#cassie you coulda done so much better

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

no but “esme hardcastle being the reason the family tree is fucked up” is the laziest excuse ever like what

esme if i remember correctly was friends w jamie in the shadowhunter academy and she was a mundie who ascended, but she wasnt mentioned since then until chain of thorns ??? like what ??? she wasnt even with the group of girls in chain of gold

plus i remember cassie hinting that it had to do w the silent brothers since thats where the archives are, tf happened to that

it woulda been so dramatic if smth happened and jem changed the records bc of it, but noo. apparently they used a family tree completed by an obviously unreliable girl, and they kept using that for over a century and its still in use ??? surely someone wouldve noticed that alastair didnt have any kids and it was zachary who was continuing the carstairs line

like did no one in 1910 say “wait a second christopher and barbara lightwood both died years ago why does the family tree not say that they are dead”

not saying i coulda done better but i havent written five series w seventeen main books, one more series on the way, and four books left to be written

cassie youre so talented dont waste it like this it makes me angry

[87devices]

QOAAD

*SPOILERY REVIEW/THOUGHTS* 

I finished QOAAD a couple days ago and I’ll say I have some mixed thoughts on it. I am somewhat disappointed tbh but it also DID have its moments.

I have to say I felt this book had too many POVs. I didn’t like that. I didn’t feel like they were all necessary. All the POVs only ended up with me feeling very disconnected from the story as a whole, and the characters, even my faves at times. I think the POVs where one part of the problem, the other I am not sure. Maybe Cassie has too many projects on her plate or idk but something impacted her writing. Not just for QOAAD but I felt it in Ghosts of the Shadow Market stories too. It had a few exceptions but compared to The Shadowhunter Academy short stories overall, they just weren’t as good. :/ As much as it pains me we gotta wait like 4 yrs for TWP maybe its a good thing? The onslaught of books may have passed and TWP will get more focus. Im just gonna tell myself this to get through the waiting time OTL. 

I will start with thoughts on Emma and Julian as they are the main characters. 

I like both Julian and Emma’s characters, but I think they lost me somewhere at some point in this series as a couple. I can’t say exactly when but reading QOAAD I realized I didn’t care for them as a couple. I’ve seen this is the case for many others too. Was I very intrigued where the parabatai curse would lead? Yes, but that’s it. Now the parabatai curse, I wasn’t too satisfied with how that played out. I kinda was and I kinda wasn’t. I guess I was expecting something bad to happen some consequences but the rune just burned away and that was that. I loved when Julian got his emotions back and went all into head of the institute since I was a child mode. Like I know my shit I know what I’m doing. Then Dru being like “good to have you back, I missed your lunatic schemes” xD I love Julian scheming ok, lol but like with emotions.

I gotta say one of my favorite things about TDA and what I felt like was one of its strong points is that togetherness the Blackthorns had as a family. My favorite thing about Julian was his love for his kids cause they are his kids!! BUT I just didn’t feel it in this book. When looking forward to QOAAD I was looking forward to how they were all going to deal with Livvy’s death. The kids where gonna need Julian so much but he just wasn’t there for them ALL throughout the book which was my BIGGEST disappointment. At first he wasn’t there because he took away his emotions and separated from them, then he got back and because he was emotionless he couldn’t be there for Ty when Ty reached out to him clearly troubled and broken. Now, I don’t blame him. He was emotionless after all, but after he did get them back I feel like he didn’t make the effort to be there for them. It was like he didn’t remember the way Ty reached out to him before and the things he said to him about his plan. After he got his emotions he was all busy with the Horace-Cohort situation and his situation with Emma but what about the KIDS JULES?! ;_;  It was Ty who again sought him but he didn’t really try to pay attention to what was going on with him, during and after their little convo. It felt like 

Jules: oh btw you good? 

Ty: yeah sure 

Jules: ok im here btw 

Ty: K

Jules: K 

And that was it. He never found out about the necromancy or biting and just *sigh*. At least the biting is something he should’ve and would’ve noticed as Dru pointed out. Everyone was on their own basically and then in the end he and Emma are going on a travel vacay. Like what?! There was Helen but Helen is not Julian. She is trying to get to know them but Julian is the one who is basically their parent. There are 2 things I loved about Julian best, one was his willingness to do what needed to be done, and second was his care for his family and like I said, I did not feel it here. :[  I’ll say I do love Julian’s character, and more than Emma’s actually. Emma is just fine, but there is a lot more going on with Julian. Though neither are my faves in this series. But I love Julian xD 

THULE: ok so I was sobbing during this part. I couldn’t control my tears. All this broke my heart when we found out about how everyone’s fates turned out. I felt so sad for Livvy all alone there. Everything was just so tragic ;_;. I do found myself wanting for the POV to switch to see their friends and family freaking out about what happened to Emma and Julian. I’ll say it didn’t make sense to me how Ash went into Thule only like 5 minutes before Jemma and he aged up yrs yet Jules and Emma where there for a pretty long time too and nothing?? It was another reason I wanted the POVs to switch I was wondering if yrs where passing by in their world or what. I’ll say I did enjoy the pain and hurt Thule gave me lol. It was one of those moments where like I didn’t felt disconnected with the characters at all. I was very much feeling all the feels but it also felt like I left QOAAD and was thrust back into CoHF. It felt too much like TMI it was kind of a whiplash, like from TDA i went back to TMI then TDA again. 0.0  

Now to my faves

Ash!: He was one of my favorite things of this book! His character was so interesting. I have high hopes for his character. He is probably not all good or all bad but what I’ve seen of him from boy to teen he is more good and human than meets the eye. Cassie Cassie Cassie! Do we really need a 3rd evil Morgenstern? No, No Nope! He deserves the chance Sebastian never had! </3. ;_;

The way he shook when he was holding that sword with the Unseelie King when he was trying to make him kill Kieran. He clearly didn’t want to and not only that, he questioned WHY, like he thought you can’t just kill someone just because. Then in Thule we had Thule Dru talk about how she noticed he didn’t want to be there for Thule Sebastian’s executions, among the rest of things that happened there.

Now Ash and Dru, omg PLS I ship already! I cant wait for them!  

Ty and Kit!: My other faves, my babies. I am the most invested in them! I just knew they were going to be separated at the end of this. I had a feeling. Then they made that “To never being parted” declaration in the campfire and I knew for sure oh no, they are gonna part. ;_; Their fight in Lake Lyn broke my heart a little bit, tears were shed. It particular broke my heart how while they were both physically fighting, they were crying about it and the whole situation. Though I’ll say I also did like that Kit went to live with Jem and Tessa <3. I feel like he is in the process of finding himself as a shadowhunter and just as a person too. I love that Jessa will be like his family. I cant wait for Jessa being parents! Also the arc of them separating only to meet again yrs later with so much unsaid ugh I cant wait for them either OTL. I could drown myself in feels thinking about all the different scenarios in which they might meet again. ;_; Oh! When they were in the campsite and Kit was wondering why Ty didn’t went inside the tent with him right away was everything. His mind was just reeling with TY scenarios it was the cutest. 

I have to say I hope TY, KIT, and DRU, as they are our main characters are given priority in TWP no 10+ POVs PLS. (Ash gotta be in the POVs though ofc.) We only have 3 books with them. They deserve the focus so we can connect with them the most. Heck if there is no more than 4/5 POVs even better. We can get to know other and new characters without being in their heads as we got to love Ty without his POV in TDA. 

Mark, Kieran, Christina: Other characters I love too. What can I say? I love that this threesome happened. I think the initial delivery coulda been better, but I loved their ending. When I say their initial delivery I mean their coming together as 3. I LOVED that spark they had in LOS when we first could see that there could be something between the 3 of them like ‘OMG what?!’. But in QOAAD I feel like I didn’t get like a full understanding of how and why Kristina and Kieran came to love each other. We could all see the love, feelings, and intense connection between Mark and Kieran since LOS. Also the connection between Mark and Christina, but with Kieran and Christina I feel like it needed more development. They were suddenly very into each other when they hadn’t spent much time together after LOS events and Kieran left with Diego. I’ll say what did help that a bit was that it was actually pointed out by Christina herself, saying how what they might have (Kier+Tina) is probably not close to the connection Mark and Kieran do. Despite this I love how it eventually concluded with the three of them. It was bittersweet, like Kieran my boy <3 ;__; but I liked it very much. Have I said how much I specifically love Kieran and Mark because I do!!

Lastly, woah I did not see that coming with the clave leaving Idris. I’m shocked  they even agreed to that considering how prideful they are of their home. It is also like a safety cocoon for them. Im still processing, this is a huge change. It will be so interesting where the shadowhunter world goes from here. 

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes 21

David trilogy 

Book 21

A Jake book

Huh, starting directly from where the last book left off

No remembered that they have wings, Ax and Cassie are correct that the fall won’t kill them with their mass

Rachel and Tobias spot the falling cockroaches and catch them

And then we get the opening speal 

And again making no fucking distinctions between hork-bajir and hork-bajir controllers

Is there a reason teh yeerks don’t just use their stunning tech from here and book 44 to freeze groups of people and infest folks on mass?

So it is possible it wasn’t the actual president but a decoy

Tobias steals David some clothes. And again giveing the fucker time to practice while not in life threatening danger would have been a better idea

Marco continues to be a jackass

If only there existed insects with good eyesight that were incredibly common and known for flying distance like say? Wasps? Too bad those don’t exist.

Is that the same controller with a bald spot from 44?

So they had David sleep over at Marco and Jake’s house, and now in Cassie’s barn. I mean can’t ask any of their allies to help out with shelter

Jake continues to not make a distinction b/w his brother and the yeerk enslaving his brother

 Wow David didn’t like having to sleep in a barn, who’da thunk

Actually, cat poop is rather interesting to dogs as a snack b/c of teh extra protein in it

Honestly, this could have just been David trying out his morphs b/c practicing is good. But the writers aren’t good and I already know they’re putting shit in place to make him Satan so they don’t have to keep him around after the plot they wanted was over

So you put him in this situation, forced him into yer ranks, and now definitely threatening to get rid of him b/c he has other ideas for his life than you

Really, a fucking dragonfly is the first thing you come up with intead of wasp or bee?

… that’s not really how dragonflies hunt. They use their legs to trap prey, not headbutt things

...that’s not how spider

Jake just cause you and the rest of the animorphs are little bitches who think insects are gross doesn’t mean that they’re inherently gross looking

Fleas have cute little fang mustash esque faces

Ah so Visser 3 aquired a middle management dude… to organise how the room the meeting takes place will go. And didn’t just have the fucker infested

Jake randomly doesn’t feel like killing a bunch of helpless people for once

It was demonstrated with the firefight at David’s house that the kid and his dad are more fight than flight kinda people

… You know for a fact that David morphed lion b4 when he left the barn in the night

I don’t care about the foreshadowing. I have already voiced how uninteresting what the writers are doing is.

Again, portable kadrona things are a thing. Even if the charcters don’t know the yeerks should. 

Cassie, the fuck does typical males apply to a slug alien that you don’t actually know if they even have a gender. Huh, i miss read that but not deleating what i typed.

Also the motherfucker can take credit b/c he orchastrated shit and the minions are working for him.

Ax made a joke

Also those controllers that were envenomated, I’m just calling straight dead.

And also the knows they knocked out with those weights? Probably certainly dead from brain damage

Jake... you got infested once, you absolutely fucking know that their minds aren't pure yeerk. Jackass'

Heh. It was a trap.

