#carrick: threads
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for @dearxeden ;; continued from HERE
As they were closer now he could see an air of her not being from here, he could be wrong obviously, besides he'd only lived in town for a few years now but she looked like she was above people in this town, not in a bad way, just an accomplished woman. "Well, if it's a battery problem I can't do nothing about it. And for the overheat you just have to let it cool." Carrick tsked. Looking over the bed of his truck he checked if he had some rope to at least pull the woman's car with his but they had no luck. "I am, yeah, got a bar downtown, I was heading there right now. I don't have anything to pull your car but you can come with me and we'll get a tow and we're not that far so it's pretty safe if you it stays here for a while." He motioned to the car.
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"Thought you might want a nice place instead of a loud, sticky bar." Carrick offered; she was also still recovering, maybe clear from regular appointments but her body still needed time to heal fully and get her energy back so a comfortable chair was preferable over a stiff stool or a patched up booth. More important, Pembe deserved fancy. At her question about clothes, Carrick chuckled. "I think I still got a nice shirt and trousers somewhere. Maybe even a suit jacket if that's what you want." He teased before moving his finger to brush over his cheek where it glowed pink. "You look beautiful in any clothes, though." He stated.
"Pasta, eh, I think I know a good place. If you wait a couple of days I promise you'll try the best pasta. And next time I can cook some for you, too, no more hospital diet." Carrick opened the door for her, a bit out of habit he build over this time looking after Pembe. "Anyway, are you sure you'll be okay? I'll be at bar so if you need help I can come back."
There was a time, when they had first met and Pembe was still learning the color of Carrick's voice, that she wouldn't have heard him smiling when he spoke. Now she knew many of the shades of his now-familiar voice. Smiling was rare and beautiful, though not as infrequent as it had been when they first met. Pem could hardly wrap her head around the fact that maybe she was part of the reason he was smiling. Nevertheless, she was only smiling more. "Reservations? That's very fancy... a fancy Friday sounds nice. If I'm going to get dressed up for you, then will you dress up for me, too?" She blushed a little at the prospect, though it delighted her to think about him seeing her in something other than t-shirts, sweatpants, and very loose sleep dresses.
"If I had to pick, I mean I don't know places around town because I don't get out much, but I would pick a place with pasta. I never get it at home because I'm always scared I'm going to mess up boiling the water." It always felt safer to have something delivered or to eat food that required baking without poisoning her. Even when she wanted chicken, she was too paranoid about the meat thermometer and touch/sound process and always bought a cooked roast chicken to take apart at home. "God, I'm just going to be thinking about pasta now for days." Pem laughed and shook her head, a little embarrassed.
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wanted 2 go back to episode 1 to try n find a line i was thinking ab, however as soon as i started episode 1 i was like. oh my god. the themes & motifs havebeen here all along... since the first 20 minutes of the fucking show... & got too fucking head in hands about it 2 do anything. shug. i figure if it's a line important enough that i remember it & it's been echoed at least once already it'll come back up.
#incredibly good show... i've figured out what the feeling is. it's like watching someone who's very good at what they do tie a carrick bend#mat or spin a very fine even thread or throw a perfect vase on the wheel.#the satisfaction of watching someone confidently and carefully build something very fucking cool.....#ten year late black sails lb
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fig. 4. blood in eyes (wipe it off for me) | Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Reader



MASTERLIST · AO3
There’s someone in the building that messes with his head in a way that it shouldn’t be messed with.
or: the forced mating omegaverse au
tags: Size Difference, Size Kink, Omegaverse, Explicit Sexual Content, AFAB Reader, Stalking, Kidnapping, Heavy Noncon/Dubcon Elements
Too late for it to be of any use to him, Simon learns patience.
Patience in accepting things for what they are instead of resisting fate’s chokehold; in walking with the current instead of swimming against it.
It doesn’t come easy. He remembers being a milktooth child, quiet and sullen before puberty swallowed him up and spat him back out; his demeanour just off-putting enough to keep him from ever making close friends. Father a constant and dreaded figure in his life, a malignant growth ever close to metastasizing. Flesh like a bruised peach, busted lip telling a story that no one seemed capable of acknowledging or reading.
There was no such thing as patience back in those days. Just a constant rushing forward, grappling at the threads of adulthood like they might become a rope strong enough to pull him out. When they didn’t, he learned to tie them himself to strengthen the length of rope—learned every knot in the book, in fact, bowling, clove hitch, carrick bend, hangman’s—anything of use.
That was a long time ago though.
These days, he is something different. Something old-boned and asperous. Every morning, he again becomes a man like a poor choice of words. Darkness greets him when Simon opens his eyes, the sky outside of his window already pitch black, the sun long sunk beneath the horizon.
It’s not happenstance—it’s routine.
As spring inches into summer and the days grow longer, he gets a glimpse of the sun that he’s been avoiding all this time. It bleeds into his dinners with Gaz slowly but surely, the evening sky going ochre and then blood red in the twilight hours. He can’t say that he’s missed over the long winter months. There was a kind of relief in becoming nocturnal. Now, he has to face the day again.
The vestiges of all past incidents collide here somewhat mercilessly.
His life since leaving the service has been essentially meaningless, a direct continuation from the life he led before retiring. No aspirations or short-term ambitions. Staring down the barrel of his fourth decade and wondering whether he’ll make it. Whether it’s even worth it to try when the shit keeps piling up and the years keep slipping away and it’s getting harder rather than getting easier with time.
(too many people he’s seen die; too much that he himself has endured)
The shrink he’s forced to see (read: blackmailed into seeing) says things like PTSD and complicated grief. Simon scowls at the mention. He’s not disputing the nature of those things so much as their relation to him. What does it say about him besides that he was born? That he went through something terrible and now it’s over?
Some things are harder for him to deny. Sciatica and nerve pain; the low, constant buzzing of tinnitus in both ears. Muscle tension and migraines that come so suddenly that they nearly incapacitate him when they hit. Insomnia. Sleeping pills do the trick most of the time, but it takes a harrowing amount of effort to get any sleep without them.
He gets a job as a night security guard-cum-parking lot attendant of a big office building downtown and that simplifies things a bit. Gives him a steady paycheck and a reason to get up every day. It’s also a sterile, quiet environment for the most part—he waits in his booth as the workers come down one-by-one and slouch into their cars, squeezing past each other on the way out.
It’s not much, but it’s a living. More than that, it gives him a reason to get up in the morning, as mundane a job as it is.
But—
there’s someone in the building that messes with his head in a way that it shouldn’t be messed with.
In the three months that Simon has worked in the building, he hasn’t gone more than a day without smelling that telltale scent of fresh, ripe omega. The same one too, all the time. Fresh and clean, like peppermint; it makes him suck his teeth as if to get the sugar off when it wafts under his nose.
The first time he smells your scent, when the elevator doors open up and you step out into the carpark, it takes everything in him not to go after you. Head disconnected from his body, on a swivel; spine ramrod straight, steel-plated. Following your bouncy gait with his eyes as you traipse across the lot to your car sitting pretty in the corner of the carpark like that wouldn’t be the perfect place to accost you, all the security cameras pointed away.
He very nearly quits. Nearly rips off the badge hanging from the clip fixed to his belt loop and leaves the parking lot unattended.
The only reason he doesn’t is because, well—
Simon’s used to torture.
Pain is an inflexible, living thing that he has long since invited into his body to take up residence. It lives and breathes with him, synchronous movements in his chest. It flutters under the surface like a swimmer just barely keeping from breaching the water.
And breach it does. Over and over and over again.
So he doesn’t quit. Sticks it out instead. Ignores the internal recalibration happening inside of him because when has that ever mattered?
He knows who you are, after all.
Busy bee that you are, you often work until late at night, driving home only when it’s dark out and there’s hardly anyone else on the road. It makes him antsy to think of you out there after dark, your only company on the road the long-haul truckers and drunk drivers.
You’ve only ever spoken to him once—one time when you forgot your employee pass upstairs in your office and asked him so sweetly to let you back onto the elevator. Standing outside of his booth with your hands clasped together and your eyebrows delicately furrowed and his jaw growing heavier and heavier and—
Only a single, flimsy pane of plexiglas between the two of you. He could shatter it without much effort. Stuff you into the trunk of your car and use your keys to drive himself home. You eye him almost dubiously, like you can hear the thoughts writhing around in his head like snakes in a pit, and for a second your foot angles outward like you might even back away from the booth altogether.
Simon holds himself back though. Only just.
It’s not as rare these days for an omega to work such a high pressure job, but it’s certainly not common; you’re probably one of the few in the whole building. Certainly the only to have ever caught his attention.
He knows what it means too. Your scent. What it means that, after four decades of relative anosmia, someone suddenly comes along smelling like everything good in the world. The knowledge sits heavy in his stomach.
It wasn’t supposed to be in the cards for him. A mate. It was supposed to be enough for him to have this half life. He has a history all cramped up in his chest, too much to burden anyone else with. Even his team—men that have bled and killed and nearly died with him—only know what could amount to an approximation.
He was supposed to be fine with this arrangement, grateful that the universe has deigned to give him anything at all.
So why then—
(why can he not get you out of his head?)
Simon thinks about it all the time, your scent still lingering in the carpark even hours after you’ve clocked in. Makes him think about sitting on his couch in his dingy flat, nursing a beer while you keep his cock warm in your mouth, dragging his thumb lazily over your scarred gland, a match on in the background. His perfect little family.
For weeks now he’s been on edge, pissed off because you keep flaunting your scent right under his nose like he’s supposed to be some bastion of self-control, somehow keeping himself from sinking his teeth into the delicate skin of your neck. It’s indecent. Unfair.
This is the point in his earlier years when his alpha would have twisted around in the back of his head and whispered something sinister into his ear, but those days are long gone. His alpha is not a distinct thing that he can feel or sense in any tangible way; it’s indistinguishable from him, no difference between its wants and his. Everything is just amplified, his hunger doubled. Refracted.
Lots of things have built him into the man that inhabits his body today. Torture and torment and trauma. Reckoning with his own mortality one too many times; coming close enough to naming it. The man who is buried alive is not the same man who digs himself out.
That, more than anything, is why he keeps his distance despite knowing what you are to him.
From across the lot, on your way out for the day, you glance up and happen to meet his eyes. You smile politely and nod his way.
The grey walls surrounding the booth press into him from all sides, squeezing around him until he can hear the blood pounding in his ears.
Every Friday night, Price and him have a standing date at the local pub where they order drinks and make minimal conversation. Just the way Simon likes it.
