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rocorambles · 3 years

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Set My Heart Ablaze

Pairing: Matsukawa x Reader

Genre/Warnings: NSFW, Non-Con/Dub-Con, Creepy Matsukawa, Obsessive Behavior, Public Train Sex

Prompt: Chikan/Trains/Public Sex

Summary: Neither of you can deny the mutual spark of interest between the two of you, but Matsukawa takes the matter of turning that spark into a fire into his own hands. Only time will tell if that fire will provide you warmth and comfort or burn you alive.

A/N: This is my submission for the HQHQ NSFW Collab! Masterlist can be found here. Be sure to check everyone’s content once the masterlist goes live tomorrow night~

The train doors open and Matsukawa briefly glances up, smiling to himself as you step onboard, looking left and right for an open spot despite how you always end up in the same corner of the moving vehicle. He doesn’t know anything about you, not even your name. Yet he finds himself drawn to the normalcy you bring, the comfort of knowing you’re a clockwork fixture of his everyday life.

It hadn’t always been like this.

Matsukawa is just a man at the end of the day and he doesn’t deny that he took note of you long before you became so ingrained in his life. But it had been no more than a man observing an attractive woman and he doesn’t give you another passing thought as he returns to gazing out the train windows.

But working with death on a daily basis makes you look at life differently.

He prides himself on being a practical and level-headed man and despite the heavy nature of his profession, he never thought he’d get too bogged down by the environment, by the grimness of his business. Sure, maybe someone like Oikawa would freak out within hours, if not minutes, of being in a funeral home surrounded by corpses and coffins. But he’s not Oikawa (thank God for that). It’s just a job to help keep a roof over his head and food on the table.

But the longer he’s surrounded by caskets, the more grieving and sobbing families and friends he has to comfort yet professionally guide through catalogs and brochures and price tags, he can slowly but surely feel the weight of his daily work resting heavy on his shoulders, digging deeper into him with every corpse and tragic story he reluctantly becomes privy to. Matsukawa finds a new appreciation for life, for every tiny and minute detail, and suddenly you aren’t just another stranger who happens to share his train route.

You’re a reminder that he’s still alive, that despite the curveballs life throws at some, he’s still blessed to enjoy the routine and monotony of it. Life looks different, clearer, as he begins to really pay attention, appreciating every moment he has.

Maybe he’s paying too much attention. He doesn’t know when he begins to focus so intently on you, shocking himself with the realization that he’s observed you so closely when he nonchalantly notices that you’re using a different tote bag than your usual one. When did Matsukawa Issei become someone who notices the details of a woman’s outfit and accessories?

He knows it’s not right, knows even Hanamaki would crinkle his nose in distaste if he found out Matsukawa was creepily studying a random unknown female on a daily basis. But he can’t help himself, his realization only seeming to make him unconsciously focus on you even more. He notices what hand you use to hold your phone. He memorizes every expression you make as your mind drifts off, lulled by the machinery of the train.

But looking from afar only satisfies him for so long and he finds himself creeping closer to you, adjusting where he sits to be closer to your preferred corner of the train. He always tells himself just a little closer, but it’s never enough. And although he’s now standing right beside you, close enough to see every eyelash, every pore of your skin, it’s still not enough. He needs to hear your voice, feel your body against his, know everything about you inside and out.

He understands the irony of the situation he’s found himself in, reminiscing on how Hanamaki and him had gagged at how disgusting men could be as they watched older businessmen grope and grab at poor unwilling female passengers on their way to and from school. He knows how wrong it is, how like an uninspired porno this is, but when the train conveniently rattles, he jostles his body into yours, “accidentally” bumping into you.

Acting isn’t Matsukawa’s forte, but he thinks he damn well deserves an award for the performance he’s putting on as he profusely apologizes to you, hiding the groan of satisfaction he feels from the brief contact he’d had with you, from the way your attention is solely focused on him, from the way your voice seeps into his ears like the loveliest melody he’s ever heard. He doesn’t even know what he’s saying, meaningless small and polite talk leaving his lips as his mind focuses on what’s more important, mentally recording every syllable and movement you make as you continue conversing with him. But whatever words are spilling out of him seem to be working and something hungry and possessive stirs in him when your face lights up as you board the train the next day, making a beeline towards where he stands as you cheerfully greet him.

Maybe it’s foolish of you to so easily trust and warm up to a complete stranger. But he’s tall, attractive, and interesting, which is more than you can say for most of the men you’ve met and your friends and family are always telling you to put yourself out there more. Is there really much of a difference between finding a random stranger on the countless dating apps you’ve installed versus connecting with one in person? You’d even argue that there’s something whimsically romantic about how the two of you met, even though you don’t know for sure if this is really going to lead to anything. But at the very least, your daily commute becomes more exciting.

You’re everything and more compared to what Matsukawa had imagined and if he thought he was infatuated with you before, he’s completely and utterly obsessed with you now. You’re all he can think of, all he can see in his mind’s eye, even hours after you’ve parted ways on your morning commute, even as he lays in bed in the middle of the night. And as his hand slips underneath the hem of his boxers, wrapping around his aching cock to his imaginations of what you’d look like writhing underneath him, how you’d sound moaning his name, he knows he needs to have you.

After all, as pretty as a meal can be, it’s ultimate purpose is to be devoured.

You giggle when the train shakes and you feel a long toned body shift into yours, squishing you against the wall you’re leaning against, sighing in bliss at how right, how good it feels to be in Matsukawa’s embrace even if it is just for a fleeting moment, a little accident all too common on jam packed trains. But your face heats when you continue feeling his warmth, when his body seems to press even further into you until you can feel the expanse of his body against yours, not even an inch of space left between you.

“Matsukawa-”

Your words are caught off by a gasp as Matsukawa buries his face in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent, lips and tongue mouthing and licking the sensitive skin there. You’re confused, scared, and aroused, hands reaching up to clutch at the lapels of Matsukawa’s suit, unsure whether to hold him tight to you or push him away. And your humiliation only increases when a nearby elderly couple scowls at the two of you in disdain, clearly unamused by the scandalous gestures of what they believe to be a young couple in love.

Yet you can’t help how your heart beats faster, wondering if this is proof of Matsukawa’s attraction to you, wondering if your hidden feelings for him are returned. But this isn’t the time or place for that conversation and you fervently whisper in his ear, begging him to stop, telling him people are watching.

“Is that the only reason you want me to stop? Because people are watching?”

You grow flustered at the implied meaning of his words, shame filling you at how much you’re enjoying this, hating how your neck arches for more attention as he straightens up once more, his body hiding yours from view as he stands in front of you, still pinning you to the wall.

“Better be as still and quiet as you can, sweetheart.”

You don’t have time to register his words before your mouth opens in a pathetic whine as a calloused hand trails under the hem of your shirt, sliding across the stretch of your stomach, mapping your torso before finally shoving your bra above the swell of your breasts, kneading one of your mounds, tweaking and swirling around your hardening nipple. It feels so good and you almost succumb right then and there, lost in the predatory lustful gaze he pins you with.

But when the train makes its next stop, the conductor’s voice jars you from your trance and you clutch at Matsukawa’s forearm, silently pleading for him to stop with desperate eyes despite the way you quietly mewl when he just quirks an eyebrow and pinches your nipple in retaliation.

“We can’t- We shouldn’t-”

Your hand trembles, jaw going slack when he slides one thigh between your legs, digging his hard muscles into that already dripping hole only protected by the fabric of your pants.

“You’re not very convincing. How about we play a game? If you can tell me you don’t want this without moaning like a bitch in heat, I’ll stop.”

There’s no room for disagreement as he abruptly begins grinding his thigh into your aching cunt, flexing and relaxing his muscle in a pattern and rhythm you can’t keep up with. It takes every last bit of will power in you to not wantonly ride his leg and hump against him like the lewd slut he had just accused you of being.

“I don’t want-”

You cry out in agonized pleasure as his fingers still hovering near your breasts begin to roll your nipples between calloused tips, his thigh never losing its momentum. And under the dual points of attack, your resistance crumbles. Matsukawa’s eyes widen in awe as you bounce and roll your hips against his leg, hiding your face in his chest as you try to muffle the lewd sounds slipping past your lips in the fabric of his jacket.

