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wanderinginksplot · 10 months

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Refuge Chapter Five

Continued slowburn Delta Squad x fem!reader fic

You deliberate the choices the Jedi Council gave you... with a little help from Delta Squad

Word Count: 4,000 words.

Warnings: Homesickness and brotherly bickering.

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We have a fancy new fic image! Mostly because there are so few high-quality Delta Squad gifs. (Due to the original game's quality, NOT gif-makers, who are all incredible!) Enjoy!

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Deliberation

The Jedi Temple was amazing.

No one had told you whether you were allowed to wander the halls and explore the rooms, but - given that you had first been discovered by the Jedi while you did exactly that in the GAR’s hangar - the fact that they hadn’t explicitly said not to was more telling. At least, that was what you told yourself as you wandered around the Temple.

The space was expansive, and you found yourself wondering how it all managed to fit into crowded Coruscant, but that mystery was solved when you heard someone make a comment in passing about how the Temple extended slightly into the second level. That had sent you down a different path while you learned about the way Coruscant was set up. The Jedi in charge of the Temple’s archives - Master Jocasta Nu - had been thrilled with your quest for information, and had shown you how to retrieve the necessary files to read on one of the archive’s datapads.

That had been how you spent much of your first full day on Coruscant, but you had been learning the layout of the Temple the remainder of the time and all of your second day. You had been warned by several occupants that the labyrinthine Temple could be confusing and to be sure to ask someone if you became confused. Whether they were just looking for a way to keep an eye on you or a building simply wasn’t challenging after finding your way through dense forests most of your life, you didn’t find it as confusing as they had implied.

You had already known a few places, of course. The Jedi Council chamber was at the top of the temple, positioned so the Council could see out and across the surrounding city. You avoided that area, but made your way to the cafeteria at meal times. You knew about the clothing supply and the sewing room already and didn’t feel the need to spend more time there. Even ignoring the sections you were familiar with, the Temple had so much else to see.

You explored instruction rooms and training areas, spaces that seemed to help prepare for lightsaber use and ones that were meant to simulate battlefields. There were some rooms that were perfectly empty and ready for anything at all. The Temple held more gardens than you were truly capable of understanding, each one reflecting a different climate and the plants that would grow well there. There were kitchens and kennels, rooms filled with music and areas set aside to memorialize those who had come before.

You rushed through some areas, like the mock strategy centers and battleships, trying not to look like someone gathering information for the Separatists. Despite their warm welcome, you were sure some Jedi would be suspicious of you, and you couldn’t blame them.

And then there were places where you spent a little more time. A large creche filled with younglings kept you occupied for a while, playing with and helping care for the occupants and generally assisting the Jedi there. You found a huge space that seemed to be a farm filled with teenage Jedi and, by exploring it, you learned about the agricorps and what happened to the young Jedi who weren’t chosen to be someone’s padawan.

There was also a large garage-like space you wandered into that was filled with pieces of droids. Diagrams on the walls showed the best ways to dismantle different droids, and a few of every kind seemed set up for practice. Those droids were well-loved, a few even bearing paint and - on one B-1 - a nametag. Its name appeared to be Clank.

Not all of the rooms were for everyone, though. You had steered clear of a few areas meant for different species. There had been signs for underwater meditation rooms and a passing Jedi had welcomed you inside, but the idea of being around a large amount of water made you uncomfortable. You hadn’t even attempted to go inside the rooms that offered varying changes to the level of oxygen. Master Plo Koon had nodded as he slipped inside, presumably preparing to remove his oxygen-filtering mask for a short amount of time.

On that note, even for a Jedi Temple, you found a truly mind-boggling number of meditation rooms. In addition to the underwater meditation chamber, there were ones specializing in warmth, coolness, silence, noise, floating, and other criteria that made no sense to you.