And of course, Visser 3 isn’t allowed to be competent

So why the fuck does Visser 3 not react to ‘SHE bit me’ with all that he should have cause this motherfucker knows how fucking sexist andalites are

And there we see Jake decide that the new kid needs to die

On the one hand I hate false surrenders, on the otherhand the Animorphs have done that shit before so Visser 3 should know better

I mean Visser 3 isn’t wrong andalites are shitbags who’ll use you as a tool and toss you away when no longer useful

Yeah Jake’s definately decided to kill David by this point

See there’s a reason why even tho Rachel is my least disliked Animorph I won’t say that I like her

i'm still reminded that at no point have the Animorphs even suggested helping get David's parent's baclk

David clearly doesn't trust them and has no reason to

and frankly this coulda just been him trying to see his fucking parents again even its just from afar

Of course Tobias does say, morph owl

Yeah, i mean him catching the Animorphs spying on him would likely uh not go over well given he can't trust them and he knows that they'd hurt him to at the very least keep him in line. And he's aware that he knows to much for them to really let him live

i know his character as canonicly written is just gonna get worse but i'm going to enjoy him causing the Animorphs suffering

David’s actually a fairly good morpher if he can manage that, just not super knowledgable on the anatomy

Oh the writers remembered that horks are arboreal again. That’s convenient

Ax has jumping skills

Again David is a pretty good natural morpher

David beat Jake

To be continued

[lr-supernaturaladdict]

Abomination Ch. 04

Summary: What happens when the girl sent by the king of hell falls in love with the Winchester who refuses to love. What happens when she gets rejected by the older Winchester and she releases her inner demons. What’ll happen when the boys find out shes really a demon/angel hybrid after only finding out herself shortly before. Even being raised by the king of hell to know you were at least half demon didn’t prepare you for the roller coaster of loving and hating Dean Winchester. You only just begun to realize how much of an abomination you really were.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4: Sexual Tension is a Bitch

Word Count: 8159

Warnings: Strong Sexual Content, Swearing, Mentions of Cheating

Your POV:

It took another 3 hours to get back to the bunker, totaling a 7 hour drive from where the hunt had taken place to home. You couldn’t wait to get back into your own clothes after taking a hot shower, maybe relieving some stress yourself. Especially after you encounter with Sam at the gas station.

When the impala finally pulled into the garage you were out the door before it was even in park. “DIBS ON SHOWER FIRST,” you chuckled and gave them both the finger while you entered the bunker to run to your room.

It only took you a few minutes to make it to your room and as soon as you opened the door you saw your blue eyed angel sitting on the bed with a laptop. You couldn’t help but smirk at him and walk over to your dresser. “Heya Cassie,” you opened your top drawer in search for a pair of panties.

“Welcome home, (Y/N),” he glanced your way slightly and then looked back to the screen on the computer. “Bees are so fascinating don’t you think?”

You shook your head and laughed softly. “You and those damn documentaries,” you turned your attention back on the drawer you were searching through to find your black cotton panties. You needed comfort more than confidence right now. “I’m going to take a long hot shower before we watch any of those movies, okay?” you quirked your eyebrow waiting for a response.

“That is fine, I can continue watching this film about how honey is really made,” you hummed your response and threw your panties to the bed when you found them and continued to your next drawer to find a shirt. You were so preoccupied you didn’t realize that Castiel had been watching you intently, taking in your body as you swung your hips back and forth trying to make up your mind.

You finally decided on a long black shirt that normally would sit just above your knees, covering what it needed to. You grabbed it and quickly shut the drawer turning to face Cas, who looked almost guiltily at you. “Whatcha think Cas, pants or no pants tonight?” you giggled as his eyes shot open wider. You never really minded changing or being around Cas in minimal clothing, he never really showed an attraction to you nor did seem to mind.

“Whatever you think will be most comforting to you, (Y/N),” he quickly looked back to the screen to continue watching his documentary.

“Alrighty, thanks for the input Cassie,” you walked over to him to gather your panties you had previously thrown on the bed. “I’ll be back soon, don’t start that pizza man movie without me,” you shot him a quick grin and kissed his cheek, accidentally hitting the corner of his lip. You had felt a spark on your mouth but quickly ignored it and left the room.

You walked quickly to the shower room and shut the door, not caring whether or not it was locked. You looked up into the mirror and stared at your reflection. “What the hell is going on today, first Sam said something almost defiantly and I could swear Cas was staring at me, almost hungrily,” you said to yourself and shook your head. It was all just your imagination, right?

You sighed and started to undress. As you got the shirt off and unhooked your bra, having a feeling as though you could breathe again, you remembered the radio you had put in the bathroom. You decided music may help your mood too.

You quickly turned on the radio and went over to turn on the shower, you had the radio on so loud you didn’t even hear the door open and shut.

When the shower was to your liking you pulled down Sam's sweatpants you had been wearing and got in. Just as you thought you heard a footstep the radio changed songs and you were instantly back to paying attention to your shower, singing along with whatever you could.

As you washed soap from your hair you had an uneasy feeling that you were being watched, but you quickly dismissed it as paranoia.

Dean POV:

Dean had finally gotten to his own bedroom and flopped down on his bed with a loud huff, landing with his face in his pillow. Mumbling something about how great it was to come back to his own memory foam bed, it always seemed to do a great job of remembering him.

He quickly let out a sigh and rolled over onto his side, staring at the empty spot on the bed. He could still smell you on the bedding and pillow. He couldn’t help but think about how much he enjoyed sharing the same bed with you after long nights of hunting and even longer nights of exploring your body. He wished he could man up and tell you how much you actually meant to him, but he knew he couldn’t. He had to keep you at arm's length in order to keep you safe. Sure you could handle yourself, better than any other hunter he had come in contact with, but he was poison. Anyone he openly loved died. He couldn’t lose you.

Dean quickly sat up and stretched, allowing him to crack his back and let out a content groan. He decided to keep being selfish, letting himself have you even if it wasn’t in the intimate way he wanted. Hell, he didn’t even know if you felt the same about him other than the physical attraction.

He knew you were beautiful, everyone knew you were for that matter. He’s seen how people look at you, even his damn brother and Cas looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing they had ever seen. How he had ever gotten so lucky as to have been the one you chose to give yourself to he would never know. You practically knew everything about him and yet you still looked at him with innocence, almost as though what he’s done didn’t scare you.

Dean stood up and started to walk towards his door, he needed a drink in order to keep all of these feelings buried. All he wanted to do was take you in his arms, kiss you with enough passion to make your knees weak and tell you he loved you. He just couldn’t do it and yet he couldn’t end the late night booty calls with you.

Dean had exited his room and was making his way to the kitchen when he heard a door close behind him. He quickly turned and saw Sam exciting the shower room.

“What were you doing in there Sammy?” Dean raised his eyebrow, questioning his brother.

“I thought I left something in there, turns out I was wrong,” Sam quickly turned and walked the other direction to avoid any more confrontation with the older hunter.

Dean huffed and watched him walk away before quickly making his way over to the room his brother had just exited from. When he was about to open the door he was quickly taken aback by you quickly opening the door.

“DEAN!” you exclaimed loudly, clutching the fluffy white towel you had draped around your body with one hand and holding a black shirt in the other. “Jesus Christ, you scared the crap outta me,” you quickly hit him with your shirt laughing. Your (Y/H/C) was still damp and was sticking to your face and neck. “Wait a second, are you what I heard while I was showering? You know if you wanted a quickie in the shower all you would have to do is ask, sweet cheeks,” you winked and pushed past him to go back to your room.

“What do you mean you heard something?” Dean quickly followed behind him, feeling his chest ache with something he was all too familiar with. Jealousy.

“Hmm, maybe I was just being paranoid,” he looked at you questioningly even though your back was turned to him and you couldn’t see him. “Coulda swore I heard footsteps over my music, guess I was wrong if it wasn’t you trying to be a perv.”

Dean stopped walking and clenched his fists at his side. He knew instantly what you heard. Sam had been watching you shower. He was so drawn by his anger he barely heard you talking to him. “As much as I love talking to you in just a towel and panties I have a date with my favorite angel and a stack of movies. Our little play date I promised is gonna have to wait handsome,” he looked up at you in time to see you give him a suggestive smirk before walking into your bedroom and shut the door.

Dean growled softly and started walking to his original destination, the kitchen. He would just have to confront Sam later, when the mark wasn’t burning as hot.

When Dean finally got to the kitchen he knew instantly he needed something stronger than a simple beer. He cracked open a bottle of whiskey and sat down at the table.

---

Dean didn’t know what time is was when he finally decided to go back to his room to turn in for the night, he just knew he was good and drunk.

He ran his hand through his hair as he made his way down the hallway to his room, only stopping when he heard something off. The sound seemed to have been coming from your room, he just shrugged and started walking again only to stop when he was right outside your door. Then he heard it again.

There was moans coming from the other side. He quickly shrugged it off, figuring it was just a scene from the movie you and Castiel had been watching. When he was about to start walking away again he heard a louder moan and then a scream. He instantly knew the scream was yours. The next thing he heard made his blood boil.

“CASTIEL!”

Your POV:

You had simply just been enjoying watching the porno with Cas when a very intense scene had come on. Making you blush brightly.

“(Y/N), are you blushing?” Castiel looked at you with his head tilted to the side.

“What!?! No, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just hot it all,” you chuckled and fanned your face with your hand.

“I know you’re lying, why are you blushing? Is the pizza man slapping the babysitters rearend making you uncomfortable?” he looked at you more seriously, squinting his eyes slightly.

You looked down to your lap where you were sitting with your legs crossed. “No Cas, it’s not making me uncomfortable at all. I’m just hot,” you chucked softly. You weren’t exactly lying, you just weren’t exactly telling the truth either. How were you supposed to explain to an angel that it was turning you on.

“(Y/N),” Castiel said sternly. “Just tell me, or I’ll simply make you,” he looked at you with a deviant smirk spread on his lips.

“I’m telling you the truth Cas, I promise,” you looked him in the eye.

“Alright, you asked for it,” before you had a chance to respond Castiel had you pinned on your back on the bed. His legs were over your own in a straddling position on your thighs and his hands were on your side. “I’ll give you one more chance to surrender and tell me why you were blushing,” he looked down at you with a small smile that you could see in his eyes. When you looked into his eyes you could see his pupils dilate slightly and he almost looked hungry.

Before you could answer your breath caught in your throat as his hands ghosted over your sides through the thin shirt you were wearing. You could feel something tightening in your stomach as warmth spread throughout your body and before you could realize it your cheeks were an even brighter shade of red. “Cas…” you swallowed thickly and shook your head slightly. In the dim light from the laptop and your lamp on the nightstand you couldn’t help but notice the way it bounced off of his perfect skin. The way his lump, slightly chapped lips looked when he smiled down at you. How incredibly beautiful his baby blues were even while they were being swallowed by blackness. And who could forget his messy raven black hair that looked so tempting to run your hands through it.

He didn’t give you a chance to say anything else before he was grabbing at your sides, tickling you without mercy. You couldn’t help but letting out a scream while trying to push his hands away, all but begging him verbally to stop. “I warned you,” he growled slightly.

He kept moving his hands and you screamed out his name. “CASTIEL!” you kept trying to squirm out of his grasp when all of a sudden you heard a loud slam of a door. Castiel immediately removed his hands from your sides and sit up quickly, just before you heard the sound of glass shattering. Castiel glanced at you and then back at your door before quickly disappearing.

You huffed and pulled yourself up on your bed. “Well this can’t be good.”

...

It had been a few days since you had last saw or even heard from Castiel. You only assumed that it had something to do with his heavenly duties, if only you knew what happened after he left. Dean had also started getting distant, well more distant than normal. Normally by now he’d be trying to get into your pants, again. Your angel and the man you loved were both practically ignoring you, and you had to admit it hurt like a bitch. You never did understand why you felt human emotion considering what you were, half demon and all, but you did and you couldn’t stop it.

So here you were sitting in your hotel room that you would be sharing with both Sam and Dean while on this hunt. The dingy eggshell colored walls were stained with cigarette smoke. The gross puke brown colored carpet looked as though it had seen its fair share of stains. There were two queen sized beds in which you assumed you’d be sharing one with Dean. You just happened to take it upon yourself to claim the one closest to the door, you always felt safest near the exit, just incase you had to make a quick getaway. There was a little fridge in the corner of the room right next to the bathroom door. The small table in the opposite corner already had all of your notes for the hunt scoured acrossed it and their duffle bags were sitting atop the two chairs. Yup, this place was a dump. At least the beds weren’t too stiff, nothing like Dean's memory foam one though.

You layed back on your bed and pulled your phone out of your pocket hoping you’d received some form of message from any of the boys. The only message was from Sam asking what you wanted to eat from the diner they had gone to when Dean got to antsy to sit and do more research on the case. A simple salt n’ burn was what they said but we still hadn’t figured out where the ghost had been buried to burn the bones.

“Nothing, not hungry,” you sat your phone down on your chest and waited for it to beep with a response.

A few minutes passed until it finally beeped. You pulled it up from your chest and looked at the screen.

“Are you sure? I haven’t seen you eat anything for a couple of days,” you couldn’t help but laugh softly, Sam was always the one who tried to look out for your health. Truth was you didn’t need to eat with what you were, of course you did occasionally to keep them of your back even if it wasn’t something you enjoyed.

“Positive, I had some chips earlier,”  you hated lying to him but you also needed him off your back.

“Alright (Y/N), just don’t want you to pass out on us while we’re out hunting is all,” his response was almost instant.

