#clip of him using the insult is also present

[destinygoldenstar]

I Analyzed The Ninjago Movie Instead Of Sleeping

I have real mixed feelings on this movie. But not for the reasons you might think from a fan of the TV show.

The movie didn’t NEED to be connected to the show. And it clearly wasn’t trying to.

It was meant to be an AU in a way.

(If you look at the behind the scenes one of their original rewrites was a plot of them going back in time to save Lloyd’s dad from becoming the villainous figure he is in the present day.)

So I can forgive the inaccuracy so long as it could stand on its own as a proper story.

It doesn’t do that.

If you DON’T compare it to the show:

You got a movie with SOME good jokes, amazing animation, (SERIOUSLY THIS MOVIE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AND VISUALS ALONE ARE A CHEFS KISS TO ME) but is so strangely paced that it feels like the movie starts at the middle of the story and never shows the beginning, and feels like a completely different movie halfway through, and is also very choppily edited.

(I even double checked a clip of the movie just to prove my point there: When Lloyd uses all his dragon mech weapons on Garmadon, they play the exact same sound effect and explosion, just with different angles, SIX TIMES. FSM WAS THAT EDITOR HUNG OVER WHEN DOING THEIR JOB THAT DAY?! And that’s just one example I’ve got. I think this was the first time EVER when I was in a movie theater and I distinctly remember asking “What is wrong with the editing here? Who thought this was good editing?? Who thought this was appropriate in any way???” So I thank this movie for giving me such a memory and making me value good editing.)

You also got a world that isn’t very well fleshed out, characters that the movie chooses to not focus on except the main character and the main villain. And you got a movie that tells its audience it’s okay to forgive your parents that neglected you and are active terrorists even if they earned or done absolutely no redemption whatsoever.

I mean Garmadon in this movie BETRAYS them and leaves them to rot so he could terrorize the city again at the end. Then gets eaten by the cat. Then Lloyd forgives him. Idk what more you want me to say.

I’m not gonna act like Crystalized did it any better though. Pick your poison.

But then you got fans of the show. The people who watched the show since kids (that includes me). Who are naturally bias towards the shows lore and characterization…

OOOOOOHHH boy…

I don’t hate EVERY portrayal of the ninja in the movie as much as other people. I actually think there’s some good ideas for an AU version of these characters here. Problem is the movie never does anything with them.

Well, I say I don’t hate every portrayal, the one I truly cannot stand is Zane’s.

There’s just so much wrong with how they portrayed Zane that it just does not work. Not as an adaptation of the character. Not in any way that makes sense for this universe and is actually kinda insulting.

There’s no other robots in this city. (Like there are in the show) Why is Zane the only one and why is he in high school? Why would Wu ever pick a robot to be a ninja?

In the show the reason is pretty simple: Wu didn’t know at the time.

But everyone knows in the movie. What’s movie Wu’s excuse?

There’s also in terms of personality.

Keep in mind later seasons of the show have the same issues, so I’m talking about what it was at the time of the movie.

Zane’s whole robot identity is crucial to his character. The show introduced him as ‘the strange one’. As he couldn’t understand social cues, took things very seriously, didn’t share the same sense of humor as the rest of the team, had a hard time displaying his emotions, and bonded with things the others didn’t and excelled at certain areas like cooking.

He’s a character that connected to a lot of neurodivergent people in the audience who could relate to him. No he’s not intentional autistic rep, but one that definitely mattered to the people that headcannoned him as such.

(Also helps that they introduce other robot characters later that clearly don’t have the same characteristics he does. So really it depends on what you see.)

So the reveal that he was a robot was such a huge deal to not just the plot but to him as he finally got a concrete definition of what he is and who he is. And the show NEVER decides to say “You know, it would be so much better if you were a human!”

“Why can’t you just be normal?!”

That’s part of why I personally can’t stand fics that make Zane human. It just doesn’t feel right to me and misses the point of the character.

While I absolutely did not expect the movie to cover his… really heavy backstory with his inventor/father and how he outlived him, then got his memory and sense of identity wiped by him moments before death, which was meant to be an act of sympathy but would actually harm Zane’s mentality for the entire show…

The movie didn’t need to adapt that. For all we know, movie Zane could have a very happy backstory. And that would be fine. All I wanted was for the identity-seeking aspect of Zane’s character to matter in some way.

It didn’t.

The jokes they use for Zane in this movie are that of “Haha, he’s a robot. Isn’t it so funny that he doesn’t understand humanity very well?”

You know, something that in one episode of the show was portrayed as a BAD THING for people to think that of him! And that those people needed to learn to respect him for who he is!

And that’s the ONLY thing they do with him. Just robot jokes. Very stereotypical robot jokes.

Again, later seasons of the show are guilty of this too. So I will not act like the show is perfect.

For the reasons I listed, these are actually far more offensive and harmful than you think. Especially fans of the show watching the movie. Him being the only robot in this movie world makes me think even more that this actually is autistic coding… and that makes it so much worse.

Zane being a robot being equal to autism is its own discussion. And has its own problems on paper alone. Whether or not this is your headcanon of him, and whether or not you think this is good representation either way is up to your feelings and experiences. (Personally I think it’s better than some live action shows attempting this)

The others don’t even seem to trust or want to be around him that much. The others seem annoyed by him half the time. Like they’re only tolerating him because he’s on their team. Yeah they don’t say that but simple looks and gestures are enough to get that impression. And not once does anyone ever express Zane’s value in their team. That’s the ONE thing that would’ve had me forgive this all.

But there’s my rant. The others?

Jay is mostly fine. I think this personality for the movie is a neat AU concept. Yes show Jay is openly terrified of things and awkward, but if there’s something he wasn’t was SHY.

Movie Jay is a shy and nervous wreck. And you know what? For a high school AU, I think it works. It doesn’t erase Jay’s essence entirely. They at the very least kept the detail of his character that he’s a fast learner.

I appreciate that.

Cole is actually a REALLY interesting concept to me with the AU idea they gave.

On the surface it’s just ‘He’s a DJ and willingly old school’

But if you see the show, this is actually an ODD approach. Because show Cole has a very complicated relationship with music.

In the show, Cole’s parents thrived in singing and dancing. His father specifically was a performer that won several awards with his band ‘The Royal Blacksmiths’. After Cole’s mother passed away, his father proceeded to push his ideals and his passions onto his kid and pressuring him to become another version of him. It got stressful enough that Cole ran away from home and resented music, something that used to be a bond of family for them, and that’s where Wu found him and made him a ninja.

Throughout the show, Cole would open up to music again more, but it’s pretty gradual and a very subtle bit of character development for him throughout the show. He doesn’t need to say “I hate making music” to get the point across. He only starts the music route again whenever it has something to do with making a family member, blood or not, happy.

So movie Cole is interesting to me for that reason. Because at the start, he basically IS a mini Lou. His whole thing is music and it’s heavily reflected on his personality.

To the point where his element in the movie isn’t even animated or portrayed as earth like it’s supposed to, instead it’s… sound waves?

Weird choice. Interesting one though cause maybe that’s just how movie Cole functions.

So it’s “Oh, what if Cole DID follow in his fathers footsteps and DID want to become a musician?”

Very interesting approach for a completely different approach of character development.

But the problem? Just like the others, not utilized.

But I do think this was an interesting AU idea. Is it accurate to the show version of the character? No. But that’s kind of the point I think.

Then there’s the RGB siblings. This is where it gets kinda weird for me.

Thanks to the movie, a lot of my friends mistook Kai and Nya for being twins.

They are not twins in the show. Kai is older.

I don’t think that dents their characters too much in the movie so long as the same points were across. They’re the blood related brother and sister who raised themselves when their parents abandoned them, and climbed out of the ashes to protect each other, and found a new expansion on their family that didn’t have to be blood related to count.

These two, in different ways, are the support of the team and especially Lloyd. They’re usually the lancer characters that Lloyd goes to when he can.

I still say that about Nya even though originally, she was NOT a ninja, but rather was a Samurai with a mech of her own invention that acted as a Tuxedo Mask for the ninja. She didn’t become the water ninja until Season 5.

Which… I know the movie takes heavy inspiration from the first two seasons, the beginning, so for those who haven’t seen the show watching the movie… yikes I feel bad about the lack of a spoiler warning. Same goes for Zane being a robot.

But I think that’s also a factor into Kai, at the former half of this show, (again I’m talking pre-movie with this). He was the first character we were introduced to and we’re following in the show before Lloyd ever showed up. So naturally he’d be the one with the most attention to supporting the Green Ninja. Something that was very vital character development for him individually as well.

He’s the old school one. He’s the cool one. He’s the one who looks out for you even if you don’t want them to. He’s the one that will jump to anything without thinking. He’s also the one with the most value in tradition out of the ninja, as a blacksmith instead of a techie and as a traditional sword fighter rather than a fancy complicated weapon. He doesn’t get involved in tech willingly till he learns Twitter is a thing.

And in the movie, I think they took this characterization and said “Eh, give it to the girl instead.”

So most of show Kai’s character traits are now movie Nya’s. She’s the cool one with the most passion for traditional stories, she’s the one with arguably the most talks with Lloyd to calm him, and she’s pretty loud and brash in personality.

Not saying show Nya is not those things, she is. But the difference in the show was that Nya was HUGE on independence and doing her own thing. Being the only woman and a younger sibling in the main cast is actually a big deal to her. Not wanting to have her destiny be decided by the world or her brother as a damsel in distress or a sacrifice, she took to tech to invent her own ways of helping. Her own character.

Until destiny told her “Actually no, you can’t be the person you want to be. You have to stick to tradition that your mother had and be the water ninja.”

That’s… honestly a very brutally honest message that not a lot of people I see give credit for. Cause yes, expressing yourself and being your own person and being able to make your own fate is amazing… but it’s not always possible.

Sometimes you can’t be the person you want. Sometimes the world just will not let you. That doesn’t mean your identity is worthless, though. If you go with the flow, you can actually find that fate has plans for you that might not suck after all.

Basically a ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ messaging there.

It’s part of why Nya’s whole thing throughout the show is her starting as a damsel trying to reinvent herself and her stereotype, and ending as a willing sacrifice and death of her whole identity that she doesn’t regret because she’s embraced the flow of life and purpose. Even if she forgets herself in the realm of spirituality, her loves one’s never will.

…Until Crystalized undid ALL of that. BUT LETS NOT.

Movie Nya just really isn’t any of that. She’s basically just her brother.

Which… I’m actually fine with. The show has some bumps in the road in execution of her story anyway. And they want the only female of this team to not be a background character cause that’s look bad. I totally understand that. And her being a sibling to Kai makes me forgive it a whole lot more cause it does make sense.

But again, we don’t know what their lives are like or if they have similar backstories to theirs in the show at all.

But where does that leave Kai?

Well his whole character in the movie seems to basically be “I’m the loud one and a complete klutz and meathead.”

Basically TD Tyler.

It’s a personality in the movie that bled in the show post movie. While I personally think it was not THAT bad in the show, Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu made me go “Okay. I understand now.”

As for movie Kai, that’s really about it.

It really was an early indicator of just giving Kai’s character traits to other characters. Before the show was visibly doing it.

Cause movie Lloyd is also basically just Kai but with a different backstory and context to situation. But honestly, I DO see what they were going for here.

As the ONLY ninja to get ANY focus, this version of Lloyd is well explained on what his life is.

In the show, he’s an abandoned child in an abusive boarding school who heavily idolizes his father, Lord Garmadon, and runs away to become a super villain. Only for Destiny to tell him not to, and we see his true colors and that he just wanted his family together and to love him. Something that was… hard. Considering who Garmadon is.

That is actually carried into the movie. Just cut out him running away. Here’s the difference.

Show Lloyd loves his dad and refuses to hurt him until he has to. While he is the Green Ninja, he didn’t resent himself being Garmadon’s son. What he resented was the destiny that took them apart.

Movie Lloyd HATES his dad for abandoning him, terrorizing the city, making said city cancel him for EXISTING, and he wants every excuse to shut this man out of his life forever.

That does make sense. And to the movie’s credit, the movie logic DOES work to make this version of Lloyd make sense.

It makes the movie pretty mean spirited and kinda unpleasant at times. But it works for the story.

I described Lloyd as ‘The Emo Child’. In the show. But that’s two words.

Emo. CHILD.

He’s still a kid. He’s still the youngest. He still has his own child-like wonder of the world and the aspirations that of a child would.

Yeah he’s a lot of angst. But he’s also a sweet kid who deserves hugs.

That’s not very apparent in movie Lloyd. Not that it needs to fit movie context.

But because we never see how the ninja in the movie got together, we have no idea why Lloyd even accepted being the Green Ninja in the first place. He even says in the movie that he’d give it up if it meant he didn’t have to be Garmadon’s son.

Movie Lloyd is the only ninja in this movie with an actual character arc. He resents his dad, tries to be rid of him, only to get consequences for it, goes on a quest to fix his mistake, bonds with his dad to learn he’s… sympathetic? I guess?? And in the end forgives his dad and chooses to let him in his life again.

Simple. Fine. It works on Lloyds end just fine. And I have to give credit for the movie making Lloyd resenting Garmadon more logical than Crystalized ever did.

It’s Garmadon’s end that just makes the whole thing a bad message in the end of ‘forgive your abusers.’

Yes he’s funny. That doesn’t undo his actions.

No it’s not undone in the show either, but at least you can buy the forgiveness there because every character knew that he had no choice.

In the show, Garmadon is the Oni Child of the FSM. Thus all it took was for another Oni creature, the Great Devourer, to trigger his blood and FORCE him into the evil role without his consent. It forced him to do nasty things to his loved ones and the land his dad created, and by the time he became his evil form, he was forcefully stripped away from all of his loved ones and a chance at normal life. So the only way he could ever get that back was to turn the world into his own image, thus having the world become him too. A monster.

The show made it abundantly clear that most of Garmadon’s evil deeds are either out of ambition for what he deems as helping the family, or not his fault at all due to snake venom influence.

I THINK the movie also has this because they do address him getting bit and becoming the creature he appears as in both versions.

Better than nothing I guess.

But then you get his ‘sympathetic backstory’ which is pretty much just a love story between him and Koko-

Yeah Lloyds moms name is actually different in both versions. And in role.

Misako abandoned her child to try and solve the destiny crisis, then returned to his life to help her kid out.

Koko remained a mother to her kid and supported him even when everyone hated him.

These are very different characters basically, and which one you prefer is up to you. Personally… I actually prefer the movie. I do think the mom was the one character that the movie actually improved upon. Especially with a very interesting story for her.

In the show, Misako is a researcher and just the fair maiden figure that Wu and Garmadon fell in love with. To which she chose Garmadon because of Wu’s letter that Garmadon forged his name on… it’s complicated.

In the movie, she was actually a fighter as well and took a part of the wars Garmadon was in. She enjoyed the thrill of the fight and fell in love with her opponent in a pretty cute montage.

But then they had a baby and her reality changed, realizing she could not raise her child on the battlefield. And when Garmadon refused to change his mind, she took Lloyd and left him behind. So she could be a mother.

Explains her actions in the movie all throughout very well and I never got lost when it came to her. She’s probably the one character in the movie I felt the most sorry for. She’s such a sweet parent and her interactions with Lloyd are probably the best parts of the movie. I wanna hug her.

But that’s all that’s shown of Garmadon. Apparently Garmadon was oppressed, but that’s told at the end and not shown or been significant at all.

They don’t hate you cause you look funky. They hate you cause YOU TERRORIZE THEIR CITY ON A DAILY BASIS AND SHOOT PEOPLE OUT OF A VOLCANO

Yeah show Garmadon did similar stuff, but again, WASNT HIS CHOICE.

Here, it’s absolutely his choice cause nothing indicated otherwise.

Garmadon doesn’t even PROCESS his kids existence or his own negligence three quarters of the time. And you expect me to buy a redemption from him?

You know, I’d be fine with it if he was just a one dimensional villain and the story of the movie was about Lloyd putting his energy away from a family that doesn’t care about him and more towards a surrogate one he has.

But no. You gotta have Lloyd forgive Garmadon and have Garmadon redeemed.

Cause that’s what the show did.

Even though this is supposed to be an AU not connected to the show so we can do whatever we want.

The most they do for Garmadon’s redemption is force him to be the mentor after Wu got yeeted off a bridge by a butterfly, have him go “Oh yeah, I DID shoot people out of a volcano!”, teach his son how to catch, and tell his son his backstory.

(Speaking if, Wu to me is basically the same. Just different voice actor delivery. I got nothing to say on him)

And then if that IS redemption, then he failed it. Because he offers Lloyd to be his general when they take over the city again, showing he’s learned nothing. Then when Lloyd says no, he steals their magic weapons and ditches them in a temple leaving them to DIE. Then he goes to terrorize the city again.

