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dollria · 7 months

Note

since novembers coming up a how long would jjk men last during nnn would be perf!! ily 💞

RiA N DIS ANON CAN'T STOP THINKING BOUT. . .

⊹ ‧₊˚ ౨ৎ HOW LONG THE JJK MEN WOULD LAST DURING NNN!

gojo、geto、toji、choso、nanami、sukuna、naoya

꒰ CONTENT — ! ꒱ p in v sex、[p*ssy] spanking、fingering、teasing、needy men LOL、petnames、degrading、edging、overstimulation、cervix kisses、somnophilia、thighjob

❀┊˚➶ ｡˚ GOJO SATORU — ! ↳ fails like 1 & a half weeks in

— even though he could definitely last the whole month if he really wanted to, he doesn’t. because all he wants is to feel u wrapped around him, doesn’t even matter which part of you, he just wants u so bad </3

he was definitely being dramatic— a loud whimper falling past his lips when you first sink down on him "f-fuck you're so warmm. .", he was groaning and whining into the crook of your neck about how he missed this so much, you so much, this pussy so mu—

"j-just had t'feel you baby. ." murmurs, his huge palms spreading over the expanse of your thighs, squeezing and groping the flesh, arriving up at your hips and holding them in an unintentionally tight grip, almost as if he was afraid you’d just get up and leave his throbbing boner unattended.

"toru you’re b— eing dramaticc. !" you laugh, one particularly deep thrust making you choke on your own words, your hands tightening their clutch on his hair.

"'m not. ." he grumbles, giving your ass a spank and grabbing the flesh to pull you closer, forcing his cock deeper and kissing your cervix, his hot breath fanning over your marked and saliva-stained neck.

"i can't go a whole fuckin' month without this pussy. ."

✧┊*ೃ༄ GETO SUGURU — ! ↳ fails 1 week before december

— despite thinking he’ll easily be able to last the whole month, it’s harder than he expected with you around. he’s been trying his best to hold back all month but it’s over once he sees you wearing just a pair of panties and his shirt.

the only evidence of the hormones raging inside geto was the bulging vein on his forehead when he caught sight of you prancing around the apartment in merely his shirt and a pair of panties.

which he caught sight of when you bent over the kitchen counter, mindlessly scrolling on your phone as you wait for the microwave to finish heating up your food.

you had to be doing this on purpose, flaunting your ass at him like that and wearing the two things he liked seeing on you the most, sending the blood from the bulging vein on his forehead straight down to his cock.

he was mentally cursing the person who invented this stupid challenge he knew he was going to fail now, groaning as he palms the raging erection in his pants, shooting a glance over at oblivious little you.

just as you were about to scroll, the movement of your hand falters and you gasp, feeling geto’s hands on your hips from behind and his hard cock pressing into your ass.

just the heat emanating from your center made him groan, his fingers digging into your waist? his hips grinding forward with a mind of their own, pressing his erection further into you, "s-sugu weren’t you gonna-"

but he was already clumsily unbuckling his belt, his breath heavy—

"i can’t. screw that stupid challenge babe.. i need you so fucking bad."

◎┆→ TOJI FUSHIGURO — ! ↳ fails halfway through but it’s on ur account. .

— he thinks the challenge is stupid, but agrees to participate anyway on the condition that you do as well. he actually does fairly well because he thinks 'jerking off is pathetic above the age of 30' but he’s still glad that YOU were the one who caved in later on ( he will not shut up about it )

toji grunts, a smug grin etched into his scarred lips. green, hooded eyes looking down at you, "told ya, you wouldn't last. ." he teases, pushing you by the back of the knees to fold you into an even deeper mating press, "never listen t’me, do ya? can't even go a few weeks without a cock in this needy pussy. ." he chuckles.

despite your lips hanging open, you had not the ability to fire back at him.

you were a mess— drool and incoherent babbles leaving your lips, your pussy clinging to his fat shaft so tightly as your body bends and caves in at his will, letting him bully his thick girth into you, stretching you out.

"such a messy girl. ." he chuckles, bringing your legs over his shoulder to reach down and roughly thumb at your clit, grunting when he feels you clamp down on him.

"damn—" he hisses, pinching your clit between his thumb and pointer, making you shriek, "squeeze me any tighter ye'r gonna snap my dick off. ."

"miss me that much?" he grins, flashing you his sharp canines, leaning down with a deep chuckle to nibble on your neck, his scar dragging over your earlobe, "don't worry. . missed ya too. ." he rasps, his breath hot against the sensitive skin of your neck.

"gonna keep fuckin' this pretty pussy for ‘nother few hours. . ."

↠┊.ೃ࿐CHOSO KAMO — ! ↳ fails like 4 days in.

— poor guy was holding back sm. he was doing so well too, but with you always having your hands on him, teasing n coddling him with kisses, it was hard. sure, not as hard as his cock in his pants from your tits pressing up against his arm as you sit next to him on the couch but— it was still very hard.

he really wasn’t able to help himself— the raging hard on in his pants looked painful even to you just sitting next to him, just looking— waiting for him to cave in at your teasing touches. your soft tits smushed up against his arm, your fingers tracing up and down his biceps and along his shoulders, soft pecks being peppered along his jaw as your breath fans over his reddened ears.

he's been left with blue balls for the entirety of november ( so three whole days ) and he swore that if he had to endure any more of your teasing he'd cum in his pants right then and there.

his breathing was shaky, shallow, his lips quivering and his eyes empty as they stared ahead, zoning out and trying to think about anything else but your touch. but he just couldn't. everything that was happening right now went straight to his cock, painfully throbbing and pulsating with need.

then his belt unbuckled, his shaky hands fiddling with the stupid leather strap, eagerly unzipping his pants, his brooding eyes finding yours and silently pleading for you to touch him. and oh he looked so cute— irresistible really. with the way he looked at you, the throbbing boner straining against his boxers, which were decorated with a splotch of precum.

but soon enough he pulled those down as well, freeing his cock and revealing it to your hungry eyes— slapping his abdomen, the dark tuft of hair at his base contrasting the pink-reddish hue of his pulsating shaft with its pretty veins and his angry red tip oozing and dribbling with precum.

"please. ."

✎┊ೃ⁀➷ NANAMI KENTO — ! ↳ lasts the whole month!

— doesn’t even consider it a challenge, just one month without sex. that wasn’t really anything new to him back from when he was still a working salary man ( and single ). although he won’t hesitate to put you back in line for being a tease.

"k-kento 'm sorry kento please—" but you interrupt yourself with a shriek when his hand roughly comes down smack your asscheek, his large palm rubbing in the sting.

"what're you sorry for?" he hums, his palm still resting on your sore asscheek, "f-for teasin' you. ." you murmur meekly, biting your wobbly lip to still it, a shriek escaping them when nanami's finger plunge deep inside your needy little cunt.

"doesn't seem like you're sorry to me. ."

his fingers set a torturingly slow rythm, thrusting in and back out of your sopping hole, "tch. . , such a needy girl. . thinking you could get away with teasing me all month. ." he rasps, his fingers speeding up ever so slightly, prodding all those delicious spots deep inside you.

"i’m sorry kentoo.." you whine, burying your face in his thigh, your ass raising to meet the thrusts of his fingers, clenching around them, lewd squelching filling the room, "k-kento! please don't stop pleasee. !" you whimper, the fat of your thighs and ass jiggling with each accelerating thrust of his fingers.

you were so desperate, biting into the fabric of his pants, whimpering, head swirling with lustful fog as your hips wiggle, chasing the pleasure nanami's been denying you for hours—

SMACK!

you yelp— cut off with a mean spank. . one to your pussy this time. your throbbing cunt aching and clenching around the emptiness inside as you rub your thighs together. but with another spank, nanami stops you from doing so,

"princess. . you may not be sorry for teasing me now. . , but you will be."

᯽┊༊*·˚ SUKUNA RYOMEN — ! ↳ doesn’t even think about participating.

— no. why should he let himself be denied of what’s rightfully his to claim? jerking off also never occurred to him— even before you he's had enough concubines to take care of him. will literally fuck you up just for suggesting such ridiculous things.

"s-sorry! 'm sorry! s-sorry! sorrysorrysorrysorryso—"

he merely rolls his eyes, giving your ass a mean spank, your apologies dying down with a soft squeak, "sorry won’t cut it, foolish girl. ." he talks over your moans, not even slightly affected by how he was drilling his cock into you from behind at such dizzying speeds—

he was brutal, pushing your head down with one hand, his cock drawing the softest squeaks and babbles from your drooling mouth with each drag against your walls, his bulbous tip prodding against your most sensitive spot, pressing rough kisses against your cervix that made your head spin.

he ignores your pleas, all of them— pulling out just as you were about to cum for the fourth time now, raising a brow at your cries, "oh? you're crying now? how were you gonna last a whole month without cummin' on my dick then, hm?" he asks, gliding his engorged length through your folds, letting it rest over your stomach, "or did that 'challenge' just not apply to you?" he scoffs, smacking your ass once more, "what a stupid girl you are. ." he sighs, realigning himself with your entrance, "i’ll fuck you all month, whenever i want to. . ."

"you just won’t get to cum. ."

જ┆༉‧₊˚. NAOYA ZENIN — ! ↳ it’s complicated

you're surprised he's doing so well and he takes pride in that. you were convinced and somewhat proud until you catch him using your thighs to get off while you're asleep.

it was rare to wake up to the usually distant naoya holding you close from behind— what was even more surprising to you was the feeling of his cock between your thighs, sloppily thrusting between them and creating a hot, sticky mess.

he was so selfish— denying you of his every touch throughout all of november because it wouldn’t be 'fair' otherwise and yet he shamelessly uses your body, as you slept.

when he notices your opened eyes he grunts clamping one hand over your mouth as his other one holds you close, preventing any form of escape, "j- just be a good and— fuck. . t-take it. . just take it."

his hips sputter and his open mouthed sighs and pants swirl around your ears, becoming more frequent by the minute.

and then, with a strained groan he speaks up once more, "p-please. ." he reluctantly grunts through gritted teeth, "please lemme use your pretty body t'get off, princess. ."

( you ain’t train this man to say please for nothing 🗣️‼️ )

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violetnotez · 3 years

Note

Can you please make JJK boys HCs where their s/o is multilingual? Like they speak several languages and sometimes get asked around in Tokyo by foreigners and they get jealous bc they think it's hot but can't understand a single word at the same time. I just think it'll be cute and funny! ( U can ignore if u like) thank you tho ❤️

HC: S/O IS MULTILINGUAL | JJK

Music Genre: Rock | JJK

Characters: Gojou, Yuuji, Megumi

Warnings: cursing + slightttt suggestive content (if ya squint)

Music Collection | Tip Jar | Requests

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

Shop Owner’s Note: Omg how could I ignore this! Thank you so much anon for requesting, this ask is just the cutest! It isn’t very long, so I hope that’s okay-I literally wrote this at like 12 in the morning so if it’s a shit show I’m sorry 😂💀

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

The first time he hears you talk in another language it’s GAME OVER

He is instantly in love with the way you sound in this other language-whether it be English, Spanish, Turkish, Chinese, etc

He just thinks it’s so hot

Keeps asking you to say certain phrases in your language,,,,

It’ll start out simple like “Good morning,” and “How are you?”