You decided to tease him a little, just to make him feel better about the situation. “Sammy, I’m fine. Really. Besides when did you pay attention to what I stuff into my mouth?” you couldn’t help chuckling a little at that.

While you were waiting for a reply you decided to get back to your research. You stood from the bed and went over to the table leaning against it, shaking your butt slightly while reading the spread out papers. You were so into the reading you didn’t even hear the door to the motel open and shut. You were lost in reading one of the obituaries you had missed when you heard someone clear their throat, causing you to jump slightly.

When you turned around clutching your chest you were greeted by two distracted Winchesters. If you did know you were wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a black tank top you would’ve felt naked under their stare. “You know it’s not nice to sneak up on a girl like that boys,” you huffed slightly and ran your hand through your hair.

Dean just rolled his eyes and walked into the bathroom, barely acknowledging your presence. You glanced towards the now closed bathroom door and then back up at the younger Winchester, raising one of your eyebrows at him in question. “Don’t even ask, he’s been like this the past few days, I’m sure he’ll mention what’s bothering him eventually,” he looked at you with those soft eyes you’ve come to love. “And (Y/N)?”

You looked down at your feet scratching the back of your neck, something you always did when you were uncomfortable. “Yeah?”

“Nice blue thong,” he smirked at you and took a few steps towards you, grazing his hand on your arm softly before walking past to the table.

You felt your cheeks heat up at the comment he made and quickly walked to the other side of the room. You didn’t realize that it your shirt had ridden up while you were bent over like that. ‘Great’ you thought, probably the reason behind Dean so rudely walking into the bathroom. Then again why did he have the right to be upset about anything, the man has barely said to words to you. He didn’t even argue with you when you brought a backpack with spare clothe like he normally did. He just gave you a side glance and continued to ignore you.

“Hey, (Y/N/N),” Sam said abruptly, dragging you out of your train of thought.

“Hmm,” you hummed your response while going and grabbing your hoodie from your bag.

“I think this is just what we needed to find the body,” he said while holding the paper you hadn’t finished reading above his head. “Says here the the ghost we’re hunting was buried on a farm about 10 miles from here, she was murdered and they dumped the body there. The family decided to just bury her where she lie I guess,” he shrugged setting the paper down, getting up to grab his jacket he had thrown on the bed he would be claiming for the night.

“Well, let’s grab your brother and go,” you smiled at him while you slipped your hoodie over your head, not realizing you gave him a great view of your cleavage when you lifted up your arms.

He coughed, trying to clear his dry throat. “DEAN, LET’S GO,”

Dean quickly opened the bathroom door still completely dressed and walked straight for the door, opening it and running off to the impala. This was going to be a long night.

…

“DEAN,” you screamed trying to hit the ghost with your iron rod. “HURRY IT UP WILL YA SKIPPY,” you turned around just in time to be thrown across the field, hitting your back against a tree, hard.

“I’M TRYING, FUCK WOMAN,” Dean yelled back while he and Sam tried to pull out all of the remains from the grave.

You groaned in slight pain, pulling yourself up from the tree, thanking your dad you healed quickly. You luckily had moved away from the tree in time before the ghost hurled some sort of farming at your head. “WHY DO I ALWAYS GET GHOST DUTY YOU ASSHATS,” you quickly ran at the ghost hitting it with your iron bar quickly, making it disappear, giving you a short window before it would come back.

“BECAUSE I’M THE PRETTY ONE,” Dean yelled back while dumping the salt on the bones while Sam doused them in lighter fluid.

“I WAS BEING RHETORICAL YOU MORON,” you ran towards them, before you even got a chance to see it the ghost threw Dean away from the grave while moving towards Sam. “I GUESS YOU’RE NOT SO PRETTY ANYMORE,” you couldn’t help but laugh at him. He landed in a giant mud puddle face first and his ass was sticking up in the air.

You made it over to Sam in time to see him swing his iron at the ghost again causing it to disappear, giving you time to pull out your lighter and light the bones on fire.

You stood next to Sam out of breath watching the ghost become engrossed in flames. “You alright?” you huffed turning towards Sam.

“Yeah, are you? You really took a beating,” he looked you up and down placing a hand on your cheek.

“M’okay, just outta breath, the bitch was feisty,” you chuckled and smiled up at him, in which he quickly returned with a full dimpled smile.

“YEAH I’M OKAY TOO,” Dean yelled while pulling himself up from the ground covered in mud and grass.

You looked away from Sam and quickly made your way over to Dean. “Are you hurt?” You looked him over and placed your hands on his cheeks, holding his face while you looked him in the eye.

When you attempted to wipe the mud from his face he pushed your hands away roughly. “Just fine,” he replied through clenched teeth and shoved past you. “I need a drink.”

…

You sat a booth in a stuffy bar that happened to be next to the motel you had been staying at. You hands held your head while you looked down at your glass of whiskey. You couldn’t understand why Dean was being so cold to you, sure he was before but lately it was just too much. When you tried to sit at the booth with him he quickly got up and made his way to the bar and sat on a stool. Was he regretting everything that happened between the two of you? Fuck, why did he have to be so difficult, oh yeah he’s Dean fucking Winchester that’s why.

“Hey, you alright?” you felt a hand on your shoulder and you quickly looked up into the familiar hazel eyes you loved.

“Yeah, Sam. At least, I think so,” you smiled at him but it obviously didn’t reach your eyes.

He quickly sat in the booth across from you and reached out to grab your hand softly. “Anything you want to talk about?”

“Not really,” you sighed as you felt him rub comforting circles across your palm.

“Well, you know I’m here any time you want to,” he gave you his signature dimpled grin and suddenly that's all you could think of.

You nodded. “I know,” you looked around the bar to see if you could find Dean but he wasn’t sitting at the stool he was a little bit ago. “Any idea where your moron brother went?” you looked back over to Sam.

“No idea, bathroom probably,” he shrugged and pulled his hand away from yours, almost immediately making you miss the warmth he offered.

“Probably,” you looked back down at your drink before taking a quick drink to finish it off. “I think I’m gonna head back to the motel, get some rest before the drive home tomorrow. Do you think I could share the bed with you tonight?” you looked at him before standing up.

“Of course (Y/N/N),” he stood up with you. “I’ll head over there soon, I’ll see if I can find Dean and let him know where we went as well as paying the tab,” he pulled you into a side hug.

“Thanks Sammy,” you smiled up at him.

“It’s no problem,” he leaned down and kissed the crown of your head quickly before letting you go. “Might be nice to cuddle with something that isn’t a pillow or my brother,”

“Now who said we would be cuddlin’, Winchester?” you smirked slightly and shook your head.

“That’s the only way you're sleepin’ in my bed (Y/L/N),” he chuckled.

“Fine, just be prepared for my cold feet,” you reached up and patted his cheek.

“I can deal with it,” he gave you a smile and winked before walking off to find Dean.

You just hopped sleeping in the bed with Sam wouldn’t upset Dean more.

...

It only took you about 5 minutes to walk back to the motel and your room. When you got closer to the door you could swear you heard a creaking noise and soft moans. You just pushed it aside, it was probably just coming from one of the other people staying here.

When you got to the door to your room and unlocked the door you weren’t prepared for what you were about to see.

You only got the door open halfway before you heard a grunt and a soft scream. Your instincts made you quickly reach for the gun you kept in your waistband, but when your eyes adjusted to the darkness of the motel room your hand quickly went from your gun to cover your mouth.

Dean was on the bed balls deep in a bottle blonde bimbo with big tits.  He was kissing her, something he never, not once did with you. You wanted to scream, cry, and shoot someone. You instantly realized neither of them had realized you opened the door, probably didn’t hear you over her moans.

You quickly shut the door and pressed your forehead against it. How could he? How could he do this to you? Sure you weren’t dating and never talked about being exclusive, but couldn’t he see how you felt. Obviously not.

You clenched your fists so hard your nails started to cut into your palms, you could feel the blackness taking over your eyes. No not now, you wouldn’t lose yourself because of him. You backed away from the door and started walking away from the room. You couldn’t control it anymore. You swing your fist into the first solid substance you could find, which was a door a few rooms away from yours. “GOD DAMN IT,” the punch was hard enough to break the door off the hinges. You took a deep breath, luckily no one was staying in that room, or else you’d have to explain how one punch took down a door.

You quickly made your way to the impala, you weren’t sure why but Dean had parked it in the back of the parking lot, even though there were little to no other cars around. Then again after what you just witnessed you didn’t give a fuck about what he thought or did anymore. You just needed to calm down before Sam came back, he was probably still trying to find Dean.

When you made it to the impala you leaned back against the hood, even if it was Dean's baby, it always had ways of calming you down. You ran your hand through your hair and back down your face, trying to calm yourself down. ‘Control, you need to keep control.’ you kept saying to yourself in your mind.

You took a deep breath and held your palms to your face. You could feel the tears as they ran down your cheeks. “God damnit, you will not cry over that asshole.”

“(Y/N)? Are you alright?” that sweet voice brought you back from the edge quickly. He always had a way of soothing you, without even trying.

“Yeah Sam, I’m alright,” you kept your hands over your eyes until they finally returned to their normal color.

“Why aren’t you in the room?” he came up to you, only standing about a foot away.

“Dean decided to bring back some company,” you sniffed softly, if he hadn’t been so close, he probably wouldn’t have heard it. “He’s in there fucking her right now,” you ran both hands up and through your hair.

Sam leant down slightly and put both hands on your cheeks, cupping your face. “Are you sure you’re okay? I know what you guys had wasn’t exactly a relationship, but he shouldn’t have done that,” he moved his thumbs over your cheeks to wipe away any missed tears.

“It is what it is Sammy,” you smiled up at him softly. “I should’ve expected it to end sooner or later, you know. He never even kissed me,” you chuckled softly.

He pulled you into a tight hug, holding you to his chest tightly. “You know Deans an asshole, mostly due to the mark, but an asshole nonetheless,” he kissed your head softly.

“Yeah I guess so, I didn’t really get to know him too much before the mark, but I know he’s still good inside. Somewhere,” you smiled into his chest. “Hey Sam?”

“Hmm,” he hummed in response as he rubbed soothing circles into your back.

“You never answered my question in my text earlier,” you pulled away from him slightly took look him in the eye.

He looked down at the ground and rubbed the back of his neck, leaving his other hand resting on your waist. “You’ll laugh at me.”

“I promise I won’t, tell me please,” you put your hand on his cheek to draw his eyes back to you. You even gave him the best puppy dog eyes you possibly could.

“I like you (Y/N), I care about you and your well being,” Sam explained, sighing softly while leaning into your hand. “As for paying attention to what you stuff in your mouth, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to kiss you, among other things,” he let out a soft chuckle.

You leaned into him slightly, leaving only about 2 inches of space between your mouths. “What other things, Sammy?” you used the hand not on his cheek to move up his chest.

His eyes glanced down at your lips before making eye contact with you again, “I can’t help but wonder what your lips would feel like against my body,” he moved closer, his lips brushing against your cheek before whispering in your ear. “About how they’d feel wrapped around my cock while you suck me off. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you (Y/N), Dean’s an idiot for taking you for granted.”

You could feel the warmth burn through your body with need, Sam Winchester wanted you and you wanted him just as bad. You couldn’t think of anything more than the arousal that pooled between your legs and how badly it ached. You knew in the back of your mind this was wrong, you loved Dean, but he also just proved to you he didn’t feel like that about you.

You knew that if it weren’t for Sam right now you may have let the blackness inside consume you, you may not have been in love with him but you still did love him. Dean caused you to almost lose control, Sam helped wrangle it back, however the demon in you needed more. You needed more. You needed the release to ease yourself back to the ground, you needed control again.

You leaned back slightly looking up at Sam, his pupils were blown with lust and you knew he wanted it just as bad. You quickly grabbed the collar to his shirt and pulled him to you. You pressed your body against his tightly, ghosting your lips over his. “Then what’s stopping you?”

He didn’t waste another second before crashing his lips to yours in a hungry, needy kiss. One of your arms wrapped around his shoulders pulling him closer while the other grasped his hair tightly. His tongue ran across your bottom lip and you immediately opened your mouth granting him access. Your tongues battles for dominance in which you gladly gave to him, letting him run his tongue along the insides of your mouth.

One of his hands pressed into the small of your back firmly, keeping you tightly against him, while the other rested against your neck. When the need for air finally caught up to you, he pulled away slightly, breathing heavily. His beautiful hazel eyes almost completely consumed in the blacks of his pupils. “Are you sure (Y/N)?”

