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aperrywilliams · 1 month

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If Anything, I Find it Educative (Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader)

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Author Masterlist

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Part 1: If Anything I Find It Educative

Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t

Part 3: Douchebag Falls Short in This Case

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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader.

Summary: Spencer is not happy attending the annual FBI Gala this year. Having to socialize with a woman who only wants to seduce him makes it worse. But one not-so-fortunate incident could improve his night somehow.

Word Count: 6.8k

Warnings: Awkward Spencer. Morgan is stubborn about Spencer getting 'game.' Spencer spills facts about seafood (oysters), human biting, and cheating. Mention to Spencer's dick (only a phrase). Someone choking on food is described. A toxic relationship and job insecurities are described too. If I forgot something, let me know.

A/N: Okay, people. This is kind of an experiment: I want to know how you think the relationship between Spencer and Reader might evolve (if it evolves at all). Good friends? Romantic relationship rom-com style? An angsty romantic relationship? Friends to lovers? Just lovers? What important things do you imagine could happen to them? (canon or not). What could be the Reader's whole back story?

This is just a one-shot, but I am considering continuing it based on your thoughts and suggestions.

Part 2

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Spencer's POV

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There are few things I hate more than being surrounded by many people at an event. Standing in the middle of a crowded party dressed in formal attire is one of them.

It is an uncomfortable occasion highlighted by uncomfortable clothes.

And this time, it's Hotch's fault.

Tonight, I should have been at home, wrapped in a cozy blanket and enjoying my new edition of War and Peace. But the annual FBI gala and Hotch's adamant request blew my plans.

"Strauss wants to see the whole team at the venue this year. And we are in a very thin line with her to ignore her wishes."

No one seemed conflicted with the idea of attending this fancy party. Even some of my teammates looked excited about it. While JJ and Garcia chatted animatedly for days about what dress they would choose, Morgan saw it as a chance to get to know the new female agents working at Counterterrorism. Rossi only wanted to know how good the scotch would be this year, and Prentiss took it as an excuse to have free drinks. For his part, Hotch seemed as calm as any day at work.

But me? I wasn't excited at all.

Reluctantly, I purchased a tuxedo for the gala. At first, I thought about renting one since I would hardly use it again. But my germophobic self made me think again, and I decided the expense would at least make me feel less uncomfortable.

Keyword: a little less uncomfortable.

Now, I'm standing at the entrance, scanning the venue, searching for a familiar face. The place is packed with agents from all divisions and their plus ones, so it's hard to find anything at all.

But a familiar voice pulls me from my struggle.

"Boy genius! Over here!"

Penelope is calling my name from a table in the corner. As my gaze lands on her, I can see Morgan, Emily, JJ, and Hotch there too.

A sigh of relief escapes my lips, and quickly, I stroll where my teammates are.

"Spence! You made it!" JJ greets me as I pull a chair next to Morgan to sit.

"We thought you weren't coming," Emily added before sipping her drink.

"I understood it was a requirement," I quipped, looking at Hotch. The aforementioned man nodded in agreement.

"It was, indeed. Have I to remind you Strauss is still mad about the whole ordeal with you stepping into a building with no vest and no gun?"

Hotch is right. Strauss made his life hell for a whole week until he notified my suspension.

I wince, remembering the incident in question.

Self-note: don't leave behind the vest and the gun again.

"You look very handsome, boy wonder," Garcia chimes, waving her hand and pointing at me.

I can't help but blush at the compliment. It's not she hasn't done it before, and I know she means well, but-

"Maybe pretty boy gets some game tonight," Morgan claps his hand on my shoulder, grinning.

That's why I don't like that kind of attention. At every chance, someone pips up and tries to play wingman or wingwoman for me. And although I appreciate their efforts, I like to move at my own pace. Even if some say my pace, it's more like a turtle's speed.

Giving him a tight-lip smile, I reach for a glass of water. I don't know how I'll survive this night.

Surprisingly, it is okay for now. I fall into conversation with Garcia and JJ, although it is more like me listening and them talking. Occasionally, I add some to the topic, and they seem receptive.

But Derek looks impatient to stand and march to a group of women talking on the opposite side of the venue, next to the bar. I don't look much into it until I feel his hand on my shoulder.

"You're oddly quiet tonight, pretty boy. What's up?" My sight darts from JJ and Penelope to Derek.

"Nothing?" I offer. My eyebrows creace. Derek snickers.

"I know what you need! Come on, let's enjoy the party and come with me to chat with those beautiful agents at the bar over there," he proposes. I shake my head.

"No. I'm good. You can go if you want. I don't think you need my help."

Derek rolls his eyes.

"Don't get dismissive with me. It'll help you to lose a little. I promise," he insists. And I know I'm losing my battle with him tonight.

"As if I had something interesting to say to them," I mumble, loud enough for Derek to hear.

"Don't say that. Surely, some would like to hear about, I don't know, oysters? And how they became a symbol of glamor or whatever. Because I'm sure you know that, right?" Derek points, grabbing an oyster from the tray a waiter offers him.

"Actually, oysters were not considered a status symbol until the 11th century, when the Crusades trunked access to seafood in Europe. Some researchers believe that-"

I'm about to explain the whole thing when Morgan cuts me off.

"See? Now, don't waste that knowledge with me, and let's share it with those gorgeous, shall we?"

I'm screwed.

I reluctantly stand to follow Derek. I know he's the best intention even if I won't tell him that. Maybe he's right, and I need to step out of my comfort zone occasionally.

As smoothly as only Morgan can be, he interrupts the conversation between three women by the bar. You would think they would return annoyed looks from the sudden interruption, but they did not. It is everything but that.

"Excuse me, beautiful ladies. Hope you don't mind some company. My friend and I thought it would be an honor to share part of your precious time tonight."

How the fuck can he do that?!

The result shocked me almost more than it impressed me. The three turn to us with flirting smiles flashing to Derek. And me?

That's new. And, of course, I have to blush furiously at that.

"Hey, handsome. Sweet talk, uh?" One of the girls teases Derek while the others giggle.

"I know I can do better, but you make me nervous, sweetheart," Morgan banters as smoothly as the beginning.

And that's it. We have their full attention now. Scratch that; Derek has their full attention now.

He asks for their names, and that's how I know the woman who spoke first is Vivian, and her friends are Julie and Ashley. The three of them work in the Counterterrorism Division.

"And who is your good-looking friend?" Ashley asks, skimming at me.

Why is she looking at me from head to toe?

Derek glances at me, and I understand it's time for me to say something.

"I'm Spencer," I wave.

Short and precise.

"Hi, Spencer. You are cute," Ashley points, and suddenly, my mouth goes dry.

As Emily once said, my IQ slashes to 60 when I'm in front of a beautiful woman. And Ashley is a beautiful woman. Her long, stylish blond hair, blue eyes, tan skin with perfect makeup, gorgeous smile, and a dress that accentuates her body in the right places. It would be stupid to say she is not attractive.

"Why don't we go to the dance floor while Ashley and Spencer get to know each other better, uh?" Derek offers to Julie and Vivian, winking at me.

Oh, Lord. Help me.

I don't think Derek or Ashley would appreciate it if I refused to stay here and run to the nearest exit. So I give Ashley a tight smile and prepare myself for whatever comes now.

"Well...?" she prompts, and I don't know what the fuck she expects me to say.

"Yeah. Nice party," I offer, hoping my attempt to small talk works.

Ashley's smile suggests it does.

"It is. Are you having fun?"

No.

"Yes! A lot! Are you?"

"Yeah. But I think it turns out better now," she says, subtly closing some distance between us with a playful look directed at me.

Is she flirting with me?

I clear my throat to appease some of my nerves. I need to cool off. If Derek can do this, I should try.

A waitress approaches us and offers some drinks. Ashley picks a glass of wine, and I prefer a flute of champagne. I don't usually drink alcohol, but I need it now.

"Slow down, boy. People would think I make you nervous," Ashley points seductively when she notices how I quickly down the liquid.

My eyes widen when she rests a hand on my chest and leans to whisper in my ear.

"I don't bite. Unless you want me to."

Okay. That sounds very straightforward.

I should feel flattered. An attractive woman is more than insinuating me right now; I barely said anything. But it doesn't feel like that.

Derek surely would tell me, 'Take it and play it, pretty boy,' but I don't feel like it. If we could engage in a kind of conversation, I would feel more comfortable. Don't get me wrong. I know what a potential one-night stand means, but I'm not good at it. That's how I am. Sue me.

I want to turn her down gently, so I do what I know to do, and people usually hate me for it: spit information.

"Compared with other mammals, like dogs and bears, humans don't have the strongest bite. Scientists measure the pressure exerted by an animal's bite in pounds per square inch or psi. The human bite force is 162 psi. The bite force of some dogs can reach 250 psi, while some bears have a bite force of over 1,000 psi. It's interesting, actually-"

Ashley is now looking at me, confused. She retreats his hand from my chest and hums, faking interest in what I'm saying.

As I go on with my info dump, I notice how Ashley changes her empty glass of wine to a filled one when a server offers it.

Aside from 'interesting,' 'oh,' and 'uhm,' she doesn't add more to the conversation - or more likely, my rambling - and by now, you would think she's tired of me. But no. For God knows what reason, she is persistent. I give her that.

Typically, I can ramble on and on, which is not the exception. The waiters and waitresses keep coming with drinks and food, and even I pick some for myself.

When they offer us a tray with oysters, I can't help but recall what Morgan told me before.

As I see Ashley ushering one to her mouth, I deliver an exciting fact about it.

"Did you know that raw oysters are still alive? Indeed, some people argue oysters might feel pain, and others say that because they don't have a central nervous system, they don't feel pain like other seafood species might."

Not looking at her, I focus on my oyster, inspecting it before continuing.

"If it's that so, the question is when they die actually. This is likely to happen when they are shucked rather than when they are chewed or swallowed. Scientists think this because an oyster's heart is right next to the bottom adductor muscle, so separating it from the shell kills it."

I should have known the lack of response wasn't due to the interest in the topic, although speaking was impossible for her. Her face's blueness and her hand on her neck now tell me something is wrong.

Fuck. She is choking.

I don't know what to do. She is choking on an oyster, and I'm paralyzed. The people around us start to scream as they see her turning blue. That picks everyone's attention, and I want to dig a hole to get into right now. But first, I should do something to help her. Before I can reach for her, a pair of arms hugs Ashley from behind and applies the Heimlich Maneuver. After a few thrusts into the abdominal area, we see the oyster fly from her mouth to somewhere on the floor.

At the same time, Vivian, Julie, and Derek rush to us to find out what is going on.

Ashley starts coughing, and some of her natural color returns to her face. The arms around her torso loosen, and that's when I notice the woman who just saved her life from choking.

Everything happens so fast that I barely register the slap across my face—Ashley's courtesy.

A collective 'Uhhh' is heard around us.

Before I can say anything, Ashley starts a rant full of anger and frustration toward me.

"Are you fucking crazy? Why would you say something like that? It's disgusting!"

Ironically, I'm speechless now.

What is wrong with talking about oysters?

"You fucking weird!" Ashley continues with her rant. It's like she has been holding it since we were left alone.

The woman who helped Ashley now looks between me and her with her eyebrow creased.

"Hey. You should take it easy. You're just recovering from-"

She can't finish the sentence since Ashley turned to lash out at her.

"Don't fucking tell me what to do! I almost died because of this pathetic nerd here who can't stop rambling about alive oysters! Just thinking about it makes me sick again!"

"Could it be a hint for not eating them anymore?" I muse, gaining a chuckle from the woman - let's call her the savior - and a deadly glare from Ashley. I recoil from saying anything else, and it is the wiser.

"I should have known better than to engage my time with you. Even if you actually pack a big dick, it doesn't worth it!" she whisper-yell at me, but loud enough for Derek, Vivian, Julie, and the mystery-savior woman to hear.

I'm utterly confused and embarrassed. What have to do my dick with all of this?

Derek is now dispersing the crowd around us as Vivian and Julie try to soothe her friend's anger, rubbing her back and arm.

I bet they see Ashley's wrath boiling and the high probability of her launching towards me to punch me. Their efforts to subdue her seem to work because, after a loud huff, Ashley only grabs her coat from Vivian's hand and spits at me: "Thanks for ruining my night!"

The three pass by my side to one of the exits venue.

I don't even know how I should feel.

I feel upset because my escape plan didn't go as planned. I feel relieved because Ashley didn't die. Hurt? Yeah, that, too. I didn't deserve a slap on my face. She calling me a pathetic nerd? Sadly, I'm not surprised. And it only confirms my theory I'm not good at this kind of setting.

With the show over and people not focused on me anymore, Derek approaches. I know what he wants to say, but I don't want to hear it. I'm done for tonight.

"Don't say it," I cut him off.

"I wasn't gonna say anything," he tells me with a sympathetic look, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Sure you not," I grumble. "And what was about that comment about my… dick?" I whisper to him.

Derek's face tries to remain neutral, but I know him better.

"What did you do?" I demand to Morgan, and he sighs.

"I may or may not have suggested a rumor about your attributes."

I look at him in disbelief.

"Shut the fuck up! You did not!"

"Come on, pretty boy. It worked! You caught their attention, didn't you?"

I shake my head, trying not to snap at him in public. Morgan can see the distress I'm carrying right now and relents.

"I'm sorry, Reid. I thought it would be a good chance for you to show yourself around. You're a good kid; you deserve to have a good time."

It's useless to engage in this argument again. I understand his good intentions, but like this? No, thanks.

"I better get going," I mumble, walking backward. I'm done for the night.

"Reid..." Morgan starts, but the shake of my head cuts him off. He sighs as I turn to head to one of the exits.

Walking through one of the venue's doors, I find myself on a lateral terrace. I stop for a moment to look around.

If there were different circumstances, I would be enjoying this view. To the front, you can see a beautiful and thick green shrubbery. Several fountains with little waterfalls and statues recreate a neoclassical garden. It is no coincidence since the property where the venue is located is a typical Jefferson's Neo-Palladian construction with high ceilings and large columns.

My architectural appreciation stops when my eyes land on a woman with her back leaning against one of the columns, her left hand resting on the concrete railing, and her right hand with a glass of wine. Her face is turned to the side, and she is observing the beautiful garden in front of her.

I know her. I've seen her before.

Although it is dark outside, the light from the venue's long windows illuminates the terrace enough.

My brain comes up with the answer in a fraction of a second.

Is the woman who saved Ashley from choking.

After what she did, nobody even thanked her. The worst part is knowing Ashley behaved that poorly with her. It's not fair. And it's my fault.

With that in mind, I approach her.

She seems too concentrated to register I'm just a foot of distance from her. I clear my throat to call her attention.

She turns her head with a confused look at first. But she offered me a kind smile when she realized who I was.

It's my first chance to look at her; with everything happening so fast, I barely noticed her trying to talk back to Ashley moments ago.

And now that I'm in front of her, I feel weirdly struck.

Besides her beautiful smile, her eyes hold a piercing gaze, but not the kind that frightens you. It's more like she actually sees you and gives you her undivided attention. With light makeup, her face lets you see some of her freckles. With her hair tied to one side, you can see her neck adorned with a simple gold chain with a compass-shaped pendant.

My not-so-subtle scrutiny is interrupted by her voice.

"Can I help you?" She asks, and my cheeks turn pink. But I'm here for a reason, so I clear my throat before speaking.

"Sorry. I - uh. I'm sorry for bothering you, but I wanted to thank you. For what you did back there," I say, pointing to the inside. "And, well, I want to apologize too. Ashley wasn't very kind to you, considering you mostly saved her life."

She tilts her head slightly, a frown forming, while contemplating what to say.

"Well," she starts. "I'll take the thanks. But I can't take the apologies."

Now, it's my turn to frown.

"Oh, okay. Uh - Why not?"

Not that she should do it. It's her right to do it or not, but I'm curious.

"Because you didn't do anything wrong to me, so you don't have to," she shrugs, like it's obvious.

"I kind of did. I mean, Ashley behaved awful, and I didn't -"

Before I can continue, she shakes her head to stop me.

"No. Don't do that. Why on earth do you want to apologize for someone else's bad manners, considering she treated you like garbage?"

She doesn't say it as if she is upset at me, more likely as if she doesn't understand why I would do that. And yes, she has a good point. But someone has to do the right thing, and that's what I say next.

"It's just the right thing to do."

She takes her time, mulling over my words and whether she believes me or not.

"Okay. You're correct. It's the right to do. And it's a shame most people don't do it. But I still believe it is not your responsibility here."

Something is telling me her statement concerns more than Ashley being impolite. But it is not my place to point that.

"But some people do. And that must count as something, I guess. "

It's curious how her look changes from pensive to more light-hearted.

"Okay. You win this time..." she trails off, not knowing how to refer to me.

"Spencer," I supply. She hums.

"You win this time, Spencer. And being that said, I accept your apology too," she added, sipping the remaining wine from her glass.

I smile, nodding appreciatively. It's a little gesture, but I feel better after what happened.

Silence settles between us, and I take that as my cue to leave. I had already taken enough of her time.

"Uh, well. Thank you again..."

I trail off, realizing I don't know her name.

"(Y/N)," she says.

"Thank you again, (Y/N). Hope you enjoy the rest of your night."

With that said, I should get on foot to leave the venue, as I had planned to do ten minutes ago, but for some reason, my feet didn't want to move, and I kept standing there. (Y/N) look at me as if I'm going to say something else due to the lack of movement on my part.

"Are you okay?" she asks, and now I have the same question for myself.

"Yeah. Yeah. Totally okay. Sorry, I'm leaving now."

Turning in my heels, I'm about to walk away when I hear (Y/N) 's voice.

"I didn't know that, you know? And, for the record, I didn't think it was disgusting."

I stop in my tracks to look at her with a raised eyebrow. When I catch what she is referring to, my eyes cast to the floor, and my cheeks turn pink again.

"If anything, I found it educative," she adds. I try to decipher if there is some teasing in her words, but I find none. She's being oddly genuine. Oddly, because I'm not used to people saying that when referring to the things I tend to ramble about.

"Thank you," I sheepishly say, my hands finding home in my pant pockets. "People don't tell me that very often."

A puff leaves (Y/N) 's lips before she says, "Ungrateful fuckers."

I chuckle at her choice of words.

Weird. It's the first time all night that I don't want to run away from here.

"Yeah. Something like that," I agree, and she smiles. Now I'm comfortable enough to make some conversation.

"Uh, are you from Quantico?"

"Yeah. A very adrenalinal position," she prompts, and I raise an eyebrow. "Finance Division."

I can't help but snort, and she laughs. "I told you. What about you?"

"Behavioral Unit Analysis," I reply. (Y/N)' s eyes wide in recognition.

"Wow. The one and only BAU."

"You know us?"

"Sure. I wouldn't forget a unit that has its own jet. I'm the one who enters the travel expenses from all Quantico," she explains. I hum, trying to figure out the amplitude of that sole task. "Like I told you, very exciting."

She is mocking herself regarding her job. But I find it impressive for a desk job. Not all people have the skills to run financials.

"Well, I agree it is not very adrenaline but very important. I mean, we have to travel around the country all the time. Our job depends on traveling."

(Y/N) has now an amused expression on her face.

"It's nice to know someone truly values what you do. Not even our boss does it," she points before letting a deep sigh escape from her lips. "Gosh, I'm being very judgmental right now. You're going to think I spend my life complaining about everything. I do sometimes, but I'm not always like this," she explains. I shake my head.

"I'm not judging you. Everyone has the right to say what things don't like or would change about their jobs."

"Well, thanks. Although I'm sure you guys have more reasons to be concerned. You risk your life on the field every time. That's huge."

She rests the empty glass on the concrete rail, adjusting her coat around her body. The air is chiller at this time of the night.

"You know? People say that a lot. And I agree. It's a dangerous job, but it's not better than anyone's for that reason, or whatever another reason for that matter.

Her eyes are analyzing me with curiosity. I'm not sure, but it's like she's having difficulty believing what I'm saying.

"Can I ask you something, Spencer?"

"Sure."

"Why are you here tonight?"

My eyes narrow at her question. Isn't the reason obvious?

"What do you mean? It's the FBI annual gala," I point out, knowing she already knows that too. She nods.

"Precisely," she starts. "And at the risk of being impertinent, I can say this environment makes you uncomfortable. When you were with that girl talking - scratch that, when you were talking, and she looked at you, trying to devour you with her eyes - you seemed like you didn't want to be there. Above all, knowing this kind of event is basically to show off to other bureau agents, I don't think is your notion of an ideal night."

If I wasn't impressed when we started talking - which I was - I am now.

She assumes my awe as discomfort.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to overstep."

"No, no. You are okay. And let me tell you, your observation is completely accurate," I hasten to clarify.

"Yeah?" (Y/N) asks, and I nod earnestly.

"Yeah. Have you not considered applying for a position as a field agent?"

An amused laugh leaves her lips.

"No way! I would be a total disaster! And carrying a gun is not my idea of a dream job anymore," she points out, still laughing.

I chuckle, but her answer makes me think. Before I can ask for clarification, she calls me out.

"Hey, you didn't answer my question."

I didn't, although the answer is simple.

"My boss made me."

(Y/N) scoff in disbelief.

"What? Did he put a gun against your chest?"

Well, thinking better about it, maybe the answer is not that simple.

"Not quite, but you can say I felt it that way."

I tell (Y/N) how my team always worries about my lack of social interaction, which isn't that accurate if you ask me. However, some of the pressure of doing things that people my age would generally do is finally getting me and pushing me out of my comfort zone.

She listens to me with undivided attention and seems to understand what I'm talking about.

"Peer pressure, uh? I can relate to that to some extent," she agrees.

"That's why are you here tonight, too?"

My question makes her let out a deep sigh as her eyes focus on the garden beside us for a second.

"Not really. Who knows, maybe I do enjoy being here?"

(Y/N) phrases it more like a question than a statement. And I can tell she doesn't believe it either.

"Enjoying being apart from the crowd, in a lateral terrace barely illuminated and exposed to the chilly night air? I can think of several other places to do the same thing without the trouble of a gala environment."

Her cheeks turn a shade of pink, which tells me I'm right.

"Not fair, you are a certified profiler," (Y/N) complains, faking annoyance.

"And you haven't answered my question either," I remind her. She rolls her eyes playfully.

"Yeah, yeah. I know. Well, let's say I came here to prove myself something. Spoiler alert: I failed. That's why I have been mostly spending the night here."

I hum, knowing she is vague in explaining, but I'm not in a place to pry.

"Look, I would tell you more about it, but I'm sure you have to return inside. Your teammates are surely wondering where you are."

I can't help but snort, and she raises an eyebrow at my reaction.

"I'm sorry, but your assumption is far from reality. Considering what happened inside, they think I ran home. What I was actually doing before spotting you here," I admit.

"Ha! So it's true I'm holding you back but for a different motive," she triumphantly concludes.

"I didn't say that!" I complain with a hint of exasperation, to which she breathly laughs.

"I know. I know. I'm messing with you. Honestly? There are two reasons why I'm avoiding this topic right now. First, I don't think you want to hear the mess my life is these days, and second, I would kill for a coffee and a sandwich-" she pauses, stifling a chuckle before continuing. "Considering oysters are out of the table."

"Oh, come on!" I groan, seeing how she falls into a fit of laughter, so contagious that I can't help but join her.

"Sorry, sorry. Not very kind of me, I know. But I couldn't help it," she apologizes, still giggling. I bit my lower lip in amusement.

"Alright. It's okay. It's frankly funny," I admit, my words leaving my mouth before I can think of them. "Well, I could tell you more of those moments in my life - many of them - if you let me join you with the coffee and sandwich. I know a good place that is open at this hour. And you can tell me what kind of thing you wanted to prove yourself tonight."

Spencer Reid. Is that you?

I'm surprised by my sudden confidence, and it seems (Y/N) is, too. She hums, scrubbing her fingers under her chin while contemplating my offer.

"Okay, I'll take it. But don't tell me later that I didn't warn you about the mess of my life," she points her index finger at me.

"I won't. I promise."

Grabbing a cab is relatively easy since the FBI considered transportation outside the venue for people who won't be driving.

The fifteen-minute ride allows us to have a light conversation. That's how I know (Y/N) has been in the bureau for almost four years. Being an Accountant by profession and with a Master of Science in Finance from Georgetown, she was recruited for the FBI precisely considering her outstanding skills in the financial department.

She asks me about my trajectory in the FBI as well. I tell her about Gideon and the start of my life at the BAU.

Arriving at our destination, I insist on paying for the ride despite her resistance. I assured her that she could invite me to the coffee.

It must be a curious image for the patrons to see two fully gala-dressed people stepping inside a diner at eleven pm.

We sit on a bench facing each other.

A girl who can't hide her curious expression comes to take our order. As promised, (Y/N) asks for two coffees and two sandwiches.

"So, Agent Gideon recruited you for the FBI. Why did you accept? I would have thought you would be more comfortable in academics," (Y/N) asks, stirring a spoon of sugar in her coffee.

"I thought the same at the time. But Gideon saw something I didn't. He knew I wouldn't settle with learning and teaching for the rest of my life, and I needed it to be useful beyond that environment."

I explain how profiling has helped us to catch unsubs around the country and how worthy it is for me. I can't think of myself doing anything else. (Y/N) listen to me with raptor interest; it is nice to be heard that way.

"You know? I haven't heard someone speak passionately about their work in a long time. It's good you feel that way," she says with a hint of longing that doesn't go unnoticed by me.

"It is bold of me to assume you don't like what you do?"

Maybe I'm overstepping, but I'm curious. And (Y/N) doesn't seem bothered by my question. Shifting in her seat, she leans, resting her elbows on the table.

"Not bold at all, mister profiler," she teases. "But not always has been that way. I would say I started to feel uncomfortable not long ago. A couple of months, perhaps?"

I hum, thinking about what could have made her feel that way.

"It has to do with why you were at the gala tonight?"

She chuckles, nodding.

"Kind of. Remember I told you I wanted to prove myself something? Well, it has to do with what has been bothering me," she prefaces.

(Y/N) relates how things have gone well since she got into the FBI. She felt respected, wanting to do many things and learn everything she could.

That's how she met her boyfriend.

"I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship, much less at work. I wanted to be professional, separating my private life from my job. But he was so attentive and supportive. He always told me he was happy I felt fulfilled with what I was doing. He was so perfect I thought I had found my soulmate."

I don't know exactly where she is going, but sure as hell, that prick wasn't her soulmate.

"What happened?"

"One day, I wasn't good enough for him anymore. After two years of relationship, he started with harsh comments and criticism about everything I did and didn't do."

A humorless chuckle escapes her lips.

"I should have noticed. By then, he was promoted from desk duty and junior trainee to field agent. He had always wanted it, and I felt so happy for him. But that changed everything."

(Y/N) tells me about how her boyfriend stopped listening to her, and instead, every topic of conversation turned to his job, implying - sometimes saying it explicitly - that it was more important than hers.

"It's not only the fact we stopped communicating; it was realizing how low he thought about me and my accomplishments. At first, I tried to understand. Of course, he was dazed by this new life, full of danger and adrenaline. I could understand it. But when he started comparing me to his female colleagues and the things they were doing, way more important than the ones I was doing, it made me insecure."

(Y/N) takes time to collect her thoughts, sipping the remaining coffee from the cup.

"The insecurities got the best of me. At some point, I just wanted to run away and leave it all behind. I knew it was irrational, but I believed him. I even thought about changing my career and training to be a field agent. Good thing we broke up before I could do that," she admits.

"What stopped you? I mean, like you're telling this, you were going to change for him," I ask. She cast her gaze, averting mine. Her cheeks turn pink.

"I don't like to admit it, but the reason we broke up wasn't because I realized how stupid the situation was. We broke up because he cheated on me. I discovered it two months ago, breaking the camel's back."

Fuck. That prick was not meant to be her soulmate. And I feel the urge to have one or two words with him right now.

"I'm sorry." It's the only thing I manage to say. (Y/N) shakes her head.

"Nah. If anything, I'm glad it happened. Even if it broke my heart."

"He was at the gala, right?" (Y/N) nods.

"With the coworker that he chose to cheat on me. His current girlfriend."

Everything makes perfect sense now. (Y/N) was trying to prove to herself that the wound had healed. And from what she said earlier, it didn't turn that way.

She bitterly chuckles.

"Yeah. It's pathetic, I know."

Spencer, do something.

"No! It's not. Unfortunately, cheating is not uncommon, particularly in men. In 2020, IFS released a report stating that 20% of men have admitted to cheating, and only 10% have. In 2021, the Health Testing Centers asked 441 people who admitted infidelity to their partners and asked how long it took for them to tell their partners about it. 47.7% of the respondents told their partner within a week that they'd cheated. 26.6% of those have waited for a month, and 25.7% took six months or longer to tell their partner about the infidelity. And 60% of them said the affair started in a work environment."

And then again, the rambling. But instead of giving me a blank look, (Y/N) seems to consider what I just said.

