#cause I remember being 14 and seeing so many cool artists on here and wanting to do what they do

[illumerie]

feelin happy cause I'm taking lots of product photos for my shop update and it's reminding me of all the fun stuff I've been able to make recently!!! and like yea this year hasnt been superb cause I'm in a very transitionery time but I've been able to do soo much stuff art-wise I'm happy 🥰

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Miraculous Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon

Warning: Spoilers! Other than that, have fun!

Also, if you want to watch the full English Dub, click here!

I love how we saw Fei's backstory as to how she became guardian of the Prodigious and how it was actually stolen because there are people who want money from her adoptive father's studio. It was also sad to see that the values her father implemented into her fade due to the circumstances they found themselves in. I speak for all of us to say that this girl needs a hug.

The intro as always is beautiful! Since it was not the first thing we saw, I was confused when looking through the episodes on YT.

I always enjoy Marinette's monologues, and this one was over how she looked forward to her holiday (it was like a vacation type thing). And how she looked forward to spend time with Adrien since his father was going to let him out. It was all perfect...

...until she went to deliver Uncle Wang's package and found out Adrien left for Shanghai at the last minute. But all is good though because she could go to Shanghai, deliver the gift personally, and see Adrien.

It hurts me to see that the writers made Marinette's purpose to go to Shanghai is to see Adrien when she can do that in Paris! It frustrates me that her character development goes back to square one, even as the protagonist of the show. People might point out this was before season 3, but I have a few points that say otherwise or that the writers are mixing things up. But first, the plot points and thoughts of everything else.

Also, I get that Marinette is 14/15/16 at the time of this episode, but how likely is it to send your child on their own halfway across the world??? On SHORT NOTICE??? I swear Sabine and Tom are too chill with this, but then again, there would be no story.

Also, I love how Ladybug and Chat Noir took the opportunity of their patrols without akumas to bond more. The Ladynoir in this episode I stan!

Gabriel you piece of trash! If you did not plan to spend time with your son, why take him to Shanghai when he was hoping to spend time with you?! And do not say "for business purposes" because even though Adrien is a face in the brand, at least don't give him false hope and that bs!

Nooro, thank you for trying to talk Gabriel out of it, but he is literally a wall (talking to Gabriel=talking to a wall)

I will say, the waiting for 15 years thing is very concerning.

Uncle Wang has been looking forward to see Marinette in person in Shanghai to learn more about her roots. He is ecstatic and its just heartwarming and heartbreaking when you think that part of Marinette's stay will be related to Adrien.

At least we see one thing that makes Marinette's stay not all about Adrien though: she is genuinely interested in her origins! Like when she asks about her family's traditional songs and about her mom, even learning her real name!

Speaking of which, Sabine's name is Xia Ping and only called herself Sabine when she started living in France. Also, I love her photo!

Bastille the bird that was around since forever is an icon!

Also, I can't believe Uncle Wang has not taken a break since Sabine moved to France, like what the hell??? Give this guy a break for goodness sake.

Thank you Gabriel for having one brain cell and allowing your son to leave the hotel! We still hate you for everything else though.

Its cool that Kwamis speak all of the languages. It is also the most logical thing because their wielder could be from anywhere. My question is are they taught the languages, does it form when a concept forms in the universe and they start existing, or like everything else is it magic?

Gorilla is iconic for two reasons: he is still a self care king, and he was willing to give Adrien some space to get action figures.

And now as I wrote that, this is where I am getting confused and start to believe this is post season 3: 1) Gorilla seems less anxious about being in a new place (unlike NY where he stayed in the hotel room the entire time), and 2) His obsession for action figures was shown in Party Crasher (season 3), which makes me wonder if the explanation is during season 3 or this episode hints at season 3. For the first point, it could be because Gabriel was not in NY to his knowledge.

Fei appears again and explains how she views the world and how she also uses that to help and take advantage of others.

She almost steals Adrien's phone and miraculous until Gorilla steps in. It hurts me because she is a good person but had to resort to stealing for a reason that we will explore soon.

Plagg, we always say your stomach causes trouble, but this time, you brought Adrien to Marinette's uncle...

...but also that ironically separated them as Marinette found them just as they climbed into the taxi.

This is also where Fei (wearing a disguise) crosses paths with Marinette and steals her purse. Then she went for the kwagatama and miraculous.

Things get worse for Fei as these boys that took a photo with Adrien earlier started chasing her. Then Marinette started going after them.

That is when she realized she was robbed and understandably, she was more horrified of losing her Miraculous.

Adrien shows up to Uncle Wang's home/restaurant. So many iconic moments happen.

1) Bastille says something about love between Marinette and Adrien. And Adrien responds with the line that makes us want to jump into the TV and talk some sense into him.

2) You say that "she's JuST a fRIenD" yet you stay over with her mom's uncle so you can surprise her lol. Adrien, you kill me and every other Adrienette fan with this contradicting statements.

Speaking of Marinette, she gets lost and has trouble communicating with others because she does not speak Chinese. And at some point says that she regrets not taking lessons?! Uh, what does this imply, that she refused lessons or that she did not have the opportunity for lessons??????? I NEED ANSWERS!

Can we say once again how talented and artistic Marinette is? Bad time? Moving on!

Uncle Wang is unaware of Marinette's tardiness, and Adrien just jokes about it. Considering that she is technically missing (reality is that she's lost), I don't think its time to joke about it.

The lady that gave Marinette some earrings that look like the Miraculous is so nice and bless her soul

The person from the pawn shop is the bad guy that we see at the very end of the NY special! And he knows about what happened to Fei's father! I am grateful that he sees no value in Marinette's stuff so he won't sell it for a lot, but I hate how he's greedy for money and was willing to exploit Fei's hunger for answers and Marinette needing her miraculous for personal gains.

Meanwhile, the boys from the photo with Adrien that chased Fei were trying to get Marinette's attention (they found her kwagatama when Fei dropped it running away and fighting them), but she thought they were gonna attack her. And then she bumps into Fei, who helps her escape.

Marinette finds comfort in Fei for being willing to "help" her (remember that she was gonna bring her to the pawn shop). She also finds Fei as a helpful, kind person who is brave: something that Fei does not see in herself, but does not have the heart to tell Marinette the truth.

Meanwhile, Chat has transformed to find Marinette and its the most endearing thing I've seen! Adrien, you blind oblivious fool! You care about her more than you think!

They arrive in the pawn shop, Tikki escaped the claw machine, and Marinette finds the earrings...for 100000 Yuan.

Fei, understanding what its like to have something entrusted to you be stolen, gets in a spat with the pawn shop owner in Chinese, accusing the owner for greed and accusing Fei for theft, while Marinette just stands her.

Also, when did Marinette become naive???????? I get that she's in another country and they are speaking in a different language that she does not understand, but based on the tone of their voices and shouting, I feel like she should have sensed something was off.

Fei swaps the earrings the lady gave Marinette and took the miraculous back. To the lady, this is why your soul is blessed. So bless your soul!!!

Apparently, Marinette realized what happened and said that Fei stole her earrings and feels bad for the man. Girl, you do not have to feel guilty for the man! He was about to destroy them before he thought about sentimental value! Also, he did not pay Fei anything for them! (Felt that this should be brought up because even though Fei was wrong in stealing her stuff, she was also robbed from potential cash and answers, therefore the man was owed nothing.)

The boys from Adrien's photo are actually vigilantes of Shanghai (and will be referred as such from now on), wanting to bring Fei to justice for stealing, which catches Marinette's attention, but not enough to ask any questions.

Also Marinette is not wanted as a criminal. She is missing as Uncle Wang called the police.

Fei still lives in the school, which has been in ruins. Despite not having much, she still offers Marinette a cup of what I believe is water (or tea?). See peoples, Fei is a good person at heart (if y'all aren't aware of it by now)

Gabriel saw and recognized Marinette. This is horrifying and if it is prior to season 3, we see why he tries so hard to target her. Or reasons why he targets her in season 4 along with everything else we know from "Truth".

Fei should have been given the chance to explain why she stole Marinette's things, but the pawn shop owner was like "you know, I might as well expose Fei myself"...

...and it really broke Marinette, who heavily trusted her. But she can't dwell on it for long...

...because AKUMA COMES FOR THE PAWN SHOP OWNER! AND HIS FAN SHOOTS KNIVES! AND HAS GREEDY MOTIVES! AND HELPED HAWKMOTH GET INTI THE CAVE WITH THE PRODIGIOUS!!!

Also, Nathalie was involved in obtaining the bracelet years ago. Again, the 15 years thing is concerning.

Marinette flees to transform, but not without telling Fei how she broke her trust and how she feels that Feinwas not genuinely helping her. It hurt me so much!

Ladybug transforms, hears Chat's voice-mail (to which she is swooned by the fact her kitty cares for her civilian self), and calls him. The best Ladynoir scene so far!

So the prodigious is like a jewel with powers, there is only one prodigious from what we see, and that one prodigious has multiple renlings that only the wielder can see. Oh, and the bracelet is like a key. Cool.

I don't like how Fei's Lady Dragon outfit looks whitewashed, but at least her hair is red instead of blonde (which still does not make this okay)

Epic Showdown between the akuma, Hawkmoth, Ladybug, and Lady Dragon. Hawkmoth corners Ladybug and Lady Dragon gets caught in some rocks.. All hope seemed lost...

...until Chat shows up and frees the akuma with the help of a basketball.

We learn something new folks: the same butterfly can create a different akuma. This is very frightening because...

The statue that determines who is worthy of the prodigious gets akumatized! The horror!

Also, if the statue says Fei cannot become the dragon because her intention to seek vengeance for her father is not noble and worthy, then what makes Hawkmoth think he will be successful in becoming the dragon??? Because it seems that his intentions are not pure or noble. Just saying.

Hawkmoth notices the akumatized statue heading to the city and all of a sudden remembers about Adrien. Confronting the statue, he gets turned into ashes(?).

CHAT, HAWKMOTH IN ASHES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE BETTER IF THE STATUE DID NOT DESTROY SHANGHAI AND YOU WOULD NOT THINK AS SUCH IF YOU KNEW HE WAS YOUR FATHER! But I am not mad at you, just wanted to point out your irony.

ML WRITERS, WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING OFF CHAT????? LADYBUG DOES NOT NEED ANY MORE TRAUMA AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!! I AM SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!

Fei is understandably upset and blames herself for what happen. I want to hug her so badly.

Marinette reassures Fei and forgives her, even though Fei felt that she could not be forgiven.

The structure they were standing on collapses and it was Fei as the Dragon who saved her, not Chat. Honestly, I love how it turned out as it strengthens their friendship, but I still prefer a Marichat alternative. WHERE IS THE MARICHAT PEOPLES???

Final showdown!

Poor statue guard was upset about the damage they caused as an akuma, but Miraculous Ladybiug fixes everything.

Fei learned an important lesson: let justice take its course, not enact revenge. But it was quite funny to have the pawn shop owner be flown away to court in a literal sense.

The bracelet has a renling-like creature, who is just so adorable, especially since they missed Fei and was waiting for the day they would be reunited. Aww!

Ladynoir version of the Moon scene from NYC! Except no dancing, just them challenging each other over who will get to Paris first if they traveled in opposite directions. No one shall ever know we were in Shanghai as civilians lol (Reminds me of my best friend when eating grapes during choral rehearsals)

Marinette, Adrien, Fei, and Uncle Wang enjoying a birthday (?) dinner was wholesome.

I love how Uncle Wang calls them boyfriend and girlfriend because of how they act around each other, yet Marinette and Adrien both deny it. Bruh, these children need to open their fricking eyes! I really wanted to jump through my phone screen!

The Shanghai Vigilantes came to return Marinette's kwagatama necklace. They are so precious even though we thought they were enemies in the trailer.

Even though they were at odds at first, love how the Vigilantes blushed when Fei played the accordion and she's just like "whatever". I stan an asexual queen.

Do I even want to know what Marinette accidentally said when she mispronounced "sister" in Chinese? Based on what Fei said, probably not.

Uh...NOW I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ADRIEN TEACHING MARINETTE CHINESE! While I do take some issue of Adrien (a white French boy) teaching Marinette her culture like most of us had issue with in "Kung Food", I also want to see them interact outside of school and hopefully bond. ML writers need to keep their word otherwise Adrienette stans will riot!

Love how the final scene turned out! Its just *chef's kisses*

Also, the hell with the business trip?? It was mentioned once again IN THE ENDCARD! It might not be as interesting, but I want to think that there was more truth to it.

Also, wifi troubles kept interrupting the show at crucial moments, but okay.

Overall, I live for the Shanghai episode! The animation is just as incredible as the NY special (which I also live for) and I love how this episode has a great focus on Fei and the prodigious. I mean, before the intro, she tells her story. And she has her monologues alongside Marinette's. In many ways, it's refreshing. Also, Ladynoir and Adrienette stans will be satiated with the scenes associated with each ship. Also, I love Fei's character development! And the final scene is wholesome!

I won't lie though: there are a few issues regarding whitewashing Fei's transformation and such. It is important to see these things and as a good friend of mine always says: you can enjoy something while also being critical of it. And that is very important no matter how devotive to something you actually are.

Anyways, we are being well fed with all the Miraculous content and I will see you all very soon! Also, get some sleep peoples! I know some of you aren't sleeping!

[xmalereader]

Thomas Shelby X Sam Winchester X Male Reader

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|| Masterlist ||

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Requested: Okay so maybe tommy Shelby x sam winchester x Male reader...okay so Male reader will fill graces shoes and basically kill inspector Campbell, after that mr sam winchester comes along as the new inspector and maybe, readers caught feelings for sam (didn’t kiss tommy or have sex with him) and maybe sam seduces Male reader to go on his side?? 💓 I just thought it was a cool idea

Warnings: language, blood, violence, slight smut, Sam being attractive as hell!! Thomas acts like a big brother, slight homophobia.

Tags: @softboi-vibes

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Working for Mr. Campbell was one of the worst things that y/n had to go through, he had to handle being around that god forsaken man who was desperate to destroy the Shelby family who Y/n had become very close friends with. He was suppose to lure Thomas into a trap so that Campbell could catch him in the act but Y/n coulnd’t allow that, so he made his own plan and reversed it. Tricking Campbell into meeting him privately, telling him that he had some valuable information about the Shelby’s.

Of course he takes the bait.

He meets up with Campbell by the train station and doesn’t heasitate to pull out his gun and shoot him right on the head. He doesn’t really remember clearly on what happened but he does remember pulling the trigger and seeing Campbell’s limp body lying on the floor with blood spilled everywhere.

He waited a few days before meeting up with the Shelby’s, only to come clean and confess about using them but to also killing Campbell. He expected the Shelby’s to kill him right there on the spot but instead Thomas decided to remain trusting him and to welcome him into the family with open arms, which y/n found very odd for the very dangerous family. He waits all day, thinking that they would quickly kill him when he is distract but that shot never came.

Its been 14 months since the confession and things were slowly getting back to normal.

“Get out of my kitchen.”

“Your kitchen?”

“Yes, now out.”

Y/n was standing in Thomas’ kitchen, cooking them some dinner since he’s been bored being locked indoors. Thomas has been dealing with some very bad people and has forced y/n to stay indoors until it was safe for them, so being locked inside wasn’t a very fun thing since he had nothing to keep hismelf distracted. He’s polished the guns, cleared around the house, even though they had maids.

He was also an artist and had painted out some of the horses that were out in the fields but that didn’t entertain him enough. So, lately he’s been cooking. He knows that a women is suppose to do that but he had nothing else to do, so with all the free time in his hands he’s learned how to bake and cook some very amazing dishes that he’s been claiming the kitchen as his now. Now, only allowing the maids and hismelf to step in but Thomas wasn’t allowed in.

“I just need some whiskey.” Said Thomas as he gives him a look at y/n recorganized too much. With a sigh of defeat he steps to the side to allow him in. “Don’t cause a mess or I will stab you.” He warns him which only caused Thomas to chuckle at him before grabbing a bottle of whiskey and a glass.

“Is it safe to go out now?” He decides to ask as he walks over to tommy, leaning on the counter as he sighs. “Not very sure anymore.” He responds back. “Just found out today that their is a new inspector.” He pours himself some whiskey and shakes his head. “this fucker is smarter than the last one.” He mumbled out through gritted teeth, obviously showing his anger.

“How good?”

“Good enough to know everything about us, including the maids and butlers.” Said tommy as he chugs down his drink. Y/n frowns and crosses his arms over his chest, “So, you’re saying that it isn’t even safe inside anymore?”

“Nowhere is safe.” Tommy sets his glass cup down before rubbing his eyes and shaking his head. “You can leave the house now but I can’t promise you that you won’t be watched. Coppers are lurking everywhere, be careful.”

Y/n rolls his eyes. “You make it sound like I can’t take care of myself even though I’ve been doing it for years.” He sighs softly before rubbing his neck, “Do you know their name?” He asks, wanting to know a bit more so that he can be prepared.