But Gojo being Gojo, he’ll progressively make the phrases more intimate and flirtatious, asking you to say his name with your slight accent change from the language, how to say “I love you”,,,,,

The dude Probabaly found a new kink of his tbh 😂💀

Asked you how to say “beautiful” and now that’s your new pet name now

He really loves it when you have any chance to use your language, because you sadly speak in it so rarely even though it sounds so beautiful to him

But what he doesn’t like is when you talk to people for a freaking LONGGGGG time

Gojo is hoenstly really hyper sometimes, so if your helping a tourist in the middle of Tokyo, especially if your on your way to Gojou’s favorite bakery

This dude will do everything in his power to break you away

He tries to be subtle about it at first, like holding your hand and giving it a small squeeze,

But your not even noticing and now your laughing at whatever this random person said and he doesn’t even know what your saying...

it kinda irks him so much of your attention isn’t on him, so his solution to that is wrapping his arms around your waist, encasing you from behind

“Tell then you have to go doll, I’m starving ya know,” he whispered this into you ear, and the way he says it makes you think he’s not starving for food (if ya catch my drift) 👀😳

So with big shocked eyes and teeth biting your lower lip, you quickly bid the stranger farewell and follow Gojo, hands firmly placed in his

Gojo is hoenstly just really good at getting you to do what he wants, it’s kinda scary at this point 💀

Omg he is just amazeddddddddd

Like whoa he’s s/o is pretty, brave, AND smart?!

Damn he feels so lucky rn 🥺

He’s so excited by this new revelation, with a huge, boyish smile and eyes sparkling

If you ever try to downplay your language speaking skills, like “Oh I’m not very good at it” or “It’s not that big of a deal, a lot of people speak it” he won’t be having any of it!

Yuuji is your biggest hype man, just forcing you to be proud of yourself sometimes

“Cmon y/n you gotta admit it’s pretty cool! Some people can barely speak one language...and you can speak a whole other one!”

Deifnitely begs you to teach him, so whenever you to are out together, you’ll point out objects with your free hand that isn’t holding Yuuji’s, telling him what the objects are called in your language

Yuuji is surprisingly a very quick learner! He has struggles with grammar, but he’s very good at learning the Vocab

Your proudest moment tho was when Yuuji stubbed his toe on his bed and Sukuna must have felt it to,

Cause as Itadori was yelping Sukuna locked through Itadori’s cheek, and cussed in your language 💀

Itadori loves it when you help other people, cause it reminds him of how selfless and kind you are

Yet it just bothers him when other guys talk to you

Especially if they seem to be into you...making you laugh and smile, and they’re giving you that one “look” that kinda hints at their real motives in talking to you

And he’s just like - The hell bro I’m right here.

The worst part is that he really doesn’t know what your saying...sure, he can pick up a few words now but not able to piece the conversation together

Sukuna is calling him a “spineless imbecile” in his head and finding this whole situation hilarious as hell

He doesn’t like looking jealous, but once he knows 100% certain you’re getting hit on he intervenes quick

Usually he knows cause if your body language-you just look less into the cinversation, your body language shrinks in to protect yourself, and you laughs turn to uncomfortable chuckles

He quickly swoops in, loving how relieved you look as he wraps his arms around your shoulder, pulling you against you chest

“Thanks for talking to my girlfriend, but we will be going now,” he states plainly, his voice wounding kind yet eyes shooting our venom at the dude

But the amazing thing he said all that in your language

Proud ass moment 🥺🥺🥺🥺

He’s gonna act so indifferent

Like language skills? Okay cool to know 😐

Literally so bland about it like-

“Youre bilingual? Cool.”

Don’t let that fool you tho, this guy is kinda freaking out inside

Cause why was he so attracted to you speaking another language? Why does he want to learn it now? Maybe he should, right? Would it be wierd if he didn’t-

Hoenstly, he’s overthinking it 💀

His favorite thing is when you cuss in your language, he hoenstly finds it super funny

But jokes on him cause now he’s cursing in your language too 💀

Likes it when he has his head in your lap as you play with his hair, and hear you practice your language

The dude will literally hold up your phone/flashcards so you can play with his hair and study

Soemtiems he gets too comfy tho and falls asleep

Once he dropped your phone on his face and he a huge bruise right on the bridge of his nose 💀

First time he heard you talk in your language was when you were in Tokyo, in a mission together by yourselves

And this tourist came up to you guys who was obviously lost-

And you just whipped out this new language like it was nothing

Megumi has never been more confused-cause you never told him about knowing another language, like the hell did this come from?

Suddenly his cheeks are getting red cause wait why do you sound so hot?

Like all that shit he told Aoi about liking women with an “unshakable character” went out the damn window

He’s type now is being multilingual 💀

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ:

None of these characters or shows are my own, only the storylines and narratives I create are mine. Copying, stealing, plagiarizing, rewording, or using my storylines in other media, claiming to be your own, or reposting without my consent is not allowed.

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old-hyper-super-clover · 3 years

Text

Squeeze that bunny tail!

Part 2

Description: The RAD student council as well as the exchange students help out at a bar where, oops, the staff´s dress codes are those sweet bunny outfits that we all know and thirst for. The MCs, Violet and Clover, play a game of who can touch the most bunny tails over the evening without getting caught. Prepare for fluff, funny innuendos as well as my thirst over hot boys in bunny outfits.

The story is divided in several parts and will be updated every few days. Find Part 1 here.

Story continues below the cut, hope you enjoy!

Both, Violet and Clover, were fair players, so, as they weren't able to walk around in a pair the whole evening, Violet and Clover had to trust each other in counting their own points.

Their utmost priority, however, was still to help out at the bar, so they had to focus on that for most of the time. But whenever there was a chance tangible (in the most literal sense lol), their minds immediately switched back to their little competition.

Violet had already started with one point advantage, due to the squeeze she had given Beel's tail.

But the girl was up for the thrill, so it didn't take too long until she had found her next target.

Everyone's beloved angel man Simeon was on cooking duty with her and Barbatos.

While the butler was easily handling all of their tasks on his own, the other two were trying their best to actually help him instead of being in the way.

They were chopping down ingredients that Barbatos could throw into the hellfire hot pot he was preparing when it happened...

A cheeky little squeeze while Simeon was turning to grab another veggie, and Violet got her second point already.

The angel didn't seem to have noticed, as he kept talking with this precious smile on his lips.

The real danger, however, came through the door immediately after.

Glancing up from the pompom that Violet had just given a good squish, she locked eyes with Luke.

They stared at each other for a hot second, then Violet straightened up again, trying to remain composed while Luke looked like losing his shit any second.

"Ah, Luke!" Simeon interrupted his own narration. "Perfect timing!"

Violet gave a silent sarcastic laugh. No, not a perfect timing at all...

Luke was still trying to cope with the sin he had just witnessed, but now Barbatos approached him as well.

"Could I ask for your help with the special menu's 'halo donuts'?” Barbatos asked. “Simeon claimed it to be your specialty."

Now Luke was blushing at the compliment.

"U-uhm... Well, yes, I do make quite good donuts... Fine, I'll help!"

As he passed Violet, he threw her a last sceptical glance, but soon the girl could let out a relieved breath.

Getting Luke to fuss over reaching for Simeon's butt was certainly not something she needed, not so soon into the game...

----------------

Clover was trying to gather some safe points before risking anything.

Her main goal was to get at least ONE point, to be frank.

Looking at her options for low-risk points, her heart was beating for one particular target, but her blushy excitement made it impossible to approach that gluttonous teddy bear.

So she settled on probably the easiest target of all.

Belphie's first shift consisted of... Sleeping. Like, literally. The idea was to let him nap until his energy tanks were filled enough for him to actually be useful for proper work.

Huddled over the bar, the youngest of the demon brothers seemed so vulnerable that even Clover could bring up enough courage to go for that tail.

Couldn't be that hard, right?

Well, it could.

Just as she was about the stretch out her shaking hand, someone walked right into her way and startled her completely.

As the girl gave an awkward squeal, Mammon looked at her with almost as much fright in his eyes.

"Waah, human, what are ya screamin´ at?!"

"I-I didn't... See you there..." Clover mumbled.

"I literally just passed by..." He raised an eyebrow. But seeing how her cheeks were flushed all red, a little grin curled his face. "I didn't know you'd get so excited to see me, human. I mean, I can't blame ya for being flustered at my sight, but what's all the blushing for?"

"I-I'm not flustered..." she stammered, trying to calm down.

"Come on, you can be honest", Mammon continued to tease, his ego-boosting mode fully activated. "I look damn nice in those clothes after all."

Clover shot him a glance, mustering how his vest fit him perfectly, how his shirt was slightly unbuttoned, and that he looked prrretty dang fine in shoes with heels.

"You do" she agreed.

Now Mammon was the one to flinch.

"F-for real?!" he blushed, then cleared his throat immediately. "I-I mean, thanks, I guess."

Mammon went silent for a moment, trying to calm his heart rate over the unexpected compliment.

"Want me to pose for ya?", he seemed to joke.

Clover looked at him... and sensed her chance.

"Yes please, great Mammon!" she exclaimed.

His tanned skin flushed an even darker colour, but, being the model he was, he actually did some poses for her. Now Clover didn't complain at that -- Mammon WAS a snack after all.

But after a while, she prompted him to give her a proper view of his back as well.

He seemed confused, even more so as she told him to stand still, but in the end did not seem to have noticed how Clover quickly poked his bunny tail. And while he was busy bragging about something modelling-related, Clover also turned to do the same with Belphie's tail as he was still asleep next to her.

"Thanks, Mammon!" she cheered afterwards, having scored not one, but three points at once.

With a little hop, she tackled Mammon into a quick hug before running off in a giggle.

Clover nearly bumped into Solomon while running away.

"Oh, hello... Why in such a hurry?" The sorcerer dodged her perfectly, his eyes sparkling in amusement as he mustered the clumsy girl.

"Huh? Oh, Solomon, sorry. Didn't see you there."

He laughed. "Well, I did guess that, seeing as you were focused on Mammon so intensely. The only question is... What did you do to leave him as such a blushing mess?"

"... I hugged him" Clover said, shrugging.

But seeing Solomon's expression, she felt somewhat off. Was he waiting for a different answer...?

"Well then, time to get back to work" Solomon changed the topic. "We don't want to waste time, do we? The bar opens soon."

He turned, but had yet to get moving. Instead, Solomon was taking a look around, completely exposing his bunny tail to Clover.

Which was worth three points, after all...

And it seemed like just the perfect opportunity...

