#cant be offline anymore in this day and age !

[gay-yosuke]

the constant and immutable presence of the phone in modern day life is going to be our downfall. im not saying that because people are too online or anything but the fact that you NEED to have a modern phone with an app to get fucking COUPONS at a store is going to drive not only my near-technologically-illiterate father to madness, but me too.

[rivaiin]

i understand that not everyone likes/is able to play older games and with long running series its a bit unreasonable to expect new fans to play several decades old games. specially considering how some can be very hard to come by and not everyone knows how to set up emulators or enjoys watching playthroughs. but this new current of soft rebooting whole series of games and just saying 'yeah you can start with the newest one the older games dont really matter' is not as good as a solution as devs seem to think it is

[x-useobwa-x]

༄ are you mad? | 너 화났어?

Jungkook x Reader

➺ Word count: + 1k

╰Due to his PC being broken, Jungkook finds himself visiting the internet cafe daily for hours to play Overwatch. He's an outstanding player, by far better than many of his teammates and he carries his games, but there's one player he always encounters over and over again.

a/n: yooo! I've been itching to write this short thing for a while already! It's nothing special or anything, but I really enjoyed it! It was a nice change from my usual stuff! 🤧👌🏼

Start reading!

⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣ ⇣

Jesus fucking christ.

„Fuck!“ he curses under his breath.

This is the seventh time he got sniped down out of the blue and everytime he peeks at the kill-feed, he's burning with rage.

It's the same name. All over again, he's getting killed by the same goddamn player. This has been going on since the day his PC broke.

How it broke in the first place? Well, in his opinion it was because of said player. Even while he was playing at home, he already got hunted down by that one person behind the screen somewhere in the world, making him question all the talent he actually has. At some point he got so angry that he lost his control and kept kicking his computer, loaded with rage.

This is now two weeks ago, and he can't get over the fact that this guy is better than him. Usually he would look up to these better than him, but with this goddamn little shit he just can't get any clear thoughts.

He's so fixated on finding the enemies' Widowmaker that he got too careless and- shoot.

„What the FUCK,“ he yells into his headset, having the majority of the internet cafe turning around and giving him looks.

This damn guy.

Venom. Once again, it was Venom that shot him down.

‚I'm so sick and tired of this dude. Jesus fucking christ.‘

Jungkook is far beyond reaching his limit. This has to be settled, once and for good. He's furiously typing something down in the game-chat.

[Seagull: yo venom, after this game, let's go 1vs1 and lets put an end to this. Its been weeks and you can't seem to fucking stop.]

[Venom: lol what you so triggered for. its just a game bro.]

‚It's just a game? Jesus christ. This... this dude really is something.‘

[Seagull: are you scared?]

[Venom: nope. just not serious about this game. but if you insist, lol sure.]

Jungkook is evily grinning to himself.

This will be the last time he'll get his ass whooped by Venom. That dude might be good with 5 other players on his team that distract Jungkook, but on a 1vs1 battle he definitely will have the upper hand.

„Kook are you sure you want to do that?“ Seokjin calls out to him through the voice chat.

„Yeah I am. I am so sick of getting my ass beaten by that kid, I have to.“

„Well, good luck, because the game's ending now.“

Jungkook doesn't fucking care. He just wants to settle this. He has to show off that he's better, he has to-

‚What the actual fuck?‘

Now he's really pissed. As soon as the game finishes and the ‚Play of the game‘ comes up, he has to fight the urge to throw away the keyboard.

The recap shows one of the many times Venom has shot him down, and it wasn't even a good one in Jungkooks opinion.

[Seagull: wow kinda sad that you got the POTG with that.]

[Venom: you butthurt or smth?]

„B-butthurt??“ he scoffs. „This little...“

„Well. See you, Kook. Good luck with Venom.“ Seokjin says and leaves the group.

He's waiting. He's waiting for Venom to invite him into a private game so he can restore his pride. He is butthurt, but that doesn't mean that he has to admit that to everyone.

[GROUP INVITATION FROM VENOM]

,Finally. Took him long enough.‘ is all he thinks as he clicks ,accept‘.

[Venom: widowmaker 1vs1?]

[Seagull: yes ofc]

[Venom: lol aight]

As both of them enter the game, Jungkooks fingers are itching to turn this around.

‚5...4...3...2...1...go!‘ the game counts down and both of them rush out of their bases to hide.

Jungkook is concentrating with all he has while he zooms into his scope as he tries to track down Venom.

„There you are,“ he whispers as he finds the hated enemy and slowly moves his cursor to steady his aim on Venoms head.

‚Gotcha!‘

Jungkook immediately takes the lead. He's feeling so content right now- they're roughly 20 seconds in and he already shot him down. Using the time until Venom respawns, he repositions himself and hides, scope fixated in the direction of the enemy's base.

‚Come out, come on, show yourself.‘

Just as he finished his thought, he gets shot, and Jungkook can‘t help but stare in disbelief. Where the fuck did he hide? Why didn't he see him? He hates to admit it, but that was a very good play.

[Seagull: yo wtf. that was actually sick,,,]

[Venom: thx broski]

[Seagull: nah we aint bros man. but still, that was dope as fuck.]

The game keeps going like this; both are pretty much equally good, and Jungkook hates that he realizes that. Well, at least he isn't worse. But what actually is worse, is that he starts enjoying playing with Venom. It has been ages that Jungkook met someone that could keep up with his skill.

It stands 29-29 right now, the game limit being 30 kills. This is now going to decide things.

[Venom: this is actually pretty fun. i mean, i have my cursor on your head for the past 2 minutes but i don't want to shoot, i'on want this to be over yet]

[Seagull: ikr, tbh i even feel bad for all the hate and the tons of reports i sent in because of you lmao]

[Venom: EXCUSE ME WHAT CNXND YOU REPORTED ME??? YOU ASSHAT I GOT EXP PENALTY BECAUSE OF YOU I—]

[Seagull: ,,,sOrry??? idk man you really pissed me off ajfksk i hated that you were better its not even that you were better its just that you were always so cOckY OOF i hated it but ur actually?? pretty fun??]

[Venom: lol i'm sorry but your reactions always were gold kfkdls]

[Seagull: yea i,,, i can see that LOL i got pretty worked up. I even crushed my computer in anger oops]

[Venom: you did wHat]

[Seagull: HFKDKDL LET ME BE]

Jungkook is smiling to himself. This guy isn't all too bad after all. Not even half as cocky as he thought. Maybe he'd even end up teaming up with him some time. That thought is immediately cancelled again, though.

Suddenly, his character falls, shot down by the person he just praised for not being as bad as he initially thought. Fuck that.

[Seagull: WHAT THE FUCK BRUH??]

[Venom: lol i thought i'm not your bro]

[Seagull: yEah NOT ANYMORE NOW,,,]

[Venom: are you mad?]

[Seagull: uhh y e s ?? I thought we didn't want to finish this fkdkls]

[Venom: IM SORRY BUT YOUR REACTIONS REALLY JUST ARE SO GOOD I CANT HELP IT-]

Jungkook sighs. He wants to be pissed, but he can't really. He knows it was just meant as a joke, but still, that means the game is over now, and he's kind of feeling sad.

[Seagull: yo... you maybe wanna stay in the group and keep talking a bit? y'know, just being on the title screen and ,,, t a l k]

[Venom: u mean voice chat?]

[Seagull: yea i mean if you want to,,,]

[Venom: uhh sure why not]

Jungkook enables the voice chat and waits for Venom to do the same.

As soon as he gets the notification that his new mate joined the voice chat, there's some sort of awkward silence; it seems like neither of them wants to go first, but then they happen to start talking at the same time.

„Uhh hello?“

„Uhm, hi?“

Silence. Jungkooks eyes widen an unreal amount and his mouth slightly falls open.

There are two things that he would like to point out. First, the voice belongs to a girl, which he didn't expect at all. But the second thing is, that the voice came from nowhere else than the booth right next to him.

He jumps out of his chair and watches as you do the exact same- and there you both are, looking at each other like two idiots.

„You- you're Venom??“

„You are Seagull? Dude we've been both coming here everyday sitting in the same damn places??“

„As if I didn't figure that yet. What the- so you are the person that keeps hunting me down?“ he says as if he's just figured out all the mysteries of the world.

„What do you mean ‚hunting you down‘? YOU are hunting me down!“

The both of you stare at each other, pouts on your faces before you burst into laughter.

