#ryujin fanfiction

[macaroonff]

This Autumn, - Shin Ryujin

Genre: Roommates x lovers, College +Domestic Au, Autumn feels Pairing: Shin Ryujin x fem! Reader ↪Content warnings: Mentions of a dysfunctional families, slight angst, mentions of homophobia, mention of insecurities Word Count: 7k+ words Suggested Songs: We found Love in October- Girl In Red I wanna be your girlfriend- Girl in Red Bubble gum- Clairo Duvet- Bôa October Passed Me By- Girl in Red Girls-Girl in Red Softly- Clairo You know where this playlist is heading- feel free to recommend more ↪not proofread

Sometimes fall meant that the clarity of summer had ended, and that the dryness wasn't accompanied by sweat, but by the heaviness of hoodies and the bareness of barks. A bore compared to the freedom and excitement that summer offered; a dispirited time when you look back to the last three months. 

Of course autumn wasn't all bad. The colours took on a warmer palette as the trees bared themselves devoid of its warmth: warmth which could be found in campfires and cosy sheets; in people's hugs and weighted blankets; in hot lattes, crunchy leaves and early sunsets.

But when assignments piled up from the start of the season, finding opportunities to revel in such warmth seemed unsuccessful. You hurriedly tried composing yourself from last month's activities; internships, staycations and pool parties, returning from a whirlwind of adrenaline. It was exhausting, and you were burnt out before the semester even started. 

But a student you were, a decent one you tried to be, as you file your assignments, albeit slowly due to sleep deprivation. The first week of autumn went by with professors dumping assignments immediately as you try to ease the pace at which you deal with it. Clearly, autumn had you drained from day one.

Autumn hated you more than you hated it.

Autumn, two weeks in wasn't too bad. You took time to catch up on deadlines, you made plans with friends, went on walks and you got especially close to your new roommate. Her name was Ryujin, a dark haired divinity with prominent features that meshed gently. Someone who never forgot to get you your daily dose of iced latte and her favourite mocha bread from the café opposite your dorm.

It started when she came back from her evening lectures on a Thursday, holding one mug in her hand, a woolly scarf tucked into her shirt. She came in to see you with hands knitted in your hair, frustrated at the work you had, feet bobbing in concentration. 

A small 'hi' was all that you returned when you noticed her presence.

"Another stressful assignment?," she asks, concerned. Her low timbre is soothing and takes you out of your sums for a brief moment, a sigh escaping your chapped lips.

"It’s calculus." You make eye contact for the first time since she entered, a polite smile greeting her, though the frown almost tilted the other way. 

She waved her hands in a light motion acknowledging your concern, the room key in her palm dangling in it to make a soft clack. 

"Understandable, it's a real headache, especially since you're in Mr Lee’s course. Anything I could help you with?"

"I just need a break," you reply dejectedly, hoping to get away from your monotonous, monstrous tasks. 

"Wanna watch a movie?" she asks, a soft grin hiding on her face. She watches your ears perk up and your eyes shine at the suggestion, to which a chuckle remains stuck in her throat.

"Why don't you choose something and I'll join you after I'm done freshening up." she hands you the remote before walking into her room, grabbing her white towel from the laundry rack.

You sit in silence and wallow in contemplation. Choosing a movie, should be easy. 

Would a sappy rom-com distracting you from your lamentable, gapingly non-existent love life suffice? Or did you need another of those poorly directed and filmed action ones, which would, undoubtedly help you fix your sleep schedule. But then again, would Ryujin watch it? What’s a movie she’d like? Slice of life? Coming of age? Horror?

A change in the lighting of the room, and Ryujin’s tap on your shoulder was what eventually brought you out of your dilemma, and you take your vacant stare off of the blank tv screen towards your roommate instead.

The warm lights had blurred everything in the background in a way that it brought Ryujin’s face into focus, a soft glow emanating from her cheeks. Her hair was wet, the towel lazily wrapped around her supple hair, doing a measly job at keeping it from seeping into her t-shirt. Her oversized black t-shirt had patches of darker spots that clinged to her because of it, making you worried she might catch a cold. You rush to hand her a new towel, one that would actually help. 

“Don’t catch a cold, not the best time of the year to fall sick.” you whisper.

She smiles in appreciation and holds your arm, accepting the fabric for you. "You're cold too y/n. It'd probably be best for us to grab some blankets." 

After ten minutes of rummaging through your creaky cabinets and five minutes of popping corn, you were ready to distance yourself from your headaches, with new-found warmth in your newly washed duvets. 

Snug and pressed against the cushions of the sofa, with your head on her shoulder. Snug as she pats your back until the television's whisper no longer has your attention and you find your heavy eyelids closing on their own. 

Snug as you embrace sleep after months of running away from it.

Snug, however, wasn't what you felt when you woke up in the morning, blankets tangled between your legs, and an annoying ache in your ribs, due to the crushing weight of your favourite cushion. 

Snugness was replaced by the bitterness of another new day, and your long forgotten assignments weighed heavier than they did before. 

All of a sudden last night's peace was something you regretted. And you regret having been swayed by someone you considered an acquaintance.

If Shin Ryujin hadn’t offered, you'd never have taken a break. You'd never have given yourself the opportunity to be wasteful with time. You shouldn't have been tempted by the thought of a moment's freedom. 

Freedom that remained a mirage. A mirage that showed you a time of comfort. Comfort that would last one evening until you'd have to revisit everything you ran away from.

What's the point in having comfort if it's given by someone you interact with for three hours a day? What was the point in comfort if it was momentary?

Shin Ryujin was a roommate you'd have for only two more months until her grandparent's apartment was done with renovations.

Shin Ryujin was temporary.

Autumn three weeks in, was no different. Except that your backlog had increased, your sleep schedule got worse and all that you cared about was getting over with your to-do lists. How you had energy to do everything one by one remained a mystery, but you soon realised that it wasn’t energy that drove you to finish work, but the fear of running out of it sooner or later. As if it wasn’t already obvious, you were on the brink of burnout.

Not that you hated burnout. For some reason being burnt out meant that you'd be forced to take time out for mental health sooner or later. You would be forced to slow down like you did last week. 

Sitting down and finally looking back, last week felt like a distant memory so far away from your reality. It was a privilege you gave yourself, and it was so worth it, contrary to what you felt immediately. She was right, the movie did help, the movie did get you back into a safe space from your anxiety; and you never cared to thank her for it. 

You’d do it today. Thanking her. You absolutely had to.

You spent the next ninety minutes planning the best way to return the favour. Essentially, you spent the next ninety minutes going back on all the little things Ryujin did for you. Which led to the realisation that her love language was a careful amalgamation of acts of service, quality time and physical touch. 

“Maybe I’ll just bake mocha bread. I couldn’t go wrong with that,” you contemplate. You weren’t the best baker on earth, however you had enough experience to go ahead with it.

All you needed was milk, eggs, flour, yeast, sugar and coffee. Everything you had at home, really not much could go wrong.

Until it did. There was no way the universe would let you have anything good before your semester tests. Of course it had to sabotage you when you tried to do one thing with actual love behind it.

The microwave oven she brought in with her beeped once before a loud pop stopped you in your tracks. It was overheated, and nothing you did brought the irksome device back to life. No matter how many buttons you pushed vigorously, or hit the back of it tiresomely, the empty  black box on the door showed no sign of the tiny numbers signalling time left.

Time left. You look at the Ikea clock hung on the wall. Ten minutes more for the bread to be baked until completion, and thirty minutes until she’d come back and discover this mess and the damage to her microwave.

And boy does she love that microwave.

Shin Ryujin knew something was wrong when she entered later at night, almost too late for you to be up right now, just a little before midnight, the smell of sweet coffee greeting her. She’d gone to visit the apartment her grandparents had bought for her, a half hour from here. She was so caught up in finalising the layout that she forgot to mention that she’d be late home. What’s worse was that she had got caught in heavy traffic, and her phone lost charge in the middle of dialling you. 

And when she got up here, completely spent from the work, it took very little for her to be consumed by frustration. Not particularly because of you. None of it had to do with you. She knew that the tedious microwave was ancient and that her parents only gave it to her to get rid of it. She also knew that she should’ve told you about it sooner, before it actually became a problem. So no, in no way was this your fault. 

She looked at your head buried under your arm on the dining table with a mitten on one hand and a post-it under your elbow. The post-it didn’t say much, just scribbled and crossed out words that all seemed to resemble different “I’m sorrys" and “microwaves". You had multiple other post-its crumpled nearby and she picked all of them up and carefully opened them one by one. Between the creases, one said, “I’m so sorry for the microwave Ryujin, ik you treasure it because your parents lent it to you. I just wanted to thank you for last week and I thought I’d bake your favourite but -” it stopped there at which point you must’ve crumpled it. 

Ryujin let her sight wander across the baking utensils washed and stacked neatly on the drying rack and a box of half baked, burnt dough nearby. She smiles, both grateful and apologetic, an urge to caress your head settling in. She takes a closer look at you, trying to figure how she could deposit you to your bed. 

She slowly lifts your head up, wiping excess dough from near your frowning mouth, and her eyes wander up, to your slightly fluttering eyelids facing the yellow lights. It was then under the warm lights that she noticed semi-dried tears under your lashes. Another surge of guilt ran through her, thinking of how worried you must’ve been. 

In the cold kitchen, she lifts you off the chair as carefully as she can and gently drags you across the living room. It was when she’d propped you against the headboard that you stir awake.

Through half-lidded eyes, you take in whatever you can. Ryujin was holding on to your hand gasping slightly.

“Ryujin?” you whisper.

“Shit I didn’t mean to wake you up,” she looks at you a little surprised.

“I’m so sorry-” you mumble in desperation.

“Shh," she places a palm over your eyes, "don’t worry about it love. Go to bed, we’ll talk in the morning”

You aren’t convinced but you also realise that now isn’t the best time to talk. Ryujin’s eyebags seemed deeper in the warm light and you knew both of you needed a decent rest. It had been a hectic time for the two of you, and all you needed was sleep.

Ryujin still had the benevolence to pull the blanket over you and stroke your hair until you fell asleep.

It was the second time you fell asleep in her arms.

The following weekend you were on a shopping trip.

At a semi-large Ikea warehouse about forty minutes away from the campus. It was Ryujin's idea to come out here despite you convincing her to find a shop closer, but she insisted.

"Trust me, it'll be fun. We can look at furniture too."

Of course, she needed new furniture. It slowly dawns on you that you have very little time to spend with her in your home. Home.

You don't remember the last time you called your dorm a home. For all that you knew, it was a messy damp space that you couldn't wait to escape from, an absolute nightmare with it's cramped furniture. But it was cosy, something you couldn't deny now.

Maybe because you were with her. All her little habits that grew on you, her impeccable daily routine that had become a source of stability in your life, even her lesser known quirks such as keeping a picture of her two cats at home framed on her desk and kissing the before going to her classes in the morning.

You admired all of it, and it wouldn't have been the same if it were someone else. You never felt like this with your previous room mates. They were just people who lived in their own solitary spaces. But with Ryujin, somehow you were involved in most housework together. You felt involved, and somewhere more loved than in your own home.

Your family wasn't bad, at least on the surface. They never compromised when it came to your education or your standard of living. But somewhere between those lines were impossible expectations they wouldn't hold themselves to either. And you got tired of them easily. They hid toxicity behind "criticism", where criticism only meant negatives beyond your control. Your last year of high school, particularly faced extreme criticism, and you felt your confidence dipping. You managed though. You're not entirely sure how you coped, but with support from school, you managed a scholarship, a meagre one but still enough to get away from your family.

You hadn't seen them in three years.

Ryujin, on the other hand, had a lovely family, and you were, at times jealous of how perfect she seemed; how perfect everything around her seemed.

She seemed to have every aspect of her life in order. Whether it be top of the class majoring in Business, or being captain of the girl's football team, or the fact that she could spare three hours to stay with her paint brushes and that they would come out having the entire beauty of the universe encompassed in them. She could manage being both a homebody, while still being popular in school, she could be assertive when she needed to be without actually disturbing the fragile ego of most in her class.

She surpassed every definition of balance mentioned in the dictionary. She was living it, breathing it. Stability.

You admired her, a lot, but you couldn't stop this ridiculously miniscule base of malevolence in your heart. And every day you were scared it would become worse.

Especially now, when all she wanted was to spend precious time with you, constantly putting effort into your friendship whereas you were held back by bitter thoughts. And you hated yourself for it.

You force back your envy, distracting yourself by browsing through the shelves of cutlery displayed. You notice the absence of Ryujin's presence, and slowly find yourself lost in this maze of a shop. Maybe it was better that she wasn't in this aisle now, or else you wouldn't be able to face her with the guilt of having thought of her so poorly.

You find yourself interested in the array of pretty pink melamine plates stacked in front of you, in the stainless steel spoons with animal handles, and little napkin holders shaped like boats. You pick up different pans, weighing how heavy each is, looking to keep your brain unnecessarily busy. If you spend a second more comparing yourself with Ryujin, you knew you wouldn't be able to think of anything else for the entire day, or week.

You remember what your therapist told you, all the comfort and validation that you needed pouring in through words. You open up your notes, all the affirmations typed out one by one. You repeat them in your mind, with a new goal in sight.

You wouldn't let your insecurity ruin another good relationship. Especially not with Ryujin.

She emerges after some time, holding in her hand, a grey device, and a grin painted on her face. "I think this is the one. It's a cool toaster cum oven sort of thing, and it's cheap," she winks at you.

How was she so decisive? you think again. It had only taken her fifteen minutes. If it were you, you'd have taken forty minutes more.

"I trust your decision," you reply, giving her a soft smile. You notice her eyebrows raise a little. "You sure?," she asks. "You usually don't agree this fast. You have this terrible habit of sitting on decisions for ages." she rambles on.

You take a moment to process this. You knew it was true, and she probably didn't mean malice, but it was not something you'd accept easily.

Ryujin never had to think twice about what she wanted. She knew exactly what she wanted, and she always got it. Whereas every decision you seemed to make bore consequences you didn't want. And often, the times you didn't heavily weight them out was when things backfired. The last time being with the microwave oven.

It was the only way you knew to trust yourself.

So it irks you greatly when Ryujin calls it a "terrible habit". Because for you, it was a habit that gave you security. Certainty wasn't achievable, but you'd try as fucking close as you could get, and Shin Ryujin won't tell you otherwise.

She'd never understand how imperfect you were. She'd never understand the little complexities that hold you back. For the most part, she had life easy. What would she ever understand?

You ignore her comment, instead picking up a ceramic mug from the shelf, thumbing on the floral patterns glazed onto it.

Ryujin barely senses your predicament, instead grabbing onto the mug placed besides the one you hold onto. "These are pretty, it's like a cute matching set. We should get them," she winks.

The rest of the day follows with more furniture in your cart, and mostly unnecessary plushies plaguing your living room. New pillows, potted plants, wardrobe organisers, a work desk and the biggest Djungelskog bear lying near the couch.

It dawns on you the next morning, after waking up to the chaos, that she was shifting out in two weeks.

On the first of October.

All of a sudden she was busy, very busy, and the two of you barely met, with bigger gaps in your schedule. Part of it was because of Ryujin arranging her main furniture in her new house, and part of it was because you were busy with academics, only that it was voluntary this time. It just so happened that you needed a few more credits to retain your scholarship, the only thing weighing your new found freedom. Along with that, you busied yourself so that you didn't have to face Ryujin later at night.

You were scared. Other than the obvious rent that you'd have to pay by yourself, you also avoided other parts of this change that bothered you. Which was spending time with her. You were scared you'd miss her a bit too much.

Sure, you were friends who were only half an hour away, but now that her colourful room started fading into a bleak white, the emptiness of it reminded you of why you hated autumn. The fall orange left you feeling lonely, and like the very leaves that craved pigmentation, you craved more life. Regardless of the minimal time you spent with her in the evenings, she slowly integrated herself into your life in the smaller ways.

Now they weigh too much in your life for you to be able to cope without it. You ended up distancing yourself from her, in a pathetic attempt to cope with the anticipation of absence. Maybe you just needed more friends, the thought crossing your mind a lot more these days. But you had plenty of them at uni, most of who you loved. But none of them were Ryujin.

None of them cared for you as much as she did. None of them taught you how to care for yourself like she did. None of them held you in their arms throughout the night, until you felt rested and loved. Nobody inspired you as much as Ryujin did.

Maybe Ryujin wasn't just a friend, something you were scared to consider in the past few weeks. It was a feeling completely new. Other than a failed situation-ship in high school, you never considered the possibility of a relationship, much less exploring your sexuality.

It was an intimidating prospect that you hadn't considered. Something that initiated urgency more than curiosity. Unlike the diverse spectrum that your feelings for Shin Ryujin belonged to, your thoughts focused on just one. She was important in more ways than platonic, and the distance that was to be would be extremely difficult to cope with. The distance that you had created seemed silly, but at the same time there was nothing you could think to resolve the conflict. You were going against this wall you'd built for yourself, and the facade of distance only grew day by day. So much so that at one point, Ryujin stopped approaching you first.

In a way, you deserved it. For someone who had been so unreceptive to her life as a coping method, this is the least you deserved for being a little jerk. Why would someone pursue any relationship, even platonic if you'd put yourself back into the mega cage you thought you'd escaped from. Something you'd escaped from only temporarily in her presence. Something you're going back to by the next week when she's gone.

You suffer multiple sleepless nights, the mid terms only a catalyst to your loneliness, when all you remember is Ryujin and her quirks.

You do accept another roommate later on, a mutual contact in your friend group, someone who was introduced to you by Ryujin herself. She'd dropped in a small text at 8 in the morning, on the way to class, you'd assumed. All it did was talk about how a common friend, Yeji needed a room to stay.

You accepted it of course, because you didn't have to foot the entire month's bill but also because you thought having someone else would curb your loneliness. And this loneliness was stupid. Ryujin wasn't the only thing you had in your entire life, and she should've been inconsequential, the same way the daylight hours gradually decreased. But it isn't too hard to notice once the sun's gone down.

The new roommate was like a transition from summer to winter, but unlike Ryujin , who helped ease the transition between the seasons, this one only reminded you that it would be cold. She wasn't a bad roommate, no she was perfect, did the laundry on Wednesdays, did the evening dishes at 6 in the evening and gave you a lot of personal space. She was nice, but not like Ryujin.

You hated how you compared her to Ryujin, how you compared everything to her. "She isn't your entire world," you remind yourself. "Shin Ryujin was only temporary."

You'd decided that your feelings for her were only a means for you to be validated. That was all you'd craved from her, validation. That was all she'd given you, validation.

October 15th, you felt relieved. Your mid terms were over with and you had a little bit of free time. Were you going to spend it wisely? No. You were going to sit in bed all day, scrolling through Youtube, a luxury you'd afford yourself rarely in the last month. You went home early, to a somewhat excitable Yeji, another rare sight.

"What's up?" you ask her, noticing her vibrant demeanour.

"Nothing much, just excited because Ryujin's coming over today."

You're surprised to hear this, and a little disappointed that Ryujin never told you herself. Or maybe there was no reason to, it's not like you kept in touch with her.

"That's cool, are you guys ordering something? Or should I make food for you two?" you offer, realising the amount of free time you had.

"We'll just order pizza," she replies. She hesitates for sometime, as if she has something to say. "Y/n?" she calls out slowly.

"Hmm?" "...you're nothing like what Ryujin described you as."

You still in your spot.

"It's just that you're really kind you know. I thought you'd be more distant, and cold."

"Ryujin said that? About me?"

She nods her head.

Is that really how she saw you? Distant and cold? Sure you were closed off towards the end, but is that really who you were to her? After all the good memories? You weren't sure anymore, insecurity creeping inside you.

It hurt. Was it this easy for people to be unforgiving? But then again, you never apologised, so in a weird way what Yeji relayed sounded justified.

You offer her a stiff smile.

"I'll be in my room then, tell me if you need anything."

Dejected, you go back to your blank room, where even the orange of autumn feels comforting, something you hated previously. You stay inside the entire evening, occasional sounds of muffled laughter behind your walls being all that you focus on for the duration. Every time you heard her laugh loudly from behind the door, you wondered if she ever laughed like that in front of you. Did you ever make her feel happy? The same way she did to you?

You want to go out and say hi, but after what Yeji said, you stop yourself. She must hate you now, there was no other way.

It isn't later at night, after you're sure the laughter was no more, and only when the silence of the room becomes comforting, you step out to see a dim blue light in the darkness of the living room, Yeji working on the dining table. "Y/n, didn't come out to say hi to Ryujin?" she asks, with pity that sounds forced.

"Yeah, no I was just napping," you lie, "did anything fun happen?"

"Mhm, we were discussing Ryujin's blind date tomorrow with a senior from the engineering department. Apparently, he's handsome," she shrugs her shoulder.

"Ryujin likes boys?" you ask without realising.

"Hmm, I'm not sure actually."

A small part of you feels dejected as you get a glass of water, all while contemplating if you should have reached out.

"You like her don't you?" Yeji whispers, looking up from her laptop.

It's the second time you still in your spot. Yeji had brought up something you never thought was prominent.

"Your lights were on, I could tell from your slightly ajar door. You weren't sleeping were you?" she gives you a knowing smile.

"I'm not judging you- it's just that it's obvious that you miss her. It may or not may be romantic- but you do miss her don't you?". You don't know how to reply to her. You barely knew Yeji, but somehow she very accurately read your emotions.

As if she knows what you're thinking, she continues.

"You know, every time that I've tried bringing up Ryujin, you've always changed the conversation, instead isolating yourself in your room."

Looking back, it made sense. You didn't want to think about her anymore. Your meeting with Ryujin's was temporary and never mattered. It was almost crazy how dependent you were on her within just a few months.

" I realised that I don't know much about Ryujin, nor does she about me. Sure I know she loves mocha bread, she loves her big Ikea Djungelskog soft toy, that she's watched the perks of being a wallflower more times than she can count; but I don't think I could be truly vulnerable with her. I'm scared to be vulnerable with her."

Yeji sighs, almost disappointed. She went back to working, despite her twitching lips, like she had more to say.

That night, you reflect for longer. Why was it that you felt scared to lean on Ryujin? Technically you told her about troubles with academics, problems with some of your classmates- that is considered being vulnerable right? Then what was it that you wanted her to know, but you never wanted to admit? Was it your insecurities? Was it the thought she'd never understand it?

It was like your mind had accepted that you and Ryujin had come from two different worlds, and if you invited her into yours, she would run away, like your family. Despite you coming to terms with it, the distance with your family was a wound still fresh. And nothing would change, until you could put it behind you.

25th October, Yeji handed you an invite to one of her friend's Halloween parties.