It’s always crowded and always thundering with noise, old timers smoking out front where cigarette butts are strewn all over the sidewalk. The men at the bar roar and clamour as they stare at the television screen hanging behind the bartender, banging their fists on the bartop and making the whole room shake whenever their team scores.
It’s rowdy as all hell and it feels like being home.
Simon knows that their weekly drink is just a way for Price to make sure that he hasn’t offed himself yet. He’s not a bad man, for all his faults. His dictatorial qualities are offset by his caring disposition, the temperament of a man willing to keep tabs on his soldiers well after they’ve left the service.
It’s excessive, but it doesn’t go unnoticed.
“You got plans for the weekend?” Price asks like he always does a few minutes into their first drink.
Simon shrugs and takes a drink. “Got a few.”
His unwillingness to part with a sliver of personal information for even his closest companion must wear on the nerves, but he’s been going strong for thirty-something years. It speaks to his character and the longevity of their relationship that Price doesn’t seem to mind, content with whatever Simon deigns to let slip.
“Got a few myself,” Price reveals, happy to part with his privacy for the sake of conversation. “Taking the missus up to Shropshire for a little honeymoon.”
“Just as well. She doing alright?”
Price shrugs. “Hasn’t taken apart the kitchen this week.”
That’s the extent of their conversation. The rest devolves into gentle ribbing about the match up on the telly (Manchester United vs. West Ham—ending in such a spectacular defeat for Man United that Simon nearly gets into it with a guy on the other end of the bar crowing too loud) before parting ways at the end of the night, Price going one way and Simon the other.
The streets are empty on his walk to the tube, the roads slick with puddle water from the earlier rainfall and the alleys illuminated by the red dots of cigarette butts, their custodians puffing away dutifully, their bodies ensconced in the shadows. A driver leans on their horn when he cuts across the street without checking for any oncoming traffic, and though the sound makes his upper lip curl, he ignores it.
Sometimes, he hopes that someone will take him out to pasture like an old warhorse. Do it while he’s not looking. Let him catch one final sunset before putting him down.
It would save everyone else a lot of grief.
The only reason he doesn’t do it himself is because he couldn’t do that to Johnny. Can’t even stomach the thought of what it would do to him; can’t even trick himself into thinking that it wouldn’t bulldoze a hole right through his boy’s life.
If someone else were to kill him, Johnny would at least have the possibility of closure. Maybe he ought to just pay someone to do it someday. Simon discards that thought as soon as it flits through his head though—there’s not a chance that Johnny wouldn’t scour the Earth to find the man that killed him.
Simon’s as sure of that as he is of anything because he’d do the same for him.
Though he has two hundred thousand in an offshore account and thirty grand stuffed into his mattress, Simon takes the tube and walks every day on principle alone. His truck stays parked on the street unless he needs to move it to the other side for street sweeper to pass by.
This train is for—
Next stop is—when leaving the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you.
Cool in the early morning hours. When Simon gets off the train at his stop, the breeze slips into every open crevice of his jacket, crawling up his sleeves and down his collar.
It’s early enough that the only people at the station with him are the early commuters, everyone going in the opposite direction from him, on their way downtown instead of on their way home. The sun peeking over the horizon is spoiled by a grey, dismal sky, saturating everything in a pallid, dreary light.
There’s a bus that takes him nearly all the way home, though he has to walk the last ten minutes. He sits at the back with his hood drawn over his head, dead eyeing anyone stupid enough to glance his way too many times. When he gets off at his stop, it hurtles away from the curb as if it couldn’t get away fast enough.
His flat is the kind that not even squatters would deign to claim. Borderline squalid. Borderline hazardous to human habitation. The mold spores and asbestos is probably digging him an early grave, everything short of an infestation. On his better days, Simon contemplates tidying up the place before a wave of apathy and scorn bludgeons him over the head. Why bother when he has no one to bring round?
“Ye could try cleanin’ it up fer me,” Johnny gripes on one of the rare occasions when he spends the night. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s too late and Johnny’s a bit too squiffy from the pub to get home on his own.
He walks barefoot into the kitchen where Simon is rustling up something to eat (mac and cheese that he’ll eat straight from the pot when it’s ready), towel-drying his hair and swaying on his feet from sheer exhaustion. Nearly stumbles right into the wall before catching himself.
“What’s the problem?” Simon asks, drawling the question.
“There’s a ring o’ grime aroond the tub. Did ye hose off a dog in there?”
He shrugs. “You wanna clean it so bad, you can do it. There’s Pine-Sol under the sink.”
“Ah honestly think we’re gonna need a power washer fer it. The fuckin’ state of this place, Simon…”
“Get in the fuckin’ bed and quit runnin’ your mouth before I decide you’d sleep better on the porch.”
Johnny makes a face and waddles off, murmuring epithets under his breath before launching himself stomach first onto Simon’s bed and snoring before he’s even hit the mattress, his shins half hanging off the end. It can’t be comfortable, but they’ve certainly slept in worse places.
Simon will readjust him when he joins his boy later, but for now he focuses on taking the pot off the hob and fetching a fork from the cutlery drawer, scooping up a generous first bite. Flares his nostrils when he notices old food still flaked on the fork that he just pulled from the drawer.
Maybe the mutt has a point.
The thing is—
He’d like to say something to you. He’d like for things to go his way for a change.
But his appetite for violence won’t allow good things to come to him naturally. Always a struggle for survival, conditions worsening until there’s nowhere else to go but up (scrambling up the side of a self-dug hole). He hears it coming like an air raid siren off in the distance. Self-sabotage at its finest.
He feels little shame for the state of his existence, but it’s hard not to feel some sense of perceived inferiority. His military accolades aside (of which he can’t speak to, given that most were awarded post mortem for obvious reasons), Simon’s working class roots are indivisible from him as a person. When he looks at you, he sees someone who wouldn’t even touch the dirt he was sown and germinated in.
What could he offer a woman? What could he offer anyone at all?
His body carries the weight of his life in scar tissue, torn cartilage, and bones that have been welded back into place too many times to count. Theseus’ ship of a man. Simon is aware, distantly, of the things that make him appealing to women, but they’re stacked against the things that make him thoroughly undesirable. His body draws the eyes that his face repels, muscles less enticing when they get a proper look at his ugly mug. Good enough for a fuck but not more than that.
For a long time now, living has been an exercise in humility. Wanting but never receiving. Senseless violence that never seems to stop, always someone around to perpetuate it.
Often that person is him.
On Monday, Simon watches you walk to your car in slacks that cling to your legs, the fabric tightening across your ass when you lower yourself into your car.
On Tuesday, on a whim or possibly because of brain damage, he calls a professional cleaning service to give him a quote for a detailed deep cleaning.
The owner charges him double the usual amount, which nearly pisses him off enough to cancel the service altogether, but he lets it go when Johnny begs him to let him pay half (after calling him six times in a row after Simon made the mistake of texting him about it).
It doesn’t change the overall state of the place, but Simon does feel a flicker of pleasant surprise when he comes home to a house that doesn’t smell faintly of mildew. Walls a shade lighter, like years worth of soot has been scrapped off of them. Even the grates on the stove have been scrubbed and cleaned, the inside of the oven also free of grit and grease for once in probably a decade.
He christens the clean up with a smoke in the bathroom with the window propped open, the early morning noises keeping him company. Ashes his cigarette on the window ledge for once instead of the bathroom floor, the sound of the traffic in the distance keeping him company.
“Ah cannae wait tae see it,” Johnny enthuses over the phone when Simon finally picks up after three missed calls in a row. “When ah’m back in the city, ah’m comin’ over ASAP.”
Simon’s lips twitch into a slight smirk. “Dunno about that. Might change the locks too.”
Sometimes he says shit just to rile Johnny up. Just to hear the sound of him squawking on the other end of the phone, feathers ruffled. He gets a kick out of taking all that frenetic energy and compressing it, making himself the focal point of Johnny’s restlessness, the recipient of his undivided attention.
He’s always been selfish with his toys.
His body is red hot when he finally lays down in bed, cock thickening up and pulsing between his legs. All he can think of is getting you into his bed and pounding you until you come a few times around his knot, until the base of his shaft is a mess of cream and cum, and his chest is scratched up and bloody from your nails.
The sheets under him are rumpled and hot with his sweat when he takes his cock in hand, tugging himself off until he spills all over his hand and up his chest. Simon stares up at the fan rotating above his head as the cum cools on his stomach, cool air wafting down on him, allowing himself, if only for a moment, to imagine what it would be like to actually have you.
He doesn’t think he’s going to do it.
His whims are hard to predict though. Quicksilver and fluid; volatile and inconsistent. Worse though are his morals, which fluctuate with his mood like the tides with the moon, pulled back only to rush forward at a moment’s notice.
Despite the way his chest sometimes burns with the need to follow you home after your shift and force his way in while you’re out for the day, Simon doesn’t let his urges cloud his judgment. Master of self-discipline; jack of all other trades.
It’s part of what made him such an indispensable operative: his ability to suppress all instincts and wants in service to a higher purpose.
He’s got rope in a drawer in the booth though. That’s where it gets tricky. Myriad uses for it and none of them good. God must have a bad sense of humour.
Then one day, you come in a bit too close to your heat.
Even before you come stumbling out of the elevator, swaying on your feet and barely able to keep yourself upright, your scent is pungent in the garage. When Simon opens the door from the back office to the lot, he stills, every cell in his body briefly freezing. He can’t pinpoint it to any one car in the lot at first, but his instincts and nose point him to yours.
You must’ve mistimed your heat and thought you had more time before it would hit. It’s the only reason you’d show up to your office on the cusp of it, to a building packed with alphas all foaming at the mouth to knot a heat-addled omega. There’s nothing they’d like more than to get their hands on you in this state.
It’s a mistake you won’t make again.
He oscillates between anger and hunger, pissed at you for showing up to the office at such a delicate time while his teeth ache something fierce in his mouth. Alpha nature rearing its ugly head again. If you were his, it wouldn’t even be a question—you’d have been home days ago, sequestered away in his place and readying the nest for your heat.
The elevator dings when it opens, alerting him and drawing his eyes over. Such a small sound for such a momentous occasion.
Even from a distance, you look a right mess. Eyes heavy lidded and bloodshot. Sweat beading at your hairline. Lips swollen from excessive chewing or blood flow. It doesn’t matter to him. You look good a little messed up anyway, like someone took you apart and forgot to put you back together again. Makes Simon wish it was him that did it.
Then the full, unadulterated scent of your heat slams into him tenfold and every coherent thought comes screeching to a halt.
