#coding is never the hard part of an IF
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do you have plans to add a critical success/critical failure to the pass/fail mechanic? similar to a nat 20 or a nat 1 in a ttrpg. or would that be too hard to code?
No. And it's a content generation issue, not a coding one!
What would a system like this look like in practice? Right now, the practical outcomes of Wayfarer's dice rolls are as follows:
Skill Succeeded - regular pass
Skill Failed - regular fail
Skill Effective - an automatic pass (when applicable - not all choices have these)
Skill Ineffective - automatic failure (when applicable - not all choices have these)
All four of these lead to unique outcomes that are different from each other.
For every regular dice roll there are two possible outcomes - a pass and a fail. Adding critical successes and fails would increase that to 4 outcomes for a single choice (there's no point in having them if they don't do something and have a tangible difference from a regular pass or fail).
That's an incredible amount of extra writing work, especially when you take other mechanics into account (i.e. ancestry or origin-locked choices, timed choices which have a unique outcome for when you let the timer run out, etc). Some sequences in Episode 2 lead to over 8 potential outcomes from a single passage!
#wayfarer#wayfarer if#gameplay#coding is never the hard part of an IF#content generation for all your different outcomes is the thing that takes the most amount of time and the most amount of work#answered#faqs
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I present to you a stupid thought. For all of episode 1 we have been both shown and told that Edwin is NOT the people person in the Agency. However right away in episode 2 when they're summoned by The Cat King, Edwin steps forward and insists he do the speaking in order to handle this diplomatically. It feels strange because while Charles might not be subtle as Edwin says about Shelby later, he is better at talking to people and working with them generally.
My stupid headcanon is that Edwin heard the word "King" and knew his anti-monarchy bestie would be his absolute WORST SELF so he stepped in before Charles could get himself in trouble.
#dead boy detectives#dbda#charles rowland#edwin payne#the cat king#I did it I cracked the code#I have a much darker headcanon for why Edwin talks to Shelby#Cuz honestly speaking I'm sure if Edwin had just told Charles#“I know you like Brad and Hunter but she's probably sensitive about them. Please be your most charming self”#Charles would know exactly what to do#Never mind the part where telling the traumatized boy having the worst week to put his mask on extra hard is a bad idea#Charles could and would do it if Edwin asked and also from years of experience being the agency's people person#Anyway back to TCK it is basically exactly what I said above#Even besides the fact that Charles would know Edwin’s the one in trouble with TCK and his protective instincts would kick in#Just the reference to monarchy and Charles would immediately be snarking the guy for existing
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it's easy to fall for bunny but it's hard to fall in love with bunny, if that makes sense. kinda hard to love and stay in love with a guy who can't stomach all the joy he sees in your eyes when you're with him. who treats giving and receiving affection like you're just trading bracelets at a concert or candies at lunchtime. who treats you well because he's not so much of an ass that he'd mistreat you on purpose (because he likes you, genuinely) but also keeps you at arm's length. you fall for his pretty face and that effortless charm, sure, but honestly? it's easier for you to like him as a friend than to ever seriously consider him as a lover. he makes it easy. he jokes instead of flirts, is thoughtful without being too giving, and looks at you with no expectation. being his friend is the kinder, easier option. for both you and him. even though it makes his skin crawl and his bones ache with the force of his wanting
#yelle.txt#bunny iglesias i am going 2 psychoanalyze u so hard once we get more content#hes so friends-to-lovers coded in my eyes but like#in the most convoluted and emotionally exhausting way possible#the guy's so careful to keep you at arm's length emotionally#and avoids looking at you for too long even though part of him wants to#he can recognize your voice anywhere. can pick out your laugh in an audience of hundreds#but he cant remember a warmth hed never let himself feel for too long. cant remember a scent he never lets himself get close enough to catc#he only recognizes the parts of you that dont require closeness at all#the guy's afraid of intimacy bc hes afraid that if he sees joy and love reflected in your eyes#that youll make him as sick as everyone else#someone get him in therapy please#btw disclaimer this is like. probably super ooc lmao we have almost zero stuff to base his personality on#same with my last bunny post ill come back to laugh at this in a few months lol#bllk.txt#bunny iglesias#bllk x reader#bunny iglesias x reader
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another thing that i just noticed is that the dwarves have now had done to them by the elves what we’d thought the elves had done to them by humans, at least before inquisition. cut down in their peak and permanently ruined, left to scrabble for the broken pieces of their history
