#change is scary but scary is good sometimes

[charlies-diary-entries]

Hi!! Your metamorphmagus!reader with poly marauders was so cute I can’t help but ask for more! Anything works but if you need a more specific request could you do one where they’re just pranking Slytherin with reader? Or a little aftermath of the confession and where they go from there?

Your choice ofc and I might just be your biggest fan 💗☝️

ugh lovey, im your biggest fan! trust darling, i will write a prank fic soon enough, but this was on my mind and i really wanted to get it out of my head and into words. hope you enjoy <3

Ever since you'd all confessed to each other, the boys had been loving on you almost non-stop. Walking you to and from class, study dates in the library, dates down in Hogsmeade, cuddle piles in their room, the Gryffindor common room, hell, sometimes James would skip class just to wrap his arms around you and hang off of your shoulders all day long.

All that time together gave them a plethora of opportunities to better understand you and your abilities. It thrilled each of them to know you better, to learn your likes and dislikes, but they were particularly fond of the way your magic always gave you away.

You, however, found it to be ridiculously embarrassing.

Memories and syrupy sweet thoughts of your boys chased around your head as you finished up their gifts, your 3-month anniversary coming up. God, to think it had already been that long!

It was a week after your shared confession (which had ended in maybe the best cuddles of your life and many very, very sweet kisses) as you walked to Herbology. Remus had just caught you in the hall before you went outside and pressed a kiss to your cheek, wishing you a good day. You were still adjusting to the boys' heightened presence in your life. The suddenness of it all, it felt... unreal. But you were happy. So, very happy.

"Hey! Gorgeous!"

Sirius's shout broke your reverie and you glanced up to find him bounding towards you, grin stretched ear to ear.

"Hey Siri," you smiled back at him, "What's up?"

"Nothin much. Love the pink by the way, why'd you change it?"

You could feel your face flush as your hair shifted back to it's natural color, Sirius pressing a loving kiss to your temple as his arm snaked around your waist.

"It's-" You had to consciously keep your hair natural, the tips of your hair settling to a nice pink. It was the best you could manage. "Well, I didn't really mean to, it just- Well, Remus he- he kissed me. A minute ago, in the hall."

Sirius's brow furrowed as you both continued to walk. "What's that got to do with your hair, Dove?"

"It just- It changes. Sometimes." You had a horrible, sinking feeling that Sirius would use this information completely to his advantage and you'd never get away with anything again. The pink continued to spread throughout your hair as Sirius pulled you both to a stop.

He brought a hand to your hair, fascinated as he played with it, watching the color creep up to your roots. His smile turned scary mischievous as he brushed a thumb over your cheek, before continuing to stroke your hair.

"Dove, is it that you're flustered?"

You stuttered and looked to the ground as Sirius laughed, guiding your gaze back to him before he kissed you. You sighed as your eyes fluttered closed, reaching up to place your own hand on his cheek.

You both had soft smiles as you pulled apart, foreheads resting against each others. Your hair was almost completely normal again when Sirius spoke.

"Oh, you're so done, darling."

He grinned, mischievous and daring as he leaned near your ear.

"Now I know your secrets, I think I quite like the color pink on you."

You squeaked as he pinched your side, pushing you towards the greenhouse. You looked back to him waving his fingers at you, sly and with no kind intention at all. You huffed, turning and entering Herbology.

You got several compliments on your hot pink hair that class period.

You smiled to yourself, flushed with embarrassment thinking of that first time your magic had told on you. Sirius had since used it quite to his advantage, doing his best to get your hair to turn outrageous colors, loving the way it looked on you.

(Anytime a professor dared to think of dress coding you, he would jump in and take the blame for it every time. He would probably do just about anything for you, now that you thought about it.)

That first time was sweet, and it certainly wasn't the only time either. Getting used to having the boys around meant getting used to them knowing your tells; This meant more than just the sweet, romantic ones.

You sat, curled up and tucked away in some very far corner of the library, hands cupped around your ears as tears streaked down your face. The darkness and quiet were certainly helping, but panic gripped tightly at your lungs and seeped your air away from you.

It was torture.

Familiar torture, but torture all the same.

Eventually, the panic subsided and your tears melted away. With your breath finally returned to you, you swiped a hand down your shifting face to ensure you were put together, then shuffled off to the rest of your day. The attack irked you, certainly, but you weren't about to let something so infinitesimal derail your day.

