okay!” Sanya said. They rushed to the pantry. Sanya beat her brother to it, but he reached for the doorknob--as did she. Kylo looked over and rolled his eyes.

“Let Little open it, Sanya.”

Sanya stepped back and Little opened the pantry door. Before they could fight their way inside, Kylo’s booming voice filled the kitchen again.

“Little, you sweep, Sanya you scoop it up.”

“Okay…” they agreed in unison.

“And look. I don’t want no more fightin’ outta you two. One more argument and you ain’t gettin’ none of that cake,” he said.

“Ohhkaaay...” they answered with a whine.

The kids wobbled out of the pantry--Little dragging a broom that was twice his size and Sanya holding a piece of cardboard.

____________________

The sun slowly set on Canto Bight. Ruby stood in the window, sipping a cool glass of water and listening to a contest on the radio. She looked down at her watch and walked to the phone.

“Can you connect me to BROOK-2015, please?” she asked. “Thank you…”

Kylo was cutting Sanya and Little’s meatballs into smaller pieces. “Guess I should have thought about this before I made ‘em so big, huh?”

Sanya and Little giggled, and Aida giggled, too. Kylo looked down at the toddler on his lap and laughed. “What are you laughin’ at?” he asked.

Sanya and Little burst into laughter, and Aida did too. Kylo smiled and shook his head. Suddenly, the phone rang.

“Hold on,” he said. He held Aida in his arms and walked into the hallway to grab the phone.

“Yeah?” he answered.

“It’s me,” Ruby said. “I want to talk to my babies.”

Kylo leaned against the wall and smiled. “Ain’t I one of your babies?”

“No.”

Kylo scoffed. “Yes, I am.”

“Can I talk to my children please?”

“Yeah,” Kylo said. “After you talk to me.”

Ruby huffed.

“I miss you…” Kylo said. “And I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Ruby said. “But I just want to talk to my children.”

Kylo sighed and pulled the phone away from his mouth. “Hey, kids! Your mom wants to talk to you.”

Sanya and Little squealed and ran into the hallway. He held the phone to Sanya first.

“Hi, Mommy!” she squealed into the phone.

[missorgana]

coffee with an old friend

pairing: finn/poe dameron, background rey/rose tico

fandom: star wars (sequel trilogy)

rating: teen and up

word count: 6420

warning: swearing

summary: This gap year was supposed to be uneventful. Free of stumbling into his childhood friend slash man of his dreams, at least, but it seems like Finn's waking up to a surprise every day now. (coffee shop au + childhood friends)

(after being stuck on this in 3 months, i’m back!! i’m not too happy with the ending tbh but,, i just want it done and i miss them a lot. this isn’t beta read so all mistakes are my own! really hope you all enjoy this!!)

read on ao3

Finn’s missed London.

He only landed a week ago, but the memories from his childhood are already creeping back into his mind.

He still knows these streets like the palm of his hand.

As much Finn loves California, it can’t really compare, now, standing in the misty afternoon, the rush of the stores very much going despite the weather.

It almost seems quiet now, upon his return. The fact that he thought this was crowded as a child is incredible.

He’s missed the kindness, as well as the blunt honesty of the British.

And, surprisingly, the smell of rain’s missed too.

It’s almost comforting.

Finn knows he can’t stand in the rain forever, though, and if there’s something London never gets enough of, it’s coffee shops.

So it’s only a five minute walk before he spots one, which he, oddly enough, doesn’t remember seeing here before. Must be newly opened.

And there’s plenty of tables available once Finn’s inside, only residents are people looking around his age, occupying their laptops with cappuccinos on the side.

And, figuring he’ll go for the usual ice latte, the queue it is. It’s only consisting of one person, really, so Finn’s not sure he can call it that.

Regardless, when it’s his turn, he quickly forgets that thought.

Because a man he hasn’t seen in years in standing behind the counter.

Finn’s mind goes back to video games and model planes and caramel apples and it’s almost as if he’s ten years old again.

Poe fucking Dameron.

He’s changed, so very much, but Finn’s a hundred percent certain it’s him.

The curly haired man in front of him takes a minute to register what’s happening, so he’s probably just as surprised as Finn himself.

His face morphs from cluelessness to a slightly open mouth to a smile that slowly grows.

“Poe?”

“Finn! Buddy!”

And Finn really can’t think about how that old pet name makes his stomach feel right now, cause a woman with a slightly loud child, standing behind him, tells him to “Hurry up, already!”

So, naturally, Finn apologizes while getting his order out. Poe looks disappointed.

Cut to two minutes later where his coffee is called, by another barista, cause Poe’s seemingly busy, and Finn shouldn’t instantly feel sad about that, but he does.

That is, until he notices the scribbles on the cup saying, I’m off in an hour and a half. Wait for me?

Finn should be looking for a job right now. Should let his parents know he’s back in town, they’ll probably give him a three course meal and convince him to stay forever.

But despite not having seen the man for four years, he still can’t say no to Poe Dameron. Damn him.

Which is why Finn sticks around, shuffling his playlists and texting Rey for a bit.

She’ll surely freak out when she hears about this.

He should really tell her, but he spots Poe getting rid of the apron and Finn figures he’ll call her in the evening.

The older man, only by two years, he reminds himself, sits down across from him.

Finn wants to stand up for a hug, but doesn’t.

He wants to hold the hand that’s placed on the table, but doesn’t.

Regardless, Poe looks beyond excited. He’s grown a scruffy beard, and it’s funny to see the long curls again.

Finn nearly cried when he had shaved it all off for the army, but his old friend doesn’t need to know that.

“Oh, man. Hey, I- well. When did you get back in town, buddy?” and his voice is a tad hoarse, but warm, and Finn’s stomach starts doing loops on itself from hearing it again.

He can’t really deny it, can he?

Ever since the sleepover the two had with Rey, when they were ten and Poe twelve, Finn’s had this feeling.

This feeling when the boy grabbed his hand and told him his parents could take them to Comic Con, and Finn’s young mind didn’t get it, then, but he did when he turned fourteen.

Sixteen year old Poe texted him a little past midnight and asked if he could come over, which is far from unusual for them, and the golden boy laid in his bean bag, concentrating hard on the ceiling, only to shift his gaze to Finn and tell him, “I think I’m gay.”

Two days later, Finn asked his mum what the difference between liking a girl and a boy is, and she smiled that knowing smile of hers, “Well, depends on the boy and the girl.”

And he can’t really claim he’s surprised that his childhood crush washes over him in full force, after only a couple of hours worth of reunion.

Fucking hell.

All the time he spent crying over Poe leaving for the military makes him feel utterly stupid.