Eventually, you ended up in a room that was doing its best to simulate a mountainous climate. There were trees everywhere. You half-expected them to feel false, especially when you sat under one, but it seemed real enough. You settled against the trunk and listened to the sound of a nearby stream. If the room was an illusion, it was a good one. When you closed your eyes, you could almost imagine that the birdsong was familiar and that you were home on Voubos, enjoying a late afternoon walk before you needed to return home.

Your eyes stayed closed and your breathing fell into a steady rhythm. In your mind, the landscape changed from the inside of an expansive room to the forests of Voubos. You had wandered out for a little exploring, maybe foraging for part of the lunch that you had sat down to eat. When you opened your eyes, you would be there. It was only a short walk back to your home with its familiar gardens and cheerful yellow door. Maybe you would read a book before you sorted out dinner. Or maybe you would do some knitting. Your mind felt tired, and the familiar motions of yarn and needles would soothe you.

You had told Barriss that you didn’t meditate and that was still true, but if meditation was anything similar to the half-trance you put yourself into, maybe it held some merit. The back of your mind stayed firmly in place, cognizant of your real surroundings and situation, but part of you was transported to Voubos, pretending the Separatist invasion had never happened. It was relaxing and your whirring mind felt like it could relax for the first time in far too long.

Eventually, though, someone entered the room and you opened your eyes. The young Jedi walking through the door looked politely curious rather than suspicious of you, but you still decided that it would be best if you left.

As you moved down to the main floors of the Temple, you heard an odd conversation ahead. You were almost tempted to call it an argument, but neither side sounded combative. Instead, the calm voice of a Jedi could be heard countering someone else who seemed to be extremely business-like.

The not-quite-confrontation wasn’t in your direct path and it certainly wasn’t any of your business. You weren’t a Jedi and couldn’t help the situation in any meaningful way. That being said, you were a naturally curious person and you had nothing else to occupy your time in the Temple.

Especially since, in the haze of your almost-meditation, you had come to terms with the idea that your exploration was really a way to avoid pondering the opportunities you had been offered.

You changed directions to walk toward the discussion. Surely it wouldn’t hurt anything if you walked through the area and tried to find out what was happening. In fact, your gossip-loving Voubosian roots demanded it.

With that decision made, you ducked slightly through a side hallway to catch a glimpse of the conversation. It was indeed a Jedi - not one of the Jedi on the Council, but one you had seen around the Temple. And she was speaking with-

“...Fixer?” you asked incredulously.

You had never seen any of the troopers caught off-guard, but Fixer turned to look at you so quickly that you were worried for his neck.

“What are you doing here?” you continued when he didn’t immediately say anything. The Jedi just watched silently.

“Trying to find you,” Fixer grumbled. “We were worried when we didn’t hear from you.”

“How would I contact you? I don’t have a comlink or your frequency.”

“Good point,” Fixer conceded reluctantly. “Come on, we need to go find the others.”

“But the-” As you spoke, you turned to look at the Jedi, ready to offer an explanation for Fixer’s presence in the Temple. However, she was gone, having tactfully faded away into another part of the Temple.

“Let’s go,” Fixer repeated, already walking away. He raised his wrist to his mouth. “Found her.”

“Rendezvous at Room 27-A,” his comlink crackled.

“You said the others are here?” you asked, walking faster in an attempt to keep up with Fixer. “Why?”

“Did you miss the part when I said we were worried about you?” Fixer said sharply. “We all decided to search the Temple. It’s faster when we split up. Especially since we had no way to contact you and no way of knowing which room was yours.”

That made sense and you followed Fixer’s broad shoulders the rest of the way in silence.

Room 27-A was on the main floor of the Temple, but set away from the entrance. It was one of the unoccupied rooms, seemingly set aside for meetings or maybe impromptu meditation sessions. By the time you and Fixer stepped inside, the rest of Delta Squad was already waiting for you.

“Finally!” Scorch said, grinning at you. “Didja miss us?”

“You look like you’re doing well,” Boss observed, ignoring Scorch entirely.

“Thought you might have died,” Sev added.

