#choices became a parody is all i wanted to say basically

[liviusofpella]

A BIT OF A PERSONAL RANT UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE THIS IS FUCKING RIDICULOUS, WHAT PB'S BEEN DOING FOR A WHILE:

the way the quality and diversity of their books just disappeared should be studied, it's ridiculous what this app has become. the description of each new story sounds literally the same, just in different words, and the execution of those stories is simply pathetic. i wonder if the group of players who enjoy those stories is that big and that influential that they decided to lean into their demands? cause most of the tumblr fandom keeps criticising every aspect of their new stories and from what i've seen in insta comments people start complaining as well. so who enjoys those stories and pays for the vip and diamonds? which by the way is a rip-off for the quality they provide. the characters are bland, the plot predictable, the reusing of characters, backgrounds and music is irksome, MCs have an entire big round zero of personality, everyone is always happy and all sunshines and rainbows to the point of barfing. pb literally never listens to their players. their representation of minorities is pathetic, and don't get me started on the genderlocking. main characters are either helpless women who have tons of friends to help them in everything and are at the same time the most influential and hottest people on earth OR a strong, empowered woman, the epitome of girl power who does nothing to show that except for barking out pathetic "owns" which are supposed to end a misogynist's entire life, i suppose. all MCs are coded as cis white women, the race or gender do not matter. i suppose that's pb's way of catering to the readers' demands. pb KNOWS how to make great stories and has the resources, so what is it? are they that lazy and cheap? did they take their readers for granted waay to much? perhaps if they didn't assume that every story has to have romance as the most important part, their stories would've been much more interesting. i'm sorry, but at this point many of the readers' fanfics are much much better in terms of quality. i haven't been able to get past chapter one of any of the new stories for a hot minute now because they're so not engaging and bland.

[rascalentertainments]

"Wish Granted" AU: Asha

All right, you voted for Asha and her family first, so here we go! (Above concept Art by Bill Schwab. I was really drawn to this one, so I'm gonna use thus as her design.

So for this Wish AU, Asha was raised partially in Rosas as a kid, but then after father passed, and some of the citizens learned of Magnifico's true intentions, her family and other citizens quietly moved to the Hamlet known as "The Enchanted Forest". (Basically reached age 12 in Rosas, and then 13-18 in the Hamlet.)

As a kid, she was full of curiosity about the world around her, especially wildlife. She learned about how the stars guided people from her father Tomás, which inspired to want to see more of the world outside the Kingdom. When her father grew ill for seemingly unknown reasons, Asha's mother Sakina pleaded with the King to heal him. The man promised her this, but time went on and eventually Tomás passed. Maginifico had never intended to help.

Because of this, Asha grew to be more pessimistic as she got older. She no longer believed in the impossible or anything good to happen relying on magic, or anyone else to solve her problems for that matter. Even so, part of her desire for excitement still lingered, and nobody knew this better than her grandfather Sabino, whom she grew closer with over the years and became a second father to her.

With her wonder all but gone, she would end up getting help to save her family from the most unexpected source. For she wished on a Star, and the Star answered.

Now since Asha got along with other kids when she was little, part of that still stays with her, as she does read to the other kids there from time to time. (Think of this as a reference to Belle, who also loved to read) Even though she lost part of her childhood, didn't mean they had to lose theirs. So she enjoyed reading stories to them.

As for my choice of a Voice Actress, surprisingly my mother suggested Diamond White. Right now she's mainly known for being Lunella in "Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur" She's already a talented singer and play a range of emotions while still acting in character for her.

For Sakina, I'm still planning her story out, but I can say that she does have a wish herself. It is in fact is similar to Asha's, but I'll reveal more in the story.

Sabino.....he was so underutilized in the movie, its criminal. Victor Garber deserved better. While he's not 100 years old, he is in his late 80's. Normally, he's a spry old man and actually still carries a lot of youth in his personality. However, with his wish never being granted, its started to affect his health. He does his best to stay active and gives advice to Asha during that "Wishing Tree" Scene. When his health starts to deteriorate faster and renders him nearly bedridden, this starts Asha drive to return to Rosas and save everyone's wishes

And lastly: Valentino!

No, Valentino doesn't speak in this version. 😅 That'll be saved for the end, and he'll be voiced by an actual kid. (Disney, we didn't need a Donkey knock off, you do realize he was a parody right?) He might be only be three weeks old, but he's very attached to Asha from the start. He was a gift to her by Sabino as an early 18th birthday present in case his declining kept him from celebrating it with her.

The little goat is the runt of the litter, but has the heart the size of the forest itself. Always sticking by Asha's side and cheering her up when she really needs it.

Valentino is also very trusting of new people, but when Star comes down he does freak the heck out and doesn't him for a while. I mean he's not even human!

Oh and just as an extra character addition, I'm also having Flazino in this AU, since many people pointed out he was originally part of the film and had a bigger role. He's closest to a human friend Asha has in the Hamlet, as he gives them supplies and updates about the kingdom as Magnifico's apprentice.

That wraps up my first character list! Next up will be Star and then the King and Queen. Hope you enjoyed reading this preview to the story, or have any suggestions in the comments! 🌟

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ways i want stede to be taken down a notch by his crew in season 2:

stede was only the captain of The Revenge because he had money. he did nothing to earn his position elon musk, anybody? but in season 2 he doesn't have that anymore. i would love a conversation where the crew really spells out for stede that they don't owe him shit. i would really love a full episode abt stede proving to the crew that he's worth following. just more building on the scene from episode 9 where the crew is standing up for him and stede says the bit about "a people-positive management style." really dig into what actually makes a good leader, and what about stede's personality that makes him actually worth following.

i want to see stede really come to terms with olu's line about "we don't do this because we like it, we do this because we don't have any other choice." in the first episode stede blew past this line because he was still operating on wilful ignorance ("some of us thrive on danger!"), and then it was immediately overshadowed by stede realizing his life was literally in danger. he never really thought about what it meant to not have any choice about this lifestyle. and now that he doesn't have all his money, he's got a lot less options than before, but he still has a connection to high society that the rest of his crew doesn't.

sort of in the same vein: stede realizing the privilege of being able to read. when lucius tells him none of the other crew members can read, stede sort of... scrunches his face in disgust?? which is crazy to me. literally what kind of people did he think became pirates???

yknow what actually the last two things can be summed up as just: stede realizes how much harder everyone else's life has been. maybe like, an episode where we see how stede ended up hiring everyone, what they told him when they were applying to the job versus the real reasons they ended up on The Revenge. god this could easily be done in a parody of real-life modern interviews: "why do i want this job? oh, i'm just really passionate about this field and i love being a pirate so much! i'm totally a team player and i love working for long hours and living with my life literally constantly in danger :)" and stede is just like "wow! you sound like a real go-getter!"

would like to see stede and the gang trying to steal a ship, and stede realizing how much of a leg up he started with by building his own fucking ship. i mentioned this a bit here but i will truly never get over this. he built his ship. he built his ship. literally what kind of pirate builds their fucking ship. what the actual fuck. yeah calico jack is an asshole but he literally had a point where he called stede a store-bought pirate.

last but not least: i need the crew to give stede shit for making the Black men on his crew pretend to be slaves in the first episode. this bit, more than anything else, is what i want to see addressed next season. maybe tie it in to the first thing on this list: stede is coming up with a plan, and it involves pretending to have money, and as he's coming up with the strategy he tells olu and roach "and you'll pose as my help again" and they both decide "actually, fuck that, we're not doing that shit again for you." they tell him how much that shit sucked, how degrading and uncomfortable that was, and they point out that he's not really their boss anymore. just... god i rlly want the crew to call him out for this.

basically, stede's growth in season one was learning about how the things he sees as his weaknesses (being non-violent, being emotional, being "feminine" because he likes clothes and flowers and fancy interior design) are at worst just neutral traits and at best are actually his biggest strengths, and coming to terms with how the fact that he didn't fit in his old life isn't just because he's not good enough, it's just not the world for him. i want his arc in season 2 to be about actually learning about this new world he's chosen to live in, learning that it's not just the thrilling adventure he thought it was, and basically just learning that his experiences are not universal.

[fermented-writers-block]

Man, Civil Wart is such a strange episode when you look back. With Matt talking about how a whole bunch of stuff from S1 will return for S3B, I’m honestly kind of struggling to think of ways it could be relevant between the inconsequential ship war caused by Love Choi-

…

Wait.

Hold on a second.

“In the not so distant future, three grounded yet supernatural teens-”

THREE STARS BURNING BRIGHT

“-must navigate their feelings if they hope to survive.”

SHOULD THEY FIGHT OR EMBRACE THE FALL

THEIR CHOICE WILL DETERMINE ALL

Man, that introductory narration basically described the entire basic idea of Amphibia before we ever became aware of it, doesn’t it. Like my friend @mira-blue​ would say, I wonder what else that episode might lead to…

Honestly, with the distinction Anne gave in Civil Wart that Love Choice 2 was still being made, it makes me look at how Love Choice ended with Constance being taken away while Hunter and Alistair both declaring they will rescue her, and how that very ending split the town of Wartwood between the differing leaderships of the two figures who most embodied/identified with Constance’s respective potential love choice.

While Love Choice’s general premise and the ensuing ship war is a pretty clear parody of the Twilight series and its infamous shipping wars, I can’t help but find the color choices and the way the townsfolk emulated either love interest for said ship war VERY interesting to consider, especially given the upcoming S3B episode sypnosis:

Commander Anne - Anne is made leader of the Wartwood Resistance, even though she’s not good at the job.

With how Sasha presumably was the leader before then and an effective one at that, it has me wondering if the episode will end with Wartwood divided once more on whether to follow Sasha’s well established strong guidance, or to follow their strong emotional connection to Anne in spite of her lack of long term planning skills.

Or to borrow a bit more fitting terminology from a different lowkey S1 episode with potential to return in some manner for S3B, what if Civil Wart was potentially foreshadowing a future actual divide between the RED Townies and the PURPLE Farmers on who to listen to to stop Andrias - and by extension, differing approaches to rescuing the ‘Constance’ in this situation with Marcy?

After all, when you stop to look at Anne throughout the show as well as the trio’s concept art, Sasha has always been strongly associated with red/pink, while Anne -besides the VERY early concept during pitching- has always been strongly associated with purple even before blue explicitly entered the equation in the show.

Of course, such a future divide in the town would most likely not reach anywhere close to the extreme attitudes towards the other as Civil Wart depicted, but obviously, the Plantars at this point would definitely stick by Anne through thick and thin regardless of how well she does. Yet, for as much as Anne may want to help out from her newfound and sometimes-very-unhealthy drive to take on responsibilities as folks like @borkthemork and @pyroclastic727 have detailed before, that wouldn’t necessarily translate over to being a good leader in the long run. She's been able to come up with plans on the fly like in The Dinner and True Colors, but I'm not sure she has the head for strategic planning over extended periods of time.

In contrast to the Plantars, Wartwood has presumably gotten used to working with Sasha in Anne’s absence, and Sasha simply is a much more natural long term leader and planner than Anne is, which could draw some quite interesting lines between those who want to stick with Sasha’s approach for the resistance and those who pick Anne’s, and how they may still try to figure out how to work together with a common enemy.

On top of that, a majority of Wartwood wanting to return back to Sasha’s leadership could easily lead into addressing some behind the scenes development for her, as while she learned to stop being so controlling and manipulative in Turning Point, it would not at all be surprising if it turns out she might have reversed a bit too far in the opposite direction, and this episode could be a starting step to help nudge Sasha towards a healthier medium between the two extremes.

For an example scenario, if Sasha basically cedes authority to Anne the instant they reunite out of fearing becoming overcontrolling all over again, that could involve something like Sasha blindly and wholeheartedly trying to follow any direction Anne gives her while completely refusing to share or stand up for her own input, even if her own input really would be much more effective.

Overall, I feel real meat of the episode would come from just how exactly Anne became leader, as either Sasha put Anne in charge instead of herself, Wartwood collectively chose her out of the emotional attachment, and or Anne might have tried picking up the responsibility out of a partial desire to help and potentially partially as a response to the trauma/issues she might face in Escape to Amphibia/as a result of her trust issues from True Colors.

And from that, finding the healthier middle ground between them -and by extension the two groups that may be accidentally formed between them- might be a bit more difficult or longer than Anne anticipated all the way back in The New Normal, hence how a shock like a significant majority of Wartwood sticking with Sasha would fit into all of this.

Also, damn could a bit of an organizational split between Anne and Sasha’s approach potentially explain just why the episode sypnosis for Sprivy suggests there is some kind of divide between the titular couple for them to even have to “devise a scheme to be together” in the first place.

Now, with that said, to finish tying all this hypothetical speculation back to the very in-universe movie that inspired it, it will be rather interesting to see if, where, and when details about Love Choice 2 get dropped. After all, just like I brought up how the first movie’s ending and audience repercussions could turn out as foreshadowing for how the first half of Sasha and Anne’s reunion may go, the sequel might thus logically foreshadow some later details for however things proceed between the trio.

As for what could potentially have been foreshadowed by Hunter being a cyborg and Alastair being a deer, the use of sticks to represent the latter’s antlers would be a rather clever way of tying into the foliage in Anne’s hair and her Super form, but I’m kind of struggling to figure out how Hunter’s cybernetic eye could work with Sasha.

I know there’s the popular theory that Sasha will lose an eye, but I honestly just can’t see it happening as a way to make her parallel Hunter. Now, I could see that parallel working if instead, she kept both eyes and simply got an eye augmentation device she is able to wear and take off like the Scouter from Dragon Ball, but the only closest thing Sasha would have had access to would have been a growing bunch of broken frobot pieces from over the rebellion.

While Loggle did used to be a blacksmith, I highly doubt he would know how to fashion a device like that. I guess Polly might be able to figure out how to craft one for Sasha sometime after Anne and the Plantars get back and they adjust to Sasha, though that wouldn’t work if the idea is she got it during the time skip, and that would likely require there to be a precedence for humans to somehow be able to use/even WEAR frobot parts easily without needing much modifica-

…

Oh.

That could work.

Loggle does have a thing for pulling out frobot eyes after all...

[liya4kar]

Liyada’s Fics Masterpost

It was time I wrote a Fic Masterpost.

So for everyone who is interested by my fics, firstly I invit you on my AO3 where you can litteraly find everythng, especially since I don’t post the fics directly on Tumblr. 

And if you want the details, here we go!

Also here the plan, because the post is really long lmao-

I/ Pokespe

1. Multi-chap fics

a) Three Years

b) The Magical Dexholders

2. AUs

a) Yorozuya no Lack-chan

b) Legendary Dexholders

c) Blonde Family

d) Yokai AU

3. Stand-alone OS and Drabbles

a) OS

b) Drabbles

II/ Other fandoms

a) Champion (Marvel)

I/ Pokespe

1. Multi-Chap Fics

a) Three Years

This one is my baby, the one I had been working on for 2 years and a half, the one I progressed the more in, and also the one I haven’t updated in a year even if I have 6 chapters ready to post, cause I’m lazy af. Also the ones where you can very easily see how much my writing progressed since I started writing for Pokéspe.

Warning: Graphic Description of Violence, Major Character Death (though this one is complicate and don’t fully apply)

Genre: Angst, Adventure.

Words Count: 69,567

Statut: In Progress

Characters: The whole Spe cast up to SM.

Relationship: Background Frantic, Entourage, Agency and Laverree, a lot of other friendships.

Summary: Some secrets should never be revealed. Or should they?

After a strange explosion, X and Y fear the apparition if a new threat for Kalos, and decide to get themselves implicate. But things are not as simple as they look, and nothing will go the way they want. And as those attacks take bigger scales and start to involve a large number of people, they would have no choice but to find the motive behind them to stop them; even if it means getting back on some bitter memories from three years ago they all would have preferred to forget...

List of chapters: Part I: Kalos

1. The Explosion

2. The Lumiose Badlands

3. Shalour City

4. The Attack

5. Next Action

6. Lumiose City

7. Blackout

8. Chase in Lumiose City

9. The Next Day

10. Couriway Town

11. Sunrise

12. Tic Tac

13. Terminus

Part II: Unova

14. A Day in Driftveil City I

14.5. A Day in Driftveil City II

15. Welcome to Unova I

15.5. Welcome to Unova II

16. The Twist Mountain I

16.5. The Twist Mountain II

b) The Magical Dexholders

This one is purely self-indulgent fic, where I basically write the dumbest thing that get in my mind. Aka some Dexholders become Magical Girls or Boys, but they’re dumb, but it’s okay because the bad guys, their friends and their world in general is dumb.

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: Parody, Humor, Friendship

Words Count; 27,944

Statut: In progress

Characters: The whole Spe cast up to SM, and some OCs

Relationship: Diamond & Silver, Blue & Yellow & Gold & Platinum, Green & Crystal & Pearl

Summary:

It’s an emergency! The Darkness Power Of The Terrible Evil has invading the Pokespe world and take over the region of Kanto! Some magical fluffy creatures needs help in order to stop the Darkness Power Of The Terrible Evil!

The day Dia met a strange professor fan of Magical Boy and a strange pink creature, he knew his life would never be the same...

In the meantime, Blue and Yellow have to face a terrible threat to get back their home, but get new abilities in exchange.

List of chapters:

1.  A story is not interesting if nothing go wrong in it

2.  If you are a Magical Boy, don't forget to take an insurance for building destruction!

3.  If the authorities say that a radioactive cloud did magically stop at the border, you can totally trust them!

4.  You can’t be a protagonist if you don’t have an ultimate move, a dark past or a secret identity!

5.  No matter how good it looks on TV, sh*t stay sh*t!

6.  An homage to a work becomes a fanfiction when it becomes an important part of the plot, you moron!

7. If you update on the 1st April everyone's gonna believe it's a joke, even if it isn't, so update on the 31st March!

2. AUs

Those fics are not multi-chap fics, but more like OS and drabbles that are related between each others.

a) Yorozuya no Lack-chan

Heavily inspired by Gintama, AU where Lack did not get back in Interpol and started doing odd jobs instead. Serie of Drabbles.

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: Parody, Humor, Friendship

Characters: Lack-Two, Whi-Two, X, Sun

Relationship: Lack-Two & Whi-Two, Lack-Two & X, Lack-Two & Sun

Summary:

When Whi-Two bumped into Lack-Two after months, she was not expecting him to went from Interpol officer to dog walker. And neither that he’d get her, and this guy from Kalos, to join he’s odd jobs agency.

List of chapters:

Dogwalker Lack-Two in action!

The Blazing Begining of Odd Jobs Yorozuya no Lack-Chan! 

b) Legendary Dexholders

In a world where being a legendary Pokémons can be boring, the legendary Pokémons decides to have a little bit of funs. Shenanigans ensue.

Aka the legendary Pokémons decides to become humans, and of course they happen to be our favorite DHs.

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: Friendship, Family, Supposed to be comic at first but also goes on the character study sometimes

Characters: Silver, Giratina, others for next OS.

Relationship: Implied Preciousmetal, Blue & Silver

Summary:

When Whi-Two bumped into Lack-Two after months, she was not expecting him to went from Interpol officer to dog walker. And neither that he’d get her, and this guy from Kalos, to join he’s odd jobs agency.

List of chapters: Giratina

c) Blonde Family

In which Yellow, Pearl, Bianca and Y are all cousins. Shenanigans enssue.

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: Family, Comedy, Crime

Characters: Yellow, Pearl, Bianca, Y

Relationship: Yellow & Pearl & Bianca & Y

Summary:

Family reunions are rarely all peace and calm. But when, out of four cousins, you have three Dexholders and a clumsy professor assistant, things are bond to be messy.

List of chapters: To be a cousin, Don't listen others confessions or you'll end as responsible as them

d) Yokai AU

What if yokai existed in the Spe universe? 

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: Supernatural, Friendship, Adventures

Characters: Pearl, Schilly

Relationship: Pearl & Schilly

Summary:

Pearl had first seen them when he was four years old. And he had learned to live with this world only he could see, to maintain his balance of a normal life.

He had just not expected one of his junior to also see them.

List of chapters: Chilling Party

3. Stand alone OS and drabbles

a) OS

Here you can find the 1K+ words stand-alone OS. Links are in the tittles!

A Good Christmas Movie is Made of Hot Chocolate and a Fire-Breathing Cat

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: Horror, Parody, Christmas, Hallmark Movie, Specord Winter Writing Event 2020

Words count: 4093

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Y, Sun

Relationship: Implied Laverree and Delivery shipping, Y & Sun

Summary:

Everything is perfect in Y's life. Too perfect, like in a Christmas Hallmark movie. Now, with a fire-breathing cat name Sun, it's up to her to find a way out of this Christmas hell.

One-shot wrote for the Winter Writing Event on the Specord, with the prompt X & Sun, Horror and Parody, My Life is a Hallmark Movie and PMD, and Chuck E Cheese's Ball Pit.

Celebi-rities in Distress

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: Parody, Friendship, TV Show

Words Count: 5017

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Sapphire, Lisia, Ruby, Emerald.

Relation Ship: Background Franticshipping, Sapphire & Lisia, Ruby & Emerald

Summary:

Sometimes, it only takes a silly TV show, weird games and arrogant prissy boys to make a new friends.

Or how Sapphire became friend with Lisia to teach Ruby and Emerald a good lesson.

Bonding on the Grand Line

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: One Piece AU, Pirate

Words Count: 2948

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Pearl, Cheren, Sinnoh and Unova Gym Leaders

Relation Ship: Pearl & Cheren, Mentionned Commoner Shipping, Past Pearl & Diamond & Platinum, Mentionned Cheren & Black

Summary:

In a world where Gold Roger is still an unknow name, Pearl and his crew left North Blue for the Grand Line. But are they ready for everything waiting them?

Of Swords & Of a Gun

Warning: No Warning applies

Genre: AU, Angst, 

Words count: 4209

Statut: Two-Shot, in progress

Characters: Pearl, Cheren, Sinnoh and Unova Gym Leaders

Relation Ship: Soudo & Bede, Bede & Rose, Soudo & Schilly, Schilly/Hop, Bede & Schilly & Hop

Summary:

In a world where everyone has a Sword, Bede is an abnormality who has a Gun.

In a world where the Tsurugi family is the best blacksmith clan of Galar, Soudo fails to meet people's expectations.

In a world where they have to fight and find their places, will the two of them discover why they exist? Maybe the answer had been in front of their eyes since the beginning.

Pallet Association

Warning: Graphic Description of Violence, Major Character Death <3

Genre: Cyberpunk AU, Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Kanto Week, Angst, Dystopia, May be a bit OOC for certain characters

Words count: 3637

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Green, Blue, Red, Yellow, Prof. Chen

Relation Ship: Green & Blue, Green & Blue & Red & Yellow, Green & Prof. Chen

Summary:

In Pallet City, one of the biggest megalopolis in the world, the Pallet Association controls everything. Blue, Red, Yellow, and Green decide that it needs to change.

But Green may have forgotten to mention a few details to them.

(This OS have two alternative endings because I couldn’t picke one)

Storytelling

Warning: No Warning Applies 

Genre: Fluff, Domestic, Comedy,  Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Johto Week

Words count: 2843

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Silver, Gold, Crystal

Relation Ship: Silver & Crstal & Gold

Summary:

Silver has apparently never heard a fairytale of his whole life, so Gold and Crystal decide to give him an express fairytale class. Turned out that it was a really bad idea.

Festival War

Warning: No Warning Applies

Genre: Comedy, Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Hoenn Week

Words count: 2843

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Emerald, Latias, Ruby, Sapphire

Relation Ship: Franticshipping, Emerald & Latias, Emerald & Ruby & Sapphire

Summary:

It's the summer, it's time for festivals, but with the Hoenntrio and their love for bets and contests, it could only go wrong.

Family Business

Warning: Craphic Description of Violence, Minor Character Deaths <3

Genre: Angst, Villain AU, tw: Drugs, Weapons, Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Sinnoh Week

Words count: 3596

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Platinum, Diamond, Pearl

Relation Ship: Implied Entourage

Summary:

Because she was the heir of the Berlitz family, she will continue to develop their wealth and their power, no matter what it takes. No matter if the path she’ll take was full of blood and corpses and crimes.