Every wistful thought of taking it slow or approaching you first evaporates in a heartbeat. In an instant, he becomes an animal. Eyes tracking your every move. Breath lengthening and deepening to keep you from hearing him coming.
He doesn’t think he’s going to do it until the booth door opens.
Simon shuts the door soundlessly behind him, laser focused on the sway of your ass as you pop open the backseat door to toss your bag and belongings in. He moves towards you quickly, covering the distance between the two of you in just a few long strides, practiced at the initial advance.
This is what he was built for after all—hunting and capturing. Moving silently through the shadows, stalking his target through the thick and waiting for them to move into just the right position.
Right when you reach your car and open the backseat door—
Throwing your work bag onto the floor, none the wiser that there’s a man at your back moving closer and closer, eyes locked on the jut of your shoulder blades and the arch of your back and—
You don’t put up much of a fight when he forces you into the car and splays you over the backseat, likely too confused and disoriented to vocalize your surprise. He’s stronger than you anyway. When the fight finally snaps into you, it’s too late—you’re splayed across the backseat at an awkward angle and pinned in place by his hand, only a little force needed to keep you down.
The little dress you’re wearing gets rucked up around your waist and your panties pulled to the side. He unfastens his jeans with one hand and pulls his cock out before wrenching you towards him with one hand on your waist, the friction lifting your dress up the rest of the way until he can nearly see the full line of your back.
“What—”
You only catch on when his fingers graze your pussy lips and your whole body shudders violently. A thumb splits the seam of your lips, stroking you from slit to asshole, spreading your slick over both holes.
“Relax,” Simon grumbles when you start to fuss, things slipping out of your mouth like no, wait, stop, who are you?—a bunch of silly prattle. “I’ve got ya, pet.”
“Get off—” you hiss, spitting like an angry cat with its fur all bunched up, and he’d laugh if he wasn’t pushing his thumb into your wet little hole and watching it seize up around the digit. The rest of your tirade comes out in a choked gasp, indignant horror rendering you mute.
You try to push yourself up onto your elbows and he shoves you back down, making the breath rush out of you. A steady drip of slick wets the seat under you, making the dark fabric glisten, but Simon doesn’t spend too much time focusing on that.
“You’re not gonna fight after wagging this around,” he growls.
“I haven’t, I haven’t, I haven’t.”
Liar. He’ll make an honest girl out of you yet.
He pulls his fingers away from your cunt long enough to fist his cock and lift from where it droops between his legs. His cock throbs in his hand as he notches it against your opening, grits his teeth too when the heat of your cunt burns the tip of his cock.
“Fuck,” Simon grits out, then edges forward again.
Hot as a fucking branding iron. He pulls you back instead of thrusting forward, impaling you on his length like a toy in his hands. In, in, in until suddenly he can’t anymore, at the limits of what your body will allow.
“C’mon, bird, deep breath in,” Simon murmurs when you hiss, hoping you’ll listen.
As clenched up as you are, it’s almost impossible to fuck you properly. He can barely cram in a few inches before finding you too tight to push the rest of the way in. It’s enough to make do though. Enough to draw his hips back and thrust in again, fucking you with just the first few inches of his cock, your toes curling and flexing with every thrust.
“You’re—you’re inside me?” you gasp.
The laugh comes from his chest unbidden, disbelief plucking it out of him. “Yeah, pet. I am.”
Your groan is torn from your throat. “Oh god.”
He nearly spirals watching your cunt stretch around the width of his cock. Fits him like a fucking glove, and though it’s been awhile, Simon doesn’t remember it ever feeling like this. Intense. A thick blanket of heat weighing down on him, the inside of your car humid, the combination of your and his breath making the windows fog up, the car itself shaking with every thrust.
It registers at the periphery of his consciousness that he didn’t even bother to put on a condom. There might be one buried at the back of his wallet or in a drawer somewhere back home, but even if Simon were to look down and see one on the floorboard of the car, it wouldn’t sway him one iota. He knows he’s clean, and whether you are or not doesn’t matter because—
He wants it this way with a fervor that borders on irrational.
His hips drive forward in quick, short strokes, barely sinking in halfway before pulling back out, thoughts of shucking you open like an oyster and leaving a pearl behind stirring at the back of his mind. His wants are as ugly as everything about him.
Simon doesn’t think about whether it’s a bad idea or not. Impulsive as always, he lets the thing that has become him over countless years guide his hand, staring as it wraps around the front of your throat and lifts you up, your hands scrambling under you for purchase.
Lean down. His mouth is salivating. What he wants isn’t right but—
God, he wants it.
His wants outpace his self-control for once though. The devil on his shoulder (in his soul, in his blood, that which was curled up with him since birth, a remnant of the father, a seed waiting to germinate in bloodsoaked soil) guides his head down into the crook of your neck where your mating gland sits, your blood pumping frantically right beneath it.
Your throat pulses when his canine nicks your gland and when you swallow, he can feel it against his teeth.
So easy, like slicing through butter—
(whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat—oh my God, no)
Your voice in his ear, fluttering like a hummingbird.
And then, blood—a taste so familiar that he doesn’t even notice it at first. Only when it washes down his throat does Simon realize what he’s done.
He comes back to himself with his teeth buried in your shoulder, blood in his mouth and a buzzing sound in his head. Cock still only half-sheathed in your pussy, squeezing around him like a vice, your voice a dull roar in his ear.
A phantom presence undulates in the back of his mind, the first presence apart from himself in well over fifteen years. It twists and turns like a fish out of water, flopping around on its belly. It’s never been here before. It’s never been out of itself before and it’s terrified. It’s scared of what that means.
The flesh squelches when he pulls his teeth out, your ensuing gasp wet and watery like the blood dripping from his mouth onto your back. Little droplets colouring your dress red where they land.
“Fuck,” he murmurs to himself, staring down at the bite mark on your shoulder.
His imagined future suddenly switches course, a whole new world being terraformed before his eyes. Everything different even while everything stays the same.
At the base of his cock, his knot plumps up, filling with blood. When his cock glides back in, it presses fruitlessly against your opening, too big to slip in. You whimper when you feel it nudging at your entrance.
He has a really big knot, even soft; too big for you to take comfortably, if at all. Hard though, it’s another beast altogether.
Simon doesn’t need all that though. Not now, at least. Plans are already forming piecemeal in his head, colliding against each other as he huffs through short, shallow thrusts, mindlessly seeking his release. The sound of your squelching pussy echoes through the underground lot, unmistakable to anyone else that might still be milling around at this time of night.
What’s done is done. There’s no reason to bank regrets to cash in some day in the future because the future is already here. It’s here happening right in front of him and Simon has never looked back before.
Your pleasure flickers in the back of his head, like picking up a radio frequency previously undetected. Suddenly there. It’s almost his too; settles into the base of his spine along with his own need to come. Thin like a will-o-wisp.
What he wouldn’t give to sink to the root, feel that wet grip all around him, squeezing his shaft extra tight.
You keen and beg him through gasped breaths when Simon tries to force a hand under your belly to play with your clit. “Wait, wait, wait—too much—”
It’s tempting to just ignore you and keep rubbing your swollen clit, but he huffs and backs off instead, massaging his hands up the sides of your waist again. “Alright, alright.”
His thumbs press into the divots of your back almost punishingly hard, sure to leave a bruise there. Squeezes your waist extra hard when he nears his end, his vision tunneling on the sight of his cock splitting you in half, soaked with your combined juices.
He catches your eye when you twist your head to look over your shoulder at him and that’s what sets him off. That desperate, helpless look in your glazed over eyes. Desire so vivid that for a second he can almost trick himself into thinking that this is what you want—
Thick ropes of cum paint the inside of your pussy. His knot butts against your entrance with every offbeat thrust, the base of it frothy white with cum, yours and his mixing together. It’s almost painful to have nothing wrapped around it, but it’s a pain he’s grown used to, never having knotted anything better than his own hand.
This should be enough for him, most of the fat length of his cock snug in your pussy and his knot wet with your juices. He shouldn’t want more than this. It should be enough for him to slide his hand over your belly and feel the slightest bulge.
His gums itch when he licks his lips.
It’s not enough though.
When Simon pulls out, you shudder one last time, a string of stuttered curses slipping from your mouth. Foul-mouthed little thing.
“Holy shit,” you wheeze. “What the fuck?”
Just that nearly makes his lips twitch.
He drags you back out of the car just enough so that your feet touch the floor, giving him enough room to right your underwear and readjust your dress. Dazed and confused, you sway on your feet before he catches you by the waist, his dick still out and spent against his thigh.
“You need a breather before we leave?” Simon asks.
You don’t seem to absorb his words right away, too lost in your own head. The wound on your shoulder is still raw and livid. There’s gauze in the first aid kit in the booth that might help, but that requires more cooperation from you than he thinks you’ll be willing to give once you find your bearings.
“Leave?” you repeat.
He nods, smoothing your dress down. “Can’t be ‘ere too long. Already too close to your ‘eat.”
That brings you crashing back down to reality, the comedown so hard that Simon has to hold you upright when your knees buckle.
“My heat,” you repeat, confused at first before it dawns on you.
“S’right, bird. Did ya forget?”
Obviously not, but he gets his laughs out of the little things.
You flinch when your hand comes up to touch your shoulder. “Oh my God. Oh my God, what did you do?”
Your panic draws over him like a cloak. He can feel it somehow viscerally real but distinct from his own emotions. If he were a weaker man, it might trigger his own panic, but he hasn’t been that kind of man in a long, long time. Too much has happened since he was that boy—Roba, Mexico, Makarov, the Channel Tunnel. He’s lived a hundred lives in that time.
So when your bloodstained hand moves to his chest and you start to struggle again, Simon knows how to handle it.
The cherry blossoms have been in bloom for quite some time now. Petals freckle the road bordering the park on the drive home, but they vanish in a flurry as he travels farther away from the city centre, creeping into the outskirts of London.
Moonlight like a runlet of white satin moths light the way home. It reminds him a lot of his childhood home. Spongy, mossy bogs where white moths feed on sallow and poplar, and the water barely announces its presence. Old remnants of cocoons spun into the reeds. A bosky landscape that, as a child, Simon spent hours trudging through to escape the turmoil of his home life, coming home in the evenings barefoot with his wet sneakers held in both hands.
The memory fades when he takes a necessary turn leading him home and passes a squad car with its lights off going the other way. He’s careful not to make eye contact, taking another unnecessary turn in order to get out of their visual field.
He’s aware of the predicament he’s in with you tied up in the backseat of your own car.