"Yep, see you", Clover replied, turning around herself, leaving.

As much as she liked Solomon, this man was emitting such shady vibes that there was no getting her to touch this particular bunny tail…

--------------

Clover had bragged to her friend about her point advantage soon after (and spoke of her concerns regarding Mr. Shady MCShady),

Which she'd later realise had been a pretty bad idea.

Maybe fueled by rivalry, maybe just because Violet had some weird kink for pompom-like things, she upped her game SO much after that. (A/N: Ok it's not a kink, I was prompted to make sure everyone knows that... (But also it's a kink believe me hehehe))

Within the next hour, Violet scored another four points.

"Asmo, Mammon, and Beel again?!" Clover cried out in disbelief when the girls found each other in the kitchen. "What's wrong with you?!"

"Hehe~" Violet laughed. "I just had some good opportunities."

Clover rolled her eyes as she was cleaning some dishes. "Yeah, great, and I've been running around with top tier difficulty peeps like Papa Luci or Solomon. Talk about unfair..."

"I meeaan... You COULD squish them..."

"Yeah, sure, and risk dying? No thanks."

"Solomon wouldn't kill you... probably."

"... I´m telling you something´s UP with that guy today, I wouldn´t be so sure of that…" Clover joked, although having shivers go down her spine.

Before they could continue this, the kitchen door flew open.

Levi was dragging a trolley full of dirty glasses along with him.

He seemed awfully pissed.

"Levi?" Violet called out. "Are you okay...?"

He threw her a glance.

"Do I think I'm okay? In a place with so many Normies?" He gave a sigh, then seemed to have remembered something. "Ah, Violet, Lucifer said he needed you in the dancing hall."

The girl gave a nod, quickly wanting to make a leave since only fools would let a person like Lucifer wait. She shot Clover a glance before leaving, gesturing her to go for Levi's tail while they were alone.

Clover instantly felt that awkward pressure back on her, but now that she got called out she had to do it.

As the demon began placing the dishes in the dishwasher, Clover slowly approached him.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"If you've got nothing better to do..." he mumbled, not looking up from his work. "Although, you'd probably do better to go out and have fun with the oth- AAAGH WHY ARE YOU SO CLOSE?!"

Clover gave an almost equal squeal as she backed away in an instant.

"I WanTeD To HeLp" she screamed.

"BUT WHY ARE SO CLOSE?!"

"DON'T SHOUT AT ME, I'M AWKWARD."

"I'M EVEN MORE AWKWARD THAN YOU ARE, IDIOT."

They stared at each other with red faces until Clover crouched down to sit on the floor, recovering from this incident.

"Wh-what are you doing there?" Levi asked.

"Sit. I like floors. It's where I belong."

The demon gave her a weird look before averted his gaze in a troubled expression.

After a little silence, he would speak up again.

"... You belong outside, not here on this stinky kitchen floor."

"Huh?"

He bit his lip sheepishly. "Serving the guests, or at the bar... Where everyone can see you."

"... Huh?" Clover seriously didn't understand what he was blushing about.

He was staring at her, searching for words, but then decided to simply poke her bunny ears.

"... Bunny maids are a clear 10/10, everyone knows that..." he mumbled.

The girl blinked, now realising he was trying to compliment her.

"Bunny butlers, too, though" she replied. "You look really good", she laughed, grabbing one flap of his jacket to play with it.

"Adasdhegagf...!!"

Yes, that is a thing Levi can say, while flushing red and bashfully covering his face.

Not able to take this compliment, he ended up on the floor as well.

"You can't just land a critical hit without a warning... I thought we were confidants...!"

"Rank six confidants", Clover nodded. "But that's only more the reason to tell you what a snack you are right now-"

"AAAAAHHH DON'T!!" he screeched, turning away from her to hide his embarrassment. "I can't deal with so much kindness..."

Clover blinked at the bunny tail right in front of her.

Target locked.

She gave it a careful squish, then snickered a little before standing up.

"But you deserve it. That's why... I'm calling a confident rank up!"

He turned his head. "R-really?! Rank seven already?!"

"Yup."

"Woah... to think I'd be such good friends with somebody one day... Thank you, Clover-chan...!"

"No, no... I have to thank you, Levia-tan."

-----------------

"You want me to select songs for the people to dance to...?"

Violet looked at the three monitors behind the DJ's table in the dancing hall.

Lucifer gave a nod. "We already added songs from Devildom artists, but we could use a little of a cultural mix" he said.

Satan walked up to Violet and Lucifer, now looking at the list of songs all together.

"We also need to add more to make the playlist last until the local closes" Lucifer continued. "I doubt that anyone will leave sober enough to remember such details, but Lord Diavolo ordered no repetitions in the playlist, so please, just help us out..."

Violet gave it some thought, not really knowing much about typical party songs. “I highly doubt my taste in hard rock will be a good representation of humanities taste in music, but... Well, that´s all I can serve with, so…” She came up with some nice picks from her own likings.

While Violet was eventually coming up with some nice tracks, in the meantime, Satan activated his pissing-off-Lucifer mode.

"Lucifer, you talk as if you'd know what a real party looks like", he mocked, referring to Lucifer's comment from before. "Have you even been to a club before?"

The oldest brother gave a huff.

"Of course I have."

"Oh? I meant on occasions other that picking up a drunk Asmo from IN FRONT OF the club."

"The answer is still a yes, thank you for clarifying."

Satan raised an eyebrow.

"Interesting", he hummed. "I can't really imagine you at a club, though... Dancing in the crowd... downing shots... or being cool in general..."

The avatar of Pride gave an annoyed sigh.

"You don't seem like a party animal either, Satan" he countered.

"Well I choose to avoid crowded places for most of the time. However, I still think I'd do better at settling in a club's atmosphere than you could."

Violet could almost feel how Lucifer's frustration piled up, even though he tried staying calm.

"Do you, huh...?" Lucifer leisurely responded.

And his outward calmness made Satan angry as well.

"You don't believe me?" the blond huffed. “Do you really think I couldn´t beat an old man at clubbing?”

Meanwhile, being in the middle of what felt like a flippin´ dance battle about to break out any moment, Violet prayed for them to stop fighting soon.

... Which didn't happen.

They kept bickering, partly because Satan talked himself into a fury and partly because Lucifer's pride was too big to admit defeat or weakness in any way.

Just when Violet had finished the playlist, Satan threw a final tantrum, leaving them with an outraged "Whatever!!" as he stomped off into another section of the dancing hall.

Lucifer pressed out a sigh, cutting through the awkward silence that had spread amongst them.

"What a troublesome child..." he mumbled.

Violet watched Satan with a worried expression, before turning to Lucifer with the same look on her face.

"... Don't worry, that is normal behaviour between Satan and me..." the male assured her. "He will get over his anger soon enough."

"And... What about you...? I feel like you are quite tense right now, yourself…" Violet asked.

"I should go and see where my help is needed now", he claimed, dodging her question.

Lucifer was gone before Violet could respond anything coherent.

Thus, giving a sigh, she decided to at least check how Satan was doing.

The avatar of Wrath was lumbering around some speakers, seeming as if he checked if everything was working as it should (despite having no idea how they were working.)

When he noticed Violet approaching, he only shot her a quick glance.

"Satan...?" The girl softly called out. "Are you okay?"

No answer.

It almost felt as if he was going to ignore her completely.

"... I don't get it” he then suddenly pressed out.

"What do you mean?" Violet took a careful step closer.

"I hate him" Satan growled.

The girl flinched, but decided not to say anything. She felt a certain frustration in his voice, and indeed, as he continued, his tone changed a little.

"He really pisses me off every time. I get angry, over nothing at all!" He clenched his fists. "And it makes me angry, his stupid face, his cocky attitude...!"

Then his shoulders fell. "... Why can't I just ignore him? I get angry, and then I get angry over getting angry. It's so...!"

Violet listened to him patiently.

"... It's so frustrating..." He mumbled.

"I can fathom..." Violet claimed, shooting him an encouraging smile as he slowly turned towards her. "But... Don't you think it's already a big step that you don't actually want to be angry?"

"... But what good is that when I do get angry after all?"

"You can't accomplish everything immediately” her expression softened even more. “What's important though is that you at least try."

Satan seemed sceptical, but in the end gave a slight nod.

"I guess... I'm sorry for bothering you."

The girl shook her head in a smile. "You´re not a bother. I´m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me."

Shyly, she spread her arms, inviting him into a hug. A little awkward himself, he gave a little laugh before stepping close to embrace her.

"Everyone needs to vent out their anger sometimes" Violet reassured.

"... Thanks", he whispered.

As they parted, Satan turned to inspect the speakers again.

"Anyway... I think we checked through everything we needed in the dance hall. I will look over this here and then head out for my break."

"Mhm..." Violet muttered. "Sounds good..."

And there, she went for it.

A little touch - she didn't dare to do more than that.

But Satan's bunny tail had been successfully poked.

He continued to speak like nothing happened, so Violet dared to wish she had went for a whole squeeze instead.

"I should be going now", the girl said.

"Alright" Satan was still focused on inspecting the equipment, so Violet made her leave.

Unconsciously, she turned her head shortly before leaving the hall.

A shiver went down her spine, leaving her paralyzed for what felt like her last moments alive.

Satan's alarmed, slightly angered glare was cutting through the air, focussing her for a hot second before he decided to turn around again.

Hurrying out of the dance hall, dodging Solomon as he had nearly run into her, Violet quickly pulled out her phone as she had withdrawn from the scene of crime:

Violet: Clover I think Satan noticed me.

Clover: As in Senpai noticed me?

Violet: ...

Clover: :D

Violet: ... No, I squeezed his tail, but later on he was staring at me. Help.

Clover: ... So he's a three-pointer now?

Violet: I don't know but I feel like I nearly died so probably.

Clover: Lolol well that's what you get from messing with Satan. But I'll be kind and give you those two points. He did not confront you about it, after all.

"Hey, Violet!"

Violet flinched so heavily she nearly let go of her phone. Her first instinct had feared it was Satan calling her, but actually, she turned to look at somebody else.

"Lord Diavolo", she said. "Can I help you with anything?"

"I want to place the free snacks on the dining tables" he smiled. "Most of them are from the human world, so I want you to help me choose the best."

He was already going ahead, leaving Violet no room to explain that she's actually SO not a snacking person and had near to no idea how to help him.

Someone gave Diavolo keys for the storage room, and as they stepped inside, he turned on the lights.

"Woah...", Violet's mouth fell open. "That's... A lot of stuff."

"Fascinating, isn't it? You humans are so creative when it comes to food!"

He led her further inside where the snacks were stored.

Even though Violet liked him a lot, it still felt weird, being alone with the Prince of the whole flippin Devildom. You wouldn't have guessed it from Diavolo's carefree aura, but Violet was fairly overwhelmed, being able to walk alongside him so casually.

She tried her best at giving some advice as they looked through the huge collection together.