You’re gorgeous like this, a needy, lustful mess. But as much as he loves to see you suffer so beautifully, there’s only so much time before your stop and he decides to have mercy on you, to reward you for being so honest, so good for him. Your face snaps up to stare at him with pupils blown wide as his hand reaches underneath the waistband of your pants and panties. He groans when his fingers are instantly soaked in your arousal, your panties sticky with your fluids and his digits slip inside of your tight wet heat with no resistance at all.

He wants nothing more than to push the pesky fabric out of the way and lay you bare for his viewing pleasure, to have easy access to thrust in and out of you. But he’ll save that for another day. Instead his fingers slip out of you, tips circling your swollen clit, rubbing your sensitive bundle of nerves as you resume humping his leg, body trembling, drool beginning to trickle from your lips as you frantically chase your end. And as the train stops once more, passengers trickling in and out, you silently scream, body convulsing as he brings you over the edge, pleasure washing over you and leaving you exhausted as you shiver and slump in his arms that are quick to embrace you and hold you steady as the train begins to move again.

You submissively let his fingers coated in your essence enter your mouth, obediently sucking and licking him clean, finding strange comfort in the action as you remain rested against him. But you keen in confusion, cheeks still hollowed as you mindlessly continue sucking while he guides one of your hands to the bulge in his pants.

But although Matsukawa is a man of few words, his desire is clear despite the silence and your face heats in embarrassment as he unbuttons his trousers, bringing your hand to the waistband of his boxers, dark eyes expectantly staring down at you. You shouldn’t. You really shouldn’t. Not when you can literally hear the other passengers surrounding the two of you, only Matsukawa’s tall frame hiding your illicit activity. But your body has a mind of its own and you greedily slip under the fabric barrier, moaning around his fingers at how large, hot, and heavy he is in your hands.

You hate how badly you want to see it, to feel it inside you, splitting you apart. Your pussy clenches, leaking in interest once again despite having just found blissful release mere minutes ago as your hands curiously trail up and down the shaft, trying to memorize how every bit of it feels against your skin, trying to visualize what it looks like. But you whimper as Matsukawa finally pulls his fingers free from your mouth, squeezing your jaw and giving you a warning look.

“Don’t tease me, doll.”

Your fingers wrap around the length and it’s your turn to stare up at Matsukawa with eyes full of hunger and awe as you watch his Adam’s apple swallow, as you feel a pleased groan reverberate in his chest with every stroke of your hand. Up and down. Up and down. Your hands are slick with pre-cum and you know it’s just your imagination, but you swear you can hear the lewd wet sounds of his sticky essence coating his shaft with every movement of your palm against the velvety skin. You’re so mesmerized, so lost in the experience that you startle when something hot and thick spurts onto your hand, mixing with his pre-cum, making an even bigger mess of his boxers and you.

You stare stunned at the hand you pull out from between his legs, gazing at the white and transparent fluids that coat your flesh. But before you can even think about wiping it off or scavenging around for a spare napkin or paper in your bag, a large hand grabs your wrist and brings your stained fingers to your mouth. You try to resist him, the spell he had you under broken now that the haze of lust isn’t blinding you. But his grip tightens until you wince and finally relent, stomach churning in disgust and shame as you tentatively lick at the bitter liquid.

He doesn’t release you, not until every last drop is coating the inside of your mouth, his taste heavy in your mouth, seemingly in every crevice of your orifice, your hand completely clean and void of your sinful interaction.

You want to hate him. You want to wipe the smug satisfied look clean off his face. But as you readjust your disheveled clothing, you’re reminded of your own body’s betrayal, your own carnal desire and pleasure, by the uncomfortable mess in between your legs. And all you can do is silently stand there and pretend that nothing has happened as Matsukawa nonchalantly tucks himself in and checks his phone.

There’s an uncomfortable silence as you wait for him to acknowledge what has just happened, only to be disappointed as he doesn’t even spare you another glance, too observed in the glowing screen in his hand. You wonder if this was just a one time thing, if he had been stringing you along all this time for one quick public tryst. And you hate the way that thought makes your chest hurt, hate how much you dislike the idea of never seeing him again, never talking to him again, never feeling and tasting him again.

But as the train pulls into his stop, your eyes widen when his face hovers by your ear, lips grazing your lobe as his voice melts into your soul.

“Wear a dress or skirt tomorrow. No panties or bra.”

He laughs as surprise turns into an endearing scowl that barely hides the apparent relief in your eyes and he just casually waves farewell as you send him on his way with a tirade of angry words about his fucking audacity. But it’s all empty heat and he chuckles at the self-conscious embarrassment written all over your face when he sees you the next morning, a pretty dress fluttering around your knees.

There’s no preamble, no pretense of what’s about to happen and he smirks in appreciation at the unobstructed feeling of skin against skin as he slips his hand under your skirt, not an inch of fabric covering the treasure at the apex of your thighs.

#haikyuu smut #matsukawa smut #yandere matsukawa #yandere haikyuu #matsukawa x reader #haikyuu x reader #tw: yandere #tw: noncon #tw: dubcon

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hopelesshawks · 3 years

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Ash and Dust Part 7- Opportunities

18+ Dabi x fem!reader

Summary: You first meet Dabi on the worst night of your life after unwittingly walking into the very bar the League of Villains made infamous. That should probably be the end of the story. You stumble on the remnants of one of the most infamous terrorist groups in the history of Japan, get viciously murdered or call the cops and get them arrested, the end. Except that’s not the end of the story. It’s only the beginning.

Masterlist Help Lulu (Kofi)

Waking up the morning after reclaiming your bedroom (at least in part) is jarring for two reasons.

The first is that you’re waking up next to Dabi.

For some reason you thought he might wake up before you, even though he’s pretty routinely demonstrated that he’s not an early riser. Perhaps you expected the knowledge that he was sleeping in the same bed as you to perturb him enough to get him up early. Instead your eyelashes had fluttered open to find him still deeply asleep with his face only a few inches from yours.

You fully intended on simply rolling over to either fall back asleep or get on with your day but you’d found yourself enthralled with his sleeping face instead. You know Dabi’s smirks, sneers, and scowls like the back of your hand after a little over a month of living with him. His resting face, however, is entirely foreign to you. You’ve never had a moment alone with him where he wasn’t antagonizing you and it’s odd to see him so peaceful. Your eyes trace over his face, taking in the extent of the scarring on his jaw and beneath his eyes, but also appreciating the unmarred expanses of skin as well. It strikes you that Dabi is pretty. It shouldn’t be surprising considering what you’ve seen of the youngest Todoroki in the press but even still. In another world where he’d never become the wanted criminal he is today, you wonder if he’d be a heartbreaker or a sweet, gentle type. Would he be as quiet and polite as his brother seems to be or would he still get a thrill from bantering with someone who isn’t afraid to banter right back? Would he be in the tabloids with a different girl every week or settle down early with his high school sweetheart? You’re fascinated by the idea of what the scarred man before you would be without the tragedy and the trauma. You might’ve sat there just taking him in until he woke up if not for the second reason waking up that morning was so jarring.

Your phone has been pinging literally non-stop.

You’ve never resented your notification sound more as its shrill tone continues to echo in your room, putting the fragile peace at risk. Even before you found yourself as alone as you are now your phone was never this busy. As much as you try to ignore it and wait for the tidal wave of what you assume are spam notifications to end, the sound finally drives you to turn over and grab it. Your eyes widen as you take in the sheer amount of Twitter notifications you have. As you unlock your phone and navigate over to the app your mentions are literally flooded with Deku fans screaming about your talent and how lucky you are. It’s a confusing litany of fangirling that you try to weed through until you get to one mention in particular that makes your breath catch in your throat.

You got a mention from the rising hero himself.

Holy shit.

You’ve never clicked a tweet so quickly in your entire life. Not only are you stunned to find he’s seen and loved your work but he also mentions wanting to talk if you’re interested. Sure enough, when you navigate over to the messages section of the app, a feature you’ve never bothered to use, you notice a message request from Midoriya ‘Deku’ Izuku waiting for you. It takes everything in you not to scream as you read the message there over and over before finally hopping out of bed and moving to the kitchen to call the number he’d left you. It’s a little endearing that he’d been so quick to hand out his number to a complete stranger on the internet but you also can’t help but wonder how someone so naive could be the same man drawing headlines over his heroics and combat skill. You’re not exactly a Deku fangirl but it’s still wild to be dialing a celebrity’s number as you punch in the numbers and then wait for it to ring.