What redemption. /s

Again, this was all HIS choice. If it was not and if it was snake venom, they couldn’t at least give a visual cue or address it?

And now LLOYD has to apologize?

NO. LLOYD WAS RIGHT. THERES ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY HE SHOULD LET HIS DAD INTO HIS LIFE. THE DAD HIMSELF PROVED THAT.

It just paints an unintentional bad message of ‘you have to forgive your abusers’

I’m sorry but Lloyd doesn’t owe this Garmadon anything.

I do like Lloyd’s VA delivery though, and the speech about green being the color of life. I actually like the idea of Lloyds power being his heart. Yeah it’s not flashy powers like in the show, but for an AU, it’s a really cool idea and I wish they used it more.

I have mixed feelings on the celebrity casting. Did I expect the original voice actors? No. But this casting wasn’t awful.

Garmadon’s VA is amazing in this movie. Jackie Chan as Wu is very subjective I feel, love it or hate it. Nya and Jay’s were really good too. I think the only one that didn’t work for me was Kai’s VA. Just… why does this teenager sound like a 50 year old man??

But honestly, I think the thing that got to me the most about the movie was something I praised about the show not too long ago.

The bond between the ninja.

I talked about how the show is a master class at character dynamics. There is almost no point where the characters are just standing there in one big clunk. Someone is saying something, someone is making a comment, someone is doing something, and it’s usually there for others to see and react to. It’s a very small thing, but it keeps the scenes alive and fresh the whole time and helps the audience be sold on the characters bond.

They don’t wait for the scenes of “Okay it’s time for characters to interact”. They just do it all the time.

And guess what the movie did? They’re just there in one big chunk all the time. With “okay it’s time for characters to interact” bits.

It’s one thing to not explore the other ninja at all. It’s another to ignore their bond.

In the show, they’re a found family. They all had rough upbringings in life and find a new sense of purpose in each other.

That’s NEVER emphasized in the movie except for one speech at the end Lloyd makes. Mostly cause we don’t know the other ninjas lives, and we don’t know how they even got together. Cause as I said, the movie starts at the middle, and awkwardly cuts after Garmadon is forgiven to be the end. We don’t know what it is about THIS ninja team that we should care about. It’s not shown.

All were shown is them being a team by circumstance only. Then Lloyd pulls out the cat laser and the cat nearly kills them. Then they hate Lloyd for it and spend the rest of the movie making fun of Lloyd.

Which yeah they make fun of each other in the show too, but where it ended in the show was playful teasing in the middle of moments that showed they cared about each other. And when one bond between two or more of them was broken, you felt it.

Here? I don’t know that and there isn’t anything besides the high school montage to show they cared. Just some comments about “Oh it’s okay Lloyd, it’s just awkward that your dad is a terrorist”. And then they make fun of Lloyds expense.

It’s mean spirited. It makes me think they don’t like each other. And it’s not like they ever apologize for it. They’re just teammates because Wu said so. They’re just tolerating Lloyd cause Wu said so.

Honestly the bloopers for this movie show more personality and more of this bond than the entire movie does.

…OOF that took awhile. I don’t even know why I did this, I just didn’t feel like sleeping. Uh… you read this, congrats. Idk why you did.

[gabessquishytum]

Did you know Oscar Wilde and Walt Whitman once spent an intimate evening together? Which makes me wild, if you'll pardon the pun, and also reminds me of Poet!Dream from Moorishflower's recent cowboy au.

My particular riff would be similar. Dream is a young poet on a speaking tour of the UK and the US espousing the ideals of a more bohemian lifestyle versus one grounded in reason and security. One should strive to see all of his dreams come true. He doesn't quite know what his tour exists partially to promote a rather scathing play based on him and his enclave back in London, but the seats fill themselves and he's getting a very nice pay. One such person who attends his talks is Hob.

Hob is not a young man anymore. He's spent the better part of his life working the trades and molding himself into being the sort of intellectual that he wants to be. He's entirely self-taught in most of his artistic matters and has only recently become a national sensation after a volume of poetry he has written about his life as a poor workman and of the intense friendships he's had with other men becomes a best seller. He thinks Dream is a little naive, but appreciates his fight for the arts.

They both happen to know the same literary agent and said agent gets them to correspond with each other. Both make horrible first impressions as Dream, who has never read a line Hob has written, basically stands in awe that someone without a formal education could be so good. Hob responds in kind that living a life focused solely on art must be heaven when he doesn't have to worry about paying his rent. They volley back and forth for a few weeks, trading well-humored insults and falling ever so closer in love than before. That is until Dream's speaking tour comes to an end and he must leave. Hob concedes then and invites him over for dinner.

At dinner, they drink wine and talk philosophy. Dream is much more humble in person than he is via correspondence. Hob also is much more learned than he comes across. Dream is actually in awe of him making the best of his life no matter the situation. Which Dream simply didn't think was possible. He places his hand on Hob's knee and one thing leads to another. About three months after he's returned to London, he reads a new poem from Hob that's just been published in a highly respected magazine and while it's titled "An Ode to Somnus", he knows it's about him his heart just soars.

- 🤜 Anon

This is a great AU, I absolutely love it. If you guys are interested in reading more about Oscar and Walt's romantic evening, there's a fantastic little article in The Toast which I'll link here.

Anyway, I can't stop thinking about Dream putting his hand on Hob’s knee. And Hob calling Dream a "great, splendid boy". God, yeah. Hob taking Dream into his lap and telling him that he's so pretty and clever. Dream pressing coy kisses to the edge of his mouth until Hob takes him properly in hand, slides rough fingers into his neatly combed hair, and kisses the soul out of him.

Dream lies in bed at home and luxuriates in the memory of Hob’s touch, and he has never been so happy. He takes a clipping from the magazine and presses it against his heart. The next time he writes to Hob, he leaves kiss marks stained with rouge on the paper. And he's already begging for another speaking tour - he already has so many new thoughts to present, about following one's dreams and the nature of love. And he wants very much to give Hob a private performance.

[roosterbruiser]

𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ✯ 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞

✯ 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 "𝐇𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐦𝐚𝐧" 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐘𝐨𝐮 (𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞: 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲) ✯ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: You and Jake go to your house after a night of celebrating your high school graduation. Things get cloudy quickly. ✯ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 8.7K ✯ 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ✯ 𝐅𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐲'𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞 #𝟏 ✯ 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞'𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐱𝐭𝐚𝐩𝐞 #𝟏 ✯ 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ✯ 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐛𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩, 𝐓𝐗 𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝟐𝟒𝐭𝐡, 𝟐𝟎𝟎𝟖

The ugly little radio on your cluttered desk is on right now, playing very lowly. 

Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd is playing now and you’re bobbing your head along as you steady yourself by gripping the edge of the desk. You’re definitely drunk--can feel the beer pulsing in your veins. You can feel the lining of your stomach practically deteriorating in a pool of Busch Lite.  

“Careful now,” Jake teases quietly, chuckling. “Don’t disturb all your study materials.”

He’s saying this because your desk contains precisely zero studying materials--and it never has. It has random Monopoly cash with little notes written on them, expired nail polish, a few empty containers of Bug Juice, some plastic butterfly clips you stole from the local beauty supply, a dinky slinky, soda-flavored chapstick you also stole from the local beauty supply, and a couple bottles of Citrus Mistress that are all half-used. 

“Didn’t need to study as hard as you,” you quip, “and we still graduated with the same GPA. Life is such a mystery.” 

“What’s a mystery is how you sleep on this tiny bed,” Jake groans softly, trying to get comfortable on your unmade bed. 

“Well, I’m not a six-foot baseball player,” you respond, shrugging. “So that definitely helps.”

“Aren’t you supposed to have Southern hospitality or somethin’?” Jake complains, a smile still tugging on his lips.

It makes you giggle. You and him climbed in through your bedroom window only ten minutes ago and already he’s insulting your hospitality--rightfully so, really. You’re not doing much to make him comfortable in your cramped and unruly room. Not that you ever really have to--he has been coming in through your bedroom window a long time and doesn’t ever require an invitation or welcoming. He’ll moan all day about your tiny bed, but will still sprawl himself out on top of it and rifle through the books you keep at your bedside. You will sometimes even come home from work and find him already there in your bedroom, blowing cigarette smoke into the little blanket you keep at the end of your bed just like you always do. 

“Can’t help the way I was born,” you sigh, tapping your finger on the worn wooden grains as you search for a matchbook among all your clutter. “Which was apparently without hosting skills.” 

Jake laughs, shaking his head softly. 

“So, it’s in your DNA to be so rude all the damn time?” 

You nod, grabbing the matches finally. They were hiding beneath a few Dum-Dum suckers. 

“Exactly,” you breathe, shooting a grin over your shoulder. 

Jake’s grinning at you, pretending to roll his eyes. 

“Smells like fuckin’ oranges over here,” Jake mumbles.

 Of course he’s also pretending like this fact bothers him--like he isn’t fighting an overpowering urge to bury his face in your quilt and smell you. He doesn’t even love the scent of that body spray you practically bathe in--he only likes it because you wear it, because he associates the smell with you now. He can never remember the name of your body spray--something dumb like Orange Cream Dream or Obscene Tangerine--but he could pick that scent out of a line-up. 

“Anythin’ else you wanna complain about?” 

You peer at Jake from the corner of your eye, biting your lip. He thinks for a moment before shaking his head. 

“Not presently.” He smiles. 

“From now on, you can start submittin’ your complaints to the official complaint box,”' you tell him, cheekily nodding towards the overflowing wastebasket stuck beside your desk. “Your feedback is valuable to us here at Filly’s Lodge.”

“Noted,” Jake says with a grin. “Love that face, too. Service with a smile!”

You poke your tongue out at him, ignoring the burning in your cheeks.  

Jake smells like springwater and cigarettes. He’s sitting on top of the tired quilt that covers your twin mattress, leaning against the wall lazily with a half-smile on his wet lips. Whenever he leaves, carefully climbing out of your bedroom window and over the buttonbush that sits below it, your bed will smell like him. You’ll be able to bury your face in the quilt, that worn cotton pressing into your cheeks and lips, and pretend like he is still here. 

 You think he’s still high and know he’s still drunk. 

“Wanna play Misty,” Jake whispers, narrowing his eyes at you as you try to fruitlessly strike a match. “C’mon, I’ll play quietly!”

You’re drunk, too--drunk enough that you keep having to lean against the wobbling three-legged dresser and blink away the bleariness in your eyes. But you’re not drunk enough to take his words at face-value. He can’t play his guitar quietly any easier than you can fucking light this match. 

“Is it that you’re stupid or that you think I’m stupid?” You whisper. “Just tryin’ to get the full picture here.”

The match finally strikes in a wisp of sulfur; you light the candy-scented candle and settle it on your dresser before shuffling across the carpet to the bed. Jake doesn’t move from his spot in the middle of the mattress, limbs strewn all about. They’re thin and sinewy, still paled from wintertime.  

“Oh, Filly-girl,” he moans lowly, collapsing into you when the bed dips beneath your weight. The springs groan and you know, even as drunk as you are, that it’s too loud. “You’re a mean little thing, ain’t you?” 

“Hush up, Seresin,” you hiss in a whispered tone, leaning your head on his chest. “You’re too damn loud without Misty in the mix.”

“You love how loud I am,” he accuses. 

“Or you’ve just broken me down finally,” you sigh. 

He grins. 

“I may be good at makin’ nice with all them horses at the Carolina’s,” Jake starts, stretching his fingertips towards the ceiling and giving you a fleeting glimpse of his taut belly, “but I don’t think I’m good enough to break you, Filly.”

This pleases you enough for heat to rise in your cheeks--if you’ve never been anything, it’s shy. It’s difficult for you to hide whatever emotion you’re feeling--it’s always written clear as day on your face. Even if it wasn’t, you’re sure that Jake would be able to figure it out in a few seconds flat.  

“Damn straight,” you tell him with your brows blanched. “No one is. It’d do you good to remember that, too.” 

He mockingly salutes you, which has you batting his hand away with a giggle.  

His weight is a familiar one, one that is as regular to you as a cigarette after lunch or a swim in the spring. He’s warm and you know that it isn’t just because of all the beer he drank--he’s perpetually radiating heat, oozing out of his body in thick and suffocating waves. He’s laughing a breathy sort of laugh, his aspen-colored eyes hazy and far away even as his nose nudges against yours during his bid to regain his posture. 

God--his breath smells yeasty. His saliva must be thick with alcohol; it makes spit gather under your tongue just thinking about what his mouth must taste like. And when he’s this close to you, falling sideways into your body so that he’s very nearly on top of you, you can smell him exactly: the American Spirit cigarettes he smokes but doesn’t like, the muddy water of Silver Spring, the musty smoke from your bonfire, the marijuana you smoked, the beer he drank, the dirt you laid upon.

“M’fallin’,” he mumbles once he realizes that he’s on top of you. 

“You’re fallen,” you correct, carefully slinking out from under him. “All over my bed, might I add. Scoot over!”  

“Sorry,” he slurs, rubbing his eyes and raking his hands through his shaggy locks. Then he gives you a grin, one that is toothy as it is wide. It’s the kind of grin that usually prefaces something brash and stupid. “Watch how shhhh, quiet I can be when I play guitar,” he whispers, raising his eyebrows as he sits up against your chipped wall again.

The world is fuzzy as he pretends to grab Misty--which is not actually physically on the floor or even in this room, for that matter--and settle her over his lap. Your throat is caked in beer still as he even pretends to tune, closing his eyes like he’s trying to really hear if she’s ready to be played. There’s a bubble in your chest--one that is bloated and filled with all the noise that you’re trying very hard to keep behind your grinning lips--and you’re afraid it’s going to burst when Jake starts strumming his faux-strings. 

“This one goes out to my best friend, Filly,” he says to his invisible audience, leaning up against the wall when he starts to slump over again. “She’s a pain in my ass and the love of my life,” he finishes.

“Really know how to make a girl swoon, don’t you, mustang?” You tease him, rolling your eyes to the high heavens but letting your cheek rest against the warm skin of his shin anyway. His leg hairs, the ones that you’ve teased him about since they first arrived in middle school, tickle your cheeks. 

You’ve been calling him mustang for a long, long time. Neither of you really remember when it started: it was sometime after you met in the quaint carpeted Sunday school classroom at Silverkeep Baptist, but sometime before you were old enough to steal cigarettes from your mama’s purses. You’ve always been a bit of a precocious child, unruly mop of curls a mirror of your quick wit and tenacity. Mustang just falls from your mouth so easily--partly teasing and partly not.

He’s been calling you Filly for as long as you can remember. It’s what everyone has always called you; your daddy started it up when you were young and you grew so used to the name that you preferred it. You even had teachers calling you Filly by the second week of kindergarten. It just suited you. 

“Every now and then,” he answers cheekily, giving you a grin that could blind a driver with his white teeth and wet lips and dimples and tan skin. “Shh, m’playing my lady.” 

You aren’t sure if he means you or imaginary Misty--he definitely means Misty, though.

You’re biting your lip hard, numb from the terrible beer Hyde was able to snag from the corner store, batting away the glassiness of your eyes as Jake pretends to stroke his guitar. He’s good at it, even if his guitar isn’t really in his arms. Lord knows you’ve seen him play enough times to imagine what the tune would sound like had he really had Misty sitting on his lap now. He’s good at a lot of things, which both endlessly annoys you and enamors you. He’s the best damn pitcher the Silverbullet’s have ever seen (and probably ever will see now that Jake’s aged off the team), he can handle more of that piss-tasting beer than anyone you know, he’s charming as a TV weatherman, and he ain’t half bad at riding all those horses he tends to on the Carolina’s farm on the edge of town. 

He’s still strumming that pretend instrument while you watch on, pretending to be annoyed. Really, though, you’re the opposite of annoyed: you’re overjoyed to be in here with him. He’s not supposed to be in your bedroom, especially without your parents knowing, especially this late, especially when the both of you are drunk. 

But the two of you are too excited to not be with each other right now. You graduated high school today, sweating through your polyester robes, walking across that rickety stage holding each other’s arms, celebrating with Hyde and Ruth with an entire afternoon (and evening) of drinking and smoking on the banks of Silver Spring. And when Ruth and Hyde decided to finally call it quits, Ruth whining about how early church was tomorrow morning and Hyde hardly able to keep his eyes open, you and Jake had silently agreed to keep your party going privately. 

So that’s how the two of you have ended up in your little bedroom, half on top of each other, Jake serenading you silently, your giggles hardly muffled by your wet lips. 

Free Bird finishes and Me and Bobby McGee by Janis Joplin begins quietly. 

“Any requests from the audience?” Jake asks, pretending to scan over a crowd as he looks over at your overflowing hamper and your drugstore makeup and your mismatched socks and your crate of old records. “I’ll take what I can get!”  

