#character roast asks

[sassypantsjaxon]

Okay, so now that I've finished One Piece, I'm going to tell you all about some things I had figured out before I started reading it, I just hadn't quite figured them out right...

Okay, start with the big one. I genuinely thought that (for the most part) this was just a big fun 27 year treasure hunt. I had no idea about the overarching plot with the world government and void century and what the fuck is going on

I knew pretty much everyone was an orphan, but my gosh. Some of those backstories are really traumatic.

I really expected Shanks to have a bigger/mentorship role. He's shown up like. half a dozen times. Luffy hasn't seen him since he was a kid

I also expected Buggy to be a bigger villain. No. He's just some idiot who somehow failed his way to the top. I love it.

Kay. So I knew Ace died. But for some reason I thought it was a more recent thing. No, it's been like 15 years, I had no idea

I knew Ace and Luffy were brothers. And I knew Ace was Roger's son. And I knew Luffy was Dragon's son. But I learned all of these at different times long before I decided to read one piece, so I never thought about it enough to go 'hey hang on that doesn't add up'

Similarly, I knew Kinemon had said he was Momonosuke's father, and I also knew Momonosuke was Oden's son. But I never thought that hard about that one either

I knew one of the warlords was a Doflamingo, and I knew Law was raised by a Doflamingo. I did not realize they were two seperate people. I was so confused before I read Law's backstory

I knew Momo and Kaido were dragons, and I knew the celestial dragons were a thing, but I didn't know what they were, so I was expecting more actual dragons. I was very disappointed to find out they're just rich assholes.

Also, you guys really sold zosan. They didn't interact nearly as much as I was expecting.

[quinloki]

Has anyone asked for law yet cause I wanna see you roast him

XD

Who in their right mind wants to date the dude who looks like he’s one “can you look at this rash?” away from lighting the entire grand line on fire?

He smells vaguely of weed and severely of coffee. Those bags under his eyes have enough traveler’s miles to ride first class anywhere in the world.

There’s stressed and then there’s whatever this My College Debt Led Me to Piracy has going on. Here’s hoping he survives the revenge plan with 37 variable plans detailed in it, maybe sometime next millennium he’ll have enough spare time to take you on a date that he’s going to have to cut short because someone has a rash he needs to go look at.

Honestly, i’d probably see him more often if I dated Penguin.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Y'know I think it's wild i can yell into an abyss that I'm bored and hold up an ask game and people come out of the woodwork to send me things what a wild and crazy thing thanks guys I appreciate you so much ur all so cool bless

[pixiestickie]

I'm afraid it's not a universal experience, Pixie. You are just a "kinnie" as internet people call it..

!! EVERYONE IS SO MEAN TO ME!!!!!!!!!!! AZUL HAS A POINT FOR WANTING JAMIL SO BAD !!! !!!! ITS NOT MY FAULT!!!!!!!!

[saints-who-never-existed]

For the ask game: least favourite Terror character 🫣😢

Fuuuck, I didn't expect this to be quite so difficult - I've been thinking about it for days!

Honestly? Incredibly unpopular opinion, but my gut-answers are Crozier and Hickey, at least as far as major characters go (as previously mentioned, I sometimes have a hard time engaging with the storylines of certain more minor characters like Sophia and Lady Jane).

Just to be clear, I DO NOT hate Crozier or Hickey. I enjoy thinking about them at great length, I find them to be fantastic, engaging characters, and I very much subscribe to the idea that they can be fantastic and engaging without having to be good people.

But with all that said - FUCK ME, are they not good people, and fuck me do I find that fact so hard to get past sometimes!

[raymurata]

perhaps the most impossible ask: reasons why oak is problematic

See, I was just talking to @skullhaver and @ghosty-ana about that.

And here's the thing, Oak falls in love in 3 days, man. Next question.

Lol. XD but like, I'm not joking, they're ready to peel tangerines for Gal, and they've known each other for a month and flirted for literally 3 days. This fucking idiot has no chill, they're gonna u-haul Gal within six months of this relationship, if Gal lets them. 😂 They have so much love to give they might suffocate Gal with it. They'll try not to. XD A complete fool, a clingy buffoon, um tolo romântico.

And they don't let anyone sleep because they're such a blabbermouth. Problematic for the Moonlighters and Galsariad in particular. Also, they cry at the drop of a hat. They cry over everything and then some.