On literally the second ring the phone is answered. “Pro Hero Deku at your service! Who’s calling?” the young man answers chirpily. “Uhh, this is (y/l/n)? You messaged me on twitter?” “Oh! Right! Yes! Hello! One second!”

You can hear Deku excusing himself from whatever room he’s in, a disgruntled voice mumbling something you can’t hear, causing Deku to reply with a hushed “Sorry Kacchan! I’ll be right back!” before there’s more shuffling and finally the sound of a heavy door closing.

“Ok I’m back! Thanks for reaching out to me so quickly!” he finally says now that he’s, apparently, in a better place to talk.

“Yea, of course I guess I’m just shocked you liked my art so much and really appreciate you drawing so much attention to it,” you explain, feeling short of breath at how surreal the situation is.

“Of course! You’re really talented! Your work deserves to get attention!”

“Thank you but, uh, why exactly did you want me to call you?”

“Right! It’s about your artwork.”

“Ok?”

“I want to sell it!”

“What?”

“Wait well no not sell it. Or not sell that particular piece although it is a nice piece and if you wanted to theoretically you could probably sell it although I guess it’s available for free online already so maybe people wouldn’t want to pay for it. Although it’s a painting right? And people buy or pay to go see paintings you can see online all the time so maybe it wouldn’t be too bad but if it’s for your own enjoyment you may not want to give it up which would be totally understandable and also how would that work logistically? If the painting is rather large it may be unwieldy to try and ship it to whoever purchases it, in which case would you have to meet up to try and give it to them by hand? But then that necessitates meeting up with a complete stranger on the internet and what if the person who buys it doesn’t live near you or, since it is the internet, doesn’t even live in Japan? Then you have to contend with international shipping and-”

“Uhh, Deku?” you ask cautiously, barely able to process the mumbling of the young man on the phone.

“Ah! Sorry! I can kinda end up on tangents sometimes... What I mean to say is that I’m not trying to sell the painting you posted or anything but I think you’re really talented as an artist and one of my friends is looking for someone to design a new merch collection.”

One of his friends? Your mind instantly starts running through his impressive list of ex classmates. Your first thought is Dynamight and immediately you shudder at the idea. He may be years younger than you but the aggressive pro hero still scares the shit out of you. Uravity could be an interesting hero to work with although you’re not quite sure you vibe with her aesthetic. Or maybe he’s talking about the new Ingenium?

“You’re real fucking loud in the mornings, you know that Doll?” Dabi asks with a groan as he comes walking into the room with a stretch.

You hurry to shush him, not wanting to lose the opportunity being presented to you, which earns you a curious look. Before you can react Dabi is snatching your phone out of your hand and putting it on speaker. You don’t dare protest verbally and risk alerting Deku of the situation so you have to settle for glaring at Dabi as he smirks at you.

“Yea so, anyway, Shouto really needs new merch but wanted something a little more sophisticated on the designs and I feel like you’d be perfect for that you know? Making all his stuff mini works of art. So what do you say?” Deku asks, his voice still brimming with that same enthusiasm while your blood runs cold. You’re genuinely scared to look up at Dabi’s face to see what he thinks about the idea of you working with his little brother. You hold your breath, Deku’s chipper voice going nervous as he asks “Hello? You still there?”

To your immense surprise, when you finally have the courage to bring your eyes up to meet Dabi’s, he’s got an almost feral grin. “You better take the fucking job,” he hisses delightedly, sending a chill down your spine as you stutter out a response to Deku, your eyes never leaving Dabi’s.

“Yea, sorry just processing. I’d, uh, I’d be happy to help out.”

“Great! I’ll pass your number on to Shouto and you two can meet up and figure out details!”

“Ok.”

“Cool, thanks (y/l/n)! Hopefully I’ll see you around!”

You hum noncommittally before hanging up the phone, still waiting for the other shoe to drop as you practically watch the gears turning in Dabi’s head.

“You’re…. Not mad I’m going to be working with your brother?” you ask cautiously.

“Oh no, I’m fucking delighted Doll. You know why?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re gonna help me have a little fun.”

A/N: We are finally starting to get to the meat of the story omg. I’m sorry this fic has been so slow going, especially compared to my others, but if you stick with I’m pretty sure it’ll be worth it. I appreciate each and every one of y’all that’s been reading this fic because main motivation to write it has been hard

Taglist: @thechroniclesofawriter @simpsfortodoroki @ahtsuwu @oliviasslut @larkspyrr @oikawaandkuroostan @tina-98 @vibesdontlie @clubfairy

#hopelessad #dabi #dabi x y/n #dabi x fem!reader #touya todoroki #touya x y/n #touya x fem!reader

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erotiqueb · 4 years

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Can you afford being healthy?

So let’s say my goal is to have optimal health, both physical and mental, what should I do? Off the top of my head I’m thinking gym, organic food, green smoothies, psychotherapy, social life, maybe supplements. All of which sound very expensive compared to staying at home watching TV and eating corndogs. So for a long time, I thought I couldn’t afford taking care of my health. But then I had to, so I got creative.

Health is an investment

The first thing to keep in mind is that taking care of your health now will save you money (and trouble) in the future. Being sick is expensive: medication, hospital bills, missing work, etc. I try to remember that every time time I want to go for McDonalds instead of.. anything else really.. to save a buck.

Time to hang out with friends

Taking care of your mental health also means having a social life and leisure. What do you need for that? Time. Why don’t you have enough time? Mostly because of work. Why do you have to work so much? Because life is so fucking expensive. So my logic is: if I need less things, and if I spend less on things I have to buy, that means more time for me. I’ll summarize this in two words: thrift stores and simplicity.

First, go for simplicity

Try to buy less stuff and when you want to buy, ask yourself if you really need it, that’s basic. To avoid feeling in a place of scarcity and lack, think of something you really do want, and make it your goal, your reward. So instead of thinking “I shouldn’t buy this, I don’t absolutely need it. That sucks, I can’t have anything nice

” You could shift that to: “If I don’t buy this dress that I probably wouldn’t wear much, it means I’m $45 closer my trip to Bali :D”. Consistently doing this keep you exited about your goal because, how often do we want to buy things we don’t really need? That’s right, you’ll have your reward in mind very often.

Simplicity in your products

I think that a good first step to take towards health is eliminate toxicity. To do that, what often makes sense is to simplify: go for foods that have the less ingredients, or that are totally unprocessed. Same goes for cosmetics. Look for products that only contain a few ingredients that you can recognize, or if you’re so inclined, you can even make them yourself, thus, saving more money. So, weather it goes on your body or in your body, a healthy and cost effective solution is to buy ingredients in bulk and start cooking.

Save on food and reduce food waste with apps

Get this: you install an app on your phone (Flashfood is one but I’m sure there are a couple others), and it shows you products that are close to expiration date that groceries near you are selling at a discounted price. I can’t stand seeing food go to waste, and my cheap ass just loves save 50%, so this concept really is pure gold for me. These apps allow me to have access to meat that I couldn’t normally afford, which allows me to pursue my quest for the best diet for my body (I used to be a vegan, I’m now on an API diet, what’s next?!). You can find vegetables, bakery, seafood, anything. I’d say I buy 80% of my groceries through these apps now. Buying in bulk and cooking? Well that is possible with the apps. Having a truck load of bell peppers will sure spark your creativity, as you have to use them before they go bad.

Freeze food

That brings us to the freezer. If you can get a second-hand freezer (I suppose some models consume less electricity, you might want to look for these), that might be the best investment you make this year. Because if you’re half as obsessed as I am about health and simplicity, there’s just not enough room in your standard freezer for all that healthy food you’ll buy at a 50% discount. See where this is going? Buy basic ingredients in bulk, cook huge batches, freeze portions. You saved time and money and you get to eat as healthy as you want to.