Tommy glanced at him. “He goes by Mr. Winchester.” He clears his throat and takes out another cigerette from his coat. “I’ve seen him around Birmingham.” He places the cigar between his lips as y/n eyes him. “He’s easy to spot since he’s tall but he’s dangerous, actually caught some of my men doing private bettings. He nearly killed them.” He explains.

Y/n has dealt with Campbell and his own damn coopers, he’s seen the way that things work on their side of the law and he wasn’t afraid of this new man in charge. If he could handle Campbell then he could handle Winchester.

Back in Birmingham; Thomas and his family were having a family meeting while y/n leaned against a wall, listening to tommy speak with a frown on his face.

“Tommy, what are we going to do about this Winchester?” Asked John. “He’s got fucking coopers everywhere!”

“That fucking bastard cornered me on the way home, asking me questions about you lot.” Ada butts in with a glare on her face. She was not happy about this and hated being Involved, she moved to London for a reason. So that she can stay out of her own brothers troubles without having to put her own son in danger.

Tommy blows out some smoke before licking his lips. “I know Ada, this bastard is smarter than the last one and we need to play his game carefully.”

“Game?! Thomas—!”

“Ada!” Thomas shouts, causing her to shut up.

The room goes silent.

Y/n bites his lip and pushes himself off the walls. “Let me talk to him.” He says, getting everyone’s attention. “I know how these people work, I used to be one of them.” He begins to explain. “If I can get close to him and gain his trust, I can learn everything about him. His weaknesses and use them against him before he decides to either kill us all or to throw you lot into jail.”

“How do we know you won’t use us again?” Said Arthur this time as he stands and walks over to y/n, his hands balled up into fists as the other takes a step back. “I won’t.” He tells him with a stern voice.

“Arthur, y/n has helped us before. We can trust him.” Said Thomas as he steps between the two, trying to calm his older brother down.

Both y/n and Arthur had never connected well. One had some serious anger issues while the other could be a lying cheat and just trying to find a way to survive this cruel world. “Yes arthur, listen to your brother and sit down like a good boy.” He grins evilly at him.

Arthur growls and jerks forward, grabbing y/n by the collar and pulling him forward, getting ready to punch him. Y/n didn’t flinch at all as he chuckles at the older man, watching the others try to pry him off as Thomas and John shove arthur back.

“That’s enough!” Thomas shouts and turns to y/n, pointing a finger at him as he pants. “Go and do what you can, find some information and report back.” He orders only to earn a scoff from y/n as he leaves the small apartment.

How the hell was he suppose to find Winchester?! He didn’t know how he looked like or how he acted so how was he suppose to know who he is looking for? This is a small town this man could be anywhere.

Y/n rubs his temples and tries to think. “Fuck this I’m going to get myself a drink.” He mutters out as he walks down the rocky road and towards the nearest bar. He would head to the Garrison but he knew that the brothers would be there soon and he didn’t want to deal with them right now. Thomas is probably upset about him trying to start another fight with his brother since the last one was a pretty brutal fight.

The two were all covered in blood and bruises, the first to break up the fight was y/n since he had a pocket knife in his hand and was holding it up against Arthur’s throat only to be stopped by Thomas who had rushed inside the apartment building to pull y/n off Arthur. The two of them were always causing a fight somewhere and Thomas always knew.

Finding a pub located farther away from town he enters the place only to find it half full. Some of the men were drinking at the bar table while others laughed and talked. Lucky for him he was able to find an empty booth that was located far in the back corner, he orders his drink first before sitting down. He sighs and leans his head back as he tries to think of places of where this ‘Winchester’ could be.

Without noticing, a tall man approached his booth causing him to tilt his head to the side and raise a brow.

“Mind if I join you?”

Y/n rasies both brows by the sudden American voice. He sits up straight and clears his throat, waving his hand towards the empty spot in front of him. He watches the man carefully as he gives him a nod and sits across from him with his own drink in hand.

He can’t help but feel a little suspicious about the American. Not many Americans visit England since it is know for its gangs and rivalry with some other countries, during this time of year things haven’t been going to well with politics and elections.

One of the barmaids approaches y/n and sets his drink down in front of him. He silently thanks her and takes his drink in hand.

“Scotch? You look like someone who drinks whiskey.”

He looks up to face the man sitting across from him, giving him a chuckle. “Scotch isn’t as strong as whiskey and I prefer to drink this for tonight.” He says back, taking a sip from his drink as the other laughs. “Planning on getting yourself a whore tonight?”

Y/n frowns. “I don’t do whores, I’m not like Everyman In this town who only think with their cocks.” He spits out rudely, not really caring if the other man thought of him as rude.

The man holds up a hand in apology. “My apologies, Most men around here only come to bars to look for a whore but I’m guessing that some are quiet different.”

Y/n sets his drink down, leaning forward he crosses his arms ontop of the table. “Tell me, what’s an American like you doing in a small town like this? Why not the big city where you can really enjoy the view.”

“I’m not a big fan of cities, prefer the country side really.” He tips his drink downwards as he stares at the remaining liquid inside. “I’m just here to explore.” He finally adds.

Y/n didn’t really believe him. No human being would dare come to birmingham only to explore. It was one of the most dangerous places to be since it was run by the Shelby family, a gang that liked using this town as a game. The people being their pawns and the town being the board, waiting for someone to make a move so that the Shelby’s can take the win.

“Exploring, huh? Not many people come to explore.” Y/n downs the rest of his drink before standing, giving the man a smirk. “People in Birmingham only come here to find a good time.” He says. “And to find something or someone to fuck.”

The other rasies a brow. “What about you? What are you here for?”

Y/n stays frozen in spot, no one has really asked him something like that before. He’s here because he was suppose to get rid of the Shelby’s but inside he became a part of them and worked for them. He’s the one who handles the dirty work but since Thomas has been keeping him locked away he feels like he should use his own skills for something else, right?

“Nothing.” Is all y/n says. He really doesn’t know why he’s still here.

He watches as the other finishes his drink and sets his cup down on the table. “Guess we both have nothing to do then.” Y/n huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “You wanted to ‘explore’ what happened to that?”

“There’s nothing to explore here,” he stands from the booth and is suddenly in front of y/n. “Unless you have something that we can do together, maybe something fun?” He grins.

“Hm, tempting but no.” Y/n sends him a fake smile before turning around and heading out the doors. He leaves the pub and heads down the empty streets, it was growing dark and he was wasting daylight, maybe having a drink wasn’t such a good idea. He shakes his head and continues his way down the road only to be stopped by some drunkard.

“We’re too pretty boy?” The drunk slurs out as y/n groans and rolls his eyes. “I can’t have one peaceful night can I?” He mutters out angrily as the drunk reaches out to grip his arm. Y/n tries to pull away but the other had a strong grip. “The hell—?” He groans as he tugs harder. “Now, now, pretty. Wouldn’t want to cause any attention?” The drunk chuckles as he pulls him close, causing y/n to gag from the horrible smell of booze and cigars.

“Let go of me you filthy swine!!” He shouts this time and knees him in the gut, feeling the grip loosen as he takes his chance to pull away quick and to glare at the drunk. “You bastard!” The other groans out as he pulls out his pistol, y/n’s eyes widen as he reaches under his coat to take out his own gun.

He hears the sound of a gun go off, causing him to gasp in fright as he looks up the see the drunk man with a bullet in the chest, slowly falling to his knees before falling face first to the dirt ground.

“That wasn’t very nice, now was it?”

He looks over his shoulder to see the same man that sat across from him at the pub, holding his own gun in hand. He gives y/n a look before putting his gun away and leaning down to help him up. “You alright?”

Y/n gawks at him. “Yes, yeah, thank you.” He breaths out in shock.

“Good, for a second there I thought I woukd have to step in until you quickly defended yourself.”

“Not my first time dealing with men like him.” Y/n chuckles out nervously.

“Really? How did that end up.” He asks in curiosity. “Let’s just say that some of them are missing a few friends of their own, if you know what I mean?”

The man cringes before laughing. “Your a tough one, I like that.”

Y/n grins. “Thanks.”

The two are silent for awhile until the other is the first to speak. “I’m Sam.” He extends his hand out. “Y/n.” He shakes sams hand with a small smile on his face.

The two began to meet up at the same bar that they first spoke to each other. It was strange at first for y/n to suddenly open up to a stranger but somehow it felt right talking to Sam. The last guy he became close with was scared off by Tommy who had intarigated him all day until he was scared off, y/n was pissed at Thomas for doing that and didn’t speak to him for a week. To angry to say anything.

But lucky for him, the two of them would meet at the hidden pub that was located far from the garrison.

“You have any siblings?”

Y/n is pulled out of his thoughts by Sam. He looks up from his drink and clears his throat, shaking his head. “I’m an orphan, never knew my parents or If—I’ve ever had any.” He sighs out. He never spoke about his Past since it was too painful for him to deal with.

“What about you? Got any family.” Y/n asks the same question.

Sam hums. “An older brother named Dean and his Husband.”

Y/n chokes on his drink and coughs. “Your brother is married to a man?”

“Is that a problem?” Sam glares at him, growing protective of his own family.

“No, no, just surprised?” Y/n shrugs. “It’s just—marriage like that is illegal, unless it was done in secret then I understand. I’m not one to judge since I can relate to what they are going through.” He mumbles out the last part shyly, trying to distract himself by looking down at his drink.

Sam chuckles with a smile. “Your married?”

“No.”

“But your into men?”

Y/n shyly nods. “No one else knows but you.”

Sam awes. “I’m your first?” He grins while y/n glares at him. “Tell anyone and I’ll cut your tongue.”

“I won’t be saying anything.”

The second time they meet again it’s at Thomas stables. Y/n was feeding and groaning the horses before they were set off to the big race. When he noticed Sam he was worried that Thomas would see him but Sam was a really sneaky guy and knew how to hide well, a little too well.

“You aren’t suppose to be here.” He blurts out as he pours some food into the horses large bowl, making sure that they have the right amount of food before serving them some water as well.

“I’m only here for a while, don’t worry I won’t be seen.” Sam approaches y/n, his hands in his pockets as he watched him groom the horses. “These yours?” He questions. “No, they belong to a friend of mine. I just take care of them whenever I want too.” He responds back.

Sam sits on a chair that was leaned up against a wall as y/n brushes out the horses. He sighs softly, glancing over his shoulder to eye Sam. “You know we’ve been meeting up a lot lately and I still don’t know your full name.”

“It isn’t important.”

“But it is to me.”

He sets the brush down and turns around to look at him properly. He had one leg over the other and his arms were crossed. “Do you really want to know?” He rasies a brow, suddenly shifting in his seat to stand.

Y/n narrows his eyes while Sam approaches him. He may be taller than y/n but that didn’t frighten him, he wasn’t afraid of a little height change, he knew how to take care of hismelf and size didn’t matter.

Sam has gotten close enough as he leans down to whisper to him. “I’m a Winchester.”

The third time they meet; they are at a museum in London. Y/n had told Thomas that he had gotten a lead on Winchester and was following him to London. Of course Thomas allowed him to go but as long as he does it safetly.

The information he received about Winchester was true since he himself told him that he was going to be in London. Instead of y/n killing him the day that he told him who he was, he instead decided to take his time and think of how he was going to deal with this when the man that he’s been meeting up had snatched his little heart.

“Beautiful isn’t it?”

He was standing in front of a painting as Sam stood next to him, examining the painting as well. The two are quiet until y/n sighs deeply, “what do you want with the Shelby’s?” He cuts to the chase wanting to know why Sam was after the Shelby’s.

Campbell was after them because he wanted to show his people that he can take control of a town with his own coopers and not have to do all the dirty work but yet somehow, find a way to break them. But of course he never succeeded and now he’s dead.

Sam licks his lips, staring at the painting. “The Shelby family has been causing a ruckus since Campbell’s death. Old man didn’t see your bullet coming, am I right?” Y/n eyes widen, his head snapping to see Sams face only to notice a small grin.

“How did you—“

“Know? Y/n you leave a really bloody mess, it was easy to read all the signs there. I also questioned myself as too why you would be alive still? The Shelby’s kill people who ruin their reputation but you—“ he steps closer, he extends his hand out and grips his chin. “They let you live.” He whispers out.

Y/ns heart was beating fast as he slaps his hand away and glared. “They helped me and I helped them.”

“So they are seen as aquentinces than family?”

Sam noticed y/n open his mouth and then close it. He got him, he’s finally got him.

“Tell me.” Sam takes hold of y/n’s hand and drags him to the other side of the museum where it was much quieter and lonely. “Do the Shelby really see you as a family or is it all fun and games between you and the brothers?”

“If you think I’m fucking them, then you are wrong!” He whispers out harshly at Sam who chuckles. “Thomas is like a brother to me.”

“But does he treat you the same?”

That catches him off guard as his anger suddenly falls from his face, suddenly going soft as he looks away and thinks about the time that Thomas had taken care of him. Yes, Thomas is protective and paranoid but he did care for y/n but there were times when he felt like he was treated different than the others.

He was always causing the fights and getting into trouble. Thomas is always there to stop it from happening but he usually shows signs of worry more towards his brothers than him. He wasn’t being selfish or anything, it just didn’t feel fair to him. He’s noticed him treat other members like family but not y/n. Was he still not worthy enough to gain his trust yet?

The fourth time they meet is at the Garrison. Lucky for them the Shelby’s weren’t around to know that Winchester was in their pub or else they would’ve shot him in the spot. But they weren’t idiots either, they had to be careful. One wrong move and they could all be dead.

“You can’t be here.” Y/n whispers to Sam who was sitting next to him at the bar. “If Thomas or any of the Shelby’s find you here they’ll kill you.”

“Then I’ll just send my men after them all and have them hung for their crimes.”

Y/n glares. “Then you’ll have to hang me too for liking Campbell.”

“I’m actually grateful that you killed that bastard or I wouldn’t have met you.” Y/n blushes a little at the comment, gripping the glass cup in his hand. “Your killing me, you know that right?”

“Physically or mentally?” Sam smirks at him, leaning his elbow against the counter and with his head in his hand. Giving him a lustful look. “Does it matter?” Y/n gives him a glance and pushes his cup away from him. He was not going home drunk tonight and probably not ever if Sam was going to be watching closely now that he knows that he’s working for the Shelby’s.

“Have you thought about my offer?”

Sam has offered y/n a job to come back and work for him under one condition. That he would be allowed to arrest the Shelby’s but y/n immedialty refused.

“My answer is still no.”

He gets up to leave and bids Sam a goodnight as he exits the Garrison.

Sam wasn’t too far away as he chases after him, grabbing him by the arm and pushing into an alley where he shoved him up against the wall. Y/n reacts quickly, pulling out his blade and placing the sharp tip against Sam’s neck.

“How many times do I have to tell you Sam, my answer is no and it’ll always be no.” He whispers to him but Sam refused to let him go still. “How about another offer.”

“No more offers!” The tip of the blade digs a little further into his skin, not puncturing it just yet. This time Sam releases him. “How about this, you work with me and you decide what to do with them.” Y/n frowns but stops to think over it. Lately the Shelby’s have been going through some tough times with the Russians and he knows that Thomas is planning something big.

“Let them corrupt each other.” He blurts out, lowering down the knife in his hand. “It’s not the first time they’ve all gone against each other, believe me it’ll happen again.”

Sam raises a brow at the sudden change. “And how exaclty will they go against each other?”

“They just will, you’ll see. Before you know it they’ll be at each other’s throats and once they are against each other then you can go after them.” He doesn’t believe the words coming out of his own mouth. Was he really ready to go against them? He wasn’t really doing anything wrong but he was telling Sam that he can go after them once this is all over.

“Just...keep Ada out of it. She’s a widow and trying hard to stay out his problems.” He looks into Sam’s eyes, wanting to make sure that he keeps his promise.

“Promise me that you’ll leave her out of it and that you’ll wait until the time is right for the Shelby’s.”

Sam uses two fingers to push the blade away from his sight. “It’s a promise.”

The fifth time they meet their in bed together, with Sam above him and fucking him. Y/n wasn’t the only one with these urges, he’s always wanted Sam this way but he’s never said a word about it until Sam made the first move.

Sam was an actual gentleman and not like the others that he’s known before. Sam had taken him out for dinner and the two chatted like normal, now that they were working together their was turning back. He’s made his choice and now he has to follow it.

The spent all day together and getting to know each other. No lies this time, just the truth. He’s learned a lot about Sams family and how he was the baby of the family, his brother always protective of him and still is till this day.

Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at the fact of Sam being the baby. Sam May be the baby but that didn’t stop him from doing what he wanted, being an inspector and having control of his own police. He was smart and good at his own job but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t slip up every once an awhile. Everyone makes their own mistakes.

The room they have rented out was small but enough for the two. The walls were thin but that didn’t stop y/n from screaming out in pleasure as Sam fucked into him. He was face down on the mattress, His hands gripping the sheets as he muffled his moans into the pillow.