"Maybe I shouldn't feel so bad about it then. Anyway, it hasn't been easy to get out of this. I thought going to the gala and forcing myself to see them together would be enough to get a closure," she reflects.

"But it still hurts," I supply, making (Y/N) hum.

"Yeah. I'm not ready, and it sucks. Not for him, but for me. I hate feeling so out of place, so dissatisfied with everything," (Y/N) retorts, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest.

Her eyes look sad, and I want to do something to fix it, although I know that nothing I can say would be enough. Maybe joking will at least get her off the topic.

"And there I was talking about oysters all night," I sigh, feigning disapproval. Genuine laughter escapes her lips.

I didn't know that making her laugh could fill my heart so much with satisfaction.

"That's life," she adds, now checking the time on her cell phone. "I think I'll get going," she announces, collecting her things and preparing to stand.

"Can I walk you home? It's very late already," I ask.

"Oh no, don't worry about me. My building is not far from here."

I know she doesn't want to cause trouble, but it makes me uneasy about what could happen to her walking alone at this hour.

Thank you, BAU.

"Please?" I insist. (Y/N) raises an eyebrow.

"Aren't you already fed up with me?" she asks curiously.

"Non yet," I grin.

Not having the energy to put up a fight, she accepts my offer, and after paying the bill, we leave the restaurant.

The night is colder now, and both of us walk in silence with our hands in our pockets.

I can't know what exactly she's thinking, but at least I can't stop thinking about tonight. For someone like me, it's hard to fall into spontaneity, but with (Y/N), it wasn't a problem. That amazes me, and I like it at the same time.

When she stops walking, I get out of my thoughts.

"Here," she says, looking at the building we are standing by. "Thank you for walking with me," (Y/N) states, smiling. It's the same warm smile she offered when I found her on the venue's terrace a couple of hours ago.

"Of course. It's the less I could do."

And I mean it. She saved my night in so many ways she doesn't even know.

"Well, I need to say it was a pleasure to share this shit of a night with you and turned it less shitty," she says, grinning and satisfied with her remark.

I laugh at her statement. I couldn't have said it better.

"Thank you. It's the best compliment I have had in a long time," I joke, making (Y/N) giggle.

"You are welcome."

I have the question on the tip of my tongue. I would love to see her again, but what if she doesn't think it's worth it? I opt for the vaguest thing that comes to mind.

"See you around?"

(Y/N) thinks about it for a moment. Am I being too obvious? Before falling into a spiral, she smiles at me again.

"Yeah, sure. Why not."

I can't help but feel the excitement pouring from me.

"Great! Well, I - I'll go now. Good night (Y/N)," I say goodbye, slowly walking backward.

"Good night, Spencer," she retorts before entering the building.

I watch her disappear behind the door, and I think that while neither of us got what we wanted, maybe we got what we needed.

-------------

Next -> Part 2: It Was Horrible Until It Wasn’t

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A/N 2: I'm excited to know your thoughts about this!

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Spencer Reid's Taglist: @dreatine @nomajdetective @jayyeahthatsme @rosalinasam2 @averyhotchner @lovelyxtom @princessmiaelicia @pastelbabygirl19 @reidsbookclub @alexxavicry @gspenc @spencerreidisbae123 @calmspencer @pauline5525mgg @anamiad00msday @milivanili99 @laylasbunbunny @leahblackk @miaxx03 @missabsey @taintedstranger @khxna @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @dysphoricsanity

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #dr spencer reid #amanda perry williams #aperrywilliams #spencer reid fic #spencer reid one shot

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 3 months

Text

The Stunt ^**

This one is based off of the following request where Harry and Y/N are in a PR relationship and he realizes he likes her until it's all over.

A shout out to whoever created that AI pic, it was a repost from TikTok so I'm not sure who actually made it!

Warnings: PR relationship, mentions of PR drama from the past/present, heartbreak & failed relationships, verbal arguments, jealousy, a quick non-consensual kiss, alcohol consumption, fingering, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex

WC: 19.6K

It seemed really stupid to you, a PR relationship with your co-star for a film? Sure, this was your debut into acting, but you had confidence in your ability to perform well and were certain that the film would do great, it was a lovely story! You didn’t need additional PR help to make the film successful. You loved the script, it was a nice, yet realistic friends-to-lovers story. It had range, happiness, sadness, comedy, intimacy…you wouldn’t have chosen a stupid script for your first attempt at the silver screen! So the fact that your agent had written this into the contract with whoever your co-star was going to be, it felt a little insulting to you.

“It’s offensive! I don’t want to fake date anyone, Fred!” You whined into the phone, “Everyone’s going to see it coming from a mile off…what if they cast someone I hate? What’s gonna happen then?” You asked and he spoke calmly, trying to appease you.

“Think of it as more acting practice! You have to act like you’re into the person when in public.”

“No one is going to agree to that.”

“Sweetheart, everyone will agree to it. It’s a classic PR move! They’re just gonna be kicking themselves for not thinking of it first! It basically guarantees film success for these rom-com type of things.” He said and you sighed and nearly hung up out of frustration. You wished that he had at least asked your permission before including this in the contract.

A few weeks later you were called in by the production and directing team for a few chemistry tests with the two actors that they were split between. They didn’t want to tell you who they were looking at for casting as to prevent any bias on your part during the chemistry read. They wanted to see it for themselves who you vibed with the most. Fred had told you to stop trying to figure it out because both picks were fairly new to the acting world. And when the day came, you were sick to your stomach. You hardly ate anything since the night before because of it.

When you were introduced to the first guy you did recognize him a bit but you couldn’t really place him. He shared that he had done a lot of supporting work and this would be his first time in a lead role if he got it. He was trying so hard though, trying to make it look like you guys were vibing well. Your interactions felt really inauthentic. The way he would knock his head back and laugh in an exaggerated manner whenever you said something slightly humorous, the way he would lean in closer to speak to you, and touch your arm or shoulder even when you crossed them over your body to indicate that you were uncomfortable. Then when you guys did a couple of test scenes, one of them being the lead up to one of the more intense dialogues between the characters, he came on really strong and theatrically and it was cringey; even you knew that he wasn’t it as they thanked him for his time and off he went.

“We’re gonna break for a few minutes. Meet back in here in 10!” Someone announced and you took full advantage to go make yourself a tea while they reset the makeshift “set”. Fred knew better than to talk to you right now, you were still quite annoyed at him for putting you in the PR dating situation. So when you felt someone come up beside you, you didn’t say anything, he’d get the hint.

“Ummm, pardon?” You heard an unfamiliar voice and you did a double take over your shoulder when you realized that the person who was looming behind you patiently was Harry Styles, the glasses he had on threw you off a bit.

“Oh god, sorry! I’m taking up the whole counter aren’t I?” You apologized as you grabbed your phone and dropped it in your purse and grabbed that from the top of the counter to make space for him and he smiled at you.

“That’s alright.” He assured you, “I just wanted to introduce myself before we all have to head back in.” He explained and you nodded. You quickly set down your tea packet and extended your hand to his and you shook it firmly and briefly. “I’m Harry.” He introduced himself.

“Y/N.” You smiled warmly.

“I know. Umm, I really liked your EP.” He said to you and your eyes widened in surprise.

“Oh wow, thank you so much! I like your glasses.” You said stupidly and he laughed as he glanced down at the ground between you and you mentally scolded yourself, “ Y-your albums too!” You added in, “I genuinely love all of your albums.” You giggled, trying to mask the star stuck feeling and embarrassment from your little blunder. “The last one, it was phenomenal! I put so many friends onto it.” You shared and he smiled timidly as he glanced away for a moment again before looking back at you.

“Thank you, that’s very generous of you.” He thanked you modestly, as if he hadn’t won an album of the year Grammy for it.

“It really was the least I could do. Great work.” You assured and he chuckled. You knew that one of his best friends was producing this film and you’d heard rumors that he might be writing on the soundtrack, so while you were shocked that he was here for this chemistry/screen test you didn’t think it too odd. Maybe it was going to help him get the vibes between you and whoever else they cast opposite you so that he could start working on the music. “So are you going to be writing some pieces for the soundtrack?” You asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, I thought the script was so genuine and I don’t know, I’m quite partial to hyperrealistic stories like this. The ones that show the challenges as well as the good things.” He said and you nodded.

“Oh my god, same. I know that films should sometimes be an escape, a reprieve if you will, from reality and just be optimistic and romanticize the good but I really love it when it feels like I’m looking in the mirror, you know? Or when it helps me relate to others more. I just love the humanity so much.” You explained and he nodded along.

“Yeah, definitely.” He agreed. “What do you love most about this story?”

“Just the hope of it all…” you sighed happily, “I mean, who isn’t a sucker for a good friends-to-lovers trope? That whole “it’s been you all along” moment has happened to so many of us, I think. Like it’s the ideal scenario for falling in love, no? When you discover that your love for someone is so much bigger than you thought it was. But what I loved most is the way Cara learns to love herself and knows when to choose herself. It’s shows so much strength and integrity to herself. But yeah, I mean the love story between the two characters is also really great, so…normal.” You hummed.

“Yeah, it’s so pure, isn’t it? I love how it builds so realistically, like you know all the good bits but also all the bad bits of a person and still love them and they you just as you are.”

“Exactly.” You hummed and he smiled.

“And how’d the last guy do with that?” He asked you, “You can be honest, I won’t tell.” He assured you with a little grin.

“Honestly, a little too forced for my liking. Like fake laughing and inside jokes kind of thing, it was a bit cringey. And well, the acting was far too theatrical for film in my opinion. He very clearly comes from a theater background, it was like really over the top.” You explained to him and he hummed.

“Hmmm…Well, I hope I do better than that.” He said and you froze.

“Wait. You’re the other choice?” You asked him and he nodded, “Oh…”

“I didn’t come and say hi just for fun. It was strictly business.” He joked with a playful grin and you shook your head in disbelief.

“And here I thought you were just here out of the kindness of your heart. To like pick up on the vibes for inspiration for the music.” You chuckled, feeling even more nervous now. “I was basically told that this was amateur hour by my agent.”

“Well, between the two of us, I’m quite the amateur when it comes to acting.” He said and you laughed a little in disbelief.

“Are you fucking kidding me? This is my first acting gig since…my high school play where I was dragged into playing Rizzo because the original cast member dropped out the week before because she hated how she looked in the wig!” You exclaimed, “Please forget the modesty. You’ve been in a Nolan film!” You said to him and he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Yeah, and all I did was swim around in the freezing cold ocean trying not to drown in that heavy ass uniform. The panic I portrayed was very real! There was no acting talent required. I was genuinely fighting for my life on that set.” He joked and you laughed and shook your head.

“Well, I think you’ll get the part. We’re genuinely laughing, right? Or are you acting so well that I can’t tell whether it’s genuine or not?” You asked and he raised his eyebrows smugly.

“Definitely acting, even wore my glasses since the character does int eh script.” He said jokingly and you giggled.

“Well, they suit you.” You complimented and he smiled bashfully.

“Thanks.” He responded, “But ummm, we are genuinely laughing…I think we’ll do good in there.” He said with a little more confidence.

“I think so too.” You hummed.

“Here’s to hoping. Well, I’m gonna head back in now, but I’ll see you in there, okay? Wish me luck!” He smiled warmly and you smiled and nodded as you watched him head back into the reading room.

************

It almost goes without saying that Harry was cast as the other lead opposite you. You guys did get along well and you also read well together, the screen test was great too. It was evident how personal these roles felt to each of you. So after a few days you were sitting before each other with your teams present to work out the terms of this PR relationship you’d have. It was all pretty basic; some of the parameters set were that this was business so no canoodling outside of the contractually obligated appearances, there were an agreed upon number of appearances you’d have to do during and post production. There were strict boundaries on what PDA was okay and what wasn’t, it was all very straight forward. So with both parties having most of their conditions met, you guys signed the contract.

…. ONE MONTH LATER ….

Now, you guys were a quarter of the way through filming and being the delusional hopeless romantic you were, you’d started developing real feelings for Harry. He was just so sweet and fun and thoughtful. For example, your birthday had fallen during production and he bought you flowers and a cake and had everyone sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you. Or when you had a scheduled appearance but were feeling ill from your period cramps, instead of making you sit through dinner at a restaurant, he drove you to the nearest pharmacy and walked around with you to buy you tampons and snacks. You loved it and everyone else did too. Or just little thoughtful things he’d do for the staff after a long day, he was just a complete sweetheart and it was getting harder and harder for you to just ignore it and not take his kindness all that personally.

Harry wasn’t really one to talk your ear off, he loved conversation, but mostly the listening bit. He liked to learn and hear other people’s thoughts and opinions. Like a sponge, he absorbed all the information and stowed it away for a later time. You could tell by the way he looked at you that he was listening. Like now…

“-it was just really stupid.” You sighed in slight irritation, “Like you just don’t follow someone to their car in a parking garage at night to ask for their picture!” You ranted and he nodded.

“You’re absolutely right. That’s scary, when someone follows you all the way to your car…”

“It was! And it was one of those things where like, if I started to run I knew they would start running after me so I tried to stay calm but in the end I just freaked out a little bit.” You explained, “Fuck, now they’re going to write shit about me being rude online.” You sighed as you guys drove out to the wine bar you were going to be spending some time at this evening.

“Look, you know you did nothing wrong and you’ve never lost it on someone before. If they do post that video and see an empty car park no one is going to think you were being rude. You can’t chase down a woman at night in a parking structure.” He said and you sighed.

“You’re right…” you agreed after you calmed down a bit. “H-how do you do it?”

“Chase women down?” He asked with a playful smile and you rolled your eyes and giggled at his little joke.

“Seriously though. Like deal with the obsessed people and the stalkers that just follow you around from a distance.”

“It is scary for me too. I mean, it sucks to say you get used to it, but you will.” He said and you nodded, “Like I don’t really go out alone in the evenings any more, try to do everything in the day time, with friends if possible. And like at night I’ll drive if I really need to go out, but like I’ve caught people trying to sneak in behind my car at the gate at my home in London. Or just like wait out there for me to come and go. I hate having security there all the time, but for a time I did have someone around patrolling a bit, it did help. Gave me some peace of mind, you know?”

“Yeah…well sorry if I…dampened the mood, I’m just still a little shaken up.” You explained.

“No, I get it.” He assured you with a smile, “Well the wine bar we’re going to is very low-key, so I don’t think anyone will bug us until we walk out to leave. Unless you’re in the mood for something else?” He asked you and you shook your head.

“The wine bar sounds really good right now.” You said to him and he smiled.

Your evening with Harry had been really fun. Not that you guys never had fun, but he was being extra sweet and attentive considering what had happened to you the night before. There were an assortment of board games available to play or you could choose to color and talk, but seeing as you weren’t too keen on any of the games you pulled out your trusty deck of cards from the depths of your purse. He found it extremely amusing that you just had that in your purse but went easy on the teasing.

You rotated playing a few games, you taught him how to play 21 and Speed and it was getting so competitive. Obviously, you were at an advantage considering you knew how to play the games already. He did alright at 21, but when you started to play speed your expertise shone. You were kicking his ass and eventually beat him enough times (four times) that he decided it was time to change games. He kicked your ass at Scrabble and Connect 4 for retribution, but by that point you’d had at least four glasses of wine and were pretty tipsy. He was too, he was all giggly and pink in the cheeks and the tip of his nose, almost as if he were freezing cold and not teeming with warmth. His voice had dropped a bit deeper and his eyes had a slight glassy sheen over them and they were a bit lidded. You were both far more touchy now, it started rather innocently though.

“You’re cheating.” You said to him as he laughed.

“How can you cheat at Scrabble!?” He asked through his laugh.

“You’re picking your tiles.”

“I am not!” He scoffed through a laugh.

“Let me pick one for you then.”

“Hell no.”

“I’m only getting consonants! I need to prove that something is up.”

“How is that possible?”

“It just is!” You said and he laughed.

“Only if I can pick your letter.”

“Okay, deal.” You agreed and you drew his next five tiles after he’d put down ‘reflex’ joint to your previous word, ‘car’.

“I got one consonant, a good one too.” He said as he arranged them on his rack.

“Of course you did…” you murmured as you looked over your options. You really only had consonants. “Okay…” you said as you grabbed the only three tiles that would work with what was on the board, “Eggs.” You said with a small smile as you tagged on the g-g-s to one of the e’s in ‘reflex’ and he burst into laughter.

“That’s all you have?! I don’t believe this.” He said.

“It is!” You laughed through your insistence.

“Let me see.” He said reaching for your rack of letters and you batted his hand away.

“Stop cheating!”

“I’m not! I’m trying to help you.” He chuckled as he grabbed your wrists in one hand to grab the rack and turn it towards him. When he saw your letters his smile dropped, “Mmmm, I see your predicament. And here I thought you just couldn’t spell…” He teased with a smirk and you arched your eyebrows up at his little joke.

“Ha-ha.” You mocked and he chuckled.

“Come here.” He said patting the spot beside him on the tabletop and you were tipsy enough that you didn’t question it. You dragged your stool over beside his and he sighed that you were too far and you squealed in surprise when he grabbed the edge and tugged you even closer to him as easily as if he had slid your empty glasses of wine out of the way. You knew he was strong, you’d seen it with your own eyes over the course of your professional relationship together. But with your growing feelings and the wine fogging up your brain you melted inside at this simple display of strength.

“Geez!” You gasped and he chuckled.

“Sorry.” He hummed with a smile before patting at your hip and looking back at the rack of letters he took from you. “Okay, so…you’re a bit fucked.” He said after scanning the rack some more.

“Well, you didn’t need to drag me over here to tell me that.” You giggled and he turned to you.

“Well, you’re here now, so win-win I’d say.” He flirted and you felt the blood rushing up to your face and making your cheeks and ears go hot.

You didn’t move from his side the rest of the time you were there. All games were forgotten, you were just fiddling with each other’s fingers under the table, your hand resting over his thigh, talking nonsense, and giggling as the alcohol got to the both of you. The way he was looking at you was making you feel like the only other person on the planet. You typically shied away from intense, undivided attention but he wasn’t ostentatious in the way he gave it. It was subtle and personal, it made you feel seen. After ordering one more glass you decided it was time to go, so Harry called your driver. You were getting hungry for some real food as you’d only been munching on the complementary bread they’d been bringing you guys.

“Bill’s here.” He informed you and you reached for your bag while Harry came around and helped you off of the high stool. You were wearing some heels because he was just so tall, but of course, your landing was a bit shaky and you both laughed as he grabbed around your waist. “You good?” He asked with a grin and you nodded up at him, “Sure?”

“M’sure. Just got a little wobbly there.” You giggled as you glanced up at him.

“Here.” He said extending his hand.

“It’s alright. I’m good.” You assured him.

“I’m sure you are, but we’re supposed to do the pictures for the paps, remember?” He said more quietly.

“Oh right, right…” you mumbled and it made you a bit sad as you handed your hand over. He took it and started guiding you though the bar to get out.

You could see people in the bar also taking videos of you guys walking out, calling all this attention to yourself like you were supposed to. But hey, at least you were holding his hand. When you guys got outside the flashes started going off and the paps were calling out to you both but you kept your eyes down at Harry’s shoes, you were a little too tipsy for this. Harry’s grip on you tightened as he pulled you to the car waiting right along the curb and then opened the door to help you in before sliding in behind you.

“God, didn’t think there’d be so many.” He said and you nodded as you buckled up.

“Heading home?” Bill asked.

“Yeah, please. And can you make a little detour on the way so we could get some food?”

“Certainly.”

“Okay, we’re still choosing we’ll pick something on route to her place.”

“Sounds good, just let me know.” He smiled and Harry thanked him before asking you again what you wanted.

You eventually settled on some dumpling place on the way and placed your order online so that it would be ready to pick up when you arrived. Thankfully, that all went to plan and soon you were being dropped off at your house. The lack of stimulation really perpetuated the tipsiness you were both feeling. You were laughing as you navigated your way to your kitchen in mostly the dark, guiding Harry through so that he wouldn’t get hurt.

“Here we are. Can’t wait to eat.” You said and he nodded in agreement. You guys split the food and then curled up on your couch to watch something on the TV while you ate and chatted. Harry started to sober up a lot faster than you which was great as he had to go home after this. You were trying to get on his level so you chugged your big glass of water and then dropped back onto the couch.

“You feeling alright?”

“Yeah, a bit better.” You said and he smiled.

“Good. Did you have fun?” He asked and you nodded.

“A lot of fun actually. Though to be fair, I think you pick fun things to do.” You said and he smiled.

“Oh good! I mean I think I’m quite boring.” He confessed.

“No…I don’t think you’re boring at all. I’m definitely more of a homebody so getting to do all these different things has actually been really great.” You assured him.

“Funny, I pegged you as more of an extrovert than me.” He said and you shook your head.

“Oh no, I’m definitely more introverted than anything.” You chuckled.

“You know, I have a lot of fun with you too. I’m glad it’s you I get to do this with.” He said as he glanced towards you and you smiled down at your lap.

“Yeah, me too.” You responded weakly, but he didn’t catch it, thankfully.

Truth be told, you were still tipsy and were having a hard time getting down to his level of sobriety. And with that came this avalanche of sincerity that could not be avoided or misdirected. In fact, the longer he stayed with you the more you felt the thread of your composure starting to fray. You were fighting against yourself and your need to get closer to him, you wanted to feel his warmth radiating onto you, you wanted the scent of his cologne to waft over you as you buried yourself into his side. You wanted to feel the rumble of his chest when he spoke lowly to you.

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just…thinking.” You said through a tight lipped smile.

“About?”

“Just the film and how much fun I’m having. S’gonna be sad when it’s over.”

“Yeah, it will be. But you don’t have to think about it being over just yet.” He reminded. “We’ve still got a couple more months of filming and things…and this.” He said and you nodded.

“Yeah, you’re right.” You decided and suddenly stood up. “I need to go to the bathroom. Ummm, let me take all of this…” you said of your food containers.

“It’s alright, I’ve got this, you go on.” He assured you and with one more confirmation via a firm nod you headed off to the bathroom.

You just needed to splash some cold water on your face or something. Do anything to freshen up a little and get out of your head. So you did just that as soon as you’d relieved yourself. You grabbed one of the hand towels and soaked it with cold water and dabbed it all over your face. After a few moments you were heading back out and to the kitchen where Harry was just filling up the bag the dumplings had come in with you trash.

“Do you want the vinegar and and chili oil?” He asked, hearing your steps behind him.

“Ummm, just the chili oil. I repurpose it.” You said and he smiled and dropped in the two little sauce cups of black vinegar before tying it up. “You can just leave it, I have to take it out back.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Alright. Well, it’s nearing 1am, I should get going.” He said as he turned around and you nodded.

“Yeah. Ummm, are you good t-to drive?” You asked and he nodded.

“Yeah, the food really sealed the deal.” He chuckled and you smiled.

“Positive? You can stand on one leg?” You asked jokingly and he did so. “Count down from 100 in intervals of 7?” You asked with a raised eyebrow and he scrunched his face down pensively.

“I can try…I didn’t finish high school so it might be a bit harder for me thank most.” He said with a small grin.

“Mmm…don’t think that’ll hold up in court.” You joked and he laughed and shook his head.

“You’re quite funny, you know?” He said and you smiled and shrugged.

“Triple threat.”

“I think that third is supposed to be the dancing bit actually.”

“Who cares about dancing? Would you rather a partner who can dance or who makes you laugh?”

“Mmm…Facts.” He smiled and you shrugged.

“No brainer.” You said and he nodded, “Okay, I’ll uh, I’ll walk you out.” You said and you guys made your way to your door.

“Genuinely, I’ve had an especially fun time with you tonight.” Harry said as you got into the foyer.

“Me too. I’ve never done something like that before.”

“Well, we could always do it again, maybe you’ll have better luck with Scrabble.” He smiled and you chuckled.

“Yeah, maybe.” You said, “Hey so ummm, in a few months the LA Opera is opening up Turandot.” You said and he looked at you quizzically, “I’m sure you know the most famous song, or at least heard it?”

“How does it go?”

“It’s the…Nessun dorma, nessun dorma. Tu pure o principessa, nella tua fredda stanza… you’ve heard it.” You said and he nodded.

“Yeah, I think I have.”

“Yeah, it’s this incredible Italian opera and I’ve always wanted to see it but none of my friends are really into that. Not that you are, but you said you like classical music, this is kind of a branch of of that…in a way and-”

“I’d love to go.” He said and you smiled.

“Really?”

“Yeah, sure. We could tally off another one of our appearances.” He said and you bit your lip as the pang of hurt radiated from your chest and out to the rest of your body. But you smiled and nodded.

“Y-yeah, exactly. Just get another one of those out of the way.” You responded, trying your best to ward off the growing knot that was lodged up in your throat. You really were just inviting him as a friend, not as part of your PR arrangement, so the sting of rejection remained.

“Cool, I’ll get the details from my team then.”

“Yeah.” You nodded, holding back the need to cry now. It hurt so bad, you hadn’t been in this position in a long while, the unrequited affections position. You really just struggled with dating so you hadn’t really spent a lot of time with someone you were into in a long time so everything was just intensified in a way, including the disappointment. You quickly opened up the door to get him out of there as soon as possible so that you could go cry it out for a bit. “Remember we don’t shoot tomorrow morning.” You reminded and he smiled.

“Positive?” He asked as he turned to you and you nodded.

“It’s an afternoon shoot tomorrow.”

“Okay, thank you. When’s call time?”

“For you it’s 3pm.” You said and he nodded.

“Okay…I really should start adding these to my calendar.”

“You should.” You concurred as he turned back to you with a smile.

“Well, I’ll see you tomorrow then.” He said and you nodded and he stepped closer and went in for a hug. You did hug sometimes, but you didn’t want to just now, but you gave in anyway, relaxing into his embrace as he squeezed around you just a bit. “Sleep well, alright?” He said softly as he started to pull back and you nodded but then he turned his head a bit and your noses bumped together.

“Sorry-”

“S’my fault.” He chuckled and then glanced down at your lips. “I ummm…” he trailed off and just grabbed your jaw gently and tilted it up and kissed you quickly on the lips. You didn’t even have time to react before he pulled away. “Shit.” He cursed. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry! Obviously, that was a mistake, I shouldn’t have done that.” He rambled as he let you go and took a step back.

“It’s alright, Harry.” You said and he shook his head.

“I didn’t even ask you and ummm…I don’t know, something just came over me and I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean t-to kiss you. Fuck…” he cursed at himself.

“Harry, I’m not upset. It’s fine.” You assured, trying to hint at the fact that you were very okay with this.

“It’s not fine, Y/N. It’s not.” He said firmly and you couldn’t help it as your eyes started to well up, “It was a mistake. I’m not like into- like it just happened, okay?” He said instead and you just nodded. He was backed up enough now that he couldn’t see your glassy eyes all that well anymore.

“I get it, Harry. Drive safe.” You rushed out and then hurried inside and closed your door before locking it and resting your forehead against it as a soft sob broke past your throat.

*****************

After the initial shock wore off Harry rushed up to your door again, about to knock and apologize again but just as his first raised up he heard the latch of the deadbolt and sighed in defeat. He rested his forehead against the thick door for just a moment before he walked to his car. He got in and then glanced up to see if he could spot you through a window or make out where in the house you were by the flick of a light, but it just stayed dark for a minute or so and he shook his head.

“Fuck…fuck me.” He grumbled before taking off.

Harry actually had no idea where that impulse to kiss you had come from. He did like you, he wouldn’t have agreed to anything more than the film if he didn’t. And he had also had so much fun working with you so far, it was just so easy and such a good vibe that he often forgot that it was “work”. Like tonight, after having a few glasses of wine he was feeling rather touchy and vulnerable, like he usually did when he drank, and it was so nice to feel that relaxed around you. He felt comfortable and it really was just one of those impulsive thoughts that he had. He had thought about kissing you before, you would for the film. But lately it was on his mind a lot more because those scenes would start filming soon. Maybe even in the upcoming week.

Harry wanted to call Tommy or Jeffrey and tell them what he did but he kew he’d get an earful and he didn’t want that right now. He just needed a little sympathy and possibly another drink. So he called one his more discrete friends as she also lived in Beverly Hills, just about 10 minutes away from you. And they sat out by the fire pit as they sipped on a cocktail. He was petting at her dog’s back while he shared what he’d done and how anxious he was feeling about having to face you at work now. He told her about the PR stunt and how he felt like he’d majorly crossed a line. And when she asked him why he was beating himself over this so much he wasn’t sure what to say. And she helped talk him down and reminded him that if you had said it was OK and you weren’t angry that this was entirely about him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’re making it bigger than it is. I mean…do you like her?”

“Of course I like her. We get along really well and-”

“You know what I mean, H.” She said with a knowing smile and he licked over his lips.

“Yeah, I guess I do a bit. Like starting too but I can’t you know? Last time I got involved with a co-worker it didn’t turn out so great for her. People were cruel.” He said.

“Well this isn’t last time. But I mean, if that’s now a boundary that you really don’t want to test ever again then do what’s going to make you feel better. But I mean, attraction and feelings are sort of out of our hands, you know?” She said with a smile, “And burying those too deep also isn’t good for you.”