Slipping into your potions seat, James perked up and turned to you. He slipped his arms around your waist and tugged you into his chest, humming and careless of the other students around you. He shoved his face into your neck and you sighed, stroking his hand as it rested on your tummy.

"How've you been today James?"

"Alright," he spoke, muffled into your skin, "S'been alright. Missed you."

You rolled your eyes, a small smile making it's way to your lips. You grabbed the hand you'd been stroking as you pulled away from him, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"Well, good thing you've got me now then, isn't it?"

"What's happened to you, Dove?"

The sudden concern pouring off of James as he met your eyes was unexpected and you awkwardly smiled, trying to put the past hour or so before this moment to the very back of your mind. (It did not work.)

"What d'you mean Jamie?"

"Your eyes-" he cupped your cheek, leaning in to get a better look. "They're blue. They're all ocean-y and iridescent."

Your eyebrow arched up as he frowned. He began to rub your cheeks with his thumbs.

"Dove, that happens when you've been crying."

Your jaw dropped in a quiet "oh". Had you really cried around your boys enough for them to discover another quirk of yours? You hadn't even known that happened. Really, something so simple as your eye color? You looked away, turning into James's palm and hiding your face in it, willing your eyes normal again.

"Didn't realize that had happened. Sorry."

"What do you have to apologize for Dove?"

He glanced around to ensure there were no snooping students or god forbid, the professor, before kissing you and pulling you into his arms fully. Your eyes welled again at the feeling as you returned the hug.

"It's alright Dovey. Let me hold you for a minute right now, and then the second potions is over, we skip the rest of the day so we can cuddle up in my room, alright?"

You giggled, "We can't just skip cause I'm a bit upset."

At this James scoffed. "As far as I'm concerned, the whole entire world should stop if your shoelace so much as comes untied. Everyone ought to kneel down and tie it for you, then give you anything you want."

This made you laugh more, a few tears streaking down your cheeks as James smiled and held you tighter.

"There you are, lovey."

Truly, you got all warm and fuzzy every time the boys pointed yourself out to you. That they cared to notice, that they cared to let you know, that they loved every little magical quirk so much, it made your heart pool with adoration for the boys.

Despite James's feelings on the matter, you felt the world should bow down to them. They'd given you so much love, made you feel so important and normal, it felt there was no possible way to thank them sometimes.

No possible way to love them back the way they loved you.

The bittersweet thought was chased away as the door to the boy's dorm creaked open and you rushed to finish off the very last bow on the presents for your darlings.

"Hey Dove, what're you doin' here?"

Remus draped his body over yours from behind, arms snaking around yours and trapping you into his chest. You laughed as he smushed his face into your temple, taking in a deep breath and then letting out a very long sigh.

"Nothing much. Finishing off a surprise for you all."

"A surprise?"

At this, he lifted his head to see the boxes placed amongst his, Sirius, and James's beds, all done up with a bow and a card each, then one card for all three of them placed on Remus's desk. He smiled, turning back into your neck and leaving a warm kiss there.

"This is lovely, but you didn't have to Dove. Thought we'd spend the anniversary just snuggling and drinking and eating and such. Celebrate each other."

At this he nipped your skin and it sent you into a short tizzy of giggles. While you laughed, he turned you around in his arms and began to place butterfly kisses around your entire face.

"I- I know, Remus. Just felt like doing something- stop!- something nice!"

You fought through your giggles as he pulled back to smile at you, placing one more heated kiss to your lips.

"Well, thank you Dove."

Another kiss, his hands tightening around your waist as he guided you towards his bed.

"Really, you're so wonderful, what are we to do with you?"

You laughed as he pushed you down onto the sheets, continuing to press hot kisses to your lips, then your jaw, then slowly down your neck. You breath hitched as he nipped at the bottom of your neck, beginning to kiss and suck at the skin just below the collar of your shirt.

"R-Rem-"

"Hurry up Sirius, I haven't seen either of them all day and I-"

And all of a sudden James rushed into the room, stopping short at the sight in front of him. A very pretty flush began to crawl up his neck as he stared at you, and then Remus, and then you, and then Remus as he pressed another kiss to your lips.

"What's finally got you quiet- Oh."

Sirius followed after him, a smirk growing on his face.

"Starting the festivities without us I see."

You could feel your own face grow warm as Remus sat beside you, tugging you up so you could lay on his chest between his legs.

