#changbin platonic

[strxnged]

SKZ: # love letter

word count. 5.5k genre. comedy, platonic with a touch of f2l

overview. you find a love letter addressed to you sitting outside your dorm. by the time you realize it's not a prank, you're too caught up in finding your secret admirer to let it go. of the two plausible suspects, there's one person you'd really like it to be — and one you wouldn't. (uni!au)

warnings. 1: i thought it was hilarious. funny, even. so please read it and tell me if you laughed. and if it’s awfully unfunny, let me know that too. i guess it's bangchan x reader x changbin, but you'll have to tell me if that's an exaggeration. 2, i lost all my italics pasting this from google docs so some sentences may read not quite as intended if i missed them! 3, bangchan is addressed as chris for fun

You found the silence of the library stifling, almost exposing, and so instead it was your habit to sit on the wide front steps outside the entrance, as people occasionally walked past and supplied you with enough noise to keep you focused. You were so accustomed to the setting for studying, in fact, that you could notice from the temperature of the concrete what the weather would be like. They always had a sweaty, dewy feel on days that would be hot, and days it would rain they were cold enough to make your legs go numb.

Today, they were freezing. But you would not risk going inside. Your statistics homework would have to wait for you to read the letter you’d found outside your dorm’s door in the hall, presented carefully and clearly enough to be assumed intentional. The envelope was admirably calligraphed with no addressee but a “from your admirer” in the center that you could have sworn would have made it into a Victorian romance. You weren’t sure, at first, whether to open it. 

You were suspicious of things like this, especially at a university such as yours. Romance wasn’t discreet and suitors had no style. A love letter — if indeed the envelope contained what the embellishments suggested — was rarer than a party without alcohol or an RA on floor three without a stick up their ass.

Anticipation coursed through you as your finger ran under the fold, peeling the sealing off neatly. This in itself was a unique experience for you. Sealed envelopes were never quite… the same, after they passed through your hands. Perhaps the author was experienced at this. Perhaps they wrote them as an elaborate prank.

You took the tri-folded letter into your hands. It was typed — of course it was — in a small font with little spacing. Your eyes were dazzled by the number of words, and you were at once convinced that it was either not any kind of a love letter, or was meant for another’s eyes. Nobody could have this much to write about you in the context of romance. 

The letter addressed you inconveniently by your room number. All this could clarify for you was that it wasn’t accidentally placed at the wrong door, though there was still potential for a misinformed author on the resident of that dorm.

“Dear 310,

“I hope you were expecting this. I don’t mean to shock you.

“It will rain today, so I hope you remember to bring an umbrella. You’re the forgetful type. I would like to be the person to remind you of things, you know?

“I’m getting ahead of myself. I wanted you to know, in the case you hadn’t figured this out by this point, that I like you. I fancy you. I am very, very interested in you. But you aren’t in me, are you? I hope this can change. I hope you will keep your eyes off the floor and see me, someday soon. …”

A raindrop landed on the page, leaving a grey spot to distract your eyes. It would rain, and you would have forgotten your umbrella, of course. That was not indicative of the letter really being meant for you, but it did still unsettle you sufficiently.

You didn’t have a chance to resume reading. Your nerves got the best of you at the sound of a pair of heavy footsteps up the stairs, and you wasted no time restoring the letter to the envelope and shoving it between random pages of the textbook resting closed on your lap. The rain was beginning to pick up, now. You normally didn’t mind the weather unless it was wreaking havoc on your work, but the letter had made it a bit eerie.

The rain seemed to stop for a moment, and you looked up to realize a clear umbrella was being held over your head. For a whole three seconds, you froze, wondering if this was the admirer revealing theirself.

“Hey, idiot. Try looking at the forecast before you station yourself out here next time. You and Chris both, I swear.”

“Good morning to you, too, Changbin,” you said, standing up. You allowed the umbrella to cover you. You felt a sense of relief that you didn’t have to deal with awkward romanticisms of meeting the author.  “How was the gym this morning?” You considered telling him about the letter. You would have to finish reading it, first. Usually you told your best friend everything, but this felt a little fresh to be chattered about.

He flashed a dimple and clicked his tongue. “Worried Chris is gonna injure himself. My man is working the deadlift like mad, trying to catch up to my level.”

You giggled, looking Changbin in the eye as he winked at you. “Impossible. He should give up while you’re ahead.”

You processed the wink and froze, again. 

No.

Oh, please, no. 

As Changbin rambled — bragged? — about their push-day routine and the two of you set your course to the closest campus cafe, your head was working a mile a minute trying to make up proof that he wasn’t the author. It couldn’t be him. You had had enough bad luck with guy best friends going wrong, either from your end of theirs. It was always unreciprocated, enough times that it couldn’t possibly occur again. Changbin was the friend you told everything and complained about everything and spent your time off with. His dorm kitchen was basically yours, since neither him or Chris minded you bringing in your own ingredients and restoring their faith in oatmeal cookies.

Oatmeal truthing Computer Science Major and hip-hop truthing Sports Psyc Major, dating? You couldn’t lie. You hated the sound of that. Maybe you were both fairly introverted, and had similar senses of humour and all that. But that was perfect for you being friends. Just friends.

You realized you were clenching your teeth. You directed your attention to Changbin, trying to mentally drop the subject.

“I still don’t get why you don't study in the cafe,” Changbin was saying. “It’s never silent in there.”

The friendly door chime announced your arrival to the Java Day, and the bustle of students in and out proved his point well. But the reason you liked noise wasn’t necessarily for the noise itself, and besides, you had personal reasons for avoiding it. Ones that you would have to ignore for the eight-hundredth time, especially now.

Christopher Bang had no reason to be that adorable in an apron. Brown hair tossed over his left eyebrow, a smile glowing warmer than any drink in the venue. It nauseated you. You swore it was the adrenaline rush of him taking your order that woke you up for the day, not the coffee.

You hated that you even knew his schedule by heart, too. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. All morning shifts. He’d work out with Changbin, go shower, and then by the time you got there, he’d be there, smiling behind the counter. It’s not like you knew all this because you were a stalker. It was because you had a crush on your best friend’s roommate, and the information was freely made available to you especially when you didn’t want it to be.

You couldn’t stand going to the Java Day by yourself on those days. When Changbin and Chris broke into “bro” talk, which was really no different than watching two girls giggle and talk about their weekend plans, you could safely order and sneak a few gazes without suffering from acquainted small talk. 

“Because,” you said, facing Changbin. “Every time I come in here, I buy something. I don’t have the money to buy coffee here more than three times a week, and I cannot study when we stop here together.”

“Then come without me. No, wait, I’d miss you…” He thought for a second. “Just… come in and don’t buy anything, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind…” He frowned. “Okay, maybe don’t do that.”

You were thinking the same thing. Bad courtesy. Could get you on the bad side of the baristas, and it would be fatal to get on the bad side of the employees of the best cafe on campus.

“Befriend Chris, and blackmail him into giving you energy bean juice for free.”

“In what world is that a better idea?”

“Come on. Is that not easier than sitting on the freezing stairs in November, accepting rain as your fate when it falls? He’s nice enough.”

“I can’t stop the rain from falling.”

“Oh yeah. And you certainly can’t change how you respond to it, can you?”

“What can I say? I’m stubborn.”

The two of you had reached the front of the line. “Why’s Bin calling you stubborn?” Chan asked with a smirk.

Changbin punched your arm. “Idiot doesn’t know what roofs are.”

“Hmm… Sounds like ignorance, not obstinance.”

“It’s a combination of both,” you defended. “Um, I’d like—”

“Coffee two cream?”

Frick him for knowing your order. You nodded, feeling a bit shy. “Yes, please.”

“And an iced mocha.” Changbin added.

You gave him a look of contempt.

“No, no, I’m paying,” he clarified.

“Yeah, I got that. But you’re getting an iced coffee in November.”

Chris was shaking his head behind the counter. “I think you’re both crazy. That’s eight fifty-five.”

As Changbin paid, Chris offered you a friendly smile, as if to say, Lucky!

You gave him a blank smile and averted your eyes. The way your ears flamed was irrelevant, now. Because why was Changbin paying for your drink today, right after that letter?

You still had to finish reading it. You would be able to figure it out, you were sure, once you finished reading it. You would have enough information to go off of, then.

As you took a seat with your friend at a table, you could hear the titters of girls who had been standing behind you in line. You couldn't quite make out what was being said but it shoved your head back into reality once again. Chris was a flirt on the job, whether it was intentional or not. A great business strategy. You had heard him a few weeks ago talking humbly about his earnings to Changbin in an attempt to convince him to apply to the Java Day.

“All you gotta do is make coffee the best part of their day, man. And you’re handsome, you’d win all their hearts in no time.”

“No way. Shut up.”

“Think about it.”

He hadn’t been successful, but it had made you imagine for about a week what it would be like to work alongside Chris. You might not have the charm capabilities to earn tips, but you could definitely make a cup of coffee. Reality hit you with your course load; your class schedule clashed with Chris’s work schedule, and there was no room for side jobs on top of what you already did. And with that, you also came to realize there was no room to chase someone way out of your league, too.

You were a realist. Romance was hopeless, if not impossible, for you. And that was why, no matter who it was from, you would read the letter and then forget about it.

—

The rest of the letter was, unfortunately for you, a great deal of meaningless romantic statements — about your eyes, your smile, your devotion to studying. Things that could really apply to anyone who studied in public. Some general statements about being too shy to ask you out in person — as any person writing a love letter might say. And a strange reiteration of something you must have said to this person, something that was vague enough that you had no way to believe it wasn’t you. The part that got you worried, though, was when suddenly went down a more uncomfortable route.

“I know you don’t have any roommates. That must be terribly lonely and quiet. I want to change that for you.”

The level of overall detail in the letter was both confusing and uncomfortable for you. It was more stalkerish than flattering. How did they know about your aversions to silence? And why did that remark have to come across so suggestively? You were also disturbed by the closing request to meet in person.

“I would like to talk to you in person, to apologize for this method of getting in contact with you and answer your questions. And then maybe you can answer mine. Would you fall in love with me too?

“If you’ll meet me, put this letter outside your door where you found it. Let’s meet tomorrow (Saturday) evening at eight, at your favourite place — the Java Day. It’s usually quiet by then, isn’t it?”

You hated it.

However, contrary to your conviction to simply forget about it, you did just as the instructions were asking. You knew curiosity would get the best of you. And, honestly, you were a bit invested in whatever was going on.

You had to have backup, though. You called Changbin, asked him if he was busy Saturday night.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Your voice sounds weird. And you’re calling me almost midnight.”

“I’m fine. Just gotta talk to you about something.”

“I’m coming over if you don’t tell me what’s going on.”

You considered this. “I’ll come to you and explain.” It would be easier if you both knew what was up.

—

“A what?”

“Changbin, please,” you said, trying not to laugh. “You heard me. So, will you do it?”

“You got a what?” he asked again, eyes wide and jaw dropped comically.

“Come on, Changbin, you gotta do this for me. Otherwise I’ll think it was you who sent it.”

“Ain’t no way…” he said. He was sitting backwards in a chair from the communal area’s table, and he leaned away from the chair back while holding onto it. “No way.”

“I’m hurt. You don’t think anyone’s capable of falling for me?”

He crooked his eyebrows at you. “No, I don’t think anyone on the entire campus is capable of that kind of class.”

He had a point. Still. “I wouldn’t call it class. It was kind of creepy.”

“It could be worse. You wouldn’t believe what happens to Chris when we go to floor four.”

You didn’t want to know what happened to Chris when they went to floor four. “I still don’t get why they put the partiers on the floor above the quiet floor.”

“I think it’s a scheme to make the students feel helpless. And set them against each other.”

“You know, you could be right. Back to the letter…”

Changbin smiled and looked you straight in the eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

“Here, I’ll show you. I will literally go get it, I just had it outside my dorm.”

You went into the hallway and scanned the carpet in front of your door. To make proving any point to Changbin harder, it was gone. It was very much gone. The carpet was devoid of any calligraphed envelopes and romantic notes. Damn, you should have at least taken a picture. You pursed your lips, looking the other way down the hall.

“Hey, Oatmeal.”

Chris. He was approaching his and Changbin’s door with a weird expression on his face.

“Hi,” you said.

“It’s pretty late. Why are you wandering the halls?”

“I… can’t explain.”

“You’re mysterious. Studying on the library steps, majoring in computer science, wandering up and down the hall late at night….”

“What’s the matter with computer science?”

“Mental torture?”

“Fair point. Listen, just get inside the dorm and I’ll explain. I was just… well…”

He unlocked the door, raising an eyebrow at you. “You were just…?”

“You found your love letter?” Changbin asked from inside.

Chris opened the door the rest of the way. “My what?”

“Oh, Chris! You won’t believe this.”

“My what, Bin?”

You followed him inside, made eye contact with Changbin who was on the verge of bursting into laughter, and looked sulkily at the floor as he started to chuckle.

“The hell’s goin’ on?”

“I can explain,” you said. “Just give me a chance.”

Changbin recovered and invited Chris to come and sit. “Where’ve you been, Chris?”

He sucked in his teeth, dragging over a chair to imitate his roommate’s position. “I was in the library studying for a Bio quiz on monday. They had to come over and tell me they were closing up.”

“Nerd.”

“Yeah, whatever. At least I’m doing my homework.”

Changbin pressed his lips together, unable to respond.

“So,” you said. “This morning, I was about to leave my dorm and head to the library—”

“Library steps, you mean,” Chris said.

“Oh, don’t start,” you said with an annoyed smile. “I was leaving my dorm when I found something on the ground. An envelope. So I went and I read it, and it was a love letter. And boy it was long—”

“Are you bragging?” Changbin asked.

“No! I just—”

“It sort of sounds like you’re bragging.” Chris said.

Your ears went red and you put the heel of your hands on your forehead to combat the response. “You guys are useless. Let me finish.”

“Fine. Sorry.”

“I’d love to hear more, but I had actually better get to bed,” Chris said. “Keep me updated.”

“Goodnight, Chris.”

“‘Night, pal.”

He bid you both goodnight and disappeared into his dorm. You took the chair he’d pulled out and sat on it like a normal person. “I was going to ask if you sent it. But you’ve made it abundantly clear that it wasn’t you.”

“No. I’d never ask you out like that.”

“Would you ever ask me out?”

“Debatable.”

You paused. “Would Chris?”

Changbin’s face turned serious. “Well, I’m not quite sure. I don’t think that’s his style.”

You eyed his door. “Seemed a bit weird how he just left once he realized what this was about.”

He thought about it, matching your gaze. “Mmm. I think he’s just tired.”

You didn’t know whether you wanted it to be Chris. On one hand, it would make a little sense. He knew you well enough in comparison to most of your classmates, and if it wasn’t Changbin… But, no, it would be horrendous to find out it was him. That letter was hardly as glamorous as it aspired to be. You liked to think that Chris was incapable of writing such a monstrosity.

He’d had such a weird expression in the hallway. Did you dare suspect him of being the author, of being the one to take it?

“Either way. I guess I’m going on a date tomorrow.”

“I thought you said it was a—”

“That’s why I want you to come. Just show up, after, like, half an hour. If I’m being stood up, we can have coffee together and laugh at the person who wrote it for being a coward.”

He thought about this. “Fine. 8:30?”

You got up, flashing him a thumbs-up. “Just know that if nobody shows up I’m going to keep suspecting you and Chris.”

“Chill. I really, really don’t think that’s the case.”

He sounded almost too certain. As you approached the door, you looked back at him. “Chris doesn’t have a — a love interest of his own, does he?”

“Nah. He’s the king letting people down gently.”

“That’s a wonderful trait. We should all be more like Chris.”

“Are you excited?” Changbin asked you.

“Why would I be excited?”

“First date in, like, a year.”

You sighed. “Oh, shut up. No.”

“I’m curious, though.”

You turned the doorknob. “Yeah. Me too.”

—

You had somehow managed to forget about it by the next morning, so the little paper reading “See you tonight!” with a smiley face drawn at the end was a very effective jumpscare. You knew in that moment, peering into the eyes of the crude expression, that you were doomed to have concentration issues for the rest of the day.

Minutes crawled past, probably due to both anticipation and dread. You were useless; you were cursed. What was the purpose of love letters, anyways? Why couldn’t people just say how they felt to each other’s faces? But then… you were hardly one to talk.

You couldn’t get Chris’s face out of your head all day. Either he knew something, he was the something, or your imagination was far too active. One thing you were sure of, though, was that you really didn’t have the time to think about it. Piles of assignments were due Monday, and a group project Wednesday.

Oh, you hadn’t thought of that. What if it was someone from your group?

But after quick deliberation, you were pretty sure the guy in your group, Minho, was dating someone. You even asked him to make sure, and he confirmed a steady five-week relationship. The girls in the group didn’t swing the right way. Besides, it was unlikely that a Computer Science Major would have anything to do with this.

