#car manual websites

[tgtbata]

the rest don't matter

a.k.a. an overly earnest entry for spncarfuckersweek

[beeapocalypse]

AUGHH it would be Possible to add in events / whatever by poking around the code alone but doing so through rpgmaker mv would for sure be infinitely easier. can it go on sale already

[myhsterie]

my little quirk is that if i’m reading something and it has technical inaccuracies - legal or medical especially - i fucking put it down. full stop.

you don’t get ten years in prison for punching two people - in that state, it’s a misdemeanor and you’d get a maximum of 93 days in jail. you can’t diagnose PTSD two weeks after a traumatic event, you have to wait six months and it’s a very specific set of symptoms (that were not demonstrated in the story). that is not how profiles on sugar baby/daddy websites are set up, and there’s a whole set of slang and lingo used in that community in those opening messages. and on and on and so forth.

narrative-related research is a huge part of my job and of my personal writing, so i know that’s just leaking in, but this truly is my biggest pet peeve. i will dive into the darkest corners of the library, archival sources, & the internet to find the truth, and i will find it, because it’s exhilarating and also because i’d like to keep my job. that kind of passion lies at the heart of the craft.

i think to write about something is to love it, and the best kind of love is rooted in truth. to know the full shape of something and still choosing to adore it is more meaningful than any other path you could take. you have to know what the rules are before you break them.

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (3/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: Charles takes you on an adventure, that you won't forget that easily.

Warnings: angst (talks about Charles dad), comfort, google translated French

Word Count: 3.4k

series masterlist

previous part

A/N: part 3! hope you enjoy it! feedback is appreciated!

Sitting on the passenger side of your own car is strange.

It doesn't feel completely wrong, but still, a queasy feeling spreads through you. Like when you lived with your parents. Whenever someone was visiting, your mom had said, "Just sit anywhere," and of course the guests didn't know that you had an unassigned assigned seat. And when they actually sat down in your seat and you couldn't sit in yours, you had the same feeling as you do now at this moment.

After you dressed for the weather, you grabbed your car keys and your camera. If Charles was actually taking you to the most beautiful viewpoint in the country, then maybe you could snap some pictures for your private Instagram account. Your little private photo album. With no followers, no obligations.

Charles car is at his primary residence, according to his statement. Except for a few cars, the underground garage where your car is parked is empty. Your roommate insisted on driving because, first, you don't know where the trip is going and, second, he doesn't want to tell you where to go. Grumpily, you threw him the key and he caught it with a grin. 

Then Charles made himself comfortable in the driver's seat of your old Renault as if it were his birthright. Right hand on the wheel, left elbow on the door and head propped on his hand, he maneuvers you through the streets of Monaco. Black sunglasses sit on his nose and the radio plays a pop song that somehow gets played every time you get in the car. Charles whistles along with the rhythm.

You turn in his direction. "Are you going to tell me where exactly we're going?"

Instead of answering you, he just shakes his head briefly. He runs a hand through his brown hair once, whistling merrily along. 

You roll your eyes and rub your forehead.

Not only did you just get in the car with a stranger - to be fair, it's your car and Charles isn't a stranger (anymore) - but he actually won't tell you where he's going. "Like I said, we're going to the most beautiful view," is all he replies. 

You've looked it up. According to Google, there are about fifteen lookouts. And each of them is supposed to be the "most beautiful view in Monaco," according to the websites. You looked up the locations on Google Maps, but none of them are in the direction you're heading. Maybe he's trying to kill you after all. 

"I haven't driven a real stick shift car in ages." Charles wraps his big hand around the gearshift knob to shift into the next gear. His bracelets slide from his forearm to his wrist as he does so. Without much jerking and very smoothly, you move forward.

You raise an eyebrow. "So you only drive automatic cars?"

Charles shakes his head. "My personal car - the one that's at my other apartment - is an automatic. The company car I drive is manual." His hand moves from the shift knob back to the steering wheel. His long fingers grip the worn, dark leather. 

"So what do you prefer to drive?"

He shrugs. "I like both."

You purse your lips and look out the window. You drive past small boutiques whose clothes you could never afford, and see cars whose insurance per month is sure to exceed your former annual salary. But this is nothing new to you. This is Monaco, after all. "I've never driven an automatic car before."

Charles glances over at you for a moment. "Really?" You shake your head. "It's kind of like riding a bumper car. Two pedals, gas and brake." He has to grin. "But if you ever drive automatic, please don't crash into other road users."

"Haha."

Charles drives the car out of town. The view out the window changes from old houses, whose architecture enchants you every time, to rocks and trees. By now, a quiet song is playing on the radio, Charles has stopped whistling, and somehow you're enjoying sitting here, next to your roommate, who wants to show you new, exciting things. 

It's been ages since you've been introduced to something completely new. 

The brunette turns off the main road onto a path that you would have missed yourself. It's not paved, which is why the car jolts quite a bit as you drive along. Trees and bushes line the path, and it is so narrow that it would be quite difficult if another car were to come towards you. If you were driving, you would have peed your pants for sure.

But not Charles. He drives as if he were driving this route every day. He knows where there are big rocks that he has to drive around to avoid damaging your car - which wouldn't be so dramatic - and also where he has to countersteer to avoid driving over potholes deeper than the Mariana Trench. 

When he stops after a few minutes, he turns off the car. Then he turns to you and takes off his sunglasses. "I know this place looks pretty shady, and I can understand if you don't trust me. But if you get out of here with me now, I promise you, you won't regret it." He pulls the key out of the ignition. "Unfortunately, we can't get any further here by car. That's why we have to continue on foot for a short while. If you want."

You took a leap of faith when you decided to drive here with him. And he didn't try to kill you last night. That's a big plus. And that's why you hold out your hand to him without giving it much thought. "As long as I can have the key."

A smile spreads across his face as he drops it into your hand. "Let's do it, then."

Charles wasn't lying - it's actually not a long walk. You walk side by side in silence, the key held tightly in your hand. There's not a whole lot of sunlight shining down on you through the trees, and you regret not taking a thicker jacket. You didn't expect it to be so cold in the shade. 

And then you arrive. At the most beautiful view in Monaco. 

You're standing on a small hill that can't be seen from the main road. There is a single tree here, which is why the sun can shine relentlessly on you despite the winter, warming the skin on your face. You take a few steps forward, not realizing that Charles is not following you as you take in the view.

From here, from this beautiful spot, you can actually overlook all of Monaco. The houses, the yachts, the luxury for which this country is famous. But you don't only see the typical postcard Monaco. You also see the green of the forests, small blue bays of the Côte d'Azur, which you have never seen - neither in reality nor on the Internet - and the Mediterranean Sea, which stretches out in front of you and whose sound you can hear despite the distance.

You feel Charles next to you, but can't tear your gaze away from the view. "It's..." You can't think of a suitable word to describe what you're looking at. None of the million words, both in English and the few in French, would do it justice.

"I know." His voice rings softly in your ears. "Shall we sit down?"

You settle down near the tree. The meadow is dry - thank goodness - as you sit down cross-legged, facing each other. For a few minutes, you enjoy the view in silence until Charles interrupts.

"My father showed me this spot when I was little." He plucks a few tufts of grass from the ground. "He liked to come down here when the world down there" - with a nod of his head, he points to beautiful Monaco - "got too stressful for him. Or too noisy. Or just too much." He smiles faintly. "With three young sons who liked to mess with each other, I can't blame him."

You watch as he grinds a few blades of grass between his index finger and thumb until they trickle down in small pieces. "Then he's lucky you're all grown up now."

Charles lips pucker into a thin line and he lets the remaining grass fall to the ground. He folds his hands in his lap and looks toward Monaco. Even though he has his sunglasses on, you can see he closes his eyes. He takes a deep breath. "My father died when I was nineteen."

You don't know how to respond. You're glad Charles keeps talking. "Aside from my mother, he was the best and kindest person I know. He saw something good in everyone, even if they didn't deserve it. He..." Charles swallows the lump in his throat. "He always pushed me to be better, but always brought me back down to earth when I took off. He was never disappointed in me, ever."

You have to smile. "Sounds like a wonderful man."

Charles nods. "He was." He looks back down at his hands. "I miss him every day."

It's strange to hear someone talk about their parents like that when your own are the complete opposite. You can't remember your parents ever being proud of you. Their disappointment and criticism were your constant companions, which is why you couldn't wait to finally move out. And you haven't looked back since.

"I like to come here when I'm stuck. When I'm stuck in a situation where I wish I could ask him for advice. Or I'm feeling lonely." A faint smile returned to his face. "I may not get an answer here, but somehow - I don't know - I don't feel quite so alone anymore when I'm here."

You don't know what to say to him. You've known each other for less than twenty-four hours, were at each other's throats yesterday, and yet he's confided something so intangibly private to you, while you've been nothing but skeptical of him. Charles has revealed himself to you, laid bare some of his cards, made himself vulnerable. And he did so without much hesitation.

"You don't have to tell me who called you. Or whatever that person screwed up. But if you need to talk to someone, I'm here for you." He takes the sunglasses off his nose so he can really look at you, and hangs them on the collar of his sweater. The green of the woods behind you is beautiful, but nothing can compete with the green of his eyes. "That's what friends are for, after all."

You have to smile. "Are we?" You point your index finger at the distance between you. "Friends?"

You feel your question is justified. After all, your "friends" dropped you after ... after everything that happened.

Charles shrugs. "If that's what you want. After all, we live together. Of course, I don't want to force you into it, nor could I. You'd sooner smack me with a rolled-up magazine. I just think it's almost impossible for us not to become friends."

He is right. The apartment is not very big and there is no way you could avoid each other. Especially since you don't have any obligations anymore, no job to go to every day. You'll be hanging out at home all the time and you'll definitely spend all your time next to each other, as long as Charles has nothing to do either. 

That you two will become friends is inevitable.

One look at Charles and you'll throw all worries out the window. Charles, who lets you live in his apartment. Charles, who lets you have the bedroom. Charles, who can cook incredibly well. And Charles, who takes you to the most beautiful place, even though it means so much to him. 

He looks at you in surprise as you pull the car key out of your jacket pocket and toss it to him. Surprised, he catches it. "I guess I won't need to lock the bedroom door then, will I?"

Charles grins. "I promise not to kill you while you're sleeping." With his index finger, he makes a cross over where his heart beats in his chest. "I might try it when you're awake, though." He winks at you.

Your grin widens. "Luckily, there are still some magazines lying around at home that I can use to defend myself. Just please don't do it when I'm only wearing a towel. That would be an unfair fight."

Charles laughs. He laughs even though he has just expressed one of his deepest feelings and this place reminds him of someone he loved and lost. Even though he's poured his heart out to you. And yet he's sitting there, cross-legged, in front of you, and he's got his head thrown back and he's laughing so loud you're afraid he can be heard all the way to Monte-Carlo. 

And good heavens - it's the most beautiful sound you've heard in a long time. 

For a moment longer, you enjoy the moment. Despite the call and Charles past, a lightness has spread through you that you haven't felt in ages. The worries have not fallen off your shoulders, but they are no longer so heavy and you would like to thank Charles for that. But as soon as you can open your mouth, he's on his feet in front of you again, looking down at you. 

"I didn't promise you too much, did I?" Confused, you look at him. "I mean, about the view."

You shake your head and stand up as well. Side by side, you gaze down at Monaco. "It's the perfect postcard view."

Charles watches you while you take some photos with your camera. You try to take a good picture from every angle, from every position, and as far as you can tell from the small display, some of the shots don't turn out too badly. When you turn around, Charles is standing right behind you. 

"If you need another model," he puts his hands on his hips, "I'll volunteer."

You laugh. "Absolutely not. Or I'll get a crack in the lens."