not to say it’s an inherently bad choice because oppression isn’t that straightforward, but it sure was an interesting choice to shift the “they destroyed our way of life and fractured our society and we ARE allowing ourselves to feel angry about it and reclaim our history and maybe use that to rebuild what we once had” narrative from the elves to the dwarves. like if that’s the story you really wanted to tell, you could have also given it to like. bellara
#the fall of the titans feels very similar to what we had originally thought the sacking of arlathan was#so there may be more there to uncover. and i dont lnow that i trust them like that again lmao#and it feels especially. i dont want to say insidious but tone deaf at the very least#to shift that from elves (long history of racial coding and marginalization in this series) to dwarves (much less of that)#AND it being told from harding’s POV when she’s not really part of any dwarven society and never has been#feels very much like. white person whose family has been in north america for a few generations reading about european traditions and#trying to incorporate them into their life. anger over how their ancestors were coerced into abandoning their culture to be considered white#so youre left with nothing and are trying to reclaim That. listen it’s also a valid desire i guess but very telling that youre choosing#to tell this story while actively destroying the chance to tell the other kind of story#and also there’s something about how culture doesnt exist in a vacuum#i know some europeans accuse americans of cosplaying their culture and while on one hand that might just be refusal to acknowledge that#culture isnt a monolith and might evolve differently somewhere else. there is a bit of truth to it imo#anyway what im saying is this is absolutely what underground dwarves think of harding#we dont know enough about stalgard#kinda got the impression he was just a guy who lived there rather than part of kal sharok’s government or shaperate#he’s one guy and his opinion doesnt reflect kal sharok. i dont think orzammar is necessarily wrong for not cooperating#they are famously a very closed society and also this is someone from outside that trying to instruct them on their shit#same as when solas tried to ‘’’reason’’’ with the dalish#mine#datv spoilers
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Ngl I’m tempted to animate something from that one canon au where Kusuo dies with this cover
#I will never not take an opportunity to post about Will Stetson#I typically don’t care for English covers or dubs or anything but holy shit man he’s an exception for me#I’m a little ashamed to admit he has some covers that I actually prefer to the original#Like “nothings working out”#Which is also a very Saiki brothers coded song tbh#Specifically Kuusuke coded#WHY DID TUMBLR TAG THIS YOUTUBE DONT DO THAT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION ??#Oh actually speaking of English covers (I really like the art of song translation sorry) there’s actually one that’s not by Will Stetson#that I really like#The rolling girl cover by lollia#she makes it like? Rock? It’s so cool#and back to Will Stetson he does a cover of hated by life itself that has rap and when I first saw that I was like hmmmm how is that gonna#work out yk#BUT ITS SO SO GOOD? AND IT KIND OF ENHANCES THE EXPERIENCE ACTUALLY#That song (the original moreso) is also imo saiki coded#Hey can u guys tell my brain is rotted#i love translation one of my fav external/non story parts ab the saiki manga besides Asous ramblings is the translators notes#Like them explaining how the joke works and the context behind it and why a joke might be hard to translate#its so interesting to me
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Hey does anyone still think about the thematic differences between Supernatural and the Wayward Sisters and how self-isolating male hunters are compared to community-building female hunters and how this was shown from the Harvelles to even arguably Missouri Mosely and even Samuel Campbell who is his daughter's father almost more than a man himself (especially in Season 6) is not immune to this?
And how the Wayward Sisters could have been built not on sacrificing yourself to this singular all-consuming relationship with your brother and sacrificing yourself for the world second or in name only, but instead on what it takes to cut yourself into useful and digestible pieces for the sake of keeping your place in that community because you're almost certain that it's This Community or Solitude Forever (Alex you can never escape the life no matter how much you don't want it you've gotta pitch in do you want your family to die on this hunt Claire you know you'll never find anyone to love you unless you make yourself softer and then are they really loving you are you even worthy of love anymore Jody your husband and son would still be alive if you listened and learned you can't lose another child in every sense you can't quite let your children be defenseless children either and you know so well how sick this fear makes you and how you're dealing with it the wrong way your son got to be a child but your daughters can't be that vulnerable Even Donna you have Your Role to play here you're not good enough as a hunter but you're funny and happy and you don't take up that much space so that's exactly how much space you're given to exist in).
And yes, a lot of these things are echoes of Kripke Supernatural but instead of too-intimate and dark and quiet confessions that the Winchesters share and know that no one else could ever have the context to fully understand it's Community it's All Our Problems the humiliation and shame is all-encompassing because there is no privacy Everyone Sees You Everyone Knows You Everyone Wants To Fix Help You.
