#cash yells in the tags because therapy is expensive

[vstheworld]

my FAVORITE part of dealing with my mother is now that she is Having Symptoms, suddenly it’s permissible and necessary to try every medication under the sun whereas I was simply expected to try harder to stop having symptoms

[bunnychargebolt]

Im going to give my parents shaken baby syndroms Im- hhhhhhhh vent :3 (gonna put any warning stuffs in tags)

I am so just- am eepy. I want to sleep. It is fucking 2:30 in the morning. But I cannot! Because I am hungry! And my body is fucking not doing good! And I can not do anything about it because I do not have food.

But for whatever reason!! My mother!! Who eats the least in this household!! Continually has her stuff stocked!! She fucking- eats like two of the jif to go cups of peanut butter for lunch. And that is like- her lunch. And that just fucking works for her. Which is because she got fucking weight loss surgery.

Im

Hhhhhhhhhhhh

I do not have enough food. And honestly I probably havent had enough food in months. Because instead of eating i sleep. Because my body shuts down. And I am trying *so hard* to get across to my parents that I need food. I am- hhhhh honestly prolly qualifying as anorexic speaking strictly on eating patterns. Which ik for sure my mom is.

And also my irl friend keeps talking about hes gonna starve himself. And im- hhhhh. Theres so many fucking tjings going on with him and theyre bad and I havent talked about them and im going to fucking lose my mind. But thats not even what im focused on right now.

I dont know if i can continue physical therapy. Because it is not guaranteed that i have food. And my parents say that money is tight. But my mother is constantly getting a bunch of stuff. And we have so much shit. And im- i camt handle all of this.

I cant ask for anything without being told that im asking for a lot. My mom ordered in dinner for me and my brother the other night bc she got a thing through work and i asked for what I know would be enough for me and I got told that thats too expensive. Which i understand. The cost of shit is fucking insane. But there is so much fucking focus on cost and portion size and “oh tjat costs too much” “oh youre asking for a lot” “dont forget that this is what a portion size” and even fucking talk of like calories and checking even though i ask for that to not happen.

People tell me to take some of their food because they have plenty and I get it but Im fucking terrified. My mom had locked up a shit ton of food when i was a kid including freezers. Which to this day still have the locks by them. And if im caught she wont hesitate to do it again. I cant go through that again.

I know I cant really get out. Im genuinely scared of my parents. I- cant. I cant get out. I cant leave stuff. Im terrified. Fuck i don’t remember ever not being scared of my mom in some capacity. And my dads way more passive but sometimes he yells and I just- cant do it. And i hate that what they do works. I get shoved into being this fucking doormat of a person.

Honestly I dont think I ever really got to be a person. I still dont super feel like one. I dont have complete control over myself. I dont feel like i have free will. Which sucks. I wanma be my own person. I wanna learn what itd feel like to be able to be myself for even a day. Im- just lost a lot of the time.

The only good thing I know for sure is coming out of this is that I know my depression medication works. Im pretty sure most of my issues with functioning are from malnutrition issues. And im def not suicidal or having thoughts of sh which is really nice!! Plus I know I have a very supportive group of friends online that I love very much

Wuheiwhe speaking of friends- angy about irl friend. He fucking- complained to me that he gets upset when i vent about shit at home cause hes gonna get kicked out when he turns 18. Which likw- i get it. The threat of being homeless is horrible. But if your thought process while you have fucking unwatched access to a credit card and can essentially have whatever the fuck you want while im saying i dont fucking have food at home is “well at least you have a home” IS FUCKING INSANE. Especially because you have already gathered almost $1000 in cash amd still have like 11 months to figure shit out. Your future situation sucks but that should not take away empathy for my current situation??? Where i am??? Not getting fed enough???

I understand that your homelife is shit and your family is fucked. However, you almost never get told no. Which is really fucking obvious!!! Because you wont take any of my nos for an answer!!! And tbh youre kinda financially abusive!!! I hear how you talk to your bf which is fucking insane and i hate it. And when you talk about how you pay for gas when im using my parents cars and they need to be filled and i say were driving around too much and using a lot of gas you go “well its my gas” No!! It isnt!! That is not how that works!! And just because you pay for the fucking gas WHEN YOU HAVE ME DRIVING FUCKING ALL OVER THE PLACE BECAUSE I LITERALLY CANNOT GWT YOU TO UNDERSTAND IM SAYING NO does not kean you pay for the rest of the fucking car!!! You also!! Make jokes about taking back gifts!! Because you paid for them!! Which is shitty as fuck!! And its not even your fucking koney its your grandmas money and you got fucking pissed and bitchy when Ive mentioned that when talking about it being different when one of our friends took advantage of us for money because you are just handed it and the stuff i had i workwd for, in a job that started the decline of my physical wellbeing. Its not the same fucking thing.