"S'not my fault you two are slow-pokes."

With this, Remus pressed yet another kiss to your cheek, and you could've sworn you felt steam escape your ears as he began to travel lower again. Sirius barked out a laugh as this happened, noting the very real and very adorable steam that actually shot out from the sides of your face.

"Guess we've got to make up for lost time, huh?"

With that, Sirius pressed a kiss to James's cheek and slapped his ass before bouncing over to you and Remus, eager to participate. James (now sufficiently red in the face and very flustered) was quick to follow.

Your presents were easily forgotten in the way the boys completely filled your space and your heart and your mind. Their love was so overwhelming it left almost no room for anything else.

You wouldn't have it any other way.

apologies if anythings a little confusing, i'm finishing this off with a bit of alcohol in my system lol!! hope you enjoyed lovely! sorry it took so long! <3

[samaraxmorgan]

Crack JJK headcanons based on nothing but vibes:

I never see headcanons that aren’t smut/romance based so I decided to post some of mine that make me laugh!! :) if you have any goofy headcanons pleeeease add them in a rb/reply I would LOVE to read them!!!

Gojo is sick and tired of people telling him he looks like Jack Frost.

Yuuji’s favorite game as a kid was Kirby Air Ride on the GameCube.

Inumaki runs the Dril account on Twitter.

Choso asked Yuki for K-Goth recommendations but she thought he said K-Pop, he ended up unintentionally getting really into BlackPink.

Megumi refuses to tell anyone (especially Gojo) that he likes My Chemical Romance because he already gets called emo enough.

Higuruma had a flip phone until 2016.

Gojo called Geto the n word one time in high school and Meimei still won’t let him live it down.

Choso sends Yuuji sibling TikToks (like “when you and your brother have opposite vibes”) and says “this is us.”

Nobara is the worst driver out of the first years (which is scary because Yuuji can’t shouldn’t drive).

Nobara has an early 2000s bug and she put eyelashes on the headlights.

Yuuji drives a Jeep Wrangler and audibly says “skrrrt” every time he makes a sharp turn even if no one else is in the car.

Nanami never watches the TikToks Gojo sends him (and it offends Gojo so much).

Choso knows how to do trad goth makeup and he’s actually insanely good at it.

Since Gojo can see through his eyelids, sometimes he accidentally sleeps with his eyes open and wakes up with a massive migraine because of it.

Yaga ends every email with “Sent from my iPhone.”

Choso is really interested in watching fish, he could sit in front of a fish tank and just watch a fish swim around for hours like he’s in a trance.

Megumi is a total metal head and goes unexpectedly hard in a mosh pit.

Yuuji was genuinely devastated when mango Juul pods were discontinued.

Gojo has a Bitmoji and uses it constantly (to the point where it’s kinda cringey).

Meimei has a standard poodle.

Whenever someone sends Higuruma a meme he’ll just reply with a thumbs up or thumbs down emoji based on if he thought it was funny or not.

Nobara hit a curb so hard she popped her tire, and Maki had to drive out and change it for her.

[certifiedwhore4slashers]

final girl | coriolanus snow

pairing: ghostface!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

summary: you've become a target, the final girl of a killer's movie.

warnings: dark content, possessive!coryo, dark!coryo, obsession/obsessive behavior, suggestive themes(if you squint), stalking, murder, blood and gore, coryo being delusional, threats of violence, violence, sort of modern!au, no use of y/n, naive!reader, r is too kind.

It was october, not only that but there was a killer on the loose. You were by yourself, much to your parent’s annoyance. You told them,”I’m 18 Mom. I technically could be on my own. Please, let me be on my own. I’ll be fine. I’ve got friends who can help me. And 911 on the phone.”

Your mother sighed. "The capitol’s safe enough. Fine. But if anything happens-” “Protocol, I know, I know all the rules, You replied. You did. Normally, your parents weren't like this. But there was a killer. A fucking killer. Of course they'd be worried for their only child.

You were also the heir to wealthy parents and known in the capitol. Your parents were. If there would be a target, you might be on that list. Either way, you were going to be as safe as you could be.

. You place yourself on the couch. The staff, which included the maids, were on their day-offs today, which was unfortunate for you. Tonight, would be different, though, you had no idea.

Clemensia, your best friend, texted you.

Home alone?

You replied almost right away.