Parent-Teacher Reunion

Warning: No Warning Applies

Genre: Comedy, School life (but it’s still in the canon universe), Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Unova Week 1

Words count: 2638

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Cheren, Black, White, Bianca, Iris

Relation Ship: Agency Shipping, Cheren & Black & White & Bianca & Iris

Summary:

Did you ever wonder how was Black's school life? Well, welcome in this parent-teacher reunion where Cheren have some things to say about his childhood friend... 

Crimes Movies are Sad Except When Everyone is Dumb

Warning: No Warning Applies

Genre: Crime, Comedy, Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Unova Week 2

Words count: 5565

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Whi-Two, Lack-Two, Hugh

Relation Ship: Whi-Two & Lack-Two & Whi-Two

Summary:

It was a normal day for Whi-Two. A casting, a murder, two former classmates coming from nowhere... ... Wait, what?

Strength

Warning: No Warning Applies

Genre: Character Study, Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Kalos Week

Words count: 2198

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: (Malva’s) Delphox, Trevor, Furfrou, Floette

Relation Ship: Delphox & Trevor, Delphox & Furfrou & Floette

Summary:

Delphox was strong. Malva was strong, too, but Malva's had lost, so Malva was weak.

Delphox had lost too, but she could not admit she was weak too.

No, she was strong.

It was the boy who was weak.

Treasure

Warning: No Warning Applies

Genre: Negative Spe AU, Adventure, Friendship, Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Alola Week

Words count: 1649

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Sun, Moon

Relation Ship: Sun & Moon

Summary:

Sun always liked helping at the soup kitchen, seeing the smile and laughs of everybody around him, but the lunch breaks were always the best moment.

Too bad that this girl decided to ruin this one.

The Child of the Outdoor

Warning: No Warning Applies

Genre: Character study, pre-canon, Pokespe Amino Festival 2020: Galar Week

Words count: 1317

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Schilly, her Pokémons

Relation Ship: Schilly & her Pokémons

Summary:

Schilly always loved outdoors. It was joy, fun and great memories. It was her Pokémons, too.

Professor Santa

Collab with @coppertrapinch for the Specord Secret Santa Event! (Check her work she’s amazing!)

Warning: No Warning Applies

Genre: Comedy, Christmas, Specord Secret Santa Event 2021

Words count: 3623

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Prof. Oak, Prof. Birch, Prof. Samson Oak, Prof. Rowan, Prof. Juniper, Crystal, Gold, Sapphire, Trevor, Soudo, Schilly, Prof. Magnolia

Relation Ship: Prof. Oak & his need for a break

Summary:

Something was bound to go wrong with Gold organizing a party... but a Secret Santa on top of that? Poor Crystal was just too stressed at work... it was time for Professor Oak to step up to the plate. Can the renowned Professor save Christmas in time without gaining another wrinkle?

...No. No he cannot.

The Christmasly Idiotic Adventures of Pearl and Lack-Two, or the time when two idiots stopped an evil organization while being on a gift hunt

Warning: No Warning Applies

Genre: Comedy, Christmas, Specord Secret Santa Event 2021, Crime (??), Adventure

Words count: 5326

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Pearl, Lack-Two

Relation Ship: Pearl & Lack-Two

Summary:

Pearl liked Christmas. Really. Well, except when some (false) "Gift Fashion Specialist Journalist" disturbs all his plans and ruins his gift hunt. Why do he has to get a present for such a brat anyway? 

Screw up Secret Santa! This year, we're gonna kick some ass for Christmas!

b) Drabbles

Ok no big presentation here cause it’s only very short drabbles (>1K words)

Valentine Day 2020: Laveree Shipping

Valentine Day 2020: Entourage Shipping

X teachs incorrect French words to Gold

Crystal is scary and very powerful

Soudo and Chilly don’t like they English localized name, and Marvin is too young for this

II/ Other fandoms

a) Champions (comics)

Heat-Haze Days

Warning: Graphic Description of Violence, Major Character Death <3

Genre: Angst, inspired by the Kagepro song “Kagerou Days”, Time loop

Words count: 4213

Statut: OS, Complete

Characters: Miles Morales/Spiderman, Kamala Khan/Miss Marvel, Sam Alexander/Nova

Summary:

It was a normal summer day, everything was fine... But the heat of haze had decided otherwise, and it was up to Miles to try to find a way out. 

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

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71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

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95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Jason Voorhees

(WARNING! He’s back! THE MAN BEHIND THE MASK!)

...ki ki, ki, ma ma ma...

The slasher subgenre of horror has plenty of villains, but the key to any great slasher movie (aside from quality kills) is having a memorable slasher who sticks in the mind of those who watch the film. You can’t just have some generic evil guy and expect the killer to be cool and memorable; you need to give them a fun gimmick. And in the scores of slashers who populated the 80s, there are few out there who are quite as legendary and iconic as Jason Voorhees. Jason is one of those few villains who, even if you’ve never seen a single one of his movies, you’d know on sight.

Even now, with him being absent from cinema for over a decade at the time of this writing due to legal disputes (though not from other mediums such as video games), Jason is still a household name, still remembered as one of the coolest, creepiest horror villains to come out of the 80s. In fact, I’d even go so far as to say Jason might be the greatest slasher villain of all time. So let’s take a look at the man behind the mask and see what we’ve got here.

Motivation/Goals: Jason as a villain is motivated by two main factors: a desire to make his mother proud, and a desire to get vengeance for how he was treated. The first few movies are all Jason taking out his anger over his mother’s death on anyone near Camp Crystal Lake. In earlier movies, he’d really only kill anyone who invaded his territory, but later sequels had him expand his killing range by going to Manhattan, Springwood, and even outer space. Basically, Jason is motivated by revenge against a world that persecuted him, and a desire to impress his mother. The simplicity of his motivations is actually a great strength, because it means there doesn’t need to be constant time in each new film adding on to Jason’s lore like they do with Freddy, Michael Meyers, and so on. Jason kills kids who have sex, that’s it. Simple, clean, effective, and a vehicle for cool kills.

Performance: There are a LOT of people who have put on the hockey mask throughout the franchise, but perhaps the most well-known name is Kane Hodder, the hulking actor who portrayed Jason in the seventh through the tenth films. He’s certainly the Jason that will spring to mind when thinking of Jasons, but he’s the obvious one. His actor in Freddy vs. Jason, Ken Kirzinger, was chosen because he had kind eyes and could tower over Freddy, and amusingly he actually appeared in Jason Takes Manhattan as a huge chef Jason tosses aside. Then of course we have Ari Lehman, the man who cameoed as Jason at the end of the first film in the Carrie-esque jump scare, most notable because he is so proud of his role that he named his punk rock/heavy metal band First Jason.

And these are just the few I wanted to highlight here; the original continuity is ten movies worth of actors playing Jason, and he even has multiple actors in some films.

Final Fate: It depends on the movie. His mortal life is ended by a young Tommy Jarvis in The Final Chapter, but then he comes back in Jason Lives as a zombie, a zombie who is only incapacitated until Jason Takes Manhattan where he is seemingly killed off for good by the nightly flooding of the Manhattan sewers with radioactive sludge (likely a safety measure against C.H.U.D.s). But then he comes back in Jason Goes to Hell where his original body ends up obliterated for most of the movie until the ending, but soon after he’s dragged right down to, you guessed it, Hell. But then comes Jason X, and he’s brought to space where he finally ends up obliterated for real by falling through the atmosphere of a planet and burning up. And this isn’t getting into the numerous deaths from games, comics, and so on; Jason is a man who is very hard to kill.

Best Scene: What does one pick for the best scene? His sleeping bag kill from VII? The liquid nitrogen kill from Jason X? The numerous amusing scenes he has when he actually reaches Manhattan in Jason Takes Manhattan? It’s a tough choice, but honestly. I might just have to go with his corn field rave massacre in Freddy vs. Jason. It’s just so damn cool.

Final Thoughts & Score: Jason Voorhees is one of the great early slasher villains and, most impressively of all, he managed a remarkable level of consistency until the very end, at least compared to some of is peers. Compare to Michael Meyers, who had to constantly be rebooted because filmmakers kept trying to find ways to humanize and explan his motivations to the point that franchise has a fractured timeline to rival the Zelda series, or Freddy Krueger, who deteriorated from a terrifying psychopath who treated killing like a game to a non-stop quip machine that spent more time slinging one-liners than kills. Jason, while certainly going through some odd phases – recall the time he was a weird demon worm that could surf between bodies, or the time he went to space and became a cyborg – never really lost sight of the things that truly made him effective as a character.

Yes, Jason is a silent antagonist, but he says a lot with his deeds and actions. He’s a killing machine, but he certainly isn’t mindless, and he usually seems to have some sort of ethics that perhaps we don’t understand, but Jason certainly does. For instance, in later films Jason does not hurt animals, and once he’s a zombie he doesn’t kill children either. A lot of this likely stems from Jason essentially being a child in a deformed man’s body, and this goes a long to making him an interesting, tragic figure. Jason almost certainly doesn’t understand what he’s doing is wrong, and if he does, he’s almost certainly too blinded by rage to care, especially after becoming a zombie.

I think the underlying tragedy of Jason simply being a monster who only wanted to please his beloved mother and violently lashes out at those he sees, through his warped perspective, as the ones to blame makes him an interesting and complex character… and here’s the great thing! Unlike other slasher villains, this is all established very early on, and rather than continue piling on more and more backstory, the series decides to throw Jason into interesting situations. This is a problem that befell his slasher sibling Freddy; as cool as Freddy managed to be, every new film added more and more convoluted backstory rather than trying to put Freddy into an interesting scenario he could have interesting kills in. And the less said about Michael Meyers, the better. But Jason? They gave him all he needed in the first two movies, made him a zombie in the sixth, and then spent the rest of the series getting weird and creative. Jason is a villain effective because his simple characterization and motivation means he can slip into any sort of situation, be it fighting a telekinetic girl, going to Manhattan, fighting Freddy Krueger, fighting Ash Williams, slaughtering camp counselors en masse, or going to space.

It should be incredibly obvious Jason is an 11/10. He’s a testament to what makes a slasher villain great and memorable: he has a simple yet flexible mindset that allows him to be thrust into a variety of situations, he has an iconic outfit, he has an awesome weapon of choice, and he is parodied, referenced, and known throughout the world to this day. He has killer video game appearances in the likes of Mortal Kombat X and his own Friday the 13th game, he has tons of comics including ones where he takes on Freddy, Ash Williams, Leatherface, and even Uber Jason, and despite the obnoxious legal battles currently keeping him from appearing in any media to any great extent, you’d be hard pressed to find a person without even passing knowledge of Jason.

Here’s a few interesting notes, though – a lot of shout outs to Jason have characters using a chainsaw, which as we all know is the tool of Leatherface. Jason uses a machete for the most part but is very versatile, but even so the closest he ever came to using anything remotely like a chainsaw was in VII, where he used a weed whacker. Jason also didn’t gain his iconic look until the third film; in the second movie, Jason wore a burlap sack over his head. And finally, there’s a bit of trivia I’m sure most are aware of by now: Jason was not the killer in the first or fifth films. In the first film, the killer was actually Jason’s mother, Pamela Voorhees, and the fifth film Jason was still kind of dead so a copycat killer named Roy Burns took his place. So hey, while we’re here, let’s talk about these Jason adjacent killers:

Pamela Voorhees is one of those rare female slasher villains, and the fact she is so absolutely amazing makes you wonder why there aren’t more. She’s basically to Friday the 13th what The Boss is to the Metal Gear Franchise – an all-important female figure whose actions completely and totally changed the course of history. Her quest to avenge her son’s death led to her slaughtering people at Camp Crystal Lake, which led to her death… but then it turns out her son had lived all along, and her death served only to make him into a violent, vengeful monster. Add on the fact that Pamela was using the Necronomicon Ex-Mortis on her son to empower him (supported by Jason Goes to Hell and Freddy vs, Jason vs. Ash), and Pamela is indirectly responsible for every murder in the series. Or perhaps even directly, if it really is her voice Jason hears in some of the movies and the Friday the 13th game. Betsy Palmer absolutely kills it in the role (pun intended), and it’s a shame she was annoyed by the role for years, though she apparently did eventually come around and embrace it. As one of the great ladies of horror, Pamela definitely earns a 10/10.

But now let’s take a look at the opposite end of the spectrum with Roy Burns. The idea of a Jason copycat killer is not entirely without merit, and for the most part, the movie is incredibly solid, with good kills on Roy’s part. The issue comes with the ultimate reveal of his identity, which turns the entire movie into an utterly convoluted mess that makes absolutely no sense. The lack of buildup of any kind, save for two brief scenes prior to his unmasking, makes the twist lack any sort of punch, and his reasoning for killing people is just absurd. Hell, he isn’t even targeting the one person responsible – that guy gets away with a jail sentence while Roy butchers innocent people!

 Basically, Roy fails at being an engaging replacement for Jason due to the film’s finale, which goes out of its way to undermine him and everything you just watched. It should come as no shock that he’s a 1/10. Still, unlike most villains with this rating, he does have a little bit of redemption due to being playable in the Friday the 13th game. You’re just controlling him as he kills without any worry about stupid backstory, so hey, I’ll give Roy that at least, and I can’t deny his mask is pretty sick.  

UPDATE: Ok, I was way too hard n Roy. Yes, his motivation is stupid and poorly explained, his killings are absolutely ridiculous and make no sense with his motivation, I still stand by all that... and yet, I’m watching this movie for creative kills, right? And boy does our boy Roy provide. He slaughters his way through these oneshot characters with gusto! I think I’m just still bitter he’s not Jason, but I like Season of the Witch even if Michael Meyers isn’t there, so maybe I’m just too harsh on Roy and his movie in general. I think his dumbass motivations hold him back, but I think the correct score for him is a 6/10. He is most certainly not abysmal enough for a one and I was really foolish to issue a score like that. Sometimes even I have trouble overcoming my biases.

It’s interesting, though, that both of these characters tend to be forgotten, overshadowed by Jason. In the intro of Scream, Drew Barrymore’s doomed character accidentally says Jason is the killer of the first film, rather than Pamela. And I think that while that is likely a common misconception, it’s less because Pamela is forgettable but more that Jason is so overwhelmingly cool that he overshadows anyone else in these films with few exceptions. Jason may very well be the greatest slasher villain of all time, and if you disagree, well, who won in Freddy Vs. Jason again, hmmm?

And more importantly, what slasher villain has an Alice Cooper song dedicated to him?

I rest my case.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

This is a joke or well parody of the ending speech from FNAF6 that I sent to @pikablob a while ago. To any of my friends who are Bioshock fans. Yeah I haven’t been huge into the series. I still love it. It’s just I’ve been focusing on other stuff. Mainly FNAF...so like I’ve said before...this is basically me before I move on to FNAF. 

Again, it’s all a parody. It’s basically if Ken Levine took notice of my Bioshock Rebirth AU. He became so petty that he came back and destroyed the Bioshock multiverse again. Now I’m like, “Okay...I need to end this...he’s gone too far...Bioshock needs to truly end.”

Except there isn’t a connection terminated and other details. Just saying I still have some Bioshock Rebirth stuff...I’m just not big into it as much right now. I have wondered of posting some stuff that have been finished. :)

GeekGem: None of you have been called here for the specific purpose you thought. You're all trapped within a maze, a building or city I may add which you can't escape from. All of you characters from Bioshock, most of you have gone mad. I tried my best to save you with Rebirth...but Ken saw my results and he destroyed it somehow...he came back. Despite everything I've done...more can't be done...so I have to do this without 2K's approval...this is where the story of Bioshock ends. 

Bioshock needs to end in a way to put out it's misery. So to all of the genuine good people, the people who tried their best to be better, or the ones who have simply gone mad. Stay still, there is not much that could be done. But I promise you and I hope after the smoke clears. There is hopefully peace for you all. Most likely rest. Because you all deserve it. 

But as for the more villainous characters yet mainly one man. Who came back for some reason. The darkest pit of Hell has decided to swallow you all whole. Don't keep good ol Lucifer Magne waiting Ken. 

Finally to Elizabeth. I am sorry for everything. All I ever wanted to change your fate. Despite how gratuitous some of my choices were with writing. But all I wanted to do was to save you. I'm sorry I didn't arrive years ago. Despite all of the criticisms towards your character and how you acted. I'll never stop loving the woman I met in that tower. You were one of the best damn things to come out of Infinite. I should of known Ken would come back after what I did with Rebirth. That he would destroy the multiverse to quote on quote, "Save" his own daughter from having a better life. 

I saved you once. But I can't save you again. But let me try one more time so you aren't hurt anymore. All I wanted for you is to have something better. My only hope is after this, you do have something better. 

This is the end. For all of us. Most importantly for all of Bioshock...end communication.

[misfitgirlwrites]

100 Degree Adventures (Joker x Female Reader NSFW)

We're back with some smut!

Warnings: NSFW (18+), smut, oral sex (female and male receiving), language, knife play, female reader

Joker Used: Ledger's Joker

You laid back on your bed and let out a loud huff, pulling off the T-shirt you had on. “No one told me it could get this hot in Gotham.” You whined.

“You think this is hot?”

You glanced over at The Joker who sat on the other side of your bed, “well, it is 110 degrees outside, J. Is it not that hot to you?”

“Not as hot as you’re making it seem, doll. I’ve been in worse.”

“Oh please. Even when I’m sitting still it’s still hot as hell. It’s like nothing helps.” You sighed.

“Boohoo.” He let out a chuckle, resting his hands behind his head. You rolled your eyes and laid back again. It was quiet, you closed your eyes and tried to think cool thoughts but the room just seemed to get hotter and hotter. You let out a loud sigh and sat up again. Before you could say anything, The Joker beat you to it.

“______. Darling-ah. Oh, sweetheart of mine,” he drawled, sitting up as well, “keep complaining and I’ll, uh, I’ll make it much hotter in here.” He threatened.

You slowly closed your mouth, letting what he said sink in. You stared at him before a small grin grew on your face. What a tempting threat. It was hot, sure, but it wasn’t that hot. After a moment of silence, you dramatically fell back on your bed.

“This apartment is just sooo shitty! The air conditioning was just working last week and now I have to sit here and suffer.” You whined, draping your arm over your face, “if it gets any hotter I might die.”

You felt The Joker move so you uncovered your eyes as he climbed on top of you.

“You just couldn’t help yourself, huh?” He tilted his head.

“Nope.” You purred.

“Well,” he wrapped a hand around your neck and leaned in close, “I don’t want to hear any complaints then.” His grip tightened a bit and his other hand slipped under your tank top.

You didn’t know which you preferred more, when he wore gloves or when he didn’t. His hands felt good; they were rough and strong. Though the leather did feel really good on your skin. No gloves were perfect for this situation. He quickly pulled off your tank top and you focused on unbuttoning his shirt and getting it off. Because of the heat, he already had his jacket and his vest off with his tie loosened. That made things a lot easier for you.

“Aren’t you in a rush,” The Joker grinned, grabbing your wrists with both hands, “be patient.”

“J, let me--”

“What’d I just say about com-plain-ing. He clicked his tongue and pinned your hands above your head with one hand before tugging on your shorts with the other. Once he got them off, you closed your eyes feeling him leave lingering touches over your legs. “It’s always so easy to get you riled up, doll.” He released your wrists and pulled out his switchblade, “keep those pretty little hands up there.”

You bit your lip and complied as he leaned down to kiss you. His kisses moved down to your neck and then quickly became nibbles and bites. You closed your eyes and let out a small moan once he bit down hard in one place.

The Joker lifted up and dragged his blade along your body. He wasn’t pressing down hard, for now. The blade felt much cooler against your skin because of how hot you were; it felt good. You lifted your leg slowly, pressing it against his crotch and watching him closely. You could feel how hard he was already and he paused for a moment before his knife pressed down a bit harder on your thigh, drawing blood.

“Someone’s eager.” He licked the blood from the cut and you let out a small noise.

“I want to have fun too, master~”

His eyes locked onto yours and he licked his lips. You had him now. “Alright kitten. Show me what ya got.”

You didn’t move at first, surprised that he agreed so quickly. You quickly sat up and pushed The Joker down against your bed. It was your turn to nibble and bite at his neck. You slowly moved down, placing kisses along his chest as you went. You quickly undid his pants, pulling them down as he chuckled.

“You sure you’re not too hot to do this, ______. After all the fussing and, uh, whining?” He stopped and let out a breath once you got his boxers off and wrapped a hand around his length.

“Oh, I’m very sure. Why, are you backing out on your threat, J?” You teased.

The Joker sat up and his hand gripped the back of your neck, “of course not. I’m letting you have your fun first. Now get to it before I change my mind.”

You complied and quickly took him in your mouth. You started off slow, swirling your tongue around the head of his cock before beginning to bob your head up and down. You began to move faster once you started to hear little grunts and groans from him.

“Come on, doll. Deeper.” The Joker pushed your head down more and your eyes snapped up to glare at him. “You didn’t think I’d let you have all the control, did you? That’ll never happen-ah.”

He pulled your head up and you licked your lips before grinning, “never say never.”

The heat was basically radiating now, but you didn’t care. You tried to continue sucking him off, but he stopped you.

“No, no, no. It’s my turn now.”

With that, you were pinned down onto the bed again.

“No fair. You didn’t even cum yet.” You huffed.

“Well, that’s ‘cause I don’t want to yet. You on the other hand,” he pulled off your panties and you quickly took your bra off as well, “you don’t have much of a choice.” He chuckled.

You certainly weren’t going to complain. When The Joker goes down on you, it’s always pleasurable. Torturous at times, but it was surely worth it. You closed your eyes and let out a small sigh, feeling tingles spread through your body. He moved slowly as well, teasing you. He left kissed along your inner thigh before finally reaching where you wanted him to be.

“Fuck! J,” you moaned. His lips wrapped around your clit as he pushed two fingers inside of you. The sheets on your bed stuck to your body as watched The Joker, examining the parts of his face where his makeup was beginning to run because of his sweat. You always wondered what he looked like without it. Your thoughts were cut off by him curling his fingers inside of you.

“Shit! Joker--”

“Beg.”

“Fuck me. Please fuck me I can’t wait anymore,” you pleased with a moan as he moved his fingers faster.

“You can do much better than that.”

“I want to feel you inside me, please.” You gripped his hair and tugged on it, coming close to your release. He quickly pulled his fingers out and you whined loudly.

“Don’t be like that, kitten. You’re about to get something much better.” The Joker climbed over your body and you wrapped your legs around him.

“Fuck me like you mean it.” You panted.

“With pleasure.” He pushed into you roughly and you cursed loudly.

If it wasn’t hot before, it was definitely hot now. Sweat covered your body and his and you gripped his arms tightly.

“Hot enough for you?” He growled into your ear.

That alone was enough to bring you over the edge. You moaned loudly as you released. It was dragged out more feeling The Joker come undone as well.

You closed your eyes and tried to catch your breath as he pulled out to lay next to you.

“...Wow. I should complain more often.” You let out a chuckle, “now what’ll it take to get you in the shower with me?”