“Yeah.” He sighed.

“Did she kiss back?”

“No.” He said quietly and she hummed, “I mean, it was fast…maybe she would have…I’m glad I didn’t stick around to find out though.” He admitted.

“So…I think you know how you want to proceed then.” She said and he sighed and nodded.

“Yeah, I guess…I guess I do.”

He ended up staying the night there as neither of them had anything in the morning. But he headed home after one final pep talk from her, he needed to mentally prepare for seeing you again. He was an absolute wreck over it, his stomach was turning anxiously when he arrived before his call time just to talk to you, you were likely already there in hair and makeup. There was a dinner party scene you guys were filming, it was the scene where his character began to see yours in a different light. Very appropriate.

“Hey Harry.” One of staffers greeted him as he breezed by.

“Hello!” He waved and then pushed up his glasses further not he bridge of his nose. He hurried over to the hair/makeup trailer. He knocked and heard a cheerful “come in!” From the artist Veronica. Harry stepped inside and as soon as your eyes met through the mirror you looked away quickly and then his eyes met Veronica’s.

“Hey H! I wasn’t expecting you yet!” She said with a smile.

“Just wanted to drop by a bit earlier.” He said and she nodded.

“Well feel free to sit, I’m almost done with Y/n. I’m ahead of schedule.”

“Thanks, ummm, I actually needed a word w-with Y/n.” He said to her, “If I can?” He asked and then glanced to you, to see if that was alright with you. You held his gaze for a second before you nodded.

“It’ll just be a moment, V.” You said to her.

“Maybe like 5-10 minutes.” He said to you and your inhale literally stopped. Your stomach fluttered violently, your heart pounded hard, and your mouth slightly dried.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll go get a drink. Do you guys want anything from the cafe?”

“No thanks, I’m good.”, “No thank you.” You and Harry responded and she smiled and gave him a pat on the arm as she walked past him and out of the trailer. Harry approached and sat in the seat adjacent to yours. You turned to him and he looked sad, defeated.

“Y/n, I’m so fucking sorry.” He apologized again and your eyes flickered down to your lap and you shook your head with a small smile.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Harry.” You assured him, “I’m not mad. Quite frankly I’m relieved because…because I…I uh-”

“Please, don’t.” He interrupted and your eyes fluttered up to his as the lump in your throat grew, “I know you what you’re about to say. Please don’t say it.” He implored and you bit down on your lip to hold back from frowning. “It doesn’t work. It won’t.” He said with certainty, “I’ve been there…I’ve fallen in love with a really wonderful person who was working along side me and it messed her up.” He said with a frown. “I can’t do that to anyone ever again.” He explained.

“I get it.” You whispered.

“Believe me, it’s hard. I think we work well together, don’t we. We mesh!”

“Really nicely.” You agreed.

“Yeah.” He confirmed, “So let’s-lets just do what we need to do and call it a day.”

“Okay.” You nodded your head robotically. You just shut down all your feelings because you couldn’t show him how deep in it you were by now. If you could save yourself from anything, at least the embarrassment.

“Does this change anything for you in terms of like the dates-er appearances w-we have to do?” He asked and you shook your head.

“No. Don’t want to make a fuss. Fred is kind of a nag, don’t want him harping and teasing me about it until something more embarrassing or astonishing makes him forget it.” You said.

“Yeah, they can give you a hard time…” he said and you nodded.

“Well uh- actually there is one thing.” You said and he nodded, “T-the opera thing ummm, let’s not do that.” You said and he frowned a bit, “It’s just that when I asked I ummm…I wasn’t asking you to go as an idea for the appearances. This kind of means a lot to me and I was actually asking you to come with me as a friend.” You clarified, “I’d want to go with well…someone who-”

“I get it.” He said with a small smile.

“Thank you.” You nodded.

“Well that’s it I guess.”

“Yeah.” You whispered and he stood and left quite awkwardly.

Once again, he was kicking himself over what he’d just done but it was for the best. He needed to put an end to this before he let himself like you a little too much and it ruined everything. Or worse, he gave in and you guys tried for a bit before things inevitably went to shit because of how awful the public were to you until they wore you down…better safe than sorry. He needed to stop this before it was too late.

***************

You were definitely hurt but you understood where Harry was coming from. And maybe he was right, it was just a bad idea to get involved more than professionally. Admittedly, if you had been in the place of his last girlfriend there was no way you could’ve been as poised as she was through all of it. Through all of the rumors, all of the hate, all of the lies, all of the tasteless jokes… you were confident in yourself but not to that extent, surely you’d have a public breakdown at some point with all of that pressure.

But as the days went by you realized that you’d soon be filming the more intimate parts of this film. Normally, films didn’t film chronologically but this one did. The director really wanted to capture the natural growing closeness between you and Harry as filming progressed. Truth be told, you were acting your asses off and everyone on the set was buying it even though the bond between you two had broken down. Even your dates were different; you guys weren’t talking as much as before or learning more and more details about each other like before. Now you mostly talked about work to him or your plans after filming but nothing too personal.

You were still nervous for the intimate scenes though, that’s what you would be doing today, the first intimate scene. You would surely do something to give away just how real your yearning was for him. Your actions couldn’t lie. Especially after you hadn’t been able to kiss back when he’d kissed you a few weeks before.

“Nervous?” Veronica asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, a bit.” You confessed.

“Don’t be. Just work with the natural tension and attraction the two of you already have going on and it’ll be perfect.”

“What do you mean?”

“Girl, you’re really gonna make me say it?” She said with a tsk.

“There’s nothing else going on.” You said and she gave you a disbelieving look.

“What was that a couple weeks ago with the “ten minute talk” he needed to have with you?” She asked you.

“It genuinely was a talk. We had a misunderstanding and I was a little upset at him.” You explained and her gaze softened from teasing and playful to sorry for assuming.

“Oh…I could’ve sworn that you guys-”

“No. No. I mean…I…I like him. Like that.” You said a bit shamefully and she pouted and sat down in the seat beside yours and nodded as she listened, “It’s kind of impossible not to when we spend so much time together and have gotten to know each other the way we have. Like god, it’s so amateur of me…” you shook your head and she sighed.

“Hey, no. Look at me, hon. Attraction is natural, you can’t help how you feel or how your brain responds to something! And quite frankly I think he…likes you too.” She said and you smiled sadly and shook your head.

“He doesn’t, that’s what he said that day. That he didn’t want to blur the lines and like…it’s been so weird since. So dry and robotic…ugh, I hate it so much. I don’t know how I can do this for another eight weeks.” You sighed.

“Well after you have to kiss all day just…act cool. It’s whatever, yeah? I’ve kissed tons of people and not all of it has to mean something, you know?”

“Yeah… I hope I can.”

“You can. You can do it. And i-if you need to talk about it or just be sad about it after you can talk to me. I won’t say a thing. Promise.” She assured you.

“Thank you.” You said to Veronica and she smiled and nodded.

“Of course, hon.” she assured and this made you feel better. You could certainly get through the next weeks of filming if you had someone to talk to about this.

…. 8 WEEKS LATER ….

The lighting was dim as you approached the front door, the heavy and constant knocks on the door made you hasten your step. You finally opened the door to see Harry drenched from head to toe, clothes clinging to his skin as his eyes met yours.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked, your features creased in confusion as he stepped froward and you stepped back into the entrance.

“I needed to see you.” He said as he swung the front door back and it closed with a heavy thud.

“You just saw me-”

“I didn’t like seeing you with him.” He said coming closer and you sighed.

“Listen-”

“He’s not nearly good enough for you.” He said to you firmly and you scoffed.

“As much as I valued your opinion before, I don’t really care for it right now and I didn’t ask.” You responded.

“You didn’t need to. I know you.” He said as he reached for you and you increased the distance between the two of you.

“No you don’t. Not anymore.” You shook your head as your eyes started to well up.

“Don’t say that.” He frowned, the hurt evident on his face, “You’re my best friend. I know you.” He insisted again and you let out a sarcastic laugh.

“We haven’t spoken since…” you trailed off and swallowed thickly.

“Since I let you walk away.” He finished your thought for you and you nodded. “I was scared.” He admitted.

“You weren’t scared with April or Sarah.” You said and he sighed.

“They weren’t you. There was more to lose with you.” He explained and you shook your head.

“That’s a miserable excuse. You always do this!” You groaned with frustration, “You see that I’ve moved on, that I’m happy and then you come to me and make me believe you-”

“I know you’re not happy.” He interrupted.

“I’m happier than when I’m playing this stupid game with you!” You raised your voice, your breathing shallow as you expressed your frustration and he frowned. “You say you love me and fuck me and then say we can’t be together!”

“Can’t you see how that proves how much I love you?” He asked sincerely, his eyes meeting yours and you glanced away and shook your head, “I’ve loved you this whole time but I can’t risk losing my best friend.” He said and you sniffled as your tears started to fall.

“You don’t love me.” You rejected his claim, “You love who I’ve been for you. Always available, desperate for you to realize that I’ve been here the whole time, but I’m not that person anymore. I don’t need you any more.” You said and he frowned, “You don’t know what’s it been like…” you said to him with a sad smile, “Being here. Waiting. Watching you choose someone else over and over again and when it fails you come running back to me. But I’ve realized that if I wasn’t good enough to be your first or second choice, surely I’m not enough for you now. And I never will be.” You said to him, your voice cracked a bit.

“You are enough. You’re more than! I just wasn’t good enough for you. I didn’t want to hurt you and lose you.” He explained reaching for your hands and you pulled them out of his grip.

“Well, you hurt me any way. And you lost me anyway. And now that you know you’ve lost me you hate to see it. Well good.” You seethed and he frowned.

“Baby-”

“Don’t. Don’t start with that.” You warned with a frown, “I don’t believe you anymore. I gave my heart over to you every time, like an idiot, thinking that I’d be safe with you and every single time you’ve disappointed me! Well, not anymore.” You said and he reached for you again. “Please leave.”

“I’m not leaving until you tell me that you love me too.” He pressed and you scoffed.

“You need to move on!” You laughed incredulously.

“I can’t! Believe me, I’ve tried!” He raised his voice, his breathing hard, “I’m sorry that I’ve hurt you and that I’ve disappointed you but I’m not afraid anymore.” He said reaching for your hands once more and this time you let him take them, “I’m not afraid of the love we have for each other. I will do anything I can to prove to you that it’ll be different this time. That I won’t disappoint you ever again.” He said earnestly, “Please.” He begged and you swallowed thickly. “I need you like I need air! Being away from you has been torture. And seeing you with someone else has been worse than torture.” He said grabbing your jaw and angling you up gently. His thumb wiped your tears away carefully and you closed your eyes, “Nuh-uh, look at me.” He insisted and your eyes blinked open and met his again. “Say it. Say that you love me, baby. I need to hear you say it.” He practically begged as he leaned in closer.

“I love you.” You whispered and he quickly closed the gap between you.

His warm, plump lips met your own hungrily. The soft wet sounds of your kisses and shallow breaths were the only noises in the background, everything was perfectly still otherwise and it really felt like you two were the only people in the world in this moment. You were so close his sopping clothes were transferring the wetness to your own top and his strong hands were holding you low on your hips now, you could feel the cold of them through the thin sleep shorts you were in. “I love you, I do.” You mumbled against his lips and then pulled back and he chased after you but you turned your head to the side and squeezed your eyes shut as he kissed the corner of your mouth and up your jaw, “But I love me more.” You said as you pushed him back and he loosened his grip on you as he pulled back to look at you, his disappointment evident in his gaze, his eyes searching yours. “I’m more than a last resort.” You said and he frowned, “I always chose you and you never chose me, so I’m choosing myself over you this time.” You said and he looked at you with disappointment.

“Cara-”

“You’re going to be okay.” You assured him and he shook his head.

“What a silly thing to say.” He whispered with doubt, a sad smile on his lips.

“If I am after everything, you will be too.” You assured him with a half smile and he let you go.

“I’m sorry.” He apologized quite pitifully and you nodded.

“I know.” You said once more and he rolled his lips together and nodded before silently turning around and heading out the door. You walked over and turned the lock and then turned around and let out a long exhale and then your lips turned up in a small, but sincere smile as you glanced up to the ceiling and made direct eye contact with the camera peering down at you.

“CUT!” The director shouted and you exhaled and your smile widened, “And that’s a wrap!” She shouted and everyone broke out in a cheer. She rushed over and hugged you tight, praising you for how excellent this final scene was. Harry came over as well and got his own hug from her, thanking him for his delivery and congratulating him on a job well done. You also gave him a brief hug before greeting others from the cast.

All the raw emotions of the project being completed really helped you guys along this final scene. It had been one of those magical moments where the first take went perfectly. You guys ran through the entire dialogue and it worked exactly as everyone had envisioned it. Truly, you hardly even noticed the cameras around you guys. The film would be released on Prime in three short months, which was when your contractual obligation to each other would end. Your appearances together were going to be far more “private” now that filming was about to wrap. Sure, you’d be seen out at places together, but it was supposed to start to slow down. You had prepared what you would say when someone inevitably asked you what was going on between you two during the promo tour and press junkets. That you guys got really close to the characters and also each other during filming and just let these bleed together while filming and that obviously, it had started to cool down since you weren’t seeing each other every single day for 10 to 11 of the 24 hours the day had.

“We did it.” Harry said as he came up to you as you guys got ready to go and you nodded.

“Yeah. It’s crazy that it’s already done.” You chuckled, still a little bit in shock and he nodded.

“Right…well I did have fun filming with you.”

“Same.” You said with a small smile and he nodded.

“Are you going to the cast dinner tomorrow?”

“Of course, I’m in the cast…” You said through a chuckle.

“Duh…” he said nervously as he looked down at his feet in a bit of embarrassment.

“Well I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“Yeah.” You confirmed and turned to get into your car and just offered one final wave before you took off.

You glanced back to see him still standing there, watching you go. You were glad your windows were tinted so that he couldn’t see you staring back, but you just weren’t sure what to feel. As much as you were into him, you were dreading the rest of your time “together”. Clearly to him this was just like any other task he had for work, maybe he was used to this but you weren’t. You’d never done anything like this before and you kind of expected him to be a little more understanding and not so harsh and cold about it like he had been with you.

…. TWO MONTHS LATER ….

Harry wasn’t that clueless, he noticed the shift in your interactions with him after filming ended. Almost as if you were relieved that you wouldn’t have to see each other every single day for hours and hours at a time. He knew that you liked him and he wished he had handled that differently because clearly the way he went about it hurt your feelings to the extent that you’d gone completely cold on him.

When you’d go out and he’d grab your hand it was dead weight in his grip. When he’d drape his arm around your shoulder he could feel the tension in them. And when you’d exchange “loving glances” your smile didn’t light up your eyes like before. Maybe it was just what you needed to do to get through the last month of this stunt but it was just going bad now. He wanted to apologize but he had no idea what he even needed to apologize for because he wasn’t sorry about the conversation he’d had with you.

You guys needed to tighten things up at the personal level, clearly he got far too comfortable with you fast and it scared him. He didn’t want to get hurt again and he didn’t want to hurt you either. He’d done this to protect you both from getting far more involved than necessary and now he felt like even the potential friendship he could have with you was crumbling before him which was really unfortunate.

He was feeling bummed out as he drove past your tall, wooden gate and up the long driveway to your house. He saw another car there but didn’t really mind it as he parked somewhere out of its way. He was getting out of his car when the front door opened and out rushed some guy who definitely looked familiar, probably some other industry guy. His hair was wet and he looked a bit surprised to see Harry there, so he rushed to his car.

“Hey!” He called after him and hurried towards him.

“Look man, she said you guys aren’t dating and-”

“Wait, she slept with you?” Harry asked with a small frown.

“So you are dating?” He asked and Harry shook his head ‘no’, “Thank, fuck. Then, yes, we did.” He said and Harry nodded and swallowed thickly.

“Is she- can I go in?”

“Yeah, she’s just finishing up her shower.” He said and Harry nodded.

“Thanks, mate.” He mumbled before heading towards the door.

With every step he took the anger rose and rose further and further. You were being reckless, putting everything in jeopardy all to what? Get back at him for not liking you back? He was waiting in the kitchen, but when he heard you singing along to whatever was playing on your phone as you made your way down he hurried out to meet you. When he rounded the corner and saw you coming down the final step you gasped in surprise.

“Oh my god, Harry!” You scolded with a hand over your chest as you put your music on pause. He didn’t answer so you walked past him, “You’re here a lot early.” You said to him playfully as he followed you wordlessly. He was just so fuming mad after seeing a faint hickey right beneath your jaw, “Hello?” You questioned him until his frustrated gaze met yours.

“What the fuck is the matter with you?” He questioned you.

“What’re you talking about?”

“I saw him leaving. That guy.” He came right out and said it.

“Look, it was a spur of the moment thing, we were just having dinner and one thing led to another and-”

“You fucked him.” He said and you sighed. “How could you do that?” He asked you in disbelief.

“What do you mean? It’s not like we’re actually together.” You scoffed and he frowned but then let the anger overcome him once more.

“Exactly! We’re not together and if anyone sees some stupid dweeb leaving your house then all of this is going to be for nothing!” He rationalized.

“Oh my god, no one’s gonna see anything, Harry…”

“They might see that fucking hickey on your neck!” He argued, “How clueless can you be?!” He was berating you now, his voice raised and his expression creased in a scowl and you frowned.

“I didn’t think about that. I mean, I-I can cover it. If not, they’ll just think it was you.” You said more quietly.

“No one would ever believe that was me. I have never left visible marks on anyone I’ve been with. My fans will never buy it.” He said pointedly. “You can’t do shit with other people while we are contractually obligated to each other. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, Y/N!”

“Well, there is no clause about that! And I was careful!”

“Not careful enough! I can’t believe you would do something so stupid and all for what? To get back at me?” He scoffed with an accusatory tone and now it was your turn to scoff incredulously.

“Oh, don’t fucking flatter yourself, Harry!” You laughed mawkishly as you rolled your eyes up in disbelief.

“Don’t pretend like you didn’t do this on purpose to piss me off.”

“Why would I want to piss you off if I have to spend a whole fucking day with you?” You asked him and well, he had no idea. “He likes me and he wanted to have dinner with me. I said I couldn’t do that out in public so I offered for him to come over instead.”

“He doesn’t like you, he just wanted to fuck you.” Harry said with a sarcastic smile.

“Well good for him then! He did!”

“You’re being childish.”

“I’m being childish? You’re the one waltzing in here over an hour early, might I add, yelling at me because I hooked up with someone in the privacy of my home when we’re not even a thing!”

“I already told you why I’m angry at you over this.”

“Well I already told you that I was careful! This is my first time doing something like this and I made a bad judgment call. I genuinely didn’t think it would be a problem.” You said and he shook his head.

“You knew it would be. You did it to get back at me for…never mind.” He huffed and rolled his eyes.

“For what? Finish the sentence, Harry.” You demanded.

“You know why.” He said lowly and you arched your eyebrows up.

“I don’t. Enlighten me, please.” You insisted.

“Because of what I said to you before about us. I hurt your feelings and-”

“Yeah, you were kind of a prick about it but I’m not offended. You were right about that and I think I’ve done enough to manage what I used to feel for you-”

“Used to feel? The wave of hostility you’ve unleashed upon me after I rejected you says otherwise. And I think you’re just acting out because you can’t get a handle on your feelings. You’re being impulsive and it’s going to throw a wrench in things!”

“I’m being impulsive? Who kissed who, Harry? I’m forgetting…” You said sarcastically and he glanced to the ground.

“That was a mistake.”

“Yeah, you’ve made that abundantly clear over and over again, thanks.” You said with irritation. “And I’m not being hostile. I’m doing what I need to do until we just get this stupid thing over with!” You said to him, completely exasperated, “I’ve never done this before, OK? I didn’t expect t-to like you like I do-er did.” You corrected yourself with a shake of your head, “I’m sure it was weird for you the first time you did it.” You said and his jaw clenched up because you were right.

His first PR stunt fucked him up for a while…he was still a teenager, frontal lobe smooth as butter. But he let himself fall and he thought she was too and well, to this day he was still a hot topic amongst her projects. It did bother him a little bit at first, he reckoned it’d bother anyone but he didn’t give it the satisfaction of a negative response ever. He changed the narrative, called it a compliment even though he had no idea where the fuck he was going with that at the moment. He never said a bad thing even through his music even though he’d been painted as the “bad guy” who was a player and couldn’t commit over and over again. He’d hoped it would work out but to anyone outside of it, it was kind of obvious that it wouldn’t go anywhere. After all, what could a 23 year old want with a 18 year old in any serious manner? The point being, that these PR stunts and crossing professional lines always left one or both people hurting if they weren’t overly cautious, which is why he had said what he had said to you.

But now he was jealous, gut wrenchingly jealous when he shouldn’t be. You had made a mistake but you had been cautious to not endanger what you guys had signed on for. He was being far too harsh with you and sensitive about this and he needed to reel it back in. You were waiting for him to say something, anything…

“You shouldn’t have done that. It was a stupid mistake.” He said again and you swallowed thickly.

“Yeah, I get it.” You responded lowly.

“Do you?” He asked. He was patronizing you and you glanced up to the ceiling and shook your head.

“Harry, honestly, I don’t need this. Please leave.” You said to him and he frowned.

“But we-”

“I don’t want to be with you for the whole fucking day and pretend that I like you.” You said and he felt his heart shrivel up.

“We have an obligation to do an appearance-”

“Well I’ll see you around dinner time then because I don’t want to be around you right now.” You said to him and he bit on the inside of his cheek to distract from the hurt in his heart.

“Yeah, alright.” He said lowly and turned around to leave.

“Congrats by the way.” You said to him and he sighed and looked back at you quizzically, “You got what you wanted this whole time, I don’t think I like you anymore.” You said to him callously and he suddenly wanted to throw up so he just hurried out of there and sat in his car in utter silence for a few minutes before taking off.

You guys did meet over dinner and he apologized for how he’d handled the whole situation earlier that day. You'd cooled off enough as well and apologized for not considering what he had mentioned and assured him that you wouldn’t do it again while you were contractually obligated to each other. He was hoping to hear you say that you didn’t mean what you’d said about not liking him anymore, but he never got the satisfaction. He was certain you’d spoken purely out of anger with him, especially after he’d been such a dick about it, but maybe you just needed to tell yourself that to really not let your feelings grow anymore than they had or even to just not have some illusion that he was jealous. Which he was, but he’d never admit that to you or anyone else, he hardly admitted it to himself. But by the end of the night you were both very cordial with each other and able to hug before heading your own ways.

…. FOUR MONTHS LATER ….

The film had been a success to say the least. It was getting decent reviews and your press for it had been good. After you and Harry had put aside your problems after your fight things got monumentally better. There were tons of questions about whether you guys were dating or not and you both explained your attraction and dedication to your roles expertly, leaving a hint of mystery behind every time this came up, in very Harry-esque nature. But each night before you went to bed in whatever city you were for the night you thought of Harry, how could you not?

Of course you still liked him, even now, after months of not seeing each other your heart went all soft and gooey at the thought of him. Yeah, you had said that you didn’t like him anymore hoping to get a reaction out of him when you fought. You knew that he was jealous that day and you wanted him to just admit it, you wanted to get a rise out of him and hope he spoke up but in his true obstinate nature, he never did. You wondered what would’ve happened if he had admitted it. Where would you be now? Probably on a vacation somewhere really getting to know the parts of each other that you’d left guarded, which admittedly weren’t many.

“Earth to Y/N…” your friend said, snapping you out of your thoughts and you chuckled in slight embarrassment.

“Sorry, what?” You asked.

“I asked if you and Harry still talk.” She repeated her question.

“Oh right…ummm, n-not really. It’s not like we’re close friends, we just worked together. We just had to be super chummy during the press tours and stuff. Like it was a really superficial friendship I’d say.” You fibbed and she sighed.

“So no free shows for us…” She mumbled and you smiled a bit and shrugged apologetically, “You had one job.” She joked and you giggled before getting back to eat and everyone else started talking again.

In reality, you and Harry had gotten close after spending so much time together. You’d shared a lot of things with him and vise versa. He had been a little more hesitant to take it there but after a good month or so of constantly being around each other and “seeing each other” he started to open up about more real and deep things. Things like how much he worried about his mom, how she deserved to be happy and have a full life full of love. How he was worried that he’d never be able to really stop making music and touring at the level he did now and it would affect his ability to marry and have his own family. How he wished there was a way to know that you were doing the right thing or going down the best path and you guys talked about that a lot. About what “the right thing” was. About what it meant to be happy and fulfilled. What was most important to him now and could he afford to keep pushing the rest of his life back to relish where he was now.

You were an over thinker, much like him, and you guys talked about how nice it was when you didn’t worry so much and just lived day to day, focusing on that day’s challenges and blessings. It was nice, you felt comfortable around him and safe, looked after. He was good at making people feel seen and special and with all of that it was hard not to start to fall for him. You missed him a lot. You wanted to text him or call him sometimes just to see how he was doing, what he was up to, if by any chance he missed you too…When you had that thought you smiled to yourself a bit and talked yourself out of it. Of course he didn’t miss you, he was probably glad you were gone, something less for him to deal with and worry about.

****************

Harry’s POV

Harry had been lying in bed for a good hour already, drifting in and out of sleep. He canceled his work out and his morning swim, he didn’t have the energy to go to that right now. And that’s how he knew that he was in a bad way, when even those simple pleasures weren’t even a little appealing to him. In all honesty, he’d been feeling like this for a few weeks now and it all started when he was at dinner with some friends and one of your songs came over the speakers at the restaurant. At first it felt good to hear your voice, it made him feel happy and warm inside, but when he was at home later that night and all alone in his bed he started to miss you. And he felt so awful.

He felt awful about how he’d handled his attraction towards you. He hated how afraid he was of doing what his heart asked him to. He missed going on “dates” with you. He missed the conversations you guys had, he missed seeing the sincere care in your eyes when he shared things or opened up about topics he felt nervous about. He was never judged by you, in fact he felt accepted with you. He looked forward to the time you’d spend together off the set for a reason, it was because he liked you. A lot. And now he felt foolish for being too scared to admit it when he had the chance. He was sad when he came to the realization that you’d probably moved on and closed off your heart to him after how he behaved.

Regardless, he wanted to see you or at the very least to hear your voice. He at least needed to reach out and let you know that he was thinking of you. He did have a trip to LA in a few weeks and he decided that he’d reach out and see if you wanted to hang out for a bit, he only had two days of work things to take care of but he could add a few more days to his travel plans if it meant making things right with you.

…. A FEW WEEKS LATER ….

You were genuinely shocked when Harry’s name lit up your phone screen one breezy afternoon. It was past midnight his time so you had a mind to just ignore it, he was probably drunk or something…but then you remembered how sweet and giggly he was when he’d had a little much to drink, so you swiped at your screen and brought your phone up to your ear.

“Hello?”

“Hey!” He sounded relieved. Relieved that you had answered?

“Ummm…are you drunk?” You asked immediately and he huffed out a little chuckle.

“No…why would I be drunk at this hour?” He asked and you furrowed your eyebrows a little bit in confusion.

“Well you’re calling me past midnight your time so I just assumed. Unless something is wrong? Are you okay?” You asked next.

“Yeah, I’m fine. And I’m actually on your time. And while I enjoy day drinking as much as the next person I can assure you I am not drunk. I just ummm…I wanted to see if you had any free time in the next couple days or so? Maybe we could see each other?” He suggested hopefully and you felt your stomach sink.

The less mature part of you wanted to be a smart ass with him, tell him you didn’t need to hang out as your contract was long over. But you did miss him and as much as his invitation raised up some of your past irritations with him it wasn’t worth being a bitch to him over, especially after all of that time. Maybe this was him extending an olive branch? Maybe you guys could be proper friends now that your working relationship was over.

“Ummm, yeah. I actually don’t have any plans at all the next few days.” You explained.

“And work?”

“I’m not doing anything right now just relishing in the big bucks from our hit rom-com.” You said with a dry sarcasm and he chuckled.

“God, already letting all that fame get to your head, are you?” He teased and you giggled.

“Yeah, I’m changed.” You responded and he laughed. “Well, what did you have in mind?” You asked.

“Dinner? I’m renting this really beautiful place up in the hills and it has the most impeccable views, you’d love it. There’s a hot tub and a pool and a piano, we could just hang out here for a while? Or if you prefer to do something in town somewhere we could do that too.”

“Well I do want to see this house you’re staying at but ummm, I don’t want to impose or anything and-”

“I’m inviting you over, you’re not imposing in any way, love.” He assured.

“Alright then. Well when do you prefer I come over?”

“Do you want to do tomorrow? Say around 3 or 4?” He asked and you bit on your lip, “We could talk, swim, share music because I’m certain you’ve been writing.” He said knowingly and you smiled.

“Yeah, that’s good. I’ll show up sometime between 3 and 4, gotta keep you on your toes, you know?”