Im

Shaking. I want to scream. I cant. Handle everything. I dont want to have to be here and dealing with all of this.

And anothwr fucking tjing about ky friend- he gets pissy when me or his boyfriend accidentally leave garbage in his room. Which i get a little but then he doesnt take care of it either!! And then he has shit there all the time!! Including multiple unfinished starbucks drinks that have grown mold!!! Why do you keep getting the biggest fucking size when you know damn well you wont drink it.

And you keep fucking- i cant play therapist for you. You cannot constantly come crying to le about your bf and talking about how you should break up with him AND THEN GET KAD AT ME FOR SUGGESTING YOU BREAK UP WITH HIM

Im not- i cant. Im

Im violently angry. And i want to sleep. Amd i wamt to be able to have food. And i want my oarents to love me and understand me. Or even fucking- to try. At all. I want my physical wellbeing to matter. But it doesnt. In multiple different ways. And its all just so bad all the time and i try and tune it out but it slips through.

Im having trouble remember things. Its bad. Im- i cant use my brain as well as i know i should be able to. Im- idk. I just cant fucking deal with this. Except im still going to. Im complaining but theres mot kuch i can change.

I hate feeling like im breaking all the time. I want to be able to be loved and be a person and have a home!!! I have a roof over my head. And i appreciate that so much. But this is absolutely not a home. And its very much not welcoming for me. And I just- I perpetually have the feeling of “i want to go home” with no home to go to. And its been like that for most of my life. And I just- really want to have a home.

[ezilyamuzed]

Everyone Needs a Sam- Chapter 6

Series Masterlist

Summary: Two Sam’s in the Winchester family is better than one. Reader is Named Sam, or sometimes called Red, a nicknamed given by Dean.

Warnings: Language. Mentions of Menstruation (you know because some people get grossed out). A little fluff and a touch of angst.

A/N: So sorry that this took a while, but life happens. There is only a few more chapters left to tie it up into completion. This has definitely been interesting to try and write with the whole body switch thing, but somehow I think I pulled it off. It’s 3:30 am, so sorry for any confusing (more than usual) parts.  

As always comments and feedback are welcomed (GIVE ME LOVE). Any errors are completely my own because I am human. If you want a tag in this or anything pop into the ASK box. Thank you for reading! Enjoy!

The little diner was a full of paying customers, happily shoving their faces in the food in front of them. The young waitress who looked like she was ready to keel over in exhaustion stopped suddenly in her tracks when she looked over at you.

“You need a table darlin’,” she smiled.

“Um, yeah. Two please,” you mumbled back.

She turned on her heels quickly and cleaned off a table in hurry for you and Dean to sit at. You gave Dean a confused look at her sense of rushing to get you both seated in her section. He just shrugged and walked over to seat himself down while you followed close by.

“I’m Angie. What can I get you to start with?” she almost purred while lightly touching your arm…well Dean’s arm.

You flinched away, startled at her touch while you gave a ‘help me’ look to Dean. You saw the grin moving up your face as he chuckled in satisfaction.

“Two coffees miss,” he stated after clearing his throat to get her attention.

She glared towards him, unaware that the female body that she was staring at held the real owner of the body she was just drooling over. She gave him a fake smile before leaving to retrieve your drinks.

“What the hell was that?” you leaned over the table to whisper.

“That was one of my favorites,” he smirked. “Flirty and direct waitresses.”

“Ew,” you replied while turning up your nose. “You are a pig.”

He gave you an ‘oink oink’ before wrapping his arms around his chest.

“Jesus it’s cold in here. Your nipples are like fucking daggers.”

“You’re the one who opted to not wear a bra,” you chuckled.

“Yeah, the therapy is going to be expensive enough after this. I’m not getting near that torture device.”

She came back, tray in hand holding the fresh pot and two mugs. She sat the mug in front of you gently while almost slamming the one in front of Dean. A slight smirk grew in the corner of your mouth watching Dean give a ‘what the hell look’ to her.

“Have you decided what you would like sweetie,” she almost cooed to you.

“Um, yeah. I will have the pancakes, bacon, and sausage,” you replied. “And she will have the strawberry waffles with extra whipped cream and a side of well-done bacon.”