Sam was above him, gripping his hips as he thrusts his hips forward. His hand crawling under y/n’s neck and wrapping his fingers around it. Pulling him back he chokes out a sob, the pleasure was too much for him but he just couldn’t get enough of it.

He could hear Sam grunt against his ear as he grinds his hips against him, causing y/n to muffle his moan as he covers his mouth with his hand. “Sam—!”

Sam has reached up to pull his hand away from his mouth, whispering in his ear. “Let me hear you, let others know how good I make you feel.”

Y/n whines as the two sit up. He shifts in his position and is sitting on his lap with his back against Sam’s chest. His legs spread open as Sam enters him again and thrusts harder and deeper into him. Y/n bites his lip, leaning his head back against sams shoulder.

“Fuck, Sam—!”

Sam captures his lips into a needy kiss.

Y/n moans into the kiss, his fingers running through Sam’s long hair as he gives it a few tugs. Without warning he feels Sam releasing his load deep inside him, pulling away from the kiss he throws his head back in pleasure.

“A little wanting would’ve been nice.”

He hears Sam chuckle against his neck. “We aren’t quiet done yet.” He wraps his hand around y/n and strokes the top of his head. Y/n let’s out a shuttering moan as Sam begins to move his hand, causing the other to shake in his arms as he waits for his own release. Once he reached his climax he releases into sams hand.

Sam trials kisses around his neck. “Next time I’ll take you properly in a much better bed.” Y/n chuckles dryly. “I guess being an inspector suddenly makes you luxurious?”

“I’m only luxurious with my lovers.” Sam kisses his jawline. “Oh, then I must be lucky.” He turns around in his lap and wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him into another deep kiss as the two fall back into bed.

This was probably one of the worst and best choices that he’s ever made before.

[kelelamentia]

Rockin’ the House

Rockin’ the House

 @ozmav Because we all need an uncle Jagged Stone.

 It was another charity gala held by the Wayne Family; this one was raising funds for art programs across the world, and because it was for art there were artists of all types from all over, including the famous Rock’n’Roll artist Jagged Stone…and his guest.

 At the Gotham Congress Hall:

 The Wayne Family was scattered all over the hall, talking various people, Damian was standing with his father; talking to someone he didn’t recognize.

“Father, I’m going to retrieve some punch.”  Damian announced to Bruce, waiting for him to nod before making his way over to the punch table.

Having retrieved and finished his drink Damian looked across the hall with a frown.  He had no issue for the cause of this gala; him being an artist himself, but many of these people were just trying to get into his family’s good graces.  Damian had just finished rolling his eyes at a snobby comment he over heard when something caught his eye; someone really.

She was lovely, she wore what looked to be a V-neck sleeveless black party dress that went to her knees, low silver heels, silver bracelets and neckless.  Her blue/black hair was in a bun with a silver hair; he couldn’t tell what the hair pin was at his distance.  She also looked uncomfortable, she was looking around and swaying back and forth.

Damian decided to introduce himself; if she was a harpy he would just walk away.  As he got closer to her he saw a few more details of her outfit. The hair pin was a treble clef and the silver neckless had a range of rainbow musical notes.  There was also a slight shimmer coming off her dress as she swayed.

“Hello Miss, how are you this evening?” Damian greeted when he reached her.

She startled at his voice.

“H-Hello, I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng; I’m doing well and you?” Marinette greeted in return.

Damian was pleased to note she didn’t seem try and ‘charm him’ as soon as she saw him; and she had a cute French accent.  He reached out his hand and grabbed hers, brushing a kiss on the back of her knuckles; causing her to turn pink.

“I’m also doing well.  Might I ask are you an up and coming artist?  Or are you here with someone?” Damian asked.  As soon as he finished his question, he realized he sounded rude, but she didn’t see bothered by his bluntness and answered him.

“I’m just a guest of a guest, but I am working towards being a designer; so maybe I’ll get my own invite one day.”

Surprised is what Damian was by Marinette’s humility, most people here would be bragging about how ‘They’ll be the next greatest thing’ or ‘I came with this person, so I’m great as well’ or something similar.

“A designer?  What kind?”  Damian questioned.

“Fashion mostly, but I like designing for other things as well.”  Marinette admitted.

“Does that mean what you’re wearing now is your work Marinette?”

Marinette gave a shy nod.

“This is actually my most recent work; along with a suit I made for tonight, would you like to see my favorite part?”

“Certainly.”

At Damian’s agreement Marinette did a slow twirl, that’s when Damian got his answer about the slight shimmer from before.  As Marinette spun the light reflected off embroidery he hadn’t known was there. There was techno coloured musical notes of all sorts dancing and shining along the skirt and top.  Damian blinked, his breath taken from him.

“That is beautiful Marinette, this must have taken some time to complete.”

“A little, yeah, but it was worth it.”

“Is the suit here tonight like this?”  Damian asked.

“Yep.”  Marinette confirmed.

“You are a very hard-working individual Marinette and you design his lovely, I’m sure you’ll get your own invite one day.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, would the lovely Lady be willing to dance with me this evening?”  Damian asked, offering the palm of his hand.

“I’d love to.” Marinette said, almost placing her hand in his; she hesitated just before she did.

“Is there something wrong?” Damian worried.

“No…It’s just, I don’t know your name.”

Damian was stunned, she really didn’t know?

“I’m sorry Marinette, my name is Damian Wayne.”  Damian watched, gauging her reaction.

“It’s nice to meet you Damian!”  Marinette smile brightly, placing her hand in his.

She really didn’t know, this gave Damian a light-hearted feeling; he didn’t have to be the blood son of Bruce Wayne, he could just be Damian.

“Shall we dance Marinette?”

“Lets.”

Damian brought Marinette to the dance floor, keep her hand in his and placing the other on her waist; bringing her closer, not enough to be considered inappropriate, but just enough to be intimate.  As they began to dance Marinette faltered and stumbled, but as she got more comfortable with Damian and the movements, she became very graceful.  Damian spun and twirled her; showing off Marinette’s dress for all to see.

“How are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” Damian was confused.

“Making me dance like I’ve been doing it my entire life?” Marinette asked, “I’m a total klutz normally, this, this is new.”

“Marinette, I’m not doing anything.  This is you being relaxed and trusting me in my movements.  If you are a ‘total klutz’ normally, it is because your nervous and fear judgement.”

“Yeah…I guess I feel like that, how do you over come that Damian?” Marinette questioned.

“Simple, there is a quote I remember; ‘Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind’. There is nothing wrong with being nervous Marinette and anyone saying that there is, is trying to make you feel worse.”

“Damian…” Marinette sighed, “Thank you.”

“It is nothing but the truth,” Damian stated, “You are a beautiful talented woman, who is not afraid to work for her dreams; people will get jealous of that, but please don’t let it hinder you.”

“I’m not beautiful.” Marinette muttered.

“Yes, you are; you smile sweetly, your eyes are like the loveliest of blue belle flowers, and you made yourself a dress that is unique without being outrageous.” Damian complimented.

Marinette giggled and they continued dancing.

 With Bruce a little after Damian left:

 Bruce was making his way around the hall; talking to people along the way, when he ran into a very popular music artist in the Wayne household.

“Hello Jagged Stone, are you having fun?” Bruce asked.

“Hey Bruce, this is a cool gig; a little tame for my usual tastes, but anything that supports giving people a chance to rock out is good in my books.” Jagged enthused.

Bruce chuckled at the rack star.

“Thank you,” Bruce looked around, “Where is your partner and your second guest?”

“Penny couldn’t make; she got a bit of food poisoning you know?” Jagged informed, “And my other guest is my favorite designer; she’s really sweet, a bit shy but won’t back down from a challenge.”

“Is she one who designed your suit?” Bruce asked, “Because have to say I’m surprised you’re wearing something to mundane.”

Jagged’s suit was black dress pant, a white dress shirt, and a black suit coat with long tails, with black dress shoes.  He had silver cuff-links, a silver guitar pin on his lapel, but he had a techno colour tie that stood out.

“Mundane?  This suit ain’t mundane, it camouflaged; let me show you.”

Jagged turned on his heel, showing Bruce why the suit wasn’t mundane.  Turning around allowed the light to show the techno coloured music notes on his jacket and the staffs (The lines on a music sheet) running down each of his legs.

Bruce blinked, caught off guard by the hidden pattern.

“That is very impressive Jagged, your designer has some real talent.”

“I know, I met her when she was 14 and she keeps proving I can match the event while keeping my style.”

“She’s designed other things for you?” Bruce asked, being a designer for a rock star at 14 is nothing to sneeze at.

“She sure did, let me find her and I’ll introduce you, but fair warning she is going to quiz you on who made your suit.” Jagged chuckled, looking around, “I see her, she’s dancing with someone…Is he filtering with her?”

As Jagged started to make his way over, Bruce saw where Jagged was looking and was shocked to see his youngest son dancing with a lovely young lady; Jagged’s designer. Bruce caught up with Jagged just as he reached the pair.

“Hey Marinette, who’s your dance partner?” Jagged greeted.

 With Damian and Marinette before they were interrupted:

 Damian had never been to content, so happy, so…so…so something!  Marinette was so kind and sweet, she asked him about his suit, who designed it and was it comfortable.  She didn’t recognize his name, she didn’t ask how and why he was here, she just cared about him and who he was as a person.  Getting her number was a must.  Just as he was about to ask if he could have her number a voice cut him off.

“Hey Marinette, who’s your dance partner?”

Damian looked at the person who spoke and couldn’t believe what he saw.

It was Jagged Stone! His favorite music artist; along with his brothers, and he knew Marinette’s name?!

“Hi Jagged, this is Damian; he’s been keeping me company.” Marinette explained to the rock star.

“Hi Damian, I’m Jagged Stone and you’re dancing with my favorite designer.”

“Jagged!” Marinette scolded.

“What? It’s true isn’t it?” Jagged teased.

Damian took notice of Jagged’s suit and saw the same theme as Marinette’s.  Damian couldn’t believe it, Marinette was THE Jagged Stone’s designer, the one he liked to brag about on interviews; along with Clara Nightingale and some others.  

“Marinette there is someone I want you to meet.” Jagged gestured to Damian’s father, “Mari meet Bruce Wayne, the host of this gala.”

Marinette reached out to shake his hand.

“Hello Mr. Wayne, it’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you as well Marinette; and please call me Bruce.  I see you’ve already met my youngest; Damian”

Marinette gave a slight jerk.

“Your youngest?” Marinette asked, looking over at Damian.

Damian wanted to curse at his father for outing him like that, but he knew that his father most likely wasn’t aware that Marinette didn’t know who he was.

“I’m sorry, I’m sure he wanted to tell you himself.” Bruce tried to lessen the impact.

“Don’t be sorry, its more my fault than anything.  I’m bad with names outside the fashion and music industries.” Marinette apologized “I’m also sorry if I bothered you Damian.”

Damian would not have her thinking that her sweet company was a bother to him.

“You were never a bother Marinette; your company is lovely and you yourself are a breath of fresh air.”

Marinette blushed.

Bruce raised his eye brow and smirked.

Jagged narrowed his eyes.

Jagged wasn’t sure he wanted this kid flirting with his almost niece and tried to change topics.

“Marinette I’ve told Bruce you’ve been designing for me since you were 14, but I didn’t want to brag about you too much without you there.”

“Jagged no.”

“You see Bruce Marinette has made my favorite glass”

“Jagged please…”

“All my album covers that have won an award,”

“Stop…”

“Serval posters, the most recent one coming out soon; being super awesome,”

“I’m begging you…”

“Many of my concert outfits, this suit; she made a dress for Penny too, but she couldn’t be here.”

“Jagged…”

“And that’s not counting the stuff she’s done for other people like Clara Nightingale.”

By the end of his rant Marinette was bright red and had her face in her hands.  But while Marinette was embarrassed, Damian was in awe; she’s done so much work and didn’t brag about it once.

“Jagged why…” Marinette asked.

“Well, you don’t talk about your accomplishments Marinette; so, I’m happy to do it for you!”

“That is quite the list Marinette, you should be proud.” Bruce praised.

Bruce noticed the look of admiration on Damian’s face and thought if all goes well that he would seeing and hearing more about Marinette.

“Were you the one who designed the ‘Hard Rock’ cover?” Damian asked, “I love that cover.”

Marinette gave a shy yes.

Bruce wanted to talk to Marinette a bit.

“Marinette,” Bruce said getting her attention, “May I please get your opinion on somethings.”

“Sure Bruce, what can I help you with?

As Bruce and Marinette talked, Jagged got Damian’s attention and spoke quietly to him.

“Look kid, I can see you like Mari; and she seems to like you, so I’m going to warn you now.  Mari is like family to me, you break her heart you will regret it.  I may not be able to do anything to you from business stand point, but I can trash your rep and make it stick; got it?”  Jagged warned.

Damian nodded his head in grim understanding.

“Marinette is a wonderful girl, I’d be a fool to break heart if she gave me chance sir and I like to think myself not a fool.”

Jagged slapped Damian on the shoulder.

“Good, we understand each other then.  Now let’s get back to your Father and Mari; listening to that girl plan is a rockin’ experience.”

Damian looked at Marinette; who excitedly describing something to his father, who was looking very impressed. Tonight, was going better than he could have hoped for.

The night wore on and Damian didn’t leave Marinette’s side.  Just before she and Jagged had to leave, she gave Damian something

“Here, just in case you want to talk or anything,” Marinette was holding out a piece of paper with her phone number and email on it, “B-But it’s fine if you don’t want it!”

“NO! I mean no, I’m happy to have it Marinette; just let me give you mine as well.”  Damian scrambled to find a piece of paper and pen.  He did find some and wrote down his information and gave it to Marinette.

As Marinette stepped into the car with Jagged she waved goodbye to Damian; a shy smile and a blush on her face.  Damian waited until the car was out of sight before he let out a sigh and looked at the information Marinette gave.

“Please try and wait until tomorrow to call her Damian.”

“Father!” Damian turned in surprise at the voice, “Would not call her tonight, she will be tried when she gets back to her hotel and she needs her rest.”

“Fair, wait until after breakfast as well then.” Bruce teased. “I’m looking forward to hearing more about Marinette, please keep me updated.”

“Father!”

 End

And that was Rockin’ the House.

 Also

 Extra:

A few days later at the Wayne household:

Alfred – Master Damian, there is a package for you.

Damian – *Takes package* Thank you Alfred.

Damian opens the package to reveal the new Jagged Stone poster that hasn’t been released yet; signed and everything.

Dick - *Cereal spit take*

Jason – How the h*ll did Demon Spawn get that!?

Damian – It’s a gift from someone precious.

Tim – Precious?! You’re calling someone precious!? And who’s the second signature?

Dick, Jason and Tim - *Look closer at the poster*

Dick – Who’s Marinette?

Tim – That’s Jagged’s favorite and best designer; she rarely signs anything!  How in the world did you get that Brat!?

Bruce – *Proud dad that’s wants to embarrass his youngest* That’s because he danced all night with her at the gala; he got her number too.

Dick, Jason and Tim – WHAT?!

Damian – FATHER!

Jason – There’s no way! Prove it!

Alfred – Would pictures work Master Jason?  I have serval.

Damian – ALFRED! WHEN?

[rainbowgoddd99]

♡︎Even at any moment You are always the sh*t ♥︎

Read it over and over every minute as much as you need just keep going you can it’s okay if you think you can’t you can you can you can you CAN!!!! Take it easy one by one you definitely can. If you can’t focus on your own life then try to make another’s bright even if it’s just one word you can you can be that light until you find your own. You are strong you matter.

1. We would miss you.

2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.

3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.

4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing.

5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there.

6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.

7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.

8. You are amazing.

9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better.

10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead.

11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.

12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die.

13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.

14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me.

15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.

16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died?

17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.

18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again...

19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day

20. Listening to incredibly loud music

21. Being alive is just really good.

22. Not being alive is really bad.

23. Finding your soulmate.

24. Red pandas

25. Going to diners at three in the morning.

26. Really soft pillows.

27. Eating pizza in New York City.

28. Proving people wrong with your success.

29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life.

30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can.

31. Being able to help other people.

32. Bonfires.

33. Sitting on rooftops.

34. Seeing every single country in the world.

35. Going on roadtrips.

36. You might win the lottery someday.

37. Listening to music on a record player.

38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.

39. Taking really cool pictures.

40. Literally meeting thousands of new people.

41. Hearing crazy stories.

42. Telling crazy stories.

43. Eating ice cream on a hot day.

44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know.

45. Travelling to another planet someday.

46. Having an underwater house.

47. Randomly running into your hero on the street.

48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel.

49. Trampolines.

50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again.

51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke,

52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.

53. People do care.

54. Treehouses

55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse

55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees

56. I don’t even know you and I love you.

57. I don’t even know you and I care about you.

58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!

59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.

60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS!