Yeah. It took convincing, though. My parents are kind of protective.

You knew she was sighing and rolling her eyes at your comment. Clemensia was logical, so were you. The both of you were, but sometimes you could be reckless. Her, too, but not tonight apparently.

For good reason. I mean, there's a killer out there.

You wanted to just watch a movie, something that was a form of entertainment in the Capitol, obviously. You decide a horror movie was too gruesome for a time like this, and were planning to watch a rom-com. A surprise, considering you loved horror movies.

Yeah. I feel too... scared to watch a scary movie. That's how bad this is getting.

That was the truth, you were utterly terrified. Terrified to even watch scary movies, as if it'd become true. You check your phone. Updates in the group chat continue.

Your friend, Coriolanus, was discussing the killer. But also said that everyone should be careful. It was a known fact he liked you, but you were oblivious.

You were always so naïve.

They say he calls his victims before he kills them. I hope that's not true. I mean, what if he gets one of us?

The latest kills were students at the school, Gaius Breen and Androcles Anderson. This was tragic, and they didn't deserve it. They really didn't. And it made you wonder, why?

Why?

Clemensia was texting you and then calls. “Hey Clemmie, You say. “Hey! She replied. She sounded a little better but still, she was probably terrified just like you. "You okay, Clemmie, why did you call? You ask her, naturally. "Clemmie" was a nickname given in your childhood. You had a friend group that all had your own nicknames, including you. "I don't know, I don't think I'd like to be by myself, She admitted.

"That's fair, You agreed."I don't think... Hold on. I'm getting another call. Can I be right back on that?" "Mhm, it's not your fault, Clemensia said.

You end that call, and while the number was not one you'd recognize, sometimes you don't put in numbers on accident, or change the name. It happens. "Hello? You say, kindly. No matter who called, you tried to be as polite as you could be. 

"Hello."

Already, you know this is a stranger. For one thing, the voice isn't one yo recognize, secondly, the number wasn't in your contacts. So it wasn't one you accidentally kept the number on. Unless this was a prank. 

"Sorry I have to ask, who is this?"

"Who is this?"

"I already asked that. What number are you trying to reach?"

"I don't know, what number is this?"

You chuckle. "You called me, shouldn't you know?"

"I guess not."

In your mind, you conclude that this must be a wrong number. It wasn't his fault, so you weren't going to be annoyed by it. They seemed to be confused. "Wrong number, it's not your fault, it happens." You hang it up, and it was eerily similar to the beginning of Scream. You brushed it off, and planned to call Clemensia back, when the number called again.

"Hello?"

"I'm sorry. I guess I dialed the wrong number."  

"Oh, then why did you call again?"

"To apologize."

"Well, I forgive you, so-"

"Wait, can we talk?"

You sigh. "I'd love to. But i've got a phone call to do, bye, buddy." You hang up again. You innocently think of this as some joke. So, entertaining the prankster wouldn't be too bad for you. 

However, you needed to call Clemensia back, ASAP. As you were about to tap her name to call, the prankster called again. However, you weren't going to be mad or annoyed, you were that good of a person.

Maybe naïve for your own good, but kind nonetheless. 

"Hello?"

"Why don't you want to talk to me?" 

"Oh, hi, um... I just don't know you at all. Sorry."

"You seem very sweet and understanding."

"I try to be. You never know. What's your name?"

"You tell me your name, and I'll tell you mine."

You place a piece of popcorn in my mouth, my soda beside me by the movie." As much as it'd be nice to make another friend, you'd have to earn that." A while ago, you texted your boyfriend to come over. Where was he? Your parents were gone. This was your chance to finally get intimate tonight. Still, no response. You texted him a couple of times. You frown. Is he cheating on me? You thought.

"What are you eating?"

"Popcorn, You immediately reply. "I'm watching a movie."

"What movie?"

"A rom-com, I can't bring myself to watch a horror movie."

"Rom-coms are cheesy, I think horror movies are incredible."

"Ah, a horror nerd, You joke. "Well, I normally think so, too. But, it's just... whatever."

"What's your favorite scary movie?"

You smile. "I guess I'd say, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's interesting."

"A good choice. It's brutal."

You check your phone a couple of times, still on the call, your boyfriend messaged once. He was on his way, and apologized for not being there. You accepted it, he was a good boyfriend, and was normally on time or responded, he was perfect. So, you forgave him immediately. 