He pushes his bottom lip forward and pouts. "Okay, wow. I'm going to take that personally. Then don't." He's about to turn away from you when you manage to grab the sleeve of his sweater. He glances briefly at where your fingers are gripping the fabric, and unsure, you let go. 

"All right. One photo." You raise your camera. Charles tries to get a decent stance, puts his hands in his pockets, then decides against it, crosses his arms in front of his chest, drops them again, runs his hands through his hair. "You'll have to stand in style for me to take a decent picture."

A slight blush creeps onto his cheeks. "What exactly do you want me to do? What would you like?"

You smile at him. "Relax. This isn't a professional shoot, after all." You lower the camera again. "You said you have two brothers. What's the funniest thing you've been through together?"

Charles thinks for a moment and starts to grin. As he tells you about a Christmas when Arthur had been in charge of dessert but unfortunately switched sugar for salt, making the food inedible, you snap a photo of him. His smile is wide, a dimple adorns his cheek, and the wind ruffles his hair. You don't need to snap another. This picture is perfect. 

" ... And then we went to McDonalds in the middle of the night to get ice cream," he finishes his story. He looks up. "Did you take a picture? I didn't even notice!" He stands close to you so he can see the camera's display. His perfume hits your nose. "Oh my God." He takes a step away from you, his grin wide. "I've never looked so good. Can you send this to me?"

The walk to the car takes longer than the walk there, in no small part because you don't really want to leave. You memorize every single step so you can find Monaco's most beautiful view again. 

"Thank you for bringing me here." 

He looks up from his feet and over at you. "I've never brought anyone here before." He smiles gently. "But somehow I felt like you needed this. To be away from it all for once."

"I appreciate that very much. I promise I won't tell anyone about this." You draw a cross with your index finger where your heart beats. Just like he just did. You know how much this place means to him. Never in your life would you bring anyone else here. 

Your car comes into your field of vision. In a moment you would drive back home and everything you successfully repressed until just now would be waiting for you there. But it still can't spoil your mood. Not after the beautiful morning. 

You hear Charles inhale to say something when suddenly his phone rings. Annoyed, he pulls it out of his pocket and looks at the screen before tossing you the car keys. You almost drop them on the floor. "I need to make a quick call." His voice tone is cold, definitely not as warm and mellow as it was just a few minutes ago. "Go ahead and get in the car. I'll be right behind you."

You nod to him and walk the few feet. You catch the beginning of the conversation anyway.

"Nous en avons déjà parlé. Je t'ai dit que je ne rentrerais pas chez moi pour le moment. Non, écoute, je n'ai ni le temps ni les nerfs pour en parler avec toi. Je suis en déplacement en ce moment. Cela ne te concerne pas". coming home – discuss – not your business

You unlock the car and plant yourself in the passenger seat, which, unlike a moment ago, no longer feels too wrong. While you can no longer understand what Charles is saying, judging by his facial expressions and gestures, it's definitely not a pleasant conversation. His face is flushed and he runs his hand through his hair several times before rolling his eyes. 

When his gaze catches yours, you feel caught. As if you're watching him do something private that's none of your business. And for a moment you think that Charles is annoyed, telling you to do something other than watch him. But he just tilts his head and smiles softly before raising a finger in the air with his free hand. His mouth moves and it looks like "One minute" and some French word you can't make out by lip-reading.

You also answer him with a smile and look at the photo on the camera again. It's a little blurry and definitely not your best work, but it was taken from a beautiful moment and is one of your favorite pictures for that alone. 

"Sorry." You barely notice Charles sitting down next to you in the car.

You drop the key into his open hand and look at him with concern. "Are you okay?"

He breathes in and out before putting the key in the ignition and letting the engine rev. He doesn't give you an answer to your question, but starts a new topic. "We're going to see Joris. I'd love to know how he got the idea to rent out the apartment without discussing it first." He doesn't smile, but his voice is no longer so callous. You just nod. 

The situation is tense, and there's nothing you can do to defuse it except sit quietly and let Charles feel his feelings without judging him. You'd like to reach for his hand and squeeze it so he knows he's not alone. But you don't dare. The look on his face when you just touched his sweater-not even Charles per se-and the thought that you might be crossing a line burns into your brain. 

You interlace your fingers in your lap and look out the window.

Of course, you don't notice that Charles' gaze briefly falls on your hands and that he wishes he could take yours in his for a little comfort.

next part

[astronomodome]

What’s Up With Those Title Cards, Anyway: An Analysis

Now that Mumbo’s second episode is out I find myself thinking about these title cards again. And as much as I realize that they’re meant to be a fun nod to previous Hermitcraft seasons and Mumbo’s place in them, the items included and the context of their presence raise a whole lot of questions for me.

First of all, these aren’t blocks, they’re real items. Many of them don’t even have equivalents in the world of Minecraft (or even in Hermitcraft). Think about that. Are the blocky forms that we see on screen mere representations of a larger, more high-resolution world? A world with stickers and stamps and keys? A world where a ticket to Hermitcraft is a physical object you can hold in your hand? This certainly seems to imply so.

What is the context for these items? Where are they? Where are we? The stylistic choice was made to have them sort of resting on a solid-colored background. The selection of items makes me feel as though this is a representation of a desk of some kind, items important enough to Mumbo for him to keep around, lots of paperwork and stuff that you might find in a private office drawer. Which just raises even more questions. How does Mumbo keep these items from season to season? Where are they right now? Do they actually exist at all? (Not to mention smaller timeline questions. When did Mumbo receive the Grumbot message? When was it sent? Does the Grumbot left in Season 7 have a different consciousness than the one in Season 9, which last saw its dads only a month or two ago?)

If you follow the Rendog school of Hermitcraft lore, I guess you could say they’re kept on the Hermetheus along with all the other season-to-season holdovers and souvenirs. But that is one interpretation of many, canon to Rendog but never really canonized on a server-wide scale. Plus… if we take that interpretation in its entirety, how do the items from season 8 even exist, given that their entire world was canonically a simulation?

I also notice the relationship between the real world and the Minecraft world, the distinction between Mumbo the youtuber and Mumbo the block man. The ‘Official Rich List’ certificate mentions a ‘screenshot of a Minecraft chest’, implying that whoever wrote this certificate knows what Minecraft is from an outside perspective and finds Minecraft diamonds to be meaningless as a measure of wealth. And yet the certificate is addressed to one Mumbo K. Jumbo. The middle initial, having its origin in a highly in-character storyline during season 8, makes me feel like it could be more of a character Mumbo thing, but there’s no hard evidence.

How does Mumbo even have a picture of real-life Grian? Is this redstone incident report out-of-universe too? Who is he reporting this damage to, anyway?

And yet these are placed alongside items that are definitely from inside the world of Hermitcraft, if only the more fleshed-out version of it. A key to a mechanical car-horse would be functionless unless it was actually used, in-universe, by Mumbo the character. The ODEA manual was an idea considered but rejected by Mumbo during Season 7 in favor of tutorial videos, but perhaps this would make sense as an alternative for a world where the characters live in their Minecraft world as reality and have no capability to access the ODEA website.

Perhaps, in Mumbo’s view, there is little distinction between what we in the fandom call c!Mumbo and cc!Mumbo. We see both in-universe and out-of-universe items side-by-side, contradictory, because they are interchangeable here.

I doubt we’ll ever get any answers to these questions because obviously Mumbo made these title cards as fun little references instead of serious or purposeful lore, but I still think it’s fun to think about. Neat little worldbuilding details like this are few and far between in most mcyt content so I was foaming at the mouth when I first saw these. Well done Mumbo!

[comfortabletextiles]

I found a wonderful antic sewing machine on eBay marketplace (A Pfaff! My knitting machine is also a Pfaff!!! A sighn!!)

She seems to be in splendid condition and all parts move (said the description) AND she's only 60 bucks AND only 40 min by car!!!

I want her sooooo baaaaaad

I wrote a message, that I'm interested and if I could try her out, but no answer so far 😢

She's listed since 18. August, so maybe she doesn't check her notifications that much anymore, but I'm SUFFERING.

I know I put way to much hope into that one machine, but I want her to work and he mine sooooooooooooo baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad 😭😭😭

It's with the original manual and even some original spare parts and knick nacks :(((((

I even found the website of someone who made blog posts about restoring this Pfaff Model!! So she would be literaly perfect!!!!

AND I found a website where I can look up how old she is with the serial number!!!

Pls pray for me 🥺

[reilliane]

Septem ⊱⊰ Genshin!Various

PART 01 OF 02 [ PART TWO ]

✤ she/her - ✤ words: 8k

✤ An Academy built to hone and prepare gods-to-be and blessed mortals for the world beyond — isn't it a dream come true, when a blank Vision greets you in invitation?

✤ tighnari, al haitham, kaveh, zhongli, albedo, gorou, itto, ayato, xingqiu, childe, dottore, razor, cyno

Septem (VII) Academy, the grandest and most prestigious amongst all learning establishments.

Sitting at the center of the continent of Teyvat and surrounded by seven nations, it isn't merely praised for its grandiose edifice, but as well as its invaluable tutelage.

Only a handful are able to enter such a place; one's entry is advised when their ambition is recognized, and they are given a magical gift; a Vision.

One morning, you expected nothing out of the ordinary. You will wake up from your sleep, prepare yourself for the day, and head out to the cafe to make ends meet. Nothing special to it, you are a simple, magicless civilian trying to get by.

That is, until a flash of silver twinkles at your bedside and there lay, a blank Vision.

Initially, you did not know what to make of it. The morning it appeared, you carried on with your day, baking early to prepare the sweets and other delicacies that will be put on display.

Come eight o'clock, people will start flocking in, from late students rushing to get some bread on the go, to stressed out secretaries attempting to secure their bosses their daily caffeine. The revving of cars won't be heard as much until the clock strikes ten, and so the busy day continues.

You only remember that you received a Vision when you're closing up for the night, gawking at the sight of it on the counter when you remember leaving it at the bedside table.

Why would such a blessed gift appear, when you've little to no—as embarrassing as it is—grand dreams at all?

You grew up with your grandparents, who passed when you were eleven. The money they left behind is more than sufficient enough to cover the expenses until your hairs turn white, and you've been managing it well, secured for emergencies.

Life isn't bleak—but neither is it colorful. It's just there, and you are merely someone traversing past it.

You have a nice, large cafe that's pretty famous in town, so your occupation is practically set for life. But with the arrival of that invitation... well, you can't just throw it out even if you tried, and it'd be a waste of opportunity.

Perhaps it'd give you the additional colors you've been seeking. An extra chapter of adventure in your life. And thus, a decision has been reached.

After securing the bakery with a fellow professional in the field the following morning, you set off towards the single gateway that bridges the nations to the distant Academy.

The Statue of the Seven is located at the city park, a place visited by many. You won't lie and say that you aren't feeling nervous at all. Plenty of eyes lay upon your figure, sparkling in interest as whispers grow louder.

It isn't a normal occurrence to see a student—or well, to-be-student—of the only magical academy, after all.

Vision gripped in one hand, you lay your palm upon the stone foundation of the Statue, unsure of the process of bridging- or is it called teleporting nowadays?

You just got the invitation yesterday and it didn't come with any user manual (obviously)! Not even a thorough search in their website helped, it only contained their schedule of events that includes the general public.

Students are just expected to head over to Septem and that's it! Oh, Celestia, what if it doesn't work? What if you actually needed to do something first? Perhaps you should call their admissions' office-

Hey, why didn't you do that?

Mumbling incoherent things under your breath, you move to substitute the Vision for your phone. At least, that was supposed to be the plan.

Before you are devoured by anxiousness that stems from overthinking and the tons of expectant looks on your person, a chorus of voices ring deep in your mind.

“𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝, 𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬, 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬.”

The world turns white in a blink of an eye—and you are lulled to sleep.