Lucky for Simon though, it’s Friday. Meaning that unless you had plans scheduled for the weekend, no one will expect to see your face until Monday, giving him plenty of time to figure out what to do with you. And given that you’re on the brink of your heat—your scent absolutely saturating the inside of the car, too strong for him to risk cracking open a window—he likely has even longer than that.
In the backseat of the car, you squirm around and howl through duct taped lips. Another reason for him to keep the windows up.
He cranks up the volume on the radio to drown out the sound of your whines. Bit of a pity, since it’s not like Simon has a problem with them. There are still cars around though, and for a little thing you’ve sure got a set of lungs on you. He’d be almost impressed if it weren’t inconvenient.
Densely populated boroughs give way to sparser and sparser neighbourhoods. Neatly manicured trees swapped for dense, overgrown bushes and trees, branches leaning over street lights and half-obscuring stop signs. He navigates the streets by muscle memory alone, not paying attention to the street signs or addresses.
Simon lives in a see-nothing-say-nothing neighbourhood. No one on either side of his house, both vacant for longer than he’s resided here. He knows even this place won’t escape gentrification one day, but for now prices are low and privacy is absolute. None of his neighbours want to know his business any more than he wants to know theirs.
There’s no one else on the street when he parks in front of his house. Not unusual, but he welcomes the privacy nevertheless.
The scent of your heat comes billowing out of the car when Simon opens the backseat door. Thick, rich, and musky.
His hackles go up instantly, territorial instincts lifting from the silt of his being. The street is deserted, but that doesn’t stop the influx of paranoia and suspicion. Anyone could be lurking around any corner. His paranoia comes from a place of truth, but it’s displaced from its original context—this is his home, not foreign territory.
Still, he’d be happier with you inside as quickly as possible. Too many open windows and alphas that might be stupid enough to challenge him, mate bond or not.
He lifts you into his arms from the backseat and tosses you over his shoulder, lips twitching when your breath comes out in a whoosh. The car beeps behind him when he locks it with the keys he snatched from your work bag and it’s a quick walk into his house, his chest only settling when the door is shut and locked behind him.
In the house, he deposits you on the couch and kneels in front of you, the breadth of his body splitting your knees when he situates himself between them. Hard not to take liberties with you considering what you are to him now. It doesn’t even occur to him until your brow furrows and you try to pull your knees into your chest, forcing him to plant both hands on your upper thighs to pull them back down.
“You gonna be good if I take it off?” Simon asks, referring to the tape on your mouth.
You nod vigorously, so eager to get the tape off that you’ll agree to just about anything, even if you have no intention of keeping your word. He can feel that duplicitous instinct at the back of his mind.
He wonders if you’ve begun to feel him in your head yet.
The tape pulls your skin up with it as Simon peels it out, a few hairs coming with it. You grimace and wince through the pain, eyes flitting around the living room, scanning every inch and looking for any way out. Look all you want. It won’t matter in a couple of hours.
The first thing you do is scream at the top of your lungs for help, erupting into a coughing fit when your vocal chords are pushed to their limits.
“Heeeeeeeeeelllllppppppp!” you screech, hoping that someone in one of the adjacent houses will hear your scream and come to your aid. “Someone help me pleaaaaseeeee!”
It’s disappointing but not surprising. Still, though his upper lip curls at the sudden burst of noise, he doesn’t so much as flinch, still as stone in front of you as you scream your head off.
When you pause to take a breath, panting from the effort, he raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. “You done?”
Flummoxed by his nonchalance, you almost don’t know how to respond, stunned into silence for a moment. Then you start up again, louder than the first time, shrieking like a trapped bird looking for help.
Despite the relative privacy that this neighbourhood affords him, Simon doesn’t feel like pushing his luck. His hand snaps out viper-quick to cover your mouth, trapping the rest of your screams in his palm and making your eyes bulge with shock.
“Quit screaming or I put the tape back on,” he says, blunt as ever. No sympathy for the fact that he kidnapped you and brought you to a second location. Of course you’d be scared; of course you’d be panicked.
It’s not that Simon doesn’t understand your reaction, he just doesn’t want to deal with it. His reservoirs of patience have been all used up in holding himself back these past few weeks.
He waits until you nod before pulling his hand away.
For a minute, all you can do is stare at him, eyes tracing over his face and lingering on all the ugly bits. The scar from his cleft lip, the burns around his temple pulling back his hairline, the crooked lump of his nose (put back in place one too many times), the slope of his brow over his eyes, almost Neanderthalic.
“Who are you?” Though it’s not the first thing you’ve ever said to him, it’s the first time you’ve ever spoken directly to him, face to face, no screen in between you to dampen your scent.
Your voice rushes over him like a wave, taking him under when it curls over the other side and kisses the water. Fills his lungs with salt water. Even hoarse from screaming, it’s still the loveliest sound he’s ever heard.
“We’ve met,” he says curtly. Annoyed that you haven’t felt the same fixation with him. You look terrified to disagree with him though he can see it in your eyes. “I work in the building.”
Recognition flickers across your face. “…You’re the parking attendant. You helped me get back into the building that one time.”
So he hasn’t completely escaped your attention.
Simon grunts instead of answering.
You glance around the room again. “…Where am I?”
“My house,” he answers.
His ease in answering your questions must throw you for a loop. You hadn’t expected him to be so forthcoming, but what would he gain in lying to you?
The gravity of the situation isn’t lost on you though. On your own, miles from home, fucked and mated by a man who must have been watching you for weeks, if not months. Simon doubts you remember how long he’s worked in the parking lot.
Worse yet, you’re on the brink of your heat, maybe a few hours away from it breaking. It’s a wonder you left your house at all today. You would’ve been smarter just to call out, stay holed up in your flat until it hit and you slipped comfortably into your heat.
But you made your bed. Now you have to lie in it.
“You’ve ruined everything…” you whimper, trembling fingers feeling around the bite mark on your shoulder.
That pisses him off. Stings his pride. As if he were such a piece of shit that you couldn’t fathom being tied to him.
“Had a boyfriend or something?” he grunts dismissively.
Whatever you had before doesn’t phase him. Boyfriend, girlfriend, husband. None of it matters with that mark on your shoulder, the thing tying you indelibly to him. Still, he asks knowing that it’ll piss him off if you answer in the affirmative, though he can’t smell anyone else’s scent on you.
Your upper lip curls at the question. “No.”
“Good.”
“I just didn’t want to be—” You can hardly bring yourself to say it. You pause, biting your lip. “I don’t—I don’t even know who you are.”
“Name’s Simon.”
You look at him like asking for his name never even occurred to you. Less than impressed.
“Do you even know what you did?” you ask, tone slipping from disbelief to disdain.
The cheap shot at his intelligence barely gets on his nerves though. He’s used to people using words when they look at him and realize that physical violence won’t get them anywhere.
“Nah, bird,” Simon drawls, looking at you through half-lidded eyes. “What’d I do?”
You balk at that, clearly assuming that he wouldn’t call your bluff, that he’d have some excuse for biting you and tying you to him.
The amusement in his eyes must be obvious though because you scowl when you catch it. “So you messed up our lives on purpose?”
“Wasn’t planning on it. You’re the one that showed up to work right before a heat.”
The humiliation is plain on your face. “I had—I had a deadline. I didn’t think anyone would even notice.”
He shrugs. “I noticed.”
An understatement if there ever was one. It’s been months since he’s had a thought that didn’t somehow circle back to you.
You scowl. “It’s not the twentieth century anymore. Omegas don’t have to be housebound for the month of their heat.”
All Simon can do is stare at you. There’s a sweat building at your hairline and he can see the pulse in your neck, your impending heat evident in the way you hold yourself—so close to the cusp that a gust of wind would send you right over. It wouldn’t take much.
It could be as easy as grabbing himself through his pants and watching your eyes glaze over. He doesn’t have to be pretty to turn you on. He knows now from first hand experience that you’ll get wet for a big dick.
“Lot of omegas go to work without being slags about it.”
Shock ripples across your face, followed closely by a rage that makes his balls tighten. “You’re a piece of shit.”
Piece of shit is putting it lightly. He’s the bird picking the flesh off the carcass with the sun-bleached bones.
“Make your nest,” Simon grunts instead, leaving you to your own devices.
“I’m not making my nest here. I have one at home.” You sound outraged at the very thought of making a nest in his house.
“Don’t got much of a choice, bird. It’s here or nowhere because you ain’t leavin’.”
It’s not a joke or a threat either. This far from home, you won’t make it back before your heat breaks, and Simon sees the moment that realization washes over you, your fate set in stone.
You don’t much appreciate being made to use the meagre belongings in his house for your nest. It’s a bit of a shame. He should’ve taken you back to your place instead where you likely already had a nest that you’d spent the last week labouring over, but he couldn’t trust you not to get your neighbor's attention.
There’s not much in the way of materials for you to use either. Old coats of his and musty blankets stored in the chest at the foot of his bed. You don’t even touch the mattress. He watches you sniff a sweater of his and grimace, tossing it into another corner of the room far away from your makeshift nest.
He hovers nearby while you build your nest even though he can feel your annoyance as real as if it were his own. That’s not his problem though. You have your instincts to follow and he has his.
He inspects the meagre items in his fridge and pantry while you fuss around in the other room—hardly enough to see just him through the weekend, never mind an omega about to go into heat—and scowls, pissed at the thought of being found lacking as an alpha. If he’d been smarter, he would’ve seen this coming a mile away, but instead he let himself believe that he could keep his greed under lock and key and failed to prepare for the inevitable.
In the other room, you whimper, your scent suddenly gone sour.
He pauses. Lifts his head and sniffs the air.
“Nothing to do with you, pet,” Simon says, raising his voice loud enough to carry to the other room.
You don’t say anything in response to his words, but the tension lifts from his shoulders when your scent goes back to normal.
The weight of responsibility sits heavy on his shoulders. He’s learning in real time that taking sharp corners means skirting sharp edges. That an abrupt change can’t just happen seamlessly.
Choices have consequences.
Even scared and on edge, your presence fills the house with a kind of levity that Simon hasn’t enjoyed in decades, if ever, omega sweet scent clouding the air. It’s disorienting. Like barreling down a dark tunnel without knowing what could possibly be on the other side.
Simon’s blood pressure spikes when your scent changes, a new peppery note that makes him salivate.
You don’t come crawling to him though and that ticks him off. Already fucked and mated you and you still won’t cooperate; still giving him a hard time despite the work he’s put in. He stalks through the house and finds you huddled under a blanket in your nest, shivering and sweating, gaze desperate when you turn to find him haunting the doorway.
He tilts his head to one side to get a better look at you. “What’re ya doing on your own in there, bird?”