He feels utterly stupid sitting here, across from the man he’s been in love with since his early teens, who is just as, if not more, beautiful as he was four years ago, can he just stop?

“A week ago.” Finn tells the older man, coughing as a way of possibly restraining the thoughts going through his head, about his friends’ hands, that must be unhealthy, “More importantly, when did you get back?”

And Poe turns his eyes to the table in a soft laugh, proceeding to rest his chin on his hands before replying, “A year ago, more or less.”

“You- what? Why didn’t I hear about this?” Finn asks, and immediately regrets.

He can’t say it’s not completely on him for their loss of contact.

Poe’s number’s still saved on his phone, no doubt, which has caused him many late night considerations of a confession call, just for the hell of it.

But, well, his friend became less frequent, too. Which is understandable, because he was a pilot in the fucking military.

Finn feels bad, and somehow Poe realises this, cause he grabs his hand over the table, “If you’re about to apologise for losing contact, save it, okay? Things like that happen, I don’t blame you.”

And now they’re holding hands, and god, stop it already, before Finn does something stupid, like kissing the man across from him.

Soon enough, Poe retracts his hand, without seeming fazed.

The phone pings for twentieth time, and Finn apologises, “It’s Rey.”

“Oh my god!” the other man exclaims, “How is she?”

And Finn has to smile, there’s so many updates from their lives, and he swears this fuzzy feeling he’s having needs to leave.

They’ve always been friends. Best friends.

The only thing in his entire life Finn haven’t told Poe about is this, something Rey’s encouraged him to do numerous times.

And maybe he should’ve, but he always thought his best friend too good for him, and even if he didn’t, the thought of getting rejected always kicked in when he was close to coming clean.

But what’s the point of it now?

Poe probably has a gorgeous, strong, strategic, interesting veteran boyfriend waiting for him at home.

If there was no chance when they were teenagers attached at the hip, how would there be any now?

“She’s great!” Finn finally tells him, storing all the emotions in the back of his mind for later, “Still in Paris, but she swore to me yesterday that she would book a flight now that I’m back.”

“Hold her to that. A reunion’s just what I need, buddy. My friends from the army are awesome, but I can’t help comparing them to you two, you know?”

Finn really hopes he isn’t blushing, but he’s feeling embarrassed, and warm.

Maybe he should feel bad about being satisfied about this, but he’s relieved, because Poe hasn’t replaced him. Or Rey. He never believed he would, but the fear was always present.

What Finn expects to be yet another text from the last member of their trio turns out to be one from his mum, and yeah, he should probably get going before she comes and gets him herself.

He doesn’t really want this to end. Let him reside in this blissful warmth, pretend his childhood crush’s actually returns his feelings, or something, okay?

“Sorry, Poe, it’s uh- it’s my mum,” Finn tells his friend with a chuckle, “I wanna catch up, but my mum also wanna catch up, so...”

“Of course! Don’t worry, buddy,” he tells him, and Finn takes a small happiness in the disappointed look Poe’s trying to hide, “You still have my number, right?”

And he doesn’t know if he should be embarrassed or hopeful right now, but Finn nods and his friend brightens up.

“Perfect. Still need to show you my pictures! Got loads of my plane- or well, the one I was assigned to…” Poe stumbles a bit on his words.

He’s always been confident, at least that’s how Finn always saw him as, smiles that may go to the cocky side after a couple drinks, hands rubbing his friends’ back when they’re nervous, this courage to always say what he means, even when it’s frowned upon.

Especially when it’s frowned upon.

But of course Finn, and Rey, saw the rare moments aside from that. The soft, the sad, the unknowing. 

Before Poe Dameron announced his sexuality in the high school speaker system, he told Finn in the middle of the night, the light of his phone screen illuminating him, and a crack in his voice that he’ll deny if Finn ever brings it up.

“If you want to, that is!” the older man adds quickly, and Finn has to stop him with a nod, “Of course.”

And well, he can’t really postpone it anymore, which is why Finn stands up, and, because fuck it, goes in for a hug. Luckily, Poe seems just as willing.

He pats his older friend on the back a couple times for good measure, to distance himself from the way his stomach is clenching still.

And maybe, he hopes, it’ll stop affecting him the next time they meet. Maybe.

…

Today is Sunday.

In his childhood, this day always meant going to church, and well, as much as he respects his mother’s religion, he guesses he grew out of it.

Nowadays, Sunday is usually his assigned ‘do absolutely nothing day’, and has been since he turned sixteen.

Yet Finn somehow finds himself doing something. It’s tragic, really.

But Poe texted with the question of hey bud! you doing anything today?, followed by if you’re up for looking at pictures, you know. coffee on the house? ;), and he can’t exactly ignore Poe Dameron, can he?

After staring at the winky face emoticon for way longer than he should, like he hadn’t seen it a million times before, Finn decides to reply and make his way to where their reunion took place a week ago.

And boy, if he thought the coffee shop was empty then, it’s definitely void now.

Only two residents present, an old woman knitting, and a man possibly in his late thirties, typing away on a laptop like his life depends on it.

“Buddy!” Finn recognizes the exclaim, and gives his friend a wave.

And Poe is already sitting at a table, surprisingly.

A look to the counter reveals a blond barista, hair put up in two buns, apron sporting an abundance of colorful pins and, what he assumes is their business catchphrase, You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy coffee - and that’s pretty close.

Just like when they first reunited, Finn’s undivided attention is once again drawn to his childhood crush, smiling at him as if they hadn’t stopped calling each other for four years. Finn might as well have a permanent stomach ache by now.

“You’re off already?” he questions his friend, taking the seat across from him, where a iced latte was already placed for him.

That’s just a friendly gesture, right? Nothing more for Finn to overthink for the rest of his life.

Poe nods, “An hour ago. Kaydel needs some extra hours, anyway, so I’m getting off early.” and his curls bops as he gestures to the woman operating the coffee machines.

Today’s a bit warmer compared to the last time, Finn mentally notes. Perhaps their heating was broken before.

Not that he has time to freeze or sweat or anything similar when Poe’s in front of him, and Finn is absolutely embarrassed that his feelings are hitting him this hard.

After their first meeting three days ago, Finn called Rey, and of course, he can’t keep anything secret from her, so it was less than twenty minutes before she’d gotten the news out of him.

“Finn! You know what this means?!” she yelled to him, the surprised yelp sounding in the background, which he assumed belonged to her girlfriend, and, well.

Finn laughed to her, nervously, “That you’re coming back so we can have it like old times again?” and he could not help but think that Rey was rolling her eyes at him, all the way over in France.