"So, you've got a boyfriend?"

His voice was flirty, and suggestive, even. But you weren't flattered or anything. You loved your boyfriend. "Mhm, You say."So, I'm not interested. We're happy together."

"Ah, lovebirds. How cute."

His voice was sarcastic. However, you still tried to remain kind. You didn't say anything as a response though. 

"You never said your name."

"Why do you want my name?"

"Because I want to know who I'm looking at."

You freeze. "What did you say?"

"I want to know who I'm talking to.""

You shake your head."No. That's not what I heard." Panicked, you text your boyfriend and Clemensia. Someone was watching you."I'm hanging up."

"Why would you do that, Doll?"

"I... I just have to go."

"Don't hang up."

You text your boyfriend once more, hoping he'd come quick. Instead, however, you got a disturbing response.

Don't hang up on me. It won't end well for you.

You lock every door in your house, this creep wouldn't come in your house. But you also weren't ignoring his calls anymore certainly. He calls again, and you pick up. "What do you want?"

"Just to talk, doll."

"No, clearly not. Otherwise-"

"You've caught me. I want to play a game. Like I played with your boyfriend."

"What did you do with him?"

"Go check for yourself."

You whimper, stepping towards the back of your large home. You had a feeling it'd be in your backyard, the answer you were looking for. When you turn on the lights, You scream. Your phone drops, but thankfully doesn't break. Your boyfriend, was hung and gutted in your tree, bloody and all. You began to sob, shakily picking your phone up. "Please, why did you kill him?"

"You belong to me, doll. You're mine. I won't let anyone take you from me."

In that moment, a figure with a ghostly mask bursts in, grabbing you from behind, hands on your waist as you begin to fight, what was he going to do? Take you? You kick, your elbow kicking his rips, and a groan came out from him. You run. You held your phone, call ended. You take this chance and call 911. 

Ghostface gets up, and mid call, is fast and you dropped your phone. You yelp, trying everything in your power.You’re thrown onto the floor and now he’s on top of you, knife in hand was clean but probably washed off the blood after murdering your boyfriend.

what was he going to do with you?

He must be contemplating what he was planning to do. Your legs were stuck, so you couldn’t kick him. He tilts his head. His knife trails down your body, suggestively but also mocking you, it's between your breasts, and then you grab his wrist, trying to pry him off of you. But he's stronger. He says,"Be a good girl and I won't hurt you." He must mean death, so you nod, still crying. The police would come. 

You must've hit the floor hard, because your vision was foggy, and you were close to passing out. If this was death, you were ready. But you had no injuries. You clearly were just going unconscious. You use your free arm to take his mask off.

Your eyes widen."Coryo?" You barely see the grin on his face before you black out.

[nerdygaymormon]

Relatedly, where does the reputation for the church violently hating LGBT people come from? It's an honest question. I want to know if I'm being naive about the church. I mean, I was raised Catholic and I'm interested in becoming LDS, but from my upbringing, the consequences of being queer are either hellfire or a very long and painful time spent in purgatory cleansing oneself of those 'sins'. The LDS message that basically everyone goes to heaven seems incredibly radical to me. Am I missing something where LGBT people are excluded from that? It seems the church's traditional family stance is very mild compared to most other Christian faiths. Again just the message that you're going to heaven seems radically accepting to me, even if you can't partake in all sacraments. Why don't I see the same vitriol for other Christian faiths regarding their treatment of LGBT people like I do for the LDS church? It really does make me feel like I am missing something scary and I need to be careful.

You're correct that the LDS Church teaches that LGBT people will go to heaven. In LDS theology, heaven is divided into 3 main divisions, and LGBT people will not get to the highest level of heaven, and therefore will be separated from their family for eternity. While we think of the two lower levels of heaven as still very good places to wind up, no Mormon grows up thinking that's where they want to go and we sort of talk about those as if going to Hell, even though it's not really equivalent to the traditional Christian concept of Hell.

LDS theology excludes queer people. We teach that we existed as spirits in a pre-earth life and that queerness didn't exist then, and queerness won't exist after death, it is limited only to this mortal life. The key to receiving all the blessings of earth & heaven is to be married, and same-sex marriages aren't allowed. Similarly, gender is taught to be eternal and that transness and gender dysphoria didn't exist before earth life and won't exist afterwards.