What if it was Chris?

The question kept coming back. You finally came to a conclusion that such images that were floating into your head at the prospect needed to be shut down properly, so in any case, you would have to give him an opportunity to “let you down gently” to save yourself to heartache later on. This could not continue. And you needed to be able to go to the coffee shop without sweating out your very being. 

You traveled to the coffee shop at 7:45. It wasn’t that you were afraid of being late. You were afraid of being alone with your own thoughts for those last fifteen minutes.

When you got the Java Day, you did the biggest double take of your life.

No, this wasn’t right. He only worked three days a week!

Did you know this for sure? It’s not like you’d ever gone here at eight o’clock on a Saturday, so…

Whatever the case was, there was no doubt that Chris was standing behind the counter in a fairly empty coffee shop and he was waving at you as you stepped through the door. This did not make sense, and you could feel yourself malfunctioning and forgetting how to walk.

“Chris?”

“Yes?” he said. 

You made your way to the counter, unable to form any sentences. 

“You know, you shouldn’t drink caffeine late at night.” He looked at you earnestly. “Cramming for something?”

“No, I’m…” You paused, squinting at him. “Yeah. Got a lot of work to do.”

“Gotcha. What’ll it be, then?”

“Espresso, please.”

“You're crazy. Two ninety.”

He didn't know. Thank the heavens, he had no clue what was going on. He thought you were cramming.

Honestly, you should be cramming. A different kind of horror set in, though, realizing that Christopher Bang was going to have a front row seat to whatever would be going down.

You embraced it, taking the window seat closest to the counter. On one hand, yeah, he might witness some things you wished he wouldn't. But on the other, the whole situation was making you nervous and rather alright with sitting closer to someone who wasn't writing you creepy letters.

Chris set your espresso in front of you. “You alright? You look kinda spaced out.”

You nodded. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just dreading the work I’ve gotta do tonight.”

Chris leaned on the counter, tilting his head. “Do you study with anyone?”

“Nope. In case you haven’t figured it out, Changbin’s study habits aren’t exactly…”

“Consistent. Yeah.”

“So I just do it by myself.”

“I hope you don’t plan to go and sit on the steps in the dark.”

You sipped the espresso, making a bit of a scowl at the potency. “No. It’s not busy enough at night.”

“Oh, I see. You like blending in.”

He got it. “Yeah. For some reason, actually being inside the library sure doesn’t do that for me.”

“Almost too quiet, eh?”

“Almost?” you said. “It’s deafening.”

“Well, um…” Chris glanced at the door for a second. He seemed almost… shy. What the hell? “If you need someone to, you know. Help you feel less alone while you’re studying. I can help you out. I’ve got stacks of notes to write up, I wouldn’t be distracting…” He held his palms up and his fingers danced, almost like a tiny jazz hands gesture. “I mean, only if you want.”

You were absolutely sure now that this could not be the same person who wrote the sentence “I am very, very interested in you” and certainly not the kind to make a suggestive comment about the silence in your dorm. All the same, he was inviting you, rather shyly, to hang out. To study together. Did he ask just anyone to study with him? And this was all three— no, two minutes from when you were supposed to meet someone confessing their love for you.

The answer you would give him was obvious.

But before you had the chance, you heard the Java Day’s entrance bell. Was this it? You wouldn’t dare look away from Chris, you could feel panic rising in your chest. It would be half an hour still before Changbin showed up. You should have told him to just come with you in the first place, really.

Chris looked away from you at the new customer.

“Chrisssss!”

You felt your panic sink back to where it came from, replaced by a sort of uncomfortable disgust.

“Hi?”

“Heyyyy!”

Either this girl was drunk or very, very air-headed. The cafe had been moderately quiet before her grand entrance.

“Do we know each other!”

“Of course we do! It’s me.”

You watched this interaction with interest.

“Who’s ‘me’?” He seemed to be attempting to hold a smile on his face and be friendly, but he was clearly confused.

“You know.”

“I don’t.”

Even you were confused at this point.

“C’monnnn… three-ten!”

You almost shot out of your chair, asserting yourself into the conversation. “Three-ten?!”

The girl eyed you for a moment. Half of her bubbliness dissolved. “Stay out of it, sweetheart.”

Your eyes bugged out of your head.

“I’m sorry, do you want something?”

“Yes, please, Chris.”

No way.

Your attention from the conversation next to you was stolen by the chime ringing again. Changbin spotted you and took the chair across from you. “Where’s the person? It’s 8:10.”

“You’re early. Um…”  You didn’t know what to say.

You looked between him and the conversation happening a few feet away, not sure whether to laugh or cry. You settled on drinking your espresso with a distressed expression. Changbin was watching Chris and the girl.

She was the author. You figured that much out, now. And he was the — he was the intended recipient.

You set down the espresso shot glass, aware your hands were shaking. You covered your mouth with one hand. It was all too much.

You got even the attention of the girl. Really, you hated being the center of attention and so it was hardly on purpose to laugh as loudly as you were. It was ridiculous. You made eye contact with Changbin and he suddenly understood, somehow. He began to chuckle, too, shaking his head.

Chris was watching you two, and then studied the girl carefully. “You were at that party last weekend…” he said. “Right?” Both you and Changbin shut up, shamelessly eavesdropping.

“Yes! And then I asked you for your number, ‘n’ you wouldn’t give it to me, so I… Chris, I didn’t know you worked here. But you’re here. So, do you have an answer?”

You were so tempted to say something. But you were also incredibly interested in how he might respond.

“Remind me your name again?”

“Adilene! I was in your Biology class.”

You and Changbin made eye contact and he mouthed “was.” You made a face of despairing efforts not to laugh. You failed.

“Listen, Chris,” she said, “I’m sorry about the letter. It was a bit of a dare, but I also had no other way to contact you. But do you think…” Adilene looked very obviously at you and Changbin, and you both stared right back at her. “... We could go to your dorm to continue discussing this after your shift? I thought it would be emptier here.”

“This— this late on a Saturday night? I don’t think my roommate would appreciate that,” he said.

“You said you didn’t have any roommates.”

“Did I?” He frowned, and then gasped in realization. “I did. Oh, well, I’m sorry. That wasn’t true. I, um…”

“He says that to reel you in,” Changbin volunteered. “It’s a fun game of his. He likes to pretend I don’t exist.”

“You—huh?”

“That’s… that’s my roommate,” Chris admitted. He looked like he was done with the conversation. While Adilene’s attention was in your direction, you took the opportunity to introduce yourself. You stood up and offered her your hand. 

“Hi,” you said. “I’m their neighbour. One and only resident of three-ten. I got your letter. I really didn’t like the part where you said you had the hots for me.”

Really, it was a fairly innocent letter, although wrong. You felt a bit of sympathy for her. Except, no, you didn’t. You could feel sympathy for her later, right now you were in stitches over her terrified expression.

Chris’s expression was one very large “oh.”

“Your dorm… isn’t three-ten?” Adilene turned to him. She seemed to be receding into herself, somehow. Her overarching “charms” were retracting.

“Nope. Three-twelve.”

The three of you watched her take a whole step back, look at the door, and make a dash for it as if one of you were planning on chasing her. The cafe sat in silence for a few seconds before you and Changbin exploded into laughter. Chris leaned over the counter, head in hands.

“Chris,” Changbin said, catching his breath, “do you want to come over here and explain yourself?”

He made eye contact with you, a bewildered smile on his face, and ran his hand through his hair. “Not sure how much of what just happened I understood, unfortunately.”

“Really?” you interjected. “Not even the part where she said…” You pitched your voice up, “‘Chrisssss’?”

“Is this what goes on at parties when I don’t show? You tell girls I don’t exist and give them the wrong room number?”

“Bin.” He was physically cringing, utter distress on his face. He looked at you and the looked away. You had never seen Chris blush. He looked humiliated.

“I feel like I’m watching you go through the five stages of grief. I think Kubler Ross got ‘em right. Look, here comes anger.”

“Bin, shut up!” he wailed. “I… I just…”

You spoke up. “Why my room number? I’ve been so confused…”

“I didn’t tell anyone my room number!” He pulled his phone out of his apron’s pocket. “Look! She must have seen this… It’s my birthday…” Sure enough, the back of his phone said 0-3-1-0.

You squinted at it. “You sociopath. Why on earth do you use day before month?”

“Because it matches my room number. You know. Three-ten, three eleven… Why does it matter, anyways…”

“Why are you so embarrassed?” Changbin asked Chris.

“Because that was uncomfortable! You’d feel the same.”

“However many girls throw themselves at you, and you get embarrassed…” Changbin tsked and shook his head. “Is it because you feel competition with me that you don’t tell girls I’m your roommate?”

He sighed. “You would think that. No, it’s because it usually makes girls wonder what I must have done so wrong that my roommate moved out.”

“What are you implying about living alone?” you asked.

He threw his hands up. “Look, it works.”

“Yeah, on the smart ones,” Changbin pointed out.

The three of you gave Adilene a moment of silence for implicitly not being one of that demographic.

“I have so many questions left,” you said. “Most of them would be directed at her. And most of them, I wouldn’t like to know the answer to.”

“What was in that letter?” Chris asked.

You looked him dead in the eye. “I think it’s better you didn’t know.” You recalled how he acted about it last night, and you had to ask: “How come you didn’t want to know last night?”

He glanced at Changbin and then at the table. “I was just tired.”

“He was jealous, man.”

“I wasn’t!”

“You were.”

“Don’t be weird.”

Chris finally looked you in the eye and you knew Changbin was telling the truth. 

“I saw her last night, I think,” he finally said. “I saw her rounding the corner, and then I saw you in the hall. I could have sworn she giggled at me.”

“That’s why you were…”

But you didn’t have a chance to dwell on it, as someone walked into the cafe. It was Minho, from your group that met earlier over the project.

“Hey, guys. Chris, have you seen my girlfriend? She said she was meeting someone in here — we just had a fight…”

“Who’s your girlfriend?”

“Adilene Kauffer.”

At this, you picked up your espresso and downed the rest of it in one shot.

Chris cleared his throat. “Minho, my friend. I think… I think you should sit down.”

note. ok so that happened. i ummmm. i lost my mind writing this. i was cackling. so i hope you laughed too lmao. lowkey thinking of writing more for this, these four could be pretty chaotic........... anyways. weird writing fanfics for real people. or at all. it’s been like 8 months since i did that. also there are so many loose ends i still haven’t gotten a chance to tie together and realized i cannot do that in a short fic lmao. tagging @aunty-tiger-potato​ for the barista!chan (not that there’s much of that actually happening here).

reblogs are highly appreciated! thank you for reading!

[jeongtothein]

SKZ TEXTS : WHEN YOU SIMP FOR ANOTHER MEMBER

bsf! gen! reader x hyung line !! (platonically)

Got this idea from someone else but i don’t know their @ 😞😞

[dancinglikebutterflywings]

Unexpectedly | Masterlist

Pairing: Jung Wooyoung x Idol!Reader

Featuring: Ateez, Changbin, Yeonjun, Manager Yoon Jun (oc), Kim Haneul (oc), Mangaer In-Su (oc), Eomma Nari (YN's mom - oc)

Genre: fluff, angst, friends to lovers.

Summary: When the company Y/N is signed with announces its closure, she feels as though her career as a soloist is over. So when KQ offers Y/N a contract, she jumps at the chance. Not only does she get to continue doing what she loves but she gets to work alongside Wooyoung, her lifelong best friend again. Unexpectedly, as they spend more time together, she finds her feelings growing more deeply for him.

Warnings: unrequited love, friendly flirting, angst, idiots in love, there maybe some suggestive content (no smut though), minor character death, possessiveness, mentions of stalking, toxic fans, creepy manager. Warnings will be placed at the start of the chapter.

Status: ON HIATUS - currently being rewritten

Updates: I have no date for when I will start posting again

Tag List: Open. To join - leave a comment on this post, send in an ask or fill out my permanent tag list form.

©️ 2024 dancinglikebutterflywings - do not copy, modify and/or repost anywhere.

Introducing Y/N - You don't have to read this.

Prologue

Chapter 01

Chapter 02

Chapter 03

Chapter 04

Chapter 05

Chapter 06

more coming soon

[skzdust]

Happy Father's Day, or:

7 times Chan took care of SKZ and 1 time they took care of him

This fic was a request from @bangchans-peach! I wrote it super fast but I loved the idea and I thought it would be a perfect little fic since it's Father's Day! I hope you enjoy it and I hope you all have had lovely Father's Days, whatever that looks like for you <3

Summary: Pretty much exactly the title :)

Pairing: None, platonic skz

Includes: Fatherly(ish) Chan and tooth-rotting fluff!

Word Count: 900

Taglist: @weirdowithaphone, @caught-in-the-afterglow, @palindrome969, @skzstan12345

Reblogs, likes, comments all appreciated!!! Thank you!!!

Masterlist

----

One:

Jisung lays in bed, messing with his hands and trying to keep his mind on anything but the performance they have coming up. His phone dings with Chan’s tone.

Hey, everything alright? If you need to talk I’m here!

He hums in confusion.

What?

Chan responds in matter of seconds.

Was just listening through a couple of your demos and some of the lyrics were kinda intense, thought I’d check in

Yeah, if you have a minute, I would actually really like to talk

He smiles softly as a notification for Chan’s incoming call pops up on screen. The other members are there for him, too, but Chan can always tell when something’s up.

Two:

“No.” Hyunjin groans, resting his head on the table. “It’s bad.”

“It is not bad, Hyunjin.” Chan pauses the track. “I do think it needs some work, but I don’t think it’s bad.”

“There’s a reason I’m not a part of 3Racha, I’m not good at writing.” Hyunjin forces a laugh for his non-joke.

“That’s not true. Look at me.”

Hyunjin tilts his head sideways. Chan’s horizontal face looks reassuring.

“We’re gonna get this song, alright? We’ll kill it. We always do.”

“Mhm.”

Chan can tell it’s not helping. “Wanna take a break? I’ll get us ice cream.”

Hyunjin perks up. “Ice cream?”

Three:

“Go away.” Minho mumbles into his pillow.

The knock at his door gets louder.

“Go away!”

“I’m coming in.” He can hear the door opening, and feels the mattress dip under the weight of someone sitting by his feet.

He peeks out to see who it is.

Chan is looking at him.

“Was it something with that girl?”

Minho buries his face. “No.”

Chan sighs. “For some strange reason, I don’t believe you.”

“Believe me.”

“C’mon, Minho. Don’t be obstinate.”

Minho loosens his grip on his pillow. “You won’t make fun of me, will you?”

“Only if you deserve it.” He teases.

Minho groans, pushing his head down.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. What’s wrong?”

Four:

Seungmin places his chin on Bang Chan’s shoulder. “Channie, can we do something interesting?”

“We’re learning choreography.” Chan shrugs him off. “That’s interesting!”

“No, it’s not.”

“Shh, Minho might kill you.” He looks at Minho, who’s fixing Jisung’s pose for what might be the thousandth time, judging from the slightly murderous look on his face.

“I wanna do something else.”

Chan somehow always knows just what he means. “You want to play baseball.”

Seungmin nods. “I want to play baseball.”

Chan looks across the room to where Jeongin and Changbin are against the wall, looking entirely too bored, and Seungmin can see the cogs turning in his head. “I think we can recruit a team.”

Five:

“Old man?” Chan raises an eyebrow. “Oh, yes, of course, old man Bang Chan, on his deathbed.”

“Yeah.” Changbin laughs. “Ancient, decrepit Chan.”

“I may be an old man, but I’m your old man.” Chan points to each of them in turn. “And I say video game rights revoked.”

Everyone groans, and Jisung dissolves into giggles.

“But tonight is Mario Kart night!” Changbin whines.

“Nope, you’re the reason I’ve made this rule in the first place, my son.” Chan claps him on the shoulder. “Your brothers only have you to thank.”

“Uh oh, I’d better find a police station, I think I have six assassins on my tail now.”

Six:

“Chaaaaan!” Jeongin slides into the kitchen in sock feet, where Chan is cutting vegetables.

“What?” Chan glances over his shoulder.

“Felix beat me at Mario Kart and now he says he gets to sing my solo at the awards show next week.”

Felix runs into the room, skidding to a stop beside Jeongin. “I won! I do!”

“And you’re coming to me with this… why?” Chan finishes chopping a carrot, scraping it off the cutting board into a pot.

“Because you’re good at talking Felix into sense!”

“Felix… you know you can’t sing the solo.”

“I can!” Felix clears his throat, getting out only the first note of the part before Jeongin elbows him in the stomach and he doubles over with an “oof!”

Chan ignores this. “Besides, you know the publicists would get mad.”

“They would.” Felix grumbles as Jeongin cackles.

Seven:

“Felix!”