#Not to disappoint anyone but This Is Still About Lucifer#QuietWings' Amnesiac!Lucifer turning up at the Wayward Sisters' house has been growing like mold inside my skull#I could rewrite several episodes and two full seasons at this point#But apart from how Gender Lucifer is and how there is a lot of female-coding in S5 the Community is a little more apt than Brother focus#Because yes Lucifer losing Michael and Gabriel and Raphael and God is tragic but Lucifer Went To Prison and lost Community and the World.#Lucifer has no place that wants him aside from Hell and the demons are a constant reminder of his fall they were the sin that triggered it#(There's no depth to his relationship to the demons - Lilith could've been different - but Lucifer asks for worship and wants Love)#But Lucifer would not be immune to the Community Needs. It only works because they think he's just a moody angel with the amnesia at first#But after the revelation he has to atone for his sins by Community Work it's only if he tries real hard that they can Forgive a little#But never Forget. (They've come to rely on an archangel and they've pissed off archangel-sized monsters. They're fucked if he's free)#But Where Else Would You Go Lucifer? You want to make this work because this is your spider's thread your Only Chance#Sam Winchester is the boy you waited for millions of years to be understood by and he can't look at you without wanting to throw up#Sam saw the ugliest parts of you and that's all he understands but fate tricked three unremarkable humans into seeing you as an angel#As a devoted servant as a guardian as a cherub ruled by love singing to yourself in the morning as you take care of your humans#They saw some ugliness of course you are prideful and you are Too Much your anger turns to hail when it's supposed to be silent or words#But you have a place. It's washing the dishes. It's braiding Claire's hair. It's peeling your vessel's skin off to show Alex the veins.#You're happy you're so happy it betrays a little bit of righteous rage bc you have a place and it's Good and you just have to be careful#(Why haven't you learned to shut up after Everything it cost you the first time? Why can't you understand love means bending a bit?)#You're happy but living in a vessel means folding yourself small and you can Never be comfortable. But where else can you go?
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can’t wait to fail my standardized tests 🦅🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥
#gifted kid to burnt out teenager who can’t do basic algebra due to crippling anxiety pipeline goes hard#I probably won’t fail honestly they are very easy most of the time but keyword being most of the time#but like#this isn’t most of the time I have never been so consistently tired and foggy in my LIFE#im like?? constantly fatigued no matter what this is not good#I’m hoping hoping hoping that getting into coding Maybe helped restart some of my basic math functions. maybe#i hear coding helps with problem solving skills which is a big part of math so here’s hoping (coughs up blood)#I am so fucking glad I’m homeschooled because public school would squash me like a bug in a matter of hours#even on the loosest of schedules I am STRUGGLING 🦅🦅🦅💥💥💥IM SO SMART IM SO TALENTED YAAAAAYYYYAAUAUUUGHHHHHHHHHH#fucking DIES TO DEATH i need to brush up on my math IMMEDIATELY or i will be doomed#(merrily prancing in a field of flowers) I will probably have to repeat a grade (spins around gleefully) FUCK#where is all this academic pressure coming from. heh. me. yyeah I’m the only one who’s being hard on myself#like damn I can’t even blame anyone this is a Me Problem through and through isn’t it#me when I’m not literally perfect at everything all the time:
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actually really me if I'm honest
#current emotional state: finished rewatching bojack and then immediately started another rewatch#it gets easier. but you have to do it every day. that's the hard part. but it gets easier.#just the general message that as long as you are here it is never too late to make positive change#and no matter how hard it is it's worth it to do so#also. horse man funy#and todd is so me-coded lowkey.#tumblr you are the only one who knows everything about me. (beloved mutuals)
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Do you have any ideas for a gillion classpect... I was thinking breath for aspect... but idk...
YES !!! YES I HAVEEEEE I HAVEEEEEEEE >:]] (was just thinking about this today) Ok so like...
Gillion is Hope-Coded: There's the characteristics like optimism, trust, love good things that to me define Gillion.. Then there's also shit that ties him like belief, destiny, reliance on him as the Chosen one, religion etc. I like this explanation on hope by loquaciousgamer-classpecting:
Infinite in its power and limitless in its utility, Hope has the honor of being the Aspect of Possibility. To try and narrow its purview to anything less broad would be to go against the spirit of the Aspect. As a positive Aspect, Hope creates innumerable opportunities and makes all things possible. When Hope’s power is present, all things seem brighter, obstacles crumble away and belief becomes reality.