You nodded, breathing heavily. “Yes Sam, I want you,” you smiled up at him, showing your perfect teeth.

He ran his hand up into your hair and gripped it tightly, pulling your head back and exposing your neck. “Question is, where do I fuck you senseless baby girl?” he bit down on your neck sharply, kissing and licking the mark to sooth it.

“Well, the moron is in the room so why not use his precious baby?” you smirked, loving your idea to taint that assholes most prized possession, because let's face it you were beyond the point of caring anymore. All you wanted to do was feed your demons so you could keep them at bay, didn’t care where he fucked you into oblivion.

Sam smiled wickedly and chuckled. “I don’t have the keys, so where do you suggest? The hood?”

“Why not, it’s late. No cars have driven by in the past hour, not to mention we’re at the back of the parking lot. No one would notice,” you licked your bottom lip as you ran your hand across his broad shoulder. “Even if they did, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t enjoy the show.”

“You have no idea how sexy you are right now,” Sam pulled your hair again, nipping and licking your jaw.

You reached up and put your hand on the nape of his neck, quickly pulling him down to kiss you again. This was slower, more deliberate. By the time his tongue was back in your mouth, his hands were on the backs of your thighs. He quickly lift you and set you on the hood of Baby.

You smiled against his lips and pulled him between your legs by his belt. “I know we can’t get completely naked, but there’s always next time,” you mumbled against him while you unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants.

He hummed in response pulling away from your lips to kiss and nip at your neck. You moved back a little to pull off your hoodie while he worked on unbuttoning and pulling off your jeans. You lifted your hips to make it easier and when you came back down you were greeted with the cold metal against your hot skin, but at that moment you just didn’t care.

Sam quickly pulled the straps to your tank top down so it could pool around your waist. He took a moment to gaze down at your almost naked form, you took it upon yourself to removed the straps of your black bra and pull the cups down to give him a better view.

He moved his hands up your sides and rested them just under your boobs. You nipples hardened as the cool breeze blew against your skin. You closed your eyes and leaned back against the hood, which earned you a groan from Sam. “God, you’re fucking beautiful.”

Before you had a chance to respond and open your eyes he had started kissing down your collarbone to your left breast. Licking and nipping the sensitive skin around the nipple, avoiding the one place you wanted his mouth the most. You arched your back up to his touch as a soft moan left your lips.

He moved his hand to your right breast and started to knead it softly, rubbing his thumb across your nipple, causing another moan to fall from your lip. “Sam..” you couldn’t help the slip of his name when he finally took your nipple into his mouth sucking and biting it.

When your hand snaked its way into his hair and pulled slightly he groaned in response, the vibration causing more pleasure to work its way into your core.

Sam let go of your left nipple and kissed his way across the valley of your chest to your right, taking it into his mouth and running his tongue against it. You were so lost in the feeling of his mouth on your chest you didn’t notice his hand move lower until it pulled your little blue thong to the side.

He gently ran his finger along your slit, causing you to gasp at the sudden contact. “Mmm, already soaking baby girl,” he said before he ran his tongue from the center of your chest up to your neck. “Do you want me to fuck you with my big cock?”

You couldn’t help the whimper that left your lips when he slid a finger into your entrance and gently nudged your clit with his thumb. “Y-yes,” you also couldn’t help how wrecked your voice was.

When he pulled his finger out he quickly replaced adding another as well while he kissed up your jaw to your ear. “You’re so tight baby,” he whispered in your ear as he began scissoring his fingers inside of you.

You wrapped your arm around his neck, using the other to keep you steady on the hood. “Ugh, Sam. Take your pants off, please baby,” you said with a slight whine in your voice.

He nipped your jaw lightly and added a third finger inside of you, curving them into a come hither motion, immediately hitting the sweet spot inside of you. You couldn’t help the loud moan of his name slip your lips. He worked you quickly into an orgasm, what threw you over the edge completely was the sharp bite to your shoulder.

Sam worked you through your orgasm and used his other hand to keep you steady on the hood of the impala. When he finally pulled his hand out of your entrance you made quick work of sitting up and started tugging at his pants. “Please baby, need you inside of me.”

He grabbed both of your hands roughly and pushed them behind your back. “Eager much?” he chuckled while bringing the hand he used to finger you up to his lips, putting them into his mouth and humming, keeping your hands pinned behind you with the other. “You taste better than I could imagine. Next time I’m eating you out right.”

You groaned in response to him tasting you on his fingers. “Please Sam,” you whimpered softly.

He quickly crashed his lips back on yours again and used the hand not holding yours to push down his pants and boxers just enough to release his hard length. He pressed the head against your clothed pussy causing you to whimper against his lips.

Before you had time to react he tore your thong off of you in one quick movement with one hand and put them on the hood. “I’m keeping those,” he mumbled against your mouth when he released your hands. “You ready?”

“God, yes,” you moaned when you felt the head of his dick graze you swollen clit.

You moved one hand down between you and grasped him tightly, lining him up to your entrance, groaning at how big he was. ‘What was it with Winchesters and being so big’ you thought to yourself.

He slowly pushed himself into you, groaning as each inch made its way in. “Fuck, you’re so tight and wet baby girl,” he growled into your ear as he pulled one of your legs tightly against his hip.

“All for you Sam,” you moaned when he thrust the rest of the way into you. He let you adjust to his size for a moment before slowly pulling out, causing you to whimper softly as the loss of feeling him stretch you.

He licked up the pulse point on your neck before slamming back into you, causing you to scream softly. “You take my cock so good baby,” he continued slamming into you at an unforgivable pace.

You quickly wrapped one arm around his neck holding him close to you as he kept slamming into you. He quickly raised your leg higher on his waist, hitting your g-spot almost every time. You felt the coil in your stomach tighten, causing you to clench around him tightly.

“Fuck Sam,” you moaned out and moved your other hand into his hair, pulling it roughly, earning you a groan from him and an even harder thrust.

“Cum for me baby, I know you’re close. I wanna feel you cum on my cock,” he growled into your ear before biting the pulse point on your neck. His thrusts started to falter rhythm and you knew he was close too

“Cum with me,” you moaned out throwing your head back.

He grunted in response. A few more thrusts and you could feel his hot release inside of you, triggering your own orgasm. “SAM!” you screamed.

Dean POV:

Dean laid back on the motel bed with his arm over his face just listening to the sounds of clothes shuffling and feet moving around the room. He had no idea why he did what he did, he just knew that he was angry and when the first person who had a nice face and a decent pair of tits flirted with him, he made the choice to fuck his anger out. He just had to go and ruin the moment when he moaned your name, he knew the blonde woman told him her name but the only thing he could think of was you. Why did he have to be in love with you, after what he heard in your room with Cas he knew you didn’t feel the same way. So, why were you still the only thing he could think of even when he was balls deep inside another woman.

“You know, whoever that (Y/N) is, you might want to tell her how you feel,” the blonde said, breaking him out of his thoughts.

He moved his arm away from his face and sat up in the bed. The only thing covering his still naked body being the then sheet of the bed. “Look, I’m sorry about that. I jus-.”

The blonde quickly cut him off. “ Look, Dean was it? You don’t have to explain yourself, in all honesty I didn’t care much because you were a good lay,” she smiled at him genuinely.

“But?” he raised his eyebrow in question.

“If you want my advice, don’t push away a good thing. You moaning her name practically the entire time just showed you didn’t really want me or anyone else for that matter,” she had already finished dressing and was putting on her shoes at this point. “Take it from someone who knows, I pushed away a good man and now I’m just doing the one night stand thing so I don’t get caught up in feelings again,” she stood quickly and slung her bag over her shoulder. “I’m guessing the fact you were fucking me you guys aren’t a thing currently, don’t lose the chance honey. Life is short, take any chance you can get, especially if you love her.”

“Uh-” he ran his hand through his hair and looked down at his lap. Before he could say anything else she interrupted him again.

“If by chance if doesn’t work out though and you happen to be in town again. Look me up,” she winked at him before quickly exiting the room.

He laid back down on the bed with a thump and groaned to himself. “FUCK,” he yelled. If a chick from the bar could tell how he felt before he came to accept it, maybe she was right. You were perfect and all he was doing as pushing you away. You weren’t exclusive or anything when he heard what he did so maybe if he told you how he felt, you felt the same way. Be damned if you fucked Cas, who wouldn’t want to be with you. You were a fucking goddess.

Dean sat up quickly and got out of bed. “Damnit,” he stood quickly and looked for his clothes that had been thrown around the room. He needed to talk to you about how he felt before he lost you for good.

He found his jeans and tshirt and decided he would just go commando, hopefully you were still at the bar with Sam. He sighed and quickly slipped his boots on before grabbing the keys to Baby and his wallet, just incase you weren’t there.

He rushed out the door, grabbing his jacket and phone that were resting by it. His stomach was in knots, there was no denying he was nervous.

As he made his way down the hallway with his head down to stare at the ground trying to think about what he was going to say to you. That’s when he heard hushed voices coming from a little further down the hallway.

“How the fuck did the door end up like this?” a man with a baseball hat whisper yelled.

“How am I supposed to know? I was doing rounds when I noticed it,” a woman dressed in a maids uniform answered.

Dean couldn’t help but stop behind them to see what they were talking about. Luckily they were both shorter then him so he could see past. The solid oak door that would normally match the others were hanging just barely off the hinges. It was splintered and almost broken in half. Whatever did that must have had decent strength, if he had tried to do that it would’ve taken him a few good kicks, on a good day. It was a good thing no one occupied the room or else they may have had a heart attack.

It took him a moment to compose himself before quickly making his way down the rest of the hallway and down the stairs to the parking lot. ‘Maybe it was something of the supernatural sorts that broke the door’ he thought to himself and shook his head. If it had been then it would’ve been the door to their room that had been smashed because most things that hunted them were smart enough to go to the right room. “Probably just some domestic,” he chuckled to himself as he made his way to the bar.

As he was about to cross the street to the bar he heard a grunt followed by a moan. He looked around quickly trying to place where the sounds had been coming from. “What the hell?” he quickly reached to his waistband for his gun only just now realizing he had left it in the hotel room. “Fuck.”

He turned back towards the parking lot and began walking back quietly. Maybe he could make it to baby to grab a weapon if it was a monster. The closer he got to the car however the noises grew louder.

He attempted to keep in the shadows as best he could as he moved closer. That’s when he saw Sam standing next to the hood of the impala with his pants around his thighs and legs around his waist.

He inwardly groaned to himself and whispered quietly. “Fucking gross, Sam,” he had to keep himself from gagging as he watched his little brother plow into whoever he picked up from the bar. ‘Wait, if Sam’s here where’s (Y/-’ his thoughts were cut short when he heard your voice.

“Fuck Sam,” Dean instantly felt his heart drop. You were fucking his brother. First Cas, and now Sam.

He almost felt like crying with how much it hurt, then again he was just having sex with some blonde he just met. His brother though, that was low.

Dean began walking away from the impala. He needed a drink, or ten. You were fucking his brother, on his goddamn car. He didn’t even realize it when he made it back over to the bar, the only thing that brought him back to reality was when he heard you scream.

“SAM!”

Chapter 5

Masterlist

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Your adult!Animorphs AU destroyed my soul. Thank you for reminding me that the series could be so much more tragic. Although: Where is the YPM in this scenario??

This ficlet takes place within this universe. 

They’re almost a year into the war, have just about settled into their respective trenches (the trenches are bunkers, the bunkers have anti-aircraft turrets and state-of-the-art drone technology, but Jake still thinks of this as trench warfare) when all six Animorphs get woken up in the middle of the night for an emergency call.  A lone controller has walked right up to their gates from across No Man’s Land, waving a white banner the entire way.

General Marsden stiffly explains to the Animorphs, as the entire group walks down the hallway to the informal cell they’ve set up below, that the rules of engagement wouldn’t allow them to shoot an unarmed man with a flag of surrender.

Collette, who was on patrol at the time, gives a far more honest account.  “From a distance, we all thought he was you,” she tells Jake.  “And even when he got a little closer… Well, seemed like it’d be rude to kill him without at least asking you first.”

And then there’s no time for any further explanation, because Jake is face-to-face with his brother for the first time in over ten months.  Tom is sitting handcuffed to a chair, expression—hooded eyes, soft mouth—giving no hint at all to what the yeerk must be feeling to be surrounded by six Animorphs and four other armed guards.  Collette pointedly turns and wheels herself out of the room, clearing her throat until General Marsden walks out ahead of her.