Felix turns around, pulling out an earbud. “Hm?”

Chan holds up his phone. “Here, I have a song I need you to listen to. It’s by this American group, The Flaming Lips.”

Felix queues it up. “Okay, this is cool.”

“I thought you might like it. It seemed like a sound you’d like.” Chan returns his phone to his pocket. “And they have more music too, but that one stuck out to me.”

Felix smiles. “I’ll check ‘em out!”

Plus one time they took care of him:

“Can I open my eyes?” Chan asks, holding his arms in front of him like Frankenstein’s creature, feeling around for anything in front of him.

Felix removes the blindfold. “Now.”

Chan opens his eyes as everyone shouts, “Happy Father’s Day!” The dining room has been transformed with streamers, balloons, and a handmade banner, and a cake on the table reads “For Our Old Man Chan!” in messy icing.

It’s all Chan can do to keep from tearing up. “You guys shouldn’t’ve!”

“It’s really the least we can do!” Jeongin smiles from behind the cake. “You’re so good to us, Chan, we’re very lucky to have you!”

Chan smiles, a big, real smile. “I’m the lucky one.”

[rummels]

weight on my shoulders

relationships: platonic Reader & Chan & Changbin word count: ~2300 warnings: none tags: fluff, platonic intimacy, gender neutral reader summary: You're in a weird and uncomfortable headspace, your friends and flatmates Chan and Changbin help you with lots of soft affection and understanding.

read on ao3

You quietly plod into the living room, your feet hidden in thick fluffy socks causing you to sneak up to the couch unnoticed. Your frame is completely concealed by an oversized hoodie that reaches down to the middle of your thighs, tickling the back of your bare legs a bit when you stop a short distance away. You’re not sure if you like the feeling, it feels a bit like tiny zips of static prickle against your skin where the fabric brushes against you just the tiniest bit. It causes you to frown, huffing a tiny breath out of your nose. Everything feels a bit…off. The figure sitting on the couch hadn’t noticed you until now, engrossed in some TV show or movie, but the quiet noise makes the man look over to you.

“Hey,” Chan says softly, a warm smile tugging on his lips.

“I didn’t even notice you coming in. You wanna join me?”

He pats the space next to him in invitation, raising his eyebrows slightly in question and rearranging his position a bit so his legs are not stretched out across the couch. You tilt your head in a curious gesture and nod slightly, shuffling over and plomping yourself into the newly vacated spot, immediately leaning into Chan’s side. It’s not uncommon for you to seek out physical contact with your best friend and flatmate, the both of you sharing and enjoying skinship in a very loving yet platonic way.

It’s quiet for several minutes, Chan again taken in by whatever is shown on TV. You couldn’t care less, your brain going both zero and a thousand miles per minute, leaving you feeling a little overwhelmed and disoriented, not really knowing what to do with yourself while thoughts zip around in your head without you really being able to grab onto a single one of them. Chan’s hand unconsciously wanders across the back of the couch to you, his fingertips starting to slowly comb through the hair at your neck. You let out a low hum and close your eyes. This is nice. Somehow grounding. Just the tiniest bit, you push your head against the touch to encourage it and let Chan know to not stop his ministrations. He looks over to you again.

“Are you okay?” He looks a bit concerned. Usually you’re much more talkative, especially after a long day at work, wanting to share whatever annoyed or excited you that day or simply let out your annoyance about some frustrating project or other. Your brain rambles at you from the moment you wake up and simply letting your thoughts out and sharing them is often very relaxing to you, especially when you don’t have to be worried about being written off as an annoying chatterbox. Which you never have to worry about with Chan. Never had to, actually. So your continued silence is definitely raising some worries in your attentive friend.

You look at him, obviously giving the answer some thought before you scrunch your nose up and nod-shake your head in a definitely a little weird display of uncertainty. Immediately, Chan tunes in on you more, his whole body angling towards you a bit more while he studies your face.

“Did something happen?”

You shake your head no.

“Are you having a bad day?”

You shake your head again.

“Hm…are you getting sick?”

Again, a definite no, you shake your head.

“So simply a bad day maybe?”

You begin to negate that too when he hastily adds “You know that would be okay too, yeah? You can have a bad day without any reason and it’s still okay and valid. Some days are just fucked.”

A small grin sneaks onto your face, knowing he is about to quote one of those silly motivational Tiktoks you both send each other sometimes. He grins back, relieved at seeing your reaction.

“And there’s no way to unfuck them. Try again tomorrow,” he says and can’t stop himself from giggling a bit before ruffling your hair affectionately. You clear your throat, it feeling a bit scratchy after actually being silent for quite some time – you hadn’t even consciously realized that until now.

“Don’t worry, I’m not feeling bad, I’m just –“ You try to find the right words, frowning a bit, “-off? I don’t know,” you trail off, hoping he might understand. You yourself are not even able to understand it but Chan is smart, he gets people. And maybe he understands. Even if not, you know you don’t have to worry, he will simply accept it and will not try to force something out of you just for the sake of his own peace of mind.

You are proven right when he softly nods his head, his eyes deep in thought until he snaps back to you and gifts you one of his blinding smiles. “Come here, babygirl,” he says while pulling you over and manhandling you into a cuddling position against his side, halfway in his lap, his hands again finding themselves in your hair again. You make a little squawking noise at the pet name but your weird aversion to speaking right now is definitely not helping your protest. Factor in that Chan knows how much you actually secretly like the term of endearment? You’ve got no ground to stand on. The voices in your head have just started to discuss if this is something to be happy or disgruntled about when you feel his fingernails scratch against your scalp and you think you could start purring like a fucking cat any second now. Fuck this. There’s no snark left in you right now to defend yourself and you actually start to feel a tiny bit more like yourself so why bother?

Chan goes back to watching his show while holding you against himself, switching between softly combing through your hair with his fingers and giving you head scritches. You feel weirdly small, which seems a bit ridiculous to you considering you’re actually exactly the same height as him and also not exactly small in any other way. But it’s so nice, you melt more and more into him, your eyes drifting shut every now and then until your weird brain swirls manage to drag you up again.

By the time the front door opens and closes again, it has turned dark outside and Chan perks up, looking over the back of the couch towards the hallway.

“YA!” A shout echoes through the apartment, announcing the arrival of Changbin as he throws his backpack somewhere into the hallway.

You flinch at the sudden noise, also moving your head a bit but Chan suddenly has a rather firm grip in your hair and keeps you in place. Eyes widening, you feel like your pulse is suddenly going down in a very relaxing way. What the hell? The effect is too nice to fight against though, so you decide to go with it and stay where you are. Maybe Chan really does know best. Your own brain definitely doesn’t feel like it’s able to deal with any responsibilities and decisions right now.

“Tone it down, Binnie.” Chan’s voice vibrates against the side of your face. Huh, when did you slide all the way over to rest your face against his chest? You instinctively try to perk up again in surprise, you’ve also started to develop a bit of crick in the upper part of your back from the position you were in. This time Chan lets you but keeps his hand at the back of your neck which you are weirdly thankful for. Changbin chooses that moment to stick his head into the room and, seeing the two of you cuddled up on the couch, wiggles his eyebrows in a suggestive manner while smirking like the little gremlin he sometimes tends to be.

“You’re trying to win them over while I’m not home? Unfair business, Christopher,” he playfully scolds Chan and again you manage to smile. Yay, an emotion!

The two of them like to put up a whole charade of pretending to heroically and dramatically trying to win your heart over, each trying to ‘win’ against the other. All three of you are very much aware of the fact that this is all a game. You love them both to bits, would probably gladly cut off your own hand for them if the situation demanded it. But you’re also all very safe in the knowledge that nothing sexual would ever come into your relationship. Between you preaching about open and honest communication, Chan’s will to provide and care and give love and Changbin’s absolute lack of any kind of shame or reservations when it comes to feelings and affection, the three of you have created a very nurturing and loving environment in your shared apartment.

Chan’s chuckle is audible next to you before he speaks. “No wooing today, I’m just trying to cuddle y/n’s brain into submission because we’re feeling a bit weird today,” he explains, his thumb rubbing small circles into the soft skin under your ear while his hand lays on your neck.

“Oh no, do we have a scrambled brain today?” Changbin sits down next to you on the couch and leans closer, peering into your face like it may just give him all the answers on its own. You nod and pull a frowny face.

“They don’t like to talk right now.” Chan lets you out of his arms as you reach over for Changbin, going to lean your forehead against his big shoulder. But he reaches down and cups your face in his hands, holding it and looking at you while obviously thinking something over.

“Can I try something?” he ends up asking. “It might help but you need to tell me if you feel uncomfortable with it today, you know I will not be mad if you do, right?”

Having no clue which brilliant idea he has cooked up underneath those fluffy curls, you nod your head in agreement. You don’t need to worry, that much you definitely know.

Changbin hurries to shoo Chan off the couch and pushes you down with sure hands until you’re fully laying down. You only manage to look up at him for a couple of seconds before he is once again pulling and pushing at you until you end up on your stomach. He also tugs at your hoodie a bit until it doesn’t form any big creases against your body anymore and then you feel a warm hand at the small of your back.

“I will lay down on top of you now, is that okay?”, he asks softly and you feel a flutter of excitement in your chest. Yes. That would be perfect actually. Suddenly the fact that he’s not already settled on top of you seems almost cruel to you and you wiggle around a bit, nodding your head in clear agreement and permission.

He can’t help but poke your butt – of course he can’t – before crawling over you and then slowly letting all of his weight push down against you. You let out a small grunt of contentment, the air getting pushed out of your lungs and you feel like your bones turn into liquid. Perfect. This is exactly what you needed. Like putting on 3D glasses in the cinema, two separate yet connected, overlayered parts of yourself seem to finally slot together and begin to form a coherent version of yourself again. Changbin moves around a tiny bit still, finding the perfect spot and position to rest in while you turn your head to the side, peering into the dimly lit living room, your eyelids fluttering a bit.

Chan moves into your field of vision and crouches down to be at eye level with you. He’s got his signature ‘proud loving parent’ smile on and usually you would tease him for it – to hide how much you absolutely love get looked at like that – but right now it’s perfect for your mushy brain. He reaches out and tugs a bit on your hood.

“Would you like to put that on?”

You feel even less like talking right now, your body and mind almost like molasses. It’s a sweet, heady feeling and you smile, blinking slowly once and hoping he understands. He cocks his head to the side and raises an amused eyebrow.

“Is that a yes?”

You give a slow long blink again, probably smiling like an idiot. He chuckles and reaches over, slipping your hood over your head and arranging it in a way that makes you peek out of it like a little ferret out of its den. The fact that they know you so well, aware that you like to have your hearing muffled sometimes, feeling safe inside your hoodie, makes you so happy that you give another slow blink while contently scrunching up your nose with a smile. Chan boops it with his finger and stands up.

“You okay down there?”, you hear Changbin checking in from somewhere on top of you and you give a tiny wiggle so as to not accidentally throw him off of you but still answer his question ….somehow.

“Perfect. Just let me know when I should get up again, please don’t just yeet me off when it gets to be too much, alright?”

You wiggle again, completely settling in now and closing your eyes. Your head is not quiet, it never is when you’re awake. But right now there’s only a soft song buzzing in the back of your mind – you probably heard it somewhere on your way home – while you think about the new movie that’s running in the cinemas and you wanted to go to with both Chan and Changbin, your mind switching over to remember the time you all went to Changbin’s problematic cousin’s birthday party last month to crash it as a fake throuple, nearly sending the whole conservative side of his family into a collapse. Also there’s this brownie recipe Felix shared with you, maybe you’re gonna try that out tomorrow…

[jungkookslipring]

Heyy can I request a lee seungmin ler skz fic plsss. I'm a huge fan of your works!! They always manage to draw me in and I feel like I'm right there with the characters!! Love you!!!💖💖💖

Seungmin is our favorite Comedian

AHHHHH you're so sweet thank you!! plz enjoy!

Lee! Seungmin

Ler! SKZ

Seungmin woke up and chose ✨violence✨. The boys were in another interview where they were filming a Besties on Besties video for Seventeen. Seungmin came for everyone and their mamas in this interview, leaving everyone laughing.

“Bang Chan is so old”

“Changbin is so good at nothing”

“Hyunjin loves Felix”

Respectfully everyone started coming at each other’s throats and continued making everyone belly laugh, but Seungmin seemed to have the most comebacks.

‘this kids gonna get it,’ thought Bang Chan. And get it he did.

They all decided to hang out in the vocal/dance racha dorm after a long day of interviews, revenge on Bang Chan and Changbin’s mind once everyone’s shoes were off.

“Yah! Kim Seungmin!” shouted Changbin as Seungmin made a b-line towards the hallway. Changbin caught up to him and threw the vocalist over his shoulder, already giggling at what was to come.

“Leave me hehe alone!” Seungmin giggled nervously as Changbin threw him on the couch.

“This is for saying I’m good at nothing!” Changbin squawked but with a huge smirk as he dug his fingers into Seungmin’s sides, already making the younger one cackle.

“I was kiddihehehehehehehe!” He batted off Changbin’s hands as much as he could before the leader had an idea.

“Changbin-ah, hold him down for me, the old man wants to get in on this,” he joked as Changbin immediately did what he was told and grabbed a hold of Seungmin, pulling him onto his lap and pulling his arms behind his back.

“This isn’t fairhahahahaha!”

“Life’s not fair bubs!” Bang Chan said as he poked and prodded Seungmin’s tummy, the younger one kicking out his feet. He felt so weak and so exposed not being able to fight back as Bang Chan went to work on his tummy. He was so adorable so it was impossible to stop.

“Me next!” Hyunjin jumped towards them with Felix right on his side.

“me too!” Said the younger Aussie.

“go right ahead!” Bang Chan laughed as the two dug their fingers into his sides and knees. This made Seungmin go nuts as two ticklish spots on his body were attacked.

“NAHAHAHAHAAHA WHYYYYHAHAHAHAHA!” He screeched as Hyunjin massaged his legs and Felix rapidly squeezed his sides. Seungmin was such a ticklish boy and everyone was cooing at his reaction. After a while they made space for Han to shove his hands right under his underarms. Seungmin’s laugh almost went silent.

“NAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA HANAAAHHHAHAHAHA!” He screamed. He knew it would’ve tickled a lot worse if his arms were stretched out but this position was no better considering Han’s fingers were pretty much stuck in his hollows.

“this is for the reading comment!” He joked as he continued wiggling his fingers.

“I DIDN'T MAHAHAKE THAT COMMENT HAHAHAHAHAHA CHANGBIN HYUNG DIHIHIHIHID!” He exclaimed as he shook his head like a mad man.

“I know but you still laughed Minnie!!” Han laughed along with him as Seungmin’s head fell forward resting on Han’s shoulder as squeaky laughter filled the room.

“Awwww so cute!” Han sang out. Not too long after while Han kept up with his attack, IN had joined and started tickling his neck. Seungmin tried scrunching up his shoulders but Changbin had a death grip on his arms so he was hardly able to move, only able to laugh at the sensations on his neck and pits. Changbin on occasion would hold onto Seungmin with one hand and sneak in a few wiggles to his sides or scratch at his ribs, causing Seungmin to jolt every few minutes while Han kept his attack consistent. Last but certainly not least, Lee Know. It didn’t take long for Seungmin to realize everyone was tickling him simply because Chan and Changbin were, but Lee Know was extremely skilled and he knew he wasn’t going to last long.

“My turn!” Lee Know sang happily as he switched places with Han. Seungmin shook his head with the biggest smile on his face. Poor thing couldn’t stop giggling.

“Nononohohoho you’re bahahahad,” Seungmin giggled when Lee Know kneeled before him.

“You ready, Minnie?” Lee Know asked with the sweetest but most devious smile. Seungmin kept giggling out of nervousness.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Lee Know said right before quickly sticking his hands up Seungmin’s shirt and latching onto his top ribs, eliciting a scream from Seungmin.

“LEE KNOW HYUNHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA” the poor boy screeched and bucked as much as he could but Changbin held him down. Lee Know was laughing along with him as his fingers drilled in between his top rib and armpit, easily tiring out Seungmin.

“YOURE SO BAHAHAHAHAHAD *hic* HYUNHIEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE *hic* IT TICKLES TO MUHUHUHUHCH *hic* I CAHAHAHAHANT *hic* OKAYAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY OKAY UNCLE UNCLE UNCLE” screeched Seungmin before he completely stopped fighting it, letting his body go limp and laughing his ass off. Lee Know was no monster so he slowed down his tickles and rubbed his hand over Seungmin’s bare tummy, attempting to rid the ghost tickles that were probably lingering. Changbin let go of his arms that fell to his sides, sleepy giggles leaving his lips.

“that was the cutest shit ever,” Lee Know said patting Seungmin’s hair. Seungmin fell forward and wrapped his arms around Lee Know who was still sitting on his legs.