The Joker laughed at the question and looked at you. “Don’t get your hopes up with that one, doll. Now,” he grabbed you and rolled on top of you again, “let’s go for round two~”

~~~~~~

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[hatsampixie]

Spy vs Spy - Curse of the Were-Pyre, part 2

(Small note, this chapter is longer than the first, and I may have gotten a bit lazy writing it towards the end.. :T)

-

Agent Black groaned as his eyes tiredly pried themselves open, he had reverted back to his normal form hours ago.

As his vision became clearer, he gave a cough and looked around. Upon scanning the area he saw that he was back home in his apartment, lying in his bed. As his energy slowly came back, his rubbed his head as a painful ache suddenly kicked in. "M-my head.." he groaned as he sat up in bed, 'what happened to me?' he thought to himself, he somehow remembered walking home on his own for some odd reason, Black flinched as his vision turned to the window and the bright sunlight seeping through the gray-colored curtains. Getting out of bed, he looked at the time on a nearby watch, he immediately woke up upon seeing that he was gonna be late, his eyes widening. Dashing out of bed and grabbing his black wide-brimmed hat, Black was about to walk out the door to get to the elevator, but when he opened it, he saw that his next-apartment neighbor, Frank was standing right there; causing the spy to yelp in fright. "A.B, we have to talk." he said, Black breathed a deep sigh of relief.

"Black, do you actually know what happened to you last night?" Frank asked, the two of them had sat down at a table in a small kitchen, Black responded by silently shaking his head, obviously a 'No'. "You were like groaning and growling like a.. a beast! I mean, you just came in by yourself. So, you didn't listen.. But did you get to know any ladies?" Black gave the fellow a not amused look. "No, Frank, I didn't. There were like no girls there apart from Agent Gray." There was silence for a moment or two. After a bit, Frank sighed. "..But that's not the point, you didn't listen to me, and I'm actually pretty scared; I heard those growls, and if you ask me, they didn't even sound human. Do you need to get to the hospital?" Once again, Black responded with a head shake. "No, I feel fine." he said, "I think everything's okay." Black and Frank got up and walked to the door, "Just get to work, don't cause any trouble, and.. Seriously, don't scare me like that again. White found out and told me that you walked home alone, and I'm just.. Grr! Any more nonsence, and I'm calling the police." Black shot him a stern look and glared. "Dude, I AM the police." Black finally walked out and shut the door, as he was beginning to walk down the seemingly never-ending hallway, his eyes narrowed as he noticed Agent White standing nearby, as if he was waiting for him. "White, why'd you tell on me?" he growled, venom entering his tone. "Well.. You know, I really hate to tell you this with all the fibers of my being.. But.. I was actually worried about you, you were acting pretty scary last night." White said. Black turned and gave an annoyed sigh, and started walking towards the elevator, "Stop going on about that, let's just get to work, c'mon White!" Black made his way to the elevator, his rival following after, he pressed a button and the lift's doors closed as it made it's descent towards the lobby floor.

"Alright, people, listen up! Because this day's report of mine is basically why you shouldn't talk to strangers." Vice (or actually temporary, the real chief was on break at the time) Chief Rodger told the agents that were sitting down at a large table in the meeting hall in the S.P.Y HQ. Agent Black raised his hand, as if he were a kid being taught in a classroom, drawing attention to himself. "I did!" he said, Rodger laid eyes on him and scowled, "No, B, I don't want to hear you're rubbish." The temporary chief has had some history with Black in the past, but Black didn't listen. "Well, last night I got like.. bitten by a vampire and a werewolf, and I kicked a robber's ass." Black said with a serious tone.

He remembered very little of some of the vents from last night, but the memories were still blurred, he didn't tell Frank because he didn't want him to be worried.

The tall man that was Rodger rolled his eyes. "Shut up, you're spouting rubbish. Okay men, ignore him, just ignore him." "..But, it's true, I did!" Black said, raising his voice a bit, even tilting his head to show him the marks from the healed neck bite, much to other people in the room gasping. One of the men chuckled upon hearing that, the black-attire-wearing spy simply glared at him, thinking that the fellow didn't believe him, "Look, pal, I did." he said, "I-I swear I did, even Rodger d- ..Gray, White, didn't you hear me growl last night like a ..weird beast?" Gray and White both nodded, "We did, we really did." The two both said in unison. "Well, it's because I got bit by both a vampire and a werewolf, and that made me a Were-Pyre." The black spy added sternly, Gray simply got a nervous look, glancing away for a moment and looking back at him, as if to say: "Black, why are you telling me this now?"

Rodger's voice breaking out made all the people in the room flinch: "People, calm down!" he bellowed, "Alright, Black, any more stories, and you won't get your break hours for today!" "I'm not lying-!" Now Rodger's eyes seemed to become bloodshot in his rage as his short temper acted up, and the veins in his neck now were now showing. "THAT'S IT! NO BREAK HOURS FOR YOU TODAY, BOY!" he roared. Unfortunately, the rage seemed to be contagious, because now Black looked annoyed, and his canines looked a bit longer than normal, and he started growling in his rage, and like Frank had said, the growls sounded inhuman. Some of the people sitting beside him started moving away from him, "Oh my god, B.. I'm getting REALLY ANGRY! That's it! I'M GONNA.. !" Rodger shouted once again, he was now looming over Black, raising his fist for the strike. At that moment, Gray stood up in her chair, as did White. "W-wait, wait, wait, don't! you can't hit an agent!" Gray spoke worriedly, Roger turned to her with a psychotic look in his eye. "Oh, YEAH?!" And then the crazed man hit Black with such a force that it knocked his hat off, and blew him into the chairs behind him, it was just too much, Rodger's strength was beyond what should be possible.

There was complete silence in the room.

Slowly, Black clumsily stood up again, putting his hat back on and breathing heavily, his eyes shut. It looked as if he had survived the blow without a scratch on him, one of the people in the crowd gulped in fear. As Black's creature-like breathing intensified, with a monstrous snarl, his eyes shot open; revealing that his pupils were now cat-like slits.

And his gaze was locked on Chief Rodger.  

The crowd, even Gray and White watched in fear as they saw something else happen, right before their eyes.

They witnessed Black transform.

Black's teeth became longer and more sharp, his ears grew visible, longer and wolf-like, and he also grew a wolf tail as well. He grew a foot taller, and his hands metamorphosed into giant bat wings.

And after this, Black looked right in Rodger's eyes, and let out a loud screeching roar.

The rage immediately went out of Rodger's gaze, and it was replaced with a parody known as horror. "OH, MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT?!" He screamed with fear in his voice, he had no idea what the heck just happened, but he knew one thing for sure as the rest of the people in the room did: Black was right. But there was no time to think as the now transformed spy lunged at Rodger at a frightening speed, shrieking.

Black knocked Rodger straight into the wall behind him, with the same force that the man had used to smack him, this instantly crushed the man's vertebrae, killing him. And Black started tearing into him, using his dagger-sharp teeth and claws, and started feasting on him like a hungry wolf.

The people looked on in horror at what was happening before them, one of them slowly got up out of his chair and tried to sneak away, but unfortunately, he wasn't wearing the right shoes for this, and a soft 'squeeak!' sounded off.

Black immediately froze, his wolf ears twitched, with rage in his eyes, he slowly turned to the crowd behind him, and with blood dripping from his claws and fangs, he lifted his head and unleashed a loud lupine howl.

The people in the room instantly went into all-out panic mode, screaming, waving their arms, tripping and scrambling over one another, desperately trying to get out of the room and away from the transformed Black Spy.

"Holy crap, Black, what happened to you?!" White screamed, Gray grabbed him by the hand and they both disappeared into the stampeding crowd, "There's no time to explain. Right now, head for the elevator!"

Three people didn't make it out of the crowd, and the first two had already been mutilated, and the room was now a mix of gray, white, and crimson red.

Breathing heavily, the Were-Pyre turned his attention to the third person left behind: the brightly colored weirdo from the party, who had now started backing away slowly, whimpering until he was now in a corner.

And as you all know, backing up into a corner when a monster's on a rampage is a very poor choice.

The rest was all a blur: the frightening screech, the terror-filled scream, the horrible sound of flesh getting torn, and the blood.. all the blood.

-

Black had once again um.. blacked out, and also turned back to normal. As he came to, he looked around and saw that he was in a small stone room.. blocked with large steel bars.

Oh no..

He woke up and saw that he was now in shackles that were attached to the walls, and in front of him, behind the steel bars, there was a man standing before him dressed in a camouflage outfit, he wore several badges, and a hat to match, and beside him, there were two other people in black suits with dark glasses, it was clear that this man was a General.

And that he was in a prison.

"..W-what am I doing here? Let me out! I'm behind bars, I shoul-!" Before the worried spy could finish, the general began to speak to him in a commanding sort of voice: "Sir, I don't know how you've done it, but there were severed limbs, blood everywhere, and people ripped to shreds inside the S.P.Y HQ. And how on earth you did this is beyond me. Agent Black, you cannot leave this cell." The black spy's eyes widened upon hearing this dreadful news as he struggled against the restraints, but this tactic didn't do any good. Slowly, he calmed down and took a more reasonable approach. "..But, how would I have been able to cause all of that?" he asked, his mind being a total blank, due to him blacking out after losing control. "Well, I'm getting reports about some bizarre things that you're some kind of 'Were-Pyre'." The general said, "But we've got some experts on board: We've got a priest, a witch, and a scientist. However, I cannot cure you, and I cannot kill you. So we have no choice until they each try to help at a time, If this fails, then all is lost." The general cleared his throat, "We first have the witch.. Ma'am, you can come in now please." A nearby door opened, and a woman came in through the door, chuckling softly. She wore a long black rope with a hint of purple, and her hair was long and black, the style was also wild and completely unkept. One of her teeth was sharp, and appeared to be made of gold. "I am Madame Ivy," she spoke with a low and yet raspy sort of voice, "And I believe that he has the spirits of a vampire, a werewolf.. And pure rage. So, I'm going to have to take you to my hidden camp, and do magical potion experiments on you, I will splash this potion on you, and we will be there sooner before you know it, dear." She said with a strange gleam in her eye.

Black, however, didn't like the sound of this one bit, and began struggling again. "Wait, wait!" But then she threw the potion bottle at him, it landed 2 feet away from him and shattered, strange purple smoke emitted from the spilled liquid. "No! take that!" the strange woman yelled. The purple smoke started hitting Black right between the nostrils, and he saw his vision get blurrier and blacker. "Wait! Ohhhh.. Not again.." he whimpered as his world went black.. again.

As Black began coming to, only one thought was in his mind, 'I'm getting sick of blacking out, here..' Glancing around quickly, he saw that he was in a huge forest, lit by the full moon shining through the trees. he was also near a campfire, and the Witch was chanting some weird incantation, and nearby was a large cart filled with strange potions, each of them glowing an ominous bright color. There were two others there as well, one looked like a goblin, and the other.. appeared to be a zombie. Yes, a real zombie. Black sat up immediately, with a confused and worried look in his eye, "Woah! what are you doing?" he asked. The witch simply responded with that suspicious look in her eyes, "We are trying to remove the demons from you." she whispered, "Child, you will turn into a beautiful butterfly!" The confused look on Black's face turned into a not amused glare as his eyes narrowed, picking a witch to cure him was the wrong choice, and this was on the path to getting nowhere. "N-no, I don't want to be a butterfly." the spy grumbled, "Oh.. Well, you will turn into a beautiful princess!" "No, I don't want to be a-" Suddenly, the zombie he noticed before popped up next to him, it was wearing a traffic cone on his head, and it was looking at him with a un-intelligent expression, drool oozed from it's mouth. "Aurrrgge.. I got a cone in mah heahd.." it groaned, Black gasped in horror and scrambled away from the creature. "Woah, stay away from me!" he yelped, the undead monster attempted to follow him, but ended up repeatedly, and stupidly, bumping into a tree. "I got a cone..Bweeahhhrrgg.."

"Woah wh-?!" See what I mean? Road to nowhere. "You need to be careful, child. One of these days you will.." The witch said creepily, and Black was already starting to get annoyed.

The zombie was meanwhile stumbling around on the sidelines, loudly groaning as it did so. "I got a cone..!" the spy flinched at this, "Just be quiet!" he said, raising his voice. This didn't do anything, the zombie continued rambling on and groaning, "Just be- grr.. You're making me angry." Black growled, his canines grew longer again, and you know what this means..

"IEE GOT A COEN ON MAH HED.." The zombie groaned even louder, now the witch was getting annoyed, she stopped chanting, and looked up at the creature, "Oh.. Calm down-!" she said, but then the zombie stumbled into the fire pit, now it started running around the camp on fire, screaming at the top of it's lungs, it's arms flailing about: "AHHHHH!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!" Black covered his ears which were now beginning to grow longer and furry, "Oh my g- rarrg.. ROAAAAAAHHHHH!!!" Black roared as he transformed into a Were-Pyre.

The witch turned and ran off into the forest, "Oh my goodness, Stay back! STAY BACK!!" she screamed, the Were-Pyre opened his wings and flew after her through the woods, as she ran, she turned and threw a potion at him, with a quick dash to the side, Black dodged it. Then the witch stumbled, having tripped on a tree root, Black took advantage of her temporary weakness, tucked in his wings, and dove at her like a falcon, screeching.

Blood splattered on the ground and trees.

The zombie and goblin had meanwhile ran off in the opposite direction, and had barely managed to escape.

And when the priest tried to cure him by saying the lord's prayer, the fellow was basically a crazy nutjob; he didn't say the prayer right at all, got Black annoyed, and the rest is history.

But when they brought the scientist in.. It had better results.. "Where am I..?" Agent Black asked, with just a hint of a peeved tone, getting tired of blacking out. Where he woke was inside a giant glass containment tube, with several chains attached to his arms and legs, and in front of the glass containment tube was the scientist, he had a scar across his right eye, which was also blind, his left hand was also robotic. And beside him was a creature he made who basically resembled Igor, but with a missing stumped left hand, not to mention his teeth were rounded, resembling gums more than actual teeth. "Exactly." The scientist said, "I knew Agent Black would be here." "Master! master! I knew he would be here-!" The hunchbacked creature beside him spoke up. His creator cast him a glare. "Zigor, be quiet please. If you're not loud, and keep quiet, he might not get annoyed, you know." Black gave a confused look, which slowly turned into a glare, which was in fact a bluff. "Well, I don't think that'll work.. Y-you're annoying me already. I'll turn into that thing and I'll break your face!" he said, Zigor flinched in fear and backed away, the scientist pushed some buttons on a nearby control panel. "Calm down now, Black. We're ready to do a test." he said calmly, a worried look came into Black's eyes again. "Oh, please don't, I'll kill you." "Listen, doing this test will transform you back to normal. Are you ready?" Black responded by shaking his head, "Master! Master, I'm ready!" Zigor shouted with a grin.

The scientist pulled a lever on the side of the control panel, and a bright light filled the containment tube.

"W-what?! No! wait-wait-wait-wait-WAIT WAIIITT!!!" Black screamed as he started transforming again.

As the light faded, the Were-pyre roared as he used his claws and large wings to bang on the glass, attempting to smash his way out of the glass cage, then he shrieked when he felt something small and sharp hit him in the shoulder blade, a small needle, attached to some sort of a robotic limb, injected him with a strange red liquid. "YAAAaaarghh! what are you doING?!" he yelled afterwards, before he started roaring and shrieking again. The scientist grinned upon seeing that Black came out for that one moment, "See? It's working!" he said. "Master! Master, keep doing it!" Zigor grinned, the scientist pushed more buttons on the control panel.

Black threw his head back and howled like a wolf in pain as several more needles came out and injected him with more red liquid. "Let ME OUT!! LET ME OUUUT!!" he screamed, at the same time, his canines grew smaller. "Masterr!! We are doing it!" Zigor squealed, clapping with glee.

Black continued screaming as he began transforming, his ears became less furry and started shrinking, the bones in the bat wings shifted and also shrank and turned back into hands, his tail bone grew shorter, turning back as well, but also leaving a hole in his pants. He also became a foot smaller.

His pupils widened.

The needles retracted into the mechanism above him.

Breathing heavily, the young spy glanced around him. "Oh, my goodness.." he panted, he looked down at his hands, they were no longer hideous bat wings! "..I-I changed!"

"See? we did it! Agent Black, you can come out." The scientist pressed a large button on the panel, and a hidden door opened and slid to the side on the containment tube, and Black stepped out of it.

"Well, that was easy." The spy said with a shrug.

"Exactly."

"How'd you do it?" Black asked.

"I just gave you the blood of Zigor, and it changed you back."

"Master, I told you my blood would work!" The hunchback said, still grinning.

"How'd it w-?"

Zigor interrupted, "I have the blood of many different species. I'm not even human."

"Woah.. But, in that case, thank you very much, I'm out, and I'll see you later." As Black was about to walk out the door, a robotic left hand grabbed his shoulder. "Hold it right there."

"What?" Black growled.

"Let me give you a piece of advice: Do not walk home alone again." said the Scientist.

"..Do not walk home alone again, okay? Otherwise, you'll be in big trouble.. hehe." Zigor said, chuckling a bit crazily.

Black held his hands up a bit, "G-guys, I'm sure I'm fine, alright? Thanks for curing me, see you later. ..Weirdos." The spy said, walking out the door.

"Byeee!" Zigor purred.

Did he listen this time? Answer: No, he did not.

Black walked along the dark, moonlit streets of Monochropilous, this time, using a map to find his way back to his apartment. "I wanna walk home alone every single time now, I finally know that this map is a really big hel-" The sight of two tentacled, three-eyed figures appearing right in front of him broke his train of thought, Black screamed and fell backwards in surprise. "WOAH! Who are you?!" The two creatures smiled, showing hundreds of sharp teeth, then they started speaking in unison. "We are the Grothians, and we just want to adopt someone who walks on his own.." Black started backing away, "Wait, I didn't mean to walk on my own, please! I've been a Were-Pyre for two days straight, I-I don't want to be on my own! Seriously, guys, you have to understand t-that I'm good." The two aliens turned and grinned menacingly at each other and nodded. "You're not a good fellow, but we have a Mountain Dew.." A tentacle reached out and pulled the spy back on his feet, then another handed him a can of Mountain Dew. Black grinned slightly, "Oh.. Does that mean I'm good? or.. Do I get a soda if I'm bad?"

"No, you don't." the aliens said, "You're going to be abducted."

Suddenly, a bright beam of light shone on him from above.

And then he couldn't move his legs.

"Help! Please! I can't move, someone help me!"

As the tractor beam from the alien ship was taking him up, Black grabbed onto the top of a lamp post and held on for dear life.

"NOOOOO!!! I SHOULDN'T HAVE WALKED HOME ALOOONE!!" Agent Black sobbed.

-The End..?

[imadeletingmysocials]

My Final Say On The Final Fantasy 7 Compilation:

DILLY DALLY SHILLY SHALLY!

Now let me say something: I don’t fully hate the remake, my feelings are at best mixed towards it, because of course it plays on my heart strings at moments, I grew up with Final Fantasy 7, I recognize and fall for the fanservicey recreations of PS1 moments, I just hate it’s tone and different atmosphere because I recognize this is obviously fanservicey everywhere you go and rarely comes as close to the original feel, more on that later of course, here’s what’s core: Final Fantasy 7 Remake at best feels like a compromise between the new and the old fans, with some old fans not really feeling 100% about it from what I gathered around many people I know. Everything I hear is “The gameplay is fun and engaging! but some shit is definitely silly and could have been cut” stuff like: the amount of filler, characters that honestly don’t add that much to the world building, and the saturday morning cartoon prolongation of certain moments which were straight to the point in the original, this is a remake where you get to see fast-paced deep cut moments turned into a slow agonizing over-redundant slow insertion of a knife, it’s like using a butter knife to cut a well done stake.

Again, a compromise with the fandom, THAT fandom, the fandom that scared everyone into playing Final Fantasy 7 which was at best a REALLY Good regular JRPG, and it really was like this weirld proto-cringe culture built around a cult, Final Fantasy 7 was this grimdark game about ecology, direct action, the over reach of corporate control on resources, spirituality and all that, and it was ALL REDUCED TO YAOI SHIPPING, I will never forgive you guys for reducing Final Fantasy 7 to that shit and it is one of the main reasons why the Compilation became this anime shit, I’m not even someone who unironically says “this is too anime” but that’s my attitude with a lot of the compilation, there is stuff in this compilation series that makes it all feel like a fucking parody of Dragon Ball Z when outside of that, the original was pretty grounded.

The original was so grounded that it’s still debated if Final Fantasy 7 is cyberpunk AT ALL if not dieselpunk, with the compilation and remake adding more cyberpunk and high-sci-fi aspects like China-like social credit, or VR, and they’re all ham-fistedly added additions to the series, it’s just them running with the idea of “I guess we’re considered cyberpunk now, better play the part and add these cliche tropes”, Final Fantasy 7′s world clearly has a class division when it comes to who has technology and who doesn’t, some technology in the FF7 world is old and some is new, but in the original it’s really just a select places that hold power towards technology: Like the facilities of Midgar or the Golden Saucer.

Adding a lot of these sci-fi aspects and prolonging on the midgar section of course adds plot holes: In the original, the Midgar section flies so fast it’s just one event after the other WHICH IS GOOD, not letting air to breathe in your structure keeps the plot tight, keeps the momentum and pacing good, allowing that air to breathe too much results in what I like to call: Nomura’s Awkward Silence. You’ve probably seen it in Kingdom Hearts quite a lot but Nomura is a shitty director who manages to make scenes so badly and prolonged that by the end any logical person would go: “...But? Wouldn’t that not work?”.

FF7′s Midgar was fast-paced cuz this is a group of eco-terrorists which are on a constant verge of being caught so they’re constantly on the move, plot hole nitpicky shit starts to happen when you don’t have a fast-pacing to keep most hooked and here are examples which aren’t helped with the new plot device additions:

Why doesn’t Tifa confront Cloud’s past since they now have a lot of time to catch up

Why would a terrorist group just... Hire someone and let them stay in a normal ass 

Why is Avalanche just chilling around the sectors when they all live in a mass surveillance state, no really adding that mass surveillance plot device really makes everything fall apart, in the original SHINRA just IMMEDIATELY after the first bombing bombs sector 7 with absolutely no-restraint, them seeing AVALANCHE bomb one of their reactors makes them go: “Oh we can kill them all in one swell swoop and put the blame on them no problem we just giving them a false means of comfort” and the new bombing of Sector 7 REALLY does showcase my annoyance with all of the minor changes that were fine and better in the original: This is also best exemplified by how reno in the original just presses the button and is done with it but the remake prolongs this scene so much, that RENO has to fight you first??? Even if he is literally facing the fucking button??? cuz ANIME FIGHT! and then they make RUDE press the button when before they developed him as “somewhat nice guy” which only clashes even worse with the fact that he was the one who presses a button to SUPPOSEDLY kill an entire sector, well I say supposedly cuz now, there is no weight in that, Barrett doesn’t shoot the fallen sector’s walls in anger and (that’s what motivates him to go to Shinra once and for all) because actual stakes? what are that? No, everyone evacuated this time and the new NPCs are all fine :)

Throughout the whole game, they play up characters who are minor in the original but are FULL BIG FUCKIN IDOLS in the remake now, and as a result, the “bad guys who become good guys as the game on” HAVE TO HAVE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IMMEDIATELY. Fuck pacing! We need to show that the HEROES HAVE A CONSCIOUSNESS NOW! and STILL MAKE THEM DO EVIL THINGS. Like what is the point in developing your villains and showing they have a conciseness if they are still going to do bad things? In FF7 the only start developing a consciousness AFTER the bad things, like ff7 remake makes Dude somewhat decent and showcases Reeves as a nice person but they still did evil things regardless so it’s uselesss. Now I won’t say FF7 doesn’t do this and shows Reeves has his gripes but it doesn’t go

Again, BARRET HAS A FUCKING GUN FOR AN ARM, HE SHOULDN’T BE OUT IN THE PUBLIC... AT ALL, HE SIGNED HIS DEATH WARRANT WHEN HE GAVE HIMSELF THAT ARM AND DEDICATED HIMSELF TO THE CAUSE, THIS IS WHY HE ALWAYS LIVES ON THE MOVE AND ALWAYS HIDING. 

Again, why did they introduce the idea of everything being a mass surveillance state if Cloud, Tifa and Barret can literally storm Shinra’s headquarters and Shinra workers are just... chilling in the lobby, it’s all empty, but in the original you had a somewhat sense of danger and the only way to progress was through going through specific corridors in a certain order or tricking Shinra workers.