DIY your skin and hair products

You’re lucky there is a big trend on DIY products right now, so recipes are easy to find for pretty much everything you want to make. There are some ingredients that have multiple uses, like castille soap or baking soda for instance, so these are a good choice for a starter kit. I tried making solid shampoo and I must say it’s very satisfying to successfully wash your hair with a shampoo you made with your own two hands! And to know you’re not sending chemicals in the water, and in your scalp. And not buying another plastic bottle. And throwing it away when empty. The shampoo bar cost approximately $7 and will last for.. I dunno like ten million showers. I also make my own face serum with two ingredients: jojoba oil and tea tree. Speaking of oil (sweet almond in this case), it’s the best and cheapest makeup remover, period. I used to buy very expensive natural face care products but I was frustrated that there was no visible improvement of my skin. I wanted to test them on half my face for a couple months to demonstrate how ineffective they actually were but I never had the required discipline. If you don’t see noticeable improvement in your face after using a product for a while, stop buying that shit and just rub your face with oil. Because the one you’re buying probably contains mostly oil anyway and the rest of the fancy ingredients are probably in traces amount and completely useless. And don’t even get me started on the non-natural products. Ew.

Get rid of plastic

They say (the same “they” I always talk about when I don’t have sources) that if you store food in plastic containers of drink out of plastic bottles, plastic gets in your body and can cause health problems, hormone imbalance and whatnot. A good alternative are glass containers. The tupperware style with lids can be pricey if you buy them new, so the strategy here is: no stress, buy just a couple at a time when you find them at the salvation army and gradually eliminate the plastic ones. When I say eliminate I mean re-purpose or give to good will. As good hippies, let’s try to produce less waste! There’s also the very trendy mason jar, so practical to store food and – Pinterest shows us every day – anything you can think of.

Drink the best possible water

I’ve heard that tap water contains traces of birth control pills, antidepressants, antibiotics, etc. I don’t have the expertise to know if it’s true but it did scare me. I’m the kind of hippie that will avoid taking a small innocent ibuprofen if I can. I don’t want drugs in my body, unless it’s going to be fun and psychedelic. I certainly have a lack of scientific evidence about traces of drugs in the city’s water supply but my nose and taste buds tell me that chlorine isn’t something I should drink. There’s also fluoride in the water, that is arguably bad for you. These are the reasons I decided to stop drinking tap water. What are the alternatives? I had a Brita but it doesn’t eliminate much of the bad stuff. Plus, it’s made of plastic. The high quality water filters are just ridiculously expensive so my only option was to buy bottled water. Not small bottles, the big ones that are reused when you bring them back to the store. It felt weird to buy water when there’s plenty in the tap but, my god, does it taste better. And I’ve read it hydrates you better too. Hydration is a key component of health, that’s for sure, so if you can’t afford to buy water, still, drink a liter a day, you’ll be healthier than if you let yourself dry like a raisin. I hesitated to make that water bottle move for a bit because I thought I needed to buy a water dispenser, but it turns out I don’t need it at all. I just leave the bottle on the counter and I got used really quickly to flip that giant heavy thing. Now I can pour myself a shot glass of water without spilling a drop. No need to buy a machine. Also, it’s best to drink it at room temperature, and it’s empty within a week of two so I figure it doesn’t have time to grow bacteria, or algae or whatever happens to water when you let it sit.

Sleeping is free

We underestimate the role that sleep has to play in our health so we often neglect it, but a good sleep hygiene can make a huge difference in your energy level, I’ve experienced it. I was always tired, couldn’t get through the day without a nap, couldn’t concentrate, I was unable to get up in the morning. Then a doctor prescribed that I take melatonin every night at 6 pm for two weeks, go to bed at 10, wake up at 7 and blast a light therapy lamp in my face for half an hour every morning. I did that and guess what? It. Worked. I didn’t follow the exact hours he prescribed and I’m not sure the melatonin had a good effect on me so I only took it for a couple days. So I think what does the trick is consistently waking up at the same time each morning, regardless of what time you go to bed. Occasionally I get only four hours of sleep and usually the next day I’d be unable to function. Now that I wake up at regular hours, I can go through the day and have so much energy that I even forget I got only 4 hours of sleep. A phrase he said about staying in bed later to catch up on you sleep stuck with me: it’s too hard for the system. It had not occurred to me that it could be difficult for the body to change its sleep schedule. I thought “as long as I get 8 hours I’m fine” or even “the more sleep the better, I’ll sleep 12 hours today”. So if you happen to have sleep problems, irregular sleep pattern or fatigue, set an alarm and get some light in the morning, see what happens. Hopefully your body will adjust to the schedule and you won’t need the alarm after a week, and your mornings will be less painful. Another thing I didn’t take seriously was avoiding blue light in the evening. But it turns out it’s serious, it really does mess with your natural sleep hormones. So I installed f.lux on all my screens. It’s an app that will cut the blue light out of your screen according to the time of day. My screen is yellow right now because I’m too silly to go to bed at a normal time, I prefer to write a blog post. I used to binge watch TV on my computer very late in the night and not feel tired. I realized after installing the app that it was the blue light that was keeping me up. Now I watch an episode and start to yawn, so that’s a good thing, less TV.

Meditation is free

According to every damn article I read or podcast I listen to, meditation is one of the healthiest thing you can do. Good news: all you have to do is sit there and breathe. Now that, you can afford. No time? A minute a day is still better than nothing. If you need a little help to begin, there are tons of free apps you can install. I use Breathe and Calm, which also has some nice sleep stories.

Functional training

Exercising at home requires more discipline, at least in my experience, but if you can pull it off, it means more money in your pocket. You don’t necessarily need those machines to have an effective workout. The weight of your body will do. Remember those good old push ups? Yep. YouTube will help you find some exercises ideas for what part of your body you want to work out. Weights can be found easily at thrift stores. Elastic bands offer multiple possibilities and are not too expensive. Cardio is important too so if running outside isn’t an option, because breathing smog will annihilate any benefits of working out, for instance, maybe look for a stationary bike in the ads.

You can still party

Even if you’ve decided that for health reasons, alcohol, sugar and carbs are to avoid, you can still allow yourself to have them every once in a while. Just don’t binge, and limit the damage. For example, I drink on rare but meaningful occasions and I choose low sugar and gluten free drinks like vodka-soda or gin-soda. That’s the protecting my health part, now for the protecting my wallet. Go to the liquor store and find the best value alcohol. Not the will-make-you-go-blind kind of alcohol, because that’s not healthy. Usually a big-ass bottle of average quality vodka will be a good price to quantity ratio, and will give you an occasion to let go of what the cashier thinks of you as a person. Vodka is pretty much tasteless so that leaves you more drinks possibilities. (plus, you can DIY perfume using vodka: avoiding chemicals on your skin and saving $200, yay)! Sugar in food now. It’s always best to choose natural sugars like honey, instead or refined sugar, or use stevia. Man, stevia is the best: it tastes like sugar, but it’s not. It’ll make your food taste sweet and do zero damage. Buy in a giant bottle to save money. Hell, you could even grow your own stevia plant! Let’s go crazy! You can also pour a drop in your vodka. Now that’s starting to look like a party to me! The use of the word honey and saving money just made me think of a fine browser extension you can use for online shopping. It’s called Honey and it can notify you when a product you watch goes on sale. It can also find and apply coupon codes for you. Here’s the only referral link in this article: my link to Honey. So, where were we. Sugar. When I stopped eating sugar, I bought dark unsweetened chocolat in bulk, thinking it would taste like dark 70% chocolate. Oh, was I wrong. It tastes bitter. That’s the only thing you’ll taste in sugar free dark chocolate. But it’s cheap to buy in bulk and I can control what goes into it, so from time to time I like to melt some in a pan, add stevia and eat that with bananas.

Let’s talk! What are your secrets to stay healthy and how do you afford it?

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jacktherph · 5 years

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Hi, Jack! We are a new murder mystery roleplay inspired by A Series of Unfortunate Events with new plot twists and characters. We would love some feedback. May we please have an opinion? Please, feel free to take as much time as you need. Thank you so much! We really appreciate it!

hi there @unfortunate-rp! i’m happy to give you an opinion. since you didn’t specify private, i will post this on my blog. feel free to ask me to take it down if that was a mistake.