And it makes me think about the quite literal vibe he brings to the Riptide Pirates 'it is your destiny' and shit. Also a lot of the names of the stuff he does in fights (eg Favoured by the Gods, Divine Smite, Prophetic Screw Up - his SWORD is called Destiny's Blade) like... cmon man do I even have to say
MAID OF HOPE: Ok so I have a personal rule (im stubborn) that most if not all of Charlie's PCs are Heir-coded. It's just in his veins or smth if he doesn't do this he like dies --
Except Gillion (stay with me here)
LIKE from a distance if you didn't know him personally - only by his titles and his importance as the Chosen One, you'd pin him as an Heir he EMBODIES hope and is the deciding factor for the world's fate. But to those that do know him you'd discover how fucking daunting that role is - by the world he was thrusted this responsibility he was born with never asked for. When thinking about Gillion's situation I think of this quote by dahniwitchoflight:
Maids start out relying on others for their Aspect. They’re often treated like doormats, dismissed or pushed around by those they rely on. Their challenge is to learn to rely on themselves for their Aspect.
Maids of Hope start out relying on others for what to belief in or feel happy about. At their starting points they don’t have much to believe in that is of their own making, just what others have told them. This can make them seem like very gullible people at first. They trust and love whatever they have been told to by some kind of authority figure, or what they have always grown up trusting and believing. They do anything they feel they have been allowed to do, and nothing can stop them, but anything they feel like they haven’t gotten the green light for, they will not.
and then i cough i throw up and cry :[
Being a Maid of Hope means to create hope, to create a possibility out of impossibility, to forge his own future and decisions beyond what was put onto him.
and this is what he's doing now with the Riptide Pirates - and I find that message more than anything beautiful ;w;
#ask stufff#stufff rambles#classpect#gillion tidestrider#boly shit i never thought id see the day where i get to put jrwi and classpect in the same post wiaogh??#jrwi riptide#jrwi#unrelated-ish but Jay would be Breath-coded (idk the classpect yet)#and chip despite spiralling over him numerous times i have zero fucking clue#also unrelated UNRELATED I’m at the part where they get into the Corridor of Chaos and I have a fucking sotomafh ache I’m crying so hard#poor Jay 😭😭
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All Panels | Previous | Next
#sims 4#storytelling#simblr#ts4 simblr#sims story#ts4#clrt#clrt:ch5#ts4 story#I'm still testing the waters with the text#so hopfully it reads well#this seems the most readable text I've tested so hears hoping#I wanna keep the coloured names because I myself found it a little hard to see who was talking and when they finished#in the big paragraph parts#although I might make them more pastel?#all my sims are colour coded so the colour themselves isn't too tricky to pick#Also no I totally didn't forget to post this-#it's still sunday we good LMAO#I would queue it but I've never trusted the queue lmao
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the michael shaperaverse that lives in my head is a aro bisexual man who grew up in the swamps of louisiana and has the accent to match and would build a home for his postie family and all the kids he plans on taking in
#i say he's aro/bi but i also fully think he doesn't think too hard on his identity#he's vibing man#he's very girldad coded tho#but granted girldad michael is canon twice over#the where he grew up part imo is like. implied in the book and the way paul voiced him in his albums but. yknow#I also fully believe he and raven have slept together at some point#a vastly different dynamic than raven and Lloyd. something about Michael taking so much care of raven when they do#Michael calls him David like he always does and raven still never knows what to think about it. especially in bed#shaperaverse
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girl help i'm romanticizing academia and doing research again
#kcat talks#[through gritted teeth] i do not have the mental fortitude to do a phd. i will burn out with the slightest roadblock.#[fighting back tears] i will never know everything there is to know about multiple different academic fields pertaining to my interests...#being an expert in one is unrealistic enough let alone everything you think is cool...#but part of my brain is like. oooo you want to know every neuron in the body personally and solve the hard problem of consciousness and#make cool technology and be a memorable name in your field soooooo bad#like. bro you cant even commit to finishing a side project let alone a dissertation lmao#sighhhhh. at least i can be a dr in my daydreams#(or night dreams considering i had a dream about going back to school last night lol)#or maybe at least try to finish a side project relating to my interests instead. theres a dream research coding scale i could do something w#oh yeah i was also thinking of applying for a sleep or lucid dream study but idk if i could sleep in the lab well enough lol#can you tell im rambling instead of doing work again
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It's so funny that a bunch of ppl started hating on Gale mansplaining the shadow curse claiming that this is some kind of sign that he's a mysoginist while a) he does that no matter your PC's gender and b) if you tell him you know Abt it he gets excited and you can just have a chat...