“If you need anything else, just holler,” she winked while walking away with an extra sway in her step.

“Sammy, you know I get all tingly when you take control like that,” Dean winked. “But I could have ordered for myself…something better than that.”

“Dude, shut up. Trust me, I know what my body is craving right now,” you laughed while setting yourself back. You could feel your insides turning fiercely like you hadn’t eaten in days. “Why am I so damn hungry?”

“Yeah, that usually happens every morning. It takes a lot of calories to look that good.”

You could feel the gurgling moving through you, giving you discomfort that you needed to eat something quick- preferably something jam packed with carbs and calories.

“Remind me to shut up when I complain that you ate the last Twinkie,” you smirked.

“Will do Red,” he quipped back. He sat back and looked around at the crowd while you tapped mindlessly on the table. So odd it was to not have long finger nails to worry about breaking. Surprisingly Dean actually kept his pretty well manicured for someone who constantly plays in dirt, grease, and various bodily fluids from something. Dean let out a sigh before snapping you out of your thoughts. “So…you want to explain what happened back there in the shower?”

You could feel the heat rising through you in embarrassment towards your situation. Shifting in your seat you thanked the entities above that the waitress was coming back with plates in her hand. Perfect timing. She sat both plates down gently on the table before whisking away to a complaining customer in the corner. Dean glared at the meal in front of him and scrunched up his nose.

“They murdered this with whipped cream,” he commented while moving it around with his fork.

“Just shut up and eat it. You will thank me in a minute.”

He grumbled something before sticking his fork in and digging out a giant bite. As the mixture of the waffle, berries, and cream met his mouth you could see the surprise running through him through your eyes.

“Damn this is amazing!”

You smiled and let out a laugh while chopping on a piece of bacon. “You’re welcome.”

The two of you finished your meals at a record pace. At one point Dean was practically licking the plate clean.

“Ugh! I am so full,” he stated while patting your once flat stomach that definitely had a food baby present.

“I could still eat,” you said while looking around. Your eyes met the little display stand where it stood. Pie. Damn that sounded amazing. You raised your hand for the waitress to come back, her record speed towards you almost knocked down another in her way.

“Hi, yes,” you smiled while pointing at the case. “I’ll take the pie please.”

“Anything for you sweetheart,” she grinned while giving a quick wink.

Watching her go and retrieve the pie you gave Dean a little smirk.

“I could get used to this.”

“Don’t get too comfortable there Sam,” he glared, showing you the same exact bitch face you had given him so many times before. Damn it was scary on the opposite end. “I’ll be back. I gotta take a shit.”

“Very lady like there De-anna,” you laughed while watching him walk away. “Ladies room, remember!”

“Here ya go honey,” the waitress hummed while setting down the mouthwatering apple pie in front of you. Not hesitating you dug right in, shoveling it quickly down into your mouth. You didn’t even care to notice that she was still standing there above you.

“So you just passing through…”

You cleared your throat while rolling your eyes. Could this lady not take a hint?

“Listen, um Angie, right?” you said while giving her a serious look. “You seem like a nice girl. Hell any other day I am sure that you could definitely get a guy like this…like me, I guess, without a problem. But today is a little weird right now. Also I am kind of stuck with someone right now, it’s all a bit confusing.”

“Ah, so it’s serious huh?”

“I guess you could say that. We are practically the same person,” you smirked while watching Dean now coming out of the ladies room. He was giving you a disgusted look as a stupid idjit reached out and grabbed towards his backside. You couldn’t really react besides giving a surprised and shocked “O” face as he slammed the guys face down onto the table top. The waitress Angie now looked terrified as he walked back over. You shuffled out of the booth quickly, dropping cash down on the table. “Yup. That’s my girl.”

You grabbed the pissed off Dean’s arm and dragged him outside, while trying to hold back the laughter bubbling up. Of course you were a little upset that a guy had thought it was a great idea to touch your ass, but the fact that it was Dean who got to receive it was fucking hilarious.

“Why the hell do guys think they can do that,” he fumed while walking in a faster pace back to the hotel.

“What excuse do you want to hear? ‘The way you were dressed, you must have wanted it’, ‘It was just a harmless hello’ or ‘It’s all fun and games sweetheart’”

“I’m going to go back there and murder him,” he sneered while trying to turn around back to the diner. You grabbed at him again, pulling him away. Damn, you were strong when you get angry.

“Come on, no murders today. Remember those are my finger prints they would find on the murder weapon.”