After your confession, she'd been a little nicer; she was more active in initiating conversations, and you realised she was more extroverted than your first impression. Eventually, you did watch the Maze Runner with her again, and you appreciated how she gushed about Dylan O'Brien throughout it, dispelling any awkward moments.

"I designed this invitation by the way, cool isn't it?", she asks about the party invitation in your hand. It had black bat details engraved in a glossy reflective paper. "Please come, we've had a difficult week, one party won't hurt will it?" she states, the question more rhetorical.

You agree quietly, excitement bubbling in you.

Until it did hurt, a week later.

Barely five minutes after you enter the loud, congested apartment, with strangers in costumes, you felt a part of your heart drop. There was a tight feeling in your chest, something you were sure wasn't because of the new corset you wore. Because you felt comfortable seconds before you saw Ryujin with her hands wrapped around this guys neck, kissing him on the couch as if he were her entire life. At first, you weren't even sure it was her- her hair was shorter, dyed a platinum blonde. She wore a leather jacket and a white skater dress, dressed so differently than what you were used to seeing her in.

You weren't able to comprehend how good she looked in his arms, with all her attention focused on him, smiling. The same smile that you'd missed for a month. When she does look away from the vampire- you assumed was her boyfriend, her eyes scan the crowd and she almost looks bewildered. You were stood so motionless near the entrance from where you could see them, that even the crowd that pushed past you couldn't bring you to move. It was suffocating, and unconsciously you head for the exit, looking to get away.

But fate wouldn't be so kind would it? The universe wouldn't just let you be would it? "Are you leaving already y/n?" Yeji screams from across the room, which you were sure was audible to everyone. She finds her way to you, a smile on her face. "You just came in, why are you leaving? Cool outfit by the way."

"Thanks," you offer her a stiff smile, eyes going back to Ryujin, who because of Yeji, had finally found you.

Yeji, who just noticed the tension, holds your hand and pulls you towards Ryujin.

"Atleast say hi, y/n, it won't hurt."

Yeji's assurance of "it won't hurt" was what brought you here, it was indeed what hurt you. Her saying this now wasn't helping, and you scoff. It was almost like Yeji knew this was going to happen. It was like she knew how much it hurt you, and may even enjoy it.

"Why did you invite me Yeji? You knew about this didn't you? It hurts, I..I shouldn't have come." you spit out, trembling.

"Y/n, there's something you need to know."

"What? that she has a boyfriend?" you spat, annoyed by her deception.

Yeji sighs, holding onto your shoulders, somewhat urgent.

"No, it's something only Ryujin can tell you. Please, just talk to her. This once."

At this point, you couldn't trust anyone, neither Yeji, Ryujin, nor yourself. It was like you were at different crossroads- to run away, or to confront her again. She hadn't even done anything wrong, all she did was kiss a guy. She didn't owe you anything.

You choose to run away, until you notice Ryujin approaching you with her boyfriend. It's like she withheld any decision you make, with her forcing you into a circumstance you would not choose for yourself.

"Y/n?" she asks softly. Her otherwise comforting voice now made you uncomfortable, almost bringing you to tears by how much you missed it.

"It's been so long," she holds your hand gently.

Her hands felt colder than before, and before you could say anything, the tall, matching vampire spoke up.

"Hi y/n, I'm Jason, her boyfriend. I've heard a lot about you." he looks friendly, and he doesn't seem to hold any malice. But you still hated this guy.

"You have?" you ask saltily. "...good things I hope." you couldn't help but say drily, hands fiddling with the witch hat you'd worn.

"A moment please love," Ryujin signs to her boyfriend, who goes towards the bar with Yeji.

Ryujin takes your hand and drags you towards what you assume to be the bedroom, away from the crowd.

You enter the bedroom with her, with your head ringing because of the way she called him love. You remember how she'd called you love the day you'd tried baking, the day you'd fallen asleep in her arms. You thought the word "love" meant nothing, that it was an endearing term with no implications. But if that was the case- why did she address him as love?

Jealousy eventually overrode the confusion, and the hurt that stained you previously had multiplied. You couldn't feel more stressed, it was so much more than any calculus assignment you'd ever come across.

"Are you crying?" she eventually speaks, eyes concerned. You didn't even realise the visible tears falling down your cheek slowly, your mascara ruined in the reflection of the mirror behind her.

"What do you wanna talk about Ryujin?" you huff. "Y/n, do you need time to calm down? I don't think you're in the mood to talk."

"I'm fine. Just get to the point please." you say, barely concentrating on what was going on. She comes in to hug you, but you step back.

She looks upset by this, seemingly as confused as you. "I...I thought we were friends y/n," she whispers in the same tone she'd always used to comfort you. "We weren't this far apart were we? Why do you hate me?" she raises her voice in desperation.

This was an accusation you could not believe she had made, hate was too strong for what you felt for her.

"I don't hate you Ryujin." you speak, resigned. "Then why do you look so upset, why can't you even say hi?" she emphasises, her voice breaking in between.

"Because it hurts... I can't"

You fall against the bed post. Eyes finding the bear plushie you bought her. You slowly realise that this is her bedroom, and that you were in her new house- the apartment you'd never come to before. You were barely able to process all of this when she speaks up again.

"You can't what y/n? You can't accept the fact that you like me?" You look back at her, eyes widened, as though whatever little sanity you had remaining was destroyed like the branches of an autumn tree- fallen, and weak. It was almost humiliating.

"I don't like you Ryujin," you hide behind your words like a coward. "Don't lie to yourself y/n, is it that difficult to accept that you like me?"

You don't know where this was coming from. If she knew you liked her, couldn't she just let you down gently?

"What does it matter? You have a boyfriend. Even if I did like you; no even if I loved you, nothing would change." you say dejectedly. It must have been true, because there was silence that persisted for longer than you wished it would be.

"What if it did change? What if I said I liked you too? Would you believe me?" she asks quietly, reverting back to her calm persona as she takes a big breath. You scoff, noticing how different she had become in a month. The audacity she had to ask you if you believed her, right after making out with her boyfriend in front of everyone in the room disgusted you, something you don't think you'd ever be able to comprehend.

"Why would I believe you? I saw your boyfriend. Besides, if you did like me, you'd be honest with me. I think that's the least I'd expect from you, so don't play with my feelings; because unlike yours, I can say with conviction that mine are real."

You see her expression change, her eyes becoming teary.

She sits beside you, against the wooden footboard. "I can't be honest, because I'm scared. There's so many people watching me- so many people who my family knows. I barely had, or still have any privacy in my life. Do you know why my grandparents left me this apartment? Because they don't trust me." she pauses for a minute. Taking another deep breath, eyes now fixed on to the floor.

You don't know where she's going with this, but don't say anything because this may be the last time you'd get any closure.

"There was a girl I really liked in high school, but we could never be together, because my family refused to let me meet her. They pretend to be liberal in their thoughts- but they're as homophobic as they get. There's no way they'd understand. The only time I felt safe was in our dorm, because there was no one who would snitch on me, nobody who cared. It was utopia- where you were my solace, and I just basked in the temporary peace.

But when my grandparents asked about you, they'd worry I'd gotten too close to you, refusing to believe you could be just a friend. Two months after I shifted in to our dorm, they made preparations to isolate me in this house of theirs."

She couldn't continue, as tears you'd never seen from her before, collected as a tiny stream between the cracks of the tiles on the cold floor. You understood what she meant. In an evening's moment, you realised that she wasn't this perfect being that she always projected. Yes, she was amazing, but she had her own challenges, something you thought she'd never had. Unlike the two different worlds you thought you were in, your access into her world made you realise you were more similar than you could've imagine. All of a sudden you hated your past self for being so mean to her, for harbouring insecurities that in hindsight were not worth the pain.

"Jason, is my neighbourhood friend, and he's the one of the few people I can trust. He's pretending to be my boyfriend, so that if my family ever found out, they wouldn't doubt me." she explains, trying to resolve your distrust.

"I'm so sorry," you whisper, leaning your head against her shoulder, gently holding onto her hand."

The two of you sit their in silence, reflective, though relieved.

She gently kisses your forehead, arms wrapping around your waist.

"I missed you y/n. So much. But I'm also scared to go back to you, to our place. I don't know what we're going to do. I'm sorry too, for the situation I put you in. For the situation I've put both of us in."

You rub her arms gently,

"It's ok, we'll figure it out slowly. I'm sorry too . You were always there for me- and I, like the coward I am was scared of being attached to you, your generous love . I was also so insecure of how perfect you were- but now it's all so inconsequential."

To this Ryujin laughs, and she wipes her tears. "It's funny how both of our insecurities hurt us in the end. I promise, I wont' let it affect us in the future. I won't ever hurt you again y/n. I love you, so much."

"I love you too Ryujin."

You know that it's going to be a long road ahead of the two of you, but you'll be alright. You comb through her hair, leaning in to meet her lips. Her quivering lips are not soft as you expected, but slightly chapped, brushing against yours. She drags a cold finger down your spine, causing you to lose your breath. Her pulling you closer, slipping behind your corset, unzipping it. Your hands are tangled in her short locks, and you pull away in between to breathe.

With the kiss, and this new path, the autumn you hated so had come to an end. Autumn had become easier to think about, among the loneliness of the dry leaves and the warmth devoid in the air, you'd treasure the warmth that she provided. Shin Ryujin, unlike autumn wasn't temporary. Autumn will come and go, but Shin Ryujin would always stay, and you'd treasure her in every season. In the end, autumn didn't hate you as much you did, because despite everything, autumn gifted you Shin Ryujin.

Am I actually posting an autumn fic when its almost summer? Yes, yes I am. This is long overdue and idk why it took me this long to finish it ahhhh.

I appreciate any feedback, feel free to interact with this post!

-Macaroon

[authorforrosie]

Can you do ryujin being mad at you

Title: Ryujin being mad at you.

Pairing: Ryujin x you. [GxG]

Warning: Yelling.

Words: 695.

Disclaimer: I know this is rushed but I hope you love it. I can mostly imagine Ryujin getting mad when someone eats the last piece of her favorite food.

Ryujin scoffed when she saw the last piece of her favorite food being gone. After a hard day of dance practice for their new upcoming comeback. She slammed the door of the poor fridge shut. So hard that you and her bandmates flinched in fear. Being mad Ryujin means mad cat.

„WHO ATE MY LAST PIECE OF MY FAVORITE FOOD...?!" Yelled Ryujin with madness in her voice. Her bandmates looked into her eyes with a scared expression on their face.

Ryujin knew it couldn't be her bandmates since they have been in hard dance practice all day with her. It could only be you in her opinion. You've been home a little bit longer than her and her bandmates.

„I did." Whispered you with a scared expression on your face. Your bottom lip trembled with fear.

You put your shaking hands in the air in surrender. Tears rolled down your cheeks. You swear you are the most scared of an mad or angry Ryujin. Because she looked so serious and attractive like the most of time.

„I HAVE LEFT THE LAST PIECE OF MY FAVORITE FOOD TO EAT IT LATER. WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK ME IF YOU CAN EAT A LITTLE BIT OF IT. UGH." Yelled Ryujin with madness in her voice.

„I mean your name didn't stand there." Mumbled you with savage in your voice. Her members tried to hold back their loud giggles at your sentences.

Yuna and Lia was the first ones to laugh very loud since they couldn't hold it back anymore. Yeji and Chaeryeong followed.

„SO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO PUT MY NAME ON THERE NOW FOR YOU NOT TO EAT MY FOOD...?" Yelled Ryujin with more madness in her voice. Her arm muscles flexed when she moved it to calm down.

You giggled with a slight feared expression on your face. Yuna sat besides you with a Capri Sun in her hand.

„I MEAN WHY NOT. IT WOULD SAVE YOUR FOOD AND WE WOULD KNOW WHAT WE CAN EAT." Mocked Yuna Ryujin's yelling with sarcasm in her voice.

You licked your lips when you saw her flexed muscles. Ryujin walked away for a few minutes to calm down from the madness. You and her bandmates could almost literally but not really see steam coming from her ear. Her face red in madness the whole time.

Meanwhile you sat with her bandmates pouting with puppy dog eyes. You looked like a lost kitten according to Yeji. She always claims that you have a cat personality.

When Ryujin came back calmed down. She had her attractive hands in the pockets of her pants. She squirmed around with a nervous expression on her face. She frowned when she saw the pout on your lips. Ryujin immediately walked towards you.

„I am sorry for getting mad at you kitten. Please forgive me." State Ryujin with sympathy in her voice.

You pouted and made grabby hands. Ryujin knew what you wanted so she picked you up.

„I forgive you if you let me buy your favorite food for you and if you make it up to me by cuddles." Asked you with happiness in your voice. Ryujin held you in her arms with a happy expression on her face.

Ryujin nuzzled her face in your pikachu shirt covered chest. She kissed your arm. She giggled since she knew how much you love to cuddle with Ryujin. It made her heart fluttering.

„That sounds like a very wonderful plan. Kitten. Let's do it." Answered Ryujin with happiness in her voice.

Lia gave Ryujin the keys to her car with a excited expression on her face. Ryujin carried you away from her bandmates to carry you towards the car.

Ryujin kissed your lips for a few pecks when she put the seatbelt on for you. You both couldn't wait to drive towards the mall to buy her favorite food and a few snacks for the make up cuddles later on. Afterward she held you into her arms with a happy expression on her face. She attacked your face with kisses a few times. You watched Snowdrop together with a blanket on top of you both.

[skzfairies]

hi, can i request hcs about how itzy members would act when they're jealous?

ITZY WHEN THEY ARE JEALOUS

ofc! thank you sm for requesting <3

warnings: mentions insecurities, slight possessiveness, one curse word, not proof read

YEJI.

when she’s jealous — she is so much more affectionate than normal. she won’t tell you that she’s jealous — but when you see her pouting when you talk to someone who clearly wants your number, you know that she’s jealous. and when you realize, you immediately turn her attention back to her and tease her for being jealous. she’ll never admit that she was jealous...but all of the feelings wash away when she realizes how well you know her, and how quick you were to drop everything just to reassure her that you don’t want to see anyone else but her. will continue to be attached to you by the hip for the rest of the day — but you don’t mind because she has the adorable grin on her face, one that shows that she knows she is loved dearly <3

LIA.

lia would try to pretend that it doesn’t bother her...but you know her like the back of your hand. you can’t get her to admit that she’s jealous until you two are in bed and getting ready to fall asleep...and she can’t help but feel a bit insecure when she finally reveals why she was upset throughout the day. she knows that you love her — but she can’t help but get lost in her thoughts. you reassure that she’s the only one that you want, giving her lots and lots of kisses, and you make sure to give her all the love you can before you go into dream land. when she wakes up to breakfast in bed and you leaving soft kisses on her cheeks and forehead, she can’t help but wonder why she was even jealous in the first place — because it’s clear that you love her with all of your heart.

RYUJIN.

oh ryujin gets jealous jealous. she gets so possessive over you...if someone was hitting on you and you were just staring at them, she would IMMEDIATELY be at your side and making it painfully obvious that you were taken. rubbing her fingers up and down you side, leaving quick kisses to your checks, pointed glare at whoever was flirting with you that basically translates into ‘fuck off’. she would probably get jealous the fastest out of the members — just because she wants everyone to know that you are hers, and it should be a crime to not know that you are hers and she is yours. will for sure leave hickeys on your neck that night just to prove a point. i’m sure she gifted you a necklace with her name or her initials on it — and she even bought one with your name or initials for herself! she just loves you so much...and she still can’t believe she’s with the person of her dreams, so whenever she gets the chance to talk about you — she’s going to talk about you <3

CHAERYEONG.

chae wouldn’t be as bold as ryujin — but she would for sure be more affectionate after she gets jealous. holding your hand and bringing you closer to her side — giving the person you were talking to a nasty glare. the person eventually walks away after chaeryeong practically burned holes through their skin with her eyes — and you always know it’s because she was jealous.

“you scared them off! they were just complimenting me on my outfit...” you whined, attempting to hold in your giggles when chaeryeong widened her eyes and gasped at you, shaking her head in denial.

“they were into you! no one else is allowed to flirt with you...only me.” chaeryeong whined, frowning when she saw you giggle at her antics. “i’m being serious! i’m the only person you gets to tell you you look incredibly beautiful a thousand times.” chae continued to whine, grabbing your hand and swinging it back and forth, giving you an adorable pout.

“i’ll only accept compliments from you, love bug. no need to worry.” you teased, placing a quick kiss to chaeryeong’s cheek, smiling fondly as you watched her face immediately light up. “you are the only one i want.” you promised, intertwining your pinky with her own, cooing when you saw her blush, because at the end of the day — chaeryeong just wanted to be your baby...and she doesn’t want anyone else to receive the affection that’s reserved for her only.

YUNA.

she tries to give you the silent treatment — but after you ask her what’s wrong three times in a row, she’s breaking. immediately whines about how she was jealous that you were giving someone more attention than her — when she tried so many times to put your eyes on her. pouts even if you giggle at her — childishly crossing her arms and turning away. she won’t forgive you until you give her a big hug and kiss her until she’s giggling and pushing you away, and after that everything is okay! immediately snuggles into your side and tells you how much she loves you...basking in all of the attention that she missed out on earlier in the day. make sure you give her lots and lots of hugs, and tell her how you only have eyes for her...she just wants all your love!

[kjmsupremacist]

pink (like the holes in your heart) (ryujin/yeji)

Yeji leads a completely ordinary life—she works in a cafe by day, and dances at a club by night. She has friends, and her life is good. For the most part, she’s content. But one night, she meets a hot older woman, and opens a new world full of new dangers and new delights.

Chapter 2   |   prev   next   mlist

Characters: Yeji, Ryujin, the rest of itzy

Genre: romance, fluff, angst, smut, age gap, stripper!au

Pairing: Ryujin/Yeji

Warnings: AGE GAP (older ryujin, younger yeji), d/s themes, mommy kink, bdsm and general rough treatment, alcohol mentions, sex work (nothing wild)

Rating: Explicit

Length: 9.9k

I put this disclaimer on all my age gaps - I don’t condone large age gaps in real life as these relationships tend to have an imbalanced power dynamic. However, because this is fiction, I can warp the world to my liking and guarantee everything is the way I want. Also, it’s fiction, and we’re all just here to have fun. If you don’t think you’re going to have fun, you can leave the way you came. I promise it’ll be fine.

listen to the official playlist here!

The haze lasts through the following morning, but dissipates by the afternoon. Yeji takes Yuna and Chaeryeong out to a fancy dinner, paying with a couple of the hundred dollar bills that the woman tipped her with. They all giggle when the waiter’s eyes nearly pop out of his head at the sight of them.

The next afternoon sees Yeji and Yuna at their cafe, Yuna on the register and Yeji at the bar making drinks. It’s the middle of the week, so not horribly busy, which means they can gossip between waves of customers. Yuna tells her about the professor who’s being investigated for a multitude of Title IX violations, each worse than the last. Yeji makes faces and offers snide commentary as she cleans their tools off.

They’re getting near the end of their shift when the bell on the door rings. Yeji doesn’t look up at first, intent on getting a stain out of a mug.

“Welcome in, how can I help you today?” Yuna chirps.

“Could I get a medium latte, please? To go.” The voice is familiar, and Yeji snaps her head up.

It’s the woman from that night. She’s in professional wear this time, a stylish grey pantsuit with a crisp white button-down underneath. She has a sleek black shoulder bag and a silver watch; it flashes in the light as she taps her card to the reader. Yeji didn’t even realize she’d completed the transaction. Her ears are full of ringing.

Yeji ducks her head, heart racing, accepting the cup from Yuna and getting started on the espresso shots. Maybe she doesn’t recognize me, Yeji thinks wildly. I’ll just pretend I don’t know her. It was dark in the club, anyway, and I was wearing lots of makeup. 

And not much of anything else, a different voice in her head supplies unhelpfully. 

She turns the cup over in her hands. Ryujin. Her name is Ryujin. It sticks in Yeji’s brain without her even trying, but she repeats it anyway. Ryujin. She steams the milk, taps the pitcher on the counter, then pours it carefully into the cup. She considers a heart for the latte art, but decides that’s a little too forward and goes with a swan instead. 

“Latte for Ryujin,” Yeji calls, setting the drink on the pickup counter and hoping her voice doesn’t shake.

Ryujin strolls up, and it takes Yeji one look to know she’s completely busted. She’s smirking, and her gaze pins Yeji to the spot. She reaches for her drink but doesn’t pick it up. “Hi,” she says softly.

“Hi,” Yeji manages.

“Now the club I could understand, but what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a cafe?” Ryujin picks up the latte, studying the art; Yeji thinks she sees amusement flash across her face. “You’re far too talented to spend your life making coffee.” She takes a sip and nods. “As good as your coffee is.” 

Yeji doesn’t know what to say. Thank you? Or sorry my job isn’t prestigious enough for you, some of us are poor? “We really shouldn’t be talking to each other,” she says instead. “Privacy is important.”

“Indeed.” Ryujin reaches into her pocket and produces a business card. “Well, since I know about your day job, it’s only fair that you know about mine.” She slides it across the counter to Yeji. “Mutually assured destruction, hm?”

Yeji takes it, unsure. “You really want to give this to me?”

“You don’t seem malicious,” Ryujin says with a smile. “Working tonight?”

“Ah, no,” Yeji says, truthfully. “Later this week, though.”

“Then I’ll see you around.” Ryujin’s eyes linger on her; there’s nothing too intense about it, but Yeji gets the distinct feeling that she’s being carefully observed. “Yeji.”

And with that, she’s gone, leaving behind the faint scent of cologne.

Yeji looks down at the business card. It’s a matte black with gold lettering. Shin Ryujin. A & R Director. All In Entertainment. There’s an address, an email, and a list of phone numbers. Yeji zeroes in on the one labeled “c.” Is this her way of giving me her number?

“Was that her?” Yuna’s speaking just above a whisper, even though they’re alone in the shop. 

“Hm?” Yeji looks up and sees Yuna looking back at her intently.

“Your sugar mommy from the club,” Yuna says, and Yeji groans.

“She’s not my—yes, that was the woman from a couple days ago.” She holds up the business card. “She gave me this.”

“Ooh, lemme see!”

“No.” Yeji pockets it. “It would be bad practice to give out my client’s personal information.”

“You’re no fun,” Yuna complains.

“I don’t want to get fired,” Yeji says, giving her an exasperated look.

“I know.” Yuna blinks. “So are you gonna call her?”

“What, on her work cell? Or the front desk?” Yeji shakes her head, cringing at the thought. “What would I even say? No, if she wants to see me again, she can come back to the club. She knows where to find me.”

* * *

Yeji heads to Chaeryeong’s place for dinner that night. She decides to leave the business card at home—what she said to Yuna was true, and it should go double for someone else who works at Crown, even if that someone is her best friend.