Class consciousness overkill? Too woke for their time, anachronistic; bad indigenous rep bc they have taken on the colonizer religion and also technology and magic. Also I didn't research the patterns on their clothes enough or choose any one culture to base myself on, I just made my own fantasy culture adding onto CR lore ( adding more nuance to CR lore).

And as Liv pointed out, they have an extremely badly calibrated love and friendship care bear beam xD The little guy (gender neutral) just spills out people's shit in the gentlest yet most brutal ways possible, and then just look cute and like, no one ever gets mad at them. They do think that being adorable and whimsy will get them far -- they know very well how to be serious and gloom, but you catch more flies with honey. Please protect me I am small. Also, can you give me a hug? -puppy eyes- Little shit knows exactly how irresistibly sweet they are.

Also, they fit the "child-like, innocent, uwu asexual character" trope. And not only that, an ace character whose backstory touches heavily on the matter of sex. I'm pretty sure a lot of people would come for my neck (others would relate, I hope. I try my best to handle this with utmost care and proper narrative weight, like everything else in Tarlyn's story), so like, yeah, oof.

Problematic little guy would get canceled or infantilized by the fandom.

Finally, they smoke tobacco. Like, everyone has to have an irredeemable flaw, amirite?

[todayisafridaynight]

So he’s fuckable but people personally wouldn’t fuck him… okay that is interesting for the majority but hey it’s a similar to Gohan where he’s very handsome but I don’t think everyone would fuck him. For me it’s Ichi and Gohan all the way ❤️❤️❤️ I feel like when we do the Daigo poll we going to get that thirst!!!

tumblr decrees ichi in fact has game, they just personally wouldn't be a player... interesting but can't complain bout it

anyway daigo time please don't disappoint me

[sesshy380]

✨️✨️✨️ Make a roast post for a YGO character, then send this ask to your mutuals ✨️✨️✨️

I can roast just about any YGO DM character.

However, it's best I don't because I can be quite ruthless, and like a can of Pringles I can't stop at just one (@baku-go can confirm lol)

[delusional-mishaps]

drew the sillies at work 🫶🫶

[spxcemuses]

@ask-paradox-and-friends asked: Hey Jack how come you didn't tell anyone you can rap? (https://youtu.be/PoF1vnGvTtI?si=3s0XpsvtVqb1NOvb)

[ Random Ask ] | Always Accepting

Thank you for the ask! Please ask me before continuing it into a thread.

" I can what now? "

Jack raises a brow in indifference, acting like he hadn't heard you properly. However, he had; he was simply trying to think about what nonsense you were talking about this time. He has had a bunch of enemies and rivals he's encountered, so him not remembering about that was justified in his opinion. After a moment of thought, the memory comes back and part of him is both humored and embarrassed. Oh yeah, he does remember having a back-and-forth with the human equivalent of an egg!

" Oh yea, that. Well, guess I'm just full of surprises, huh? "

He interjects with sarcasm in his tone, feeling apathetic about it for the most part.

" Too bad I lost. Had to give that egg-head something for his dumb machine or whatever-it-was in exchange for an artifact I was after. I could've scrambled him in the end, as much as I wanted to, but I didn't. Just... don't tell anyone that I do more than make pies, got it? Otherwise I'll have to kill ya. "

[quinloki]

I'm here to inquire: why wouldn't you date Katakuri? 👀✨️ (I can think of so many reasons lmao)

Let's not even begin to touch the In-Laws from literal hell, and the world's most demanding and controlling mother. The Library of congress couldn't house the list I have - Alphabetical by birth - with the vast majority of the Charlotte family and why I would not want to be associated with them*.

But I wouldn't date Katakuri because I have a size kink sure, but I need some good old fashioned functionality in there somewhere. I'm 5'00" I'm not even coming up to this man's knee, and the squeaky toy voice the gods cursed me with isn't making the trip 16' up to be heard as it is.

He gets his rocks off one time and I'm left tasting krispy kreme mochi-nut for the next week every time I burped. I don't mind being the snack in the relationship, but being literally bite-sized is a little too much. You'd have to put a buzzer on me when we went to bed, if he rolls over the wrong way the foghorn sound is going to be the only thing that saves me.

*Brulee's the bomb though, she gets a pass.

[ferromagnetiic]

Fuck wonderwall, play Anarchy in the UK

          【 UNPROMPTED ASK. 】       « Modern verse. »      « Continued. »                     【 ANONYMOUS. 】

          ❝ I said I ain't takin' requests, piss off. It ain't part of the set. ❞

Somebody can't perform a decent sounding cover of John Lydon's vocals when he's got a deep-ass voice and a falsetto with a time limit.