“tired..” Seungmin mumbled. Lee Know chuckled and wrapped his arms around his sleepy dongsaeng.

“yeah I think that’s our cue to hit the hay, we’ve had a long day, yeah?” Bang Chan said as he went to grab his shoes. Seungmin made a noise of protest and quietly asked everyone to stay. this kid was too fucking cute.

“okay Minnie we’ll go change first then we’ll come back okay?” Bang Chan said walking up to the three on the couch, planting a kiss on Minnie’s head.

“Bin, do you want me to grab you clothes?” Bang Chan asked as Han and Hyunjin went to put their shoes on. The rapper seemed to be preoccupied with a sleepy pup on his lap.

“yes please, thanks Hyung,” he said scratching his fingers up and down Seungmin’s back in a soothing manner. It didn’t take long for the guys to grab their clothes, because less than an hour later everyone was in an old fashioned SKZ pile in the middle of the living room, basking in the warmth of each other.

Let me know if you like it! my DMs are always open if you have requests!

taglist: @felixmainacc @felixburneracc @myforevermelody143 @dunno-wut-to-do

[tiredoflifelol]

New SKZ work on Ao3! Top Gun au, focusing on “those left behind” and the impact people leave when they die.

Summary:

“Rascal, we need to eject!”

“I know! Shit! I can’t reach it! I’m pinned!”

“RASCAL, STRIKER, eject now!”

“Striker! Eject us now!”

“You’re still pinned!”

“Fuck that! Eject!”

......

“Get the search and rescue out there now!”

*************

Navy Aviator Jisung RASCAL Han could not have predicted the freak accident that caused his death any more than he could predict the effect it would have on not only his chosen brothers and RIO, but the barista at the cafe down the street, an air traffic controller, a boy fresh out of school.

This is a story about the impact our lives have on those we loved, those we barely knew, and those we never met.

This is a story of grief and mourning and loss, but also of joy and love and finding the people you needed all along.

[magnus-draws97]

cause i like you is still one of the best love songs ever written

[spaghettibaseddreams]

What remains of family Hwang part 1

a stray kids fanfiction inspired by the game "What remains of Edith Finch"

Description: Chan is a producer living in Melbourne that's currently suffering from a serious case of writers block. He stumbles upon an antique shop where he finds a journal and a key, these two objects send him off on a trip where he learns the unfortunate history of family Hwang.

(Readers can insert themselves as the character "Jin" who isn't decribed physically and are referred to by they/them pronouns, also I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes that I am bound to make.)

Chan would describe himself as quite a hardworker, he doesn't like procrastinating and wants to get things done days ahead so he doesn't have to worry about them later.

He's also quite good at what he does if he may so humbly add, so why in the name of god can he not come up with this beat? Sure he had started a few times but those were scrapped so fast since they felt so half-assed and Chan knows he can do better than that. The man swears that he can actively feel grey hairs appearing, not that they would be there for long since at this point he is so close to ripping it all off of his scalp.

"All right, enough!" He yells out in defeat, his voice ringing througout the walls of his home studio. He gets up from his shackles in the disguise of a comforting chair and stomps on out of the room, any longer in there and he might just stress cry and once he gets to that point his label can forget about the song.

He decides to have a nice, relaxing walk through the city, breathe in some of that totally fresh air. The sun shines brightly and very unwelcomingly for people whose wardrobe consists of various shades of black like Chans, curse him for thinking that nature would be kind to him. After strolling about for some time it starts to get way to hot to function and Chan is nowhere near his home, in search for his precious a/c he spots an antique shop which he deems good enough for his safe spot.

ringing of a bell sounds throughout the small shop signaling whoever works here that a customer has entered. The place is cluttered with dusty trinkets that vary in sizes, some shiny, some rusty, some a bit cracked and broken, all of them worn out by time.

While it all looks so messy and the dust is starting to tickle chan's nose, in some strange way he finds it comforting. What stories do these objects hold? What were the people that owned them like? How did their things end up here and would they be happy with it?

As he wonders all of this, walking around the shop he locks eyes with a book and a key next to it. Coming closer he reads whats written on the covers, "Hwang Jin".

"That's who the journal belonged to."

Chan jumps at the frail voice coming from behind him, his eyes meet a pair of dark glassy ones. "Hello dear, I'm Jasmir. Me and my husband own this lovely shop, if you need any help or questions please do ask."

The woman smiling up at him is an older lady with wrinkled tan skin and greyed hair covered with a shawl. Chan returns the smile and asks about the journal, "it was given away alongside that key by who we assume is a relative of the author, It's not exactly an antique but we still decided to keep it."

Returning his eyes back at the book he takes it into his hands, draging his thumb along the leather binder and rereading the name of the previous owner before taking a look at the key.

He thinks for a moment before nodding and turning towards Jasmir. "I'd like to buy the journal and the key."

after that transaction he heads home, this might help him with his writers block and even if it doesn't it should still be interesting to read traces of another persons life.

Once inside his home he sits at the sofa secured in his living room, setting the key at the coffee table and opening up the journal.

The first page starts with a dedication: "to my dear little brother Jeongin, remember you're not alone and that the people I've written about in this book are watching over you."

Small doodles can be spotted in the right corner of the page bringing a smile onto Chans face as he continues, flipping onto the next and being met with a family tree spanning throughout the two pages.

"The Hwangs"

Small portraits expand along the branches together with names and years that they were all born and died at, all except the two at the very top.

Jin  1985 - 2007

Jeongin  1990 -

This intrigued Chan, what happened to those two? Jin seems to have a death date but why was it scribbled over? And Jeongin could still be alive and well, how interesting.

Chan was stuck on this page for a while thinking of all the possibilities while also taking in the other family members, some of them died quite young. All of those faces smiling at him, drawn or not started to creep him out a little bit so he went to the next page.

On the right page there was text and on the left a detailed drawing of a big house, it appears as if they just kept building up giving the house an unsafe looking tower. Under the drawing was an adress, prompting Chan to get his laptop and search it.

it came up on google with pictures of the actual house which greatly resembled the drawing found in the journal, with the photos along came news articles on the family that lived there. Yet again he was met with the same family name "Hwang" as if haunting him, his eyes still stuck on the photos of the house.

it's located on French Island and no one currently lives there, last person that did was an old man named Hyunjin in the year 2000. After him it was abandoned, some people want it to be taken down since it's scaring children and tourists and they deem it unsafe, just waiting for it to fall apart.

There are also some other people that want it to stay untouched, claiming that the family which once lived there and the house itself mean a lot to them. While eccentric they were friends, they were welcoming and a big part of the community, without the house it wouldn't be the same and the memories it holds would be teared down as well.

Now a sane person after learning everything he just did would think "neat" and move on, but chan is currently not feeling all too sane and is instead finding milions of excuses as to why is would be a good idea to go there.

Like how he works from home so he doesn't need to worry about missing his work, or how this could possibly ressurect him from his mind numbing writers block.

And so he decides that, yes. He should totaly go to that house and posibly commit breaking and entering… Chan shakes his head at that thought. "it's not breaking and entering, I have the key."

With his head spinning in thought, Chan packs his duffel bag as if he's going on a lovely little camping trip and not losing his mind. Which he's not! Chan is just fine and only doing research on a very unique Korean-Australian family, his parents would be proud of their child for taking interest in something like that if they knew what he was up to. Totally.

And once he's ready, Chan gets behind the wheel of his rustic car and mentally prepares himself for a two and a half hour drive... "This is fine, it's for research." he reasures the angels on his shoulder, before the little demons fully take over.

The end, for now

next chapter

That's it for the first chapter, a bit short I know but they should get longer as we get more into the story. All in all I'm happy with his it came out, I hope you've enjoyed it too.

Also fun fact Christopher is the name of Edith jr's son (Edith is the main character in the game)

[pxssnelke]

growing pains

✧ M, No Archive Warnings Apply ✧ Stray Kids (Band), TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band), Kep1er (Band), ATEEZ (Band)   ✧ Choi Yeonjun/Seo Changbin, Choi Yeonjun & Seo Changbin & Shen Xiaoting ✧ Growing Up, Childhood Friends, Trans Character, Queer Themes, t4t, Character Study, Platonic Kissing, Platonic Relationships, there's like a shit ton of other ships and characters in this because i like to play the game of How Many Idols Can I Mention And How Many People Can I Make Kiss, Minor Choi San/Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang, Minor Choi Yujin (CLC)/Shen Xiaoting, Ballet, Pair Dance, Light Angst, Hair Dyeing ✧ posted 9/2022, 5.4k

Choi Yeonjun is tall and gangly and he wears a pink leotard with a blue skirt. He’s the only boy in the class and he and Xiaoting, a quiet girl from China, are the only ones that are Changbin’s age. And Xiaoting is nice and really, really pretty, but she has been doing ballet for over a year already and will probably leave for the next level of classes soon and Changbin doesn’t really know how to get close to someone cool like that. But Choi Yeonjun is new and he is loud and shameless and he takes up all the space that he stands in. He’s easy to get close to, if only because he approaches Changbin first.

[mikrokosmcs]

EL CHANGLIX ES AMOR, EL CHANGLIX ES VIDA 🥺💜💜💜

porque dios dijo “pongan al australiano que habla ingles, que es un bebito, the vanilla boy con el rappero que no habla ingles, es darks y has te biggest heart” y así dicen las escrituras y así debe ser

[lixie-phoria]

summer sun forever (stray kids comforting their 9th member!reader)

pairing : platonic stray kids x fem!9th member reader

requested : yes

warnings - mentions of blood, description of poor parenting (lmk if i've missed any!)

genre - angst to comfort

jeongin thought it was normal, the way you would sit alone during group discussions giving your input only when asked directly.

seungmin though it was a habit, the way you would immediately pinch yourself if you made a mistake.

felix thought it was out of good nature that you would constantly appreciate his sunshine-like personality and inability to be mad for longer than a few moments.

han thought it was adorable, the way you would cover your smile while laughing at one of his jokes, trying to hold back any laugh that was louder than a giggle.

hyunjin thought it was just your strive for perfection that you would spend hours more than the other boys trying to perfect your choreographies, scared to mess up.

changbin thought it was a personal preference, the way you'd always dress up in lose clothing, rejecting anything that was too fitting.

lee know thought it was impressive, the way you could recognize any member just from his footsteps approaching your room or the way you always left one ear uncovered when using headphones.

but chan knew. or he thought he did, at least. maybe it was brotherly instincts kicking in, but he knew these habits weren't healthy. far from it. it concerned him, but he didn't know how to approach you either.

his concerns were triggered for the first time when you dropped a glass at the dorms, sharp shards scattering everywhere. you didn't notice him rush to help you as he stopped dead in the doorway of the kitchen, watching you pick up the broken pieces with bare hands. he saw the way your hands were trembling and how a particularly tricky piece sliced right through your skin, blood oozing out. you didn't even flinch, sparing the cut a small glance before you went back to cleaning the floor. you didn't bother trying to disinfect it, opting to only run it under the tap and wiping it away with a few tissues. then you crumpled them up, making sure the members wouldn't notice the red on the paper and went about your day as usual. chan waited, patiently, expecting you to bring up the injury to anyone, but you didn't, so he thought maybe it was just a small cut. maybe it was just a small wound, after all.

you would tell them if you were really hurt, right?

the second time chan notices something wrong is when you hit your upper arm at the edge of the table during dinner. it had hurt, that much he knew from the way you yelped and rubbed the sore spot. he had laughed at your clumsiness with the others as you smiled sheepishly, ducking your head and running away to your room to do who knows what. he thought he saw tears in your eyes, but you didn't mention the bruise again, so they all thought you were okay.

but chan's breaking point was when stays themselves noticed something was wrong. he was scrolling through instagram when a particular reel caught his attention. it was of their dance performance, and the fan had zoomed into your figure - specifically your upper arm - and the large reddish blue spot was so strikingly evident it took him three rewatches to make sure it was not an edit. how had any of them missed it? then another reel came up, and it was you wincing slightly as lee know jokingly shook your hand, the same one you had cut while cleaning the glass. and it's like the pieces immediately fall into place.

chan doesn't think twice. before he knows it he's out of his room and walking (more like storming) towards yours, and he doesn't bother knocking. but even then, you had been expecting him, because you're staring at the door with a small smile on your face.

"i heard you coming. is everything ok?"

it's the first time your keen observation skills concern him, but he doesn't answer, instead striding towards you and lifting your arm despite your complaints. when his eyes zero-in on the bruise that you had expertly been concealing, he sees red. he isn't sure why he's angry. it's not your fault. but he is mad, and he couldn't control it.

of course you could see it on his face, and it's like you go into auto pilot mode, snatching your arm back and immediately apologizing, making excuses that fly straight out of his ears. he tries to hold back, he really does, but he can't. and before he can stop, the damage is done.

"don't bother. you clearly don't trust us enough anymore."

in hindsight, that was probably the worst thing chan could have said to you. blaming you would only worsen things, but he's so confused and disappointed in himself. he didn't know what kept you on the edge so often, and it hurt him that you wouldn't open up.

and thus the apparent cold war began.

you weren't mad. no. far from that. you were terrified. you had disappointed chan, the one person who made you feel safe always. the one person you knew you could go to with anything. but you chose not to, and now maybe you never will be able to. and it was like you were a teenager again, crying yourself to sleep every night, cautious of every word you spoke, and jumping at the slightest raised voice.

chan wasn't mad either. he was confused. he was hurt, a little bit. and he regretted the words he had carelessly spat out. it clearly hadn't been the right approach and now it hurt him to see the way you would tense whenever he stepped into the room, not making eye-contact and apologizing profusely to everybody for the smallest mistakes.

he thought giving you space was the best option for now. but in hindsight, that was a terrible decision too. he didn't realize how angry he was coming off as. he didn't know that not just you but all the members thought he was giving you the silent treatment. and for you, that hit too close to home. literally.

"ynnie, do you want some more soup?"

felix is met with a timid yes as he happily pours you another serving. but even his bubbly smile couldn't diffuse the obvious tension in the atmosphere. the other 7 didn't know the details of what had happened. chan knew you would want to tell them yourself if you told them at all, but they knew it was bad. because now you barely smiled and chan always seemed tense.

"and salt?"

again, you only nod, reaching towards the jar he was offering, when it happens. all of a sudden. jeongin's arm brushes yours, and as his elbow pushes into your bruise, you yelp, the lid falling to the floor with a loud shattering sound.

the silence that follows immediately after is loud, and everyone notices the way you go completely still. unnaturally still, as though waiting for someone to yell at you. lee know recovers first, and as he bends down to pick up the fallen object, you flinch, and their hearts collectively shatter.

what was the matter with you lately?

before they know it, you're gulping the steaming hot soup down, hurriedly apologizing and making a bee line for your room. but this time, everyone can see the tears brimming your waterline.

nobody gets up, but nobody eats anymore either. the silence only intensifies until chan groans, burring his face in his hands.

"hey lix, you mind checking up on her? i don't think she's doing very well."

the blonde boy doesn't need to be told twice. he's making his way towards your room and when he enters, the floor slides from beneath him. you're curled up in your bed, trying to muffle your sobs that wrack through your body.

when you see him come in, your first instinct is to hide. to not show. but it's too late, because he's rushing towards you, embracing you in the warmest hug. its comforting, in a way you have never felt before, and that only spirals your break down further.

felix doesn't know what to do or say. he doesn't know what happened. he doesn't know what could make you feel better, but it's so incredibly heart breaking the way you curl up into yourself as though trying to reject any help that it brings tears into his own eyes.

it isn't long before the others come following, and when chan sees you it's like a part of him dies. you look so small, so hurt, so breakable. and deep down, he knows this could have been avoided if he'd thought twice before lashing out at you.

"yn."

his voice is soft, and when you notice him you're scrambling out of felix's grasp, and he almost thinks you're trying to get way from him. but then you're throwing yourself into his arms with apologies tumbling out along with your sobs. he tries to calm you down, running a hand through your hair, but you're inconsolable. they have never seen you cry like this before.

"calm down, angel. please. talk to me."

it's the first time chan has spoken to you in more than a week, and you hadn't realized how much you had missed it. how much his silence had been affecting you.

"please don't be mad at me." you whimper as chan guides you sit on your bed, the other 7 hovering around unsure of what to do but concern reflecting in each of their eyes.

"mad? i'm not mad, ynnie. i'm concerned."

his words come as a shock.

he's concerned?

"but i'm crying."

"that's exactly why i'm concerned."

"oh."

you've never heard these words before. you never thought you would. growing up, showing emotions was a big no. crying was almost a taboo. showing emotions was for the weak, as your parents would say. they didn't wish to raise a weak daughter. nobody ever showed you concern. it was either anger or silence.

you've run out of tears, but dry sobs still shake your body every few seconds as chan holds you closer, motioning for the rest to sit down.

