#cartman centric

[pcstan]

Beware, the two things the South Park fandom hates most; Women and Adults.

[hatsunevitu]

i can’t stop thinking that, as the series continues, we’re getting more and more kyle being really involved into everything that is related to cartman. remember the first, uh, i don’t know, ten seasons? what was the scheme? “cartman does something bad, kyle gets involved because of his sense of justice”, right?

but now cartman doesn’t even have to do ANYTHING bad for kyle to interfere like dude??? he was just talking with no harm caused WHY WOULD YOU GET SO MAD FOR NO REASON, KYLE

and i keep seeing this tendency especially strong ever since the season 20/21 when there was a heiman arc, and i LOVE it so much because it’s so funnier and kyman-like now im losing my mind

we’re getting obvious hints from mattrey guys mark my words

[gaystan]

PRESENTING ME AND @11x13kyle's FIRESIDE CHATS WITH KYLE AND ERIC AKA NICHE INTERNET MICROCELEBRITY AU:

cartman and kyle host a podcast called fireside chats with kyle and eric that’s basically just red scare, cartman is dasha and kyle is anna

they're constantly beefing with each other on twitter and some people are convinced it's staged to promote the show but kyle just hates cartman That Much

a majority of their listeners are just there for the occasional mention of their batshit childhood experiences amongst all the terrible political takes

like "umm i don't wanna hear this insane opinion on al gore i want to know more about how you guys swear that he tried to get you to help him kill manbearpig when you were 8"

fans wonder if these events are true or if they're enabling each other's schizophrenia

cartman is always saying the worst reactionary things while kyle's takes are deceptively normal until he hits them with one that makes listeners go hey WHAT?

kyle resents being called a reactionary but cartman LOVES it, wears the label like a badge of pride

there is CONSTANT discourse about whether or not cartman's antisemitism is ironic or not, with the reasoning "why would kyle be friends with him if it was genuine," and kyle regularly takes to twitter to say "IT IS NOT IRONIC."

kyle peaks the mic multiple times an ep yelling at cartman, says they'll edit it out in post, never gets cut because neither of them can edit

reddit posts go up are after every episode giving timestamp warnings for when kyle gets super loud

cartman has a christian music era, gets tradcath allegations and does little to discourage them

there are people who rpf ship kyman. cartman knows about this and tweets at fans asking them to send him fic recs

secretly jacks off to them

has a bit where he gives a shout out to his favorite kyman fic of the week and kyle breaks the mic every single time screaming at him

he posts unbelievably cringy "ironic" thirst traps to his instagram story at night and "ironic" drag pictures but the outfits and makeup are too good to be a joke

he also posts pictures of butters in bed with like bites on his neck to brag about getting hot tail but it's also just as unsexy

this is how he accidentally comes out, he was so distracted by the need to flex that he forgot he's still trying to beat the gay allegations

the "ironic" kyman fic jokes stop being funny

butters is adam friedland and kenny is the girl he cheated with

the butters show is cohosted with dougie and part of the alt right pipeline

stan is kyle's offline boyfriend in a B list rock band and wears fireside merch on stage sometimes

this includes the isis shirts which he swears up and down he didn't know were isis shirts

deeply apolitical by choice so whenever kyle talks to him about podcast stuff he nods along like whatever you say honey

he still listens to it he just tunes out of the political talk

the day his fans find out he's gay is the biggest day for them since his 2021 single hit the hot 100

everyone analyzing his old lyrics like oh my god. this was about a MAN. it all makes sense.

kenny is a twitter microceleb and socialite, much like with cartman controversy is part of the brand

gained thousands of followers over the butters cheating discourse

thirst tweets about kyle and they're secretly unironic

comes on fireside and rates youtubers he's slept with, kyle is disgusted and cartman is delighted

chapo trap house is craig and those guys

[victimized-martyr]

to what degree do you think Cartman will grow to be a better person?

According to Trey’s commentary in Tsst, it doesn’t take much: Discipline, a firm male figure in his life. And now, implied by the end of Pandemic Special and towards the end of P.C, time away from friends who enable him are the ingredients for a better Cartman.