He doesn’t doubt that Rey wants to see Poe again, but he also knows that she never let his childhood crush on their friend go.

“Well, duh,” she told him, then clicked her tongue, “Buuut now you can see him on a daily basis.”

And Finn had played dumb, don’t judge him, okay? That day was already a lot for his mind, and heart, to handle, so he needed a bit of distance from it all.

“Uh, I guess?”

“Finn.”

“What?”

“You still not going to tell him?”

“Tell him what?” he told her, with a smile creeping up, and he didn’t know how to interpret the laugh coming out of the speaker, but damn, he missed her.

Daily facetime and texting is great, of course, they never go a day without saying something to each other, at least once. But it’s been a year since he’s seen her in person, and she’s his best friend.

She was always the one who arranged the sleepovers in their school days, and Finn has to admit it, the study plan she made for him is immensely helpful. Rey has a way of being in control that Finn hasn’t mastered yet.

“You’re impossible.”

And honestly, he has to agree with her, cause now he’s drinking an iced latte, his heart beating a little too fast, while Poe shows him pictures. He tries hard not to think about which one, of the many people his friend tells him about, could be his boyfriend.

“So there’s Hux - that’s his last name, never would tell us his first name, weird guy - Jessika, Phasma, Snap, Zori and Kylo.” Poe’s listing names, pointing to the faces.

Finn can’t help but smile, watching Poe’s enthusiastic arm movement, looking at each photo with nostalgia, his voice smooth like honey.

He notices his leg jumping up and down, that’s always a thing he does when he’s excited and it used to drive Rey insane. Finn doesn’t mind it.

“Of course you don’t mind.” She would tell him, whenever he took Poe’s side in the argument about whether or not it was annoying, and each time he would desperately hide his blush, giving Rey an intense look until she laughed at him.

Finn knows she’d never say.

They’ve joked about it, they really have, but she would never betray his trust like that. They pinkie promised, anyway, so if Rey did let it slip, she’ll hear for it til the end of eternity.

Finn knows the reminiscing smile on Poe’s face, and he has to clear his throat to not let his thoughts drag him to overthinking all this, “I bet you miss them, now.”

Poe nods. “I do.”

He then shrugs, and Finn hasn’t given up on reading his friend, but it sure is getting harder.

“But also, spending every waking moment with the same group of people is well,” he laughs at himself, “It can put anyone on edge sometimes, you know? Especially cause there’s no way to be alone. Not really.”

All Finn can do is nod in silent agreement.

He can’t imagine how that must be. Hell, he thought a dorm room would be the worst living situation possible, before he headed to America.

And because those words touch him in an unexplainable way, and because Finn can’t ever keep his damn mouth shut can he, he lets the question, “Did you miss me?” out into their comfortable silence.

Finn’s curses himself immediately.

The dreamy man in front of him looks up with a smile, again, this smile that’s soft but also utterly charming. And now he’s biting his lip, and well, Finn doesn’t know how to interpret any of this.

Poe takes his hand across the table, but turns it so his knuckles are resting in his friend’s palm. “Goes without saying, buddy.”

And how in the world is this happening, how are they holding hands, again?

Finn cannot possibly say he hasn’t experience this kind of affection from Poe before, because, well, he has. Poe loved holding his hand, Rey’s too.

And he could never tell whether his friend was making it harder for him, or, if this touch was what Finn craved from him, even if they could never actually be a thing, then, at least, he’ll have this.

Honestly, it’s return is more or less making him unsure of how to breathe.

Unlike their previous meeting, Poe doesn’t draw back his hand immediately, maybe only a few seconds later, and Finn wishes he didn’t count the seconds, but he did.

Surely, Poe must be noticing his nerves? Or maybe, possibly, he thinks this is Finn’s natural state, around everyone. 

He wishes he knew, and he knows he should be telling him then, like Rey says, but boy, it’s terrifying, the thought of just telling him about his seemingly forever lasting crush on his childhood friend after randomly stumbling upon him and barely knowing about his life now.

Finn must be deemed to suffer, he thinks. If his feelings haven’t faded away now, he has this nagging fear, that, maybe, it never will.

And he may have confessed his thoughts about Poe to Rey, but what he hasn’t told her about is the Valentine’s Day letter he may or may not have written and slipped into his best friend’s locker.

Yeah, it’s, just, listen, okay?

It was short and sweet, or at least, he liked to think that. His fifteen year old self had sat up till a way too late hour to finish it.

Guess you can say it wasn’t really a letter, because Finn liked music, and for a long time, he’s expressed himself easier way that way. So he may have put a list of songs that made him think of his friend. Is that cheesy?

Finn would be lying if he said he could clearly remember which he put down, it’s been so long, and truth be told, he might’ve desperately tried to wipe that memory, anyway.

He signed off as a ‘secret admirer’, obviously, because he’s read those romantic teen novels, and there’s no way he had… the guts? The bravery? He doesn’t really know, Finn just knew he would die if Poe knew it was him.

Rey’s said before he tends to exaggerate, but whatever.

And you might say, he made a move, right? Thing is, well, when Poe found it, he was over the moon.  So, of course, he interrogated virtually every guy he knew. Except Finn, of course.

The reason why he is trying, so hard, to forget this tiny glimpse of hope is because someone took the honor for it. Yep, a real blow to his confidence, to be honest.

So Poe had a boyfriend for a while, which made Finn lose his mind even more, if that’s even possible. The relationship didn’t last long, though.

Lucky for Finn, Rey excitedly exclaimed at the time, except Finn still didn’t act.

He swears, he almost did, biking around the neighbourhood on a Sunday evening with nothing better to do, when Poe looked more beat down than he’s ever seen his friend before.

Apparently, whatever his name was, Finn genuinely doesn’t remember and it’s like it matters, really… anyway, this guy eventually confessed the letter wasn’t from him.

So this evening was one of only a handful occasions where Finn did most of the talking.

And he just couldn’t bear the older boy being quiet, so he shoved his feelings down for what felt like the millionth time and told him bad jokes until the smile he knew so well resurfaced.

It always does. He wishes Poe would smile forever.

Besides, even though this guy was a douche, at least to Finn, he wasn’t Poe’s best friend since before puberty. And that sealed the deal for him to never to do anything, no matter how many times their stubborn friend tells him it’s stupid.

God, are unrequited feelings always this painful? It’s the only one he’s ever had, to be fair.

Finally, after what seems like more than four years, the hand leaves his, and it’s flickering through the photographs again, delicately, and with so much care.

But he can’t help looking at Poe’s face, reminding himself of every feature he memorized so long ago, like his brain’s telling me they’re going to be pushed apart once more.