“Well,” the yeerk inside Tom says, raising a single eyebrow.  “Guess that worked.  Sorry to have to use Tom on you all, but we needed someone who had decent odds of making it inside.”  It turns Tom’s eyes to fix on Jake.  “He volunteered for this kamikaze run, if that makes you feel any better.”

Jake tightens his jaw, expression still carefully neutral.  “Tom would never go voluntary.”

The thing inside Tom causes him to smirk.  “He said you’d say that.”  There’s a subtle but startling shift, in Tom’s posture and expression and even the pattern of his breath.  When he speaks next, his inflection has gone softer and more rounded.  “I’ll explain everything, I promise.  But for this next trick, I’m gonna need a glass of water.”

Cassie, who figures out what’s coming, becomes the first person to find some water and a cup.  Ax is the most wary of all of them, tail twitching in implied threat, but he keeps his commentary to himself even as Cassie carries the glass of water over.  The yeerk slides out of Tom’s ear to land inside with a soft plip.

Jake’s expression is frozen.  Marco is in his own way just as wary as Ax, coiled tight with tension where he leans against the doorframe in a posture that implies apathy but also puts him perfectly positioned to lunge across the room.  Rachel is squinting at Tom as if her cousin is a manual she can read with enough effort, Tobias standing over her shoulder and looking faintly amused by this whole mess.

“Now,” Tom says, shaking himself off.  “As Niss three-fifty was trying to explain, not every yeerk on the planet wants to screw it over—”

He cuts off with an undignified noise of surprise when Jake suddenly crouches and yanks him into a hug.  “Yeah,” Tom says softly.  “Yeah, I missed you too.”

Over the next hour, Tom tells them about the Yeerk Peace Movement.  About the hundreds of controllers working right under the nose of the Empire to free as many hosts as they can.  About the entire community of escaped hork-bajir who live deep in yeerk-occupied territory, hidden in a California valley.  About the mission which sent him here with a single message: we’re here to help.

After he finishes, there’s a long pause while everyone digests this news. And then Marco pushes off the door frame, stalking to the center of the room.  “No offense,” he says, “because we appreciate the help and all, but we don’t know this Peace Movement from anywhere and we’ve got no reason to trust them.  So what’s to stop us from killing…”  He gestures to the yeerk, still swimming around inside its cup.  “…and telling these people to go fuck themselves?”

Tom considers his next words carefully, knowing that Niss would probably call him an asshole if they were sharing a brain right now.  Knowing as well that the Animorphs have clashed with the yeerks’ senior leaders before, and gotten away alive.  “How about the fact that I know when Visser One will next be on the planet?” Tom says.  “Not only that, but I know where she sleeps, what she eats, what her preferred security code for her personal Blade ship will probably be.  I know how to get you DNA for one of the hork-bajir from her personal guard, and I know the time of day she’s most likely to be alone except for those personal guards.”  He leans forward, looking Marco in the eye.  “Or do you still want to kill us and call it a day?”

The room erupts.

“I don’t know who you think we are,” Cassie says angrily, “but we do not just assassinate people.  We would never sink to the level of—”

“Wouldn’t we?” Rachel asks.  “Cut off the head…”

“And Visser Three’s in charge of Earth,” Tobias points out.  “Not sure we’re better off.”

 Ax shifts nervously.  

“No, Cassie’s right,” Tobias says.  “There’s a human woman in there—”

Rachel turns to Cassie.  “You can’t tell me you don’t want a little revenge, after she annihilated the Pacific Ocean.”

“Oh, so now we’re going on revenge missions?” Tobias asks.  “Revenge missions which might get us all killed?”

“Jake?” Cassie says at last, having finally noticed that neither he nor Marco has said anything.

Jake is staring at Tom.  “He’s not talking about an assassination attempt,” Jake explains quietly.  “Mostly, he’s just fucking with Marco.”

Tom shifts in his seat, clearly annoyed.  “For your information, midget, I also happen to be telling the truth.”

“Well, then.”  Jake leans one hip against the table, turning to look at Marco.  “I guess we’d better figure out what to do about it.”

Jake ends up calling a war council, even though he hates war councils, and the question of how to rescue Eva rages on into the evening.  General Marsden is firmly against the idea, but Jake very calmly tells him that they respect his opinion but will not be listening to it this time around.  Ax runs them all through likely scenarios for what will happen if they succeed and Visser Three takes over, Cassie insists that they need to do this with as little bloodshed as possible, and Rachel becomes the first to volunteer to be their mole.  Marco listens for a long time, mostly without speaking.

When the meeting is over, Marco goes and finds Tom—and Niss 350, he supposes—where they’re sitting on the back wall of the compound, looking out into human-occupied territory.  Most of the people walking by give the known controller a wide berth, which works out well for Marco’s purposes.  It lets them have the privacy he needs.

“Your brother’s a good man, you know,” he says, sitting down next to Tom.

Tom—or Niss—smiles sadly.  “Yeah, I know.”

Marco shifts, leaning back against the wall at their backs.  “Case in point, he’s in there right now scratching his brains out trying to figure a way to go sailing in and save my mom’s life without having to let anyone die along the way.  ‘cause he’s a good man.”

“He coulda been something, if not for the war,” Tom agrees easily.  “Most popular foreman on his whole construction crew, Habitat for Humanity on his weekends…”  He snorts.  “And then there’s you and me.  You were, what, Arthur Andersen LLP?  Helping corrupt companies keep from giving any money to the people whose lives got ruined by their products?  Meanwhile my biggest pre-war problem was wondering whether Netscape was gonna take me down too when they noticed I was keeping my mouth shut about all that money my boss was skimming.”  He glances over at Marco.  “Mind you, this was in between being that sad-sack cliche who sat around reliving the glory days over ten years after that knee injury took me out of college basketball.”

Marco laughs.  “Oh, you don’t know the half of me, man.  Anyway…” He clears his throat.  “I took your point back in there.  You dick.  And I take your point now.  Just so we’re on the same page: there’s no way in hell anyone’s going to toss my mom over their shoulder and sail away to safety, is there?”

Tom shakes his head.  There’s a long silence, during which it almost seems as though he and Niss are having a private argument.  When he finally does speak again, it’s to say, “Eva’s good people.  I know I’ve only met her a handful of times, but I’ve liked what I’ve seen.  And for what it’s worth, I think you’d be doing right by her.”

Every muscle in Marco’s body is tight with tension.  “Do you think she…?”  He has trouble finding the rest of the words.

“I think she’s damn proud of you and everything you lot have done,” Tom says, looking over at him.  “If I know her at all.”

Marco nods.  “I just meant.”  He clears his throat.  “You’ve been an involuntary controller.  I haven’t.  You think this is what she’d choose, if she could?”

“Yes.”  Tom doesn’t hesitate.

Marco tries a weak smile on for size.  “There’s not even going to be a way to get us out of there after it’s done, is there?”

“‘Us?’” Tom asks.

“I asked.  Rachel’s coming with me.”

That causes Tom to close his eyes for a second, letting out a long, shaky breath of air.  “That’s her decision to make,” he says at last.  “And having her along will make your odds of success a hell of a lot better.”

“Guess that answers my question, then.”  Marco drops his head back against the sun-warmed stone of the wall.  “You know, Jake and Cassie are getting married next month,” he says.

“No shit?”  Tom huffs a laugh.  “Good for them.”

“Yeah, it’s, uh…”  Marco needs a few breaths.  “It’s gonna be a shame to miss it.”

Tom sobers.  “Yeah it is.”

“Look.”  Marco clears his throat.  “If Jake asks, and you’re in a position to answer, could you tell him that we had an exit strategy in mind?  That our plan for getting out just went wrong, and it was just bad luck?  Would you be willing to do that for me?”

“Sure.”  And again there’s that shift, and Marco knows he’s talking to Niss and not Tom.  “If you’d be willing to do the same for us,” the yeerk says.

Marco sits up straight.  “You…”

And now it’s back to Tom’s natural inflection.  “I’m hiding out somewhere in yeerk-occupied territory, if Jake asks.  Still helping the YPM.  Hell, if you’re feeling poetic, give me a nice little cabin by a lake somewhere.  Our great-grandfather did it for years, sounds like it’d be peaceful right about now.”

“You weren’t exaggerating earlier about this being a kamikaze run, were you?” Marco asks.

“I need to go back, at least long enough to alert the others.”  Tom takes a shuddering breath.  “After that, they’re gonna figure it out.  They’re gonna kill Niss.  Even if they don’t kill me along with him…”  He makes a complex motion with his mouth, and rolls forward a small capsule.  He lets it rest there on the tip of his tongue long enough to show Marco, then tucks it back into his cheek.  “They’re never using me again.  I’m already free, and that’s not going to change.”

They stay out there for a long time afterwards, staring out into the night.  Marco wishes that all the beer hadn’t been left behind when the humans retreated, or at least that anyone was bothering to make more these days.  Funny, how much the definition of hope, the definition of peace, the definition of normal have changed in the past year.

Tom’s bottom lip is clamped between his teeth, and Marco isn’t sure which of them is biting it.  Finally Tom lets it go, lets out a sigh.  “It’s been good, seeing them.  Jake’s doing well, or as well as I coulda hoped under the circumstances.  Rachel…”  He smiles sadly.  “She’s doing what she needs to on her own terms.  Guess I can’t ask for anything more than that.  It’s like Niss said, I volunteered.  I wanted to see them, before…”

The silence of the night isn’t even broken by crickets.  The yeerks killed every insect on the planet, and the whole ecosystem is sliding into slow collapse around them as a result.  “Cabin in the woods, huh?” Marco says at last.

“The lake is a must,” Tom says.  “The woods are optional.”

The mission is a success, or at least as much of one as it could have been.  Eva dies quickly, Visser One along with her.  Marco dies knowing he did what he set out to do.  Rachel dies in battle, surrounded on all sides by the bodies of her enemies, the way she was always destined to.  All of them, Tom and Niss included, die thinking they’ve given the Earth hope.  That they’ve given the Earth what it needs to hang on just a little while longer, just until the andalites can get there and save the day.

(Just in case my last few AUs made anyone forget I’m a sucker for tragedy.)

[fa-nfiction]

Thunder #0.6

(prequel to Thunderstorm)

June 8th, 2013

___________________________

I have to text something to him. The thought appeared at 5.53 AM in the morning, and I still had a slight buzz going on. If I hadn’t had that, I probably wouldn’t have texted at all. But if I had been sober, the text would probably have been a tad more eloquent than it was.

“Heya” I wrote and sent, before I falled right back into sleep, not to awaken for at least another three hours.

“Hey darl. Make it home O.K.?”

The text message lit up the screen of my phone. 9.13 AM. My head was aching from the drinking last night. I reached out for my glass of water on the nightstand and took a large sip before I texted him back.

“It was only three floors up. I think I could handle that.”

“Hmm. Had to check, darl.”

I bit my lower lip and smiled into the screen before replying.

“Did you think you had made me faint on my way up ;-)”

I instantly regretted the winky smiley.

“;-)”

I felt myself go giddy at the text. Ugh, why do you have to be so … ugh. Michael.

He had walked me home after last night’s party at The Station. Walked me home, and done a lot more than that. I felt myself be overcome with embarrassment as I thought of it. This was NOT the kind of girl I took myself for. Usually, I would go on at least a couple of dates before I let them do anything. But this guy. I had met him at work yesterday, and that brief meeting had put my mind into a strange, distracted state. I was blatantly fantasizing about him, which was also something that I didn’t usually do.

“Got any plans today?” I wrote the words and pressed “send” before I even had a chance to think twice about it. Mentally, I yelled and cursed at myself for coming off that desperate.

“Going out with a girl later”, he replied. No punctuation, nothing. Just casual chatter. My heart sank. Of course he’s going out with a girl. Why did I even think he’d be interested.

“Have fun :)” I texted back. My ego was hurt, but I’d be damned if he was going to know that.

“Yeah, just going to ask her first”, he replied a moment later. I get it, damn it. Stop texting me. I don’t need to know. What, are you gonna tell me her name, too? I threw the phone across the room in a fit of frustration. From somewhere in the pile of clothes it had landed in, came a beep a minute later or so. With an annoyed huff, I went to see what it was.

“So, would you like to go out? ;)” The display read. Accidentally, I let out a giggle. I was happy that no one saw.