You smiled at the group, surprised at how pleased you were to see these commandos. “Thank you guys for coming here! Fixer said you were worried about me. Is everything okay?"

"You tell us," Boss said steadily, cutting through the disgruntled noises Sev and Scorch made toward their brother. "The Jedi made you an interesting offer. What do you think you'll decide?"

You let out a sigh. "I've been asking myself that for two days and I don't have an answer."

"Is there even a debate?" Sev demanded, voice harsh with derision.

"Uh…" you wavered, unsure whether that lack of debate was supposed to prove that the clear choice was going with them or staying with the Jedi. Delta Squad had been welcoming, but they were also insistent that you should stay away from any action.

Fixer rolled his eyes. "Leave her alone, Oh-Seven. She's just trying to think over all of her options before she makes a choice."

"Of course you would think that's a good idea," Scorch snipped sarcastically. "You'd triple-check your decision to take a piss if you had the chance."

Fixer gave a glare so burning that you, an innocent bystander, cringed from the heat. Thankfully, Boss interrupted before anyone could continue the argument.

"Men," he said, tone stern and commanding. "This conversation ends now."

Fixer closed his mouth and gave a tight nod. Sev nodded as well, the muscles in his jaw dancing. Scorch shook his head and complained, "You never let us have any fun, Boss."

Boss, ignoring the men entirely, focused on you. "Whatever decision you make, it'll impact your life. One way or the other, it has to be your choice, not anyone else's."

You tipped your head at him, willing to obey his order. You couldn't claim to know exactly how Boss had gotten his name, but that commanding presence had to have been part of it.

“Now,” Boss continued, “you wanna show us around this place?”

You gladly led Delta Squad around the Temple for a while until Scorch had dropped several obvious hints about being hungry, then you brought them to the cafeteria where Barriss had taken you on that first day.

“Did any of the Jedi say anything about why they offered to let you work with us?” Fixer asked. Boss sent him a dirty look but didn’t berate him for asking. Scorch and Sev watched with anticipation.

“I asked, actually,” you admitted. “They sensed a bond between us. Nothing permanent or serious, but they know that we’re friends. Friendly, I mean. Well-”

“Don’t go being all flowery on our account,” Scorch told you, pressing a hand to his chest like he had been deeply wounded by your self-correction. “Of course we’re friends. We’re not in the business of rescuing people we hate.”

“Except all the times we’re ordered to,” Sev added.

“And you weren’t ordered to rescue me?” you checked.

“No, but don’t let that go to your head,” Scorch warned, wiggling his fork at you.

You hesitated, unsure of how to take that, but Scorch laughed uproariously at his own statement and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Did the jetiise say why they offered to train you?” Boss asked, seeming willing to discuss your situation now that Fixer had brought it up.

You lifted a shoulder in a half-shrug. “They didn’t say much more than they said in the Council meeting. I’ve been through a trauma and they think I’ll need some training on controlling my Force connection so I don’t lash out in an unexpected way. And they’ll train me to work on stealth missions even if I don’t choose to be attached to your squad. Apparently, being able to sneak by most people is one of my natural Force abilities, so it wouldn’t take much training to learn that.”

“And then you would be a Jedi?” Fixer asked, frowning slightly.

“No, not at all,” you denied instantly with a chuckle. “I’m much too old for the right training. I’ll never be an actual Jedi. They would just teach me the basics of control and how to use my abilities to help me survive - whether that’s in a battle zone or in normal life - then I’ll be done. They said they would help place me somewhere I could help the Jedi Order if I want, or I can set out as a civilian. Or I can do something here that doesn’t require being a Jedi. An assistant in the kitchens or the archives, maybe.”

“And none of that stands out to you?” The oddly intense question came from Sev, who eyed you with something close to understanding.

“No, not really,” you admitted. “Let me ask you all a question, though: what do you think about the Jedi offering a civilian a place on your team? As far as I know, that isn’t typical and they didn’t consult you.”