And Finn wills his friend to look at him, and he does. He always does, really.

And he wishes to know what’s going on in Poe’s head, and for all that is good hopes he doesn’t realise what’s going on in his own.

…

Rey is coming home.

Well, she’s going to visit, she said. Obviously, she’s still got her degree and work in France, and the apartment, it’s not like Finn’s expecting her to move back.

That would be kind of nice, in theory, wouldn’t it?

In the course of, Jesus, almost two months now, things have been pushing Finn out of his new routine, things that were once part of it

He’s moved back into his parents’ basement, and honestly, this gap year was supposed to be relatively uneventful, it really was.

Free of stumbling into his childhood friend slash man of his dreams, at least, but it seems like he’s waking up to a surprise every day now.

Finn really can’t deny that Poe’s stressing him out. And making him nervous. Maybe a bit giddy, shut up.

His stomach aches every time he sees him, and it's always in the coffee shop, so sometimes, Finn allows himself to imagine them as dates because he's pining, okay?

It’s this constant reminder that Poe, well, he just exists in the same space right now, and his stupid texts with winky faces, and maybe, he’s drinking too much coffee now, too.

Poe’s always got his order ready now, and this act has a domestic tone to it that Finn’s not really willing himself to think anymore about.

He always thought he was missing something, as stupid and cheesy as it sounds.

It’s his dream school, of course, and his friends are wonderful, and his ex-girlfriend, still very good friend, Jannah, is close to his heart, too.

But Poe just fits, you know? And Rey too.

Growing up, he had many worries in his life, but at the end of the day, he always knew he could fall back on the two.

It’s like when he got drunk for the first time and his two friends were there with their overly caring, which he really can’t blame them for, because when it happened to Rey, he was there, too, obviously.

It goes without saying.

And Poe always squeezes on his heart, just a tiny, tiny bit every time he sees him, and it’s just a daunting realization that his friend may never know what he’s doing to him.

But Rey’s arriving today.

She called Finn before boarding, a conversation that went a little overtime and might consist of her almost begging him to just take his shot, as she said.

Her girlfriend’s coming too, and weirdly, this is both Poe and Finn’s first time ever meeting Rose.

Oh, in Rey and Finn’s more than weekly facetime he’s talked to her numerous times, but it’s not really the same, he thinks. It’s different being in the same room.

That’s what he learnt from these encounters with Poe, anyway.

And said man once again has invited Finn to coffee before they pick up the girls at the airport. He’s not even working today, good Lord.

So maybe, Finn’s been at Poe’s flat one time. It was just last week, actually.

It’s a small, humble one, and it just works for Poe, like, screams it in the wall art and the model plane he got on his fourteenth birthday that he’s, somehow, managed to keep intact all these years.

It’s the first thing Finn mentions, and his friend’s jokingly grumpy look when he laughs is just so endearing.

And that just took him back to their teenage hangouts, more than anything.

Poe wanted to show him more pictures, and boy, he had plenty of cardboard boxes piled up in a corner containing just that.

And it turned out, not only military time photographs, but old photo albums from before they were split up. A lot of them. The fact that Poe’s kept all of this jumbles up Finn’s insides, and his brain, to be honest.

“Welcome to the corner of shame.” he had said, with that deadpan expression he thinks is sort of menacing, like he’s about to tell a scary story, but honestly, it’s hard to take that serious.

Finn doesn’t say that, because despite them both making fun of each other loads of times, in this moment, it just makes him nostalgic.

If Rey were here, she would probably call him a loser or something, and Poe would stick out his tongue at her, because he’s not that great at comebacks, really.

He might be a bit infamous for starting conversation, arguments, whatever you call it, and not knowing how to finish them.

The fact that Finn finds even that endearing about him, well, he’s long gone.

But he’s known for years, because his other best friend loves to remind him.

Trust Finn when he says this, he’s seen every single photograph Poe owns, and that’s really the main reason they went to the flat, because there’s no humanly possible way he could carry all these to the coffee shop, but they ended up with a movie night because… yeah.

He would’ve stayed over, except that’s just about too much teenage sleepover memories for Finn to handle.

He also noticed the flat to be empty of other residents, except Poe’s dog, who instantly loved him, and his friend knows Finn will get close to tears near absolutely any dog, so. The postbox had only Dameron on it, too, not that he deliberately read on it, or anything.

But whatever, he’s sure Poe must have a boyfriend, somewhere. How could he not?

Perhaps he’s biased, but Finn’s sure there’s no aspect of his best friend that’s not lovable.

And the thing is, Poe’s confident, except when he’s not, like when he ended it with that guy who took the credit for Finn’s work, and for some reason, he started finding flaws to himself.

Listening to it clenched Finn’s heart in a different way than when his friend smiled at him, this was the sort of thing that made him want to curse the world, and that stupid guy, and prove Poe wrong in all this internalised criticism he has put on himself.

Regardless, Finn’s in the coffee shop, iced latte as usual, Poe’s drinking black coffee because he’s weird, and the conversation’s just swarming around being excited about the last part of their trio being on her way.

“You’ve talked to her girlfriend before, right?” Poe asks, biting his lip like he’s about to meet his partner’s parents, God, he is so likeable, why doesn’t he think that himself? Finn should remind him more often.

“Yeah,” he chuckles in his reply, “She’s so cool, honestly. Still weird to think of being in the same room as her. You know. Both of us existing.”

Finn shakes his head at himself, because he always does this with words, but Poe always smiles at him fondly, so even though it causes that familiar stomach ache, it’s worth it.

“I’ve missed this. You’re so deep.”

Their laughs are quiet and he has to say he feels like they’re meaningful. Or he doesn’t say it out loud, but you know what he means.

Thing is, Finn’s almost settled into this, like maybe he can see Poe again, everyday, and sure, he still feels just as strongly as before, but he’s learning to hide the nerves again.

Unfortunately, his best friend manages throw him out of the loop, once again.

Because suddenly Poe’s saying, “See this,” and Finn’s about to ask just how many photo albums he’s got laying around when what he pulls out is anything other than a photograph.

Remember that love letter Finn talked about before? It’s that damned thing Poe has in his hands now.

Firstly, it’s crumbled to oblivion, and he cannot believe his friend has it.

Can paper even, like, survive that long? Finn doesn’t really know.

He does know he feels like throwing up.

But he can’t really excuse himself, not only because this would blow this bottle up your feelings game Finn’s been playing for years now out of the water, but also, they’re supposed to be making their way to the airport soon.

Fuck. What is going on?

“You remember this?” his older friend inquires, turning the paper over in his hands, carefully, and honestly, it would probably return to dust if he didn’t.