You haven't had such a wonderful slumber all your life until then, it is like you've fallen onto a bed of clouds, cushioning both body and spirit.

Although the quietude of the world is superlative, you can almost hear soft strings that reverberate in harmony.

What breaks you free from sleep's lullaby are hushed whispers and the feeling of your consciousness returning. Drowsiness batted away with a few blinks, you come to wake and acknowledge the growing volume of utterances.

The first thing you notice is that you are floating with a glow that steadily begins to dissolve into gold dust the closer you reach the ground, where five cloaked figures await.

One of them steps forward to guide your descent, holding onto your arms and helping you stabilize yourself in case you wobble.

“No one expected a student to come in the middle of the year, so you missed the entrance ceremony. Nonetheless, welcome.” greets the woman bedecked in vermilion and gold.

An ethereal kind of aura envelops the room the moment she spoke. Silver hair billows around her, floating as they defy gravity, and her eyes bear the shiniest of golds. She sounds stern, but kind.

“Oh,” you quip, “I'm sorry... ?”

A snicker rings from the group of four that stands behind her and you tip your head, attempting to identify the source, but their hoods are pulled down to conceal their visage. Only their lips can be seen, some curled up whilst others are thinned into a line.

She merely lifts her brow, amused. “I am the Sustainer. And fret not, the apology isn't quite necessary, dear.”

You take the moment to observe your surroundings; a vast hall with columns of pews. The light that pores through the stained glass gives the impression that the gathering hall is modeled after the image of an imposing cathedral.

With a glance over your shoulder, you jump, seeing two enormous hand statues splayed open, directed skyward, as though to hold something between them. Is that where you appeared... ?

“Do you have your Vision with you?” surprised, you nod, a little embarrassed that you're this jittery.

The gift presents itself at your open hand, grey and blank, yet to be bestowed of its true power.

Nodding, the woman—Sustainer, as she introduced herself—guides you to step in front of the hand statues and points at the empty space between its palms.

“Let's get you sorted, then.” you lift your hand in offering and the Vision flies out of your hand, moving in between the statues. Rays of light start to coruscate through the large, stained glass behind them, as though being beckoned by the Vision.

The Sustainer glances behind her—towards the four, you presume.

“As unfortunate as it is, our Hearthleaders, or Archons, as you know them by, are incomplete. Three are presently dispatched for executive training, but do not worry,” she gives you a reassuring hum, “If you are ever sorted to their Hearths, then I will summon the Masters.”

You've yet to fully understand the abundance of terminologies the Academy has to offer, but you'll be honest and say that you're getting intrigued by the second.

“Now..”

Maybe going here was a good choice, after all!

“Ad Astra.”

To your astonishment, the rays flashed even brighter, they've become so blinding that you had to close your eyes. Only when it has dimmed to a considerable degree are you able to blink and adjust your sight, feeling an incomprehensible frisson in your chest.

Is this what magic feels like? You ponder in awe as the [c] light of your Vision beats at a steady rhythm, like a heart. It floats back down to your waiting hands.

“Septem Academy welcomes you, [Surname] [Name].”

The Sustainer smiles, golden eyes appearing even warmer than before as she beckons the four behind her to make way down the carpeted center of the gathering hall.

They do as she says, following shortly after you tail along.

“As you have just recently enrolled, the classes may be too advanced, so until you've caught up, you will stay at the Hearth and learn at your pace until it's fit for you to attend class in the campus. I will have the professors know and send in the syllabuses. Of course, you are free to enter the campus library to study if you so wish.”

Down an enclosed corridor that's only lit by torches with seven respective flame colors, you cannot help the wonder that blossoms inside.

Given the technological age, you expected the Academy to be more modern like most universities in Teyvat. Instead, it's rather antiquated in nature (like you're in a fantasy setting!), which is foreseeable, because Septem is in a league of its own.

Eventually, enormous double doors are reached at the end of the hall, opening on their own to reveal a brightly illuminated room.

It is circular and open spaced—a huge gazebo, if you will. In between each marble columns stand seven tall mirrors, each accented and arrayed accordingly.

A moment is needed for you to notice that beyond the place is the celestial body itself, the skies. Rolling clouds complement the azure canvas, touched with a ray of the sun.

You wonder if the eventide will be just as majestic.

“Now, unveil your Vision.”

A sense of nervousness and excitement causes your fingers to tremble in the slightest, unwrapping from the Vision that now thrums with life. The glow of white dies down, eventually marking out a detailed insignia that has your eyes widening.

The Sustainer lifts her hand, and with a voice that commands the heavens, announces.

“Ab intra—”

— Kaveh/Tighnari/Alhaitham

“Hearth Dendro!”

Flower petals bloom from nonexistence, falling as a gentle shower that commemorates the arrival of another student blessed with wisdom—governed by curio.

One petal lands on your palm and you gasp in awe. It is soft, probably the softest petal you've ever touched. It is as soft as the voice that comes to greet you next, a little girl whose viridescent eyes glimmer with content and mayhap even a sliver of excitement.

Though young, she exudes an aura of someone who has lived far longer than you have.

The Sustainer vanishes into red cubes, and the rest of the cloaked figures disappear through their respective mirrors after a bode of farewell and welcome.

“Hello,” the lone figure peels her hood away and gives a warm smile, “I'm Hearthleader Buer. I'm glad to have you with me.”

It's impossible not to smile in return.

“Same here! I'm a little nervous, but I hope I'll do fine.”

“That is normal,” she nods and begins to float off the ground to meet your level, “Every flower starts as a seed. You will grow and bloom eventually, so do not worry too much!”

It takes you everything not to coo at the adorable sight, aware that she is much, much older than you. Not to mention, she is an Archon, so even if she displays a really amicable atmosphere, you're extra chary not to overstep your boundaries and be disrespectful.

Nahida begins to move, floating towards the right. “We'll go to the hearth now. We don't have as much students as other hearths do, but it's still a lovely place.”

“I'm sure I will enjoy it,” you say as the two of you leave the gathering hall.

She leads you to a mirror accented with vines and flowers. The surface of the mirror swirls upon her touch. She smiles at you, hand extending out.

Wordlessly, you take her hand, and enter the mirror.

Hearth Dendro's dorm is beautiful and bright. Their own portal is behind a canopy of vines, so when you weave past them, the hearth greets you in all its splendor. White marble, lush green hues, and draping leaves adorn the enormous place. It's almost like living in a glasshouse.

Flowers with glowing pistils coil around banisters and ceilings, serving as a gentle light source for when night falls. It even has a grand botanical garden with a gazebo at its center!

The students of Hearth Dendro on the other hand, are... definitely driven. They all have their own sorts of objectives and are surprisingly not one for much chatter — save for a sweet girl named Collei, Hearthleader Buer herself, and this craftsman known as Kaveh.

They all seem rather busy, which apparently is an understatement, because they're almost never not busy. You later realize that they are inarguably the most studious students in Septum, specializing in all kinds of research. Still, they manage to give you a warm welcome in the garden.

When you ask them about the other Hearths, they appear less than eager to introduce those of Hydro's... you wonder why.

Although their schedules are packed full 'till the weekends, they always spare one special day in honor of your Archon, who they often refer to as Hearthleader Kusanali. It's a wonderful celebration, something akin to a birthday ceremony, and it's the best time to converse with your hearthmates out in the gardens.

“Hey, hey come take a look at this—isn't it wonderful? This will be built one day, so for now, it's a miniature version- Don't knock it off-!”

Kaveh is... unique, in the dorms. While the rest are definitely more mellow, he's a bit more unreserved. His gears are constantly being ground, more so when he's in the same room as Alhaitham.

He is just as eager and studious as they are, however, and that shows itself in the display of miniature structures he has in his room.

One can count on him to be less uptight, though he's not afraid to be strict when the situation calls for it—ah, and he's anonymously tasked with bringing entertainment onto the table, and boy does he do it well. Does it have something to do with his snark?

He is the first to greet you, actually, and takes up the responsibility of helping you through your studies to catch up—which would've seen full merit if he wasn't jesting, going off on a tangent each second, and shoving his phone in your face.

When he puts his mind to it, however, he can be a good tutor! Unfortunately, with him, you learn more about hearsay than actual lessons, so a different student decided to help you out.

“What do you think you're doing? That's clearly poisonous! Which hearth do you belong to, you lost lummox- oh, you're the new student.”

Tighnari is one of the best tutors there is, as far as you have experienced. Alhaitham sometimes gives off an almost condescending aura, and Kaveh teases you first before actually teaching anything.

Tighnari has a surprising amount of patience for someone who can be so sassy. You first met him not during your official welcome, but when you enter a greenhouse to peruse and study mushrooms out of curiosity.

Before you can even think of touching one, a hand has slapped yours, followed by a 'tut-tut!' and an unimpressed look from the student himself.

He acts like a brother figure slash mentor to sweet Collei. The first few times she excuses herself to hang out with you, he gives you the sternest and most threatening look ever! One that said, 'put yourselves in danger, and you're cleaning all our rooms'.

It wouldn't have been so bad if you know that everyone's room might as well rival a professor's messy office desk.

Under his austere personality, however, is a kind, understanding man. When you fell asleep in the library late in the night, studying, he carried you back to the hearth along with your reading materials.

If he's particularly busy himself, then he'd sit at the side with a steaming cup of tea prepared for you to drink the moment you wake up. His sense of responsibility has numerously led him to staying up late with you in an attempt to drill all the knowledge in your head.

Oftentimes, Alhaitham, the Master—the Archon's righthand—, just as busy, will join the late night studying.

“Haven't you already gone over this material? Oh, right, you've just enrolled... then, this isn't too complicated for you, is it?”

He can be such a pompous person and for what!? Nahida assures you that he isn't, though, and says that it's merely his way to drill in some well-needed vigor in you to be better. And you're bummed, because it's working. You can mumble stuff about him all you want but he'll still manage to hear you over his headset.

Admittedly, Alhaitham's expectant hums and stares are what led you to pull all-nighters. You're used to it for you've baked some nights away, but you may have forgotten the stress of being a student and not a baker. You often have to keep your emotions in check whenever speaking with him, all because of his blunt tongue.

One second, he can be scrutinizing your 'recklessness' for staying up late and you'd be resigned, then the next, he'll either be giving away a passing comment about your lack of sleep or forcing you to head back to the hearth. His concern—that he somehow masks as 'stating nothing but facts'—is sufficient enough to surprise you.

'What good will this do if you're half-asleep tomorrow?' he'll chide, but will grow quiet if he sees you nodding off. You'll wake up next morning with a study guide on your tabletop. Offering him your thanks will only a yield a nonchalant shrug, followed with a, 'Don't count on it next time'.

That was a lie. He still ended up giving study guides.

Your days in Hearth Dendro are certainly a bit taxing, but with it comes the comfort that your hearthmates are a single call away. For as driven as they are in their scholarly work, they are just as driven to lend a helping hand whenever it is so needed.

When there is nothing to do, everyone will lounge at the garden or the greenhouse, where stories are shared. You'd think that they won't have anything to share other than the contents of their thesis, but they can be surprisingly talkative about other things, too!

... And those 'other' things are gossip about other Hearths.

Kaveh argues that it's actually 'information', and both Nahida and Collei sound pretty engrossed each time, so you learn to go along with it.

Besides, who says it isn't amusing? As long as it doesn't involve you, of course. But with your recent enrollment, it cannot be helped that you are the talk of the town.

