COUPLES HEADCANONS
THE SPENCER REID EDITION
Gives nose/forehead kisses
Spencer does! He prefers kissing you on the lips but doesn’t pass up giving you kisses anywhere else.
Gets jealous the most
You do, and Spencer does too. It’s not that either of you are disloyal it is more that you know how great the other is and wonder how they picked you out of everyone else
Picks the other up from the bar when they’re too drunk
Spencer does, and he’s got a tried and tested hangover cure ready in the morning for you. He makes sure you text or call him, there have been too many unsubs taking advantage of drunk people over the span of his career in the FBI.
Takes care of on sick days
You both do. Spencer might be a known germaphobe but he is a fountain of knowledge and that includes medical care, home remedies and more. You enjoy taking care of Spencer and make sure he’s rested, fed & medicated.
Drags the other person into the water on a beach day
You do, Spencer hates the beach. But he goes because he loves how you love it and he won’t pass up the sight of you in a bikini and seeing you wet from the waves
Gives unprompted massages
Spencer, he’s read a lot of books on traditional Chinese and Thai massage therapy among others and seeing your stressful career, he makes sure to take care you of however he can.
Who drives? Who rides shotgun?
You both switch. Spencer drives and so do you, but whenever you’re pregnant, an overprotective Spencer has you ride shotgun as you’re carrying very precious cargo.
Brings the other lunch at work
You do. Spencer will live off of extremely sugary coffee if he can, and end up eating antacids due to a ton of dairy products. So if he’s at Quantico, you bring him some vegan or dairy free lunch and catch up with him.
Has the better parental relationship
Spencer has a strained yet loving relationship with his mother and has no contact with his father. You have a loving relationship with your own parents but as you live and work in the D.C metro area, you are long distance.
Tries to start roleplaying in the bedroom
Spencer, kinky little genius! You take a while to come around to it, and refuse to roleplay Doctor Who in the bedroom.
Embarrassingly drunk dancer
You and Spencer are great drunk dancers whenever you are drunk.
Still cries watching Titanic
You do, and Spencer tries to cheer you up with random facts about the survivors of the actual accident.
Firmly believes in couples costumes
Spencer. He has you tag along with him and Penelope to ComicCon and while he dressed as the Fourth Doctor & Sarah Jane or as Jon Snow & Ygritte, or as Jack Skellington & Sally.
Breaks the expensive gift rule during Christmas
You do. It is very hard to find a good gift for Spencer and you usually get him a collector’s edition of something or first edition of a book or something signed by his favourite author or scientist.
Makes the other eat breakfast
You do. Spencer again skips breakfast or just eats a piece of toast or bowl of cereal. You make sure he eats something more heartier and healthier.
Remembers anniversaries
Spencer does, he never ever forgets it and always surprises you with the best he can.
Brings up having kids
Actually Spencer does, and it is a big thing for him to do so after his worries about the genetic changes of schizophrenia and/or Alzheimer’s Disease being passed on… but he realises how much he loves you, sees how much you love his godsons and realises he wants to be the father of your babies.
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October Sun
summary: Simon hadn't planned on committing expulsion-worthy crime at 10am on a Thursday. In fact, he hadn't planned on committing expulsion-worthy crime ever. In his defense, though, his best friend's ghost had been emphatic about getting into Mr. Anderson's phone, and it'd been the only course of action he could think of to prove she could rely on him. Simon had regretted it as soon as it'd happened. Fuck my life, I guess.
pairing: Wally Clark x fem!reader
warnings: panic attacks. eventual smutty smut smut. and mad spoilers. and obvious Canon divergence. very involved, very dense plot.
bon reading, frens
___________________________💀
OCTOBER SUN pt.17
Simon found you at your locker at the tail-end of lunch, trading sketchbooks for your copy of Frankenstein and your English binder. Mathilda stood beside you, merrily outlining her upcoming interview with an administrator from some posh, East Coast art academy.
You smiled and nodded in the appropriate places; giggled when Mathilda commented on something Hana had said at lunch. However, Simon noted, you weren't offering a lot in the way of conversation.
Mathilda clocked Simon first, lengthened her short frame as much as she could—spine straight, shoulders back, chin up—and leveled him with a look that could boil water. It took him a second to remember they shared History. That she'd been in Ms. Fields' class when Simon had accused Xavier of hurting Maddie and had forced the contents of Xavier's backpack to spill in front of an audience.
He wanted to pretend her hostility toward him didn't sting—because it didn't, right? They weren't friends. Mathilda hadn't shown anything but superficial interest in him since Xavier and Maddie became XavierandMaddie. To her, Simon was Maddie's plus-one. The guy Maddie took everywhere she went. Linus' security blanket in human form.