“Play Free Bird,” you mockingly call to him, grinning when he spurts out laughter. 

You’re definitely not sober and even if that fact had been lost on you earlier, the shiver that tickles your spine when his throat opens up and vibrates like that would basically be a flashing red neon sign that says you’re drunk! And also the fact that the two of you are being audacious enough to laugh out loud when your parents are sleeping a measly twenty feet away through two flimsy plywood doors is a screaming indicator.      

“Don’t know if I have a fourteen-minute guitar solo in me tonight,” Jake says quietly, raking his hands through his hair and finally dropping Misty back into the air she was born from. “What else can we do?”

The two of you both know the logical answer: go to bed. Jake should really get up and out of your bed while he’s still sober enough, walk on down to his house, climb into his bedroom window, and get a few hours of shut-eye before church. 

But neither of you are willing to leave each other. 

“Drink?” You suggest with a shrug. 

Jake points at you, lips pursed. 

“I like the way you think, Filly-girl,” he says. 

So you sink to the floor again, trying hard to be quiet as you push through all your old stuffed animals and candy wrappers and dust bunnies to pull out the dwindling case of Blue Ribbon you’d gotten ahold of a few weeks ago. 

It’s lukewarm at best, especially since your room is always so hot, but it’s all the two of you have right now. 

“Here,” Jake slurs, gesturing for both cans. He pops yours open for you so your fingers don’t get wet, never mind the droplets that landed on your quilt. “Drink up, buttercup.” 

The two of you unceremoniously clink cans before swigging the liquid. You can’t drink it without grimacing, even if you don’t exactly mind the temperature of it. It’s just that it tastes like fucking piss. Jake is too drunk to care about what it tastes like, but even if he did, he’s sure that twist in your lips and pitiful squint of your eyes would numb his tongue.

“That’s good stuff,” he teases and you laugh again. 

He really loves that sound, even when it’s whispered. 

“We’re livin’ the high life over here,” you whisper, biting your lip hard. “How’s your day today?” 

It tickles him that you’re asking as if you weren’t with him all day. 

He sighs, deciding to play along as he rests an arm behind his head, taking another long drink of the beer as you sip on yours. 

“Fine. Nothin’ much happened. Graduated high school. Smoked some weed. Drank some beer. Went swimmin’.” 

You nod, taking another drink, still trying to conceal a toothy grin. Your cheeks feel warm and fuzzy--probably from consuming another beer.

“Sounds like every other Saturday,” you tease. 

He nods, taking another drink. 

“Just another day in paradise, I guess,” he says. Then he looks at you with his eyes very soft, with his face very open. “How’s your day?” 

You know why he’s asking you. It’s because today marks the beginning of something that feels a lot like an end. It’s something that makes your belly ache just to think about. Today, the two of you graduated high school in the same building you started kindergarten together in. This will be your last summer with both of you living in Silverkeep because come August, he’ll be going to the University of Austin on a baseball scholarship--a full-ride. And you--well, you’re just staying here. 

“My day’s okay,” you tell him, trying not to let your face reflect the bitterness that has suddenly settled in the pit of your belly. “Ready for this summer.” 

At the mention of summer, and because of the way your lips twitched into an unintentional frown and your eyes getting glassy, Jake sighs. 

“Still got a weddin’ date in you?” 

That makes you smile. He’s really, really glad to see that little gap between your front teeth. He’d do just about anything in the world to see your lips curl upwards, to see those cheeks of yours turn pink as an apple.

You are mildly surprised, though, that it’s you he’s taking to the wedding. 

“‘Course you do,” you tell him with a smile, throwing your hair over your shoulder as you adjust to get comfortable on your little mattress. “Wouldn’t make you go to that weddin’ all on your lonesome.” 

“You’re a saint,” he says with a grin. 

The wedding the two of you are talking about is his oldest sister’s wedding. Harper Seresin is marrying Curtis Bennett, who is ten years older than her and looks and acts it, late in the month of July. Harper, who still lives at home, drives Jake absolutely up the wall. So does his other older sister Callie and his younger sister Brandy. Jake reckons the only people that don’t drive him crazy are you and his mama, who you affectionately call Mama Fran. 

“Yeah, I’m pretty much the best,” you sigh, pressing your face against his legs. “Gonna make me slow dance with you, mustang?” 

Carefully, you begin to stroke his leg. It’s honestly an absent movement, just something that you do to feel close to him, something you do without even really thinking about it. But you’ve grown so comfortable to the feeling of his soft sandy hairs against your skin that it soothes something in your chest that seems to always ache. 

“Hell yeah I am,” Jake says. “Gotta show you off!” 

You roll your eyes--ignore the stuttering of your heart. You take another drink and he can feel it against his ankle when you swallow. It’s such a fluid and soft movement, one that makes his own throat feel tight. 

“Sorry in advance for when I step on your toes,” you sigh, smiling coyly.

“No, you’re not,” Jake snorts quietly. 

You laugh--your breath is warm against his leg. It’s the warmest thing in the entire room despite the lack of air conditioning in your entire house, despite how stuffy it is in here, despite the rickety fan in the corner blowing warm air over his face.  

“No, I’m not,” you confirm. 

He’s grinning at you now, basking in the warmth of your flushed cheek against his naked shin. He’s certain there are little stars in his eyes as he lets them rest on the sweet curve of your nose and the pucker in your lips as you flutter your eyes shut to think of what to do next. Your face is a familiar one to him--one that he can hardly remember a time before, when he didn’t know those long lashes and that little gap between your front teeth. Everything about you is familiar; the sound of your open-mouthed laughter, the feel of your chipped fingernails against the skin of his scalp, your skin against his skin. 

He can’t help himself--he knows he’s drunk, he knows it only exacerbates his throbbing need to touch you all the time, but he submits to it now--as he leans forward just slightly to let his thumb rest against your lips. He’s not even thinking about his girlfriend right now--Hell, he hardly thought about her at all today. He left Emmaline in the dust today to spend the first day of summer break with his friends--but really, he ditched Emmaline to spend the first day of summer with you. 

“Like your lips like this,” he says quietly, pretending like your spit on the pad of his finger isn’t making it hard for him to breathe.

“Like what?” You ask softly, voice thin. 

Your heart is starting to race--you can feel it pulsing behind your eyelids.  

“Naked,” he answers after a moment, throat impossibly tighter.  

What he means is that he didn’t like that Barbie-pink lipstick you wore to graduation, the one that came off in crumbs. He didn’t like your blue eyeshadow either or the way it coated your freckled cheeks when you blinked. Or the neon blush on your cheeks or the smudged glittery eyeliner haphazardly smeared on your eyelids. He likes your face like this: open and bare. 

The only thing he liked about that cheap-ass Barbie-labia lipstick was that you were unable to stop disturbing it, so it kept ending up smeared in the corners of your mouth or on your teeth. So Jake, being the Southern gentleman he is, corrected it for you. Which meant that he got to touch your mouth--which felt unholy and downright sacred. Once, when it was smeared across your teeth, he told you to snarl before he let his thumb run across the silky wetness of your teeth. Under the Texas sun on that stupid little football field with all of your graduating class (which was a whopping twenty-seven students), he was sure he was going to melt from the heat of your mouth on his finger alone. Especially when you had quickly kissed his finger, effectively staining it in the shape of your mouth, in a very you-way of showing gratitude.

Your breath is hitched right now as he stares at your lips. 

He’s drunk, you remind yourself. He’s drunk, he’s drunk, he’s drunk.

“Naked, huh?” You whisper, trying hard not to just open your mouth and let his finger come inside. “Reckon that’s scandalous, what with your girly-friend and all.”

You’re teasing him to mask the throbbing between your legs. You suddenly wish you weren’t on this bed with him, the bed that hasn’t been big enough to fit both of you since you were in eighth grade, the bed you two always squish together on. 

You gulp your beer, finishing half of it. 

But Jake knows you--knows you better than anyone else in the entire world. So he knows that when you tease him, when you call Emmaline Odette his girly-friend with that little bitter lilt in your voice, when your eyebrows blanche, when your lips part wetly that you’re defending something. He isn’t precisely sure what it is that you’re defending, but it’s something big--something soft. 

Jake is just drunk enough to say it to you, just drunk enough to get it off his chest the way he’s been wanting to since, what feels like, the dawn of time. He feels like he’s just the right level of lovesick and inebriated to say fuck Emmaline, I’m in love with you. If he was sober, he would feel instantaneously guilty. Emmaline isn’t a bad girl--she’s just prissy, which is why you don’t like her. And it isn’t Emma’s fault that she’s prissy, that she’s never really struggled in any capacity. It also isn’t her fault that she’s just a placeholder--a placeholder for you. 

“You’re right,” Jake says finally, pushing aside all thoughts of Emmaline and the voicemails she’s probably left for him on his family’s phone despite him constantly asking her not to do that. “Maybe I should just break up with her.” 

You’re shocked for a moment--shocked enough to laugh dryly. But his face is unchanging as he gazes down at you: his eyes soft and wickedly beautiful in the plastic lamplight of your room, his lips pink, his finger still pressed against your mouth. 

But then something changes. Your spine is tingling as you straighten it, fingers wet against the aluminum can in your clutches. You’re something between nervous and audacious. 

“Didn’t know you wanted to break up with Emma,” you whisper, unwilling to move your mouth away from his finger.

When his thumb comes down to grasp the point of your chin, when he practically holds you in place as his eyes darken, your toes curl into the cotton pillow they’re resting on. If your mama was in here, she’d be sighing and groaning about you laying on your bed without showering--especially since you were swimming all day. But right now, as Jake gazes down at you and lets his middle finger rest on your bottom lip too, you don’t care about any of it. 

“Do you want me to?”

Jake has put the ball in your court--he knows it and so do you. 

“I don’t know what I want,” you answer. 

It feels layered and you suppose it is. You don’t like Emmaline as much as she doesn’t like you. Girls like her, with their clean hair and manicures and thin eyebrows and bedazzled jeans, aren’t friends with girls like you. You haven’t had a new pair of jeans since your freshman year of high school, you bite your nails when they’re too long, and your hair is too rambunctious to even try and brush. You two are as different as silk and leather; one of you is much tougher, but more people prefer looking at the softer one.

It isn’t that you want Jake to be alone, even if you don’t love when he has a girlfriend. Of course you don’t like it--you’re in love with him, you think. Of course you’re not gonna like any girlfriend he has. But he’s a good sport when there’s some plaid-wearing boy sniffing around you and you try--not very hard, but still--to be good for him. 

“You don’t like her,” he says and he isn’t angry when he says this. He’s not accusing so much as stating.

“No, I don’t,” you say, nodding.

 You’re an honest person--a brutally honest person. He likes that about you. You don’t dilly-dally around. 

“You don’t hide it very well,” Jake tells you. 

You nod again. 

“No, I don’t,” you repeat, a small smile tugging at your lips. “Do you? Like her?” 

Jake shrugs before he even means to. He knows that he shouldn’t be shrugging when you ask him if he likes his own girlfriend. But he can’t help but be honest with you--he’s always been honest with you. 

“She’s fine,” he answers. “She’s probably gonna be pissed that I wasn’t with her tonight.” 

He says this like he doesn’t already know that she’s pissed. They had argued about it earlier that day, just like they’d argued about him walking with you instead of her, just like they argued about him pointing to you in the crowd before hitting home runs instead of her. He couldn’t help it--it was just in his blood to think of you first.

“Probably,” you answer. “She gonna leave one of those pissy messages on your house phone again?” 

Jake groans and smiles at the same time. 

“How’d it go again? What’d she say that one time?” You’re laughing, basking in this feeling right now, laughing with the boy you’re in love with about the girl he’s dating. 

“This really reflects poorly on your character,” Jake imitates Emmaline, letting his voice raise a couple octaves--just because he knows it’ll make you laugh. 

And you do laugh--the pretty, pretty laugh that he swears he hears in his dreams sometimes. It’s a beautiful one--a perfect one. 

“Oh, that’s good,” you breathe, still giggling. “What a fuckin’ princess.” 

“What--you don’t think me missin’ our eight o’clock phone call reflects poorly on my character?”  

He still has his finger pressed against your lips--it’s grown comfortable there. There really aren’t many places on your body that he hasn’t grown entirely comfortable touching and your mouth is no exception; he pulled every single one of your baby teeth because it made you too squeamish. 

“She reflects poorly on your character,” you whisper, a boldness biting your tongue. “Don’t you worry about what she says ‘bout you when you’re not there?” 

Jake’s spine prickles at the thought. 

The Odette’s are probably the richest people in Silverkeep--like the kind of folk that could afford to live really anywhere else. The first time Jake went over to her house, the big old brick thing with freshly-painted shutters and bright green grass, he was afraid of drying his hands on the monogrammed towels in the guest bathroom. He felt dirty when he was around her--even if he’d just bathed. Even having sex with Emmaline was like taking a shower; he felt cleaner after. 

“Well, now I do,” Jake laughs dryly, pinching your lip softly. 

You don’t move away, just blinking up at him. 

“You should,” you tell him honestly, fingering the tab of your beer can. “She ain’t our kinda people.” 

Jake tuts, shrugging again. He knows you’re right. He really, really knows you’re right. And really, you’re the only person brave enough to say that about him. Your family is poor and so is Jake’s. Your parents work themselves to the bone to give you guys off-brand cereal and cramped bedrooms, neither of you have cars, all of your clothes are stretched to the limit, and a portion of both your paychecks go towards the house payment. Emmaline’s never worked a day in her life--if she didn’t want to, she probably would never have to. Jake knows this. And he’d be lying if he said the tightness in his chest was only from being so close to you. 

“Can’t say that,” Jake says, but his voice is thin. “We’re all supposed to love each other, right? Or whatever hippie-shit Hyde’s always preachin’.” 

He’s trying to make you smile, but you’re not. You’re suddenly worried about what Emmaline says about him when he’s not there. You’ve wondered the entire three months they’ve been together what she sees in him. It isn’t that you think there’s nothing about him that’s attractive--Hell, you think everything about him is achingly perfect. But it’s just that girls like her usually date boys that get regular haircuts and drive big trucks. They don’t usually date the fatherless boy that works his tail off shoveling horse shit to lessen the financial burden on his mama.

“You deserve someone nicer,” you tell him finally, your voice quieter than before but just as serious. “Someone that won’t make you get your license.” 

Jake nods along, not disagreeing with you. 

“Probably good to have a license,” he tries softly, shrugging. 

“You don’t have a car,” you say with a pointed look. 

You don’t say it, but you know that he probably won’t have a car for the foreseeable future. The only way he’d be able to afford a car is if he won the lottery or if someone died and left him money.

“Fine,” Jake sighs. “Then who should I be with?” 

You’re turning pink again--you can feel it flooding your face and chest. And you’re overwhelmed by the scent of him, by all the places your bodies are touching. So you just blink up at him, hoping that he can’t see the lump in your throat. 

And Jake is looking down at you with a sweet sort of softness, one that is usually attached to his level of drunkenness. He’s seems to have hit that sweet spot right now, that spot that makes him feel lovely and brave and scared and elated all at the same time. Just looking at you, looking at the flush in your cheeks and the slight tremble of your lower lip underneath his fingers--it makes him want you bad. 

He retracts his grip from your mouth, aching for the warmth and familiarity of your lips, but pushing through it. He picks up your hand, carefully detaching it from your beer can. He holds your fingers, his heart thumping in his throat, and glances down at your fingernails. They’re bitten things, always short and never even. There’s little half-crescents of dirt beneath them, too, because there isn’t enough time in your day to care about something so trivial. 

“Someone who’ll get some dirt under their fingernails?”

He’s not sure why he’s said it--but he has and now it’s lingering in the air. And it isn’t regret that he feels slinking up his frame, no, not at all. It’s a strange sort of relief. He’s said it--or at least suggested it. He’s never gotten so close to just blurting it out. But this will work for now.  

You’re certain that your heart stops for an entire minute as you stare up at him dumbly. You’re in a state of total disbelief right now because as much as you two touch each other, as much as your harbor feelings for him, as in love with you as you are, you’re entirely sure that it is one-sided.

But you know, know with your entire heart and every other organ in your trembling body, that there is dirt under your fingernails right now.  

And then he softly brings your fingers up to his lips, his eyes flickering shut as he kisses your knuckles. Now you really can’t breathe, really can’t move because you’re sure that if you do, this fragile thing will collapse. 

Jake feels the same, just inhaling your skin while you’re allowing him to, just trying to memorize the placement of every bone in your sweet hand, just trying to remember the exact way you smell. He can’t look at your face--terrified that you will be horrified. 

But you’re not moving away from him. You’re not moving at all.