“This is the fourth time I try to enter our Hearth only to see another student attempting to go inside with the objective of seeing [Name]! It isn't a problem, but she's still learning at her pace here, she'll eventually go in the campus, why can't they be patient?” “Kaveh, keep your voice down. Perhaps if you weren't advertising her so much every time and posting unsolicited pictures, then they wouldn't be as inquisitive as they are now.” “Phah! At least I act like we have a new member, unlike someone who doesn't even seem to care. How rude of you to [Name]! And for the record, I do have permission!” “I applaud your ability to say such things when she's sitting right beside you.” “Hehe! Well, [Name]'s gotten pretty famous overnight for her sudden appearance. I'd say their interest is well-placed, don't you think so, Tighnari?” “Yes, Collei.. Also, this 'intruder' seems to be that hot-blooded doofus. Can it truly be-?” “Ah, the one from Hearth Geo with the faux horns, correct? He can be quite the determined one, that's for sure.” “Certainly, Hearthleader. Well, him and a few others... oh! Would you care for some sweets?”

— Zhongli/Itto/Gorou/Albedo

“Hearth Geo!”

Flaxen dust bursts from nonexistence, falling as a gentle shower that commemorates the arrival of another student blessed with fortitude—governed by order.

It reminds you of fairy dust, revitalizing your energy the second it falls upon your person. You feel refreshed, nervousness disappearing with a single exhale.

The Sustainer vanishes into red cubes, and the rest of the cloaked figures disappear through their respective mirrors after a bode of farewell and welcome.

The one left behind saunters with a delicate tug of the cloak's hood, unveiling eyes as gold as the dust that have now decorated the floor. They're mesmerizing to look at.

“Greetings, I am Hearthleader Morax, though you may simply refer to me by my other name, Zhongli. It is nice to meet you.”

Ah, his voice. It's the second thing that catches you off-guard. Wow, that's heavenly.

It's a little embarrassing to admit that you lagged behind in your response in favor of being bedazzled by the fine Archon before you, but he doesn't seem to mind at all.

“It's nice to meet you, too, Hearthleader!” that might've come off as too enthusiastic...

But he only chuckles, gesturing towards a crystalline-looking mirror dipped in gold. “Well then, let us be off. The others await your arrival.”

A floating abode. Hearth Geo's dorm is an abode in a floating abode, does that make sense? You're speechless when you first stepped down from the crystalline cave, which is their portal.

It's extravagant, but not over the top. Bedecked in auburn, gold, and silver, the whole hearth almost appears festive, with a hint of class. Zhongli explains that this complementing style comes from two refined ladies, Ningguang and Yunjin.

Draperies and banners line the walls, like a coat of arms. They aren't overly flamboyant either, well, save for that one statue of a dragon by the floating rock next to the main island.

Overall, it's a cozy looking place! If you stare longer at the conflagrant sky, you'd begin to think that it's in an eternal state of sunset, but it does dip into the evening; a time when levitating crystals of all sizes will start to glow.

Zhongli speaks highly of his hearthmates, often pitching in a good chuckle when he recounts an amusing shenanigan of theirs. They all sound so accommodating that you cannot help but be eager to see them.

Hearthleader wasn't lying when he said that they are waiting, gathered in the common room and more than ecstatic to welcome you with open arms—one man takes this literally. There is little time to react and absolutely zero time to register that you are being spun around.

“I can't believe we got another one! We're getting biiiiig! Hi there, freshblood, I'm the one and oni, oni sumo king, pride of oni, beetle gladiator-”

Arataki Itto, who scoops you into his arms and gives a heavy slap to your poor back. He means no harm, but you still stumbled at it, almost being floored if not for the calm blond man who catches you without batting an eye, as if used to it.

His usage of 'freshblood' is strange if not alarming, though you find out that it's just his way of referring to new people and to honor his ancestors. He's actually a noble guy who can't stand any kinds of prejudice. Meaning, he's got your back twenty-four-seven! He proudly declares that his strength isn't just for show! (Like a vigilante, though he ends up causing most of the trouble)

Itto is loud and some kind of a doofus, but he means well! ... If only his academics are just as well. He volunteered to tutor you, actually—and everyone but an amused Zhongli are shaking their heads behind him to signify that you should decline. Well, you didn't, what could go wrong?

Surprise, surprise, everything did. It's a wonder how he got to his current year, but you won't ask, no, you don't have the courage to anymore... so you can just listen to him lament about the 'brutes' in Hearth Electro as his attention deviates for the third time.

Itto invites you to this group chat called the Arataki Gang, filled with his friends and one mediator from the Hearth he's pouting about earlier. Buckle up for a loud time, he's bound to invite you along in his 'underground battles' which really is just for a beetle fight.

“Oh, hey! Is something the matter? Did you want to check out the place? I can show you around, no big deal! Let me just secure my equipment real quick.”

Sweet Gorou, your savior who saw you on the verge of passing out after getting back your results. Sweet, sweet Gorou who offered a tour around the humongous dorm to take your mind off of things, and because you still get lost in the halls.

He's adept with the heavy compound bow (guns, too!) and you often see him in a section of the dorm, particularly the archery range, honing his skills to perfection. He seems incapable of letting loose, always keeping a stern visage on, but with a few nudges and shoves he can be quite easygoing, too.

It's cute that he attempts to hold onto earnestness, though. You find out that it's because of his future as a General after he completes his studies, which is a story for another time, he assures it! Now, just- set your phone aside and let him teach you already!

Wakes up before everyone else and takes up the role of being everyone's alarm if they're sleeping in. With Noelle, the two of them are the greatest pair when it comes to keeping things in topnotch condition. There is no escaping his keen eye and sharp nose.

It's unnerving how he almost knows what you need at the right moment; ah, you're hiding from Itto? Hide there! Do you need to pick up the modules and guides from your professor? No biggie, he got 'em right here! Did you just say you want to unwind? Well, there's always video games available in the game room, he can be your player two!

“... I wondered who it was that's walking around the dorm at this hour in the night. You can't sleep, you say? Mm, if you wish, you can join me. Others say that being idle while with me makes them drowsy.”

You don't know what Albedo means, but that sounded.. sad. People get sleepy around him? How awful, he means nice, doesn't he? You should go and see for yourself! ... And oh, how correct those 'other people' are.

Albedo may be taciturn, but he does not evade giving answers when asked. Most of the time, he's either in the laboratory or the parlor, tinkering with chemicals or drawing in his sketchbook.

Again, you didn't know what he truly meant by 'people being drowsy around him' until you actually took him up on his offer at the famed witching hour; three in the morning. Merely sitting from afar and watching him work around the lab whilst delineating his process is more than enough for you to doze off.

It can be his soothing voice coupled with the clinks of lab equipment and the sounds of his laptop's pressed keys, either way, it's safe to say that whenever you can't sleep, you seek him out—and he has no problems whatsoever! You always wake up with a blanket and a horrible stiff neck, but the nearby beverage and his pleasant 'good morning' does not fail to lighten your day. That is, if you can ignore Gorou's horrified sermons about lack of sleep in the background.

There are times when you genuinely help him, though, because goodness he's incredibly smart. Your grades have been pulled out of the gutter because of him and you couldn't be more grateful. Ah, and he's- actually an exchange student!? He's from Aurum College? Wait, isn't that from Khaenri'ah?

“How are you faring? If you need any guidance with your classes, do not hesitate to approach any of us. Oh? You've nothing to do? Then, how about some osmanthus wine?”

Geo's Hearthleader, you did not expect him to be such a good listener and storyteller, what with the austere expression on his face all the time. You thought that, as someone who governs with order, he'd be a stickler for the rules, but he isn't!

He's pretty laidback, it almost seems like Ningguang—the Master—is holding most of the reigns. His affable attitude, however, is not an excuse for anyone to deviate from the rules. Itto has broken a pretty important one once and Zhongli's silent fumes are unable to be dissipated in weeks, or so Yunjin said.

Knowledgeable in nearly all fields, it once struck you as strange that he's yet to fully 'graduate'. You don't know how Archons' educations go, but you do know that it's important for every incarnation of theirs to undergo a certain number of years in Septem before fully embodying their role in their respective nations and replacing their predecessors.

It goes without saying that everyone in the Hearth looks up to him, always going for well-needed advice or sometimes to even just get a decent story. His mind is rich with history and knowledge, so no one minds at all when he starts speaking and doesn't stop until the sun has risen. It's the Hearth's take on a 'movie marathon', though it's more of a story than a movie.

There's no guarantee that everyone's still awake after he is finished—maybe except for you and Albedo, who may have gotten used to staying up late. Zhongli isn't content with the derailed sleeping schedule, but you both listened so well, how can he ever begin a scolding session?

Zhongli holds a special ceremony for everyone in the dorm to attend, one akin to a birthday party, called Descension. Only it celebrates the inauguration of the hearth itself from many, many years ago.

From Yunjin's performances to Itto's challenges, despite everyone's clear disparity in personalities, it is a day where Hearth Geo becomes more united than ever.

“That was an amazing performance, Yunjin... ! I've got goosebumps all over my skin!” “Oh, thank you! I had someone help me with the song, I wanted the best for today's Descension. I see that Hearthleader is just as pleased, it makes me happy.” “A performance as splendid as that deserves only praise. Indeed, it was wonderful.” “Hm... and the feast is excellent. Noelle has outdone herself again, say, come here, why don't you rest for a bit? Let Gorou and Itto be with their endeavors.” “If the Master deems it fit, then I shall gladly accept! Come, [Name], I want to taste the sweets you baked, too!” “Haaaah!? [Name] baked something and I didn't get first taste?! Ridiculous! Gimme, gimme that now-!” “Running down the stage like that won't bode well for you, Itto, calm yourself... though the excitement is understandable, it won't be good if you rush.” “Albedo is right, calm down- hey, look out for that-! Everyone get away, he's gonna crash!” “THAT CROISSANT IS MINE- WOAH!” CRASH! “...” “... How are the contingency funds for Itto's mishaps, Ningguang?”

— Ayato/Xingqiu/Childe/'Dottore'

“Hearth Hydro!”

Raindrops descend from nonexistence, falling as a gentle shower that commemorates the arrival of another student blessed with bourne—governed by excellence.

Surprisingly, they did not dampen your clothes, for they scatter into myriads of blue dust upon touch. Still, there lies a sensation akin to having resurfaced from a calm ocean.

The Sustainer later vanishes into red cubes after assuring that the corresponding Master has been summoned, and the rest of the cloaked figures disappear through their respective mirrors after a bode of farewell and welcome.

Maybe only at least half a minute has passed until the mirror to your left, one of silver and blue—it reminds you of the pretty stained glass in the hall a while ago—ripples, and out comes a man with a fixed smile.

He's handsome, though you can't help but be on edge. Are you overthinking things, or does something else enshroud that smile of his?

“A lovely afternoon, is it not? I am Kamisato Ayato, Master of Hearth Hydro. Will you give me the honor of welcoming you to our palace?”

Apprehension? Scrutiny, maybe?

You cannot be too sure, but he does seem kind, so you try not to over analyze. For all you know, it can just be the nervousness from before beginning to take over again.

Another thing that you pick up on, other than his ambiguous smile, is his air of elegance. You cannot see anything amiss, as though he embodies the word perfection itself. It's rather intimidating, for if he is like this, then what of your other hearthmates?

If his special power is mind reading, you'd like to shut down, because he's chuckling into his white sleeve that's free from creases. “Do not be so agitated, my lady, your Vision has sorted you well.”

Goodness heavens above, you hope he doesn't notice the pink of your cheeks!

“Shall we be off?”

Not relying on your voice to respond, you only take his arm that he raises for you to link your own with, and head into the mirror.

When he said that bit about welcoming you to the palace, you didn't expect it to be literal! Emerging from a swirl of blue portal located beyond an extravagant arch, you take in the sight of Hearth Hydro's dorm- if one can even call it that. This elegant monstrosity before you, is a palace. A mix of old and modern.

It isn't overly big and exaggerated, but it still is huge. The second you step in, water avatars of all forms can be seen, from jellyfishes to water clones. You would've ogled at the entire infrastructure if not for the Master tugging you along to the parlor.