Of course, that reality only existed if Simon completely disregarded that it'd been Mathilda who'd always asked after Simon; had extended every invitation to join them for group events. She'd driven Simon home on multiple occasions, even when it'd made more sense that Hana and Lucas would have since they shared a neighborhood.
Shit, maybe he and Mathilda were friends? He'd never considered it before. How you and Mathilda and—aw crap that's right: Eli—had made significant efforts to get to know Simon. Had welcomed him into the fold of pre-established friendship and encouraged him to carve out his own place within it.
And to show his appreciation, Simon had lunged after Xavier like a vendetta with claws.
Simon waved at Mathilda weakly, eyes darting away from hers when she doubled down and fiercened her glower. Despite his height advantage, Simon considered running to the Philippines to stay with his aunt. He'd request a room with reinforced steel walls and a couple of security guards outside the door, just in case.
Did Mathilda have her passport? He should ask.
"I'm gonna head to Media," Mathilda announced before you were even aware of Simon's presence. "I'll see you in Bio." She flipped her long, purple-black hair, deliberately whipping Simon in the face with the ends as she swanned by.
"Later gator," You replied, offhand, shutting your locker and, "Oh, hey," catching Simon as he slunk into the space Mathilda had vacanted.
Simon watched Mathilda warily until she disappeared into the stream of students. Partly because he felt a weird kind of fucked up for not having sooner recognized the olive branch of friendship Mathilda had been brandishing, but mostly because he was batshit terrified she'd reappear just to punch him in the nuts.
Needing a second opinion, he blurted, "Are Mathilda and I friends?"
You startled, spluttering around an answer before reminding him, "Didn't you go with her and Eli to Comiccon when everyone else bailed?"
Holy shit. With everything going on, Simon had genuinely forgotten about that adventure. Xavier was 'too cool'. Maddie and Nicole hadn't been interested, you'd been visiting your dad in England and, well, he didn't know why Hana and Lucas had backed out, but Simon had been given Lucas' ticket. Told to treat it like a months-late birthday present.
Mathilda knew when his birthday was.
Simon groaned and hit the back of his head on the locker he leaned against. "I fucked up."
"You really didn't think she thought of you as her friend?"
"No comment." Simon pinched the bridge of his nose. Watched stars explode behind his eyes when he rubbed his lids with the pads of his thumb and forefinger.
After a short lull, you asked, "You know we're friends, right?"
"Yes?" Simon replied, the upward lilt of punctuation prompting a sour expression to your face.
"You're an idiot."
Simon readjusted so he was tilted on his shoulder, putting every ounce of apology he had in him behind his next words, "I'm sorry. I just...I figured you guys let me hang out because Maddie and I are a package deal."
Were, a voice not unlike Maddie's unhelpfully corrected, we were a package deal.
"I repeat: You're an idiot." But you said it with humor, giving Simon a crooked smile and a harmless whack to the arm. "Look, none of us pretend we're as close to you as you are to Maddie, but, Si, that doesn't mean we wouldn't help you hide a—" Body.
Simon saw the instant your brain caught up to your mouth and suddenly you curled into yourself; crossed your arms and ducked your chin into your chest.
"I didn't mean it like that."
"Hey, it's okay." For the first time in a long time (perhaps the first time ever), Simon reached out to you, put a hand on your shoulder, and squeezed. "I get it." Quiet, touched, "Thank you."
"You're welcome. And don't worry," You assured him, "Tilly won't hold it against you forever. Once we expose Mr. A and clear Xavier's name, she'll forget what you did to him."
"If you say so," Simon muttered. Belatedly, he registered, "Mr. A?" He hadn't heard anyone refer to Mr. Anderson as Mr. A and, as far as he knew, the only teachers to earn a friendly nickname from their senior classmates were Mrs. Bloom, the Drama teacher, and Mr. Fitzgerald, the band director. Bloomageddon and Fitz-G respectively.
You carried on as if Simon hadn't said anything, "Speaking of clearing Zav's name, I have an idea. But we'll have to do it after school when he's busy with Booster Club."
Simon remembered then why he'd sought you out, shifting to curl a hand around the phone in his sweater pocket.
"His fingerprints have to be all over that money," You explained in a stage whisper, "If we can get it to the police, they'll have to arrest him." You nudged closer when Simon didn't say anything, somehow reading him like a picture book, "Or...you have a different plan?"
Taking a fortifying breath, Simon volunteered, "I'm gonna show you something, and you can't freak out."
Dubious, "Oh-kay~."
He leaned closer, gently turned you so there was a little cave of privacy between both your bodies and the lockers. You glanced around, checking for possible eavesdroppers, before giving Simon your full attention and, damn, being on the receiving end made Simon's pulse quicken a little.