...Besides, he prefers Discharge and Misfits. Just because he doesn't want to play Wonderwall doesn't mean he'll settle for songs by any punk band; especially not one that comes with so much baggage.

[brookheimer]

I just need to let u know I literally have my x-coded y-girl quiz results tab permanently open on my phone, it’s a more accurate glimpse into my soul than anything I’ve ever read (and I’m used to uquizzes being rude so no hard feelings there). You are a psychic and I’m scared of your immense powers

Also I’m your opposite type, hiiiiii

ahahhaah omg i am honored <3 glad to be of service! my psychic skillz know no parallel

[ladyryukyo]

❔ and 📝 for the ask game

❔Choose a random WIP and talk about it.

hmm alright i think im just gonna talk about the one i am closest to posting and add a snippet of it for the second thing ^_^

so this is the unpopular character prompt and i chose demure because he is awesome and i love him. ofc i had to add kyoya. honestly was very excited to try out the demure/kyoya ship for the first time, its been a lot of fun so far figuring out their dynamic and how they would work together as a duo especially considering how little they actually interact in the show.

it was hard for me to imagine kyoya being kind(?) enough to demure for their relationship to work without changing their original dynamic much. thats why i had to set this post-fury and establish how these characters changed and how they see each other differently now.

the fic itself is a little short, probably around 2k when im done, but because of what i mentioned above i spend way too much time establishing their dynamic and what they think of each other (or rather what demure thinks of kyoya) than on their actual date lol; not that demure knows that its a date

tbh i really enjoyed working on something fluffy and cute after the last fic i posted which was just an angst fest. i could really see myself writing these two more often.

📝Share a snippet of an unposted WIP, with or without context.

It's so different to see Kyoya again. Demure has always had a bit of some kind of hero worship for Kyoya, ever since that first meeting at the qualifiers for the world championships. Kyoya had been confident and steadfast and strong and Demure had learnt a lot from him. To believe in himself and trust in his own abilities, to fight for the victories that really matter. Demure has grown more of a backbone since then and he attributes that, too, to Kyoya. At least, in part.

And now everything is different from then. Looking back, Demure now realizes that Kyoya used to be a bit of an ass, that his confidence constantly teetered on arrogance, that he never trusted them as much as they trusted and depended on him. It feels good to be able to look back and pick apart all their interactions and Kyoya's little mannerisms in a way he couldn't before, because his understanding of Kyoya has increased quite significantly.

[exlibrisfangirl]

Character: Anne Bonny

(A.K.A. Smol angry pirate lady)

do I like them: Her tag is "pirate queen of my heart" for a reason.

5 good qualities: Loyal, resilient, brave, badass, has PIERCING BLUE EYES AND FLAMING RED HAIR. *swoons*

3 bad qualities: look... she's a bitch (but we love her anyway, okay?), GRUMPY, crass af

favourite episode/scene/etc: 4x4, when she wins Pirate Fight Club. PEAK feminist badassery. I would have done ANYTHING for her after that.

otp: I know my tag for her and Jack says BROTP, but they're honestly more like queer-platonic partners, so I'd say Jack for both OTP and BROTP.

brotp: (see above)

ot3: I don't really have one, but I don't dislike the concept of Max/Anne/Jack.

notp: I don't think I have one for her? I don't like her in any relationship that doesn't involve Jack, though.

best quote: Anne honestly doesn't talk much... and when she does, it's usually about 50% swearing, lol.

My favorite serious quote from her, though, is this: “And every time I said my name, they knew my name. The first thing they said every time was your name. Like we was two halves of the same thing. I can't be your wife, Jack. But you and I are gonna be partners till they put us in the fucking ground.” <- This is the quote I sourced their tag name from.

head canon: I headcanon her as bisexual/pansexual and nonbinary/genderfluid, which I think is fairly widespread amongst the fandom. (I don't interact with the BS fandom much, so my perspective is limited, but I've seen some posts about this in passing.)

give me a character and i'll answer

[qcomicsy]

Duke was Robin. He had an entire 12issue comic about it! :D

Hey! Thanks for telling me, could you tell me which issues was?

I was pretty sure he was only Robin in the Future's end timeline, I did some research but couldn't find anything on it. But, tbh Duke as robin is definitely something I would like to read it (his dynamic with Bruce is just 🤌🤌)

I do prefer him as Signal though, is where the boy shines (pun intended)