"We should go with a good mix of sweet and salty snacks" she explained. "Pretzels, chips or peanuts, together with something more delicate, gummies for example."

Diavolo beamed her a smile.

"I knew I could count on you!"

And he started grabbing things off the shelves.

Violet was helping, of course, but the storeroom was also tall as frick, so for lots of bags, she had to ask Diavolo to reach for it.

And that's when it hit her.

The currently vulnerable Diavolo, reaching for a bag of extra cheesy Tortilla chips, exposing his three-point worth bunny tail, only centimetres away from Violet's reach.

She literally only had to stretch out her hand a tiny bit.

And with the waterfall of words that Diavolo was talking, he wouldn't even notice.

It would be so easy.

But she couldn't do it.

She looked around. Between all the shelves, all the packages, back to the door they came from.

They were alone. She was sure of it.

But also, Violet had never felt more watched over than in this exact moment.

There was this presence lurking in the back of her neck, threatening her the more she tried to stretch out her arm.

Waiting for her to make one false decision...

"Extra DOUBLE cheesy?!"

Diavolo turned around, holding up a bag of Doritos. "Humans are so crazy!!"

Violet blinked at him, only now noticing that her whole body had tensed up so much it almost hurt.

"Y-yeah..."

As they walked out of the storeroom, arms full with all sorts of snacks, Violet gave a sigh. She had been so close... Only a little closer, and she…

"Should I take some of those from you?"

Violet did a little jump as she heard the voice next to her ear.

Barbatos was right beside her, smiling and tilting his head a little.

"My apologies, I didn't mean to scare you."

The way he mustered her, with his bunny ears and the bow tie around his neck, he looked so cute when he gently pulled most of the bags out of Violet's grip,

But sure as hell, today the girl learned to never pull any kind of prank on the Lord of the Devildom. Ever.

---------------

Violet was trying to catch a breath so she allowed herself a quick time-out in the bathroom. When she stepped outside again, she saw Solomon waving her over.

"I heard you and Lord Diavolo brought snacks to display? Would you mind helping me bring them to the tables?"

She gave a nod as an answer.

"Great. Then, let's divide them into the bowls first, and then go around with one of the trays."

And so they did. There wasn't much happening, really. Not much chatting, but nothing strange either.

Just one thing...

A bunch of perfect occasions to squeeze Solomon's bunny tail. Like, every few moments, he was focussing on something, leaving a perfect opening...

Violet left this situation without gaining any more points.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obeyme #short story #obey me bunny event

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okeymakeydude · 4 years

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Soldier.

He's the surprise one. I mean, Solly is a man of words, and not be ashamed; He would tell S/O how much he loves 'em and even if the team is present.

Although it doesn't mean that he doesn't give some affectionate gestures. The surprise came when the team won the match, everyone was celebrating it, S/O was about to get a drink when...

"C'mere, sweetheart!"

He´d kiss his S/O hard, almost crushing their noses, and moves away to see their face, to do it again. With his arms on their hips. He also likes to give kisses on the top or back of their head, while he's hugging ´em.

Scout.

Insecure one. Oh boi, this one gets very nervous when it's about someone he really loves, so he usually gives quick kisses on the cheeks and giggles. He can't help scratching the back of his neck.

But he´s trying! While both were laughing at a joke, he fell down to appreciate the face of his S/O and smiled, slowly bringing his face closer until he stood still. What if it bothered you if he did that? He stayed a few inches away.

“... Shit”.

He was about to walk away and say some excuse, until he felt some arms around him, his love took the first step and gave him the kiss, he answered. Patience is one of the things he loves you for.

Sniper.

Ghost kisses. You can feel it but it feels like the touch of a breeze. Causing chills. He loves kissing on the neck while his arms are around, spending time with S/O alone and appreciating the person he loves the most.

Imagine, on top of the caravan on a starry night, and he can't help but talk about the constellations he sees but when he looks into your eyes...

"... yer bloody adorable, roo."

Then he rests his forehead on his S/O, to plant a soft kiss. They both laughed under their breath and then continued to listen to the forest singing.

Demoman

As i call it, "angel kisses". It may sound strange, but our merc gives kisses around the eyes or even on the eyelid of his S/O. He's smooth about it. He's never had such interactions, even between his parents, tho he remembers someone who took care of him giving kisses like that when he was little. He wants to make you feel protected.

When he sees his love, doesn't hesitate to approach 'em and then put one arm around while the other holds the bottle.

" If ye were mah partner i would kiss ya..." "Demo, we're a couple."

His surprise made you laugh and he gave a smile when realized it. He gave up drinking so could squeeze the cheeks of his love, sometimes he thinks he has no right to have you.

Spy.

He starts from the hand to the lips. As a gentleman, polite, he'll always go at the pace his beloved wants. And well, being a spy, he knows relationships aren't that easy.

Both alone in his private room, with your head resting on his legs while he's giving soft kisses on your fingers. The silence was easy to break.

"... Confortable, amour?"

Of course he's the master of pleasure, he knows almost every kind of kiss and could do it. However, he doesn't want to make the same mistakes in his previous relationships, he was fast but now, wants to go slowly but surely.

Engineer.

Kisses on the jaw, between the chin and the neck. That's his favorite part, even if his S/O is taller than him, knows it tickles and is sensitive in that area.

You could feel his hands on your sides, he wanted to get your attention but you wanted to do one thing first. A chill came when you felt his lips there.

"Oooh so cute, darlin' "

He's very passionate, usually planting several around the jaw to the ear. Compared to Solly, he's a man of gestures than words, and more when it comes to expressing how much you love someone.

Medic.

Like Engie, he'd like to touch the sensitive parts of the body; the neck, the jaw, the ears... they don't call him Medic for nothing! Their kisses last longer on the skin but don't leave a red mark.

Late at night, S/O falls asleep on the stretcher waiting for the German to finish work (something almost impossible), he realizes it and gives em a kiss on the forehead.

"Gute nacht, liebling."

He isn't a person who shows his feelings much, yet he makes an effort when it comes to his loved one.

Heavy.

Do you know that in Russia it's common to give even six kisses? This bear is not the exception! Three on each cheek and at the end, a kiss on the tip of the nose.

Both of you are lying on the couch, Heavy reading a book and translating it to you, laughing as he reads something.

"Here he says; "loving you is like breathe, can't stop."

His S/O's smile when they heard it made him happy, they knew it was a cliché, but they couldn't help but do a quick kiss before going on.

Pyro.

Kisses everywhere! They's able to give a thousand in a short time, very energetic, letting know how happy they is with you.

With their arms around you in front the fireplace, his S/O was reading a story with a happy ending. They raised their arms to clap.

"mmph phm umm!" "Do you want me to read it again? Uh..."

Suddenly you heard a whimper from em before put the mouth part of their mask on yours. You sighed, couldn't say no.

I dunno if ya wanted a second or third person, so I mixed both. Hope you liked it. Thanks 4 requesting!

Masterlist

Are u interested for a request? Then go ahead! Here's the rules!

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 headcanons #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #tf2 scout #tf2 imagines #tf2 soldier #tf2 sniper #tf2 heavy #tf2 pyro #tf2 request

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vanchlo · 3 years

Text

The Partner / Chapter Twelve, "The Resolute"

Word Count: 8.4k / Story Masterlist / Read The Assistant / Read on Wattpad / Song: Hold Me While You Wait by Lewis Capaldi (click to listen) / Warning: Sensitive and upsetting topics, such as death, grief, and miscarriage

"I never know when I will miss you. I can't ever predict just what will grip my heart with the reminder that you are gone. It could be anything. Anytime. Anywhere. You are everywhere and nowhere all at once. When the days are bright, I am blinded by your presence and even when the world is dark I still manage to find you. In laughter, I hear the echo of losing you. Your presence is overflowing in the tears that fall. Now that your body is gone, everything holds your being. I miss you in the cold depths of winter and I long for you in the thick summer breeze. You are my first rising thought in the morning and my last notion as I sink into the heaviness of the night. I thought we ran out of moments together, but every moment seems to belong to you. How can you be everywhere when you are nowhere to be seen? I used to worry about facing the world because I didn't know what would trigger my heartache. I used to be afraid of every feeling, every memory, every moment because I didn't know which ones held you. Now I know you are everywhere and I think that I know why. You're everywhere because you're somewhere inside of who I am. I am the bearer of your life and your memory. I am the keeper of your existence. Even though you're gone, I never really have to search for you. I never know where I'll find you but you are always there. I never know when I will miss you and it happens all the time"

- Rachel Whalen

I had lost count of how many times I had fallen back asleep since he had left for another day of work, the second time in the last few days. I’d be telling a lie if I said that I didn’t miss him, because like he’d confessed when he thought I was sleeping, I missed him all of the time too. The difference was that I felt it now when he was gone. I wasn’t sure why I’d bitten his head off that night about going back to work. I did but couldn’t think about it after the way he broke down in front of me and I just stood there. I didn’t do a thing. Instead, I shook my head and pushed him away. God, how could I do that to him? I thought he’d moved on . . . That’s how it went. I’d wake up to an empty, cold bed and the guilt would come in crashing waves. The hot tears would follow and eventually, I’d fall back into another fitful sleep. Nightmares were almost always guaranteed, but for the first time in our relationship, I comforted myself back to sleep. Somehow, they didn’t wake him like before, but last night when he woke with a gasp that melted into tears, I think I knew because he was busy with his own.

At first, I thought I’d been imagining it, or maybe that was just my coping mechanism by now. Denial and pretending. No, it really was and it went around like a circle. Denying the denial. But when the knocking on the door turned into the dinging of the doorbell, I knew that it was real. It didn’t stop after a few times, like the mailman would. No, this person was persistent, and I definitely was not. I couldn’t even find the strength to move to look at the alarm clock to see the time. By then, it had stopped. He’d only been gone an hour now and I missed him deeply, finding it hard to not pick up the phone to ask him to come home. I did but in my own way, and not one he’d understand, despite how he knew every page of my book.

I hope work is going well

Only a few minutes passed before a reply came in with a silent vibration.

thanks it is, just meetings again and an interview

Sounds boring. I know how you hate both. New hire?

possibly. i forgot to tell u gwen left. i hope ur getting some rest

No, you hadn’t but that’s ok. I think I only talked to her like 5 times. I’m trying.

ya she was good, just kept 2 herself. want me 2 pick up anything for lunch? anything soundin good? Starbucks? pizza? u can have whatever u want

You can pick

At that, I heard my phone lock before placing it face down onto the bedside table, not able to continue a conversation about food any longer. Another wave of irrational tears came at missing him and wanting normalcy back, but the fitful sleep didn’t follow. I wasn’t sure if I was regretful or not when I peeled back the covers, shocked by the sudden cold.

The chilling silence filling the house hit me in the face when I stepped out into the hallway. It had been choking at times, mostly at night when things were at their worst. During the day, like now, it was never this quiet. Something on the tv was always playing, and I soon found myself in front of it, watching the end of a Marvel movie Harry and I once watched.