"do you want to talk about it?"

you shake your head. no. you were bad at talking about your feelings. they didn't have to know. it's not that important.

"you have to open up at some point, yn."

"i don't want to burden you guys."

"burden us?"

even seungmin, who usually stays expressionless during conflicts, seems appalled.

"yn, your emotions are not a burden."

"that's not what mum used to say."

you didn't mean to say it out loud, but it slips from your mouth and they all seem to have heard it.

chan's grip on you tightens. none of them knew much about your family. you didn't like talking about it. now it was slowly coming to them exactly why this preference could be.

"you can trust us, you know? we want to be there for you."

"i do trust you."

"then why won't you tell us what's wrong."

"don't want to annoy you any further."

the guilt gnaws at chan as felix pulls you away from his grasp, snuggling you into his side.

"yn, i wasn't mad. i was trying to give you space."

"i thought you were ignoring me." and in a smaller voice you reluctantly add "like my parents used to. everytime they were mad."

even han is somewhat misty eyed as felix runs calming circles against your upper arm.

"we would never give you the silent treatment."

"yeah! we love you way too much for that."

"is that why you're so closed off?"

"changbin! you can't just ask her that."

you giggle tiredly, earning a small smile from chan.

"it's alright. i'm glad you asked binnie. i think i'm ready to tell you guys."

they're all attentively waiting, and you shift uncomfortably. you never thought you would have this conversation.

"growing up, my parents didn't encourage me to express myself very much. i wasn't allowed to make mistakes, and if i did, they would give me the silent treatment for days on end. i hated it."

your voice is so small and fragile it breaks their hearts a little more.

"i've gone weeks trying to get my mother to speak to me normally. to act like she cared. but she'd always be so cold, insistent on punishing me for every little thing."

"and-" your voice broke, making hyunjin join felix in smothering you with cuddles.

"take your time, yn."

you hum, closing your eyes to stop the fresh wave of tears.

"and when chan stopped talking to me, i felt terrible. i thought i disappointed him too."

there was no more place, but chan joins the tangle of you, felix, and hyunjin as well, rubbing a soothing hand on your back.

"i'm so sorry i made you feel that way ynnie. i had no idea."

"it's not your fault," you admit, leaning into his chest.

"are we good now?"

"i hope so."

chan lets out that breathy laugh of his which you've grown to love over the years.

"don't ever hide your feelings from us, ynnie. you're a part of us. we don't want to see you hurting."

felix bops your nose as you smile, and it's all so corny and sweet, but it's also exactly what you need.

"now can we please have a movie night?"

"yah! jeongin. give her some time."

"no no, i'd actually love that. please?"

they're all ready to do whatever you want. it warms your heart and you almost cry again. nobody ever did this for you. you learned to think you didn't deserve it.

but here these 8 boys were, scrambling around trying to a build you a pillow fort and searching the shelves for snacks, yelling at each other across the house.

and as you're sitting there, you think that this could be your favorite site. they could be your favorite people. this could be your favorite memory. this feeling of being at home could be your favorite forever.

©lixie-phoria, 2023 taglist : @foxinnie8 @hamburgers101 @starlostlaiba @jiisungllvr (send an ask to be added/removed)

[jungkookslipring]

Lean On Me

Summary: Lee Know is a bit overwhelmed after their long day of promotions. A certain sunshine helps him feel better. (I’m not good with summaries don’t @ me plz😀😅)

Pairings: Lee Know x Felix 🐰 🐤

Genre: Hurt/Comfort ❤️‍🩹

Relationship: platonic 🫶🏽

It was a long day for the SKZ group. Nothing that they weren’t used to, multiple interviews in one day, dance practice at the end of the day, it was a lot, but not something they weren’t used to. Lately it’s been a little crazier. They were getting ready for their Maniac World Tour, which meant promotions, interviews not only in Korea but also in the states and different countries, dance practice, vocal practice, etc etc etc. It was a lot. Even though they were beyond excited to see STAY in person again, it was overwhelming, and Lee Know felt that especially. Finally, they all headed home, back to their respected dorms. Once everyone washed up, Lee Know said a quick goodnight to his dongsaengs and went to his room.

Felix suddenly receives a text from Bang Chan.

Bang Chan:

Hey Lixie could you do me a quick favor? Could you check in on Minho? He didn’t seem like himself at practice.

Felix:

Yeah I can do that! Goodnight hyungie xx

Bang Chan:

Goodnight Lixie xx

Felix walked down the hallway past Jeongin and Seungmin’s rooms, slowly tip toeing up to Minho’s door. He gently knocked on the door before slowly opening the door. The room was dark, indicating that Minho was trying to sleep, but considering he had just gone to his room, he wasn’t out yet. Minho stirred in his bed when he saw Lix standing in the doorway.

“Lixie?” Minho asked uncertain. Felix stepped a little closer.

“Hi hyung,” Felix said, wondering if he should just cut to the chase or make up some excuse as to why he was in Minho’s room all of a sudden.

“Is everything alright?” Minho asks propping himself up on his elbows. Felix smiled. His hyungs always found a way to pull themselves together when they suspected their dongsaengs were in need.

“I’m fine hyung, I just wanted to come in and see if you were alright?” Felix asked as he quietly sat on the bed. The moonlight reflected off of Minho’s eyes that to his dismay have turned glossy. Felix of course notices immediately as Minho tries to blink them away.

“Hyungie…” Felix whispers as Minho sniffs. Felix was quick to get under the covers and pull his Hyung into a hug. Minho was shaking slightly. He tried holding it in but his body failed him when he let out a small whimper as soon as he was situated in his dongsaeng’s arms. Lix knew Minho wouldn’t cry in front of him or anyone else, but you could only keep that act up for so long.

“If you want to talk I’m always here Hyung, always,” Felix whispered into Minho’s ear before the older of the two let out a shaky exhale. Minho nodded and buried further into Felix's neck. The younger’s heart broke more when he felt tears on his skin.

“Shhhh I got you hyungie, I got you,” Felix gently shushed. It took everything in him not to tear up when he heard little hiccups coming from the bundle in his arms. Felix used one hand to rub calming circles into Minho’s back while the other hand carded through his light brown locks. After a while, Minho's shaking and crying had subsided to where he was just sniffling. They laid there for a few minutes before Minho spoke up.

“I’m sorry Yongbokie, you shouldn’t have to take care of your Hyung…” Minho whispered, attempting to get out of Lix’s hug. Felix clung tighter, knowing Minho wanted cuddles but didn’t want to burden the younger.

“You don’t have to apologize for this type of thing Hyung,” Felix said, keeping a firm yet gentle grip on his Hyung.

“I guess I’m just overwhelmed,” Minho whispered into Felix’s neck.

“In a good way or bad way?” Lix asked. Minho shrugged.

“Both? I’m so happy we get to go on tour and see STAY again, but we’ve been swamped with promotions and practice and interviews and everything to prepare for this and while I’m so excited to go see the fans and perform with you all, it’s a lot..” Minho whispered. He hated feeling vulnerable, especially in front of the kids. He had to admit, it did feel good speaking his mind.

“That’s understandable Hyung,” Felix said as he continued rubbing his hyung’s back.

“Thank you for the cuddles Yongbokie,” Minho said, clinging onto his younger Australian a little tighter. Felix kissed his hyungs forehead before planting a kiss on his nose. Lee Know scrunched up his nose before making a kissy face. Felix smiled and planted a quick yet gentle kiss on Lee Know’s lips. The older of the two blushed and hid his face in Lixie’s neck. Felix held him close before whispering

“Would you like me to stay here or would you like your own bed to yourself?” Lee Know snuggled impossibly deeper into Felix’s hold.

“Stay,” he whispered. Felix smiled and kissed his hyung’s head once more.

“Always,” Felix whispered.

[skz-saja]

##SAJA MASTERLIST!

( stray kids 9th member au! )

( ꗃ ) Kim Saja (김사자), born and raised in south shields, england, was born november 2nd, 2002. she is a member of the co-ed k-pop group, Stray Kids.

‣ kim saja . . .

profile ⋄ background ⋄ facts ⋄ likes & dislikes

‣ relationships with . . .

stray kids ⋄ family ⋄ other idols

‣ ships . . .

sajan ⋄ minja ⋄ changja ⋄ hyunja ⋄ jisaja ⋄ sajlix ⋄ sajmin ⋄ sajin

‣ reactions . . .

coming soon!

‣ scenarios . . .

coming soon!

‣ broadcast . . .

skz-code ⋄ one kid’s room ⋄ 2 kids room ⋄ finding stray kids

‣ miscellaneous . . .

fanmade videos ⋄ interviews ⋄ text messages ⋄ instagram

‣ want to read this au’s works in order of release date?

complete masterlist

##note: this au will have very slow updates. my apologies in advanced!

##reminder: all things underlined are links! if a category isn’t underlined, that means there is currently no works under that tag.

© skz-saja

[changbunnies]

Lowkey, I Need You (To Move Out) 18+

♡ Pairing: Changbin x Fem!Reader

♡ Genre: friends with benefits, friends to lovers, roommates to lovers, angst, fluff, smut with plot, mutual pining but especially lots of pining from binnie

♡ Word Count: 12k

♡ Summary: Changbin has a problem– he’s in love with his friend with benefits. And not only is he in love with her, but she’s also his roommate. Torn on what to do, the only thing he knows for certain is that something has to change soon– but is he even brave enough to spark that change, and risk their friendship?

♡ Warnings: miscommunication, but it's resolved quickly!, bin is lil insecure but we're here to make it better !!, gets a bit emotional because truly this is a love letter to changbin and how much i adore him

♡ Smut Warnings: multiple smut scenes, switch!bin with a heavy sub lean, as usual changbin is an extremely soft and perfect lover, pet names (baby, bun, bunny, honey, sweet + good boy), oral (m + f rec), fingering (f rec), nipple play, begging, a tiny bit of edging, spit as lube, cock warming, unprotected piv, creampie, praise kink, body worship, face sitting

♡ Notes: this was written in response to the topic of binnie being excluded, because as a bin biased girlie it's my job to show out for him when he needs the extra love! i've been wanting to write a fwb for SO long and in true changbunnies fashion this turned out longer than i intended it to be but i just had so much fun writing it and giving binnie the attention he deserves, so i hope you enjoy it too !!

♡ Disclaimer: please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately faceclaims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people.

What do you do when you realize you've fallen in love with your friend with benefits? And what do you do when said friend is also your roommate? The conclusion that Changbin has reached is simple: spiral.

Well, not that spiraling is an actual choice in this scenario– he can't stop it from happening despite how desperately he wants to. He knows you aren't looking for a relationship right now, that you like what you have together because it's casual and fun.

You swore off dating apps and relationships after having your heart broken one too many times, and the only reason you're friends with benefits with Changbin is because you trust him– a trust that he is loath to break by dropping the revelation that he's fallen in love with you.

You were away from your shared apartment for the past week and a half, on a trip back to your home town to visit family. It was exhausting, but fun enough when your parents weren't driving you up the wall by pestering you with questions about when you're going to start bringing a boyfriend back home with you, you told Changbin on the phone last night whilst packing to come back to the city.

He hated the way his heart sank to the pit of his stomach when he considered the fact that he'll never be the boyfriend going home with you to meet your family. And he wants to be, fucking hell, does he want to be yours.

He wants to tell you he loves you and have it mean something more than the platonic love between friends, to take you on dates and freely hold your hand when walking through the city streets together, to share a bed with you for more than just a fuck.

How many times has he wanted to pull you back to him when you start to get up from his bed? To reach out and beg you to stay when you start to get dressed? To knock on your door late at night and lay everything out on the line because the way it keeps him up at night is becoming unbearable?

Fuck, he can't keep dwelling on it– you've been on your way home since this morning, and you're due back any minute now. It'll be disastrous for Changbin if you walk through the door and realize something's off with him.

His heart twisted when he checked his phone and saw a new text, one excitedly telling him you're almost home and that you've missed him– but was it really him you missed, or just fucking him? He didn't know anymore, and he was afraid to find out.

Changbin jumps when he hears the lock to the front door click, taking a breath to calm his racing heart as he rises to his feet to help you with your luggage and welcome you back home. 

He’s spent enough time spiraling over what to do this past week, he can’t afford to anymore; not if he wants to keep his sanity intact, anyways. He can do this– once you get settled, he can have a heart to heart with you, and everything will be fine. Even if it’s too much to confess his feelings, surely there’s a way to go about things where you’re both still happy, right?

Changbin did a lot around the apartment to make it perfect for you upon your return– cleaned and dusted every common room until they were spotless, made sure not a single dirty dish was left in the sink, emptied every trash can.. He even unclogged the drains and scrubbed the tub! He just wanted to make sure you didn’t have a single thing to do, that you could just relax and unwind in clean comfort after your trip. 

But you don’t spare a single glance around the apartment once you enter– you look just at him, smiling as you kick the door closed behind you, and drop your luggage to the floor to squeeze him into a hug. 

He blinks a moment in surprise at how quick the action is– he didn’t even have the chance to get a word out before you were on him. Still, he quickly returns the hug while trying his best to prevent the happy, almost relieved sigh you let out as you bury your head into his chest from giving him false hope.

“You really missed me this much?” Changbin asks with a small giggle– why is he even asking? So much for not giving himself false hope. He just blurted it out without thinking, really; but he can’t pretend the way you affirm it doesn’t make his heart swell. 

It was the longest you’d ever been apart from Changbin since moving in together, and it put a lot of things into perspective. Like, you really did miss him, of course you did, he’s your friend! But there was something more– you don’t think you’d ever missed someone so fucking badly before. 

Like, staying up all night because you can’t stop thinking about him type of ‘I miss you.’ Wanting to text him or call him at all hours of the day just to check up on him and ask what he’s been up to even though you’re supposed to be focusing on your family and reuniting with childhood friends.

You missed everything about him– his smile and cute laugh, the way he smells, his big arms wrapped around you and squeezing you close. You wanted to hear his voice again, and not through the grainy speaker of your phone, wanted to see him without your parent’s shitty old wifi connection lagging your call, and making him pixelated and blurry.

Changbin is your home, you realized; wherever he is is where you want to be. As long as he’s there, you’d have everything you need to be happy. Is that too sentimental of a feeling for just friends?

Yes, you know it is– and every time you felt it for him before, you shoved it down as deep you could, not ready to get your heart broken again just yet. Better to hold onto him for as long as you can, before he cuts things off to start dating again.

But of course, you can’t deny you also missed him in other, less than innocent ways. The squeak he lets out when you surprise him with a kiss, the cute way he blushes and giggles when you compliment him or call him his favorite pet name, the way he’ll easily drop to his knees for you the moment you tell him you need him. 

He never cares what he’s in the middle of or what he needs to get done– if you tell him you want him, he’s ready for you, eager to please. Even if he loses sleep, if it makes him late for work, if it means the food on the stove is going to burn– none of it matters if you need his tongue on you. And you’ll reward him, you always do; with sweet words and touches that makes his heart feel like it’s going to beat out of his chest while his cock throbs.

“Missed you more than you know,” you say in a near whisper, pressing your lips to his like you’ve been eager to do since walking through the door. Changbin practically melts when you kiss him, as always; he just can’t help it– he’s forever going to be putty in your hands. 

Was he right in his fear that you only missed him for the sex? Maybe, but he can’t even dwell on the idea anymore– not when the urgency in which you start touching him underneath his shirt while sliding your tongue in his mouth makes him weak at the knees.

Fuck it, maybe that is all you want him for these days, but he’d never stop giving you what you want. Use him over and over, run his heart into the ground when it’s done, what does it matter? At least in this moment he’s yours, even if it’s only temporary. 

You grab Changbin by the waist and turn him around, pressing his back against the front door to the apartment. One of his feet very nearly gets caught up on your luggage on one of his steps back, but you kick it to the side, away from the two of you. His sound of surprise is muffled by your mouth on his, as is his gasp when your hands travel up to squeeze his pecs.

You can feel his body shudder when your thumbs brush over his nipples, letting out a whine when you pinch them between your fingers. He’s breathless by the time you pull away, watching you with that eager look in his eyes that makes you crazy for him. “B-Baby, what are you-” he tries to ask as you fall to your knees, though the last word dies in his throat when you look back up at him with a smile. 

He still remembers the first time he slipped up and called you “baby.” You were on top of him, riding him so good that all he could do was babble on and on about how good it felt while gripping the bed sheets beneath him. “S-So good, oh my god, baby, it’s– you’re so good, feels so good,” he whimpered, whining loudly when you stopped moving to just look at him.

Changbin was going to ask why you stopped, beg you to please, please keep going, but then it hit him all at once– he called you ‘baby’ when it was never something either of you had done before. And instantly, he looked up at you utterly mortified with himself, ready to apologize over and over again for crossing the line in your friends with benefits relationship.