“Yeah.” He hummed, “So bring your swim suit, or don’t I mean, either way you can expect to get in the water…” he said suggestively and you chuckled.

“Should I bring anything else?”

“No just yourself.” He said and you nodded, “We can plan dinner once you’re here.”

“Alright, sounds good. See ya’.”

“See you soon.” He replied and then you quickly hung up.

You set your phone down on your lap and just let your face contort in confusion. What was that all about? You guys weren’t even friends… sure, things were this easy with him all the time but you couldn’t help but question his motives. Maybe he still felt guilty for how things transpired between the two of you and he just needed to do this to confirm that you weren’t upset at him. You grabbed your phone and called him back, he picked up right away.

“Hello?”

“Why are you doing this?” You asked.

“Wait, what?” He questioned you and you sighed.

“What do you want from me by asking me over to hang out or whatever?” You asked more clearly and Harry frowned upon hearing you asking this.

“Ummm, I didn’t…mean anything by it, it’s just hanging out.” He said and you sighed.

“Right, but we’re not friends.” You said and his heart lurched in his chest, “Now that we aren’t working together we can be or what?” You asked for clarity.

“I mean, yes, i-if you want that?” He said with a questioning tone.

“Okay…” you said and trailed off.

“Is there something wrong with that?” He asked and you weren’t sure how to answer that.

“I just ummm…I don’t know if I can trust that you won’t get all…weird.” You said to him.

“That’s valid.”

“I mean we were friends before. Or at least I considered us t-to have a friendship to some extent and then you just…took that away.” You explained and he nodded with a frown as he heard you out.

“I think we were friends too.” He agreed, “I just have a hard time letting people in.”

“And now you don’t?” You asked.

“No, I certainly do but I…” he sighed and licked over his lips as he plopped down on the couch as he stared at the ceiling as he decided to just admit it, “I miss you.” He confessed and you bit your lip upon hearing his words. You hoped it would stop the butterflies that were starting to flutter about in your tummy but it wasn’t doing much. “Honestly Y/N, I don’t think I handled the relationship between us the right way and-”

“Can I come over right now?” You interrupted him.

“Ummm, y-yes. Sure.” He said nervously.

“I just think we ought to have this conversation in person.” You explained and he smiled a bit. God, you had to make it harder for him, didn’t you?

“You’re right.” He conceded. “I’ll send you the address right now.”

“Should I still bring a swim suit?” You asked, he could heard the smirk on your face and he chuckled. Your smiled widened at your successful attempt to lighten the mood.

“We can talk things out in the hot tub.” He joked.

“I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Yeah, drive safe.” He said and you thanked him and hung up again.

You headed up to your room and grabbed a bathing suit, a simple, paisley print, two-piece and dropped it into your tote and then took off. You were nervous, not so much about what he would say but at the prospect of you leaving with any sense of false hope. Yeah, he missed you, but that didn’t really mean anything but that. You couldn’t or shouldn’t read into that in any way. When you were all in your head like this time just escaped you and soon enough you were pulling up to the gate and putting in the code he had texted you before you started heading up the driveway. You only waited a few moments at the door after ringing the doorbell before he opened it up.

“Hi.” He said softly with a smile on his face and you smiled back.

“Hey.” You responded, you just looked at each other for a few moments before he chuckled and moved out of the way.

“Oh, come in. Please.” He said and allowed you to step inside. You looked around as he locked up. The home was very modern, an open concept type of thing and it had one of those sunken living rooms that were making a come back.

“This is cool.” You complimented.

“Yeah, I like it a lot.” He said as he came up beside you and looked out at the space. “Ummm, can I get you something to drink? Or a snack if you’re hungry? I have…watermelon.” He said and you smiled.

“No thanks, I’m alright.” You assured him and he nodded and just looked over you for a few more moments. It made you feel all tingly so you cleared your throat and he looked down at the ground.

“Ummm so let’s just…we can sit over here and talk.” He said signaling towards the living room and you nodded and followed him down the small set of steps leading down to the couches. “Feel free to get comfy wherever.”

“Thanks.” You said as you headed towards one of the corners of the large sectional and slipped off your shoes before you nestled in, legs criss-crossed over each other as you pulled a pillow into your lap. Harry settled in near you, one of his legs tucked under him and the other hanging off of the couch. He looked a bit pensive, not entirely sure how or where to start and you were getting a little impatient.

“So you…missed me.” You said simply and he glanced into you eyes and nodded.

“Yeah, I have been for…a while.” He confirmed and you sighed.

“I have too…a little bit.” You admitted as you looked down into your lap and he smiled.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of, we did spend a lot of time together so…”

“Yeah, true.” You sighed.

“So ummm, what I was saying before…” he started and you nodded, “I didn’t go about things the right way with you. I could’ve been…”

“Less of a dick?” You interjected and he smiled down at his lap, when he looked up at you, you were already smiling.

“I was going to say nicer about it but same thing, I guess.” He chuckled and you did as well. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and while my reasons for it were really valid, I think, it doesn’t mean that I handled it well and I…regret hurting your feelings. I’m sorry.” He said and you hummed.

“Thank you. I just…was -er still am a bit confused about that because, I mean, I told you that I’d never done something like this before and I don’t know…I guess I was just expecting you to be a little bit more understanding or even just compassionate with me about the whole thing, you know?” You explained and he nodded.

“I wish I had been. I really do.” He said with a small frown. “I can explain actually.” He said and you nodded, “And this is not an excuse at all, it’s just that, an explanation.” He added and you nodded again, “When I kissed you I…I realized how much I was starting to like you and it scared me.” He explained, “And it took me back to what I’d been through before and I didn’t want that again, not for me, but especially not for you.” He explained, “So I decided that I wasn’t going to allow my feelings for you to grow any more or go any further than that.” He said and your gaze on him softened, “And well, i-it worked well enough for a bit. It was easier when we were working to remind myself that it was for the best. And then we fought and you told me you didn’t like me anymore and I felt like shit but I was also glad because you deserved better than that.” He said with a frown. “But when we went our own ways it got worse…not worse, you know what I mean.” He said nervously, “I just thought about you all the time- er I have been thinking about you this whole time. Just wondering i-if you think about me too sometimes…I mean, I know that you don’t feel that way about me any more but-”

“I do.” You cut in and he looked surprised.

“After all of that?” He asked softly and you nodded.

“You more than made up for it on the press tour.” You assured him, “I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or upset you so I buried it all but I still like you. I mean, how could I not?” You chuckled and he smiled at you. “And I’m sorry for the way I said I didn’t, I wanted to make you upset.” You explained.

“Well it worked.” He chuckled and you smiled sadly. “I kind of deserved it though.” He said, “You didn’t ummm…see that guy again did you?” He asked and you smiled.

“I didn’t.” You confirmed and he smiled down at his lap.

“Good.” He mumbled lowly and you just smiled to yourself for a moment, “I really like you, Y/N.” He finally said as his gaze met your own. “And i-if you still like me too then maybe we can try and go an actual date.” He said with hope and you nodded.

“I’d like that.” You agreed and he smiled wider.

“Okay, that’s…that’s good to hear.” He chuckled nervously, “So tomorrow d-do you want to go out and do something with me? I’ve got something in mind.”

“Why not tonight?” You asked with a small pout and he chuckled.

“Because I’d like to make it at least a little bit nice.” He added and you smiled.

“Oh okay, then. That’s fine with me!” You giggled and he chuckled. “I brought my bathing suit so maybe we can go for a swim and have dinner instead, like we planned for tomorrow?”

“Yeah, sounds good.” He agreed easily and you both got changed and then got into the pool where you caught up on how the last few months had been treating you both so far.

Then, you had dinner and watched a film and he reached for your hand while you guys watched. You’d held hands before but now you at least knew it was out of a desire to and not obligation it made the butterflies in your stomach swarm at ungodly rates. As the night wrapped up he walked you out to your car, like the sweet man you knew him to be but it was hard to leave. You guys lingered there, finding random little things to talk about to prevent saying goodbye.

“Thank you for hearing me out, by the way.” He said to you after another small moment of silence and you smiled up at him as you leaned on your car and smiled at him. “You didn’t have to after everything.”

“Of course. I’m really glad you reached out to me.” You assured him and he nodded and pulled you in for a hug for maybe the third time now and you nestled into him and sighed, “I really missed you too.” You hummed softly and he pulled back a little bit, enough to be able to look into your eyes again. Neither of you wanted to let go more than that.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Yes.” You said instantly, “Please.” You chuckled and he did as well as he angled up your face gently by your jaw until he was dipping down enough to smoosh his lips against yours.

He was tentative, he didn’t want to kiss you too hard and hungrily for the first time since the time he’d mucked it up. He wanted you to feel how much he missed you and that despite his previous disrespects, that he in fact did respect you and your time and openness towards him. His fingers skimming along your jaw caused your skin to rise with goosebumps and for a delicious shiver to zing throughout your body. You wanted to lose your cool and just let things get fiery with the tension that simmered between you but he was being so patient himself that it staved off your desperation. You wanted to enjoy how soft and tender he was being right now. You liked how his feelings were emanating from him in intense waves and warming you from the inside out. Finally, he pulled away, it was painful and almost impossible to let him end the kiss.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” He whispered between the two of you and you nodded.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll pick you up around 7.” He informed and you nodded.

“Okay.” You whispered and he pulled you off to the side before opening your car door, “Thanks.”

“Of course.” He smiled and you bit your lip for a moment.

“One for the road?” You asked timidly and he grinned grabbed your face before pecking your lips once more.

“There you are. Now leave while I have the self-control to let you go.” He mumbled between you two and you laughed before settling into your seat and he closed the door behind you. You buckled up and got the engine on and he backed up, giving you room to get going and with a final wave you headed home. You weren’t driving fast at all but it felt like you were flying. You couldn’t stop smiling, even as you settled into bed and stared at the dark ceiling you were wearing a huge smile until you fell asleep.

***************

You’d been on edge all day wondering what it was that he would plan for you two. When you texted to ask what you should wear he said he was going for a semi-casual look, button down with a vest and trousers sort of thing so you decided on going for a similar vibe. You spent hours trying on a variety of combinations and in the end you settled on a black mini skirt with a creme colored, sleeveless knit top. You searched around for your chunky loafers and decided those paired best with the outfit as well. You had blown out your hair that morning so you got it into rollers and threw on a shower cap before you got in and exfoliated your body religiously. You knew your wax girl would kill you, but you ran a razor over your legs to get rid of the slightly prickly layer of hair growing in. You moisturized efficiently and then spritz yourself with your current preferred fragrance, Brit for Her by Burberry.

You had taken a fondness to the scent recently because it reminded you of him. Not that he even smelled like that but just vibe of it made you think of who he was. The prominent or top notes were sweet and fruity. They were bright and intriguing but not overpowering like some fruity perfumes could be. These blended so well with the warmer, darker base notes of vanilla, amber, and mahogany. It created an alluring and irresistible blend of fragrances that seemed to perfectly encompass the feeling he gave you of comfort and warmth and excitement. You wanted it to linger and be memorable, the way he lingered and was memorable to you. Truly, you had no idea where this with him would go or if it would even work out, but you knew he was the kind of person who would leave a mark on you forever.

When you got his call that he was outside you grabbed you gave yourself one more spritz, grabbed your purse, and got into your shoes before hurrying out. He was waiting outside of the car for you, his smiled widened when you saw you going down the steps.

“You look lovely.” He complimented as you approached and you smiled timidly until you got up to him.

“Thank you.” You hummed softly and he pulled you in for a hug and he froze for a second when you hugged him back.

“Fuck…you smell so good.” He hummed against you and you smirked victoriously as he squeezed around you a bit more. “Damn.” He mumbled as he dipped down to kiss right under your jaw and inhale the sweet scent. You giggled as his little bit of stubble lightly tickled your skin as he nuzzled closer.

“Stop that…” You laughed as he nipped at your skin.

“I can’t.” He huffed before kissing up to your lips and pecking over them a few times and pulling away with his lip bitten beneath his teeth.

“Please take me on a date.” You said softly and he smiled.

“Yeah alright.” He agreed with a grin and you giggled as he opened up the door for you. You greeted your driver and settled in as he hurried over to his side and soon enough you were on the road.

“So where are we going?” You asked as your fingers fiddled together and he smiled.

“You’ll see…” he said smugly and you chuckled. You both hummed along to the radio as you tried to figure out where it was you were heading but you seemed to be going in almost a circle as you started heading back towards where your house was. Then you guys turned down a street and you immediate recognized the area and saw the wine bar you guys had been to before just down the way.

“Are we going back to the wine bar?” You asked him and he immediately smiled as you started to slow down before it.

“I desperately need a do over.” He said to you and you smiled, “Things should’ve gone a lot differently than they did that night. So we’re doing it again, correctly this time.” He said with a smile as the car stopped at the valet station up front.

“You’re too sweet.” You said softly and he smiled.

You were soon helped out of the car by the attendant as Harry met you on the sidewalk and you thanked the driver and valet before looping your arms together and heading inside. He gave his name to the young lady at the entrance and she kept her cool as she guided you on back to where you sat the last time you were there. Of course, people were looking but he didn’t seem to mind and soon you were tucked into the back of the bar, mostly covered from everyone’s curious gazes and just smiling at each other across the small table. You guys ordered your first glass and then got to playing Jenga; this one had questions pasted onto the sides of the blocks so you guys went through the tower, giving your responses and discussing these until you toppled it over. You couldn’t help it, your hands were shaky with nerves but also with excitement. He looked so handsome, it was almost painful not to look at him. Soon enough, two glasses turned to four, and you were both giggly and reminiscing your filming days fondly. He had been telling a story about a little mishap he had with one of the modesty garments for one of his scenes with another actress and you two were laughing so hard.

“Wait, wait, wait, I need to go to the bathroom so bad!” You laughed breathily and he chuckled as he let your hand go over the top of the table.

“Yeah, love you go on. Do you want me to order you another?” He asked and you nodded as you hopped down from the high stool.

“Please.” you confirmed as you came around. You were half expecting it when he pulled you in by the waist and nuzzled against your neck again.

“You were too far away.” He hummed as he nipped under your jaw for a second as his big, warm palm nearly caressed down your bottom and you smiled.

“Behave.” You reprimanded playfully and he pulled back to meet your eyes.

“I am.” He assured you and you smiled. “Now go.”

“That requires letting me go.”

“I know…” he said and released you with some reluctance. He watched as you walked off, hips swaying hypnotically as you headed off.

Yeah, you needed to use the bathroom but you also needed a break from the intensity of Harry’s gaze on you. It was intense before, but now that you knew he was also into you it felt overwhelming. This entire time he found a way to graze his fingertips against yours, to knock his foot into yours, to make you aware of the minimal space between the two of you as much as possible. As if you needed a reminder of how badly you wanted him in the first place. The more you drank the deeper his voice got and the more intense the tingles got when he spoke to you, you swore you felt the vibrations of his low drawn baritone at your core, rippling out to the rest of your body with each word. Lust didn’t begin to cover what you felt for him. Even as you sat there for a moment relieving yourself you could hear some other ladies in the bathroom talking about just how good he looked tonight and how demanding and intense his energy was. How it was practically impossible not to feel him in the space. When you opened up the stall door the girls talking about it froze and watched you for a second.

“You’re not wrong.” You said to them with a small smile and they looked relieved at how relaxed you were towards them. “Please don’t tell anyone that. I just needed to get it off my chest.” You chuckled bashfully as you washed your hands.

“No girl, your secret is safe with us.” One of them assured with a kind smile.

“You guys kissed in that movie a bunch of times, how are you still alive?” One of them asked and you chuckled.

“It was hard for sure…” you confirmed, “What was worse was how sweet he is…It makes it so hard not to take it to heart.” You explained and they hummed.

“You look so cute by the way. Could we get a picture?” One of them asked and you smiled.

“Ummm sure!” You giggled and they hurried over. The first pic was a failure, you all laughed at your half closed eyes, “Sorry, I’m so fucking tipsy!” You giggled and on the third try you managed to keep your eyes open wide enough to appear normal.

“I wish we could get one with Harry too.” One of the girls said.

“Well, if you guys leave at the same time as we do I can try and talk him into it.” You offered and they gushed and thanked you and assured you they’d keep an eye out for this.

They were so sweet to you, assuring you that you looked exquisite and giving you the confidence boost you really needed to flirt up a storm with Harry. He’d been so attentive and you’d been quite cool about it, but you were ready to reciprocate and show him just how much you wanted him too. When you made your way out of the bathroom it was with a new found confidence thanks to your bathroom besties. You were walking a little taller and with a little more sway as you headed back to your table.

As you made it back to your secluded little section you saw that Harry had settled into the stool beside yours. He was initially looking at the drinks menu but then he glanced up and right into your eyes, almost as if he sensed you coming. When your eyes met you just about melted. You finally understood that famous and hunger-inducing line form Bridgerton - “I burn for you.” You were feeling it in real time. The energy between you two, the longing of his gaze and how it followed the curves of your body, taking you in from head to toe. You loved how you could see his restraint as you approached your table once again. You felt scrutinized but in a good way. You felt desirable, you felt like the perfect and delicate thing you’d always wanted to be in someone’s gaze. He made you feel like you were worth all the effort and more and you loved that. You knew you could be a little intense and rough around the edges at times but he clearly liked that. He found it amusing and endearing. He loved having something to fight for. He enjoyed proving to you why he was worth your time and effort.

“What?” you asked as you reached your seat and he shook his head.

“You’re just so fucking beautiful.” He hummed lowly as you settled into your seat. You smiled and then glanced up to him.

“Yeah? You think so?”

“I know so, love. Convincing myself otherwise was absolute torture.” He confessed and you bit your lip to suppress your smile and all of the feelings you had for him boiling inside of you. He shook his head and glanced down at his hands timidly. “Don’t do that…”

“Why not?” You pressed and he looked at you again.

“I don’t think I can handle it all.” He explained with a pained look in his eyes and you hummed softly. “You already smell so divine that I want to be close in enough to breathe you in. But you biting on your lip like that makes me want to bite it for you and suck it between my own. I know you’d taste so sweet because you like chewing that bubble mint gum.” He said to you lowly and you nodded almost dumbly as your gazes remained locked on each others.

“What if we call it a night a little early?” You asked him quietly and he smiled.

“Yeah?” He asked and you nodded and shivered when one of his hands landed on your thigh, right over your knee.

“Text the driver.” You instructed and he nodded and pulled out his phone as you reached for your glass of wine. You chugged it down quickly as he texted the man, it was amusing to him how desperate you were to get out of there.

“D’you wanna stop for dumpli-”

“No.” You cut him off and he grinned before reaching for his own glass.

“I kind of don’t want to be anymore buzzed for you but-”

“It’ll feel nicer.” You said with a smile and he hummed.

“It would…” He agreed, his own smile ghosting along his lips.

“I’m still good though, are you?”

“Yeah, love.”

“Then, who cares?” You asked.

“You don’t mind?”

“Not at all.” You assured him.

“I want you so fucking bad. That’s what were talking about, right?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah.” You confirmed and he flashed you that charming, dimpled boyish grin that you’d missed so much.

“Okay. As long as you really don’t mind-”

“I don’t. I promise you. Just want to be alone with you.” You assured him and he hummed and finished his glass. “I ummm ran to some girls in the bathroom, they were so sweet to me, they were fans and I told them if they walked out behind us you could take a picture with them outside. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, love.” He assured and you smiled. Moments later the driver was informing you he was pulling up and you started to head out. The girls from the bathroom followed, as you instructed, and they got their photo before you guys slipped into the SUV smoothly and headed off into the night.

You were tingling with his hand running up and down your leg, his fingers danced along your skin. His nose was buried against your neck, kissing you up and down as he inhaled the sweet scent lingering on your skin and in your hair. He was whispering to you how much he missed you and how he wished he hadn’t wasted so much time in reaching out. His fingers were burning into your skin as he slid them up your thigh to a dangerous degree until you gripped around his wrist and smirked at him knowingly.

“What?” He whispered huskily, his eyes already dark and hazy with need.

“You know what…” you hummed lowly and he grinned.

“Sorry, I am trying to behave.” He assured you and then planted a kiss on your temple and lowered his hand to above your knee again. As much as you were asking him to stop, a part of you enjoyed how he pushed the limits a little bit. He clearly was dying to touch you and you were absolutely touch starved. Even just having him rubbing over your knee was causing your skin to rise with goosebumps. You couldn’t arrive at your place any sooner.

When you were finally heading up your driveway you were about ready to burst at the seems. You could feel how wet you were for him, it was even dripping down between your cheeks and you knew he’d love to discover that on his own so you kept it to yourself. Once you got out of the car and thanked the driver, he took off and you keyed your way into your home. As soon as the door closed behind you he pressed you up against it and locked eyes with you.

“This is where I need the do over.” He mumbled, lips tickling your own.

“Tell me more…” You whispered and he smiled and gabbed your jaw with his right hand while he grabbed your hip with his left and he leaned in and kissed you quickly, like he had that first time and his eyes met yours with a fake apologetic look in them, it was amusing really.

“Shit.” He whispered between you two; just like he had the first time, “That was a mistake.” He hummed as he looked into your eyes and you smiled as you decided to play along and role play it with him.

“Then why did you do it?” You asked and he bit his lip, nose skimming your nose with his again.

“I can’t help it. I like you. I like you so fucking much, Y/N.” He confessed softly.

“Then do it again. Like you mean it this time.” You requested. Before you knew it he grabbed your face and kissed your deeply. The hunger of it was making you weak in the knees. Your tongues tangled as you guided his hands down your waist, hips, and finally to the bottom of your skirt.

“Yeah? Can I?”

“Please.” You insisted and he slid them up under the fabric to feel your underwear-covered butt. He kneaded your cheeks in his big, warm palms, squeezing the fleshy bits fervently and feeling you up, pressing you up against his growing erection.

“I want you. I want you so fucking bad.” He breathed into your mouth.

“Me too.” You panted as you looped your arms around his neck, “Should we go up to my room?”

“Are you sure?” He asked once more through his ragged breaths. You kissed his slowly and nodded into it.

“I’m so fucking sure.” You confirmed breathlessly and he kissed you deeply again before you guided him up the stairs and into your bedroom. You threw the door back and you two immediately started undressing.

You didn’t care to make it all that romantic, especially with how tipsy you both were, you guys just wanted to feel each other. So as soon as you were naked you guys fell into your bed and he kissed from your lips down your body. He didn’t waste an opportunity to inhale your perfume before sinking down to your breasts and sucking at your needy nipples while his fingers rubbed precise little circles into your throbbing little clit with no preamble. You were grateful he got straight to it because you were desperate for any stimulation.

“You’re so fucking wet f’me, baby.” He hummed before nipping at your sensitive nipple once more and you whimpered, “Is that how bad you want me?” He asked.

“Yes! Yes, I want you so bad!” You whined as he pulled and sucked at your breasts with more force. You winced and whined as he sucked marks into the tender flesh of them to his satisfaction and your own. Before long you started to feel that familiar warmth swirling in the put of your stomach from his fingers on your clit. “Yeah H, just like that!” You cried into the air as he swirled around the sensitive little button over and over until your vision started to blur with your approaching orgasm.

His lips kissed down your abdomen and finally he ended up between your legs and licked at you expertly and you mewled in satisfaction. His tongue replaced his fingers and flicked at your needy little bud while one of his fingers plunged into the depths of you, searching around for your spot. When your legs startled to tremble around his head, attempting to lock him in place he knew you were close. And just seconds later he pulled an orgasm from you with ease and snuck in another finger in, this caused you to gasp and tense up before you just melted into your bed. He was just hitting the perfect spot with his fingertips, rubbing into a part of you that was making your pussy flutter in a way it never had before and you felt another orgasm unexpectedly building up.

“Yes! Yes, baby! I-I’m coming!” You gasped and he moaned into your pussy as he tarted to suck on your clit and you began to whither around his thick, lock digits. You were covered in goosebumps as the pleasure started to roll through your body in wonderfully timed waves that allowed you to enjoy his persistent stimulation into your greedy little cunt. Even this wasn’t enough. You were trembling but begging for more. “Please, I need you. I need more.” You panted in your impaired state.

“Don’t have a condom, love.” He chuckled against your smooth and sticky folds.

“Just pull out.” You panted as you raked your fingers into his hair and he groaned against you.

“Don’t tempt me, baby.” He chuckled and you bit your lip and tugged him up by the hair until his eyes met yours.

“I’m serious.” You assured him as you swallowed thickly, “Please baby, need you to fuck me. Need you to fuck me so good I forget everything except you.” You panted and he licked over his lips with a near pained expression.

“ Baby-”

“Please, H. Please, give it t’me. Want you so badly, it hurts, that’s how bad I need you.” You begged and he groaned as he caved to your request with a deep and sloppy kiss. You knew he was painfully hard as well. As much as you wanted a taste of him, you’d much rather feel his big, thick cock spreading you open and splitting you apart.

“Y’sure?” He panted as he hovered above you.

“I’m so sure, baby. So sure.” You assured him as he glanced up at you and before you knew it he was kneeling over you as you helped him out of his boxer-briefs, wrapping his thick length in your palm the moment it fell out of its constraint.

“Shit, a little tighter.” He mumbled and you tightened your grip around him and stroked him over and over, up and down, keeping him at full mast. “That’s it. Jus’like that.” He sighed in relief. You could feel the sticky texture of his precome when you’d reach the tip and drag it down his length. After a few moment of this he lowered his hips and settled against your hot and drenched folds, immediately the wet squelching sounds of him sliding through your labia became the most prominent sound between you two. “So fucking wet f’me. Shit, you want my cock so bad, don’t you?” He panted and you nodded and whined, “Say it. Say you want my cock in that pretty little pussy and I’ll fuck you with it. Stretch open that tight little hole, make it all mine.” He breathed into the minimal space between you two.

“Please, H.” You panted, “I need your cock. Need to feel you spreading my tight little hole open.” You pleaded, tearful eyes meeting his and he groaned and leaned down, squeezing his eyes shut as he kissed you for a few seconds before he guided himself down to your entrance and fed the tip into your weepy little hold. “Oh fuck!” You gasped softly as he started to push in and he moaned as he felt you start to stretch around him.

“You can take it. I know you can, baby.” He panted as his eyes met your wide eyes again. You nodded in confirmation for him to keep going and he pushed in further, splitting you open until your eyes just fluttered shut until he was bottoming out and sheathed fully in the warmth of your wet and velvety walls.

You swore his tip was poking into your stomach from how deep he was. You’d never felt so full before, you were paralyzed for a few moments. He was big and thick, you swore it wiped out part of your brain when he started to grind into you. The thick, ruddy tip of his cock was prodding into your g-spot, causing your mind to blank and for your body to shiver with an abundance of pleasure. You were getting more drunk on his dick and even the way he was grinning down at you as you let out the most obscene moans was feeding your pleasure.

“Shit, you take it so well…fuck, love to see that tight little hole stretching wide around my cock, baby. Y’feel so fucking good…so fucking tight and wet f’me.” He groaned as he thrusted in and out, watching your little hole puckering around his thick cock. He moaned every time he pulled back, watching your creamy arousal streaking down his shaft with each deep plunge into your needy little pussy. He moaned and spat against your folds before rubbing his thumb into your clit and you shuddered.

“Yes, baby! That’s it!” You mewled as you grabbed your breasts, pinching at your nipples, helping him draw you up the edge of your orgasm. Harry was panting, feeling his balls thwacking against your ass had his mind going fuzzy with excitement.

“Fuck…fuuuuck, you’re gonna make me come so fucking hard!” He chuckled breathily, head thrown back as he delivered sharp and powerful thrusts into you, over and over, living for the feeling of his tip colliding into the depths of you.

“Oh fuck…fuck! I’m…ohmygodI’mcoming!” You slurred and he smiled as you started to whither beautifully. Your back arched up, nipples pointed straight towards the ceiling as you trembled and soaked his cock with a soft squirt from how deep he was getting. Your ears were ringing and you were seeing white behind your closed eyelids but he wasn’t letting up until you got through the whole thing. You could hear him moaning and struggling to keep it together as he thrust in and out of you. Your walls pulsed around his cock hard and fast with your slick coated all over his thick length, causing him to lose some control over his movements. You were covered in goosebumps, shivering as you continued to come hard around him.

“Shit, baby! Shit!” He gasped as he started thrusting erratically, losing the steady rhythm he had maintained until now.

“Come for me, H. Come for me, baby.” You encouraged him and he pulled out quickly and you wrapped your hand around his length and he thrust into your perfectly tight grip a few times until his breath hitched and he groaned when you felt the first spurt of his hot, milky cum right over your pubic bone. He moaned lowly as he started to unload all over your already sticky pussy. You guided him between your swollen and sensitive folds, letting him thrust against you as he spilled all over your swollen pussy with his cum. His body was trembling as you rubbed at his bicep until he minimized the space between you and caught your lips with his. “Mmm…fuck…” he hummed and you smiled

“Good?”