Unsurprisingly, with a dorm as giant as the palaces in storybooks, it does not come as a surprise that it is able to cater to the personal whims of everyone that occupied it.

Other than the rooms one can be naturally found in a castle, there are training barracks, laboratories, and—is that an observatory at the top? It feels like going back in time. The only touch of modern tech such as televisions and other appliances is at a different side in the palace.

Under the eyes of your hearthmates, whose gazes zero in towards you upon the suspenseful entrance led by yours truly, you start to feel incredibly small. It doesn't need to be verbalized; how all of them emanate this air of majesty. (Save for that one gingerhead).

Fear not, however, for though nothing but excellence seems to exude off of their miens, they are far from being the cavalier students you feared they'd be. Some, most of the time.

“Comrade! Wanna get out of this stuffy palace? I haven't been to Liyue lately, would you want to- Huh? Haha! How? We sneak out, of course!”

Childe may be the 'black sheep' of the Hearth what with his torpor towards the axiomatic courtliness of his hearthmates—he practically is their opposite, brash and always seeking some form of chaos instead of grace—but he has his serious moments every now and then.

He spends most of the time at the training grounds, very rarely joining the others in their fancy tea time, not like they mind. The palace will definitely be much gloomier if he's not around, though, so they still invite him regardless of whether he attends it or not.

Septem Academy, much like any other schools, hosts competitions and events for the students—and Childe is the Hearth's savior, winning things left and right especially if it has something to do with combat. He thrives in it.

You find out that he gets along with almost everyone, though you aren't sure if it's genuine... but he's amicable, so is that really a problem? As long as he doesn't stab you in the back or anything, then there's nothing to raise your eyebrow at.

The number of times he has dragged you to sneak out of the palace to shirk duties—the Master never fails to punish both of you when he finds out—can no longer be counted. You said you'd regret it, but Childe is someone who knows how to enjoy life for what it is, so you still end up joining him in his made escapees. You even end up taking him to your cafe and he loves it!

“Careful, my lady, you wouldn't want to fall down those steps now, would you? Here, let me help you carry those to the library. Mm? Don't worry, I was headed there myself, anyway.”

Ah, another frequent escapee. Xingqiu upholds noble etiquette much like the rest, but astonishingly has his own side of mischief. You did not believe it at first when Childe said that he's pulled pranks with Xingqiu as his partner in crime... until you caught the latter in the act.

He has a way with words, too! He's the one responsible for swaying you to join Childe in your top secret mission to sneak out of the Hearth and the Academy (gate passes aren't allowed during exams week), covering for both your lives and sometimes joining in on the fun. Barbara caught the three of you one time and was torn between snitching or not. She didn't. Yelan did.

A sweet gentleman, but is efficient with the sword, as well. Other than his love for swordplay, you've caught his nose buried in books most of the time in the palace library.

It has become customary for the two of you to arrive at the library in the afternoon, just after lunch, to either read a good book or study. Of course, that includes dozing off together, be it all over the table or the plush loveseats by the fireplace.

You two will not wake up in time for supper—the cozy library might as well be a gigantic bedroom—so it is up to Mona to do the honors and take you away from dreamland. If they leave you be, you'll wake up at around eight. From then on you'd both either skip dinner or resume reading, eating a bunch of snacks that are available in the nearby pantry.

“If I have intimidated you in any way, it wasn't my intention to. To requite for it... oh, Septem will host an Overture Ball for the three Hearthleaders' return. May you accompany me as my partner?”

Ayato has a sound reason for his actions, apparently. Being the Head of a renowned family that's targeted one too many times, the need to ascertain and scrutinize strangers comes as second nature. He's like a cryptic prince, observant and shrewd.

Aside from that trait of his, he can be solicitous. He acts mostly for the benefit of many but is not afraid to throw in some risks, which makes him great and, at the same time, someone to be wary of. No one will want to be in his bad side... really, don't test his patience...

You're in his good graces, though, much like everyone else—so as long as you do not stray, you are guaranteed a wonderful stay at Septem Academy. He has connections, after all, and he's not afraid to use them! He also has an endearing sister that he tells you of, she belongs in Hearth Cryo.

With his finesse and early experience, it's no wonder that he ended up being the Master, too, so he's extra bus juggling responsibilities and academics at the same time. Not to mention, the duty of being Head of his own family.

His busy life thus keeps him away from most of your hearthmates unless the day calls for the usual tea time. You've taken it upon yourself to knock at his study and accompany him. He once even helped you with the subjects you're lagging on behind! From then, he sorta begins to expect you around him. He likes the company!

With the way he acts, if not for the Hydro Vision at his waist, you would've thought he belonged in Hearth Dendro. An opinion that made him squint at you very discreetly...

“. . .”

You aren't a hundred percent certain about it, but there might be another hearthmember who hasn't shown nor introduced himself. A passing blur of blue and white, that's what you see turning the corners at night.

When you asked Yelan about it, she says that even they are unsure about which hearth that student is officially affiliated with—and that's not even the student, but a 'copy'.

Childe has a lot to say on the matter, though, saying that the 'real person' is on leave, and the clone left behind merely liked to roam about this particular dorm.

'Dottore' is the code name, other than that, everything is enclosed in obscurity.... you wonder when you'll get to see him for yourself.

No one also said it outright, but you deduce that they're probably in some kind of rivalry with Hearth Dendro. You believe it pertains to your hearthmates' ability to keep up with them in terms of excellence... or perhaps it's a case of student's pride?

You've only seen students from that hearth a couple of times, but two men in it just clash with Ayato, Childe, and that one student on leave. It doesn't help that your hearthmates have this subtle air of smugness that they downplay... as if aiming to provoke in a passive manner.

And worse, their rivals are just as smug, if not prideful.

Nothing too harmful, though! At least, you hope... it's a good thing Barbara, Kokomi, Mona, and Candace are sweet mediators. (Yelan and Xingqiu seems to enjoy the little feud, though).

“Alhaitham sure knows how to press buttons, hm? He's twice as overbearing today and it's only because I lost an argument! Heh, can't say I'm not challenged, though.” “Who wouldn't feel triumphant if he's won against a renowned Harbinger? If you are just as invested in academics as you are in your combat skills, perhaps we could've won ourselves.” “Now, now, Master, comrade. You saved the latter half of the debate! I say we stood our ground well! Oh- this tea is actually tastes good!” “It sounds so exciting to be in the same class as you three! I wish I could've seen it for myself..” “Don't we have a free day tomorrow, Kokomi? We can sit in and watch their second debate with [Name]. We can even do a little cheer!” “I wish to join as well, I've no qualms that it'd be more interesting than taking up politics for the fourth time in a week... ah, my lady, here are the sugarcubes.” “Thank you. But isn't tomorrow's attendance for your class a requirement, Xingqiu?” “Ho! Lady Yelan, No such rule dictates that I've to stay for the entire class.” “And that is your excuse for cutting class? I see.” “I think you disappointed Candace, comrade.”

— Razor/Cyno

“Hearth Electro!”

Lightning and thunder roars from nonexistence, deafening with its echo that commemorates the arrival of another student blessed with ideals—governed by volition.

Its unexpected boom prompts you to jump, heart lurching along in shock and a bit of fear. Wow, that took your breath away... but right now, was that lightning violet? It's such a pretty color.

The Sustainer vanishes into red cubes, and the rest of the cloaked figures disappear through their respective mirrors after a bode of farewell and welcome.

The figure left behind is swift to introduce herself, pretty eyes and braided hair of violet unveiled. From the looks of it, she's strict, but her voice has a gentle lilt to it that quells your nerves.

“Greetings, [Name]. I'm Hearthleader Beelzebul. I noticed that you were caught off-guard by the thunder, are you by any chance, afraid of them?”

Oh no, was she disappointed? It's not like you're that afraid or anything!

Flustered, you shake your head, clarifying your surprise in earnest. “Oh, no, no! It just caught me off-guard, I wasn't expecting to hear it so suddenly when the weather isn't stormy at all.”

“Ah,” she has a pretty smile, “I'm relieved. As your Hearthleader, I wish only the best for you and your journey into mastering Electro.”

The heels of her shoes click against the floor, stopping only when she reaches a gilded mirror whose surface wheels into an abyssal portal of deep violets. A magical sight, like one of a fairytale's.

“The Hearth may bewilder you for a moment, but I've no doubt that you will get accustomed to how things are without difficulty.” she lets you step inside first and immediately, you are overwhelmed by a sense of catharsis—like the insecurities and fears rooted deep within have let go.

You are brought back to reality when a steady hand holds onto you, followed by a hearty laugh.

“That always happens to newcomers! It never gets old, does it, Hearthleader?”

It doesn't even seem to be remotely possible, but Septem Academy is a place of magic, so anything can be possible—and that includes the fact that you are on a flying warship, the portal, that is sailing through the clouds.

Hearth Electro might as well be a fairytale of its own, for it changes forms once a month, morphing into an image of the reality that each Hearthmember envisions.

The huge ship, to your amazement, already includes all sorts of rooms and necessities one would find in a more 'normal' dorm. As Beidou explained, 'sailing through the clouds' is basically the Hearth reshaping itself to fit the next image of reality, which ends up being a floating abode in the likeness of the buildings in the nation of Inazuma.

Everyone is more than willing to tell you the array of realities their mindblowing Hearth has to offer; from castles to even a temple-like dorm, it's thus normal to opine that Hearth Electro is one of a kind. All hearthmembers get a turn, so you can only wait in the coming months, thinking about how your envisioned reality will be shaped.

The Hearth's maverick kind of subsistence had a lot to do with the members that belong to it. All are vastly different from one another, united only by a singularity; the drive to embody their ideals. It might also be because you learned that they're all 'misfits' in their own ways, but you can't be the judge of that.

Hearthleader Beelzebul says that it is beyond convoluted to comprehend the nature of each element and what unites everyone blessed by it, so it's better to just let it be.

“For your help! Thank you. Means... a lot, to Razor. To Hearth, and to Lupical.”

Initially, when you met Razor, you thought that he's sort of aloof, unwilling to converse with anyone unless he finds it necessary. Turns out that he's just a little bashful and isn't much of a talker—it does not mean that he's unfriendly at all!

Lisa did the honors of introducing him to you and things went smoothly afterwards. Razor is a little weak on language-centered subjects, but fares well at the rest, more so at classes that recites the need for hunting and tracking down things. You do not know too much, but they say it's more of a specialized course that you can get into once you catch up to academics.

He likes to be in the kitchen if not in his room or outside, always making those cute hashbrowns in the shape of a paw. You didn't take him to be one who does well in culinary things (did he just mix whole pinecones in that!?) but that one dish he served—that made everyone nervous at first—actually tasted like heaven.

Apparently, before becoming a student, he was an orphan who tended to himself alongside a pack of wolves. It seemed impossible for this is a modern world! But then you recall that Hearth Electro quite literally is an oddity itself, so you don't question it. Besides, it's rude...

Razor gets along with everyone, more so with some of the students in Hearth Pyro. Whenever you're free from studies, you offer to cook or bake with him in the kitchen. It's always so endearing to whip something up with someone, after all.

Cyno, on the other hand... is intimidating... and he looks like he's choosing what kind of judgement to befall upon you when your eyes first met! Although Yae looked on in amusement at your fear and Sara assured that you shouldn't be wary of him, you can't help but grow even more anxious.

It has come to the point that you only managed to utter his name and go completely silent when he comes in the room, turning as white as paper and feeling as though you've committed a cardinal sin.

So imagine your utter bafflement when one night, as you are about to sleep, a knock came upon the door—and Cyno is there. The staring is only cut off when he spoke, and it's-

“What holds both days and students? Septem(ber). Because September is a month and Septem is the name of the Academy.”

Heavens above how could he say that with a straight face, was that a joke? That was a joke, wasn't it- you're about to laugh, wait- are you allowed to laugh!?