In a sarcastic and annoyed scoff Dean followed you back to the room. There had been no word from Charlie or Sam yet, and Cas was still off trying to find ingredients to reverse the spell, so you were now stuck alone. Alone in a hotel room, with Dean stuck in your body, and you stuck in his. The situation sounded like a weird sci-fi movie…or a really good porno. Dean flopped down on the bed and let out another annoyed sigh.

“I’m bored now.”

“Congrat-u-fuck-u-lations,” you mumbled while turning on the T.v. Flipping through the channels aimlessly, Dean snapped up and yelled at you to stop.

“Dr. Sexy is on!” he squealed girlishly.  

“Okay, okay. Don’t start going all fangirl on me.”

“Shut up!” he barked.

“Someone is a little cranky,” you smirked while setting yourself down on the opposite bed. “How’s your stomach doing there? Cramping yet?”

You gave you a wide eyes glare. “Is that what that was?!?”

“What what was?”

“In the bathroom, it felt like I was in one of those lobster cracking things,” he blurted loudly making you laugh. “I didn’t know if it was just poop or if I was giving birth!”

Your sides started to ache as you continuously laughed. Dean was now glaring angrily at you while tears rolled down your face.

“Oh man, this is fun!” you said while wiping your eyes.

“Maybe for you it is,” he retorted back with sass in his voice. “You definitely had fun this morning with it.”

His comment snapped you out of your hysteria and you could feel the embarrassment rising up again. “That was an accident.”

“Accidents don’t happen accidently,” he grinned. “Now, hush. Dr. Sexy is on.”

You shifted yourself down on the pillows of the bed, making yourself comfy to sit patiently for someone to walk through the door to fix your ‘freaky Friday’ scenario. The episode was kind of boring. It mostly focused on a different doctor having to do some type of brain operation on his daughter’s best friend’s cousin, or something like that. You really didn’t pay attention too much as you kept getting lost in your thoughts about everything that had happened since you woke up. You shifted your glossed over eyes towards Dean, who was a crying mess. Seriously bawling his eyes out at the screen, making you furrow your eyes towards the sight.

“You okay there Deano?”

“The- poor-girl-has-so-much-to-live-for,” he cried while sobbing louder between each word. You got up and handed him the box of tissues that were on the dresser. He quickly pulled one out and shot a loud and wet blow into it.

“Dude, it’s okay.”

“Hold me Sam!” he cried while reaching out to you. He had tear stains and welts now all over your once smooth face. You sighed before sitting down next to him, letting him fall down into your arms. Instinctively you started playing with your long hair, humming a tune to soothe him down.

“That feels nice,” he whispered while snuggling into you.

“Yeah, a little petting and Zeppelin will do that,” you snickered as you continued. “I think you just had your first crash course on the magic of female hormones. Nothing like getting to experience it.”

“I will never think you are crazy again!” he muttered deep into you.

“Oh now, come on. Don’t say that,” you smiled. “I have my fair share of crazy ideas when I’m not all mixed up with a surplus of estrogen.”

“Yeah, that is true,” he giggled. “Like when you decided to use yourself as bait for that wolf pack.”

“Yupper,” you laughed. “And when I decided it was a good idea to down 3 of those energy shots to do that stake out with Sammy. I thought he was going to kill me for bouncing all around. But I do have to say, I was particularly ready and quick for when that cat jumped out of nowhere.”

The image of you jumping back and firing around at the sudden movement that had happened in front of you amongst some boxes. Luckily none of the shots landed on anything dangerous or alive for that matter, it had only been a little grey cat that sped off like a demon, unscathed, away from you.

“That poor kitty.”

“He survived. The wall…not so much,” you snorted. “That was in Albany right?”

“Yeah, why?”

That night where Dean had pinned you down and tickled you fiercely before surprising you with a little kiss flashed to your thoughts. There were so many unanswered questions. Like why did he do it? Why did he just leave after? Also, why hasn’t he mentioned it?

“Nothing… just seemed like after we left there you were a little different. That is all.”

“Was not.”

“Yeah,” you blew out a burst of air. “Okay. Whatever you say. You would practically run away any time it was just the two of us. Almost like a kid on a playground hiding away from their…”

“Crush,” he stated, interrupting you mid-sentence.  

“Yea, I guess…,” you moved back away from him. “So what exactly happened? I mean I know I was there that night, but even I have no fucking clue.”

“I don’t know…just curious I guess.”

“Curious about what?”

“How you would react. Your face kind of said it all.”