“So fucking good.” He panted breathily and you pecked his lips quickly. “Was it good for you?” He asked and you nodded.

“Yeah, H. More than.” You assured and he smiled before kissing you again.

“Good, love.” He whispered before resting his weight on one elbow before kissing you deep and slow. He took his time tasting you properly and only pulled away when you both needed to breathe, “Jut as things should’ve been from the start.” He hummed and you kissed his lips quickly.

“We’re here now, yeah?” You asked quietly and he smiled and nodded.

“Yeah.” He hummed, “So, does this mean we can give us a real chance?” He asked as his fingers found yours and you nodded and smiled as he bought your hand up to his mouth and kissed it.

“I’d love that, Harry.” You assured him and he smiled brightly at you.

“Thank you for giving me another chance after the stunt I pulled before.” He said more seriously.

“I like you too much not to.” You said with a small smile and he smiled and kissed you once more.

“Well I assure you, there’s far more making up I plan on doing…” He smirked and you bit your lip excitedly, “Just you wait.”

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hanrinz · 11 months

Text

✩ ‧ ₊˚ TO LOVE AND TO HOLD — MICHAEL KAISER

wherein your boyfriend is terrible at pick-up lines, but it's okay he's cute anyway.

your boyfriend of four years, michael kaiser is terrible with a lot of things. namely, with his incapability of cooking meals, his terrible sense of time—if not for you maybe he won't even come to some grand events his team holds in time.

but this main habit of your boyfriend that just takes the prize, is him making awful pick-up lines.

may it be a line he saw from a rom-com movie or he's seen on the internet, he'll make it a mission to use it on you every single time.

what makes it worse, is that he doesn't even say it right.

your boyfriend is a lot of things, but using a good pick-up line is not one of them. your boyfriend is idiotically cute and sometimes a jerk.

it baffles your friends how you ended up with such a man like michael kaiser. maybe, it was his dumb jokes or his stupid face, you'll never know.

love is blind they said, maybe it's true for you.

on a cold afternoon, where you and kaiser are walking down on the road for a grocery run. the sun hides behind the clouds and the breeze blows through lightly.

scrolling through your phone as you check the list of the items you'll be buying. walking aimlessly as your boyfriend leads you, a hand placed on your lower back.

surprisingly he's quiet, looking at the buildings and the speck of white flakes that falls faintly on this day.

you continue to revel in the comfortable silence you were wrapped into, listing down some items you've been thinking on top of your head.

milk, strawberries, chocolates...

mind blanking from the things you need at your home, you turn to your lover. whose attention was taken by the surroundings, it's a rare sight to see.

your kaiser is quiet and deep in thought, an eerie scene in your honest opinion, but you don't point it out loud.

instead, you call out to him.

"what do you want for dinner?"

silence.

for someone who likes talking off his mind, your boyfriend didn't even hear you. well, that's something new.

you only call more.

"kaiser? hello? ...love?"

the same response was met.

you wonder what was weighing on your boyfriend's mind for him to drown out the world. it makes you think if he's ignoring you, but you didn't dwell on it for much any longer.

huffing as you try once more, with a louder voice.

"kaiser—"

your boyfriend's head turns all so suddenly to you, interjecting your words.

"—my hand is kinda heavy, can you hold it?"

your boyfriend is really terrible, you conclude.

a smile was plastered on his face, his stupidly charming smile was hanging on his lips. the kind of one that you're familiar with, the one where he finds another pick-up line to use.

he looks at you expectantly, gauging your reaction to what you think of it, you presume—his amazing lines.

and you try to stop the ever growing grin that makes its way to your face, but failing miserably.

only replying to his charms back.

"that's not how the line goes, but you're cute so fine."

a chuckle leaves your lips, making kaiser pout. compared to the pick-up lines he had uttered before, this was definitely better, but not the best.

but it's fine—it's okay because it was him, you think.

"hey, don't laugh! i tried my best okay?" he cried out.

another laugh leaves your mouth, that you tried to stifle—keyword: tried

you took his hands with yours, squeezing it three times in a way to comfort him, dragging him to the store that comes into view.

"okay, mr. i-tried-my-best, whatever you say." you teased, before letting yourself freely laugh at his antics, that only makes him pout more.

your boyfriend was really bad at this, but you don't mind. it's fine, because he's stupid and yours.

◞♡ likes & reblogs are highly appreciated ! okay,, first time writing for this man i hate him i swear :x based on this prompt btw !!

#roses ‘r rosie #read at your own risk #hana i'm looking at u #michael kaiser x reader #kaiser x reader #michael kaiser x you #michael kaiser #blue lock x reader #blue lock x you #bllk x you #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock fluff #kaiser fluff

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hanetea · 3 months

Text

Flowers in the winter

Summary: 6 months of the year I am technically married to Satoru Gojo; and the other 6 months, well... I still am married to him. Word count: 2.6k CWs: Teen!Gojo, he's a warning in itself..., Timid!reader, Reader!POV Canon compliant till I say so, rom-com, slow-burn, how slow? maybe like 3 chapters slow, fluff, angst, eventual smut, no beta, mildly edited This is part 2 (you can find part one here > part 1 )

“I’m sorry” I sniffled as I heard nothing but laughter for mistaking the other person at the end of the line for someone other than himself. But who could blame me!

“How can you, married for two years by the way, not even recognize the sound of my voice anymore? Was 2 years not enough for you?” his laughter finally dying down, and all I could do was to swallow how much this man was just enjoying my perfectly understandable reaction.

“But for us it barely was two years huh” he says sighing, finally able to breathe after laughing. I pinch my arm a little. I mean after all he was right, it was barely 2 years, hell it was probably only just 6 months of us together.

“Heh, why are you quiet? Cat got your tongue?” but it's moments like these that I wish it was less than 6 months.

“Sorry sorry, I’ll stop teasing” he chuckles as if reading my mind. I pout as I bring my knees closer to my chest. Since he called me he should be able to tell me where to go right? Maybe even pick me up at the train station… I could hear a hearty sigh on the other line. “ so, you're coming tomorrow?” He's going to at least give me an address as to where jujutsu high is right?

“Yes” I said, twirling my hair between my index and thumb. ‘Please tell me where to go-’

“Great! I’ll see you then-” “WAIT!”

There was a pause of silence between us. Me letting my nerves get the best of me, and unintentionally cutting him off mid sentence. Embarrassment creeps into my cheeks as I try to bury myself with a fistful of my hair, bringing it to the front of my face. I should’ve just asked through text or something.

‘Ahhhh I want to diee’

Gojo clears his throat, breaking the silence. “What’s wrong?” he says in a completely oblivious tone, which only made me more nervous on what to say.

I try to collect myself breathing slowly so that I can get my words across,

“Um, Gojo, so about Jujutsu tech…” I start but my mouth just shuts on its own,

“Gojo Satoru is not a kind man”

My mothers warning rings in my head, and my palms start getting sweaty by the second. ‘I should be more polite’ I thought, still trying to find the words to say but before I could add more he gives me a big ‘Ah!’ making me jump a little from the sudden noise.

“Yea! The admission wasn't that bad, though you know that the elders were being such a big pain about it.” he gave a loud sigh to exaggerate how much he hated it, which made me smile, this man does not like being bossed around.

“Yknow what's crazy tho?” his voice suddenly hushed as if trying to not let anybody hear “there's only 3 students in my class” which gains a small gasp from me “i-including you?” I whisper back. In the same hush tone that he was using, “Including me!” he responds back, I can't even begin to imagine a class of 10 people, how much more just 3? With yourself included? And the worst of it is that you’re classmates with Gojo….

‘I feel bad for them…’ A whole year with him… I can't even begin to imagine how that would be, without missing a beat Gojo fills my silence with little stories of his time at jujutsu high.

“The campus is HUGE! It's very traditional in terms of architecture but I think you already know that.” He continues to ramble, Gojo can really carry the conversation with just himself, and honestly it's comforting to know that he won't get mad if I stay quiet. However…

“Um, sorry Gojo but to be honest,” Gojo turns quiet in the other line, I swallow what timidness I had to get my words across, feeling that the man on the other side is also going to listen to me. “I’ve never been to jujutsu high, o-or know where it is” I finally put out. Gojo still stays silent in the other line which makes me hope he didn't take offense. “...you’ve never been there?” he says softly which makes me embarrassed

‘Was I supposed to know?’ I bite my lip

“M-my mom doesn't really tell me about jujutsu society…” with every word that escapes, the quieter it becomes. Growing up I’ve been told that women have no place in jujutsu society. And my mom reaffirms this belief by raising me as a normal girl as much as possible. Since a woman’s role is to be a wife to her husband, I was kept in the dark about anything that revolves around jujutsu.

‘I only know some things because it involves Gojo…’ but now I’m starting to think I should know a little bit more, just to keep up with his life… He is at the center of it after all…

“Is that so?” his voice rings clear, in a span of a few months, Gojo’s voice changed. I wonder what he looks like now? This is no longer the Gojo Satoru that I knew a year ago. Will he be disappointed that I, his wife, didn't change at all? Will I be tossed aside, the older we get?

“I can pick you up, which station are you going to?” I shook my head trying to rid of my thoughts that was occupying my head

“M-my ticket is for Asakusa station, but I can catch a train to whichever is more convenient for you-” he giggles at the other end, confusing me as I don't really know what he found funny “no that’s fine I'll pick you up there.” His voice is so gentle, it almost made my heart leap out of my chest. I can't let myself misunderstand, Gojo didn't mean anything about it.

“Thank you” I say, barely a whisper, twiddling my toes trying to warm them up “No worries.” he hummed in response. My shoulders relaxed, as I let go of the breath that I didn't know I was holding. Gojo, despite his obvious status, was very different from the other male authorities that I have the displeasure of knowing in Jujutsu society. He wasn't someone to hold his authority above you unless provoked. Even though we aren't the typical couple, where mutual feelings isn't the thing keeping us together, but societal pressure. I'm happy that we are different from a typical jujutsu marriage. It’s comfortable,

“Gojo Satoru is not a kind man”

But I'm okay that it's him that I have to be with.

“Goodnight (y/n), I’ll see you soon” he says one last time before hanging up.

I heave a heavy sigh, dropping my phone to the side, My other hand playing with my hair. I really ended up having a casual conversation with Gojo… ‘Gojo is so easy to talk to… I mustn't be swayed’ I thought. The more comfortable I am, the more I am able to make mistakes. I don't think he’ll be pleasant when that day arrives. I imagine a cross Gojo, but it seems like it's hard to picture what that looks like. I twiddle my toes more just trying to think. Instead, a picture of an more diabolical Gojo came to mind, ‘No, I think he will just endlessly tease me if I do… ahhhhh’ now scratching my scalp, hating the second option even more, I look back towards the picture frame that I previously dropped.

I don’t want the marriage of a jujutsu sorcerer. Constant avoidance, infested with malice, a bitter marriage that would’ve been better off separated. ‘I don't want that’ But if that was the fate that I was preordained to have…

I pulled the picture off the frame and folded it into my wallet. Giggling as I see his little pout still peaking through.

‘I mustn’t feel anything for Satoru Gojo’

I placed my wallet into my bag, I'm now fully packed, ready for my journey… my 6 month long journey, easing my heart in what lies ahead.

“We have arrived to, Asakusa station”

I inhale a lungful of air, waiting for the doors to open. As I'm immediately greeted to the warmth and bustling crowds of Tokyo.

I hold nothing but just one luggage in my hand, and a small backpack for more personal items to be easily accessed.

This is the station where I'm supposed to meet Gojo. If he were a normal man, I wouldn't exactly be as worried as I am right now, it's not exactly hard to spot a 6 foot something with unbashful white hair and a pair of intimidating stark black glasses but with the lack thereof and with his track record of tardiness to multiple events. It doesn't take rocket science to deduce that I may be waiting here for a bit.

I heave a heavy sigh, one that often is released during an intense exam season. Feeling an intense load of anxiety suddenly turning at the pit of my stomach.

‘I wanna go homee’ I sob inwardly walking around the area that's within reasonable reach from the waiting deck, so that I can be easily spotted just in case the unreliable clan leader decides to swing by and save me from the predicament that he himself caused.

I find an empty bench to occupy as I wait for the time being. I tug my sleeves a little as I start to feel a chill, what a perfect welcome to the winter season.

Ping!

I felt my phone vibrate as I open my phone I saw that I've received a message.

My eyes widen, it was a message from Gojo.

Gojo 10:15am

Sorry, the mission took surprisingly long, I'm 10 minutes away from the station did you just arrive?

I look at the message for a little bit, feeling relieved and a bit embarrassed that I assumed that he was just being leisure With his time when in fact, Gojo was a man who's always short on time with how busy he was.

But regardless he still found the time to help me when I'm in need.

You 10:16am

It’s okay, I've just arrived anyway. Take your time.

Was that too casual? Despite being similar in age I have a hard time talking to Gojo since I was taught to respond formally, but since Gojo hates tradition I was told by him explicitly to ‘ease up’

Ping!

I looked at the notification, it was a reply from Gojo

Gojo 10:17am

10 seconds

“Eh?” I accidentally said out loud, but before I could ask what he meant he sent another message

Gojo 10:17am

5 seconds

By now I think I was sweating bullets, what do these mean? And why are they so ominous?

I felt a single tap on my shoulder making me to jump in surprise, I turned around and was immediately greeted to a wide grin.

“ It's been a while ” he's still as big as ever, I scramble to my feet feeling my soul leave my body just to race back inside to regain control. Gojo, despite saying he’ll arrived in 10 minutes arrived in less than a minute, and yet not a single hair was out of place or a single sweat roll down his face. Effortlessly he looked pristine and perfect. While a single tap made me look like a rag doll ready to be washed.

“Did I scare you?” he chuckles as I feel my face with my hand to realize not only am I sweaty, my cheeks were also hot from the shock.

“I- I” stammering finding no words to say as my head was a jumbled mess. Standing in front of me was no Gojo I met from when I was 15

This was a different one, a leaner, taller and older Gojo, if his looks didn't kill me before It will kill me now.

“Wow! You haven't grown an inch!” he says while taking my luggage off my hand. While his eyes continue to inspect me. We stand with a fair distance away from each other but his domineering figure if it were to topple over would bury me whole “You look like you still sleep with a nightlight”

“I-I do not” I defend myself from the embarrassing accusation.

But I still do, every night.

‘ahh this man is too much’ I bring up my hands to fan my warm face, I can tolerate Gojos teasing but I get easily embarrassed and it shows on my face which I believe he has much delight in seeing by getting a rise out of me. I prepare myself for a wheeze or a chuckle from him, a sadistic reaction at least to come out but instead I felt a gentle cool touch my cheek. It was a hand, his hand.

“Gojo?” I was shocked at the sensation that the name just rolled out of my tongue.

I looked up to him and saw that he was staring down at me still wearing a smile. But it was different, my breath hitches on my throat. His glasses were still blocking his eyes, but compared to before, his smile was gentler, and his face had completely softened.

He continues to move his hand to cup my cheek, making me squeeze my eyes shut from the sheer cool of his palm. His cool hand was a stark contrast to my warm skin. Which contributed to the growing embarrassment rising with every touch.

“But you’ve changed…” he said, tracing my lashes with his thumb as I kept my eye shut. “Your eyelashes got longer…” his hand, never leaving my face caresses my cheek, leaving specks of cool on my skin everywhere he touches. He moves my head gently as if trying to observe every nook and cranny, Not really missing a single area, feeling like he wouldn't be satisfied till he saw everything. He slid his thumb down my nose bridge, outlining it. “Your nose is still the same” he gives a little giggle before sliding it down lower, his thumb now ghosting my lips, I puff a breath on it from the cool that it radiates but it doesn't move. Only keeping a distance, never truly touching me.

“You look good” he says softly, he moves his hand away to push some hair away from my face, and tucking it gently behind my ear before giving my earlobe a little pinch that made me flinch.

The reaction only making him giggle as he gives my nose a little poke with his finger before shifting the front of his body away from me, while I was left with the sight of his broad back. “let's hurry before we miss our train” he moves with long strides.

I stand there completely frozen, my brain not really understanding what just happened until it starts crashing down to me like a tidal wave. I covered my mouth before a scream exploded out of my body.

‘What was that? What was that?’ my brain was in a jumbled mess that my knees gave out and I'm left crouching on the ground.

My heart was doing somersaults with the way it's beating. Being awestruck by how much he changed was one thing, but being caressed was a whole different story!

“Pardon me~” I felt a strong arm slither around my waist. In an instant, my entire body was hoisted off the ground with much ease. Gojo stands there carrying me like a duffle bag. He looks down at my pitiful state but not really minding it.

“As much as I want to enjoy your reactions, we have 3 more trains and a bus to catch” the silver head beams a wide smile while announcing this, my eyes furrowed in confusion.

‘Why do we need to ride 3 more trains?’ He gives me a toothy grin as if reading my mind.

“How else are we going to reach Jujutsu high! It's all the way on the other side of Tokyo from Asakusa station.” His legs start moving as he carries me in the same awkward position.

“EXCUSE ME?!” Gojo only laughed in response.

#jjk #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #gojo satoru x reader #gojo x reader #jjk fandom #jjk x reader #satoru gojo x reader #haneblurbs

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solecize · 1 month

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fic preview: save the date | san x reader

from middle school walls to lecture halls, choi san was your ultimate nemesis that, for most of your life, fought to do everything better than you. even worse, there was no escape from him when your older sister and his older brother were childhood sweethearts, disgustingly in love. years later, the inevitable wedding bells had now come around the corner for them and as her maid of honour, you had one goal: making sure nobody fucked up the wedding. specifically, you were not going to let san, the best man, fuck up the big day.

unfortunately, when the ring goes missing less than twenty hour hours before the wedding, you have no choice but to work with the said best man who you drunkenly slept with days before the wedding - yes, the same one that you hated for over a decade - to track down a ten thousand dollar ring. starting from midnight, it's a race against the clock for you and san to go on the wildest chase of your life to, well, save the date.

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: san/female reader 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. non idol au, epic rom com, academic rivals, childhood enemies to lovers, fluff, slight angst 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. foul language, violence, blood, mention of drugs and drug use, general substance use (smoking and drinking), y/n and san get stranded in a foreign city together after embarking on adventure where they almost get scammed, jumped, etc., assigned seats on an airplane trope, unrequited pining, san gets a glo up after coming back from the military, more to be added 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. n/a 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. tbd.

being entrusted with the role of maid of honour meant a lot of things to different people, but it was different for you. you happily accepted the title for your sister’s wedding with one main goal in mind: making sure that no one fucks up the big day. specifically, making sure that choi san did not fuck up the big day.

unfortunately, with less than twenty-four hours before the wedding due to ring for your sister and san’s older brother, you realized that you were the one that fucked up.

if someone were to tell you that you ended up dodging a robbery, lugging around a broken e-scooter, outrunning a rabid wild animal, and losing your phone the night before your sister’s wedding, you would have asked them what drugs they were on. and given a year’s worth of stress in anticipating and planning and fittings, you’d likely even ask them to share some. the worse part was that, you’d actually fucked up forty-eight hours before your sister’s wedding and the night you were currently having was just the cherry on top.

but, that is where you found yourself in a foreign city with no money and no idea how to get back to your hotel at four in the morning. the only thing you could do was stare at choi san, still in his clothes from the rehearsal dinner earlier that night and was preoccupied with nursing his bruised knuckles.

san was not a smoker, but he leaned against the wall of a closed coffee shop with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. “you think this is all my fault, don’t you?” he grumbled, finally meeting your sharp gaze.

this was not even the beginning of the story, though. the real beginning of the story begins in middle school circa 2012, when your first ever crush ruined everything before anything could even happen by simply opening his mouth.

choi san was the transfer student that all of the girls in your year whispered and giggled about. you only caught a glimpse of him on the first day of school when you could barely make out his face at the school assembly.

“he’s so freaking cute! did you get to see him, y/n?”

your best friend at the time jogged up to you at lunch and by this point in the day, you’d heard from nearly all your classmates about the mysterious new kid. you were a bit exasperated, feeling as though you were missing out.

you shook your head. “no. i think i saw the side of his face, but that’s it.”

“look at his instagram,” she swooned, tapping on her phone until his profile came up.

you would never admit it aloud, but you thought your heart skip a beat. “that’s what he looks like? oh my god, he plays basketball, too?”

that pretty much sealed the deal for you. without shame, you pulled out your own phone to follow san on social media, since it already looked like he was gaining mutuals from other people in your school. everyday from then on seemed to be a game of “can you spot your crush” at school and you got the closest when you lingered a little bit too long after gym class, long enough that you left as soon as basketball try-outs for the boys team began.

it was 2012 and nothing else mattered to you except crushing over choi san from respectable distance, gangnam style, one direction, and reading all of the hunger games books. it was like this for the first couple months at school, until you and san finally encountered one another.

you heard from others that san was incredibly bright and academically gifted, so you were hoping that, he too, would join robotics club. it felt like a dream when your wishes came true and san walked into the first meeting of the season.

“you’re totally staring at him,” whispered yeosang on this day, to which you elbowed him for. yes, you were definitely staring, but he could have just chose to keep his mouth shut.

you’d avoided directly speaking to san for the first few meetings, just out of nerves alone. eventually, the club’s first major competition was to come around the corner and the club had to brainstorm their plan.

as one of the returning members from the year prior, you expected to be met with respect and have your opinions be considered important. the faculty supervisor had even told you that he had hopes for you taking over as captain in the next year, after the current leader, hongjoong, graduates.

“i can take charge of the programming team,” you offered, as hongjoong went over the challenge announcement of the competition.

that was the moment everything went wrong.

it looked there was no opposition, until you heard a chuckle from the other side of a room. you were confused, not recognizing the voice. spinning around, you saw that it was san and your heart dropped.

“you? do you even know how to code?” his eyebrows were raised.

your jaw could have easily hit the floor, as you narrowed your eyes at him. “what?” was all you could say.

“you’re a girl, there’s no way you should be in charge of programming.”

that year, there were only three girls in robotics club, which was an improvement from the two the year before. it was you, who was the only female member with experience in the club, and then sunyoung and yena.

sunyoung never fucking spoke, she never even made eye contact with anyone. she kept to herself and was never going to speak up, but you knew that she was the highest ranking student in your year and had skipped an entire grade. you couldn’t believe sunyoung let that slide. meanwhile, yena always insisted that she was “one of the boys” and was the kind of girl to talk your head off about how she hates taylor swift. you might’ve even heard her murmur in agreement to what san said.

“are you a fucking idiot?” your thirteen year old self snapped at san, eliciting gasps from around the room.

of course, your foul mouth came from none other than your headstrong older sister and at the same moment you began forming a life-long hatred for choi san, she was a couple blocks away at the high school, falling in love with choi san’s older brother during chemistry class. it was a classic high school love story, meeting as lab partners and experiencing first love in between shelves at the library.

one day, when your sister happily skipped into your room and sang that she now had a boyfriend, it had been weeks since you already declared san your nemesis. from what you remember, she was so head over heels for her lab partner that it was nauseating - she had to have been, since she was now marrying him over ten years later.

“he has a little brother your age, you know,” she said, later the same night. “goes to your school, maybe you’ve met him.”

the two of you were relaxing on your bed, as your sister scooted closer to show you pictures of her new and first-ever boyfriend on her phone. you raised an eyebrow at her, wondering who she was talking about.

“maybe. what’s his name?” you asked.

“san. choi san.”

#choi san x reader #choi san fanfic #choi san scenarios #choi san imagine #choi san x oc #choi san x you #ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez imagines #choi san fluff #choi san angst #ateez angst #ateez scenarios #kpop fanfic

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benedictscanvas · 1 year

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pick me up at seven - roy kent x reader

pairing: roy kent x fem!reader

word count: 3.1k (they won't all be this long i don't think!!)

warnings: language of course, and this is a little steamy but with no actual smut. my favourite genre HA

request: I can’t find any good Roy fics until your recent one and I’m dying for more 😭 Anyway you could write something else for him? Maybe they’re at a bar and he gets pissed when he sees Jamie flirting w her? (Not a pre established relationship) - @kashee-h

a/n: your wish is my demand!! i'm so happy you enjoyed the first roy fic of what i hope are many to come. this one totally got away from me, i loved writing it so so much, thanks for a request that I really got to make my own! <3

---

Roy is the one who’s invited you here. Roy is the one who trekked over to your office at the end of the working day and told you that everyone was going out that evening. Roy is the one who suggested you come, even when you seemed reluctant to join in on what appeared to be an evening for just the players and the coaches. Roy is the one who convinced you that it would be fun, that he’d make sure of it.

All of this is making it very hard for Roy to accept that you are currently sat in a corner booth with someone else. The fact that the person you seemed to be having such an in depth conversation with was Jamie fucking Tartt was the icing on a very shit cake.

He knew he could be having a better night than just sitting on a barstool trying not to watch the two of you, especially when Ted and Beard arrived to get the next round and he didn’t even acknowledge them. They’d hired out a private room, so it was filled with people he generally tolerated the company, some he’d even go as far as to say that he liked. None of that was registering, however.

Jamie leans in when you can’t hear something he’s said and he watches you nod solemnly, duck your head to stare at the floor as if flustered, and he wants to walk right out that door and never come back. Maybe he could get a job at Chelsea, or something.

“Now, what’s wrong, Jeremy Strong?” Ted asks, and Roy has to bite back a ‘fuck off’ so hard he wonders if his lip is bleeding, “You look just about ready to start wreckin’ the place.”

Out of the corner of Roy’s eye, he sees Beard lean in to whisper in Ted’s ear and points over at you. Ted looks surprised. Roy does not want to deal with this.

“You’re telling’ me our very own Mr Kent has his eyes on our very own Miss Y/L/N? Well, that’s just great! She’s sweet as anythin’, good for you, Roy.”

“She’s sweet on Jamie fucking Tartt, more like,” he says, even though he knows he’s being so fucking unfair. He hates it about himself. He knows how hard he’s worked on these feelings, on frustration and anger and jealousy, knows that a few years ago he’d be getting ready to fight Jamie down an alley further through tonight. Now he’s done that work, however, he can recognise the overriding feeling that he’s actually just hurt and that’s so much worse. It’s much easier to be jealous than upset.

“Does this call for an impromptu meeting of the Diamond Dogs?” Ted asks brightly and Roy is only able to stop him after his second howl. Higgins has looked over briefly but Beard signals him to stay where he is.

“Fuck no,” Roy blurts out, then reconsiders. Maybe he could at least talk to Ted, “I just- I was going to tell her. Tonight.”

“Tell her what?” Ted’s doing that thing where he bats his eyelashes like he’s in some sort of rom-com. Beard’s got his head resting in his hand, looking similarly up at Roy. They’re insufferable.

“That I fucking like her, okay? Take those fucking looks off your faces.”

Ted and Beard scramble to look normal but come up short. Ted’s got the awful kind of shit-eating grin on his face that he gets when he sees Sam and Jamie hugging or watches Isaac doing his handshakes with everyone before a game.

“So, you’ve been spending time together? Or are you telling her out of the blue?” Beard pipes up.

Roy thinks that over. You’ve been spending a lot of time together actually. More than anyone at the club would probably even believe. He slips away to your office to eat lunch under the guise of needing a break from the American Circus downstairs. You text him when you’ve brought in ice cream because you know he’ll never say no to ice cream. You’ve met Phoebe. That one was by accident in the park, but you stuck around for four fucking hours and nobody made you.

Still, he wonders whether it would be completely shocking to you or whether you’ve been waiting for him to make a proper move. You’re incredibly difficult to read alongside being so stupidly pretty that sometimes he wants to swear less around you. He doesn’t manage it, of course, but he thinks it.

“Yes, we’ve spent time together. No, I don’t know what that means. Probably doesn’t mean shit to her, not that it would be her fault if she doesn't.”

Ted and Beard tilt their heads simultaneously at him and he wishes he could bash their heads together for a moment.

“But it means somethin’ to you, hey coach? I don’t think Miss Y/N sittin’ with Jamie should stop you from tellin' her how you feel about ‘er, hey coach?”

Roy’s lost track of which coach Ted is even talking to, but Beard chimes in.

“Surely her spending time with Jamie should be all the more incentive to tell her. Find out how she feels. Get that crushing disappointment out of the way now. It’s only downhill from here.”

Roy raises a brow at him as Ted gives him a look. Beard sighs, then picks up his drink and seems to disappear. Ted leans into Roy.

“Him and Jane are on a break again, I’m sorry. Look I’m goin’ to have to go find him but he was right, until he wasn’t. Go get ‘er, Ross Gellar!”

And with that, Ted’s gone too, weaving his way through crowds of people until he’s lost to them. When Roy glances back in your direction, Jamie’s got Colin and Isaac beside him instead and you’re nowhere to be found. He sighs and stands from his barstool, making his way to the exit. Maybe he’d think about what Ted and Beard had said tomorrow: for now, he just wanted to go home.

Except for the fact that when he finally managed to push his way outside to breathe in some fresh air, he found you. Leaning against the wall of the club, with definite tears in your eyes, even under the dim street lamp light. He was going to murder Jamie Tartt, slowly, with rope and paint and suffering involved.