You pull the blanket tighter around you, the whole thing wrapped around your head and body and only exposing a sliver of your face.
“H-hot,” you mumble. “Leave me alone.”
“Gotta take the blanket off if you’re ‘ot, love.”
He feels like he’s approaching a skittish animal, one that might lope off into the woods at any moment. Only there’s nowhere for you to run. There’s nowhere for you to go, and even if you could figure out a way to duck around him, you wouldn’t have the energy for a chase, weighed down by the exhaustion and mindlessness of heat.
A few steps until he’s close enough and Simon drops to his knees, reaching out to cup the ankle sticking out of your blanket cocoon. You flinch when his hands touch your skin, colder than your scorching, sweaty flesh.
The little fuss you put up as he pulls the blanket off you doesn’t deter him in the slightest. He’s single minded in his goal of getting you naked, tossing the blanket off the mattress even when you whine and lean over the mattress to retrieve it, and going for the straps of your dress in his haste to pull you back to him.
It doesn’t do much. The dress gets trapped around at your biceps instead of coming down, too tight around the chest and arms to come off that way. Simon realizes his mistake when you start scowling and bitching—a bunch of lip that goes in one ear and out the other because he doesn’t have the patience to deal with it.
“Fuck, you’re burning up, pet,” Simon mutters instead of responding to your grumbling.
There is real concern there, though it’s buried under an avalanche of desire so thick that it nearly suffocates him. He’s even been with an omega in heat before. Never been close enough to an omega to be given that right.
And now, by his own hand, he has one to call his own. His to take care of and see through their heat.
You bat his hand away when it gets too close to your stomach. “You’re cold.”
Simon scowls, irked. “‘Course I am—you’re runnin’ a fever, bird.”
“Don’t wanna be touched,” you gripe.
When he tries to crawl his hand up your shirt for a second time, you smack him again and his temper finally snaps.
“That does it,” he snarls and snatches you by the waist.
Wrestling you to the ground is a kind of tauromachy, only he’s the one huffing through his nose like a bull when he splays you out on your back and then turns you over, forcing your arms over your head and pinning your wrists together with one hand.
“Get—off of me—”
Pinned to the ground on your belly, you flail wildly and scream his ear off while he yanks up your dress again and works your knickers down your legs, nearly getting a foot to the face for his trouble.
“Should be thanking me for getting your ass off the street,” Simon spits out, increasingly annoyed by the way you won’t just let him between your thighs all nice and sweet. “Not even making you do any of the work.”
He’s so magnanimous that he doesn’t even bring up the fact that you’ve been his from the start. So forgiving despite the fact that you should’ve recognized his scent at the very start of it all and approached him before giving him no choice but to go down this road.
His arm is a bar across the small of your back that lays heavy as he plants his face between your thighs and eats you from behind, the bridge of his nose wedged against your perineum and wet with slick. He could cover the whole thing with his mouth if he wanted to.
For as many birds as he’s fucked in his past, this isn’t something he usually does. Gets little out of it, like kissing in that way. For some reason though, he wants it with you; wants it with an ache that makes his stomach cramp, shoulders pulled up to his ears and traps all bunched up around his neck.
He moves on from your pussy, worming his tongue into your clenched up asshole.
“No, don’t do that!” you gasp, reaching behind you as if you grab his hair and yank him away, only for your fingernails to scratch at his scorn scalp in vain.
You make the mistake of trying to push his head away and Simon snarls, the sound so low and guttural that you freeze when you hear it, the vibrations against your skin making your toes curl.
“Move your hand,” he growls.
You grab the blanket underneath you instead, curling your hands into fists and doing anything to avoid reaching back and pushing his face away again.
Much better. He likes how embarrassed and ashamed you get when he runs his tongue over your tight little hole, not used to having someone touch you there. It makes him feel powerful, dominant over you. Like taking your walls down brick by brick and then building you back up with him on the inside.
Though you don’t try to push him away anymore, you’re still a bit too petulant for his tastes. When you whine about it too much, he yanks your hips up and smacks your pussy with the meat of his hand to get you to shut up, your whole body flinching with the impact.
“Ow!” you yelp, a high, reedy sound that splits him down the center.
“You’re givin’ me a hard fuckin’ time, pet,” Simon grumbles. “Stay still.”
“You’re a—fucking asshole!” you holler.
Many people have called him worse, and none of them had his tongue on their asshole. He supposes he can give you a little leeway there.
It quivers under his tongue when he flicks it over the wrinkled skin again, clenching up tight as if to pull away from him. Shy little thing.
The taste of your skin is as good as your scent—a little saltier, but decadent. He laves his tongue over it again and again, eating your ass out until your pussy leaks like a loose spigot, the scent of it so enticing that he nearly gives in and swipes his tongue over your swollen lips.
That’s not what you need though.
Still a little gaped from taking his cock earlier, you take two fingers with ease, stretching beautifully around the widest part of his knuckle. It’s up there with the seven wonders of the world; Simon would choose this over Rome any day.
“You’re gonna take my knot this time, alright?” he murmurs into the underside of your ass, sinking his teeth in when you garble something contradictory at first. “Say yes, bird.”
“Fuck—” you choke out, recanting your previous words, wound up like a clockwork motor. “Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes—”
He skips straight to four fingers when your hips start to wriggle, amused by the way your thighs tense and your breath goes ragged, sweat dripping down your back. Your hips wiggle and his fingers sink in deeper until he’s practically cupping your pussy in his palm.
“Little bit more—c’mon, birdie, almost there,” Simon coaxes, fingers plunging in and out of the pretty quince between your legs, speeding up when he notices your thighs begin to shake.
You gush all over his fingers when you come, your upper body slumping over, settling deeper into lordosis. Fingers slick with cum when he pulls them out, the fluid webbing between his fingers when he pulls them apart to look at the mess you made.
He finally gives you his cock after he’s gotten you so wet and pliant that he could fist you if he was so inclined. His cock throbs at the thought; that’s a thought for a later day though, when he can afford to take his time with you.
This time when Simon settles behind you, he doesn’t wait for you to relax before pressing all the way in, trusting his own instincts over your frantic pleading. It’s a smooth glide in, wet channel stretching around his shaft with the memory of his size from earlier, easier this time even though you still swear through clenched teeth and shake when he nearly bottoms out.
“Shit…there we go,” he grits out through clenched teeth, forehead veins straining.
In all his life, he’s never had the same pussy twice. Never cared enough about someone to go back for seconds. And now he has one that’ll last him the rest of his life.
It’s rougher this time than in the backseat of your car. Messy and brutal. He fucks you fast and deep, nearly bottoming out with every thrust, panting like he’s been running with the bulls in Pamplona, blond tufts of hair on his chest matted with sweat. Your little grunted pants only spur him on.
He regrets not getting his mouth on your cunt before feeding you his cock. It’s so wet that it squelches every time his hips shuttle forward, slick leaking down the sides of his cock and pooling under you in a wet puddle on the mattress. His fault for not putting down a towel.
When he glances down, he sees your back hole still shiny with his spit and, in a moment of inspiration, wedges a thumb into it to keep it nice and spread. Better to just train you now while your body is so receptive, given that he intends on fucking every hole of yours before the week’s over.
“Coulda just asked for a fuck instead of doin’ all this,” Simon grunts through each thrust. “Wouldn’t’ve turned ya down.”
“I didn’t—I didn’t—”
He snaps his hips forward. “Yeah, you did. Filthy fuckin’ bird.” The sound of laboured breaths and wet, squelching pussy fills the room. “Been wantin’ this, ‘aven’t ya? Wantin’ me? That why you came waggin’ this wet cunt around?”
He’s desperate enough to trick his mind into believing that. The faintest flickering chance that it wasn’t just him sitting behind a booth and pining for what he couldn’t have. That maybe you’d been hoping and waiting for him to come to you instead, all coy and shy about it.
“No, no, I swear,” you gasp, turning your head to the side and looking up at him with your big, watery eyes.
“Yeah, ya did, birdie.”
He has to squeeze a finger in beside his cock to help stretch you enough to take his knot, and it’s a miracle that he eventually works it in. It takes some effort; time. Your back is slick with sweat, tense as a steel pole when he finally works it in, walls febrile and thin around the swollen mass of his knot, a single continuous wail ripping from your throat.
“Big, innit?” he asks rhetorically when he’s got you on the end of it and struggling to form words through soundless gasps for air.
The way you gulp in your breath says it all. Eyes probably wide and bulging if only he had a mirror to watch your expressions in. He’ll have to remember that for later.
It’s still good like this though. Draped over you, the pudge of his lower belly pressed against the small of your back, one hand on the mattress beside you and one clutching your hip to hold you in place.
When he drops his hand between your thighs to jiggle your clit, your inner walls squeeze around his knot and his brain nearly leaks out of his ears. His cockhead nudges against the firm, spongy opening of your cervix, and you mewl like all kittenlike and sweet.
“Gonna come, pet?” Simon rasps.
“I think I’m—think I’m gonna pass out,” you admit, practically slurring your words and Simon barely keeps from collapsing on top of you and fucking your brains out, smothering you under his weight until your words become reality.
It wouldn’t be enough to make him stop; would probably egg him on more than anything to have a soft, pliant body under him taking his cock without trying to squirm away. His knot throbs at the thought and he lets himself slip into the daydream, imagining you prone and unmoving under him.
One day he’ll have you like that. Middle of the night, moonlight streaming in through the window in silver ribbons, your legs akimbo on the bed and his body between them, monstrously large over your slumbering form. An ugly brute with no business plunging his big, filthy cock into such a pretty, perfect fairy doll.
He leans down, pressing a kiss into the back of your head, almost tender for what he’s doing to your pussy. “S’alright if you have to; I’ll take care of ya.”
A few more strums of his fingers over your slippery wet clit and you go tight and taut, coming almost violently, head lolling forward with the force of it, practically burying the crown of your head into the pillow. Maybe you do pass out for a minute or two.
Just the thought of that sends him freefalling over the edge, emptying his balls into the warm clench of your cunt, swollen knot throbbing with each spurt. His knot barely keeps it all plugged in, so much cum flooding your womb from weeks of pent up lust.
Indescribable pleasure crawls up his spine and winds around to the front through his ribcage. Too good for him to waste his time thinking about what he’ll do if his knot does what it’s meant to do and it takes. His cock pulses again at the thought, another wave of pleasure rushing through him. Jesus fuck.