“You said you had news,” Chaeryeong says when she opens the door.

“Hello to you too,” Yeji says, slipping inside.

“Yes, hello.” To her credit, Chaeryeong does give her a hug and usher her into her living room. “Sorry, I’m just nosy! Sit. Do you want something to drink?”

“I’ll drink after I eat,” Yeji says, settling on the couch and opening a pair of chopsticks.

Chaeryeong sits too, untying the takeout bags. “Okay, so what happened?”

“The woman from the other night,” Yeji says. “She stopped by the cafe.”

Chaeryeong freezes. “What the fuck? How did she know you were there?”

“I don’t think she did,” Yeji defends. “We are near the business district, I think she just popped by for a coffee. It sounded like she’d been there before, she knew exactly what she was ordering.”

“Yeah, and you’ve been working there for how long?” Chaeryeong argues. “You’ve never seen her before.”

“I usually don’t work afternoons,” Yeji points out, which is true. “Maybe it’s her afternoon stop.”

“Right.” Chaeryeong sounds entirely unconvinced. “So what did she say?”

“Something about how my talent is wasted in a cafe,” Yeji begins. Chaeryeong makes a noise of protest. “No, I know. I don’t think she meant it to be so condescending, though.”

“Why are you giving her so much benefit of the doubt?” Chaeryeong asks. “Just because she’s hot? You don’t even like women.”

Yeji chews on her lower lip. “I dunno, maybe I do,” she says slowly. Chaeryeong raises her eyebrows. “The dance I gave her—there was something there! I’m usually really prudent with my customers, you know that. But…” She shakes her head. “There was something about her. I think… I’d like to chase that, find out what it was, exactly.”

Chaeryeong’s eyes soften. “That’s fair,” she agrees.

“Anyway,” Yeji says, deciding not to have a sexuality crisis in Chaeryeong’s living room, “she gave me her business card, saying, like, if she knows my day job then it’s only fair I know hers so we both have blackmail material?”

“Where does she work?” Chaeryeong asks immediately.

“You know I can’t tell you that,” Yeji replies. “Crown’s all about discretion. Mom would have kittens.”

“I know, but just this once?” Chaeryeong pouts at her, but Yeji knows she’s joking.

“No,” Yeji says, swatting her anyway. “What I will tell you is that she’s a director at some big, fancy company.”

“You better be careful,” Chaeryeong says, sobering and pointing her chopsticks at her. “Those exec types are not to be messed with.”

“I’m not messing! I told her I was working later this week, and she said she’d see me around. That’s all.” Yeji shoves a piece of broccoli into her mouth decisively.

“Well,” Chaeryeong says, “just remember that it’s best to milk her of all the money you can get, and then leave it at that. Don’t get involved, and definitely don’t let her do you any favors. Because then you’ll belong to her, and that’s too dangerous.”

“I just don’t think she’s like that,” Yeji says.

“Well, there has to be something in it for her,” Chaeryeong points out. “For her to be giving you this kind of attention.”

Yeji rolls her eyes. “Yeah, that I’m young and hot, duh.”

Chaeryeong shoves her, and Yeji laughs. 

Yeji knows Chaeryeong’s right, but she can’t help but think about Ryujin throughout the week. She likes the way she feels when Ryujin’s eyes are on her. It’s scary, but it’s also exhilarating, and Yeji doesn’t know what to do with that. 

Thursday and Friday pass. Yeji works a full shift both nights, and though she keeps an eye out, she doesn’t catch a single glimpse of Ryujin. Either she’s really good at hiding, or she’s just busy. Yeji has a feeling it’s the latter—it might be self-centered of her, but she has to imagine that if Ryujin were there, she would seek Yeji out. Still, she can’t help but feel a little disappointed. She doesn’t know what to do with that, either.

Saturday night comes, and Yeji has another solo dance scheduled. She leafs through her wardrobe carefully. Her hope that Ryujin will be there has started to dwindle, but she wants to look extra nice just in case. After a lot of contemplating, she settles on a gold set with black detailing—a pretty bra with black lacing up the center and the straps, and a matching thong that has cutouts in the waistband. The bottom half of the waistband she lets settle naturally; the elastic strings on the top she hooks on her waist above her hip bones. She twists in the mirror, adds a lacy black thigh garter with some gold jewelry, and plucks up a pair of flashy gold pumps. If Ryujin is there tonight, she won’t be able to miss her. 

“Oh wow, Lucy,” a girl named Winter gushes when Yeji steps out of her cargo pants backstage. “I love that set! It’s so pretty on you.”

“Thank you,” Yeji replies, smoothing the straps of the waistband. “I wanted to stand out tonight.”

“You look like C-3PO,” Chaeryeong says, but she bends down to kiss the top of Yeji’s head, grinning. “Kidding. I love the way that bra makes your tits look. Everybody’s gonna want you.”

“You think?” Yeji asks.

“Yes,” Chaeryeong says quietly. “Even her, if she ever shows up.”

“It’s not for her,” Yeji lies. “It’s for me.”

“Okay,” Chaeryeong says mildly.

Yeji finishes getting ready early, says hi to Mom, and then goes to wait in the wings so she can watch the other girls perform. She smiles, watching Karina and Winter’s duet. Maybe she and Chaeryeong should do something like that; though Yeji can’t see the audience, she hears cheers go up. They seem quite popular. She files it away to pitch to Chaeryeong later. 

Karina and Winter are waving to the crowd. Yeji stands, whispering, “Great job!” when they pass her in the wings. Karina squeezes her arm and mouths thank you in response.

The lights change, and Yeji straightens her back and strolls out onto the stage, offering the crowd a smirk and a wave, taking her position in the center of the stage. It’s a choreography she’s practiced for a while, so it comes easily, her limbs already familiar with the moves. 

She tells herself not to search through the audience, but she finds her eyes flitting from face to face as she dances. There’s something to be said for eye contact—it makes the dance feel more personal—but that’s not Yeji’s end goal.

And then she lands on a familiar face, and nearly freezes. 

It’s Ryujin, alone in the crowd. She’s wearing an oversized black suit jacket and what looks like a cropped leather tank top. Her nails are a glossy black; Yeji can see them against the vibrant blue of the drink she’s holding in one hand. Their eyes meet, and Ryujin raises the martini glass to her lips, holding Yeji’s gaze over the rim.

Yeji tears her eyes away, refocusing on her performance, but it would be a lie to say she doesn’t think of Ryujin with every move she makes. Yes, she’s in front of an audience, but this dance has become for Ryujin, and Ryujin alone. She knows Ryujin knows it, can feel her eyes following her even though she doesn’t look back once.

At last, her song is over. She blows a few kisses and hurries backstage to do a couple of touch-ups. Chaeryeong is there, fighting with one of the straps on her bra.

“Lemme help,” Yeji says, coming up behind her. She adjusts it carefully, then looks up over Chaeryeong’s shoulder and catches her eye in the mirror. “She’s here,” she says softly. “She saw me.”

Chaeryeong smiles, turning around and brushing a strand of Yeji’s hair out of her face. “Good. Go get the fattest paycheck of your life,” she says.

Yeji swallows. “What if I don’t want her to pay me?” she whispers. “What if I just want her?” 

Chaeryeong sighs, but she doesn’t lose her smile. “Then go get her,” she says softly. Yeji blinks in surprise. “Look,” she says. “I’m not saying it’s smart. But this is bigger than money, and bigger than her. You think you like her? You think you can learn something about yourself in the process?” Yeji nods. “Then just be safe. That’s all I can ask.” She squeezes Yeji’s hand.

Yeji squeezes back. “Thanks,” she manages. 

“You look hot,” Chaeryeong continues. “She’ll be stupid to say no.” She nudges Yeji. “Go,” she says. “I need to fix my makeup.”

“Okay.” Yeji lets go of her hand and walks out the door and onto the floor. She weaves between people, nodding hello to a few regulars, but not pausing as she heads to where she saw Ryujin when she was onstage. 

She’s still there, waiting for her. Her black slacks are carefully tailored; they fit perfectly around her waist, and Yeji tries not to stare at the curve of her hips, her thighs. Ryujin smiles when she sees her, purple lipstick in stark contrast against her perfect white teeth, and everything around Yeji seems to fall away. Even the music seems faint. All Yeji can hear is the pounding of her heart. The lights strobe overhead, and Yeji has to watch Ryujin’s mouth to make out what she says.

“Hey, babygirl.”

Yeji tries not to melt. She gets closer, so they can actually hear each other, and then says, “Where’s your girlfriend? Or did you not bring her this time?”

Ryujin blinks, startled, but then understanding dawns and she laughs. “Getting jealous already?” she teases. “But all I did was give you my number.”

“You gave me your business card,” Yeji retorts. “What was I supposed to do, call and leave a message with your secretary as ‘Lucy from the club’?”

Ryujin laughs again. “I guess that’s fair,” she says. “No, the woman with me last time isn’t my girlfriend. She’s a good friend of mine, that’s all.”

“Noted,” Yeji says, somewhat placated.

“I meant what I said, though,” Ryujin continues. “Your talent is wasted at that cafe. And—it’s wasted here.”

Yeji bristles. The coffee shop is one thing—making lattes has nothing to do with dancing. Her job here, though, is another matter. “Being a stripper is a perfectly valid profession, and the only reason society considers it indecent is because of puritanical culture and sexism, and it’s really rich of you to look down on my job when you’re literally a customer h—”

 “That’s not what I meant,” Ryujin cuts in gently. “I meant you could go professional. Today. If you wanted. You’re not just good at shaking your ass, you can actually, really dance. You know what I do for a living. I would know.” Yeji quiets, surprised. “I have a great deal of respect for dancers and sex workers, but it’s just a different kind of work. And you have the skill to be a performer on an international stage. You’re right, it would be hypocritical of me to have something against your job here. But I don’t.”

Yeji feels clumsy as she tries to find the words to respond. “Oh. Thank you, then. But…” She thinks about all her dance lessons as a kid, all her big dreams, her crushed hopes. She’d wanted to be a singer once upon a time, hadn’t she? And she’d failed. “If I was that good, I would already have a job somewhere else,” she says. “And besides, I have friends here now. And the money’s good. I don’t want to abandon this.”

Ryujin nods. “I can understand that,” she agrees. “Then—do you have time for another dance? For me?”

Yeji presses her lips together. Then go get her, Chaeryeong’s voice echoes in her brain. Yeji wants more. Yeji wants her. It feels wrong for Ryujin to pay her for a dance when they could be doing something else instead. 

She shakes her head, looking up at Ryujin, and sees disappointment flicker across her face. “I don’t want to dance for you,” she says. “I think I want—I want something else.” The disappointment clears, replaced by sharp interest. “And I don’t want you to pay me for it. Be-because I want it.”

Ryujin’s lips stretch into a lazy smile. Yeji almost feels like a mouse in the jaws of a cat—caught, death imminent and inevitable. But where there should be fear, there’s something else. Oh. Desire.

“I see,” Ryujin says slowly. “That sounds good, too.”

“Can you wait until the end of my shift?” Yeji asks, feeling a little stupid. “It’ll be around three, I know it’s late.”

“Not a problem, baby,” Ryujin says, and Yeji has to suppress a shiver. “It’s a Saturday, I can stay up late.” She turns, points at a booth near the bar. “Make lots of money, okay? I’ll be right there, watching you. Come get me when you’re done.”

“Okay,” Yeji agrees dizzily. 

The rest of the night passes slow and excruciating. Yeji tries to keep her focus, but she knows her customers can tell she’s a little distracted. She feels Ryujin’s eyes on her wherever she goes, can picture her expression even when she’s not looking—eyes half-lidded, but gaze clear and full of intent. Whenever she checks to see if Ryujin really is still there, she finds her staring back, same as always. 

Finally, Yeji’s shift ends and she waves to Ryujin to let her know she’ll be out in a minute. Ryujin nods, and Yeji ducks into the dressing room. The club stays open until five on the weekends, but Yeji rarely works the latest shift—Mom doesn’t like the younger girls to be out super late. 

Chaeryeong’s taking her makeup off the mirror, and her eyes snap to Yeji as soon as she enters.

“I think I’m going home with her,” Yeji whispers when she sits down.

“Keep your location on,” Chaeryeong replies. “Women can be murderers too.”

“That’s it? You’re not going to tell me not to?” Yeji asks as she unclasps her bra. “Thank god. I forgot how itchy the glitter is.” She puts on a simple, comfy bra instead. Ryujin’s already seen her dressed up. She doesn’t need to keep the lingerie. 

“I know there’s no stopping you,” Chaeryeong says. “And if something happens, I’ll just ask Yuna for the CCTV footage from the cafe.”

“You listen to too much true crime,” Yeji replies, stepping into a clean pair of plain cotton undies and then shimmying her cargo pants up. “I’ll be fine. I won’t get murdered. I promise.”

“You better not.” Chaeryeong waits for Yeji to finish pulling her shirt on, then reaches out for a hug. “Text me when you get there, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Yeji salutes, then zips up her bag and slings it over her shoulder, bending to adjust her shoes. “Okay, I’m off. Have a good night. Get home safe.”

“Thank you,” Chaeryeong says.

Yeji stops by Mom’s office to punch out and hear her total. Less than usual for a Saturday night, but Yeji’s about to go meet the reason why, so she thanks Mom with a smile and a wave, and heads back out to the bar.

Ryujin is exactly where she left her, and she stands when she sees her approaching, tapping away at her phone. She looks up when Yeji reaches her table. “Ordered us an Uber,” she says. “All set?”

Yeji nods. “I think so.”

“Then c’mon. It’ll be here in a few minutes.” Ryujin sets down a few bills next to her empty glass and leads them to the door. 

It’s a little chilly out, but not unbearable, so Yeji doesn’t bother trying to find her jacket. Ryujin takes them to the curb, leaning up against a signpost. She seems content with not talking, staring out at the street. Yeji follows her gaze and sees nothing in particular—just neon lights and the occasional car. It’s late, nearing four at this point, and the city is quieting.

“I have a confession,” Yeji blurts.

“Yeah?” Ryujin gazes back at her, calm and a little amused.

“You’re going to be the first woman I’ve ever been with,” Yeji says, heart hammering. “I mean, you’re the first woman I’ve ever been interested in.”

Ryujin smiles. “I could tell,” she says gently. “I don’t mind. I don’t care about your history, as long as you’re sure you’re interested in me.”

Yeji nods emphatically. It’s confusing, and she can unpack what it all means and figure out exactly how she feels later, but what is crystal clear in her head is that she likes Ryujin. A lot. “I’m sure,” she says.

“That’s good, then.” Ryujin’s phone buzzes in her hand, and she peels herself off the pole. A sleek black car pulls up to the curb. “This is us.”

Yeji tries her hardest not to look surprised. The driver gets out and opens the door for them, taking Yeji’s bag and placing it in the trunk. It must be the luxury service, Yeji thinks to herself as she ducks into the car. She’d heard of it, but considering she can barely afford a regular Uber, she doesn’t even know the name. She glances sideways at Ryujin, who’s clicking her seatbelt into place. She knew she was rich, but somehow it hadn’t really hit her until right now. I wonder what her place looks like.

“Are you hungry?” Ryujin asks softly once they pull away and head down the street.

“A little,” Yeji admits. 

“Good, me too,” Ryujin replies. “I have some leftovers we can heat up when we get home.”

“Sounds good,” Yeji agrees. When we get home. Suddenly, Yeji’s life seems small and lonely. Imagine if she had someone she could come home to every night after work! Sure, she has her friends, but they’re all their own people, and though they love each other very much, and spend what is probably an inordinate amount of time together, there’s still plenty of time leftover where it’s just Yeji, by herself.

And it’s not that she can’t stand her own company. She doesn’t mind being alone; solitude is good, necessary. But… She watches Ryujin out of the corner of her eye. The idea that tomorrow, and for many, many more days of her life, she’ll be going back to her empty apartment feels a little miserable. 

But that’s not tonight. Yeji gives herself a little shake. Tonight she has an entirely separate set of problems to worry about, and they start and end with the woman sitting next to her. Though Ryujin told her not to worry, Yeji can’t help but be a little anxious. She’s not a virgin, but sex with a woman has to be different, right? She’d never really considered it before, so she’d never even thought about what the rules were, what she needed to keep in mind, what she didn’t need to worry about.

It’s almost like Ryujin can feel her building herself up into a panic. She reaches out and places a hand on Yeji’s knee, rubbing her thumb back and forth, gentle and comforting. Yeji looks up at her, and Ryujin smiles. It’s okay, baby, she mouths, and Yeji finds herself relaxing into the seat.

Ryujin keeps her hand on Yeji’s knee until the car rolls to a stop outside a very tall and very fancy-looking apartment building. They step out of the car, retrieve Yeji’s bag, thank the driver. Ryujin offers Yeji her arm again, and Yeji takes it, feeling a thrill of excitement run through her whole body. 

They head into the elevator, and Ryujin punches the 13 button. “You’re not superstitious, are you?” she asks, grinning at Yeji.

Yeji giggles and shakes her head. “Not at all.”

“I always thought it was so silly, skipping certain numbers and pretending that does anything,” Ryujin says, still grinning. “I mean, you skip thirteen and go straight to fourteen, there’s still a thirteenth floor, it just has a different name. It bothered me a lot as a kid because it didn’t make any sense.” She shrugs one shoulder. “Though I suppose I’ve always been one for staring a problem right in the teeth instead of dressing it up.”

Yeji smiles. “I’m the same way,” she agrees. The elevator dings and the doors slide open. “But I think there’s room for harmless make-believe. Skipping the thirteenth floor is harmless, right?”

Ryujin nods as she leads Yeji down the hall to the only door on this side of the building, keys jingling in her hand. “That’s true, too.” She pushes the door open and enters, holding it for Yeji. “Shoes off, if you would.”

Yeji is already bending down to unzip her boots, and makes a face. “Please, I’m not an animal,” she says, and Ryujin laughs. Yeji savors the sound. It’s sweet and melodic and surprisingly bright. “At least, not about things like this.”

Ryujin laughs again as she closes the door, locking it and toeing her white sneakers off, nudging them into line against the wall. “Good,” she says simply. “Here, put your bag by the stairs, we can take it up later.”

Yeji does as she’s told and then follows Ryujin around the corner and into her kitchen. Ryujin turns on some lights and then pulls open her fridge. “We can heat up some tteokbokki, if that’s ok?”

“Yes please,” Yeji says, hovering by the counter. 

Ryujin sets a container on the counter and then sticks her head back in the fridge. “Anything to drink?”

“Just water, please,” Yeji replies.

Ryujin emerges with a yuja tea bottle, grinning. “So polite,” she teases. She uncovers the container and sticks it in the microwave, then gets a glass and fills it with water for Yeji, strolling up and handing it to her. “Cheers,” she says, clinking her unopened bottle of tea against the glass.

“Cheers,” Yeji giggles back, charmed, and takes a sip.

Ryujin sets her bottle down, and then shrugs off her suit jacket, draping it over the back of one of the chairs at the breakfast bar. She holds out her hand. “Dance with me.”

Yeji sets her glass down too, a little flustered but pleased, accepting Ryujin’s hand and letting her pull her closer. Ryujin wraps her other arm around her waist, bracing her hand against the small of Yeji’s back, and Yeji lets her other hand settle on Ryujin’s shoulder. Ryujin leads them in a little two-step sway around the kitchen, smiling at Yeji, and Yeji finds herself grinning back, unable to school her expression at all. 

“Ready, and twirl,” Ryujin says, extending her arm. Yeji laughs, twirling a little clumsily. Ryujin dips her, and then brings her back up, much closer than before. “You’re a natural,” she says, and Yeji giggles again, breathless.

“Mm, it’s almost like I dance for a living,” she says.

Ryujin’s smile grows wider. “Hm,” she hums in agreement. “Good thing, too. Or we would’ve never met.”

Yeji’s heart rate jumps. “Yeah,” she replies. “Good thing.”

Ryujin tilts her head, still swaying them. “I wanted to kiss you that night. Last week. You’re so pretty, baby.”

“You could kiss me now,” Yeji blurts.

“Oh, could I?” Ryujin’s tone is teasing and playful; she leans closer still. 

Yeji’s pretty sure she’s shaking, but she holds her ground. “Mm-hm,” she says, and Ryujin leans in and kisses her.

Her lips are soft and warm against Yeji’s. She’s gentle but firm, and Yeji kisses back almost hungrily, pressing closer. Heat floods her whole body, and any reservations she might have had dissipate instantly. Yeji wants. She’s never wanted like this before, and she’s dizzy with it now, head spinning—

And then the microwave beeps, and she almost screams. Ryujin pulls away, laughing. Her lipstick is just a little messy, but it almost makes her more beautiful. Yeji gasps softly, trying to slow her heart, trying to come back down to earth. 

“That scared me so bad,” she admits, and Ryujin laughs even harder as she opens the microwave and extracts the leftovers. 

“Sorry,” she says, setting the container now and kissing Yeji’s temple before going to find some chopsticks. “Sit, baby.”

Yeji sits, accepting the chopsticks that Ryujin passes to her and picking up a rice cake, blowing on it so she doesn’t scorch her mouth. Ryujin does the same, watching Yeji take her first bite.

“Oh my god, it’s so good,” Yeji gasps.

Ryujin grins. “It’s my friend’s restaurant,” she says. “She’s one of the best cooks I know.” She takes a bite. “Maybe we can go sometime. She’ll get us a private room if you’re worried.”

“I’d like that,” Yeji manages. “If it’s this good reheated, I can’t imagine what her food is like fresh.”

They finish eating quickly with minimal chitchat, both clearly more interested in what comes next. Ryujin throws their chopsticks in the sink, rinsing out the takeout container and throwing it in the recycling. Yeji sips at her water as she waits, feeling a little useless. 

Finally, Ryujin dries off her hands and turns to Yeji with a smile. “Alright, baby. Come with me.”

Yeji retrieves her bag and follows Ryujin up the stairs to her room. It’s only now that she really takes in her surroundings. Ryujin’s apartment is huge, and gorgeous. There are beautiful windows that look out over the city in almost every room. The floors are sleek hardwood, the walls painted a pristine white, the doorknobs all a flawless metal. Ryujin opens her bedroom door, turning on a lamp, and Yeji’s eyes grow wide.

She has a huge, beautiful black dresser along one wall, next to a small door that Yeji assumes leads to her closet. There’s a big jewelry organizer on top of the dresser, and a bunch of skincare products filed neatly in a box on the other side. Behind the dresser is a big, circular mirror with a brushed gold frame. Ryujin’s bed is simple, but sturdy. It looks like it’s made of bamboo, with a set of sheets in varying shades of muted blue. There’s a big window here, too; Ryujin goes to it and taps a panel on the wall, and blinds whir into place, giving them privacy from the neighbors across the street. There’s another door on the other side of the bed that’s been left ajar, and Yeji can make out pristine marble counters in the dark—it must be her bathroom.