As little as it takes for him to be grow, it’s also just as easy for him to regress. Liane giving in on one occasion reverted what was months of firm parenting. A stagnant Kyle in P.C spurred Cartman’s paranoia, and reverted him back to his scheming 10 year old ways. He thinks he’s being talked down to and self sabotages out of spite at the end of Future Me. I think also a contributor to his Cartman-ness is how South Park itself doesn’t let him stay good for long, meager as his attempts may be on occasion. He’s the adults’s scapegoat (Bass to Mouth) as well as the Kids’s (Good Times With Weapons). the kids encourage Cartman to retaliate against Pc principal instead of letting him accept detention, and they smash his things while he was sincerely attempting to be PC.

Anyways, Cartman’s demonstrated he can be good in PC— he’s the father he never had, a loving (perhaps overzealous) husband, embracing the religion he’s constantly belittled.

While it was one off gag in Future Me, Cartman was inspired by end of the episode to study and work at his appearance. His future-self was proof that if he really wanted to, he can turn his life around.

He has the capacity to come to to right conclusions, (“should I just apologize to my friends and ask them to take me back, and tell them I was being a selfish jerk? Admit I was wrong and ask for forgiveness?”) He just… doesn’t have the discipline nor the humility to do so. (“Nah, screw that! I’m just gonna keep being a fucking dick!”)

At this point, we’ve experienced both extremes of the spectrum of goodness Cartman lies— his worst as a homeless drunk, the bastard boob-job narcissist he is now, and his best as a self made millionaire, or a family man devoted to his faith, or the obedient little boy who does his homework before school and eats a gay ass grapefruit for breakfast.

It isn’t a question to what degree Cartman can be good, because he’s shown to be good in various ways. The question is whether Mattrey/ the town of South Park will allow him to realize his potential. Given the very recent circumstances of The Hot Dog… well, it remains to be seen.

[chlorophyll-tints]

i caved. i started south park 💔💔💔

[honey-creek]

when clyde is playing mosquito it fascinates me so much. his personality changes to this confident, brave, outspoken and /compassionate/ kid. I like to think that's how he truly is deep down, far away from peer pressure from his friends :(

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Okey this is my moment.

PLEASE SHARE YOUR FAVOURITES KYMAN FANFICS 👉🏻👈🏻🥺.

AIGHT DUDE I GOTCHU

•The Stag Prince By SynapticFirefly BRO LITERALLY THIS IS MY ALL TIME FAVORITE KYMAN FIC (naturally I mean it is sot and you know I love elf Kyle) the characterization of both Kyle and Cartman is phenomenal, their dynamic works, the slow burn starting out hating each other, and when I say THE GANGS ALL HERE I love that shit the side characters slay so hard and the PLOT!!! THE ANTAGONIST!!! It’s so good man I definitely recommend this

•Knives by SparrowGrim dudeeeee this is one of the instances of me clicking on a fic without reading the ship tags, and I’ve reced it before because it was INCREDIBLE!!! I need to do a reread. Dark urbania, Kyle centric, SUCH a cool plot line. Mob boss Cartman. Kenny Craig Wendy and Stan are hitmen. Damien running a rival gang. Shit gets DARK and it’s so good.

•alright so if you want a smutty rec, THE WHOLE OMERTÀ series by gosh_zillah !!!!! Literally the “violence as foreplay” tag is what drew me in I was intrigued and they don’t feel out of character at least to me, which is a reason I shy away from kyman fics a lot of the time, but these five fics WORK!

The thing about kyman for me is that it has to be characterized a certain way. Like, I wouldn’t pair any of the way I write Kyle with a villain Cartman. There’s gotta be nuance there and these fics DELIVER

[numbknee]

Why do you think Kyman gets so much hate? I can understand some things about what people don’t like about it but some of the things they say, the harassment is so out of pocket. Especially on Tik Tok! It is like a battle ground out there and they all will shoot you down immediately if you SAY anything. I just wanna love Kyman without it seeming like a punishment 😭😭

Dude I totally feel you. It's so much easier to live and let live so I don't understand how these ppl have the energy to be so aggressively hurtful all the time. This has been said before ad nauseum but for god's sake, it's JUST a fucking tv show. I'm too old for this shit.

(longer explanation under the cut! like... extremely long lol I'm so sorry my thoughts about this have been building up for a while 😅)

I think the extremely aggressive kyman hate is a symptom of growing poor media literacy and the larger "purity culture" trend that's been present online for a while now. It's very reminiscent of American Evangelicalism or Puritanism, where members of the church have to follow a very specific set of rules for behaving and thinking and if you deviate from those rules in the slightest, you're shot down immediately by the community and shamed for being sinful and blasphemous, all to keep you on the "righteous path" and avoid burning in hell for eternity. This is why so many puritanical christians in the US hate themselves for doing what most of the world sees as normal behavior, and simultaneously force that self-hating worldview onto others to "save" them. (For example see this video by FD Signifier on youtube explaining how hardcore religious ppl/conservatives are doomed to be bad in bed because they see sex as "evil" when in reality it's a normal part of human behavior 😬 It's long but very good).