He’s hunched over you for a while before it starts to slough off, thighs tensed on either side of yours. Balls drawn up tight and then slowly relaxing. Finally aware of the sweat pouring down his back and dripping from his chest. Muscles relaxing one after another. There’s an ache in his low back that likely won’t come out until he’s stretched it out, but it’s worth the pain to feel the way your back presses into him with every laboured inhale as you catch your breath.
Simon shushes you when you whine something about being full. “You can take it; you’re alright.”
“It hurts,” you whine, a touch dramatic for his tastes.
“Supposed to hurt, bird.”
Got no choice, is what he wants to say. It’s always going to hurt with him.
He keeps one hand on your belly to ensure you stay pressed up against him when he rolls onto his side, wary of you trying to pull yourself off his cock and hurting yourself in the process. The skin at your entrance is stretched taut around his knot, and though he’s never been a particularly gentle fuck, the idea of something ripping where you’re most delicate sets his teeth on edge.
Your forehead is still hot to the touch when Simon checks. And it will be for a while, your heat coming and going like the sun hidden briefly behind clouds before reappearing again. He’ll have to savour these moments of tranquility when they come.
The moment of stillness is broken when you open your mouth to say, “You know, you could’ve just…talked to me.”
He’s not used to being scolded. It’s been a long time since anyone had that kind of authority over him or reason to talk to him that way, longer still since he’s taken anyone’s words to heart.
“Talkin’ to you now, ain’t I?” Simon asks rhetorically. You huff and he can feel the movement of your back against his chest and it tickles something in him that’s still somehow alive, even after all these years. Even after everything.
“Not the same thing,” you mumble, cheek pressed against the pillow under your head.
‘Course it’s not the same thing, he wants to say, but compromise is essential for survival. You can’t tell a rock not to be a rock. Or a junkyard dog not to bite.
“Tell you what,” he rasps. He drags the hand moulded to your belly up your chest until it’s nestled between your breasts, cupping a tit. Not meaning anything particularly sexual by it. There’ll be a time for that later when your heat crests again and your eyes go filmy, any chance at a coherent conversation swept away. “When we’re done ‘ere…we can ‘ave a go at it. Pretend I asked you out first. Make a game out of it.”
He can feel your incertitude in the stillness of your body. “…What would be the point of that?”
Simon very nearly chuckles. Very nearly says that you alone are the purpose in anything. That everything else in his life has been an aimless meandering for some kind of meaning, all of which has been in vain. All of which has left him scarred and bloody and beaten and battered, and now, for the first time in his life, someone has come along and shown him how pointless all of what came before was.
But that seems like too many words for now.
“No point, bird. Jus’ to make you feel better about it.”
A fine layer of dust on the windowsill reminds Simon that he needs to call the cleaners again.
It’s been at least a day since he brought you home, maybe longer. The sky outside is lighter now than when he brought you in, creamy with light filtered through the clouds, the sun somewhere in pieces behind them.
His heart has always sat deep in the valley where the cold sinks. Sangfroid. Cold-blooded. He’s been called many things in his life, but never deserving. Maybe he still isn’t deserving of anything good. All he knows is how to take and how to spoil.
Today though, his heart isn’t as heavy as it’s always been, and a faint voice breathes softly at the back of his head.
You haven’t been asleep for more than a half hour when Simon goes into the living room to make a call.
Price answers on the second ring. “Lieutenant?”
He sighs. “Can’t keep calling me that.”
“Force of habit.” Simon isn’t thick. Price uses language like he’s casting bait; like if he says the magic word enough times, Simon will give up this bid for freedom and come crawling back with his tail tucked between his legs, ready to sign away his life again. He knows that Price would love to have him back under his command. “What’s the matter? You never call this late.”
“Gonna need a raincheck on our drink tomorrow.” His eyes shift to the bedroom door, darkness spilling from the crack where he left it open. “Something came up.”
There’s silence on the other end of the line and then a rough chuckle. “Oh, did it?”
His skin around his eyes crinkles as he stares into the darkness just beyond the bedroom door. If he quiets his breathing, he can almost hear the faint, soft sounds of your snores from the other room.
“Yeah. It did.”
#ceil writing#cod x reader#ghost/reader#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you
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Word List: Fashion History
to try to include in your poem/story (pt. 1/3)
Adinkra - a flat, cotton textile that is stamped with symbols which create the meaning of the garment; produced by the Asante peoples in Ghana
Agal - a rope made from animal hair which wraps around a keffiya (square cloth) on the head and is worn typically by Bedouin men
Akwete - a decorative cloth with complex weave designs, creating intricate geometric patterns, made with many vibrant colors; it is usually made into wrappers for women to wear and it is made by the Igbo women of Nigeria
Aniline Dyes - synthetic, chemical dyes for garments first invented in the 19th century
Anorak - a jacket that typically has a hood, but not always, which was originally worn by the indigenous peoples of the Arctic designed to keep them warm and protected from harsh weather
Back Apron (Negbe) - an oval-shaped decorative pad worn by Mangbetu women over the buttocks in Central Africa
Backstrap Loom - a lightweight, mobile loom made of wood and a strap that is wrapped around the back; it only needed to be attached to a tree or a post for stability and to provide tension
Banyan - a loose-fitted informal robe or gown typically worn by men in the late 17th to the early 19th centuries
Barbette - a piece of linen which passes under the chin and is pinned at the sides, usually worn in conjunction with additional head coverings during the Middle Ages
Bark Cloth - fabric made out of bark from trees
Beadnet Dress - a decorative sheath dress made of beads worn in ancient Egypt
Bloomers - a bifurcated garment that were worn under dresses in the 19th century; they soon became a symbol of women’s rights because early activist Amelia Bloomer wore drawers long enough to stick out from under her dress
Bogolanfini - (bogolan- meaning cloth; fini- meaning mud) a cotton cloth made from strips of woven fabric, which are decorated with symbolic patterns using the mud-resist technique, sewn together at the selvage to create a fabric that is utilized during the main four stages of a West African Bamana woman’s life: puberty, marriage, motherhood, and death
Bombast/Bombasted - the padding used to structure clothing and create fashionable silhouettes in the 16th and 17th centuries
Boubou - an African robe made of one large rectangle of fabric with an opening in the center for the neck; when worn it drapes down over the shoulders and billows at the sleeves
Buff Coat - a leather version of the doublet that was often, but not exclusively, worn by people in the military in the 17th century
Bum Roll - a roll of padding tied around the hip line to hold a woman’s skirt out from the body in the late 16th and early 17th centuries
Burqa - an outer garment worn by Muslim women that covers the entire body, often with a cutout or mesh at the eyes
Busk - a flat length stay piece that was inserted into the front of a corset to keep it stiff from the 16th century to the early 20th century
Bustle - a pad or frame worn under a skirt puffing it out behind
Cage Crinoline - a hooped cage worn under petticoats in the 19th century to stiffen and extend the skirt
Caraco - 18th century women’s jacket, fitted around the torso and flared out after the waist
Carrick Coat - an overcoat with three to five cape collars popular in the 19th century and mostly worn for riding and travel–sometimes called a Garrick or coachman’s coat
Chantilly Lace - a kind of bobbin lace popularized in 18th century France; it is identifiable by its fine ground, outlined pattern, and abundant detail, and was generally made from black silk thread
Chaperon - a turban-like headdress worn during the Middle Ages in Western Europe
Chemisette - a piece of fabric worn under bodices in the 19th century to fill in low necklines for modesty and decoration
Chiton - an ancient Greek garment created from a single piece of cloth wrapped around the body and held together by pins at the shoulders
Chlamys - a rectangular cloak fastened at the neck or shoulder that wraps around the body like a cape
Chopines - high platform shoes worn mostly in Venice in the 16th & 17th centuries
Clavus/Clavi - decorative vertical stripes that ran over the shoulder on the front and back of a Late Roman or Byzantine tunic
Clocks/Clocking - decorative and strengthening embroidery on stockings in Europe and America during the 16th-19th centuries
Cochineal Dyes - come from the Cochineal beetle that is native to the Americas and is most commonly found on prickly pear cacti; when dried and crushed, it creates its famous red pigment that is used to dye textiles
Codpiece - originally created as the join between the two hoses at the groin, the codpiece eventually became an ornate piece of male dress in the 16th century
Cuirass Bodice - a form-fitting, long-waisted, boned bodice worn in the 1870s and 1880s–almost gives the appearance of armor as the name suggests
Dagging - an extremely popular decorative edging technique created by cutting that reached its height during the Middle Ages and Renaissance
Dalmatic Tunic - a t-shaped tunic with very wide sleeves; worn by both men and women during the Byzantine empire
Dashiki - a loose-fitting pullover tunic traditionally worn in West African cultures that was adopted by African diasporic communities as a symbol of African heritage in the 1960s and then more widely worn as a popular item of “ethnic” fashion
Dentalium Cape - or dentalium dress is a garment worn by Native American women that is made from the stringing together of dentalium shells in a circular pattern around the neck and across the chest and shoulders
Doublet - an often snug-fitting jacket that is shaped and fitted to a man’s body–worn mostly in the 15th to 17th centuries
Échelle - a decorative ladder of bows descending down the stomacher of a dress; worn during the late 17th and 18th centuries; sometimes spelled eschelle
If any of these words make their way into your next poem/story, please tag me, or leave a link in the replies. I would love to read them!
More: Fashion History ⚜ Word Lists
#word list#fashion history#writeblr#dark academia#spilled ink#writers on tumblr#writing prompt#terminology#poetry#poets on tumblr#literature#light academia#studyblr#linguistics#lit#words#fashion#culture#worldbuilding#creative writing#writing reference#fiction#writing tips#writing advice#writing resources
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Carrick chuckled with her when he playfully hinted she had been the one calling him old. "Nah, that's just me. Guess I shouldn't have started partying so early." Not that it was a lie but partying hadn't been what made Carrick feel like he had lived more than he actually had but that was not something Rayen should hear nor he wanted to share. Not when he haven't felt so comfortable with a woman in a long time. As she offered to help, Carrick's eyes kept sliding at her now and then as they both worked around the kitchen. "Ah, yeah, I heard about it." He nodded, taking a sip of coffee and hald snickering when Rayen mentioned she hoped he'd be working, too. "Hm, not this time, sorry. Since it's a bachelor's party Randy puts just one guy at the bar and let the ladies get the tips. And it was my turn last time so it might be Freddie or Davis shift." He explained. As both started to cook, the kitchen got filled with smell of toasted and fried and it took him a lot to force the memories of a domestic scene like this from days long past off his mind and focus on the present, although he struggled to come up with something to keep the conversation going and he scratched his beard while he went through something to say. "Any luck with that teaching job?" He asked then.