Every single time the dementors appear.

Examples of the anime-transformation of the remake and making everything a lot harder to not take seriously are: 

Scarlet being a comical dominatrix who like a cartoon character smacks the character when in the original she was truly like a serious fucking villain.

Aeris (or Aerith, not sure anymore) pretty much becoming a Disney Princess

Every single villain going to saturday morning cartoon levels of overreduncancy. 

And of course I hate this shit, I have a connection with the original you know, if it wasn’t called a remake or if it didn’t touch the original maybe I wouldn’t have thought otherwise but because of the fact that it goes out to make these ridiculous changes feels like some sort of insult in a way. Minor inconveniences start to become major inconveniences and Final Fantasy 7′s remake is CHOCK FULL of it. 

It’s the weirdest comparison I know, but the one I feel still works is: You know how Disney movies would a TV adaption? Like how Disney’s Hercules had a Hercules TV show and it went on to develop background characters you barely knew, while basically overly expanding on that interlude of the movie? Well that’s what Final Fantasy VII remake feels like, some even said that this remake feels like as if they made a MCU movie series based on the original, honestly I don’t know which one is worse, sounds pretty bad which ever way you put it.

A controversial opinion but one that never the less is true is that: Midgar was not supposed to be ANYTHING BUT A SET UP, it was just there for the sake of world building, now I guess it’s just me and a couple of friends but we aren’t part of the gang of “I didn’t play Final Fantasy 7 pass Midgar” which apparently is a thing, it goes as far as cultural video game stereotype, I’m one of the few people who played passed Midgar, and i’m one of the few people who prefer the game past that section as everything when the world begins to open starts to build on that set up Midgar introduced, like Midgar isn’t everything FF7 has to offer, it’s just the setup, Midgar is the BIG BAD, but you need to recgonize how Midgar is pretty much a plot device at best and what is more important is the villages of the planet and how each are affected by Midgar’s reach and corruption, like Red Canyon, small villages with rocket projects or Wutai (which the Compilation LOVES to set up as the other super-power against Midgar, rather than letting Midgar be the only superpower like in the original I guess).

Midgar is structured like this fast-paced action film, beat by beat, in fact following the same structural high points of an action movie. Midgar was always designed to be a 2 hour experience, like a fun roller coaster ride or romp, it wasn’t meant to be the WHOLE GAME or that prolonged. 

And a lot of those things will be gone and sacrificed in the remake: For example, you cannot recreate well-placed shots and angles in the remake cuz it doesn’t have pre-background sets like the original. In doing so, you sacrifice shit and make choices LIKE THIS: 

Rather than the slow-panning of the shot that results in this iconic scene:

I want to be clear here: I do not hate Final Fantasy 7 remake for it’s lack of subtlety, whenever Final Fantasy 7′s remake has the chance to be political and preachy about it, that is actually where it expands VERY well on the original (unlike the whole fucking Compilation shit or the annoying quirky NPCs they introduce which honestly don’t add much and kinda remove and detach from what’s kinda important at the matter, again the pacing fucking sucks), the original works as it is with short burst of dialog without dwelling on actual political theory (It can get annoying of course for example: Barrett in the remake every 10 seconds talks about how he wants to save the planet, while Barrett in the original doesn’t need to be that repetitive, in fact I think you can count every time in the remake he says “SAVE THE PLANET”  almost as much “DARKNESS” is said in Kingdom hearts... NOMURA!!!), you know keeping it simple for all of the teenagers playing it in final fantasy 7, vague enough to be accessible.

I could go on about all of those weird changes in the remake which could have been left as it is, like almost every single side-mission, I don’t know of a single side-mission in FF7 I left thinking “Wow that was really worthwhile, thought provoking and added quite a lot to the world building!” cuz guess what, it didn’t. The children don’t add much like we get it children are not immune to SOLDIER propaganda (Cloud is literally the personification of this did we really need this), the angel of the slums shows stealing from the rich is good (like the entire game is about killing corporate people and despite Barrett feeling a lil bit remorse in his methods he never feels remorse in killing anyone related to SHINRA), like oh thanks for showcasing to me that thieves can be good people like the child I am. These are all engineered to make people who didn’t get the point in ff7, messages which feel are for children, which I guess a lot of gamers are, the dumbification of video games as a whole angers me but that’s a completely different subject, you ever notice how characters in the past didn’t talk about every single action they should be performing but every game after 2010 has to be annoying about that?

I still have mixed feelings on FF7R. Little things that are lil fanservice can be nice, but then the final fantasy 7 remake just throws the cake onto the ground as soon as it seems tasty, the best example of this would be the cutscene showing Shinra’s plan in Shinra’s headquarters, it is an EXCELLENT COMPLIMENT to the original, like the original has about the same amazing world building set up of how 2000 years ago FF7′s world was just a regular Final Fantasy world! Final Fantasy 7 is special because of that this particular world building, and compliments to that realism and tone ARE GREAT! Those are moments in which the tone of the game SHINE! It makes you go “Aw that was a nice recreation and it complimented the game fine” but then Sephiroth. You know... That one villain who isn’t supposed to be appearing every single second in the original but since the pacing is dogshit I guess he’s basically become Cloud’s little one winged angel on his shoulder that has to appear IN EVERY cutscene, I really do hate this mother fucker. I hate that Sephiroth bitch, I hate that he became more of an mascot for FF7 to the point it overshadows his role as just a pawn of a more deeper evil (JENOVA) sephiroth was nothing but the representation of soldier exploitation going wrong, and how that symbolically is connected to the end of the world and an evil very alien. Sephiroth was never supposed to be this actual character, in fact he stopped being a character when... you know.

Somehow Palmer can see Sephiroth but that makes 0 sense and is the dumbest fucking addition... Aren’t only people with Mako supposed to see him? And the idea is that Sephiroth can only gain physical form through the bodies of SOLDIERs cuz he’s more of a virus now. But you know... Sephy-kun is a star now! SO HE NEEDS TO SHOW UP EVERY FUCKING SECOND and PRACTICALLY SPOIL THE WHOLE ORIGINAL GAME, what clearer message of “we hope you played the original or else” than all of those forced flashbacks, and how funny that the original demon of FF7remake was straight forward and didn’t include sephiroth flashback but as soon as the game released they put them in! HM, I WONDER. I WONDER. That really does feel like a “haha you actually bought the game! sucker.” 

But by that point I’ve basically become that fan that goes “you should read the book, I don’t like it that in the movie they did all of these little changes”, but truth be told Final Fantasy 7 remake turned me into that kinda person. Again: It doesn’t help that this is literally not a medium conversion, but a full on re-writting from the people who worked, and I don’t care what Nomura considers a “remake”, this makes the original story flow a lot worse.

“You fuckers asked for it! So here it is” says Square Enix when people were angry that FF7 was being re-released over and over again, teased with tech demos since the PS3 era! Truth be told, I was always on the fence for a Final Fantasy 7 remake, I was fine with the original, I cannot speak for everyone else but on my side it was just people going “I REALLY FUCKING HOPE THIS ISN’T COMPILATION BULLSHIT“ AND hahah AHAHAHAH well

Final Fantasy 7 remake’s structure is... AMAZINGLY WELL PUT WHEN YOU START TO SEE THAT THE LONGER IT GOES, THE MORE IT STARTS TO STRAY AWAY FROM GOD’S LIGHT, In fact I think that’s brilliant, it’s like a well made bad prank, you get to see people in real time react to this shit and it’s almost a universal experience so props to the designers for managing to do that, at first it starts building your immunity with like dementors and you’re like “why the fuck did they add this? oh well i guess I’ll just keep going” but then by the end of the game throws shit at the fan and some people are devoted to those changes saying “ah fuck it” or you know: This is dumb. I’d say that 35% of Final Fantasy 7′s remake’s content compliments the original and 65% is modern Square Enix’s shenanigans.  

The rest of this thread is pretty funny also:

This might sound controversial but: When your shit is edited in the editing room, maybe, just maybe, there’s a reason it was edited out. Final Fantasty 7 Remake has this attitude of “WE GOTTA ADD EVERY SINGLE DELETED CONTENT WE COULDN’T HAVE PUT IN THE ORIGINAL, WE HAVE THAT POWER NOW TO GET SILLAY!” which is often the downfall of a lot of video games and their artistic integrity, it’s a constant thing and I’m sure I won’t be visiting it for the last time: video game directors are often these egoistical people who are left like children with this amount of power to just do dumb shit and because video games are an exceptional quirky medium, people just let bad writing and anime shit fly, I mean this is what I have always meant by video games as a medium being like b-movies and kitsch at best, you rarely see this medium be high art.

I think the best example of this is comparing to the movie medium, most importantly: George Lucas, George Lucas was a guy who because of a lot of editors their story became something that even overshadowed themselves, have you seen Star Wars without an editor? It sucks. This showcase should have killed the auteur but in the industry sometimes this is not the case, what results of that is a huge inflation of one’s ego and they start getting more and more power to direct stuff in whatever way they see fit!

The Video game medium has allowed the auteur theory to test it’s limits, I don’t know if it’s fair to blame everything on the black sheep Nomura (I mean Motomu Toriyama is as much to blame here, if not even worse, this is the guy who directed X-2, I’m sure if anything he might have done more harm) it is kinda hard to detach the directors from the product however, especially in this case when a lot of people’s gripes come from unnecessary filler, tone, and terrible pacing. That’s kind of all the directors job you know? 

I detest the idea that a good tone is only set by the standards of western cinema or the soviet montage standards. You can accomplish a good and serious tone by a lot of means, it doesn’t need to be 100% serious, but I don’t want it to become as ridiculous or redundant as a low-budget shonen anime. It doesn’t help FF7 Remake case because it doesn’t go out to compliment FF7 that well. It doesn’t matter what Nomura thinks a “remake’ entitles, because regardless, the changes in this will forever be compared to the original, FF7 remake does not exist in a vacuum, it isn’t a stand-alone original game, it just feels like a weird adaptation that doesn’t fair well to the original plot structure.

Which is where I’ll start to bring this long commentary to a halt! If Nomura himself admits that FF7′s Remake is Final Fantasy VII Compilation Part 5 well all I have to say, and what has and will always be my stance of this so called “compilation” is:

The compilation of final fantasy 7 has always been over redundant filler. It’s all either so bad it’s good or so fanservicey it’s obnoxious. Every single compilation is a mixed bowl of “This is actually cool” and “this is just dumb and unnecessary”. The novels, the side-entries on flip phones, they all feel as if they come from a smug aura of “Clearly you didn’t get the plot from one game alone so we clearly have to expand on it so we can get EXTRA MONEY!”

Oh and the whole one winged angel shit (now a plot device thanks to crisis core) and the NOMURA idea of “you gotta play all of the entries to understand this shit” fucking sucks man! 

Nomura games are so close to being so good, but there’s always that fucking CRINGE that appears, and this kind of shit makes me actually sincerely use the word “cringe”, cloud might as well pull a fucking keyblade in which LIGHTNING from Final Fantasy 13 is there saying how she is THE BEST CHARACTER EVER MADE whatever! Consistency and tone is dead, we get it. 

Every single sequel to Final Fantasy 7 is just cashing in on the fame and it’s unnecessary, you can enjoy FF7 on it’s own. It’s feeling a LOT, A LOT like Disney’s approach to Star Wars, you didn’t have to do all of this for Star War’s simple premise. I feel like that ungrateful child who got a shitty present: You really shouldn’t have.

I mean don't get me wrong, the original has that pre-famous Square Enix comic relief, and the only time you ever got that kind of subtle comic relief again was in Final Fantasy 9, the last call-back to the series being traditional. I think it's impossible to recreate Final Fantasy 7 in the style and tone it was created in 1997, because that WAS LITERALLY before Square Enix became famous and that fame went up to their head.

That's like expecting a “Final Fantasy 6″-type game to not be made by an indie developer or a small dev team today, it's not gonna happen. An AAA developer just does not have the soul to do that today. Many people were like “What if they just did the same thing as the game but with jus priddy graphics” well given the crusty JPEG skyboxes in the remake they couldn’t have even concentrated on that alone it seems, also my answer to that is: of course they’re gonna do that. Square Enix has just enough of an ego to not let shit be simple.

I mean it’s a given right, a lot of people were angry about Chrono Cross because it wasn’t quite Chrono Trigger either (at this point Square Enix was already transitioning into Final Fantasy 8-stuff and going all over the place in terms of quality, with multiple teams developing multiple games, trying to catch the high of Final Fantasy 7, but not really seeing what FF7 did to hook so many people, namely on how FF7 is the most serious and accessible entry in the whole series that isn’t Final Fantasy 6 (although Final Fantasy 6 wasn’t as cinematic which the 90s video games loved the opportunity with the gift OF 3D!).

Also:

Bull fucking shit, I am not convinced you aren’t gonna plaster Sephy-kun flashbacks at every single moment like you have, like if you really were to do a beat per beat Final Fantasy 7 remake after that that’s just so funny. 

"OH WE JUST FUCKING SPOILED THE WHOLE GAME IN THE FIRST ACT"

"BUT THE REST OF IT WILL BE NORMAL'

Like... How? Will you lower the budget for the next parts of the remake. That would legit be kinda funny,  "we just wanted to make midgar really long and weird like that, thats all, the rest will be 100% a remake! The alternative universe ghosts won’t come this time.” I just cannot believe that until I see it.

Uh what should I end this long rant with uhhhh...

[buckybarnesbingo]

BBB Week 1 Roundup!  WE HAVE HAD SO MANY FILLS ALREADY!  It’s so exciting!  

Click through and go leave all these wonderful creators some love!

Title: Into the Wild Collaborator: tisfan Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Y2 - IMAGE: Natasha Ship: Bucky/Natasha Rating: Teen Major Tags: moodboard Summary: MoodBoard, song lyrics

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Title: An Eerie Sort of Silence - Chapter 4 Collaborator: Tonks22 Link: AO3 Square Filled: U1 - Bucky/Tony Ship: WinterIron Rating: Gen Major Tags: soulmate AU Summary: Bucky and Tony get closer, but in true Tony fashion, still haven’t talked about their bond. Word Count: 1104

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Title: Flower Shop GIF Board Collaborator: shield-agent78 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K5 - Flower Shop AU Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard Summary: Bucky decides the best way to ask you to marry him is by the use of flowers.

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Title: What’s Your House? Collaborator: shield-agent78 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Y5 - Hogwarts AU Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Gen Major Tags: Moodboard/GIF board   Summary: Moodboard/GIF board

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Title: Defeat Collaborator: shadow-ravin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Y3 -  Art Style: Pastels Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: art  Summary: The Winter Soldier with Cap’s shield and my head canon of Cap when he discovers that  Bucky is the Winter Soldier and learns everything he has been through

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Title: Linguistics–Sound Track Collaborator: shield-agent78 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Y1 - Matchmaker Jarvis Ship: Bucky/Reader Rating: Teen Major Tags: none Summary: Soundtrack to the upcoming remake of the story Linguistics

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Title: Undercover Sex Collaborator: shield-agent78 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: K4 - Sam Wison Ship: Bucky/Reader/Sam Rating: Explicit Major Tags: poly-relationships, sexual tension, language, fluff, sass, good-natured teasing, smut (anal, m/m and f/m), bondage (light bdsm) Summary: Series where Bucky and Sam both meet the woman of their dreams, but she’s unable to choose between the two men so they decide she doesn’t have to. Word Count: 1783

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Title: Smile Collaborator: shadow-ravin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: B2 - Writing Format: Drabble Ship: Stucky Rating: Gen Major Tags: drabble  Summary: The Asset remembers Steve. Word Count: 100

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Title: Winter Soldier Mittens Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: Tumblr Square Filled: Y1 - cyborg Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: fandom craft Summary: Mittens with the WS symbols sewn on

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Title: Make It Home - Chapter 3: Impromptu Dance Lessons Collaborator: pherryt Link: AO3 Square Filled: B1 - Team Bonding Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Gen Major Tags: Fake relationship, hurt!Clint, deaf Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes recovering, nightmares Summary: Nobody's seen Clint since SHIELD fell, until now. Word Count: 10,838

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Title: Maximum Occupancy and Other Polyamory Concerns Collaborator: Wiggle Link: AO3 Square Filled: C4 - Crossover of your choice Ship: Bucky/Clint/Steve/Tony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Some drinking, less than canon typical violence, pre-relationship kind-of, m/m/m/m Summary: This week on How I Met Your Fathers, we answer the big questions: Can you put out a dumpster fire if it's raining men? *Hallelujah* Word Count: 1447

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Title: Push the button Collaborator: Kalee60 Link: Tumblr Square Filled: U2 - Bucky/Steve Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content Summary: When Bucky Barnes meets Captain America for the first time, he doesn’t expect to embarrass himself so spectacularly with only four words. But from the ashes of his mortification comes a proposition so unexpected that he doesn’t even think twice about agreeing to play along. Pretending to date Steve Rogers should be hard, but it isn't… not at all. In fact it’s the easiest thing in the world. So what happens when Bucky wants to shift their status from fake to something more permanent? And more importantly, would Steve even be interested in more than just friends? Word Count: 6233

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Title: Make It Home - Chapter 4: Welcome Confessions Collaborator: pherryt Link: AO3 Square Filled: - Stark Tower Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Gen Major Tags: Fake relationship, hurt!Clint, deaf Clint Barton, Bucky Barnes recovering, nightmares Summary: Nobody's seen Clint since SHIELD fell, until now. Word Count: 14,245

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Title: Care Collaborator: ABrighterDarkness Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y2 - Handle With Care Ship: Stucky Rating: Gen Major Tags: Bucky Barnes recovering, Artist Steve, Tattoos, Fluff Summary: Steve had noticed his discomfort and he had come up with something of a plan. Bucky wasn’t sure that it would work the way that Steve hoped but he thought that he might have agreed to it regardless. Word Count: 2119

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Title: Bucky Barnes, The Boogie-Woogie Bugle Boy Collaborator: rebelmeg Link: AO3 Square Filled: C3 - free square Ship: Bucky & Steve Rating: Gen Major Tags: fluff and humor, Bucky’s memories Summary: It started with a trumpet, continued with a song, and ended with a memory. Or, how Bucky became the Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy, nobody let him forget it, and then he remembered it. Word Count: 3706

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Title: Not a Good Idea Collaborator: Ravin Link: AO3 Square Filled: B3 - Paintball Ship: STucky Rating: Gen Major Tags: Paintball, crack, humor, fluff Summary: In which the Avengers play paintball. Word Count: 427

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Title: [Podfic] ain't too proud Collaborator: Ravin Link: AO3 Square Filled: -  Kink: "Please let me come" Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Begging, mild kink, period-typical homophobia, referenced erectile dysfunction, pre-serum, World War II, Orgasm Delay/Denial Summary: Podfic of ain't too proud by mwestbelle recorded for Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020 for my square Kink: "Please let me come" Author's summary: "C'mon, Stevie." Bucky spreads his arms. "What do I gotta do, beg?" Steve snorts, but Bucky drops to his knees, arms still flung wide in a parody of supplication. "Please, oh please come down from your tower, Princess Goldilocks. Do it for your old pal Bucky." (Bucky begs, Steve likes it.)

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Title: Distraction Collaborator: ABrighterDarkness Link: AO3 Square Filled: U5 - Seeing Red Ship: Stucky, Stuckony Rating: Teen Major Tags: Secret Crush, Canon Divergence, Mission Fic, Injury Summary: It wasn’t the first time that Bucky’s attention had been drawn away from his task on an op when that tell-tale flash of red passed through his peripheral. Word Count: 2461

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Title: Be Bold and Brave it Collaborator: darter_blue Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y5 - Eyeliner Ship: Stucky Rating: Mature Major Tags: Modern Setting, Modern Bucky Barnes, Fluff, Bottom Bucky Barnes Summary: 'You think? It's not too much?' Bucky is twisting and turning to try and see his ass in the pants - and, you know, without being able to turn his head three hundred and sixty degrees it's not super easy, but from what he can see, it's pretty darn good.  'It's a lot, but in a hot way.' Nat is looking him up and down, with her chin in her hands, like an art curator. 'But it's missing something.’  'Yeah, a shirt,' Bucky says. Because he might look great. But he's not one hundred percent sure of this whole vest only look.  'No, I know!' and she disappears into the bathroom for two minutes. Bucky can hear her rattling around in something. Whatever it is, Bucky will be talked into it, however reluctantly. Natasha is very persuasive.  'Okay! I've got it.'  And with a sweeping flick of her wrist, she displays the black eye pencil from her make-up kit.  'Oh no.'  'Oh YES my friend.' Word Count: 3993

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Title: Armor Kink Collaborator: shadow-ravin Link: Tumblr Square Filled: B4 - Kink: Armor Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: moodboard Summary: Moodboard featuring Bucky in his armor. Actually it mostly came out as featuring his arm, but that should count for armor too right?

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Title: Close Combat Collaborator: calmena Link: AO3 Square Filled: C2 - Kink: Cock-blocking 'bots Ship: WinterIron Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Roomba!Ultron, Roomba!JOCASTA, Porn with Feelings, Crack Summary: The one where Tony and Bucky are busy in the bedroom, and Roomba!Ultron has his own opinions about that. Word Count: 1370

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Title: Last Week, a Lifetime Ago Collaborator: ribbonsflyingoutthewindow Link: AO3 Square Filled: U1 - AU: Canon Divergence Ship: Stucky Rating: Teen Major Tags: Mention of Peggy's death, OCs' deaths, Endgame fix-it, Angst, Hopeful Ending Summary: “I wanna talk to him and that’s the hard part. I don’t even know how to talk to him now. It’s like he’s not the same person.”---Bucky struggles to understand Steve after Steve spends decades with Peggy and then returns to him.This is a good part of the Endgame fixit that I swore I wouldn't write, but never say never. In this, Steve chose to stay back, not for selfish reasons, but for a selfless one. And he's still young when he returns because, of course he is. (The serum didn't suddenly stop working. Russos/Markus/McFeely are just idiots.) Word Count: 2641

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Title: Winterbirbs Collaborator: pherryt Link: Tumblr Square Filled: C4 Square - Bucky/Clint Ship: WinterHawk Rating: Gen Major Tags: art Summary: Basically, all the birds.

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Title: Bucky Bear Collaborator: crazycatt71 Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y1 - image of Bucky Bear Ship: None Rating: Gen Major Tags: fandom craft Summary: My 1st fill for Bucky Barnes Bingo is a Bucky Bear I knitted

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Title: Monster Collaborator: phoenixgryphon Link: Tumblr Square Filled: U1 - AU: Regency Ship: none Rating: Gen Major Tags: art  Summary: “Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours, I will be it.”

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Title: A Good Morning Collaborator: ABrighterDarkness Link: AO3 Square Filled: C5 - Kink: Teasing Ship: Stuckony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: Explicit Sexual Content Summary: As erratic as his sleep patterns tended to be, moments like these were rare but among his top favorite. He had awoken from a deep sleep that had been surprisingly free of nightmares, with two of his favorite people in the entire world almost completely surrounding him. And it only got better from there. Word Count: 2422

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Title: One of these days I'll take courage and hug you Collaborator: rya_204 Link: AO3 Square Filled: Y3 - Recovering Bucky Ship: Stucky Rating: Gen Major Tags: angst, touch starved Summary: The Winter Soldier was recently found and placed in the Avengers Tower. Word Count: 1170

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Title: Debriefing Collaborator: DocOlive Link: AO3 Square Filled: B5 - Non-penetrative Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content Summary: Bucky's got other things on his mind during yet another debriefing. Word Count: 2497