Though, it's important to note that ppl who think this way may not even be christian themselves, but the behavior is so pervasive in american culture that you absorb it even if you're not a puritanical christian. (for example, to quote Ian Danskin, athiests may think "I don't believe in god, but the god I don't believe in is Jehovah). Tons of the first generation of white USAmericans were exiled British puritans who were kicked out of their home country for essentially being self-righteous assholes and trying to force their shit worldview on everyone else lmao. And I think because so many online spaces are so USAmerican-centric, people from all over the world have started adopting that purity culture as well.

Now, South Park is extremely popular (duh). It's been around for decades so it has a ton of fans both old and new. Unfortunately a lot of new fans, especially young people, follow the show for very different reasons than the average normie/not-terminally-online viewer does. They take the characters out of their original context, use them like dolls to make their own stories and fan content, and ignore all the other blatantly controversial shit that's been going on in the show since day 1 (which is why so many exclusively make blasé creek fanworks imo). They want to keep their thoughts "pure" and only engage with content that's approved by the puritanical online community

It's extremely fitting but also sad that Cartman is the scapegoat for everything wrong with South Park, both in the show and in the real world. Either ppl don't want to acknowledge he exists, or ppl latch onto him and project all of that puritanical hatred toward him or anyone that likes his character. Hell, even I'M guilty of this kind of thinking before I watched the show and understood Cartman's character better.

Kyman in particular is a target BECAUSE it involves Cartman, but also because people boil it down to shipping a nazi with a jew which, at the surface level, seems horrible! But if you've ever actually WATCHED the goddamn show, you know that is an extremely reductive and inaccurate interpretation of their characters. It's horribly poor media literacy. These ppl CANNOT seem to comprehend that you can enjoy watching a character who's a "bad person" without condoning their actions, and that enjoying the shipping dynamic of such characters DOES NOT make you a bad person by proxy.

A huge role of fiction as media is to explore ideas that may be harmful in the real world in a safe way because... *gasp* it's imaginary!! It makes you think and experience emotions you may not have the opportunity for otherwise! However, in the eyes of puritans, the fact you're even thinking about something like that makes you a sinner. It's a thought crime, which is why they consider us mentally "sick" for shipping kyman. So, they send hate at the drop of a hat and publicly vilify kyman shippers to reinforce that behavior with each other, all to say "Hey look at me!!! I'm a Good Person! see how much of a Good Person I am??? I'm gonna go to HEAVEN, and YOU'RE going to HELL". Like I said before, it's not that they necessarily believe in heaven or hell, but that's the general root of the behavior. It's performative puritan dog-piling. Also, because they haven't even fucking watched the whole show, they conveniently ignore all the other horrible shit the show portrays because random kyman shippers online are easy targets while Matt & Trey are gajillionaires who are essentially un-cancellable for things they do on the show at this point because, to quote Trey: For anyone to go up and go "Did you see this thing on South Park? That was really offensive" someone's gonna be like "Dude shut up 😒 that's just South Park".

Geez man this got super fucking long lmao. But my advice is to please take care of yourself because, and this super cliché to say, but FUCK the haters dude 🖕🖕🖕 You're engaging with media that brings you joy and exploring interesting ideas with a community of awesome artists/writers/meta-analysts and more. This is supposed to be FUN!! Anyone who tries to take that away from you or shame you into stopping is a fucking immature, holier-than-thou asshole who needs to get a fucking life. The block button is your friend, so use it early and often. You have the power to curate your own online space, and you shouldn't subject yourself to dealing with these dickheads (this is a big reason why I don't have a tiktok lol)

Good luck dude, and keep on shipping kyman 😎🤘❤️💚

[kestalsblog]

What are your thoughts on Eric x Wendy?

Could be together as a couple, as enemies, frenemies, frenemies with benefits, friends, project partners, anything.

Do you like them in canon, fanon, AUs, have you ever thought writing about them, and anything that comes to mind?

Wendy rocks! She's smart, cute, and tough as nails 😤

I don't really ship her with Eric, though. Maybe it's because I can't see her putting up with his bullshit for long. I can't remember episode names ever, but the cancer one where she beats the crap out of him is SUCH a good episode. One of my favorites. Put him in his place, girl!