“Catching someone by surprise does not always mean that their initial reaction is the real one.”

“So…” Dean trailed off, waiting for you to continue on.

“So, I mean we were drunk ya know. Just laying around having fun like we always did. How was I to know what you were thinking before you literally laid it on me? It’s not like you really gave any hints before,” you replied somewhat nervously. Was this really happening. Were you actually having the talk that would change the dynamic of your relationship forever?

“So us hanging around all the time, you always calling the shots about what we do, and me trying to stop you from going off with sleaze bags didn’t give you any clue?”

“Well first, I like hanging out with you because TYPICALLY you don’t treat me like a weak little girl, unless of course we are on a hunt and then you try to push me back like I’m, what was that again? Oh yeah a Disney princess that needs saving. You tend to treat me like everyone else, so unless you are finally admitting that you are in love with Cas I don’t see how that proves anything,” you jabbed. “Secondly, you are the one who sits around waiting for me to call the shots about what movie we are going to watch, what restaurant we are going to eat from, hell even what kind of pie to pick up from the store! And thirdly, you butting your stubborn head into what goes on between me and those so called ‘sleaze balls’ only made you look like an asshole. Seriously Dean, if you would have just said something maybe we wouldn’t be sitting here and…and…”

“And what?”

“And maybe you would have known that I have started to feel that way too.”

Dean moved to place a hand on your cheek, using your (y/e/c) eyes, to gaze to you, into his green ones. You pushed you head back away from him, while shaking your head.

“This whole thing is too fucking weird. I mean, how can I be basically staring at myself and yet want to kiss you right now?”

He let out a sigh while running a hand through your hair nervously. “Yeah, definitely need therapy after this.”

“Well I’ll be right there with ya,” you grinned while pulling him close to you in an embrace, the warmth of your bodies together felt good as you both just rested together in silence. You could feel laughter moving through Dean as he pulled away, giving you a devilish smirk.

“So…tell me about that shower.”

“Shut up!” you laughed while hitting him with a pillow. His laughter only grew more as tears were now flowing down, barely being able to catch his breath.

“Hey, I can’t help it! I’m soooo fun to play with. You are too ya know.”

“Excuse me!” you blurted in surprise. “You did not!”

“Not to the extent that YOU WENT!” he laughed back. “But I have to say Sam, I did find some interesting spots that are sure to do the trick for what I want to do after this is all done and over with.”

“Oh really?” you raised your eyebrow and gave him a grin. “Hmm, this really did have its benefits. Very educational.”

He violently shook his head in return while mouthing “Very” in reply. As you laughed, the sound of wings flying into the room hit your ears and Cas stood tall in front of you.

“Oh thank you GOD!” you exclaimed while giving him a big hug.

“Has confusion or amnesia become another symptom that I am unaware of? Why is Sam calling me God,” he asked Dean in complete seriousness.

“Just really happy to see you Cas,” he smiled. “Did you get everything?”

“Yes I retrieved the necessary items. The scale of a dragon, a branch of the eternal tree, dirt that covered the fallen, and pubic hair from an amazon.”

Both you and Dean’s face turned into disgust as he listed the items. The last one left you both in confusion.

“Where did you…”

“We don’t have to drink that right?!?”

“It was not easy,” he breathed out. “And no, you just have to both face your faces smeared with it as the incantation is read.”

The two of you both grunted out an “Ew” before looking back to each other and in unison blurting out the word “shower.”

“Yeah, I will definitely need a shower after…”

“Maybe you can give me a hands on lesson about what YOU learned today,” Dean winked.

You rolled your eyes while watching Cas throw the ingredients into a large bowl. A smile rising up again as you laughed inside your mind about everything that had happened in less than 24 hours. Dean moved to have both of your hands interlocked together as Cas was finishing up smashing the ingredients together into a grey, tar looking paste. He glanced over at the both of you and cocked his head sideways at the sight.

“Dean, did you finally admit your feelings for Sam?”

The easy Sam joke made as short laugh escape from you, as you squeezed hands tighter.

“Yeah, Cas I admitted my feeling for Sam,” Dean replied while giving you a wink.

“I am sure coitus with Sam will be just as you imagined,” Cas announced proudly, making you completely lose it in hysterical laughter as you thought of what Sammy would have said if he was here to hear this. He always loved when the Sam joke was on Dean instead of him for a change.

Dean exhaled loudly while closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Yeah Cas, can we get on with this?”

“Yeah, let’s do this,” you added while calming yourself down, wiping a tear away.