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Title: Double Team Collaborator: HogwartsToAlexandria Link: AO3 Square Filled: B4 - Kink: Power Dynamics Ship: Bucky/Pepper/Natasha/Tony Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content, BDSM, polyamory Summary: Sometimes Pepper needs every type of stimulation she can get, most times, all three of her partners are ready to give her exactly that, as long as Natasha will be their conductor. Word Count: 1518

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Title: Humanitarian mojitos Collaborator: diner_drama Link: AO3 Square Filled: U5 - Twitter war Ship: Stucky Rating: Teen Major Tags: meet cute Summary: Bucky Barnes knows full well not to mix Twitter and alcohol, but when his dumbass roommate Clint makes mojitos and points him towards Captain America's takedown-via-tweet of President Ross' foreign policy, what's he supposed to do? Word Count: 1460

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Title: Pressure Points Collaborator: darter-blue Link: AO3 Square Filled: U2 - Kink: Mile High Club Ship: Stucky Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content Summary: Bucky Barnes hates to fly. And this flight is starting out worse than normal. Except for the hot, built, blond sat beside him… Who has shoulders for days, a voice like molasses, and some very interesting ideas about how to ease Bucky’s anxiety… Word Count: 3724

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Title: and now, the end is near Collaborator: hawksonfire Link: AO3 Square Filled: C3 - Free Space Ship: Bucky/Clint/Steve Rating: Explicit Major Tags: explicit sexual content Summary: A three-part tale in which our boys are content. Word Count: 2411

[thattimdrakeguy]

Bendis has gone from one of my secretly favorite writers to one of my least favorite. Like not only has he made the last so many issues of Young Justice contain some of the most bare bones writing, not only has he made some of the most un-logical decisions of Tim’s fictional life (which is jaw dropping), but he also can’t write Damian worth a damn. He showed he couldn’t get more then two things right about him in 6 pages.

Like I’ve already made it clear that I think Damian’s writing for a while now has just been horrid even if no one talks about it, but just ... no, Bendis, no. Bendis can’t even get one of the simplest trademarks of Damian right.

Damian has a very particular way of speaking, it’s something that even fan fic writers can get right, but just, right away Bendis has him say “Yo”, like, it’s so nitpicky, but it’s just such an obvious thing to avoid. Damian’s way of speaking is so straight forward and obvious, so so obvious. How does one get in the position to write a character in an official medium and get something so obvious and simple wrong?

Is it like on the application to be a DC writer “make sure you never read our character’s before”, because I keep reading current comics every now and again and I wonder.

Has Bendis ever read Damian before? It’s like he just had him described to him as he was dozing off, like, how can you be so bad at writing him? He makes him mean and snarky, but like, come oooon, stop being a parody of bad writing. Why is everything with you lately so bare bones and awful?

Damian would not have a card collection, you absolute dolt.

I’m plenty aware that other writers act like he’s a normal kid and crap, but those writers are absolute crap too. You don’t choose the bad writers to be your inspiration.

Do you know a single thing about what you’re writing?

Why are you writing something you clearly don’t understand?

Damian is such a simple and specific character, it should not be this hard to get more than only two things right with him. 

You couldn’t get the simplest things right with him.

These are such small things, but it’s blowing my mind how reoccurring these things constantly happen.

Even the artist, I love David LeFuente so much, like he’s one of my favorite artists, and I love his Tim and all that, but like, why doe he choose to draw some of the characters so weird?

I love the way he draws Jon, but why does Jon look older then how he drew Conner? They’re the same age currently aren’t they? Conner’s like a young adult now by the way they act. Very late high school years at the very least since they don’t actually specify how long he’s been in Gemworld. So why does Conner look about 4 years younger then his Jon when if anything he’d be older? Like Lefuente’s Conner didn’t look like Conner at all. How did he make Conner look younger than Jon?

And why does Damian look 5? I know a lot of artist struggle to draw younger kids, but why do they constantly get artists that seem like they never seen a 13 year old to draw Damian. It cannot be that hard to have an artist that knows what a 13 year old looks like to draw Damian. There has to be at least one person that can do that. DC, just hire a guy that can draw a 13 year old, to draw your 13 year old character, please. If they’re going to draw them, that should be one of the requirements, you know, actually being able to draw them.

Like why is it so hard to find artists that can draw Tim and Damian? Neither one of them has an easy time finding creative teams that get them. It seems like both of those guys have such struggles finding artists and writers that seem like they actually know what they look like and act like.

Even the language used to describe the issue feels off “These two best buds”, like I don’t make it a secret Super Sons is garbage, and the whole progression of their relationship when it became a thing is some of the worst I’ve ever seen in any comic ever, but like, DC clearly loves them, Didio has said so, and it’s no surprise DC can’t even get what they love right, but “two best buds” doesn’t sound like it’s referring to a thing describing Damian.

It’s another nitpick, but it’s another that’s like, so easy to avoid, because it’s like “oh hey maybe this doesn’t sound like it’s referring to a Damian thing, maybe we should change it. Like it’s so simple, so freaking simple. It’s not a big deal at all in the big run, but something that takes a literal nanosecond to realize is off isn’t that hard to fix. It’s so simple, so genuinely simple, and they got it wrong. All these things they’re getting wrong just keep adding up to the point it’s becoming parody-level’s of stupid it keeps happening.

DC is so inadequate at such basic things at this stage in the game. Even describing things to fit what they’re describing is becoming hard for them. Damian is not a character you describe like he’s a bro or something, it’s not that hard.

Damian is not that hard of a character to get right at all. He’s genuinely very simple. If you never seen him in your entire life. It would take like 3 to 4 issues to understand his character. How he acts, what his thought processes are like, and his life style, but somehow they keep messing that up.

I want Damian to be in a comic that actually knows what to do with him so badly. Like I’m so sick of every comic he’s in getting the most simplest yet obvious things wrong with him.

A big flaw of this specifically, is just how much Super Sons doesn’t work as a concept. It’s very superficial why people want them together, and yet somehow the way they put it together doesn’t work even worse. They have to ignore a lot of obvious stuff to make it even be a thing, which is exactly what they did, so anything involving them is right away so forced that it’s gut-wrenchingly distracting.

But it’s like stuff like this, with the smallest details, just sort of represents a lot about DC, and I think this is why it’s bugging me so much. The amount of obvious stuff they get wrong or at least off is becoming more grating to me.

DC has a massive habit of avoiding the most obvious simple stuff, to instead make a crap load of dumb ideas in.

In this case it’s super small, like a few choices of words, but at this stage it’s just slaps in the face. Get one freaking thing right.

You some how think Tim would change his name just like that, which is just stupid.

You forget almost everything about Damian’s character to put him in places he doesn’t belong.

You think Batman would beat up his kids. His parents died when he was a kid, that happened, but he didn’t become Batman because he was a psychopath, he became Batman to avoid crimes like that happening. That’s the very DNA basic level of Batman, and you got it wrong multiple times in the past few years, and he is your most popular character. You can’t get the basics of your most popular character in Batman right.

And you seem to think doing everything people don’t want is going to get you sales, when after a while people are just gonna leave.

You cannot get the simplest of things right, obvious, simple things, that take a nanosecond of thought, and you get them wrong.

A character that never wanted to stop being Robin like Tim, probably isn’t going to randomly change his identity to match a person that just tried to kill him like how you’re acting. It should take no thought at all to realize that’s a very dumb idea, but you seem to be doing it when you probably shouldn’t.

A character who became a crime fighter to stop crimes, probably isn’t going to beat the crap out of his kids for doing nothing wrong. He didn’t even try to find out if Jason did something, he just assumed without doing any detective work, and he’s a detective. He hit Tim in the face so hard he fell to the ground because Tim wanted to help him. That’s so stupid. I don’t care if Batman’s being mentally tortured by Bane during that last bit, the very basic morals of Batman would probably kick in considering it’s like no one’s ever tried to mentally torture him before. I’m pretty sure hitting a kid in the face isn’t gonna be his first thought when all the kid did was try to help him.

These small minuscule things that they can’t get right. The people that do that are in charge of major things in a company that used to give people something to be happy about each month, are just like this. Even simple (most likely barely noticeable to most people things) things escape them.

Damian is more then just being a snarky, mean, dude.

I’m so unreasonably upset that they keep messing up this character in the simplest of ways.

They’ve already ruined the whole point of his character development, they ignore half the bad stuff he does almost like they purposely want to avoid character development, the very simple basics of his character they ignore to pander to a very easily amused audience, and it’s just tiring.

Damian is like that unmentioned horribly written character, and I think it’s because his arrival was that beginning of the end era of DC were all the crap we hate now started. Like his character ever showing up at all was ridiculous and I won’t pretend otherwise, but at least as an Elseworld’s character he had promise. 

Like because his character showed up in the beginning of the end, a lot of the fans that are still around care less and less about stuff, so no one comments on it. Compared to someone like Tim who been around since 1989, so when they got the smallest but most simplest of things wrong with him it got called out more. Plus, the somewhat surprisingly large amount of people that are that easily persuade by easy pandering praise some of the stuff, so other people assume nothing is wrong.

DC, please, just get writers and people in-charge that can actually think for more than a nanosecond.

Within 6 pages they already got the basic trademarks of a very simple character wrong, and couldn’t even realize that two measly words were bizarre choices. He is not a little kid bro-ing around with his school bestie. I know Super Sons probably did that, but because a comic did it, does not make it a good idea. That’s still completely ridiculous and out of character for Damian to do, seeing how he showed no interest until it suddenly happened. He is a stubborn, half-way anti-social character, he is not going to kidnap, terrify, threaten, and stalk a little kid, to then have the kid he did that to, mostly ignore all that and be okay with it, while no one barely does a thing about his behavior. They set those kids on a trip together. That makes no sense. I get Jon is a superhero with powers, but basic parenting says don’t force your kid to be around someone who would realistically traumatize them. Like, basically, it doesn’t work. At a molecular level, it does not work. Fiction that can be as fantastical as superhero comics is typically maintained by following human logic, or at least in the modern day of comics, but they just ignored that completely.

I don’t expect every writer ever to get everything right about every character, but they couldn’t even get the way he talks right. They couldn’t even realize that “hey, maybe he wouldn’t like this stuff”.

I’m so tired of Damian being reduced to tropes and archetypes that don’t fit, and seeing people actually cheer it on.

He’s not a normal kid, he’s never been shown to be interested in the stuff they act like until they suddenly acted like he was. 

He was a unique character that had stories that could’ve been told but instead people chanted for him to be one of those blood curdlingly generic characters ever.

He’s just a school bully type of character now with a secret heart of gold or something.

He was more then that, and he deserves to be more then that.

Why is the generic and simple being cheered on?

He stuck out like a sore thumb, and had unique stories that could’ve been told, but instead it seems like so many people just want him to be the most bland, generic excuse of a character ever because they find it cute or something.

To me, Damian should’ve never been made, at least not have been put into the main DC universe. I believe that his introduction broke a lot of the Bat-Family because of writers constantly making everyone out of character to try and make him work, when just letting characters react like how they would react would be much more interesting and unique. I think in the long run he was a very bad idea, BUT, if you’re going to do it, why are you constantly ruining the character that you soiled a lot of stuff for to begin with just like that? You can’t even care about that? 

You are a comic book company, your basic design should be to create characters and stories that entertain people. Your basic structure shouldn’t be to just bastardize the stuff you made when people were enjoying it.

Even the stuff you went out of your way to do and partially left a mess you later on just butchered.

How is a company that produces fiction run by people that can’t understand what’s in their own product?

I wouldn’t be nearly, even close to as upset as I am unreasonably so right now if this stuff didn’t keep happening. If this obviously avoidable stuff didn’t keep showing up. If this was one time weird thing then what ever, but this obvious stuff keeps happening, like no one knows why they’re writing what they are.

Like this isn’t about so much as Damian saying “yo” and implied to have a card collection, as it is me being upset that DC keeps getting the simplest things about their own characters wrong to such an extent that even the most bare bones obvious thing about a character is even being done wrong. They couldn’t even get how a character that talks very distinctly speaks right, they couldn’t even get their very straight forward and simple life style right.

I wish DC would just go bankrupt or something, because it’s so stupid that every comic I read there’s a bunch of ridiculous stupid garbage in it.

But OH HEY, NIGHTWING’S COMING BACK.

Tynion’s a bad writer, but he at least knows that maybe fans would like their favorite character to be called by their actual name. So I guess one of the dumbest decisions DC’s probably made ever is being undone, but the fact the decision was ever made to begin with is ridiculous.

[proxylynn]

Lynchtale: File Name Game of Death #4

Chapter 4: To aid is sin and one that brings more pain.

WARNING: THIS IS A MATURE STORY THAT WILL HAVE BLOOD, GORE, PSYCHOLOGICAL SURVIVAL HORROR, HEAVY CURSING, AND LIKELY SEXUAL THEMES/BONING. I DO NOT OWN UNDERTALE, THAT BELONGS TO LORD TOBY FOX. I DO NOT OWN DEAD BY DAYLIGHT, THAT BELONGS TO BEHAVIOUR DIGITAL INC.. I DON'T OWN THE AU'S THAT SOME OF THE CHARACTERS COME FROM, THEY BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE CREATORS. I DON'T OWN THE IDEA FOR LYNCHTALE, THAT BELONGS TO PUNNYSIDEUP (AKA. SANSFULPUNS). WHAT I DO OWN IS MY SELF-INSERT OC ANOMALY LYNSIE AND THE LOVE OF FAN PARODY. IF YOU'RE STILL READING THIS, THEN CONGRATULATIONS ON EITHER BEING ONE WITH STRONG DETERMINATION OR AN ENDLESS WILL TO OVERCOME THE CHALLENGE OF STOMACHING WHAT I HAVE IN MIND. EITHER WAY, IF YOU LIKE THIS AND/OR MY OTHER CONTENT, SIT BACK AND ENJOY THE ETERNAL PUNISHMENT. HAVE FUN SINNERS. ^_^

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Two trials have passed since my reawakening. With a bit more explaining, Claudette was more willing to teach me her perk of Self-Care. Every little bit helps when it will come to stopping the killer within me. Even Dwight makes amends with me by showing me how to access the Bloodweb. To do so, one must close their eyes then enter a meditative trance-like state where the mind is a space between reality and abstraction. Basically, it can be accessed through thought and sleep patterns. In this space, one can use the Bloodpoints, Iridescent Shards, Auric Cells...mostly Bloodpoints though. With these points, one can acquire Add-ons, Items, Offerings, and even other Perks that aren't person-specific. But I don't have many after my first trial so I don't get to collect many things. If I'm honest, I just grabbed a few random Nodes. Though I did notice something odd. The web was broken in half and some of the things I got...I don't think are meant for Survivors. Despite this obvious red flag, I don't tell the others about it. I mean, I don't plan on using these blatant killer things so why tell them about it? Well...Maybe just one. The one that offers me bonus Bloodpoints. An unidentifiable cocoon that was breached by whatever was inside called Hollow Shell that gives a 25% increase. I don't see how this could do any harm. And extra points are extra points worth at least possibly getting. The timing of all this is rather convenient. A new trial is commencing. One that involves me. Time for my second trial to begin now.

[INTO THE FOG AND OUT ELSEWHERE]

My vision clears to a blackened sky, dead forest, full moon, and the faint scent of char of a long since past fire. I have never been to this realm but I know where I am. The Entity literally drilled all sorts of knowledge into my mind, Maps being some of it, and this one is the Disturbed Ward of Crotus Prenn Asylum.

There is insanity, and then there are minds that are so severely distorted that they cease being humans. Instead, they end up a feral, living, unwanted things. These people must be "stored" somewhere, and that's where the Crotus Prenn Asylum played a crucial role. Established in 1857, Crotus Prenn was originally a hospital, but as the need for storage grew, it was turned into an insane asylum. Crotus Prenn was a place riddled with tall tales that aren't even close to the reality that takes place within its walls. It was never the biggest asylum, but the one that held the most violent and warped minds the country had ever met. But it was not the residents that etched the name Crotus Prenn into the history books. Instead, it was the mass homicide where over fifty patients were found dead in their beds. The building was abandoned shortly after that. Investigators had no answers, and the town's folk became more and more worried as rumors talked about a woman still living inside the asylum. Finally, one night, smoke rose from the woods as Crotus Prenn had been set ablaze. The bystanders did nothing. They just let it burn. The last standing structure after the fire, that still shows the grandeur of the original architecture. Its two floors and dark basement leave nothing of the tale of horrors that took place here. Nothing but memories that linger in the abandoned rooms.

This place...This place is the home of the Nurse. In a funny sense of irony, the Entity did little to informed me of the monsters outside of the basics. She is technically the slowest killer currently in the realms but can blink/teleport with blinding speed to anywhere all over the area and slash you with her bonesaw, a rusted metal implement for tearing through flesh as well as bone. There is a painful tell if the Nurse is indeed here. In order to Blink, she channels the dying breath energy of past kills to allow her to pierce and jump through the Spirit World, sometimes multiple times in a row. Doing so leaves her in a state of fatigue as blinking is quite painful to her, hence why she will shriek after each Blink. Yet so far, as I crawl in the thick tall grass and decaying structures littering the grounds, all has been quiet. I'm lucky to find a generator with some decent cover and I start to fiddle with it. I'll show my team that I'm productive and not as big of a liability as they think. As this team is probably expecting me to fail. I got stuck with Adam, Min, and Nea. Poor guy is drowning in a torrential estrogen agro sea.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

That is a sound I was hoping not to hear.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

I don't even have to peek to see the ghostly figure fly upwards, leaving a trail of glowing dots and black smoke in her wake, through the asylum. My progress on the generator stops as I don't want to be distracted and mess up, alerting to my location. I know not if this is her intended strategy, but if I had that power, I'd use the height advantage to look for any movement or gen-repair happening in the mist. I don't know if she can see me from wherever she has landed in that place, but sight is only a minor thought. It's likely Legion has said things to the other monsters. He knows about my strange terror radius. If he told them anything, it was probably that and now I have to be on guard even more for monsters that are listening for me and can hunt me down easy.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

She sounds further away. Spotting prey elsewhere and going for it. I feel safe enough for now to continue repairing the generator. It feels a good 60% done when I hear softly crunching earth and yet no terror radius. One of my teammates is near.

"*whisper* Yo, who's there?"

His hair stands out before he can say anything.

"*whisper* It's me. Do you need a hand?"

"*whisper* Not really. This thing is almost done. But the boost wouldn't hurt."

He creeps over to help me.

"So...Did you see her yet?"

Here come the questions that will annoy me.

"Nurse? Not up close. She blinked up into the asylum and then out of sight."

"I saw her for a moment then she went near where Min was repairing."

"She'll be fine. She has Nea to cover her."

His expression is blank though it feels forced.

*CLANK*

The lights pop on and I back away from the generator.

"Where are you going?"

I don't look at him.

"She'll come investigating. You don't want to be around me in case things happen."

"You don't have to go it alone. We're a team. There's no 'I' in team."

"But there is a 'me'. And this me is going to make sure I don't hurt anyone."

He reaches out to follow but I scamper away into the thicket. I know Adam means well, but I am not a very sociable person. I prefer to be by myself. I'm a team player that doesn't like to be on a team. I know, that made no damn sense. Sue me.

*CLANK*

*HIGH-PITCH SHIRK*

Two gens down and someone's only now just got hurt. Not bad.

*HIGH-PITCH SHIRK*

...Never mind. I guess I have no choice but to play distraction to keep them from dying. Ugh...They're already forcing me to do shit. Damn it!

[Breaking Point: Triggered. Resentment Tier I activated.]

What?! God damn...No, no, calm down. Ignore the crap and be a good helpful person.

"Hellooooooo, Nurse!"

I shout to the heavens. Come on. Take my bait. Why go after them when I'm here and you can see what I can do?

"Come on! What are you waiting for? Don't waste your time on worms when there's a beast right here!"

Somehow I can feel the rage from across the map. Nea is so easy to piss off it's sad.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

I barely see the burly movement zipping through the fog. I need to play this safely or all hell will happen. So what do I do? I impersonate Kermit the Frog like a flipping moron. Of course, this gets the Nurse's attention and the real game starts.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

The sudden whoosh of a weapon just missing its mark to hit a rock behind me has me kick it into high gear.

"Wee-woo, mother fucker!"

Probably more cocky than needed but can't take it back now.

"You can run, child..."

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

She cuts me off, taking a swing and slicing deeply into my arm when I try to dodge.

"But there is nowhere to run. Especially, from the likes of me."

True to the nature of my skills as dictated by the Entity, I don't make a loud sound of pain. I grit my teeth while biting my tongue and grab the wound as if my skin were to roll off like a torn sleeve. Blood covering my arm, hand, and ground in a steady stream.

[Breaking Point: Triggered. Resentment Tier II activated.]

My nerves jitter with a sense of warm darkness. I can feel that call from before. That want to panic and overreact, to lash out.

*CLANK*

The third generator pops and the Nurse is momentarily distracted and this good step toward progress does quell the feeling enough to remember I need to run! Nurse makes the choice to ignore the others and keep after me.

"You've got to be kidding?!"

She isn't blinking. She's merely chasing me, her form floating seamlessly and faintly gaining speed as she continues to follow. All while my pace isn't as steady, I'm stumbling over the slightest thing and seem to spook every crow without fail. I am regretting doing anything! During this messed up run, I notice lights flickering with power and decide to do a little test. I make a beeline for that generator. Of course, the three others working on it don't react well to this. To Adam's credit, he takes cover against the gen and a tree, letting the dark camouflage him. Min takes off in a burst of speed, probably telling herself button commands because of gamer logic. Nea, however, hurls an uncreative obscenity at me and proceeds to shove me back into the Nurse herself. Nurse doesn't take this well, her frail form is unable to support my weight and I crush the monster in my awkward tumble.

"Get wrecked, asshole!"

Nea flees into the darkness, aiming to find another generator since we only need two more to escape. My annoyance levels increase. I can feel the urges for violence strengthen. Whispers of dark intentions. I stain as hard as I can to keep sane and move away from the Nurse. But I can't see right with all this mental pressure and blood loss, I have to lean against a tree to not trip over my own feet...again. The Nurse takes some time returning to her floating state. She looks my way, her bonesaw clenched in her hand, yet she doesn't move from her position. She merely stares at me. I'm not sure which is more unnerving, her featureless staring or the loud heartbeat pounding my already aching mind? The uncomfortableness and pain are not letting me think straight. So I'm not too surprised that the part of me that controls speech goes off.

"*strained* What are you doing?"

"I beg your pardon?"

I turn to her as she tilts her head, at least getting a good look at her. The shape of this monster is...odd to me. She's not a shadow like Wraith or skeleton like Legion. She is an anthropomorphic mammal, one that seems familiar yet unknown due to not being able to see her face. An old stained white linen pillowcase seems to be smothering her head, tied tight by unseen binds, though this does allow for a shape to be defined. Her head is Bovidae-like and even has two slightly curved horns that poke out. She wears a worn standard-issue dirty purple nurse uniform from the early twentieth century, designed with white lace patterns on the breast and held around the waist with a blood-stained red belt. The bottom of her uniform is torn and tattered, showing off her white fur covered broken legs. Granted, I'm 100% that they're broken but damn they look it or are just deteriorated to the point that standing on them would be next to impossible. Her bare feet resemble paws and so do her hands except, you know, they're hands that are covered in fur. Honestly...She's the least scary thing I could've imagined when told a Nurse was going to kill me.