( … )

It was around 3 PM, as I walked past the small entertainment centre in the middle of town. As a londoner, I had never really gotten used to how small things were around here. The entertainment centre was only really a collaboration between a burger joint, a Chinese restaurant and of course, the smallest cinema in Ireland. I had always been kind of annoyed with how useless this was, compared to the large cinemas in London or even Dublin. Today, I wasn’t. I checked my look in the glass facade of the building, and although I had spent the better part of three hours getting ready, I felt nowhere near it. Today’s stilettoes were pink and thankfully, not as tall as the ones I wore yesterday. My dress was flowing in the slight summer wind, the makeup was flawless, and my curls looked nice. Still, my heart was beating enough to make me nervous that it was going to pop out of my chest. I took a deep breath and opened the large glass doors to the entertainment centre. As good as it gets. 

I saw him before he noticed me. He looked so completely, impossibly handsome that I instantly regretted the way I looked. He was dressed in khaki pants, a grey shirt and a black blazer, all of it fitting him and accentuating his figure perfectly. He was sitting on a bench in the lounge, leaned back with eyes on his phone. As my stilettos clicked on the floor while I walked towards him, his face turned upwards.

“Cas! Hey!” He exclaimed and waved at me. Christ. He looks perfect even while waving at people -

“Hey!” I tried to act casual while I closed the distance between us. The way he looked at me made him look like he was enjoying the view of me walking.

“You look amazing.” He said while standing up. Along came the dreaded moment of “should we be hugging, or”, and somehow, we simultaneously decided not to. Instead, he caressed my upper arm slightly. It was the simplest of gestures, and yet, it left me craving for more. What is UP with this guy?

“Burger place or Chinese?” He smiled before he spoke again. “Let me guess. Chinese, right?”

I smiled back and nodded.

“You’re a telepath, I take it?” I clicked my tongue at the roof of my mouth at the casual way he’d guessed my preferred dining place.He didn’t falter. Instead, he smiled a large, contagious smile at me and sent me a wink.

“Absolutely. I know everything in your head, darl’.” I tried to not look flustered at the thought of him actually seeing my thoughts, but it was impossible. In mere seconds, I was blushing like a nun. He just kept smiling, his eyes shining with the thrill of the situation.

“That bad? Hm. I’m not sure I even dare to do this. A man’s gotta think about his modesty, you know.”

I let out a bubbly laugh and tried to not snort with laughter before I had the chance to compose myself, which proved a lot more difficult than I thought. He stretched out his arm, still with that terrible smile on his face, and we went into the restaurant.

( … )

“I must say. My telepathic powers are failing me. I’d have thought you were a sushi girl.”

I giggled slightly and took a bite out of a chicken dumpling.

“Do I look like a sushi girl?” I asked with a glint in my eye. “What even is a sushi girl? Sounds like a girl made out of sushi. And I’m not a girl. And not made of sushi at all.”

He held up his hands in a defensive manner, while his eyes and smile teased me.

“Not a girl? Coulda fooled me, Cas.”

“Cassie. And you know what I mean.”

He stretched out his legs below the table and folded his hands behind his head. I curled my own legs beneath the chair to avoid colliding with him. Any kind of physical contact was a bit too much with this guy. Somehow, it left me hungry for more, no matter how small or insignificant the touch.

“Oh, like the Britney Spears song? I’m not a giiiiirl-” He sang the song loudly and way out of tune, and I almost choked on the mouthful of noodles I was eating.

“Michael, oh my God-” I looked around the table to see if he’d made a scene. There was something crazy about him. Something uninhibited. I blushed although no-one had heard him.

“You know what I mean. I’m a woman. Not a girl.”

He smiled a disarming smile and leaned forwards. “Thank heavens. The lord knows this looks suspicious enough as is.”

I looked quizzically back at him and pushed the empty plate away.

“How is that?”

“You know how people are like. Especially here. Older guy, younger girl - I mean, woman. I’m surprised nobody has made a snarky comment yet.”

“You’re not THAT old. And I’m not THAT young.” I was shuffling my feet nervously beneath the table. Stilettoes was a bad choice, Cassie.

“I don’t mind.” He raised his one eyebrow and looked at me with a completely wolf-like look on his face. Suddenly, I felt exactly as young as he said I was.

“Dessert?” He asked, making me breathe a silent sigh of relief at the change of subject. I shook my head.

“You?” I replied.

“As the lady commands.” He stood up from the table and wriggled his eyebrows seductively. It took a whole three seconds until I caught the double meaning of the words, and at that time, I felt my face blushing like never before. He just laughed and stretched out his arm again, this time to gallantly help me up from the table. I had a feeling that deep down, he was a lot less gentlemanly than the way he acted. I didn’t mind.

( … )

“So. How’s the delivery business?” I asked in an attempt to sound nonchalant. The cigarette I was trying to light up also helped. The wind had become stronger than before, and the sunshine I left my home in had completely vanished. Dark clouds had gathered, and I hoped and prayed that they didn’t have rain in them.

“It’s a-booming. How’s the office business?” He replied and held his hands around the cigarette, shielding the fire from the wind. I inhaled and finally, the cigarette was lit. I smiled back at him in return for the help.

“Well. You know. Office-y.”

“Not too fond of it?”

I smoked some more while contemplating how much to tell him. It wasn’t my dream job at all, but as for now, it had to do.

“It’s okay. Good co-workers and all. I like it there. Oh, Christ-” I exclaimed as I felt the first heavy drops of rain falling.

“Shite.” He looked towards the sky as the drops began falling faster. This was going to be a big one. On the inside, I yelled and cursed at myself at today’s choice of attire.

I jumped slightly as the first roar of thunder hit, and the sky seemed to crack open. Within the course of a second, thick ropes of rain were falling heavily upon the town. I was becoming drenched in record time, the cigarette had been drowned, and I wanted to kick myself for wearing stilettoes.

“Let’s go to mine instead. It’s closer-” I heard him yell through the heavy rain before he pointed at my shoes.

“Can you run in those?”

I nodded and looked around, confused with the whole situation.

“Let’s go. Before it gets worse.”

( … )

As I had already predicted, the shorter distance to Michael’s home hadn’t kept us from becoming drenched. It didn’t affect our mood, though. Laughing and out of breath, we ran inside his home and collapsed after he’d closed the door behind us.

“Oh my Lord. That was crazy!” I exclaimed and sat up beside him. He was on the floor and lying flat down, clothes soaked with the rain, and a wide smile on his face. Thoughts from yesterday appeared in my brain, and I felt my cheeks reddening. I cleared my throat as he, too, sat up.

“Uh. I’ll just stay until the rain stops. Don’t want to catch a cold and all that.”

“I don’t mind. Stay as long as you want.” He replied before his face contorted into a wide, teasing smile. “Unless, of course, you’re afraid of being in the cheap part of town.”

I laughed at his remark. “Do I really look like I’m that kind of girl?”

“Absolutely. Posh girl, from the posh part of town. Working in a posh office with all of her posh friends. I don’t mind, though. It’s so refreshing for a pleb like me.”

“I’m not that posh!” I half-laughed, but a part of me was nervous that he’d actually meant what he said.

“Sure.” The look on his face was playful, but the eyes were dark. I shifted uneasily for a second, pondering whether to stand up or not, before he moved slightly closer and decided for me. In a swift, awkward move, I was back on my feet.

“I really should leave. I think the rain’s stopped and-” I said and cleared my throat.

In return, he shrugged his shoulders and stood up as well, while I opened the door. A thousand thoughts were swimming through my mind, and most of them were scolding me for having taken it this far. I’m not that kind of girl. I had only ever been with a couple of people, and never this quickly. Michael was way too flirtatious, way too forward, way too … dangerous. The things he’d done last night had never happened if I hadn’t been drunk. I would had never allowed them to.

I turned around and tried not to look too much at him while stretching out my hand.

“Thank you for today, Michael, it was … uh … it was a great date.”

“Indeed. Thank you, Cas.” He took my hand and shook it a bit too enthusiastically, still with a large smile on his face. Man, this guy is a mystery.

“And the dinner was amazing.” He held onto my hand, still shaking it as I spoke.

“Very much so. Great having dinner with you.”

“Absolutely.” He was still holding my hand, and the awkwardness almost made me giggle.

“So, see you around?” I don’t know why, but I dreaded his reply.

“Sure, Cas. I’ll text you.”

“Great. Um, bye?”

“Goodbye.” The smile on his face had now turned into a full-blown grin, and it was contagious like nothing else.

“Bye.” I managed to shake my hand off of his and turned around, ready to go out. Suddenly, a large clap of thunder roared from above us, and I jumped with the shock. The second after that, cascades of rain were pouring down, and I backed a few steps to avoid it. I was going to drown if I went outside now, but that was simply something I’d have to get through. Just like the change in the weather, the change in the room happened swiftly as well.

“Still raining.” He said in a low voice while moving to stand behind me. I had to catch my breath as he put his hand on one of my hips and moved even closer, whispering into my ear. “Stay.”

“I- I can’t, it’s-” I didn’t mean for my voice to stutter, but the close proximity between us had that effect.

“Turn around, Cas.”

It was as if I had no say in this. Without hesitating, my body turned around as my mind yelled at me from inside. I couldn’t look at him. If I looked at him, I was going to lose.

I heard the door closing behind me and the second after that, I felt his hand cupping my chin.

As he tipped my head upwards, our eyes met and I questioned whether I had ever truly had the ability to leave. I was in the lion’s den, and there was no escape. He didn’t speak, he only looked at me with those eyes. Those deep blue eyes that held so many prospects of what was to come, so many promises of what this was going to be. He closed his arms around me, lifted me up and pressed himself against me, our bodies colliding like that night before. An infinite second went past, still with our eyes locked against each other, until he kissed me. It was a soft, wonderful, innocent kiss, a deliberate tease to make me crave it more. I felt my breath quickening as I remembered the taste of his kisses and the way it made me feel. As if on cue, he pulled his face away from mine and looked me in the eyes again.

“I’ve missed you, Cas.” He said in that deep voice, while his eyes looked into my own.

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything except surrender.

 He carried me into his bedroom, my legs wrapped around his waist, our wet clothes dripping onto the floor. He didn’t care. Still, his eyes were locked with mine, and the expression on his face was teasingly arrogant. You’re mine. You have nowhere to run.

He put me down on the floor, and for a second I dreaded falling clumsily as he did. Thankfully, I didn’t, as his strong arms grabbed hold of my waist as he once again began to kiss me. The taste of him made it feel like my knees were made of jelly, and I had to keep from moaning at the sheer intensity of him. Soon, his kisses moved to my neck, and I felt like the room was spinning. I had no control over myself anymore. He could do whatever he wanted with me, and I wouldn’t complain. He knew that too, and his fingers sought out the zipper in my dress, opened it and let the dress fall to the floor. Immediately, I felt myself blushing and in an attempt of hiding, I turned my back to him. It had NOT been the plan to go this far. Not today. Not already. But he didn’t falter. In the course of a second, he stepped up behind me and placed his hands on my waist, caressing me before they stretched around me and moved to my abdomen. His lips formed small kisses on my neck, making my breath spin out of control. I felt him remove his hands to loosen the buttons on his shirt behind me, and the prospects it meant made me want to stay and leave at the same time.

“Don’t hide from me.” He whispered his command into my ear as he opened my bra, and I couldn’t do anything but comply. Slowly, shyly, I turned around, while covering my breasts. Something about him made me feel so insecure, so inexperienced, so … less, compared to him.

“Don’t.” His voice had turned dark, and the sound of it made shivers run down my spine. I removed my hands and stood in front of him with my eyes closed.

I felt him slowly getting closer, before he put my face between his hands and kissed me.

His lips were slow at first but quickly gained speed. My hands moved to his chest and the feeling of his skin against mine made it feel like I was burning up. I felt his breath quickening as well, and a rush of courage flowed through me, as I unbuckled his pants. A small, dark laugh from his mouth against my neck only seemed to spur me on.

“Lay down, Cas.”

I backed a few steps, trying to process what was about to happen, but I knew as well as he that I couldn’t escape. I didn’t want to, either. As he pulled off the jeans and loomed before me, looking down at me with that smugness written on his face, I felt a pang of guilty conscience. You’re not that kind of girl, Cassie. Don’t do this.

As if he’d sensed the internal struggle I was in the middle of, he simply put his arms around me and lifted me up without speaking a word. Instead, his eyes looked into my own, as he placed me on the bed while laying himself on top of me.

“I - I really … I really shouldn’t.” I whispered against him as he kissed down my neck, trying to convince myself that this was, indeed, wrong.

“Shouldn’t what, Cas?” He replied in a tone that seemed completely oblivious.

“... this. I’m not … I don’t …” His wet kisses had trailed down my neck and was tracing my collarbone now. My mind had turned to mush, and I was only seconds from forgetting altogether what I was about to say. “I … don’t do this with people I’ve only just met. We shouldn’t.”