He shoved the thought aside before it could gain any ground, unwilling to make room within himself for anything that didn't directly impact locating Maddie's body.
"You can trust me, Simon."
"I know," He said, though he still needed a moment to build the confidence to show you what he'd done.
Although you'd already proven you were in this with him, willing to drown in the same dark pool of questions to resolve Maddie's murder. Although you'd obviously spent time and energy constructing a plan that, upon hearing it, Simon had to concede was a lot smarter than what he'd done. Although you'd admitted you and he were friends and you'd help him cover up a crime at the drop of a hat...
Simon was scared. Scared that he'd done the wrong thing; that he'd get expelled; that he'd hallucinated his best friend and had stolen someone's property because, oh fuck, he had a brain tumor or dormant schizophrenia or—
"Breathe." You ordered, hand flattened over Simon's heart, taking long, deep breaths of your own for Simon to mimic.
And, oh God, you'd lifted his hand from his pocket as he'd been spiraling, pressed it to your chest so he could feel the steadiness of your heartbeat under his palm. Placed safely above inappropriate, warm skin and hard bone, rising and falling slowly as you talked in a calming rhythm.
He sucked in a shuddery breath, then another, and another, lungs finally expanding to accommodate the air he so desperately needed. It took another minute for the spots in his vision to recede, another minute after that for embarrassment to flush under his skin like a sunburn.
"Sorry." He gasped, taking his hand back and returning it to his pocket. "I..."
"Stop thinking, Simon." You said in an aloe-vera tone, the sound of it cooling the hot prickle of humiliation before it calcified. "Are you okay?"
You'd asked him that almost every day since the APEX. Hell, just last night you'd made sure he was okay to drive home after your sister had called you in for dinner.
"Yeah." He said, not sure how much he meant it, but decidedly averse to unpacking his trauma in a semi-crowded hallway. "Thanks for..." What? "For that." He ended lamely and cast his gaze to his feet.
With a distinct note of sadness, you admitted, "Xavier spent a year helping me...breathe."
And Simon was grateful that you phrased it that way, suddenly drained and unable to receive another frank overture of support.
"So, what am I not freaking out about?"
Simon could kiss you, seriously. "Right, yeah." He made sure no one was watching when he pulled out Mr. Anderson's phone and held it between you and him.
You raised an eyebrow, "You want me not to freak out about your phone?"
"Not mine," Simon murmured, "Mr. Anderson's. I grabbed it off his desk this morning."
Without missing a beat, "Is it locked?"
Simon almost did kiss you then, a fizzy cocktail of so damn grateful and so damn pleased that you didn't immediately chew his head off and spit it out in front of Principal Hartman.
"Yeah. And I don't have the code. But if we can find out who he was talking to last night—"
"—We might find out what happened to Maddie." You finished, nodding like it was the simplest thing in the world. "Alright. I bet there's a YouTube tutorial for hacking into phones." Simon hadn't thought of that.
"I'll look into it. I've got a free period 'til sixth, I'll see what I can find."
"Good." You stared at the phone, eyes narrowing, "You turned it off, right?"
"No..?" Simon said as he stuffed the phone back in his pocket.
Alarmed, "Simon, if he has that Find My Phone app, he's going to catch you! You could get expelled! You need to turn it off now!"
That was another excellent point Simon hadn't thought of.
"Alright, I read you loud and clear, Major Tom, I'm turning it off." He appeased and pulled the phone out again.
"I swear to God, Simon, if you get expelled and leave me alone in this giant pile of shit, I'm gonna end up going after him with a—" You stopped before you revealed what manner of weapon you'd use, diverting yourself to, "With the threat of bodily harm."
Simon looked you up and down, uncertain how effective that would be.
"Fine." You yielded, "I'd sic Tilly on him."
Simon snorted, the image as horrifying as it was awesome. He briefly wondered if you and he shouldn't recruit Mathilda to the investigation. She was tenacious and clever and probably knew a thing or two since her mother was a big-shot lawyer who commuted to the city every morning to prosecute criminals.
"Why wasn't that our first plan?" He joked and then returned his attention to the phone.
Just as he was about to press the button to turn the damn thing off, a throat cleared behind him, followed by an unsettlingly pacified voice.
"Simon Elroy?"
Ms. Chung. The grief counselor.
Fuck his whole life, front to back.
He quickly hid the phone in his pocket and spun around, forgot that you and he had been stood particularly close until he heard you grunt, his backpack knocking you in the chest.
"Um, yes?" He answered politely while inside he cursed that he couldn't plead for you not to leave him alone with her.
"Can I have a word, please?" Ms. Chung asked, the inferred privately directed over his shoulder at you. Her open expression didn't falter, even as Simon began to stumble over a half-baked excuse. "This will only take a moment," She assured and took a meaningful step closer.