He lets your hand fall back onto the bed and it lays there limp because you simply don’t have it in you to pick it up--you’re entirely paralyzed right now, trying to blink yourself back into reality.  

Then he touches your mouth again and you let him, trying to hide the hitch in your breathing, trying to swallow the bundle of nerves sitting thickly on your tongue. And this time, he doesn’t ask--he just presses until your lips are parted and then swipes his thumb across your teeth. There it is--that little gap he loves so much. 

“Someone with a gap between their front teeth?” 

You nearly moan out loud. Your thighs are burning because you’re pressing them together so hard, suddenly desperate for some sort of friction. In fact, you’re paralyzed all except for an ache in your core that is starting to radiate all across your body. You’ve felt this before, sure, having a handful of romps with boys here and there. But it’s never been from something as simple, something as sexy, as Jake touching these little parts of your body. 

“What’re you doin’?” You ask, voice trembling. 

And Jake retracts immediately, heat flooding his cheeks, a sick feeling washing over his body at the very notion of making you uncomfortable. 

But then you reach out and grab his wrist. You’ve touched his wrist before--Hell, you’ve touched just about every spot on his body. But right now, wrapping your fingers around those bones and that skin and feeling that quickened pulse, it feels very intimate. 

“I didn’t say stop,” you breathe. 

And maybe it’s because you’re drunk still, though significantly more sober from his touch, and maybe it’s because he’s drunk and a little bit high. Maybe it’s because he’s looking at you with such softness, his eyes wide and swimming in sweetness. Or maybe it’s because you’ve only dreamed about moments like this one. 

But you lead his hand back to your parted lips, eyelashes trembling terribly as you press his fingers into your mouth and let them fall on your tongue. His response is immediate--a little gasp catching in his mouth, his eyes bleary and wide, his cheeks reddening. 

You almost can’t believe that it’s happening; his fingers are in your mouth and you’re tasting his skin, all that dirt and beer and water and oil dissolving in your warm saliva. It slides down your throat as you very softly suck, swirling your tongue on his fingertips, blinking up at him with big eyes. 

He can’t believe it’s happening either--watching your tongue work around his fingers like you were born to do it, your lashes trembling ever so lightly as you look up at him, your body radiating heat. His mind is swimming and his heart is pulsing and his cock is starting to throb, but above all of that, all he can think about is you, you, you, you, you.

So he takes his fingers out of your mouth slowly, basking in the feeling of your tongue sliding across his knuckles, and catches a glimpse of that saliva coating his fingers before he lets his hand float down to your chest. 

Your breaths are rapid as you eagerly await his touch, suddenly dizzy with want for him. And he looks up at you as his fingers tug at the hem of your dress, the one you outgrew a few years ago, and you just nod. Of course you do--you’re desperate for him. 

His hand snakes beneath your dress, skirting across the curve of your hip and stilling when they land on the hills of your breasts. Your bra is honestly ill-fitting, too, and he already knows that from swimming earlier. He knows that you’re wearing yellow cotton underwear, too, and that they’re probably dried of spring water now but wet with arousal.    

Jake indulges that overwhelming desire to get closer to you. He moves clumsily and so do you, tangling in each other with bated breaths, trying to fit on your stupid twin bed.

Then the two of you are laying nose-to-nose, looking deeply into each other’s eyes, each of you too afraid to speak for fear of breaking whatever trance has fallen over the both of you. You’re close enough to kiss each other, but you don’t. He just rests his forehead against yours and you nudge your nose against his softly. 

His hand is still under your dress, hovering your breast. And before he can change his mind, before he can ruin this perfect moment, he swiftly pulls the flimsy fabric of your bra aside and lets his palm cover your exposed breast. 

Your moan is the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard--it’s raspy and breathy, even better than your laugh, even better than your silly singing voice. His entire body reacts to the sound like some sort of dog-whistle. His shoulders relax, his heart practically melts in his chest, his cock jumps, his legs tense. 

Your breasts are just as soft as he imagined they’d be--supple and wanting beneath his palm. And when he pinches your nipple, lets it pebble between his fingers, you moan again. Now he’s beginning to ache with want, growing desperate for some sort of gratification. But he’s still too afraid to make any sudden movements, like you’re an animal that’s easily spooked. 

That’s the precise moment that you reach out for the first time and tangle your hands in his hair. You’re breathing hard, eyes shut, heart racing, beads of pleasure swirling around in your belly. You’re so close to him, so achingly close, but it is not nearly enough for you. You have to touch him in more places than just your noses, have to feel him all against you and all over you. 

So you let your fingers grip those shaggy locks, bask in the little sound in his throat, try not to let tears cloud your eyes when he grows confident enough to press his knee between your legs to effectively part them. 

“Jake,” you whisper, entirely breathless as he pinches your nipple again. 

“Don’t,” he whispers, shaking his head, pressing down harder on your breasts and relishing in that sweet sound again and again.

“We shouldn’t--I can’t, you have a--we can’t…” You’re trying very hard to make sense as you speak to him but it’s proving to be very difficult, especially when he presses his naked leg up against your heat and gives you that sweet, sweet friction. 

He shakes his head again, his beer-scented breath fanning out over your face. 

“Stop talkin’,” he whispers, eyes fluttering shut. “Unless you don’t want this. Then you gotta say it. You gotta say that you don’t want it.” 

You’re silent. You want this bad--you want it so bad that your fingers are starting to tremble. You want it so bad that your mind is totally empty except for thoughts of him. You’ve already submitted entirely to him and his hands. 

“Okay,” you whisper, nodding. 

He grins, eyes still shut as he shakes his head lightly. 

“I said stop talkin’,” he whispers. 

“Sorry,” you return in the same hushed tone. 

And usually, you wouldn’t be so malleable. You wouldn’t be so easy to render silent. You wouldn’t usually be so compliant. But you feel like you’re in some sort of dream-state right now, like you’re floating between this realm and a better one, like things are finally going your way. Because as unreal as this feels, you know that it is real. You know especially when his breath puffs against your face as he laughs softly and when a laugh bubbles out of you, too. This is real; it’s you and it’s Jake. It’s his hand and your breast. It’s his leg and your clothed cunt.

He’s silent after that, just looking at your face as he kneads your breasts and rests his forehead against yours. Your eyebrows are pinched and your lip is bitten and he can see that little gap between your teeth. And he can feel how warm you are between your legs, can feel wetness gathering in your underwear as he presses his leg up against your cunt. And your fingers are softly tugging his locks as you moan quietly and all those little touches and sounds are making him painfully hard. 

All thoughts of Emmaline have dissipated entirely--not that he even thinks about her very often at all.

Your lips are so close to touching his. You can almost feel the outline of his bottom lip against your top lip, can almost feel how wet his mouth is, can almost feel how warm his tongue is. But for some reason, you’re not kissing. You’re just hovering over each other, moaning softly, panting into each other’s mouths. 

The Killing Moon by Echo & the Bunnymen is playing now.  

“Can I?” Jake asks, letting his fingers dance across your belly again and land on the band of your underwear. 

Silently, you nod. Your heart is in your throat again, beating erratically. But you want this--you know in your bones that you want this. You want it so bad that you could cry. You’re glad that you’re not totally sober, glad that you have a bit of beer loosening your joints. 

Jake is so turned on that he could explode, but he’ll be damned if he won’t savor every single moment of this. He lets his fingers slip beneath the cotton underwear and keeps a careful eye on the hitching breaths in your chest. 

He moans softly when he feels your cunt for the first time. Here is a place he has never touched you before, maybe one of the only ones. And you are perfect, he knows it without even seeing you up close. The little stubble you have there pricks his skin as he carefully slinks his way to your folds. 

You’re gripping his hair, hips bucking towards him, eyes screwed shut when he lets just his middle finger carefully part your lips. Pleasure explodes in your body, hot as a gas stove, and you have to bite down hard on your lip in fear that you’ll wake your parents up. But it feels so fucking good just having his one finger against your wetness, pressing down on your clit. 

“Fuck,” Jake whispers, shaking his head softly, shuddering. 

He’s fingered his fair share of girls--being on the baseball team has its benefits--but he’s suddenly nervous to mess this up. You’re the most perfect person he’s ever met, the most perfect person he’s ever touched. He wants you to feel good and he wants to be the one that makes you feel good. 

You, on the other hand, have never been touched here. There was that one boy at the drive-in about a year ago that got a little handsy, but he never breached the waistband of your panties. This is entirely new pleasure for you, one that feels paramount and out of your control. You’re not sure if you loathe it or love it yet, so you just rest your cheek on the bed and gasp for air like a fish out of water. 

And Jake is moving closer to you, pressing his hips against your body. You can feel how hard he is, how uncomfortable that must be. But you’re too nervous to reach down and touch him, too paralyzed with pleasure to even move at all. 

Jake is panting now. You’re so wet and silky, hips moving subtly to meet every movement of his hand. And you’re breathing so loudly, redness gathering on your chest, mouth endlessly parted. 

This still feels like a dream. 

But it’s the best dream he’s ever had. 

He moves quicker, the pace something that he knows Emmaline and the other girls have liked, and presses his nose into yours as you grip him harshly. You’re so hot, squirming beneath his fingers, moving closer and farther from him at the same time. 

You’re not necessarily uncomfortable right now, but you feel like you’re rapidly approaching it. He’s touching you almost too perfectly, going almost too fast, pressing that one spot so harshly that it’s too much. And you’ve never been touched here by him or any other man and that thought alone is making you dizzy. You feel like something is approaching rapidly, like all of this is about to come to a head, and you’re afraid of what that is. 

So you clamp your legs together, pushing yourself against his chest. He removes his hand at once, jolting back into sobriety momentously. And he’s searching your face as it pinches, as you recover from almost cumming on his fingers, as you try and catch your breath. 

“Y’alright?” He asks, shaking his head softly as you swallow hard. 

You’re hot with embarrassment now, trying desperately to get some moisture on your tongue. Jake is worried he crossed a line, worried that you didn’t want it as badly as he did. But then you’re hesitantly looking up at him, shaking your head softly, and he knows that isn’t the case.

“It--it was too good,” you whisper, pulling your dress down over your thighs as you swallow harshly again.

Jake sighs, his shoulders slumping. So you did want it--he didn’t cross a line. 

“You ever done that before?” He asks. 

You both move to prop yourselves up on your elbows, still looking at each other. Jake subtly lets his fingers air out against his shorts as you pull into yourself with your hair mussed and eyes bleary. 

“No,” you answer honestly. “Not with anyone else.” 

He nods. He didn’t know that. 

“Should’ve taken it easier on you,” he whispers. 

You’re burning under his gaze, squeezing your thighs together as aftershocks of pleasure ricochet through your still-taut body. 

“Maybe,” you whisper. 

Then it’s quiet for a moment. 

Jake’s still trying to gather his thoughts and you’re still trying to get your heartrate back down. Both of you are in a state of disbelief, reeling at how quickly that all went and how sudden it was.

Neither of you will ask what it meant. Neither of you will tell the other that it isn’t just hormones and alcohol that made you feel the way you did just a few minutes ago. You’re both stubborn people and your boots are faster than your brains. Neither of you are the admitting type, especially when it comes to big things that matter. 

Because for Jake, the worst thing that could happen is that he hurts you. He says something dumb and he makes you cry or he does something you don’t like. And maybe you’ll forgive him, but you probably won’t because you don’t like to forgive people. He wants to be on your good side for the rest of his days. And if he fucks up and tells you that he is in love with you and that every other girl he’s ever touched has just been a temporary fix, he’s afraid that it will frighten and hurt you. 

And for you, the worst thing that could happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way you do. You’ve been in love with him for so long that the feeling has almost become a part of your personality. You are hopelessly in love with his shaggy hair and his stupid calloused fingers and his laugh and the dimple in his left cheek and the hair on his legs and the way he looks when he rides his bike. And if he didn’t feel that way about you then you would be turned inside out.   

“Do you want me to leave?” Jake asks softly.

He had planned on staying before it all happened, planning on crashing on your bed and waking up in a few hours to walk home to shower before church in the morning. But now he isn’t so sure.  

He’s blinking at you, wishing that the two of you were still touching. He’s bracing himself for your answer, bracing himself for that stiffness in your limbs and the bitterness in your tone when you tell him to get out. 

But none of that ever comes, none of that ever happens. 

You shake your head, your eyes soft and your lips parted. 

“No,” you tell him. “Stay.” 

And, really, it’s the most vulnerable thing you’ve said. Your mind is still clouded with a billion different words and thoughts and worries. What had he thought of the way your cunt felt against his finger? Had he wanted you to touch him? Is he just drunk right now? Had you really dreamt the whole ordeal? Was it going to happen again? Was he going to say anything about it? But you will never ask these things to him and it’s because you’re far too afraid that he will answer.  

“Okay,” he tells you. 

He’ll stay.

It’s something between awkward and familiar as you two settle back down on the bed together. You’re lying close to each other, which you always do anyway, but now there’s a hesitance on either end.

He’s looking into your eyes, trying to gauge what you feel, trying to figure out what the right thing to say is. But nothing is coming to his busy mind, no words are biting at his lips. So he just leans forward slightly and rests his forehead against yours. 

For right now, it’s enough for both of you. Just to have that point of connection, just to touch skin against skin, just to know that the other feels the staleness in the air too--it makes you both sigh into the bed. Even with all these unspoken minutes and actions between the two of you, all these confusing little moments, the both of you accept this small touch.  

You move a little bit closer to him and he moves his arm to rest across your body, which is a familiar motion. He weighs you against the bed and you sigh into his mouth. Your breath still smells like cigarettes and beer. 

“I’m breakin’ up with her tomorrow,” Jake says as your eyes flutter shut. 

He’s still watching your face, watching the way it finally goes slack in the pink light of your bedroom. You barely react, just nod very softly.

If you were braver, you’d say why? If you were braver, you’d say good.  

But instead you just whisper, “Okay.”

Neither of you are certain what the morning will hold. But Jake’s holding you and your arousal is dried on his fingers and there’s finally saliva on your tongue and you know you’ll be okay. At least for right now, you’ll be okay. 

Just as you fall asleep, crossing that threshold of dreamland with a rapid pace that always sparks envy in Jake’s belly, he leans forward and dusts his lips against your nose. Just the very tip of it, that warm place that he’s kissed before. And you don’t move at all, barely even to breathe. Then he falls asleep, too, letting his forehead rest against yours. 

Neither of you stir once.  

✯ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

✯ 𝐩𝐢𝐧��𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝

✯ 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

✯ 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: @hazyretina @violetta-ximena @illicithallways @winterrebel04 @chicomonks

[dumfanting]

Lost and Found, ch 3

Chapter 2

Inspired by: Still Life

AO3 Link

Rating: M, mature

Warnings: Imperial Inquisitors, choking, lightsaber duel, stabbing, death (of a nameless character)

Notes: Fem reader, second person PoV, present tense

1498 words

It’s been a while! With my main fic finished, I now have time/energy to continue my smaller series, starting back up with this one. Enjoy!

F! Reader/ Nax (the clone veteran)

You realize who the other person is, you’ve been avoiding their group for years. An Imperial Inquisitor.

———

Nax pushes through the crowd without slowing down, and you can’t see him very well, but you’re able to follow him as he runs away from you, Sensing him as he goes. You ignore the curses and insults of the people you also push past, focused entirely on him. After moving up a single block, someone large knocks you over and you fall, hard, onto the pavement. You scramble to your feet, pausing only to pick up the trooper’s helmet and clip it to your belt, then continue moving through the throng of people in the street. You soon realize that you’ve lost sight of Nax completely.

You let loose a low growl of frustration and break free of the crowd, but stop abruptly when you find yourself in a narrow, deserted alley. Pausing to catch your breath, you focus, and you can faintly Sense Nax, but you have no idea where he’s gone. You glance behind you, but you don’t see anyone being pushed out of place, so you assume he’s continued moving ahead of you, further down the alley. You tighten your grip on your lightsaber in your pocket, take a deep breath, and start running again.

Much to your irritation, you can’t move as quickly as you need to; the ground is slick from puddles of used oil and Maker knows what else, on top of crates and waste bins blocking your path. Nax is now so far away that you can’t Sense him anymore, and in an act of desperation, you Force-push the obstacles in the alley out of your way, continuing forward.

You hear a sudden clattering and the loud sound of someone in pain, and your heart sinks as you imagine the worst. Your legs are burning from exertion and your lungs feel like they’re on fire, but you continue to push yourself toward the source of the sound. There’s another holler, and you can faintly hear voices as you get closer.

“You belong to the galactic empire, and deserters will be executed,” someone says, and Nax cries out in pain again.

On the verge of panic, you turn a corner and find someone dressed head to toe in black, including a helmet. They’re raising an arm and Force-pushing Nax against a wall as he grabs at his throat. You realize who the other person is, you’ve been avoiding their group for years. An Imperial Inquisitor. They yank their arm backward and Nax collapses, gasping and coughing, onto his knees.