I also love the one where she starts crushing on him because she's so relatable in that ep. At some point, we all fall for someone toxic despite thinking to ourselves, "What the hell am I thinking??" I don't think that infatuation (like canon proves) would last from her end, though. If there was going to be anything between them, I'd see it more as one-sided from Cartman. She does have that intelligent, feisty spirit we know he likes.

All that being said - I haven't really thought about writing them together, but I think the way I picture them best is frenemies! (I do wish I could figure out some women-centric fics though 😭)

(Also, now that I'm trying to picture this ship from a more romantic/sexual angle, this is a case where I can't figure out who would be the more dominant one in their relationship LOL. I just can't imagine Wendy submitting to Eric. Maybe the master dominator has met his match?)

[skribz202]

Okay more writing today.

HEADCANNONS FOR KYLE AND BUTTERS!!!

AU: None

Kyle:

Trans masc/Bisexual

Big FNaF fan. Also loves Matpat

Plays mainly story-centric games

TikTok dancer (Cringe but free)

Twitter rambler

Like writing (Has written fanfiction before)

Goes boxing with Tweek

Plays Basketball with Clyde and goes home with Wendy after her Volleyball practice

Him and Stan regularly have sleepovers. Kyle enjoys his company

Tolkien has a shared school news account on Tumblr with him

Kyle and Ike play Team Fortress 2 together

Does know how to play DnD

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Butters:

Demiboy/Pansexual

Massive cartoon enjoyer

Has brought things off of Etsy before

Is learning how to draw (Is very talented)

Can play the flute

Thinks Hazbin Hotel is scary (Same with Helluva Boss)

Lady Gaga fan

Knows all the FNaF lore (Does not like FNaF)

Adores musicals (Favourite is Frozen)

Is in the Trolls fandom (Kins Branch)

Babysits Karen from time to time

Him and Cartman watched the Eras Tour concert together and cried

Gets stuck in the weirdest locations (Once got stuck in a blanket)

ADORES CATS

[gaystan]

TLDR MICROCELEB AU: FOR THOSE WHO CAME IN LATE

mostly set in la. as the name suggests, the premise is that the south park characters are late 20s niche internet microcelebrities.

kyle and cartman are reactionaries and run a deeply controversial cultural commentary podcast called fireside chats with kyle and eric

they’re both incredibly active online and just as divisive outside of the podcast

stan is an offline apolitical industry plant B list rock musician under the name crimson dawn

kenny is twitter and instagram famous, and slutty

butters hosts his own interview-centric podcast, the butters stotch show, with dougie, and it’s part of the alt-right pipeline

craig and those guys have a podcast as well and tweek is their producer. craig is the leader, tolkien is the most likable, jimmy is the funniest, clyde is straight. their “commentary” consists mainly of hating. somehow more liked than fireside but this is because they’re involved in MUCH less drama

wendy is a liberal vice journalist

bebe is a makeup, gossip, and storytime vlogger and constantly trading in the other’s names for clout

nichole has an asmr and gaming channel, and is a Decent Person

cartman and butters were secretly together for a long time until butters cheated with kenny and it was a MASSIVE ordeal

when it comes out that stan is dating kyle the drama is very taylor swift and matty healy

wendy and kenny are in a secret situationship that makes both of them insane

eventually stan and kyle have a daughter and son who are extremely shiv and kendall roy

[11x13kyle]

> watching south park episode

> ask trey if the episode is randy centric or if it’s about the kids

> he doesn’t understand

> pull out illustrated diagram explaing what is randy centric and what is about the kids

> he laughs and says “cartman is there sir”

> it’s randy centric

[victimized-martyr]

hi❤ i love your blog and your tags 🥺❤ could you share a list of your favorite kyman fanfics plz

WAAAA thank you!!! 😭✨

The Stag Prince is a fandom classic. It’s south park’s stick of truth meets swan princess. I’m usually adverse to aus, but this was so true to the source material in terms of dialogue and tone that I couldn’t help but fall in love. It’s incredibly funny, all the characters get their moment to shine, it’s a really well crafted story overall. 

Put The Fire Out on Us is another fandom classic, still being written! who knew the push Kyle and Cartman needed was them getting stranded in the woods together, eh?? 

Slam Dunk is kyman being insufferable boyfriends. Kenny and Stan are there (silently fighting for their lives). 