"*strained* Why aren't you trying to kill me? I'm an easy mark right now."

She ponders for a moment.

"I am assessing the situation."

"*strained* Why? You've hit me once already and I haven't healed. Hit me again and I go into the dying state to which you can hook me. What's to assess?"

"How much longer you will last with such a sickness eating away at your mind."

My eyes widen. She knows? Knows what's happening to me? How? Legion didn't know. He couldn't have jumped to such a conclusion with the tiniest of hints. So how in the hell does she know? What the fuck?!

"*strained* ...You're going to keep after me till I snap, aren't you?"

She holds the weapon in front of her, delicately skimming a small claw at the end of her finger over the smooth metal back.

"You are a clever one for one so sick. Then again, the clever ones always tend to be the sickest...and require the most attention."

Her tone is something more creepy than she herself is. It holds this strict authority and threatening power that has me flashing back to watching the movie Matilda as a kid, more accurately, being intimidated by the character Miss Agatha Trunchbull. And much like a child in the face of something dreadful, I mentally freak out running like a rabbit from a wolf.

My chest is pounding like crazy, not helping the bleeding arm. Nurse, again, resumes her pursuit of me yet now she's hammering me with jump scares blinking so close that my breathing falters quite a few times.

"*shrike* Leave me alone!"

If she speaks I know not. I can't hear anything but the heartbeat.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

I crash in my panic into everything in my way. I'm a mess. I'm not even sure how I'm still running other than I'm burning adrenaline like crazy.

*CLANK*

The forth generator pops. I feel pressure lessen from my soul and for a second I recall relief.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

*HIGH-PITCH ROAR*

The slash to my back is so sudden I collide with one of the burning oil drums that light the fog. The drum remains standing. I do not. I'm in the dying state. Bleeding out unless hooked or healed by a teammate, the latter being highly unlikely.

"Poor child..."

She hovers over my bloody twisted form.

"They have left you to die."

Fuck! What is she going to do? Hook me? Mori me? Leave me to bleed? Damn it! I don't want to die! Not like this!

[Embrace it, worm. Embrace the gift the Entity has given you. Unleash the beast.]

The whispers repeat and overlap. Madness is engulfing what little humanity remains at this point. I can't take this!

"What will you do now, child?"

She reaches down to pluck me like a flower.

"What will you do to stop me from killing you?"

*THUD*

She pauses. Something is nearby. I'm not going anywhere, even if crawling is an option, so she investigates the sound. Might as well try to stop the other humans I suppose. She gets out of sight when something else enters my visual range.

"*whisper* Don't move. Man, she really got you good."

Adam? He came for me? I...I'm brain dead. He used his Distraction perk to toss a pebble. Yeah, as dumb as that sounds, that's a special perk of his. It's like my Snowball's Chance but only works when not noticed by the killer.

He works as quickly as he can to heal me, for it is the power of the Nurse to know when healing is being done. Thank goodness he has acquired a med-kit and gets me out of dying state, though not fully healed, by the time the heartbeat starts to return. I hobble just behind him, the Nurse no doubt trailing my blood and scratch marks.

"Can you keep up?"

Why is he concerned for me?

"*wince* Why did you risk exposing yourself? You only need one gen to leave."

He chuckles.

"There might be a 'me' in team, but this me won't let my team die if I can help it."

That hit me. He used my own words on me. Such a mad lad.

"*wince* Heh...Thanks, man."

He throws a peace sign and I laugh, feeling the most normal since this trial began.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

*LOW-PITCH YELL*

Wetness...Crimson...It's in my eyes. I'm blinded by Adam's blood spray.

"Look out!"

Of course, I can't.

*HIGH-PITCH ROAR*

I'm slashed across the chest and I drop to the ground, feeling so very weak. I blink enough to see in colors other than red only to see Adam scurry away. I don't blame him. It's only natural. What pains me is the look back take he does. His face screams "I'm sorry". He's not coming back. Not this time.

[What will you do now, little worm? He was your last chance.]

I feel myself being lifted and put over Nurse's shoulder.

*CLANK*

*ALARM*

The popping of the fifth generator unlocks the gates and now I know all hope is lost on anyone coming to get me. Nea and Min definitely won't make the attempt. And Adam? He might but it would be illogical to self-preservation. My attention returns to the here and now when Nurse stops moving...she's found a hook.

[Last chance, little worm. Will you let them get away with their sins? Their abandonment of you? The betrayal? The disrespect? Embrace the beast. Teach them the error of their ways. Embrace the Entity.]

As she lifts me, ready to pierce my back on the dirty metal of sacrifice, I give up...and give in.

[Breaking Point: Triggered. Resentment Tier III activated.]

[You made the right choice, little beast. Now...Prove to the worms that it is a mistake to wrong you.]

[Special Ability: Anomaly State...Activated.]

...

[Toriel.]

Nurse freezes in her action.

"Master?"

[Put the little beast down. Stop the other worms. The Entity will reward you handsomely.]

This is a bit puzzling to the Nurse.

"Of course, Master. But why not accept this one? Is she too sick?"

[You will see soon enough. Enjoy having a friend, my dear.]

Further confusion comes to her but no killer disobeys the Entity unless they want to be tortured. And the Doctor did say they should observe this one. So she sets the lifeless looking human down and does as instructed, blinking away towards one of the exit gates. A sudden light comes to Nurse's vision...Healing is happening. Locking onto this, she moves with long blinks to find the male being tended to by one of the females. The surprising yet predictable ambush does not go without bloodshed.

*LOW-PITCH YELL*

The male is struck down while the female tries to escape. He's not going anywhere, so Nurse blinks and lunges for a hard slash, but the female dashes quickly just out of range. Probably used that damn perk called Dead Hard to avoid the damage.

*HIGH-PITCH SHIRK*

This has Nurse and human stop in puzzlement.

*ROAR*

The confusion only grows. But it's not like the monster or human forget where they are or what the situation is and resume the chase.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

The heartbeat? Then that means that sick one is near. Poor thing. She must truly be ill of not even the Entity wanted to feed on her soul.

"*grunting* Fucker! Get off of me!"

The sounds of a distressed and agitated human is close...real close. Curiosity peeked, Nurse shifts directions and follows the ever increasing pounding.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

Leaping out from the top of the asylum, the distasteful female lands on her feet to keep running as the sick human pounces down to chase after her on all fours. This sight is a perplexing one indeed. She couldn't see much, but based on their movements, they seemed to be healed. And their eyes...glowing?

*LOW-PITCH GRUNT*

Someone's healing. That's a no-no.

*GHASTLY SHIRK*

Zooming over to the healing humans, suddenly the healing stops. Before it clicks in her head as to why, Nurse blinks through a wall only to be blinded by the bright focused beam of a well-aimed flashlight and smacks her face into a large rock. The offending human is gone by the time Nurse's vision returns but the male they were trying to help is futilely crawling into the grass.

"I think not, little man."

If left alone he'd only need a bit more healing to get back up or bleed out. Nurse skips to the chase and hooks the poor soul up like a cow in a slaughterhouse.

*LOW-PITCH YELL*

"Now...Where did those little brats go?"

*HIGH-PITCH SHIRK*

Well, that's helpful.

She doesn't blink away, simply following the sounds of pain and heavy breathing off in the distance.

lub-dub...lub-dub...

This sick one again? What insanity is she doing now?

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

"The hell is wrong with you?!"

"Get to the gate!"

Do they know she can hear them? Do they think monsters don't understand them? Such idiocy will be their downfall.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

*HIGHT-PITCH SHIRK*

"Blind this bitch!"

"I can't get a clear shot!"

"Don't you fucking leave me!"

Oh really? This is sounding more interesting.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

"You are so lucky I don't have Decisive Strike or I'd so stab the shit out of you!"

"*snarling*"

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

*HIGHT-PITCH SCREAM*

Was that...a hooking? No...It couldn't be. 'Twas impossible. This had to be a fluke. She was the only monster in the trial. Only one could be in a trial. That's the rule.

*ALARM BLARE*

The gate is being opened. Though judging by the hooked auras, it must be by the remaining female. Fine. Escape this time, brat. Your demise can wait a little longer. There are far more interesting events going on.

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

It's coming from behind the shack? It makes some sense. The basement hadn't spawned in there this time.

"*grunting* Disgusting freak! You're so dead when we get back to camp!"

Harsh words. Aimed at a fellow human? Such a strange trial.

*ALARM BLARE*

"It won't be long now..."

The sick one?

"Min won't come for you. How does it feel to be left for dead?"

"*grunting* Speak English, bitch!"

*ALARM BLARE*

*METAL SCRAPING*

*DARK BELL BONG*

One of the gates open, the End Game Collapse has begun as Nurse comes around the shack and what she witnesses through the cloth covering her is not something she expected. The disrespectful human was on the hook and being watched by the sick human, only she looked a bit...different. Her hair was loose and shrouded her face, though her eyes glowed white under such curtain. Her arms dangled limply at her sides, hands bent like claws with nails to match. Her posture was slightly hunched yet that was probably because she was standing on her toes.

The sky rumbles with the thunderous approach of the Entity, aiming to claim it's first snack and earning the sick human's attention to see Nurse. The slight turn in her direction gives a better view of her face. White orbs surrounded by darkness that seemed to drain down her cheeks. As if...crying?

"Poor sick child..."

The human doesn't blink.

"You look so unwell."

She looks at the hooked human.

"They use me...Call me a freak...A liability...Yet they bring about their own end."

Slowly she steps away. Heading towards the opened gate or where she perceives it to be.

"*grunting* Hey! Come back here!"

The sacrificed human is ignored.

"They need to learn...Learn that they won't get away with such things anymore."

Her tone is ominous yet somber, almost remorseful. Nurse only watches this odd human walk away. Now as odd as this is, the fact that the collapse is still happening means the trial is not completely over with. Even as the Entity returns to snatch up the other hooked human, the burning veins along the ground persist. Further curiosity has the Nurse following the remaining human. She pays the Nurse no mind, as if not believing her to exist. Arriving at the gate, the human pauses and stares at the site of the campfire. Her only promise of safety in an otherwise deadly world. The instinct to stop her comes to the Nurse but she restrains herself to witness any further oddities. Bit by bit, she gradually steps towards her freedom. She approaches the escape boundary, only for The Entity to spawn the same spikes that usually block vaults for Survivors and stop the Killers from leaving the Trial grounds. She is understandably confused and attacks the spikes with her claws to no avail. Poor thing. She's become so sick that she isn't recognized as human anymore. Something gets her attention, whispers on the wind speaking to her and telling her things she doesn't like. She roars out in frustrated anguish.

[She has learned a harsh lesson.]

"Master?"

[Monsters can not leave to the campfire of humans. Her only chance of leaving here alive is the hatch. But she has no time to look for it. She will not survive. I leave her fate to you, Toriel.]

Such a cruel thing. But so true. There is no saving this one. She's too sick to be saved. The only way out now would be painful. Yet perhaps...there is still some mercy to be given to this child.

"Young one..."

Nurse's soft voice gets her attention.

"There is no escape."

The poor girl looks completely defeated. She even drags herself over to Nurse.

"If you mean to kill me...please...make it quick."

Pity. An emotion Nurse believed she had forgotten. None of the other humans brought that feeling out in her or her fellow monsters. She puts her hands on the girl's shoulder apologetically.

"You poor thing. So much suffering is hidden in those eyes."

"Not sure how you can see that or anything else with that case over your head, but you wouldn't be good at what you do if you couldn't."

"Call it something akin to mother's intuition."

That got somewhat of a small smile to breach her gloom.

"Sorry."

"Sorry?"

"Yeah. For how I acted and junk. Just thought I'd say sorry before you...you know."

No need to make this difficult, human.

"Thank you, child."

She appears ready to speak further but Nurse makes the call to end it now. Her hands swiftly grasp the human's throat and she forces her to the ground. Naturally, the girl is reluctant to be strangled and grips at Nurse's wrists in an effort to pry them off. This struggle does little to lessen the pressure on her windpipe. With the life fading from her form she claws at Nurse's face. Her sharps nails snag a bit of the cloth and tear a small opening, showing off the intense red eyes hidden inside.

*CRACK*

The flailing ceases. Limbs fall to the wayside. Head lulls back and eyes empty of light. The human is dead.

"Rest now, child..."

Nurse gently strokes the cheek of the human in solace.

"Now you can rest."

With the last human in the trial now dead, the world begins to be consumed by the realm's fog. Time for the world to be reset for the next trial. Nurse reaches up and feels the hole, touching her face for the first time in unknown ages. It won't last though. This will be reset along with the realm. A fleeting glance with her own eyes before losing such clarity again.

[SURVIVOR'S FOREST]

Cold. Everything feels cold. Everything is quiet. Rather odd for the campfire to be so dead. Suddenly there's feeling. Poking. Sharp poking on the back of my head.

*CAW*

...Okay. That's not normal. Forcing my eyes to open, I see not the light of the fire or faces of those who will most likely piss me off. Only darkness and trees as a crow flutter off my back to gawk at me.

"I didn't realize you things double as alarm clocks."

The bird rears back like it will peck my eye out, only to turn and fly upward while cawing.

"Was it something I said?"

Oh well. Time to stop kissing the dirt and find the fire. I could use some cheering up. David's always good at lifting my spirit. Scrapping myself off the ground hurts. I'm sore and feel dizzy. But I can't stay here because of that. Even if my neck is killing me. Did she really have to snap it? I guess I should be grateful that she did make it quick. Shaking off the stiffness in my joints, I lumber through the woods unsure of how to get to camp but know it's where I'm going. Such a strange feeling. Stranger still is the crow seems to be following me. What do you want with me now Entity?

"I don't know why you didn't put me back at camp, but the least you could do was drop me off closer."

The bird ignores me yet continues to linger. Jackass. Either way, as long as it doesn't cause trouble then I don't mind the company. At some point in my tireless stroll, it takes perch atop my head and I groan.

"Having fun?"

It ruffles its plumage before sitting.

"*sigh* Just don't crap in my hair, okay?"

*CAW*

"I'll take that as a maybe."

I'm not sure how long I've been walking. The trees never seem to end. Yet...I don't feel the fatigue of it.

*CAW*

"What?"

The bird takes flight and something tells me to follow. I run after this harbinger of death. Not sure if it's even leading me anywhere. But soon...I see auras. Auras shaped like people. I move to all fours for faster speed. The smell of smoke finally gets to me. It makes me move faster. By the time I can see light, my body tingles with the anticipation of the fire's warmth. But then...I hear the voices.

"Good! I'm glad she's gone! Fucking freak hooked me!"

Nea. I slow down.

"Do you know 'ow often I've wanted to do that to you?"

David. Never taking her shit.

"Fuck you!"

"Well...It's not like she didn't warn us that something like this could happen."

Dwight. Even his points are nervous wrecks.

"It didn't help that we were going against the Nurse. Once she found her, the damn monster would not stop chasing her for nothing and ignored us till the end."

Thanks, Adam. Maybe it's okay after all.

"And who's fault was that? If she hadn't have shouted than the Nurse would've never found her. At least, no so easily."

Fuck you, Min. Just fuck you.

"She did that because both of you were being attacked. Or did you forget that part? If she hadn't distracted the Nurse, then both of you would've been down after popping that second gen."

I've crept into the bushes and can see them now. No one looks pleased.

"A lot of good that did anyway. Two of us were still hooked. With one being by a fucking team member!"

Nea...Oh, how you know just what to say to make my blood boil.

"You pushed her into the Nurse! And you're seriously wondering why she went after you?"

"The bitch ran at us while being chased! She's lucky I didn't knock her ass out!"

"Fuck you!"

I've had enough listening and spring out of my hiding spot. The whole group just stares at me. Sure, I expected some but not all of them to be looking at me so...oddly.

"What? Are we not allowed to swear all of a sudden?"

David takes a cautious step towards me.

"Luv? Is that you?"

Such a question has me tilting my head in confusion.

"I don't think she knows."

"Poor kid."

Ash and Bill remark.

"Know what?"

"Why is she growling? Is she upset?"

Meg questions as if trying to understand the barks of a dog.

"Okay...I'm just gonna pretend you guys aren't high right now."

I move to join them but barbed spikes, the same that kept me from exiting the gate, now block me from entering the camp.

"What kind of bull is this?"

I touch the spikes and only now notice what they have been seeing this whole time. My hands...These aren't my normal hands. But I died...Why didn't I return to normal? Why am I still a monster? What the fuck is happening to me?!

[Oh, did the Entity forget to mention that if you are killed while in the False Killer state, you shall remain as such till you are brought out of it? So forgetful. Bad Entity, bad. Heheh...]

The ever increasing look of fear and panic on my face has the few good ones concerned, especially David.

"Hey, it's okay, Luv. Just calm down. Can you understand what I'm sayin'?"

This is absolute bullshit! The Entity did this on purpose! Making me suffer still for holding back!

Gripping my stressed-out head, I roar is growing frustration before fleeing back into the woods and away from the shame this affliction is giving me. Vaguely, I want to believe the voices I hear behind me are anything but negative. Damn it all! Why? Why am I like this? Why am I always the freak?

Lost in my private pity party panic I fail to take notice of many warnings that I'm not the only monster in these woods. After probably circling the same carved tree for like the sixth time, something trips me and I skid into the ground. Frankly, I am not having a good day.

"Oh my..."

And suddenly a random voice from the darkness.

"That was quite the tumble. Are you alright, darling?"

Darling? No one calls me that. ...Oh shit. No one I know calls me that. Stranger danger!

"Hmmm...Not much of a talker, are you?"

A figure steps forth and crouches in front of me. Their outfit is pretty basic but they certainly aren't. Just a simple plastic mask with a sort of melted face look that covers part of their face, like the phantom of the opera style while the other side is covered in oil black hair. A faint pink glow shimmers from that lone eye hole. Eerie yet enchanting. Black fabrics shroud their form to help give cover, pinkish-white glossy textures provide light balancing accents, and tendril strips of cloth writhe behind them like four ghostly snakes. They look the most basic, but they are not...The flesh I can see is not meat, but metal. They are a murder machine. A killer robot. And going off the voice...It's a dude.

"Well, no matter. It's better if you just listen than chatter."

That part gets me as I make myself sit up.

"Wait...You're not going to try to kill me?"

He sighs.

"No, darling. At least...Not right now."

Oh great. One of those type of killers. How much worse is this going to get?

"Tell me something, darling...How would you like to have a friend?"

Um...Not gonna lie, I'm blindsided.

"Huh?"

"A friend. You know what one is. Someone you can trust. Depend on. Someone that can help you when you're in need. Now...Wouldn't it be nice to have someone like that?"

Ah. I get it now. He's going to mock me and take pleasure in my empty pointless life before killing me.

"Dude, can you skip the whole belittling me thing and just kill me? I have no fucks to give anymore."

He seems slightly insulted yet remains composed.

"Belittling? No, darling, I wasn't doing anything like that."

"Sure you weren't."

"Really. I wasn't. I am merely extending a hand to someone lost."

"And does said hand hold a weapon in it?"

Now he's offended.

"Well, I never. So defensive when I've done nothing to incur such hostility."

Great...Now I feel bad for insulting a murder...The fuck is wrong with me?!

"No, you're right. I'm sorry I jumped to a conclusion like that. I'm not...myself."

He skims a metal hand under his hood to go through his hair coolly.

"No big deal, darling. I get it. Bad days happen to the best of us."

Okay...This guy is confusing me. Wait...I know him.

"I'm sorry, but are you the one known as...Ghost Face?"

He flinches before becoming way more chipper.

"Oh~? It seems my reputation precedes me."

"The others spoke about you once. But I know as much as the Entity drilled into my head. I merely guessed it was you. I do not know what any of the monsters look like that I haven't met."

That knocks him down a tiny bit yet seems unphased.

"I see. Well, if that's the case..."

He stands up and offers me his hand.

"Allow me to offer you a chance to change that."

It takes a moment to process that.

"You want me...to go with you?"

"A little slow on the uptake. Yeah. That's what I'm offering."

"...Why?"

He sighs. Getting fed up with me enough to quickly reach down and yank me to my feet by the throat.

"Geez. I never thought you'd be so dull in person. I'm offering you something big. Some behind the scene action and get to know the crew. You should feel lucky. Nah, honored."

To try to pry him off would be futile. But that doesn't mean I have to just take this crap.

"*snarl* Let go of me!"

He wags a single finger on his free hand.

"Now now, darling. You won't get anywhere being demanding. Try again with proper respect to your better."

I cringe.

"*growl* Let go of me...Please?"

He smirks.

"Much better."

He puts me down yet doesn't remove his hand.

"Now then, rewinding back a bit...How would you like to make a friend?"

I am not liking this day. In fact, I fucking hate it.

"Sure?"

"Great! The others will just love meeting you. Some are dying to get there hands on you."

And now I'm uncomfortable.

"...I need an adult."

"I am an adult."

"A different one."

"I'll take you to them."

"Can we not?"

His grip tightens and I change my tune.

"*gasp* Okay okay...We can go."

His grip lacks.

"There. Isn't it easier to just go along with things than fight the flow?"

I don't respond. I can't figure a way to do so around him. His personality...It's too mixed to grip. But he gets the point of my silence. Tugging to get me moving as he treks beside me.

"I will admit...You're not quite what I was expecting."

Now he's chatty.

"I've been keeping tabs on you. Taking notes. You're not like this when with the other humans."

...He's been what? No wonder Nurse knew. This guy must've heard and reported it to the others.

"Maybe it's because you're unsure. I am a stranger. You know nothing about me or my motives. For all you know, I could be taking you away to do ungodly things with your body."

That legitimately made me shiver hard. A sensation that makes him chuckle.

"Now there's a reaction. Heheh...So cute. No worries, darling. I have no need of you like that."

I sigh with hope.

"Can't say any of the others won't."

I'm dead. I have to be. Somewhere along the line I died and went to hell. Maybe a bear got me in my sleep or was hit with lightning. Now I'm being punished. Maybe I can make a deal with the devil with a contest or sorts?

"Did that freak you out or are you thinking of a way to attack?"

My thoughts are broken.

"Huh?"

"Ah. You were just lost. Makes sense."

"Um...You were just trying to scare me...right?"

He doesn't respond.

"Right?!"

His composure falters. Unable to keep a straight face.

"*laugh* I'm sorry...*snicker* You just make it so easy to fuck with you."

I am so not in the mood for this.

"That's not FUNNY!"

He may have predicted I was going to hit him. He may even been ready for it. Yet he wasn't prepared for the brunt force not being a hit...but a charge. I end up taking him for a short ride into a tree, the bang catches him off guard and the shock has him release me. This momentary freedom is enough to get some space and I use it to run. Of course, he's not pleased by this and gives chase.

"*digital distortion* GET BACK HERE, YOU BITCH!"

Seems the robot loses his shit when upset. Good to know. Perhaps I can use that.

"Don't blow a gasket, ghost-bot. Aren't you used to this by now?"

"*digital distortion* I WILL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!"

"You'd have to catch me first."

Granted, a clever guy like him probably knows these woods better than anyone and his costume is well suited to hiding in the darkness. Yet he does have a flaw. He's metal. Heavy heavy metal. While still of decent speed, he can't help his body mass and that is the key. Flesh be nimble, flesh be quick, flesh will adapt, flesh will strengthen, and flesh can overcome. All it takes is some careful maneuvering and just the right time to act. After all, he may have been watching me yet he doesn't know how I do things when pushed. He doesn't know what kind of beast I am!

"*digital distortion* DON'T THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE ME!"

The faint glint of a blade gets in my sight. From the right.

A slash comes down.

But it missed. Just barely though. I mistook his reach range and nearly took the blade of his tactical knife to the shoulder.

"*digital distortion* HOLD STILL, YOU WRETCH! YOU SHOULD FEEL HONORED TO FEEL MY KNIFE SLIDING THROUGH YOUR RIBCAGE!"

Now. Now's the time.

"Sorry. But the only taste of steel I desire is not that weapon!"

I lunge, but it's a false one. The shock is to take him by surprise and gauge his reaction time. But I should've attacked. I shouldn't test things and aim for max damage. Because that's what he does. He's fast. Too fast. His free hand grabs a fistful of my hair and uses it as the tether to swing me into tree after tree.

"*digital distortion* ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?! THEN I'LL GRANT YOUR WISH AND BEAT YOU INTO COMPLIANCE!"