What the actual fuck is happening right now? An hour ago he wished to rip the gamer that goes by the name Venom into pieces, and now he's standing infront of you and your smile and the melody of your laughter is sending his stomach tingling. Is this what people call ‚love at the first sight‘? Because if so, that's definitely what's happening right now. A girl? Not to mention a very beautiful one? Playing his favorite game almost better than he himself does? And on top of that she's funny and seems nice so far? He'd be damned if he'd let this opportunity slide. He could be living the dream of many, many men and he's not one to pass a chance he'd like to take.

„You know, what do you think about us just logging out for now and grab a coffee together? Getting to know each other and continuing our talk offline?“ he smirks, eyes big and full of hope.

„Hmm, I guess that does sound fair, I mean, I owe you one for all the teasing and for your broken computer, huh?“

„You totally do,“ he says as a wide smile starts spreading across his lips.

[whosxafraid]

holy christmas dudes....has it really been two years already? i mean i feel like it was yesterday i hesitantly made this blog without any real hope anyone would want to interact with this over sized old man but needing to make the blog anyway because the fecker wouldn’t be quiet---but here we are...and just damn.

Ｇｉｖｅａｗａｙ Ｇｕｉｄｅｌｉｎｅｓ：

Give away begins: now - 03/25/19 Give away ends : 6:00pm EST - 03/29/19

1. One like/re-blog per blog.

 I get really turned around and easily confused so please make this  easier on me and only either re-blog the post or like the post.   But only do either one once.          

2. Must be following Luka and be an RP blog in order to participate.

Please don’t just follow to participate in the giveaway, okay? I can’t control you following and then un-following but its super   rude and just karma’s a bitch okay?

3. I need a week or so to get the prizes out after the giveaway ends.

 Bare with me. I keep my promises it just takes me time.

4. Winners will be chosen using the random number generator. Keeps everything nice and fair :)

5. If you are a multi-muse and win, please be prepared to chose one of your muses for icons made.

6. If you win and your muse’s fc is not well known or has little screen time, please be prepared to help me out if I can’t find suitable resources on my own for graphics/icons/etc.

7. If you win and you have a favorite picture or resource(aka movie/episode/etc) in which your muse’s fc is portrayed please feel free to let me know!

8. If you win please be prepared to provide a primary color and/or scheme you would like the graphics/icons to have.

ＰＲＩＺＥＳ:

1st Place: 1 promo graphic, 1 set of Online/Offline/Lurking/Drafts banners, 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s).

2nd Place: 1 promo graphic and 25 [200x100] icons, psd and watermarked with your chosen letter(s). .

3rd Place: 1 promo graphic

                                                    ƓƠƠƊ ԼƲƇƘ!

follow forever beneath the cut

@brooklynislandgirl / @tarnishedhalo / @quothesquills

yes hi i love you always? lol thank you for being my partner is so many fictional crimes. for being a like minded cray like me but also constantly teaching me and bettering me as a person literally every day. i love how we can finish each other sentences sometimes, and are so alike and then completely different so we end up seeing more angles to things. you can put me in tears one second and then rip my soul out the next. i like u, ur a good. so ur kinda stuck with me. stay you cuz otherwise im gonna be feckin lost. 

@morgansmornings

also yes hello is this thing on? I LOVE YOU. yer a fecking gem of a human being and while u may not need me too i will go to war with my bat swinging for u always. you make me laugh when i wanna cry and always are an ear when i need to vent. i love ur imagination and ur brain and i can not gush enough about how amazing ur muse is. its takes someone extraordinary to make someone extraordinary. and your muse is extraordinary. remember that if nothing else. besties always cuz im keeping u sorry not sorry.

@seanceisms / @umbrellakidstm / @wolventm / @scciopath

fucking beautiful human being you are okay. i love you always and i will follow you across any blog you ever make. and that sounded way less stalkerish in my head but whatever you get it. u can’t escape me LOL. always an ear and always a joy to talk to even when we’re doing nothing but trading pictures or headcanons or screaming about stupidity we find or murdering each other with feels. 

@riggsanity

my dude ur a fecking treasure. ur humor is sharp and i love that. your amazing at your hobby and i love every reply i get from you. i love that we can have conversations that stretch over hours because we both get distracted or get busy but we always know where we’re at.  ur fantastic and im blessed to have met you.

@mynameisanakin

there are too many inside jokes and not enough time to list them all. this is a friendship that i fucking love and never wanna lose. ur unique and ur a fecking trip and i LOVE that about you. the sometimes brutal honesty is refreshing to say the least, and i can not word how much i love our thread and our future plots. stay golden like the sand in our Jamaican no fig capes. ;)

@the-blackest-spider

holy balls dude like how long have we known each other at this point? i cant even remember. all i know is i love u and i know we dont talk as much as we used too but i love that we can pick up right where we left off when we do and there’s not a beat missed. ur brilliant and will always ALWAYS be ‘my natasha’. 

@tabbyrp and  @corinnebaileyrp

you two are gifts okay. always have something kind to say to me. always checking on me when my ooc posts get a little weird and sideways. (more than usual anyway). i love both of you and i love our plots and threads. every single one. -throws cookies at both with exuberance- 

@thor-theavengergod

one of my closest dudes.i miss ur thor so much. but im glad we can stay connected on discord. ur artwork is GLORIOUS and always a joy to see pop up on my dash. you’re always an ear and never afraid to say what you think. and that’s really rare in this day and age. Keep being amazing my dude. u shine and it shows!

@bettershotthanbucky | @edithbarton / @hitslikeatruck / @mutatiiions

okay but like world of an au and plot we built i love it. you dudes are fucking beautiful and will always be my bartons(and wolverine/Piotr/and the rest). always. we dont always talk or are in each others day to day but when we do it’s always a riot. you guys are my dudes, dudes. never ever ever ever forget that. i’ll always be here for u dudes. whenever u need me and i know u’ll be the same for me cuz that’s just how ride or die dudes roll. -all the hugs-

@daggermxchanic

man let me talk about how fucking great it is to get to write luka with someone close to where he’s from even if it’s not the same time frame. Its amazing. I love your muse and i love the oppertunities he gives me to explore other facets of luka. Two grumpy old men never gets old and i LOVE ALL OF IT. ur a fucking amazing and don’t let no body tell u different my dude. ur classic.

@deathisachoice

okay we interact more on my pirate blog but fuck it i do what i want. im so glad u were able to finish ur thesis. im glad its behind u and that weight has been lifted. im super excited to get to talk to u more again and make awesome plots for our pirates (and maybe here too). either way ur writing is amazing and so are u. always a joy to talk to and write with!!

@ruthlessmeans / @mockeryofreason

okay but i love u alot. and i wish i could bat away all the bad that’s been happening as of late. just teach it a lesson so it fucks off permanently. but as i cant all i can do is offer cookies and remind u ur loved. i admire the decidcation that u have to ur muses. i love how u think through every angle and facet of them. that speaks volumes about u as a person. keep ur chin up my dude. ur silver lining is coming.

@canadianclaws

not so much rp’ing anymore but we stay in touch over discord and u literally NEVER fail to make me laugh even when i don’t want too or i’m feeling like something four days dead. i absolutely adore u and our friendship and i love that we can just drop funny fucking shit in our chat at random hours on any given day and its no big ya know? JUST LOVE U A LOT -tackle squishes-

@cochetsharpshooter

one of my best dudes and a fucking peach too boot. always uplifting and always the best gifs. years of jokes lbr and no enough angst and time in the day to write it all every probably. u are my bucky, always and forever. never lose ur wonder and ur drive my dude. ur inspiring. truly.

@ronmanmob

a gift with words right here. dedication to your muse on a level i’ve never seen. its phenomenal. always good vibes to talk to, always up beat. its honestly wonderful that we’re mutuals. always love reading your rps and ur blog is general is epic. keep it up. ur a gem.

@noprodigalson

life has gotten busy for u. taken u in different directions and that’s just something that happens. that’s life. but getting to see u pop up on my dash now and then. little updates and fashion drops it warms me up. ur style sense is amazing and so is ur hair. (yes i still want those pants). ur a beautiful human and hopefully life will let u get back to ur hobby here real soon. all my love my dude!

To all my of my followers: 

you all brilliant lights in the world, in your own ways. Never, ever, EVER forget that. you are amazing. you are all special. to me and the other people in your lives that mean the most. stay frosty. and KEEP WRITING. ALWAYS KEEP WRITING. NO MATTER WHAT. NO MATTER THE TRIALS. KEEP WRITING!!  because remember there was a time when the world thought Van Gogh wasn’t worth anything at all and now he’s a house hold name even little kids know who he is. 

