#cantrip catnip

[envysparkler]

It had been a regular Friday—normal patrol, doing the rounds, Bruce hovering over all of them in spirit because he was laid up with a sprained ankle, and, of course, interrupted by a wannabe Rogue that was either insanely dangerous or ridiculously stupid.  Or, as in tonight’s case, both at the same time.

Magic.  Wondrous, terrible magic.  There was a reason Batman did his best to keep magic out of Gotham.  It was too unpredictable and they were all only human.  Their sole defense against magic was to dodge.  And keep dodging.  Damn, this guy was really fast at casting spells.

Dick hadn’t been paying much attention to his spiel—something something power something something Gotham something something everyone will know my name—because he’d graduated the point where he wasn’t the one who had to do the detective work—that was what younger siblings were for—and he merely calculated the height of those hanging lights and if one would crash and hit the magician if he cut them properly.

There was a yelp as Red Robin and Robin accidentally dove in the same direction to avoid a spell and ended up sprawling out on the ground.  Dick was on the other side of the magician, too far to help, but Red Hood stepped forward, growling, “Hey, you Hogwarts reject, did you learn aim from the Imperial Stormtroopers?”

Dick marked another point in Hood’s I-swear-we’re-not-family-fuck-off-Dickhead-or-I’ll-shoot-you-and-also-if-you-get-shot-I’ll-kill-you-myself column.  At this point, the only person who probably still believed Hood’s protestations of rebelliousness was Bruce.

Hood fired a warning shot from his gun.

The magician attacked on instinct.

Hood didn’t get out of the way fast enough.

Everyone in the warehouse saw the gray beam of light hit Hood square in the chest.  Dick’s heart dropped somewhere below his stomach, Red Robin made a sharp cry, and even Robin took a step towards Hood, though it was already too late.

Hood’s figure winked out.

No, something in Dick screamed, already whirling towards the magician—and was stopped by a tiny, scratchy little meow.

Dick swiveled back.  There was an unbelievably small baby kitten on the ground where Hood had just been, all black with a tiny little spot of white on his forehead.

Red Robin made a choked sound.  Robin had frozen in place.  “Oops,” the magician said, sounding distinctly sheepish.

Before anyone could react, the magician disappeared with a crack.

“Hood?” Dick tried, struggling to keep his voice level.  The baby kitten made another sharp cry, and took a tottering step forward.

Dick couldn’t control himself anymore.

“Oh my god.”  He was so tiny.  He could fit into Dick’s palm.  Maybe-Hood hissed when Dick scooped him up, putting up a valiant effort to gnaw Dick’s fingers off even if those teeny tiny little teeth—and that little pink tongue—could barely put a dent in Dick’s gloves.

“Is that really Hood?” Red Robin said, a strange expression on his face, like Christmas had come early and he wasn’t ready to believe it.  “What if—what if the guy just…sent Hood somewhere, and replaced him with a kitten?”

“It would be an improvement,” Robin muttered.

Probably-Hood stopped chewing Dick’s fingers to shoot Robin the dirtiest look a baby kitten could muster, and Dick could see the consternation visibly melt off of Robin’s face as his baby brother resisted the urge to coo.

“Even if this isn’t Hood, we need to get back to the Cave and figure out what that spell was,” Dick said, studying the kitten.  “Hmm, little guy?  Are you my little brother?  Give me a meow for yes, and continue trying to bite my fingers for no.”

Most-Definitely-Hood hissed at him again.

“This is the best day of my life,” Dick grinned.  “Bruce is going to freak out.”

~#~

Bruce was, indeed, freaking out.  “What happened?” he nearly shouted as they got out of the Batmobile, waiting in the garage—and judging by Alfred’s visible aura of disapproval, clearly against orders.

Dick, climbing out of the passenger seat, had to make a flailing catch as the baby kitten attempted to make a break for it.  “Shh,” he said.  “You’re going to scare Jason.”

Bruce stopped and stared.  Tim, exiting the driver’s side, broke down again into the giggling fit that had nearly caused him to crash the car.  Damian looked visibly amused.

Bruce blinked at the car, as if expecting a hulking six foot two former crime lord to get out.  And then looked at Dick and the tiny little kitten hissing in his hands.  Back at the car.  Back at Dick.

“What?” he finally said, voice weak.