In the end, you couldn't help but burst out laughing, unable to tell whether it's because of his ability to look serious, or because of the joke itself. He looks surprised, but then all he does is blink, say good night, and saunter away as if he hasn't just dropped a joke that made Beidou guffaw next door.

It was easier being around Cyno afterwards. He isn't half bad at all—that is, as long as you do not break any of the Academy's rules or any of the Hearth's—you can't believe that all it took was an unusual 'confrontation' from the student himself.

Whenever Keqing and Kuki aren't around to help you understand a particularly complicated subject, he swings by to teach you—good heavens, he's smart as he is cunning. You end up dozing off whenever he does help, though... his voice is pleasant to listen to...

That is, if he's not speaking like he's going to condemn you for even having 'the audacity to nod off'! Because of this, he just sends you a link to his online study guides, and you both share!

Despite his sangfroid, however, there are times when he simply asks you to tell him if his newly constructed jokes are funny enough. If you told your past self that you'd end up being Cyno's 'joke evaluator', you would've laughed.

Being able to sit down and just talk with your hearthmates is more complicated than you imagined, and it's because of everyone's varying personalities. To work around this, your Hearthleader—or Ei, as Miko refers to—issues a duty upon everyone.

Each month, a student whose reality is currently the one shaped by the Hearth is responsible for hosting an event in which everyone will participate. There aren't any restrictions, so it can be tea parties, movie marathons, and even trips outside the Academy.

Fischl elaborately informs you that Hearth Electro prides itself in its 'get-togethers' solely because of the fact that the activities are different each time at the end of the month. You heard that they've gone to visit a literal ruins one time and got trapped in it for a week!

“Hearthleader, you're in charge of this month's get-together, aren't you? Do you have any plans?” “Yes, Keqing. I've thought of some things, but I'm unsure as to what will be preferred by most. Indulge me, everyone, how does attending a sweets buffet sound to you?” “My, Ei, aren't you just taking advantage of this event to satisfy your sweet tooth?” “Haha! Well I expected nothing less. Even if I would've liked some more active things to do, I sure don't mind sitting down and just taking a breather for once. Manning the wheel does take a lot outta me.” “Likewise. I'm not suited for idle matters, but as it is Hearthleader's choice, I respect it.” “Razor... same as Cyno and Beidou's reason.” “Fret not you cuties, actually, I was tasked by Ei to go fetch a gate pass for us all and I did see some sort of itinerary when I dropped it off in her room. And her laptop was open to some tourist spots. Right, Sara?” “Indeed. Other than a sweets buffet, I believe that Hearthleader has plenty of other things in mind.” “You're right about that. I checked the mora on hand and it does seem like we have more plans than eating cake.” “Hoho! The kind graces of our Hearthleader is most worthy of praise, surely, there is more to a sweet pinnacle of this month's celebration. I do wonder what awaits us all come the conclusion of the month to come! Kuki, how is our new outlander faring, will she be able to come?” “[Name] did really good, actually. She caught up well, I've no reason to believe that she'll be left behind to keep studying when she aced her exams.” “Wonderful. Then, after the sweets buffet, we shall explore the historical Chasm, or if you all prefer otherworldly locations, then Enkanomiya is also a destination.” “Haha, that's a good joke, Hearthleader!” “... But I'm not joking.”

A lot can happen in the span of five years.

Your life at Septem Academy may have just begun, but with the way things kicked off at a great start, you're relieved to say that maybe the adventure really is just beginning, as well.

Ah, but before all that, perhaps you first need to catch up on learning how to utilize your newfound [element].

a/n: i begin my notes by saying that the interpretation of each hearth/element's blessings, (aka solidity/valor/widsom/etcetc) are my personal take! hoyo doesn't confirm anything after all :')

also this was long! so i only added four hearths. now, septem i say has five years of schooling, with the fifth year being some kind of 'mastery' year in which the whole focus is on their vision. and the professors.. wELL i won't go into detail, but they're going to be those from Celestia, because again, Celestia is good here jahdkashdsa

everyone is human, only archons are, well, archons! for adjustments, however, there aren't any characters under 18, and no one above 23 either (except for archons lmao?? also, didn't include klee/diona and other child characters here)

hm, and i'll end my long long ramble here lmao, can't get it too long! part two will include the rest of the hearths!

@cherryflushz @e7t3 @scarlet-halos @lordbugs @nebulaera @annoying-and-upset @hanniejji @applepi1415 @tjjjrsj @azirajane @hey-comrade-hold-stil @limelightsuperhero @chloeloe @loptido @windyventi @nejibot @ganyuqrt @justrinnn @yasunamilk @alana5021 @coco-goat-milk @mininji @koi-chairowo

[pastadoughie]

Hey creature I’m going into 10th grade any advice?

im gonna be real, ive been dropped out for a while, so i cant give much school specific advice but ill try to give some

khan academy is free and it is your friend, use it if youre having any trouble, witch i did when i was struggling alot with math, i still ended up failing but the tutorials were genuinely really helpful, and having a video, that i can pause and rewind and replay helped me alot

if you have any kind of neurodivergence, like adhd or autism you should get a 504, (you should ask your parents) this makes the school have to give you certain accomadations, like test and assignment extentions, lecture reccordings (sometimes) and tutoring (sometimes)

thats all i can give advice for highschool, but as for more general things

GET A DRIVERS LISCENSE GETONE GET ONE GET ONE

if you live in america (witch im gonna be real im just gonna assume you are, because thats where i am and im not super knowlageable on other countries) YOU NEEEEEED ONE LIKE REAL BAD. at 15 and 6 months you can start getting a learners permit, this is your first step

now, theres gonna be a state website with a manual on how to drive, i live in arizona, so for me the site is adot, but if you google your state and "driving manual" im sure itll come up theres gonna be a big manual, and youre gonna wanna read all of it, this will tell you all the basic stuff, you need to study this because youre gonna take a written test, you need to pass this in order to get a learners permit

a learners permit basically lets you drive, as long as theres some other person with a drivers lisence in the passengers seat to make sure you dont fuck up anything, after you complete this test, you need to complete a certain ammount of hours of driving (with someone else present) before youre able to apply for a full drivers liscense

at 16 you can start getting jobs witch you will like pretty much need a car to get, because public transport in america is so shitty its pretty much required unless you wanna wake up at like 4 am so you can get ready and take your bus route that takes 2 hours (when with a car it would be like, less then half the time)

i cant give advice on jobs yet, because ive been postponed a bit in getting my drivers liscense and to start applying for jobs because im waiting for my name change to process. but, i do have experience in doing commisions, (commision me btw) witch i could do a seperate post on giving advice because i feel alot more knowlageable on that topic, and i have a good way of getting commisions and i was getting a bunch even before i had any sort of following

my general advice is that being an adult is scary and alot to keep track of, and your life will be alot better if you start working on things now. instead of waiting untill youre already an adult. especially if your family sucks (like mine) and you wanna move out at 18

if i got anything wrong or you have any advice for anon (i tried my best but yaknow, only 16) please comment !!

[jjeremysstash]

looking at the model x manual and...

like y'all

if you have any understanding about driving a car, you should read it because it's a shit show like I'm not even a quarter in and nothing's is right in there

if they coded their cars the same way they coded their website, everyone owning a tesla is more than definitely fucked

[iwakuraz]

hello can i ask you about your ocs? your art of them is so cool, i’d love to know more about them

:0 YES!!!! THANK U SM thats so nice of you!!! going on a rant under the cut hehe. hope u do not mind that super bad at explaining so its all just me saying random stuff ajshdj. sorry about that

SO STARTING WITH THESE TWO

the one with buns is called rue and shes an oc I've had since like 2020 ,, shes kinda rude and mean but shes also pretty gay w/ the other character next to her. I think I'm gonna call the other girl paige? but I haven't reallyyyy decided on a name yet! one thing about me is that I'm pretty bad at naming characters. I named her after this one old art website I used as a kid though, the website was called 'paigeeworld'. dunno how many people remember paigeeworld but I do. and paige is def the kinda person to go on art websites like paigeeworld and deviantart. so thats why I'm thinking of using that name. also I named rue after the flower rue

I have a story for them vaguely planned out in my head but I need to flesh it out more. I have the ending planned out but uh. the other parts of the story? yeah. I only have those vaguely decided. they're pretty fucked up tho and .yeah . they make eachother worse probably.

rues birthday is 18th august, paiges birthday is 6th of june. these dates do mean something! paiges birthday is the same day that paigeeworld originally announced their closure (I think?) but rues birthday is something a bit more personal 2 me. their story isn't really connected with any of my other ocs, they're sorta just chilling. I started making a fun silly comic thing with them a bit ago but have barely gotten anything done with that cause school. :[

in my head, paige sorta reminds me of the stummy book song 'we all fall down'. thats why I gave her a cup. bc haha get it...... we're all just drinking out of cups waiting for the day when we can't get enough,,, I think her character item is gonna be a cup. always has a cup of like milkshake or something. yum I love milkshake. a song that I associate with rue is 'please tell me mr wonder' by siinamota. and rues character items is her plush of a bear and a bunny! her plushies are alive btw and talk to her sometimes. but I should probably draw her with her plushies more because right now I only have a slightly old animation of her with them. blehhh

there is another oc who is relevant to these two, her name is rini. but I haven't done a proper drawing of her in a while,, I have a drawing of her from 2022 and I am not showing that. rini is in the same class as paige and rue tho. shes the class representative

next here is dot. shes the mascot of my neocities site but I like her quite a lot :] shes a pretty big nerd I think. nerd bunny. her main source of literature consumption is reading old instruction manuals on how to use windows 98.

OKAY NOW TALKIGN ABOUT VIN MY FRIEND VIN!!!! definitely the oc I've posted about the most. full name is vincent but you can call him vin for short, or vinny for medium. I named him after the car seat headrest song vincent. his favourite food is salt packets (the type you get in restaurants) and his favourite beverage is vinegar. VINegar. I like him a Lot and hes basicallyyy my fursona :3 hes a lonely sad teenage cat and I love him so much!!! he doesn't talk a lot, but I think he communicates through likee his tamagotchi or something. again this is another character I have a story planned out for vaguely but I should flesh him out a lot more. I think right now I'm more just using him to represent myself. just know he is very very special to me -w-

AND. do u see the cat on the left. I think I will name them pepper. they're meant to contrast with vin, I think they're rlly energetic and fun and yeah!!!! :3c <- basically they are that emoticon! been trying to think of a name for pepper forever. I'm thinking maybe the name pepper will work. like yeah sure. I don't think they'd enjoy spicy food so they wouldn't like peppers. thats why I think pepper is the perfect name for them. peppers favourite food is probably dip dab? or whatever those things are called? yknow those weird lollipops you can get that come in a packet full of these weird powder thing and you're meant to dip the lolly into the powder? thats what pepper would eat

this is (tama)rini!!!! tamarini. basically the bunny version of the rini oc I mentioned earlier and then said nothing about! they collect tamagotchis and are very very very normal about tamagotchi. she looks sorta similar to dot, but thats not intentional. I just like the colour purple and I also like bunnies.

there are SOME others but these are my favourite ocs right now. holds them in my hands and shakes them.

[rhodophoria]

thank you for tagging me @covfefeships !! finally got around to finishing this lol

Do you make your bed? kind of? i pull the sheets up but it's not perfectly pressed and put together

Favorite number? don't really have one!

What’s your job? in between serious careers atm but on the side i'm doing data entry and managing websites

If you could go back to school would you? ehhh maybe a loooong time in the future, if i absolutely needed the certification for something

Can you parallel park? not well lmao

Do you think aliens are real? sure. gotta be something somewhere.

Can you drive a manual car? nope, never tried!