BE BRAVE

BE CREATIVE

BE YOU NO MATTER WHAT

-Crow

[chungha-supremacist]

No borders - Chapter 2

word count: 5003

SUMMARY:

“It’s just us 5 right?”

“Forever.”

“No men allowed… ever. Let’s promise to eachother that we will never let any man come in between us!”

“Never!”

Naive promises told at a young age, just between 5 best friends. They promised their world to eachother, “best friends ‘till death breaks us apart”. 10 Years passed. The same 5 girls, but no longer blinded by those “stupid promises”. It will be broken. The promise of a lifetime. The lust of love is what makes us all see unclear. We lose our friends, or soulmates, we fall for the unknown, we fall for lies and for the feeling of being important to someone who will drag us far away from who truly matters.

“Forget about the world… forget about them… right now, it’s only me and you. They don’t need to know that I love you.”

CATEGORY: F/F; F/M

Fandom: RED VELVET (Band), NCT (Band)

Relationships: Park Sooyoung / Kim Yerim; Bae Joohyun / Kang Seulgi; Son Seungwan / Nakamoto Yuta

Characters: Park Sooyoung; Kim Yerim, Bae Joohyun, Kang Seulgi, Son Seungwan, Seo Youngho, Jung Jaehyun, Nakamoto Yuta, Dong Si Cheng, Wong Yuk Hei, Lee Taeyong, Chung Ha

Additional Tags: friendship,angst, mistrust, lies, cheating, lesbian interactions, smut, fluff, fashion, models, rich life, etc

RATED: SMUT, FLUFF, ANGST.

CHAPTER 2

Sooyoung found herself in the most awkward encounter with her alleged “boss” at the dinner, in a pub where all you could see were horny couples grinding on eachother on the dance floor and drunk dudes whistleing and winking at her. She felt out of context, especially because all Yuk Hei was doing was drool over every chick who would pass his sight.

“Could you be any more obvious…” sighs Sooyoung.

“Jealous?” says Yuk Hei now smirking at her.

“You’re drunk. Maybe it’s better if I will drive your car to your home, so that I make sure WE get there safe and I can take the subway to my home-“

“I’m not drunk, Sooyoung. I just wanna have some fun tonight, whether if it’s gona be with you or with some random chi-“

Sooyoung was so full of it that her punch met the table in the loundest way possible which made Yuk Hei forget his words.

“Hey.. I was joking, ok..”

“I am not joking here, Yuk Hei. If you just wanted me to come here for you to get me drunk and get laid with me, you should’ve said so. Goddamnit, boys are all the same!” screams Sooyoung, now being angrier than ever before, while grabbing her purse and running out of the pub.

She felt like tearing up. She can’t stand this feeling anymore. Every guy she tries to even be friends with, they all end up wanting “something” back… She is sick of these “species” called males.

“SOOYOUNG!”

Sooyoung doesn’t bother to turn around and she wipes the small tears from her eyes hearing Yuk Hei running after her. Soon, he catches up to her and grabs her hand firmly, turning her to face him, centimeters away from eachother.

“What.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what. Nothing happened there, I’m just tired. Take me home. Or I’ll take the subway.”

“I’ll take you home Sooyoung.”

They were now standing in the even more awkward silence than the atmosphere at the pub. Yuk Hei was pretending to be focused on driving and Sooyoung was desperately refreshing her messages waiting for a message from Yeri who seemed to have been offline the entire day. She sighs.

“What’s wrong..?” says Yuk Hei while putting one hand on her leg.

“Don’t touch me.” And she throws his hand away.

Yuk Hei suddenly stops the car at an empty gas station.

“Sooyoung, I know you don’t have a good impression of me-“

“Damn right.”

“But tonight I invited you to change that.”

“Does it seem like it worked?”

“No.. but I want to make it work.”

“What do you even want Yuk Hei…”

“You.”

Sooyoung swears she gaged at this word.

“Excuse me?”

“Sooyoung… give me a chance.”

“You are my boss!!” quietly screams Sooyoung.

“So? I’m technically not. I am just the chief of your department Sooyoung, and nobody would care anyway. One chance. Let me prove you that you are the only woman I’ve been thinking about lately.”

The strong smell of liquoir was now filling Sooyoung’s nostrils and she knew what she had to do.

“You are drunk and saying nonsense. Grow out of it. Tomorrow you wont even know what you just said now and you will get back to sleeping with 10 different girls per night.”

“That is not true!!” protests Yuk Hei.

“Oh yeah? Tell me more of how you fucked almost all the models from our company until now except me and Chung Ha. Hmm, I wonder WHY you chose exactly me and her to go out with you tonight. Luckly Chung Ha is not a stupid, sensitive person like me.”

Now Sooyoung feels more uncomfortable than ever. She just wants to run out of this stinky car.

“You- How do you know that??!! You got proof, honey??!!” screams Yuk Hei, now seeming like a monster in comparison to the innocent Sooyoung.

“I- BECAUSE I HAVE EARS YOU DUMB SLUT! DON’T YOU THINK I TALK WITH THE GIRLS YOU USE?? Don’t you think they cry to me after you ruin their lives with sweet lies, promising them the moonlight and in the end, leaving them on the edge of killing themselves??!! They feel like worthless whores after you use them!” Sooyoung can’t believe she just had the guts to say this.

“Sooyoung.” Says Yuk Hei while locking the doors of the car.

“W-what. W-what are you doing??” Sooyoung is now on the verge of crying and screaming.

“I will teach you a lesson, Sooyoung. Right here, right now.”

Yuk Hei unzips his pants and Sooyoung swears that she’s going to start crying.

“Yuk Hei please… Let me go, I don’t want you.” Cries Sooyoung while hitting on the door to open.

“After this, you will want me, baby girl.”

He takes his pants off revealing his expensive underwear and his very erected member.

Sooyoung is a smart girl. She wipes off her tears and crawls on top of him.

“See, you already know what you have to do baby girl. Now please your boss and maybe we’ll see about a promotion or something-“ but Sooyoung turns around and presses the button to unlock the doors. She falls on the stone-cold ground of the empty gas station and starts screaming for help. Right when she gets up, Yuk Hei grabs her hand animalistically and covers her mouth. Sooyoung bites with all her power on his finger and Yuk Hei screams in pain. She left her purse in his car, but she couldn’t care less. She is now running, screaming for help, but there was hardly anyone on the street. She runs for the subway station where she finds a tall man, dressed in a suit, lazily scrolling on his phone while waiting for the subway. She runs to him and grabs his hand desperately like her life depended on it. The male stands up in fear.

“Please help me. I am being chased.”

“By who?”

“There is a guy! Tall, black hair, wearing a black shirt and blue jeans. H-he is trying t-o-“

“Don’t worry, stay by my side and if you see him, I will make sure nothing will happen to you, alright? Calm down please.”

Sooyoung takes a seat next to the man who looked so neat and who smelled like vanilla. She is trying to catch her breath when she realized her shirt was half unbuttoned and she lets out a small cry.

“I’m sorry…” she sobs.

“It’s alright. Don’t worry.” Says the man trying to reassure the insanely scared girl.

The subway arrives in the station and they both go in, no sign of Yuk Hei still following her.

“Do you think he is still looking for you?”

“That guy… He is my boss… I will have to face him at work… Or at least when I will apply my resignation.”

“Aha… Do you live far from the subway station where you get down? I can take you to your place if you’re still scared.”

After what happened, Sooyoung couldn’t trust anyone. Especially a stranger. She had no phone or money whatsoever at her so she had no one to call.

“May I use your phone..?” she quietly asks.

“Of course.” Says the man while taking out his huge, expensive phone.

Now the problem was: the only phone numbers she knew were her mom’s, her aunt’s and… Yeri’s. But Yeri hasn’t answered all day to her messages and calls, why would she answer now… She’s probably asleep. But she still tries her luck. She calls.

…

“Hello?”

Sooyoung swears she will start crying hearing the reassuring words of her best-friend.

“Y-yeri-ah… It’s me, Sooyoung. Joy.”

“JOY??!! Is this a new phone?”

“N-no.”

“What is wrong?” and now Yeri’s voice turned darker and more serious than ever.

Sooyoung starts crying.

“Y-yeri.. can you come pick me up from the subway station please.”