“This place is stunning,” Yeji says softly, and Ryujin smiles.

“Thank you,” she says. “It helps that I don’t have kids. More money to spend on myself, you know. Go ahead and put your bag down by my dresser.”

Yeji drops her bag on the floor, still gazing around. There’s a huge art piece on the wall opposite the window, some pretty abstract painting in blues and golds. She startles when she feels a hand on her wrist.

“I’m going to take my makeup off,” Ryujin says. “Would you like to as well? You’re probably gonna get messy.”

Yeji almost shivers, snapping her eyes back to Ryujin. “Oh! Yes, please.” Maybe with a man she would’ve been nervous to reveal her bare face so quickly, but Ryujin will have to reveal hers, too. Besides, Yeji has a feeling Ryujin won’t think any differently of her, makeup or no makeup.

They head into the bathroom; Ryujin flicks on a light over the vanity. She has a gorgeous recessed tub in one corner, and a huge standing shower in the other. The tub is made of the same black marble as her counters; the floor is some kind of white tile, and it goes all the way up the walls of the shower, too. Ryujin pops open a container and pulls out a couple of cotton pads, pumping them on top of some kind of micellar water, and then handing a couple to Yeji.

Together, they take their makeup off, side by side and silent in front of the mirror. There’s something so sweet and intimate about it—two women, carefully wiping away the faces they show the public and letting each other see what’s underneath. Yeji rinses her face off and then straightens to find Ryujin already offering her a soft hand towel to pat her skin dry. 

“Moisturizer,” Ryujin murmurs, holding out a bottle and squeezing a pump out onto Yeji’s palm. Yeji smiles as she warms it between her hands and then taps it into her skin. There’s a comfort in this, an understanding Yeji has never had with any other partner.

“Thanks,” she says belatedly.

“Lemme see you, pretty girl,” Ryujin murmurs, and Yeji turns.

Ryujin looks less severe now, gentler and more subtle, but still just as attractive. The fine lines on her face are a little more prominent, but Yeji finds that she likes them, likes that Ryujin looks a little more mature. It makes her feel safe. 

“You have a freckle on the tip of your nose,” Ryujin whispers, smiling.

Yeji touches it, giggling. “Yeah,” she says. “Have had it since I was a kid.”

Ryujin leans forward, coaxing Yeji’s hand out of the way with a finger, and places a soft kiss on the spot. Yeji giggles. “It’s cute,” she says. “Okay, c’mon.” She takes one of Yeji’s hands, pulling her back out into the bedroom and turning the bathroom light off as she goes. “Get comfy,” she says, dropping Yeji’s hand and nodding her towards the bed.

Yeji sits, pulling her socks off and tossing them underhand into the corner while Ryujin goes to the lamp she turned on when they first came in and dims it. Satisfied, she returns to the bed, pausing to slip her socks off as well, one hand braced on the mattress, before climbing up to join Yeji.

“Hi, baby,” she says softly, crawling up next to her and giving her a kiss.

“Hi, mommy,” Yeji whispers back, and Ryujin’s smile turns a little darker. 

“Now that you mention it, we should probably talk about that,” Ryujin says.

“What?” Yeji asks, surprised.

“We’ve already established that we both like when you call me mommy,” Ryujin says. “So what else? What do you like, baby?”

Yeji considers it, thinking back to her past relationships. Her sex life has always been rather vanilla, she supposes. It’s not that she’s unaware of the options, it’s just that she never really knew how to bring it up. But now Ryujin is here, asking, and…

“I’m not sure,” Yeji admits softly. “I’ve never really—explored like that before.”

Ryujin remains unfazed. “But you want to,” she says.

Yeji’s breath hitches in her throat. “Yes.”

“Lucky for you, I have plenty of experience,” Ryujin says, corners of her lips curling up dangerously. “We can try things out, see what you like. The important thing is you make sure to tell me if something feels good or bad. Okay?” Yeji nods. “If something is bad, I want you to say red. Like stop. Even if I don’t ask you, okay?”

“Okay,” Yeji agrees. 

“I’ll check in from time to time, though, just in case. If everything is good, then you can say green,” Ryujin continues. “Yellow is somewhere in the middle—just that you’re not sure, that you want to slow down, maybe change something and then keep going, or maybe stop.”

“Like a traffic light,” Yeji giggles.

“Yes,” Ryujin says. “Now, is there anything you’ve been curious about?”

A thousand dirty things pop into Yeji’s head at once. She thinks Ryujin could do just about anything to her and she’d like it, but she should probably start small. “I like calling you mommy because I like—I think I like giving up control. I like the idea of you doing whatever you want with me.” 

“Mm, that’s good,” Ryujin says, tone almost blithe. “That’s what I want, too.” Her hands have found their way to Yeji’s waist, touches light and teasing. Yeji realizes she’s leaned back against the headboard, has let Ryujin corner her. “You want to give yourself over to me, baby?” 

“Yes,” Yeji breathes. She imagines it, imagines lying pliant, on her back or on her knees, following Ryujin’s every word. She imagines Ryujin sticking a couple of fingers in her mouth and making her gag on them, not letting her speak even when tears gather in her eyes. She imagines Ryujin making her come again and again, with her fingers or her tongue or a toy, or making her ride her thigh and not letting her stop, even when she gets tired and her legs shake. She imagines Ryujin tying her up and grabbing her hair and holding Yeji’s face against her pussy, and—

“What are you thinking about, babygirl?” Ryujin asks, pinching her waist and making her squeak. “You gotta tell me, or we won’t be able to make it happen.”

“I, I—” Yeji’s head already feels a little foggy. She doesn’t know the words to say what she wants. “I don’t know how to explain,” she says finally, sending Ryujin a helpless look.

Ryujin, luckily, shows mercy. “That’s okay, baby,” she soothes. “How about I suggest a few things, and you can tell me yes or no?”

“Okay,” Yeji agrees, settling. 

“You liked it when I pinched you,” Ryujin says. “Yes or no?”

“Yes,” Yeji says.

“You think you like pain?” Ryujin asks. Her hands have traveled down to the button of Yeji’s pants. “Can I?” She taps the button.

“Yes,” Yeji agrees. Suddenly, she wants nothing more than for both of them to be completely naked. Their clothes are just in the way, and she wants to see everything, to show Ryujin everything. “And—yes to pain.”

“Want mommy to spank you?” Ryujin is focused on getting Yeji out of her pants, but her voice is still measured and attentive.

“Yes,” Yeji agrees, lifting her hips so Ryujin can pull her pants down. She does it easily, unhooking the fabric from Yeji’s ankles and dropping her pants somewhere on the floor.

Ryujin bends down and kisses the soft skin of her inner thigh. For all the rough intent of her words, her touch is still gentle. Another kiss, higher this time, close to where Yeji can feel heat and wetness building, close to where Yeji wants so badly for Ryujin to touch her. Another kiss, over the tendon there that’s pulled taut. And then Ryujin raises her head, self-satisfied smirk only growing when Yeji whines. 

“And you like that I’m older than you,” Ryujin says softly. “Yes or no?”

Yeji swallows. “Yes,” she whispers. “I like it a lot.”

“Mm.” Ryujin comes back up to Yeji, gives her a quick kiss on the point of her jaw. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” Yeji says truthfully. There’s just something about it—maybe it’s the same sort of thing that makes her want to submit. Ryujin has all the power, all the control, and Yeji likes that. “I want—” The words are in her brain before she can even think of where they came from, but they’re true. “I want you to take advantage of me, mommy.”

Ryujin kisses the hollow of her throat with a low hum. “Does it make me a bad person if that’s what I want, too?” she murmurs.

Yeji shakes her head. “I don’t think so,” she says. “I’ve come to you willingly, haven’t I?”

“That’s true,” Ryujin says, her voice gaining a hard sort of edge to it. “Practically threw yourself at me tonight, what was I supposed to do?”

“Couldn’t help it,” Yeji says, truthful once again. “Haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“What a coincidence.” Ryujin’s voice is soft and dangerous. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you, either.” She toys with the hem of Yeji’s shirt. “We can talk about the rest later,” she says decisively. “Let’s get the rest of your clothes off so I can eat you out.”

Yeji nods, almost frantically. “Yes, please.” 

Ryujin smiles and helps her out of her shirt, then goes to work on her pants while Yeji unclasps her bra. Ryujin’s tiny tank top goes next, and Yeji watches, rapt, as her bra falls away, too, and they’re both left in just their underwear. 

Yeji’s seen plenty of tits before—she works in a club, she’s seen it all—but it's never really occurred to her that she likes tits, until now. Ryujin leans in, pressing a kiss to Yeji’s sternum, and Yeji brings a hand up to cup one of them, running her thumb over Ryujin’s nipple and nearly giggling when a tremor passes through her body. 

“What was that about never being with a woman before?” Ryujin says, half amusement, half something else. “You seem to know exactly what you’re doing.”

Yeji does it again, flicks her thumb back and forth a couple times. “I’m just doing what I know I like,” she says softly, and Ryujin closes her mouth around one of Yeji’s nipples in response, tongue quick and skilled and so good. Yeji gasps, pleasure flooding her body. She can’t wait to find out how that’s going to feel against her clit. 

It seems like Ryujin is thinking the same thing. After a few seconds, she pulls off, sitting back on her heels and out of Yeji’s reach. “More time for that later,” she says when Yeji pouts. “I want to eat you out first.”

“Okay,” Yeji agrees breathlessly. “Yeah, okay.”

“Scoot down a little,” Ryujin says. “Get comfortable.”

Yeji slides down the bed just enough that she ends up half-reclined against Ryujin’s pillows. Ryujin gets situated between her legs, running her hands down the tops of her thighs and leaving goosebumps scattering across Yeji’s skin in their wake. And then she reaches out and finally touches Yeji, palm overturned and fingers gentle, brushing over the fabric of Yeji’s panties.

“You’re so wet already, babygirl,” Ryujin comments, almost offhand. “Already soaked through your panties.”

“Your fault,” Yeji accuses, and Ryujin just laughs.

“Let’s call it a team effort, hm?” She doesn’t need an answer; she hooks her index fingers on the waistband of Yeji’s underwear and pulls them down. Yeji extracts her legs, giggling when Ryujin chucks them over her shoulder. “That’s better. Ready?” She looks up, finds Yeji’s eyes. Yeji nods.

Ryujin slings one of Yeji’s thighs over her shoulder and bends over. Yeji has about a half a second to admire the contours of her back before she can’t think at all, because Ryujin’s tongue is against her clit. She moves it in circles, almost teasing, and then goes in with rough back-and-forth movements. She hardly gives Yeji a chance to adjust, picking up the pace, pressing her face closer. 

Yeji’s mouth has dropped open into a silent scream. She shakes, hands whispering across the sheets, trying and failing to find purchase there, something to anchor her. “Mommy,” she gasps, and Ryujin only hums. 

Yeji has been eaten out before. But never this well, this quickly. Maybe it’s Ryujin’s age, or maybe it’s that she’s a woman, too, but there’s hardly a learning curve for her. Yeji almost feels embarrassed. She knows she won’t be nearly as good, and she considers apologizing right now. But she can’t, because she can hardly form words. Ryujin slips a finger in her—easy now that she’s practically dripping onto her sheets—and Yeji moans, letting her head loll to the side.

“Mommy,” she whimpers. “More.”

Ryujin doesn’t respond, just adds a second finger and works them in and out of Yeji tirelessly, curling them up as she pulls them out to press against the spot inside her that makes her legs shake. Yeji alternates between rolling her hips up to meet her and trying to squirm away. It’s almost too much, but she wants more, and she realizes that it’s because she’s close already. 

She can feel the heat of Ryujin’s breath against her entrance. It’s almost reassuring—at least it’s hard work for Ryujin to make her feel like this. If it were easy, Yeji thinks she’d probably die of embarrassment.

But only after she comes, because everything feels so fucking good, and in the back of her mind, she finds herself almost remorseful. Why had she let herself suffer without sex this good for so many years? The answer, she knows, is just that she didn’t know it was possible to feel like this. It’s not that her past partners had left her unsatisfied, but she has a feeling that this is going to all but ruin her for everyone else. 

“Feels so good,” she stutters. “Oh, fuck, Ryujin, mommy, I-I’m close.”

Ryujin raises her head as she adds a third finger. Her lips and chin are slick, glistening with Yeji, and her eyes are bright and happy. “Good, baby?” she asks. Yeji hardly hears her, thinks maybe she manages a nod. The next thing she feels is pain, sharp enough to make her gasp. Ryujin has struck the back of one of her thighs. “I asked you a question.”

Yeji moans, high and broken. “Y-yes, it’s good,” she says. Ryujin doesn’t slow her fingers once; actually, Yeji’s pretty sure she’s sped up. 

“Feeling okay?” Ryujin’s voice is the same, but Yeji registers something softer underneath. “Can you give me a color?”

“Green,” Yeji replies immediately. “Please, mommy, hit me again.” There’s a small part of her that balks at the words—she never imagined she’d beg to be hurt. But, then again, it’s different with women. She can trust Ryujin. She’s safe here. “Make me come.”

“Of course, baby,” Ryujin says, tone almost indulgent. She dips her head again, and it takes everything in Yeji not to buck her hips up to meet Ryujin’s mouth. Ryujin hollows her cheeks a little, sucking as she swipes her tongue, back and forth and then around and around, fingers still pumping, other Han soothing over the spot where she struck here, where the tingles of pain are rapidly fading. 

Yeji barely realizes Ryujin’s raised her hand before she strikes her again, the pain blooming hot and sweet across her skin. Yeji lets out a shaky moan, and Ryujin hums against her clit and then Yeji is coming, one hand flying to the back of Ryujin’s head, holding her in place as her whole body goes tight. She convulses around Ryujin’s fingers, gasping out whimpers that sound something like mommy, mommy please, and Ryujin doesn’t stop. Yeji’s heart is pounding, her head; pleasure sweeps her whole body in staggering wave after staggering wave. She feels it washing down her legs to her fucking toes, her fingertips, followed by near numbness as Ryujin finally relents, pulling away and crawling up the bed to lavish Yeji with attention.

She feels lips brushing her own and kisses back blindly. Ryujin pushes her tongue past Yeji’s teeth, and Yeji can taste herself. Another tremor runs through her body, and even though she’s still going through the aftershocks of her orgasm, she thinks she could maybe come again. Ryujin hums softly into her mouth, clean hand coming up to stroke her cheek as she pulls back.

“Look at me, baby,” Ryujin whispers. Yeji blinks her eyes open shyly, and finds Ryujin staring back. “Did so good for me,” she murmurs and Yeji preens, fluttering her eyelashes and letting out a soft giggle.

“I don’t think I’ve come that hard in my life,” she admits, and Ryujin chuckles.

“Good,” she says. “Can’t have anybody else making you feel like I do.” She raises her other hand, fingers glistening in the low light. “Help me clean up?”

Yeji leans forward, parting her lips and letting her tongue poke out a little in response. Ryujin smiles, offering her her ring and pinky fingers, dipping her head to take her index and middle fingers herself. Yeji pushes her tongue between the two fingers, licking them clean. Her forehead brushes against Ryujin’s, and when they both pull off, they’re laughing softly. Yeji follows Ryujin with her eyes, rapt, tracing over her smile lines, as Ryujin wipes their spit off on her thigh.

Ryujin brushes some of Yeji’s hair off her forehead with her other hand. “I like when you look at me like that,” she says.

Yeji leans into the touch, not breaking eye contact. “Like what?” she asks.

“Like you have stars in your eyes,” Ryujin says, smiling.

Yeji smiles, too. “I can’t help it,” she says truthfully. She sits up a little straighter, leaning into Ryujin’s space to steal another kiss. “Okay,” she says. “Your turn now. But you’re gonna have to help me.”

Ryujin exhales soft laughter. “Okay,” she replies. “What do you want, baby? You wanna eat me out too?” She tips her head just a little. “You don’t have to.”

Yeji rolls her eyes. “Are you nuts?” she asks. “Yes, I wanna eat you out.”

“Okay, let me see something,” Ryujin says. “Stick your tongue out.” Yeji obeys. “You can go around in circles, right?” Yeji nods, demonstrating, feeling a pleased flush rise to her cheeks when Ryujin’s eyes darken. “Good girl. How ‘bout side to side?” Ryujin demonstrates, sticking her own tongue out and wiggling it back and forth in a perfect line. Yeji hesitates, then tries it too, going slow at first but picking up speed once she gets the hang of it. Ryujin grins. “So talented,” she teases, and Yeji giggles. “Try it like that, like I did with you. Switch it up a little. I’ll tell you if you need to change anything.”

They switch places carefully. There’s something so purposeful about it; one action doesn’t naturally flow into the next, and Yeji used to think that might be kind of unsexy. But she appreciates now that they’re taking it slow, that Ryujin is giving her time to set herself up. Besides, there’s something to be said about being deliberate, about choosing.

Ryujin lies back against her pillows, letting her legs drop open. “Let’s see what you can do, pretty girl,” she murmurs, and Yeji feels something flare in her, a drive to be good, a drive to prove herself.

She bends over Ryujin’s body, pausing to kiss her stomach, first between her ribs and then at the seat of it, the pretty curved line where her belly meets her hips, then lower. She hesitates for a split second, then pushes on. The last thing she sees before she gets too close is pink and pink and pink, dusky and pretty and enticing. Yeji’s nerves slip away. She knows what to do, mostly, and where she doesn’t, Ryujin will help her.

Yeji can smell her, the wet heat of it. It’s earthy and a little sharp, different from Yeji, different from anything she knows. It might be a little gross of her, but it smells good. The short hairs tickle against Yeji’s nose and upper lip as she opens her mouth and presses her tongue against Ryujin’s clit. She takes Ryujin’s hips in her hands to hold herself upright, then circles her tongue around her clit, long, slow movements, building up to an easy rhythm and giving herself a chance to adjust. There’s not much to adjust to, though. She’s not choking on anything, and she doesn’t have to be so careful with her teeth. Sucking dick has its merits to be sure, but this—Yeji pushes her face closer, switching to the side-to-side movements Ryujin just taught her, and is rewarded with a breathy moan.

She raises her gaze and finds Ryujin watching through half-lidded eyes, head lolled to the side. “That’s it, baby,” Ryujin says when she sees Yeji looking. “So good. You’re a natural.” There’s a hint of humor nestled there in the desire, and Yeji smiles against Ryujin’s pussy, swiping her tongue faster. She tastes mild, a little salty, a little bitter, and Yeji makes a mental note to ask Ryujin if she can tongue-fuck her next time so she can have more. 

One of Ryujin’s hands comes down to cup the base of her skull. Yeji hums softly, delighted to find it sends shivers through Ryujin’s whole body.

“Don’t even need me to help you,” Ryujin says lowly. “Doing so good. You can go a little slower. Think you can give me one of your fingers, baby? Want you inside.”

Yeji scrambles to obey, planting one hand on the mattress to stabilize herself and fitting her other arm under her body so she can work a finger into Ryujin. This, too, comes easy; she knows what feels good, what doesn’t. Ryujin is so wet, dripping down her knuckles as she begins to move her finger in and out, slow and stuttering as she tries to keep up with her tongue, too. It takes a few minutes of awkward, jerky movements, but Ryujin is patient, murmuring praise. Yeji doesn’t back down, determined to find the right rhythm, and eventually she does, tongue pushed flat and wiggling side to side against Ryujin’’s swollen clit as she pumps her finger in and out. She’s glad she’s not wearing nails, that she clipped them just yesterday and filed them down to let them recover, glad there’s nothing stopping her from giving Ryujin everything.

As Ryujin gets louder, Yeji gets bolder, scraping gently with her teeth to see what will happen. Ryujin moans, nails digging into Yeji’s scalp. “Who taught you that, baby?” Ryujin asks. “Fuck, do it again for me.” Yeji obeys, staying gentle, warmth settling over her body and gathering in her belly when Ryujin shakes.

She adds a second finger, and she’s able to get deeper like this, curling her fingers up and moaning again Ryujin’s clit when Ryujin rolls her hips up to meet her, when she groans low and gravelly in the back of her throat and says, “There, right there, baby.” Yeji’s tongue is getting sore, her lips puffy and probably bruised, her chin covered with seat and spit and Ryujin, her fingers tiring, but she keeps going because Ryujin sounds so good, tastes so good, feels so good. She thinks she could do this forever, maybe, face buried between Ryujin’s thighs, Ryujin’s moans filling the air, Ryujin clenching tight around her fingers, pulling her in.

“Fuck, oh fuck,” Ryujin gasps, and then Yeji feels her pulsing around her fingers as she arches off the bed, bumping Yeji’s nose almost painfully. Yeji doesn’t care, does her best to move with her, keeps circling her tongue and moving her fingers as best she can as Ryujin comes with a moan. Yeji thinks dizzily that maybe it’s the best thing she’s ever heard. She thinks she’s gonna remember it forever, the sound playing and replaying in her mind whenever she gets off next.

After a little while, Ryujin stills and pushes her away, gentle but firm. “Okay, okay,” she gasps and Yeji raises her head, drawing in a huge breath. She realizes now how tired she is, how her body aches, how tight her lungs.

“Was it good, mommy?” she asks breathlessly, crawling to the side and then scooting up towards the pillows.

Ryujin nods, giving her a lazy, satisfied smile. “Yes, baby,” she says, and her voice is all sugar. “You did very good. C’mere.” She holds out her arms and Yeji goes happily, nestling close. “Kiss me.” And Yeji does, pressing her lips to Ryujin’s, kissing her softly, letting her eyes fall shut, letting Ryujin wrap her up in her arms until she’s surrounded, until the whole world is just Ryujin and her lips and her taste and her soft, soft skin. 

They break apart after a few moments and just lay there, breathing. Yeji rests her head on Ryujin’s shoulder. She wonders what time it is. Maybe the sun is already on the rise. Maybe it’s been hours. She’s not sure, but she doesn’t care. She could stay here forever, she thinks. She would stay, if Ryujin asked.

“Doing okay?” Ryujin asks finally.

Yeji giggles a little deliriously. It feels like such a silly question. “God, yeah,” she says. “I had fun. Is that weird? I had so much fun, I didn’t know it could be so fun.”

Ryujin laughs, too, the delight rich and clear. “Good,” she says. “I’m glad. I had fun, too.”

They lay together a few minutes more, pressing soft kisses to each other’s palms and letting their laughter ebb away. At last, Ryujin drags them both from the bed. Together they pull the sheets off, throwing them in a heap with their clothes, and then head to the bathroom for a shower. Ryujin has earthy-scented body wash, and Yeji tries to hide how pleased she is to share, happy that the smell will linger on her skin tomorrow, a secret reminder.