Its sequel was nearing the halfway point by the time the doorbell rang again. It was on its fourth time now and the person still hadn’t stopped. The surprise on their face was just as strong as that of mine when I found myself at the door, in front of Harry’s grandmother.

“Hi, Becky,” she said softly, a warm cadence to her words like always. I may have been biased towards grandmas, but Harry’s checked all of the points and more. I couldn’t help the squeeze of my heart at the mere sight of her, a melancholy smile spreading on her lips.

“Claire. Um, hi. Harry isn’t here right now, he had to go into work this morning,” I rush, unsure of why I’m telling her this, except for I know why. I hadn’t spoken to another human being that wasn’t Harry or my doctor since . . since it had happened. Sure, texts to Skye, my dad, and Robbie. It was the only way to placate them from telling them I didn’t want to see them. Can I blame them, though?

“Oh, that’s okay. I was uh, hoping I could come in,” she suggests. I stand there, taken aback by her request. I had come to love this woman like she was my own grandmother, and yet here I am, not opening the door for her. “Maybe we could wait for him together with some brookies.”

Dropping my eyes, I watch as she lifts a saran wrapped plate of chocolatey looking cookies. I didn’t need to look any longer to know what they were. Her famous brownie cookies that Harry had compared any cookie or brownie of mine to over the years, and I eventually had found out why.

“You know I can’t turn those down,” I mumble, feeling the first hints of a smile. She grins for me instead, following me into the house that somehow feels even emptier when we step inside. Awkwardly, I closed the door behind her, pulling my hands back into the oversized King’s College crewneck of Harry’s I’d stolen long ago. “Can I . . Can I get you something to drink? Coffee? Water? Tea?” I stumble, watching as she takes a seat at the island, setting down one of those cloth bags beside her.

“Coffee would be fine, honey,” she says, and always with a smile. I welcome the distraction, feeling as if I’d forgotten how to talk to another person. No, I know that I have. I hadn’t even been able to carry on a conversation with Harry, nonetheless his grandmother.

At times, I still felt uncomfortable around his parents, especially his dad. If there was one of them that I felt the easiest around, it was Claire. I’m reminded of the bouquet of black eyed susans probably now wilting on the table when she notes the array of flowers taking up space over there. I nod at her words while closing the lid of the instant coffee machine, placing a tall mug underneath the spout. The compassionate words scribbled in her cursive with its accompanying card come back to me, and suddenly, the steaming coffee grows blurry before my eyes. Sometimes, I wondered if she had a feeling about things like me, because as the first tear fell, she speaks an apology.

“I’m sorry for coming unannounced. I had let Harry know I was in town and would stop by today, but he must have forgotten to mention it to you,” she begins in a low volume, a Harry-like molasses shining in her voice. I mumble an ‘it’s okay’ while watching the coffee continue to fill the mug. It’s almost done, but then what will I do to distract myself? “Harry had said your fridge was quite full, but I couldn’t help but make a few of your favorites to bring you both. Times like these, cooking feels like the last thing you want to do.”

“A lot of things do,” I find myself saying, surprising her I’m sure and especially myself. I hadn’t even been able to find it in myself to put that feeling into words and say them to Harry. It was a blessing and a curse how we could read each other so well, but I know I’d closed myself off from him a long time ago. On accident and then, on purpose.

Ripples form across the surface of the liquid as the last few drops plummet into the dark abyss. I wait, staring at the steam rising from the mug, unsure as to why. A silence had embedded itself into these walls so long ago I couldn’t remember, and it sat between us now too. I still didn’t know how to broach it, and there was no nudging the switch that would let me talk about her. I truly didn’t know how to, not even to her father. Sometimes, I wanted to forget her so I’d stop hurting, but that felt like an impossibility and then a crime. Gulping, I wipe at my cheeks and thread my fingers through the ceramic handle.

“Those are a beautiful assortment of flowers,” she comments again when I set the drink down in front of her. A forced ‘thank you’ leaves my lips when I turn around and walk towards the fridge. “You and Harry are so loved, and so was your baby.”

I’d opened this fridge how many times over the years, and now as the handle sits in my palm, I can’t find it in myself to do it. The forgotten coupons, lists, photographs, drawings from Harper and Ollie, and magnets grew hazy before my eyes. The hum of the coffee machine cooling down wasn’t enough to mask the whimper that escaped my lips, no matter how desperately I tried to shove it down. After breathing in and out a few times, it still didn’t help, but I was able to open the door and grab what I’d needed.

Keeping my head down, I set the coffee creamer in front of her, not spending a second more facing her with the damage on my cheeks. As the spoon clinks against the sides of her mug, I distract myself by finding room in the fridge for the filled tupperware containers she’d taken from the bag. Scribbled labels adorn the top of each one, but I look past them as I stack them on a shelf. From the corner of my eye, I saw her stand from her seat to look at the flowers, thumbing at the typed messages. It’s not until the last one is snug against a container of yogurt and strawberries that somebody says something.

“They always say the same things, don’t they?” she murmurs with an out of place scoff, sounding like a hum from her lips. The tears had dried up as I thought about how to fit a container of beef stroganoff amongst tater tot casserole, but when I turned around, her face still falls. “It was the same with Steven too. They all say that they understand, but there’s no way that they can. They hadn’t lost their spouse, or . . their baby.” This roots me to the spot and we spend the next few moments looking at each other as her Soft Rose lipsticked lips fall.

“I didn’t want to come, Becky, because I know that when I lost my loves, I wanted to be alone. But that was where my demons lied in wait, and I don’t want you to go through the same thing I did when I lost my baby,” she continues. I couldn’t tell if it was the light or the way my eyes deceive me with a returning wetness, but a similar glint appears in hers. It holds my attention for a mere moment until my heart starts to pound against my ribs. “Steven and I were a little younger than you and Harry when we lost our baby at four months.”

There could be no saving my throat nor my eyes as I gulp against the dryness, feeling all of the wetness detour down my face. Her words ricochet inside of me, bouncing off walls. For the first time in too long, they sink in and make me feel something. I resist at first, not wanting to let my chest shake or my heart race, but there’s no stopping it. Staring back at her, she quietly sits back down and takes a sip from her coffee. Looking back to me, a corner of her mouth twitches as a gleaming droplet beads at her chin.

“What has it been now? Fifty five years and I still miss them . . my little baby,” the blood pounds in my ears as I stare at her in what, amazement? Horror? Complete and utter surprise? Probably, all of them.

“Gran, I-I never knew,” a voice says from behind me. Turning, another wave of shock courses through me at the sight of Harry with his hand on the door to the garage.

“I never told anybody, except for my immediate family when it had happened . . The thing was, the taboo around miscarriages and infertility hasn’t changed a whole lot since then. It disappoints me really . . Back then, you didn’t talk about it. Now, sometimes you talk about it, but it’s just the same. It’s near to impossible to speak about. Friends and family want to say something, but they don’t know how to without hurting you. So, instead of mentioning the loved one you lost, people don’t when they think of them, and they’re forgotten. That’s always been my worst fear, and I don’t want either of you to go through that- I cried when your mother told me what had happened, Harry. My heart breaks for the both of you, knowing that you’re going through the same nightmare that my Steven and I did.”

A puff leaves his lips and I can almost hear him gulp as sound evades us. Words haven’t been a friend to my lips in what feels like months, and right now isn’t an exception.

“I’m so sorry, Gran.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, Harry. I’m so sorry that you lost your baby . . I heard it was a girl, your daughter,” her words are ginger and slow. Somehow, another piece joins the puzzle, but it still leaves me staring at the floor as tidal waves crash inside of me. “It was a long time ago, but I still miss them and wonder who they’d be. I’m sorry to say that never goes away, and that the whole b-s of ‘time heals all wounds’ isn’t entirely true. You just build up scar tissue to it, but some days are worse than others. I miss Steven terribly some days, like the day you announced your engagement, and your pregnancy. When your mother told me over the phone three weeks ago, I wished he could’ve been there too, for you to talk to about fathers losing a child. Men are still pressured to not show emotions but it was just as hard on him to lose our baby, and sometimes fathers are forgotten.”

A mess of emotions roils inside of me, flipping my stomach upside down. My heart too, arguably. The last sound that I make out is a sniffle of his before I’m bringing my hands to my eyes, and sobbing against them. It felt like I stood there for minutes before escaping down the hall, when it was only a few seconds in reality.

I wasn’t certain if they knew what I did. That I could hear them from the bedroom down the hall, the place I’d come to retreat to instead of Harry’s arms. I felt him coming towards me just moments ago, but I couldn’t do it. I think I’d almost forgotten what his touch felt like. If they thought I could hear them, they probably had mistaken me for being asleep or for not listening. I think they tried to keep their voices down, but despite Harry being a closet musician, there wasn’t much for treatment to these walls. He’d joked before about having sex one night his mom stayed here but I pushed him away, chalking it up to thin walls.

Now, the memory wasn’t that funny to me as I heard their conversation. I almost felt guilty, as if I was cheating by hearing them, but this was the only way I could take part in a conversation I know I should be part of. I didn’t think that I could even speak if I had wanted to, because of the hiccuped sobs that filled my chest, making it hard to speak. I know that I made the right decision when my head rests against the door upon hearing about what they say next, about me.

“I can hardly get her to have a conversation with me, Gran. Let alone about . . about the baby.”

“Oh, Harry. You just have to give her time.”

“I know and I have, but it’s becoming all the harder to feel as time passes. She’s getting worse and I’m barely staying put together. It scares me so much, because I don’t want to lose her too. If I did, I’d lose everything I have to live for.”

At last, the sound of my choked sobs drowned out that of their voices. By the time my lungs calmed down and my heart hardened once more, it was quiet. I missed his voice despite how it had almost betrayed me to another, and made me hurt. My rumbling stomach ultimately won the race and it was what led me down the hall, and without knowing, back to her. I blamed it on the appetizing smell wafting from the kitchen.

I’d already seen her and had decided to keep going, but upon passing the island where she sat again, I heard her intake of breath. Harry wasn’t anywhere to be seen, despite the wiped clean plate in the sink with the large fork and an empty can. He was the only one who used them and who drank the sparkling waters that I thought tasted like bug spray.

“I’m so sorry, Becky. The last thing I wanted was to upset you, honey.”

“You don’t have to apologize. Frankly, I’m rather tired of people saying those two words, but thank you,” I return, a steadiness arriving in my voice that I didn’t know I’d missed. “Can I-?”

“Of course, it’s all yours,” she insists with a smile. Nodding, I pick up the serving spoon and a plate, feeling my stomach grow happy at the sight and smell of her famous homemade lasagna. “There’s garlic bread in the oven and salad in the fridge. I’m just going to use the little girl’s room.”