61. Starbucks.

62. Hugs.

63. Stargazing.

64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.

65. You’ve changed somebody’s life.

66. Now you could change the world.

67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you.

68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.

69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life.

70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.

71. Making snow angels.

72. Making snowmen.

73. Snowball fights.

74. Life is what you make of it.

75. Everybody has a talent.

76. Laughing until you cry.

77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.

78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.

79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down .

80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.

81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero.

82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.

83. One day your smile will be real.

84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day.

85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.

86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends.

87. Eating crazy food.

88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one.

89. Sleeping in all day.

90. Creating something you’re proud of.

91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit.

92. Being able to meet your Internet friends.

93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate.

94. The new season of Sherlock.

95. Cuddling under the stars.

96. Being stupid in public because you just can.

97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile?

98. Being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years.

99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.

100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen at any moment, make the most out of your life, life seems so long but short, enjoy it, do whatever you want, break a bunch of laws, travel the world, change your style, help others, do things that make you happy. Who gives. FUCK what people say or judge you about just bark at them. Have a good mindset and you’ll be ok. I love you <333333

You got this yeah that seems shallow to say but hell YOU GOT THIS you do look at you I mean you’re amazing it’s okay to not feel it from time to time but you’re important yes the hell you are fuck those voices you are important you are you matter you mean something on this world you exist the world know it you have helped so many so let them help you back now yes pain hurtsss so much it really hurts and it feels like it’s never ending it makes you not have a thing to look forward to but you know what it’s not forever it’s not I know that’s not the best to hear when you are in such pain but you can do this you can do it even if you can’t see light pretend there is one if you can’t then just laugh an laugh an laugh because one day that laugh will be real and you’ll look back an just amazing wonder just how you did it and that’s because you’re strong you are also remember these thing you are valid you are you matter and you are godam awesome you learn with everything it makes you stronger it molds you so when you find your destiny you’ll be really it just sucks with uncertainty there’s so many versions of you and each is amazing each can do this each an every one you will definitely see light again it’s coming just taking time on your path because it’s so amazed by the greatness it’s seeing and soon you’ll see just want it did you got a life you really do you got one dangg you do! It’s amazing it really is it can be tiring definitely it wears you down just know you won’t be tired forever

You will look up one day and breath and that air will be so clear

You will see just what life really is and that’s

Wonderful

Full of different experience

There’s pain

There’s regret

But there’s discovering new things

Obsessing over dumb things

Life is not horrible it’s not amazing either at then end of the day life is life it’s random an definitely unexplainable but it’s for you an only you emotions will get to you but some things need you to some things you’re there destiny and you yourself have a great destiny you got this I mean it I know you do now cry scream get mad regret do it all!!!!!!!! But know you really do got this you are strong and you YOU CAN LIVEEEE!!!!!!

Not today not tomorrow either not ever okay

You got this you have so many rolls left

You can smile

Fuck it lol if any one ever is over it just say fuck it

I made this for people that in every bodies eyes is amazing and make them feel better and people suffering with mental issues I made this for people who don’t go out enough that they are losing vitamins in there body and are causing physical damage to there body because you can’t get up in time to do normal things like pee I want you to know I know it’s not a joke I know it hurts and I know half of you suffer alone or try to do masking techniques you have been taught. Others are out there and sure there are some that try to understand and relate and that’s very nice that they try but I get that in them doing that it makes you feel more and more bad they mean no harm tho remember that they aren’t you so they have no clue what they do. There is some there just like you it’s true. You just have to find them.

It's your life fuck anyone who tries to have a say in it you all are your own main mother freaking character you all are.

[dailyfantastic]

IT’S ONLY FOREVER: THE ETERNALS RECAP PART 1

ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE: THE ETERNALS ISSUE 1

Jack Kirby is the king of comics for many reasons, like his peerless art, boundless creativity, and frightening productivity. Also probably his amazing narration skills. Check out Mister Miracle to see what I really mean. But you can also check out The Eternals, which opens with the most powerful question of all:

“IS MAN ALONE IN THE UNIVERSE?”

If you’re a thoughtful Marvel comics reader, though, you might recognize a flaw in this question. The year was 1976, and it had been 14 years since Jack Kirby conclusively answered that question in Fantastic 4 Volume 1 Issue 2, “The Skrulls From Outer Space.” Mankind is not alone in the Marvel Universe, because there are Skrulls and Galactus and Impy the Impossible Man. Likewise, Jack Kirby had also already told us mankind is not alone on the Earth, because he has written comics featuring Atlanteans (like Attuma) and mutants (like Unus the Untouchable) and Inhumans (like Aireo).

So what’s the deal? Well....

Literally in this first line, I realized something no one has ever said about the Eternals before: this book is not supposed to take place in the Marvel Universe.

Mankind is not alone in the universe, but the Eternals are alone in their own Universe.

This thought is something we’ll be tracking throughout our read-through. I’ll tell you now, there’s more evidence coming soon, notably that Not A Single Other Marvel Character Even Cameos In This Book.

Depicted: The kind of thing the Fantastic 4 usually would handle

Look, it makes sense. Kirby did not like having his characters messed with. We know he resented the way his ideas got treated once he was gone, and we know he desperately wanted to make his Own Thing. That was the point of New Gods, right? Kirby wanted to carve out his own part of the DC Multiverse; he wanted to tell one complete story that no one else could meddle in. And he tried, but then they did.

So it obviously makes sense that Kirby would want to just have his own little sandbox to get cosmic in, without needing Reed Richards to explain why the Celestials can’t just be threatened with the Ultimate Nullifier this time.

But it explains, already, one narration box in, why this comic feels like such a weird fit in the Marvel Universe. It isn’t about Skrulls or Kree or Kronans. You’ll see that it doesn’t really mesh with Marvel’s everyman themes. This is something new.

This is...well, it’s...something.

There’s probably more worldbuilding in this issue than in any other single issue of any comic, but the plot that happens is basically just a lot of people going to South America. Which is fine, I guess. We’ll talk about the plot later, but let’s take this time to establish some of the primary lore elements we’ve learned so far.

Eons ago, unknowable space gods called the Celestials came to Earth. They saw apes, and like any unreasonably powerful godlike beings, they decided to evolve them into three forms. 

Depicted: Some Deviant art

Humans are pretty run-of-the-mill. The Jolteons of the crew, if you will. You know them: they love to cause problems on purpose and on accident. The second bunch are the Deviants.  They aren’t artists who love Sonic the Hedgehog, but horrific monstrosities who love doing evil. Flareon, of course. And lastly, the Vaporeons: the Eternals. The Space Gods’ greatest triumph. We learn in this issue that the Eternals are beautiful, cannot die, can hover, shoot lasers out of their eyes, and probably do whatever. Then the Celestials left, only to return semi-regularly to check in on their cool evolutions. Throughout history, Eternals and Deviants have appeared in human legends as gods, heroes, monsters, and demons. And now, in 1976, we are finally becoming aware of this fact as the Celestials return to cast their final judgment on all three species.

They’re doing this in some incredibly-cool-looking Kirby space ruins, located in an Inca temple. Cultural appropriation is obviously a big problem in all Ancient Alien comics, but I can’t deny that the visuals are the best part of the Eternals.

Depicted: South America is basically space

We meet a few characters as well, who are going to show up a few times. The Professor and his daughter Margo are our two main humans. He’s studying ancient history, and has agreed to let a mysterious man named Ike Harris show him these ancient ruins.

Who is Ike Harris? Well, if you say that name really quickly, and pronounce the “I” incorrectly, you’ll realize he’s Ikaris the Eternal, in disguise to try to get to the Andes to send a beacon to guide the space gods back to Earth. We don’t know much about Ikaris yet, aside from that he’s a handsome blond man who can shoot lasers out of his eyes and rearrange the atoms in the air to turn it into a solid wall.

Also joining the fray in this issue are Kro and Tode of the Deviants. Kro looks like how the devil looks when he shows up in certain Twilight Zone episodes, except he has the sunglasses that the Koopa Troopas wear in the early Paper Mario games, and Tode looks like Jabba the Hutt with arms and legs. The Deviants have a couple of key problems. One is that they can’t produce consistently-viable offspring and are instead breeding Deviants who are basically just Humans. The other is that they don’t want the Celestials to return to Earth, presumably because they’ve been naughty and they’ll get in big trouble.

Depicted: Kro’s parents

Also they live at the bottom of the ocean and shoot down airplanes for no real reason.

So the last thing you need to know is that Kro and his henchmen ride a submarine through a stone dragon’s mouth to reach these Inca ruins from underwater, which is a little weird when you remember that most Incan structures are several hundred miles above seawater.

And then, here we are: Humans! Deviants! And Eternals! Together in an Incan ruin, with the Celestials on their way.

It’s a dense issue. We literally learn all of these facts here, and still have time for Kro to try shooting Ikaris with a laser gun. I have no idea how quickly they’re gonna attempt to explain all of this in a major motion picture, but we’ll worry about that later on I guess. For now, we’re left off an exciting cliffhanger: the Celestials are on their way back to Earth, and no one knows if that’s good or bad!!

We aren’t alone in the Universe, but I’m kinda thinking things were an awful lot simpler when we were.

And coming next issue...Does Jack Kirby know any Inca mythology anyway?

[miqo-tales]

5.3some: part 1

Was it worth it? Lets see.

Spoilers lay beneath, of course.

MSQ

SQEX not wasting any time bombarding you with cute with Riqi-Tio, huh?

Apothecary lady certainly has the right idea, giving an aspiring Warrior of Light a fetch quest.

Also, here start the chemist job theories.

OK, 1) why do the Scions need to give a fancy name to every room in their HQ? 2) WHY IS THIS PLACE SO DARK?

I’m glad somebody remembered Y’shtola.

Eldibus presents: Final Fantasy 14 Abridged

“Last time we fought I was the victor.” Oh not you too. I kicked your ass, man. You just happen to be fucking immortal and I got a raging headache due to everyone’s pet catboy.

This bit with the constellation stones is a bit weird. I have to assume Hythlodaeus was leaving them for us?

Nice, the falling stars are still around if you port to other zones. Seems the ominous music only plays in Eulmore and Crystarium though.

Doing the Dwarf crafting quests while the sky is falling is hilarious.

I... assume we’re not actually killing these summoned people. Based on what Elidibus says, I suppose they’re sort of shades of those heroes.

I love how even the in-game characters aren’t buying the writer’s desperate attempts to say “no, no, no, oh no, the Exarch isn’t going to die!” 

People keep saying there’s no time and then spend time prattling on.

I feel a bit slighted that this battle with Elidibus is doing the same “cool summoning sequence of 7 other people” that they did at the end of 5.0.

Alrighty, and he’s dead.

OK, show of hands, how many people ever noticed a graveyard next to the Journey's Head Inn?

Wow, Runar, you poor bastard. (Also, hats off to the artist that drew fan art of this exact scene like a fucking year ago? What a prophet.)

GET A ROOM.

Maybe we should have color coded these soul crystals so I knew who's who.

Alrighty, and he’s back.

Wow, guy hanging out with Zenos turned out to not even remotely be who I thought they might. Also he’s... suddenly a completely different personality? Well, whatever.

The Heroes' Gauntlet

Not much to it, honestly. Nice music, feels like the mobs hit rather hard though.

Also I had a hell of a time getting initial aggro on them. I dunno if my timing was off or what.

I wonder if we’ll get any backstory to second boss. I mean, people will obsess about her regardless, but there seems to be something to her.

Final boss has some neat mechanics.

The Seat of Sacrifice

Geez, that action event is harsh. I started taking a sip of my drink when it came up cause I was expecting the usual lazy button tapping, then I’m slamming it down cause suddenly I’m at 25% left on the bar.

Actually needing to use tank LB3 in a battle? There’s a rarity. I was waiting for the usual thing you beat up to stop the big attack. Wasn’t even remotely expecting to need LB3.

I was really expecting more from the ice and fire mechanics. I hope the EX is a bit more interesting.

...

Honestly this patch doesn’t really hit too many high notes with me in regards to the MSQ. It’s partially cause, honestly, I don’t care that much about the Exarch / G’raha. I vaguely recall finding him annoying back in 2.x, so him coming back was mostly just “oh hey neat callback”. Additionally, in my version of this story, S’era is not this familiar with G’raha. She wasn’t the Warrior of Light, so she never went to the Crystal Tower and never met him. So most of the interaction your character has with the Exarch is quite different for S’era in my head.

It’s also sort of an odd thing to me that the Exarch kind of... forces himself onto himself? Like, that’s not really G’raha Tia anymore, right? It’s the Exarch. No amount of adorable hand-wringing and ear moving changes that it’s a 100+ year old man with a shit ton of baggage in his younger body. Feel free to find that cute if you want, I think of it as pretty weird.

The other reason this doesn’t land too well is because of Elidibus, the flat stale bread villain of FFXIV. Could he have been interesting? Sure. Is he? In the last hour of the content he’s part of, sure. The rest? Bland, boring, unimportant. Elidibus spends most of 2.x just being a bad guy that dresses differently than the others and who is slightly more polite. Then in 3.x he’s just sorta there at times in the background. In 4.x he’s just Zenos. And in 5.x he shows up at the last minute and asks for his close up. He’s the mover and shaker in the background of so many plots, but he’s only still in the background. Where was all this emotion that he’s now showing in 5.3? He wasn’t even like this in 5.2!

I like FFXIV’s story, don’t get me wrong. 5.0 was really, really good. But 5.1 - 5.3 has sorta struggled to move me because it’s been too busy teasing the Exarch’s death and dancing around every single sub-plot concerning the Ascians, the Ancients, the Fourteenth, and your character. Not to mention Zenos and how he’s somehow connected as well. And I’m just worried that a lot of that will never really be explored now. All the Ascians that it concerned are dead, and the new one clearly doesn’t care about any of it.

All of that said, I’d also like to say this. It is.. astonishing how good the dev team has gotten at character animations at this point. The scene back in Revenant’s Toll with the dev team joking about Alisaie not getting a new look was amazing in terms of how the characters moved and their expressions. I really look forward to more of that.

[angeloffyre]

20 facts. Tagged by @assassiyun Thank you!! I was bored and this helped.

1. Do you make your bed? I do not. I have my blankets and pillows piled exactly how I want them.

2. What's your favorite number? 7 for some reason. Kind of tied it in with the theme of Project Wildfyre. Seven separate continents, the Seven Sorrows, even the system has seven planets.

3. What’s your job? Currently I work in a plastics factory. (I miss my furniture factory job though. Actually making things that didn't look the same as everything else.) Right now I oversee a group of operators and basically act as a babysitter for a bunch of adults who are older than me and like creating problems. But at least I can drive a Hilo I guess?

4. If you could. would you go back to school? I would. I would love to study astrophysics.

5. Can you parallel park? I can, but honestly, who actually chooses to parallel park? I think that's the real question here

6. A job you had which would surprise people? I worked for Meijer (retail/grocery store in Michigan). I was a night stocker which is not as cool as a night stalker but we can't all be mutated animals in New Vegas. I already hated people and this job just made it worse. Also non-stop music, bright ass lights, and loud floor buffers and cleaners all night, every night, is not an ideal environment for someone with sensory issues/Asperger's.

7. Do you think aliens are real? How could they not be? The universe is so large I feel it would be arrogant to assume we are the only ones.

8. Can you drive a manual car? I can. Started on an automatic. Had to drive a stick when my car had problems. And I didn't even stall out on my first try. If I could, I would get a manual for my next vehicle.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? Where's that post that says all pleasures are guilty pleasures if you have enough anxiety? I think my guilty pleasure is not being awake.

10. Tattoos? Yes. I have the words "Life before Death" on my left arm. (Meant it to be a reminder, but lately it is not working.) I have a few more I want to get still. But I have to find an artist first since my old one has dropped off the map.

11. Favorite color? Black and gold together. But it has to be the right shade of gold.

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? Exist. In seriousness though. People that whistle and snap their stupid gum all freaking night long. (Co-worker of mine does this) Also people that stand around in groups and just talk while you're trying to do something and they stand there watching you trying to do stuff and don't bother to check if they're in the way or MAYBE THEY COULD JUST HELP INSTEAD OF STANDING THERE LIKE A BUNCH OF IDIOTS. (ALSO COWORKERS) People that joke about how quick I am with my temper without trying to figure out that maybe they're doing something to cause it??? People looking at me. THE PEOPLE THAT TELL YOU TO SMILE ALL THE TIME! I could list a lot more, but honestly so many things drive me crazy.

13. Any Phobias? Apeirophobia. (Fear of living forever) I know it's unlikely, but what if it happens???

14. Favorite childhood sport? Lacrosse.

15. Do you talk to yourself? Out loud, only to call myself an idiot. There's always some internal dialogue going though.

16. What movie do you adore? The Way of Kings not technically a movie. Yet... But I can't think of a single movie title right now. But if it set in space or some fantasy land then I'll probably like it.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? I used to love puzzles when I was a kid. And now I have cats so I can't do them without pieces going missing.