I. LOVE Hands . Tt’s rare that I find a canon aged kyman fic that manages to capture the complexities of their dynamic. As friends, as rivals, as…. “something”. 

Leonard Cohen, Bruh : Fixit fics for Post Covid are in criminally short supply. Rainbow_convection fuckin delivers!

Hypothermia Love fics where Cartman’s obsession over their rivalry shines. A good demonstration of what ppl mean when they say the difference between love and hate is a fine line.

get up, get up, (wake up, wake up) I adore numbknees’ writing, and it’s an absolute honor this was inspired by my silly kyman rants about Cartman’s sa trauma that affects how he canonically views sex and love. I assure you, I’ve read it a normal amount. 

Creep is not an absolute fav, but I really like stan’s characterization in this fic, especially when the author goes into detail about how he processes his thoughts and his aversion to change. (I know, weird thing to love in a kyman centric fic). I also love the exchange between kyman halfway thru the story. 

Know Your Enemy : Be not afraid of the tags! Remember that South Park itself has done far more crude, and inappropriate things. It’s incredibly vulgar, with so much heart. Just like South Park itself. What I love most about the fic is how elsen is able to put Cartman’s delusions and twisted logic into words, and for Kyle, his rigidity and tendency to justify every single thing he does into words. Both are unreliable narrators, but the reader is able to see through their bullshit all the same. What a gift of a fic. I can’t wait to see where it goes. 

Kyle is a B : The world doesn’t have enough Married Kyman Shenanigans! And what a shame. This fic also stays true to  the craziness of the show (the fact the the underpants gnomes are referenced, just 🤌🏼 that’s an instant win in my book) You can definitely tell they’ve been married for over 10 years in this fic. so so good.

The Rules focuses more on their mutual obsession, the hopelessly-intertwined-for-better-or-worse aspects of their dynamic. 

Green Eyed is playful jab at the skinny cartman trope, and how Kyle would react to a skinny cartman. 

Vice Versa approaches the switched bodies trope earnestly and so beautifully and gets kyman to understand each other better and also reflect on themselves. Delicious character deep dive. Also, it’s damn hilarious. 

Bella Note Kyman, from Stan’s perspective!!! 

Jew Magic Saves the Day Takes place right after the scene in s7 where Cartman wakes up next to a naked Ben Affleck. Can you tell I love fics where Kyle makes Cartman feel safe ghfjkdh 

Seriously : Protective boyfriend Kyle my beloved.  

Ashtray : I am absolutely WEAK for the religious themes in Kyman works. The paragraph detailing Cartman’s revelation is something that sticks with me to this day. I get chills.

How To Live a Lie is a really well crafted fixit for the mess that was season 20. No heiman necessary. Honestly after reading this I was pretty upset that the show never went down this route because it even addressed Kyle’ arc abt giving up gay speeches? Like im still upset the show hasn’t fixed that yet. Damn I love this fic. 

[firefly-sky]

That’s kind of on the writers tbh, I think they felt he was too similar to Stan and changing a lot of aspects about him to make him more different. Sometimes I like to imagine Kyle eventually meets someone who genuinely makes him happy and he is more like his old self around them. But that is simply for my imagination alone, because the writers “cough” TREY, don’t want him to be happy or have him simply deck Cartman so he could go about the rest of his day. Everytime I realise it’s going to be a Cartman vs Kyle episode, I immediately skip it because I don’t want to watch my favourite character be angry and upset (for fair reasons) for 22 minutes while the antagonist just gets a laugh out of it and barely faces any consequences by the end. Lik

I miss old season Kyle. I’m convinced M&T hate him. After HumanCebtiPad it was kinda just confirmed for me. They always seem to put him in the worst situations. Even Kenny doesn’t get thrown around as much as Kyle.

I don’t even bother with the new seasons. I watched the Prince of Canada episode because I’m into the Royals and their drama and whatnot but of course it had to be Kyle they moved next to and harassed. Like I get it’s Matt’s self insert but damn.

He doesn’t get screen time unless he’s fighting with Cartman anymore. I wish we had more Kyle centric episodes. Cartmanland and Cherokee Hair Tampons remain my favorite episodes solely because of Kyle.

[pivatex]

okay so like- this is a kyman safety space, aswell as any other ships you like! meaning: 🚫NO JUDGEMENT🚫 (but its still kyman prompts 😇) ❗CARTMAN CENTRIC ACCOUNT❗ (also kyle)