So while we don't preach hellfire and brimstone, the message that you're a broken and a mistake and aren't going to be saved with your family in the highest heaven but will be separated forever, that is a heavy message to grow up hearing and believing.

————————————————————

The reputation for the church violently hating LGBT people comes from the Church's past, and some of it fairly recent.

When I was growing up in the 1970's and the 1980's, simply saying that you are gay was enough to result in excommunication and being declared an enemy to God. An apostle gave a talk where he approved of violence against gays. You could stay if you tried to change these "tendencies," which could include electro-shock therapy at BYU. The violence and hostility against gay individuals caused a great deal of trauma.

Sometime in the 1980's, it was determined it's okay if you never eliminate these attractions, but you are to keep this secret and act like the heterosexuals. Gays were encouraged to enter mixed-orientation marriages, have kids and live like a straight person and everything would be alright. If it didn’t work out, then you weren’t strong enough. Most of the mixed-orientation marriages failed and the queer spouse was rejected. Also, the Church fully entered the fight against the legalization of gay marriage in Hawaii.

In the 2000's, the Church made a distinction between gay feelings and gay behaviors. It's okay to have feelings as long as you don't act on them. While the Church officially stopped encouraging mixed-orientation marriages, local leaders unofficially continued to encourage them. The Church raised most of the funds and marshalled most of the volunteers in the fight in California for prop 8, which made gay marriage illegal again, and also efforts in other states to add constitutional amendments to ban gay marriages. This is also when the Church changed to saying "same sex attraction" (SSA) instead of "gay" as a way to say this isn’t part of you but a temporary thing. SSA was compared to addictions. Queer people no longer had to remain hidden, so they found each other and attended conferences together and encouraged each other. They were no longer invisible in the church but largely kept silent. Most members admired their struggle but didn't know about mental health challenges or other challenges.

Since 2015, it's been okay to identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual. Messaging changed to say you're welcome to be in the church if you're LGBT and there's been efforts to allows gays who are celibate to have callings and remove barriers to participating in a number of ways. A lot of tolerance for gay people was shown unless they got married, at which time church discipline would swiftly move in. The Church knows it has lost the fight against gay marriage and gay rights but still fights in legislation and in court amicus briefs to retain the right to discriminate against LGBTQ people in its businesses and schools. In 2019, the Church officially abandoned conversion therapy. This period also is marked by the church & BYU granting more freedoms then taking steps backwards, then taking steps forward and then back again, it's kinda exhausting, and once you've been allowed more, it's hard to accept less.

Things are much better from where they were and I hope they continue to improve.

[stilljuststardust]

hey,i dont want to be one of those people but i dont really have anyone to talk to… so thank you for being here for us. how do i keep being motivated and sure that i will wake up in my DR if that just doesn’t happen. I was sure that i would wake up there cause i already am there you know?I was really confident like no doubting though i was aware of. i just let myself relax into it. i just have to move my awareness like how hard can it be. i dont believe there is anything i have to change about my mindest or anything that could be holding me back. like im sure in myself most of the time and i know the 3D doesn’t matter but i somehow still let it influence me. i dont wanna sound like one of the people who is like i dont believe that i can shift cause believe me i KNOW I CAN. but i disappoint myself? it seems like i dont fully trust myself if i keep waking up here. hope you understood what i wanted to say. its my journey and nobody can make me shift i know… just kinda wanted to talk to someone hope you dont mind🙁

Posts I think you would benefit from:

What I do after a "failed" attempt

How to deal with the 3D

The way we think of shifting sets us up to "fail"

You're not doing anything wrong I swear

Hello love, I'm sorry you're feeling this way.

You don't have to be motivated, you don't have to feel good, you don't have to feel enlightened 24/7, you just have to know that there is more than what you're seeing.

We all have moments like this, it doesn't have to mean you've done something wrong. Reading into it and trying to find what went "wrong" won't do anything but stress you out.

There. Doesn't. Have. To. Be. A. Reason.

There is NO "being held back", there are no blockages. Nothing can stop you unless you believe that it can. I want to tell you that what you're doing IS enough, but some words sound hollow coming from other people.

I know you're probably SO tired of hearing affirm and persist, sometimes it just feels like being shrugged at when you ask for help, and I'm sorry that you're feeling worn down.

You're not stuck, you're not waiting, I promise in the 4D you are where you want to be. Your only job is to remember who you really are and what is really happening. The physical world doesn't tell the whole story, only you can do that.