"Black coffee is the best coffee. No better remedy to wake up properly after a night out."she chuckled. "Nooo, that's not what I mean!"Rayen said with a light laugh, sure he was older from her but she didn't see him as an old man. "Are you telling me that as a warning for once I turn thirty-five?"she asked with an amused grin. "Eggs sound perfect, actually."she said and moved towards the fridge to see what else he had in there. She pulled out some cheese and oranges he found at the bottom to squeeze out orange juice. This felt nice, Rayen hasn't gotten close with someone in quite a while, let alone share a breakfast after a hot night spent together. "Hmm? Oh, I do, yeah."she mused while going through the cabinets to find glasses and fetched a knife from the counter to cut the oranges. "There's a bachelors party tonight, some guy named Jonathan is getting married. So it'll be a busy night."Rayen said with a shrug. "Please tell me you're working, too, or I won't be able to survive all those drunk men without my partner behind the counter."she teased and glanced his way.
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A million years ago, someone asked me if I'd write a series that mimicked canon but with Tobias Carrick as head of the Edenbrook Diagnostic Team. While I don't have the bandwidth to take on a series at this point, as I'm doing my Open Heart re-read, I will rewrite select scenes that I think could be interesting.
The first one is that first night at Donahue's. I may have forced myself to finish this tonight just so I could read @alj4890's version before I go to bed tonight! lol Amanda, my fellow Tobias ho, I'm so glad you're taking this trip with me.
Book: Open Heart Book 1 / Chapter 2 That first night at Donahue's Pairing: Tobias Carrick x Casey MacTavish (F!MC) Rating: Teen Words: 1,445 Series: If it were canon... AU Summary: Casey and her new friends are celebrating their first day as interns at the renowned Edenbrook Hospital. When her attending, Dr. Tobias Carrick arrives, he can't take his eyes off the beautiful young woman, even though he knows he should. When she joins him for a drink, will the two of them be able to fight their attraction? Or will they give in?
A/N: Participating in the @julychallenge Pink: Playfulness, Warmth Black: Attraction
After a grueling sixteen-hour shift, Dr. Tobias Carrick opened the door to Donahue’s, desperate for a brief escape. He hadn’t been to his usual watering hole for the past couple of weeks, not since his messy breakup with the pretty nurse from Peds. He knew the probability of her tossing a glass of Merlot onto his expensive threads was real and best to be avoided. But tonight marked his grand return. Tonight, his need for relaxation made the threat of a hefty dry cleaning bill worthwhile.
It hadn’t been your typical day. The universe decided that the usual life-or-death matters weren't enough. So, it threw in a new class of interns and all the “joy” that came with them. There was a surprise visit from the Director of the Board and, to add insult to injury, a long phone call with his mother. Yes, tonight, he needed the poor lighting and the scent of stale beer that only his home away from home could provide. He nodded to Reggie as he settled onto his barstool, and within moments, his usual drink appeared. Finally, he was ready to unwind.
As he sipped his bourbon, his eyes wandered across the room, settling on the tiny dance floor in where a group of new interns were swaying to the sounds of Marvin Gaye. At least they have good taste in music, he thought, as he was about to turn back to the bar. But then he noticed a mane of golden hair thrashing about, accompanied by a radiant smile that threatened to light up the room. Dr. Casey MacTavish, was a new intern he met in a rather dramatic manner at the start of the day, and he hadn’t been able to get her off his mind since.
He couldn’t peel his eyes away. Her movements were a little erratic, to say the least, but there was no denying she was sexy as hell. Her laughter rang out over the music holding him captive. He took another sip of his drink, feeling a twinge of something he shouldn’t feel for an intern smoldering inside. He had a reputation for the artistic way he managed to blur lines, but as her attending physician, he knew this was one he shouldn’t cross.
He turned his attention back to his drink and was relieved when Reggie came over to discuss the Red Sox’s post-season chances. It was a welcome distraction, but despite his best efforts, his thoughts kept drifting back to Casey. He turned back ack to the dance floor, but she was gone but, luckily, not for long. A raucous chorus of wolf-whistles drew his attention to the side, where a new surgical intern Tobias had already dubbed “Ken” had the object of his attention bent backward as he feverishly kissed her.
“That lucky son of a bitch,” he mumbled under his breath.
The moment Casey was back on her feet, she tossed her head back with another infectious laugh, and despite Reggie’s attempts to pull him back to the conversation, Tobias was lost.
“I get that she’s prettier than me,” he finally heard Reggie laugh. “But does she know the Sox as well as I do?”
Caught, Tobias grinned sheepishly. “I don’t know, man,” he replied. “She strikes me as someone who could surprise you.”
“Yeah,” Reggie smiled, drying off a tumbler. “Well, she strikes me as someone who is making her way over here. Don’t look now, boss, but...”
“Hey! Do you mind if I join you?”
Her voice was melodic, and if he thought she looked gorgeous across the bar, seeing her up close was a bit too much... even for him. The delicate blush on her cheeks and playful giggle made it clear she caught him eying her from head to toe. Normally he was as smooth as silk... but he already made his first misstep. But who could blame him? Her smile, those blue eyes, the way her denim cut-off shorts clung to her body, showing off her... assets... that top that left little to his overactive imagination...
Casey cleared her throat loudly and motioned to the empty stool beside him. If she were being honest, she was reveling in the level of control she appeared to hold right now. “So, may I?”
“Of course,” Tobias replied, unable to hide a smile.
“What has you so dazed?” she teased, slipping onto the stool beside him.
“You just... you look different outside of work.”
“Different good or different bad?”
“Different,” he said, turning to her with a smirk. “You looked like you were having fun out there.”
“Yeah, burning off some steam. If I can’t celebrate my first day as a real doctor, what can I celebrate?”
“True, true."
Just then, “Ken” approached the bar to order two beers. Tobias glowered his way, but "Ken" didn't notice one bit. He was too busy winking at Casey before rejoining his crew.
“I see you’ve made some quick friends," Dr. Carrick observed.
“Of course I have," she beamed, trying to discern… was he jealous? “With all of this charm and personality... I practically have to fight them off with a stick!"
Tobias laughed so much his eyes crinkled as he motioned to Reggie. “Two specials,” he smiled. “I hope it’s not too forward of me to buy you a drink.”
“Hell no!” She winked. “You know what I earn; feel free to buy me as many drinks as you want.”
God, he was impressed. Tobias Carrick was a known flirt, a master in the field, so he knew when he met a match and holy shit, did she have it. He didn’t want to steer the conversation back to a more appropriate topic, but he felt like he should.
“So, how was the first day?”
“It was... challenging, but that’s the name of the game, isn’t it?”
“Sure is,” he nodded. “When I first came to Boston, I was interning at Mass Kenmore, and let me tell you....”
The two began to trade war stories of med school and, in his case, beyond. Their boundaries softened more with each sip they took. The conversation flowed easily, marked with laughter and, occasionally, a brief touch that felt like sparks igniting under their skin. Without realizing, Tobias leaned in closer, hanging on her every word. Beauty and brains were one thing, but her charm and wit gripped him and didn't let go.
“You know,” she said, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “I didn’t expect to see you tonight. Do you come here often?”
“More often than I should probably,” he grinned. “It’s my go-to place after a long day.”
“Well, it’s easy to see why.”
He let out a snort. “Please don’t tell me because of the ambiance.”
“Of course not!” she replied, nudging his shoulder. “It’s the great company! I mean, it’s clear that I’m already your favorite, and here I am!”
“Oh, are you?” He chuckled, no longer able to deny the warmth building inside him. She had him mesmerized and all but forgetting “the rules.” But he was Tobias Carrick, and rules were made to be broken... weren’t they?
“So, the guy over there... the one you were kissing...”
“Bryce?” She asked, taking a sip of her drink as Tobias’s eyes fell to her lips; never had he been more jealous of a straw. “He’s cool. We just met today.”
“Damn!” Tobias exclaimed. “Does everyone you meet get a kiss like that?”
“Nah,” she smiled seductively. “Only the ones I lose bets to.” Meeting his eyes, she built up her courage and spoke with a flirtatious lilt. “Anything you care to wager, Dr. Carrick?”
That was it. He barked out a laugh, his eyes on fire. Yeah. He may have met his match.
“You’re something else,” he smiled, then his voice became lower and took on a more serious tone. “You know, I know we’re supposed to keep things professional, but you are not making it easy for me.”
“Yey," she clapped, "then it’s working!” Her face became serious, and she lowered her voice, too. “I definitely feel something here, Tobias, but I'm not stupid. I know this would be... complicated.”
“Mmm,” he hummed. “But complicated doesn’t mean impossible. If you ever wanted to find a workaround, you just say the word.”
Casey’s eyes searched his. They looked at her so intently she had to remind herself to breathe.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” she whispered. Sensing the shift, Casey's nerves got the better of her, and she glanced at the clock on the wall. “I should get going. Early start tomorrow and all.”
Tobias nodded, masking his disappointment. “Yep, and I heard your attending is a real asshole.”
“I don’t know,” she smiled. “He's impressed the hell out of me so far."
Tobias bit his lower lip, fighting the urge to take this to the next level with all his might. This woman was going to be trouble.
“Good night, Casey. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he replied, never taking his eyes off her as she walked away.
Tobias sighed as she left with her friends. This was going to be complicated, but there was no way he was letting her slip through his fingers. Some things were worth taking a risk for, and there was no doubt in his mind that Dr. Casey MacTavish was one of those things. He finished his drink and threw some bills on the bar to settle his tab.
“Hey! Leaving so soon?” Reggie hollered.
“Yep!” Tobias smiled. “I want to get a good night’s sleep. Suddenly, I’ve got a lot to look forward to tomorrow.”
~~~~~
Agh! This was so much fun! WHy didn't I do it sooner! lol
@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics
Tagging others separately.
#open heart#open heart fanfics#open heart choices#choices open heart#tobias carrick#tobias carrick x mc#tobias x casey#if it were canon... au#choices fanfic#playchoices#playchoices fanfic#choices stories you play#canon rewrite
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Book Notes: The Mask of Mirrors

There are plenty of books you enjoy reading. You read a little here, you read a little there, and when you finish, you tell people, "Hey, that was a good book." There are books that you pick up, put down to get something else done, and then you don't get back to for another week or sometimes a month. And there are the books that you devour. The plot and the characters fill your every waking moment. You find yourself carving more and more time out of your day for reading or listening because you need to know what happens next. You sit idle in your car for far longer than you should after you get to where you're going because it means just a few more minutes of listening to the audiobook. The Mask of Mirrors and its sequels are some of those books.