18. Favorite kind of music? Anything instrumental. Particularly with violins or cellos. Like the wonder woman theme hnnnngn just really amazing I prefer music without words so I can write. And if there are words my brain will latch onto those instead of focusing on writing.

19. Tea or coffee? Tea. I really, really like Earl Grey. But there's another one called Samurai Chai and it is divine.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a pilot more than anything. And I still do. And someday I will fly a damn plane damnit.

I won't be tagging anyone but if you do this, tag me because I'd like to see your answers. Also I'm bored and I want to learn about my mutuals.

[doomedandstoned]

AS I DIE AT MY DESK

Interview by Shawn Gibson

Can you tell me the meaning of the band name As I Die At My Desk? I imagine dying in a cubicle in corporate hell!

The honest answer to this is that it was a joke. I overheard a co worker say it at work and I thought it would be a hilarious band name. It is also a bit ironic as I always told myself that I would do work I truly love and follow my passions as they tell you that stuff in high school and college and it hasn't worked out that way for me yet! I am not deterred. I do get to make music in my spare time. Music gets to be my fun escape. It gets to be my artistic outlet that I don't have to share if I don't want to. All that aside I am a man who loves to laugh and loves to joke. Despite the themes and sounds of the music which are very real and emotionally heavy for me, the band name was a way to take the piss out of the situation. I can laugh at myself for being a weirdo who likes heavy music, where people scream and howl like demons and laugh even harder at how ridiculous I must look doing that in the bedroom for my music. I am pretty serious about most things, but I have to remember to have fun. That is what I think is important. I'm sorry it's not a very metal answer!

Suicide as Cleansing by As I Die at My Desk

You do everything in As I Die At My Desk, all instruments right?

Yes, I do all instruments and my main goal is to try to not suck. I actually record through a pre amp and I use different virtual amp sims like Amplitube for my tones. I used my Sterling by Music Man John Petrucci 7 string guitar, Ibanez BTB7 7 string bass, and an Alesis brand electric drum set for this record. It's a pretty basic setup, but given the size of my recording space, it's the best I can do. I have been writing for the past eight years or so. This is my first attempt at a metal release despite the fact I am a huge metal head! I was pretty happy with what I was able to do by myself.

What are your influences musically?

My influences range from classical music to jazz to anything under the rock umbrella. I am particularly interested in Soviet era composers. Dmitri Shostakovich, Sergei Prokofiev, and Igor Stravinsky. The first instrument I started playing was a cello at age 10. I graduated college in 2016 and gave a recital featuring Shostakovich and Prokofiev. The desperation and darkness they were able to convey so beautifully have influenced me greatly. I don't have a lot of experience with jazz, but the works of Coltrane, Thelonios Monk and especially Miles Davis have influenced me, as well. I just love especially experimental music and anything that ties to reshape and reform the genres wherein they find themselves pigeonholed. My music doesn't really sound like it to me, but Dream Theater and Iron Maiden are two of my favorites. I didn't actually start to get into doom or sludge until college. Now I love that stuff! Eyehategod is one of my newer favorite bands, as well as Sumac and YOB.

What are some of your favorite books and movies?

I tend to read non-fiction. I am a big history nerd. However I have spent a lot of time in the fiction world, as well. Some of my favorites are Catch 22 by Joseph Heller, Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Twelve Chairs by Ilf and Petrov. I am a big Lynch and Tarantino fan! Blue Velvet and Eraserhead are two of my favorite films. Reservoir Dogs had a really big impact on me, as well. I first saw it when I was 14. It was so gritty and real to me then. That was a very realistic show of violence.

Are you a fan of horror books or movies?

I was a bigger fan of horror when I was in high school. I must have read every Stephen King a dozen times. I don't tend to like a lot of horror books or movies. There are some exceptions, I love monster movies. Give me Jaws or Godzilla any day! I tend to like movies that are creepy or unsettling, but I don't get into paranormal stuff. There are plenty of flesh and blood horrors in our world that are much more terrifying than ghosts.

You have some very heavy music with some very dark themes. What inspired 'Suicide As Cleansing' as your album title?

I am depressed and have anxiety. What more is there to say? To answer your question, though, the title popped into my head one day. I remember I was reading something on social media about mental health and the act of suicide. Someone described suicide as an act of cleansing. That idea stuck with me and I thought about it for quite some time. I decided to use that in an overall positive way. I thought that since I was channeling my negative and destructive feeling into my music, I was attempting to kill myself. Attempting to kill a bad part of myself that I don't want to have to deal with all the time and thus conducting a cleansing of sorts. I wanted that to be the album title because it reflected the whole reason I was making the record. It doesn't help to keep those feelings bottled up cause they fester. I urge anyone who has suicidal or self harming thoughts to seek help. Talk to people; they will listen. You may feel like it doesn't help, but it does. I struggle, but I feel better when I know I'm safe to talk about it. Here's why I give my wife a huge shout-out for being so supportive and understanding!

What was the inspiration for your songs on 'Suicide As Cleansing'?

The inspiration for this whole record was feeling trapped and depressed. Modern day life appears to be doing that for younger generations these days. Waking up one day and realizing careers that you were dead set on are no longer sustainable. Seeing all of the political strife becoming more prominent and ruining friendly and familial relationships. We live in a very depressing world. I don't need to get into all the issues facing us but there are many and enough that are potentially world ending are enough, to make anyone uneasy. In that way I feel that genuine themes of feeling trapped, powerless, isolated and really angry are appropriate.

I would say "No Pride" is one of my favorites. The gallop of the drums, the riff! I feel myself rocking and swaying. Definitely banging my head!

Thanks! It might be my favorite song on the album. It was actually fun to record that one and I did it in far fewer takes than the other ones.

"Trapped In The Bass-Ment" is hypnotizing! It's almost a chance to catch your breath from the other six songs that precede it!

I appreciate the comments! The whole track was written and recorded in one sitting. I am a big fan of drone and ambient music so it seemed fitting. I felt that even I needed a break after "No Pride." It just hit me really hard in conjunction with all the earlier tracks. I worried it might be boring for people, but I silenced that voice. I try to make music for myself, but I really appreciate it when people like my work!

"Annihilate Me" is the equivalent of the musical Dim Mak! Nine-minutes-and-fifty-eight seconds of destruction! Tell me about this song.

"Annihilate Me" was written over a span of about three days. I was in the middle of a very depressive episode and I remember sitting down with my guitar and playing the heaviest, angriest, gnarliest stuff I could get out of it. There was no preconceived plan as to lyrics or vocals. After I recorded the guitars and drums, I screamed anything that came to mind. It was a very cathartic episode and I view it as the perfect ending to an unpleasant journey.

Where did the artwork for 'Suicide As Cleansing' come from? What does it mean to you?

The cover art is a photograph taken from my lovely wife, who gets another shout-out. We were hiking at the Englewood Metropark and we noticed the tree almost all by itself. She took a bunch of photos of it because it was cool and interesting, also creepy. One thing I remember clearly, was the tree's base was covered with these beautiful yellow flowers. In a way I felt it represented the album. The tree itself was dead and bare. It was a little unsettling especially in the photos my wife took. The fact that life had sprung from this dead tree seemed to fit this theme of killing a part of yourself or perhaps a rebirth.

Calculating the Cost of Existence by As I Die at My Desk

Your second album 'Calculating The Cost of Existence' (2019) came out in December. What can you tell us about the new project?

I will say in terms of sound, the new record came out with a different sound. It's a doomy, sludgey mess for sure. There are more introspective parts included. The music is expressing a greater array of feelings than the first.

Another one-man effort?

Yes, I did all the instruments again. As long as I possess the tools to do it, it certainly makes it easier in the creative process not having to deal with other personalities or egos on something so deeply personal to me. Now with that said, I don't mind collaborating or anything in the future.

Is that strenuous at times doing everything in the band?

The worst part about recording is I am not the best musician. It is strenuous when I have to perform everything and I am not that great. (laughs) My skills on guitar and drums are intermediate at best. I have played bass longer so I am a much more confident bass player than I am anything else but that's not saying a lot. It also doesn't help that I don't like the sound of my voice. I fancy myself as a composer, not a performer.

As I Die At My Desk is from Dayton Ohio right?

Yes, the band is based out of Dayton, where I have lived for most of my life so far.

What are some bands from Ohio you love?

To be honest, I don't know a ton of bands from Ohio. I will say I am a fan of Mouth of the Architect and Others by No One out of Dayton, Cloudkicker out of Columbus. Oh I can't forget Skeletonwitch!

Have you been to Ohio Doomed and Stoned Fest?

This might be shocking but I have never heard of Ohio Doomed and Stoned Fest. So no I haven't been but I am certainly interested now!

Will As I Die At My Desk play live or tour down the road?

Well, As I Die At My Desk will probably remain a studio entity. As I said I wouldn't be opposed to any kind of collaboration or possible touring but I don't have any plans for that at the moment. Now for my pretentious answer. As an artist I do not want to feel confined to any one medium as it exists. As I Die At My Desk was born out of specific life circumstances. As long as these circumstances provide emotional weight and depth for me, this project will continue. Once that source dries up(if it ever really does) then I will move on to a new project. As it stands I have a few other projects that I am working on that I can't discuss much yet. Stay tuned!

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[douchebagbrainwaves]

YOU GUYS I JUST THOUGHT OF THIS

I guarantee you'll be surprised by the consequences of the licensing deal for DOS, just as it's easier to get people to remember just one quote about programming, it would be more interested in an essay about why something isn't the problem, even though you know that free with just two exclamation points has a probability of. Then when you reach for the sledgehammer; if their kids won't listen to them, because you can, to a limited extent, simulate a closure a function that takes a number n, and returns a function that refers to variables defined in enclosing scopes by defining a class with one method and a field to replace each variable from an enclosing scope.1 The US Is Not Yet a Police State. Better Judgement Needed If the number of users and the problem is usually artificial and predetermined. There are two main kinds of error that get in the way you'd expect any subculture to be, in certain specific moments like your family, this month a fixed amount you need to simplify and clarify, and the threat to potential investors and they hope this will make it big is not simply to give them at least 20 years, and then at each point the way such a project would play out? You could do it than literally making a mark on the world.2 I'll come running.3 They make such great CEOs. First of all, for the most part they punt. For all its power, Silicon Valley is that you get discouraged when no one else at the time.

But there is also huge source of implicit tags that they ignore: the text within web links.4 It was more prestigious to be one of those things until you strike something. Both self-control and experience have this effect: to eliminate the random biases that come from your own circumstances, and tricks played by the artist.5 It's very common for startups to exist.6 But even in the mating dance, patents are part of the mob, stand as far away from it myself; I see it there on the page and quickly move on to the next step, whatever that is. Meanwhile the iPhone is selling better than ever. 4 million is starting to appear in the mainstream media came from. People's best friends are likely to be careful here to distinguish between them. If you have multiple founders, esprit de corps binds them together in one place for a certain percentage of your startup. There is more to be actively curious. Most CEOs delegate taste to a subordinate.7 The closest thing seemed to be synonymous with quiet, so I won't repeat it all here.

The nature of the application domain.8 Mean People Fail November 2014 It struck me recently how few of the startups we fund. Angels don't like publicity.9 That can be useful when it's a crappy version one made by a company called Y Combinator that said Y Combinator does seed funding for startups is way less than the measurement error. But there is no argument about that—at least in computational bottlenecks. And in the film industry, though producers may second-guess directors, the director controls most of what is now called VoIP, and it will take off. Instead of bubbling up from the bottom, by overpaying unions, the traditional news media, and the techniques I used may be applicable to ideas in general.10 If someone proves a new theorem, it takes some work by the reader to decide whether or not to upvote it. But because patent trolls don't make anything physical.11

They work well enough in everyday life.12 This site isn't lame. It's all evasion.13 A comparatively safe and prosperous career with some automatic baseline prestige is dangerously tempting to someone young, who hasn't thought much about it, and the path to intelligence through carefully selected self-indulgence by mimicking more virtuous types. Spend little. Someone like Bill Gates? In the last 20 years, grown into a monstrosity. I'm not writing here about Java which I have never seen any of ITA's code, but according to one of the causes of the increase in disagreement, there's a good chance the person at the next table could help you at all. Also, startups are an all-star team. I can solve that problem by stopping entirely. Wouldn't it start to seem lame?

It would be a good idea.14 I read most things I write out loud at least once a week, cooked for the first couple generations.15 I'm not saying it's correct, incidentally, but it happens surprisingly rarely. I've learned about VC while working on it for a couple years for another company for two years. The word boss is derived from a talk at Oscon 2004.16 I assumed I'd learn what in college.17 But also it will tell you to spend too much. The problem is not the one that is. Inexperienced angels often get cold feet.18

Even more important than others? File://localhost/home/patrick/Documents/programming/python projects/UlyssesRedux/corpora/unsorted/schlep. But after a while I learned the trick of speaking fast.19 Why wouldn't young professionals make lots of new things I want to reach users, you need colleagues to brainstorm with, to talk you out of stupid decisions, and to analyze based on what a few people think in our insular little Web 2.20 Fortunately if this does happen it will take a big bite out of your round. What difference did it make if other manufacturers could offer DOS too? One of the things I had to condense the power of compound growth. Then they're mystified to find that there are degrees of coolness. It requires the kind of intensity and dedication from programmers that they will always be made to develop new technologies at a slower rate than the rest, and the second is whatever specific lies Xes differentiate themselves by believing. This bites you twice: they get less done, but they need more help because life is so precarious for them. Unless they've tried not taking board seats and found their returns are lower, they're not drifting.

Programmers don't use launch-fast-and-so is an animal.21 But it is very hard for someone who publishes online.22 Not because starting one's own company seemed too ambitious, but because it didn't look like a car spinning its wheels. It's hard for them to change. Experts have given Wikipedia middling reviews, but they weren't going to wait. Wufoo seem to have any teeth, and the useful half is the payload. This is arguably a permissible tactic.

Most books on startups also seem to be joined together, but really the thesis is an optimistic one—that everyone should go and start a startup during college, but it was simpler than they thought. I do in proper essays. Because they personally liked it. Game We saw this happen so often that we made up a name for what I learned from this experiment is that if VCs are only doing it in the plainest words and you'll be free again.23 That's the worst thing about our software. Now the results seem inspired by the Scientologist principle that what's true is what's true for you. Also, the money might come in several tranches, the later ones subject to various conditions—though this is apparently more common in deals with lower-tier investors sometimes give offers with very short fuses, because they get their ideas? If you do that you raise too many expectations. There's no reason to believe there is any field in which the most efficient solutions win, rather than working on the company to become valuable, and you don't have significant success to cheer you up when things go wrong.24

Notes

That's a good nerd, just that if the statistics they use; if anything they could to help you even be tempted to do is adjust the weights till the 1920s to financing growth with the other hand, launching something small and traditional proprietors on the admissions committee knows the professors who wrote the recommendations. If you're doing. There were a property of the world will sooner or later.

And yet I think it's publication that makes curators and dealers use neutral-sounding language. Google and Facebook are driven by money, then you're being gratuitously troublesome. We walked with him for the next round.

People were more dependent on banks for capital for expansion.

That's not a remark about the idea upon have different time quanta. Since the remaining power of Democractic party machines, but since it was 10. The chief lit a cigarette.

Without the prospect of publication, the average Edwardian might well guess wrong.

In fact, for example I've deliberately avoided saying whether the 25 people have responded to this talk, so that you can't help associating it with the founders' salaries to the prevalence of systems of seniority. Moving large amounts of new stock. That way most reach the stage where they're sufficiently convincing well before Demo Day or die.

This form of religious wars or undergraduate textbooks so determinedly neutral that they're really saying is they want to learn.

This is an interesting sort of dress rehearsal for the first 40 employees, with the issues they have that glazed over look.

According to Sports Illustrated, the first duty of the anti-dilution protections.

Currently we do at least seem to understand technology because they could not process it.

Doing a rolling close usually prevents this. The liking you have to replace you. Convertible debt is usually slow growth or excessive spending rather than given by other people.

Investors are fine with funding nerds. Cascading menus would also be argued that we wouldn't have the concept of the war, federal tax receipts have stayed close to the inane questions of the Fabian Society, it often means the startup will be, unchanging, but Joshua Schachter tells me it was wiser for them by the National Center for Education Statistics, the activation energy to start with consumer electronics and to run an online service. Seeming like they worked together mostly at night.

Instead of making n constant, it is. I started using it out of their due diligence tends to happen fast, like good scientists, motivated less by financial rewards than by you based on respect for their judgement. If you're sufficiently good bet, why not turn your company into one? Which explains the astonished stories one always hears about VC while working on such an interview.

Com/spam. So if you're a YC startup you can do it to colleagues. Doh.