The Inquisitor ignites their distinctive red light saber, but before they can swing it, you ignite your own, and all thoughts of self preservation leave your mind as you practically leap in front of Nax, blocking the Inquisitor's glowing blade, only inches from Nax’s throat, with your own.

“Well, what do we have here? Another traitor, hiding like a coward,” the Inquisitor says, sounding both amused and disgusted. They’ve moved close enough to your face that you can smell their rancid breath.

“Get the fuck away from him,” you growl, then Force-push them backwards by several feet.

They laugh arrogantly and step into a dueling stance. You do the same, and after a few seconds of you two staring each other down, the Inquisitor side-steps and swings their blade towards you. You block it, and the fight begins. The light sabers flash as they collide, their distinct hums turning into shrieks as you continue to block the attacks, while the green and red lights throw bizarre, distorted shadows around you.

You remain defensive, but your lack of practice is starting to take its toll on you. Your stamina is shot, and the Inquisitor’s blade barely misses your nose as you jerk away from them at the last second. They’re laughing again, and step back while saying something about how old and slow you’ve become. You take this as an opportunity to go on the offensive, and you manage to knock their helmet off. They look down the alley at it, surprised, but quickly recover and, in a blind rage, lunge toward you again, swinging wildly.

As this is happening, Nax is able to scramble out of the way and get back on his feet. You notice the movement out of the corner of your eye and glance back at him, momentarily distracted. The Inquisitor uses this against you and knocks your weapon out of your hand, sending it skidding down the alley before it comes to a stop at Nax’s feet and shuts off. They then kick your legs out from under you, and you land hard onto your back, knocking the wind out of you.

Before you can do anything else, they hold you in place with a foot on your chest. They shift forward, putting more of their weight onto your sternum, and you raise a hand, hoping to Force-push them off of you, but to no avail. They lean more weight onto you and Force your body into complete stillness. You can barely move your head, and even that takes an incredible amount of effort.

You fight to turn your head and you see Nax standing at an intersection where this alley meets another, holding your inert saber in his shaking hands. You meet his eyes, and gasp out for him to run, but he hesitates.

“Get the hell out of here!” you shout, and he quickly turns his back on you and runs down the left side of the intersection. Your attention is forced back onto the Inquisitor when you feel the heat of their lightsaber blade, hovering only inches from you and aimed right between your eyes.

“Foolish Jedi. Willing to die for someone who’s abandoned you? Such nobility. And such a waste. I’ll catch him and make sure he rots with you,” the Inquisitor says, venom dripping in their tone as they crouch down to your level. “Any last words, scum?” they say.

You spit in their face.

The Inquisitor curses at you, then stands to their full height, their saber poised and ready to swing downwards. You watch them, refusing to look away and accepting your death, unafraid, with open eyes. They growl at you, then barely move before they suddenly choke and freeze.

You both look down and see that a green lightsaber blade has pierced their chest from behind, spearing them through the heart. The Inquisitor looks back down at you, confused, and when the green blade retracts, they collapse to one side, their own saber deactivating when they hit the ground with a hard thud.

Their hold on you vanishes and you quickly scramble away from them, backing yourself against a wall. You tear your gaze away from their body when you feel eyes watching you. You jerk your head up and find Nax kneeling before you with an odd mix of relief and fear on his face.

He stands, then takes your trembling hands and pulls you back to your feet. He realizes that he’s still holding your lightsaber, and after he hands it back to you, you return his helmet to him. You look into each other’s eyes, but before either of you can say anything, you suddenly hear what sounds like multiple people’s footsteps running in your direction as someone shouts.

Nax, still holding one of your hands, moves immediately, dragging you behind him. If you had been on your own, you would have easily gotten lost in the maze of alleyways, but Nax is all too familiar with the backside of the city and leads you effortlessly through them. Eventually, after running for so long that you think your legs are going to give out, he abruptly stops.

Gasping for breath, you look around and find yourself at the boarded up rear entrance of a long-abandoned warehouse. The area is completely deserted, save for a stray Tooka wandering around. You have little time to really examine your surroundings before Nax slides a large sheet of corrugated metal to one side and carefully leads you through the small gap that opens up.

Once you’re both inside, he just as carefully moves it back into place. From the alley outside, your presence is completely undetectable, but you both stand frozen and silent while waiting to hear if anyone has followed you. After about a minute with no change in the ambient noise, you both relax enough to breathe a sigh of relief.

You look over at Nax and find him staring at you as if he’s just met The Maker himself. He takes a cautious step closer to you, his shaking hand reaching for your face, but he suddenly pulls it back. He says your name, and his voice is raspy, but it’s still familiar enough to send a heavy ache through your chest.

“You… You’re alive,” he says, his dark eyes wide in shock.

“I thought you were dead,” you respond, and your voice is just as shaky as your hands.

You both ask “How?” at the same time.

Taglist: @kaminocasey @madameminor @jennamelinda12 @arctrooper69 @the-cantina @jedi-hawkins @the-rain-on-kamino @savebytheodoresnonjosestuff @nulintakan

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[devouredbyflame]

Can Deities read every thought we have? It occurred to me that the Deity I’ve been praying to could probably hear what I’m thinking and since then I swear the worst shit pops into my head. I mean I don’t flatter myself They’re always paying attention, but if I was already feeling Their presence, or if the nasty thought was about Them, i feel like it could attract their attention. I apologize and try to explain when it’s just a random thought that formed because my brain likes to generate the worst things it can, but I feel like that’s a shitty excuse

I am not entirely sure how much the Gods hear from us but I do know that They don’t take precedent of our thoughts unless They are mentioned. It is my understanding that, unless you are within the range of proximity to Them, They likely cannot get more details than the general overview of information from your life.

There’s blindspots - like perhaps They know what is going on in your life, but They don’t have any context for it unless They were physically manifesting around you in various ways and that typically still warrants blindspots because They don’t know everything about us all of the time.

Even if They did, if They were worth Their weight, They wouldn’t care to be listening to your thoughts all day everyday unless you specifically talked to Them and invoked Them by saying Their name. Otherwise, it’s likely They aren’t paying that close attention to you unless, as I said, They are physically present in a way that They are manifesting within you or another person through possessory work or anything akin to channeling and etc. and I don’t believe most people have that capacity much less have it every waking hour of their life unless there is already an agreement in place. And those agreements come with lengthy conversations about boundaries and expectations.

Regardless, They don’t really care for you speaking insults about Them. I don’t think They are standing over you with a clip board, marking off each and every concern or thought you have. They are not the Christian God and do not police those sorts of things and there is no punishment for thinking less than savory thoughts about your Deity.

If it’s any consolation, I have hurled curses and insults at Loki because He does awful things sometimes and I don’t understand them until after it’s already passed. But yet, we’re married and we have a pretty solid relationship. He respects my privacy even though we work very intensely together and even though I do possessory work with Him, He doesn’t pick apart my brain and analyze my thoughts. That would be paranoia and also anxiety that is unwarranted. Regardless, He has earned my trust that even if He does pick up on something less than savory about Him, He knows that it wouldn’t be okay to discuss until I am ready.

Also something to be aware of is that They don’t always have an issue with certain things. They aren’t listening all the time and They don’t concern Themselves with small stuff that doesn’t determine anything beyond intruding thoughts. If you’re angry, annoyed, or upset at your Deity, it doesn’t bother Them and it can also be helpful in considering how to move forward in your relationship with Them. It’s better to communicate your issues flat out to Them intentionally than to assume They know what you’re talking about. They don’t know everything. They know pieces of information we don’t always have available, but the nuances are very fragmented is my understanding.

I hope that makes sense anon. Probably way more information as always but I hope you have a better understanding now.

[synonymouswithanonymous]

reblog with updates!

As always skip if uninterested, to repeat, not talking about all fans when I use "you/their" just the extreme haters of the hate train (whomever called it that was right). I'm just going to reblog this every so often!! There's so many lies about this woman, and a ton of baseless irrational and ridiculous hate. So here are SOME of the lies told about Johanne Milland, lies told bc her haters are jealous and mad she's dating their celebrity crush. Misogyny is real.

kajaklaudia122 asked:

What lies? Could you justify and give some precise examples. I'm curious 🙂

synonymouswithanonymous answered:

where to begin? I've written about loads of them. Mistranslating her words. I've said that one repeatedly. As I've said before some people have created fictions in their heads and hardcore believe these lies they're spewing. A whole list of pure speculation, presented as facts (another post).

Claiming she's got *insert multiple medical disorders as an insult* How would we know of anything other than what she's talked about? You can't diagnose over social media clips. It's just more lies. Lies designed to make her look bad.

Claiming she's abusive behind closed doors. How would we know? This is speculative lying to further claim she's "bad" etc.

Claiming to know "their real timeline" when all we have is speculation, they want to say shes a cheater. That's clear character assassination, by creating a lie, and repeating it a lot, to try to make her look bad. Or make him look bad by calling him a homewrecker. Just claiming to know a timeline of a life you don't know or live, is a lie by itself.

Claiming she's not a real survivor of abuse, or uses it to further her career is not only twisted, but again creating a fiction to rail at her, just bc you don't like her is a cruel, unsympathetic lie.

Claiming she's manipulating him, as if anyone outside his real life would know? People are claiming this as fact, like they have proof. No there's literally no proof, just opinions. To claim this as a fact is a bold face lie.

That she pushed him into revealing their relationship before he was ready. As if we could know? To create fiction just bc you don't like her, is a lie. He'd been spotted out with her before April.

I made a whole post about how haters claim she "chains" him to her side, and he never gets to see friends, family or work. These are lies. From several pictures and projects, this is an outright misrepresentation of the truth. And also, again, just bc it's not posted and we don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening. But clearly he isn't chained at her side lol.

Trying to twist everything she does from cupcakes to war, into Something to justify calling her an evil leech worm etc. Is a type of lying imo to force a narrative designed to hurt her.

Example: That her ladybug book video was her "flipping off the fans." Now that's just a ridiculous twisting of a video.

That she's "mocking the mentally disabled" by "talking funny", she was speaking Norwegian. That by dancing she was doing the same. These are horrible abusive lies to try to spread around about someone. That was repeated quite a bit, they were serious. Again, speaking another language and dancing on a red carpet? This makes someone want to spread malicious lies about her that she's mocking the disabled bc they don't like she's dating AHA. Don't get me started on the stereotypes about the disabled that that person wants to perpetuate. And I'll also point out, when this popped up the first time, a fan with 1994 in their name was openly mocked for liking Johanne. Their malicious ridicule of that person, still bothers me. But that's gone off topic.

To say she was pissed at a premiere before they revealed themselves, by the "look" on her face. Maybe they saw different clips, bc the ones I saw only the back of her head was seen. So not sure how her facial expression was "glaring" lol. So more lies.

They want to act like she's jealous of him being around other people, even coworkers, lol, this makes no sense. Zero sense, no proof. But this is how haters want to portray her bc they want to make her a villain.

Extra sidenote: They post about their fantasies of her committing acts of self harm. This is twisted, surely this isn't "be the change you want to see in the world"? Self harm isn't funny, disorders are not punchlines and insults. This is taking your jealously too far. Not only should things like that not be written, they shouldn't be published. When people write to me and say things like that about these haters, I don't publish it. And I tell them I do NOT think it is ever ok to have those types of fantasies about anyone, let alone someone you don't know. I don't condone that kind of sick BS. And it is sick.

Literally the only factual truths we have are these, they are a couple, they live together, they say they love each other, they're vacationing in Italy. They're both actors. Those are facts, bc they just exist without interpretation. Now if you're not one of the ones who genuinely believe everything they're saying about her, then I'm glad. You understand we don't know them in reality. I'm more of a benefit of the doubt, easy going person. I like her and she seems great to me. But will we ever know if either one of them is as nice as they appear to be? Nope.

That's just off the top of my head, we could debate the laws of the art world etc but meh. I don't really care one way or the other where someone draws inspiration. From pastiche, fair use, fan fiction, gifs, whatever, just be creative how you want to be. So I guess calling her an art thief would be a lie also, by laws definition she's not (made a post about art, links to laws) . I like Weird Al too, he's hilarious lol. I could see fair point, if someone morally disagrees with the practice, but it's not imo a big deal.

And to add another:

Also I think the idea that she should sit quietly in a corner, invisible, so that her light never shines at all bc doing so dims his light is misogynistic. That she should just never post anything bc it's "torture" for them is immature jealousy. Why should someone with her longstanding awesome career since 2016, with her talent, her looks, should be silent bc some fans of her boyfriend, think she should go sit quietly in a corner never to be seen (I've read that exact sentiment many times). It's misogyny and immature jealously, with a fringe of zero understanding about their industry and what it takes to survive and thrive in it.

There's a reason he liked the comment with "insufferable fans" in the comment, in response to people calling his GF "toxic."

But if being the kind of person that enjoys calling a woman none of us know, "leech/whore/bitch/worm/toxic narc etc etc etc then that's who they are. Or calling her ugly, fat, flabby (more lies she's what 125lbs max?). And more, then I guess that's the "change they want to see in the world." Personally, I think people should be kind about others, put their petty jealous rage to the side, and just support each other. Be happy for people, celebrate their success. Be happy they are happy. Women should support each other too, not tear them down. So I'll just reblog this, so the ridiculous lies can just keep getting exposed. 😊😊 anyways have a happy sunday to those that made it this far lol!!!

[tofautisawa]

Hello‚ KuraMonody's author here. First of all thanks for mentioning Hasani in that hyena character post, it made me really happy :3

I wanted to jump in this lion "discourse" because I'm salty haha. I only have watched a few clips of My Pride but never fully watched because I picked up some red flags even before the drama came out so I'm surprised it was promoted as "realistic" lion media. I Hope So handles the same concept way better I think.

I'm getting off track here‚ what I wanted to say is‚ when it comes to lion media I think people tend to be obsessed with the idea that it should be 100% realistic even if what they believe is actually fake. If people belive MP is accurate then they will stick to MP. There's a pattern to this‚ with TLK for example‚ there's this wild belief that Scar/ Mufasa's is 100% Nala father or that Scar should be the atractive one of the brothers even tho those movies are about singing lions and you can tell it's purely fictional‚ but for some reason people are convinced some stuff should be super accurate to real life.

Then there's the fake widely known facts. I got a bunch of comments about how male lions don't hunt even tho they DO and they were nomads so it's logical that they would hunt. People tend to have those facts as completely true‚ just like saying hyenas are pure scavengers or something. Also they once forget things can be different in xenofiction.

I think another problem that contributes to the Tau slander is that the lion is a symbol of strenght. The King of the Jungle‚ all that thing. Is such an ideolized animal that people just get pissy when someone like Tau gets introduced. It also doesn't help that sensitive‚ anxious and shy male characters are seen as weak and not desirable which is totally stupid. I have watched a lot of comments insulting male characters like that‚ also complaining about why a strong girl would like that kind of male character even tho having a good heart should be enough. So between Tau being a lion and a shy male character‚ he gets double hate.

This is all kinda sad honestly.

Thanks for reading all of this if you did‚ I only have a fandom account so that's why Im going anon. I had to spit out my frustration.

Yo! I had to mention Hasani, he is such a cute character. I love him!

As for the whole realism stuff, I think people consider My Pride as "realistic" is mostly because of how brutal it can be if you ignore the advertising. Whenever fans defend the "realism", they mostly mention the infanticide and act like people can't question it's inclusion or think it doesn't make sense considering the circumstances and kind of ignore everything else. I seen this a lot with DetectiveCalico's review of the show as well as one of the shitposts of Proud killing the cubs while the lionesses shrug. Personally, I am not bothered by the fact that infantcide was included in the story in general ( and also I would be a massive fucking hypocrite if I did), but mostly on HOW it's presented in the story that bugs me more than anything.

I honestly don't care if things aren't 100% realistic ( I'm not 17 anymore) because let's face it, you HAVE to take liberties in order to tell a story. I try to get as much accurate behavior and information as I can in my comic because hyenas are some amazing creatures, but it's not gonna be 100% realistic because let's face it, a lot of shit that happens in Tofauti Sawa wouldn't happen in real life and I have kind of broken out of certain things over the years because I am not nearly as jaded as I used to be. Tofauti Sawa is actually the only story I want to do that operates like this. But I feel like if you are gonna have a completely fantasy story like My Pride that features things like actual goddesses, curses, and lion gods controlling the weather-the creator really should act like this is some grounded realistic story because it isn't but you have now bought attention to how the lions and their behavior is gonna be portrayed and people will most likely point it out when it's incorrect. I think this is pretty much why I tend to rag on The Lion Guard whenever it tries to be educational but would then get it's information incorrect. "Common Knowledge really." is so funny when Ono says something wrong. lol

(I had another whole ass example right here but decided to remove it because this post is getting too long.)