NOTE: all opinions expressed here are mine, jack’s, belonging to jack. i make no claims to knowing what is best for every group – i only offer advice based on my experiences, what i’ve seen in the community, and my personal knowledge. no one person knows what is best for you or any group other than yourself; because you were the one who put all of this together in the first place. so take everything i say as a suggestion, and remember that you have accomplished so much!!

and if you have any questions, want feedback on something specific, or want elaborations on anything said in this opinion, don’t hesitate to message me!!

this isn’t just an opinion, it’s a shoutout and a rec!! any fans of the asoue book series &/or recent netflix adaptation will adore this rpg. it perfectly captures everything snicket was about from beginning to end and the skeletons are frankly fucking amazing. what a creative admin team!!

start: 2.30 | pause: none | end: 2.58TOTAL: HERE 28 minutes to read all pages (please don’t take this as a measure of anything, I simply time myself and am a speed reader)

*spelling error on /uptown: Mureau Cinema -- Christmas

So the first thing I’m going to say before I go into the full details of each page and contents and such is that I have one big recommendation: finding a way to adjust your line height in your code. The common theme I ran into while reading all of your pages is that after a while my eyes would gloss over certain sentences because I thought I was reading each line but they were too bunched together. Because you have such beautiful pages with so much information to give to your members, this is super important. If you’d like me to see if I can find that part of your code for you, feel free to IM me at any time and I’ll be happy to help.

My first impression of everything is a big fat fucking WOW. From the pages to the graphics to even the way you word things I feel like I’ve been transported back to that dreadfully delightful macabre world Snicket created for me as a child. I don’t know if you’ve been given proper praise for that yet but if you haven’t you certainly deserve it. You have a functional and helpful theme that works for what you need from it and your design of everything is both simple and artistic at the same time. When you have a new acceptance posted the dual ember gifs make it feel like there’s a lot going on but it’s not consistent, with too many repeated or flashing gifs, and so there’s not anything you need to do to change that in my opinion. It just tends to happen with graphics that use the same images. Really though, please feel extremely accomplished about the tone and theme you set on your main. I’ve never gotten more of an impression of what an rpg is about by one glance than I do here.

Your Plot is astounding. Disregarding the fact that you wrote it just like Snicket, I think this is one of the most original fandom concepts I’ve seen in some time. This was the perfect story to be able to take away from the canon and still keep it within the realm of possibility. I’m actually really glad you did this so well because this way people can still have all of the fun of the storyline and plots and not have to worry about the possibility of “playing a canon character wrong” or trying to fit it into the canon of the books/show.

I’ll sort of go into all of your lore pages as a whole rather than go through every single page? Because the love and dedication you’ve taken to ensure potential members and your members have everything they need in order to work within the worldbuilding of your group. I can seriously appreciate that as an admin of a group with a ton of lore, myself. That you go into so much detail on the locations pages and everything about VFD, you make it so your main is the one-stop shop for information rather than asking people to go elsewhere like a wikia page and I’m gonna shout my praises to you for that!

So your Guidelines are something I’m a little iffy on -- and I’m gonna say this is honestly the only thing I really find debatable about your rpg. The very nature of the ASOUE series was about children being involved in all of the gruesome stuff that comes with being an adult; so in that I can see why you allow writers of any age. But you also have content warnings such as smut, violence, drugs, and etc. and state that the roleplay itself will have mature themes and contents. So that being said, I have two moral issues: allowing members under 18 and the playing of characters who are minors. Generally I’m against playing characters who are minors of any kind. That results in using FCs who are minors and yes, while they are celebrities, it gives the potential for undue associations with the child star. Have you considered possibly keeping children out of the RPG except for in the case of mentioned NPCs? Regarding the “members under 18” bit, honestly that one isn’t as much of a big deal so long as your members are tagging and using read-mores where and when needed, but i’ll include that it will deter a certain number of people from joining your group. I’m not telling you to change anything -- but these are things I think you should maybe think about and consider adding changes to?

Your Skeletons and Faceclaims are so widely wonderful and diverse. You have such a wide range of trans characters and I always look for that in RPGs. But you’re also extremely body positive and age positive as well. This is what the faceclaim page of every rpg should look like, so applause for you. I only looked at a few of your skeletons to get a feel for them, but from what I did look at each one is unique in their own way and you have done an impressive job weaving them in with not only one another but the story. Each one has an important role to play and none feel like they’re just there for any sort of token points. You must have put a lot of work into this and you admin/s need to recognize that this immense amount of creativity is brilliantly impressive.

Personally, I think all you need to do is link to your skeleton page with the filters, rather than having a whole page with links that bring people to the tags the filters divide by, but that is more of a suggestion and if you find what you have works for you then there’s nothing more to be said. As for the images on the skeleton page: you obviously make them fit better with the psd/texture, which I like, but some of them still stick out in their brightness. Maybe go back and look at them and dim some of them individually or try to get them with a matching color hue to make them seem a little more uniform?? But the distinction between npcs and skeletons with the monochrome is great.

Overall your graphics match very well!! Your character template is perfect for the vibe and the psd you have on your images ensures they all look very uniform and put-together. The sidebar gif on the homepage feels a little left out compared to the rest, though? I don’t know if you have a lot of history working with gif editing but either changing the size, adding the psd, or adding a little SOMETHING to it might make it seem a little less “floating on it’s own in a void” in your sidebar.

Your Applications, both of them, are very well thought out and you definitely ask for everything that I can see being necessary in this group. Some in the community are against fully fleshed out apps like this but those who see your group and see the effort in your applications should feel inspired with everything that they answer!! You even provide links for them in helping find occupations and such, and that’s going above and beyond. My one thing is…. Why are both applications on bright white backgrounds and not set as pages of your main? It’s just confusing to me, nothing big. And the white sort of startles me after looking at your darker-colored pages for such a long time.

My FAVORITE THING about your rpg: the complete-ness of it all. I genuinely cannot think of one thing I would like to see here, information or rpg-wise, that would help me as a potential member understand your rpg better. You obviously put so much work into everything here and I could not be more thrilled. As the story goes on you might add more pages or such but for an rpg that hasn’t opened yet (at the time I’m writing this) there is NOTHING that needs adding, in my opinion.

My LEAST FAVORITE THING about your rpg: I’m… struggling to find something, but I guess if I had to pick it would be the layout of your applications -- how they exist on a white page rather than within a page on your main. It’s just slightly jarring to go from all that darkness to a bright white page. Think about putting them as pages on your theme and honestly you’re good to go??

OVERALL this is probably one of the best examples of a put-together skeleton and bio rpg I’ve ever seen. Like, I don’t even know anything about the series beyond the show and I had to stop myself from joining while writing this opinion. Even if someone knows nothing about the fandom they could be coaxed to join after just taking a few minutes to look at everything you’ve put together and provided for people. You didn’t leave anything I could think of out and included more than I would have thought if I were the one putting this rpg together. The fact that you may have done this solo stuns me even more. This is an rpg everyone should check out because it has everything people are looking for: diversity, depth, a well-formed plot, and the potential to last for some time with the right cast and crew behind it.

Well fucking done.

Sincerely,Jack

#rph #rpc #rp opinion #skeleton rp #secrets rp #bio rp #shoutout #unfortunaterp #answered #rec #jack does rph things #opinion #unfortunate-rp

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6-30am-blog · 6 years

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Social Media Advertising & How to Get the Most out of Your Budget

Types of social media ads (and what they’re best for)

The major social networks offer advertising options—but not all will be a great fit for every marketer. When thinking about which social networks to use for advertising, look at which ones are performing well organically. Networks where your content naturally strikes a chord with fans are an obvious choice for your first social ad campaigns.

When choosing where to place your ads, it’s also helpful to know which networks are most popular among which types of users. For example, Pinterest has far more female than male users, and Snapchat has massive penetration in the younger audience segments.

Here’s a quick summary from the Pew Research Center showing who’s using which social networks in 2018.

Now that you have a sense of which social networks are a demographic fit for your business, let’s look at the types of ads each network has to offer.

Facebook ads

Facebook ads are designed to help you achieve one of three broad types of campaign objectives: awareness, consideration, or conversion.

Awareness objectives: Building brand awareness or increasing reach

Consideration objectives: Sending traffic to your website, increasing engagement, encouraging app installs or video views, lead generation, or encouraging people to communicate with you on Facebook Messenger

Conversion objectives: Creating online conversions, making catalog sales, or driving foot traffic to offline stores

Audience considerations: Facebook is popular across demographics and offers detailed targeting options, making it a great platform to get started with social media advertising.

You have several ad formats to choose from.

Photo ads

In addition to a photo, Facebook photo ads include 125 characters of text plus a headline and link description. They can also include a call-to-action button like Shop Now or Send Message.

You can create your photo ad in Facebook Business Manager, or simply promote a post with an image from your Facebook Page.

Quick tip: Facebook photo ads work really well for showcasing new products or services. Show people using your product, rather than a simple photo of the product itself.

