#cm incorrect

[xervoxs]

Hotch*checking under the bed*

Hotch: see no monsters in here

Reid: and closet..

Hotch*opening the closet*: see..

Hotch: Emily?

Hotch: come out, now

Emily: i'm lesbian

Morgan*coming out of nowhere*: i knew it

Reid*screams*

Hotch: what the..

[ssa-atlas-alvez]

Spencer: *2 hours into a 6 hour flight* New fear unlocked: what if I put a pimple patch on and I eat it? This hasn't happened, just to clarify, but what if it did?

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

I can almost hear her say that

[patrickispinky]

Derek: are you the big spoon or the little spoon?

Emily: i'm the knife

Jj: *from across the room* she's the little spoon

[lilliejareau]

“we listen and we don’t judge.”

penelope: one time reid gave me a tiny potted plant but it turns out it was actually plastic and he didn’t know so i pretended to water it for three years.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

JJ: sometimes when Henry wakes me up by jumping on my back, I feel like throwing him across the room for a split second.

bau: we listen and we don’t judge.

emily: one time when I was mad at Morgan for not sticking up for me during a case, I dipped his travel toothbrush in the toilet and didn’t rinse it off after and he used it about an hour later.

morgan: bitch what?!?

emily: we listen and we don’t judge!

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

[criminal-mindsincorrect]

Morgan : What do you call a dictionary on drugs ?

Hotch : If you say "addict-ionary" I will fire you.

Morgan : I was going to say "high definition" but yours better-

Emily, coming from nowhere : A Spencer Reid.

Hotch : EMILY PRENTISS-

[shinyglimmer-cm]

Rossi, texting Hotch: Who are you? Emily changed all my contact names.

Hotch: What did she change my name to?

Rossi: Batman.

Hotch: Don't change it back.

Rossi: But who the fuck are you?

Hotch: I'm Batman.

[spencestiel-michelle]

Derek: wanna see some nice guns?

Emily: we all have guns, derek. it comes with the badge. 

Derek: not those guns… these.

Derek, flexing his right bicep: mr. powerful.

Derek, flexing his left bicep: and mr. awesome. 

*Emily hands Derek her gun*

Derek: what’s this for?

Emily: shoot me. i can never unsee that.

[eternlmoonshine]

bau as text posts 4/?

[criminalmindsfanantic]

Emily, crying laughing: JJ was on a conference call and I just heard her say the words “which part of the ‘No’ did you not understand - the ‘nuh’ part or the ‘oh’ part?”

Emily: She’s out here rejecting bureaucrats the same way she tells Michael and Henry they can’t have snacks 😂

[xervoxs]

hotch: garcia, is everything alright? reid told me that someone is threatening you

garcia: what?

spencer: I saw this notification poped up at your screen today, someone like "I'll find you and cut of your whole family" and..

garcia: I FORGOT MY FRENCH LESSON

[ex-t3rr3strial]

[lazyclumzycat-blog]

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

Emily: ARE YOU-

Morgan: Fucking.

Emily: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Morgan: Fucking.

Emily: IDIOT!

Spencer: …What was that?

Morgan: Hotch banned Emily from swearing, so I’m helping her out.

[lilliejareau]

emily: reid is NOT allowed at my second funeral. he just told me i’d be having an open casket to “be sure”.