#quenthel special#also i hate how most fans saw how hes lowkey straight coded bc he only shows interest in women except for tav and ran w it#instead of recognizing that as a blunder on larian's part to write a bisexual man 🤭#like i get it ig tgis is a problem w bi characters bc its a bit difficult to showcase attraction to begin with#esp hard w bisexuality ig bc there are less cultural shorthands avaliable also#like ngl everyone assuming some companions are gay imo was not necessarily bc they are biphobic but rather the idk#lgbt rep writing portion of bg3 is not good LOL#i think the only character i would say is good fantasy lgbt rep is arueshalae in wotr#and its bc her struggles work as a methaphor and shes supported by her community (a lesbian couple) not just the pc#the other would be lann's bisexual journey but he is a straight romance option so it never happened LOL
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honesty seems to be something that's very important to adam -- say what you will about him, but he isn't a liar. keeping the exterminations quiet is as close to a lie as he gets ( but i would say it isn't technically a lie of omission, as that would require someone questioning the goings-on in hell and adam not bringing it up in his answer ) and he actively seems to hold a lot of disdain towards liars ;; particularly towards vaggie.
when he confronts her in episode 6, she lies about not knowing what he's talking about -- and it makes him drop the fun, overly-obnoxious act he puts on to question if she REALLY thinks he wouldn't recognize her, asked as if she thought he was that dumb. and again, one of his last lines in you didn't know ;; "did you ever think your little girlfriend might be a liar? " he was already pretty angry by this point, but while it's definitely condescending, the delivery of this line makes adam sound almost angry FOR charlie, and i feel like how sure adam was that exposing vaggie would damage her and charlie's relationship beyond repair only emphasizes that. i mean, one of his first formative experiences was being cheated on. it only follows that being lied to, ESPECIALLY about something so important, would be a dealbreaker in adam's mind.
but i find it especially interesting that "don't lie" isn't on adam's list of what he believes gets someone into heaven. and this isn't about lying specifically, but i also think it's interesting that "don't kill" isn't on that list, either. he's a massive hypocrite in other aspects, but murder is something he has nuanced feelings about. killing another person is a situational case, but not theft. it's so interesting.
#//i think the fun thing is a case can be made for “dont steal” being one of his hard rules#//its more difficult for him to see the nuances in modern society bc before he was in heaven (where isnt really a REASON to steal anything)#//he lived a life where stealing something for yourself could very well cause someone else's death#//and that “someone else” is part of his family 100% of the time#//hes never HAD to steal to survive. honestly i dont know that hed ever consider it as something ANYONE would have to do#//hes too disconnected from modern-day earth to think about it#//i LOVE thinking about his weird moral code and what is and isnt effected by his hypocrisy#//like yeah stick it to the man but only if “the man” isnt him or his superiors#//yes those are the same people that HE stuck it to when he was alive but its different shut up#//be selfless. except hes allowed to not do that when he wants something actually. but ONLY hes allowed to do that.#//murder is okay if he thinks its justified#//but god help you if he catches you lying or stealing. THOSE are no-no's.#˙⋆✮ 𝗶'𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲 𝗮 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙇𝙄𝙁𝙀 𓂋 character study ✮⋆˙
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⚽ The Grand Finale: Football Animation Series - Part 2 ⚽ Welcome to the thrilling conclusion of our Football Animation Series!
🏆⚽ For the past few weeks, we've embarked on a creative journey, bringing the world of football to life through animation. But we couldn't have done it alone! This project has been an incredible collaboration with another talented individual on Scratch, making it a true fusion of artistic vision and coding expertise. In this grand finale, get ready to witness the culmination of our hard work, dedication, and shared passion for both football and animation.
🎮🎨
🔹 The Power of Collaboration: Explore how our collaborative efforts brought this project to life. Discover how we combined our unique skills to create something truly extraordinary.
🔹 A Triumph of Creativity: Dive into the heart-pounding action as we unveil the final piece of this series. Experience the excitement, the drama, and the magic of football like never before.
🔹 Subscribe for More: If you've been following our journey, thank you for your support! And if you're new here, hit that subscribe button to stay tuned for future collaborations, creative endeavors, and more football magic!