What’s your guilty pleasure? cheddar and sour cream chips. i fucking love that shit but they give me awful acid reflux so i try to stay away

Tattoos? not yet. am still pondering designs

Favorite color? either an oxblood red or dark, electric purple

Favorite types of music? i'm all over the place, but i mostly listen to alternative r&b, rock, and electronic/synthpop.

Do you like puzzles? i guess? depends on how you define puzzles. i really like word searches and stuff like sudoku

Any phobias? bugs, but specifically ones that fly and/or bite. the buzzing noise freaks me out. i've had really bad experiences w/ getting swarmed and chewed up lol

Favorite childhood sport? probably a tie between swimming and softball. i think i enjoyed softball the most though.

Do you talk to yourself? not a lot, actually. if i do it's all internal and never out loud.

What movies do you adore? all of my favorites are always adventure/action, and usually either sci-fi or fantasy

Coffee or tea? both! coffee in the mornings, tea in the afternoon/evenings.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? doctor maybe? or something similar. i used to be fascinated with medical shows/surgery documentaries when i was like 4-5 lmao

i'll taggggg @vii-naught and anyone else who'd like to share!

[cambriancrew]

What is Young Wizards, is it anything like The Aepects by L C Mawson at all????

(And if it isn't that's even more of an excuse to Tell Us About Young Wizards!! Win-win!!!)

AHHH YES. We could talk about Young Wizards literally for hours.

So. It's, in a nutshell, a series by @/dduane Diane Duane, about teenagers who get the ability to use magic, which is enacted primarily by use of the wizardly language The Speech, in exchange for using it to fight the Lone Power who created death and entropy. The main wizard characters are Nita Callahan, a nerdy bookworm with an affinity for plants; her best friend Kit Rodriguez, who has an affinity for mechanical things; and Nita's little sister Dairine, who is a geek whose Wizards manual is a walking laptop. The books are incredibly inventive, with places in them like an alternate universe Manhattan where cars and other vehicles are alive; multiple distant planets, each with amazing aliens; the bottom of the ocean; Ireland where the myths really are true; a Mars where people's ideas of Mars from various forms of media including War of the Worlds and Marvin the Martian from Looney Tunes are present.

They're also beautifully diverse and life affirming. The Senior Advisory wizards are a gay couple. Kit is Hispanic. One major side character is black and autistic. There's other various queer characters. The series deals with serious topics like bullying, cancer, death and loss. But there's a throughthread of determination and hope.

Also, supportive adults! Parents who really care about their kids and support their wizardry! Family dynamics that are actually really good! (Most of the time. Nita and Dairine have their moments lol.)

And then there's the Oath. It's so wonderful, we patterned our Code of Conduct partly on it. There's many different versions, but the one we love the most is as follows:

In Life's name and for Life's sake, I assert that I will employ the Art which is Its gift in Life's service alone, rejecting all other usages. I will guard growth and ease pain. I will fight to preserve that which grows and lives well in its own way. Nor will I change any creature unless its growth or life or that of the system of which it is a part are threatened, or threaten another.

To these ends, in the practice of my Art, I will ever put aside fear for courage, and death for life, when it is right to do so, looking always to the Heart of Time where all our sundered times are one and all our myriad worlds lie whole in That from which they preceeded.

Also an art version of the Oath:

I can't seem to find the original creator of the art, it was someone on Tumblr but Tumblr search isn't helping, as usual.

We want two tattoos based on this series. One would be Wizard's Knot plus the first little part of the Oath, "In Life's name and for Life's sake". The other would be the traditional greeting of the Lone Power: "Fairest and Fallen, greetings and defiance." Probably would have that one surrounding the semicolon for depression survival, as suicidality is our personal battle with this universe's version of the Lone Power.

They're also super cheap to get as ebooks through the author's own website, as long as you're not in the UK due to Brexit.

We cannot recommend this series highly enough. If you do end up buying the series and reading it, let us know! We'd love to hear what you think. :)

[he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle]

Get to Know Me Tag

Tagged by the feisty @lurkingshan, thanks Shan!

Do you make your bed?

Kinda. After my divorce, I bought lovely new bedding and happily made my bed every morning for like a year. Then I got lazy. I sorta half-ass it, where I fluff my pillows and pull up sheets and straighten the blankets and bed spread, but it's not photo-worthy or anything.

What’s your favorite number?

3. I like triads and trinities. In fact, I named my first dog Trinity. And I had three children!

What is your job?

I’m an author. I have 4 non-fiction books published under my given name and 15 fiction books published under a pseudonym. Many of my books were best sellers. Despite this fact, it is not enough to pay the bills. So I supplement my income with speaking engagements, teaching classes, and running a handful of websites, one of which is a wholesale distribution platform for artisanal imported foods. Basically, I'm self-employed and keep myself busy doing anything that interests me.

If you could go back to school, would you?

No. While I love learning and don't mind taking the occasional class to be introduced to a cool skill (like making stained glass!), I absolutely refuse to do any more higher education than I already have. I was sorta super nerdy at school because of an eidetic memory, so I collected degrees in Biblical Studies, Philosophy, Greek, Linguistics, and Russian Literature before I finally realized I didn't want to be a perpetual student.

Can you parallel park?

Nope. I learned how to do it to get my Driver's License over 30 years ago and have literally never had to use the skill since.

A job you had that would surprise people?

Hmmm. My job-jobs were all pre-children so people are surprised when they find out I ever had any since my last one was decades ago. But I didn't just have a few, I had a LOT of jobs because I finished school early and had to pay for my entire university education myself because of poor parents, and I think that's the most surprising thing. I was a waitress (14-16), a shop clerk (16-18), an acquisitions librarian's assistant (18-19), a bank teller (20), a digital librarian for a major software development company (20-21), a language tutor (18-21), an adjunct professor (22-24), a houseparent in a boy's home (24), and a cog in the county tax assessor's office (24-26). I also volunteered as a translator for Doctor's Without Borders and as a suicide prevention counselor for LGBTQ youth. At 26, I had my first child and became self-employed.

Do you think aliens are real?

Possibly, but I struggle to believe humans have ever interacted with any.

Can you drive a manual car?

Yes!

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Cop shows. I agree ACAB, but I love love LOVE the testosterone-fueled fantasy world of shows like Hawaii Five 0.

Tattoos?

None. I didn't want any at first because all the tattoos I'd seen on old people didn't age well thanks to saggy skin, wrinkles, etc. Now I kinda wish I'd had at least one.

Favorite color?

Dark azure.

Favorite type of music?

I LOVE IT ALL. If you live long enough, you discover awesome music in every genre. Like, I thought I hated heavy metal, but then I discovered the album Pale Communion by Opeth a decade ago and loved literally every single song!

Do you like puzzles?

Yes, but I don't make the time to do them.

Any phobias?

Heights. Absolutely terrifying.

Favorite childhood sport?

Cross country! I ran on my varsity team in HS and continued it through college.

Do you talk to yourself?

No. I am so quiet. On the weeks I don't have custody of my kids, I have sometimes had weeks where I work exclusively from home and don't interact with another human person beyond text messages and emails. When I finally speak out loud for the first time in days, the sound of my voice is jarring and unfamiliar.

What movies do you adore?

About Time. The Royal Tenenbaums. Shawshank Redemption.

Coffee or tea?

Coffee! I used to be more of a snob about it, but I recently fell in love with Korean instant coffees and THEY ARE SO GOOD. HOLY SHIZNITS.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

A teacher in a foreign country.

I haven't been keeping track of who tagged who, so I'd like to tag @absolutebl @juneviews @twig-tea @sorry-bonebag @stefanyd @waitmyturtles @disaster-j @cooloddball @spicyvampire and @norahastuff If you'd like to play and I didn't tag you, please do!! Be sure to tag me so I can read your post.

[things-about-cars-in-posts]

So, there's many of you now. I know we're in the How Sweet It Is Not To Know Follower Counts website and I do cherish that, but still, more people than ever in my life clicked a button that in some capacity says "I care what this dork has to tell me" and I want to acknowledge and celebrate that - especially now that this growth seems to have settled into its rhythm.

Spot when @identifying-cars-in-posts reblogged my pinned, lol.

So, for my 100th post, I felt like celebrating our love for reaching round numbers. And little in the automotive world represents it more iconically than what reigned supreme above all cars in the 1980s.

Porsche started out as an engineering firm, whose most notable contract was what would become known as the Volkswagen Beetle (and boy what a story that is). The first car of its own was the 356 seen below - a sporty body laid over Beetle underpinnings and thus still mostly made by Volkswagen. But by God, they were going to run with that recipe and perfect it 'til the sun burst.

Meanwhile, in England, a chap called Colin Chapman decides the next of his company's track cars will actually be drivable on the street, to need no trailer to go race. Thus the Lotus Seven is born and sold in kit, which avoids high taxes on the exporting of cars to the US (but those taxes would have remained had they been sold with assembly manuals… so they were sold with disassembly manuals for you to read backwards. No, seriously.).

The Porsche 356 kept getting less and less Volkswagen and more and more Porsche until in 1964, the year of the Beatles, the year of the Stones, the stone-age Beetle was left behind for good with the Porsche 911 (seen below), a blank-canvas take on the same recipe of an air-cooled rear boxer engine powering the rear wheels of a squished-Beetle-shaped sportscar. 'Twas good.

In 1973, Lotus was doing pretty well for itself. The Seven's whole 2500 sales had carried it through producing a number of other models, and a few were even in production concurrently - a lineup! Exciting stuff! Well, that and an F1 team so successful its Wikipedia page features the section "Domination in the 60s and '70s". The exciting opportunity to move upmarket, with bigger models with AC and automatics and all that bougie shit, pushed them to move away from the image of scruffy old kit car makers, ceding the Seven's production to the last two dealers that sold it, main one being Caterham Cars.

The 911 headed into the 80s old enough to drive, and Porsche's plans considered it at the end of the line, with staff already mourning it. But then the yankee at his third week as CEO saw those plans (which to Germans are basically scripture), said "to hell with that" and extended that line off the chart. Literally. He went to the lead engineer's office and physically took a marker at a development chart. They all secretly liked that.

Still, it was clear the game was changing - intercoolers, all wheel drive, active suspension... how hard could the 911 layout go if it didn't stick to its simple air-cooled roots? Well, Porsche resolved to find out by filling it with the cusp of automotive advancements and then some. And I do mean filling - a chassis that didn't even need space for a radiator was suddenly tasked with storing it, two turbos, two intercoolers, and a good half dozen oil pumps.

Yeah good luck with that, buddy. Oh, and materials? The body was kevlar, the frame was aluminium, the floor was Nomex (ever even heard of Nomex???), the wheels were magnesium and the spokes were hollow!!!! You could blow into the spokes!!! And don't get me started on the technology! Variable height, an all-wheel-drive system that distributed torque at will, electronics galore... As you may be able to guess, development was… complex.

At one point a test driver was doing 180km/h (112mph) to go get the car un-on-fire-d, and that's just one of the plenty horror stories. Hell, work started in 1983 to create a car for Group B and took so long that when said rally series died in 1986, production was just starting. Not that development would stop at the start of production, either - the first cars just got updated when the owners took them in for their service. (Can't blame them, I fix wording in weeks-old posts...) But however long it took, the resulting Porsche 959 answered the originating question "How hard can this chassis go?" with a resounding "Hard and then some".

It was comfortable and refined enough to be driven every day, but so capable it extended the limits of the concept of production car. Put it this way: it reached car people's favorite round number, 100km/h (to yankee doodles, 60mph) in 3.6 seconds. The second fastest production car did so in 4.6. That's one second of margin in a race that ends in five. Oh, and if you want to put it another way: the 959 was the first production car to ever surpass 300km/h, let alone come 1 shy of the mythical 200mph (322km/h).

Meanwhile, the handful of chaps at Caterham was still producing the Caterham Seven. It's the Lotus Seven (specifically the third revision, from 1968), but I guess in '83 the engine changed. We were saying?