Yeji has a few spare pairs of clean underwear in her bag, so she pulls on a pair once they’re both dry, then goes to Ryujin for a shirt. Ryujin has her top drawer open, picking out a pair for herself, and Yeji’s eyes land on a row of dildos in the back, along with a harness.

“You own a strap?” she gasps, swatting Ryujin’s arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Didn’t want to scare you,” Ryujin replies, plucking up a pair of underwear and pushing the drawer shut.

“Next time?” Yeji all but demands, pouting. “Want you to fuck me, mommy.”

“God, you’re insatiable,” Ryujin accuses, but she’s grinning. She leans in and kisses Yeji’s forehead. “Yes,” she adds. “Next time.”

They get sleep shirts, then put on fresh sheets together, fluffing the pillows, and climb into bed. Yeji yawns widely, and Ryujin covers her mouth for her, laughing as they both settle down against the pillows.

Yeji curls closer, slotting one of her legs between Ryujin’s. Ryujin runs a hand down her back, touch warm and reassuring, eyes on Yeji, watching her. Yeji blinks back, some joyous feeling bubbling up in her chest. She’s never felt so wanted. She’s never felt so safe.

“G’night,” she whispers.

“It’s already seven a.m.,” Ryujin whispers back.

“Oops,” Yeji says softly, closing her eyes, and Ryujin laughs. The sound washes her into sleep, Ryujin’s hand is still warm on Yeji’s back.

[tyunslove]

— a single pringle (proudly)

CHARACTERS . . . ryujin, mentioned yeji and lia

WARNINGS . . . suggestive themes (hs teenagers) , mentions of sex , being insecure and swearing

WORD COUNT . . . 0.6k (unedited)

GENRES/TROPES . . . aroace!ryujin , vent (??) fic , introspection , high-school memories , angst (??)

ryujin goes on a morning walk and introspects on romance.

the sun is shining high and bright. the tree branches sway gently along with the summer breeze, allowing leaves to travel with it. the sky is coloured a baby blue and clear of clouds. these things come together to paint the surroundings of ryujin's walk on a tuesday morning.

her black hair dances lightly in the wind, her black doc martens clicking and clacking— she grows addicted used to the sound, click, clack, click, clack— against the concrete sidewalk beside a local park.

her dark chocolate-coloured eyes wander in that direction to see an old man and woman sitting on a bench, holding hands as they feed birds with bits of bread.

she feels the wind of another duo pass by her, clearly trapped in their own world (if their laughing is a hint of anything).

on the other side of the road bustled with vehicles are a pair of pedestrians linked by the arm.

all of these people could've been couples, dating or engaged or married. she wouldn't know. she never had a romantic or sexual partner.

she wouldn't know.

she remembers high-school, with smelly and sweaty teenagers talking about crushes, love, sex (oh god the sex) and whatnot as if it was their life source. everytime a new couple got together, rumours spread like wildfire. suddenly everyone in school knew. suddenly everyone was telling them to use protection. suddenly everyone was asking each other how long they thought the couple would last.

the whole concept of dating and high-school sweethearts was something she never understood. her brain perceived it as something only existing in cheesy rom-com 2000s media.

she recalls her friends bugging her to get a boyfriend— 'ew no, why would i date anyone in this school?' she would think— and setting her up on blind dates with random guys from school. she would say 'not interested' and they would all be so disappointed ('it's not my fault i don't prioritise love at all so why are they looking at me like that?' she would wonder with insecurity).

everyone was in a relationship by the time she dropped out of high-school, training to become a idol. she felt less tense in a practice room instead of being with people eating each other's faces out. it became too much for her on some days.

but love was, and still is, everywhere. in her face. all the time. she HATES it. why in the ever-loving fuck would someone think it was a good a idea to have sex scenes in movies, zoom in on the kissing and have actors go through all that torture then walk out of the set in one piece?

at one point, it became too much so she vented to lia about it.

"have you heard of the word 'aroace' before?" was her response. she recalls herself and lia searching what it meant on the internet together. it was something along the lines of, 'being aroace means having little to no romantic and sexual attraction to anybody. it means not knowing how having a crush feels like, or how wanting to have sex feels like'.

she remembers thinking, 'THAT'S ME!!' she remembers feeling like her questions were answered. she remembers feeling euphoric.

now, she is content with her identity. she still loves people, but in a more familial and platonic sense. she may never understand romance and sex, but she is fine with never knowing.

she walks back to the dorms, keys jingling in her hand to unlock the door open. "i'm home!!" she shouts. yeji shouts back, "you missed breakfast!!" she always misses breakfast recently, she realises.

"sorry," she chuckles awkwardly. "it's fine, at least it's a free day." yeji replies, placing a sandwich on a plate before sliding it across the table to her. "thanks."

a sandwich is always good after introspecting, especially about romance.

this work belongs to © tyunslove. please do not translate or copy to another site. thank you.

[lth3auth0r]

Ryujin X Male Reader - Choose Love FF

Day 1:

I arrive at the location of the experiment I signed up for at it's first day.

As I get into the Lobby some other boys who have already arrived are looking at me.

"Hey, you must be Y/N I suppose." one of them says.

"Yes, thats correct." I say and we shake hands.

"Whats your name?" I ask him.

"My name is Paul and this right here is my brother Simon." he responds and points at the other boy sitting next to him.

"Nice to meet you." I say smiling.

"Pleasure is all mine." Simon says and we also shake hands.

We sit down at one of the big sofas.

"So, why have you guys signed up for this?" I ask them.

Both of them are thinking for a couple of seconds until Simon answers first.

"Both of us are tired of dating apps and when we tried to find somebody in public it always ended toxic." he says looking at his brother who nods.

"How about you?" Paul asks.

"I am single for quite a while now. My last relationship did not work at all, she just basically used me and we always fought until she cheated on me with my cousin. So, I hope to find a real and honest relationship here. Thats why I signed up." I respond.

"That is a hard story. Hopefully this works out for you." Paul says.

"I hope so too." I say.

Then a door opens at the host of the experiment comes in.

He looks at us smiling and clears his throat.

"Hello everyone, thank you for taking part in our experiment Choose Love. Let me quickly introduce myself. My Name is Mario and I am the host of this Experiment for the Male department. The rules of this are very simple. All of you will be seated in a room. The number of it will be chosen randomly. At the other side one of our Lady Candidates will be seated. But the point is that you will not be able to see each other. You can just talk to and get to know each other by hearing the voice of the other Person. You have to get to know the person as good as possible for the next three days and the target is to fall in love just by hearing each other. At the last day you will decide for one the candidate you like the most or you already have fallen in love with which would be the best and ask for a relationship. Then if the decision is made, you will be revealed to other Person. Are there any questions concering this?" he says and looks at us.

Nobody gives a response and Mario nods.

"Great, then you can come over here and introduce yourself quickly before choosing your room number. Who would like to start?" he asks.

"I can go up first." a boy says and gets up. He wears a red shirt and has longer black hair.

He looks at us and then starts his introduction.

"Hello guys, my Name is Robert and I am 24 years old. I have signed up for this experiment because I got a divorce not long ago and I would like to be happy in love again." he says and seems a little bit sad while talking about the divorce Part.

We start clapping and Mario offers him a box.

"Please choose your room number without peaking." he says and Robert puts one hand into the Box while looking into the other direction.

He pulls out a little paper and looks at it before sitting down.

Then the next one of our group stands up to introduce himself. He seems to be from Spain of Latin Amercia.

"Hello everyone, my Name is Fernando and I am 25 years old. The reason I signed up here is that I have never been into a healthy relationship at all and I would like to find someone to spend my life with." he says and we start clapping again.

He also pulls a little paper with a room number and sits down.

The next ones to introduce are Simon and Paul. They tell the stroy about their reason for signing up for the experiment which they have also told me before. I smile at them while they do their best to perform in front of us.

After they pulled their room number and sat down next to me again, Mario looks at me.

"And last but not least, we have this handsome young man here who would also like to introduce himself to us." he says and I get up to the front.

I clear my throat and take a deep breath.

"Hello everyone. My name is Y/N and I am 23 years old. I signed up for this experiment because my last relationship did not work at all and I would like to find someone to have a real and honest relationship with." I say looking at the others.

"Thank you for introducing, you may also please pick the only room number we have left now and then we will move on to the next step." Mario says and gives me the last paper in the box.

I sit down next to Paul and Simon and unfold the paper. It is room 1741. An interesting number what could that mean? I ask myself.

"Which room number do you have?" I ask both of them.

"We have not seen it yet." Paul asks while he and Simon unfold their papers.

"I have 2170. " Simon says with a bright smile.

"And I have 561. I am so curious how she will be" Paul says in a happy but also quite nervous tone.

Then suddenly Fernando and Robert appear.

"Is it okay if we have a seat?" Robert asks.

"Of course." I say and we offer them a space at the Sofa.

"We were just talking about our room numbers. Have you seen yours yet?" I ask looking at them.

Both shake their heads and unfold their paper.

"Mine is 9123" Robert says and looks at us.

"Interesting, mine is 2650." Fernando says while showing us the paper.

"Okay, boys are you ready for the next step?" we suddenly hear Mario's Voice behind us.

"Yeah, we definetly are. What will be next?" I ask him.

"Next you will be going into your rooms to meet the voices of our female candidates for the first time. If you may follow me." he says and we get up to follow him to the end of the Lobby where a big door is located.

"I hope you enjoy the first day, you all know your room numbers. If you have any questions or wishes, please do not hesitate to talk to me." Mario says before pushing a little button at the door. It slowly opens revealing a corridor with doors at the left side.

My heart is pounding faster as I look for my room number.

Then nearly at the end of the corridor I find the door with the room number 1741.

I look around to check for the others. All of them have found their room numbers.

Then the door shows a green light and you can hear a little clicking sound. I slightly push against the door which is opens and reveals a cozy little living room Design. Right in front of the Sofa I can see the part of the wall Mario has spoken about.

The door closes behind me and I sit down at the Sofa. I am still a bit nervous about what will happen next.

Then I suddenly hear a door sound behind the wall coming from the other side. Someone is entering the room on the other side of the wall.

The door on the other side of the room closes which means that the person is now inside the room. I hear footsteps behind the wall and a sound as if you sit down.

"Hello, who is there?" I start speaking first to gain the person's attention. I also take out my College Block to write down some informations the person will may give me. My heart starts to best faster as I still wait on the person to respond.

"Hi" the other Person suddenly says in a soft tone and I hear that she smiles. Her deeper voice sounds so soothing in this first Moment that I immediately want more of it. "Whats your name?" I ask smiling. "My name is Ryujin. And yours?" she asks back. I immediately write down this beautiful name. "I have to write your name down because it sounds so beautiful." I say before I get to the point. "My name is Y/N." I respond and Ryujin also seems to write that down.

In these first minutes I clearly feel that my heart wants to tell me something about this girl sitting on the other side of the wall in front of me, so I listen to it and take the iniciative.

"Ryujin, I have a question for you." I say while preparing what I want to say next in my brain. "Sure, go ahead." she responds. "I would like to know why you have signed up for this experiment." I say and Ryujin starts to tell me.

"So first of all, my previous boyfriend treated me unfairly. He did not listen to me, neither he talked to me normally. He was just ignoring me all the time. He took me to every Party and just talked to his friends while drinking with them." Ryujin says and I listen to her words. "I am sorry for that." I say. "Thats okay. Now he thankfully is out of my life since three months and I thought an experiment like this one can help me to find someone new." she says and I clearly hear how revealed she is to be away from this guy. "But what about you?" she asks me.

I think about if I should tell her the story about my last relationship which is the reason I am single for quite a while now. "You can tell me." Ryujin says behind the wall. So I take a deep breath.

"In my case, the reason that I am single for quite a while now is that my ex girlfriend cheated on me with my cousin. One day I came home and they were laying on the couch together playing with themselves." I say while remembering this awful scene. "Ugh, that is mean." Ryujin says. "Definetly, I will never forget how my cousin looked at me with that wide smile on his face what made me throw them out of my appartement." I say and a little bit of anger starts building up in me as the memories come back. "So thats why I signed up here." I finish my story.

"So we have something in common." Ryujin says and laughs. "Yeah, I really like that." I say smiling. "It is very nice that we can talk with each other in this open way." I say with a warm feeling inside of me.

The way she laughs also makes me feeling attracted to her even more. I always liked it, when a kind girl has a sense of humor and she definetly seems to have that. Can it get even better? I ask myself while taking some notes. I seriously would like to pinch a hole in that wall in front of me, just to see how she looks like.

I just hope that this experiment works.

"What are you doing for work?" I ask her then after a little break. "In a sense, I am musician. I wonder if you might know some of my songs." Ryujin responds. I think for a quick second but nothing comes to my mind. "No, unfortunately not but that sounds quite nice." I say, while imagining myself standing in a crowd of her concert but maybe it is even better if I do not know her music yet, so that makes this experiment more interesting. "You should listen to it soon." she says while I write down the Information about her Music. "But what about you?" she asks then. "I am working at the reception of a nearby 5 Star Hotel." I respond. "How do I have to imagine that? Ryujin asks quite interested. "You have to check your guests in when they arrive and check them out if they leave. And during their stay you are there for them to help when they have questions and sometimes they also complain about something they do not like. But that part really can let your personality grow because you gain a lot of experience through such situations." I finish my explanation. "That sounds quite exhausting." Ryujin says. "It definetly can be but let me add that you know what you have done after such a stressful day." I respond while still thinking about Ryujin's music thing. I really would listen to one of her songs.

Her voice is so lovely already, so her songs can just be masterpieces. Then I cannot bury my curiosity anymore.

"Would it be okay for you, to show me one of these songs?" I ask her friendly.

"Hmmmm, maybe.." she says in a playful voice.

Our chemistry gets better all the time and I start to feel something inside of me, the longer we talk. And that feeling grows within me. I think about if I should tell her but maybe it is a little bit early for that. On the other hand, to fall in love is the main goal of this experiment. But no, it is to early. What if she does not like me at all? Maybe because of my Job or something else? All of these questions fly around inside of my head and I do not have an answer to them what also makes my stomach cramp.

I already adore her so much that it is nearly scary. This deep voice is so soothing that I could listen to it all day. Her sense of humor and also her kindness mixed with the incredible knowledge of life. I more and more think that heaven sent her to me directly. But what if I tell her about what I think? How will she react? Oh come on Y/N, you have signed up for this, so you have to go a few steps closer to your target.

I take a deep breath and hold it for a few seconds. That is harder than I thought.

"Ryujin.." I start my sentence.

"Yes?" she responds. Now I am caught in that situation of her waiting for me to finish my sentence.

"I just would like to tell you, that you seem very sympathic to me and it makes me really happy that I got to know you here." I feel my heart racing as she says quiet for some seconds which feel like hours.

"That is so kind of you and I must say the same about you in this situation." she then finally responds. My eyes get big since I do not thought that she would respond like this. "Thank you so much." I say while feeling like winning an award show. Ryujin just told me that she likes me. Can you believe that? A maybe famous musician just told me that she likes me. If this experiment works and we choose love, nothing will be left to oppose us. Everything will be ours and maybe we will create a song together, since I like good music as well. How good would that be?

I just want to say something as I hear knocks on my door. "Someone just knocked on my door, I just have to see who it is." I say and get up. "Sure, take your time." Ryujin says

I slightly open the door to look into Mario's friendly face. "The time is over for today." he says. "Oh okay, then let me just say goodbye." I respond and he nods. I get back into the room, packing my College Block. "Unfortunately I have to go. I will see you tomorrow." I say in a sad tone. "See you tomorrow then. It was very great to get to know you and I am looking forward to get to know you even better." Ryujin answers. "Same here." I say and go to the door.

Together with Mario I walk down the corridor until we reach the lobby where the others already are seated on the couches with glasses of Champagn. I also grab myself one and sit down next to Simon.

"How was your day?" I ask him while taking a sip of my Champagn. "Oh it was great. She is so cute, her voice is so angelic and the best is that she has experiences in living abroad. I love that. How about you?" he asks me. "I personally believe that this experiment works now. We kind of share the same story from our past when it comes to relationships. And she is a musician, how good is that?" I say with a bright smile on my face. "Yeah, that is really nice." Simon says and we look at the others energetically talking about their experiences. Then Mario sits down to us. "I am going to leave now, please enjoy the rest of your evening. I see you all tomorrow." he says and gets his coat.

We keep sharing our experiences until later in the evening. But then we get tired and make our way into the sleeping area. I change into my pyjamas and get to the bathroom to brush my teeth. During that Ryujin comes to my mind. Oh how I wish to be with her now. It would be just us laying on her bed and she would sing one of her songs into my ear with her soothing deep voice. Or we would just have talks and laughter together while cuddling.

Instead I have to share one big sleeping area with four snoring guys. And one of them is infront of the bathroom door right now. "Hey, Y/N open up. It's me Fernando, I have to do my Buisness and cannot hold it any longer." he says ripping me from my thoughts. I put my toothbrush away and slowly move to the door. "There you go, it's all yours." I say and get into the bedroom. After laying down I start thinking about tomorrow. What should I ask or tell Ryujin. Maybe some more sexual questions to melt her ice in that kind of topic. I would really love to find out more about her in that section of her mind. Maybe we also are a Match when it comes to that.

Day 2:

My Alarm is the first thing I hear in the morning. I slowly open my eyes just to see that I am the second one who is awake. Paul just occupied the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Suddenly I hear a yawn next to me and Fernando stretches his arma. "Good Morning" he says. "Good Morning. Have you slept well?" I ask him. "It was okay. How about you?" he says. "Never better." I respond and get up from the bed. After Paul gets out from the bathroom, I also greet him before starting my morning Routine. As soon as I am done with showering and getting my clothes on, I go to the breakfast area where a Buffet is served for us.

After we finished the breakfast, all of us get to the Lobby where Mario is already waiting for us. "Good Morning everyone." he greets us. "Good Morning." we all great back. "I hope you all are ready for day two of our experiment." he says and gets up from his chair. We all nod.

I feel how my heart beats faster when I think about hearing Ryujin's voice again today. The conversation I had with her yesterday were so great that I nearly would say get her to me, we are a match. But I have to stay patient, even though I slowly start to feel something inside of me. Then Mario starts speaking.

"I would like to tell you about the schedule for today. First you will get into your rooms again and you will have another 45 Minutes to talk to our girl candidates on the other side of the wall. Maybe you will get to know each other on a bit more deeper and intimite side because we all know that tomorrow is the day of the big reveal where you will going to see you for the first time in this experiment. And then you will see if you can be able to be together or not. The rest of today will be free time for you." Mario says and presses the button at the door to reveal the corridor with the doors again.

"Lets go." I hear Fernando's voice next to me. I wink at him. Paul and Simon are also stepping into the corridor again and I see how nervous they are to hear the voices of their potential girlfriends again. "I am so nervous to talk to her again." I hear Simon's voice shaking a little bit as he steps infront of the door with his room number.

I also reach my door with the number 1741. Like yesterday the little green light illuminates and I open the door to step in the room. My heart starts pounding again. I sit down at the sofa and take a deep breath. Then I hear the door opening at the other side of the wall.

"Good Morning." I say after hearing Ryujin's steps on the other side of the room.

"Hey, how are you today?" she asks. Her voice is so beautiful, I cannot wait until tomorrow when I am going to see the face of the woman with this soothing, deep voice.

"I am great, thank you. Did you had a good sleep?" I ask her smiling already.

"It was okay, sometimes I stay awake longer. But this is quite known to me, since I had this habit during my trainee days." she says and immediately has my attention.

"Sometimes I also have my struggles with that. What do you do, if you cannot fall asleep?" I ask, waiting for her response.

"Back in my Trainee days, I took long walks at the Han River to clear my mind. Somedays when the walks became longer, I watched the sunrise with one of my best friends." she says while being in her Memories.

"What was that training about?" I ask her interesed.

"It was all about dancing, singing and studying the choreographies from day to night. Sometimes 13 hours a day." she answers.

I start to imagine how she is in the training room with all the others competing in this program which seems to be hard for everyone. But the main thing for me is, that she likes to take walks, so I write that down immediately onto my College Block.

"Do you also like to go for a walk?" Ryujin asks. "Oh yes, I really do. Sometimes if I need to get my head free or just need some air, I go out for a walk. I often took my dog with me but he is now at a better place. My ex girlfriend and I went to a forest near our house when we had the time. It was beautiful." I answer while a Vision of me and Ryujin being together in this forest starts playing inside of my head.

Again I begin to think that we are a match and I would like to break this wall in front of me immediately.

"Maybe we could go on a walk together." I say hoping for a positive answer. "Oh yes, that would be so great." Ryujin says and I silently celebrate with a wide smile on my face.

"So Ryujin, what are you doing when you have free time at home?" I get on to the next question. "I really like to read while listening to music." she says. "The music of your group?" I ask her. "Not exactly. So, when I read I really like to listen to Jazz." she says making me smile again. "Oh thats so nice. Same here. It really calms me down and my concentration gets better when I listen to music like Jazz or Lo Fi." I say while writing down "Likes to listen to Jazz while reading" in big Letters onto my College Block page.

[tqmies]

One Sided

Description. You’d consider Choi Soobin your insufferably perfect class rival. Although it’s definitely one sided, cause he has no idea what the big deal is. In fact, all he can think of around you is the quickening of his heart and the blush spreading across his face.

Pairings. Choi Soobin x Female Reader

Genre. SMUT. Romance. Angst? (They argue a lot!) 

Warnings. MINORS DNI! Unprotected sex (NO NO!) Soobin’s on the bottom, Oral (Giving and Recieving), Riding, and Degradation. 

Word count. 5.8K

Note: This is low key corny.. I am so sorry <3 Enjoy my first fic of 2023

Ft. ITZY Ryujin, SKZ Hyunjin, TBZ Juyeon, Beomgyu and others.

You’re deflecting once again, swearing your eyes are about to roll into the back of your head. His grating voice following you as you move down the hallway. Beomgyu doesn’t let up though, continuing to insist on the topic.

“Go away,” You groan, though of course, he doesn’t listen. 

“I’m just saying.” He defends, as if you’re not about to pull all your hair out.

“My life is not one of those shitty webtoons you read.” Referencing to the constant all nighter’s he pulls to rot his brain with cliche love stories. You knew it would ruin his rational thinking sooner rather than later.

“It could be if you weren’t so stuck up!” 

This was a normal occurrence. No one was phased by Beomgyu hounding you about your love life in the middle of the hall. It happened every other day. Students no longer even spared you a passing glance.

You’re thankful as your friend Ryujin approaches you two, asking what all the commotion is. She usually isn’t one to buy into Beomgyu’s delusions.