How- Poe kept this stupid letter? Surely, Finn expected he’d have thrown it away, in a physical sense and in his mind, after that first breakup.

And Finn nods, swallowing the lump in his throat while the man in front of him continues, “It’s- I kept it in my jacket, even when I was the army.”

Finn knows exactly which jacket, because it’s also one probably too worn out but still being kept alive, multiple patches and stitches for as long as he can remember, “You did?”

It’s a small “Yeah,” he gets as a reply, and well, you already know how his smile makes Finn feel, “You know, I never found out who wrote it.”

And he just can’t reply, because Poe looks like he’s reminiscing, and Finn just wants this to be over. Can almost hear Rey’s encouraging, tired voice in the back of his mind.

“Sorry.” his friend then says, after the shortest silence, already folding the paper back together. Finn still can’t remember the songs, or if he wrote anything else.

Poe glances at the clock and mutters “shit” under his breath, and suddenly, the letter is put in his pocket where it came from, and whatever this moment was is over as quickly as it started.

And his friend gulps down the rest of his coffee in one go, yuck, and he rushes, and stresses, and Finn’s struggling to keep up.

Poe’s still got his hand in his pocket. That’s extremely inconvenient, especially with his bag, why is he doing this?

Finn wants to know just what his friend was thinking about when he brought that letter to light, because, well, God, it must mean something to him if he kept all this time.

It has to, right? What’s he supposed to do with this information?

And also, Finn doesn’t realise that he’s standing still until Poe’s voice sounds somehow a bit further away from him, it’s like he’s staring into nothing and not looking at his childhood best friend.

“What’s the matter?”

He zoned out, he’s zoning out.

It’s just- Finn doesn’t know what he’s trying to think of. All that’s going on in his head is Rey’s convinced mindset, telling him that Poe loves him, if that is platonic or romantic, it doesn’t matter.

He guesses Rey’s right. Maybe. That platonic only option is gonna hurt, though.

Poe’s coming closer again now, except it’s like Finn’s watching this going on outside his body, like a third person, or from above, maybe, and when his friend surely has to tell him they’re in a hurry again, it comes out of his mouth too choked up, too out of place and time for his liking, “I need to tell you something, Poe.”

And his older friend furrows his brow, of course, his stressful demeanor instead morphed to a frown of confusion, and despite of the world possibly crashing upon him this second, Finn continues, because fuck it, “I- I really hope you won’t look at me differently.”

Poe stands in silence for the shortest of the moments, mouth slightly agape, “Buddy, what are you talking about?”

Buddy. That should pretty much settle it, really. Their friendship will most likely put to the an end, or put in a hold, if he flees this.

At least Finn can tell Rey he tried. And say “I told you so,” might as well, now that he’s at it.

Which is why he squeezes his eyes shut for a second instead of looking at this man he knows so well, because well, he’s already distancing himself from everything right now, “It’s my letter, you know?”

And god, has the sound of traffic ever been so jarring.

Finn doesn’t even register the movement at first, he wonders where this is going, only he’s not the one moving, in fact every fiber of his being tenses up when Poe is suddenly as close to his face as they were in puberty.

The older man looks perpetually confused, honestly, Finn doesn’t blame him.

There’s a lot of blinking until, “Are you serious?”

“Yeah,” and you know Finn by now, his brain desperately tries to catch up to speed, throwing words out of his mouth in an unusual stutter, with no real meaning to the madness, luckily, Poe knows this stressed state of his, and a hand finds his shoulder.

It’s smoothing out his collar just a bit, his friend’s expression starting to change again, his eyes pleading to understand, “Finn, I need you to breathe.”

He does. They’re breathing the same air, always, he’s so acutely aware of it now than before.

Why has Poe even stopped him in explaining? He just needs to explain, despite there not being anything reasonable to say, because why does Finn feel the need to defend these feelings? 

Maybe to soften inevitable blow, surely, Poe doesn’t even look fazed, actually, maybe he’s not shaken by it, that’s something.

“And I need you to tell me why Sweater Weather reminds you of me.”

“What?”

“Please?”

Oh, that comes back to him. Finn was far from prepared for a question like that, when a possible rejection was replaying until he might lose his mind.

He just shrugs, almost wanting to be outside his body so he can shove himself.

Why is Poe looking at him like that? It’s just that same smile. His eyes are soft now. His hand just gesturing a bit.

Finn recalls the feeling of hearing that song, but he’s not sure how to say it. It’s like, he can’t tell what his friend wants out of it. No matter what he says, it’ll probably be cheesy, but Finn was fifteen when he made the list, after all.

“I don’t know,” he says, shrugs again, they should probably be going, why is this lump in his throat getting bigger, “It’s like, when we were snowed in, when we watched Alien, you know? I freeze so easily, you know? And you make me warm.”

That’s what he wrote, the little note in the bottom. You make me warm. My heart beats too loud when you’re around. I wonder if you can hear it. I wonder if you know how easy it is to love you.

“I do?” and either Finn’s hallucinating right now, or Poe’s smiling even bigger.

“Yeah. It- it’s like home. I wished I could make you feel that way.”

Why not get everything out in the open now that they’re at it, huh. Poe’s looking at him, though. Like, really looking at him. There’s crinkles forming at his eyes, Finn wonders if they’ve always been there.

And his friend lets out a breath. What is going on-

“You think... would it be okay if I kissed you?”

Who the hell is Poe kidding, right now?

Finn doesn't if he wants to scream at the top of his lungs because this absurdity or because of this glee. 

This year's really going way beyond his expectations already, and God forbid this moment ends, it seems way more like one of his daydreams than reality.

"You want to kiss me?" Finn asks, because it's hard to believe. It's almost like he should be banging his head against a wall for hiding this for so long.

Not that he knows if Poe's, well, wanted to kiss as long as he's wanted to kiss him.

"Buddy." he says, of course he says that, but now it's almost morphed into a new meaning, one where the classic, wonderous Poe smile is a smile of adoration, like a feeling that Finn might have overlooked it all the years they've known each other, for some reason, one that gives him goosebumps. 

"Of course I do. That's the feeling I've never told you about. You make me feel that without even trying."

Well, of course Finn nods, of course, he cannot do anything else than believe him, because this is what, finally, eases his stomach and releases the chokehold on his breath.

This is what makes him study Poe's face and think to himself, is this how he looks when he looks at his friend?

It's like, the world's revolving around Poe, at this moment. To hell with it if that's already been said a million times before, Finn's saying it now.

Maybe Rey was right, not that he'll admit that to her today. Oh fuck, they should probably, actually, get going, shouldn't they?