They couldn't sell the 959 stateside for lack of crash test data, and America's ban on importing foreign cars under 25 years of age had no exception. That is, until Bill Gates wanted a 959 so bad he spent 13 years getting an exception passed. That's how hot this car is.

And yet, this record-breaking, boundary-pushing, master-of-all-trades hypercar sits atop the 80s automotive landscape engulfed in shadow. But how? Why? Because it failed to contend with the greatest automotive headache: humans. It was planted, practical, reliable, predictable - docile, domesticated, amicable. Perfect. But these are not meant to be cars, they're meant to be posters. And you don't get posters of what is perfect, but of what excites you. And what excites us is the visceral, the raw, the uncompromising - the wild, the feral, the dangerous. And, of course, reaching round numbers. What excites us is a lot more like the first production car to break 200mph, the Ferrari F40.

Remember how the 959 was being developed for Group B racing and then the series died? Well, Ferrari got screwed over too, with the 288 GTO Evoluzione they were developing (seen here to the right of the base 288 GTO) suddenly having no reason to be.

The lead engineer then asked Enzo Ferrari to let him turn that weekend project (literally, they couldn't spend work week time on it) into a road car to celebrate their 40 years. Enzo, nearing the end of his days, thought "Ah, what the hell, let's leave with a bang", so they set off to build what would become the anti-959. Not anti as in response, but as in antithesis. Where the 959 was an attempt to modernize the noisy, unrefined, old-school 911 -to make a supercar "tested for everyday usability to the most strenuous standards", by Porsche's words- the F40 was a reaction to, per Ferrari's words, "customers saying Ferraris were becoming too plush and comfortable": "nothing but sheer performance. Not a laboratory for the future, as the 959 is. Not Star Wars."

To exemplify: left is the 959 - note the leather and electric seats, right is the F40, note the string you open the door with.

The F40 was noisy, crashy, torrid, and the turbo lag painstakingly smoothed out in the 959 here kicked you in the back like a locked door. It would rip your head off the moment it sensed you didn't know what you were doing. But it was more exciting - to look at, to hear, to drive. And that's what won people over - including the buyers, which were near four times as many as Porsche's despite the price tag being double.

Had the 959 lost then? Well, not quite. Enter the 959 S. Doing away with much of the 959's luxuries, like adjustable suspension, electric windows, AC, central locking, and even backsea- wait, the 959 had BACKSEATS???? Holy FUCK why does no one talk about that??? Take the family on a trip to 300kphville! I was saying. They schlapped some bigger turbos on too and power went from 444hp right past the F40's 470hp to a healthy 508, that propelled it over what any roadgoing F40 ever managed at 211mph, or 339km/h. Presumably for bragging rights.

And I want to stress, these were titans clashing here. This was leagues beyond what other production cars could even comprehend. Again, the 959 hit 100km/h in 3.6 seconds. The F40 held a record by taking less than 16 seconds to go from 0 to 160km/h(100mph) and back to 0. This was witnessing superhumans fighting through the clouds.

And then in 1992, the two chaps that 'developed' Caterhams (i.e. banged new ones together in the shed) told the chap they worked for "Hey, let's make one that's really barebones and fast", rang up their ol' mate (and ex-F1 racer) Jonathan Palmer to ask to lend a hand, and bought some of the 250hp engine that powered the Vauxhall (British for Opel) Cavalier GSi in the British Touring Car Championship.

Thus, the Caterham Seven Jonathan Palmer Evolution - a raw, uncomfortable, uncompromising beast that went fast as all fuck. Now, if you don't know Sevens you may think "Ah, so just like the F40, what with its handcrank windows and the string to open the doorlatch and all". And to illustrate how far off that is: in the Seven the windows were sown on and you latched the door yourself with a button.

And that's the standard version which had windows and doors. The JPE didn't.

The JPE had a carbon tub you were meant to call a seat, the controls, a rev counter and a tach that didn't even bother with speed under 30mph, and fuck you. And this one is not even as barebones as it gets: this one is painted.

So while the F40 went from 1,250kg (2760lb) to 1370kg (3020lb) when adjusted to comply with US regulations and the 959 went from 1450kg (3200lb) to the lightweight S version's 1350kg (2975lb), the Seven JPE weighed 1170. As in 1170lb. 530kg. Read that again if you need to, but it had about half the power of those two and considerably less than half the car to move. And so, in January 1993, this thing -this '50s coffin with a Vauxhall engine banged together by one guy in a shed- took the Guinness World Record for fastest car to 100km/h with a time of 3.46 seconds - and the 0-160km/h-0 record with 13.1 seconds. Close your eyes and picture that.

Yet the Seven JPE is hardly known to anyone but the most hardcore of enthusiasts, and owned by barely four dozens of 'em. So did it, perhaps, ultimately lose? Not at all. In fact, none of these cars did.

Every 959 cost Porsche twice what they sold it for, but the project proved the 911's layout could stand the test of time, and its development gave Porsche technologies it gradually infused into the 911 keeping it relevant, competitive, and most importantly alive to this day.

And I think we can safely say that when Enzo Ferrari died in 1988, a year after the F40's launch, his wish to leave with a bang was perfectly fulfilled - so much so that the F40 is commonly regarded as the peak of his legacy.

And the JPE was simply the greatest Seven ever - the most raw, thrilling, pure automotive experience the streets had ever witnessed. If driving a fast car was like biking down a hill, the Seven JPE was skydiving. Hell, it was the cover car of éX-Driver, an anime about a team using old-school sportscars to rescue haywire autonomous vehicles!

Not that culturally relevant but MAN was it cool as a kid. I need to hang those damn posters one of these days. I was saying.

These are three success stories in three radically different ways. Because, as much as I've made this post all about the numbers, sometimes it's not about that. Sometimes it's about making a show, leaving a mark, being spectacular. Sometimes it's about pushing yourself to achievements you can take pride and inspiration from. Sometimes it's simply about having fun seeing just how far you can really go. Sometimes it's about deciding what you want to be and make a new favorite version of yourself, that is the best it can be at what you care the most about. And for some that may result in less popularity or success or impact or legacy than others, but those are just some of the things you can work towards. It can be okay to just work towards having a blast. Hell, those madmen at Caterham used to stay after work to build themselves track cars, race them the next day and put ‘em back in the workshop after racing them, and the company survived to this day. Because, yes, they're still around - and their new lineup topper gets to 100 in 2.8. Windshield still optional. Well, at least there's headrests now. And a wider version, for the concrete possibility that you physically don't fit.

Never change, Caterham, because you certainly never have.

Links in blue are posts of mine explaining the words in question - if you liked this post, you might like those!

[thatswhatsushesaid]

get 2 know me meme

tagged by @cryptidafter 🫡

tagging: whoever feels like doing this, but also @watertightvines @ratheralark @needsmoreresearch @chaos0pikachu @skalidris @thepurplewombat @evilhasnever

Do you make your bed?

yep! not like super neatly or whatever but it gets remade every morning to prevent the cats from causing problems.

What’s your favorite number?

seven--just like prev! dunno why exactly, i just vibe with it.

What is your job?

i'm an overworked government bureaucrat, which maybe explains why i think jin guangyao should get to murder whomever he wants.

If you could go back to school, would you?

nooooope. i've got my masters and that is more than enough for me. i've actually told my husband that if i start making any serious noises about going back to school, he has my permission to yell at me.

Can you parallel park?

y... yes. in that once i am parked, i am sure that my car is parallel to something, somewhere.

A job you had that would surprise people?

i'm genuinely not sure any of my day jobs are that exciting lol. uhhh i designed and administered sharepoint online websites for a major canadian university for a while and hated every second of it despite making bank while i did it. god i hate sharepoint so much.

Do you think aliens are real?

i think it's way more unlikely that we're totally alone in the universe.

Can you drive a manual car?

nope, never learned how to drive stick shift unfortunately.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

i'm not sure i feel guilty about it exactly but i do enjoy rewatching gilmore girls while very high.

Tattoos?

just the one, which will be a week old as of tomorrow 👀 it's a stylized rendering of the solar eclipse! my husband and the man of honour at our wedding also got matching tattoos, so it's a very sentimental tattoo for me.

Favorite color?

i'm a jewel tones kind of bitch, so deep forest green, burgundy, etc,

Favorite type of music?

i like a little bit of everything tbh but i mostly listen to grunge and bluegrass.

Do you like puzzles?

no 😤 they stress me out lol

Any phobias?

several, and broadcasting what they are on a public platform like this while knowing i have at least two hatefollowers sounds like a very bad idea.

Favorite childhood sport?

horse-riding! i also took dance and played soccer but riding horses was the most fun. also the cheapest since i just went down to our neighbour's farm and rode her horses lol

Do you talk to yourself?

oh yes.

What movies do you adore?

god, okay, this is hard: the LOTR extended editions, the OG star wars trilogy, OG jurassic park, saved!, batman: the dark knight, captain america: the winter soldier, inception, sunshine, 1408, knives out, parasite, leon the professional, anything directed by hayao miyazaki, anything directed by guillermo del toro (except for the shape of water, which i can't watch because of the scene with the cat)--i'm sure i'm forgetting something.

Coffee or tea?

can't start my day without a cup of tea 👍

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

i wanted to be a veterinarian! but i also wanted to be an astronaut just as badly because i figured even aliens probably have pets, and someone has to look after them.

[wilteddreamsofbaldursgate]

✨Unsolicited Lore Dump✨

I was tagged by dear @herdarkestnightelegance —you asked, you shall receive. Here's some Emi Lore Dump.

Do you make your bed? No. I sleep with a million blankets, two of them weighed, and I'm not wrestling with that shit every morning for the illusion of having my life together.

Favorite number? None in particular, but I can't stand even numbers.

What’s your job? I'm a BA student but I'm also having every joy and happiness squeezed from my body working in retail hell and doing boring website writing gigs on the side.

If you could go back to school would you? School like HS? Yes and no. It were easier times then and I miss seeing my friends daily, but I don't want to be 16 again. Higher education like university? Also yes and no. I can't wait to finish my BA but I am considering doing my MA because you kinda need three thousand and one degrees in this kinda economy. So, yes, I could and probably will.

Can you parallel park? Yes. I'm living in a big city and the first free parking spot you see is the parking spot you wanna have. My car looks accordingly, though.

Do you think aliens are real? Like life outside of planet Earth? Absolutely, yes.

Can you drive a manual car? Yes, they're quite common where I live and it forces me to stay focused while driving.

What’s your guilty pleasure? I'm trying to not feel guilty about any of my pleasures, as I let shame hold me back for way too long.

Tattoos? No. I never really felt the need to have one and I wouldn't know/couldn't decide what to get in the first place. Also my dream is to go to Japan and soak in onsen for a week straight and tattoos are kinda taboo there, especially in the more traditional ones.

Favorite color? Jade/sage green and sapphire blue.

Favorite types of music? Anything that makes the brain go brrr.

Do you like puzzles? No, and I never have. I just don't have the patience for them.

Any phobias? My biggest fear in life is being stuck in unhappy/toxic relationships and being dependent on other people.

Favorite childhood sport? I've never been a huge fan of sports because I detest sweating, so I found myself enjoying swimming. Though I was always better at diving than actual swimming lol

Do you talk to yourself? Yes.

What movies do you adore? I really like epic/adventure movies like LOTR, Pirates of the Caribbean, Labyrinth etc.

Coffee or tea? Tea all the way. Don't enjoy the taste of coffee and it makes me sleepy, so what's the point. I get my caffeine kicks from strong çay and one brand of Northern German black tea and that's it. I also enjoy good matcha, green tea infused with osmanthus or jasmine and fancy oolong tea.

First thing you wanted to be growing up? A writer. And a witch.