“SOOYOUNG WHAT IS WRONG??!! Yes!! I’m coming right now!” there is a pause and then Sooyoung hears the voice of a male on the other end, talking to Yeri and telling her ‘See you some other time?’. Sooyoung’s stomach ached.

“What was that-?”

“What was what? WHERE ARE YOU JOY??!!”

“In the subway, im getting down in 2 minutes. I’ll explain when we meet. Bye.”

…

The man smiles at her.

“Is everything ok? Is someone picking you up?”

“Yes yes! Thank you so much, Mister! This is where I get down… Thank you again…”

Sooyoung must’ve bowed to the man 50 times because she couldn’t thank the him enough.

When she exits the subway, there she is, Yeri, in the most gorgeous dress in the world, a silky black dress complimenting her body like a crown compliments a princess’ head. She worriedly runs to hug Sooyoung tightly and puts her jacket around her.

“Sooyoung… oh my godness… what happened??!!”

Sooyoung wipes her tear of happiness after seeing Yeri.

“Yuk Hei. I went out with him.”

“What??!! Your boss you mean??”

“Ex-boss. I aint walking in that office ever again.” Sobs Sooyoung while being guided by Yeri.

“Oh no… What did he do…”

“He tried to rape me Yeri.”

Yeri could swear she is going to punch a wall. She feels as anger grows inside of her and she feels like both crying and go look for the guy who did this to her other half.

“Soo…young.” Yeri finds her words terribly hard. “I cant believe this..” and she falls into Sooyoung arms, hugging around her small waistline. Sooyoung pats her head and they both start crying under the dark sky filled with stars.

 ---

It is the next day and Irene shows no sign of being calm, standing in front of all the girls, after Sooyoung told them what happened.

“Where does he live???”

“IRENE!!”

“What?? HE needs to pay!”

“And what? You will go and fight him with your pilates movements??” replies Seulgi, making Wendy burst a small laugh.

“Hey.. I think the best way to deal with this is calling the police, right?” says Yeri. “This was almost harassment!”

“ALMOST, Yeri. The police cant do anything if it DIDN’T ACTUALLY HAPPEN and if Sooyoung has no sign of harassment on her body like bruises, hickeys, blood, cum.”

“I do have some bruises from when I fell on my knees…” says Sooyoung looking to the ground like being embarrassed to talk about what happened.

“Doesn’t prove anything!” screams Irene, being on the verge of giving up. She cant take stressful situations for shit.

“Ok ok ok. I see all of us are stressed here so what about: Sooyoung, you give your resignation throught email to the main CEO of your company so that you don’t have to go there and give it yourself and encounter the bastard. Next step, buy you a new phone.” Says Wendy.

“With what money…” replies Sooyoung demolished by the thought that she is now jobless.

“We will help you sweetie!” says Seulgi while kneeling in front of Sooyoung and massaging on her knee like a mother reassuring her daughter.

“I cant girls- I cant let you do this for me… I need a new job.”

“I think I can solve this…” says Yeri.

“Wait? What? How? I thought your company doesn’t accept any new models?” says Irene.

“Not me… I got a.. well… friend who can help you.”

“Friend??” gasps Wendy.

“The guy.. The guy I went out with last night.”

Wendy swears she choked while hearing about him.

“The photographer huh?” she says.

“Yes! Him.”

“Wait what- What guy?” says Sooyoung more confused then ever, until she realizes the male voice she heard last night through Yeri’s phone.

“He is a photographer for my company and for another company aswell. He also said  his other company are looking for more models since they are at the beginning and she asked me if I know any girls willing to do this and guess what-“

“No.” says Sooyoung all of the sudden.

“What??!!” screams Irene. “ Are you crazy Sooyoung??!! This is the best opportunity ever given to you!”

“No… I don’t want the mercy of your boyfriend, Yeri.” And with this, she leaves the room leaving only silence between the girls.

“H-he is n-not my boyfriend.” Stutters Yeri, trying to catch Sooyoung not to leave the house.

“You said y’all went out huh? Wasn’t it like a “date”?”

“I mean… It was but Sooyoung… He’s not my boyfriend, actually, I don’t think we have much in common, I don’t know.” Says Yeri trying to find her right words with her clearly jealous “friend”.

“Problems in paradise…” whispers Irene.

“Irene!!!” screams Seulgi.

Irene is now smirking while leaning on the wall. Seulgi swears sometimes she wants to rip that cocky smile off Irene’s face. She thinks too much. Her mind always “overthinks”. Irene thinks Sooyoung likes Yeri, but Seulgi denies this.

Sooyoung is now back in the room with the girls, sitting next to Yeri who is hugging her, to soften down the panicked friend and try to convince her.

“Sooyoung.” Says Wendy while biting her lip, not knowing if what she s about to say will affect her future… “I think you should accept working for Yeri’s… um.. friend.”

“Yees! See, all of us encourage you, Sooyoungie! Come oon! He is soo nice, you have nothing to worry about! I also heard one of his models is the Instagram Model Seo Soojin!” reassures Yeri excitedly.

“WAIT FOR REAL?” gasps Seulgi.

“Oh my god Seulgi, your crush is showing off…” sighs Irene.

“SHUT UP! You know I love Soojin, I follow her since she started her career!”

“Why don’t u marry her then…” says Irene sassily while looking at her nails.

“Irene… fine, I will shut up…” pouts sadly Seulgi and looks to the ground.

Irene smirks again. Knowing that Seulgi wouldn’t do anything over the power of her word. She basically has Seulgi at her little finger… and she loves it.

---

It’s been a day. The girls spent it all together, watching 2 romantic movies at which Irene wanted to puke 5 times and Wendy didn’t pay any attention. They cooked together, played video games and had silly conversations. Nothing unusual.

Yeri is now alone, on the hallway, calling her photographer friend.

…

“Hello. Hi Yuta, it’s me, Yerimmie.”

“Of course, you don’t need to say who you are you know? It says when you call” says Yuta sarcastically, while letting out a small laugh.

Yeri seemed unphased but she left out a small laugh for the situation to not be awkward.

“So, you told me about your other company and that you are looking for new models?”

The conversation goes on, Yeri basically begging for him to take her bestie, Sooyoung, as a model at that company. They both come to the agreement that Sooyoung needs to come to an interview with him and his friends, the ones that basically run the entire company. He reassures Yeri that they are a trustable company, after Yeri summed up to him what happened to Sooyoung last night with her alleged “boss”.

Wendy listened to the entire conversation. ‘Yuta.. this sure is an unusual name… just as beautiful as the man who owns it…’. Wendy caught herself thinking about him again. This is bad Wendy. BAD BAD BAD.

---

The following day, Sooyoung is more nervous than ever. She just sent her resignation through email to her CEO and she is waiting for an answer while she is getting ready for the job interview Yeri arranged for her. Sadly, Yeri wasn’t available today to come with her, since she had work to do, a runway most exactly, very important and couldn’t miss it. Irene refused to come because she “had better stuff to do”, Seulgi cried about how she has too many photos to edit and the only one left was… Wendy.

“I-I don’t think it’s a good idea…” stutters Wendy knowing that if she goes there, she will see Yuta.

“Comee onn!! Why not! You re the only friend I have left who doesn’t have work to do today. Please!”

“H-how do you know I aint got work t-to do..?”

“YOU DON’T WENDY!! You just said yesterday ‘Oh man, I cant wait for tomorrow to come since I have nothing to do but to laze around’.”

“Oh my god…” Wendy facepalms herself. “You really pay a lot of attention to what I say don’t you…”

“Yes. Now get ready. Dress up formally since not only me, but my bestie has to make a good impression too.”

“Whatever.. all im gona do was cheer cringely for you anyway….”

Still, she knew she will meet him. She had to look good, at least decent.

Wendy decides to go for a green, college-like sweater with a pair of skinny black jeans that complimented her legs like no other, some black knee-high boots and a leather jacket.

Sooyoung was wearing her hair in a ponytail, dressed in a flowy dress, Balenciaga Triple S shoes and a Balenciaga jacket.

They soon leave Sooyoung’ s apartment and they get In her car where she starts blabbering about how nervous she is. Wendy couldn’t help but not focus on what she was saying. She was nervous. She was just as nervous as her best-friend. Maybe even more. ‘No wrong move, Wendy.’ ‘Don’t look at him, Wendy’ ‘Don’t faint, Wendy’. It is BAD BAD BAD.