Though I must point out no matter what, people will often question things in universe or point out things related to the real life animal to how they are shown in fiction- it's pretty unavoidable but I don't think a majority of people are being malicious about it and treat it more like trivia than anything at least I hope. Like how Clownfish work in comparison to Finding Nemo for example. Some people will mention that while also being aware that there is no fucking way they are gonna put parent-child incest in this movie for the sake of "realism".

And honestly, I never really thought of Tau's species being a contributing factor to the whole thing other than the whole "role" aspect of it all. So that is another interesting way to look at it.

But yeah, thank you so much for your insight and input on the matter and keep up good work with the comic!

[knickynoo]

Back to the Future: The Animated Series, s01ep06 "Go Fly a Kite" Review and Commentary

Link to previous episodes HERE

You know, I'm really having a blast writing up these posts. A big thank you to those of you who are reading these. Glad you're enjoying them.

In this episode: Electricity ceases to exist because Verne thinks he's adopted. Also, Marty is the Smart One for 2 and a half seconds.

We get a fun little surprise in this episode, which starts with a clip from the first BTTF film! It's a quick one, but we get to see the lightning striking the clock tower and Marty traveling back to 1985. Prior to this, we haven't gotten any footage from the movies woven into the episodes, so that's neat. Of course, its inclusion is due to electricity playing a big role in today's episode.

After the clip, we go to Real Doc in his lab, who continues to barely blink during these segments. If you've been keeping up with these posts, you're aware of my concern for Animated Series Real Doc. He's like Movie Doc but turned up 5 or 6 extra notches. There is a frantic, crazed air about him that isn't present in Movie Doc. A tangible sense of "some sort of fuse has blown in this man's brain" that I can't quite put my finger on, but it is there. Animated Series Real Doc is bananas.

I think—I think that Doc needs to go on a vacation. A nice, calm, relaxing vacation to a tropical island where he can sit on the beach and listen to seagulls and waves crashing. He needs to de-stress.

Real Doc tells us about Benjamin Franklin inventing the lightning rod, and how he was actually present on the night Franklin did his kite experiment. This brings us into the cartoon portion of the episode.

Jules and Verne are playing some sort of high-tech board game, complete with little holograph versions of themselves traveling around the board. Jules wins, and we see a tally chart indicating he's won the game 35 times, while Verne has won only once. When Verne asks how Jules always manages to win, Jules replies, "Face it, Verne, you lack the basic intellectual skills one would naturally expect in a member of the Brown lineage." He goes on to say that Verne isn't good at science and that he doesn't resemble their mother or father. While he's piling on all these insults, Verne is hitting a punching bag that has a picture of Jules drawn on it.

Jules says the logical conclusion is that Verne is adopted. Clara calls the boys to come eat then, to which Jules turns to his brother and says, "Ah, that would be my biological mother. Would you care to join my family for dinner?" He is being terrible. Poor Vernie.

Jules goes on to point out that there's a mysterious lack of baby pictures of Verne. "For all we know, you might even be a Tannen," he says, which makes Verne storm out of the treehouse in his little motorized car.

Meanwhile, Doc is in his lab putting the finishing touches on a new invention. It's a contraption that's powered by a mini flux capacitor and allows him to take a photograph of any person throughout history just by inputting a few pieces of information. ??? I don't. I don't really understand how this would work or what the point is, but ok, Doc. Also, Einstein is wearing those gloves that give him human hands again.

I find this to be unsettling and unnecessary.

Doc is just about to test the device (having decided to take a picture of Benjamin Franklin) when Verne comes flying into the room, demanding to know if he's a Tannen or not. When he mentions not having any baby pictures, Doc then goes to type Verne's name and birthdate onto the screen but is interrupted by an alarm that signals it's time for dinner. (I like the idea of Clara activating a big blinking light and a siren to signal Doc to COME EAT. That sounds like something that would happen.)

Left alone in the lab, Verne sits on the device's keypad and activates it. Because Doc had previously typed in "Ben Franklin" and then followed it with Verne's name, the device combines the two pieces of information and prints out a photo of the two of them. The result is a picture of Benjamin Franklin holding Verne as a baby. Naturally, Verne assumes this means that Ben Franklin is his real father.

We briefly visit the Brown kitchen then, where Clara is serving dinner. She stops Doc before he can reach for the food, and is like, "Aren't we forgetting something?" (she wants him to wash his hands) and I must include Doc's full response because it is. Something.

"Yes, yes. I should launder the epidermal surface of my upper forelimbs' terminal components, utilizing a perfumed block of rendered animal fat." That is TWENTY-TWO words just to say, "Right, I should wash my hands." Doc is so extra.

Verne steals the DeLorean and travels to 1752 to meet his "real dad", and he manages to interrupt Ben Franklin's kite experiment. This then causes all lights and forms of electricity to go out in the present day since Franklin never made his discovery. Marty soon arrives at the Brown residence, having concluded that every single light going out in town must be Doc's fault somehow. Very good conclusion, Marty.

The family gets a video message from Verne—Doc has begun to convert some of the house to run on steam, which is how the video goes through—where he says goodbye to them and that he's off to be with his real father. Jules admits that he's to blame for putting the idea in Verne's head, and we learn Jules's full name as Clara angrily says it: Jules Eratosthenes Brown.

Doc laments that now Verne is lost in time with no way for them to know where he went, but Marty knows just what to do! He rewinds the video, enlarges the image, and zooms in to see the date and location programmed onto the time circuits. "Marty, you're a genius!" Doc exclaims, then grabbing Marty in a too-tight hug. (I am glad Marty's getting a moment to show his intelligence here because 1. he deserves some recognition and 2. he's been an utter bonehead thus far in this cartoon)

Marty, desperately attempting to escape Doc's affection.

Marty, Doc, and Einie take off for 1752, where they proceed to chase Verne all around. Eventually, Verne comes across a large building that has a clock tower, and he decides climbing up to the top will be a good place to hide from his "fake dad" (aka Doc).

Upon reaching the top, Verne accidentally knocks over some building materials on the roof, sending lots of bricks and pieces of metal crashing to the ground. When Doc sees the crash and resulting pile of rubble, he fears that Verne has also fallen and is buried beneath it. He starts shouting for people nearby to help, but they don't seem particularly eager.

"Don't you get it?! This is my little boy I'm talking about!" Doc says to them. "My son! My own flesh and blood! He might be hurt!"

It's all very sweet, and the words of love even reach their way all the way up to Vernie, who is listening from a ladder.

Listen. I have such a soft spot for Verne Brown. This cartoon overall is bonkers, but I really like his character a lot. He is so wildly different from the rest of the Brown family, but he and Doc have such a special bond that adds to this show. I love this scene and how he's instantly moved to tears at hearing how distraught Doc is.

Verne decides that anyone who loves him that much must be his real father, and he calls to Doc from the top of the clock tower. Unfortunately, he slips and ends up hanging off the building. Hmm...what other Brown has done this before?

Doc scrambles to the roof and takes Verne by the hand, but then Doc slips and they're both dangling from the clock. Marty and Einie arrive, and they come up with a plan to rescue Doc and Verne. I should clarify, actually, that it's Einstein who comes up with the plan. He barks, and Marty goes, "Great idea!" and runs to follow him. They fly the time train by just as Doc and Verne fall, catching them safely inside.

With that crisis averted, they now have to deal with the other one: Ben Franklin's lightning experiment being interrupted. Seeing as the sky is clear, they must "create" a storm of their own, which Doc does by creating a lot of smoke via the train, having Verne spray a hose out the window, simulating thunder by banging on a pot, and creating lighting with some sort of device that generates large amounts of static electricity. It makes Marty's hair look very silly.

He has to crank the machine while holding onto Doc, who is dangling out of the train (Doc has to aim where the bolt of lightning will go). That's right. Marty is supporting all of Doc's weight just by holding him with one hand. More evidence for my "Marty has superhuman strength" theory.

The plan is executed successfully, and we return to 1991, where all the lights turn back on. Unfortunately, Clara had to break apart and burn every chair in order to run the stove while the guys were gone, so they're all reduced to sitting around and eating on the floor.

We end the cartoon with this sweet family togetherness moment, and then we get back to Real Doc. *throws confetti*

The live-action segment begins with a lab full of Hawaiian shirts hanging on a clothesline because Doc evidently decided to do some laundry while the cartoon was happening, and he lost track of time. After getting himself back on track, he uses some socks to demonstrate static electricity. He's still not blinking.

After Bill Nye shows us a do-at-home experiment using socks and balloons, we return to Doc, who gives us perhaps the best example of static electricity because his hair looks like THIS

He goes on to tell us that he has to look his best for tonight because he's meeting Clara for dinner. Which is adorable. I love that they have special little date nights together. I wonder if Marty babysits Jules and Verne while Doc and Clara go out. I hope Doc didn't look in a mirror and met up with Clara at a nice restaurant looking like that.

Overall, I enjoyed this episode. It's definitely the most heartfelt one so far in the series, and I like that it really shows us a glimpse of what a loving, dedicated father Doc is. I do, however, feel like it's also the least funny episode so far—which makes sense given the plot, of course. But it didn't leave a lot of room for me to make funny commentary. :(

Join me next time as I skip episode 7 entirely and jump to 8 instead because episode 7 is so weird and bad that I don't want to put myself through having to write a post about it.

[fukuokanodivision]

”Enough with this disorder! Let’s mix things up a little…”

Introduction Yuno Kamora [Known as “Kiiro” in rap battles], Is a 4th generation butler-for-hire in the Kamora family. Presenting a well mannered facade and courteous behaviour, He’s just the right person to handle tough situations. With the next DRB on the horizon, He’s turning out to be way more than a “useless card” in OverDrives standard deck of attacks/defences & support.

Yuno is a young man of above average height with a trapezoid figure. He has gold eyes and blond hair neatly framing his face. He wears a charcoal dress shirt topped over a black/grey suit jacket. His lower body is covered with black dress pants with golden details and a golden wrap out the left side. He wears blackened dress shoes with white socks. For accessories, He wears a gold bracer on his left arm with an electric blue music note clip. Name Meanings *Yuno [湯の] - Hot Water *Kamora - Malagasy For “Chameleon” Aliases *Yuno = Eko *Yuno-chin = Mai *Ore = Pronoun *Jinn Biographical Info Gender = Male Age = 27 Birthday = September 24th Ethnicity = Japanese/Malagasy Hair Colour = Blond Eye Colour = Gold Height = 175cm/5’9 Weight = 84kg Star Sign = Libra Markings = Hypertrophic Scars Piercings = 1 Earring On Right Ear Family = *Mother *Father [Incarcerated] *Grandparents *Older Brother *Older Sister Voiced By = Gakuto Kajiwara [Rapping] Fun Facts MC Name = Kiiro Occupation = Butler-for-hire Division = Fukuoka Team = OverDrive Position = 3rd Member Favourite Food = Soda Least Favourite Food = Sour Candies Likes = *Children *Hanging With Teammates *Lightly Spoiling Others *Pushing Forward In DRB Dislikes = *Threats On The Weak *Being “Worthless” *Arguments *Threatening Divisions [Particularly Silent Tradegy] *Criminals *Backlash/Liars Hypnosis Microphone Yuno’s Microphone is a grey olden mic on a stand with a vintage colour scheme. His Speaker takes the form of a faint ghost silhouette, Presumably of his father in a gold tint behind bars. Similarly to Mai’s speaker, The ghost strikes according to Yuno’s rapping. A few speakers are lined on the bars and across the silhouettes body. His rap ability Shuffle allows him to revert any attacks [side effects] on himself/his teammates, leaving opponents abilities harmless for the rest of the battle. This ability can be used multiple times and on any opponent, Though it depletes Yuno’s stamina after each use. Yuno’s raps centre around the value he has as a member of OverDrive. His raps Mainly speak about being seen as a support card and how he’s able to “break out of his prison.” He compares himself to a Graced Angel who’s been forgiven for his sins and will promise to make the world a better place [mentioning his father and how he will take his place to keep the bloodline.] Personality For exterior, Yuno is a well mannered and calm individual. Often acting mostly selfless to others, It goes to show he’s well liked among families [especially children] around Fukuoka. But, His interior is a little surprising. Despite retaining his relaxed demeanour, There can be times he intends to play dirty. Not intentionally, Minor loathing about other divisions comes out of his mouth, when it comes to veteran/threatening divisions to OverDrives mission. Not only that, He tends to slightly carry a few insults along the way to prove he isn’t some “worthless support card.” One thing he excessively loathes is criminals. He believes it isn’t fair to let people walk without punishment. Not only does this reflect love for his father [who’s falsely convicted], it also points at his interaction with others. Maybe most divisions are more powerful than his team, however he refuses to let any walk away. Whenever criminals are present in OverDrives battles, Yuno is set on locking them away. Background Born to Kiyomi and Itsuki Kamora, Yuno had a slow childhood with his grandparents Wataru and Haori Kamora and siblings Shu and Zaria Kamora. Days after his fathers arrest, the Kamora name was in backlash of “territorial acts.” Yuno’s appointments were short with parents making excuses not to let him see their children. Not only that, children who believed that were quick to assault him aggressively and swear him to be taken in by the devil. Being OverDrives final member, his patience usually runs thin with other contestants. Aside from criminals, he also dislikes liars and promises to unearth them and their pasts [Via “Kamora Files.”] Trivia

[saffronapplemanga]

Let's Talk AI Art

I've seen the famous, "I strongly feel that this is an insult to life itself" quote from Hayao Miyazaki. However, I've never seen the full context for that quote. After I saw this video, I just... wow.

I don't know what possessed me but I wrote a whole post about it.

I haven't been super vocal about this topic since I didn't really have much to add to what everyone was already saying. Also, I was marinating on my opinion after learning more and hearing both sides.

This is going to sound cheesy but it's true, so here goes nothing. Art is inherently human. It’s one of the earliest forms of human expression and communication.

I think about this cave painting every day. I mean, look at the line weights, proportions, and composition. The way just a few lines can convey an image and life experiences of the artist.

I don't know Miyazaki that well and some people have the impression that he's a grumpy, nihilistic old man. Whether you love or hate him, that’s not what I’m here to talk about today. Just what’s in this video. His comments could be interpreted as very harsh. Personally, looking at this video, I think he's just critically thinking here. Whether he's right or not aside for a moment, it’s clear he's given it decent thought (which seems to be much more than the presenters themselves but more on that later). I took it as he just feels so passionately about art and he was watching something that was painful. Something that is the antithesis of art.

"We humans are losing faith in ourselves." Why are we trying to automate the things that make us human and life worth living? Watching the presentation gave me the ick and felt so soulless, and not because they suggested it could be used in a zombie game.

The presenter says, "We don't mean to do anything by showing to the world." And there’s the problem.

This is a short clip with snippets of the meeting, but from what’s shown, the whole time they were presenting I kept thinking, “Okay but where are you going with this?” Then Suzuki says, "So, what is your goal?" and I was like, that's what I'm saying! They seem to struggle to respond and say, "We would like to build a machine that can draw pictures like humans." Okay... but why? There are plenty of humans out there that already draw. Then what?

It’s more accessible than ever, it just requires effort like most things, contrary to popular belief.

It needs to be “should” before “could”

People need to sit down and have an honest conversation with themselves about why. As someone who's honestly tired of having to constantly explain why I do what I do and why I care about the things I care about, I'm not saying you have to explain yourself to justify anything. But at least within yourself, you should know or at least be looking for that answer. You don't owe anyone an explanation but yourself (the presenters kind of have to because... they're presenting their work and need to talk about it, but you know what I mean). Of course, doing something just because you want to is valid. Not everything needs to be profound and deep, but you have a responsibility to consider the consequences of your actions. Let's take a moment to consider if something should be explored and make efforts to prepare precautions in an effort to prevent adverse effects.

Not everything needs to or should be automated. There’s a world of difference between using technology to produce more of a product for the sake of increasing profit versus using it to make safer working conditions. Mundane jobs or those that could be automated, shouldn’t be. This is exacerbated under capitalism where the only goal is to exponentially increase profit and there's a lack of a safety net for the most vulnerable.

"It's like that one episode of Spongebob," I say every chance I get.

The presenters here seem like they're trying to optimize animation and decrease the need for people instead of adding another tool to the toolbox for artists. The only "pro" I can think of for this is to make more money, faster. They see art as a commodity instead of a vital part of the human experience. Consume, consume, but no savoring. What's the point of automating everything? Then what? What are we left with when all of our agency is taken from us?