He doesn't joke about it either. The knife is put aside for now in favor of swinging me around and bashing me around the environment. Ground, rocks, bushes, trees. Nothing is off-limits to pummel my body into. In no time I'm coughing blood. The bright shimmering crimson is enough to get his attention. It shows his victory. Such a show calms him, reverting him to his relative ease as he holds my still form.

"*sigh* Oh dear...Look at you, darling. This is on you. All I wanted was to show you off. But no...You just had to be difficult."

I don't recall giving willing consent to any of this, so...fuck you.

"I suppose what's done is done. But I can't show up with you looking like this. Just...Hold still a sec."

The cold feel of his thumb smear blood from my face.

"Huh?"

His confusing musing tone has me look meekly up at him.

"Hmmm...Shame. I guess there's a time limit for that."

The only thing his words make me think of is my Anomaly State. So I move my hand enough to see it. Sure enough, I don't see the claws that were there moments before.

[Just as there are ways to trigger this False Killer state, there are ways to prevent and reverse you back to normal. Killers can also use pain to revert you to normal, with enough damage from clashing with a real Killer you will be back to being just another piece of meat waiting to be hooked.]

So he must have hurt me so bad that it reverted me to normal. Good. I'll let him believe there's a time limit. Jerk ain't getting any info out of me. Though I'll be real, I'm not gonna hold out very well if torture is used.

"Oh well. Human you will just have to do."

He tosses me up over his shoulder and resumes the action of taking me somewhere. For what? Fuck if I know.

"You're not going to stab me, are you?"

"*cough* Shouldn't I ask you that?"

"Just checking, darling. All's fun and game till someone gabs s shape object in your back."

"*cough* You are by far...the most confusing individual I have ever met."

"Do try not to talk. You're getting blood all over me."

Whatever. It's your fault I'm spitting blood. My annoyed monologue aside, I decided to just enjoy the ride. I ache too much to try wiggling free and even if I did I wouldn't get very far in this current state. Maybe a small nap would be nice. What's the worst that could happen? He kills me? Good. Then I'll pop my ass back at camp since I'm not all monster any longer. Just a short nap. Just for a...little...while.

...

[What do you think you are doing, Mettaton?]

This voice has Ghost Face pause.

"Oh...um...Nothing?"

[Do not lie. The Entity does not take lies well.]

"M-Master, I assure you, I have no ill intent here."

[Oh? Do tell then.]

"This human can become one of us, right? I figure...Perhaps we can, I don't know, make her more okay with becoming a killer."

[Hmmm...This one is rather reluctant to embrace her gifts.]

"Then am I allowed to continue?"

[Very well. Just do not be foolish. Your pride will blind you if you let your ego get the better of you.]

That made him flinch. It knew? Of course, it knew. The Entity is literally everywhere! It's always listening and watching. Best not fuck this up.

"Yes. Of course, Master."

Great. Now he had to be careful. The Entity didn't care about what the monsters did outside of trials so long as they didn't affect things leading up to trials. If they wanted to mess with the humans, it was okay. Often encouraged. Though this was a bit of hard one to gauge. It's a human but also a monster. If handled wrong, she could tell the other humans things that would give them a massive advantage in terms of strategy. And such a thing would be bad. Very bad indeed. So his plan to present the odd human as a "See? I deserve this more than Legion!" ploy will have to be reworked into a more "Hey guys, we need to make her like us more than them." type deal. Yet based on what he's seen and heard, that most likely won't be as hard of a thing to do than the other might think.

With this in mind, he continues onward. A location set in his thoughts, the forest around him giving way to emptiness and fog. Such a sight is normal for killers to see when traversing the realms. But he found it a little odd she did not react to this. A slight shimmying had him picking up on the sound of her shallow breathes. She nodded off. Rather a nice spot of luck. Less hassle while traveling. But perhaps he was a bit too rough in his anger. Oh well. No point crying over some possible internal hemorrhaging. The fog begins to thicken and wooden shack faintly hides within. This shack both exists in every realm and doesn't at the same time. But in this spot, in particular, was its own space. A place where the monsters would gather for meetings and other stuff. The only differences this shack had from the others was the lack of chests and the addition of bone piles used to practice hexes.

Entering the shack, he easily could tell it was empty. Not a sound could be heard before or after he descended the stairs to the basement. It would be a few more trials till their next meeting and she wasn't going back in one either, as no human was ever selected more than once a "day" to allow their soul to recover. Still, he had no clue if it was his time to kill and the risk of her being found in the open by one of the others would be too annoying to deal with. Thankfully, the lockers were the perfect place to stash a body. Though to be safe, he jams a bone in the handles to keep her from opening it and running away.

"There. Sleep tight, darling."

(SOME TIME LATER)

Muffled murmuring tempts my mushy brain to wake from soft slumber. Such sounds, most likely from others around the fire after I died. Fuck'em. I'm too tired.

*CLANG-CLANG*

My eyes shoot open. That wasn't a sound made at camp. In fact, I can see I'm in a container of sorts. Fuck! I need to heal! I start the process of healing with Self-Care. Damn it! Why is it so slow?!

lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...lub-dub...

I can't tell if that's just the Terror Radius going off like crazy or the pounding of my own heart about to explode in panic.

*CLANK*

I'm only healed enough to be maybe 30%, thanks the power of sleep, but that's not enough to get me to be fully healed.

"Rise and shine, darling. You've slept long enough."

The doors are flung open and Ghost Face snatches me by the hair as I try to scamper past. A rather harsh tug upwards has me roaring and snarling at the robo-fucker. Yet my flailing stops when the force of multiple auras comes down on my soul and I shiver at the many sets of eyes now on me.

"See? I wasn't lying. Our new member is right here."

They...They're here...All of them...All of them are here...All 16 monsters...I...I have no words.

"Say hello, darling. You don't want to be rude."

"what the fuck, shit-face?!"

Legion pushes his way through and part of me almost feels relieved to see him.

"i told you she's my plaything."

There goes that feeling and in record time.

"look what you did. she's all banged up and bloody. this is why you don't mess with other people's property."

...Excuse me?

"She's not yours, squirt. You haven't completed the Trials of Obsession. So till you do, darling here is fair game."

I want to punch them both even if the result is brutal stabbings. Wait...What are the Trials of Obsession?

"Both of you cease your foolishness."

Wraith steps up and slaps Ghost Face's hand, making him let me go.

"The lamb is one of us. Show her the same as we give each other."

They look at each other and then me.

"sounds fair."

Legion punches my shoulder and I hiss at him.

"welcome to the club, meat."

"Funny. I didn't think there was a way for you to beat meat."

There's this weird silence, mostly because I feel dumb for making a random masturbation pun in a room full of killers, and the looks aimed at me don't help. But then he snickers.

"heheh...fucking hell, meat...that was almost good enough not to be pissed off at you for...almost."

I shrug.

"Fair enough."

A low disappointed groan gets attention.

"IS THIS THE STANDARDS OF THE ENTITY NOW? PATHETIC."

Huh...Another skeleton? Neat. Wraith pulls me aside.

"Lamb, this is your superior. Trapper. Show him respect."

Aka...Mr. Grumpy Bones. This guy is tall. Wearing nothing more than dark red work boots, dark black with red trim overalls, and a twisted soulless scared mask that barely hides the glow of his red eyes. Hooks and metal shrapnel stab at his bare-bones. A thick brutal cleaver is held in his right hand while bear traps hang from his waist. No wonder he's agitated. That shit has to hurt. I bow my head.

"My apologies, Sir."

This calms him a bit. Though not much.

"*SCOFF* AT LEAST IT HAS MANNERS."

"It does help that the darling actually responds to us. Those other sacks of meat just ignore anything we say."

"Yeah, about that...I don't think they understand what any of you are saying. Like, at all."

I just had to chime in.

"Really?"

"They told me you guys couldn't talk and they had no clue what I was saying when I was a killer. So...I guess there's a language barrier of sorts."

"Huh...Explains a lot. Seems we have a new advantage! The meat thinks we're mindless beasts."

Well...Fuck. I messed that up.

"Maybe this faker is worth more than first thought."

This voice comes from an unamused, what looks like, a fish woman wearing a rabbit mask. The fuck? Her whole everything is confusing my brain. A thick torn sarafan that's black on the top while dull blue on the bottom, customized with pillaged soldier utility belts, dark pants, and she's barefoot. On top of that her skin is dark blue scales, odd fins stand out where her ears would be, the bottom of the mask doesn't cover her lower jaw so you can see a few scars, her long bright red hair is made dull with a black veil, one eye is blacked out while the other shimmers with gold, her teeth are like a shark's, her hands and feet are webbed. Her weapons? Small throwing hatches tucked on her waist and a traditional ax with a large heavy head. She is basically what you'd get if the creature from the black lagoon banged a lumberjack. She is the Huntress.

"So what? The bitch is still meat. I'm not going to see her as anything else."

So speaks up a rather odd sight. A ghost, kind of small but not really, wearing an old brown fedora and red with dull green strips sweater. I'd saw this fella wasn't all that spooky if he didn't have that bladed glove on his right hand or the strange way his ectoplasm causes his appearance to be mottled or the eerie death stare given by his cold dull eyes. This is Nightmare. And he is as messed up as his name.

"hAG like. Look yums."

As said, this is the Hag. A wild-looking thing she is. Their body is emaciated, dried skin deformed by insatiable hunger and lightly hinted with faint dirty white fuzz. She kind of looks like a dog mixed with a cat in some ways. The body is clearly dog but the face is a cat, yet has both pointy cat and flop dog ears. Her front paws are armed with fingers made into solid claws, perfect for rendering flesh. Her grey hair resembles a feathery mane and has a wreath of thorns worked into it. All that's left is the sky blue and yellow striped tunic that has seen much better days. She is simple. But oftentimes the deadliest things are.

"Bet that one there would make some mighty fine pudding."

Not sure I understand what Hillbilly means by that. But judging by some of their faces, eating humans isn't that big of a stretch. Hillbilly is a sad-looking thing. Less scary and more like concerned for its health. This light blue-furred rabbit-like monster has a red nose and a tuft of fur sprouting from the top of his head. He wears a dull dirty torn yellow short-sleeved shirt with a single vertical red stripe in the middle covers their twisted crooked skin, and dull red torn disheveled jeans. Almost looks like the rags of the unwanted farmhand. A brutal cattle hammer in one hand deals a sharp blow to the skull as the most effective manner of slaughter and in the other a hulking and motorized chainsaw of terrifying strength. Grinds through flesh, bone, and soul.

"Mmmm...Pudding."

This hulking brute is the Cannibal. The name says it all. An orange cat-like monster wearing a terrifying mask of dried human skin, with what looks like an M or something close to one etched on the forehead, stretched and stitched together. Tall with a bit of a gut who wears filthy pinkish-peach colored workman's clothes, a yellow bloodstained butcher's apron covers a dress shirt and dark slacks. He also has this dress tie that seems out of place yet nice and a strange charm bracelet on his left wrist. His weapons are similar to Hillbilly, a classic sledgehammer and aggressive looking chainsaw.

"*hack* If anything...She'll make for good practice. *cough*"

Now this one...This one disturbs me. The Clown. I hate clowns. And this guy is the sickest looking joke of them all. A bloated pig of a man, except he's no pig, this man is definitely some kind of goat. Tall with broad shoulders, a bulky body, a golden blond mane/beard, two large floppy ears, and two large curved horns. Eyes like coal with a small blue sheen. Face painted in a miserable smile. Wearing the attire of a much smaller ringmaster. Classic tailcoat with button-up shirt pushed far beyond its stretching point. Dirty purple with gold accents, large bow, buttons, a trick golden flower of some kind on the lapel, and suspenders with a comically big key ring holding severed human fingers. An oversize butterfly knife shaped like a bird's feather in one hand and bottle of brew in the other. I don't like this one. He scares me.

"❄☟☜☼☜ 🕈✋☹☹ 👌☜ ☠⚐ 🕯🏱☼✌👍❄✋👍☜🕯 ⚐☠ ❄☟☜ ☟🕆💣✌☠ ❄✋☹☹ ✌☞❄☜☼ ✋ ☟✌✞☜ 🏱☜☼💧⚐☠✌☹☹✡ ☼✌☠ ✌ ❄☟☼⚐🕆☝☟ ☜✠✌💣✋☠✌❄✋⚐☠📬 ✋ 🕈✋☹☹ 🕆☠👎☜☼💧❄✌☠👎 🕈☟✌❄ 💣✌😐☜💧 ❄☟✋💧 ⚐☠☜ ❄✋👍😐📬" (THERE WILL BE NO 'PRACTICE' ON THE HUMAN TILL AFTER I HAVE PERSONALLY RAN A THROUGH EXAMINATION. I WILL UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES THIS ONE TICK.)

I suspect this one to be the brains of the group. The Doctor. Yet another skeleton but not quite. The bones that I can see appear to be more fused, solid even and melded with wiring in a super painful way. His face is the most excruciating. The straps, hooks, wires, and electrodes being used to contort his skull to the point there's some fracturing of the bone. Donned in a sleeveless doctor's coat that has seen better days and normal dress-wear underneath. The implement of punishment in his hand is one I fail to comprehend. It's like a metal stick but the tip is pointed like a stake and the midsection is spiked while crackling with electrical power. Yeah...Me no like that either.

"Allow m-m-me to assist you, Doctor. If t-t-that's alright?"

The lady with the stutter is known as the Pig, though that seems to stem from her mask and not the kind of monster she is. The visible skin looks to be yellow and scaly, possibly reptilian? A rotting pig's head with runlets of blood trickling from its eye holes and nostrils, topped with long black messy hair though yellow spikes seem to poke through it. Her posture is somewhat hunched over. The attire is that a long, maybe white at some point but now red, bloody coat and dark pants. A razor-sharp blade, attached to a mechanical contraption on her right wrist can be concealed or extended at will. And under the coat, are tucked away death helmets known as Reverse Bear Traps what when used will pry the victim's jaw apart.

"Yeah. Let's CUT her APART! Bit by BIT!"

Spirit seems to be more unstable than most. She appears to be some sort of cat but her grey flesh doesn't look real, like plastic or some other synthetic material, as if she were a doll possessed. Her pink hair is wild and windswept, dancing in the dark. She lacks much in the form of noticeable lady bits which is good since shredded bloody pink bandages are all that's covering her chest and lower half. Her body is a mess. Cuts large and small, gashes, limbs completely severed, all sprinkled with shards of glass forced in places as if trying to escape. Large golden jingle bells dangle under each fluffy ear. Her milky eyes hold a small hint of emerald color. She is a sad sight to look at but not one without danger. The tip of a single-edged straight katana protrudes from the base of her right hand, in a swift motion, heads would roll from an unseen blow.

"Sacrifice! The Entity demands sacrifices! This dearie will appease the hunger!"

Well someone looks like they came from a time of blind god worship that didn't go so well. Meet the Plague, a spider monster with periwinkle or lavender skin that is being degraded by disease, five eyes, six arms, and two legs. A sacred crown worn to hide the affliction that slowly took this possibly ordained priestess, twin pigtails stick out the back along with the flow of her black locks. Imperial red and ruby robes woven from the finest silks, probably crafted for her to display her status. Golden chains, necklaces, and even sharp claw fingermail adorn her in accents. Her weapon is one unseen before and yet fitting of her look. A profane censer, an ancient-looking incense burner held aloft by a long heavy chain exudes the sweetest fragrances to mask the decay around her.

So many faces. So many means of death. Yet...One is missing Where is the one known as...?

".........."

A faint whisper pulls my attention before being actually pulled by an overly strong hand and I wince at the knowing bruise forming in such a grip on my upper arm. This has eyes pulled to watch as one of the Entity's most relentless monsters interact with me, the odd human. This is the Shape, a fire monster. An expressionless white latex Halloween mask covers his head but the hair has burned away to be topped by his orange flames. Everyday dark navy almost black workman overalls contain a living furnace of hell's own fire. An oversized kitchen knife with devastatingly sharp edges is all that is needed to end a life. His eyes. He has the blackest eyes. The devil's eyes. And the inferno shines within them. Yet...Why don't I feel in danger?

"Um...Hello."

He tilts his head.

"Would you kindly let go of my arm? Please? It hurts."

There's this silence and damn if it's awkward. But slowly, that bone-shattering hold loosens and I'm allowed to lightly cover the area. It's so weird. This feeling on my skin.

"So warm..."

Absentminded thought is absentminded.

"Thank you."

He merely stares down at me. Such a tall guy. Hell, everyone is bigger than me except Hag, Pig, Nurse, and Legion. The hand that once did warm proceeds to pat my head and I feel dumb enough to giggle.

"awww...how cute."

Legion mocks me but I choose to ignore him and pay attention to Shape.

"Sound's like someone's jealous."

Ghost Face teases.

"what?"

"With no effort at all, he already holds more favor than you and you saw her first."

Legion sneers and Ghost Face piles on.

"I suppose nothing you did was all that grand if something as simple as a head pat holds more weight."

"*snarls* fuck you."

"Oooh. I'm shaking. Such biting words."

"i'll show you biting!"

Legion storms over as Shape continues test touch me curiously, like what one does at a petting zoo, and the sudden movement of Legion has me unconsciously move closer to the man of flame. He suddenly slams me on a wall, his arm braced against my throat while his free hand grabs my face.

"who do you think you are?"

"*grunt* The hell is your problem?"

I should probably put up a struggle. But I'm in no mood. Besides, he's not even pressing as hard as he could. So I don't try to push him back.

"don't forget your place here, meat. and don't forget who you belong to."

I shake his hand off in annoyance.

"Dude, I'm gonna be real with you. I am in no position to piss anyone in this room off. That said, I am in no mood to deal with this kind of crap. So take this power play you're doing and shove up."

His sockets widen.

"What's wrong, Legion? Can't control a human?"

Huntress remarks.

"And to think he wants to claim obsession rights. What a joke."

Nurse cuts deep with that one. Legion gets more annoyed.

"if you think you'll get away with embarrassing me, you're wrong."

"Hey, man, we were cool till you did this. You're the guy doing dumb shit because of peer pressure."

The snickers and whispers in the background aren't helping him. It becomes too much.

"*sharp roar*"

I didn't feel the initial strike. I most likely wouldn't have known till feeling something else entirely. But then there's a twist in my side that brings more pain than can be ignored. Now I'm clawing at his arm for release.

"*growl* this is what you get. this is what you get for thinking you're...!"

"That's enough. Your point has been made."

Wraith and Shape each put a hand on Legion's shoulders.

"......"

"i am calm! she..."

"Did nothing and you know that."

"............"

Legion's eyes shift to look at the floor as if he's been scolded into realization.

"......."

"i'm not going to apologize."

"You don't have to."

A slow tug is made and his blade is removed, making me gasp louder than intended. Though instead of backing off, he leans in to my side and whispers.

"never forget who you belong to. who's name was craved on your chest. remember that. you are mine."

Feeling my limits being pressed after everything this questionable day has done, I'm not about to just take this. The second he gives me any slack, I grab his hoodie and get in his face, but keep my voice low.

"I know."

There's a slight growl to my words but it's not from any hostility. It's from pain and the struggle to keep standing when I should be on the ground. My words rattle him, making him shove me and in my current state I give in to my bodies will to fall. Just peachy. Stuck in an enclosed space with a ton of monsters and I'm in the dying state. Easy picking for any of them.

"💧☟☜ ☼☜💧✋💧❄☜👎 ❄☟☜ 👎✡✋☠☝ 💧❄✌❄☜📬 ☞✌💧👍✋☠✌❄✋☠☝📬" (SHE RESISTED THE DYING STATE. FASCINATING.)

"The lamb is...quirky."

"*grumble* This lamb is bleeding out. Not deaf."

My annoyance is noted but ignored. Shape scoops me up onto his shoulder. Oddly, even though my wound is still open, bleeding stops when picked up by a monster. It's a momentary fix to not dying.

"*strained* Thanks, big guy."

A slight nod was the reply. At least so far, one of them I'd consider possibly decent outside of trial.

"SO..."

Trapper's voice chimes in.

"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH IT?"

Wow. Really dude? Am I so beneath you that you don't see me as a person? Whatever. He does make a good point. What are they going to do? Other than killing me.

"✌💧 💣☜☠❄✋⚐☠☜👎 👌☜☞⚐☼☜📪 ✋ 🕈⚐🕆☹👎 ☹✋😐☜ ❄⚐ 💧❄🕆👎✡ ☟☜☼ 🕈☟✋☹☜ ❄☟☜ ⚐🏱🏱⚐☼❄🕆☠✋❄✡ ✋💧 ☝✋✞☜☠📬" (AS MENTIONED BEFORE, I WOULD LIKE TO STUDY HER WHILE THE OPPORTUNITY IS GIVEN.)

I take it I'm just being ignored as a living being as they contemplate among themselves on what to do with me. Oh well...Might as well try something crazy. I tap Shape and he looks at me. I say not a word. Merely motion to the stairs. I don't expect much. But I hope for some pity. He just stares at me and that unnerving stare has me shiver even when surrounded by his heat. Yet slowly he starts to make his way to leave. Sadly, this movement doesn't go unseen.

"hey, buddy, it's not nice to take what doesn't belong to you."

Oh my god, give me a fucking break! Shape looks at Legion, the others, then me, and then back to Legion.

".........."

"yeah, sure, whatever. just hand her over."

Wait what? Shape starts to hand me over to Legion and I hear internal glass shattering from my broken hope of escape.

"*strained* No...No, no, no, no, no! I thought we were cool, big guy! I thought we were cool!"

"don't whine. it won't make things better."

Now in Legion's grasp, I officially give up.

"*strained* Just...make it quick. Whatever it is."

"geez. killjoy much?"

I see a small opportunity and my brain says to take it before going completely dead.

"*strained* Kill Joy? I don't even know her."

It's a terrible joke. The kind that makes even people on laughing gas cringe. Yet...I feel him chuckle. He doesn't make the sound but his shoulders rock with mirth.

"☹☜☝✋⚐☠📬 👌☼✋☠☝ 💣☜ ❄☟☜ ☟🕆💣✌☠📬" (LEGION. BRING ME THE HUMAN.)

I sigh and shut my eyes. I don't want to see anything more than what I have to of this crap.

"yeah...no."

Say what now?

"☠⚐✍" (NO?)

"you heard me, doc."

"✡⚐🕆 ✋☠💧⚐☹☜☠❄ ☹✋❄❄☹☜ 💧☟✋❄📬 ✡⚐🕆 🕈✋☹☹ ⚐👌☜✡ ✡⚐🕆☼ 👌☜❄❄☜☼✏" (YOU INSOLENT LITTLE SHIT. YOU WILL OBEY YOUR BETTER!)

I open my eyes in time to see Legion flipping Doctor off.

"i think i've made myself clear. she's mine. if you want to do anything with her, you have to find her in the trials or...beg me for permission."

The rational part of me knows he's just asserting himself with this move. But the dumb hopeful part of me is thinking maybe this will be okay. A sudden jerk and he's sprinting up the stairs. This skeleton continues to amaze me. There's a commotion from the others, the few that bother to attempt chasing Legion, though once he boosts it becomes painfully clear that they're not going to keep up and stop. It's also clear that we're not anywhere anymore. My only guess is this is the space of the fog, the place between the realms the Entity made.

"*strained* I think you lost them."

He faintly looks over his empty shoulder yet keeps his fast pace.

"even if it seems that way, don't believe it. some of them..."

"*strained* Can teleport, become invisible, and hide their terror radius? Yeah, I know."

"heh...one minute you know nothing and the next you do. what changed?"

"*strained* The Entity mind raped me."

"...okay..."

Probably not the best choice of words on my end.

"*strained* Where are we going?"

He doesn't answer.

"*strained* Dude, give me a break. I've been stabbed multiple times, chased, beaten, abducted, and killed all in what feels like hours. The least you can do is tell me where you're going."

Again, he says nothing.

"*strained scoff* Typical. You don't see me. Just something to use. Damn it...Why do I always think the best of others when time and time again I'm proven wrong? You're no different than everyone else."

This has him skid to a dead stop.

"what did you say?"

Why do I suddenly feel like I'm gonna regret life even more? He tosses me off his shoulder and now I know I fucked up.

"i am nothing like them!"

He kicks me hard in the gut. My wound pours out more in response. I won't last long at this rate.

"*strained coughs* Ow...*sputter* real mature..."

"shut up!"

He proceeds to stomp his heel into my back repeatedly.

"you don't know a damn thing about me! don't fucking think for a second that you're better! you're no different than any other shitty human! you're not special! nobody cares about you! do you hear me?! nobody!"

It's getting so cold. The puddle forming around my body is outrageous. But karma is funny in a douchy way. He slips in the puddle while adjusting his stance and falls flat on his back...however...this makes his non-stomping foot kicks me point-blank in the face. Lights out instantaneously.

...

{bones? are you okay?}

{dumbass. the fuck were ya thinking?}

{i thought we were to keep her away from the others so we could inform her of the trial rights. not kill her. though great use of technique on brutality.}

Bones shakes his head. A fog clouded his judgment. Looking to the bloody body on the ground, he is fairly sure she's dead and the size of the puddle around her only makes it seem like he's right. Yet...she's still there and not fading into the darkness. Either she's resisting or there's still some time before she completely bleeds out. Going with the latter, he collects the girl and just barely feels the shallow breaths leaving her.

"*sigh* fuck my life."

{what happened?}

{he fucking snapped, genius. the fuck do ya think happened?}

He ignores the question to continue walking.

"boo."

{y-yes?}

"when we get back to base, i want you to take control and deal with the human when she wakes up."

{what?!}

{m-me? why me?}

{yeah, why ya putting the baby in charge for this?}

"simple. he won't do something stupid."

{like you did?}

"fuck you. chops, you'd do worse than me and you know it."

{meh.}

"and dead-eye...well...you'd kill her if the mood hit."

{you are not wrong.}

"it's settled. boo, you chat her up and get her on our side. it'll make getting those dumb rights easy."

{okay, bones. but, uh, are you sure you can't do it? she's never met me. what if she freaks out?}

{oh my god! grow a spine, you fucking pussy!}

{he has a point. you can not show uncertainty to humans. they will use it against you and we can never lose the fear we hold over them.}