There they are. In a huge, 45 storey building, all glass everywhere and the most futuristic furniture. Dinamic walls that imitate a waterfall are welcoming the girls at the entrance desk, where an inasanely gorgeous woman in a suit waits for them with a big smile.

“Hello, ladies.”

“Uhm, hello m’am.” Says Sooyoung. “My name is Sooyoung”

Wendy hits her with her shoulder.

“Park Sooyoung” she adds.

“Oh, yes, that’s right! You ve got an interview in 5 minutes, right?”

“Yes! She,, she is my friend, Wendy. She came to support me, is it ok is she comes with me.. please?” pleads Sooyoung with her puppy eyes.

“Yes, of course. All of us need a back-up friend, an interview can be very stressful! Floor 35, Room 102. You have a changing room right next to it. You have the outfit you need to wear waiting for you there. Here is the key to the locker. Good luck!”

She sounded like a little machine at this point, together with her robotic smile. This made Sooyoung even more nervous. In the elevator, Wendy is adjusting her hair.

“Why are you even prepping yourself so much? Its not like you are the one being interviewed…”

“You said it yourself. In order to make a good impression, you need your friend to look just as good as you.” Says Wendy cockily.

“Ugh…” sighs Sooyoung as they get out of the elevator.

Everything is set and done. Sooyoung has changed into the interview outfit which was way less revealing than the one she had to wear for the previous interview for the other company. She felt relieved. This meant they are not some creeps like Yuk Hei. Wendy reassures Sooyoung by telling her she is gorgeous and that she will do well. She combed Sooyoung’s stunning slightly curled hair and now she looks like a princess. She is ready. But, is Wendy ready for what’s about to come?

 “Hello.” Bows Sooyoung politely as she shyly enters Room 102.

She is greeted by 3 of the most beautiful males in the world. Sooyoung is feeling it again. She will stand in front of 3 males. 3 insanely gorgeous males. They looked like models for the biggest modelling company. She couldn’t believe her eyes that they were just some CEOs.

She is followed by Wendy who refuses to look at the table where the 3 men where standing. She greets them with a small bow and stands next to Sooyoung as she is introducing her as her friend and asks for permission if she can stay during the interview.

“Of course.”

She heard this voice, this so familiar voice. She finally gains courage and looks up at the table. There he was, the man she has been dreaming for 3 days now. The “forbidden” temptation. He had his hair pushed back now. His blonde hair was now sleeked back, leaving sight to his forehead. He was wearing a white shirt with rolled up sleeves, showing off his expensive Rollex. His accompanied friends weren’t any lower than him.

“You can take a seat next to us” kindly but intimidatingly  says one of the others. “ My name is Dong Sicheng and I am the CEO of this company. I want to welcome you here first, and wish you luck. I wont be talking during this interview, I will let my mates do this.”

The CEO was definitely something else. A slender man, but very good-looking. All dressed in a black suit and a red tie. His auburn hair looked insanely sharp, as it was styled with care like it was the creation of God. He sure was intimidating. Standing there, not saying a word but analyzing every move with the attention of a tiger aiming for it’s prey.

“My name is Kim Doyoung. You may introduce yourself” said the last man of the 3.

She recognized him. Sooyoung. Sooyoung knew him. It was him. The man that saved her in the subway. The insanely kind and amazing guy that offered his phone to her. The tall and handsome male was looking at Sooyoung like he knew her. He recognized the girl and gave her a reassuring smile. She could read a warm “everything will be alright!” on his face, just like two nights ago. He looked just as sleek as that night. Suit, pushed back hair with a sense of gel in it.

Wendy quietly sat on the other side of their table, next to Doyoung, so that she wont have to sit next to Yuta. She felt followed. She didn’t know why but she had the impression he was looking at her. Even if she knew, its all in her panicked head. The males smelled absolutely heavenly. She felt like she was sitting among the angels.

Sooyoung was doing so well, she was showing off her amazing body in the most sensual ways and the males seemed to show now sign of “perversion” at her presentation. They seemed formal and professional. This boosted Sooyoung’s confidence even more, knowing she is not showing herself off to some “preditors”. Wendy smiled to Sooyoung the entire time, but she couldn’t help not stare at Yuta while he was focused on studying Sooyoung. Wendy analysed Yuta like the most surreal painting you find in a museum, trying to uncover his secrets. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know him. She needed to approach Yuta. But no. This is BAD BAD BAD.

Sooyoung was now done and the males sent her to the changing room to put back her casual clothes. Wendy was left alone with them. She felt like the minutes became hours. She was sweating so bad and the silence was a killer. Until one of them broke it and said “What do you think?”.

“Isnt it weird for us to talk about this next to her friend?” said the CEO, Sicheng, nonchalantly, like Wendy couldn’t hear them just perfectly.

“Don’t mind me… I can leav-“

“No, theres no problem.” Stopped Yuta.

She swore her heart fell to the ground and came back to her chest. It meant nothing to him, he was just being nice and a professional man, but yet, in her hopeful mind, she hoped that maybe he found the slightest interest in her.

The males were filling the room with their deep, rough voices as they were talking about Sooyoung. In the end, they decided to accept her. Wendy jumped off her seat unconscioudly and screamed a small “YES!”.

The males were staring at her blankly. Except for Yuta, who started smiling and broke the silence with a small laugh.

“You must be really happy for your best friend. Especially after what I heard happened to her. I am so sorry.” He said.

That was it. She felt like there was only him and her right now.

“Y-yes. She suffered a lot. You guys gave her a chance to be happy again and gain her own money, she is a very hard-working person, don’t worry about it!” added Wendy, trying to be as serious as she could.

Sooyoung entered the room and Wendy could read on her face that she was extremely anxious and nervous. She ran to hug her. This made Doyoung and Yuta smile a little. Sicheng looked at them and rolled his eyes. The man for sure was the most professional here and he was very stiff. He announced Sooyoung that she was accepted, gave her a timetable, a key to her new private locker and changing room and a list with all the phone numbers and the names of them and the models of their company. Wendy’s eyes widened when she saw Yuta’s number on that paper. But, she would never have the courage to ever use it… Would she?

Right after saying goodbye to them and before leaving, Yuta calls for Wendy.

“Hey, I just wanted to know, are you by any chance the girl that was at Yerim’s apartment when I came to take her? You seem familiar, that’s why.” Said Yuta while gathering the scattered papers from the desk.

“Yes. Its me. I also recognized you.” Says Wendy slightly awkwardly.

“Ah, that’s nice. So if im friends with Yeri, I guess we can be too… or?”

Wendy swore she felt like she was just asked to prom in the 7th grade by the cutest guy in the class. But they were two grown up adults. Yet he made her feel so comfortable, so childish around him.

She rushes a “Yes, yes! Of course!”.

“That is great” he shows a sweet smile. So sweet she feels her feet melt. His whole face took another meaning when he smiled. “Ask Yeri or Sooyoung for my number, if you ever need anything or just want to… you know, see eachtoher at a coffee or something.”

“Ah. Yes, sure!” she couldn’t think of anything smart to say. She was brainwashed.

They were now in Sooyoung’s car, on their way to Seulgi’s place where they all were planning to see eachother and celebrate Sooyoung’s new job. Wendy was looking on the window the whole way home. She was smiling. She was happy. She was feeling for this man something she hasn’t ever felt before for a man, and she had many meaningful relationships throughout her life. But never has she dreamt at a man the way she keeps thinking at this one. Next step: she had to know what Yerim truly feels for this man! She had to know if she has to erase him forever from her memory or if maybe she has a chance.

They got to Seulgi’s place where they were greeted with arms opened by all the girls. Even Irene seemed truly happy, she had a wide smile that the girls haven’t seen in so long.

“Soooo… HOW DO WE PARTY TONIGHTT??!!” jumps Yeri excitedly.

“Why don’t we go to the club?” proposes Seulgi. “I don’t really want to clean up over a party that we would hold at my place”.

“I would help you…” mumbles Irene.

“Shuut up! I want in a club!” protests Seulgi who seemed like a child who wants candies.

“I am alright with this!” says Wendy while staying on her phone, looking for clubs.

They all agreed in the end, more or less they had to drag Irene there. They were all getting ready and Yerim was in the bathroom doing her make-up since the whole bedroom was packed with the other girls. Wendy saw the perfect oprtunity. Now it’s the time. Now or never.

“Yerimie…” says Wendy shyly cracking the bathroom door open to make sure she wasn’t gona walk on to Yeri being naked or something.

“Yes, Wendy?”