I almost smile, realizing that I’ve missed her and just maybe, I feel okay enough to talk about it. I’d found a seat at the island beside her empty cup of coffee, already digging into the lasagna. An almost embarrassing moan left my lips at the taste of the layers of cheese, pasta, and bolognese sauce.

“Leave it to Claire to find the way to your heart,” somebody comments. Turning, I find Harry walking towards me with a tilt to his lips. He unrolls the hem of a Queen Bohemian Rhapsody shirt, looking more like himself now that he’s out of a suit. Sometimes, I still catch myself thinking that it was always the opposite, seeing how I’d know him to always be in suits for so long.

To my surprise, I don’t flinch or pull back when his hand arrives on my shoulder as I wipe my mouth with a napkin.

“You don’t know how happy it makes me to see you eating, and enjoying it . . I’m surprised you haven’t broken into that plate of brookies yet,” he comments. Something happy buds on my lips when his lips sponge a kiss to my temple.

“So am I,” I reply, cutting myself another bite of the food. To my happiness, his arm comes around my shoulder and stays there. I welcome it and feel a warmth grow in my gut upon finding the courage to meet his eyes. They hold something that I learn to be mischief when he plucks one of the cookies off the plate. “Hey, save some for me.”

“Don’t worry, they’re all yours. Well, except a few for me. Maybe we could split them down the middle. Half for me and half for you,” he suggests with a cocky shrug to his broad shoulders. It surprises us both when my lips spill a few second giggle. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed that sound.”

“I’ve missed you,” it’s but a squeak and still, I know he hears it by the sad curl of his lips. “I’m going to try.”

“Thank you, my lovebug. That’s all I can ask for,” he smiles, stealing a quick peck from my lips. It catches me off guard and I find myself staring at him while he manages to take a bite that’s half of the cookie. He winks at me and I turn away, shoveling a large bite of cheesy pasta past my lips.

Another bite had donned my fork by the time Claire found her seat beside us. I’d made a dent in my garlic bread by now as Harry worked on his second cookie.

Swallowing, I loaded my fork with a scrap of melted cheese and bolognese sauce. “Claire. How . . How did you do it? Be okay again after losing your baby? It . . It feels impossible,” the words seem to come from nowhere at first.

After a few moments, I know where they stem from, and just how much importance they hold. It looks back at me in Harry’s eyes when I peer up at him, smiling back when he thumbs away a tear below my eye. As her response hits our ears, I reach my arm out and across his back, holding tightly onto his side. I didn’t let go once as we cried together with his grandma about our lost babies, and neither did he.

I went to bed with a hope in my heart, thinking that tomorrow would be different. Alas, I woke up to an empty bed and it wasn’t. I wasn’t surprised but sure, I was let down. I knew that somebody else would be much more disappointed than I was, if that were possible.

It wasn’t long after my waking realization that there was a knock on the door anda creak, “Hey, buggie. I’m making french toast. How many pieces do you want?” The rest of the night had been uneventful, for once. His grandma stayed for another hour or two as we ate cookies and I finally talked about it. Her. Now, lying with my back to Harry, I didn’t know how to do that again. To talk. “Wakey wakey, it’s nearly noon.”

His voice was closer now as his hands settled on my shoulders from behind. The feeling of his thumbs kneading the tissue made me want to let him drive away the intrusive thoughts. To let him win, but I didn’t know how. Yesterday had seemed like a fluke, as I looked back on it. Even if he was her father, how could I explain to him the hollowness that had filled me when I remembered that my child had died inside of me? No, that wasn’t something he could understand, nor could he hear how much I wished he had been there that morning. That the fact he wasn’t there had changed everything. I couldn’t tell him that and I never wanted to, but I’d gotten close. At the times his nagging and hovering drove me up the wall, my tongue itched to deal the worst blows just to get him off my back. I knew it was wrong, so much of it was but I didn’t know how to stop. All I knew how to do was to drown myself in my regret afterwards. Sometimes, I was mad that we couldn’t keep alcohol around, but at others, I was glad for it.

His molasses voice murmurs my name once more, another time that I ignore, until I can’t. “No thanks.”

“I can bring it in here for you. There’s bacon and strawberries too. Orange juice, as well.”

Shaking my head, I bury my face deeper into the pillow, finding that it has his smell. At one time, he had been my safety blanket, but now it was his smell that could calm me down. I wanted to feel guilty about it but I didn’t have the energy to feel guilt because of anything else as it was all focused on one thing.

“I’ll have a little bit,” I surrender, listening to his hopeful response before leaving. For once, he let me eat alone in the bedroom. But he still inspected my plate, and I could tell that he was biting back a remark as he read the paper at the island.

“Can we talk?”

“What about?” I replied, bending over to place my dishes in the dishwasher. Standing back up, I fail at readying myself for his next onslaught of questions. The ones that I can’t answer.

“You know . . About Phoebe,” he answers. I hear it, the way he has to shove the words past his lips in order to get them out. I only know because I’ve done it a thousand times, and often with him. You do it when it’s too hard to say, but you know that it has to be done regardless.

“What’s there to talk about?”

“Becks,” he sighs, annoyance clear in his voice. “I thought you said that you were going to try. Last night went so well and you did great, I-.”

“I just can’t do it today. Okay, Harry?” I retort tearfully, catching the sagging of his features when I lock eyes with him. Sighing, I forget the cookie I’d picked up, placing the saran wrap back over it.

“So what, we need to schedule a fricken time to talk about it?”

I’d begun my retreat, but I wasn’t far enough yet. No, if I was in earshot of Harry, it wasn’t over yet. It had always been that way, ever since the beginning.

“Harry, please,” my words start, decorated with tears that drag my words underwater.

“We got pregnant and we . . we had a miscarriage, Becks. It’s nearly been a month now, but what comes next? When do we get back to normal?”

I hadn’t even been facing him and the words felt like a slap in the face. The look on mine must have felt similar to him, because when I turn around to look at him through blurry eyes, he melts into a puddle of regret.

“I didn’t mean it that way, Becks. Not-.”

“Not what way, Harry? That we should just forget about it and move on with our lives? God, you’re sounding like the doctor the other day who said that we can start trying again whenever we want. But I don’t want to try again yet, Harry, because I’m too scared that we’d lose another one- I mean, what if I can’t have kids? And- I don’t want to forget her or replace her,” but he didn’t hear the last part and I hadn’t decided if I’d wanted him to.

“You don’t know that, Becks, and that’s not what I meant at all. I promise,” he interrupts. The legs of his oversized sweatpants sag down to his ankles when he stands. “I didn’t say we had to get pregnant again right away. I’m fucking scared too. I just mean that I want us to get better. Collectively and on our own. I hate seeing you so upset all of the time, and just want you to be happy. We’re supposed to get married sometime this year and I still don’t know when that’s going to happen. The house is going to be ready in a few months, and I wanted to bring you there one day to look at the progress.”

I had begun to shake my head long before he’d stopped talking. It brought an edge to his words and an annoyance that I didn’t like, despite inciting it. A loud puff passes his lips and he returns to the chair, raking a hand through his hair. That either meant annoyance or boredom, or both. Like I tend to do, I take it personally and figure he’s both annoyed and bored of me, not that it was anything new lately.

“I can’t do that, Harry. I-I can’t,” fumbling with my words, my hand gets caught in my hair as I avoid his eyes. It doesn’t stop him from retorting an inquisitive ‘why not?’ “How am I supposed to go and see the house we’re building that has five extra bedrooms, Harry? How do you expect me to look at the rooms we planned out for o-our kids, and one for . . for Phoebe’s nursery when she’s not coming anymore?”

“Becks,” the nickname leaves his lips like that one breath that’s knocked out of you when you fall. The wrinkles that are rarely there above his eyes return as his eyebrows fall deeply. “I didn’t . . I wasn’t thinking. I’m so sorry.”

“And so am I, but . . I just can’t do that right now, o-or talk about her. I’m sorry,” I say with haste to my words and in my actions. The sad sound from his lips follows me to the couch where I perch, pretending to watch the tv. He doesn’t join me and after a while of pretending, my eyes start to droop.

The image of Shrek and Fiona making animal balloons falls away until a sound wakes me. Time had passed because now Fiona stands in front of Lord Farquad and Shrek is nowhere to be seen.

“I’m going to run an errand. Is there um, anything you need, bug?” he murmurs, the jangling of keys adorning his words.

“No thanks.”

“Okay, I won’t be long- Becks?” he speaks up, clearing his throat at last. I call back a question and wait as he idles. “I really am sorry about earlier, I didn’t mean anything insensitively or to upset you. I’d never want to do that.”

“I know, Harry. It’s okay,” are the last words that pass between us before he bids me a goodbye. I welcome the lack of silence but curl into the couch more, pulling the blanket around me as the movie continues.

My head throbbed when I stood up, but it had been happening a lot lately. I knew it was because I hadn’t been eating much, and as I think about that, my feet lead me to the fridge.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt full after eating, and still wanting a cookie afterwards. Like I do now. Licking the crumbs from my fingers after the last bite, the wooden floor is cold against my bare feet. For a reason I don’t know, I soon am staring up the staircase, and in that direction. It pulls at me to climb the stairs, but something deep down throbs in denial.

Instead, my attention is stolen when my ringtone blares from the couch. I lose my phone half of the time these days and so calls went unanswered. Assuming it was Harry with a grocery question, I picked it up without looking at who it was.

“Hi, Boops.”

“Dad,” I almost sigh, but I was unsure as to why. Was it the bombardment of talking to my dad on the phone for the first time in almost a month? Most likely. Or was it the homesickness that grew in my gut at the sound of his voice. “Daddy.”

“Hi, honey. I was hoping you’d answer. I’ve missed your voice.”

Sinking onto the couch, my bottom lip quivers as I try to breathe in slowly, but my heart won’t listen. It hasn’t for a while now.

“I’ve missed yours, Daddy.”

“Oh, baby girl,” he says in an exhale. Already, I know that he hears what my voice is dipped in, but I don’t hide it. It was too late for that. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am.”

“I’m getting really sick of that word, but thanks, Dad.”

His classical chuckle begins its opening but it falters there, and so did any chance at mine. Silence had rarely been uncomfortable with my Dad. That was only when I’d gotten into trouble or when I was trying to tell him about something that had happened with my Mom, which usually went hand in hand. Over the years, I could hardly count the times silence had grown awkward between us, until it did now.

“What are you doing?” he decides to say, lifting my eyes to the tv screen where it appears Fiona and Farquaad will get their Happily Ever After. I knew without needing to think what would happen next. They wouldn’t, because it never really happens that way. No, it’s not that easy or immediate.

“Watching Shrek on the couch.”

“Is Harry there?” he murmurs a question.

“No, he went to do something not long ago. I don’t know what,” I answer, wrapping the tassels of the blanket around my finger until it hurts. “I think he’s mad at me. I can’t tell anymore, it seems like he always is.”

“I’m sure that’s not true, honey.”