While the arrangement didn’t come with strict rules, such as no kissing for example, he still was concerned that it was a touch too far in the ‘romantic relationship’ direction. But to his surprise, and relief, you smiled at him, calling him sweet names in return after picking your pace back up. You continued to try out names, gauging his reaction carefully until you found the one that seemed to make him react the most.

And now here you are, looking up at him with his cock pulled out of his sweatpants and throbbing in your hands, calling him the name that turns his brain and body to jelly. “Want to show you how badly I missed you, bunny,” you told him before pressing a lingering kiss to his already leaking tip, his pre-cum smearing over your lips.

Thank fucking God you pressed him against the door, because if he didn’t have the support he’s pretty sure his legs would’ve given out. It’s not often that you’re the one on your knees for him, and the sight is so erotic it makes his brain feel like it’s going to melt out of his ears– not to mention the way you’re talking to him on top of it.

“So hard and leaky already,” you comment gleefully, sticking out your tongue to lick over his tip, “you missed me too, didn’t you, bun?” 

“Y-Yeah, missed you, I missed you so much,” Changbin replies breathlessly, struggling to keep his hips still and not rut against your hands. He bites his lip, restraining the whimpers that threaten to endlessly spill when you open your mouth to take him in.

You don’t waste any time getting the corners of your mouth used to the stretch, or for Changbin to get used to the feeling after having gone without it for so long; you take him all at once, until his tip is touching the back of your throat and your nose is pressed against his pelvis. 

His head falls back against the door as he squeezes his eyes shut, slapping his hand over his mouth to muffle the obscenely loud moan you draw out of him. Normally he pays no mind to his volume because he knows you prefer him loud, but he’d be beyond embarrassed if any neighbors walking the hall heard him just on the other side of the door. 

You swallow around his length, and it takes effort to not gag given how thick and heavy he is, but you manage just fine. Breathing through your nose, you stroke his cock with your tongue whenever you need to give your throat a tiny break, sometimes pulling back to take a bigger breath and let more air into your lungs before sucking him into your mouth again. 

Changbin cards his fingers through your hair, but doesn’t pull– just holds your head in an effort to ground himself. His thighs are trembling, and he’s seemingly given up on trying to be quiet, or is simply too far gone to care anymore, the hand he was using to cover his mouth now clenched into a fist at his side.

“W-Wait, wait, baby, please wait, don’t wanna cum yet,” he pleads as his stomach clenches, the twitching and throbbing of his cock growing more in intensity. He’s lifted his head from the door, looking down at you now and meeting your gaze as you blatantly ignore his request and continue to swallow him down your throat.

“Please, please, your pussy– want your pussy, honey, please,” he tries again, chest heaving as he begs, the fingers threaded through your hair now clenching into a fist as well, but still, he doesn’t pull you off him. That’s one of the things you like most about Changbin– he’s so strong that it’d be easy for him to make you do whatever he wants, but he doesn’t. 

Even now, as desperate as he is to be inside your pussy, he’s obedient, first and foremost. How can you resist giving him what he wants when he’s so sweet, perfect and well behaved? You pull off him with a loud ‘pop,’ watching the way his cock throbs pathetically against his stomach as his impending orgasm begins to ebb away.

You expect him to take a longer moment to recover, but even with how breathless he is, he’s leaning down to pick you up from the floor. You can’t help but let out a squeal as you’re lifted from the ground– you know very well that Changbin is strong, but it always surprises you how effortlessly he can lift your weight. Excites you too, if you’re being completely honest. 

He has you in a full princess carry, one arm supporting your back while the other is under your knees. You know he won’t drop you, but you wrap your arms around his neck anyway for the extra security. He shows his appreciation for you with so many kisses over your face that you can’t help but giggle, and he holds you tighter when his kisses cause you to squirm in his grasp.

“Don’t tickle me with kisses when I can’t escape you,” you half-heartedly complain, and he giggles with you, pressing one more to your nose before he starts walking away from the front door. “We’re going to your room,” he informs you, figuring that’s where you’d prefer to me after having been away from home. 

Your luggage lies forgotten on the floor as he makes his way past the open kitchen and living room, and into the hallway leading to your rooms. Standing in front of your door, you lean in his grasp to twist the door knob, and he gently nudges the door open further with his foot. Your bedroom is just how you left it a week and a half ago, and Changbin sets you down on your bed carefully.

“Are you going to undress yourself for me?” you ask with an expectant tilt of your head, and he blushes ever so slightly as he shyly giggles and nods. It never fails to make him a little shy when you watch him undress like this, but he also takes pride in the way you look at him. Hungry, but somehow still tender and sweet. 

He starts with his sweatpants and underwear, considering his cock is still out from when you pulled them down just enough to get it out. Kicking his feet out once they’ve fallen to the floor, his shirt is next, and he very quickly pulls it up and over his head. “My baby,” you coo at him after beckoning him closer, and it makes his head spin. 

It’s the first time you’ve used a possessive term with him. Your baby.. Yes, whether you know it or not, he’s yours. Only yours. 

“You’re so handsome, you know that?” you continue, smiling when the pink on his flushed cheeks deepens, “And sexy, and adorable, and lovable.” You love complimenting him– even before you were friends with benefits, you’d tell him sweet things whenever you could. It took him a long time to grow into himself and get comfortable and confident in his own skin, and he deserves the pride and joy he feels now. 

Lovable is a new one, and he tries not to let it root itself inside his head– you certainly do love him, but just as a friend, he knows it. You’ve always been sweet to him, and he’s certain that your doting on him and sweet gestures increased only because of the slight change in your relationship, and no other reason. 

Regardless, does the reason matter? You’re complimenting him earnestly, and that’s enough. Even if it’s said without romantic intent, you do mean it– and that’s all he needs, really.

“Help me out with my own clothes now, won’t you, sweet boy?” you ask, and he gives you an excited nod that makes you giggle again. You lift your back off the bed so he can help you with your top and bra, then lift your legs so he can help you out of your pants and underwear when you let your back fall against the bed again. 

He kisses you the entire time he’s getting you out of your clothes, only breaking away when he has to. “Gonna get you ready for me,” he breathes out near the shell of your ear before planting a kiss there, and then trailing them down your neck. He slides his hand between your legs as he does, and you spread them apart for him to make his task easier for him. 

You both know you can handle the sting from his cock stretching you out, sometimes you even crave it– but you can never deny his desire to be sweet to you. If he wants to stretch you out on his fingers first, you’ll let him do it every time. 

“Oh, honey, you’re so wet,” he gasps as he runs his fingers between your folds. It shouldn’t be much of a surprise, really– you always get soaking wet when you and Changbin are being intimate. Still, it always surprises him as much as it did your first time together; he supposes there’s a part of him that still can’t believe you’re this physically attracted to him, even with how much you shower him with compliments. 

Of course, if you knew he had that thought, you’d shower him with even more of them, until there wasn’t a single doubt left in his mind. He’s perfect, truly; there’ll never be anyone who can compare to Changbin.

You don’t need him to start slow or careful, but he does regardless, starting by pressing just one of his fingers to your hole before sliding it inside. He knows you can take more at once, would even enjoy the sting that would follow, but he wants to be good to you! When you’re full of him, so thick that you’re full to the point it’s almost too much, he wants it to be pure bliss. 

Changbin pumps his finger in and out of you slowly, waiting until he’s certain you’re about to start whining for more before adding a second, and after just a little more he’s adding a third. He keeps his fingers still for just a moment, making sure you’re well adjusted before he starts to thrust them in and out in the way he knows you love.

And God, even though it’s you that’s getting fucked right now, he feels like he’s going a little crazy. He’s so addicted to the noises you make, the way your breathing starts to hitch and turn more shallow, how your eyes roll back when he hits that gummy spot inside you. You’re so fucking slick, and squeezing his fingers so tight that he can barely even think straight– not that he was entirely to begin with. 

Is it just because it’s been over a week since the last time you were together? He never thought himself so insatiable or easily worked up, but fuck, you just unlock something in him. He’s had sex plenty of times before you started sleeping together, had plenty of fun experiences with different partners, but only you make me feel so.. needy.

“Binnie, baby, want your cock now, give it to me, please,” you whine, voice impossibly pretty and breathless. “Ah but– are you sure, baby? Don’t want me to make you cum first?” he asks as he slows down the motion of his fingers. 

“We’ve both waited long enough, haven’t we?” you ask, rhetorical; it’s much more a statement than a question. You look at his cock, still leaking steadily and impossibly hard, and then look back to Changbin’s face. “Let’s cum together. That’s what I want,” you tell him, and you can’t help but notice the way his cock twitches from your words in your peripheral. 

Of course, he can’t resist doing whatever you want– especially not when there’s a promise to cum together at the end. So he slips his fingers out of you, and before he can even ask what you’d like him to do, you’re putting your hands on his shoulders and guiding him to his back. 

He falls to his back easily, swallowing as he watches you crawl on top of him. You’ve done it countless times at this point, but it never stops being sexy and exciting to watch. Your hands planted firmly on his chest, and your legs straddling his body, you move your hips back and forth, rubbing your pussy up and down his length to get it wet. 

His tip rubbing against your clit feels so fucking good too, but that’s not why you’re doing this; so you quickly move on before you get carried away and end up grinding on him until you cum. Reaching your hand between your bodies, you grab his cock at the base and angle it where you need it. 

Changbin watches with eager eyes and bated breath, his hands holding your hips for extra support. Even when you start to slowly sink down on him, and you’re both gasping and breathless from the pleasure, he’s careful to not squeeze you too hard. He’s always so tender and careful, even when doesn’t need to be, and you love him for it. 

And true to what he hoped, there’s no sting when you’re fully sat on him, the stretch nothing but pleasurable for you. Because of this, it also means you don’t have to start slow– and so within just a few short moments, you’re bouncing on him rapidly, leaning down to kiss him as you do. 

He has long since stopped being embarrassed about the noises you draw out of him, whimpering and moaning freely as the pleasure seeps into every pore of his body. Your tongue once again slips its way into his mouth, and he meets it eagerly with his own, happy to slide it around yours. 

Bouncing on his cock, and kissing him like this, he can’t help but be reminded of the very first time you slept together. You had just freshly agreed to the friends with benefits arrangement, both of you lonely and in need of some intimacy, but being done with relationships for the time for your own reasons. 

You took the lead, and it was the first time anyone ever had– he was so used to being the macho man in charge for his lovers, that he found it interesting and exciting that you wanted to be the one in control. You told him what to do, how to do it, praised him and guided him along, had him lay down while you crawled on top and did all the work for him after you were ready to take his cock.

And to his surprise, he instantly liked it– loved it, even. He never considered before then letting someone else have the leading role in bed, but after you started, it just felt natural. And when you leaned down and kissed him in that moment, when everything was so different for him and exciting, it felt like everything shifted, like the entire world titled on its axis. 

Maybe he’s been in love with you since then, but only fully realized what he felt recently. Maybe he’s been in love since even further before, but didn’t have the tools then to put that feeling together, because the line between friend and lover can sometimes be blurry. Maybe he’s been a fool this entire time, and continues to be one now– because he knows what he feels now for certain, but is still too scared to admit it to you. 

He’s thankful that your tongue in his mouth prevents him from speaking– because he’s certain if it wasn’t, he’d end up saying something he shouldn’t. It doesn’t stop him from having the thoughts internally, however.

“You’re so perfect, I love you, I love you so much, I need you, need you to need me, love you,” his brain is screaming as his orgasm approaches once more. The noises leaving him growing more in volume and desperation is enough of a warning for you on its own that he’s close, but you can feel him throbbing too, eager for release after how close he was to cumming earlier.

You reach your hand between your bodies once more, this time to rub your clit with your fingers. It makes your pace falter a bit, but Changbin is more than used to helping you in the last stretch like this. He helps you keep your pace with his hands, and thrusts up into you in time with the fall of your hips onto his.

“C-Cumming, oh, bunny, you’re making me cum,” you whimper, biting your lip and furrowing your brow as the circles you draw on your clit grow messy. You gasp when your orgasm hits you, your breath catching in your throat as your mouth hangs open in a silent cry. Changbin was already close, and the way you squeeze around him as you cum unravels him too. 

His cum shoots inside you, hot and sticky, his entire body trembling as he whimpers and whines beneath you. He’s not sure when he closed his eyes, but when he opens them he sees you looking down at him with such a beautiful smile that he truly feels like he died and went to heaven– because fuck, you’re an angel. 

Changbin reaches a hand up, tucks your messy, fallen strands of hair behind your ears, smiling when you coo and call him a “sweet boy,” again. You let your body fall against his chest, resting your head in the crook of his neck as you close your eyes and let out a content sigh. “Baby?” he questions, giggling a little when you mumble about being tired against his skin. 

“We have to get you cleaned up,” he reminds you, though the way he strokes your back surely doesn’t give you any motivation to get off him. “And you need to go to the bathroom before you fall asleep!” he adds, and you hum an acknowledgment, but still make no effort to crawl off him. Instead, your body relaxes even further, and soon enough you’re not even responding to him talking to you anymore.

You’ve fallen asleep much quicker than Changbin would’ve ever expected; he’s sure you’re tired from the days you spent away and the trip back home, and the fact that you fucked him immediately upon getting home likely didn’t do you any favors in keeping the fatigue at bay.

But he’s still here in your bed, beneath you, your body warm and soft and entirely limp as serene snores leave you. He’s not sure if he should try to wiggle his way out from under you, or just stay like this and sleep together. He knows what he wants to do, but.. he’s never spent an entire night in your room, nor have you done so in his.

And all he can think about while he looks up at your ceiling with you in his arms is how much he loves you but can’t tell you.

Fuck. What does he do now?

It’s been days since Changbin has had the chance to speak with you, but whether or not that’s entirely a good thing remains to be seen– because even with the distance to sort himself out, his mind remains addled and plagued by the desire to be with you as a lover. 

Thankfully, you haven’t noticed anything off with him– mostly because the distance since arriving back home was due to your own need to catch up on sleep, unpack your belongings, and get ready to go back to work and resume life as usual. Whenever you’re not sleeping, you’re busy, and that works for Changbin– or it was supposed to, anyways.

All he’s done the last few days is get back into his spiral. Confess his feelings or not, risk your friendship or keep everything to himself, move out before he loses his mind or stay until the day you decide you’re done.. He wishes there was a simple, easy answer. More than that, he wishes he could guarantee that you’d stay with him if he laid his feelings bare for you.

And he misses you. You’re only a room away across the hall, but he misses you. And he doesn’t fucking know what to do with himself anymore. He’s been trying to sleep for hours now, but all he can do is toss and turn and think about you, how bad he needs you– not just emotionally, but physically too. Because the moment he started thinking about you, it was only a matter of time before he began to reminisce about the sex you’ve had. 

Is his brain fucking against him, or what? As if it wasn’t bad enough he was in a spiral over the possibility of you rejecting his feelings, now he can’t stop thinking about how pretty you looked after your shower this morning. He only saw you in passing, as he had to head out for work and you had to get back to catching up on the work emails that piled up in your inbox while you were away, but God..

If it wasn’t for the fact that you really needed to get your work done before going back to the office when the weekend’s over, he would’ve dropped to his knees right there in the middle of the hallway and eaten you out until you were begging him to stop (or forcing him to by pulling his hair.) He wouldn’t even have cared about his own job– Chan would forgive him, he always did.

And truly, this is agony. Worse than agony, it’s torture. He needs to go take a cold shower and calm the fuck down so he can start thinking rationally again– as rationally as he can manage to in his lovesick state, anyways. With a heavy sigh, he throws his blankets off himself and reaches for his glasses on his nightstand. After putting them on, he rises from his bed, hoping the shower will be enough of a reset to let him get some sleep.

Opening his door, he’s surprised to see you’re awake. Well, he can’t see you just yet from the hallway, but he can see that the lamp in the living room is turned on, and can faintly hear the tv playing lofi focus music. And even though he probably shouldn’t, he can’t resist walking over to check in on you. 

He can hear you typing away on your laptop as he gets closer, and you look away from the screen and turn your head in his direction when you hear his footsteps over the softly playing music. “Oh, Binnie!” you smile at him, and it’s so genuine it makes his heart flutter. He’s so fucking screwed. “Couldn’t sleep?” you ask him, taking a small break from responding to emails to give him your attention.

“O-Oh, yeah, well I was trying to sleep, but..” he trails off when he sees you glancing down his body, to the painfully obvious erection straining against his shorts. “Had a problem?” you finish for him, and his face instantly flushes red. It’s not like it’s the first time you’ve caught him with an erection, but it always makes him feel so perverted when it happens this way. 

“I can help you,” you offer, shooting him that pretty smirk that always turns him into jello. Fuck, you’re a siren, and he’s helpless to resist you. But still, aren’t you busy? As much as he’s willing to fuck up his own work performance for you, he’d feel terrible if his neediness made your own work harder for you. 