But he knew to take a slightly softer approach with you. If at all possible.

“Hey,” he says quietly, trying not to startle you. You're quick to look up at him, startled anyway, and he grits his teeth as he asks, “Are you alright?”

He doesn’t make any comment about what the fuck Jamie had done to you. Doesn’t think it would be received all that well. Again, he’s biting the inside of his lip harder than ever.

“Yes! Oh god, yes, sorry,” you’re blinking furiously. He admires your resolve when the nearly teary face is quickly replaced by that bright smile that makes him weaker in the knees than he already is, “Fuck, sorry. I’m all good. I’m not sure this is my scene, I was just going to call a taxi.”

There’s an opening. He’ll be damned if he’s not taking it, even though confessing anything is the furthest idea from his mind - he’s much more focused on making sure you’re okay and nobody’s done anything to hurt you. If they have, he's already resigned to a short stint in jail if necessary.

“Do you want to walk?”

“Uh, I mean not really. It’s quite late, so…”

“With me, I mean,” he quickly clarified, wanting to bash his head against the brick wall, “I could walk you home, if you wanted. Or not. That’s fine too.”

“Oh, right,” you’re looking down at your feet as you contemplate it, “That would be nice, if you’re sure. Thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he insists, falling into step beside you as you begin to walk. He wants to give you his jacket and maybe his shirt too with the way you’re shivering, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He’s a fucking coward, but he will get to the bottom of what’s the matter if its the last thing he does, “You gonna tell me what’s wrong now?”

You huff out a frustrated sigh, at him, at yourself, he isn’t sure.

“I made a fucking fool of myself tonight,” you say eventually, and he can’t even imagine you doing that, “I thought…god, it doesn’t matter what I thought. Everything just feels worse when its…1:30 in the morning, don’t you think?”

You’d lifted his hand to check his watch before you said the time. Again, he wanted to hold on, but he let you drop his hand and it just went limp.

“It fucking does, yeah. Don’t think you could make a fucking fool of yourself if you tried though. Not around us lot.”

Your family, he heard Ted’s voice in his head. He was not fucking saying that. To his surprise, you let out a loud bark of a laugh at his words and he was staring at the side of your face as you spoke out into the dark air.

“I thought you were coming to pick me up tonight, you know?” you began, and his heart drops to his shoes. You’re upset about him?

“What?”

“Something you said earlier, when you asked me to come. You asked where I lived, then told me it would be a twenty minute walk to get there. Then you said ‘see you at seven’.”

He could have stopped walking. He had said that, but he was just trying to help you plan out your timings for the evening - you’d mentioned to him once that you were known for having some time blindness when you were getting ready for things. Of course he should have realised how fucking stupid that was, how much that sounded like he would come and walk with you.

He would have fucking loved to walk with you.

“Fuck!” he exclaimed, far too loudly for the quiet night that surrounded you. You carried on undeterred, shaking your head. He could see your frustration was at yourself now, and he hated himself even more than he had earlier.

“My fault for assuming, I know. But that’s why I was so late. And when I arrived, trying talk myself into not feeling like a twat, you were already over with Dani and Isaac and Bumbercatch, clearly never intending to come pick me up. Which, why would you, of course. I just…felt shit. Jamie tried to help, bless him, but I just wanted to go home, honestly.”

Roy is the biggest idiot on the planet. He wants to go back into the club and hug Jamie for looking after you, then ask him to punch him in the face. Roy could punch something, anything right now, but he just grits his teeth.

“I’m-” he grunts when his voice comes out all strangled, “I’m really fucking sorry, Y/N. I’m the fucking twat. I was asking where you lived and that to help you with that fucking time blindness thing you told me about. Should’ve known how it sounded though. Fucking idiot.”

He directed the last comment at himself, kicking a stone he’d found on the pavement. He kept his eyes firmly trained on his shoes as the two of you continued walking, now at a significantly slower pace. Your eyes were burning a hole in the side of his face.

There was a silence that stretched on as you stared at him, until-

“Fucking hell,” you groaned, “That’s so fucking sweet. You’re the worst.”

He doesn’t know if he can remember being called sweet before. Phoebe was often excessively complimentary of him in a way that made him uncomfortable, but sweet had never come up. He didn’t feel sweet.

“I am the worst,” he grunted, spiralling, “Making you feel so shit. Ruining your fucking night. I was the one who convinced you in the first place and now you’ve had a shit fucking time and I’m the worst.”

He’s a little out of breath and loud again by the end of his rant. The two of you have stopped walking. You kick the toe of your heel against his shoe, placating.

“No, you’re the worst ‘cause you keep giving me all this hope. I fucking hate hope, no matter what Ted says,” you chuckle to yourself, and he’s not sure what you’re saying but he’s peering into your now smiling expression as he tries to work it out, “Look, do you like me or not? You’re a good guy Roy and either way, I’m grateful that you’re walking me home. I just think if I ask, maybe I can just feel like a twat for the night and get it over with by tomorrow.”

“Do I…like you?”

He sounds thick. He feels thick. Feels like his mouth is full of honey that his tongue is having to wade through to even speak to you. It’s stuck to the bottom of his mouth, heavy.

“Yeah. As in, do you just enjoy eating lunch with me or do you ever look at me and just want to kiss me? Cause I do that all the fucking time, Roy, but I can’t be arsed to dance around it anymore.”

You look really tired as you stare up at him, but he feels more energised than ever. You’ve both just established that he’s the absolute worst, and yet here he is, with everything he could’ve wanted right in front of him. You, looking fucking gorgeous and looking at him like that? Even getting a job at Chelsea wouldn’t help him against you - he was gone.

There’s a smirk on his face that he can’t bite back as he takes your face in both his hands and revels in the gasp he can pull from you. He should have known you’d be the first to say something. You weren’t the coward he was.

“Let’s not fuck about then, yeah?”

Low and breathy. You respond with a nod so eager that he’s practically grinning when he pulls you in. It’s quickly replaced by a hunger he’s been keeping at bay, allowing his hands to slide into your hair as he deepens the kiss almost as soon as it’s started. He can feel your hands clutching at the lapels on his jacket, but he’s more excited when you throw your arms around his neck instead, tugging on the hair at the base of his head.

He growls and you actually whimper. It’s like he’s been set on fucking fire. Like he’s been struck by lightning.

When he pulls away for air, you stay close, peppering kisses along the scruff of his jaw, up the side of his face and back down again. He holds you to him tightly around your waist and feels wanted. He’s wanted you for so long, but to be wanted in return, so openly, it’s both hot and meaningful. He’s not sure anyone’s ever told him they liked him before. Most models he’d dated were pretty sold on the idea that he had to make all the moves.

Still, when you begin trailing kisses down his neck and there’s a hand on the top button of his shirt, he has enough sense about him to stop you. Even if he really doesn’t want to.

“I don’t know what street this is,” he breathes out, low voice little more than a rumble, “But maybe we don't give your neighbours a fucking show.”

You look thoroughly kissed when you look back at him, but he doesn’t think it’ll ever be enough. He leans in to kiss you once more to punctuate his sentence, watching as you duck your head, all shy, even though your arms are still around him. He knows now that when you ducked your head with Jamie, you were embarrassed. This is you properly flustered and it’s one of his favourite looks on you.

“Good call, yeah. Okay. I’m- I’m just around this corner, I think.”

“You think?”

“Shut up, you,” you whack him lightly on the shoulder, as the two of you resume walking, “Think you can make it all the way there?”

“I’d carry you if my knee wasn’t fucked,” he admits, watching you with a lopsided smile, “Really fucking like you, by the way. If that wasn’t proof. Thought you should hear me fucking say it.”

You close your eyes in a little half laugh - giddy, he thinks.

“Well, I did wonder. We’ve spent a lot of time together the last few weeks for someone who doesn’t like spending time with people.”

“Your first clue,” he agrees, taking your hand with pride now as the two of you keep walking, turning the corner towards your house. The pace is a lot quicker than it was before. He hopes he knows why, “I’ll be less of a fucking idiot now. Promise.”

“Eh, don’t worry,” you shrug, letting go of his hand only to thread your arm through his and take hold of his hand again, even tighter, “Nothing sexier than fucking idiots. I like my men with no thoughts behind their eyes.”

He properly laughs at that, head tilted back, feeling your head against his arm as you laugh with him. You slow down, gesturing left. Your house. The two of you walk down the drive until you’re at the door, face to face again and Roy is having a small internal battle.

“Look, I know you said no show for the neighbours,” you begin, almost nervously, “But does that mean a…private show is totally off the table too?”

He watches you picking at your nails. Can’t help it. He pulls you in for another breathless kiss, just to watch you come alive again, confident and fucking into him, however much of a miracle it seems. You pull away this time, clearly keen for an answer, but he groans.

“Tryin’ to be a fucking gentleman, here. Why don’t we do dinner tomorrow? Proper date. And I’ll fucking pick you up.”

You giggle. Still, there’s a glint in your eyes, as you sigh melodramatically.

“That does sound nice. Only thing is, there could be an intruder in here, you know? So, and I’ll only ask once more and then I promise I’ll let you go if you say no, but maybe you should walk me to my bedroom? To make sure I’m safe, you know? And then you can pay for my breakfast in the morning like a good old fashioned gentleman, if you want.”

You’re looking up at him, all hopeful again. His resolve is dwindling. You spin your keys around one finger and its a simple gesture, but it’s the final straw.

“I’m paying for your fucking lunch too,” he growls, diving into you once again. He’s beside himself when he hears you mutter a faint ‘thank fuck’ as you fumble to unlock the door and all but drag him inside.

---

if you've read this far, i fucking love you, you beautiful sunflower <3 requests open for this angry man and his favourite jamie tartt if you're interested!!

#roy kent x reader #roy kent #ted lasso #ted lasso x reader #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent imagine #roy kent x you

1K notes · View notes

jinwoosungs · 4 months

Text

{ 117 }

shut up and dance with me.

tsukishima kei x fem.reader x oikawa tooru

college au

banner credit to @luneariaa ( and @madeimoisellesoleil for helping! )

dedicated to @svrakas for showing me the specific tiktok by @/5yaff that inspired this fic ♡

tsukishima kei was not a person who enjoyed going out to clubs-

yet the same couldn't be said about you, his girlfriend of 3 years.

he honestly felt so tired after coming home from a long day of classes. all he wanted to do was cuddle up next to you on your couch, put on some cheesy rom-com he knew would make you laugh and smile while indulging on your favorite takeout order.

yet the moment he entered your shared apartment and was greeted by your saccharine smile and melodious laughter, kei knew he was screwed.

because this- this was a telltale sign that you wanted something from him.

"alright spill, just what the hell do you want?"

you sputter a bit, appearing flustered while stomping your feet a bit (okay, he'll admit it, you were too fucking cute for your own good.)

"there's no need to be so rude, kei! i-i just thought, well... aren't you feeling a bit of cabin fever here? we haven't left our apartment in months."

kei scoffs while pushing up his glasses. "we've left the apartment plenty of times. or have you forgotten that we need groceries every month?"

"that's what i'm saying kei, i don't wanna leave our home just to do mundane things! i wanna go out to bars, i want to dance and just have a great time with my boyfriend!" as kei watches you go on and on about your supposed cabin fever, he notices how you kept pacing back and forth, sending him cute little pouty glances his way, your expression reminding him of a puppy desperate for attention.

"please can we go out and do something fun, kei, pleeeeaaase?"

he could feel the impending headache that was close to settling near his temple, yet something about disappointing you left a bad taste in his mouth.

with a sigh, he clenches his eyes shut while massaging the bridge of his nose. "alright fine, we can go out, but only for a few hours! when 11pm hits, we're out of there, got it?"

an excited squeal was heard coming from your parted lips, and kei relishes in the way you jump up against him, wrapping your arms around his neck to place a kiss against his lips before hurriedly bouncing away from him.

"i'll be out in 30 minutes, babe!"

he listens as you slam the door shut, running a hand through his blond hair while his golden irises narrow in annoyance, knowing he had to take some tylenol before heading out, just as a precaution to prevent any migraines from rearing its ugly head.

{ ... }

to say kei felt pissed the moment he stepped into the club would be a complete understatement.

he allows the heavy fumes to surround you and him, buying you one of your favorite drinks as he stands off to the side. his glare was obvious, and he kept you by his side throughout it all.

this was the worst idea ever, since kei did not feel like dancing. he refuses to remove himself from his spot on the wall, taking sips of his strawberry daiquiri that was way too sweet. from his periphery, he sees your jittery movements and asks what was wrong.

"uhm, well, this is my favorite song that's playing, and i'd really love it if you could dance with me, kei."

by now, the tylenol clearly was not working, for he could feel the pinpricks of a migraine beginning to break through, the dull pain coursing through him as he places the rest of the drink off to the side. your name comes out of his lips in an exasperated sigh. "if you want to dance, just dance by yourself. i have a headache and don't feel like doing anything."

kei refuses to allow your hurt expression to sway him, ignoring the painful lump in his throat at the sensation. he hated being the cause of your pain so much, even though he knows he can be a complete asshole at times.

he was about to say something, ready to change his mind and dance with you after all when the sight of someone with cinnamon brown hair and a wide grin stops him in his tracks.

"what's a pretty girl like you standing here all alone?" like a bucket filled with ice was just thrown at him, kei watches as your attention was stolen by that perfect stranger.

"oh, i-it's nothing. it's just, my favorite song is playing..."

"what?! then why are you waiting here?! let's go dance!"

not even looking back at him, kei watches as another man takes you in his arms and leads you to the dance floor, feeling the sharpest pain he had ever felt while watching you smiling and dancing with someone that wasn't him.

{ ... }

you decided to ignore kei the moment this handsome stranger whisks you away from him, giggling while having a great time dancing to your favorite song.

the man's rich laughter fills your ears, and you found your heart unexpectedly skipping its beats at the sound of it. "so... was that pissant your boyfriend?"

you roll your eyes while turning around to face him, still dancing with him while talking to him through the music, "yeah, he's an asshole, but... he's my asshole."

now that you could see him up close, you realized that this guy was utterly gorgeous. with gentle brown locks of hair cascading over his forehead and coffee brown eyes, you felt as though you could drown in his gaze. his full lips were upturned in a gentle smile when he suddenly leans in to whisper to you.

"don't look now, but i think your man is getting jealous."

"hmph, serves him right for not dancing with me."

you could feel the stranger's smile against the shell of your ear, "well, maybe this will get him to react like the way you want him to."

the fast-paced song suddenly turns into something slower and more intimate, making you gasp when your dance partner takes you in his arms while looking behind him. you couldn't tell what he was doing, but from the way he held up his hand while lifting up a finger aimed directly at your boyfriend, you could feel the heat rising up against your cheeks.

"you- why did you do that for?!"

the handsome stranger lets out another laugh before leaning down to whisper in your ear, "i can tell how much you love him, but just between you and me, if you ever want a real man in your life, come find me. my name's oikawa tooru..."

before you could even deny the need to ever find him, tsukishima was immediately standing in front of you, shoving oikawa away with his chest puffing out in response. "i think that's enough of you grinding on some other man's woman. know your place, asshole."

his voice was filled with venom as oikawa takes a step backwards, hands held up in feign defeat as amusement was seen shining in his chocolate brown gaze. "hey hey, no need to get so upset, i was just helping her have a good time, that's all."

"we're leaving."

unable to say anything else, you look back at oikawa and give him an apologetic expression, only to be met with his wide smile as he mouths something at you.

take care and be happy.

{ ... }

"yo, jackass, your blind date just saw that stunt that you pulled and left the bar."

oikawa was forced to look away from the retreating couple, meeting his best friend's angry gaze with a sheepish expression on his face. "ah, damn iwa, did izumi leave after all?"

"that's what i just told you." iwaizumi's scowl was enough to make oikawa laugh as he walks away from the dance floor and back to his table. "was this why you invited me? so i could keep the girls you reject company while you fuck around?"

"ah come on, don't be that harsh iwa-chan! because when you put it that way, it makes me sound like a bastard."

"that's because you are a bastard." iwaizumi lets out a huff while downing the rest of his drink. "that tall blond looked like he was ready to kick your ass."

"heh, i highly doubt that." oikawa takes his glass and takes a swig out of it. "i was just playing cupid, you know? his girl was way too cute for a tightass like him, so i just did something to make him take action."

oikawa has to bite back his laughter, making a tremendous effort to keep it from bubbling out of him. "you? playing cupid? don't make me sick, assikawa."

"alright alright, i'll shut up." he sighs while leaning back on his seat, thinking back to that super cute girl with that beanpole boyfriend. "she was really cute though, so i'm hopeful that she'll take me up on my offer..."

{ ... }

"kei, s-stop, you're going too fast- k-kei, you're hurting me!"

with a gasp, kei finally stops walking, looking behind him to see you holding back your tears. he looks down and finally realizes that he has been holding your hand in a vicegrip while dragging you along, further fueling his guilt.

letting you go, he turns away from you while letting out a string of curses.

"i know you want to do it, so just fucking do it." kei was glaring at you, and he knew that he was just jealous and upset, but he couldn't stop himself.

"d-do what, kei?"

he takes your hand and leads you towards an alleyway, somewhere private and away from any prying eyes. "i know you want to break up with me and go back into that bastard's arms, that's what you want, right? a fun and energetic guy that shares all of your interests and will dance with you on a whim?"

"if that's what you want, then go, go and just-" before kei could continue with his rant, he was suddenly stopped by you. he sees the way you stand on the tip of your toes, placing your hand against his jawline before kissing him. you perfectly place your lips against his in a gentle kiss, and he, being too enamored with how sweet you tasted, basks in it.

the moment your lips met with his, he forgot all about the anger and annoyance he felt. the jealousy was whisked away, forgotten like a puff of smoke escaping into the cold night air. not wanting to let you go, kei wraps his arms around you, allowing his fingertips to play with the soft strands of your hair.

he could feel his heart pounding from out of his chest when you pull away from the kiss first. your eyes were filled with adoration and kindness, and he felt like such a bastard all over again upon realizing that you still loved him, even now.

with a grunt of your name, kei wraps his arms around you, burying his face within your hair while murmuring an apology.

"'m sorry."

"i'm sorry, too." was your reply. you silently beckon him to face you, framing his handsome face with your two hands.

"i know you were probably tired from your classes and wanted to just stay in. i'm sorry for making you go out when you probably felt tired. how about we order some ramen and we can stop by that bakery and get you the strawberry shortcake that you love so much?"

kei was absolutely astounded by how sweet you were, making him give you a tiny frown, "you're not mad at me?"

"of course not, silly."

"you don't want to leave me?"

"nope!"

"even when i'm a bastard?"

"you're my bastard."

"and you still love me?"

"i'll always love you!" you answer him with the widest and most beautiful smile that kei felt his heart ache and turn soft in response.

he remains silent, simply embracing you once more while pressing a kiss against your hair.

"next time we go out, i promise i'll shut up and dance with you when you ask."

and truly, you wouldn't want him any other way ♡

a.n. - it's been so long since i've written anything for my haikyuu!! boys; this is currently unedited, but i hope you readers enjoy this story! 🥹

all stories are written by rei; reposts, translations, and plagiarism are not allowed.

#tsukishima kei x reader #tsukishima kei x you #oikawa tooru x reader #oikawa tooru x you #oikawa x reader #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei fluff #tsukishima kei angst #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu angst #.stories

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macaroonff · 2 months

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This Autumn, - Shin Ryujin

Genre: Roommates x lovers, College +Domestic Au, Autumn feels Pairing: Shin Ryujin x fem! Reader ↪Content warnings: Mentions of a dysfunctional families, slight angst, mentions of homophobia, mention of insecurities Word Count: 7k+ words Suggested Songs: We found Love in October- Girl In Red I wanna be your girlfriend- Girl in Red Bubble gum- Clairo Duvet- Bôa October Passed Me By- Girl in Red Girls-Girl in Red Softly- Clairo You know where this playlist is heading- feel free to recommend more ↪not proofread

Sometimes fall meant that the clarity of summer had ended, and that the dryness wasn't accompanied by sweat, but by the heaviness of hoodies and the bareness of barks. A bore compared to the freedom and excitement that summer offered; a dispirited time when you look back to the last three months.

Of course autumn wasn't all bad. The colours took on a warmer palette as the trees bore themselves devoid of its warmth: warmth which could be found in campfires and cosy sheets; in people's hugs and weighted blankets; in hot lattes, crunchy leaves and early sunsets.

But when assignments piled up from the start of the season, finding opportunities to revel in such warmth seemed unsuccessful. You hurriedly tried composing yourself from last month's activities: internships, staycations and pool parties, returning from a whirlwind of adrenaline. It was exhausting, and you were burnt out before the semester even started.

But a student you were; a decent one you tried to be, as you file your assignments, albeit slowly due to sleep deprivation. The first week of autumn went by with professors dumping assignments immediately as you try to ease the pace at which you deal with it. Clearly, autumn had you drained from day one.

Autumn hated you more than you hated it.

Autumn, two weeks in wasn't too bad. You took time to catch up on deadlines, you made plans with friends, went on walks and you got especially close to your new roommate. Her name was Ryujin, a dark haired divinity with prominent features that meshed gently. Someone who never forgot to get you your daily dose of iced latte and her favourite mocha bread from the café opposite your dorm.

It started when she came back from her evening lectures on a Thursday, holding one mug in her hand, a woolly scarf tucked into her shirt. She came in to see you with hands knitted in your hair, frustrated at the work you had, feet bobbing in concentration.

A small 'hi' was all that you returned when you noticed her presence.

"Another stressful assignment?," she asks, concerned. Her low timbre is soothing and takes you out of your sums for a brief moment, a sigh escaping your chapped lips.

"It’s calculus." You make eye contact for the first time since she entered, a polite smile greeting her, though the frown almost tilted the other way.

She waved her hands in a light motion acknowledging your concern, the room key in her palm dangling in it to make a soft clack.

"Understandable, it's a real headache, especially since you're in Mr Lee’s course. Anything I could help you with?"

"I just need a break," you reply dejectedly, hoping to get away from your monotonous, monstrous tasks.

"Wanna watch a movie?" she asks, a soft grin hiding on her face. She watches your ears perk up and your eyes shine at the suggestion, to which a chuckle remains stuck in her throat.

"Why don't you choose something and I'll join you after I'm done freshening up." she hands you the remote before walking into her room, grabbing her white towel from the laundry rack.

You sit in silence and wallow in contemplation. Choosing a movie, should be easy.

Would a sappy rom-com distracting you from your lamentable, gapingly non-existent love life suffice? Or did you need another of those poorly directed and filmed action ones, which would, undoubtedly help you fix your sleep schedule. But then again, would Ryujin watch it? What’s a movie she’d like? Slice of life? Coming of age? Horror?

A change in the lighting of the room, and Ryujin’s tap on your shoulder was what eventually brought you out of your dilemma, and you take your vacant stare off of the blank tv screen towards your roommate instead.

The warm lights had blurred everything in the background in a way that it brought Ryujin’s face into focus, a soft glow emanating from her cheeks. Her hair was wet, the towel lazily wrapped around her supple hair, doing a measly job at keeping it from seeping into her t-shirt. Her oversized black t-shirt had patches of darker spots that clinged to her because of it, making you worried she might catch a cold. You rush to hand her a new towel, one that would actually help.

“Don’t catch a cold, not the best time of the year to fall sick.” you whisper.

She smiles in appreciation and holds your arm, accepting the fabric for you. "You're cold too y/n. It'd probably be best for us to grab some blankets."

After ten minutes of rummaging through your creaky cabinets and five minutes of popping corn, you were ready to distance yourself from your headaches, with new-found warmth in your newly washed duvets.

Snug and pressed against the cushions of the sofa, with your head on her shoulder. Snug as she pats your back until the television's whisper no longer has your attention and you find your heavy eyelids closing on their own.

Snug as you embrace sleep after months of running away from it.

Snug, however, wasn't what you felt when you woke up in the morning, blankets tangled between your legs, and an annoying ache in your ribs, due to the crushing weight of your favourite cushion.

Snugness was replaced by the bitterness of another new day, and your long forgotten assignments weighed heavier than they did before.

All of a sudden last night's peace was something you regretted. And you regret having been swayed by someone you considered an acquaintance.

If Shin Ryujin hadn’t offered, you'd never have taken a break. You'd never have given yourself the opportunity to be wasteful with time. You shouldn't have been tempted by the thought of a moment's freedom.

Freedom that remained a mirage. A mirage that showed you a time of comfort. Comfort that would last one evening until you'd have to revisit everything you ran away from.

What's the point in having comfort if it's given by someone you interact with for three hours a day? What was the point in comfort if it was momentary?

Shin Ryujin was a roommate you'd have for only two more months until her grandparent's apartment was done with renovations.

Shin Ryujin was temporary.

Autumn three weeks in, was no different. Except that your backlog had increased, your sleep schedule got worse and all that you cared about was getting over with your to-do lists. How you had energy to do everything one by one remained a mystery, but you soon realised that it wasn’t energy that drove you to finish work, but the fear of running out of it sooner or later. As if it wasn’t already obvious, you were on the brink of burnout.

Not that you hated burnout. For some reason being burnt out meant that you'd be forced to take time out for mental health sooner or later. You would be forced to slow down like you did last week.

Sitting down and finally looking back, last week felt like a distant memory so far away from your reality. It was a privilege you gave yourself, and it was so worth it, contrary to what you felt immediately. She was right, the movie did help, the movie did get you back into a safe space from your anxiety; and you never cared to thank her for it.

You’d do it today. Thanking her. You absolutely had to.

You spent the next ninety minutes planning the best way to return the favour. Essentially, you spent the next ninety minutes going back on all the little things Ryujin did for you. Which led to the realisation that her love language was a careful amalgamation of acts of service, quality time and physical touch.

“Maybe I’ll just bake mocha bread. I couldn’t go wrong with that,” you contemplate. You weren’t the best baker on earth, however you had enough experience to go ahead with it.

All you needed was milk, eggs, flour, yeast, sugar and coffee. Everything you had at home, really not much could go wrong.

Until it did. There was no way the universe would let you have anything good before your semester tests. Of course it had to sabotage you when you tried to do one thing with actual love behind it.

The microwave oven she brought in with her beeped once before a loud pop stopped you in your tracks. It was overheated, and nothing you did brought the irksome device back to life. No matter how many buttons you pushed vigorously, or hit the back of it tiresomely, the empty black box on the door showed no sign of the tiny numbers signalling time left.

Time left. You look at the Ikea clock hung on the wall. Ten minutes more for the bread to be baked until completion, and thirty minutes until she’d come back and discover this mess and the damage to her microwave.

And boy does she love that microwave.

Shin Ryujin knew something was wrong when she entered later at night, almost too late for you to be up right now, just a little before midnight, the smell of sweet coffee greeting her. She’d gone to visit the apartment her grandparents had bought for her, a half hour from here. She was so caught up in finalising the layout that she forgot to mention that she’d be late home. What’s worse was that she had got caught in heavy traffic, and her phone lost charge in the middle of dialling you.

And when she got up here, completely spent from the work, it took very little for her to be consumed by frustration. Not particularly because of you. None of it had to do with you. She knew that the tedious microwave was ancient and that her parents only gave it to her to get rid of it. She also knew that she should’ve told you about it sooner, before it actually became a problem. So no, in no way was this your fault.

She looked at your head buried under your arm on the dining table with a mitten on one hand and a post-it under your elbow. The post-it didn’t say much, just scribbled and crossed out words that all seemed to resemble different “I’m sorrys" and “microwaves". You had multiple other post-its crumpled nearby and she picked all of them up and carefully opened them one by one. Between the creases, one said, “I’m so sorry for the microwave Ryujin, ik you treasure it because your parents lent it to you. I just wanted to thank you for last week and I thought I’d bake your favourite but -” it stopped there at which point you must’ve crumpled it.

Ryujin let her sight wander across the baking utensils washed and stacked neatly on the drying rack and a box of half baked, burnt dough nearby. She smiles, both grateful and apologetic, an urge to caress your head settling in. She takes a closer look at you, trying to figure how she could deposit you to your bed.

She slowly lifts your head up, wiping excess dough from near your frowning mouth, and her eyes wander up, to your slightly fluttering eyelids facing the yellow lights. It was then under the warm lights that she noticed semi-dried tears under your lashes. Another surge of guilt ran through her, thinking of how worried you must’ve been.

In the cold kitchen, she lifts you off the chair as carefully as she can and gently drags you across the living room. It was when she’d propped you against the headboard that you stir awake.

Through half-lidded eyes, you take in whatever you can. Ryujin was holding on to your hand gasping slightly.

“Ryujin?” you whisper.

“Shit I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she looks at you a little surprised.

“I’m so sorry-” you mumble in desperation.

“Shh," she places a palm over your eyes, "don’t worry about it love. Go to bed, we’ll talk in the morning”

You aren’t convinced but you also realise that now isn’t the best time to talk. Ryujin’s eyebags seemed deeper in the warm light and you knew both of you needed a decent rest. It had been a hectic time for the two of you, and all you needed was sleep.