He isn't eager to break this news to Poe, though, what with his chapped lips on his, and a warmth spreading from his cheeks all the way to his toes.

The buzzing of his phone can wait for another minute, right?

[gffa]

Always love your recs and appreciate the amount of time you have to put into them on top of all your normal, insanely detailed posts! I was wondering if you had any good starting places for getting into the non-film/video game/TV side of the fandom. Like what books are good? comics? There are so many!

Hi!  I’m glad you’re enjoying the fic recs!  There’s a ton out there to read, so if I can help point out some gems, I’m very glad to do so!With books and comics, a lot will depend on what you’re interested in (like my favorite era is the prequels, but I’ll read anything good, because I enjoy almost everything of SW), and you can pretty much pick up anything from the last five years or so and it’ll at least not be terrible!  Though, I have to admit, the comics have been phenomenal, while the books can’t quite reach the same heights for me.But my favorite places to start are usually:COMICS:

The 2015 Star Wars main comic title by Jason Aaron + the 2015 Darth Vader comic series by Kieron Gillen.  They’re meant to be read concurrently (at least for the first dozen issues or so) and they really kicked off an incredible era of SW comics.  The explore the time between ANH and ESB, getting into the characters’ heads and having some phenomenal moments.  Vader discovering the name of the pilot that blew up the Death Star is an iconic moment for a reason.

The 2017 Darth Vader: Dark Lord of the Sith comic by Charles Soul, which is an intense and beautifully done look at the transition from Anakin Skywalker to Darth Vader in the aftermath of Revenge of the Sith and really goes hard on showing his sunken cost fallacy and how terrible his choices were that he could never admit to, that he’s absolutely a terrifying nightmare while also being entirely human and almost pitiable.

Kanan: The Last Padawan is only 12 issues, but it’s gorgeously drawn and adds so much to Kanan’s story and is great if you’re interested in seeing what the Jedi were like inside their own Temple a bit more.  We get to see Caleb Dume become a Padawan, we get some stellar Depa Billaba moments, and a lot of heartbreak as we see Order 66 through Caleb’s eyes, as well as Kanan figuring out his way in the galaxy after all that.

The Age of Republic series (I think there’s 8 or 9 in total?) by Jody Houser are really great.  They’re single issue stories, so don’t expect big complex plots, but the character moments in each one of them, including a lot of themes that echo from one issue to another, are absolutely stellar.

Obi-Wan & Anakin by Charles Soule, which is a stunningly beautiful comic (I HAVE NEVER SEEN A PRETTIER COMIC IN MY LIFE) and seems somewhat simple on the first read--Anakin intends to leave the Jedi Order, but goes on one last mission with Obi-Wan, then changes his mind--has a surprising amount of layers and details that you can read into it, making it one I’ve reread like three times now and I’ve loved it more each time.

The Poe Dameron comics by Charles Soule are absolutely incredible.  They’re the Poe character exploration for me, the one that really set the foundation imo, as well as they capture Poe’s character and Oscar Isaac’s portrayal of him brilliantly, making him absolutely charming to read.  I still think they’re the best sequels tie-in material yet, even when I love love love other stuff, too.

Shattered Empire by Greg Rucka is also a gorgeously illustrated comic and does a lot to explore what happened after the Empire fell and the aftermath and clean up/last days of the war and was just really solidly good.

BOOKS:

From a Certain Point of View by various authors is a series of short stories about the A New Hope characters that really give a lot of cool depths to them or are just funny little moments.  While it can be hit-or-miss, the ones I would recommend reading are “Master & Apprentice” (Qui-Gon POV), “Time of Death” (Obi-Wan POV), “There is Another” (Yoda POV), and “An Incident Report” (Motti, and it is the funniest thing I’ve ever read) as they provide some stellar character moments.

Bloodline by Claudia Gray is probably the best book for giving you a sense of how the sequel trilogy happened/what the politics of it are, and it’s a solidly fun Leia book and I think easily Gray’s best work for Star Wars.

Star Wars Propaganda by Pablo Hidalgo is an incredible read if you don’t mind that it’s sort of a reference book and sort of a proper novel, as it’s an in-universe reference book, which tells the story of the politics of the galaxy far, far away as shown through art history and its use for propaganda.  It’s an amazing overview of the bigger SW story and how one war flowed into the next and really nails how the governments’ actions (or inactions) lead to so much unrest.

I haven’t finished A New Dawn by John Jackson Miller, but I’ve heard nothing but good about this Kanan backstory (the early days of his and Hera’s first getting to really know each other/working together, as well as Kanan slowly starting to find himself and his path again, or at least think about doing so) that’s interspersed with flashbacks to his time as a Jedi Padawan.

Thrawn by Timothy Zahn is actually a really great book, it introduces the perfect character to be the Watson to Thrawn’s Holmes, where they balance each other really well, so it takes the edges off Thrawn’s more obnoxious behaviors, while also winding it all together with showing what it was like inside the Empire’s earlier days and how the characters all came to be in the places they were in Rebels.

I haven’t finished Lords of the Sith by Paul S. Kemp yet, but what I’ve read of it so far has been really good!  It’s an intense one (as would be expected of a Vader-heavy book) but also it has moments of showing the Twi’lek’s pain at all that’s been heaped on them from their point of view, and some really EXTRA AS FUCK moments from Vader, so I’m enjoying it a lot.

If you’re interested in the sequels, I really loved Phasma by Delilah S. Dawson and Cobalt Squadron by Elizabeth Wein, I thought they both did amazing jobs at showing the backstories for Phasma and Rose Tico respectively, that Phasma is utterly batshit Star Wars at its best, that Cobalt Squadron really gave me a ton of Rose and Tico Sisters feelings.

[velvet-tread]

In which Star Wars was uplifting af for a hot second and we all hoped they wouldn’t fuck it up

TROS got a lot wrong (howls into the Rey nobody/Rose Tico void forever) but boy did they get one thing right and that was the rise of Ben Solo on Kef Bir.

And maybe I’m misinterpreting this Important Man Work with my delicate lady eyes, but for me it was about a bit more than the symbolism of Kylo Ren’s “death”, which has been much picked over already and confirmed by the production team. The tl;dr is that the whole sequence felt like it ran far deeper than a simple death-rebirth cycle, and there’s a certain rhythm to how this sequence goes down that is just pure poetry. So, I have to have do a breakdown.

Caveat: Some of my read on it may be way off what was actually intended because I fully believe this movie was written by a team of barely-sentient walruses with fanboy party hats on and we should probably lower our expectations with regards to emotional intelligence but here goes anyway.

The location is a ruined Death Star in the middle of a churning sea. A RUINED DEATH STAR. IN A CHURNING SEA.