I know it's so scary to trust that it's working. Trust me, we've all been there, it's OK. You're not doing anything wrong.

It's OK to have rough days. It's ok to have days where you feel awful and disappointed. It's not going to stop you unless you decide it will stop you.

It's completely unrealistic to expect anyone to have the perfect mindset. Do you think that successful shifters are immune to this? They aren't.

I know SO many people who shift consistently that still cry and scream and doubt themselves and feel stuck some days, and you know what? They still shift.

Nothing is stopping you I promise. Don't go looking for blockages. I wasted the beginning of my journey in a constant cycle of trying to find the next blockage to eliminate, what I didn't realize is that if you go looking you'll always find them.

The belief that I must've been doing something wrong and "all I had to do was find it", WAS the problem.

I beg you not to make the same mistake.

Know that even if you aren't seeing it, it's still happening for you.

[daily-hanamura]

[basilpaste]

sometimes i think too hard about the fact that im disabled and it is genuinely and unironically upsetting. being in pain all the time is terrifying.

[leatherbookmark]

oh god okay i understand that maybe not everyone is as indecisive/comfortable with saying "it depends!" as me, but like, i'm sorry, i'm sorry, but i just can't take people who call izzy a villain seriously

[lordiavolo]

to be like frank here, redemption is an ever going cycle. when youve been the problem, the toxic ex, the abuser, you have to know you will have to apologize for that for the rest of your life. you will always have to live with the guilt and conscience of knowing how you hurt that person, or mutliple people. and you have to constantly CHOOSE to not repeat that behavior, and its not easy.

when you meet a new friend the topic of who you used to be will come up eventually, and if you have changed youll be honest with who you were. you cant run from it. you cant try to round the corners and make it seem like the other persons fault, or like it wasnt as bad as it was. its really really scary. because everytime you open up about it, its not just the wound of guilt but its also the fear that theyre going to look inside and not like what theyll see.

but you have to keep moving on and you have to keep being honest. and you have to remember that everyone is applicaple for redemption, you just have to work for it and admitting you were wrong with no buts is the first step.

[valoale]

I’m starting to be convinced my dog is having joint/structural damage pain and I’m scared

[ban-joey]

sending laser beams to my professor with my mind. kenneth you said midterm grades would b up by this afternoon. it is officially TONIGHT and guess what? kenneth i would love to not be clenching my teeth in my sleep tonight. kenneth i will be sending you a bill in the mail. yes i know its probably a TAs responsibility but i blame you personally. i hate school

[scarycranegame]

a bit of a more serious post than usual so if you don't really wanna see that, i won't be upset at all if you keep scrolling.. the only reason why this is under a cut is because i myself don't really wanna look at it every time i scroll through my blog (is that a thing people do?? or am i just very self absorbed??? LMAO)

i'm a little concerned about urban himself and the direction he's taking his series.

like.. i'm all for creative expression, and i'm all for the idea of nobody policing anyone else's creative work for what can and can't be done in a certain narrative (let alone fiction in general), but i feel like the more interaction urban has had with his fanbase and the analog horror community in general, the more it's been affecting both him and his series.

i think that i should address his twitter presence and """controversy""" first, because that's the thing that's on everyone's mind when they hear "urbanspook" at this point.

i wanna preface this by saying that i fucking hate how people have been responding to all of this. what chezzkids and pastra are doing & have done is, indeed, harassment; they aren't criticizing urban's series, they're saying it shouldn't exist. both pastra and chezzkids can be quoted saying effectively the same thing: "urban should not have a platform, and by supporting him and his art, we're encouraging other people to make things similar to it, and that's bad." if you don't see the problem with that, let me spell it out for you: these are fascist, pro-censorship views that align with those of harmful far-right ideologies which call for the suppression of content made by and in support of marginalized people. if you're willing to overlook that because "icky shock horror bad!!!!", then i think you should log off of the internet and spend some time re-evaluating your perception of the world and those around you, especially those who are different than you. this man has been the victim of a targeted harassment campaign for, at most, a full year, and mocking him for lashing out as a result of said harassment is far more ableist than the phrase "autistic furry horror" will ever be.

with that being said, i greatly dislike the way urban conducts himself on twitter. yes, i know it's supposed to be ironic; yes, i know he's "trolling" and that everything he says on there is disingenuous..