Ryujin still had the benevolence to pull the blanket over you and stroke your hair until you fell asleep.

It was the second time you fell asleep in her arms.

The following weekend you were on a shopping trip.

At a semi-large Ikea warehouse about forty minutes away from the campus. It was Ryujin's idea to come out here despite you convincing her to find a shop closer, but she insisted.

"Trust me, it'll be fun. We can look at furniture too."

Of course, she needed new furniture. It slowly dawns on you that you have very little time to spend with her in your home. Home.

You don't remember the last time you called your dorm a home. For all that you knew, it was a messy damp space that you couldn't wait to escape from, an absolute nightmare with it's cramped furniture. But it was cosy, something you couldn't deny now.

Maybe because you were with her. All her little habits that grew on you, her impeccable daily routine that had become a source of stability in your life, even her lesser known quirks such as keeping a picture of her two cats at home framed on her desk and kissing the before going to her classes in the morning.

You admired all of it, and it wouldn't have been the same if it were someone else. You never felt like this with your previous room mates. They were just people who lived in their own solitary spaces. But with Ryujin, somehow you were involved in most housework together. You felt involved, and somewhere more loved than in your own home.

Your family wasn't bad, at least on the surface. They never compromised when it came to your education or your standard of living. But somewhere between those lines were impossible expectations they wouldn't hold themselves to either. And you got tired of them easily. They hid toxicity behind "criticism", where criticism only meant negatives beyond your control. Your last year of high school, particularly faced extreme criticism, and you felt your confidence dipping. You managed though. You're not entirely sure how you coped, but with support from school, you managed a scholarship, a meagre one but still enough to get away from your family.

You hadn't seen them in three years.

Ryujin, on the other hand, had a lovely family, and you were, at times jealous of how perfect she seemed; how perfect everything around her seemed.

She seemed to have every aspect of her life in order. Whether it be top of the class majoring in Business, or being captain of the girl's football team, or the fact that she could spare three hours to stay with her paint brushes and that they would come out having the entire beauty of the universe encompassed in them. She could manage being both a homebody, while still being popular in school, she could be assertive when she needed to be without actually disturbing the fragile ego of most in her class.

She surpassed every definition of balance mentioned in the dictionary. She was living it, breathing it. Stability.

You admired her, a lot, but you couldn't stop this ridiculously miniscule base of malevolence in your heart. And every day you were scared it would become worse.

Especially now, when all she wanted was to spend precious time with you, constantly putting effort into your friendship whereas you were held back by bitter thoughts. And you hated yourself for it.

You force back your envy, distracting yourself by browsing through the shelves of cutlery displayed. You notice the absence of Ryujin's presence, and slowly find yourself lost in this maze of a shop. Maybe it was better that she wasn't in this aisle now, or else you wouldn't be able to face her with the guilt of having thought of her so poorly.

You find yourself interested in the array of pretty pink melamine plates stacked in front of you, in the stainless steel spoons with animal handles, and little napkin holders shaped like boats. You pick up different pans, weighing how heavy each is, looking to keep your brain unnecessarily busy. If you spend a second more comparing yourself with Ryujin, you knew you wouldn't be able to think of anything else for the entire day, or week.

You remember what your therapist told you, all the comfort and validation that you needed pouring in through words. You open up your notes, all the affirmations typed out one by one. You repeat them in your mind, with a new goal in sight.

You wouldn't let your insecurity ruin another good relationship. Especially not with Ryujin.

She emerges after some time, holding in her hand, a grey device, and a grin painted on her face. "I think this is the one. It's a cool toaster cum oven sort of thing, and it's cheap," she winks at you.

How was she so decisive? you think again. It had only taken her fifteen minutes. If it were you, you'd have taken forty minutes more.

"I trust your decision," you reply, giving her a soft smile. You notice her eyebrows raise a little. "You sure?," she asks. "You usually don't agree this fast. You have this terrible habit of sitting on decisions for ages." she rambles on.

You take a moment to process this. You knew it was true, and she probably didn't mean malice, but it was not something you'd accept easily.

Ryujin never had to think twice about what she wanted. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she always got it. Whereas every decision you seemed to make bore consequences you didn't want. And often, the times you didn't heavily weight them out was when things backfired. The last time being with the microwave oven.

It was the only way you knew to trust yourself.

So it irks you greatly when Ryujin calls it a "terrible habit". Because for you, it was a habit that gave you security. Certainty wasn't achievable, but you'd try as fucking close as you could get, and Shin Ryujin won't tell you otherwise.

She'd never understand how imperfect you were. She'd never understand the little complexities that hold you back. For the most part, she had life easy. What would she ever understand?

You ignore her comment, instead picking up a ceramic mug from the shelf, thumbing on the floral patterns glazed onto it.

Ryujin barely senses your predicament, instead grabbing onto the mug placed besides the one you hold onto. "These are pretty, it's like a cute matching set. We should get them," she winks.

The rest of the day follows with more furniture in your cart, and mostly unnecessary plushies plaguing your living room. New pillows, potted plants, wardrobe organisers, a work desk and the biggest Djungelskog bear lying near the couch.

It dawns on you the next morning, after waking up to the chaos, that she was shifting out in two weeks.

On the first of October.

All of a sudden she was busy, very busy, and the two of you barely met, with bigger gaps in your schedule. Part of it was because of Ryujin arranging her main furniture in her new house, and part of it was because you were busy with academics, only that it was voluntary this time. It just so happened that you needed a few more credits to retain your scholarship, the only thing weighing your new found freedom. Along with that, you busied yourself so that you didn't have to face Ryujin later at night.

You were scared. Other than the obvious rent that you'd have to pay by yourself, you also avoided other parts of this change that bothered you. Which was spending time with her. You were scared you'd miss her a bit too much.

Sure, you were friends who were only half an hour away, but now that her colourful room started fading into a bleak white, the emptiness of it reminded you of why you hated autumn. The fall orange left you feeling lonely, and like the very leaves that craved pigmentation, you craved more life. Regardless of the minimal time you spent with her in the evenings, she slowly integrated herself into your life in the smaller ways.

Now they weigh too much in your life for you to be able to cope without it. You ended up distancing yourself from her, in a pathetic attempt to cope with the anticipation of absence. Maybe you just needed more friends, the thought crossing your mind a lot more these days. But you had plenty of them at uni, most of who you loved. But none of them were Ryujin.

None of them cared for you as much as she did. None of them taught you how to care for yourself like she did. None of them held you in their arms throughout the night, until you felt rested and loved. Nobody inspired you as much as Ryujin did.

Maybe Ryujin wasn't just a friend, something you were scared to consider in the past few weeks. It was a feeling completely new. Other than a failed situation-ship in high school, you never considered the possibility of a relationship, much less exploring your sexuality.

It was an intimidating prospect that you hadn't considered. Something that initiated urgency more than curiosity. Unlike the diverse spectrum that your feelings for Shin Ryujin belonged to, your thoughts focused on just one. She was important in more ways than platonic, and the distance that was to be would be extremely difficult to cope with. The distance that you had created seemed silly, but at the same time there was nothing you could think to resolve the conflict. You were going against this wall you'd built for yourself, and the facade of distance only grew day by day. So much so that at one point, Ryujin stopped approaching you first.

In a way, you deserved it. For someone who had been so unreceptive to her life as a coping method, this is the least you deserved for being a little jerk. Why would someone pursue any relationship, even platonic if you'd put yourself back into the mega cage you thought you'd escaped from. Something you'd escaped from only temporarily in her presence. Something you're going back to by the next week when she's gone.

You suffer multiple sleepless nights, the mid terms only a catalyst to your loneliness, when all you remember is Ryujin and her quirks.

You do accept another roommate later on, a mutual contact in your friend group, someone who was introduced to you by Ryujin herself. She'd dropped in a small text at 8 in the morning, on the way to class, you'd assumed. All it did was talk about how a common friend, Yeji needed a room to stay.

You accepted it of course, because you didn't have to foot the entire month's bill but also because you thought having someone else would curb your loneliness. And this loneliness was stupid. Ryujin wasn't the only thing you had in your entire life, and she should've been inconsequential, the same way the daylight hours gradually decreased. But it isn't too hard to notice once the sun's gone down.

The new roommate was like a transition from summer to winter, but unlike Ryujin , who helped ease the transition between the seasons, this one only reminded you that it would be cold. She wasn't a bad roommate, no she was perfect, did the laundry on Wednesdays, did the evening dishes at 6 and gave you lots of personal space. She was nice, but not like Ryujin.

You hated how you compared her to Ryujin, how you compared everything to her. "She isn't your entire world," you remind yourself. "Shin Ryujin was only temporary."

You'd decided that your feelings for her were only a means for you to be validated. That was all you'd craved from her, and that was all she'd given you- validation.

On October 15th, you feel relieved. Your mid terms were over with and you had a little bit of free time. Were you going to spend it wisely? Of course not.

You were going to sit in bed all day, scrolling through Youtube, a luxury you'd afford yourself rarely in the last month. You went home early, to a somewhat excitable Yeji. Another rare sight.

"What's up?" you ask her, noticing her vibrant demeanour.

"Nothing much, Ryujin's coming over today."

You're surprised to hear this, and a little disappointed that Ryujin never told you herself. Or maybe there was no reason to, it's not like you kept in touch with her.

"That's cool, are you guys ordering something? Or should I make food for you two?" you offer, realising the amount of free time you had.

"We'll just order pizza," she replies. She hesitates for sometime, as if she has something to say. "Y/n?" she calls out slowly.

"Hmm?" "...you're nothing like what Ryujin described you as."

You still in your spot.

"It's just that you're really kind you know. I thought you'd be more distant, and cold."

"Ryujin said that? About me?"

She nods her head.

Is that really how she saw you? Distant and cold? Sure you were closed off towards the end, but is that really who you were to her? After all the good memories? You weren't sure anymore, insecurity creeping inside you.

It hurt. Was it this easy for people to be unforgiving? But then again, you never apologised, so in a weird way what Yeji relayed sounded justified.

You offer her a stiff smile.

"I'll be in my room then, tell me if you need anything."

Dejected, you go back to your blank room, where even the orange of autumn feels comforting, something you hated previously. You stay inside the entire evening, occasional sounds of muffled laughter behind your walls being all that you focus on for the duration. Every time you heard her laugh loudly from behind the door, you wondered if she ever laughed like that in front of you. Did you ever make her feel happy? The same way she did to you?

You want to go out and say hi, but after what Yeji said, you stop yourself. She must hate you now, there was no other way.

It isn't later at night, after you're sure the laughter was no more, and only when the silence of the room becomes comforting, you step out to see a dim blue light in the darkness of the living room, Yeji working on the dining table. "Y/n, didn't come out to say hi to Ryujin?" she asks, with pity that sounds forced.

"Yeah, no I was just napping," you lie, "did anything fun happen?"

"Mhm, we were discussing Ryujin's blind date tomorrow with a senior from the engineering department. Apparently, he's handsome," she shrugs her shoulder.

"Ryujin likes boys?" you ask without realising.

"Hmm, I'm not sure actually."

A small part of you feels dejected as you get a glass of water, all while contemplating if you should have reached out.

"You like her don't you?" Yeji whispers, looking up from her laptop.

It's the second time you still in your spot. Yeji had brought up something you never thought was prominent.

"Your lights were on, I could tell from your slightly ajar door. You weren't sleeping were you?" she gives you a knowing smile.

"I'm not judging you- it's just that it's obvious that you miss her. It may or not may be romantic- but you do miss her don't you?". You don't know how to reply to her. You barely knew Yeji, but somehow she very accurately read your emotions.

As if she knows what you're thinking, she continues.

"You know, every time that I've tried bringing up Ryujin, you've always changed the conversation, instead isolating yourself in your room."

Looking back, it made sense. You didn't want to think about her anymore. Your meeting with Ryujin's was temporary and never mattered. It was almost crazy how dependent you were on her within just a few months.

" I realised that I don't know much about Ryujin, nor does she about me. Sure I know she loves mocha bread, she loves her big Ikea Djungelskog soft toy, that she's watched the perks of being a wallflower more times than she can count; but I don't think I could be truly vulnerable with her. I'm scared to be vulnerable with her."

Yeji sighs, almost disappointed. She went back to working, despite her twitching lips, like she had more to say.

That night, you reflect for longer. Why was it that you felt scared to lean on Ryujin? Technically you told her about troubles with academics, problems with some of your classmates- that is considered being vulnerable right? Then what was it that you wanted her to know, but you never wanted to admit? Was it your insecurities? Was it the thought she'd never understand it?

It was like your mind had accepted that you and Ryujin had come from two different worlds, and if you invited her into yours, she would run away, like your family. Despite you coming to terms with it, the distance with your family was a wound still fresh. And nothing would change, until you could put it behind you.

25th October, Yeji handed you an invite to one of her friend's Halloween parties.

After your confession, she'd been a little nicer; she was more active in initiating conversations, and you realised she was more extroverted than your first impression. Eventually, you did watch the Maze Runner with her again, and you appreciated how she gushed about Dylan O'Brien throughout it, dispelling any awkward moments.

"I designed this invitation by the way, cool isn't it?", she asks about the party invitation in your hand. It had black bat details engraved in a glossy reflective paper. "Please come, we've had a difficult week, one party won't hurt will it?" she states, the question more rhetorical.

You agree quietly, excitement bubbling in you.

Until it did hurt, a week later.

Barely five minutes after you enter the loud, congested apartment, with strangers in costumes, you felt a part of your heart drop. There was a tight feeling in your chest, something you were sure wasn't because of the new corset you wore. Because you felt comfortable seconds before you saw Ryujin with her hands wrapped around this guys neck, kissing him on the couch as if he were her entire life. At first, you weren't even sure it was her- her hair was shorter, dyed a platinum blonde. She wore a leather jacket and a white skater dress, dressed so differently than what you were used to seeing her in.

You weren't able to comprehend how good she looked in his arms, with all her attention focused on him, smiling. The same smile that you'd missed for a month. When she does look away from the vampire- you assumed was her boyfriend, her eyes scan the crowd and she almost looks bewildered. You were stood so motionless near the entrance from where you could see them, that even the crowd that pushed past you couldn't bring you to move. It was suffocating, and unconsciously you head for the exit, looking to get away.

But fate wouldn't be so kind would it? The universe wouldn't just let you be would it? "Are you leaving already y/n?" Yeji screams from across the room, which you were sure was audible to everyone. She finds her way to you, a smile on her face. "You just came in, why are you leaving? Cool outfit by the way."

"Thanks," you offer her a stiff smile, eyes going back to Ryujin, who because of Yeji, had finally found you.

Yeji, who just noticed the tension, holds your hand and pulls you towards Ryujin.

"Atleast say hi, y/n, it won't hurt."

Yeji's assurance of "it won't hurt" was what brought you here, it was indeed what hurt you. Her saying this now wasn't helping, and you scoff. It was almost like Yeji knew this was going to happen. It was like she knew how much it hurt you, and may even enjoy it.

"Why did you invite me Yeji? You knew about this didn't you? It hurts, I..I shouldn't have come." you spit out, trembling.

"Y/n, there's something you need to know."

"What? that she has a boyfriend?" you spat, annoyed by her deception.

Yeji sighs, holding onto your shoulders, somewhat urgent.

"No, it's something only Ryujin can tell you. Please, just talk to her. This once."

At this point, you couldn't trust anyone, neither Yeji, Ryujin, nor yourself. It was like you were at different crossroads- to run away, or to confront her again. She hadn't even done anything wrong, all she did was kiss a guy. She didn't owe you anything.

You choose to run away, until you notice Ryujin approaching you with her boyfriend. It's like she withheld any decision you make, with her forcing you into a circumstance you would not choose for yourself.

"Y/n?" she asks softly. Her otherwise comforting voice now made you uncomfortable, almost bringing you to tears by how much you missed it.

"It's been so long," she holds your hand gently.

Her hands felt colder than before, and before you could say anything, the tall, matching vampire spoke up.

"Hi y/n, I'm Jason, her boyfriend. I've heard a lot about you." he looks friendly, and he doesn't seem to hold any malice. But you still hated this guy.

"You have?" you ask saltily. "...good things I hope." you couldn't help but say drily, hands fiddling with the witch hat you'd worn.

"A moment please love," Ryujin signs to her boyfriend, who goes towards the bar with Yeji.

Ryujin takes your hand and drags you towards what you assume to be the bedroom, away from the crowd.

You enter the bedroom with her, with your head ringing because of the way she called him love. You remember how she'd called you love the day you'd tried baking, the day you'd fallen asleep in her arms. You thought the word "love" meant nothing, that it was an endearing term with no implications. But if that was the case- why did she address him as love?

Jealousy eventually overrode the confusion, and the hurt that stained you previously had multiplied. You couldn't feel more stressed, it was so much more than any calculus assignment you'd ever come across.

"Are you crying?" she eventually speaks, eyes concerned. You didn't even realise the visible tears falling down your cheek slowly, your mascara ruined in the reflection of the mirror behind her.

"What do you wanna talk about Ryujin?" you huff. "Y/n, do you need time to calm down? I don't think you're in the mood to talk."

"I'm fine. Just get to the point please." you say, barely concentrating on what was going on. She comes in to hug you, but you step back.

She looks upset by this, seemingly as confused as you. "I...I thought we were friends y/n," she whispers in the same tone she'd always used to comfort you. "We weren't this far apart were we? Why do you hate me?" she raises her voice in desperation.

This was an accusation you could not believe she had made, hate was too strong for what you felt for her.

"I don't hate you Ryujin." you speak, resigned. "Then why do you look so upset, why can't you even say hi?" she emphasises, her voice breaking in between.

"Because it hurts... I can't"

You fall against the bed post. Eyes finding the bear plushie you bought her. You slowly realise that this is her bedroom, and that you were in her new house- the apartment you'd never come to before. You were barely able to process all of this when she speaks up again.

"You can't what y/n? You can't accept the fact that you like me?" You look back at her, eyes widened, as though whatever little sanity you had remaining was destroyed like the branches of an autumn tree- fallen, and weak. It was almost humiliating.

"I don't like you Ryujin," you hide behind your words like a coward. "Don't lie to yourself y/n, is it that difficult to accept that you like me?"

You don't know where this was coming from. If she knew you liked her, couldn't she just let you down gently?

"What does it matter? You have a boyfriend. Even if I did like you; no even if I loved you, nothing would change." you say dejectedly. It must have been true, because there was silence that persisted for longer than you wished it would be.

"What if it did change? What if I said I liked you too? Would you believe me?" she asks quietly, reverting back to her calm persona as she takes a big breath. You scoff, noticing how different she had become in a month. The audacity she had to ask you if you believed her, right after making out with her boyfriend in front of everyone in the room disgusted you, something you don't think you'd ever be able to comprehend.

"Why would I believe you? I saw your boyfriend. Besides, if you did like me, you'd be honest with me. I think that's the least I'd expect from you, so don't play with my feelings; because unlike yours, I can say with conviction that mine are real."

You see her expression change, her eyes becoming teary.

She sits beside you, against the wooden footboard. "I can't be honest, because I'm scared. There's so many people watching me- so many people who my family knows. I barely had, or still have any privacy in my life. Do you know why my grandparents left me this apartment? Because they don't trust me." she pauses for a minute. Taking another deep breath, eyes now fixed on to the floor.

You don't know where she's going with this, but don't say anything because this may be the last time you'd get any closure.

"There was a girl I really liked in high school, but we could never be together, because my family refused to let me meet her. They pretend to be liberal in their thoughts- but they're as homophobic as they get. There's no way they'd understand. The only time I felt safe was in our dorm, because there was no one who would snitch on me, nobody who cared. It was utopia- where you were my solace, and I just basked in the temporary peace.

But when my grandparents asked about you, they'd worry I'd gotten too close to you, refusing to believe you could be just a friend. Two months after I shifted in to our dorm, they made preparations to isolate me in this house of theirs."

She couldn't continue, as tears you'd never seen from her before, collected as a tiny stream between the cracks of the tiles on the cold floor. You understood what she meant. In an evening's moment, you realised that she wasn't this perfect being that she always projected. Yes, she was amazing, but she had her own challenges, something you thought she'd never had. Unlike the two different worlds you thought you were in, your access into her world made you realise you were more similar than you could've imagine. All of a sudden you hated your past self for being so mean to her, for harbouring insecurities that in hindsight were not worth the pain.

"Jason, is my neighbourhood friend, and he's the one of the few people I can trust. He's pretending to be my boyfriend, so that if my family ever found out, they wouldn't doubt me." she explains, trying to resolve your distrust.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper, leaning your head against her shoulder, gently holding onto her hand."

The two of you sit their in silence, reflective, though relieved.

She gently kisses your forehead, arms wrapping around your waist.

"I missed you y/n. So much. But I'm also scared to go back to you, to our place. I don't know what we're going to do. I'm sorry too, for the situation I put you in. For the situation I've put both of us in."

You rub her arms gently,

"It's ok, we'll figure it out slowly. I'm sorry too . You were always there for me- and I, like the coward I am was scared of being attached to you, your generous love . I was also so insecure of how perfect you were- but now it's all so inconsequential."

To this Ryujin laughs, and she wipes her tears. "It's funny how both of our insecurities hurt us in the end. I promise, I wont' let it affect us in the future. I won't ever hurt you again y/n. I love you, so much."

"I love you too Ryujin."

You know that it's going to be a long road ahead of the two of you, but you'll be alright. You comb through her hair, leaning in to meet her lips. Her quivering lips are not soft as you expected, but slightly chapped, brushing against yours. She drags a cold finger down your spine, causing you to lose your breath. Her pulling you closer, slipping behind your corset, unzipping it. Your hands are tangled in her short locks, and you pull away in between to breathe.

With the kiss, and this new path, the autumn you hated so had come to an end. Autumn had become easier to think about, among the loneliness of the dry leaves and the warmth devoid in the air, you'd treasure the warmth that she provided. Shin Ryujin, unlike autumn wasn't temporary. Autumn will come and go, but Shin Ryujin would always stay, and you'd treasure her in every season. In the end, autumn didn't hate you as much you did, because despite everything, autumn gifted you Shin Ryujin.

Am I actually posting an autumn fic when its almost summer? Yes, yes I am. This is long overdue and idk why it took me this long to finish it ahhhh.

I appreciate any feedback, feel free to interact with this post!

Thanks for reading <3

-Macaroon

#itzy fanfic #ryujin x reader #ryujin x you #ryujin fanfiction #shin ryujin imagines #shin ryujin x reader #itzy fanfictions #itzy x reader #itzy x yn #itzy flf #itzy imagines #kpop imagines #shin ryujin fanfic #ryujin ff

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anton-luvr · 8 months

Note

can you do anton x gender neutral reader where he picks you up from a blind date your friend set up for you and you got stood up and he comforts you and they kiss or whatever 😭 sorry if this it too much

# PROMISE.

𖦹 bestfriend!anton x gn!reader | fluff & slight angst | friends to lovers au 𖦹 note; tysm for requesting!! hope u like it hehe ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ + join my 100 followers req event here!

"It's okay, I'm here."

For the first time that night, relief surges through you.

When your friend set you up for your third blind date of the week, you had a feeling it wasn't going to turn out the way you hoped it would.

And sure enough, it didn't.

Thankfully, you had Anton to come to your rescue; he was at the restaurant your date stood you up at in ten minutes.

"I swear to God, that dude's a jackass for not even showing up." Anton huffs as he leads you to his car, opening the door for you. "Get in, I'll take you home."

Sniffling, you merely nod and get into his car.

The curly haired boy sighs as he gets into the driver's seat.

"You know, maybe you should stop going on these blind dates," he scolds lightly, putting his car into drive. "They're starting to take a toll on you."

You didn't want to agree, but he was right.

For the past few months, you had been going on blind date after blind date, just to meet weirdos or get rudely rejected, which left your self-esteem wounded.

But for some reason, today hurt even more than usual.

Maybe it was because of the endless months of loneliness stacking up against you, nights spent alone in your bed.

Maybe it was seeing all of your friends happy with their partners, a bittersweet pain piercing at your heart in wonders when it was going to be your turn.

Maybe it was the stupid delusion that things would work out this time with a complete stranger that your friend said was "nice".

"God, I hate this." you groan, right before bursting into tears.

Anton feels terrible to see you crying, and he quickly pulls over by the side of the road.

"Hey, hey," he says softly, rubbing your shoulders. "It's okay."

"It's not okay!" you sputter, tears falling down your cheeks freely now. "I try and try and try, but I never find someone! Am I that hard to love?"

A sob escapes from your throat and you bury your face in your hands.

Anger boils in Anton's chest, upset to see you hurt thanks to irrelevant strangers who didn't know your worth.

But he lets you cry it out, his hand never leaving your shoulder as he rubbed comforting circles.

"Feel better?" he asks gently, passing you a tissue when your sobs finally quiet down to sniffles.

You shake your head, eyes puffy.

"I feel like shit, Anton." you admit, leaning back against the headrest.

He sighs, softly wiping away a stray tear.

"Listen to me." he says firmly.

"You're one of the most hardworking, gorgeous, talented, funniest, and most caring person I've ever met. Don't let these stupid idiots define your worth. You'll find the right one for you eventually, I'm sure."

You smile sadly at his words, chuckling.

"Yeah, maybe after ten years." you murmur.

Anton scoffs, folding his arms.

"Go on a date with me then."

Your turn to face him so fast, you hear a small crack in your neck.

"M-Me? You?" you stammer, pointing at him and yourself.

Anton doesn't know where his sudden streak of confidence came from, but he nods and leans in closer.

"Give me a chance," he whispers against your lips, cupping your cheek. "I promise I'll treat you right."

It sounds like a line right out of a cringy rom-com, but the genuine sincerity and adoration shining in his eyes says otherwise.

Your heartbeat rings in your ears, thoughts flying through your mind at the speed of light.

Never in a million years would you expect to be face to face with your best friend, his lips just millimeters away from yours right after he asked you out.

Yet it all made sense.

He was always there for you, be it at your lowest or your highest. He knew you like the back of his hand, remembering your favorite coffee order and your favorite songs.

So without hesitation, you close the distance.

Now, you've always wondered what your first kiss would be like, building up all sorts of different scenarios in your head before you slept.

But kissing Anton right now was better than anything else you could imagine.

His lips were so soft against yours, his sweet cologne tickling your nose as he pulled you closer to him. The kiss deepens, and all the noise in your head silences.

It's still silent when he slowly pulls away, his lips swollen and slightly breathless.

"I promise." Anton repeats, sealing it with a soft kiss to your cheek.

It was such a romantic moment, until your stomach grumbling loudly interrupted it.

Your eyes widen, and the both of you burst out laughing. "I think my stomach likes your promise," you joke, slightly embarrassed.

Anton giggles at this, kissing you on the cheek again. "Let's get you some food then, hm?"

You nod as Anton puts the car into drive again.

As he speeds down the roads, he keeps one hand interlaced with yours while the other steers effortlessly.

"Do you want McDonald's? Or something like Waffle House?" he asks, eyes flickering between the GPS and the road.

"Anything is fine," you assure him, squeezing his hand. "I love free food."

Anton laughs, jokingly rolling his eyes at you.

"Anything for my favorite person in the world." he whispers, smiling at you.

"It's giving simp behavior." you tease, cheeks flushing red nevertheless.

He gasps dramatically, clutching his heart as if it was wounded.

"Okay, no more free food then," he declares, shrugging.

"Hey, I was just joking!" you protest.

He laughs again, slowing down the car as he starts parking.

"Alright, time to be a simp and get you your free food!" he announces cheerfully, turning off the engine.

You've barely taken your seatbelt off when he's already out of the car, running to open your door for you.

"I see that chivalry's not dead," you say, taking his stretched out hand as you step out of his car.

"Simp behavior, remember?" he boasts.

You laugh, holding on to his warm hand.

"My best simp."

#riize #riize fluff #riize angst #riize fics #anton #riize anton #riize icons #riize headers #riize moodboard #kpop #kpop fluff #kpop fics #kpop angst

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songbirdseung · 2 months

Text

blurred hearts / park sunghoon ft. sim jake

synopsis: I can't wait for the next life to be with you, i want you now and forever. what can I do to have you see me the way you see him?

pairing: bestfriend!sunghoon x reader, boyfriend!jake x reader, love triangle

warnings: one sided love, relationship troubles, lmk if i missed anything.

wc: 2.3k

masterlist

Your upset best friend, Park Sunghoon hangs up the phone for the third time this week. You called late at night to ramble, rant and cry about your boyfriend who has not been the best towards you these days. The other days of the week were spent face to face, you; running over to his house to ramble, rant, and cry about the same thing. With the messy emotions boiling within you, you fail to notice the same messy whirlpool of emotions swimming in Sunghoon; the man who remains stuck in the friendzone.

"Why don't you just break up with him?" He says as he hands you another box of tissues. "You don't understand, I love him."