“At least Damian isn’t going to adopt him,” Dick said, firmly detaching tiny kitten claws from his gloves to deposit the furiously hissing kitten into Bruce’s grasp.  Jason squawked, loudly, and attempted to escape, but Bruce’s reflexes were too fast.

He slowly drew the little ball of fur up to his face, face slack, ignoring the way the kitten pricked his palms.  “You’re joking,” Bruce said flatly.

“Would I joke about something like this?” Dick asked, wounded.  Bruce gave him a Look.  “Okay, yeah, I would totally joke about something like this, I can’t believe I’ve never thought of it before, but no, our little magician problem waved his staff and it hit Jay and,” Dick waggled his fingers at the puffed-up kitten.

Bruce still didn’t look convinced.

“Of course,” Dick said to the kitten, “if this isn’t Jason, that means it’s a lost little kitten that needs to go to the vet and get lots of shots��”

Jason reacted predictably to the idea of needles and neatly clambered up Bruce’s arm, clinging to the man’s shoulder and hissing at Dick from his perch.

Dick turned the shit-eating grin to his father, “Believe me now?”

Bruce was wincing and trying to extract Jason’s claws from his skin.  “Jason got turned into a cat?  How do we undo the spell?”

“Frankly, Father, I find the current state of affairs significantly more agreeable,” Damian said, returning after changing.  “You have to admit that Todd is more tolerable like this.”

The kitten didn’t have time to take offense before Tim piped up, his face still splotchy from laughing too hard, “Yeah, he’s all cute and cuddly.”

Jason made a low growling rumble that showed clearly what he thought of that sentiment.  Unfortunately for him, it just made him look cuter.

“Boys, stop teasing your brother,” Bruce said firmly, finally managing to finagle Jason’s claws free of his shirt and tuck him into the curve of his elbow.  “Of course we’re going to figure out how to get him back.”

Jason made a loud hiss and scratched Bruce.  Bruce, startled, loosened his grip, and Jason leapt free like a bullet.  Dick dove for him and missed, Tim jumped out of the way as Jason went streaking past, and soon the black kitten was no longer visible.

“Well, that was entirely predictable,” Damian said, staring in the direction Jason had gone.

[magicratfingers]

ok the mailing experiment is kickin off - I'll let y'all know if there's any openings! In the meantime feel free to goof around on the @catnips-cantrips bar blog if ya want. It's a cute shop but.. pretty poorly run

[athena-cat-wizard-official]

oh catnip? i thought you said cantrip, so I cast ray of frost on your plushie

ouoaaouaog

[wvrlock]

Autumn Equinox: Magic items

This is a list of fun magic items inspired by The Griffon's Saddlebag for you to use in The Autumn Equinox event, especially the Lantern Market! You may include them in threads, send them as ask prompts for muses to react to, give or receive them as presents... (These are extracted and condensed from my personal copy, if you want the items' stats and pictures to use these and more magic items in your games, consider supporting the creator!)

[PERFORMER'S PUPPET] While wearing this puppet on your hand, you can use a bonus action to change the style, color and shape of the puppet's clothing and face.

[HAT TRICK] While holding the hat, you can cast the find familiar spell from it, pulling a rabbit or dove familiar from the hat.

[DOODLE RING] While wearing this wooden ring on your finger, you can touch a solid surface and begin to draw. Your finger makes marks as if it were a piece of charcoal, ink quill or paintbrush, in the color of your choice.

[CATNIP AMULET] While wearing this gold and jade amulet, you have advantage on ability checks to find and call Tiny domestic cats, and on Wisdom (Animal Handling) checks to interact with them

[TOADSTONE] This small jade carving of a frog dangles from a simple cord of leather to be worn as a necklace. While you wear it, you gain a swimming speed equal to your walking speed and can hold your breath for up to 1 hour, and can cast the jump spell targeting only yourself. This necklace is cursed, and attuning to it curses you. While you are cursed, your skin is perpetually slightly wet, and you have only an appetite for insects.

[PETAL DANCER WARD] This cape is made of colorful, aromatic petals. As you walk, a dusting of petals drift behind you, disappearing before they touch the ground.

[RAVENHEART'S ORIGAMI RAVENS] This slim wooden carrying case holds three dark paper birds. When you hold one and speak its command phrase, "By fold and feather, fly", it transforms into a raven for 1 hour. It is treated as if it were your familiar summoned by the find familiar spell.