You came around and bumped Simon's shoulder with yours. Friendly, casual, except that your gaze was fixed on Ms. Chung. Something unpleasant churned beneath the public face of respect you gave her, and if Simon didn't know better, he'd think she'd committed some sort of offense against you.
Ms. Chung, on the other hand, seemed unperturbed, returning your odd standoffishness with a serene, Woodstock smile.
Had you already been to see her?
At last, "I'll see you in Psych," you said and excused yourself, leaving Simon woefully alone for Ms. Chung to poke, prod, pry his feelings out of him one by one.
It was fine. He was fine. He'd let her say her piece, tell her what she wanted to hear to get her off his back and be on his way.
Ms. Chung's eyes glittered and her smile grew teeth.
Simon audibly gulped.
💀___________________________
PART SIXTEEN - PART EIGHTEEN
also available on AO3!
MASTERLIST
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Jensen: What's up?
Jared: Good morning, Austin.
Jensen: Austin, Texas! C'mon!
Jared: Who lives here? That was loud. Who lives in Texas? Who doesn't? What's wrong with y'all?
Jensen: Well you guys picked the perfect month to come here 'cause it's -
Jared: Lovely outside.
Jensen: Just, just lovely.
Jared: Apologies for the weather, for sure.
Jensen: Yeah, yeah, next year we're gonna do January in Winnipeg, which is [makes a-okay sign] beautiful.
Jared: Sounds lovely.
Jensen: Well, we're missing [taps third microphone between them]
Jared: Somebody [also taps]
Jensen: Because I think he's still doing some photos, so he will be along shortly.
Audience member: Here he comes!
Jensen: What? What? Oh! Jeffrey Dean Morgan on the stage!
Jeff: [hugs Jared, hugs Jensen, waves to crowd]
Jared: The one that [?].
Jensen: 'Sup pop?
Jeff: Mornin'!
Jensen: Buddy, how you doin'?
Jeff: Since I last saw you, good. You?
Jensen: Good.
Jeff: Were you overseas?
Jensen: Yeah.
Jeff [to Jared]: Were you overseas?
Jared: I was not recently, but I was. But a month ago. A couple weeks ago, let's go with that. Yeah yeah yeah, not last year, 2005.
Jensen: I haven't been home since I saw you.
Jeff: Yeah, I haven't either.
Jensen: We were together in San Diego, the big ComicCon there.
Jeff: Or as I like to call it, the announcing of Jensen's nine million shows. That was cool. I went home that night, or back to the hotel or whatever and Norman - I was with Norman - and he was like, tell me about this Jensen. 'Cause he's got the world by the balls. And I'm like, I know. And he's like, is he married? I'm like, are you asking for yourself?
Jared: Did Norman want Jensen to have Norman by the balls as well?
Jeff: Yeah, I've never seen Norman, like, really jealous. And I gotta say - he just was - he wouldn't stop talking about ya. I had to pull out a picture of Danneel and say he's not available!
Jensen: I sat across from Norman at your wedding and we had a really lovely conversation and you know it was cool to get to - I mean, I'd met him before, but it was cool to sit and chat with him. But it was, you know, it was just that normal kind of banter and stuff but it -
Jeff: Well, and since then also he binged - I don't know if he ever watched Supernatural - but he binged The Boys. And I think that changed his whole thing, too. He's so star-struck by Jensen.
Jensen: Well, to be fair, I was a little star-struck at your wedding by him. Just 'cause I was, like, Boondock Saints is one of my favorite movies of all time. And so I was trying to just keep my cool in front of him, so that's, uh -
Jeff: Well, you did a good job. All around, all around you did a good job. Jensen also was, like, my preacher. He got a little rolling stone official piece of paper that said it was like, legal - I think? Am I really married?
Jensen: No, I got ordained and they actually sent me, like, a priest shirt with a collar. Like the [gestures at neck] - I didn't wear that. But yeah, no, you can get ordained online, it's the Church of Life or something in case any of you would like to become ordained?
Jared: Anybody wanna get married today? We got a guy.
Jensen: That's right, [holds up hand] I've got a certificate.
Jared [to audience member]: Do it, do it.
Jensen: No, that was a one and done for me.
Jared [still to audience]: Congratu- Well I got one, too! [gestures at wedding ring]
Jeff: He's married! [pointing at Jared]
Jared: So is she, she's got her [gestures at ring]
Jeff: Official [gestures at Jensen] - oh. If we were in Utah, I'd say go for it. [Jared grabs his shoulder]
Jensen: You're all invited to Norman and my's wedding.
Jeff: Can I get ordained for that?
Jensen: Yes.
Jared: 100%.
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