What better metaphor is there for Kylo Ren? All of the conflict, all of the rage and all of his chaotic energy in the Force which led him down this path, embodied in roiling water. Everything he aspired to, the power and glory of Darth Vader, rotting and fragile and corrupted by the very same turmoil that corrupted Ben Solo.

Safety info: walruses shouldn’t be allowed trowels at all, let alone permitted to use them to lay it on so damn heavy.

So in the middle of this mad-dramatique metaphor Kylo Ren is chasing Rey. She lures him to the very, very edge of this Death Star, this old, crumbling dream of his, to fight him to the death. SWEET LORD THEY ARE SO STRONG AND EVENLY MATCHED IN THE FORCE AND MY KINK LIVES.

And then: Leia calls.

His mother, her mother, the mother of every Star Wars fan that ever lived. She calls. And Kylo Ren brbs out of battle headspace, Leia dies with the effort of it and Rey spears him with his own lightsabre just as they both feel Leia’s light putter out.

Silence.

This is where I get very emo even for me.  I can’t remember if the score was cut – it probably wasn’t – but it may as well have been because I just heard white noise. WHAT. A. MOMENT.

Obviously this changes everything but not in the way I – or these two characters – had been prepared for. Because what really sticks is that Kylo getting skewered isn’t the Important Development here. It’s utterly incidental. The most important development in this whole edge of the world scenario is that Leia is dead.

(Sidebar: I know that Chris Terrio has said that some of what followed was intended as Leia mindfuckery, but seeing as a) I hate that, and b) they chose to insert her “death” at the point where she reached out to Ben, I’m ignoring that extra-textual info hashtag walrus).

We get a couple of shocked seconds as Kylo Ren and Rey process. Kylo doesn’t even seem to notice that he has a gaping hole in his torso. Rey looks numb. Neither of them seem aware that the other is present. But then she looks at him and oh- not only is he physically broken, visibly made of the same flesh and bone that she is, but that horror she feels is reflected right back at her.

It’s a moment of parallel, silent grief and shared, binding humanity, and that is what I think leads her to heal him. Suddenly, she can no longer see a monster. She sees only a human being, pitiful, lost and wrecked, someone who meant something to Leia and she to him, and because’s she’s Rey, her compassion and empathy and all her inherent kindness kick in.

And look, this is where I diverge from some of the more critical views on Bendemption and its real-world meaning. Because I don’t think this particular redemption story is really about the rendemptee. This isn’t a story that centres male pain (although there is plenty of it in the ancilliary material and I Do Not Forget Ben Solo’s pain) and it isn’t a story that makes the case for redemption on a man’s inherent “goodness”. In fact Kylo/Ben, his character and rap sheet, don’t really matter in this moment.

What matters is Rey, and the choices she makes when she’s looking into the darkness herself. Her mentor is dead. She’s just won a battle and has sentenced her enemy to death. It would be very easy for her to grab that little slice of darkness she’s been so tempted by this whole time. Salve the wound of her grief with the feeling of power over another. Satiate her loneliness with anger. But she doesn’t. She chooses kindness. She chooses love.

And like, I don’t mean romantic love, shipper though I be. I mean the love that Rey has within her, separate from her idea of justice and completely unrelated to forgiveness or “deserving”.

This love that Rey has for Leia, for the Resistance, for Han, for her vanquished drama queen enemy Kylo Ren, for hot mess Ben Solo, for everyone, is so fucking powerful and redemptive in its own right it needs an executive assistant and its own en suite bathroom. It’s on her face as she weeps uncontrollably as she heals him (and damn, Daisy Ridley absolutely smashed this whole scene), and it’s reflected in his face which is – thank you Adam Driver for this – utterly incredulous that she would give him another chance at life when he knows damn well he isn’t owed one.

That is when she deals the sucker punch. She doesn’t offer him forgiveness. She tells him what he could have had if he hadn’t made his choices. “Ben’s hand” is the hand of someone who chooses the light, commits to it and sacrifices for it. Which means: power and glory isn’t worth her soul, and it shouldn’t be worth his either. That his inner conflict means nothing on its own. That the mere existence of goodness within him would never have been enough for her. Then she leaves.

*screams into a pillow for all eternity*

According to George Lucas, Star Wars has always been about love. And it’s shrouded in this cloak of unconditional human love – and I am not a fan of unconditional love in a relationship context but HOLY FUCK this is the love that counts here – that Ben Solo finds the strength to compartmentalise Kylo Ren and confront the worst thing he’s ever done: the death of his father. And the forgiveness Memory!Han implicitly offers (and it ABSOLUTELY tracks that Han Solo, who canonically cherished his son even after he was murdered by him, would offer him forgiveness, fight me) is what gives him the strength to turn away from the Dark Side, let his anger go and let the churning sea claim his cracked, volatile crossguard.

Leia’s sacrifice, Rey’s compassion and Han’s forgiveness, all powered by love, rebuilt a whole-ass PERSON and that shit is hopeful af. I thought – wow this is GENUINELY UPLIFTING AND MOVING, I hope they don’t fuck it up.

*looks at the camera like I’m in the Office*

Anyway, Ben Solo lives. Peace out.

[avengersobsession]

SPOILERS FOR STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER.

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TROS.

Four weeks later. Anybody still care what I think?

Okay, anything I think needs to be tempered by this: I went in spoiled. For just about everything. Not intending to, but I saw the biggest spoiler accidentally (KR dies) and I couldn’t deal with any ambiguity on that one, so I hunted down every spoiler hint available to see if that was true. And I disliked almost everything I heard—Palpatine’s return, Rey Palpatine, Ben’s death, very little Rose. I was so, so, so prepared to hate everything (except the promise of Reylo and a Reylo kiss—take what we can get). I went into the theater thinking, “Ugh. Let’s get this over with.”

Fellow Reylos, I loved it. Maybe that was because I was spoiled? I maintain and will maintain that Palpatine’s return was dumb. I also maintain Palpatine lied. But my attitude to all the things I didn’t like was, “Well, if they were gonna do this...they did it as well as it could be done.”

Dumb: Palpatine’s return. Reality: Opening with Kylo Ren stalking across the system to confront the old geezer, cutting through everything in his path like a cold joyless bastard? Saying, “Fuck nosferatu here, imma go get Rey and overthrow this guy and rule the galaxy with her”? Ohhhh yeahhhhh.

Dumb: Retconning Leia as a Jedi at this late date. Reality: Leia being a Jedi Master, training Rey, having her own lightsaber? OHHHH YEAHHHH. I’ve been wanting Jedi Leia since Empire.