[BATH POTION] This bubbly potion smells of lavender and flowers. A creature that drinks it as an action has its outermost layer of skin rinsed from its body, and any remaining dirt and grime magically washed away. Its breath, hair and nails are immaculately cleaned. For the next 24 hours, the creature smells of daisies and honey and any blood, grime or dirt magically falls away from the creature, who continues to smell and appear freshly washed. Bubbles occasionally escape from its mouth while the potion is in effect.

[RING OF ROSES] As an action, you can cause a single, thornless rose to grow and appear in your hand. The rose blossoms in a color of your choice, and withers and disintegrates after 24 hours.

[PAIR OF TINY VIOLIN RINGS] This pair of golden rings play a sad, sad melody when you rub the two fingers wearing them together. Creatures that know the vicious mockery cantrip can use this set of rings as a somatic component instead of the usual verbal component.

[SINGING STEIN] While this pewter stein holds at least a sip's worth of potable alcohol, the face adorning it comes alive to sing songs based on the kind of drink. The stein is not sentient, but does have a pleasant singing voice. Wine gets ballads, rum gets sea shanties, and ale gets drinking songs.

[BIRD OF A FEATHER] While holding onto this small toy of a roc, you magically gain a flying speed of 20 feet for up to 1 minute.

[PIPE OF DELICIOUS SMELLS] While smoking this pipe, you can use an action to exhale a puff of smoke that magically smells like delicious food, such as freshly baked pie, stew, or tea. The smell dissipates after a few seconds

[FAITHFUL HOUND'S TOY] This well-chewed dog toy has a small bell inside it. As an action, you can shake the toy and throw it into an unoccupied space within 30 of you. The toy vanishes with the sound of a panting dog, and duplicates the effect of the faithful hound spell.

[RAT KING CROWN] While wearing this dark silver circlet, ordinary rats, giant rats and swarms of rats are friendly towards you. You can communicate with them as if by the speak with animals spell. Whenever you roll initiative, a swarm of rats gathers at your location, friendly to you and your allies and hostile against your enemies. The swarm becomes hostile if you remove the crown or if you or your companions harm it.

[SCROLL OF INSTANT COOKIES] This 5-foot scroll of parchment is wrapped around a rolling pin. As an action, you can unroll 1 or more feet of the parchment, pressing it against a solid surface. The parchment immediately transforms into a freshly baked and cut pastry dough of the shape and flavor of your choice. Each food of scroll creates 18 cookies when pressed. When the last of the scroll has been used, the rolling pin can be used as a magical club.

[maleficore]

If you ever feel stupid just remember that it took me near 200h of gameplay to realise its "cantrips" not "catnips" because I misread the name and did not question it in the slightest

[magicratfingers]

cyoa testers! Officially kicking off today!

Non cyoa testers! I’ll post what I can while avoiding spoilers and make a digital version when the experiment wraps - cuz it’s turning out pretty cute

Apologies to all our patrons for the little snafu last night ✨

Opening late today (no roof!)

[thinking-kiwi]

Anyone else misreading "cantrip" as "catnip" in baldur's gate 3? no? just me?

[summerofloaf]

Catnip cantrip 🐱🌱

[inky-goddess]

am I the only one who constantly misreads "cantrip" as "catnip"

[deputyash]

Also I keep reading cantrip as catnip lmaoo

[flowers-that-sing]

i keep readimg cantrip as catnip and catnip as cantrip

[magicratfingers]

Ok I have SUCH a cute plan it’s going to be SO fun I am so giddyyyyyy 🐝🐝🐝

[halbereth]

I keep misreading “cantrip” as “catnip.”

Imagine all spellcasters followed by hordes of interested cats....

[overwatchchat]

I’ll never know if he was okay with being called catnip.

[magicratfingers]

We've got two more slots open for the play-by-mail CYOA experiment! 🐝

DM Cantrips 👆to join! I'm closing 'enrollment' tonight

[usa only for now, sorry]

Good evening my little peanuts! I’ll be taking over the blog for a bit

I got a fresh set today✨

[incorrect-ikemen]

Leonardo: Accidentally bought my cat cantrip instead of catnip and now he’s casting eldritch blast at me from the overlook of his cat tree while demanding wet food only.