Shaking my head for nobody to see, I taste blood when pressing my lips together to hold back the whimpering. Sniffling, I breathe in raggedly before speaking, “I think it is . . I can’t blame him, because I’ve been so horrible to him, Dad. H-He was supposed to be a Daddy and I’ve forgotten that he’s g-going through all of this too. I’ve been in my own little world being sad a-about the baby, and I forgot about him, Dad. I’m supposed to marry him soon, and I don’t even wear my ring anymore, and I can’t go upstairs, and-,” he doesn’t cut me off. I leave that honor for myself as I watch the color drain from my finger when I unwrap the tassel. I’d slowly come to hate the color red, even refusing to eat strawberries at first. It’d become the color I’d hated most after . . after that morning.

“I’m sure that he understands, Ree, or he’s at least trying to. I’ve spoken to him a few times now, and he’s not mad at you. He’s just frustrated and overwhelmed. Harry hates to see you unhappy, it’s always been that way with you too, and vice versa. He wants to fix everything, but I told him that’s not always possible. You can’t fix another person . . . and neither can you, Boops. You’re doing your best and so is he, and after a while-.”

“But I’m not, Dad. I’m hardly trying, only when I feel like it. I . . I don’t know how to do any of this and I don’t want to. I don’t want her to be gone. I was supposed to be a Mom. Her Mom,” I weep, pressing the handful of blanket against my eyes, catching my tears.

“I wish I could make it all better for you too, honey. Ever since you were little, I wanted to kiss the owies better and tell off the kids who were mean to you, but . . . you have to do it yourself and when you can, Becky. You can’t rush this. Grief, it doesn’t have a timetable or a road map- and, honey, you are a Mom. You’re Phoebe’s Mom. Nothing will ever change that,” somehow, I cry harder at his last words, melting into the couch.

“Thank you, Daddy,” I cry into the phone, wishing it was his shoulder, instead. It’s a few moments filled with the sound of my tears and his own sniffles, before I speak again. “But how do I . . how do I let Harry back in? I pushed him away without meaning to and now we’re so far apart, Dad.”

“I think that you need to remember that he’s grieving the loss of a child too. Your child together, Ree, and that he’s feeling the exact same feelings that you are. He’s devastated at not getting to be a father to Phoebe, to meet her, watch her grow up into a person, and do all of the things that you’re grieving the loss of too. You’re a team, honey, and you need to give each other some grace too. There aren’t any rules to this and maybe I shouldn’t talk because I’m divorced, but the first reason you’re there with each other is because you love each other. You have to remember that too, honey. Hey, I’m sorry, I think I’m burning my dinner in the oven. Can I call you back later, sweetie?”

“Yeah, Dad. Of course. Um, thank you. That really helped me,” I reply, swiping at my tears with the dry side of the blanket.

“I’m glad to hear it. I love you, Boops.”

“I love you too, Daddy,” and he’s gone. All I hear is the silence of the dead call and Shrek’s voice on the tv as he yells at Lord Farquaad. It’s what fills my ears and distracts my mind when I lay my head on the pillow, resting my hand on my belly without thinking. But unlike every other time I’d found myself doing it since . . since I was actually holding my baby, I let it stay there, wildly wishing she could be here watching Shrek with me.

I heard him come in when the credits of the movie are switching to the opening of its sequel. It was arguably the best, in my opinion, but it was something Harry and I had always disagreed upon. The memory sparks an invitation for him on my tongue, but upon raising my head, I watch him disappear down the hallway.

My ears aren’t sure what to focus on, the sound of his parting footsteps, the racing of my heart, or guitar strings soon being plucked from down the hall. It wasn’t much of a choice, because my feet were already leading me towards his study. A place where he had been spending a lot of time recently. I find myself gravitating towards the sound and wanting to hear more, but I stop outside the door nervously. My heart pulls me forward, despite the way it gallops, making me feel sick to my stomach. Standing there, I wonder why this is something I’m nervous about, but nothing is the same anymore. I hadn’t felt this way for what had it been now, years? There hadn’t been a time since the beginning that I was nervous to talk to Harry, and yet, here I stood doing just that.

His playing stopped and I perked up, making out the scribbling of pen on paper. Was he writing a song, I wondered quietly and wished I could ask. I didn’t know how to, and that was something I’d thought too many times lately. How to get out of bed. To eat a whole plate of food. Talk to my family and friends. I hardly even knew how to talk to Harry anymore. That’s what was holding me back, wasn’t it? Sure, if you wanted to sum it up.

“I know you’re standing outside the door . . Did you need something?” Harry murmurs, an edge to his voice. It was one that had appeared out of the blue and refused to leave. I only knew because I’d felt my voice change like that too.

There’s the creaking of the floor before I press the ajar door open enough for me to fit through. I find him sitting back down on his office chair, but he faces away from me, a guitar propped on his lap.

“How’d you know?” I ask softly, still awkwardly standing in the doorway. His eyes flit to mine and I’m unsure of why I look away, except that I can’t face him. No, not when mine are still wet and I’m sure they aren't going to dry up anytime soon. Not after what I’m about to say.

“You forget how long I’ve known you,” he mumbles, peering down at the moleskin journal he scribbles in. “Four years, give or take. You learn their cues and the sounds they make when you come to know somebody for that long. That’s how I heard you at the door, it was your footsteps.”

“Oh,” I respond flatly, feeling dumb. His tone doesn’t imply it and nor do his words, but the embarrassment has run rampant already.

Watching him write and escape to his own little world had always been one of my favorite things to observe. Even his handwriting was something that brought me . . comfort. I blamed it on the familiarity, but as it pours from his pen, it makes my heart slow down a few ticks.

“My Dad called and we talked for a little bit.”

Harry hums a reply, crossing something out on the piece of paper. Scratching his head, he sighs whilst staring at the writing. I can’t make it out from here, but once again, the silence finds its old spot. Remembering his initial question when he heard me at the door, I worry that I’m bothering him. Gulping past the nervousness and doubt, I pedal forward.

“Was that yours?” I ask warily, noting his head rising so he can meet my eyes for a split second. They hold a question in them, perhaps dozens. “The song. It . . It was really pretty.”

“Yeah . . It’s just something I’ve been playing around with,” his answer comes out in a pillowy tone. It has changed ever since . . since I’d run away from him, and I hear it now as he speaks his reply.

“I really . . really like it,” I comment, looking towards the ceiling when his grandfather’s Gibson acoustic grows hazy in my eyes.

“Thank . . you. Hey, what is it? Did your dad say something that upset you?” it had been so long since I’d heard that steely edge absent from his voice. I don’t know why I mourned it, because it was my fault it had ever arrived in the first place. Wasn’t it? “Becks.”

“Yeah, he said a lot of things th-that made sense, actually,” I confess, dropping my head to stare at my fingers that I wring. I’m unable to ignore the feeling of my lips trembling against each other, despite busying myself with adjusting my rings. They stop when I arrive at the one that speaks volumes, and how deeply I’d ignored it.

Braving the storm, I finally look at him. His greens are patient and soft, something neither of our eyes have been for the other for awhile now. Without breaking eye contact, he settles his guitar onto its stand and discards the pad of paper.

“Harry, c-can I have a hug?” slowly, the overdue question comes.

“Of course,” he responds, a corner of his mouth quirking up. Already, he’s holding his arms out towards me. “You’ve never needed to ask, buggie.”

“Thank you,” I murmur, feeling the air whoosh out of me when my body touches his. Somehow, my chest shakes harder with a new sob. It only worsens when his hands come under my thighs, lifting me up to sit on his lap.

“It’s been so long since we’ve hugged,” I know he doesn’t mean to, but it feels like a chasm through my chest when he says that. The guilt that had arrived at my dad’s words increases by tenfold.

“I’m sorry,” it’s but a whisper against his neck, my favorite place for hide and seek. But it was always him seeking me, it had been for months now, and I hadn’t let him win. Not once.

“What?”

“I’m so sorry for everything, Harry,” I repeat, pulling back to find his greens swarmed by tears. Swiping my thumb under them, I catch the way that they leak with sadness. “For how horribly I’ve treated you this last month, and how . . how I forgot that you- you lost our baby too.”

“Oh, honey. You don’t have to-,” he begins, adamant in his apology. One that I won’t accept.

“No, but I do have to apologize,” I sob, surprised at the way I’m shocked by the rough feeling of his cheeks. It had been so long since I’d touched him like this, despite watching him grow his beard out. “My dad, he . . he put it into perspective for me. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, I hate myself for that, for-.”

“Hey, don’t hate yourself for anything. This last month has been a Hell we never thought we’d have to endure. Something we shouldn’t have to deal with, and one that isn’t our fault,” he insists, thumbing at the place where a dimple would usually fall in my left cheek. I’d forgotten it was there, just like I’d done the same to him.

“But all you’ve been doing is trying to take care of me, and I made that so hard for you,” comes my cry against his palm, feeling the way he holds me together from breaking for the thousandth time. No, that would imply I’d have been put back together, but that wasn’t something I’d done. “You tried to make me eat and I fought you on it until you stopped talking about it. I argued with you and ignored you when you were just trying to keep the world going, but you never stopped, even though I did. You didn’t stop living and loving me when I stopped.”

“Becks, it’s okay,” he repeats, the words sliding into my ears as my hand wanders to his neck. A hoodie with cartoons from our childhoods dons his upper half, tattoos peeking out from the color. I found the charm of his necklace instantaneously, something I could do in the dark.

“But it’s not, Harry. It’s not okay how I treated you. I forgot you and that you’ve been mourning the loss of your child too. Our b-baby,” I whimper, sniffling when I inhale uneasily. My fingers shake before me until he takes hold of my hand, surrounding it with his own before pressing it to his lips. “I’m so sorry.”

“I forgive you, Becks. I always will,” Harry says, tucking his chin over my head when I melt against him. “I meant it that first night after we came home and you disappeared on me . . We lost our baby, our child, and I can’t . . I can’t lose you too, Rebecca. I have, time and time again, and I can’t do it again. I’ve hardly stayed pieced together lately being so far away from each other like we have . . God, the only thing that kept me going was just thinking, ‘one more day’ for so many days.”

Hiccuping, my hands brace themselves against his taut back, feeling his own drift along my spine. Shaking my head against the crook of his neck, I struggle to breathe, let alone speak, “I’m so sorry, Harry. I can’t believe how awful I was to you. We’re supposed to get married soon, and I can’t even live up to that in sickness and health part of the vows.”

He continued to murmur assurances that everything was okay, and for the first time in a long while, I found myself believing him. Crying against his neck, I heard his own shed tears onto mine as my hands rubbed circles into his shoulders.

“I’m sorry I got mad at you that day for going to work, even though you asked me and I said it was okay . . And-.”

“Shhh, it’s okay. You don’t have to do that, Becks,” he assures me, pressing a kiss to my head. Again, I believe him, and it feels easier to breathe. Just in the slightest.