“Hey…” she scratched the back of her neck. “You know… just a question…”

“Sure, what is it” says Yeri nonchalantly while applying lip gloss.

“I just wanted to ask you, you know, just from pure curiosity. How was that date with… what was his name..” she pretended to forget the name she has been having in mind all the time.

“Yuta. It was… nice I guess.”

“You guess?” she felt her heart skipping.

“Yeah. The guy is ok, very charming, handsome, well mannered, a real gentleman. But I don’t really wanna mess into a relationship with my photographer. It would be slightly weird and if we ever get to break up, I could never pose for him again, it would be awkward.”

“I see…”

“So yeah. But I am interested in keeping to see him. You know, as friends I guess. I don’t really know what else to say about him.”

“Aha… Alright then, I was thinking to take a shower before leaving, are you done with your make-up?”

“Yes, just now. You can have fun in the shower.” Says Yeri while smirking and patting Wendy on the shoulder.

This is exactly what she needed to do. Relax herself, make her lose her mind for a moment. She could lose her mind but he would still not leave it. Wendy enters the shower and pleases herself thinking about him, hoping that he does the same.

 The girls are now all prepped and ready to go hit the biggest club in Seoul, Octagon. Any male that would see them now, would feel their boner kicking in. Five insanely hot girls, all dressed in leather skirts, dressed or pants, crop tops and high heels being the main star of their outfits. They looked like they were heading out for Seoul Fashion Week, not for a club night. 

Little did they know was that tonight was about to be a night to remember, forever…

[fictionkinfessions]

oh my god okay i am a full entire week late to the canon quote game but i saw the prompt when it got posted and then went offline for a full entire week because my sibling was here and i wanted to be fully present bcuz they hadnt stayed over in a bit AND im not sure i actually understood the prompt now that ive read other peoples responses but i miss submitting here so

i actually can sort of quote myself? like. i would say “dont overthink that”/“dont think too hard about that” a lot, basically whenever i said something that could possibly be a little bit, uh. concerning, if you thought about it too long, usually because i had just finished thinking about it too long and then gone. fuck. wait. god dammit im doing it again arent i. and anyways this was not a common thing for most folks to say as far as i can remember so when i first remembered this (read: figured out why i suddenly kept saying this thing that i couldnt have picked up from anyone in this life because none of my friends ever say that) i was basically like lmao dumbass didnt realize this was not even in the top three problems of the day for most other dragons around him but um. recently i figured out that i actually picked this up from thorn. who… didnt really say it very often to pretty much anyone who wasnt me. for reasons that are becoming increasingly obvious. so technically i uh. technically i can actually quote thorn, it turns out, basically, is what im getting at here.

weirdly writing all this out kind of triggered a couple memories of specific things that got said that might fit the prompt a bit better but theyre all a little too personal to share here honestly. mostly because it would be super fucking obvious who else was involved in the conversation and that feels… weird idk. (and also technically i guess all of this is just my brains awkward translation of a language that does not exist (that i couldnt really recreate or transcribe even if i remembered it accurately) and theres a certain connotation to what was actually being said at least in the first case that i cant really explain and that is killing me right now omg. sometimes i forget why i dont even bother trying to explain my memories to most people anymore and then i try to participate in an ask game or an ongoing conversation or something and im like. ah. right. the vocal chords. lmao.) anyways sorry this kinda veered off topic a little but i cannot sleep right now and its seriously been ages since i submitted here. and also i really dont know what else you would expect from me lol -qibli (wings of fire)

[dear--charlie]

Dear Charlie,

Everything’s gone wrong again. I thought my life was finally going somewhere, I had some direction and a purpose and things to live for but, as usual, it all came crashing down around me. Every single time I finally start to accept that my life might not be so bad I’m proven wrong. Honestly, I feel awful for being depressed because there are people out there with worse problems than me but I can’t stop it hurting. I know my friends and family love me… but I don’t want to tell them more than they can handle. So many people I love have abandoned me… My dad, my grandparents, uncles, close friends, boyfriends, my best friend of 6 years who I told everything to and trusted more than anyone… they all just left me and I honestly don’t know why. Am I that hard to love? Do I push people away without even realising it? I’m just so sick of being abandoned, every single time it happens they take a piece of me away with them and at this point I feel like there’s almost nothing left of me. You’d think by now I’d be used to it but apparently not.

For 4 months I was happier than I had been in a long time. I was dating a guy I’d had a crush on for 3 years, he genuinely seemed to like me back. He was nothing like the guys I had dated before who were aggressive, narcissistic, emotionally unavailable cheaters. This new guy was cute, funny, interesting and just the right amount of clingy that makes you feel wanted and needed. Every day for 4 months straight he’d want to see me or speak over Facebook if we couldn’t meet up. It was strange because Ive never been out with a guy who enjoyed my company that much before. I was wary for the first 2 months. I kept a lot of my past and emotional baggage to myself and I tried not to get attached until I was certain I could trust him. I was terrified that once he really got to know me he would leave like the others did… but after weeks of our friends convincing me that he truly wasn’t like the others and that he really did have a good heart and pure intentions I finally decided it was time to let my guard down. My boyfriend was relieved, he’d been begging me for ages to just let go and trust him. For about a month and a half things were going well. I told him all about my past relationships, my most traumatic experience and how so many people I cared about had just left and I explained how much that hurt me. Around this time I also found out that I hadn’t been accepted into college for my second year and that I have to wait until next year to reapply, I was gutted, naturally, but he comforted me and was so supportive that I stopped feeling like such a failure.

2 weeks ago, completely out of the blue, my boyfriend just stopped messaging me. For the first few days I was a little worried because he had never just ghosted me before, but I told myself that he was probably busy or needed some time to himself. After a week though, I was a nervous wreck. A few years earlier I’d had a boyfriend who had done the same thing. After 3 months together, he just disappeared suddenly with no warning or explanation. He deactivated all social media accounts, got a new phone and moved to another country. He never had the guts to tell me himself or even break up with me; I had to hear about it through friends a year later after I had spent months looking for him and had a genuine mental breakdown thinking he had died or something. This was a very traumatic event in my life that still haunts me to this day, so having my current boyfriend disappear for a week without explaining why to me was honestly triggering. I spent days crying and even had a panic attack so bad that I disassociated for about 2 hours.

When he eventually came back online he told me that he’d spent the week with a family friend who was visiting. I didn’t know what to think. It was sketchy, to me. He hadn’t mentioned this girl before or warned me that she was coming over. Why couldn’t he just message me a few times during the week or just tell me what was happening and that’s why he would be offline? Why did he need to completely ignore me with no explanation… he told me small fragments of things that had happened over the week that tore into my heart; they had gone for a walk along a cliff path together to watch the sun set, he had slept at her house almost every night that week, they’d been drinking and going to BBQ’s together with family… I told myself not to be jealous or suspicious but he had never done any of those things with me, and when I told friends and family about it all they too were suspicious and told me it sounded very likely that he was cheating. But I didn’t want to believe it. He was such an amazing boyfriend for the first few months; he wouldn’t do this to me. I was so hurt and confused, but also shocked because this was so unlike him. For a little while though, we seemed to have gone back to normal but small arguments began and paranoia had set in for me. He had broken the trust that had taken so long to build between us and it hurt me. A week later he decided we could no longer be together but he wouldn’t tell me why. He said he still loved me but we just couldn’t be together anymore, then he told me I needed to stay away from him and with that he was gone. He wont reply to my messages, I think he’s put me on mute now. I still don’t know if he cheated or not, honestly I don’t even care if he did. I just want him back. I wish we could forget the past two weeks and carry on our relationship like before…he made me so happy, I cannot lose that happiness, not again…I just cant.

I don’t know what to do. I feel like he’s ripped my heart straight from my chest and stomped on it. I trusted him more than anybody and I gave him all the love I could but it just wasn’t enough. I’m not enough. Why am I never good enough? What is so wrong with me that it repels the people I care about? I’ve barely slept in a week, every time I try I can’t stop myself from breaking down and crying for hours and hours until I’m so exhausted I pass out. I cried so much and so hard the other night that I threw up and burst a blood vessel in my eye.

Nothing feels right or real anymore. My friends try to help and cheer me up but it’s just not working. Everything I used to enjoy like music, movies, writing, reading, art and going out just doesn’t interest me anymore. Everything is grey and dull for me now. Honestly, a part of me believes I deserve this pain for being so naïve. I was stupid enough to trust someone again and allow myself to become attached; I’m never doing that again.