Rook & Rose is a Venetian-inspired historical fantasy trilogy by M.A. Carrick, the pen name of co-authors Marie Brennan (A Natural History of Dragons: A Memoir by Lady Trent, which I wrote about last year) and Alyc Helms (Adventures of Mr. Mystic), who met on an archaeological dig in Wales and Ireland. Their shared love of anthropology makes for a colorful tapestry of traditions, religions, and magic systems, and their time spent playing tabletop role-playing games together is what inspired this story.
Ren is coming back to the city that took everything from her. With her blood-sworn sister Tess in tow, she is determined to con her way to the top and take what she is owed. Nadežra, a port city and melting pot of cultures and peoples, is ruled by the colonizing Ligante nobility, while its native Vraszenian people are looked down on as lesser. It is into one of these Ligante families that Ren, a half-Vraszenian by birth, plans to inserts herself. Posing as the prodigal daughter of a long-estranged sister seeking reconciliation, all Ren needs to do is fake being rich long enough to be written into the Traementis family register. Then she and Tess will have enough money to live well, and escape from their troubled pasts, until the end of their days. Tess's skills with a needle and thread get her most of the way there, and Ren is able to pull off the rest of the transformation with the information she gathered and jewelry she stole while working as a maid for the disowned Letilia Traementis. The head of the family has her doubts, but her children are thrilled to accept Ren, or "Renanta Viraudax" into their luckless and diminished family. Just as everything is starting to fall into place, Ren starts running into problems: interference from the city's centuries-old hooded vigilante, the Rook; secrets held by Derossi Vargo, a Lower Bank crime lord with plans to make it big; the emergence of nightmare creatures from Vraszenian folklore, tied to a person from Ren's past who haunts her; and a plot to destroy the Wellspring, the heart of the conquered Vraszenian people. Now she must try to save a people who rejected her for not being wholly Vraszenian, all while trying to keep her many different masks from slipping.
This series sucked me in completely. The writing is seamless, especially for coming from two authors. The political drama and cleverly revealed secrets kept me listening well into the night. The audiobooks are amazing, with a fabulous narrator who differentiates well between not only the large cast of characters, but the different roles Ren takes upon herself. They're also a great way to consume small chunks of a relatively thick set of books. (Listening to the series did mean that I spent way too much time verifying the spelling of everything in this post, but you do what you've got to do.) All I'll say about the rest of the trilogy is that my husband pitched it to me as "Batman and Catwoman" vibes, and it delivers. I can't wait for M.A. Carrick's next series out in 2026, The Sea Beyond, a historical fantasy duology of scholarship, conquest, and faerie magic set in an alternate Spanish Golden Age.
— Becca
#island books#becca oman#book notes#ma carrick#mask of mirrors#rook & rose#a natural history of dragons#adventures of mr mystic#marie brennan#alyc helms#the sea beyond
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January Monthly Recap:
I'm pretty behind in putting these up because I got super sick in January and it's thrown off the whole beginning of my year! I had grand plans for what I was going to do in January (and February, March, etc.) and they got totally thrown out the window. While I was sick, I read quite a few books (mostly by Ilona Andrews lol), but I also watched a lot of TV that totally sucked me in so I didn't read as much as I might have expected. My favorite of the month was Swordcrossed!
Swordcrossed by Freya Marske: 5/5
The Mask of Mirrors by M. A. Carrick: 4.5/5
Burn For Me by Ilona Andrews: 4.5/5
White Hot by Ilona Andrews: 4.5/5
Wildfire by Ilona Andrews: 4.5/5
Diamond Fire by Ilona Andrews: 4.25/5
Blood Heir by Ilona Andrews: 5/5
The Four Profound Weaves by R. B. Lemberg: 2.5/5
Navigational Entanglements by Aliette de Bodard: 3/5
Love After the End ed. by Joshua Whitehead: 2.5/5
Too Many Magicians by Randall Garrett: 2.25/5
Sapphire Flames by Ilona Andrews: 4.5/5
Emerald Blaze by Ilona Andrews: 4.5/5
Ruby Fever by Ilona Andrews: 4.25/5
The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson: 2.25/5, dnf
Sword Dance by A. J. Demas: 3.5/5
Magic Bites by Ilona Andrews: 5/5, re-read
Frontier by Grace Curtis: 3.5/5
The Thread That Binds by Cedar McCloud: 2/5, dnf
The Gargoyle's Captive by Katee Robert: 3/5
Shoestring Theory by Mariana Costa: 4.25/5
Goals below the cut:
Complete series: +3 caught up on/finished, -7 started/new book (-4)
Catch up on backlists: 6/203 (+6)
Read FIYAH/Nebula/Hugo finalists & awards: 143/202 (+0)
Read down TBR: end of January 1579 (+3)
Read old top-of-TBR list: 0 (+0)
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"Yeah, wow indeed." Boxing had been almost his whole life, he didn't remember a time when he hadn't done it, or actually he did but it was still a bitter time he preferred to forget. This sport, his job, was all he had, Chey had seen that part too, but he was tired and after so long, he was also ready to move on to something else. "I guess fell happy is better." Carrick chuckled and then nodded. "That's why I'm training harder than ever, I'm not even smoking." He shared proudly since it was a habit he never quit during other fights. "And I was hoping you'd say that." Pulling his wallet from his jacket, he grabbed a couple of tickets. "These are for you. I got a handful since it's the last one, you can go with someone or sell them, up to you. But I do want you there." He admitted. "I know it's not the best time, especially the aftermath of it but it'd mean a lot. My family's coming, too. It'll the be the first time my mom's gonna watch me live. I'm not betting she'll stay through the whole fight." He added with tease. Carrick kept smiling as Chey tried to get more of him. "Come with me. It won't be as fun to tell you." He drank the last of his coffee in a long gulp and slowly got up, waiting for Chey. "You'll be the second person to know about this, that much of a secret it is." He said in an attempt to convince her if she wasn't doubting. "And it's a ten minute walk."
There was something always so grounding and sensible about Carrick. There were times Chey could be erratic or going through a particularly hard time, and it always seemed Carrick knew what to say. The funny thing is she knew he wasn’t always trying to fix her situation, he just happened to always say what she needed to hear without knowing. She gave him a warm smile and nod, but her expression quickly changed when she heard of his retirement. Though he was a damn good fighter, a part of her couldn’t help but feel relief. Even when they were around each other more, she always worried about him. All it could take was one wrong blow to the face to mess things up significantly. “Wow,” she breathed out and nodded. How strange was it that they both seemed to come together again right in the middle of a crossroads in their respective careers? “That’s huge. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad.” She chuckled and added, “But I’ll have to be there for your last fight. I have a feeling you won’t go quietly.” She always supported him and cheered him on, even during their rockiest times. Whenever he hinted at his next adventure in life, she took a sip of her coffee and drew her brows together. “See it? See what? What do you have up your sleeve, Maddox?”
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closed starter for;; @spellbindingnights
After another busy Saturday night, work was almost for Carrick, the last thing to do was cleaning up the place. The kitchen staff got the back covered and there was him to take care of the front, this was a regular thing for him, although tedious it was kind of relaxing and today particularly it was more entertaining as one of the waitresses used the stage to practice her songs. Jolene had a beautiful voice and he Carrick enjoyed listening to her; what he wouldn't ever disclose was the fact he also found her incredibly gorgeous since he was her boss; it didn't affect there friendly relationship in the very least as he wasn't a creep and just as with everyone else in the staff, Carrick kept a respectful distance.
"Now, that sounded good." Carrick congratulated Jolene from behind the bar as he wiped the counter of all the spilled liquor. "How're the shows going?"
#perdón que tardé siglos! y salió cortito porque estoy de vacas y con la cabeza en cualquier parte jeje#carrick: threads#carrick ft jolene#carrick ft jolene 01#spellbindingnights
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Thread tracker is obviously behind, so I will attempt to update that today. Gonna try to write a couple replies and get them into the queue before my appointment. (Due date in 17 days - pray for us lol).
As I'm in my drafts, there are some threads I'm going to be dropping. As always, I apologize, but please feel free to hit me up if you'd like to start new things!
@missautumn - Ella & Carrick and Brooke & Otto
@huntrcssqueen - Kevin & Evelyn
@theknifeinyou - Dani & Cory and Kyle & Ilyana
@breannasewell - Prince & Bree
@fantasyandthereal - Martin & Allie
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Chapters: 1/? Fandom: Rook & Rose - M. A. Carrick Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Ren/Grey Serrado (Rook & Rose), Ren/Grey Serrado/Derossi Vargo (Rook & Rose) Characters: Ren (Rook & Rose), Grey Serrado (Rook & Rose), Derossi Vargo Summary:
The primordials are gone from the world, and they are rebuilding a Nadežra that reflects all the people who live there. Vargo's no longer a nobleman, but he has a seat on the Setterat, and he can help change the city from more than the bottom up. He should be happy. But mostly, he's lonelier than he's been in more than a decade. Luckily, those closest to him have noticed, and Ren and Grey have some ideas about how to reconnect with him.
#rook and rose#mask of mirrors#the liars knot#labyrinths heart#ma carrick#renata viraudax#grey serrado#derossi vargo#m/m/f#rook and rose spoilers
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It was another busy night at the bar so Carrick was behind the bar with other of his employees, it wasn't a huge or fancy place so the staff wasn't numerous and he was fine having something to do instead of being in the upper floor where he had his apartment since he usually didn't go to sleep until the bar closed anyway; on slow nights he either read or watched sports if anything called his attention, even more rarely, he sometimes went out with a woman. Tonight though, he was glad to gave something to do.
The blonde at the bar that hadn't moved since she got there had caught his eye a while ago, she kept looking at her phone and Carrick guessed she must have been waiting for someone but no one showed up after a long time of waiting. He'd seen it a lot, the body language, the facial features, to know someone hadn't stood her out. He grabbed the bottle of wine and moved to serve another glass. "You good, sweetheart?" He asked, almost with a drawl. "You're too beautiful to look so down for someone who didn't show up."
closed starter for @missautumn
She was doing her best not to look disappointed or out of place, but the longer she sat there alone, the more she felt like she stuck out. That it had become painfully obvious she was being stood up. By a Tinder date of all people - something that should have been a guarantee for at least a round of drinks.
A defeated sigh escaped her as she pulled out her phone for what felt like the thousandth time and found her inquiry to Paul's whereabouts was still left on read. What a bust! Somewhat disappointingly it looked like it was going to be a 'take myself out' kind of night. She finished off the glass of wine she'd been nursing for the last hour and motioned for the bartender on duty for another.
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