Video ads

Facebook video ad options range from short mobile video ads up to 240-minute promoted videos designed to be watched on desktop. With so many options, it’s critical to have solid goals and understand who your target market is and where your video will reach them.

Facebook video ads can work well in conjunction with a TV ad campaign. Even if TV is not part of your marketing mix, video ads can be a great way of drawing people in with compelling visuals that highlight the best parts of your brand.

For example, the contraceptive app Natural Cycles adapted a TV ad to run on Facebook in Sweden. They made the video vertical to maximize screen space on mobile, and added text to optimize the video to play without sound. The campaign had a 20 percent incremental reach beyond the TV campaign, reaching one million women.

Quick tip: Short videos have higher completion rates. Stick to 15 seconds or less if you’re placing videos in the mobile feed.

Carousel ads

A carousel ad lets you include up to 10 images or videos, each with their own link, all in one ad.

Carousel ads work well to showcase different features of a product, or to explain a step-by-step process. They’re also a great way to present multiple products.

Quick tip: Use the different elements in your carousel ad together to present a compelling, effective story or message. Here are a couple of creative examples.

Slideshow ads

A slideshow is an ad that creates a video from several static images—your own or stock images that Facebook provides.

Slideshows offer the compelling motion of video, but require no video-specific resources to create. If you’re not ready to try video ads but want to move beyond static photos, slideshow ads are a great option.

This slideshow ad for Iceland Air highlights several of Iceland’s top sights, along with Iceland Air branding, to create excitement about travelling to the country with its national airline.

Quick tip: Slideshow ads load fast even on slow connection speeds, so they can be a particularly great alternative to video if your target market is likely to access Facebook from a slow connection.

Collection ads

A collection ad highlights your products right in the Facebook feed. The ad includes a cover photo or video plus product images with pricing and other details, and allows people to learn more about your product without leaving Facebook.

Quick tip: Collection ads work especially well for retail and travel brands. For example, tour operator TUI Belgium achieved a three times greater click-through rate with collection ads compared to link ads on Facebook.

Messenger ads

Messenger ads are simply Facebook ads placed on the home screen of the Messenger app. You can use them to encourage people to connect with your business on Messenger, but they can also link to your site.

Here’s how a Messenger ad looks in the mobile interface:

Quick tip: Using a custom audience of people who have previously messaged your business, you can use Messenger ads to restart conversations that have trailed off.

Lead ads

Facebook lead ads are mobile-only that include pre-populated contact forms. This makes it easy for people to sign up for your newsletter, request a free trial, or ask for a quote.They’re a great tool if you’re looking for leads to pass along to your sales team, or to build your online sales funnel.

Quick tip: Ask for the minimum amount of information you need to process leads effectively, to maximize completion.

Instagram ads

Since Facebook owns Instagram, it’s not surprising that Instagram ads support the same three broad categories of campaign objectives as Facebook ads: awareness, consideration, and conversion.

Audience considerations: Instagram is most popular with millennials, but plenty of Generation Xers also use the platform.

The specific Instagram ad types also mirror three of the Facebook ads types: photo, video, and carousel. You can create each type of ad for either the main Instagram feed, or for Instagram Stories.

Photo and video ads

Your Instagram photo or video will look like a regular Instagram post—except that it will say Sponsored in the top right. Depending on your campaign objective, you may also be able to add a call-to-action button.

Quick tip: Make sure your photo and video ads are consistent in style with the organic posts you share on Instagram so that viewers recognize the ad is from your brand. Videos autoplay with sound off, so optimize your videos to work without audio.

Here’s a great example of a brand-consistent video with no sound required.

Perrier used this video in an Instagram campaign. A study after the campaign showed the ads contributed to increasing offline sales.

Carousel ads

In an Instagram carousel ad, viewers tap the arrows or swipe to scroll through different images.

Quick tip: Make sure the images you use in your carousel ad are visually similar and tied together by a common theme. It shouldn’t be jarring to swipe between the different photos in the ad.

Instagram Stories ads

Instagram Stories ads can use photos or videos up to 15 seconds long. These ads display in full-screen format between people’s stories.

Quick tip: Instagram Stories only last for 24 hours, so this is a great format for in-the-moment marketing like limited time offers. Ads that show the product in use perform best.

For example, Michael Kors used Stories ads to show off its smartwatch and achieved a 24-point lift in ad recall and 8.8 point lift in favorability.

Get all the step-by-step instructions you need to set up your Instagram ads in our Instagram advertising guide.

Twitter ads

Twitter ads work towards six different business objectives:

Website clicks or conversions: Promote Tweets to people who you want to visit and take action on your website. You’re charged per click.

Tweet engagement: Promote Tweets with the goal of starting conversations about your brand. You pay for the initial engagement.

Gain followers: Promote your Twitter account and pay per follower gained.

Increase brand awareness: Promote your Tweets to a broad audience and pay for impressions (CPM).

Video views: Promote your videos to a targeted audience and pay per video view.

App installs or re-engagement: Promote your Tweets and pay per click to open or install your app.

Audience considerations: Twitter is big outside of the USA and Canada—there’s major growth happening in India, and Brazil, Japan, and Mexico are all big markets.

Twitter offers two ways for brands to create Twitter ads: Twitter Promote, which automatically promotes Tweets for you, and Twitter Ads campaigns, in which you set up campaigns yourself based on your marketing objective.

Twitter Promote

When you enable Twitter Promote, the Twitter algorithm automatically promotes your first 10 daily organic Tweets to your specified audience (as long as they pass the Twitter quality filter), and promotes your account to attract new followers. You can focus on up to five interests or metro locations, and let Twitter do the rest.

Quick tip: Twitter Promote mode costs $99 USD per month, and Twitter says accounts will on average reach 30,000 additional people per month and gain an average of 30 new followers.

Twitter ad campaigns

When you set up your own Twitter ad campaigns, you start by choosing your business objective, which ensures your ads align with your business goals.

For example, the driver’s ed app Aceable used Twitter app install ads to promote their solution specifically to people who had been talking about driver’s ed on Twitter.

You can select existing organic Tweets to promote, or create Tweets specifically as ads.

Quick tip: Run separate campaigns for mobile and desktop users to get the best conversion rates. Twitter recommends you avoid using hashtags and @ mentions in your ads so that your audience does not click away.

Get all the step-by-step instructions you need to set up your Twitter ads in our Twitter advertising guide.

Snapchat ads

Snapchat ads can help you achieve three types of marketing objectives:

Awareness: Reach and engage a large audience

Consideration: Drive visits to your website, video or other content

Drive action: Drive newsletter sign-ups, app installs, foot traffic to your offline business, and more concrete actions

Audience considerations: Snapchat is overwhelmingly popularly with younger users: 78 percent of 18-to-24-years olds use the app, compared to only 26 percent of 30-to-49-year-olds.

Here’s a quick overview of how advertising works on Snapchat:

Snapchat offers three types of advertising tools to help you meet your objectives.

Snapchat Ads Manager

With Ads Manager, you can create photo or video ad campaigns that appear between stories on the app. The ads are full-screen, vertical format, and can include attachments for app installs, lead generation, video views, and website visits.

Quick tip: Time moves quickly on Snapchat, so aim to keep your video ad to three to five seconds or less. Don’t try to do too much with a short ad: Feature one strong call-to-action and key message.

The contact lens company Hubble used this strategy to get new subscribers for its free two-week trial and saw 2.5 times subscriber growth.

Snapchat Filter Tool

Snapchat filters are graphic overlays that users can apply to their Snaps—and Snapchatters use them on average three billion times per day. You can create them for a specific geofenced area near your business using the Snapchat create your own filter tool.

Quick tip: Snapchatters use filters to provide context to their snaps, so make sure your filter is relevant to the time, place, and purpose of your campaign. Leave room for Snpachatters’ own images to shine—only use the top and/or bottom quarters of the screen for your filter creative.

Snap Publisher

Snap Publisher is a do-it-yourself ad creation tool that lets you build your Snap ad from scratch from your browser. It’s a great resource for small businesses that don’t have a large marketing team, since the provided templates mean you don’t need graphic design skills, and you can create your ads in just a couple of minutes.

Quick tip: Given the ease of use, this is a great first option if you’ve never advertised on Snapchat before.