Dumb: Going after a MacGuffen as a main plot (again). Reality: A fast-paced multi-world quest featuring Rey/Finn/Poe with funny snarking (“You were a spice runner?” “You were a stormtrooper?” “Oh, we gonna do this now?”), Chewie as a true companion at risk, Lando’s return, Rey cooing over babies, Kylo showing up here and there through the force bond to freak out and interrogate Rey, funky hidden sand caverns, Rey healing scary space snakes...guys, this was all levels of OH YEAH for me. It was fun, it was exciting...it felt right for Star Wars, what can I say?

Dumb: Shafting Rose. Reality: ...there was so much going on already! You couldn’t fit any more people on the Falcon without it turning into...look, there’s a MST3K episode of the movie Lost Continent where the party of 6-7 prepares to head out on the expedition. “Are we ready?” “I’m good!” “Can’t wait to get out there.” “Yeah, let’s go.” And JoelandBots riff, “Everybody get a line?” That’s what it would have turned into. I wish there had been more time for her but I also recognize her major story arc was completed last movie. She was not treated disrespectfully here but there just wasn’t enough time. (Us MCU Hawkeye fans are all looking at Rose Tico fans saying, “what are you, new?”)

Dumb: Rey Palpatine. Reality: STILL DUMB. I’ll say more later.

Dumb: Hux: “I’m the spy.” Reality, still dumb, but his “I don’t care who wins, I just need Kylo Ren to lose,” is pure Kylux subtext. Bitter exes, so sexay.

Dumb: Ben dyi— okay, wait. Not dumb. A very real potential outcome for this story. Honestly, I never thought JJ Abrams meant Kylo to live after he became a patricide. I DIDN’T WANT THAT THOUGH. I wanted Reylo and Reylo wedding dress and Reylo babies on parents’ hips and gahhhhhhh. And yet? This is not a bad death if there had to be death. Unredeemed Kylo Ren = bad death. Stray blaster because sometimes people just die for no reason = bad death. Redeemed Ben who is tried and executed = bad death. But this is a narratively understandable death. Fuck, it would have been really, really hard to have happily ever after with the war criminal/patricide/genocide First Order leader, wouldn’t it’ve? This is the guy who cost the deaths of his father, his uncle, and his mother just to SLOW HIM DOWN, migod. They could have worked around it, yes. As my S.O. says, “there was never gonna be Poe-Finn-Rey-Ben poker night, ‘k?”, but we could have had Ben and Rey go off together, create a new Jedi training temple and never mention the name Kylo Ren again. It. Would. Have. Been. So. Beautiful. But he was redeemed, he was Ben again, he was lovely, he was brokenhearted, he gave his life to save the Jedi Rey who was the woman he loved. AND HE SMILED AND WAS GLAD TO GIVE IT. Oh, my heart. Reylo 4evah.

Okay, the good that was not dumb at all:

-Who said this was paced badly? It was so exciting! What did you want, sitting on couches? There’s a reason the prequels are all but disavowed.

-KYLO STALKER-CHASING REY. Ah ha ha. Oh. Oh my god, every beautiful horrible line of his. “The next time I see you, you will take my hand.” “The only way you’re getting to Exegol is with me.” TAKING THE NECKLACE omigod that was the sexiest moment in the whole goddamn series. I was so expecting him to say, “I’m a NICE GUY, why don’t you want me?” next, ah ha ha. Really, it was just so characteristic of the post-rejected TLJ Kylo that absolutely had to be. He had tried being nice, no, really—“You’re nothing. But not to me.” Ah ha ha, oh, KYLO, you beautiful idiot piece of trash.—now he’s going to turn the screws. And Rey, going for the lightsaber every time to make it a fight because she doesn’t want to talk to his stupid stalker ass. It. Was. Perfect.

-C3P0 not being a prick! He was prissy and annoying and actually funny this time around, but he put away the everpresent dickishness this time. Wow. Best Threepio since...ever, maybe.

-Doing what they could with Leia. I have craved Jedi Leia forever so I’m forgiving what should have actually felt like “too little too late.” And I’m never going to get over her achingly lovely embrace with Rey.

-Han. Han. Han. I don’t even love Han nearly as much as Luke and Leia and I’m still enraptured with this moment. Does everybody get that in TFA, Han walked out on that bridge with his son knowing he was very possibly going to his death? At the hands of his own son? That when Kylo said, “I don’t know if I have the strength to do what I need to,” Han fucking knew that he was warring, that what he wanted to do was kill his father so that he would have committed an act so heinous he could never never go back to the light? That Han knew that? And gave him his life willingly because he was ready to take that chance Kylo would not do it, but also that in killing him it might haunt Kylo and help him turn back later? Han is not an idiot. And he’s that much of a loving father. So when we got to the echo of “...to do what I need to,” it was that turning point that Kylo was at last feeling. YAYYYYY.

-New characters. I liked them! They were engaging and had intriguing presence.

-Rey Skywalker. Okay, some of you hate this. But I’m more than fine with it. The Skywalkers have been the most important people in her life: mother, father, soulmate. Why shouldn’t she claim it and refuse to let the line end with the dead? Though I would have been equally happy with, “Just Rey.”

-Force dyad. You know what that means? That means in TFA when Kylo says, “What girl?” it is subtextually possible that he already knows what girl—the dyad part of him he’s always felt. Ooooooooooooooooh.

-Passing the saber via forcebond. God, I wish I hadn’t been spoiled for that one.

And now, it’s time for:

(Note. I’m not telling you it IS this way. I’m telling you this is my headcanon and I’m sticking to it.)

-So Palpatine’s alive, sort of. In him are the spirits of ten thousand Sith or whatever, which he can wield, but he’s still a walking corpse.

-He’d prefer to possess the body of a great force-user but they’d have to allow it, ritually. Kylo Ren would be good for this, but he could also be a useful ally. Meantime the Jedi Rey presents a threat. Kill her, she’s out of the picture, good enough. He could have her body to possess if he turns her, though.

-So if Kylo Ren finds him, he’ll make an ally of him and tell him to kill Rey.

-If Rey finds him, though, he’ll convince her to turn. How? Rey doesn’t want power. He’ll give her the one unshakeable thing she wants. A family. A lineage. A destiny.

-His “I don’t want to kill you, I want you to kill me,” “you are my granddaughter,” lines are just that: lines. He shows his true colors later when he snarls, “a worthless scavenger cannot inherit the dark side.”

Liar, liar, Mustafar on fire. Her parents were filthy junk traders. Rey of Jakku. Rey Nobody. Rey Skywalker because she adopts it. There’s my truth. Pbbbbbthhtttpbbthhht.