Love, Jovie.

[sozotohakai]

Tagged in by @thenoahfamily

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people:  @torntruth @ask-cross-marian @pandemicnight @noahwisdom @darkfeathered @solstellarianallen and anyone else, if you want to of course~

last

1. drink - Cola and water

2. phone call - my brother

3. text message - my brother

4. song you listened to - had a few on shuffle (Re:make from ONE OK ROCK, Strike Back opening of Fairy Tail, Kaze no Uta from FLOW, Funkist Shine opening of Tales of the Heroes Twin Brave, and three of MAD, Preserved Rose, Crest of Z, and Identity). Fun fact: they’re all from my Tales of playlist (which is a playlist of Tales amv).

5. time you cried - Last week, when we watched the Anita ship sinking scene in DGM

ever

7. kissed someone and regretted it - Kind of? didn’t really feel like a kiss, more like a puppy licking, but I did regret inviting the guy over. Lesson learned that day: two glasses of alcohol are already enough to do things you wouldn’t do sober.

8. been cheated on - No, unless I never leaned the one boyfriend i had for a short time did have someone else.

9. lost someone special - My very special ones are still there, but I did lose people I care for.

10. been depressed - I believe so, never very deep, though it was deep in my last year of college.

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - Never been drunk enough for that

fave colours

12. Blue

13. Green

14. Gold

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - Oh yes~

16. fallen out of love - Nope

17. laughed until you cried - Oh yes

18. found out someone was talking about you - in good ways yes

19. met someone who changed you - I’d say yes

20. found out who your friends are - I would say yes

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - Nah

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - Almost all of them, I use it only to add offline people I know. Which would be 10 or so? But beside mom and bro, and three friends of mom and I, I don’t have contact anymore.

23. do you have any pets - No, but at my bro’s home, there’s a cat, Grisou.

24. do you want to change your name - Not really, I mean my surname yes, I want only my mom’s one.

25. what did you do for your last birthday - Oh boy I can’t recall

26. what time did you wake up today - I think it was 10 am

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - Sleeping

28. what is something you can’t wait for - New DGM chapters, mom’s retirement finalizing. Patient about but still can’t wait, writing more of my second novel, next time we’re eating out at our fave restaurant.

30. what are you listening to right now - Nothing

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - Dont think so

32. something that’s getting on your nerves - Knowing when people are bothering my friends

33. most visited website - Tumblr, youtube.

34. hair colour - dark brown

35. long or short hair - Short, neck length

36. do you have a crush on someone - On a waiter at our fave restaurant >> and also on an online friend which I cant figure out if its platonic or not.

37. what do you like about yourself - Being silly, my personality, my haircuts when I get it done as I want, my eyes.

38. want any piercings? - No

39. blood type - I think its O

40. nicknames - Chris, Silly, Queen of Feels

41. relationship status - Single

42. zodiac -Cancer

43. pronouns - They/them and she/her

44. fave tv shows - DGM, Natsume Yujjinshou, BBC Merlin, The Voice (France).

45. tattoos - None but sometimes I’m tempted. Would be either dragon(s), wolf(ves) or fox(es). or wing(s).

46. right or left handed - Right handed, though apparently the weird thing is that use the knife with my left one (apparently you tend to use your dominant hand?)

47. ever had surgery - No

48. piercings - None

49. sport - None, though I do walk a lot

50. vacation - Visiting Ti, visiting online friends, touring UK and Ireland, visiting Japan.

51. trainers - I favor boots. If that’s the question.

more general

52. eating - I love to eat a few different food so its varied.

53. drinking - Cola, tea and water

54. i’m about to watch - Nothing tonight, or maybe check Markiplier channel

55. waiting for - finish this and read, also energy to write again

56. want - To write for threads and fanfics and my novel.

57. get married - Neutral about it? It feels like something I can only know if it’s a shared wish with a partner.

58. career - Writer

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - Hugs

60. lips or eyes - Eyes

61. shorter or taller - Taller

62. older or younger - Around my age (not too younger or older, though older works better than younger)

63. nice arms or stomach - Both? Arms?

64. hookup or relationship - Relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant - A bit of both

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - Not total stranger, kissed someone I only knew for a few hours yes

67. drank hard liquor - Dont think so, but maybe a bit at my friend’s restaurant

68. lost glasses - Dont have glasses

69. turned someone down - Yes

70. sex on first date - 99% no, 1% for super rare case

71. broken someones heart - I’m not sure, I dont know it, if I did

72. had your heart broken - Yeah

73. been arrested - No

74. cried when someone died - Yeah

75. fallen for a friend - Yes

do you believe in

76. yourself - Yep

77. miracles - Yes

78. love at first sight - Experienced it, but that’s why I’ll say it’s more like, instant want to date, but not love-love.

79. santa claus - When I was little. Now I kind of think, Santa is everyone.

80. kiss on a first date - I do think it can happen

81. angels - Yes

other

82. best/closest friends names - Ti, Chelle, Sommer, Brandon, Sparky, Allen.

83. eye color - Brown

84. fave movie - Godzilla (1998, 2014, and the 2017/2018 animated one). Though I love a few movies.

85. fave actor - Colin Morgan

[janeesaldean]

5th November 2017

I promised, I would only mention my blessings. When I was started moving out from my hometown at age of 17 years old, there is nothing that I hope rather than learning from experiences that would remind me about the importance of happiness and how to stay true to who I am. I wanna be an amazing and inspiring for myself in so many ways through my determination and kindness. I was confused as to the path that I should take after I graduate at this year. Looking how bad the economics nowadays in my country has never bring me down. I tried a lot of different pathway that I shall enjoy at that moment. I went for traveling on road trips with my beloved family most of my times since Feb-March. April for my graduation day! I have took the IELTS and apparently has giving me a devastated results from what I was expecting in May. But I believe in resting not stopping that what I am doing will come true. I went back home for Eid in June. Were clear about my long distance relationship is such an asshole and helping my brother for his wedding preparation in July lol. Was participated in volunteer dancing for Malaysia independence day, also for Oil and gas passport class training in August. Was discovering what shall I do for my side income despite of being a full time engineer till the end of my last breath lol. So i discovered such as make up things, photographer, freelancer sites, shooting my bestie best pose. We even posted it to commercial the styles that we had created in sponsored ads and was looking to sell our old clothes at lower price. I enjoyed this stuff but its just a while that it take lots of effort and modals to do. I will consider this, when i am stable and ready into this field. Besides, I went for some interviews as well and received an offers. However I rejected all as I find I don’t wanna go back to my previous routine that would give me lots of burden that I cant apply for 80/20 principle in my life which is 80% results and 20% efforts. I said to myself, I will not enjoy that Work honestly! So its okay. End of the month, I found out about ecommerce. Thank god. I had tried the ecommerce classes and applied for ebay, amazon and also shop.com with my friends instead of open up a store and spend lots of modal to do. This is the brilliant stuff that i shall continue and have a picture of future I shall head to! Online - Offline business sooner as it doesnt required any modal and store to do which is i can get profits while am sleeping too teeeheee! Thanks to September! Then there was an October, Family times again! My parents came over and we went to Thailand. I tried to talk to my parents about my plan to migrate and study at the overseas again and again. They were fine finally and agreed as long as I wearing hijab and do my prayer. That what was I expected from them. I cried. Thanks mum and paps. Despite of my broken heart and healing myself during october, he was come and finding me back. I did a good one thing for myself. Whatever happens it is, past is past. It doesn’t even matter now. Not anymore. November! I am applying some Universities in Canada.. I shall look forward for it. God bless.

[deaduwus]

ajah, i miss you

@yunxnation

if you're ajah or as i usually call you yunx, please keep on reading. this is probably overkill as i messaged you, but i noticed on the mobile website you can't find the message notification when i tested it out. i should have done this so much earlier.

I miss you so much. everytime i look at the screenshots of our conversations or even the conversations on hangouts or quotev, i feel like crying. you know that feelings haven't really been something I'm accustomed to, but in your disappearance I've grown used to them. i just want to talk to you again, though I don't think it'll be possible anymore. you've been offline for so long on Tumblr and everywhere else. on geeking, your account has become classified as inactive by the app and now has an _80 at the end. I'm afraid that one day you'll disappear again, but in your trace rather than your presence. the only good thing is that your influence can't disappear, and while I'm grateful for that, i want you here, more than anything else, in my life. even though you're not here, you're on my mind everyday. sometimes my head gets so full of worry and what ifs that you're actually dead or hurt and anything bad that i cant focus for the entire day or week. my biggest fear now is no longer me not being able to assimilate into society but you forgetting me. I'm sorry if it's creepy or pressuring, but the entire universe can forget of my existence and I'd be alright; it is only you that affects me. I'm sorry definitely that you mean so much to me; you probably didn't think you matter/ed so much to me. in all honesty, I'm still clinging to when you said i was the most important to you-- pathetic, right? but that phrase you maybe didn't mean is now one of the only string of words that comfort me nowadays.

you did so much more to help me than you know.