“I-I was going to shower and take care of it myself, but I saw you were awake and I just wanted to see what you were doing and.. Anyways, you don’t have to! Seriously, I know you’re busy! It’s okay, I don’t-” he babbles, and you giggle at him. He’s just so cute, especially when he’s trying his best to be considerate to you. 

“C’mere. I can’t help you right this minute but good boys like you know how to be patient, right? You can sit pretty here until I’m done with my emails?” you ask, patting the spot next to you on the sofa. Shit, you always know just what to say to him. 

He listens to your siren song, coming to where you beckon him to sit like the obedient boy you know him to be. “Take your cock out for me, baby,” you instruct, and again he listens, not a single ounce of hesitance as he slides his shorts down enough for his erection to spring free. He watches as you set your laptop on the coffee table and stand up, curious as to what you’re doing.

Changbin gulps when you slide your own shorts down your legs, as well as your panties, and fuck, he’s excited, but more than that he’s confused. He thought you told him he’d have to wait until you were done with your emails.. So why are you undressing already..? 

Maybe this is to keep him hard and eager– make him sit there with a view of your bare pussy so that by the time you’re done, he’s desperate and begging for you. Maybe you want to test the limits of your “good boy,” see how riled up you can make him while you work until he snaps and bends you over the sofa, taking you as he pleases. 

You stand in front of him with your back facing him, and though it’s a bit awkward and challenging, you reach behind and take his cock into your hand. “Spit on it, get it wet for me,” you tell him, and though his mind is still reeling from the unexpected development, he does as you ask. 

You spread his saliva around his length as best you can with your fingers, and when you’re content, you carefully press his cock to your hole. It takes you a second to get the angle right thanks to the position, but once you’ve got it, you slowly start to sink down. Changbin gasps and whines, bewildered by what’s happening right now. “B-Baby, I- what- what are you doing? I thought- I don’t-” 

“You’re still going to wait,” you tell him after you’ve fully sat in his lap, doing your best to keep your voice steady and firm despite how deliciously his cock is stretching out. “Be good for me, and stay still ‘til I’m done, okay? And then I’ll take care of you,” you tell him, and again he whines as he watches you lift your laptop from the coffee table and set it back in your lap. 

It’s a little awkward to type like this, but you think the fun that’ll result from it is worth it. Changbin eagerly nods his head, but then he remembers that you can’t see him in this position, so he speaks the best he can. “Y-Yes, I’ll be good for you,” he says with a shaky breath, biting his lip when you squirm ever so slightly to get more comfortable.

You lean back into him, his chest pressing against your back, his face close enough to your neck and shoulder that you can feel his labored breaths tickling your skin. He hears a click on your touchpad, opening a new email he assumes, followed shortly by the sound of keys resuming as you respond to it. 

Why is this so fucking hot? His dick is fully pressed inside you, and you’re not even paying attention to him– just continuing to type away on your laptop as if he’s not even losing his mind beneath you. Or should he say behind you? Both? 

He bites his lip and closes his eyes, trying his best to keep staying still like you told him to, his hands clutching the sofa cushions to keep them from wandering without permission and distracting you from your work. 

And God, he’s trying so hard to be quiet too, but it feels so impossible. The more you type away and click open new emails, the more he throbs. And the more he throbs, the more your pussy reacts by squeezing around him. And then he can’t help but whimper, his eyes rolling back when you adjust in his lap and cause the tiniest bit of friction. 

Click, more typing. A few more clicks, more typing. Click, click, more typing. How long has it even been? Since the moment you sank down on him and started working, he feels like he’s lost all sense of time. All he knows is that your pussy has been squeezing him so good– and it’s so wet now too. Is it just as exciting for you as it is for him? Do you like it? Or is it how good he’s being for you that’s making you soak his cock? 

“B-Baby, are you almost done? Please tell me you’re almost done,” Changbin whines, the desperation in his voice palpable. You chuckle as you click send on another email, wishing you could see his face right now– you’re sure he’s absolutely debauched. “Not quite,” you answer, and you can practically hear the pout in his whine.

Changbin is many things, but impatient and disobedient is not among the list. And he’s trying so, so hard to keep staying still, but he doesn’t think he can take it much longer. Honestly, you’re not sure if you can either– you’re quickly losing focus on your emails, and you’re fairly certain at least a handful of them were written less than professionally. 

Still, you click open another one, trying not to react to the way he desperately whimpers. He can’t be bad, he can’t– so his only option is to keep sitting here, and take it. “You’re- you’re almost done now, right?” he asks after another few minutes of waiting– at least, it felt like that to him. For all he knew, in reality it could’ve been more like 30 seconds. 

“What’s wrong, baby? Can’t wait anymore?” It’s a bit of a mean question, you know– especially since you already know the answer. But still, it’s fun to ask, and you love how whiny and breathy his voice has gotten in the time you’ve been sitting on his cock. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m really trying, I just- I-I’ve never wanted to fuck you so bad before, I’m going crazy,” he practically cries, and you’re sure that if you turned around, you’d see his plump lips formed into the cutest, most devastating pout. “But I’m- I’m good,” he continues after taking another shaky breath, “I won’t move, not unless you tell me to, I promise.”

Fuck it– you still have work, but who cares? Surely your boss will understand if you couldn’t get to every email right? You got through most of them, and that counts for something, doesn’t it? That’s the justification you give yourself anyways as you close your inbox. 

“You want to fuck me, Binnie?” you ask him, and he eagerly nods just as he did before, remembering again at the last moment that you can’t see him. “Yes, yes! I really, really want to,” he replies, letting out a salacious moan when you start to lift off him. You shut your laptop and place it back on the coffee table before you turn around to look at Changbin.

Just as you expected, he looks deliciously debauched. Lips swollen and bitten red, face flushed, eyes sparkling with hope and desire as he looks up at you. “You’re right baby, you’re good. Such a good boy,” you coo at him, leaning down to kiss him sweetly. “How do you want me?” you ask him when you pull back, and his brain has to work overtime to stop itself from short circuiting from the question.

If you’re letting him pick, there’s one clear answer that’ll make him the happiest. “Lay down- on your back, please. Want to look at you, want you to look at me,” he says, and you smile at him as you lay back against the sofa, spreading your legs so Changbin can crawl between them. He kisses you as he takes his cock in his hand, pressing it against your hole before pulling away to look at you for approval.

“Go ahead, fuck me, bunny,” you encourage him sweetly. A shiver runs down the length of his spine as he starts to push back inside you, another obscene whine from deep in his throat leaving him when he’s fully inside. He leans down to kiss you again when he starts to fuck you earnestly, because that’s all he can think to do with his overwhelming wave of emotions. 

He’s thrusting fast from the start, all the pent up desperation and need for you pouring out of him ceaselessly. Your eyes always stay on his, even when he hits your spot in the way that normally makes them close or roll back, and it makes him crazy how you’re catering to his desire to have you looking at him.  

Your eyes are so pretty, so warm in the way they look at him. Everything about you is warm– your hands when they hold him, your body when it envelops him, your voice when you speak to him. The way you smile at him when he enters the room, the way you laugh at his stupid jokes, it’s warm, all of you is so, so warm. You’re home, you’re comfort, you’re bliss.

He feels like he’s unraveling in his entirety as he looks down at you, his pace quickly growing sloppy as his cock throbs. He can’t handle the way you’re looking up at him, can feel the tears threatening to well up in the corners of his eyes. He’s so overwhelmed by it all– by the pleasure, by the way you look lying beneath him, by how much he loves you. 

“You’re so beautiful, oh my god,” he whines, every thought that’s been running through his mind falling from his lips as he squeezes you in his arms. He knows he should shut up, should bite his lip or slap his hand over his mouth before he says something he shouldn’t, but the words just keep pouring out of him. 

“You’re so pretty, so fucking pretty, I can’t take it sometimes,” he continues, whimpering when you bring your fingers to your clit and start to squeeze around him tighter. “You- you make me so crazy, you’re perfect, so perfect, and- God, ‘m so close, love you so much, I love you,” he stutters, his eyes rolling back as he feels you start to cum with him. He presses his cock fully into you one last time, his cum spurting out in thick ropes until you’re full.

He’s panting, glasses fallen down to the tip of his nose, body trembling as he slowly starts to come down from the high. “Binnie,” you call him softly, and it’s not until he opens his eyes and looks at you again that what he said hits him like a ton of bricks.

He told you he loves you. While he was fucking you. He told you he loves you.

There’s no way to turn it out around as platonic in this scenario– it’s so fucking obvious how he meant it. To say he’s mortified is an understatement; and when he tries to speak, all that comes out are pathetic stutters, every explanation he wants to offer dying in his throat. Your eyes are watery as you look at him, and suddenly his throat feels impossibly dry, his hands clammy as he pulls out of you. 

He fucked up so bad. He ruined everything, he knows he did– this isn’t how he wanted to tell you, he wasn’t even ready to tell you. And now you know, and you’re looking at him with so much concern he feels like he’s going to shatter. Not anger, not sadness, but care– a care entirely different from what he’s seen on you before.

It’s pity, isn’t it? You don’t share the sentiment and you pity him for blurting it out like that. “You love me?” you ask him, your voice soft but cautious, unsure. “I..” Changbin tries again, but honestly he just wants to cry. Every emotion, every word, lodged in his throat and stuck, but still he tries to explain himself. “I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean-”

You’ve always loved Changbin. Since the early days of your friendship, you’ve loved him. How could you not? You’d never met someone as sincere as him, his every action so affectionate and caring. A gentleman through and through, always making sure the people he loves are taken care of, always the first to offer a helping hand when someone is in need. 

But you’d given up on the idea that you could have something more so long ago– and becoming friends with benefits with him told you that he didn’t love you romantically. He was the first to offer, and people don’t offer that arrangement if it risks their feelings getting exposed; so he didn’t love you that way, you were certain. 

You told yourself you were okay with that. You were done with relationships, so tired of having your heart broken after pouring all of your love and faith into someone. And sure, you’d be heartbroken again when Changbin inevitably decides to move on, but at least it was a heartbreak you accepted would come, you’d be ready for it– that’s what you always told yourself.

But he loves you? Like, is in love with you? And he’s mistaking your surprise, your teary eyes, your struggle to wrap your head around the fact that he loves you as much as you love him as rejection. You can see it in the panic in his eyes, the way he stumbles over his words, the tremble in his voice– he thinks you don’t love him. 

How could he ever think you don’t love him? 

“Changbin, I-” you try again, and somehow the fact that you’re using his full name hurts worse; it's like a confirmation that you’re done with him, with this. It’s irrational, but the part of his brain that’s trying to talk sense into him is drowned out by the panic and fear of rejection, as if he can protect himself from the pain by accepting the fact that you don’t love him now before you say it out loud. 

“I need- I need a minute, I’m so sorry,” he blurts out, because even though he knows it’s coming, he can’t bear to hear it yet. He scrambles up from the sofa, trying to hold back the tears that threaten to spill as he rushes back to his room. He falls to his bed, burying his face into his pillows and lets out a trembling breath. 

Tomorrow.. He can’t avoid this, knows he needs to accept it sooner rather than later, but for this tiny moment, at least until tomorrow, he’s still yours.

Changbin isn’t avoiding you. At least, not on purpose– he just hasn’t gathered the courage to leave his room yet. He feels a bit like a hypocrite; he prides himself on his communication skills, and yet in the face of an honest conversation and acceptance of rejection, he flounders. Is he pathetic? You’d have every right to think so. 

Are you going to move out now? Should he? No, he should stop beating around the bush and just talk to you. You’re not in love with him, but you do love him– and that’s supposed to be enough, he told himself so many times that it is. 

You can work past this, can’t you? It has to be possible. He just doesn’t want to lose you, even if it breaks his heart he can take not having you romantically, is totally fine without the sex– but losing you as a friend? He can’t bear that.

He sighs, covering his face with his hands as he lies in his bed. He slept like shit, and he’s sure you didn’t fare much better– a thought that adds to the guilt he feels. But fuck, he needs to face this. The only thing that would be worse than losing you as a friend because being friends with benefits blew up in his face would be losing you because he was a spineless coward. 

Changbin grabs his phone, checks the time– it’s still early in the morning, but you’re usually awake by now. With another sigh to steel himself for what’s to come, he gets up from his bed and faces his door. He takes a breath, another attempt to calm his nerves, and walks to his door, quickly twisting the knob and pulling it open. 

“Oh!” you squeak in surprise, jumping where you stand before him. Changbin jumps too, with his own little shout of surprise coming out. How long were you standing outside of his door? Were you trying to work up the nerve to talk to him too? You blink at one another for a moment, and to Changbin’s relief, you’re the first to crack, letting out a little giggle. 

He giggles too, and though it’s a bit awkward given what happened late last night, it’s a relief that you’re not mad at him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Changbin explains through his giggles, and God, your smile is so cute. You cover your mouth as you try to stop giggling, eyes crinkling and sparkling as you look at him, “No, no! It’s my fault for standing outside your door like this.” 

It eases him, feels more like the normal he’s used to with you– the normal he hopes and prays you can still share after this. “Can I come in?” you ask him, and of course he lets you, stepping to the side so you can enter his room. Your body language is still relaxed, but when you look at him again, your expression is serious.

Part of him worries that the lighthearted moment you just shared was a lapse in judgment on your part, and that you’re about to chew him out for running away last night– not that he wouldn’t deserve it if you did. But what you actually end up saying is a much stronger shock to his system. “Why do you think I don’t love you?”

“Wh-What? I-I.. I don’t-” Changbin stutters, blinking at you in utter shock, not even entirely sure how to respond.

“Because I do. I love you so much, Seo Changbin. The idea that you think I don’t hurts me,” you tell him, entirely sincere. That’s the part of his impromptu confession that kept you up at night, the part that upset you? Not that he loves you when he shouldn’t, or that your friendship might be ruined?

“If you think you’re not enough for me, you are– if you think you aren’t deserving of love, you are. Tell me what it is, so I can make sure you never question how much I love you again. Okay? I need you to promise me that.”

Changbin blinks, frozen, a million thoughts and emotions running through him. If he’s being honest, he doesn’t know the answer. There was such a big chunk of his life where he wasn’t happy with himself– the way he looked, the soft parts of his personality, his desires that felt so grandiose and impossible.. 

He thought he had to live to what other people expected him to be, that it was the only way they would love him. It took him years of effort, of stumbling and falling and getting back up to get where he is now. More confident in his body, in the way he walks through the world, in the love he pours into his family and friends.

But there’s that part of his old self that still lingers– a part that calls to him late at night, that makes him question if he’s allowed to be this happy. That reminds him it’s still there when he’s weak and unsure, that crawls up his spine whenever you smile at him, that won’t let him believe that you could love him. 

Changbin isn’t the same lanky, insecure boy he was when he first met you, but maybe he is. He looks different than he did then, but maybe that part of him is still there, underneath the built up muscle and maturity. Maybe it always will be, maybe there’s no way to ever make it go away– but maybe he doesn’t need to.

He thinks of all the times you were there for him, from the very first day you met. How you always encouraged him to do what makes him happy, how you supported him through his every decision to better himself. 

“I think you’re perfect the way you are, but if going to the gym would make you feel better about yourself, you should do it!” you told him when he brought up the topic of trying to bulk up and fill out his body. “You’re so adorable Binnie, seriously, how can you be so cute?” you grinned, pinching his cheeks the first time aegyo slipped out in front of you. 

No matter which version of himself he showed you, you loved him. Each part, no matter how different and against expectations, you cared for. And even with all the work he put into himself, there was still the part of him that tried to change in his romantic and sexual relationships. Trying to live up to what he thought his partners wanted, trying to adapt himself to them. 

But so effortlessly, you dismantled the expectations he put upon himself. All the times you called him sexy and adorable in the same breath, made him believe that he could be both at the same time– that he could be manly and intimidating, sweet and loving, sexy and cute all at once, and it was all still genuinely him, all worthy of love.

Maybe it’s impossible to shove insecurity completely aside; it’s likely that it’ll always linger. Even when it’s small, and tucked away, and very nearly forgotten, it’ll be there, waiting. And maybe that’s okay, because when you have someone who loves you as you are, who reassures you and listens to you and comforts you, it’ll start to fade back out as naturally as it came in.

“I don’t know why,” he answers honestly, his bottom lip starting to quiver. His best guess is that his fear of losing someone he loves so much expounded upon his underlying insecurities, made them flare to the point that he felt like he could drown in them. 

“I just know that I love you. And I need you, and not like- not like that, I just- ..I never want to be without you,” he continues, refusing to get choked up by his emotions and let it stop him from saying what he needs to. “And I promise- I’ll tell you, anytime I’m unsure of myself, I’ll tell you.” 