{plus, scaring those bitches is fun as hell.}

{that too.}

That earns a snicker from the leader.

"just be yourself, boo. besides...i get the feeling her waking up to see me won't end well."

{yeah. ya fucked up.}

{big time.}

"alright, i get it! i don't need heckling from you dorks."

{dorks? us?}

{we aren't the moron that's stabbing our meal ticket to getting respect to death like a dumb fuck.}

"that! that shit right there is why you assholes don't get the body more often."

{if that's the case, why don't i get the body more?}

"shut up, boo!"

{o-okay.}

"and there's your answer."

{oh...ah man.}

Bones shakes his head. The fog slowly giving way to snow. Mount Ormond Resort begins to come into view as Bones starts to change. The color of his clothing altering to lighter blue hues, the binds of tape melting away, and a bow made with a long scarf tied around the waist looks like a target on his back. It's time for a new take on things. Perhaps Boo can salvage the plan. Here's hoping the human will take to him better than Bones.

[phroyd]

AUSTIN, Tex. — For much of the last three months, the most popular Joseph R. Biden Jr. website has been a slick little piece of disinformation that is designed to look like the former vice president’s official campaign page, yet is most definitely not pro-Biden.

From top to bottom, the website, JoeBiden.info, breezily mocks the candidate in terms that would warm the heart of any Bernie Sanders supporter: There are GIFs of Mr. Biden touching women and girls, and blurbs about his less-than-liberal policy positions, including his opposition to court-ordered busing in the 1970s and his support for the Iraq war. Pull quotes highlight some of his more famous verbal gaffes, like his description of his future boss, Barack Obama, as “articulate and bright and clean.” The introductory text declares, “Uncle Joe is back and ready to take a hands-on approach to America’s problems!”

All the site says about its creator is buried in the fine print at the bottom of the page. The site, it says, is a political parody built and paid for “BY AN American citizen FOR American citizens,” and not the work of any campaign or political action committee.

There is indeed an American behind the website — that much is unambiguously true. But he is very much a political player, and a Republican one at that. His name is Patrick Mauldin, and he makes videos and other digital content for President Trump’s re-election campaign. Together with his brother Ryan, Mr. Mauldin also runs Vici Media Group, a Republican political consulting firm in Austin whose website opens with the line “We Kick” followed by the image of a donkey — the Democratic Party symbol often known by another, three-letter, name.

The Biden website was intended to help Democrats “face facts,” Mr. Mauldin said in an interview. He kept his name off it because “people tend to dismiss things that they don’t like, especially if it comes from the opposite side,” he said.

Yet in anonymously trying to exploit the fissures within the Democratic ranks — fissures that ran through this past week’s debates — Mr. Mauldin’s website hews far closer to the disinformation spread by Russian trolls in 2016 than typical political messaging. With nothing to indicate its creator’s motives or employer, the website offers a preview of what election experts and national security officials say Americans can expect to be bombarded with for the next year and a half: anonymous and hard-to-trace digital messaging spread by sophisticated political operatives whose aim is to sow discord through deceit. Trolling, that is, as a political strategy.

Mr. Mauldin, who has not been previously identified as the creator of the website, said he had built and paid for it on his own, and not for the Trump campaign. But the campaign knows about the websites, raising the prospect that the president’s re-election effort condoned what is, in essence, a disinformation operation run by one of its own.

Tim Murtaugh, the Trump campaign’s communications director, did not directly address that issue, though he said it was “great that talented supporters of President Trump use their time to help his re-election.”

“We appreciate their efforts in their own time with parodies like this that help the cause,” he added.

Inside the campaign, Mr. Mauldin, 30, is seen as a rising star, prized for his mischievous sense of humor and digital know-how, according to two people familiar with the operation. He also appears to be very much on point in his choice of targets: Mr. Biden is the Democrat polling strongest against Mr. Trump and has been repeatedly singled out on Twitter by the president.

Mr. Biden’s campaign knew about the fake website for months, but had not been aware of who was behind it, said T.J. Ducklo, a campaign spokesman. “Imagine our surprise that a site full of obvious disinformation,” he said, “is the handiwork of an operative tied to the Trump campaign.”

Mr. Ducklo sought to place the website firmly in the context of Mr. Trump’s own social media habits — such as tweeting doctored videos — and what he said was the president’s lack of interest in measures to ensure the integrity of American elections.

In addition to Mr. Biden, Mr. Mauldin has anonymously set up faux campaign websites for at least three other Democratic front-runners. “Millionaire Bernie” seeks to tar Mr. Sanders as a greedy socialist; “Elizabeth Warren for Chief” mocks her claim of Native American ancestry; and “Kamala Harris for Arresting the People” highlights her work as a prosecutor who, the site says, “put parents in jail for children skipping school — and laughed about it.”

None, though, has proved as successful as the Biden website. Mr. Mauldin boasted in the interview that he had fooled people into thinking his Biden website was the real campaign page. Some offered to donate money, he said, and others wanted to volunteer.

Mr. Mauldin insisted there was nothing duplicitous about it. “I don’t make any claims on the site to lean one way or the other,” he said, adding, “Facts are not partisan.”

It is buyer beware, and not just for unwitting Democrats. In 2017, a group of Democrats took a page out of the Russian playbook and posed as conservatives to try to divide Republicans in Alabama’s special Senate election, a race narrowly won by a Democrat. And as the 2020 campaign gets underway, election experts say they see signs that Americans from both sides of the political divide are getting ready to do the same. National security officials are also warning that Russia will again try to disrupt the election by spreading disinformation.

Meddling by foreigners is illegal. But trolling or disinformation spread by American citizens is protected by the First Amendment, and if Mr. Mauldin’s work is any guide, Americans may well do a far better job deceiving one another than any Russian troll could hope for.

A Viral Hit

Unlike much of the Russian disinformation, which often has been crude and off-key — remember the Facebook ad promoting Mr. Sanders as a gay-rights superhero? — the faux Biden site has been a viral hit. Mr. Mauldin even started selling mock Biden 2020 T-shirts through the website to capitalize on its success.

From mid-March, when Mr. Mauldin first began promoting the website on Reddit, through the end of May, it had more than 390,000 unique visitors, according to data compiled by SimilarWeb, a firm that analyzes web traffic. Mr. Biden’s official campaign website had about 310,000.

Of the people who found the websites through search engines, 83 percent landed on Mr. Mauldin’s page, according to SimilarWeb. None of it was paid traffic.

The website’s success was not accidental. Mr. Mauldin put it up well before Mr. Biden’s official website and aggressively pushed it out on Reddit, getting clicks and links and exposure. It had a big boost in May when a handful of media outlets — The Daily Callerand CNET, among others — wrote stories about the fake page beating Mr. Biden’s and linked to it. Links from established media websites are weighted heavily by search engines. The New York Times is not linking to Mr. Mauldin’s websites to avoid further boosting them in search rankings.

The Trump consultant, Patrick Mauldin, has built websites featuring a number of candidates, including Senator Elizabeth Warren.Credit

In recent weeks, as search companies became aware that Mr. Mauldin’s website was fake, it has fallen below the real Biden page. But it remains among the top results, and it already appears to have fooled people.

“I know a lot of Biden supporters were furious when they saw that website,” said David Goldstein, the chief executive of Tovo Labs, a Democratic digital consulting firm in New York. “They suspected other Dem candidates were behind it.”

Then there were the less politically astute. In late April, Mr. Mauldin anonymously took to Reddit to boast that people were confusing his website for the real one. He posted in r/The_Donald, a popular spot for right-wing trolls to trade tips and show off, using the handle NPC_12345.

“How many Democrats can we red pill with my fake Joe Biden site?” Mr. Mauldin wrote in one post.

Another post included messages from duped Democrats. One person wanted Mr. Biden to speak at her son’s school. Another suggested the former vice president look to an old soul group, the Fifth Dimension, for his campaign song.

There were even messages asking Mr. Biden not to criticize other Democrats, Mr. Mauldin said in the interview. “They want it to be all ‘Kumbaya’ with the Democrats.”

He was not having it. “It’s important for everyone to realize aspects of their own side or candidate that maybe they don’t know about or don’t want to look at,” he said.

By “their own side,” Mr. Mauldin meant Democrats. He is not trolling any Republicans.

Trolling, Strategically

For decades, conventional wisdom in politics held that trying to undermine your opponent’s base would only motivate that group to vote against you. But in 2016, Russian disinformation and the Trump team’s own targeting of disenchanted Democrats led many campaign veterans on the left and the right to conclude that sowing dissent inside an opponent’s ranks could work. It worked especially well if the criticism appeared to come from their own side.

Mr. Mauldin posted on Reddit about his fake websites, helping to drive traffic to them.Credit

With websites like the faux Biden page, “essentially you’re trying to sow chaos and you’re trying to basically do voter suppression,” said Mr. Goldstein, the Democratic consultant.

“You want their supporters to get sad, to get angry, to get turned off from their chosen candidate,” he continued. “The way voters tend to work: They don’t turn off from a candidate and pick up someone else; they turn off from a candidate and turn off politics.”

Mr. Goldstein’s firm, Tovo, tried to prove as much during Alabama’s special Senate election in 2017. With targeted ads, Tovo led conservative Republicans to a website featuring articles by conservatives who opposed the far-right candidate, Roy Moore. Moderate Republicans were directed to a site that suggested they write in a different candidate. The effort relied only on genuine content from conservatives, and it was entirely separate from the Democrats who used Facebook to pose as conservatives.

Tovo later published its findings. It claimed to have driven down moderate Republican turnout by 2.5 percent, and conservative Republican turnout by 4.4 percent.

Unlike Tovo, Mr. Mauldin makes no claims of trying to prove any concepts, and he had no intention of outing himself. When approached by The Times, he argued that he should not be identified because he had not sought the spotlight, and because he feared threats and harassment. He preferred “to work behind the scenes,” he wrote in an email.

Mr. Mauldin registered the Biden site privately so that his name and contact details would not appear in any public searches. But The Times was able to confirm Mr. Mauldin’s identity because the Biden page shared the same Google analytics tags with a number of other active and defunct websites, including the ones he has made for the three other Democratic candidates. Some of those sites that shared the Google tags were registered under Mr. Mauldin’s name.

Sipping a Crown Royal and Coke at a bar in downtown Austin, Mr. Mauldin bore little resemblance to the boasting troll he played on Reddit. He is slight, and has boyish features. He wore his shirt neatly tucked into jeans, and paused to consider questions before answering. When he did not want to answer, he quietly said, “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember” — even when asked about things it was hard to imagine he had forgotten, like what he told the Trump campaign about his websites.

Mr. Mauldin works on President’s Trump’s re-election campaign, which kicked off this past month in Orlando, Fla.CreditErin Schaff/The New York Times

Mr. Mauldin grew up in eastern Texas, and described his political views as “closest to libertarian.” He studied marketing at Texas A&M, and taught himself digital design skills, building on a childhood love of drawing.

He and his brother founded Vici after helping a family friend win a state representative race. Their big break came in June 2016, when the Trump campaign’s digital operation, short of manpower and scrambling, hired Vici.

Mr. Mauldin quickly impressed. His specialty was making the kind of viral videos that riffed on pop culture and were relentlessly pumped out on social media by the Trump campaign. One came after Hillary Clinton dropped a reference to the augmented-reality game Pokémon Go into a speech, urging voters to “Pokemon Go to the polls.” Mr. Mauldin responded with a video that featured Mrs. Clinton as a Pokemon creature players had to catch, providing the kind of tit for tat needed to feed a day of news stories.

In a testimonial on Vici’s website, Brad Parscale, Mr. Trump’s 2016 digital director and now his campaign manager, called Mr. Mauldin “an indispensable part of our digital operation” in the president’s first campaign.

People with ties to the re-election campaign, all of whom spoke on the condition of anonymity because of nondisclosure agreements, said that Mr. Mauldin was brought back on retainer for the 2020 race.

Mr. Mauldin would not discuss specifics of his role with the campaign, citing his own nondisclosure agreement. He was only slightly more talkative about his websites.

Pressed on whether he thought they were deceptive, Mr. Mauldin complained that people put too much emphasis on identity “instead of examining the facts themselves.” He brushed off a question about whether GIFs of Mr. Biden touching women, devoid of any context, represented facts.

The point, Mr. Mauldin said, was to help Democrats see their candidates for who they were — warts and all — and not try to pretend that they all agreed and were in lock step on every issue.

As he sees it now, “there’s a party line and you either toe it or you’re a traitor,” he said, adding that this applied to both Democrats and Republicans.

But weren’t his sites encouraging Democrats to look for traitors?

Mr. Mauldin insisted he was only trying to deliver hard truths. “I mean, they could do it themselves,” he said with a laugh. “But they’re not. That’s the problem.”

Correction: June 29, 2019

An earlier version of this article mistakenly included CNBC in a list of outlets that reported on a faux Biden page and linked to it, helping to boost it in search rankings. CNBC reported on the website but did not link to it.

Phroyd

[aftermathdb]

DEATH BATTLE Review: Ghost Rider vs. Lobo

Two badass bikers have one hell of a fight!

Ghost Rider′s Preview.

If one were to take a look at Johnny Blaze, you wouldn’t really expect much out of the son of a famous stuntman who had died in a stunt gone wrong. But, you’d be surprised. Johnny’s new dad, Crash Simpson, got cancer.

So Johnny turned to the one man who could fix the problem: The Devil.

It worked… Until Crash crashed.

From that day forward, Johnny became merged with Zarathos. A being of power that scared Mephisto. And together, they became: Ghost Rider.

Ghost Rider possesses your typical powerset for a bounty hunter for the devil. From your typical Superhuman strength and speed, with a side of insane durability and an extra large healing factor.

And to top it all off, Ghost Rider’s signature weapon of choice is fire. But not just any kind of fire. Hellfire (Insert Hunchback of Notre Dame reference here).

Hellfire burns, but not in the conventional way you might think. Hellfire burns away at the soul, bypassing any defenses that would normally protect against typical burn damage. It’s like Salazzle’s Corrosion ability, only with fire.

But, if you’re going to be on the hunt for bad guys to make them pay for their sins, you’re going to need a toolset to match. From your typical hellish chains to soul manipulaton, Ghost Rider is one hell of a guy to fight…

Real talk: Lowkey disappointed that there weren’t more hell puns like this in the episode proper.

But if there’s anything that Ghost Rider is known for, it would be his Hell Cycle. Which we get a Wiz and Boomstick animation for the explanation.

Moving on, Ghost Rider’s other signature move is his Penance Stare. A Bloodcurdling gaze that burns the victims with the agony of their sins. Every life they’ve ruined, every person they’ve killed, all of it comes hitting you at once. Basically, it’s the “I’m not mad, just disappointed” phrase weaponized to the point that it burns. If you’re a truly sinful being, your soul goes bye bye. It’s like the Dark Hado, only with a less complicated button input.

And since the hosts neglected to mention it here (or even in the list of feats (Though, it is shown)), this stare once brought Galactus to his knees. Here’s the video link.

With all that power, Ghost Rider has taken on some insane opponents.

From the likes of Thor, to World War Hulk, to Doctor Strange, Ghost Rider has taken on a great slew of opponents, both good and bad.

However, Johnny doesn’t exactly have the best relationship with the Ghost Rider.

In fact, Johnny’s relationship with Ghost Rider is similar to Bruce Banner’s relation to the Hulk. Johnny suppresses Ghost Rider’s full potential, and the two often clash.

Also, since I forgot to bring it up earlier, The Penance Stare doesn’t work on the blind, those without a soul, those who draw power from pain, or masochists.

However, plot twist, Zarathos is actually an angel of vengeance, not a demon.

And similar to the Hulk, when Johnny opts to let the reigns loose, Zarathos. becomes so powerful, that he scares Doctor Strange.

For reference to Zarathos’ power, he’s equal to the divorce judge Mephisto, who in turn, once battle Galactus. The fight was so intense, that the entire universe was at risk as a byproduct of the battle.

Zarathos himself can eat souls. As for Johnny himself, the guy is still a mortal man, so he’s vulnerable to any kind of conventionally lethal attack. The Rider himself is vulnerable to holy weaponry, and is killable through it.

And even if he’s not too keen on being the Devil’s bounty hunter, Johnny’s doing alright. He even overthrew Mephisto… Does this mean that Peter and MJ’s divorce is null now?- I’m pretty sure that it’s null on the grounds of it being filed under duress, but still.

However, should you be walking out on your own, hearing a feint sound of a chopper drawing near, and see a glow on the horizon getting closer, you better hope that it’s not you that the Ghost Rider is after.

And you better pray to whatever deity that you believe in for mercy.

Because Ghost Rider won’t be giving it.

Lobo′s Preview.

It’s the 1990s, and the world of comics entered a darker age. After the success of such books like Watchmen and The Dark Knight Returns, comic book companies started to churn out gritty anti-heroes by the dozen.

From the time-traveling mutant Cable, to the darker and grittier Azrael, and Overkill. It was an… interesting time, to say the least. They were certainly cool-looking, but at some point, it just got ridiculous, that the world needed someone to take these guys down a peg.

The world needed a hero- no. A parody.

Enter: Czarnia. A planet that was known to be the most peaceful place in the universe… “Was” being the keyword there. The planet was. ravaged by a biological lifeform that left only one survivor: The guy who killed them all: Lobo.

For the record, Lobo’s name roughly translates to “He who devours your entrails and enjoys it.”

(So, he’s basically the NRA).

Lobo’s birth caused so much destruction, that pretty much everyone around him died out. Hell, some theorists think that the universe made Lobo just to balance out the peacefulness of Czarnia.

Lobo strives to be unique, and what better way to be unique than to be the last of your kind?

Lobo has left destruction in his wake. Which is possibly why he became a bounty hunter, as it’s the only profession that legally lets you kill people… Not that it stops him from killing you illegally as well.

Lobo is so insanely durable, that his healing factor is stupidly powerful. And his strength is off the charts. He’s like the unholy child of Superman and Deadpool. Speaking of which…

Oh, Taka… You never fail to make us laugh.

Anyways, not only can Lobo regenerate from a single drop of blood, he can also basically clone himself from it.

If you haven’t guessed by now, Lobo is stupidly hard to kill. He’s taken on the likes of Superman and other high-level fighters to the point that he’s basically  invulnerable. And if that’s not enough for you, he’s also pretty smart capable enough of doing complex equations to be able to tag the Flash.

Lobo can even deduce the weak points of any opponent he faces.

Of course, you don’t get to be an infamous bounty hunter unless you have the tools for the job.

Lobo’s ride responds to his whistle, can fly fast enough to escape a black hole, comes equipped with numerous machine guns, and has numerous other add-ons to boot.

And he has numerous firearms to deal with anyone who gets in his way. Even better: He’s also a fan of chain weapons.

Lobo also likes to ignore some things too. Like how he can sing “Born To Be Wild” while in the vacuum of space.

If that’s not physics-breaking enough for you, Lobo also once did this:

He pulled down Solaris despite it being physically impossible. Not, physically like his physique is inadequate, more like… It breaks physics. Meybe he and the Flash can bond over that.

For reference, this is how much strength Lobo would be exerting to pull Solaris down, assuming that Solaris has a mass similar to our sun.

Lobo also once crushed an entire city to fit in the palm of his hand. And then he ate it. There’s not a laxative in the world that can make that easy to digest.

And thanks to his rambunctious attitude, and constant heavy metal playing, Lobo has been banned from the afterlife. As in, his soul is not to be collected by death. Once the universe ends, he doesn’t go with it.

Lobo has a bomb that wiped out the dinosaurs, allegedly murdered Santa Claus (Who could bypass Apoklips’ defenses to give Darkseid a lump of coal), and has even walked through literal willpower.

However, despite his many claims, Lobo isn’t perfect. He can still take damage, and while his spirit can fight on without his body, he’s not exactly invincible.

He also has a… fondness for dolphins… Apparently. But, he’s also a man of his word, and will follow things to the spirit too. So, he’s basically the exact opposite of the NRA.

And unlike guys like Doctor Fate, the Green Lanterns, and Darkseid, Lobo isn’t immune to retcons.

This new Lobo is a dark and tortured soul. Literally the thing that the real Lobo was meant to be a parody of.

Thankfully, some of the writers at DC had a sense of irony, and decided to shelve the new Lobo… Literally.

And with all that, Lobo is one fighter that you don’t want to mess with. Because when the Main Man gets a contract…

The Battle Itself.

Zack, Luis, and Jerky are heading this animation. Ghost Rider will be voiced by Steven Kelly and Lobo will be voiced by Jason Marnocha. ), sprite artists, Ride to Hell by Brandon Yates. Audio is led by Chris Kokkinos.

The fight starts off with Lobo collecting a bounty, only for the Spirit of Vengeance to show up and give Lobo what’s coming to him.

Lobo, being Lobo, doesn’t take too kindly to someone telling him what to do, so he just runs over the Hell Cycle to get away.

Ghost Rider, understandably mad as hell, gives chase, and even fries Lobo’s bounty while doing it. So now even the Main Man is mad too.

After a brief battle of chains, Lobo does a Scorpion impression and grabs Ghost Rider to give him one hell of a headbutt.

But Blaze doesn’t take this lying down, so the battle gets forced to a city… Hopefully abandoned.

And now it’s Ghost Rider’s turn to do a Scorpion impression as he uses his hellfire to give Lobo a nasty Burn.

This being Lobo, he powers through it to get to Ghost Rider to eat a building.

This being Ghost Rider, the Spirit of Vengeance bursts out, spilling blood everywhere. But, this is Lobo.

Or rather, Lobos (Note the plural). They dogpile on the burning skull head, forcing Ghost Rider to unleash Zarathos.

Lobo, pretty miffed at the moment, blasts Ghost Rider with a massive gun.

So, with the battlefield fragged, the finishing blow (Yes, this wasn’t the finishing blow) is coming up in 5…

4…

3…

2…

1…

Hot damn…

Verdict + Explanation.

Okay, so… This being Lobo, it was a pretty intense fight. Lobo doesn’t die easily. And Lobo also takes many of the physical advantages, like strength. But Ghost Rider wasn’t a slouch in this area either.

Given the insane durability and amount of pain that each fighter could take and dish out, it was hard to say for sure as to who would win out. But, Lobo doesn’t have any specific weaknesses that are obscure, and he wasn’t equipped to have anything to really kill Ghost Rider.

Now, you might be thinking “Who cares about Holy Weapons when you can crush and eat a whole city?” While that’s a good question, and it’s also a good question to ask if Lobo could just overpower Johnny.

However, Remember: Zarathos = Mephisto, and Mephisto = Galactus. Given that the fight between Mephisto and Galactus put the whole universe at risk, it’s reasonable to say that Zarathos could do the same.

Now, given Lobo’s own speed, he couldn’t really run from the Ghost Rider either. Recall that the Hell Cycle could outrace Mjolnir, and Mjolnir could move over 100 Billion times the speed of light. So, even if Lobo could figure out Ghost Rider’s weaknesses, he can’t exactly get away to find a holy weapon to work with.

Essentially, Lobo could handle the Ghost Rider, but once Zarathos was unleashed, his means of victory started diminishing fast.

But now, for the big elephant in the room: How do you kill a person who’s banned from the afterlife?

Well, this is where you need a lawyer, because there’s a small little loophole that Ghost Rider can exploit:

Lobo’s soul can only not be collected, there’s nothing saying that his soul can just go poof. And Ghost Rider has three ways of just ending Lobo’s soul.

His hellfire bypasses normal defenses, his Penance Stare can deal damage to Lobo since he’s got trillions of dead people on his hands, and Zarathos could just straight-up eat his soul. Lobo has no defenses against attacks that target the soul.

Essentially, Lobo was toast.

The winner is Ghost Rider.

Overall impression.

This fight was cosmic. In essence, it takes some of the most intense fighters and pits them against each other. This fight has a lot of hype behind it, and it’s one

hell

of a fight.

However, the lack of “Hell” puns during Ghost Rider’s rundown is somewhat disappointing. But the fight is awesome. It also helps that the music is intense in the good way that it makes it really feel like a battle straight out of hell.

The fight’s awesome, the explanation makes sense, and the music is a banger.

8.666/10

Next Time…

A friend of mine on Deviantart is doing reviews of these Kaiju Movies and a few Power Rangers episodes too. I’m feeling that this fight might interest him.

Is there a fight that you want me to review? - Send an ask/request, and I’ll look into it!

Do you want to read my fanfic based around DEATH BATTLE itself? click here!

Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you next time for…

Robo-Kaiju Rumble.