Story Ads

This ad format takes the form of a branded tile in users’ Discover feed. The tile leads to a collections of 3-20 Snaps, so advertisers can provide a deeper dive into new products, special offers, movie releases, etc. You can also add Attachments with a call-to-action, so that users can swipe up to watch a trailer, install an app, or buy a product.

Quick tip: Create a curiosity gap for users by writing an enticing headline for your tile. Tease what they might learn or how they will benefit if they tap on your Story.

Bonus: Download a free guide that teaches you how to turn Facebook traffic into sales in four simple steps using Hootsuite.

Get the free guide right now!

Get all the step-by-step instructions you need to set up your Snapchat ads in our Snapchat advertising guide.

LinkedIn ads

LinkedIn ads help your business with three types of marketing objectives:

Build brand awareness

Drive website traffic

Generate leads and convert prospects

Audience considerations: Marketers have rated LinkedIn as the best platform for B2B lead generation. As a professional networking site, LinkedIn is much more business-oriented than the other social networks in this post, and offers targeting options based on professional qualifications like job title and seniority.

You can choose from several different types of LinkedIn ads.

Sponsored InMail

Sponsored InMail is similar to email marketing, except that the messages go directly to users’ LinkedIn inboxes. A unique feature of Sponsored InMail is that users only receive ad messages while they are active on LinkedIn—so messages don’t sit around getting stale.

Quick tip: Short body text (under 500 characters) gets the highest click-through rate. The top five performing calls-to-action for Sponsored InMail are: Try, Free, Today, Click, and Apply, in that order.

Text Ads

Text ads are small ad units that appear at the top and the right of the LinkedIn news feed. They only appear to desktop users, not on mobile devices. Despite the name, text ads can actually include a thumbnail image of 50 x 50 pixels.

Quick tip: Show a human face—profile images work better than logos or pictures of objects.

Get all the step-by-step instructions you need to set up your LinkedIn ads in our LinkedIn advertising guide.

Pinterest ads

Pinterest ads are designed to work with five types of business goals:

Build brand awareness

Create audience engagement

Drive traffic to your website

Drive app installs

Drive video impressions

Audience considerations: Pinterest has significantly more female users than males. According to the Pew Research Center, 41 percent of U.S. women use Pinterest, compared to just 16 percent of U.S. men. Because people use Pinterest to save ideas, it’s a network that naturally leads to shopping and purchases, but those purchases may not happen right away.

Pinterest ads are called Promoted Pins, and they look and behave just like regular pins—the only difference is that you pay to have them seen by a wider audience.

Promoted Pins are identified as ads with a small “Promoted” tag. However, if users save your ads to their Pinterest boards, that promoted label disappears, earning you bonus organic (free) exposure.

There are a couple of options for promoting your Pins.

Pinterest Ads Manager

Using the ads manager, you begin by selecting a goal for your Pinterest ads campaign. This means you can target your advertising strategy to align with your business goals, including whether you pay per click or per impression. You also have the option to choose where your ads appear on the network: browse and/or search.

Quick tip: Since Pinterest is used for planning and generating ideas, it has a longer lead time than some other social networks. Start running Pinterest ads tied to a seasonal or date-specific campaign about 45 days in advance. And try getting creative with the DIY nature of Pinterest as a social network.

For example, the craft store Michaels has developed craft kits based on Pinterest trends. Michaels then promotes those kits on, you guessed it, Pinterest, using Promoted Pins.

SaveMichaelsCopyright issueMichaels & Pinterest have teamed up to bring you the 1st ever MAKE It Kit! Michaels Rewards members get a sneak-peek + 1st access to order before everyone! Just in time for National Tie-Dye day 4/22, your Shibori Make It Kit ships w/tutorials + all supplies you need to tackle the art of Japanese Shibori tie-dye. You’ll have enough to MAKE stylish décor using three simple techniques! Order your MAKE It Kit (before they’re gone!) for $49.99 each (a $70 value) + free shipping while supplies last.240Michaels StoresHome Decor

Even Old Spice, a decidedly not-DIY brand, got in on the DIY theme with its Christmas Promoted Pins:

Savefrom pinterest.comCopyright issuePut a stick of deodorant in a mason jar for a rustic look, I guess.115Old SpiceDIY

Promote Button

Pinterest claims you can use the promote button to create a Pinterest ad in only nine seconds. All you have to do is go to your profile, select the Pin that you want to promote, click the button, and set your daily budget. Promoted pins are always pay-per-click, so you only pay when someone clicks through to your website. Then, add some keywords, click Promote again, and your ad is up and running.

Quick tip: This is a really easy way to get started with Pinterest advertising. Try promoting some of your best-performing Pins to get a sense of the kind of reach you can achieve with your desired budget. Make sure to track results over time to see the effects as people save your Promoted Pins to their own boards, which further expands your reach organically.

Get all the step-by-step instructions you need to set up your Pinterest ads in our Pinterest advertising guide.

YouTube ads

YouTube ads can help you work towards the following business goals:

Collect leads

Drive website traffic

Build brand awareness and extend your reach

Increase product and brand consideration

Attract new viewers

Grow your subscriber base

Audience considerations: YouTube is the only social network used by more men than women. The difference is not huge: 75 percent of American men use YouTube, and 72 percent of American women. But this may be of interest if you’re specifically targeting a male audience.

There are a couple of different video ad formats available on YouTube. Since Google owns YouTube, you’ll need a Google AdWords account to create YouTube ads.

TrueView In-Stream Ads

These ads automatically play before, during, or after other videos on YouTube. Users get the option to skip your ad after five seconds. The recommended video length is 12 seconds to three minutes.

Quick tip: If you’re in the US or the UK, YouTube will send a professional filmmaker to shoot your 30-second ad if you commit to spending $350 on YouTube ads.

TrueView Discovery Ads

These appear in YouTube search results, on the YouTube homepage, and next to related videos. Users have to click your ad to start watching the video.

Quick tip: TrueView discovery ads auto-generate thumbnail images for your video ad. Since this image needs to compel people to click on your video, make sure it clearly shows off what your video has to offer.

The mattress company Tuft & Needle uses YouTube video ads to highlight how they’re different from traditional mattress manufacturers. They target people searching for relevant keywords and dedicate half their Google ads budget to YouTube video because they’re so happy with the results. They keep their ads between 30 seconds and two minutes. Here’s one of the longer examples.

Bumper Ads

These ads are a maximum of six seconds long. Like TrueView In-Stream ads, they play before, during, or after another video, but viewers cannot skip Bumper ads.

Quick Tip: Don’t try to do too much in six seconds. Start with a strong visual, stick to one message, and leave enough time for your call to action.

Get all the step-by-step instructions you need to set up your YouTube ads in our YouTube advertising guide.

7 social media advertising tips to get the most out of your budget

1. Know what business objective you’re trying to achieve

It’s no accident that we’ve started each section of this guide by reviewing the business objectives each type of social media advertising can help you achieve. As in all marketing strategies, it’s awfully hard to achieve your goals if you don’t know what your goals are in the first place.

Understanding what business objective you’re trying to achieve with your ads is critical for ensuring you choose the right social network to advertise on, and the right advertising solution within that platform. It will also guide your creative strategy.

2. Know your target audience

We’ve listed some audience considerations for each of the social networks, but keep in mind that they all offer quite specific ad targeting. Knowing exactly who you’re trying to reach allows you to take maximum advantage of these targeting options and ensure you get the best bang for your advertising buck.

After all, there’s no point in advertising to soccer moms in Florida if your audience is young male video gamers in New Jersey. This ability to micro-target your ad campaigns is one of the key benefits of social media advertising. Developing audience personas can help you understand exactly which audience segments you should focus on.

3. Let your organic posts inform your ads

You’re likely already posting content on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram every day—and maybe LinkedIn and SnapChat, too.

Some of these posts will resonate with followers; others won’t. Track which ones are being clicked, liked, shared, and commented on. These high-performing messages make the best candidates for social ads.

If you’re branching out into a new network with your social media advertising, start small. Use what you’ve learned from your organic posts as a starting point, but know that those lessons will not necessarily translate across social networks.

4. Pay for what matters: Impressions or engagement

Keeping your social media advertising budget under control means thinking about whether you’re designing an ad campaign based on impressions or engagements.

If you’re paying every time someone sees your ad (impressions), your message can cast a wide net. But if you’re paying for engagement, you only want people who are really interested in doing business with you to engage. Since you don’t want to pay for engagements that are not relevant to your business goals, the wording of your ad should help people identify whether it’s for them or not.