You step closer to him, reach up and cup his face in your hands, rub the tears that threaten to fall from the corners of his eyes with your thumbs. His heart skips a beat when you smile sweetly at him, when you lean towards him to press a soft kiss to his lips, to tell him you love him. “You said I was perfect,” you say as you kiss him again, and then again, “but so are you. You’re the loveliest person I’ve ever known.”

You press more kisses over his face, complimenting each feature as you go. His deep, dark eyes that can be so piercing or so soft depending on the situation. His full cheeks, so cute and endearing when they’re pink from a blush, but so handsome and complimentary to his face. His downturned smirk when something amuses him that can easily turn into a fully bright upturned smile when he’s happy, and makes his nose scrunch adorably. 

“Honey,” he breathes in a soft whine, unsure of what to do with all the excess affection. You guide him back to his bed, crawling atop him when he falls back against it, continuing your trail of kisses down his neck. “You deserve this,” you tell him, smiling against his skin when you feel him squirm beneath you, “deserve it all, and more.”

Changbin brings one of his hands to the back of your neck when you pull back to look at him, bringing you back down to him so he can kiss you. He doesn’t want to hold back anymore, to try and hide how badly he needs you. He kisses you like a man starved, hungry and desperate. His desire is carnal, every inch of him aching for your attention. 

Your hands sweep over his torso, finding the hem of his shirt and tugging at it. He gets the hint, and separates from you so you can take it off him. He watches you remove yours too, heart thumping in his chest as you reach behind you to unhook your bra. He tries to lean up to kiss you again when you’re finished, but you push him back down.

He whines at first, but quickly swallows it down when you smile at him in that pretty way that makes his stomach flare with butterflies, his cock twitching as it hardens beneath you. Your hands travel his body, compliments about each and every inch of him freely falling from your lips. His arms, thick and warm and comforting. His chest, so strong and beautifully sculpted. His stomach, soft and cute, as perfect as the rest of him. 

You kiss him too– everywhere your fingers touch, your lips follow. Soft, tender, overwhelming– his heart is beating so fast and hard, all your words, touches, and kisses make his blood feel like molten lava, every inch of him unbearably hot. It chokes him up too, how sweet you’re being to him; you’ve doted on him plenty of times, but never like this.

You take one of his hands in yours next, bring it up to your lips to press achingly soft kisses to it. The palm first, and then his wrist, before you turn it over to kiss his knuckles. You kiss the tip of each of his fingers, and his breath hitches as he watches you, goosebumps erupting all over him when you gently put it down and pick up his other hand to repeat the actions. 

You treat him with so much reverence, shower him with more love than he knows what to do with. He’s trembling with emotion, aching with desire, overwhelmed by how much he loves you, how beautiful you look. He’s going to cry– seriously, he doesn’t know how much more he can take before tears start spilling out of him. 

“Honey, please-” Changbin whines, and to his relief, you pause to look at him. “Please, I- let me make you feel good, please? I want to, I- I want to show you how much I love you too,” he begs. You intended to take care of him, to shower him in affection until you inevitably made him cum, but you meant it when you said you can never deny him his desire to be sweet to you.

“Tell me what you want, baby,” you say, and you watch as he chews on his bottom lip, face heating up further as he considers what to say. He knows what he wants, he’s thought about it so many times– it’s just the admitting and asking for it part that makes him a little shy. Still, you treat him so well, and you always indulge him, so.. The only thing to do is just go for it. 

“I want.. Want you to sit on my face. Please? Please, please sit on my face,” he begs, and God, that has to be the sexiest thing he’s ever begged for. It makes your stomach flip, and if your legs weren’t straddling him, you definitely would’ve clenched them together. Lifting yourself off him, you make quick work of the remainder of your clothes. 

Changbin scoots down the bed, so your legs will have more room when you return to him, chucking his glasses away, not nearly enough care in him for where they land. He looks at you, with a devastatingly sweet and bashful smile, his arms reaching out to help you when you start to settle above him. Your knees on either side of his head, he wraps his arms around your thighs. 

The latter half of his face is obscured by your body hovering over him, but looking down, you can see his eyes, sparkling with eager excitement as he keeps your gaze. You lower yourself just a little, nervous to sit your entire weight on his face and suffocate him, but Changbin doesn’t want you to hover, he wants you to sit. 

So using the arms he has wrapped around you, he pulls you fully down to him. You gasp– partly because of the surprise, and partly from the feeling of his tongue meeting your pussy. He focuses on your hole first, lapping up all the slick that drips out of you before he drags his tongue up to your clit, licking in a long, fat stripe.

He wraps his lips around it, sucking and flicking it with his tongue until you're writhing above him before he alternates back to licking you up, bottom to top, drinking all you offer. You bury your fingers in his curly hair, and he moans when you tug on it. He squeezes your trembling thighs, letting out happy hums whenever you moan for him.

He sticks out his tongue and lays it flat for you when you start to roll your hips, letting you grind against his face and use him however you see fit to. You shiver when your clit bumps against his nose, your breaths becoming harsher as you drive yourself closer to release on his tongue.

“Oh bunny, you’re so good to me, so good, ‘m gonna cum for you,” you cry, voice whinier than you would’ve otherwise liked it to be, but the way Changbin whines eagerly in response tells you how much he loves it. A few more rolls of your hips, and you’re cumming, your thighs squeezing around his head as you keep a tight grip on his hair to keep yourself steady. 

Changbin enthusiastically laps up your release, continuing until you're squirming and whining from the sensitivity. He loosens his hold on your thighs when you do, letting you lift your leg over his head and fall to the side of the bed a little ways away from him. Both of you are breathless, but Changbin is the first to recover, and when he does he sits up and crawls over to where you landed.

He grabs your face, gently, of course, and pulls you into a kiss. His face is slick with your essence, and you can taste yourself all over his lips and tongue. “You looked so pretty,” he tells you softly between kisses, “You’re so gorgeous when you cum for me.” He carefully spreads your legs and slots himself between them, sliding his tongue around yours as he does. 

“Want to give you my cock now,” he breaths, pulling away just enough to look at you with those eager, pleading eyes that make you weak. “Want to keep making you feel good, want to- want to watch your eyes roll back when I make you cum again.” 

“Sweet boy,” you coo, spreading your legs wider for him, offering yourself to him, “do it, baby. Give it to me.”

He kicks off the remainder of his clothes in record time, taking his cock in his hand and spreading the dribbling pre-cum over his length until it’s completely wet. You’re more than ready for him, but he’s as careful with you as always, pushing each inch inside slowly. 

You reach out to him and pull him down to you, kissing him hard and sweet, drinking in the whimper he lets out when he’s fully inside you. His entire body is trembling, still worked up from all the attention you gave him and sensitive from fucking you just last night. There’s a part of him that still feels vulnerable too, but he’s safe with you, and he knows you always will be. 

He loves you well, but you love him better; and he’ll spend every moment he has showing how much he appreciates you. He doesn’t need to prove his worth, doesn’t need to do anything apart from be himself– the love you’ve given him has shown him that. You understand him, better than anyone ever has. 

You love him, you always have, long before who he is now, and will continue to long into the future. All he has to do to repay all you’ve given him is love you. Love you honestly, openly, freely– because he’s enough as he is.

When he starts to move his hips, you both moan, Changbin just the slightest bit louder than you. He tucks his arms under your shoulders and pulls you closer to him, chests touching as he steadily builds a faster pace. He’s squeezing you in his arms, whining in your ear about how good you feel around him.

He’s so high-strung and sensitive that he doesn’t think he’ll last long, but oh, is he going to try. But shit, he’s still so emotional too– he thought he would’ve recovered by now, but it keeps hitting him in waves. And when you kiss him, it makes him dizzy– not just with lust and desire, but with passion, adoration.

The way he looks down at you when he pulls away takes your breath away, so sentimental and loving. You take his face into one of your hands again, and it takes everything in him to not get choked up again. Your love is his greatest comfort, but it also makes him ache– because no one has ever loved him as sincerely as you do. 

“Do you need to stop?” you ask him tenderly, once again wiping the tears from his eyes. His heart feels like it’s going to burst from all the emotion, but he quickly shakes his head, offering you a sincere smile, “N-No, no, I’m fine! I just- I really love you,” he admits, pressing a sweet kiss to your lips to show you he means it.

“And besides, I might go actually insane if I don’t fuck you, cause seriously, how are you so fucking sexy?” he follows up. “Oh, shut up,” you giggle, playfully slapping his arm. “This is supposed to be about you, you know? My sweet bunny and how perfect he is- maybe I need to remind you?” 

Changbin curiously tilts his head at your words as you lock your legs around him and using what strength you have, and with the help of gravity and momentum, you force him to roll to his side, and then to his back. You smile down at him, your roles easily flipped, while he stares up at you, mystified and easily the most turned on he’s ever been. 

“Oh-” is all he manages to utter, his cock throbbing furiously inside you. He could’ve easily fought it– he’s physically much stronger than you, after all. But he just loves when you force him into the positions you want, loves to be malleable and pliant for you. 

You plant your hands firmly on his chest, bouncing on his cock fast, the sound of your thighs slapping together just barely louder than Changbin’s obscenely loud whimpers. “Oh God, ‘m gonna cum,” he whines desperately, too wound up and sensitive to resist it, his hands clutching at the bedsheets so hard his knuckles have turned white, “please, please, please, can I, please? Please, let me cum.” 

“I love you so much, Binnie, want you to cum for me,” you tell him, bringing one of your hands to your clit so you can cum with him, the way he always loves to. It causes you to squeeze tighter, and he gasps, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he trembles. “Give it to me, baby, be a good boy and cum for me.”

He does just as you ask, a messy string of “I love you”s falling from his lips until he’s too far gone to keep talking, tears streaming down the sides of his face as his eyes roll to the back of his head, and then close. His noises are high-pitched and pornographic, his entire body shaking with the intensity of his cum spilling inside you.

His vision is blurry when he starts to blink open his eyes, but soon enough you come back into focus above him, looking down at him affectionately. He smiles at you, a goofy, sweet one that makes you giggle. He wraps his arms around you and drags you down to him, pressing kisses to your lips over and over again. 

Changbin tells you everything he’s wanted to this entire time as he does; how beautiful you are, how much he loves you, how he can’t imagine his life without you in it. He blushes when you do the same, while once again making him promise he’ll tell you if doubt ever starts to creep up on him. 

The journey to loving yourself isn’t easy; it’s a long winding road, uneven and easy to stumble on. But when he falls, you’ll be there to catch him. You’ll remind him how loved he is, the value he has simply in being, how he brightens every day you share just by existing. 

You’ll always be here, growing older with him, supporting him as he continues to grow and change, each experience turning him into a newer version of himself. And in every change, in every season of his life, you’ll continue to love him. Always.

network tags: @ksmutsociety @skzstarnet

[starseungs]

college crush!changbin

college crush series .ᐟ ── bang chan ⋆ lee know ⋆ changbin ⋆ hyunjin ⋆ han ⋆ felix ⋆ seungmin ⋆ i.n

seo changbin x gn!reader. fluff, college au. 1.2k wc.

note: #4 on the college crush series! i was supposed to post this yesterday but i got a fever and couldnt finish it on time;; anyway here it is >< lightly proofread cause i need to sleep

2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

College Crush!Changbin, whom you first got to know during your program’s first general assembly of the new academic year. He was late to the program and had the only option of sitting by your side, which was the closest available seat left at the back. 

College Crush!Changbin, who kept trying to start a conversation with you even though you weren’t the most responsive. It turns out he was a year above yours, making him your senior. After learning that fact, you begrudgingly started replying back out of common courtesy. Somehow, that didn’t seem to phase him at all, and you didn’t know whether to be grateful or confused about the fact.

College Crush!Changbin, who you slowly realized would be impossible to dislike because he just seemed like an overall great guy, even with all the curt replies you gave him earlier. Halfway through the assembly, he already had you actively engaged in a passionate exchange of ideas regarding what’s the best soup dish. You never voiced it out, but you had a much more entertaining time with him than the actual assembly program.

College Crush!Changbin, who you would always see around campus from then on. Whenever you two end up locking eyes, his gaze immediately lights up with recognition, and just seconds later, he’ll be right in front of you, topics ready for small talk. You could always see his friends exchanging knowing glances at each other before catching your stare and sheepishly waving. Most of the time, the scene ends with said friends having to drag Changbin away to attend their classes.

College Crush!Changbin, who messages you every once in a while to invite you on a food trip to new spots he discovers. You once asked him why he was approaching you instead of his other closer friends, only to receive the simple reply of “they’re busy.” Not to say that you didn’t buy it one bit, but he offers to pay every time, so really, who were you to refuse in this economy?

College Crush!Changbin, who drives you two around in a navy blue SUV. There was this little voice inside of your head questioning whether or not it was a normal thing for not-so-close friends but also not-so-acquaintances to have casual intimate outing plans like this, but another part of you also acknowledged that everyone already knew Changbin as a generally friendly guy. That reasoning soothed your suspicions, even though deep down you were also thinking of how many people he treats like this on a daily basis.

College Crush!Changbin, who surprisingly made you feel really comfortable with him. His presence naturally came with an aura of security, both physically and mentally. He was easy to talk to and calming to be with. He never even once made you feel like you had something to be distressed about—and that’s not just because he seems to like paying for other people. You now acknowledge why everyone and their mothers liked the guy.

College Crush!Changbin, whom your friends tease you about eventually. You gently brushed their words off, claiming that the two of you weren’t involved in that way and that he was just a senior friend of yours. Though, at the same time, you couldn’t blame them for it. Who exactly would platonically give someone a bouquet of roses and a tray of chocolates for Valentine's Day?

College Crush!Changbin, who you cornered in the campus’ botanical garden one day after his Valentine's stunt to finally ask about his actions. He comes clean about how he became interested in you after the day you first met, which only grew the more you talked. His uncharacteristically apprehensive confession was then followed by his offers to stop all his actions if you felt uncomfortable with them.

College Crush!Changbin, who had to literally cover his mouth to stop himself from yelling in shock when you told him you’d give him a chance. You could only laugh at his over-the-top reaction, which consisted of jumping up and down while his hands vibrated into fists in happiness. Everyone was only left to wonder what had Changbin grinning like a lottery winner for the next twenty-four hours.

College Crush!Changbin, who would never forget to send you daily greetings. It didn’t matter what time of the day it was—at one point, he even sent you a “good afternoon” for no particular reason. Updates were also abundant. You never went on a day without him sharing parts of his, either in real time through chats or at night when he calls you before you sleep. And honestly, it was becoming one of your favorite aspects of your day.

College Crush!Changbin, who could do anything for you in a heartbeat, no questions asked. One time, you briefly mentioned a collector’s item you’ve been actively searching for in passing, which somehow ended up with him on a dedicated search for it around the city. You were shocked at how many locations he went to, even giving you updates on the stock status in each one.

College Crush!Changbin, who loves talking to you because your voice soothes him so much. He swears that just hearing you talk to him could melt away all the stress and exhaustion piled up on him throughout the day. At the same time, he also likes seeing your expressions whenever you’re talking about something that interests you. The way your face forms differently depending on your stance on the matter at hand entertains him. Overall, you’re his healing.

College Crush!Changbin, who looks forward to your replies to his messages every time. He knows the things he sends you could get a bit random at times, but he relishes how receptive you are to all of his shenanigans anyway. You make him feel seen.

College Crush!Changbin, who waits for you outside your classes just to surprise you with a ride home or a spontaneous lunch or dinner date. Mornings aren’t left out either, as it also wasn’t uncommon for Changbin to show up at your doorstep with a takeout breakfast for the two of you in hand. Keeping you well-fed and relaxed fills him with an indescribable satisfaction.

College Crush!Changbin, who enthusiastically talks about you to his family, despite them never actually meeting you yet. His sister always pokes him on the side to tease him whenever he gets that lovesick look on his face again, while his parents listen to him attentively. They couldn’t wait until the day he finally brings you to their home.

College Crush!Changbin, who took you out on a seaside candle-lit dinner for your birthday. He made sure to have the reservation happen the night before your actual birthday so that you could celebrate with your family and/or friends if you wished. Your eyes almost welled up with tears at the thoughtfulness behind it.

College Crush!Changbin, who always says that you deserve the best and shouldn’t expect less. When you asked him if it was reasonable for him to go through such lengths for you even if you haven’t even made it official yet, he only shrugged and said that it was his way of practicing how to treat you when you finally made him yours.

College Crush!Changbin, whom you pulled down to kiss right then and there after he uttered those words. You would be a fool to further deprive this man of the love he deserves after months of solid dedication to you. It didn’t take long for you to press another kiss on his lips either, because you had an inkling he’d react endearingly explosively in shock again.

College Boyfriend!Changbin, who loves you like you’re royalty, always ends the night thinking of how honored he is to be beside you.

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