"You'd know how it would feel if you loved someone the same way I love Jake." He looks at you as you wipe your tears, seeing you in this state for a past few weeks has given him another reminder why he wants to protect and care for you.

"I do love someone, maybe even more than the way you love Jake" Oh, how he wished he could cast a spell over you to stop crying over your boyfriend and wake up and see what was right next to you, him, Sunghoon.

"Who's that?" This time you actually stop and look at him for the first time again since you opened the door for him. He shakes his head indicating how he won't tell you. "I did not come here to discuss my love life while yours is in shambles." and with what he said, you start crying again, lightly shoving him "Then why did you say it, gosh I hate you." Not effected by your emotional and physical jab, he laughs it off and pulls you into a hug "I love you too."

Back at his house, he knew you were right. It doesn't matter if the odds are not in your favor, it doesn't matter if the other person is hurting you emotionally, if you love them...you stay because apparently love is blind.

Sunghoon lays in his bed as he tries to fall asleep, his head turns to the left to look at the picture frame with a photo of you and him during your vacation after high school graduation.

The two of you got permission from both of your parents to go to Switzerland together, you traveled for the first time, just you two. Luckily you did not get lost or had any bad experiences and made yourselves back home in one piece. The picture reminded him always of that core memory you two had but also reminded him of when the kind lady who took the picture for you calling you two a cute couple, you were about to correct her, but Sunghoon just said thank you and joked about how he can't wait to marry you when you both are older.

Sighing as he turned off the lamp, bitterly going to sleep as he realizes that that may never happen, as long as you're under Sim Jake's love spell.

He's sleeping alone with his weighted blanket while you were cuddled up with your boyfriend. Jake was always the cookie cutter, picture perfect, straight out of a rom com (written by a woman) type of man.

The past week just seemed like an off day for you both, a misunderstanding and conflict that caused you to keep running to your best friend. "I'm sorry for the past week baby, I did not mean to make you feel the way you did." Jake soothes you by caressing your back as you lay you head on his chest. "I'm sorry for projecting my work issues on you, I don't know why I let myself do that."

"It's okay, I totally understand. I mean I would get mad at anyone too if my boss was a complete asshole." You both share a chuckle and Jake kisses your forehead, falling asleep to each other's warmth and presence.

The next day after work, you made your way to the main exit of the building and you find both of the men waiting for you outside, leaning against their cars. "I didn't know you and douchebag made up" Sunghoon was never fond of Jake, he would tell you how he could see pass his "good boy" facade, Jake on the other hand never understood how Sunghoon could hate him when they barely exchanged a few hellos back then. "Dude, I-" you walk up to Jake quickly asking him to just leave it. "Baby, don't. It's okay, He didn't mean it."

"Yes, I did." Sunghoon says, not sparing a glance at the both of you. "Sunghoon, why are you here? and what's with the attitude?"

"I thought to pick you up since you and lover boy were not on good terms, but I guess you two made up." He tries to play off the jealousy by shrugging and having a nonchalant look on his face as he enters his car. "See you around, yeah?" Without waiting for a reply he drives away.

"That best friend of yours really hates me" Jake draws little circles on your back as he pulls you closer for a hug. "I guess after all the times you've made me cry the past week, it's safe to say, yes he does."

He laughs, looking unbothered by it "As long as you're always gonna be mine" he says as he opens the passenger side door for you. "Always."

The car ride home was better than the last time he picked you up, now there was less tension and back to normal. His free hand holding yours while stealing kisses from you during a red light or a stop sign. "Why don't we head to the store, pick up a few things and drive home to have a game night?" Jake suggested. "Let's make sure this game night, stays as game night, alright lover boy" teasing him with the nickname Sunghoon called him earlier. "You know the name Loverboy doesn't bother me, love." shaking your head, you just continue to watch Jake drive you both to the store safely.

Meanwhile back at the bar, Sunghoon is seated next to his friends Heeseung and Jay. "You know, Sunghoon...I hate to say this but-"

"Shut up, I know you're gonna tell me I don't have a shot with yn"

"Oh, so you do know but still decide to be an idiot?"

"We might as well record our same old advice and you could replay it every time you're back in this situation." He rolls his eyes and shoves Jay's face away from his. "You guys are such 'great' friends" the other men laugh and nudge Sunghoon. "We are only joking but also, it's the truth man, I know you like her a lot but she's happy with Jake."

"Also, he's not that bad of a guy, I used to work with him." Heeseung shares a short story on Jake. But this doesn't change Sunghoon's outlook on him. "Clearly jealousy is clouding your judgment" Jay takes away the drink from Sunghoon and reminding him he has work tomorrow.

"Wait, have you ever tried confessing to yn?" He shakes his head, telling them how it was clear that you never liked him. "Really? I remember her telling me in college that she had a crush on you when we were in-" not caring about the rest of Jay's story, he books it out of the bar and heads to your house. "Great, you made him delulu, thinking he can pull her now" Heeseung and Jay laugh seeing their friend stumble out the chair and run to his car.

Yes, he was still sober, but he was drunk on you. As he drives, he's thinking about all those times back in college, wondering if you really had a crush on him back then. But as he pulls into your driveway, he spots Jake's car in the garage, oh how lovely.

Nonetheless, he's at your door, ringing the doorbell. "Hello how-" Jake's sentence was cut short once he sees who's at the door. "I need to talk to yn" Sunghoon enters your house, not looking at Jake and just makes his way over to you. "Okay..." Jake awkwardly closes the door and goes over to you.

"Woah, Sunghoon what are you doing here?"

"He said he wanted to talk to you, So, I'll give you to some privacy. I'll be in the room, love." Kissing you and walking away. To this, Sunghoon looks away but rolls his eyes. Once he hears the bedroom door close, he jumps into action. Sitting next to you on the floor that was decorated with blankets, fairy lights, and snacks. The tv screen illuminated by the game you put on pause.

"Jay told me you had a crush on me back in college, that true?" You blink more than you usually do, bewildered on why that made him come over so suddenly. "Well, yeah but only for like a month?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" You think back to the time, and you remember the day you did see him in a different way. "I think it was just because I just got dump by that guy I was seeing, after that I kind of reminisced about how different you two would treat me." You looked at Sunghoon who was waiting for the direct explanation, so you continued. "You always treated me like a princess and reminded me how worthy I was, so I guess during that month I started developing feelings for you."

"And?"

"I didn't do anything about it because that same month, you started dating that one girl from your class." At this point, Sunghoon was now wishing he just stayed for the rest of Jay's story. "Why did you rush all the way here, also, were you drinking?"

"Maybe..I was with Jay and Heeseung."

"Answer my question.

"I did"

"The first question, Hoon"

"I don't remember what it was."

"Don't bs me, you're not drunk" He sighs and quickly thinks on an excuse to give you. "I was so curious, that's all, besides I was driving home, thought I stop by" you weren't convinced in the slightest, but you know there was no more budging this dude, so you nod and tell him whatever.

A little later Sunghoon goes back home, and Jake comes back into the living room. "What was that about?" Sitting back down in his spot and picking up his controller. "He found out I had a small crush on him back in college before you and I dated, he was curious..."

"Well, yeah the guy has a huge crush on you now, maybe he thought you were-"

"Wait what?"

"Oh, c'mon babe, it's so obvious." You pause the game again and face your boyfriend, waiting for more explanations. "I'm a dude, he's a dude, I basically know he likes you based off on how he acts, especially around me with you." Still not believing it, Jake suggests you call him, being direct and just ask him. So, you do, he hands you your phone and you dial his number.

When you call, Sunghoon has just entered his house and locked the door when he hears your ringtone. Picking up and he immediately wants to go run and hide. "Do you like me, Sunghoon?"

"Of course, you're my best friend. Of course-"

"Not platonically, Sunghoon. Do you have feelings for me?"

"What you gonna do if I do?"

As much as he wants you to drop that boyfriend of yours and be with him, he knows it too selfish to take you away from your happy relationship. But with the number of times where he put you first before his own self, was we wishing you would do so? "You know what, yn let's forget about it, I don't want to ruin what you have with Jake" then hangs up the phone. "So?" Jake looks at you with 'I told you so' look, making you glare at him. "He does..."

"You'll probably have to talk to him seriously next time you guys meet" this time when you pick up your controller, you don't have the same excitement you had before, now you're nervous and scared that you might have just lost your best friend. "I'm sorry I even brought that up, now you're in this predicament."

"No, babe. It's fine, it's better I find out than never."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to help him move on?" confused with your own answer that it came out as a question. "That'll be awkward."

And for sure it was, because the next two days Sunghoon manage to dodge you and hide away, but those victories of avoiding you ends now. You stand at his front door. With the help of Jay and Heeseung, you three manage to plan something to get him to come out of his house. Sunghoon got ready to meet Jay but when he opened the door to leave, he saw you. "We need to talk."

"What is there to talk about? Yn, you know now that I like you but there's nothing you can do about it." Sunghoon tries to walk past you to get to his car but when he looks in the driveway, his car isn't there. "Jay took your car but don't worry, you're coming with me." Taking his arm and bringing him to your car. "I don't understand how you say I can't do anything about it when-"

"It's not like you're going to break up with Jake to be with me yn, you love him. You don't love me that way, I can't just force you to." You stop walking and face him again. "I can't get you to fall for me by making moves on you because that's not fair to Jake and you. So please, just forget about it."

He gently removes your hand off him and fixes his jacket. "Just go home yn" you try to walk close to him, but he just backs up, away from you. "Sunghoon, I don't want to lose you."

"But yn, I already lost you years ago." He takes your silence a chance to retrieve back into his house and locking the door behind him. The barrier keeping you two apart.

#enhypen #enhypen imagines #enhypen au #engene #enha #enhypen x reader #jake #sunghoon #sim jake #park sunghoon #sim jaeyun #sunghoon au #enhypen sunghoon #sunghoon x reader #sunghoon imagines #enhypen jake #jake enhypen #jake sim imagines #jake sim x reader

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thefanficmonster · 2 months

Text

Phases

Colby Brock x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Implied Sexual Activity, Paranormal Investigations, Referenced Drinking, Swearing

Genre: Angst with a happy ending, Friends to Lovers, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: They're running through the motions, going through phases. Somehow, they always miss each other. Yet they always come back to each other

NOTE: No hate or disrespect is meant to any of the people mentioned in the story. If you find something wrong in the way I have depicted them please let me know. Just keep in mind that has in no way been my intention.

First it was Shea and Brennen.

Well, first it was Shea and Brennen came along afterwards. Or he was in the wings, so to speak.

Y/N was doing cartwheels to set the two up. She didn't expect she'd land on her head in the end. She didn't realize it until she saw them being openly affectionate with one another.

Realize that she may be a terrible friend despite her attempts.

Sure, she bent over backwards to play matchmaker between Colby and Shea, as a good friend would. But the epiphany that she may not be as happy with the product of her labor as thought she would be hit her like a train, carrying bags upon bags of self-accusations.

Because of course that burning in her gut wasn't jealousy. They're just friends, duh. The two are incredibly happy and head over heels for one another and she, as a good friend, should be happy. Proud even. Glad her efforts paid off.

Yet, she's anything but.

"Get a room already." She'd heard a playful scoff from right next to her, grabbing her attention. She'd been sitting on the ledge of the pool, damp hair curtaining her full view of the love birds across from her.

She looked over to the now occupied spot next to her. There, like a beacon of hope and comfort, sat Brennen. Her best friend. Someone she could always turn to for anything and everything. Someone who'd always catch her in open arms no matter what.

The burning in her gut turned to sickness when the idea lit up her gloomy mind. Not only the idea itself. But how quickly it got conjured up, how quickly a part of her accepted and justified it. Despite how wrong it was. Despite how low it would require her to stoop.

And stoop she did when she let the constant and trademark flirting between her and Brennen turn into something not so unserious.

That's when we're gonna switch the perspective to the other ledge, the one across from theirs. Across the pool. Where Colby and Shea were seated.

It was a hard feat - sulking in his a pit of self-pity while in her company. Shea has always been a ray of sunshine in his life. Platonically, though. He doesn't remember who came up with the concept of their relationship potentially developing into something more nor what prompted such an idea. He just knows Y/N took it and ran with it, strongly believing her best friend was madly in love with this girl and just didn't have the balls to tell her.

She did the most. Coaching him, advising him, lecturing him, hoping to finally push him into confessing feelings she had no clue were nonexistent.

Colby had tried to tell her numerous times but with no success of convincing her. She was adamant that she wanted to come through for him, saying she wanted him to do what she'd been too afraid to do on too many occasions. Which, via an overall observation, could be seen as sweet. If you were to undermine the fact that the feelings she wasn't able to express were meant for him. And that the feelings he was truly feeling were toward her. With that in mind, it's a very overdone rom-com plot.

Her reservations regarding his relationship with Shea were replicated and planted right into his chest when he first saw Brennen with his arm around Y/N's shoulders, the gesture lacking the slight platonic distance this time around.

But he knew he had no right. He viewed it as the universe showing him in a plain and cruel way that he's a coward and practically watched his train depart without making an effort of getting on it. He was aware he was grasping at straws with both his relationship and hers. There was nothing to complain about between him and Shea. She was and always will be such a lovely person. The only gripe was the fact that he went into that relationship out of defeat - seeing Y/N so eager and excited to set him up with someone else just cemented what he already feared: she felt for him none of what he felt for her. And so, continuing along his cowardly ways, he gave in. Which was so far from what Shea deserved.

Just like Brennen didn't deserve to be a second best.

He treated Y/N as nothing less than royalty. He was an incredible friend to her for as long as they've known each other and an even better boyfriend once they agreed to put a serious label on their relationship. To him, she meant the world. To her, this whole thing was just a ton of guilt she couldn't stomach. How he'd ended up at the wrong place at the wrong time to get caught up in her bullshit she'll never know. She wishes the universe was kinder to him and didn't throw him in the jaws of her self-loathing but alas maybe he was the saving grace she needed all along to get over Colby.

Yeah, well that was wishful fucking thinking.

To nobody's surprise, neither relationship stayed afloat for long.

Unlike Shea and Colby however, nothing really changed between Brennen and Y/N. The two's nearly decade long friendship withstood the year of their relationship without batting an eye. The break up wasn't so much a permanent full stop to anything potentially romantic between them. More so a delay, a postponing. Y/N couldn't deny the feelings that bloomed for him but she couldn't pretend they stemmed from upmost honesty either. She was aware her best friend deserved that honesty so until she could cleanse her system of a particular someone, she decided she would stop dragging him down with her.

But it would be so unlike Brennen to not stick around by her side regardless.

Colby and Shea distanced themselves quite a bit though. And the guilt was eating away at him. He'd pushed her away with his hollowness and numbness but didn't have the backbone to actually put an end to it. He was - for a lack of a better term - quite relieved when she took that weight off his shoulders and did it herself.

"I can't have a long distance relationship with someone sitting right next to me, Colby. I can't stand the way you look at me with that thousand yard stare. Like you're fucking miles away." Every word was spot-on for how their relationship had been transpiring as of recent.

And every word was further confirmed by how Colby could do nothing but blink and nod somewhat absentmindedly while Shea bared her soul.

He knew she deserved better from the start. In that moment he was made cruelly aware that he was so far away from what she deserved, he was practically a punishment.

But did either Colby or Y/N learn their lesson after that?

Of course they fucking didn't.

Because then comes the sequel: Amber and Nate.

It's lightyears away from Y/N's proudest moment everything that happened that summer when Nate moved to LA. And same goes for Colby and his whoring around at parties and afterparties alike. His reckless behavior - all witnessed by Y/N in real time, by the way - was actually the main catalyst that sent this second chapter of idiocy in motion.

That's not to say that Nate didn't have plenty of cards playing in his favor. He's attractive, charming, kind, responsible. He was in many ways the embodiment of all the attributes Colby had lost in Y/N's eyes. He was a walking green flag and she knew just little enough about him to pursue something. Anything to get her mind off the unchained party animal Colby had turned into.

It's not like Colby was unaware of his antics. The worst part that he was never drunk enough to justify his bullshit. His liver could only handle so much so he was always at least half sober. Yet he was still wilding out to the point that Sam felt obligated to keep him in check, turning their dynamic upside down.

Most nights Sam wouldn't have even a sip of alcohol to prevent letting his guard down. He didn't trust his best friend to be able to look out for himself in the slightest. Given that he was sober practically 90% of the time, he was the first to pick up on the building sexual tension between Nate and Y/N.

"They're cute and all, but they should just fuck already." He'd laughed as he accompanied Colby to the bar so he could force him to down a glass of water.

Water he almost choked on and spit out when the words Sam said processed in his brain. Following his gaze, he found a sight that nearly cleaned his stomach of all the alcohol he'd consumed that night. Nate and Y/N were omitting all subtlety as they danced together across the club. There was no room to question their intentions for one another.

It would be rather hypocritical of Colby to clutch his pearls and be a prude over a simple one night stand between his friends. He was actually hoping it'd remain as that - a one-time thing.

He was let down quite rudely when the two announced they were officially dating about a week later.

And, as the pattern goes: enter Amber.

Ok, that's just some dramatic flare, she'd been there all along.

She had been there for Colby the way Brennen was for Y/N during the previous phase. She too found herself at the wrong place at the wrong time and faced the same fate of being a second best.

It would be three long years before both relationships would come to an end. These two a lot less calm in their conclusion.

For Y/N and Nate it was three years well spent, but also down the drain. It was an unfortunate case of two people traveling in opposite directions. Nate could see them together for years to come. But Y/N couldn't do that. Not to him and not to herself. The immense pain and heartbreak this break up brought on cemented some distance between them although they were both adamant they didn't want to lose one another. And so it's remained, they're still close friends with lingering feelings sticking around.

On the other side of the spectrum were Colby and Amber. Their relationship did not end so quietly and calmly. In fact it blew up, going up into the flames of their endless petty fights. In that fire burned up their friendship also. They lost all that connected them. They lost everything. The break up was the far lesser evil than staying together.

You'd think each with a three year relationship under their belt, their feelings for each other would have faded by this point. For a while that's what they wanted to believe.

"It is what it is." Colby said, handing her a beer as he took a seat next to her on the pool ledge.

She accepted it with a small, sad smile, "It is what it is." She agreed, swishing around the clear pool water with her feet as she rested her head on his shoulder.

It always came back to this. Three years ago after phase one, they found themselves there and now history was repeating itself. At the end of each chapter, they'd always find their way to one another, seeking comfort in each other's company. They are best friends, after all, but they also seemed to be running through the same motions at the same time. They lived on two sides of the same coin regarding romance, unaware they were practically prompting on another.

And Sam saw it all. That night too, when he came downstairs for a late night snack and peered out in the backyard. There he saw his two best friends, enjoying a quiet moment of mutual understanding. It got a little too perfectly coincidental for him to even believe it was a coincidence anymore. The patterns were too perfect, too alike. The timelines were adding up too well.

But he said nothing. He knew better than to try. He's never met more stubborn people in his life. He was just left to hope that eventually they'd find their way to each other permanently. Not for comfort or understanding, but for forever and always.

Phase three would soon commence, again following a pattern. Summer. Parties. Drinking. This time Y/N was just as engaged in the insanity of LA parties as Colby. In fact, he was the one slowly pulling out of that lifestyle. He needed to keep a level head to prevent his best friends - yes, Sam was back to his wild ways also - from making bad decisions.

Yet he just stood and watched, almost frozen, as Y/N was making another big mistake to kick-start the third installment of their trilogy.

That mistake being Seth.

This time is different, however. There's nothing romantic going on there. Anyone with two eyes and a brain could see that. It was purely physical. Just sex, just momentary relief. No strings were attaching them other than shallow attraction and occasionally alcohol.

All Sam and Colby could do was watch. They wouldn't want to make the wrong move and come across as babying Y/N. The previous couple months had made her emotionally unpredictable and they didn't want to lose her due to her continuously shortening temper.

But Colby couldn't just stay away and observe her slipping through his fingers. So, he let her go and found himself in the company of Stas. Another mutual friend, much like Seth. And he was wholeheartedly hoping she'd be the one, that it would last. That it wouldn't be another repetition of old ways.

Oh if only...

That's where we are now, half a year later with two loose relationships over which hangs the question 'what are we?'. None of the parties know. Or at least they don't want to.

The comfort Y/N was seeking in the nonchalant rendezvous with Seth has now become bitterness. She wanted someone to have and to hold, not someone that was gone minutes after the deed was done. To be frank, she's not sure if she even wanted him to stick around. There's nothing colder than an insincere embrace. She had her blankets to keep her warm, she didn't need Seth. She's been joking with Kat that at this point she needs a lobotomy.

Kat, much like Sam, has started taking not of the patterns. Of the perfect coincidences. Of the reason none of their relationships worked out in the end, no matter how wonderful they appeared all throughout. Shea and Colby were adorable, no one saw or could pin point where it all went wrong. There was a bit more understanding to Brennen and Y/N's situation. Their friendship was just stronger than their romance and that's what they picked. Amber and Colby were great, until they weren't,. Until the petty bickering and fights started. Until tensions got high and they could no longer even look each other in the eye. Nate and Y/N were the couple everyone was certain would eventually put a ring on it. It was quite the shock to find out they'd decided to break up. Once again, no one could pinpoint why.

Now, it's Seth and Stas' turn. Only time will tell if the pattern will take hold again.

"What's up guys, it's Sam and Colby!" Colby starts the intro to the video they're filming as per usual.

"Today, we'll be diving into the dark history of Savannah Penitentiary. This monstrosity of a building behind us." Sam picks up on his usual cue, turning to point at the indeed both ginormous and hideous building behind the group.

"It's gonna be a long night." Josh says through a nervous laugh, unaware just how right his prediction would prove to be later on.

So, in they go. It would be rude to keep the spirits waiting.

* * * * * *

Well the spirits sure as hell didn't keep them waiting. Even during the tour, they were very adamant on letting the group know they were present and waiting for the opportunity to talk. Bangs, knocks, taps, footsteps - each sound sending the five huddling just a bit closer together.

Sam and Colby always made it a priority to keep their guests feeling safe and comfortable on these investigations. That was - and still is - the case when they first managed to convince Y/N to tag along with them. Now she's no longer a guest but a staple of their videos, having become a fan-favorite within her first investigation. Still, her comfort and safety was of upmost importance to them. She's grown thicker skin to the paranormal over time but they're all only human and there are very few things more human than fear.

That, however, doesn't mean she's absolved of the trademark Sam and Colby solo investigations. This time she just happened to be the unlucky last on nose-goes which sent her path into the woods next to the penitentiary with nothing but a camera and an EMF meter.

"Fuck you all! I'll fucking haunt you when whatever's out there kills me." Y/N flipped Sam and Colby - and by extension Seth and Josh - the finger before making her venture out into the eerie and all too noisy night, turning on night-vision on her camera.

That's where she is now, minding each and every step with the very little visibility her camera is providing her. "This fucking sucks." She mumbles to herself, taking a drag from the cigarette she lit to calm her nerves. She's never one to publicly chicken out but she is most definitely panicking internally. So much so that a clap of thunder makes her jump and almost drop the EMF.

"Is no one here or do you just not wanna talk to me?" Y/N says, her voice louder now. She secures the cigarette between her lips to properly show the device to the camera. Nothing. Literal crickets. "Is it cause I'm a woman? Shawn told us you're not very fond of women." She attempts again, referencing what their tour guide had said earlier.

And it proves successful when the light flicks up to yellow.

"I see." She rolls her eyes as she stomps out her cig, "Well could you please refrain from being mean because I'm not just gonna stand here in this oncoming storm for you to give me nothing in return. The people want to hear what you have to say. This is your chance. Can you make this device in my hand light up if you're willing to talk to me?"

For a split second, it does light up. Almost as though the spirits are begrudgingly agreeing to converse with a woman.

"Ok great." She smiles in success, "I'll ask you yes/no questions. Light my device up for yes, ok? Or maybe give me a more obvious sign?" The EMF lights up to orange this time, scaring her briefly but it's showing progress. "Alright." Right on time as well because the first rain drops have just hit her skin. No rain will get her to move now, though. She has spirits to talk to.

Back inside the even colder halls of the penitentiary, more specifically in the basement cell unit, is Colby. He's pacing around with a frustratingly inactive Ovilus.

He's flipped the entire basement to find at least a pocket of activity and has been slapped in the face with paranormal rejection each and every time. With the quiet spell having taken over, the moment the Ovilus came to life was quite the mini heart attack.

"Woman?" Colby reads the word on the screen after recovering, his brows furrowed as he tries connecting the word to anything they've learned throughout the night. And then it clicks, or at least he thinks it does. "Are you talking about nurse Helen? Was she the one who killed you?"

Earlier during the tour, the guide showed them the medical wing where a particularly malicious spirit resided. Nurse Helen. She was a mean older woman who exuded her own justice on the inmates by method of 'medical mistake' or 'accident' which 99% of the time resulted in the death of the inmates she was supposed to tend to.

Another quiet spell before the Ovilus sounded one more word: 'Woods'.

"Huh..." Colby's initial idea is now null and void. He tries drawing a connection between the words. The conclusion comes a lot quicker this time around, coupled with a flash of lightning and a clap of thunder just as a downpour starts.

The woman in the woods.

Y/N.

Seconds later he's running up the stairs to the ground floor, breaking the rule of the solo investigation with five minutes left on the clock. He runs out in the pouring rain, using his phone flashlight for guidance because he'd left his camera in the lobby. He has no indication of where she could be exactly. The woods take up a huge portion of the property and they're paced with closely planted trees that hinder his visibility futher.

After a solid minute of no sign from her, he decides to just call out to her.

It's safe to say all color drains from Y/N's body when she hears her name echo around her through the sound of the downpour. Sounds of leaves crunching follow which serve only to further terrify her. It isn't until the second time the voice rings out calling to her that she recognizes the voice as Colby's and calls back, hoping to God it's actually him.

"Yeah?! What is it?!" She inadvertently turns off the camera and brings it down to her side, her arm sore from holding it up. She fumbles to find her phone in her pocket and shine its flashlight in the direction his voice is coming from. Just in time to illuminate Colby, soaked to the bone, much like herself.

"Oh thank God you're ok." He sighs, panting to catch his breath, resting his hands on his hips to stabilize himself and let the assurance of her well-being sink in.

"Why wouldn't I be?" She asks, pushing her damp hair to the side, pulling up the hood of her hoodie over her head, taking a couple steps toward him. She lifts his bowed head with a finger under his chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "Hey, hey...I'm ok. Relax. Everything's ok. What happened?"

In that moment, it's clear as day even in the pitch black rainy night, that these two will never find a bridge that will help them get over one another. There's no getting over what they want to be, what they could be. They may run through phases all their life and continuously miss each other.

But something will always bring them back to this. These pure, raw, intimate moments between them. Moments perfectly constructed for them to finally spit out what's been plaguing them for literal years. But they may never actually...

"I thought you were in danger. I thought...." He inhales sharply, calming himself and forcing the stuck words out, "I didn't want anything to happen to you."

Y/N gives him a smile unsure of if it's meant to reassure him or if it's just a display of how his words are making her feel. "Nothing happened, Colbs. I'm ok. I was having a nice conversation with whoever is here. Nothing's wrong. I wasn't in danger. But thank you. The fact that you came here to check on me means a lot." She lowers her hands to take hold of his ice cold ones, instinctively bringing them up to her lips to blow some warm air onto them. "You're fucking freezing, you dumbass." She laughed, pulling down the hoodie sleeves she had rolled up to cover his hands too.

His skin might be cold as ice but his heart just swelled three times its size, a small fire having been lit inside it. And it's spreading throughout his whole chest, his whole body. He can't contain it. Not the fire and not the urge to kiss her.

So he does.

And pulls back just as quickly, fearful that he'd just ruined a decade of friendship. He came out to these woods out of fear he might lose her to an uncertain danger but he may have just lost her because of his own inability to suppress his feelings any longer.

He's just about to apologize when she pulls him down by the collar of his hoodie, their lips clashing once more.

Remember what I said about their shitty situation being a classic rom-com plot? This is the perfect ending to that movie, is it not? We've seen it many times on big and small screens alike. It may be an ending to the movie but it's just the beginning of something new.

The end of the phases, the undoing of the patterns.

The start of that forever and always they were seeking with other people because they thought they could never get it with each other.

And no one's happier to see it than Sam. He witnesses it via a perfect parallel two nights later - going down to grab a late night snack and peering out in the backyard to see his best friends sitting on the pool ledge, beers all but forgotten by their sides as they are lost in each other. Their eyes, touch, scent, kisses. All they'd been starving each other of for so many years.

Seeing this, Sam knows what he has to do.

"Get a room already!" He shouts, chucking a kitchen towel at the couple, startling them into almost toppling over into the pool.

There it is - the perfect circle. It always comes back to this very pool with them two.

This time however, it's actually perfect. Because they are finally each other's. Officially, that is. He's been hers and she's been his for longer than anyone could've imagined. But none of that matters now.

Their lives are finally perfectly complete.

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