He stopped his kisses and looked me deep in the eyes instead.

“Oh, me neither, darl’.” His smile looked completely entrancing, and the glint in his eyes even more so.

“Oh, really?” I mocked.

“Really. You’re the very first one to experience this. I can’t help myself. You’re just like magic. Not the good kind, though.” Something about the teasing in his tone made me want him more than anything else.

“What kind am I, then?” “An evil, evil witch. The kind that lures men away from their good principles. I’ve been such a good boy, and along came you to ruin it all.” He teased me in a tone that was completely serious, and I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. The creasing of his brow only made him look even more serious and at the same time, hilarious.

“Oh, that’s terrible. Poor you. I feel terrible.” I said and felt the laughter bubbling in my throat.

“You should. Really. I shouldn’t do this.” He slid his hand down my side, caressing me and leaving goosebumps in his trail. I had forgotten exactly how undressed I’d become, and I blushed at the sudden realization.

“And I really … really shouldn’t do this.” His fingers disappeared below my panties, and I let out a gasp as he was suddenly right there. He slid his fingers between my folds, light as a butterfly, and I had to muster all of my strength to not buck my hips up against his hand. The touch of his hands was no match to the look on his face, though. His eyes looked like a storm that was about to devour me whole, the smirk on his face telling me he knew exactly what he was doing.

“The things you lure me into, Cas.” He teased and kept moving his fingers, but kept away from the areas where I needed him the most.

“Please ... “ I heard myself say.

“Please, what?” His other hand entwined itself in my hair, and I was effectively trapped beneath him.

“Please … more.”

“As you wish, darl’.” Without hesitation, he inserted a finger inside of me, and I let out a moan at the sudden gratification. Slowly, he pulled it back and pushed forth, before he inserted another. When he bucked his fingers at that magic spot inside of me, I felt my back arching and a large, moaning whimper escape me. It felt so wrong, and at the same time, so incredibly right. I heard him humming with approval as he realized I was putty in his hands now.

“More?” He whispered into my ear, and I nodded breathlessly as he pulled my panties all the way off before looming above my naked form, gazing down upon me with wild hunger in his eyes. He was beyond gorgeous, and I couldn’t keep my eyes from him as he removed his final bit of clothing.

A slight gasp escaped me at the sight of him. He was bigger than anyone I’d ever seen. The look on his face - again, a slight smirk - told me he’d seen this reaction before.

“You on the pill?” He asked.

“N-no. I … uh, I’m not.”

“Rain coat, then.” He noted, more to himself than to me, and pulled a condom from somewhere underneath the bed.

“You came prepared.” I winked at him as he put it on. “Kinda strange when you didn’t expect to be in such trouble.”

“A good boy scout knows when to be prepared.” He winked back at me and came back to the bed. This time, he positioned himself between my legs, and I felt the same annoying shyness from before return to me, making me hide my face in my hands.

“Don’t …” Before I could finish my sentence, my voice became a long and strained moan. His tongue was lapping at me at my most sensitive spot, and my defense crumbled at the way he did it. Long, wide licks at the centre of my pleasure was turning me into a writhing mess, and even more so when his fingers entered me again, wasting no time before they curled against the spot. His tongue moved faster and faster against me, and I felt my hands flailing in the air, desperate for something to grab onto, until his free hand grabbed one of them and pinned it against the mattress. Somehow, that gesture made him seem a lot more dominant, and a wave of heat washed through me at the thought. I was spinning out of control, and he knew it. Yet, his movements kept on going, alternating between his mischievous tongue and the way he sucked on my most sensitive spot, causing shivers to run down my spine. I looked down at him, and the sight of him was divine. He was completely lost in pleasuring me, his eyes closed, the muscles in his back flexing as his tongue and fingers did their magic. Faster and faster he moved, and it felt like I had died and went to heaven. My breathing became short and erratic, all the while my mind was battling my body for dominance. Don’t do this, Cassie. Don’t let him -

My eyes closed shut as I felt the explosion hit me. It felt like I had been knocked out, my breath hitching in my throat, small stars appearing behind my eyelids. A large, guttural scream of pleasure filled the room, and in a small, conscious corner of my mind I couldn’t believe I was capable of making a sound like that. I felt my entire body trembling, convulsing in rhythm with his fingers and tongue that were still moving against me, lapping at my centre as if he was going to devour every single drop of me.

“St-st-stop … I can’t-” I managed to stammer as I very slowly came down from my high.

He did as I said, but only to sit up against his heels. He looked like some kind of ferocious, godly creature, as he sat there, my juices covering his mouth and chin, but only for a second. I didn’t even have the strength to protest  as he lifted my legs and entered me in one long, slow movement. I let out a strained wail at the feeling of our bodies conjoining, and that wail turned into some kind of beastly moan as he filled me so completely that I felt him at my cervix.

“Ah ... FUCK .. Cas.” He growled with pleasure from somewhere up above me, but my eyes were closed shut. I couldn’t see. Only feel. The feeling was intense, as he pulled almost all the way out until he pushed back, each time seemingly stretching me more and more from the inside. A small groan from him told me he, too, was enjoying the way I felt.

He positioned himself and my legs, so he was standing on his knees and my feet were placed on his shoulders.

“Oh my gooooooood …” I moaned as he filled me once again, his hands clenching my hips as he thrust fiercely inside me, touching every spot of pleasure that I had as he did.

My hands were sprawled out above me, my body trembling as I lay there and took all of him, seemingly incapable of anything but receiving him. I was submitted to him, belonging to him, and he was very much aware of it. Still, his fingers sought out the spot between my folds that he had kissed only moments ago, and a jolt of warmth spread out through me like fireworks. My eyes sprung open at the feeling, and I moaned loudly as we looked each other in the eyes. His expression was once again wild, like a storm that was going to swallow me whole if I didn’t get out of the way. Not that I want to … His thrusts became harder and more violent, a strange but addictive contrast to the soft touch of his fingers. I heard his breathing quicken and deep, erotic groans escaping his mouth, and the sound along with his movements was enough. This time, the trembling began before the moans, and I felt my body contracting and squeezing around his cock, which only added to the sensation. My screams of pleasure mixed with a low, long growl of his, as we both came undone at the same time. I didn’t mind the pain that followed as he squeezed roughly at my hips, holding onto me as he came. He looked painfully gorgeous in this moment, his eyes closed and his jaw clenching as the final jolts of his climax wore out. As the release washed over the both of us, his entire body went limp and he collapsed on top of me.

For a moment, we just lay there, his head resting against the nape of my neck, feeling each other’s hot and erratic breaths on skin, until I heard him speak.

“Now look what you made me do.” He feigned a tone of complete remorse, and I immediately began to laugh.

“I know, right? Shame on me.”

He moved up to rest on his elbows and looked me in the eyes. There was a twinkle in his eye and a smirk on his face, and I felt myself falling a bit too much for him.

“Bad, bad woman, you are.”

I bit my lip to keep from laughing even more.

“I’m so very sorry. That’s just … that’s just something I do.” I said between giggling fits.

“Although I admit-” He trailed a finger across my jaw while he spoke, and it almost felt like I wasn’t already completely sated. “-I could get used to this. To be fair, I have no idea why I haven’t done something like this before.”

“Oh, look. I’ve gone and made you addicted already. Shame on me, huh?”

He smiled a warm smile at me and placed a soft kiss on my cheek.

“Yes. Shame on you, Cas.”

His charm and humour kept my embarrassment and shyness at bay, as he removed himself from me and stood up, before putting on some clothes from his closet. I did the same and tried not to cringe at the still very damp dress, as I tried to put it on.

“Oh no-no, young lady. Those are soaked. You’ll loan some of my clothes.” He said.

“I … hardly think they’ll fit.” I tried to cover myself a bit as his eyes searched around the room for something and found me, still naked, in the process.

“Doesn’t matter. You’ll make a dress out of it. I.”

He found a shirt and a belt and made me put it on. As I had put them on, the weight of my actions hit me like a freight train. I wanted to hide my face in my hands, but instead, my eyes closed with the shame I felt. I don’t do this. Why did I let him do this. Why didn’t I leave. And now, he’ll probably send me home and never talk to me again ...

Somehow, he sensed the internal battle I felt, and I suddenly felt him stand in front of me. With my face blushing from the embarrassment of being here, in this situation, with him, I looked up at him as he took my face between his hands.

“You’re wearing my best shirt, darl’.”

I became flustered and confused. He had just given it for me to wear, was he going to take it away now?

“Which means … I have an excuse to see you again and get it back.” A large, wide smile spread across his face, as his eyes glinted playfully.

I hid my face and giggled at the sweetness of it all. I had thought he was going to throw me to the curb, and here he was, being a perfect gentleman.

He placed a small kiss on my cheek and took me by the hand.

“C’mon, Cas. I’ll drive you home.”

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes 7.5 or Megamorphs 1

Book 7.5/ Megamorphs 1

Why does this format of an animorph book exist? Aren’t we supposed to be under the impression that the kids are writting diaries or someshit like that?

Starts with Jake

Again, not seperating the yeerks from their hosts is a very bad mentality to have

Also aparently Ax doesn’t get to be an animorph

ALso Ax skipps out on a lot of meetings. Granted the kids could show some consideration for Ax and meet in the woods

Rachel is going on a two day gymnastics trip

Tobias is an asshole and continues to over anthropomorphise animals. I havent forgoten him sneaking into Cassie’s family’s barn to eat the patients

...Cassie teh crow can and will go where ever it pleases after it recovers. Heck it might hunt Tobias down and mob him out of spite

Melissa’s going on the trip

Wow Jake, rude. Tobias can have romantic relationships even if his body remains a bird

Marco’s the kinda jerk to crash parties he wasnt invited to

Full moon

Cassie is psychic. WHich honestly I don’t doubt.

Rachel part

Are they… all going to give intros?

Not that Jake is without his own level of stupidity. I mean, he was right there with us,

walking through an isolated, abandoned construction site that night. Wasn't the smartest

thing we ever did.

I’ve not forgotten the flea thing from book 2

Rachel gets books for Tobias

...damnit Rachel you can’t just show up at a camp without letting peolple know ahead of time. They need warning gto make sure they have room and food for you

I was close to Tobias's territory when I spotted something interesting below me. It was a

deer-like animal, running swiftly through the trees. When I focused my laser-intensity eagle

sight, I could see the semihuman torso and face and the deadly scorpion tail.

Aximili

ANd this is why large predatory bird morphs aren’t great. Rachel getting mobbed

A bunch of small birds take down Rachel

Marco part

Honestly Marco sounds like some of the jackass class clowns I had in school, Darlene’s not wrong to not invite him

The kids ARE all going to give the intro talk

Marco that is a very confusing way to talk

Ax is right, this is dishonorable

That poor mouse

Ax has parasites. ANd Marco is extorting? him to help him be a creep b4 he’d give Ax medicine for them. Dick

Technically speaking none of the kids actually knows how the morphing tech works

When I was done acquiring the mouse I handed it to Ax. He had to use both hands to hold

on. Andalite arms and hands are kind of puny. Of course, they also have four legs, and

those are pretty strong. I mean, Ax can haul when he wants to. I'll bet he could do forty

miles an hour.

Baby arms

So the reason Marco wasn’t invited IS b/c he’s a dick

A bunch of jays took out Rachel

Part Jake? What?

That whent jake> rachel>marco>jake? Bullshit

You don’t have to go to a party if you don’t want to people

Why couldn’t this part be narrated by Cassie? She’s fucking here!

Jake is fucking ready, fight or flight

Marco and Ax are very lucky none of the kids or adults at the party try to crush them to death

Huh, Marco and Ax are lucky that none manages to crush them to death

Jake is ready to cuss the shit outta Marco

Accidental human pileup saves Jake’s life

Part… Marco? BULSTIT SHILSHSTSOSHS

AX IS RIGHT THERER LET HIM NARRATE YOU THINDER CUNTS

I hate this human centric bs and it fucking leaves out Cassie

Marco,,, cats are very good at NOT being seen. Ambush predators

Marco is a dick

Then I saw it. It was gigantic! Enormous! A creature that seemed to be made of nothing but

teeth and blades and destruction. It was like twenty Hork-Bajir glued together and given

dragon wings.

heh

Poor Darlene’s family

It looked down at us with a dozen weird eyes that seemed to be stuck here and there at

random. It stared at us the way I'd seen Tobias stare at his prey.