“I’m telling you!” Beomgyu exclaims, recalling an argument that was had earlier. “I swore she was gonna be like ‘Oh you wanna kiss me so bad!’ Like she’s so into him that it’s gross!”

Ryujin nods, although skeptically. “Are you sure it wasn’t just two people arguing normally?”

“No,” Beomgyu shakes his head frantically. “Definitely some sexual tension there.”

“It’s just normal tension!” You interject, “I can’t stand Choi Soobin!”

“And we still don’t even know why..” Ryujin mutters, sighing.

“He think he’s so perfect.” You stomp. “Perfect grades, perfect family, perfect job, perfect car, and a perfect face! Dude’s so annoying.”

Beomgyu and Ryujin just share a knowing look and the latter just shrugs. “Whatever you say.” The two say before you part ways.

“I hate that we’re even involved in the same club.” You sigh to yourself.

You had joined photography club at your university during your freshman year. That’s when you had first met Soobin, the only other freshman to join. You weren’t even sure how to work a camera, but your were ready to learn. Eager to dive into this new activity, and nothing was going to stop you.

Regardless, you had a bit of trouble at first, which was normal.

Soobin, on the other hand, was submitting professional level photos to your club each week. It’s like he’d been taking photos forever. Though he had confided in you that he was indeed new to this as well.

It didn’t stop there either. He was a complete honor student, from a wealthy family, and a promising future ahead. He aced everything he tried at, but usually at his first try, where you found it impossible to keep up.

That pissed you off to no end.

You had never struggled before, so why now?

You had tried befriending him at first, you really had. I mean, it would have been convenient to do so. Soobin runs around with your people, making him pretty unavoidable. But you had a lot more trouble tolerating him than you thought.

He was just so good at everything, so effortlessly. 

But you were determined to be better.

Which led to him becoming your self proclaimed enemy. 

Though, Soobin was pretty oblivious to this fact.

Often only engaging in petty arguments with you to see that beautiful smile don your face when you win.

Letting you snag his ideal photography spots so he can watch your side profile as you photograph the flowers he discovered.

Even volunteering for class debates so he can have an excuse to stare at you for an excessive amount of time. 

If it’s not obvious by now, Soobin has a raging crush on you. One that could only be bestowed onto him by demons from hell to be so cursed. Especially considering you disliked him so strongly for no real reason at all.

One would wonder just exactly how he got so unlucky. 

-

Photography club meetings were usually held at 5 in the afternoon, only 15 minutes after your last class ended. Which led you usually sprinting across the courtyard to make it to the art department in time.

Beomgyu and Ryujin had gone missing after class, again without explanation. Leaving you to tread the walk all alone. 

Not to mention that your class before was in the math building, on the opposite side of campus. Leaving you with a thin sheen of sweat usually covering you, probably leaving you smelly.

That’s what the perfume in your backpack was for though, and you were grateful for it. Glad you didn’t have to sit in there smelling like a wet dog.

Stopping right outside the room, you pull out the mini roller of your favorite perfume and start rubbing it on your neck and arms.

You fail to notice the figure approaching you as you cap the perfume and scramble to put it back in your bag.

“Oh hey-“

“Goodbye Soobin.” Is all you say before entering the classroom, barely sparing the tall boy a glance. You’re convinced he’s had enough girls ogling him all day, he’ll be fine.

He just trails behind you, a smile on his face. Like some sort of puppy (a lovesick one) following their owner.

Too bad you’re the only one who can’t see it.

This week the club president says you’ll be capturing portraits for members of the theater club, as their members are in need of head shots. Everyone nods along, you especially eager.

“It’ll be good practice! And some of you guys haven’t worked with a human subject yet, so this will be new!” Your president proclaimed with a cheery smile on their face.

You nod along, hoping you can get to the club first and pick the best subject. You had to outdo Soobin, these were going to be the best portraits ever. (Or at the very least, better than his.)

That’s all that’s going through your mind as you open the doors to the theater where the club meets. The sign telling you their meeting had ended as well.

You smile as you step into the room, cardboard and paints strewn across the floor. Lamps being painted along with garage sale tables that they are impressively restoring, for what you assume is their upcoming production.

You’re quickly approached by the president, who introduces himself as Juyeon. He’s actually quite frantic. “Excuse the mess, I forget we were going to have people come by.” He sheepishly smiles, as you reassure him that it’s fine. Though he seems embarrassed as he adjusts his glasses.

You two make small talk before he remembers why you’re there. “Oh I’m sorry, here let me get my vice, he knows who wants their photos taken.”

You nod as he walks away, must be a busy guy. 

You take in the other people in the room, wondering if any of them fit your vision. 

Did you want the boyish charm of Jake Sim? Or maybe the fierce model look of Huh Yunjin? How about femininity blast that was Isa Lee?

Juyeon returns fast with another boy by his side, who you assume to be the vice president. 

And to say he was absolutely gorgeous, was an understatement.

He seemed to be the fourth, indescribable option.

“Hi, I’m Hyunjin.” He says, nodding your way.

“Do you need your photos taken?” You blurt out. “By any chance?”

You smile nervously as he nods, “I do, are you interested?”

“Yes,” You laugh. “Sorry if I’m too forward but you are exactly what I’m looking for.”

Juyeon’s eyes widen, “Hyun-”

“Well you’re also exactly what I’m looking for.” The aforementioned boy winks.

Oh you had it bad, you weren’t even sure how to respond. It’s been a long time since you even flirted with anyone, you’re probably about to make a fool out of yourself.

“I-”

“Juyeon!” A familiar voice yells from behind you. You knew who it was right away, you always did.

“Soobin!” The other boy runs towards the front. How did he know Soobin? And vice versa? You swore that boy was involved with everyone.

“I have to go.” You smile. “Here’s my number, text me so we can meet up and arrange a time to take the photos.”

Hyunjin nods and you make your way out quickly, ignoring Soobins attempt at greeting you. You always wondered why he even bothered at this point.

Which is exactly what you rant to Beomgyu when you meet him back at your room. He didn’t even bother texting in advance, so he can consider this his punishment. (Really, you were halfway with your shirt off when he started shrieking, which caused you to scream cause you thought your room had gotten broken into.)

“And he just always show’s up at the worst times, like-”

“Wait,” Beomgyu interrupts. “Let me get this straight.”

That statement never means anything good, so you cross your arms as you raise a brow. Telling him to get on with it. 

“You meet this super hot guy, who like swept you straight off your feet, cinderella style, right? And we’re sure he was flirting with you..”

“Mhm.” You nod.

“And you’re meeting up with him soon, after you gave him your number?”

“Yes, Beomgyu, why are you being weird?”

“I’m not, just making sure I got this correctly.”

“Got what correctly?” 

“That despite meeting your ideal man today,” He pauses. “All you can talk about is Soobin.”

You scoff, he didn’t get it. “Complaining. I’m complaining about Soobin.” 

He rolls his eyes. “He’s still the only thing on your mind.”

You furrow your brows as you throw your jacket in his face. “You’re annoying.” 

Beomgyu just laughs as he rolls over on your bed, reading something on his phone.

And the sudden silence makes you uncomfortable, because he has a point. You should be daydreaming about the beautiful boy you met today, not reveling in anguish over Soobin again. 

“I’m gonna call Ryujin.” You speak up, about thirty minutes later. You close your laptop and turn to grab your phone, noticing Beomgyu is passed out on your bed. You knew he had been quiet for too long.

You pull the blanket over him and walk into your living room. Dialing Ryujins number, you sigh as it goes to voicemail. You remember that, unlike you and couch crasher Beomgyu, she had an active life. She was likely at a dance studio surrounded by other hot dancers, nothing new.

You’re about to head back to your room when you hear a faint knock at your door. Getting up, your mind reels on who could be coming to see you? You would expect Beomgyu, but seeing as he’s already here, you can’t say you know of anyone else.

And to your utter delight (Sarcasm) you’re met with Choi Soobin. 

“Hi,” He smiles. “Is Beomgyu here?”

You just look at him, but really look. The way his brown hair perfectly compliments his skin. The dimples that are so prominent when he smiles. His long eyelashes and his perfectly shaped eyes. 

His pink dusted cheeks. Wait, pink?

“Is there something on my face?” He asks nervously, putting his hands up to cover it. 

“What?” You ask, annoyance present in your tone.

“You were staring at me..”

“Shut up.” You speak, “I’ll get Beomgyu.”

Leaving him at the front door, you go and shake your friend, but to no avail.

“Psst, Beomgyu! Wake up!” 

“Five more minutes.” He replies groggily. 

You continue to shake him, “Ryujin,” He groans. “Just a few more minutes.”

“Ryujin?!” You shout, eyes widening. 

Beomgyu shoots up at that, “You’re not... Ryujin.”

Your jaw drops at that, “Why would Ryujin be waking you?!”

“Why are you yelling?” He responds.

“We will talk about this later.” You say sternly. “Soobin’s here and I want him gone.” 

“Why is Soobin here?” He questions.

“To get you.”

“We don’t have plans today.” 

They didn’t have plans? So Soobin just showed up to show up? What did he want anyways?

“Well,” You speak. “He said he’s here for you!”

“But-” He starts, and you grab him by his arm to drag him towards the door way. 

“Here he is.” You speak, ushering Beomgyu out. 

“Thank-” Soobin starts but is cut of by you abruptly shutting the door in his face. You sigh, before seeing that Ryujin was calling you. Oh did you have a mouthful for her. 

-

Picking at your food, you stare at your two friends in disgust. “You’re kidding right?”

Ryujin just smiles nervously, “He asked me to be his girlfriend.” 

You furrow your brows, “That’s nasty, keep it to yourselves.”

Beomgyu snorts. “I told you we should’ve kept it a secret!”

“Remember how upset she was when she found out we were hooking up? I figured we should at least come clean now. She’s our friend too.” 

“And I figured you two invited me here to talk to me, not about me like I’m not sitting right here.” You cross your arms.

Ryujins about to respond but you stop her. “It’s not a big deal, you two obviously like each other, and I’d be a shitty friend to be mad about it. Thank you for being honest with me.”

A huge smile grows on your friends face as he leans over the table to hug you. “I knew you were my best friend for a reason!” 

You laugh, Beomgyu eyeing you. “You jealous?” You say, sticking out your tongue.

He narrows his eyelids at you before joining the hug, you laughing even more. “My two idiots, who knew you two would be so good together?” 

“I did,” Beomgyu answers. “Duh.”

You playfully push him away as you notice a taller boy approaching you all. 

“Hi,” Soobin greets quietly, “Can I talk to you?”

You don’t look up until you notice the other two not responding, meaning he was addressing you. “No thanks.” You say, going back to your food.

He remains standing awkwardly, moving forward. “It’s important.”

“Is someone dying?” You respond sarcastically. 

“No, but-”

“Goodbye Soobin.” 

Ryujin looks between you two and grabs your wrist before you can leave. “He needs to talk to you.”

You stare back. “I’m not in the mood.”

“You and I both know he wouldn't be this insistent unless it was important.” 

Agreeing (although hesitantly) with her words, you motion for Soobin to follow behind you. He grins and rushes to catch up.

You two walk for about two minutes until you find a shadowed bench under a tree. You two sit down and you stare at him expectantly. 

Too bad he completely forgets what he was there for. He knew you were pretty, but now that he was this close to you, he could see every detail of your face. If only you knew the way he felt about you.

“Soobin.” You speak, snapping him from his daze.

“Oh, yes.” He says, and you watch him rummage through his bag. 

Then, in his hand, he holds out your favorite perfume roller. 

You just stare at it, had it fallen out of your bag? How had you not noticed? It must’ve been a few day’s that it had been gone. And why was it half empty?

“I’ve been trying to give it to you but..” He trails as you snatch it from his grip.

“Why is it missing so much? Geez.” You say, annoyed as you observe it.

“It spilled in my bag, was very hard to get out the smell out.” He explains and you just stare at him in disbelief. 

What would you even say to him? Thank him? Berate him? You weren’t sure.

“Well...” You start, rather awkwardly. “Thanks.” 

“No problem.” He smiles, hoping you don’t notice that he’s more nervous than usual. His hands shaky and his face getting redder by the second.

You just shrug and grab your things, “I have to meet Hyunjin, so I’ll see you later.” 

He nods, “Oh yes, good luck.”

You don’t usually give an explanation, but after he returned your favorite perfume to you safely, you felt you owed him a bit of kindness. He shouldn’t expect it from you again though.

He hated seeing you leave, but he loved watching you walk away.

Though, the boy was the last thing on your mind right now. Now your only mission was to find Hyunjin in the campus gardens, and so far you’re having trouble. 

You attempt to walk back to get a better view of the area but you happen to bump into someone. 

“Sorry!” You say, turning to face the boy you were looking for. 

“It’s okay.” Hyunjin chuckles, bright eyes reassuring you.

You two sit down for a minute as you do some minor touch ups to his face using makeup. “Just so everything will show nicely.” You explain excitedly. “You have beautiful eyes, I want to make sure they just pop!” 

“You have stunning eyes as well.” He says, looking straight into them. And at a proximity this close? You feel like you’re going to implode. 

“Thank you.” You squeak nervously.

After a couple adjustments you turn your camera on. And as soon as you look through the viewfinder, you see Hyunjin looking picture perfect, literally. You’re shocked to see him pose so well. “Have you done this before?”

He just shakes his head, “Why?”

“You’re a natural.” You smile, clicking your first photo. 

And the other photos that follow all come out extremely well. You turn the camera to show him and he nods. “These are great, you’re a natural as well.” 

“Not really, its been months of me trying to learn all the controls on this thing.���

“Really? I didn’t know that.”

“Well we don’t exactly know much about each other.” You shrug. 

He smiles, “I’d like to get the chance to.” 

Your heart stops in your chest, “W-what?”

“Let me take you on a date.” 

Your quick to shake your head, “I’m sorry Hyunjin, you’re really nice and all. But, I’m not looking for anything like that right now. I’m sorry if I gave off the wrong impression..”

He nods in understanding, “I understand, I’d like it if we could be friends though.”

And you agree.

-

“You said no to Hwang Hyunjin?!” Ryujin says, just a little too loudly for your taste. You attempt to shush her but she just stares at you with a dropped jaw.

“That’s what I just said Ryu!”

Beomgyu just about throws his head back in laughter. “Oh you idiot.”

“At least tell us why!”

You shake your head, “That’s the thing, I don’t know. I just don’t feel like we had a connection like that. And he doesn’t really even know me, he asked me out just cause he thought I was pretty. ”

“Well, hes trying to get to know you!”

“Guys like Hyunjin don’t get along with girls like me anyway.” 

“Girls like you?” Beomgyu questions.

“I’m too busy, like we’d never have time for dates or anything. I just can’t give him what he wants.” You explain. 

“You’re always so dodgy with boys, what are you so afraid of?”

“She’s just like this, always with the excuses.” 

“Enough!” You interrupt sternly. “Leave it alone.”

You wanted to explode. Why did it matter so much? Why couldn’t they just leave it be? You didn’t want to go on a date with Hyunjin, you two just didn’t seem compatible. Who were they to say anything. 

And with that, silence falls over the table. 

“I’m going to go, I have film to develop.” You say, standing up to gather you stuff.

“Hey- no, we’re sorry, please don’t leave.” Ryujin follows, and you assure her its okay.

“I just need a minute, I’ll text you later.” 

And you exit the building, your thoughts running a mile a minute. Had the library always felt so stuffy? Or was it just hot today? 

You sigh, heading straight towards the art building. 

A dark room and some silence would be ideal right now. 

So you’re put off when you open the door to the red tinted room and spot a figure standing there. You sigh methodically, “Is it alright if join you?”

“Of course.” He responds, and you recognize the voice as Soobin. 

Wonderful. Day ruined even more. 

You mutter a quick thanks and move over to place your roll in the baskets. 

“I’m almost done anyways, they just finished drying.” He shared. “Wanna see?”

Truth be told, you could truly care less to see. But, he was your competition, so you’d like an idea of what he did. “Sure.”

He passes the photos to you and you’re stunned to see, Juyeon? Out of his nerdy polo shirt and glasses, his hair done nicely, and sporting a smirk. He looked almost unrecognizable. 

“Juyeon looks so...” You begin.

“Different? Right? That’s the angle I was going for.” He explains.

“How so?” 

“Well you see, anyone can take photos of someone as photogenic as say, Hyunjin. But it takes real visionary to see potential in subjects like Juyeon, who really didn’t need much help at all. He just had to lose the glasses.” Soobin responds lightheartedly. 

You feel your eye twitch, “Did you just take a dig at my photos?” 

“What? No,” He denies. “I just meant we had two different outlooks that’s all.”

“And what?” You snap. “You assume your angle is better than mine?”

He shakes his head rapidly, but you’re already convinced. He’s backing up into the corner of the room as you get closer. “That’s not what I was trying to say.”

“I hate you.” You mutter out, closing the gap between you. “Everything about you has to be so perfect! It doesn’t make any sense to me!”

You don’t realize how close you’ve gotten towards him.

He’s backed up against the wall, and he has no idea what to say. So he does what seems the most rational with you being so close to him. 

He kisses you. 

You engage in the kiss, fiery and full of hate from your side. Though, all Soobin can feel is the passion, and he loves it. 

He delves the kiss deeper, your tongue slipping past into his mouth, he just can’t get enough. He wants to drown in you.

Then you push him away.

Breathing heavy, you stare at him with big eyes. “What the hell was that?”  

He pants as well, “I-I don’t know.” 

You furrow your brows, “Bye Soobin.”

You turn to reach for your bag before he stops you. “I know you felt it too.”

Blinking blankly, you turn back towards him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” But you’re lying, you know what he’s talking about. 

You didn’t want to stop kissing him. It felt so right. All of it.

But you can’t let yourself think that. 

“At least let me walk you home, It’s getting dark out.” He pleads, and you so desperately want to say no. 

“I’m a big girl.” You state. “I can handle myself.”

“I know you can, but I would feel better if I knew you got home safe.”

You give it up, “Fine.”

And he rushes to get ahead of you so he can hold the door open for you.

“You don’t have to be nice to me just cause we kissed.” You murmured. 

“I could say the same. You haven’t complained the whole time.” He says, and to be fair, it had only been five minutes that you both had been walking. 

Nevertheless, you ignored him. Choosing to stare at the sky, which you noticed had started to go grey. “Uhh, it seems like it’s going to rain.” You whine. 

“Look, my place is two minutes away from here. You can wait it out there.”

You throw your head back, you knew this was a bad idea. “Okay.” 

Never did you ever expect that you’d be going home with Soobin. Okay, so that wording might be a bit dramatic, but still. You were here, stepping into Soobin’s apartment after he fumbled with his keypad to open the door. 

It smelled like clean laundry and soap, which wasn’t a bad thing. Though, it was very prominent. Guess he was some what of a clean and tidy person. 

“Is it cool if I sit on your couch?” You ask. 

“Y-yes.” He answers. 

“You have Netflix?” 

“Not on this TV. Only the one in my room.”

“Who doesn’t have Netflix on their TV?!” You groan. How were you going to kill time now? Scrolling through Instagram? Candy Crush? You hoped putting on a movie would derail Soobin from speaking to you, or worse, further mentioning the kiss that had stayed unnerved in your body.

“We can...” He trails. “Watch it in my room.”

You sit up. “Are you sure?”

He avoids eye contact. “Yeah.” 

“Lead the way.”

He begins walking towards the hallway when you pass an open room. You notice a cage, not able to clearly see the animal, so you ask. “You have a pet?”

His face lights up. “Oh, that’s Odi! He’s a hedgehog.” 

You smile. “Can I meet him?”

He agrees and pushes the door open. “Oh, he’s sleeping.” 

“He’s adorable.” You comment as you get closer to the cage.

“Hey Odi, wake up.” Soobin whispers. “She’s here.” 

You look at him, confusion on your face. “Odi knows me?” 

His face begins to turn red. “I told him about your biology project. You know, the ecosystem you created entirely from toothpicks and crayons. Best presentation that professor had ever seen.” 

You nod, you remembered. But surprised that he also remembered. 

“I also told him about the documentary you made for your final project in health class. My favorite part was when you were on camera, showing us all the different medicines.” He says, not taking his eyes off his sleeping pet. Not enough to notice you staring right at him. 

That was months ago when you had done that. You had spent that entire night before editing it, making sure it was way better than Soobin’s. If it wasn’t for him, you probably wouldn’t have even cared that much.

“What else did you tell him?” You ask softly. 

“That you were the smartest girl I’d ever met.” 

You suck in a breath, trying to think of how to respond. 

“And the prettiest too. So pretty that all I can think about is how bad I want to kiss her.” He pauses. “I was excited to tell him that today I finally did it.” 

Soobin looks at you, and you think he’s going to kiss you again. And, you so badly want him to. But he doesn’t, instead he stands up. 

“My room’s this way.” He speaks, and you follow after him. 

He sits on his bed, searching around for the remote. He tries to stiffen a laugh as he comes up empty handed. 

“I can’t find the remote, sorry.”

You cross your arms. “Do you even have a remote?” 

“What?” He questions. 

“I don’t see a TV in here.” 

He freezes. “Uh- well.. I-” 

You cut him off. “You didn’t invite me in here to watch Netflix. Did you?” 

Before he can speak again, you notice something else. 

“My perfume?”

And there, on his desk sits a bottle version of your favorite perfume. And it’s halfway empty. 

“I can explain, it’s for my sister. She really-” 

“Stop lying.” You spout. “Either tell me the truth, or I’m walking out of here.” 

Soobin stays quiet as he weighs his option. Maybe he could think of another lie? Or? 

“Goodbye Soobin.” You threaten, ready to turn around. 

“No! Okay, here’s the truth. When the perfume fell out of your bag, and I picked it up.. It just smelled so good. So I sprayed it around my room so it could smell like you.” He squeaks.

“That’s not all, is it?” 

“I-I..” He stops nervously. “I sprayed it on my pillow and I would smell into it when I..” 

“When you what?” You demanded. “Say it! No time to feel guilty now.”

“When I would touch myself!” He admits, embarrassment covering his face. 

“And then?”

“When I returned it.. I couldn’t get off without it. So, I went and bought a bottle of my own.”

You raise your eyebrows. “And here I thought that maybe you really were this sweet guy. I knew there was something off about you. You had everyone else fooled, but not me. I know no one is perfect.”

He remains still, eyes looking towards the floor. 

“But I never would’ve guessed that you were a pervert who needed to smell me to get off. What, you would think about me too?” 

He doesn’t respond. 

“I asked you a question.” You sneered.

“Yes.”

“Oh don’t get all shy on me now. You weren’t shy when you were moaning my name as you touched your dick!” Then your eyes start to move, he was covering his crotch. 