“I was such a bitch to you.”

Something sparks inside of my chest at the sound I hear next, one that had been lost along the way. His laugh. His song.

“I’ve been known to be quite the dick on one or two occasions, as well,” I savor the glint that appears in his eyes upon pulling away. It had been one of the first times I was able to lift my head since before all of this had happened, because it had been better just to hide. No, not now.

The quirk to his lips is a full on tilt now, and through them, I’m reminded of what drew me to this man in the first place. It was those eyes and that smile that made me melt upon impact. Well, then there’s the sunshine they share, and how I taste it when his lips meet mine for really the first time in what, a month. Emotion pulls at me from somewhere underneath at the thought, but he makes me forget rather quickly. He’s always been good at that.

His peppermint chapstick sticks to my lips after he’s pulled away several seconds later, trying to catch his breath. The cobwebs have been dusted away in more ways than one, and it feels weird at first, wrong almost, but I laugh. It catches him by surprise too and his eyes focus on me, and only grow brighter.

“I’ve missed kissing you, and laughing with you,” Harry grins, pressing one more to my lips before brushing his nose against mine.

“So have I. I’m s-.”

“I swear, if you say that word one more time,” he tuts, shaking his head with his bottom lip caught between his teeth.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I’ll have to figure out something,” he says, sighing for the dramatic effect. I giggle along with him a moment later, remembering the flecks of gold hidden in his eyes. I remember a lot, too much almost, and the gold is gone as my eyes flood once more. “I know it’s hard, Becks. Something has never been this difficult for me . . for you either. But we have to talk, and I’ve been aching for ages now to talk to you . . I don’t want to ignore it, because they shouldn’t be forgotten. Our daughter. We need to talk about them, about her,” I’m nodding before he can finish, feeling his warm lips against my forehead as I focus on my breaths. “In and out, bug. In and out. We can do this. We’ll start slow.”

I haven’t stopped nodding, but once my lungs start to work again, I pull away and find his eyes once more. It comes to me and I can’t hold it back in anymore, knowing I need to say it first. To tell him.

“Okay, let’s talk about o-our daughter,” I begin, cringing at the sound of my voice breaking already. He nods, cupping my face in his palm, the sweetest of looks on his face.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles alternate universe #one direction fanfiction #one direction #fanfic #wattpad #harry styles wattpad #writing #vanchlo writes #heck yes #becky x harry #tempestad #elmundodebecks

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sinkingwmyships · 4 years

Text

hEY BABY

im back at it again with

JJBA (VA) Purge AU (3)

yeeee this is the one abt the relationship scenarios ;)))

part 1 | part 2

i highly recommend checking out the previous parts first, if not this might be kinda hard to follow

between me and my 1.5 braincells we're trying really hard y'all so pls go easy on us show some support ;_;

OKAY

(oh yea a heads-up no ships are decided yet so treat all these relationship scenarios as hcs (yea imma make AUs inside an AU lmfao))

tw: (1 mention of) homophobia, referenced past abuse, bullying (??)

1. fugio

the first scenario that popped into my head is that Fugo and Giorno go to the same university (for some reason Gio's parents can afford to send him there, idk he probably got financial aid or sth, and then after he killed them (😳 awkwardddd) he's probably using their life insurance in fear of it running out). and Fugo doesn't really care for Gio bc he's a rich boye and he has his quality™️ elite friend circle so why bother himself w a nobody. but in reality all of Fugo's friends are either only on a social level (u know those ppl who you're friends w but u won't necessarily have deep convos w them or choose to hang out w them n stuff), or they're fake and only hang out w him bc of his wealth & status, or bc their rich parents are friends. plus (im referring to the anime backstory here), after the scandal w that professor who sexually harassed him, many ppl secretly hate him and talk shit abt him behind his back due to homophobia.

but anyway, Fugo's plotting against all those biches :) so where does Giorno come in? Gio, being this innocent poor boy who doesn't have a home to go back to, lives on dorm. and let's just say Fugo does too bc he doesn't have the best relationship w his demanding parents, so he was overjoyed when he finally talked them into letting him move from home into the dorms instead. (side note he prolly doesn't Purge his parents bc he needs their money.) so Gio and Fugo know of each other, but not acquaintances or anything.

and then

one day when Fugo's either

running into trouble with some authority figure at school again

just minding his own business and planning his Purge targets

Gio walks in on him, and he's either like

"omg Fugo r u ok do u need help what happened"

"omg Fugo idk what happened between u and ur targets but Purging ain't good, pls reconsider"

and Fugo, having the short-ass fuse that he does (plus probably having his pride wounded and just general mistrust of the ppl around him spurring him on):

"stfu u know nothing about me, but now you've seen this i guess it wouldn't hurt to kill you too"

"stfu u know nothing about me, ur probably one of those happy asshats that have no need for Purges, reconsider?? haha the only thing i'll reconsider is if i'll add u to my kill list" (bc if Gio reports him or sth, Fugo & his fam can get into trouble, since his targets are probably rich and/or influential ppl, but it isn't Purge time yet, so it can be considered malicious intent and/or attempted murder i guess, and so anyone who has any beef w the Fugo fam can bring them down) (i know nothing abt law don't come for me)

and then Gio is like "fuck dis shit im out" and he skrts tf out of there, but sadly Fugo ain't lying 😔 the day of the Purge comes, and Giorno was just trying to barricade himself inside his dorm room when suddenly, Fugo pulls an FBI OPEN UP and breaks inside using all his high-tech weaponry n stuff (i'll share my hcs for chara design later!!). Gio is freaking out so he jumps out the window into the streets, even risking going outside during Purge just so he can get away, but oh 🅱️oy is Fugo stressed tonight. and he literally hunts Gio down and almost kills him

uNTIL!!!¡!

2. abbacchio & giorno:

(SORRY I JUST LOVE DADBACCHIO & GIORSON SO MUCH)

Abbacchio is tasked w hunting down a certain rogue criminal, so he's la-di-da cruising thru Naples to get to Bucci's house, when suddenly this fucking kid comes running up to him with his hair and clothes all messed up and tears running down his face, and is like "pls help me sir i beg u i just need somewhere to hide pls i don't want to do this i don't want to die" and Abba's like "fuq??" but then he hears manic laughter and chainsaws revving and shit, and the kid sniveling all over his crisp™️ Purge suit looks like he can explode with fear at any moment (and plus Abba understands that nobody would ever run up to another person for help during Purge like this, unless it's really their last option), so he sighs, "fine. get behind me."

the kid drops to his knees and Abba can't help but think "aaahhhh fucking dead weight", but he said he'd help, so that's what he's gonna do. now ANOTHER kid rounds the corner but he barely looks sane, he seems almost possessed by something. *fighting ensues* but being a professional cop Abba knocks the kid out cold w a few swift moves, and when he drops to the ground that crazy expression finally leaves his face. he's already wasted too much time, so Abba turns to Kid 1 and is like "go back home brat and dont get into trouble again", but Kid 1 is still a trembling mess on the ground, and he says "i don't have any home to go back to."

subconscious Abba's like "well that's between you and god" but he knows he's basically this kid's god now (besides, there can't possibly be a god that would let things like Purges happen), so he's like, "fine. get in the car and DON'T get in my way" but THEN Kid 1 points to the passed-out demon child, "but we can't leave him here"

A: "he was gonna KILL you!!"

K1: "i know but he didn't mean it, he was just not thinking straight"

A: "Purges ain't where ppl think str8 kid, besides if he didn't really wanna Purge he wouldn't have geared himself up that well"

K1: “but he’s not a bad person. please, if we leave him out here in this state he’ll be killed for sure.”

at this point Abbacchio can't understand wtf Kid 1 is thinking, but for the first time in years he finds some of the humanity he was hoping to regain in Purge, so he's like "fine. haul him into the backseat. but you're sitting with him bc i got my shit in the front. and if he wakes up you're dealing w it this time. cool?"

Kid 1 nods, and surprisingly he has enough strength to shove Kid 2 into the backseat & get in after him. Abba is trying to decide what he wanna do w these kids, when his phone suddenly beeps, and in comes a new message from his superiors, "yo dawg u gotta hurry up and kill that Bucciarati guy, we'd better not catch u slacking" and he's like "yo Kid 1, can u fight?"

"uh, a bit. why?"

"well, that's what you're gonna do for me in return for my protection."

anywhooooo i imagine that later on, Fugo wakes up like "ugh wtf hello concussions????" and he sees Gio standing over him, and he snaps into defensive mode, sitting up and shoving Gio away and everything. but then he sees that Gio's hands are empty, save for maybe a bottle of water and a towel, and somehow Fugo's own wounds are all cleaned and bandaged, and he groans:

"dude, what the fuck are you doing? did i pass out? did you find help?"

G: "you got hit over the head pretty hard, don't move so suddenly."

F: "haha yea thanks i can feel that myself, anyway wtf were you doing?"

G: "uhhhhh... abbacchio patched you up but your face was really grimy so he told me to clean you up, and maybe give you some water?"

F: "no. i mean like what the fuck were you doing????? braincells hello?? kill me! i should be dead!!! is Purge over?? did the sirens go off before you can finish me?"

he suddenly notices how Gio just recoils and sits there with his eyes squeezed shut as Fugo shouts at him and flings his arms around. but he's seen how Gio defended himself against him, so he knows this guy can fight and is no stranger to Purges. this is the first mystery his 152 IQ has encountered in a long time, so Fugo reaches out to get Gio's attention, but then Gio jumps and slaps his hand away so hard Fugo feels his bruised brain jar. he pulls back immediately, holding his hands up, palms forward, finally kind of able to pierce together what's going on inside the blond's mind:

"sorry. wasn't gonna attack you. just... wasn't sure if you were listening to me, so i tried to get your attention."

"i was."

"okay. sorry." Fugo tries, but Gio is already standing up and leaving, glassy green eyes looking anywhere but at him. "wait! Gior— ugh??"

he almost faceplants the ground again. where's my stupid-ass helmet???? i need to be on balance mode stat. but then Fugo feels two arms helping him up, and he looks up to see Gio, frowning in distaste but still supporting him all the same. he feels bad for asking (as if he hasn't bothered this poor guy enough): "uh, so, what exactly happened while i was passed out?"

oh, honey...

a lot :)

BUT PLOT SPOILERS SO THIS ENDS HERE!!!!!! xD

ya know i might actually go w fugio after all :00 but if i do end up writing this, it will span over 12 hours / 1 Purge only, so even if there are ships they'll probably only be implied, instead of madly into each other by the end of everything :P

to be cont’d… 👀🔪 perhaps with other relationship hcs :0 or chara design?? who knows. suggestions?

feel free to drop any questions you have, or just scream to me in the cmts in general!! i’m happy to answer anything, from chara motives to backstory clarification, or anything else!! ik up to now these posts have just been walls of texts, so :’D thanks for reading thooooo 💖

part 4 | part 5

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