I’m sure OP didn’t mean it like, “It’s okay if blue collar jobs get automated,” and I want to interact in good faith. Like I mentioned, tech should be used to make safer working conditions. What’s the goal with these “innovations” guys? Be honest with yourselves.

The “human touch”

This isn't a case of a crotchety old man who fears change and innovation. While Studio Ghibli is known for its hand-drawn animation, they have utilized things like CGI. I don't think he's anti-technology. He may have been hesitant to use it at first, but being hesitant about the unknown and unfamiliar is a normal human reaction. We all do it. Refusing to listen and learn about the unfamiliar to eventually reach an educated opinion is where things can become a problem (but that opinion can still be in opposition after being educated on it). The CGI they utilized is a tool. So what makes that so different from what the presenters showed them? It lacks "the human touch." It's trying to remove human input from the equation as much as possible. It's not the technology, but the intent behind it.

In this clip we can see that Miyazaki isn't adverse to technology. It looks like they're using some CGI that has settings to calculate various factors. He suggests tweaks and is open to using it.

In Howl's Moving Castle, a 3D model is used as a tool to help them realize their vision. It's used to create a reference and then tweaked to add more weight to the castle's movements.

I think art inherently has something to say. Yes, even the cave-painting bear. That's the human touch, the human experience, and what provides meaning. What are the presenters in the video trying to say? I'm not sure they know either. Their AI model isn't inherently evil, but the intended implementation is out of touch.

While I'm sure there's something to be said about the potential threat to artists' livelihoods, that's not what I think pained Miyazaki and Suzuki the most. It was the lack of soul and meaning.

When Miyazaki started talking about his disabled friend, it hit me somewhere deep down. I couldn't figure out why, or rather I couldn't coherently explain it. The dehumanization? Words often fail us. I'm sure someone out there put the feeling into words more eloquently than I could.

This is something I don't really talk about publicly much, but the reason I have this maddening urge to create is because I have something to say. And I draw heavily on my life experiences, some of which are unique to me, the stories and ideas of others, and things that I love and want to share.

Sometimes bluntness is kind, and being nice is not

Do I think Miyazaki went too far or was too harsh? Honestly, no. I don't know if I could have been as calm and well-spoken, not even by a fraction. My frustration would consume me in the moment. There's nothing wrong with challenging someone in a civil manner. In fact, it should be done more often. Civilly of course! This isn’t a pass to be an aggressive ass. Hearing the thoughts of all types of people is vital to becoming a well-rounded person. You don't have to agree with them. But listening to someone and considering a different perspective is a healthy thing to do. I'm a big believer in being kind, but being "nice" to avoid hurting someone's feelings when they need to hear something is in fact, not kind. This was a perspective they needed to hear. I’m going to make the assumption they aren’t super involved in the art world, so they need the perspective of someone who is a part of that world.

Side note, I think a lot of this can be applied to the issues of the AI art that Frankensteins existing art and images. Obviously, art theft is an issue, but other than that it has a lot of the same issues as the ones I’ve already discussed.

In summary, art and science can and should coexist. But like most things, there needs to be a balance.

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Week

Wherein we cover an entire season of Space Ghost Coast to Coast over the course of a week

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #57: “Joshua”

| January 1, 1998 | S04E25

Ending the season with a goddamned bang is “Joshua”, an especially hilarious “conceptual” episode that has a dizzying amount of funny stuff in it. The majority of this episode is masquerading as a “for internal use only” sales video meant for advertisers and other potential business partners to convince them to license the Space Ghost brand for commercial use. I’ve decided I’m not even going to try and highlight my favorite bits, because it’s just a series of hilarious stuff. 

“Joshua”, named for a marketing exec at the Cartoon Network, was written similarly as “Pavement” was. The group of writers wrote either two pages or for twenty minutes into a laptop and passed it off to somebody else when they were done. They should’ve written the whole series like that. 

There’s a few notable things about this episode. One of those things is that it includes clips from bogus “upcoming” episodes, and it’s simply an excuse to burn off interviews that were otherwise not gonna get used. In the commentary track they mourn the loss of Tony Bennett and John Flansburgh’s interviews, saying that they were actually quite good. John Flansburgh’s screen time amounts to about 3 seconds, and I don’t think you get to even hear him speak.

It sounds like a few scripts died so this episode might live. The DVD commentary mentions a full script written for Tom Arnold’s interview, and that Evan Dorkin and Sarah Dyer wrote a full-show script for the contest winners who are jammed in at the end of the episode. That’s another notable thing: When the marketing video is over, we cut to the actual Space Ghost opening, as if we’re just now getting to watch an extremely short episode of the actual show. The guests are two youngsters who won a haiku contest, the prize being that they get to be guests on Space Ghost. They were lead to believe that they would have an entire episode dedicated to them, but wound up splitting a two-minute segment. Evan and Sarah are special thanked in the credits, probably along with other writers who wrote scripts for the mostly-unused interviews featured here.

One of the contest winners wrote about getting to hang out with the Space Ghost staff before shooting his interview. He was legitimately insulted that they used so little of his interview in the actual show.

One last thing, and it’s a DVD NOTE: This episode on DVD is missing a small segment featuring guest “William: The King of Imagination”, who apparently was just some dude they met at a convention or something like that. I remember when they were prepping this DVD they actually put a call out during the Adult Swim bumpers requesting his whereabouts, because they needed him to sign off his likeness rights for home video. I guess they couldn’t track him down. He is in the HBOMax version, though. Also: HBOMax (and IMDB?) consider this episode to be part of season 5? I’m assuming because it aired in the calendar year of 1998, on January 1st? Yeah, whatever.

And that is it for Space Ghost Week! Stay tuned TONIGHT for the debut of LIVE ACTION on Adult Swim: We cover the first episode of Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job.

EPHEMERA CORNER

Space Ghost Coast to Coast: This is 1997 (April 12, 2005)

Also known as Volume Three. I’m covering it here because I forgot to cover this DVD release when I was doing 2005. Let this loose thread finally be tightened.

I’ve basically covered all the great stuff about this DVD in detail over the course of various write-ups. A handful of commentaries, some deleted scenes and a raw interview with Bob & David, and fun Easter Eggs (an awards presentation video for a local Emmy awards animated with Space Ghost and Co, and a weird little clip package of the Space Ghost crew visiting what seems like Cape Canaveral for some promotional thing, perhaps having to do with the Planetarium Tour.

There’s also a version of the World-Premiere Toon-in that’s a bit of a director’s cut version of the show that actually has a little bit of extra footage and excises all the clips of other cartoons. It’s not what a purist would call a “complete” version of the episode, but it’s maybe the most watchable version. Somebody ought to cut together a composite cut of all of them. Somebody other than me. You know?

[where-theres-smoak-2]

HOTD Ep 8 Predictions/Theories

I can’t believe we are at ep 8 already this series has gone by so quickly, but once again I am going to channel my inner Helaena and see if I can predict the future. Said it before but for the sake of clarity I am not a book reader so all of my theories are based on what has happened in the show and the promos and stills that were released. So here is what I think may happen in the next episode. 

Successions and Alliances

It looks like from the promo that we are going to have two characters in bad health and potentially dying, Viserys and Corlys, which honestly I am so not ready for. I do feel like this episode is going to focus alot on succession both for the iron throne and for the driftwood throne and I do think both story points will be connected.  

So lets focus on Viserys and the Iron Throne first. The promo opens with Otto on the throne saying ‘as hand I speak with the king's voice on this and all other matters.’ We also get this shot of Rhaenyra and Daemon:

Where Rhaenyra says ‘those vipers rule in my father’s name’ and Daemon replies ‘to King’s landing then.’ I do think there is going to be alot more to this conversation, but what we have here tells us what we need to know, the king is incapacitated and now the Greens are ruling in his stead. The obvious thing to do here as heir to the throne is to go to King’s Landing. 

I do think the greens are going to use the King being out of the game to their advantage though. Which brings me to the driftwood throne. We learn through Daemon that Corlys has been gravely wounded, I actually think the image above could well also be when Daemon tells Rhaenyra that Corlys is wounded and this contributes to them going to King’s Landing. We also get a clip of Vaemond asking Rhaenys who will take the driftwood throne. There are also these stills that show a heated conversation between them whilst Rhaenys is sitting on the driftwood throne:

I suspect this conversation will happen with Corlys injured but still alive, as Rhaenys is not dressed in black but in blue, and its the characters wondering what will happen if he dies. I also think Rhaenys will be ruling Driftmark in her husband’s stead whilst he is incapacitated much like Otto is with the Iron throne. Baela is present and we know from ep 7 that whilst Corlys wants Lucerys to be his heir and inherit Driftmark, Rhaenys wants Baela to be heir as she has Velaryon blood and Luc does not. It is possible that when Vaemond asks who will inherit Rhaenys, despite her husband’s wishes, tells him that Baela will inherit. Needless to say I think this is going to make Vaemond angry, with him calling out Rhaenyra at the funeral I think Vaemond will consider himself as having the most legitimate claim to Driftmark. I think we will end up with three separate claims, Rhaenys putting forth Baela, Vaemond putting forward himself and Rhaenyra putting forth Lucerys. I also think the dispute will be taken to King’s Landing and Otto will preside over it and make a decision on behalf of the king. I also feel like it is going to get very messy with insults thrown about and drama galore. What I am curious about is Baela here. She appears to be the only one of the children at Driftmark which makes me wonder whether she was already there and has been living there a while or whether she was at Dragonstone with the rest of the family but when they heard of Corlys’ injury she travelled to Driftmark at her grandmother’s request. It is also interesting that she is dressed in blue here when all of her siblings are shown in the red and black colours of house Targaryen. Is it possible that there is some tension between Baela and her family? Maybe she suspected Rhaenyra and Daemon had something to do with her uncle’s ‘death’ or maybe she just couldn’t accept her father getting married again so soon after her mother’s death and so she went and moved in with her grandparents? I hope not because I would love for all five of their kids to be close and the four older kids did seem to bond in episode 7, I would also like for them to be close to both parents. I just like the idea of the blacks being one big happy family. Of course her wearing blue could just be Rhaenys way of presenting her connection to House Velaryon, if she is going to present Baela as a potential heir then it makes sense to put her in the house colours to remind everyone Baela has Velaryon blood. 

I do think that Vaemond is going to make a deal with the greens to get Driftmark. Giving such a powerful seat to someone outside of Rhaenyra’s family would be a huge blow to the Blacks. The deal could be that if he supports Aegon’s claim to the throne then they will give him Driftmark in return. Part of the reason why I think this might happen is because in ep 7 during the dagger scene we see Vaemond standing close to Alicent maybe indicating he will be on team Green. Also in this shot of Vaemond from the throne room Vaemond looks really smug as does Aegon:

Meanwhile Rhaenyra looks really angry here:

Another reason why I think they will be working together is because we get a shot in promo of Vaemond arriving in King’s Landing and he is accompanied by guards bearing the Hightower sigil with the green flames of war:

So I think that Otto will name Vaemond heir to Driftmark and this is what he is referring to when he says ‘as hand I speak with the king’s voice on this and all other matters.’ I also do wonder if he will also declare Aegon heir to the throne and that’s another reason why Aegon looks so smug, but I don’t know if that would be too bold even for Otto. 

I don’t think the greens and Vaemond will be the only ones making a deal. We get these shots of Rhaenyra and Rhaenys in the gods wood.

In this scene Rhaenyra tells Rhaenys that ‘this is a trap’. I don’t think Rhaenys would be happy with Vaemond getting Driftmark instead of someone with her and her husband’s blood. Also Rhaenys can be heard in the trailer saying ‘tomorrow the Hightowers land their first blow.’ I think by this point Rhaenyra and Rhaenys will have guessed that the greens and Vaemond are working together and this is what Rhaenys is referring to by first blow, taking Driftmark from the blacks by naming Vaemond heir. In the image of Vaemond arriving that I talked about earlier you can see the shoulder of Lucerys in the shot, there is this image which I think is from the same scene:

I think Lucerys and it looks like maybe Jace too will see Vaemond arriving with the Hightower guards and mention it to their mother who will put two and two together and that’s how she’ll figure out the Greens have formed an alliance with Vaemond.

I said in my review for ep 7 when talking about the disagreement between Corlys and Rhaenys about who should be his heir that the simplest solution would be to marry Baela to Lucerys that way their heirs will have both the Velaryon name from Luc and the Velaryon blood from Baela. I do think that Rhaenyra will offer something like this to Rhaenys with the argument that it will make their claim for Driftmark stronger. But I am not sure it’ll be Baela she will offer a marriage between and the reason why is because in this scene Rhaena is also present.

If it were a marriage proposal between Baela and Lucerys then I would think that it would either be Rhaenyra and Daemon approaching Rhaenys or Rhaenyra and Baela. With it being Rhaenyra and Rhaena approaching her I am thinking that it is actually going to be Rhaena’s hand in marriage to Lucerys that Rhaenyra offers. Maybe they will also match Jacaerys and Baela together presenting the deal of you’ll have Rhaena for your Velaryon blood on Driftmark and then you will also have Velaryon blood on the throne as Baela will be Jace’s queen consort when he takes the Iron Throne which is a pretty good deal for Rhaenys. It just makes sense to me, the moment I saw the four of them together in ep 7, I was like two sons, two daughters I bet they’ll wed them to each other. As to why I think they will offer Rhaena’s hand for Driftmark instead of Baela’s despite it being Baela that Rhaenys wants, I think that is strategic. Rhaenyra knows that there is a strong possibility that there will be a war when her father dies and that they will have a better advantage the more dragons they have. So it make sense to me for Rhaenyra to surround herself with as many dragons and dragon riders as she can. I can imagine tensions are a bit shaky with the Velaryons after Laena and Laenor’s deaths, I don’t think that Daemon or Rhaenyra would want to lose not just one dragon and rider to Driftmark but two. As it is at the moment (unless she has claimed or gained a dragon in the timejump) Rhaena doesn’t have a dragon so if she goes to Driftmark they aren’t losing a dragon. However if Baela does then they will lose two dragons instead of just the one (Luc’s dragon). At the moment the Hightowers have three dragons, including the biggest. The Velaryons have two if Seasmoke stayed and didn’t disappear with Laenor. If Luc inherits Driftmark and goes over to them then that’s three like the Hightowers. The blacks however (if Luc goes to Driftmark) have at least five if Joffrey’s egg hatched which I am going to assume it did. So even if Luc goes to Driftmark they have an advantage over both the Hightowers and Velaryons. However if Luc and Baela were to marry and then go to Driftmark that would give the Velaryons potentially four dragons, if they were to then betray Rhaenyra and side with the greens, that would give the greens a huge advantage with 7 dragons. I personally don’t think they would side with the greens but I could see Rhaenyra making a contingency plan just in case. Proposing a marriage between Baela and Jace and Luc and Rhaena would not only secure the alliance between the two houses but would make sure the dragons and riders were on the blacks side as well, it would give them potentially 8 dragons if not more. 

Dragon Egg Hunt

Speaking of how important dragons will be in the upcoming fight we can see from promo pics that Rhaenyra and Daemon are expecting a little one:

We know that its a Targaryen tradition to put an egg in the baby’s cradle. However we don’t know much about the ownership of dragons and their eggs. Rhaenyra does offer an egg to Alicent for Aemond if her Dragon Syrax laid another clutch which to me suggests that when it comes to the eggs whoever the laying Dragon belongs to also then owns the eggs they’ve laid so in Syrax’s case because she is Rhaenyra's dragon any egg she lays belongs to Rhaenyra. But what happens if your dragon hasn’t laid an egg and you’ve got a babe on the way, in this case I am going to assume that you would appeal to the crown or someone else who has a dragon that has laid eggs. We know that there is another dragon that has laid eggs in the past, Dreamfyre, as it was one of her eggs that Rhaenyra chose for her brother Baelon and that was the egg Daemon stole. It also seemed at the time that Dreamfyre belonged to the crown but I did see a post that said Helaena is now bonded to Dreamfyre. I could see a situation arising in this episode where Rhaenyra and Daemon appeal to the crown for a dragon’s egg to put in their child’s cradle but because the King is incapacitated and the Green’s are in control and obviously wouldn’t want the Blacks to have yet another dragon, they deny the appeal. However we know that if Daemon wants his child to have a dragon egg in their cradle as is the tradition of his house he is damn well going to make sure they do. So I suspect Daemon is going to go on a dragon egg hunt. There is this shot of Daemon holding an egg in this weeks promo:

There is also this shot from the, I think, weeks ahead trailer that shows someone scaling down the side of a cliff and I am pretty sure that it is Daemon:

My theory is that after being denied an egg by the greens he uses the knowledge he got from those books he was reading written by old dragon riders that Laena mentioned in ep 6 and discovers the location of a possible egg, maybe in one of the dragon rider’s journals they recount a tale of their dragon possibly laying a clutch of eggs somewhere and Daemon decides to risk life and limb because his baby will have a dragon’s egg. Who knows maybe they’ll be two there and he’ll bring one back for Rhaena too. 