“Oh my God, don’t tell me you’re getting turned on by this?” And he still won’t look at you. Shifting in his seat so you won’t see his painfully obvious boner. 

“Now you’re gonna show me.” You state and he stares.

“W-what?”

“You heard me. Show. Me.” 

Soobin can’t believe you’re really asking him this. His dream girl, standing right in front of him, degrading him to no end. He loved it. 

He slowly starts unbuckling his belt before you grab his hands and begin doing it yourself. “Stupid..Soobin..” You mutter, “Can’t even unbutton your own pants. This better be worth it.” 

And it was, as his aching dick flops out from his pants. You had never seen a dick so pretty, or so big. You were beginning to worry you may have gotten a bit ahead of yourself, would this even fit in your mouth? 

“W-what? Is it too small?” He asks nervously, afraid of why you were staring at it for so long. 

You look at the dumb boy above you, there was no way he didn’t know. Was there? You needed him in you, regardless of the fact that he knew it or not. 

You ignore the question and spit on his cock, rubbing it slightly over the slit. “I’m gonna suck your dick now.” 

And he can’t respond before you take him deep into your mouth. He lets out a breathy moan, before you start fondling his balls. God, he was in heaven right now. 

You pull off slightly, kissing the tip softly as you then begin to swirl your tongue around it. He whines, wanting to beg you to stop teasing, but he’s in no position to demand anything right now. 

You then take him back in, deep throating him as he starts squirming, you holding his thighs down to keep him in place. He’s pleading in incoherent mumbles, and you can tell he’s probably close. 

Pathetic, he’s about to cum just from a little head. 

“P-please.” He begs, and you pull off. 

“Not yet.” You say, moving to take your bottoms off. “I want to ride you.” 

Soobin thinks he’s going to die. 

But he’d die a happy man. 

With the way you climbed on top of him, after shoving him on his back, he imagine the view couldn’t be better. You kiss him on his neck. “ I’m gonna ride you until you’re cumming all over me, baby. Consider it an apology.”  

He moans in response, praying this isn’t all a dream. 

“Take your shirt off.” You instruct, leaning back.

“You first.” He responds, his words getting away from him, and you just about slap him.

“You’re not in control here, okay? I am, you owe me for being such a disgusting pervert. You’re lucky I’m even asking to stick your tiny dick anywhere near my pussy!” 

He felt so odd seeing you spout such vulgar words again, but he found it so attractive. 

Soobin follows your orders, throwing his shirt off of his head. You follow as you begin peeling your shirt off, before leaning forward. “Unclasp my bra.” 

He fumbles with the back for a couple seconds before his giant hands let your bra fall off your shoulders. “There we go, not so useless after all, huh?”

You take notice of his fingers, struggling to stay still as they shake. You’d love to see them inside of you, but perhaps that would have to wait another day.

Soobin wants to respond but hes cut off by you lowering yourself onto him, and hes never felt anything so good. You’re so tight, constricting around his dick immediately, wet and prepped just for him.

You moan out a little, careful to try and control them. You couldn’t let him know how good this was making you feel, you wanted him to be ashamed. 

His length was so pretty, angry red tip with a prominent vein running through the side. Not to mention you loved the way he stretched you out, unlike anything you had felt before, it was going to be hard to avoid him after this.

“So good.” You groan out in pleasure, your judgement impaired as you freely let a moan out. 

“So tight.” He reveals, nails digging into your thighs. 

You continue bouncing on his thick cock as he squeaks out again and again. Whimpering into the air “This is better than I imagined, fucked my fist to you so many times.” 

And that elicits a string of moans out of you, if only he knew what he was doing to you, you swear you could feel him in your stomach.

“Want to sit on your big cock forever.” You mutter into his ear as you place your hands on his shoulders, using them to pull you up. “Can I, please Soobin?” 

He thrusts up, hips quivering as he grinds into you. “Of-of course.” 

His hands wander lower, grabbing onto your boobs, twisting your nipple gently as you wince. He’s about to pull back when you grab his hand and keep it in place. “Don’t stop.” 

You only last a few minutes longer before the coil begins to form in your area, promising to burst any minute now. “I’m gonna cum.” 

“W-wait for me!” He stutters, looking into your eyes. “I’m so close.” 

You nod and he hisses, your walls swallowing him in so well. 

Gaining consciousness again, you pull yourself off of him. “You can’t cum in me.” 

Hes about to reply when you lean back and slip his dick into your mouth again.

“Oh just like that.” He exhales, before he releases his load into your throat.

You pull away and stare up at his cherry red face as you open your mouth to display the liquid in between it.

“Fuck.” He groans, you were so hot. 

You began playing with it, swirling it around with your tongue, letting it dribble down your chin. His eyes never leave you as you close your mouth and swallow proudly. “Yum.” 

Soobin wants to help you now, and hes eager to please. 

But before he can process whats happening, your thighs are straddling his head as you sink your plush down onto his face. He acts accordingly and swirls his tongue around your puffy nub. He wants nothing more than to see your fucked out face right now, but unfortunately, he can’t see much from there.

However, your beautiful moans made up for it.

“Fuck- YES!” You squeal as he dives his tongue into your heat.

“Perfect-AGH!-Yes just like that” You pant as you start chanting his name out.

Soobin, Soobin, Soobin, Soobin, Soobin.

Nothing else, just the thought of Soobin eating you out like you’re his last meal. Who knew he’d also be this good at giving head? 

Your thighs clench around his head, telling him your close to your climax.

He sucks on your area a bit and there it is, your beautiful release covering his face. You practically scream as you come down from your high, surely alerting his neighbors.

You hesitantly remove yourself from his face, legs shaking and all. Silently hoping he wouldn't think you cumming all over him was gross.

But he thought the exact opposite, he thought it was fucking hot.

“Can I shower?” You ask, still breathing heavy.

“Y-yes.” He responds. “It’s the first door on the left.” 

You look back at him. “I didn’t mean alone.” 

Yeah, he was done for. 

-

BONUS!

Ryujin was going to pull her hair out. “You and Soobin?” 

“What the fuck.” Beomgyu exclaims. “I was right?”

You sigh, “For once.” 

“Holy shit,” Ryujin speaks again. “You and Soobin.”

“You’re acting so blonde right now Ryujin.” 

“Well forgive me that you got dicked down by the boy you said you hated every single day! I have a right to be surprised.” 

“First of all, I didn’t get dicked down. I was very much up.” You nod.

“You’re a bigger idiot than I thought.”

“Soobin’s a bottom?!” 

[ryuluvr]

during the night.

idol ! ryujin x 6th itzy member ! reader (wlw)

warnings: fluff, mentions of nightmares, slight anxiety, intentional all lowercase

word count: 860

you were almost aware you were dreaming but couldn’t do much about it except wait it out, hoping your body wakes up sooner than later. this was definitely the worst nightmare you’ve experienced in a while, or at least since debuting with itzy a few years back. after multiple minutes of jumpscares within the nightmare you jolt up in bed with a loud gasp, immediately noticing how hot and clammy your body felt. your chest rises and falls rapidly, desperately trying to catch your breath with no success as you grip onto the duvet sheet which is still resting over your lap. you hear a slight rustle coming from across the room and you take another deep breath in.

“ryujin?” you stay pretty quiet despite only one other person being in the same room as you. you wait a few moments for a response.

“are you okay?” your roommates tone is sweet but slightly groggy. she did just wake up after all. ryujin is the member closest to you, emotionally and physically. you love the other members, but it’s different with her. she’s always deeply cared for you, and as much as you love and appreciate it, you simply cannot understand why she goes to the extent she does for you. although, you cannot complain… you have genuine feelings for this woman.

“im… okay.” you reply, your breath slightly shaky. your attention is quickly brought to the sound of movement in the room once more, but it’s too dark to see what’s happening. you jump as ryujin’s gentle hand rests on your shoulder, her whisper that follows being the only thing you can focus on in that moment. “hey, scoot over.” you immediately oblige and move yourself to the side, tapping the empty spot beside you. ryujin slowly slides into bed with you and pulls the duvet up to cover you both up to your chests, her arm then slipping under you and wrapping around your body, pulling you as close as humanly possible.

“you’re okay, i got you.”

after hearing her words you deeply exhale, happily cuddling up to her as your heart races, but now it wasn’t due to the nightmare. ryujin has always been big on touch… always holding onto your arms during dance practice and hugging you tightly every time she spots you in the area. hell, she’s even tried to feed you her food without letting you do it yourself. its confusing for sure, mainly because you’ve never had friends who act this way. her intentions have always been unclear but with every interaction your feelings grow stronger to the point where its truly impossible to ignore, and you have no idea what to do about it. you’re absolutely terrified of ruining the best friendship you have ever experienced.

you hum in content, ryujin’s arms making you feel as safe as always and the last thing you want is to leave her embrace when the morning comes. the silence in the dorm room isn’t awkward at all — it’s comforting. only she can make you feel this way. you eventually notice your breathing going back to a normal pace, and your body is no longer shaking. the discomfort has gone entirely, and this wouldn’t have been the case if you were alone.

ryujin runs her hands gently along the skin on your arms, tracing circles with her index finger while being careful not to catch you with her longer nails. after a few moments you notice the scent of her hair and her perfume too, both of which being coconut, and you cant help but smile to yourself because it suits her perfectly. you’re calm, but at the same time your mind is full — full of her, full of her soft touch and her angelic voice. you feel bad for it but in reality you want more of it, and you want it to be only you who experiences it, not a care in the world how selfish that may sound.

after spending what feels like an eternity contemplating it, you lightly lay your head on your roommates chest and bring your hand up a little to search for hers. once you feel your soft skin brush against hers, you bite down on the inside of your lip, nerves taking over your entire body. this is it, and you’re sure it’s easier in the dark than if you could see her. your fingers completely intertwine, gripping onto each other tightly like your lives depended on it, and you loved it.

“ryu?” you quickly whisper, ryujin’s thumb now lightly rubbing your hand in a comforting way. you so desperately want to ask a million questions such as, what does this mean for us? is this platonic? does she have feelings for me? will we go back to how things usually are in a few hours? you almost feel the need to confess — just let it all out here and now so you won’t have to worry about it any longer, but your thoughts are quickly cut short once the other woman parts her lips to respond. you notice her smile as she speaks.

“it’s okay, i know.”

eee my first writing post on here!! i was pretty nervous but thought f it!! this honestly reminded me of the hunger games catching fire, you know the “will you stay with me?” “always.” scene… oml. anyways i hope u enjoyed!! <3

[loeynely]

★ impurities ‹𝟹 yeji e ryujin 💿 - song 📦 › doada para hanyujin — em caso de inspiração, dê os créditos

[chaesvoguerice]

the right shade // ryeji

“So, that means you like it?” 

“Babe,” Yeji deadpans, eyes glued to her lover’s lips, “you’d better buy that.”

“Yeah? What about the other-”

The older’s grasp on Ryujin’s waist tightens. “Buy it. Now.”

“O-okay,” Ryujin stumbles, hurrying to the checkout line.

Yeji watches her as she leans against one of the black couches in the Olive Young, a toothy grin laid on her face as Ryujin glances back at her every few moments. She nods her head to the beat of some new group’s song playing loudly in the streets outside, crossing her arms expectantly as she waits.

Ryujin’s new shoes tap quickly on the hard floor as she waves the lipstick in the air. “Got it.”

“Good,” Yeji mumbles, grabbing her hand and dragging her outside, taking a brief moment to make sure Ryujin didn’t get hit by the door. And when they get out of that store, is when she can’t control herself any longer…

[im-yn-suckers]

cupids arrows; i wanna be me, me, me

pairing- not exactly enemies to lovers but along those lines. idol niki x idol fem reader park y/n (jays baby sister) (debuts in gg)

warnings- mentions of dinner, singing, dancing, fear

synopsis- flashback as jay's younger sister in school, you and your friend decided to audition for hybe at the age of 14. when you pass and she doesn't, you get selected to join a survival show. when your unnies and the one member younger than you debut and you don't, you are announced as the 8th member of enhypen. how does getting cheated on benefit the fact that you and niki aren't very fond of each other?

prev <;- m.list -> next

you divided the parts and practiced the dance. you practiced your singing and all learned your parts. it was time for dinner. you sat with you group and talked for an hour or so.

after dinner, you and se-un went to practice your lines. you got all of yeji's lines, rora and soo-ah got to split lia's lines, cho-gyung got ryuijin's lines, eun-sa got yuna's lines and se-un got chaeryeong's lines.

"unnie, are you happy with yejis lines?" ''yea, are alright with chaeryeongs lines, she gets the least lines in wannabe" "yea, maybe i can just show my dancing skills instead" "aslong as youre alright with it."

you and your group danced and sang live and the judges gave you feedback. evryone did well but needed a little work with making your vocals a little more stable.

the other groups dancing was a little weak and the people who were supposed to sing the high notes, were a little weak, min-cha failed at mias high note and soo-yeon just needed to push herself a little more to get siyhyeons note.

it was time for bed after all that practicing. it was currently 9:30 and lights out was at 11. you and se-un decided to practice untill 10:30 and then get cleaned up and sleep.

10:30 pm came sooner than you expected so you ans se-un went to get clean up and eventually sleep.

the next morning you guys had breakfast adn practiced until all of your vocals sounded stable.

"ladies, please go to the lobby for a special surprise!" yong-hee told everyone over the speakers and you sat down on the chairs in the lobby.

the screen turned on and five gorgeous women appeared on screen.

"All in us! hello, we are itzy!" everyone cheered and screamed at the sight of itzy introducing themselves.

"hello girls !! we heard that six of you are covering our song !! we feel really happy and are very excited to see your performance!!"

yejis words made you feel excited and giddy inside

"yes, speaking of your performance, we will be visiting so we can watch the performances. " lia spoke

"we wont be telling you when but we will definitely be here for rehearsals to give feedback before the performance." ryunjin smiled and chaeryeongs words."

"once again, we are so excited to see you perform our song, bye for now!!" yuna said goodbye and left all you girls screaming in joy.

fin(for now) yay an update!! byeee

taglist(open send an ask or comment to be added if i missed you please let me know !!): @annoyingbitch83 @j-wyoung @haechansbbg

[authorforrosie]

Title: You both discover her mommy issues. [Slight Mature.]

Pairing: Ryujin. | You. [GxG]

Warnings: Mommy issues in kink, make out, hickeys.

Words: 634.

You've been together with Ryujin since two years after being best friends for another one year before. When you heard about Ryujin creating a dance cover for a song by Billie Eilish. You definitely agreed to come along when your girlfriend invited you. Besides her friends also bandmates of ITZY.

You watch Ryujin Shin performing a dance cover of 'therefore I Am' with your jawline dropping. She looked so attractive in these black leather clothes. Oh how you wanted to wipe away the sweat of her skin. It looked too good.

Sweat dropped down towards the valley of her chest which was covered by the black leather. Everyone was definitely crushing on your girlfriend after that performance.

Applause could be heard everywhere when Ryujin finished the dance cover for Chatroom. Your girlfriend sat down next at you with an exhausted expression on her face.

You decided now it was the right time for a good attractive making out session with your girlfriend. She gasped when you moved your lips against her lips in a hot kiss. She gripped the back of your head where your baby hair are.

Her eyes closed when you kissed her more passionate. She deepened your kiss. Her lips pulled away from you. Once you both caught your breath she started kissing your neck.

Your eyes closed when Ryujin kissed the skin of your neck. Your heart fluttered and started beating faster. Butterflies could be felt in your stomach when Ryujin started leaving hickeys everywhere on your neck.

Ryujin groaned when she smelled her favorite perfume scent on your skin which has been the cloud perfume by Ariana Grande. Everything was moving in slow motion for you both since it was always you both against the whole universe.

She loved the sound of pleasure coming from your mouth whenever she left a hickey on your skin. Your body squirmed underneath her hands. She pulled you even closer towards her until no space was left in between.

You both was so close towards each other that you felt each part. Her front against your front. You definitely knew something that would cause her exhaustion to go away.

It was the perfect timing when her teeth's nibbles on sweet-spot of your neck. Your hand gripped onto her her hair which was styled in a ponytail.

„Mommy..." Groaned you with pleasure in your voice.

Your eyes opened when her eyes rolled at the back of her head.

Ryujin couldn't believe that you haven't called her 'mommy' before since she definitely had mommy issues.

„Y/N. Say it again baby girl." Purred Ryujin with pleasure in her voice.

„Mommy." Purred you with need in your voice.

Ryujin gripped on your hair as if she could've come right there and then. Her heart fluttered. Her cheeks flushed red.

„Now you will always call me mommy. Do you understand baby girl." Demanded Ryujin with dominance in her voice.

Your cheeks flushed red and the whole room felt too hot. Probably because of your very attractive girlfriend. Who definitely would be more dominant from now on.

„Yes. Mommy." obeyed you with submission in your voice.

Ryujin smirked when you went on your knees with red flushed red. Your eyes color definitely turned darkened with Lust. Which caused Ryujin to enjoy watching you being so needy for your mommy.

The rest of day she could only praise you whenever you called her 'mommy' after being a good or bad baby girl. Let's just say you definitely knew who was the dominant person in your relationship.

Her eyes closed to control herself when you purred 'mommy' which would be in moments when you really wanted something from her. She knew you had her wrapped around her fingers by now. Cause you will have to beg and use 'mommy.‘

[skzfairies]

KISSES WITH ITZY

warnings: might be a little suggestive — but no nsfw.

YEJI.

kissing yeji would be like coming home after a long and stressful day. as soon as her lips meet your own, you can feel all the pent up tension and frustration wash away, your body subconsciously melting in her arms. her feather like touches always make you feel like you are floating along with the clouds, away from any harm. she makes you feel at ease, safe and cared for. whispers of ‘did you eat today?’, and ‘how was your day?’ against your lips as she gives you a hello kiss — taking your coat and your keys from your hands. handing you a snack to eat with a quick kiss before she rests her head on your chest, leaving small kisses against your shoulder every so often — relaxing you even further. forehead kisses after you fallen asleep, pulling the blanket closer to your body and moving your hair out of your face, leaving one last loving kiss on your cheek before going to do the dishes. kissing is her love language — her way of saying ‘i love you and i care.’

LIA.

i think kisses with jisu would be short yet sweet. loads of forehead and cheek kisses when you see each other, and before you say goodbye. loving gazes and soft pecks, secret kisses in the shadows of the crowd. bringing your intertwined hands to her lips — leaving you flustered and shy. just overall very soft and adorable — it makes you feel like a lovesick teenager. like you both are everyone’s favorite underrated otp in the movie. you don’t want everyone’s eyes on you at all times — just being with each other is enough for you both.

RYUJIN.

kisses with ryujin would be playful yet passionate. leaving barely there kisses on you lips before pulling away with a smirk — only for you to pull her back in seconds after for a deep passionate kiss. she would grip your hips and smile into the kiss, chuckling when you pull away. “just cant have enough of me, can you?” she would ask — but you know that ryujin was only playing with you, she would pull you in for random kisses anytime, she craved to feel you lips against your own at al times. her kisses are slightly possessive as well — purposely kissing you with so much eagerness before you leave — it makes your lips red and bruises, that way everyone knew you had someone who loved you.

CHAERYEONG.

kisses with chae would be so comforting and encouraging. whispering small nothings and compliments against her lips after a particularly long day — telling her how proud of her you are and how loved she is. reassuring kisses when you know you won’t be able to see each other — telling each other everything would be okay without words. kissing your tears away when you’re upset, and sweet kisses before you go to sleep, telling you to dream of her. out of the blue kisses from her when the both of you are together, whispering “i love you” against your lips.

YUNA.

i imainge kisses with yuna to be silly and innocent. suprising you with a kiss and giggling into her hands when she sees your flustered expression, affectionately biting your shoulder before running away, a bright smile on her face. talking about your future under the stars — kissing with lopsided grins after one says something cheesy. big hugs and long kisses after not seeing each other for a long time, whispering that you missed her so much when you pulled away. counting the stars in her eyes and pecking her cheek, looking away when she looks over at you in embarrassment. constantly being shy and giggly, even if you had been dating for years. you feel like you are falling in love with her over and over again everday — your love will never grow old. it always feels like fresh, new and young love with her.

[kjmsupremacist]

pink (like the holes in your heart) (ryujin/yeji)

Yeji leads a completely ordinary life—she works in a cafe by day, and dances at a club by night. She has friends, and her life is good. For the most part, she's content. But one night, she meets a hot older woman, and opens a new world full of new dangers and new delights.

Chapter 1   |   next   mlist

Characters: Yeji, Ryujin, the rest of itzy

Genre: romance, fluff, angst, smut, age gap, stripper!au

Pairing: Ryujin/Yeji

Warnings: AGE GAP (older ryujin, younger yeji), d/s themes in smut, mommy kink, bdsm and general rough treatment, alcohol mentions, sex work (nothing wild)

Rating: Mature

Length: 4k

I put this disclaimer on all my age gaps - I don't condone large age gaps in real life as these relationships tend to have an imbalanced power dynamic. However, because this is fiction, I can warp the world to my liking and guarantee everything is the way I want. Also, it's fiction, and we're all just here to have fun. If you don't think you're going to have fun, you can leave the way you came. I promise it'll be fine.

listen to the official playlist here!

The day everything changes starts like any other day. 

Yeji wakes up around ten. It’s Monday, and she usually gets off work earlier on Sunday nights, since the cafe closes at eight instead of nine. And since she swore off working anywhere that sells coffee on Monday mornings, she gets to sleep in and take the day to get ready for her shift at the club. She puts her hair up just so it’s off her neck, and wanders from her bedroom to her cramped little kitchen, adding water to her coffee machine and turning it on, absently scrubbing at the handful of dishes she left in the sink the night before as she waits for her coffee to brew.

Coffee made and dishes washed, she makes her way over to her couch, sitting carefully and pulling up her texts on her phone to see what she missed when she was sleeping. Not much—just a text from Yuna saying she got home safe, and a text from Chaeryeong asking her to “call me and don’t stop if you don’t hear from me by three”. Yeji sets a reminder and folds her legs up into criss-cross-applesauce, reaching for her TV remote. If Chaeryeong doesn’t need to start getting ready until three, then she shouldn’t, either.

Chaeryeong dances at the same club Yeji does, though she’s been there longer and has a wider client base. That’s why Chaeryeong only works one job, while Yeji works two. It’s not necessarily that Yeji needs the cafe job—she’d survive without it—but she likes to have a backup plan. And besides, Yuna works almost all the same shifts she does, so it’s kind of fun. 

Yeji, though she’s a year older, graduated university at the same time as Chaeryeong. She had to redo a grade when she was younger, bedridden with a complication of illnesses. She spent a lot of time in the hospital that year, and missed way too much school to make up in time to move on with her age group. Since then, she’d just embraced being older than her classmates, and she’d made a couple of pretty good friends along the way.