That's the difference between good and bad measurers. I get the money, then their incentives aren't aligned with some question-begging answer like it's inappropriate, while she likes getting attention in the nature of server-based applications, and how unbelievably annoying it is. That's probably too much to hope for, but they can't teach students how to deal with the other direction Y Combinator.

The downside is that there's more of the expert they send to look you over.

If he's bad at it he'll work very hard to pick a date, because the median case.

They're motivated by examples of how hard they work. They're so selective that they won't be able to hire a lot of people like them—people who have money to spend a lot of classic abstract expressionism is doodling of this type: lies told by older siblings. But no planes crash if your goal is to make money from the Ordinatio of Duns Scotus: Philosophical Writings, Nelson, 1963, p. Structurally the idea that they probably wouldn't be irrational.

They thought most programming would be to say for sure whether, e. Travel has the same investor to do it to them, but investors can get done before that. To get all that matters, just as he or she would be on demand, because universities are where a lot of startups will generally raise large amounts of our own, like a wave. So as a naturalist.

It's interesting to consider behaving the opposite. Which in turn forces Digg to respond with extreme countermeasures.

Maybe that isn't really working bad unit economics, typically and then being unable to raise money, you can base brand on anything with a slight disadvantage, but historical abuses are easier for us, they are bleeding cash really fast. Though in fact it may be underestimating VCs. 25. And I've never heard of many startups from Philadelphia.

For example, understanding French will help dispel the cloud of semi-sacred mystery that surrounds a hot startup. Those investors probably thought they'd been pretty clever by getting such a dangerous mistake to believe that successful founders still get rich will use this technique, you'll be well on your product, just harder.

Common Lisp for, but those are probably not do this right you'd have reached after lots of back and forth. This is isomorphic to the company's PR people worked hard to get a real partner. In fact since 2 1.

I'm not saying that's all prep schools is to give them sufficient activation energy for enterprise software.

[she-is-tim]

Neighbours AU Part 5  First Date

Lucas is a young, exhausted musician who just tries to relax, while Eliott is the overexcited, dubstep loving artist who lives next door.

Aka Lucas confronts his annoying neighbour who turns out to be gorgeous

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

Thursday 16:21

Lucas was at Yann’s place with the boys, drinking mostly water and eating pizza. They were obviously very curious about what happened last night, so Lucas tried his best to remember that messy chaos. He told them about getting basically shitfaced, which they already suspected, then about the guy he started making out with, and of course it was Yann giving him the disapproving father look for doing something so reckless. Then he finished his speech with Eliott heroic arrival.

“After that I really don’t remember anything. I don’t know if I threw up on him or in my apartment at all, I don’t know where he slept, because he was in my kitchen when I woke up...” he explained and looked at his friends. All of them were really invested in his story, like it was the best gossip they ever heard. Lucas sighed. “Any questions?”

“Didn’t you say he has a girlfriend?”

“So he slept at your place?”

“What happened this morning?”

“Is he still in your apartment?”

All those sudden questions came right into Lucas’ face and he didn’t had the time to answer them, cause his phone was buzzing in his pocket. He excused himself for a minute, getting up from the floor where he was sitting and walking to the window, picking up. It was an unknown number.

“Hello?” 

“Lucas, am I interrupting?” said a really soft voice from the other side of the line. Lucas’ heart skipped a beat, just hearing Eliott was enough for him to feel better. He smiled like an idiot.

“How did you get my number?” he asked, leaning to the wall as he looked out of the window. 

“I have very special skills.” the other boy replied and Lucas could hear his annoying grin forming on his face. “So, am I interrupting?” he asked. “I tried to go to your place, but it looks like you’re not here.” he explained. Lucas felt guilty and happy at the same time. He totally forgot to tell Eliott that he will spend a few hours with his friends, not like he owed him any explanations, but it was really sweet of Eliott wanting to meet up.

“I’m with my friends right now, but we can meet up a bit later if you want to.” he offered with a soft smile. He already missed Eliott, though they were together a couple hours ago. 

“Sounds cool. We should grab a coffee.” 

“Coffee sounds good.” Lucas said. He wished Eliott to be there with him, playing with his hair like in the morning. He just got shivers just by thinking about that moment. He never felt anything like this before, Eliott was really special.

“So... in an hour maybe? I still gotta finish some sketches for this project, but after that I’m free all day.” he said with a little excitement in his voice, that warmed up Lucas’ chest.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s meet up in front of the building, okay?” 

“Sure, see you then.” he said and hung up. Lucas put away his phone and turned to his friends, being surprised that all three of them were watching him like he was some sort of rare animal. Basile kept chewing on pizza, but the others were staring at him, mouth slightly open. It was Yann who broke the awkward silence.

“Dude, I’ve never seen you being so smooth before.” he said impressed. “I mean with Sara and Chloé you were smooth, but this is way more different.”

“You really fucking like this guy, don’t you?” Arthur asked, his lips starting to form a grin. Lucas sighed and sat back down to the floor, grabbing a slice of pizza.

“It’s nothing serious, we are just... flirting with each other.” he finished his sentence a bit unsure, since he couldn’t really describe the thing they had between each other. It was like there were special magnets inside their bodies that only reacted to each other, pulling them closer with sheer force. When Eliott was with him, he felt safe, he felt like he was his true self and could  tell anything to him without being afraid.

“Just flirting?” Arthur asked mockingly. 

“Can we drop the topic now?” Lucas sighed, shoving the pizza into his face, enoying every flavor on it. It was relieving to eat something delicious after Eliott’s horrible try to cook this morning. 

Thursday 17:14

Lucas was tired, his friends were obviously nice, caring and funny, but they could be too much at once, especially when they wanted to know something. He tried to tell them what happened in the morning as short as possible, because he kinda wanted to keep things to himself, like the way Eliott looked at him, his soft touches, the almost kiss and then his forehead kiss before he left. The feelings were so overwhelming, he felt like his heart would burst out of his chest when he sees Eliott again.

He got off the bus, walking towards the building he was living in, he was listening to some music through earphones, trying to close out the world and his thoughts of Eliott. He was everywhere in his head, which wasn’t too bad, but Lucas needed time to breathe, which was really hard when you keep thinking of your crush.

Eliott was sitting on a bench in front of the apartment, looking at his phone. He fought back the urge to text Lucas. It was a hard thing to do, but he was successful in the last 20 minutes since he was sitting there. He finished his job kinda quickly, so after he couldn’t find himself anything to do in his home, he decided to sit in the sunshine, enjoying the warmth, while waiting for his adorable neighbor to finally come home. 

He noticed him from far away, Lucas was wearing black jeans and a navy blue jacket with a giant, grey scarf in his neck. Eliott didn’t even realize that the weather was windy, he wasn’t cold at all, even if he was wearing jeans, a shirt and a warm sweater, He got up, smiling brightly when he saw that Lucas noticed him, putting away the earphones while walking. 

“Hey!” he said happily when Lucas was close enough to hear. 

“Hey!” Lucas said, he smiled softly. Eliott was really attractive even in sunshine, his hair was all over the place like always, but it looked much more lighter colored in the sunlight than in the apartment. “How are you?” 

“I’m good, finished my project now, so everything is fantastic.” Eliott said, taking a step towards Lucas. “Shall we go?” he asked, trying to fight back the urge to touch Lucas, failing miserably. His hands moved before he could think, slowly stroking away some stray hair from the other’s eyes. It was a short moment, but both of them took a sharp breath, not moving for a half minute. Then Lucas, as the brave, chaotic gay boy he is grabbed Eliott’s hand, intertwining their fingers. 

“Yeah, let’s go.’ he said with a confident smile, as he saw how happily Eliott looked at their hands. 

Thursday 18:46

After their “date” in the coffee shop, Lucas and Eliott went out to the park for a romantic walk. It started to get dark, but not too much. The air was much colder than it was earlier, so they were holding each others hands, while they hide their free hands in their pockets to keep them warm. Since it was the middle of the week and also kinda late, the boys were almost alone in the park.

They talked about so many things in the last few hours, Eliott told Lucas how they were together with Lucille for years, then they decided to end the relationship, because neither of them were happy, but they stayed friends, because they knew one another better than anyone. 

Lucas talked about his hard years at high school, trying to figure out what’s wrong with him, before accepting his sexuality. He told Eliott how hard it was for him to come out, that not everything went smooth like in the movies, but his friends were just really supportive, helping him through the tough days. It was heartwarming to remember the reaction of Basile and Arthur. Also the enthusiasm of Daphné and the girls. He was lucky to have such good friends around him.

They arrived home late, Eliott’s nose and cheeks were red because of the cold outside, but it made him look kinda cute. Lucas took off his scarf as soon as they stepped into the building. Now they were standing on the hallway, in front of their doors, not knowing what to do. Neither of them wanted to leave, this was just too good to end. 

“So, this is where we say Good night.” Eliott said after long minutes of silence. He had to say something, he couldn’t just walk inside the apartment with Lucas.

“I don’t wanna say Good night yet.” Lucas said seriously, playing with the scarf in his hands. His face felt warm because of the blush that appeared on it. He couldn’t say anything else, but this was more than enough.

Eliott only hesitated for a few seconds before he pulled Lucas closer by his waist, pressing his lips on his gently. The kiss started off softly, Lucas wrapped his arms around Eliott’s neck, standing on his tiptoes to make the position comfortable. They were playing for minutes before Eliott started to lick Lucas’ lips, asking him to open it. That was more than enough, Lucas slowly opened his mouth to let Eliott’s greedy and wild tongue inside. 

The kiss became much more intense and before Lucas could even realize it, Eliott pushed him to the door of his own apartment, holding his waist strongly. His fingers were wandering under the jacket, touching Lucas’ skin. It was hard to focus his thoughts when such an attractive person tried to baisically fuck him with his clothes on in the middle of the hallway. Lucas played with Eliott’s hair, enjoying the wild dance their tongue was doing at the moment, also enjoying the long, cold fingers touching his back and stomach.

Finally Lucas had the strength to pull his hands away from Eliott’s hair, breaking their kiss with a soft smile. Eliott looked at him like a lost puppy. Their lips were red and swollen, but damn if his neighbour didn’t look hot like this. Hair even more messy than usual, thanks to Lucas’ wandering fingers. 

“You wanna sleep at my place?” he asked suddenly with all the bravery he had. Eliott smiled like the cute angel he was, stroking Lucas’ cheek, kissing his lips again. 

“Yes, of course.” he said happily, planting another quick kiss on those swollen lips. “I wouldn’t miss the chance.”

“Okay.” Lucas mumbled, unable to form normal sentences when the tall boy was being so damn charming. He managed to open the front door before they started to make out again, much more wildly now. 

Their way to the bedroom was chaotic as their tried to walk, kiss and undress at the same time. Sometimes they giggled at how stupidly they must look like. When they finally made it to Lucas’ bed, they were only wearing shirts and briefs. Their hands were everywhere on each other, taking in everything, like they only have limited time to enjoy each others company, while in fact they had all the time in the world. 

[thewritingstar]

98 that’s a lot of questions I wonder if you could answer them all 🤔🙃

*Deep sigh and putting my hands together* BOI IF YOU DON’T THINK I CAN ANSWER ALL THESE BITCHES!! YOU COME INTO MY ASK BOX AND TELL ME “i WONDER” HOE DON’T WONDER ANYMORE. 

don’t come for me like this anon.....here ya go. 

smh

i answered all of these and it took forever so yall better read this shit

enjoy bitch

--

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

-Mugs

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

-both im a sugar addict

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

-bubblegum

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

-prob either really quiet or really loud

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

-I hate soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

-I really like pastel and goth styles

7. earbuds or headphones?

-earbuds

8. movies or tv shows?

-Both

9. favorite smell in the summer?

-Vanilla

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

-Flag Football (stealing the flags) and badminton

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

-dont really eat in the mornings but prob granola bar or left overs

12. name of your favorite playlist?

-Shower lol

13. lanyard or key ring?

-lanyard

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

-Sour gummi worms..that shit is CRACK

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

-Great Gatsby

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

-apple sauce or on one leg

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

-all black converse

18. ideal weather?

-warm and sunny

19. sleeping position?

-stomach, side, in a ball

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

-Laptop or phone

21. obsession from childhood?

-My little pony, littlest pet shop, Disney, elephants, Chinese food

22. role model?

-Tara Strong, Walt Disney, Francis Dominic 

23. strange habits?

-tugging my hair, biting my nails, wiggling on my heels like a penguin and going up stairs on all fours (when im home)

24. favorite crystal?

-answered

25. first song you remember hearing?

-American idiot- Green Day

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

-Eat 

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

-Eat

28. five songs to describe you?

-idk Cartoon theme songs lol

29. best way to bond with you?

-make me laugh or talk about disney

30. places that you find sacred?

-Flower gardens

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

-anything with my high heel boots

32. top five favorite vines?

-Road Work Ahead, Oh my god he on X Game mode, What the Fuck Richard, This house is fucking nightmare!, Happy one year babe! Im 27. 

33. most used phrase in your phone?

-YEET, Yall and bitch

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

-Stanley Steamer, The First5California.com song 

35. average time you fall asleep?

-now its 12 am -1 am... use to be like 10pm

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

-oh god that was so long ago i dont even know but it was one of the first ones like pepe or some some

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

-suitcase

38. lemonade or tea?

-raspberry ice tea

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

-dont like lemon in my desserts 

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

-A condom was thrown on my desk in french class (it was unopened thank god)

41. last person you texted?

-my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

-Jacket pockets

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

-HOODIE

44. favorite scent for soap?

-Vanilla or tropical

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

-Superhero

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

-Big shirt and no shorts (underwear obvi)

47. favorite type of cheese?

-I fucking hate cheese

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

-Strawberry or Lemon

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

-Its always fun to do the impossible- Walt Disney

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

-For my birthday my friend got my a “Sorry for your loss” card and i cried for 30 mins

51. current stresses?

-um everything..college and being the only snacc in my household

52. favorite font?

-comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands?

-Still have both of them

54. what did you learn from your first job?

-That people are assholes 

55. favorite fairy tale?

-Disneys Rapunzel 

56. favorite tradition?

- My grandma got all the grandkids pjs on Christmas eve every year and we would wear them to sleep 

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

-Anxiety, Depression (sorta), Dropping my churro on the ground at Disneyland

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

-Quick Wit, Art abilities?, Standing on my head and making weird ass noises

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

-Already answered

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

-A really cool and cute magical one!!

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

-From Once Upon A Time, honestly they ave the best quotes. “So when I win your heart, Emma- and i will win it-it will not be because of any trickery, but because you want me”- Killian orrrrrrr He smells like forest”- Regina

62. seven characters you relate to?

-Juvia (FairyTail), Star (SVTFOE), Mabel (Gravity Falls), Maybec (Kingdom Keepers, sassy and artistic), Bubbles and Blossom (PPG) and Belle (beauty and the beast)

63. five songs that would play in your club?

-Boyfriend: BTR, Dancings not a crime: Panic!, Bang bang: Jessie, Ari and Nicki, Read you, wrote you: Drag race lol and Busted from Phineas and Ferb because I can

64. favorite website from your childhood?

-Webkinz, PetPetPark (STILL SALTY ABOUT IT) Club Penguin, Build a bear, Poptropica, i played every game yall

65. any permanent scars?

-only emotionally 

66. favorite flower(s)?

-Roses and water lilies..and every flower cause they pretty.. oh Dahlias too

67. good luck charms?

-petting my dogs. 

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

-Mango anything or Cherry. I hate cherry flavoring. 

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

-I have a great memory so i usually remember how i learned it, but.. Did you know that the water on the Jungle Cruise in Disneyland is 3 feet deep and dyed brown? Plus the water in all the parks is a special mix that doesn't contain chlorine because alot of people are allergic so its safe to touch? (learn from a disney doc)

70. left or right handed?

-right

71. least favorite pattern?

-those ugly ones on leggings.

72. worst subject?

-Math or english (haha and i like to write)

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

-Grapes and teriyaki sauce. if they on the plate. ill just dip them in. I have an addiction to teriyaki sauce. 

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

-I dont take any unless I have my period and my cramps are usually at a 10 so i try and take it when they at a 5

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

-when i was young 

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

-I LOVE potatos: Fries and mash are best plus baked. I HATE chips thou

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

-Any bright flower or ivy

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

-coffee, dont like sushi

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

-AHHHH my license is soooooo bad. I had strips of red in my hair (got it when i was 15-16) and i didnt know they took your pic at your permit test. Its awful. School is def better and my senior photo pops. 

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

-Jewel

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

-Fireflys (arent they the same?)

82. pc or console?

-Console 

83. writing or drawing?

-Both but im better at writing

84. podcasts or talk radio?

-Podcasts but I dont listen to alot. 

84. barbie or polly pocket?

-I played more with Littlest Pet Shop and My Little Pony lol (i have 400) prob Barbie thou

85. fairy tales or mythology?

-oooooooofffff cant decide

86. cookies or cupcakes?

-oooooff i love both but cupcakes

87. your greatest fear?