I'm only rambling now, but i dont know what else to do. try to prove my identity? explain all of the attempts i made to regain contact that has stretched for months now? self deprecate and try to vent to a person who might not even return to this account ever again? describe all of my hopes and dreams that are going to fail?

I am filled with many regrets. as soon as you first vanished in february, i should've given you all of the contacts i possess and had you write them down somewhere safe. i should've told you how much you meant to me and reminded you of it every single moment we got to spend together. i should've listened more than talk. i should've asked for contact information too(though you probably would've rejected, and that's okay). even though your dad blamed me, i would've been happy calling him and being lectured or hung up on if it meant i had a chance.

I don't even live in urban florida anymore, now i live in suburban georgia. things have really changed, and i have too. when i look back on the screenshots I wonder how you dealt with me. I was really cringe worthy. i remember so many promises we made-- you probably have forgotten most of them by now. i still remember being on the bus to school at 6 am in eighth grade and urging you to sleep since it was 3 am for you. the compromise was that i would start eating three meals a day if you got at least five hours of sleep a day. it meant the world to me at the time, but even then, because of my own self destruction during the summer, i almost stopped eating entirely. with how busy nikea was, i didn't have any friends to lean on. i still had your words though and clung on. i don't know where i would be right now if i didn't have them. i remember when we spoke of what would happen if one of us died during the funeral proceedings of my grandmother's death in april, and you assured you wouldn't throw the memory of me away. a similar incident was earlier in the year, when i said I'd like to be able to send a necklace to you because i was afraid that without a physical reminder of me, you'd think i was only a figment of your imagination. you told me you'd always remember me. i felt sincerity in your words and a small bit of doubt in my own ability to capture the same enthusiasm about recounting my personality. on less serious events, i remember telling you of when my ringtone(you singing ponponpon) went off in class, and you being embarrassed while asking me why. I found the reaction adorable and teased you. I can remember making dirty jokes with you about original characters and ships. I remember you speaking about your acne that blends into your skin when you sent me a picture of your haircut somewhere in late 2016. i remember laughing with you over my message NUTNUT. I remember, i remember, i remember-- there are all these events, but you are the memory i remember the most vividly. you have been, are, and forever will be the person most brilliant and shining in my mind, whether you or I want it or not. I wonder if I sound whimsical.

Again, I love you-- I love you so much. I owe you so much and have repaid so little. I can only hope you're reading this, but even if you aren't, I love you anyways. Even though it has been almost a year since I've heard from you, I love you so much.

I see you in my dreams sometimes. One time, you put your hand on my shoulder and told me things were going to be alright. Another incident, we were just texting and you were typing up jokes you had thought of while you were gone. I wake up with streaks of tears on my face every single time(there have been more occurrences), and my sister even asked me at one point if I needed to go to an asylum. Though, maybe I do need to. Surely, this sort of fixation is unhealthy. You're probably creeped out by me; I know I would choose never to reply to me by now. But I'm stuck and I can't find the strength to move on from you. You most likely have moved on from me even then. You were always more able than me. You've always been a shimmering diamond in my eyes. I know I've said this too many times by now, but I love you more than any language in this universe can describe.

I've grown up a bit and matured. I've started becoming more detached from reality and I've managed to close myself off some more. I thought I'd get better since I no longer have you to rely on, but instead I feel lonely and even more lost now. Maybe it's best you don't come back. Maybe I'll be forced to rely on someone else and learn that way. But I don't want to. If you are not the person I return to, I have no desire to return to any person or being. You are special to me and you will forever remain that way. No one can even come close to you. No one can serve as a substitute for you. I wear both of the necklaces from the set where I wanted to send you one, so that if I ever get to send it you, maybe you'll be able to feel me through it. I've become a true fool. I'm sorry. None of these paragraphs make sense anymore. I want and I want and I want, but does it even mean anything anymore? I have so little chance of you reading this it's most likely no use. But I can only try, and I'm trying my hardest for you. Is my dedication too much? Are my motives too shady? Are they too disgusting? What are they even? Before you came into my life, I was much more organized and able to carry out my life. Now, I'm a wreck who can't even work up the courage to test out your numbers in fear of someone who isn't you picking up, or the disappointment in the owner not being you. I'm the biggest coward I know now. But I desire this way and path because of the fact you crossed fates with me in it. I missed my shot by not checking your Tumblr during the summer. I just kept sending letters that got sent back. I'm just hoping to whatever force there is that miraculously you'll check your account in a month. It looks like you probably won't be able to come back until maybe next summer.

I swore I'd never tell you my age, but I'm fifteen now! I'm the age you were when you met me! And now you're seventeen. One more year! I love you. Back to what I was gonna talk about in the last paragraph. Because I've grown a bit, I'm now someone who I can consider as somewhat worthy to stand by your side. I'm now 5'5 too! I wonder how tall you are now.

I love you.

601-595-0127 is my mothers number.

813-517-7616 is my number.

813-517-6347 is my sisters number.

I'll wait forever for you. <3

I'm sroryy for the wait.

Happy belated birthday!!

[hinatakickflips]

-that lurking sense of dread that surfaces totally at random so i can never anticipate when im going to feel terrified for no reason and fail to get any sleep bc i think im going to die or something

-trying to have a good time bonding w/ people offline and then thinking abt how theyre all going to die one day and we wont see each other anymore so whats the point of being close to anyone

-trying to have a good time distracting myself from intrusive thoughts by filling the void w/ material goods before thinking abt how im going to die one day so whats the point of owning or caring abt anything

-realizing on a daily basis that life is proceeding at a constant rate and i am aging and i am going to die one day and realizing im not ready to face a future where i have to rely on myself and make money and somehow figure out what i want to do

-wanting to study sciences but every branch i used to have fun in makes me think too much about the world on a larger scale and how insignificant and pointless i am and just in general makes me feel infinitely more worse and scared bc i know too much when id rather not know anything at all

-thinking about the consequences of aging and wanting to kill myself but then feeling fine the next day so im never consistent enough to actually kill myself lolol

-having too much access to friends online and nearly oversharing abt how bad off i am every night and then getting scared i said too much

-crying on a daily basis because something always sets me off and if that sense of dread is triggered guess whos crying the whole night??? u know whats garbage, spending a night wide awake and crying and then having to attend classes like ur a normal person

-not feeling like a normal person bc ur hyperaware of every cell in your body and questioning if you really are yourself at all if youre made up of a thousand tinier beings

-wanting to die to escape aging but the uncertainty of whether or not there is anything after death makes it too scary to go through with but then you realize death is inevitable and youre going to have to pass into the unknown one day and youre never gonna know when that day is and then wondering if theres nothing at all and getting scared of what it feels like for everything to stop, and to not even be aware of it because your brain stops too

-getting more scared bc u know stress is proven to kill you faster and every day you spend freaking out gets you closer to dying which makes you more scared and its a catch 22 you cant escape and you hate it

-literally not being able to do a damn thing even though showering and eating is important and so is changing your maxi-pad but i have no motivation to do anything and sleeping is even scary these days so the exhaustion is only making me worse on top of my lack of self care

-christmas coming up but i have no motivation to make any gifts and everything i started is only partially done and i know for a fact i wont be able to finish no matter how hard i try because doing anything is just too much, and then im going to look like a bad friend

-having no outlet for any of these feelings because i cant motivate myself to draw or write or do anything i thought i enjoyed because it feels too hard so i just spend every day staring at my laptop getting nothing done and probably making everything worse as a result of my total stagnation as a human being

-wanting to kill myself but since i cant do it i try to resort to self harm instead but my house doesnt carry bandages and im scared to do it if i cant bandage myself up after because im a coward

-knowing that a support system would probably benefit me but ive been lying to my parents too long to open up to them even though i love them and only having one irl friend who im too scared to drive off and knowing ill never have a romantic partner because of the way i am, and even if i have my sister and my dog theyre both going to die someday or ill die first so whats the point