#incorrect criminal minds quotes

[spencestiel-michelle]

Reid: seriously, Y/n, i don’t want you to be the one going in there undercover. 

Y/n: i’m sorry. do you want to put on the dress instead and go in there yourself?

[lilliejareau]

emily: how do i become a farmer? like do i apply somewhere or do i just start digging?

derek: girl what??

[incorrect-ralvez]

Hotch: I’m telling you, my team is competent.

Emily, rushing in: Hotch! Derek tried to make pasta in the coffee pot and now it's broken!

[whoisspence]

morgan: i'm an expert at identifying birds

reid: oh yeah ? what about those flying over there ?

morgan: yup there're all birds

[multiverse-of-fandom]

Muggy

Emily: It's rather muggy outside. Hotch: Prentiss, I swear to God if I find so much as a SINGLE mug on our front yard I will-

[lemonadeinfuser]

how i feel whenever i say :3

[starch1ldz]

Y/n: no one actually thinks me and Spencer are dating.

Emily: Raise your hand if you think Spencer and Y/n are dating

The entire team including Spencer raising their hands.

Y/n: Spencer Walter Reid put your hand down.

[vervainariadne]

Strauss: You need to hire a professional tech analyst for your team.

Hotch: *sees a scented homemade pink stationery resume written in glitter ink*

Hotch:

Hotch: That one. I want that one.

[thedelusionalbitchgianna]

*Spencer zoned out*

Derek: What are you thinking about?

Spencer: How long i'd survive if you suffocated me with a pillow.

Derek: What's wrong with you?

Spencer: Do you want a list?

[spencestiel-michelle]

*the BAU team noticing Y/n and Spencer Reid*

Emily: hey- Derek. look at how close they’re standing. 

Garcia: they’re practically breathing the same oxygen. 

Derek scoffs: that kid’s got nerve. yesterday he literally took a whole step away from me when I stood too close to him- went on about something like germs in the air or whatever. 

Garcia: yeah, well, my love, you are not Y/n. 

[lilliejareau]

derek: yo reid, remember when JJ and will made out and prentiss just stood there and stared at them the whole damn time?

spencer, smirking: i remember.

emily: i was happy for them.

derek: girl, you looked at them like they hanged your cat or something

emily: yeah, no, we’re done here. *walks away*

rossi: see, derek? this is what happens when you remind people of their trauma. let her not-move-on in peace.

emily: i heard that!

[incorrect-ralvez]

Emily: We need to open this locked door. Rossi, give me your credit card.

Rossi: Here.

Emily, pocketing it: Thanks. Morgan, break down the door.

[whoisspence]

kidnapper: i have your child

hotch: which one i have five

kidnapper: the annoying one who won't shut the fuck up

hotch:

hotch: which one i have five

[demonicbaby666]

Emily: [flips monopoly board over] Hotch: Prentiss! Emily: This is why your wife is dead Reid: Emily! Emily: This is why your girlfriend is dead Morgan: Emily: This is why you’re bald Morgan: I DIDNT SAY SHIT!

[criminal-mindsincorrect]

JJ : An apple a day keeps the doctor away

Emily : Slowly bites into an apple while menacingly looking at Reid

Reid :

Reid : Emily what the fuck

[sarcasm-and-stiles]

Y/N: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Spencer: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Y/N: Holy fuck-