Part, sigh, Rachel

Rachel has amnesia

Ns somehow started morphing while unconcious

If you wonder if yer a freak and are that startled with yer apperance, then no that’s not always how you were

If you need to concentrate to morph, how’d u managed that far with a heavy concussion/unconciousness?

Part Tobias

Damnit they are all giving the intro speech

Huh, so marco and ax coulda gotten killed twice b4 they even got to the party

Also the fuck how is the yeerks covering the wind monster

Part fucking Rachel

...why is this creature wasting so much energy instead of just flowing around the trees

Like people are seeing this shit

Finally! Part Cassie

Cassie spotted cryptid Rachel in the news

Part Rachel. WHy not just have her narrate the whole book at this point?

There’s an excaped yeerk host living in an abandoned clothing shop in the woods

Well, thaty’s not an unreasonable response for an excaped host

Rachel got some memories beaten back intio her

Oh she might be one of the people who’s yeerk starved from the actions of last book

Part fucking Jake again

The kids are gonna track down Rachel by scent

The monster found them

Part rachel

Old lady is gonna burn down the shack, with Rachel inside, b/c she’s not going back to the yeerk pool

Rachel morphs bear without concentrating or intending to or even knowing how

These bootleg books are so bad. Part Marco

They’d be dead if the creature turned back to particle form and just reformed around their bodies

Part Rachel. Really this is mostly just Rachel/Jake/Marco as narrators. No attempt at equaly splitting up the plot

I looked at the new creature. It had come to a stop, just a dozen feet away. I peered at it

with my dim bear vision. It had four legs, like a horse or a deer. But it seemed to have a

head and upper body that was almost human. And there was a tail, I was sure of that. The

tail was cocked back like a weapon ready to be fired.

Andalite

Fifteen fucking chapters in and Ax finally gets to narrate

Ax does the intro speech

Ax says he’s not an animorph

Ax doesnt like having to be the space expert

Ax tucks his tail to his back to run fast

Ax is smart enought to know when standing yer ground is a terrible idea

Ax figured out that morphing attracts the beast.

Morphing has a distinct kind of energy signature

Part jake

Andalites have a distinct scent

Ok lots of animals can harm or kill a large bear. This is turning into a raptors are mahjestick thing

Tobias assumes that Ax tried to fight the creature. Tobias doesn’t really know Ax well enough

Part Cassie

Why are they at the mall?

AGain I wouldn’t be surprised if Cassie is supposed to be psychic

You don’t mean Chapman, you mean Iniss 226

Learning about history is useful in figuring out humans and with invasion plans Cassie

Part Ax

… do andalites even have battle axes? They dont have the arms for it

Once, the Hork-Bajir were a decent, peaceful race. Then they were enslaved by the Yeerks.

Hork-Bajir are incredibly dangerous and very powerful. They stand on two legs, balanced

by a tail. Each leg ends in a foot, like an Earth bird of prey. They have two arms. There are curved blades at their knees, at their elbows, at their wrists. Blades similar to my own tail-

blade. Atop their snakelike heads are two more blades, swept forward. And their tails end in long, sharp spikes.

They are not a species you want to start a fight with. Which may be why they were such a

peaceful, even poetic, species. They had no one to fear. Until the Yeerks began to make

them into Controllers.

The series did so much retconing

Again, I like the Parting the Clouds fic so much better. At least there someone tried to figure out how to use the aura power

Veleek is the dust monster, from Saturn

So the andalite bandits being human was a solid yeerk theory

Visser 3 continues to waste good bodies

Visser 3 throew a lot of bodies into getting a veleek pet

Part Cassie

Compund eyes dont work like that

Iniss 226 knows about spy novels and thinks they’re stupid

Iniss 226 is not a dumb yeerk

Also Visser 3 is the worst boss

Part rachel

Rachel is starting to put things together

Part Marco

The kids ar eputting 2 and 2 together

Part rachel

Rachel made it back to civilization

Rachel breaks into a house for food and rest’

Some snitchy bitch called the police

Rachel the elephant says fuck the police

Part jake

The kids steal Cassie’s dad’s truck

Part rachel

The veleek chases elephant Rachel

The veleek cant pick up an elephant

Part marco

Why do they have marco drive?

Also that poor truck

Jack morphs to lure the creature’s attention

Part jake

Why did jake choose tiger for being chased?

Part rachel

Doesnt quite have her memory back but ready to help

Part ax

Ax feels like a failure of a warrior

Suddenly, one wall of my cage shimmered and became transparent. Ramonite is a metal

that can stretch open or be made clear or opaque by molecular realignment.

Nice’

Ax is also racist towards taxxons

Visser 3 is a terrible boss

Part marco

That poor truck

Why choose gorrila for a chase?>

Part rachel

Cassie tries to fill the gaps fotr rachel

Part marco

Part cassie

Cassie chooses squirlle

Bug fighters are stooting at em

Part ax

So bug fighters and shit DO have cameras

Flea ex machina

Ax morphs one of his fleas

… theres no way in hell thast theres no bugs on the andalite homeworld

Thats not what a flea mouth is like

Ax says that andalites have a shit vertical jump

Part marco

The veleek caught him

Ax is on Visser 3

Ax is having a blast fucking up Visser 3’s day

Part ax

And only then, locked together with it, was I able to see it through my weak flea eyes. It

was alive! It was a creature my own size, but with a hundred minuscule wings that beat the

air. It had antennae, but different than any seen on Earth. These antennae were covered in

tiny, upturned bowls. Like the dishes of primitive human radio telescopes. Those were the

structures it used to sense energy sources.

There were no eyes. And no mouth. But two long filaments, like strands of wire, swept

back from the front of the creature. These must be how it fed: by channeling the energy

down the wires.

The Veleek was not one creature. It was billions! It was a swarm of billions of these tiny

creatures. They had evolved into a swarm that could come together and become a

destructive entity of gnashing teeth and slicing blades. But in reality they were separate

insectlike creatures that fed on energy.

Its a swarm of navivorous bugs

Water is the veleek’s weakness

Marco and Ax jump out of the ship

Part rachel

Her memory is mostly back

Hork-bajir have foot long blades on their head, that’s impoalement’

Part marco

Fear speads up thei morphing

Part jake

Jake is grounded

The team apparently whent home without knowing if marco and ax were alive

Part cassie

Cassie is psychic and can probably see the future

Cassie comes up with a plan that only she can do

To make up for almost getting marco killed

Part tobias

So did Cassie not have a whale morph already? DIdn’t marco get one when they’d met the psychic whales?

Or am I thinking of a fanfic?

Part cassie

Cassie is awesome

Cetaceans are just canon psychic

Part tobias

Cassie is a total badass

Part cassie

Rapid fire morphing

Falling whale body slam

Part rachel

So apparently the veleek never evaporates out of the ocean at any point later?

Cassie speaks whale . Cassie is the one chosen by the whales. All hail the whale messiah

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes 5

Book 5

Narrated by Marco

Marco plays around with the opening spiel

What the fuck Marco, groceries from a 7-11? Where the fuck is Child services?

Marco tries to fuckin talk himself out of some superhero shit, fails and saves an old man from some thieves with morphing

...Marco may have killed one of the punks by either breaking his ribs or spine with that hit

Old man apparently doesn’t know what a fucking gorilla is and threatens to shoot Marco. Ungrateful old man

Jake apparently would rather Marco helped the old man in human form.

Marco’s done the best so far to not make a huge singular info dump in his opening

I still don’t understand when Jake b/c in charge? Like all these kids are fucking dumbasses but it seemed like Rachel was doing better at the taking charge thing.

No, Cassie is legit a manipulator Marco, demonstrated that in the last few books

I don’t know if its the original writing or the person transfering shit to bootleg ebook, but Black should be capitalized in reference to a person

Applegate has a fierce birds of prey fetish

Marco uses humor to hide his fear

Rachel would make a better superhero than Marco

Marco is good at math

I’m pretty sure folks that fight for honor don’t do a lot of actual face to face fighting.

Ax has never been anywhere near an actual fight. This bitch is just parroting propaganda

Marco calls out Ax’s shit

It takes Ax 3 mins to finish a morph, Cassie about 2 mins.

Its weird when people say animals and birds, like birds aren’t animals. Its mammal default language

The entire concept that they can morph clothes defeats the idea that morphing is solely based on dna.

I have a feeling that these kids could probably morph those really thin , flexible show things or even socks.

Marco, humans ARE animals.

Ax needs lessons on how to human properly

Ax can’t control his morph

Ax is also a fucking dumbass

Zero space, a non-reality? So, its imaginary? Ok.

Faster than the speed of light is impossible, but it's doable in an imaginary reality. Sounds legit

Ax his proven himself to be the biggest dumbass on the team. He fucking stole Jake’s spot.

Ok but like I’m pretty sure that mall cop controller would remember the face of the kid who turned into an andalite.

Also how many witnesses either got killed or made into controllers from this incident?

How the fuck do the cops and mall cops don’t recognize Jake and Marco’s faces too after this?

See shit like this is why I’m leaning more on mind stuff being more important in morphing

Marco advocates that the lady release the lobsters she bought into a habitat they likely don’t belong to

And these kids are lucky if that lady never gets made into a controller

Marco has a nightmare about the lobster thing

Tobias’ life would not be as hard if he weren’t the kinda dumbass who chooses to live as a wild animal

So the ship cloaking devices just kinda bend radar and shit into an unreal reality. Sounds legit

The kids are gonna steal a z-space transponder from Iniss 226

Rachel is not for plans that endanger people she cares about

Ax owns up to his fuck up

Jake is not comfortable with all the vore he’s done. Jake tries to explain that eating bits of Rachel was not that bad

Also, ants and fleas are nothing alike. That’s like saying that oxpeckers and naked mole rats should handle the same since they’re both small vertebrates

And its almost the 2 yr anniversary on Marco’s mom’s death  

Marco’s conscience gets the better of him again

….Did ….did Cassie forget that ants are highly territorial and kill ants that aren’t related to them?

The house next to Chapman’s is empty

Cassie tried to morph from one animal to another and that failed, so no one else tries to do it. But like I’m remembering that book where Marco stress morphed hybrid animals and I’m wonder could he morph from one morph straight to another if he put his mind to it?

Hive minds are not a thing. EVery insect in a hive is its own individual.

Jumping spiders would probably have been a better morph is only b/c they’ve got good eye sight

Ants tend to be almost all female

Marco uses the yeerk computer and Ax reads Iniss 226’s emails

Everyone almost dies to ants, but they did get the transponder.

If they brought Melissa into the fold do you think she coulda gotten it for them? Or just got them in and out without the near death experience

Seriously its been almost two years and Marco’s pretty much taking care of his dad. That’s not ok.

These kids are not alright with getting dismembered. Rachel in particular gets in a fight with another girl named Jessica who outweighs her by probably 50 lbs and thinks she’s tough.

And Marco gets a black eye intervening

Marco and Rachel talk, these kids def do not have a solid read on eachother but Rachel appreciates Marco’s jokes\

Tobias comes up with an area for them to enact their plan, an abandoned quarry an hours flight from Cassie’s place

Marco has decided to quit the team, this is his last mission. So somethings probably gonna happen to keep him on the team by the end of the book’

He has nearly died more than the others

Ax’s bird is a harrier

Again at what angle is Tobias flying at to hit a hork-bajir’s eyes and avoid the blades on their head?

Oh hey! Their trap got turned into a trap for them

Ax’s info was outdated and got them captured

Visser 3 wants to know why the andalite bandits have a fucking child with them.

Made the planet over in our image, huh.

...the fuck was that Cassie? Why the absolute fuck would the yeerks let morph capable humans go?

The andalite homeworld has less ocean and more grasslands

Visser 3’s forces have red and black uniforms...in space. While Visser 1’s are gold and black

What a coincidence! Marco’s dead mom is controlled by Visser 1 and thus he has a reason to stay in the fight

Ax, shut the fuck up.

And Visser 3, apparently likes being the only yeerk who can morph and killing these potential hosts would be a very bad move for the empire ya dingus

Uhhh, huh I guess that would be rape by deception if Visser 1 fucked Marco’s dad

So it’s andalite culture to just give up in a tough situation. Idk, makes sense with the ritual suicide thing.

SO why dies that hork-bajir controller speak such fluent English? Why is their hork-bajir host so big?

Also Visser 1 decides that sabotaging the war effort is ok to embarrass Visser 3. Visser 1 is a shit leader

The kids escape and Marco doesn’t want Jake to tell anyone about his mom

Marco’s dad finally decides to get his shit together and be a proper parent