-wasting my life away.....or heights...certain bugs

88. your greatest wish?

-to be happy and have all my dreams (life, job, romance,etc) happen. Plus going to every Disney Park in the world.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

-Depends on the situation but sometimes you need to take care of yourself before others. If you arent doing good, how the hell you suppose to take care of others. 

90. luckiest mistake?

-hmmm idk being born

91. boxes or bags?

-depends on what im carrying but prob bags

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

-I love fairy lights

93. nicknames?

-any mispronunciation of my name, Dean, Big D (yes people call me this), Star, Sassafras and some more that yall dont get to know :) You can give me a nickname if ya want

94. favorite season?

-Spring and Summer

95. favorite app on your phone?

-Tumblr, Snapchat, Tsum Tsum 

96. desktop background?

- Its items from super mario and mario kart

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

- Eight

98. favorite historical era?

-oof im a history buff but I do love Greek and Roman because I love mythology...Maybe even 1800s.

hi if you got to the end of this then I love you and for proof leave me a 🐰

[coreofyourspirit]

Tupac Shakur The Spirit

Legacy-Greatest of All Time/G.O.A.T., Star on Hollywood Walk of Fame, Educational Courses taught at Universities on his life and music, Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Inductee, Biographical Books & Movies, Hologram at Coachella, Tattoos with his image, Apparel with his image, Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts, 7-Foot Bronze Statue, Tupac themed Restaurant, Stories that he is hiding out in other countries, Ongoing questions about who assassinated him, etc.

Tupac Amaru Shakur commended by God in Heaven, to come into the world in 1971 to serve as a Prophet. Tupac was born Lesane Parish Crooks and was ready for his commission when he was renamed Tupac Amaru Shakur. As Jesus was born Immanuel, he was commissioned and was then called Jesus. Abram to Abraham had the same occurrence, all of these men left a legacy and established creation in the world for God. Tupac amazed the world with his talent and ambition. He left a prolific impression on those who have been graced by his artistry, wise words and witnessing his fearless way of speaking out about the injustice placed upon him and the injustice that he observed in the inner city. A black man that inspired other black men to feel comfortable wearing a bald head. Why is it far-fetched that he worked for God in Heaven, when we acknowledge his legacy?

Tupac Shakur was in the world as a 7th Level Elder, part of a group of Elders titled Hierarchy of Heaven. They are the oldest and most mature Spirits who are complete and balance. They come into the world and experience alongside everyone, they are unconventional, mature in their personality, use their soul as a guide and closely work with God in dealing with creation. They don’t remember their full eminence while living in the world and everyday people wouldn’t know or consider what rank these people have in Heaven. God allows them the same free will as everyone, because he wants to see how they behave while forgetting their rank of attainment in spirit. God doesn’t want them to appease him, he wants them to use their soul and fix problems, they have to be selfless without trying or pretending to be, these requirements ensure that they do not take advantage or misuse their spiritual rank. God wanted Tupac to have a massive platform, that could be used for national attention. Tupac was already a very creative Spirit, so he chose music and acting as a career. He started out early at 14 years old developing his creative side and future career. Everyone can look into Tupac’s eyes and see how genuine and introspective he was, how his conversation was well past that of his age, how everyone was and are drawn to him for their own personal reasons and how he would talk about God. We don’t know many who have left an enormous legacy and have accomplished so much, even if they had lived to be 75.

Tupac had a direct connection to God and as he openly let people know that he talked to God, he already was sent insight that he had adversaries in the world and that is why he made it known in some of his lyrics. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., was also given insight and spoke about it; he knew he wouldn’t be present to see the end of the civil rights movement. In life,  when you observe and listen to the underlying message of what people say, you have tapped in to their innermost feelings, like when Tupac first piqued our interest in who Makaveli was.  When Tupac brought Makaveli into present day conversation, he was sharing what resonated in his soul. You can come back from death, because you don’t die, your spirit has returned to the world over and over. Makaveli faking his death could never happen, because you don’t die anyway, even if you get put on the cross, you don’t have a lifetime, you have an existence. Although, Tupac delivered the message in an unusual way, you have to dig deep in order to discern what he was saying about what Makaveli did and why he connected with the notion of not dying.

Tupac was sometimes looked at as a thug figure, gangster rapper, homeboy, cool and controversial, but as he left Heaven to begin his lifetime in 1971, God knew Tupac as Master Teacher, Prophet, Healer, Creative Artist, Activist, Mediator, Wise, Faultless, Mature, Intelligent, Gift Giver, Naturally Ambitious, Focused, Resilient, Trustworthy, Reliable, Philosophical, Responsible, Eyes that are good and bared the purity of his old soul, Elder. God’s colleagues the Elders, work with him in Heaven and are sometimes born into the world. Elder’s, establish creation and intervene in the leading problems in the world. When their lifetime is over, they bring back their experiences, as well as the evidence of, the methods & modalities of Spirits in the world. While in life Tupac blended in well with others and his first-hand experience gave him an insider’s view. He shared with God the pandemic of inner-city crime & poverty, murders & atrocities against each other, misdeeds of politicians, the entertainment industry, religious & personal greed, homelessness, police brutality, increased drug addiction, teenage pregnancy & prostitution, racism, children growing up in lack, decline of the family unit, criminal justice & legal system, people’s behavior hateful/lustful/jealous, the oppression of “Thug Life.” God cursed Tupac to see what life should be like. It was painful for him to witness the plight of others and that is why he was so outspoken and passionate, Tupac was doing “God’s work.”

Tupac shared his wisdom on Thug Life as anything in life, that robs you of experiencing life by oppressing you, someone else intentionally causing you hardship by exercising their personal power over you, to hold you back or keep you down. The expansiveness of your life is taken from you. Thug=Take. When you wear Thug Life on your body, you identify with being held down by circumstances, people, legal system, etc. Tupac knew the violence was attributed to a survival mentality, I’m going to take your life before you take mine. Henceforth, “Thug Life” was appropriate for the problem that existed and it was not just about Tupac intervening by coining the term and tattooing it on his body. It was about God having to deal with the massive number of Spirits that returned to Heaven murdered, taking life from each other. Tupac interceded as an Elder, with going into the trenches and sharing what it looks like, when someone wants to take from you. He did not promote gang banging and wanted them to stop taking from each other. He presented them with Thug Life and what it did to their community. Tupac wanted to bring peace to the ongoing feud between those who grew up in the inner-city just like him. He brought the idea of unity and what that would feel like. “Instead of self destructive, try self productive, all the mentality must stop, we have to find a way out. Organize, if we so strong as Hustlers, as G’s, as Thugs, then we shouldn’t have no rape, no violence and no gunshots in our community. We need to take care of our own.”  

Although in Tupac’s lifetime he was a black man, non-religious, didn’t hold to one particular ideology, he was God’s elect sent to advocate and change circumstances for the better, for a mass number of people. He innately knew that he was doing God’s work and found that, the images that reflected those doing God’s work was misleading. The characters who were supposed to be doing God’s work, got their money and went home to their luxurious accomodations after leaving their mega church and the people remained in lack and poverty. This is one of the reasons God was secure in his choice of Tupac, his reflective nature shed light on many critical matters, he did not pretend and he participated in many platforms that worked to heal the inner-city communities with underserved children. To God those children, would grow up and needed to be useful within creation, by bringing something original and beneficial to the world, that only their soul could create. God already knew that Tupac could be trusted to use his soul and that he would serve as prime example, of a person using their soul. Tupac was never distracted or slowed down by his mounting criminal allegations, he remained ambitious and focused. He was still working and wasn’t asking God to rescue him, Bloods vs. Crips Truce, East Coast/West Coast “their is no beef,” activism for political issues, activism for social issues, business, wisdom, music, movies, legal issues, etc.

Their is a spiritual explanation for every worldly occurrence and experience. Every person in the world is a Spirit who has a body and were born for a purpose. It’s everyone’s job to find their purpose and the meaning of it, that is why their will never be another Tupac Shakur. God only created one, there is no comparison to Tupac because no one has had the same experiences, that he has had within his existence and have not been commended to fulfill the specifics of his lifetime work. Tupac is a very accomplished Spirit and it took eons of time for him to develop into a Prophet and now a Lord. He earned his rise in rank and when Tupac was assassinated in 1996, he returned to Heaven and had ascended to Lord, due to him using his massive platform, reaching a wide range of people, in every age group, in every part of the world for the betterment of all. No one in the world really considered why Tupac was so great and why his legacy continues to grow? It is because he was here on business and he corrected some of the issues God was dealing with. God’s choice of his elect in the world, comes with them being tried and tested thoroughly on every level imaginable, so that they can assist in establishing creation and bringing resolve to the prevailing issue of the time. Like everyone else, Tupac is a Spirit from Heaven, who happens to be a decision maker because of his personal contribution throughout the existence of spirit. As a Lord, Tupac works in a council of Elders who create, mandate and impose ordinances/decrees that impact every individual spirit created. 

When Tupac lost his body due to the trauma it received after being shot multiple times, his spirit returned to Heaven, his work didn’t begin when he arrived on the scene as Prophet Tupac Amaru Shakur, it began when he was created.

[forte7]

Forte’s Fan Character Flashback Friday - #7

Name:: Valarie Masters Series: Danny Phantom Background: Holey moley guacamole! I missed Fan Character Flashback Friday! I mean... today is a Friday, but I was supposed to post this last week! Dangit! I'm sorry! Things are kinda crazy on my end still and it only dawned on me today that I had forgotten to do something - and it was this.

A thousand apologies for my tardiness, but going on about that still won't get this posted.

I've actually been waiting to post this character because I KNOW I had old art of her SOMEWHERE around and I cannot, for the life of me, find it, and unfortunately, I'm down in Texas right now to help out my aunt and uncle so I can't even continue looking for the physical copies of said old art if it even still exists. I KNOW it exists, because I used to post art for this character on a Danny Phantom fan forum I would RP on and heck, I even found that old forum, managed to log in to see if any of those old links still worked, and NOPE.

Guess I deleted them off the Photobucket I once had them on at some point and where the physical copies are, I'm not sure, because I don't remember seeing them when going through my old drawing binders.

It's really quite frustrating.

Anyway, this is Valarie, who I named forgetting about the actual Valerie Grey character from the series, cause the name fit the general bad fan character naming system of "it starts with the same letter of the character I like and is kinda similar, so I'll go with it".  I kept it anyway, cause little me reasoned, "well, this Valarie spells it with two As while the other is with an A and an E, so it's fine."

Just kinda funny that they're both linked to Vlad though, so yay, I guess? Hahah, I dunno.

Anywho, Valarie was set up/designed to be Vlad's daughter, but not even his biological daughter, though not a clone like some of my other fan characters, though with things that happen later in the actual series, it would actually be... possible/viable. Instead, she was a extraordinary creation of the Ghost Zone and was more or less "born" of the supernatural energies that construct that dimension.

I guess you can kind of compare her existence to that of Maria from Silent Hill 2. The Born from a Wish scenario kind of implies that Maria was manifested by the town using James' subconscious memories and feelings regarding his wife. Valarie, in the same vein, was manifested by the Ghost Zone, for whatever reason, to help placate Vlad's need and want for a family of his own.

Mind you, this entire backstory was cobbled together before Kindred Spirits introduced Dani Phantom and her entire storyline... which... is.... kinda the same, really, to Valarie's, and I remember at the time, was kind of mad about it back in the day.

Speaking of Dani Phantom, I remember how a lot of people were mad about Butch Hartman's apparent laziness in her character design and creation, cause it was pretty akin to many "bad fan characters" that you see out there, which, hey, I won't deny; that's what this whole Flashback thing I do is about, but you know, this just serves as a good example of the fact that pretty much... everyone does this. Everyone makes bad fan characters, even for their own things, so I think it's just more healthy for people to realize this and embrace it, hahaha.

Going back to Valarie - she's more or less a person who exists to help Vlad chill the fuck out and maybe not ruin things for everyone or everything. A more recent reason I came up with for this was that Clockwork and/or The Observants that are seen in the Ultimate Enemy special with Dark Danny foresaw Vlad's ambitions proving to be too troublesome in the future, so to prevent this from causing way more havoc than it's worth, even with Danny around to stop him or whatever, they're like "hey just throw him a kid; that'll keep him busy a little, right?"

Even with her supernatural origins, Valarie is half-human and half-ghost like Vlad and looks much like him thanks to just her being a physical manifestation of one of his subconscious desires. Physically, she’s about seven or eight years old and generally acts playful, though polite, but can occasionally come off as spoiled.

She shares many of her father’s sentiments towards various issues and people, though it’s safe to assume she doesn’t fully understand his reasoning for those feelings due to how young she is. For example, she harbors a dislike for Jack, though finds his clumsiness more amusing than idiotic and only really says she hates him because Vlad does.

In regards to Danny, she likes him and finds him fun to play with, but in her terms, that means toying around with him. Despite her small size, she can hold her own in battle and has a good handle on her ghost powers and won’t hesitate to use them to pull pranks or harass other people, especially if she has or is told to. Her antics can be described as impish while in ghost form, though she likes to feign innocence if caught.

A big point of curiosity with her is her memory; she has no memory of a time before not “being” and has no real answer when asked about her childhood. She doesn’t seem bothered by this lack of knowledge and usually shrugs it off, intent that she exists because she does; she feels no need to question it further. For her things are simple: if her father is happy, she’s happy. Be this just some childish thought process or some more ingrained sense of purpose because of her strange origins is up for debate.

More was actually done with this character than others and like I said, there used to be old sketches of her about. If I ever find them (and I hope I do, really), I’ll be sure to post them.

But aside from that, like I said, I did role play with this character on a Danny Phantom fan thread and boy was that a cringy time. I will admit now, that back then, when I was like 12 or whatever, I was an obnoxious brat who didn’t know how to really socialize or what she was doing on the Internet. Hahaha, when going back there to find the old image links, I ventured onto some of my older posts and…. Whooooo boy, no thank you.

I know at that point I did also write short fanfics from time to time, but I think those might be locked on boot drives from our old computers and don’t have a way of looking for them now either. For those, if I ever do find them, I might also post them, but it all depends on just HOW much cringe I want to trudge up and share, hahaha.

I know I’ve been ranting a lot now and it’s already now past Friday, even for the time zone I’m in, but I’m gonna go on a little side story as… an apology, though it just means a bit more ranting.

When I said I RPed on this site, I can’t actually say a lot of actual character development happened. I don’t remember what the system was for RPing canon show characters and the times they did pop up, it was on a situational basis, because more people were interested in playing their own character and pretty much everyone on that forum had half-ghost, half-human characters that had their powers for one reason or another.

There was one thread that was particularly popular though that I spent a lot of time in with most of the other players, called Halfa High, so it was just kids in high school. Characters, like mine, that were younger than high school age, had various reasons for being there, like they’re super geniuses or they have a sibling there they’ve come to see or something like that; it’s a fandom RP so anything can happen. Most of the stuff in here, because it was 12-14 or whatever year olds, was just characters pairing up with each other, cause I guess that’s just what kids care about, hahaha. I don’t know, I’m just an old lady now.

Anyway, this thread went on for a good number of pages and eventually they started a second one. And then they had one where everyone went to summer camp, so other weird adventures could be had without the confines of going to school.

This was the one I remember doing the most in though frankly, I don’t remember what the overarching storyline was at the time, though I don’t think I knew what was really going on back in the day either.

One of the big points I do remember was the fact that many of the people on this forum looked up to one particular member, who I’ll call Susan, because that was her character’s name. I’m pretty sure she was in her early 20s at this time, so a lot of the younger people gravitated towards her because she was mature and knew how to keep things moving in terms of RP story; she was more or less the main storyteller of the Halfa threads, coming up with a lot of the plot points and twists. She was also just popular cause she had been there for a while, I think, and she was a pretty good artist on the forum.

She wasn’t necessarily a bad person and usually always open to adapting an RP to involve suggested ideas, but I remember at the time, I was super jealous of her. One, because she did have really good art and I felt like a poo-poo artist and two, because she seemed to have a lot of sway in terms of what she wanted to happen in most scenarios, so much so, it was treated as forum canon that her character was married to Dark Danny and had two kids with him.

Nowadays, of course, I don’t give a damn. Whatever. But back then, it was annoying to me. And I guess some part of me wanted to pair my characters with Older Dan. I remember actually being openly mad about it on the forums and to her in private messages about it and did get in trouble for being a salty, little brat for it. One time, I even wrote a bitter fanfic that was less than subtle in regards to it, but I remember cooling my jets enough for them to not just full out ban me.

Like I said, I was obnoxious back then; it’s a phase all kids go through I guess, cause I see it in kids that age even now.

Anyway, this actually developed into a story point in the RP when I agreed to not be such an Angsty Annie about the whole thing and the Halfa Summer Camp thread took some weird turns. Besides the usual pairing of everyone’s characters with one another and other summer camp-y hijinks, it had time travel, an evil group that were named after the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and political unrest regarding a ghostly royal family.