One of the things that the Separatist propaganda had emphasized was that the Republic’s army was made up of clones. They had planted people on Voubos to speak about meeting clones and talk about how chilling it was to see the same face and mannerisms repeated so many times. That had been contradicted the first time you met Delta Squad. Yes, they looked similar, but they all acted so incredibly different that you couldn’t help but think of them as being individuals.

The look they shared at your question didn’t run counter to that observation. Instead, it just reminded you that these men had been working, training, and living together since birth. It looked more similar to a behavior you would expect to see from a group of close siblings than anything that smacked of them being clones.

It was only because you were watching so closely that you saw Scorch put on a carefree attitude. “Always nice to have someone to show off for.”

There was more he wasn’t saying, your gut told you that much, but you didn’t feel confident enough to call him on the lie. Instead, you just turned your attention to the others at the table.

“You’ve shown that you’re willing to help people,” Fixer said, a slight frown growing on his face. “Not sure how well that would translate to the battlefield, though.”

“If any civvie could keep up with us, it’s her,” Sev argued. You were so startled by the unexpected support that you didn’t even argue with the fact that he was speaking about you rather than directly to you.

“I’m more worried about how things would work,” Boss said, his gaze heavy on you. It was hard to meet those eyes, but you managed. “You’ve shown that you don’t follow orders well. If you came along as a civvie expert or some kind of Jedi apprentice, you’re still not a general. I’m in charge of this squad, and I would need to know that you can be trusted to do as you’re told.”

The urge to immediately defend yourself was strong, but you fought it back. Boss deserved more than a rote assurance. All of them did.

“I would like to tell you that I would follow orders without question or hesitation, but I won’t lie to you,” you started, keenly aware of the way they all exchanged another glance. “I’m not used to obeying anyone but myself. What I can tell you is that I’ll do my best to learn how. If there’s anything I can do to help you complete your missions, I’ll do it.”

The silence was thick and heavy, eventually broken by Fixer. “What could you do, though? You’re good with stealth, but you have no combat training, no weapons training. All due respect, but you would be a liability.”

“Maybe I would,” you admitted readily. “But I know how to move through an area quickly and silently. I know how to blend in and gather information. I know how to find trustworthy people. Those skills have to be helpful in some way, right?”

“Maybe,” Boss agreed slowly. “But if they’re not?”

“Then I’ll tell the Jedi I just want to stay here,” you offered. “If you don’t want me to come along, I won’t. Simple as that.”

“Why would you do that?” Scorch asked, leaning forward with an uncharacteristically intense expression on his handsome face. “Why would you leave an important decision about your future to four commandos you barely know?”

“You saved my life,” you told them with a shrug. “Seems like you should get some say in what I do with it. I owe you.”

“That makes no sense,” Sev argued. “You saved us first, gave us a place to stay. We’re square.”

“Huh, true.” You pretended to think about that for a moment, fighting back a grin as you shrugged. “Kark off, then.”

The group fell deathly silent, watching you with various levels of shock and dismay until a sharp laugh from Sev broke the crackling atmosphere. Scorch fell into laughter a moment later, Fixer grinned, and even Boss cracked a smile. You laughed along with them, much harder than the joke itself had merited, but the release of tension was a relief for everyone.

“I still think you need to make your own choices about your future,” Boss said eventually when things had settled down once more. “I don’t want any of us trying to influence you one way or another… but, if it were up to me, I’d be willing to have you onboard.”

Your eyebrows shot upward, your jaw wanting to drop with surprise, but Boss held up a hand. “It would be on a trial basis only. I need to make sure you know: one disobeyed order - a single one - and I’ll have you back here learning how to meditate with younglings before you can say, ‘sorry, Boss’.”

“Yes, sir,” you agreed with a salute.

Boss watched you with a frown. “We’d have to teach you how to do a proper salute, too.”

“Dibs,” Sev and Scorch claimed at the exact time.

“She hasn’t made a decision yet,” Fixer reminded them.