Chaeryeong is the best of them. She was already working part time at their club, Crown, when they were still in university, so when they graduated and Yeji realized she wasn’t going to pursue a traditional career in music like she’d planned, Chaeryeong had vouched for her at Crown, and Yeji had been offered a seat at the table. She made herself indispensable quickly—she’s always been a talented dancer, so it wasn’t difficult for her to adjust. Besides, she likes performing, so it’s a win-win. At any rate, she brings in money, which is really all anyone can ask for. 

Crown doesn’t cater to a specific clientele—instead, they advertise what they have, which is mostly girls, and then whoever wants to show up can stay as long as they pay. As Chaeryeong had once put it, people are people and money is money. Yeji has to agree. Though she’s always identified as straight-ish, she doesn’t mind dancing for women. There’s something nice about it, something safer, so she can’t complain.

Yeji spends the day half-assing chores around her apartment and lying in bed scrolling social media, letting her brain melt inside her skull. She deserves it, she thinks, after last week. She’d taken on extra shifts at both the cafe and the club, so this week she’s going to take it easy. At least dancing is simple, and comes naturally to her, and she’s coming off a slow Sunday evening at the cafe.

Three rolls around; Yeji’s phone buzzes to remind her to call Chaeryeong, so she pushes herself up out of her bed, putting her phone on speaker and going to rummage through her closet as it rings.

“I’m up.” Chaeryeong sounds groggy. “Thank you.”

“Welcome,” Yeji replies. “Late night?”

“Yeah, we had a puker,” Chaeryeong says, disgust entering her voice. “I had to spend forever washing it out of my hair. Didn’t get to bed until, like, seven because I couldn’t find a ride home.”

Yeji makes a face as she pulls out a tight black bodysuit. It’s made of a satin-y material and has a heart cutout to show off her cleavage; she throws it on her bed and moves on to her shoes. “That’s gross, I’m sorry,” she says. “I dunno how it hasn’t happened to me yet.”

“You’re scarier, I think you intimidate the really drunk ones,” Chaeryeong says. “Or I just have really bad luck. What are you wearing tonight?”

“My black heart-cutout bodysuit, and I think my red pumps with the heart shaped heel?” Yeji pulls them out and holds them up to the light. “And I’m gonna put my hair up in those triangle minibuns.”

“Ooh, cute,” Chaeryeong gushes. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll wear white, then.”

“Virgin fantasy?”

“Virgin fantasy,” Chaeryeong confirms. “You know how they are. Okay, I have to eat, so I’m gonna hang up, but I’ll see you soon!”

“See you!” Yeji calls, digging through her bag to make sure she still has her makeup kits. Her phone beeps faintly; Chaeryeong has ended the call. 

* * *

The bus ride is pleasant. It’s still cold enough that Yeji can throw sweats and a jacket over her outfit, so no one looks at her funny when she sits down. Her shoes are in her bag, with a backup pair of black stilettos just in case. She knocks her Converse together at the heels as she waits, tapping in time to the music in her headphones.

Familiar shops blur by in the late afternoon light. It’s still early spring, so the sun is weak, but still Yeji has to squint at her phone. In their group chat, Chaeryeong has written, Yuna fighting! Tomorrow we’ll treat you to celebrate.

If my exam doesn’t kill me first, Yuna has written back, along with a string of various crying emojis.

Cheer up, Yuna! Yeji types. You’ll do fine! And no matter how bad it goes, just remember Chaeryeong got puked on last night, so it can’t be as bad as that.

Why would u say that, Chaeryeong sends.

Thanks guys, Yuna says. Yeji can almost hear her giggle. 

Yuna’s a couple years younger, and still in school. She works at the cafe around her class schedule, and spends a lot of her free time studying. She comes to the club sometimes over the weekend to surprise Yeji and Chaeryeong with dinner or some kind of treat, but it’s rare since she’s still a student and has plenty else going on—especially now, with midterms coming in strong. At least Yuna’s first final is for her math course, so she can get it over with.

Yeji realizes she’s only a few blocks away from her stop, and reaches up to pull the cord, standing carefully as they swing around a corner. She hikes her bag up on her shoulder, taking slow, measured steps to the door. The bus lurches to a halt, doors creaking open, and Yeji steps out into the brisk evening air.

It’s already loud and chaotic backstage when Yeji pushes her way inside. Chaeryeong is there, carefully applying some eyeliner in the mirror. She doesn’t look away from her reflection when Yeji approaches, just gives her a “hey”. 

Yeji unzips her jacket, shaking it off. “I like this,” she says, nodding to Chaeryeong’s outfit. “Is it new?” 

Chaeryeong twists a little, trying to show her lacy crop top and panty set off without standing. “Yup,” she says. “Got it two days ago. I just hope I don’t get puked on again tonight, I don’t know how I’ll get the stains off.” She shudders; Yeji makes a sympathetic face.

“I have a stain remover stick I swear by, Judy,” one of the other girls, Karina, says from Chaeryeong’s other side. “You’re welcome to borrow it if something happens—you too, Lucy.”

“Thanks,” Chaeryeong says warmly.

They use stage names just to protect their privacy—and to make themselves more memorable. One- or two-syllable names are usually best, though clearly it isn’t a hard and fast rule. Aside from Chaeryeong, Yeji doesn’t know any of her coworkers real names, and they don’t know hers. She’s sure with time, some of them would become her friends, but she’s only been here for about six or seven months.

Yeji changes her shoes and then shoves everything but her makeup into her locker and sits down next to Chaeryeong. The noise around them swells as more girls show up, as more fashion emergencies occur, as drinks get passed around. Yeji takes only one. She likes to stay lucid unless it’s a special night. Besides, all she does is dance. Even in the private rooms, her clients know not to touch her unless she tells them to, so there’s no need for liquid courage.

That’s the other thing about Crown: it’s safe. Mom runs a tight ship, and she doesn’t hesitate to ban customers who make her girls feel uncomfortable. She also doesn’t have qualms with firing girls for causing drama, even if they’re good performers. Though she can be strict, they all know it’s for their own good, and that she has their best interest in mind. Plus, she usually brings them pre-show snacks.

A mini croissant appears under Yeji’s nose. “Hi, Mom,” she says, meeting her eyes in the mirror. Just like the rest of them, Mom’s real name is unknown. She’s just Mom.

Mom smiles. “Hi, baby,” she says. “Eat up. We haven’t done carbs in a while, and some of you are getting too skinny. Can’t dance if you don’t eat.”

“Thanks,” Yeji says, accepting the croissant and tearing into it happily. It’s flakey on the outside and soft in the middle; Mom must have baked them herself just this afternoon.

Yeji has a solo stage tonight, so she spends a little extra time to make sure her makeup is perfect. Luckily, the newbies are opening while they wait for the club to fill, so she has a little more time to fuss in the mirror. Chaeryeong stays back to help her with her hair, even though she could be out pulling clients.

“You have a solo,” she says when Yeji protests. “And half an hour isn’t going to bankrupt me.”

Yeji is waiting in the wings when her name is announced; she strolls onstage, waving to a few regulars she recognizes before immersing herself in her dance. Her only prop is a chair—unlike Chaeryeong, she’s not good enough at pole yet to base a whole routine around it—but the small crowd that’s formed around the stage presses closer. She can feel the warmth of their bodies when her choreography brings her closer to the front.

She’s breathless by the time her set ends. Luckily, cleanup isn’t necessary, so she slips backstage to touch up as the next girls come on. The club went digital some time ago, so any tips are made through devices around the room and at tables. Though it takes some of the old-school fun out of it, it’s efficient, and definitely more secure. After deductions, it all goes into their weekly paychecks, which are deposited into their accounts every Tuesday. Some clients still like to tip in physical cash, but that rarely happens for stage performances. It’s usually reserved for private dances, where they can be sure the money ends up in the right hands. 

Yeji wanders through the crowd, pausing to watch the girls currently on the stage for a moment, smiling to herself faintly. Though it’s loud, the bass thrumming through her entire body, there’s something peaceful about this. It’s her second home, where she gets to do what she loves, where she’s surrounded by other girls who love the same things. 

“It’s Lucy, isn’t it?”

Yeji turns, blinking at a woman standing just a foot away. “Yes,” she says, smiling to cover up her surprise. Though it’s not the first time, Yeji is rarely approached by women. Maybe it’s the hair today; sometimes men are put off by complex looks. “What can I do for you?”

“I think I’d like a dance.” The woman is sizing her up, almost, as she says it. Yeji takes the opportunity to look her potential customer over. She’s about the same height as Yeji, though a little shorter, even without the heels. She’s wearing white slacks and a silky blue button down dress shirt. Her hands are in her pockets, and some of her black hair falls into her face, casting shadows. Yeji can’t quite be sure, but something tells her this woman is older than her—by a pretty significant margin. No matter. People are people, and money is money. She’s pretty, age aside; maybe it’s this that makes Yeji’s heart stutter in her chest. 

“A private dance?” Yeji asks.

“Mm,” the woman hums. “I’d rather not share. I’ve been told I don’t play well with others.”

Yeji giggles; she would’ve even if the joke wasn’t funny, but this is genuine. “Let me bring you to the bar, then,” she says, reaching out a hand. “One of our boys will get us all set up.”

Instead of taking her hand, though, the woman offers her arm instead. Yeji takes it, somehow flattered. Hand-holding is for kids; being offered an arm feels much more sophisticated.

Yeji’s given the key to one of the rooms about halfway down the hall. She hooks her finger around the keyring and leads the woman towards the back. “I haven’t seen you here before,” she says as they walk, just to make conversation. “Is it your first time?”

“No,” the woman says. “But I’ve only been coming for a couple of weeks. I don’t go out much.” Yeji looks at her and sees her smiling. “I’m too old to be going out every other night.”

“You don’t look that old to me,” Yeji says, truthfully. Sure, she clocked her as older, but she would be surprised if she was a day over thirty-five. “You have beautiful skin.”

The woman laughs softly. “Thank you,” she says. “You don’t need to flatter me, though.”

“I mean it,” Yeji insists. “It’s better than mine.”

They stop in front of the door; Yeji extracts her arm so she can unlock the door. “I doubt that, but I’ll take it,” the woman says. “But I didn’t come here for flattery. I came here to watch a very pretty girl dance for me.”

“I know,” Yeji says, holding the door open for her with a smile. “Please, make yourself comfortable. Would you like to order anything?”

The woman shakes her head. “I’d like to remember you,” she says simply, and a shiver runs all the way up Yeji’s spine. Something in her tone sits with her, or maybe it’s just the way her gaze is dark and heavy. Yeji can feel it still, even with her back turned. 

Yeji rarely actually gives a full, honest-to-god lap dance, just because it kind of limits her. There’s only a certain set of moves you can do when you’re trapped in someone’s lap. She’ll get up close, but she doesn’t often do what she’s about to do now. 

Yeji turns the volume down on the speakers before hitting play, then turns and crosses the room to her client. She sinks a knee into the plush leather of the couch, just inches from the woman’s thigh. She rolls her hips forward, reaching one hand out to the back of the couch to help her balance. “This okay?” she asks softly. “You can touch me, you know, I don’t mind.” Yeji doesn’t really know where this is coming from, either; usually she just guides her clients’ hands to her hips and moves out of range if they try to touch anywhere else. But she wants this woman’s touch everywhere. “I’ll tell you if I don’t like it.”

The woman doesn’t need any more encouragement. She brings one hand up to Yeji���s waist; the other she slips through the gap between Yeji’s hip and arm, laying her palm flat against the small of Yeji’s back as she lowers herself onto the woman’s lap.

The music thrums in Yeji’s ears like a second heartbeat as she gathers the courage to look the woman in the eyes. It’s not difficult, usually, but something about this dance has been different since the beginning. It’s not fear or anxiety, though; it’s a thrill of something else, something sweeter. Something darker, too. Yeji meets her eyes and finds her watching, waiting, like she knows what Yeji’s going to do next before Yeji does.

“Never give them power over you.” It was the first pointer Chaeryeong gave her. “They pay us, yeah, and if they like it, you can act submissive as much as you want—especially if it’ll get you a good tip. But it has to stay make-believe, do you understand what I’m saying?” This kind of intensity is rare from Chaeryeong, so Yeji nodded her head. “No matter how much you think you like them. They come here to escape into a fantasy. You come here to work. The instant you find yourself slipping into the fantasy too is when you’re in trouble.”

Yeji fights to keep her head above it. Sometimes, she’ll catch herself and brush it away, but it’s easy, it’s always so easy. So why is it hard now? She grinds into the woman’s lap, trying to hide how badly she wants more without coming off as timid, bringing her free hand up to the woman’s cheek. “What do I call you?” she asks softly. “You never told me your name.” Usually, when that happens Yeji’ll just call her client something like baby. They like the intimacy of it. But somehow, that doesn’t seem right here. This woman isn’t her baby, no matter how good Yeji is at playing pretend. 

The woman’s smile is lazy, though her eyes are sharp and keen. “What do you want to call me, babygirl?”

Yeji is glad for the red lights; they hide her blush. “I dunno,” she admits, trying to keep her tone coy. “That’s why I’m asking.”

“Hm.” The woman runs her thumb back and forth over Yeji’s hip bone. “I like to be called a lot of things. Miss is good. Ma’am is better.” She pauses, cocking her head, like she’s trying to gauge Yeji’s reaction. “Mommy is best.”

“Mommy,” Yeji breathes immediately, not even to please her, just because she wants, wants to say it. It feels right. 

The woman’s smile grows. “Good girl,” she says softly, and Yeji thinks her body might be on fire. Nothing’s felt like this—and isn’t that pathetic? Nothing, not all the boys she’s kissed, not any of the crushes she’s had, certainly not any of her other clients.

“Yeah?” she asks. It comes out more breathless than she means it to, heart pounding in her chest, in her head. “You like it, mommy?”

“I do,” the woman agrees. “Perfect for me, such a good dancer.”

Never give them power over you. Chaeryeong’s voice is in the back of her head, a warning. No matter how much you think you like them.

But, oh, Yeji doesn’t think Chaeryeong’s ever met someone who made her feel like this. It’s like the ocean tide, Yeji’s wanting, helpless against the gravity of the moon, waves cresting slowly, so slowly she didn’t even notice at first. Not until now, not until she’s seconds away from going under.

So what? Yeji thinks. Why not, just this once?

She can’t look away, can’t tear her gaze from the woman’s eyes. There’s no sharp edge to the way the woman is looking at her now; it’s all gentle, all careful intent, like she knows she’s already caught Yeji. She doesn’t have to try anymore—not that she had to try very hard to begin with. Yeji was hers from the beginning.

The minutes blur together. Yeji lets her body take over; dances like these are easy to her now. All she can see are this woman’s eyes, always clear, always watching, even when they’re half-lidded. She murmurs praise Yeji just barely registers, head already too full of everything else. Her hands are hot on Yeji’s back, her hips, her thighs, and still it’s not enough; with a jolt, Yeji realizes what she really wants. A vision of this woman above her tears into her mind, her smile, her lips, her fingers, her—

Yeji stifles a gasp, but the woman’s eyes flash anyway. Her fingers twitch, and for one instant, Yeji allows herself to imagine that she wants it too—all of it, every scene of the movie that’s playing in the back of Yeji’s mind. She leans close, chasing it, and feels the hot wind of the woman’s breath on her cheek, and shakes.

And then the song ends, and Yeji is wrenched from a dream. She crawls off the couch, almost staggering, like she’s drunk, only all she’s had today is water. She blinks, and the woman blinks back. She’s smiling, Yeji realizes.

“Do you work here most nights?” the woman asks, reaching for her pockets.

Yeji nods, trying to find her voice, trying to find her way back to earth. “Usually,” she manages, hoping she comes off as flirtatious instead of awkward. She doubts it works, but she gets points for trying, right? 

The woman produces a wad of bills; standing, she presses them into Yeji’s hands. “Thank you,” she says, “for the dance.” 

The words are lodged in Yeji’s throat. She shouldn’t ask. She should accept the money, thank her, say goodnight. But she can’t help it. “Will I see you again?” she asks as the woman opens the door, holds it for her. “Mommy?”

The woman smiles, following her back out into the hall. “I think you will,” she replies. “I think I want to see you again.”

Yeji doesn’t know why the relief sluices through her like poison, why it makes her weak. She nods again. “I’d like that.”

They’re nearing the floor now; the bass pounds, loud and demanding. But Yeji doesn’t miss the woman’s smile as she peels away, wide and expectant. “I’d like that, too,” she says, and then she turns and walks across the room, leaving Yeji alone with a stack of bills growing sweaty in her palm. She watches as the woman makes her way towards another woman her age, as they link arms, as the other woman gives her a kiss on the cheek. Yeji’s heart sinks. Of course she has a partner, of course she’s out on a date. Why would someone older, someone so beautiful, be alone? And why should Yeji care? A lot of her customers have partners; why does this feel different? Yeji watches them leave, eyes almost unblinking as they follow the two women out the door.

“Oh my god.” It’s Chaeryeong, at her shoulder. Yeji startles, tearing her gaze away from the exit. The music floods back into her ears; she doesn’t know when she stopped hearing it. “Is that your tip? Those are hundreds.”

Yeji stares at her for a second, and then brings the bills up to her eyes. Chaeryeong is right; five one hundred dollar bills are growing sweaty in her fist. “Yeah,” she says faintly. “I guess they are.”

“Did you check them?” Chaeryeong asks, tugging her towards the register.

Yeji’s stomach flops. “No,” she admits. “I… I…”

Chaeryeong’s gaze turns from shock to concern. “Are you okay? Did you drink something, or…?”

Yeji shakes her head, handing the bills over to one of their servers to verify. He checks it over, under a flashlight, then a UV light. At long last, he hands them back, shrugging. “They’re legit. Congratulations, Lucy.”

“Thanks,” Yeji replies, folding them and slipping them into her bra. Chaeryeong is still staring. “What?”

“Who was that?” she asks. “Did you get her name?”

Yeji shakes her head. She feels like she’s floating, her mind far away, swimming in that woman’s waters. Mommy, she thinks. She thinks about the warmth of her palms. “No,” she replies dimly. “I don’t know.”

[hwang-yejis]

intro！

helloooo! im a fairly new kpop gg fanfic writer! looking for moots <333 🍉

ao3

twitter

my ult groups are itzy (ryeji, chaerji, yejisu, jinlia and ryuyeong) and gidle (mimin, sooshu and misoo)

info

she/her, 18+

minors and men dni

everything i write is strictly fictional!

i don’t just reblog/post kpop stuff, also fixated on general poetry/literature stuff or sapphic yearning 😭

i am open to requests/prompts! or pls just send me asks in general !

yeji and miyeon bias :3 but itzyot5 and idleot6 forever <3

other stuff

i also read and may write fics in the future for (biases):

twice (sana, jihyo, jeongyeon, nayeon, dahyun)

le sserafim (chaewon, yunjin)

ive (gaeul, yujin, wonyoung)

stayc (isa, yoon)

blackpink (jennie, rosé)

kiss of life (natty, belle, julie)

loona (chuu, yves)

nmixx (haewon, lily, sullyoon, jinni, bae)

[posies4rosie]

Recenter (Stuntman!Ryujin x Reader)

Synopsis: You got stressed while rehearsing stunts for your latest film. Your girlfriend, Ryujin, was always there to comfort you.

Word Count: 640~

A/N: very obvious what inspired this fic in the first place. lol.

thank you for reading <3

likes, reblogs and comments are always appreciated

============================

You thought you were never going to get this sequence right.

Sure, it all sounded simple enough: A kick here, a dodge there, a disarm followed by a body slam. Stuff like that.

But to execute all of it in a series of flawless movements... Let's say you were struggling to learn everything within the limited given timeframe.

Being an actor, you weren’t a stranger to action scenes or doing your own stunts. But for this project, the team created several intense fight scenes for your character to do.

Since you were a sucker for authenticity, you agreed to do them yourself instead of asking a stunt double to do the job for you. All which lead to your current predicament.

You’ve been rehearsing non-stop for hours, getting more and more frustrated at your own mistakes. Thankfully, the stunt team you were working with patiently guided you through it all.

“How about we take a break then continue later?” one of the team members suggested. You nodded, feeling the exhaustion kicking in.

Shuffling over to a chair in the corner, you plopped into it and closed your eyes.

*****

“Hey babe.” A voice sounded next to you. You groaned.

“Not now, Ryujin.”

“Aw. Somebody’s grumpy.”

Shin Ryunjn, one of the members of the stunt team, was your girlfriend. The two of you met while you were doing filming for your last project, and you both started dating not long after that project wrapped up.

Leaning forward, you rubbed your sweaty face.

“You saw me today, I kept fucking up.”

If you weren’t so tired, you would’ve perhaps screamed. But instead you sigh, deflated.

“I’m not sure if I can do this.”

Ryujin was silent.

A pair of hands— Ryujin’s hands— appeared from behind you and gently coaxed you to sit up. Those hands then started massaging your shoulders, digging into tight muscles and chasing the stress away.

You cracked one eye open to look up at your girlfriend, who bent down to give your forehead a peck.

“Thank you.”

“It’ll be okay, just relax for now” she murmured.

And you did.

*****

After a while, you felt her shift around.

Curious, you opened your eyes. You saw that she had moved, so she was now sitting on the ground in front of you.

“Hey.”

“Hey yourself.”

She looked at you softly.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, jyagi. You still have time to figure it out.”

“Everyone’s impressed by how much you improved these past few weeks. You can ask the others if you don’t believe me.”

“You are amazing, Y/N.”

She poked at your knee, looking mischievous.

“If you’re really unsure about it. You also have me, your personal punching bag to practice on.”

Hearing that, you snorted.

“I’m not sure how that could help me with practice.”

“Don’t worry, love. I’m sure my face can take a few hits.”

“That face of yours is your only redeeming feature, Shin Ryujin. I’d hate it if something happened to it.”

“Hey!” She playfully swatted at you.

You chuckled, feeling much better than before.

*****

One of the team members came over to let you know that break time was over, so you and Ryujin got up and readied to get back to practice.

Before that, you grabbed her sleeve and pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you.” you whispered.

“I’m always here to help.” she rubbed your back reassuringly.

Not wanting the team to wait, you gave your girlfriend a gentle squeeze, then broke away to join the others.

“Hey, Y/N.”

“Yeah?” you looked back at her.

“If it helps, though.” Ryujin wagged her eyebrows.

“My girlfriend looks very hot kicking ass.”

“Shin Ryujin!!”

She threw her head back and laughed. It was boisterous, and you loved her for that.

Shaking your head, you grabbed her hand and tugged her along.

And the rest, was history.