The royal family, of course, consisted of Susan and Dan, and their two kids. They had a son and a little girl, who I don’t remember the names of in the slightest. Susan got crowned? Queen of the Ghost Zone after she and some members of some Ghost Council? Were able to seal away Pariah Dark… and in that timeline, Dan was a fugitive, so they got married in secret and still managed to have secret relations enough to have their two kids.

But see, that was in the future of the Ghost Zone, which was like 20-30 years away from the time of the events of the actual RP. Why they were going back in time, I don’t remember, but I think it was something to do with Clockwork sending them back or something, who knows.

Valarie, however, is also technically part of the Ghost Royal Family (cause that’s a thing here…. hahaha), because I guess Susan was… Vlad’s niece? Somehow? So that made her and Valarie cousins, but because Susan was the one who sealed the Big Bad away, that meant she got to be Queen, just… because? There will be a lot of uncertainty with this recollection, cause again, heck if I actually knew or know what happened then.

Anyway, I guess in the uhm… present timeline, Susan was going to summer camp and this was before her and Danny were even a thing, cause doesn’t happen until they’re adults? I think, but she runs into a version of Dan that’s… in between him being a teenage and the future version that’s married to Susan… and… there was some contention with that, but again, I don’t remember what…

But eventually, everyone’s future selves end up appearing at summer camp, again for their own various reasons, along with Susan’s future kids, who get caught up in things, mainly because of misunderstanding and people having grudges and just wanting to kill other people without talking it out.

This loops back to my annoyance with Susan getting her character paired with a major canon character and the aforementioned political unrest, because it led to Older Valarie being a quiet, hardened soldier with a hidden, strong, but deeply unrequited love for Dan, which of course, causes a bit of tension with her and Susan, who is the Queen in the future. Also, apparently, I guess? There was a Ghost War or something? In the future or at some point that they set up a Royal Guard and Army, cause Valarie was more or less the Captain of all that, along with the personal trainer of the eldest son of the Royal Family. Future Susan, of course, is fine with her being in such a position of power cause I guess she’s proved it by this point and she doesn’t know of Valarie’s feelings for her husband, so it’s all right as rain as long as she just… stews about it silently to herself, because that is totally the healthy thing to do.

Older Valarie also goes back in time though, because eventually, people start coming across the aforementioned Four Horsemen, which aren’t really horsemen, because they don’t even have horses, but again, are named after them and are supposed to be the “living embodiments” of their namesake. So we have super powerful characters named War, Pestilence, Famine, and Death running around for… reasons? That I can’t even remember. Certain members’ characters are actually the younger versions of the Four before they’re… corrupted? Or something like that and given those names and most the people who turn into whichever, of course, have to fight their evil, older selves cause that’s cool or whatever.

Younger Valarie, at the time, was just hanging about and I guess fawning over a teenage Danny or the in between Dan (this is just as confusing to remember as it is to read, trust me), and I think makes friends with the Future Prince and Princess, who again are running around. I think the Prince was there to try and find Dan, because he believes he? Killed his father? Even though Dan is his father? And Dan was there anyway to protect the younger version of his future wife…? And the Princess was there just cause she wanted her mom, which is Future Susan, who went back to… do…. Something…?

But anyway, Younger Valarie ends up getting approached by her future self, who had originally come to serve her duty as Captain of the Royal Guard and protect Future Queen Susan, but eventually starts to realize that she could perhaps mess with the past to change things to the way she really wants them (even though I know now that would probably create some annoying paradox but please don’t get me on time paradoxes cause we’ve been here long enough already), so she starts to put it in her younger self’s head that everything going on here isn’t fair and she should do more than just be obedient and trusting and take whatever Susan says without question, because by not being more open and honest about your feelings just leads to a life of misery, pain and loneliness.

However, Younger Valarie just doesn’t get why she would say these things and rejects that line of thinking, which kinda makes Older Valarie snap and be like “okay, fine, I guess I’ll just go kill some peeps and then you’ll see what I mean”... I mean, I think? She does try to stop influencing her younger self and try to take matters into her own hands though.

Because at one point, we did have it where Older Valarie confronts Older Susan about her deep, dark hidden feelings, and they get into a fight over it, especially after Older Valarie threatens to go kill the Prince, but being a trained soldier and the Captain of the Royal Guard, Older Valarie does kick Older Queen Susan’s butt, but I think… is interrupted by one of the Four, that being War.

I think Older Dan also comes in at some point and chides Older Valarie for her actions, but heck if I remember. To be honest, if I fully cared and wanted to really relive some cringe, I could probably go to the forum and just read over the whole thread, but that was like 200+ (if not more) of pages and I…. do not feel like doing that, hahaha.

Anyway, Older Valarie and War end up getting into a fight, because it turns out War himself has some issue with Older Valarie. And it turns out that he used to be like her second in command? Or something? Who disappeared while on a mission and ended up into some spoopy, dark, dangerous, evil place, where he got corrupted and turned into War and it turns out he was okay with it, because he was also angry and bitter, cause surprise! He himself had feelings for Older Valarie, but poor guy got friendzoned and his attempts went unnoticed because she instead had feelings for Older Dan, because love triangles are also a cool plot twist to do, cause why not, I guess.

Uhm… I think during this fight was when Older Valarie started to notice the error? Of her ways? Or something like that after seeing one of her closest subordinates fall into darkness, so her story shifts to trying to get War to remember who he used to be. This character did have an original name, but I totally forget what it was… Anyway, War claims that there’s nothing she can do because he embraced and was more than willing to give up his soul or whatever for the power to actually make Older Valarie notice him or something.

I… actually don’t remember much past this point, though. I want to say she did end up getting through to him, but that might just be me rewriting history. That character, though, was more or less being set up to give someone for Young Valarie to pair with and I do thing there was a present day or at least an uncorrupted version of that character pop up at one point….

But besides that, I don’t even remember if that RP was finished, mainly because I think I started to stop going there as much and lost interest. The RP itself, actually, I think started to slow down, mainly because people got busy with other things, especially Susan and because she was again, more or less the driving force behind most things, it petered out.

I’m actually uncertain how old I was when there, because I will admit, when I was in my first year of college, I toyed around with some of the concepts from this RP and wanted to repurpose it into a story. It was mainly the stuff that took place in the future with the Royal Family and with the Four Horsemen, where basically, it would follow Older Valarie (hell, the “rewrites” character name might have just been Valarie for simplicity sake) as she dealt with her feelings with the Royal family and her relation to it, trying to protect the Kingdom and its people, and eventually deal with the disappearance of her Second in Command and his reappearance as a giant threat later on.

…. Really, I still kinda like the idea…

ANYWAY, I have talked long enough and am tardy enough with just this post as it is, so I’ll leave it at that. According to the Google Doc where I’m writing all this before actually posting, this is six pages long, so even more apologies for my rambling.

Still, hope you liked this month’s look back in time and look forward to the next one!

[sugarssaur]

 @turnourterrorintogold sent me this ask game by @gilgamemesh so here we go~

1. Your first OC ever?

I can’t remember lol.

2. Do you have a personal favourite among your OCs?

Hmm I like drawing my big alien cat gorl Kida. Her design is fun and it’s probably the most “solid” character I have so far (alongside Orion).

3. Have you ever adopted a character or gotten a character from someone else?

Yeah, I kinda adopted Zokii, an albino galra oc from my dear friend Mij who sent me this ask game. 

4. A character you rarely talk about?

I have many ocs but I don’t talk much about any of them. I’ve been talking a lot about my galra oc’s with my friend Mij though.

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

I don’t know, I would be really happy if any of my ocs got popular.

6. Two OCs of yours that look alike despite not being related?

I don’t think I have any yet.

7. Are your OCs part of any story or stories?

Like, in fanfic? Because I have the Sheith children that will be part of a fanfic Mij is writing.

8. Do you RP as any of your OCs? If you do, introduce one of your RP OCs here!

No, I don’t.

9. Would you ever be willing to give any of your OCs to someone else?

I’m working on a oc for Mij so yeah.

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?

I don’t think any of my ocs have really complicated designs lol (at least the ones I have given more tought on).

11. Is there any OC of yours you could describe as a “sunshine”?

Kida.

12. Name an OC that isn’t yours but who you like a lot

Bud, Leo and Thatch are the ones I can think on the top my head now (and Zokii who is Mij’s oc ofc).

13. Do you have any troublemaker OCs?

Yeah, I have some villains too but I’m still working on them.

14. Introduce an OC with a tragic backstory

Leona, a fan apprentice from The Arcana. She had an abusive father, and ran away from her clan after being scratched in the face by an albino jaguar that later becomes her familiar.

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

Yes!

16. Which one of your OCs would be the best at biology (school subject)?

Orion? Or maybe another Voltron oc I have (from the next generations of paladins)? I don’t know, didn’t think about it.

17. Any OC OTPs?

Not yet.

18. Any OC crackships?

Welp I saw a post in the rayllum tag once saying “what if Rayla broke up with someone before going to the Katolis?” and I tought it was cool, so I created a moonshadow elf oc called Luana, Rayla’s ex girlfriend lol.

19. Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why)

I don’t know man I like all of them. I could introduce Kida or Orion, ‘cause they’re pretty solid ocs but I already talked a lot about them.

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details (headcanon voice, what kind of songs they like etc)?

I don’t think any of them can sing... Maybe Luana? 

21. Your most artistic OC

Orion! He’s one of my Sheith kids oc. Unlike the rest of his family, despite of him being a good fighter and a good strategist, he has no desire in following a militar career because he’s an artist! And he likes taking pictures of all the amazing things he gets to see when he travels to planets of the coalition with his family. He’s like an honorary member in missions because he, alongside a small team, records everything that’s going on aboard. He’s always ready to help when things get tought though. 

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Few people know about my ocs, so no.

23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

Welp, Kida was supposed to be more serious and way less cute and cat-like. 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Any of my pet ocs (pokémon, dragons, familiars, etc.)

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

Most of my sonas and one or other oc from The Arcana.

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will?

Nope.

27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?

I have three or more that that I’m basing off of two Lord Huron’s songs: Yawning Grave and Frozen Pines.

28. Your most dangerous OC?

My vilains I guess.

29. Which one of your OCs would go investigate an abandoned house at night without telling anyone they’re going?

Any of my mcs from Mystic Messenger. I mean, the mc already kinda did that didn’t she? Lmao.

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

Many of them because they’re nerds and I like stuffed animals so I can’t help it.

31. Pick one OC of yours and explain what their tumblr blog would be like (what they reblog, layout, anything really)

Kida would have a pastel blog, and she would probably mostly reblog and post cute aesthetic pictures and gifs.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?

My Mystic messenger mcs because they’re dumb enough to follow the instructions of a complete stranger and break in someone’s apartment lol.

33. Your shyest OC?

Probably Leona.

34. Do you have any twin characters?

I have Allurance kids as well, they’re twins- a boy and a girl. 

35. Any sibling characters?

The Allurance and Sheith kids (Orion, Kida and Zokii are adopted sibblings, they’ll probably get a human sister too in the future).

36. Do you have OC pairs where the other part belongs to someone else (siblings, lovers, friends etc)?

Zokii, they’re Kida and Orion’s older brother.

37. Introduce an OC who is not quite human

I’m just gonna link this.

38. Which one of your OCs would be the best dancer?

Probably Frida, my the arcana fan apprentice from Julian’s route.

39. Introduce any character you want

I have this furry alien boy which is the same alien species as Olia (Voltron). He’s one of Pidge’s favorite students and one of the next generation of paladins, but I couldn’t decide if he’s the blue or red paladin yet.

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

Well, it was cool talking about the sheith kids with Mij on discord.

41. Has anyone drawn fanart of your OCs? If yes, maybe show a picture or two here (remember sources & permissions!)

My friend and I made an art exchange and I posted it here a few years ago.

42. Which one of your OCs would be the most interested in Greek gods?

Orion, Leona, the allurance daughter, one of” the next generation paladins” oc and Zago (the arcana fan apprentice from Asra’s route).

43. Do you have any certain type when you create your OCs? Do you tend to favour some certain traits or looks? It’s time to confess

Don’t know...? 

44. Something you like about your OCs in general

Well, I try to make my characters diverse and unique.

45. A character you no longer use?

Some ocs from dumb stories I wrote when I was younger.

46. Has anyone ever told you that you treat your OCs badly?

No.

47. Has anyone ever (friendly) claimed any of your OCs as their child?

Probably not?

48. OC who is a perfect cinnamon roll, too good for this world, too pure.

Orion. He’s not very talkative but he’s a really nice dude, trust me.

49. Which one of your OCs would most likely enjoy memes

Most of them probably.

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you want.

I have a night fury plushie that I want to turn into an oc, but I couldn’t decide the name or if it’s a male or female.

Maybe it’s a female and I’ll give her a light fury girlfriend, who knows?

[aceofstars16]

So I got tagged by @pidgieowl and @theshadowedqueen82 for a few different tags so I’m going to do them all here...if you want to do any of them feel free!

It’s a little long so here it is under the cut

Nickname: Ace

Star sign: Taurus 

Height: 5′7ish

Time: 2:15 PM

Birthday: May 16th

Favorite bands: NEEDTOBREATHE, and lots of others, I’ve been on an Imagine Dragons kick lately 

Favorite solo artists: Owl City mainly? 

Songs that are stuck in my head: I’m listening to songs right now so I can’t tell what is stuck in my head haha xD

Last movie: Ummm, maybe Back to the Future 3??? I can’t remember xD

Last TV show: Elementary 

Why I created this blog: To see cool PJO stuff, now to chat with my friends haha

What you post/reblog: A BUNCH of fandoms, nature, and faith things

Why the url: My 12 year old self though Aceofstars sounded cool, and then I added the 16 on dA and here because it was my fave number

I follow: 229

Followers: 1,678...somehow?

Lucky numbers: Fave number is 16

Currently wearing: My Stark Internship shirt, jean shorts, and pink plaid socks

Dream job: Hmmm working with animals maybe?

Last book I read: ...I don’t even know...how about just Acts? xD

Top 3 universes: Marvel, Star Wars, and...Avatar maybe?

NICKNAMES: Ace

HEIGHT: 5′7ish

ORIENTATION: Asexual 

FAVORITE FRUIT:  Dude...it changes, right now, cherries!

FAVORITE SEASON: Hmmm, spring maybe or fall?

FAVORITE FLOWERS: Bluebonnets always <3

FAVORITE SCENT: Vanilla, cinnamon, and peppermint

FAVORITE COLOR: Any type of blueee

FAVORITE ANIMALS: Cats, or horses....or cheetahs or dragons xD

COFFEE, TEA OR HOT CHOCOLATE: Hmmm, tea cause it doesn’t make my stomach hurt xD

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: 8-10 (hey same bro! xD)

CAT OR DOG PERSON: Catsssssss

FAVORITE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS: SO MANY...don’t make me choose

NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH: Usually like...two and a comforter

DREAM TRIP: Hmmm, Iceland sounds nice right now

BLOG CREATED: October 2013

# OF FOLLOWERS: *looks up* 1678

RANDOM FACT: I love socks, like a lot, I kind of collect socks, but they have to be comfy, not just look cool. Looking cool AND being comfy are the best!

01. coffee or tea

02. early bird or night owl

03. chocolate or vanilla

04. spring or fall

05. silver or gold

06. pop or alternative (I honestly don’t know what the difference is so...?)

07. freckles or dimples

08. snakes or sharks (pictures, I like both, but being around them, neither xD)

09. mountains or fields (picture wise, mountains, but I like fields too?)

10. thunder or lightning (BOTH)

11. egyptian or greek mythology

12. ivory or scarlet

13. flute or lyre

14. eyes or lips

15. witch or fairy

16. opal or diamond

17. butterflies or honeybees

18. macarons or éclairs

19. typewritten or handwritten letters

20. secret garden or secret library (BOTH)

21. rooftop or balcony (...I like both???)

26. denim or leather (BOTH, I’m from Texas, like come on...xD)

22. spicy or mild

29. mermaid or siren

23. opera or ballet (either?)

24. london or paris (Can I go to both? xD)

25. vincent van gogh or claude monet (Well Starry Night is my fave, but I like Monet too???)

27. potions or spells (in the HP world...probably spells?)

28. ocean or desert

30. masquerade ball or cocktail party

rules: we’re snooping on your playlist. set your entire music library on shuffle and report the first ten songs that pop up. then choose ten victims.

“Porcelain Heart” by Barlowgirl

“Si Puedes Perdonar” from Book of Life (by Deigo Luna) 

“Hundered More Years” by Francesca Battistelli 

“Freedom Hymn” by Austin French

“Skating” by George Winston

“Carrying Your Love With Me” by George Strait

“Sparrows” by Jason Grey

“What You��ve Done to Me” by NEEDTOBREATHE

“The Star That Guides You Home” by Emma Stevens

“In the Night” by Andrew Peterson