Cas rubbed the gunk all over your faces rather quickly. Surprisingly it didn’t smell as bad as it looked. He chanted a few words while placing the palms of his hands down on the top of your heads. A burst of energy hit you, knocking you down onto your ass.

“What the hell was that,” you yelled while jumping up to your feet. You looked at Cas and then looked to your side where Dean, in his body was getting up from being knocked down as well. You ran your hands down your front as you looked down seeing everything that was all you back where it belonged.

Not caring about the goo all over your faces you jumped over to Dean, knocking him slightly back while placing a firm kiss on his lips. He returned it back just as fiercely as you heard an “Oh wow” coming from the doorway. Looking over there stood Charlie with Sam, taken back in disbelief mixed with confusion as to what exactly they were witnessing. You ran over and gave them both big hugs while exclaiming that it was you and everything was fixed.

“So Dean is back in Dean and Sam is back in Sam,” Charlie stated while glancing over to the younger Winchester.

“I, um…I have to go,” Sammy said while moving swiftly out of the room.

“What’s wrong with him?” you asked in uncertainty. Was he not happy that you were switched back? No, that couldn’t be it. It had to be something else. Charlie gave you an “oh shit face” as she looked over to Dean who was also baffled by Sammy’s actions.

“Um…yeah, we need to talk.”

 Bitch, Gimmie (You asked for it):  @waywardbaby @snffbeebee @curly-haired-disaster @waywardnerd67 @dean-winchesters-bacon @jaylarkson @ladywinchester1967 @hobby27 @wildefire @saltandburn-ilovesamwinchester

[vstheworld]

we hired just an absolute idle bouncing DVD menu of a guy. a real orange cat vibe. if you don’t give him specific instructions on what he should be doing he just. stands there like a sim.

yet we make the same exact pay! I love capitalism.

[vstheworld]

gender dysphoria got me not knowing what I look like anymore who the fuck even is this guy

[vstheworld]

easily my least favorite genre of customer is “I want Starbucks but I came to local coffeeshop instead to get mad that they don’t have the same menu as Starbucks”

[vstheworld]

realizing that having COVID is the longest I’ve been away from work, like, ever is uh

feels bad man

[vstheworld]

my least favorite thing in the professional world is getting pulled “just to check in” by a manager. It’s never just to check in, and they will not directly tell me what I’ve done wrong. when I ask, it’s all “oh, you didn’t do anything, I can just tell when you’re stressed”

SO I DID DO SOMETHING OTHERWISE WE WOULD NOT BE HAVING THIS TALK

why can’t you just tell me what I’m doing wrong so I can not do that thing?????

[vstheworld]

how am I expected to be in a headspace to work today

how are any of us

[vstheworld]

why am I paying $80 to Uber out to visit my mother if she’s just itching to turn it into a fight

[vstheworld]

my mother had a legit mental breakdown at my brother’s graduation, and ruined the plans for the day. I wound up taking my brother and his partner out for an expensive-ass lunch to try to rescue the celebration a little bit and make the poor kid feel like someone was proud of him. He made it through grad school while fighting crohns and he deserved at least a bit of fussing over I think

so tell me why I feel guilty about not preemptively reaching out to my mom yesterday after her breakdown even though I spent the day cleaning up her mess??? when will that impulse die???

[vstheworld]

family reunion in less than 24 hours

I’m giving it a day before I either a) blow up over someone’s ‘harmless’ political jokes or b) just straight up come out as trans at grandma’s funeral

[vstheworld]

unfortunately mania is. super fun.

[vstheworld]

my partner offered me a prep cook job at his pizza place and I cannot stop my instinctive bristling at the idea of accepting what (to me) feels like pity and/or charity even if he says it’s because he knows how I work and thinks I’d be really good

plus side, better pay and no more customer interaction. I never have to hear my coworker’s disco playlist again. I can wear whatever I want. I get along with the staff already. his bar manager is one of the kindest, coolest people I’ve ever met and it’d be nice to hang out with her more. they don’t always manage it, but everyone there tries real hard to gender me correctly.

downside, no healthcare or paid vacation—but if my current job stresses me out too much to ever use those things it’s not like they’re helping me anyways????

I have to make this decision in like 48 hours lol

[vstheworld]

the cool thing about parentification of your eldest child is that even when the younger ones are grown it never fucking stops

[vstheworld]

not my manager who is here today messaging me on my break to ask a not-remotely-time-sensitive question instead of waiting for me to get back