#FootballAnimation #Collaboration #CreativeJourney
#⚽ The Grand Finale: Football Animation Series - Part 2 ⚽#Welcome to the thrilling conclusion of our Football Animation Series! 🏆⚽#For the past few weeks#we've embarked on a creative journey#bringing the world of football to life through animation. But we couldn't have done it alone! This project has been an incredible collabora#making it a true fusion of artistic vision and coding expertise.#In this grand finale#get ready to witness the culmination of our hard work#dedication#and shared passion for both football and animation. 🎮🎨#🔹 The Power of Collaboration: Explore how our collaborative efforts brought this project to life. Discover how we combined our unique skill#🔹 A Triumph of Creativity: Dive into the heart-pounding action as we unveil the final piece of this series. Experience the excitement#the drama#and the magic of football like never before.#🔹 Subscribe for More: If you've been following our journey#thank you for your support! And if you're new here#hit that subscribe button to stay tuned for future collaborations#creative endeavors#and more football magic!#FootballAnimation#Collaboration#CreativeJourney#AnimationFinale#FootballMagic#ArtAndCode#CollaborativeEffort#FootballPassion#CodingArtistry#GrandFinale#CreativeTeamwork
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it's a dak-wai post it got long. freeing it from the limbo of late night drafts
dak-wai's interest in remembering who they were diminishes pretty quickly after killing alfira, to a purely functional level of 'i need to understand what the hell is going on but there's definitely some things i Don't want to know.' after incidents such as 'i tried to remember how this cat knew me and when i came to the cat was dead' followed by Ah shit bhaal's my dad, by the time they're in baldur's gate they just don't want to know fucking anything anymore. and become a little fixated on killing orin and gortash as a way of also killing whoever they used to be, by getting rid of the last people who remember that person. guy who came back wrong but was already wrong in the first place.
i do think they're still pretty recognizable in behavior for people who knew them in the past. apart from the 'i'm not murdering in cold blood i'm doling out justice and enacting vengeance' thing. their interest in women who could/would kill them is the same lol
they've also always had an almost comical level of discomfort in social situations, which are easier to avoid when you're the head of a murder cult and less so when you're a wandering adventurer. they go into most conversations with the intent of getting out of them as soon as possible, speak softly in a very concise way, which combined with their general vibe ends up coming off intimidating (not always intentional). their first instinct is to view people, particularly themself, through the lens of usefulness. so they actually feel more comfortable around people who want something from them (preferably something violent which they view as the only thing they really can do). it takes a minute for them to get genuinely interested in getting to know/befriending other people and attempts to befriend them usually get met with one-word answers and uninterested looks.
they're fixated on self-control, ruthlessly efficient and methodical in accomplishing tasks, but work best when someone else tells them what to do. just with pre-game dak-wai this was usually applied to like, Dad says i gotta do vivisections and murder art while current dak-wai would eventually start gardening as a hobby to supplement their interest in alchemy, buy 20 books about soil acidity and planting seasons, and have a blood feud with weeds and garden pests. < still not totally sure what their canon ending is going to be actually.
so really, though i don't think this is something dak-wai would ever be comfortable thinking about and acknowledging themself, the Fundamental difference between them now and in the past is. getting overcome by The Urge and killing their foster parents -> having literally nothing and no one other than bhaal, orin, and associates who they are resigned to-resent-revere. the only thing they know is doing what their father wants, the only time they ever feel good/they allow themselves to feel good is when they're doing what their father wants, there was never any other option. it's what they were made for. vs getting a do-over in a different place and with different people where it becomes possible to establish their own identity and believe that they can choose who they are, have a value outside of immediate usefulness, and literally just Do other things than kill people. even if they're bad at those other things it's worth trying
also getting a wife (who is also learning how to find beauty in things and accept tenderness). and becoming worsties with gay ass vampire and forming kind of a tacit pact where either they both make each other worse or believe they can both be better
#dak-wai#the thing about dak-wai. and their understanding of themselves and their morality#is it comes down mostly to discomfort with feeling out of control whether it's their emotions/actions or other people's emotions/actions#so becoming a paladin is as much about. trying to appeal to a divine source for aid w/ whatever the fuck is going on as it is giving#themselves a strict code to adhere to but ALSO being able to control how people view them by presenting themselves as the image of a paladi#which people react to very differently compared to blood-covered huge half-orc with a flat affect being an object of distrust and fear#a significant part of their relationships w lae'zel and astarion is that they never really react with that revulsion or fear.#they acknowledge w/o (much) judgment. while other people have to Not Think Too Hard about dak-wai having yknow. killed alfira/isobel#although astarion also pisses them off constantly by saying shit like 'precious bhaal-babe' and being a cunt. they're like siblings to me#In the universe where lemming and dak-wai hang out. It's complicated
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