...but this is the internet.

no one is going to genuinely believe it's all a big joke, no matter how many times urban says it and no matter how true it may be. they already don't see him from a very positive perspective, even if they don't have much of a justifiable reason to do so (although their reasoning is understandable to an extent), so playing up a purposefully "edgy, immature, rage-bait" persona might drive people away who may have otherwise been interested in the series. i've seen several testimonials from people who enjoy the series and have even created fan work, but are put off by urban's behavior on twitter, and some people have even gone so far as to claim that the series in of itself is objectively bad and devoid of any value solely because of the twitter situation despite not having watched a single video in the series. yeah, the whole point of the joke may be self-parody, the punchline might be that urban is playing up the analog horror community's wildly inaccurate perception of how he is as a person, but i feel like the joke's gone on a little bit too long to still be anything but harmful to urban and his presence on the internet. he's stated that after finishing his current series, he wants to step away from analog horror altogether and work on other things, but i fear that if the twitter antics continue the way they're going, that might not end up happening; either due to a lack of willingness on his part (after all, being around so much negativity for such a long time typically affects people very adversely), or due to a lack of remaining audience.

despite my concerns, however, it must be said that i don't know what any other communities he's active in are like, and if i had to guess, i would assume that his future work under the "urbanspook" name would be more in tune with his actual interests pertaining to the horror genre as opposed to anything in the orbit of the analog horror community. i could be completely wrong about the twitter business, and urban's effectiveness at creating things completely divorced from analog horror may not be compromised in the slightest. however, as a fan of his analog horror series, i still feel that it's important to suggest this possibility: even after it's finished, The Painter will still exist, and its association with this particular time in urban's online endeavors may make some people wary of giving it a chance when they otherwise may have enjoyed it.

speaking of urban's work, i think i should elaborate more on how urban's interactions with his fanbase are affecting the series itself as opposed to him and his online presence.

to put my view of where things are going in terms of urban's handling of the series, i remember reading a magazine interview with him at some point (i think it was either right before or right after PIGS was released) where he mentions that he got the idea of there being two killers from fan theories, which!! on paper it seems like a cool thing to do!! but recently with all of these new lore additions (ex., mask guy missing his face and acting like a dog, painter being female, revealing the killers' names at all, the episodes not being in chronological order, etc.), i'm starting to notice a sort of "matpat effect" (to coin a phrase) going on, where he's writing the story in such a way that canonizes fan theories just for the sake of canonizing those fan theories.. i don't find it very difficult to believe that all the people in his instagram/youtube comments asking the same exact questions over and over may have influenced his writing decisions a bit, and even though he himself has admitted he isn't the best writer, i think that the earlier episodes are the strongest of the series (sans PIGS and FAMILY, i love those two with all my heart and soul) and that urban's writing is best when it isn't influenced by the fanbase. (if anyone wants me to elaborate on this, let me know!! i might make a post at some point about what i think is different between the first few episodes and the newer episodes if anyone wants me to; i think legitimately analyzing this series is super fun and i have a lot of things to say about it!!)

all in all, i'm just really worried about urban. in the beginning, he seemed so adamant about being individual and unique with his series and his online presence; he defied so many expectations that people had regarding analog horror and those who create it and seemed so much happier to work on this series... but now it seems like he just wants to get it all over with so he can work on things he actually wants to work on, and all anyone sees him as is a caricature of someone who never even really existed in the first place outside of a moment of completely justified rage. his heart isn't in it anymore; at least, it doesn't seem like it to me, and i really hope that eventually all of this superficial, reactionary """controversy""" bullshit blows over and that maybe urban's remaining time in the analog horror community can be made at least a little bit more pleasant.

[insomnia-productions]

watched the exorcist believer today and affirmed once and for all that i just cannot watch Evil Child horror

my child psychologist brain was screaming nonstop the entire time

especially with this possession type shit. sir that’s not a demon, that’s just a normal 13 year old girl

[aeide-thea]

i love and cherish my armpit hair (which i realize is like. Smacks of Hella Basic White Feminism, except, you know, possibly a little more complicated when it's for very extremely trans reasons), but the fact that it's so blond and wispy as to be almost invisible in photos is a serious disappointment to me every time

[mrfoox]

I'm going to struggle to sleep and get up tomorrow

Curse it all

[cynicalundead]

grrgr gr grrr grr gr blowing up bitches with my mind