“And we’ll leave her to it,” Boss said sharply. “Are we finished here, men?”

“Yeah, but I think she should show us her room,” Scorch tossed out. “You know, in case we can’t reach her for another two days.”

“Not a bad idea,” Boss agreed, glancing at you. “We’ll walk you back to your room and then we’ll let you make up your mind on your own.”

The last few words were pointedly directed at the rest of Delta Squad, but you felt their weight connecting with your chest like they had been stones tossed your way. Boss had been right earlier. Whatever you decided, you would have to live with it. Either you stayed here to learn from the Jedi and took a position helping them out, leaving Delta Squad to fend for themselves in the field, or you went along with them. There was a very high likelihood you would die on a mission, especially since you were admittedly a liability unless you learned several important skills very quickly.

You stood up from the table a little too quickly, but no one commented on it. Instead, they asked questions about the Temple the entire way to your quarters, discussing each of your answers in-depth. It was a good excuse to keep your speech to a minimum, though you did your best to pay attention to their amusing comments.

In the end, Delta Squad left you alone at the door of your room. Boss reminded you to carefully think everything over, Fixer nodding behind him all the while. Sev just watched you and Scorch gave an exuberant wink. You waved as they walked away.

A moment later, a frantic tapping at your door brought you back. It was Scorch. You opened the door enough to step out, scanning the hallway behind him. The rest of Delta Squad was absent, and Scorch was alone.

“Scorch? Is everything-?”

“You should come with us,” he interrupted breathlessly, dark eyes sparkling with excitement. “It’ll be fun! And we’ll keep an eye out for you. Just think of all the places you’ll be able to see with us. I mean, most of them are war zones, but… But we’ll be there! And you like us. Just keep in mind that you’re getting all of this in the bargain-”

Scorch’s gesture to his own face was interrupted as Sev appeared behind him and smacked the back of his head. “Di’kut. Boss told us to leave her alone.”

“Yeah, so what are you doing here?” Scorch shot back.

“Bringing you back with the rest of us,” Sev explained exasperatedly. “There are only four of us. Did you really think Boss wasn’t gonna notice when you snuck off?”

“There was a chance,” Scorch told him sullenly.

Sev rolled his eyes. “Go while I repair your damage, vod.”

Scorch glanced back at you, giving you the most pleading look you had ever seen on a grown man. “Just think about what I said!”

“Go,” Sev barked.

When Scorch had reluctantly ambled down the hallway, you bit back a smile and told Sev, “You really don’t have to repair any damage. Everything is fine.”

“I know,” Sev replied easily. “I just came back to give you these.”

He passed you a bag holding something that clacked together lightly as he moved. You must have looked as confused as you felt, because Sev relented and offered an explanation. “They’re vambraces.”

“Oh, great!” you said cheerily, trying to disguise the fact that you were still confused. “Thank you!”

“That’s armor, civvie,” Sev sighed, tapping his forearms. “These pieces here. The left one has a comlink in it and the right one has a locator. In case we need to contact you or you get lost in this temple, respectively. They’re yours no matter what you decide, but… try not to lose ‘em.”

He turned and walked away before you could say anything else. You smiled at his back as you stepped back inside your room once more.

It was just as well that you hadn’t opened the bag when Sev was still there. He probably wouldn’t have appreciated your harsh gasp or the tears that had filled your eyes as you reverently fished the vambraces out and put them on.

They had been carefully painted the exact shade that your front door had been. The brightness of the yellow against your bare, impersonal room in the Jedi Temple made you feel centered for the first time since you had seen the smoldering remains of your home.

Just like that, the weight of decision-making disappeared from your shoulders. You were going with Delta Squad.

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Author's Note - Was this intended to be a full chapter? Absolutely not. But combining it with anything else was just a little chaotic, so this one stands as its own, rather slow chapter. On the plus side, that means the next chapter shouldn't take nearly as long to finish!

Thank you for reading! You can find other works on my masterlist or sign up for my taglist here. Have a great day!

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