Another possibility is that this is Syrax’s egg and she just decided to lay it in the most inconvenient spot she could and so Daemon has to go rock climbing to get it.  

Armed To The Teeth

I do think it is possible that things are going to get violent in King’s Landing over this dispute about the heir to Driftmark and just in general between The Greens and The Blacks. The only way Vaemond can put forth a claim for the Driftwood throne is by discrediting Lucerys’ claim and the way to do that is by once again bringing up the question of Rhaenyra’s sons parentage. Daemon is very protective of his family particularly of people talking bad about his family as we saw when he told Corlys that he could speak of his brother as he wishes but Corlys will not. So I don’t think Daemon is going to take kindly to people bringing up this issue again even more so now that its his wife and stepsons they are talking about. Daemon clearly was anticipating trouble too because in several of the images he is armed to the teeth. Like I think he has at least three blades on him and who knows what other weapons he might be hiding where you can’t see, he seems like the kind of guy who would keep one in this boot just in case. The other thing worth noting is that not only has he shown up with several weapons but that his hands are never far from them, in several of the shots he’s got his hands kind of cupped near the hilts of his blades. It just seems to me that from the moment they arrive in King’s Landing he is in protective mode and is on edge, prepared for anything.  

Also in this still, his hand isn’t just near his weapon it is on the blade ready to draw. Daemon looks angry to me and Rhaenyra looks both shocked and upset. Meanwhile Jace also looks tense and is side eyeing Daemon clearly wondering what he is about to do. I suspect from Rhaenyra’s shocked expression and Daemon’s angry one that someone has just thrown an insult either at Rhaenyra herself or at one of her sons. 

I do think the situation will only escalate from there as in this still Daemon has drawn Dark Sister:

Also the King’s Guard behind him have their hands on their swords which makes me wonder if Daemon has threatened whoever insulted Rhaenyra or/and her boys. I suspect the person who may have insulted her is Vaemond giving how he was at Laena’s funeral. The thing is bringing up the boys parentage is a risky move on Vaemond’s part and just as risky is the Green’s entertaining it and considering Vaemond’s claim instead of just throwing it out because they themselves by entertaining it are also saying that they doubt their parentage. The problem with this is that the King in ep 7 publicly stated that anyone questioning their birth would have their tongue removed, basically it is treason to question their legitimacy. So this makes it clear to me that the King is like on his death bed and the Greens clearly don’t think he is going to recover otherwise they wouldn’t be risking bringing this up again. However I think Viserys is going to surprise them all by showing up as things are getting ugly. We have this shot of Viserys entering the Throne Room looking the worse for wear:

I think Viserys will be laying down the law like he did in ep 7 and once again reminding everyone that they are not to question Rhaenyra’s sons legitimacy. In this image you can see the Greens and all but Alicent seems to be looking over to Viserys and look like they’ve just been chastised.

Alicent is looking down and away clearly avoiding making eye contact with Viserys so that makes me think she knows they are in a bit of trouble here. I also think Viserys will overturn Otto’s decision to name Vaemond heir to Driftmark and will name Lucerys instead as he won’t consider the claim that Lucerys is illegitimate valid. I don’t know if he will enforce punishment on Vaemond or not for questioning the birth of the princes as he said anyone speaking out would be punished but Viserys isn’t very good at enforcing his rules. But then I could see Daemon either pushing for Vaemond to be punished or just taking matters into his own hands and either removing Vaemond’s tongue or just outright killing him and then pleading that Vaemond committed treason and that he was just enforcing the King’s own laws. I just don’t see Daemon letting it go that easily. 

Family Dinner

It also looks like the Greens and the Blacks are going to be having a family dinner together.

 I don’t know if this happens before or after the throne room dispute but I can see this coming about through two ways. One could be that the Greens invite the Blacks to dinner as a faux peace offering claiming they want to mend the rift between them but are actually just lulling them into a false sense of security so they won’t suspect that they are planning to crown Aegon behind Rhaenyra’s back, because you can bet that’s exactly what they are planning to do. This could be an alternative reason why we see Rhaenyra telling Rhaenys ‘this is a trap’ maybe she is talking about the dinner.

Another possibility though is that it could be that Viserys realises that he is very close to death now and wants to try one last ditch effort to reunite the two sides of his family before he pops his clogs. He requests that both sides put aside their differences and share this meal together in good will to heal the rifts between them. In the promo we hear him say ‘the crown cannot stand strong if the house of the dragon remains divided’. I don’t think it is going to go so well though. For one thing Alicent and Rhaenyra could not be sitting further away from each other so it doesn’t look like they are going to be talking through their differences:

Also in the promo, I couldn’t get a good shot of it, but we see Jace slam his hands on the table and rise out of his chair and Aegon is standing right behind him so I suspect Aegon has said something that has upset Jace:

There is also this shot of Aemond making a toast and judging from the smirk on his face I actually feel like there is going to be a veiled insult in there. 

I think throughout the whole meal we’ll just see quiet insults being whispered. I think the toast will come first and then Aegon will whisper something in Jace’s ear which will cause him to snap. So he slams his hands on the table and then rises to confront Aegon. We also have these shots where a fight clearly breaks out between the four boys. We can see who I think is Jace throwing a punch and Aemond whilst Aegon and Lucerys are in the background and then another shot of Aegon slamming one of the boys’ head into the table whilst Baela looks on in shock. 

I feel like at this point the parents must have left because I can not see them just standing by and letting them fight also what are these guards in the background doing because it doesn’t look like they are rushing in to break up the fight. 

Ghosts of the Past?

This image intrigues me because I can’t quite make out who it is. They are definitely both Targaryens though as one thing is clear and that is that they both have white hair, you have a male asleep in bed and then a woman approaching the bed. So here are a few options I can think of. One is that it is Daemon and Rhaenyra. Maybe Rhaenyra is struggling to sleep and so has gotten up to wander around the room. Maybe she has become so troubled that she decides to approach the bed to wake Daemon up and talk through her troubles with him. 

Another option is that it is Viserys in the bed and that Rhaenyra has snuck in to see her father and check on him. The only thing that makes me doubt that one is that surely there would be guards at the King’s door who would see Rhaenyra go in. Unless there is a secret passage that leads to his room too and Rhaenyra uses that to visit her father. 

The last possibility I can think of is a heartbreaking one. There is a good possibility that Viserys will die in this episode. I assumed the woman had to be Rhaenyra as she looks pregnant but what if this is Viserys last moments and as he is dying he imagined Aemma is there, that she has come to collect him in a way, Aemma still pregnant with their son. Or maybe he is having a flashback to a memory of her in his last moments, maybe a memory of when she was pregnant with Rhaenyra or with Baelon. I can just see Viserys thinking about Aemma at his end. 

The Whyte Wrym 

Now usually when I see someone in a hood like this I immediately assume its Daemon and that he is up to no good. It definitely could be Daemon as he does have a connection with Mysaria, maybe he wants information about someone and so he goes to Mysaria to get it. 

But there is another possibility here because in one of the trailers there is this shot of Aemond where he is wearing a black hood:

 So maybe they are trying to trick us here in the trailer by making us think its Daemon in his trouble making cloak because he’s the one we are used to seeing in the cloak when actually its Aemond with Mysaria. What he would want with her I am not sure. We know that Mysaria has a informant relationship with Otto, we saw her receive payment from the boy who told Otto about the brothel incident. So maybe Otto sent Aemond to talk to Mysaria about something? 

Anyway that is everything that I have got prediction wise. I am looking forward to the episode as always I am interested to see how the characters have developed and changed and what kind of dynamics they have with each other, especially with the kids now that they are older.  

[cyarsk5230]

Kendrick Hates Drake: ‘euphoria’ is Deeper Than Hip-Hop Beef

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In the world of Hip-Hop diss tracks, time is of the essence. So the three weeks since Drake dropped “Push-Ups” in response to Kendrick Lamar’s “Like That” verse feels like a relative eternity not to hear back from K. Dot.

So when the Compton emcee dropped his much-awaited response “euphoria” Tuesday morning, those of us who’ve been waiting with bated breath stopped what we were doing and scrambled for the headphones. 

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Indeed, “euphoria” is what many of us were waiting for: A scathing, incisive 6-minute 24-second heat rock that’s killing productivity in workplaces nationwide as I type. But it also demonstrates that Drake and Kendrick have completely different approaches to rap beef.

A recap of how we got here: After years of trading subliminal shots toward each other, Kendrick finally upped the ante in March with pointed disses in his surprise appearance on “Like That” on Future and Metro Boomin’s album “We Don’t Trust You.” Drake responded three weeks later with “Push Ups,” and again the following week with “Taylor Made,” a track on which he used AI voice filters of 2Pac and Snoop Dogg to urge Kendrick to respond. 

While everyone was speculating when – or if – Kendrick would respond, he sent a simple, understated tweet of a YouTube link and the track title on Tuesday, officially putting the battle into full motion.

While Drake fires his shots with the steely calm of a sniper reloading the chamber, Kendrick Lamar is closer to Tony Montana, yelling while dumping clips from his machine gun. That’s not to say that Kendrick’s rhymes here aren’t intentional or calculated — both rappers are at the top of their game. But on “Push Ups,” Drake used witty, dismissive punchlines and a catchy, patronizing chorus. 

In contrast, “Euphoria” is a relentless, snarling assault — more than six minutes of insults making up for lost time.

Disses by Future, A$AP Rocky, and Rick Ross in recent weeks have shown that there’s plenty of ammunition to send Drake’s way. Kendrick doesn’t offer much as far as new information (other than alleging that Drake tried to a file cease and desist order for “Like That”) in “euphoria,” but he brings a tenacity to their feud that Drake’s other foes haven’t while presenting “euphoria” as a disambiguation of all anti-Drake sentiments. 

Kendrick pokes fun at Drake for not responding to Pusha T’s “Story of Adidon,” retreads Push and Ross’ insults of racial insecurity, disses him for getting help writing his rhymes, repeats the viral accusations of him having fake abs and labels the Canadian rapper a misogynist.

In true K. Dot fashion, there appear to be a few jewels beneath the surface. The song is six minutes long — a sly reference to Drake’s nickname 6 God. “euphoria” is the same name of the TV show Drake produces that has been criticized for its sexualization of minors — allegations that Drizzy himself has battled for years. There’s even a clip circulating on social media that translates the reversed audio in the song’s intro. 

But perhaps the funniest and most telling lyric is the most pointed: “This ain’t been ‘bout critics, not about gimmicks, not about who the greatest / It’s always been about love and hate, now let me say I’m the biggest hater,” Kendrick raps. “I hate the way that you walk, the way that you talk / I hate the way that you dress I hate the way you sneak diss, if I catch flight, it’s gon’ be direct.”

 Kendrick doesn’t just want to battle Drake for rap supremacy, because he already feels like he has the top spot. He can’t stand Drake, and he’s thrilled by the opportunity to take him down.

Blackness in your inbox daily. Subscribe to The Root.

[denimbex1986]

'A BBC reporter is getting blasted as homophobic for grilling Andrew Scott over Barry Keoghan's nude scene in "Saltburn" -- questioning him at the BAFTA's, of all places.

BBC entertainment correspondent Colin Paterson thought it was cool to ask Andrew -- who's gay -- his reaction to Barry's naked dance sequence in "Saltburn" -- and you can see AS's uncomfortable response in the clip, which is cringe-worthy, to say the least.

Scott laughs and shakes his head at first ... trying to navigate around the awkward question by saying he doesn't want to spoil the movie for anyone who hasn't seen it yet. He does play along a little though, saying the scene was great.

But, Colin kept pushing it ... continuing to say, "There was a lot of talk about prosthetics ... how well do you know him?"

The insinuation behind the question proved too much for Andrew, who quickly stepped out from the camera shot ... with CP finally registering it was "too much." It took him that long to realize??!

CP's interview with AS had people fuming online, with one person writing on X: "This is frankly disgusting. Andrew Scott is there to support his multiple nominated film and THIS is what you ask? Then when he looks visibly uncomfortable the guy carried on. Truly horrid. #BAFTAs."

Another wrote ... "This is appalling: presenter Colin Paterson "interviewing" brilliant Andrew Scott, & asking about a fellow actor's genitals (in a film Andrew is not even in). Because Andrew is also Irish, like Barry Keoghan? Because he's gay? Baffling & insulting to both of these talented actors."

The BBC has yet to respond to the criticism ... and Colin also hasn't addressed his misstep.

As for Andrew, he clearly handled the off-guard moment with grace ... especially considering he was there to promote his movie "All Of Us Strangers" ... which sadly didn't win any of the 6 noms it was up for.

Pretty crazy that this sorta thing can fly in 2024, and yet ... here we are.'

[andromedasummer]

guest belgian commentator for the country's f1 broadcast called lance stroll autistic as an insult i cannot stress how fucking exhausting it is being an autistic racing fan.

[synonymouswithanonymous]

What lies? Could you justify and give some precise examples. I'm curious 🙂

where to begin? I've written about loads of them. Mistranslating her words. I've said that one repeatedly. As I've said before some people have created fictions in their heads and hardcore believe these lies they're spewing. A whole list of pure speculation, presented as facts (another post).

Claiming she's got *insert multiple medical disorders as an insult* How would we know of anything other than what she's talked about? You can't diagnose over social media clips. It's just more lies. Lies designed to make her look bad.

Claiming she's abusive behind closed doors. How would we know? This is speculative lying to further claim she's "bad" etc.

Claiming to know "their real timeline" when all we have is speculation, they want to say shes a cheater. That's clear character assassination, by creating a lie, and repeating it a lot, to try to make her look bad. Or make him look bad by calling him a homewrecker.

Claiming she's not a real survivor of abuse, or uses it to further her career is not only twisted, but again creating a fiction to rail at her, just bc you don't like her is a cruel, unsympathetic lie.

Claiming she's manipulating him, as if anyone outside his real life would know? People are claiming this as fact, like they have proof. No there's literally no proof, just opinions. To claim this as a fact is a bold face lie.

That she pushed him into revealing their relationship before he was ready. As if we could know? To create fiction just bc you don't like her, is a lie. He'd been spotted out with her before April.

I made a whole post about how haters claim she "chains" him to her side, and he never gets to see friends, family or work. These are lies. From several pictures and projects, this is an outright misrepresentation of the truth. And also, again, just bc it's not posted and we don't see it, doesn't mean it's not happening. But clearly he isn't chained at her side lol.

Trying to twist everything she does from cupcakes to war, into Something to justify calling her an evil leech worm etc. Is a type of lying imo to force a narrative designed to hurt her.

Example: That her ladybug book video was her "flipping off the fans." Now that's just a ridiculous twisting of a video.

That she's "mocking the mentally disabled" by "talking funny", she was speaking Norwegian. That by dancing she was doing the same. These are horrible abusive lies to try to spread around about someone. That was repeated quite a bit, they were serious. Again, speaking another language and dancing on a red carpet? This makes someone want to spread malicious lies about her that she's mocking the disabled bc they don't like she's dating AHA. Don't get me started on the stereotypes about the disabled that that person wants to perpetuate. And I'll also point out, when this popped up the first time, a fan with 1994 in their name was openly mocked for liking Johanne. Their malicious ridicule of that person, still bothers me. But that's gone off topic.

To say she was pissed at a premiere before they revealed themselves, by the "look" on her face. Maybe they saw different clips, bc the ones I saw only the back of her head was seen. So not sure how her facial expression was "glaring" lol. So more lies.

Literally the only factual truths we have are these, they are a couple, they live together, they say they love each other, they're vacationing in Italy. They're both actors. Those are facts, bc they just exist without interpretation. Now if you're not one of the ones who genuinely believe everything they're saying about her, then I'm glad. You understand we don't know them in reality. I'm more of a benefit of the doubt, easy going person. I like her and she seems great to me. But will we ever know if either one of them is as nice as they appear to be? Nope.

That's just off the top of my head, we could debate the laws of the art world etc but meh. I don't really care one way or the other where someone draws inspiration. From pastiche, fair use, fan fiction, gifs, whatever, just be creative how you want to be. So I guess calling her an art thief would be a lie also, by laws definition she's not (made a post about art, links to laws) . I like Weird Al too, he's hilarious lol. I could see fair point, if someone morally disagrees with the practice, but it's not imo a big deal.

I will wish you a good day, though I remember you were among the ones calling me rude names. 😂

Edited to add, this post is public, even if I block someone it's still a public post. And naturally I will block people who've called me a variety of names in the past. Shouldn't be surprised that they were blocked lol, what you really thought you could slide into my inbox and I wouldn't remember your name? 😂😂😂😂