Both engagement and impressions campaigns can be valuable for your business—you just need to choose the right one to align with your business goals so that you only pay for real business results. Here’s some more information about which metrics to track to make the most of your social ad campaign.

5. Design your ads with mobile in mind

Ninety percent of active monthly social media users access social networks through a mobile device.

That means most social media ads are being viewed on mobile devices as well. Your mobile ads should be specifically designed for the small screen, incorporating images that are easy to view on a pocket-sized device.

You can also take advantage of “geofencing” to target mobile users when they are in a specific zip code, so they only see your ads when they are close enough to walk in your front door.

6. Test your ads to optimize performance

One of the great virtues of social ads is instant feedback. You can gauge the effectiveness of a sponsored post in minutes and follow up with advanced analytics reports. The best practice is to test several ads with small audiences to determine what works best, then use the winning ad in the primary campaign.

Testing one ad against another to determine what works best and refine your strategy is known as A/B testing. It’s a critical part of your social media advertising efforts, and we’ve got a full guide on how to do it right here: Social media A/B testing.

Bonus: Download a free guide that teaches you how to turn Facebook traffic into sales in four simple steps using Hootsuite.

7. Measure results

Just as it’s important to know your goals before running an ad campaign, it’s important to measure results. This will let you know whether you’ve hit your targets, and show you what worked and what didn’t so that you can improve going forward.

Measuring your results and having concrete data about the value your ads bring to the company (purchases, leads, and so on) is a key part of proving ROI. And if you can prove that your ads are paying off, that will ensure you get the budget you need to continue your work.

The major social networks offer analytics to help you measure the results of ads. And we’ve created in-depth guides on how to use them for Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat, and Pinterest.

You can also use tools like Google Analytics and Hootsuite Impact to measure results across networks from a single dashboard.

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Final Season is a Bit of a Letdown

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This article contains spoilers for Brooklyn Nine-Nine season 8 episodes 7 and 8.

The uneven final season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine continues this week with two episodes that feel like by-the-numbers installments that do little to dramatically improve the feeling that Season 8 has been a disappointment. By trying to serve two masters — responsibly telling stories about policing in a post-George Floyd world while also telling silly detective stories — Brooklyn Nine-Nine has given viewers tonal whiplash.

The dramatic moments don’t quite land and can feel heavy-handed, while the laughs simply have been few and far between. While “Game of Boyles” and “Renewal” each have their moments, with “Renewal” neatly, if too quickly, tying up the season’s arc, the entire affair feels rushed and half-hearted. And “half-hearted” has never been a word to describe the series before.

“Game of Boyles” is first and serves as a pseudo-parody of Knives Out. The problem here is that by this point, the film is almost two years old, and the parody feels stale. Also feeling stale are the Boyle family jokes. Look, I’ve always been a mark for Boyle jokes, like the weird unintentional sexual innuendos and the beige outfits, and while “Game of Boyles” gets laughs out of one Boyle calling a head massage an “HJ” and their affinity for drinking nutria milk, by the end of the episode, it all starts to feel repetitive.

The plot centers on the death of Charles’ great Uncle Pappy. Trying to escape the demands of fatherhood and support their friend, Jake and Terry accompany Charles to the Boyle family farm, but they discover that something is amiss with Pappy’s death. This leads to a classic whodunit in the mold of Rian Johnson’s film, complete with conflicting flashbacks and witness testimonies from strange Boyles. The Boyle black sheep Lyndon is suspected of killing his father, and once a suspicious hair is found near some rat poison, Jake decides to DNA test each Boyle to determine who it belongs to.

In a classic twist, it turns out that the hair belonged to a nutria who got into the poison, and since Pappy naturally drank the nutria’s milk, he succumbed to its effects. But that’s not the twist; the real twist is that the DNA test reveals that Charles is not actually a Boyle. While Charles resembles the Boyle family because the Boyle family cuddles their children so hard it reshapes their bones (the episode’s best joke), he’s not a true Boyle.

This reveal was engineered by Charles’ jealous cousin, Sam, but it’s beside the point. It all sends Charles into an identity crisis, but it’s quickly overcome when Charles miraculously opens his family’s Grandmother Starter, an extremely old sourdough starter with a very tight lid. The family says whoever opens the jar is said to be the One True Boyle, so Boyle’s crisis is over before it really has a chance to get going. Perhaps if this came earlier in the episode, the writers could have made more of a meal out of a spiraling Charles, but this resolves itself far too simply.

Same with the B-plot, which finds Holt getting on a dating app at the behest of Rosa and Amy. The pair believe that if Holt gets on a dating app, he’ll see how dreadful the waters are and try harder to resolve things with Kevin. Holt suspects the pair are trying to manipulate him, so he pretends to be into the dating scene, but his behavior in trying to “beat” Rosa and Amy allows him to see that he’s been trying to defeat Kevin in their therapy sessions. At the episode end, Kevin and Holt reunite in a pure Nancy Meyers movie moment, but once again, it all feels a bit rushed. There are some solid dating app jokes lobbied, but nothing especially memorable. Overall “Game of Boyles” is a serviceable if unspectacular episode.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Bungles The Pontiac Bandit’s Last Appearance

By Nick Harley

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Season 8 Takes On The “Blue Flu”

By Nick Harley

If “Game of Boyles” was more parody than classic BK99, “Renewal” is the show hitting all of its familiar beats. There’s Jake and Holt donning disguises, racing against the clock to solve a case while the rest of the team pair off to aid in their main mission. In this case, Holt and Jake are trying to retrieve O’Sullivan’s laptop after he fudged the CompStat numbers on their police reform proposal.

They must distract O’Sullivan’s mom and break into his Man Cave to steal the laptop while Amy and Terry retrieve a fingerprint from O’Sullivan. What makes all of this trickier is that it’s happening on the day that Holt and Kevin have chosen to renew their vows in a lavish ceremony. Since Holt’s dedication to work is already their main point of conflict, Boyle and Rosa must distract Kevin so he doesn’t find out that Holt is working on their special day.

There are a lot of solid jokes in the episode. Rosa’s war with cheddar, Holt doing a callback to his classic “Bone?!” outrage, and Jake’s escalating bad investments are all solid gags. There’s even a funny bit where Holt repeatedly uses the name of a fake porno to get out of trouble, but the funny gags are offset by hamfisted “serious” moments.

The Kevin-Holt marital problems simply do not feel high-stakes enough, nor in actual jeopardy, to warrant so much attention this season. While their coupling has provided great B-plot material, it simply buckles under the weight of trying to carry the main plot. Compare and contrast Amy and Jakes wedding to the ceremony between Holt and Kevin here, and you’ll quickly realize that the latter doesn’t have the same emotional heft.

That said, it was nice to finally see the couple kiss in two back-to-back episodes after never really giving the couple intimate moments, and Marc Evan Jackson really does his best to sell both moments. Andre Braugher, as always, is a revelation.

Anyway, this episode also falters by introducing the idea of Holt retiring for about 15 minutes before rolling it back entirely. Surely this could have continued to drive some drama in the final two episodes, but the idea of Holt retiring is never given enough time to feel like a real concern. Finally, after the plan to save their police reform proposal works, everyone tries to act like policing in NYC has been solved. Holt manages to say something like “this isn’t guaranteed to solve everything” but the episode acts as if this is a magic cure-all, which feels insanely naïve compared to the premiere episode’s bleak, thorough explanation about why cops are rarely prosecuted.

Comparing the end of this episode to the dark reality of the first feels like you’re watching two completely different shows. It’s understandable that a sitcom might want to have the sunny side ending, but this opens up the issue of whether this show was ever the appropriate place to be having these conversations in the first place. It’s yet another example of how this season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine just cannot please both sides of its audience.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

With just one super-sized episode remaining, season 8 of Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been a serious mixed bag that will need to do a lot to pull off a satisfying conclusion. With Amy promoted to chief, it feels like Jake and Amy trying to navigate a work-life balance may provide the drama for the final two installments. I’d also expect a plethora of returning guest stars and recurring gags. While Season 8 hasn’t been a complete disaster, I’m really hoping they can stick the landing, or else this eighth and final season is really going to be a letdown.

The post Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Final Season is a Bit of a Letdown appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3jJJOms

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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foxmobi995 · 3 years

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Best Cli Tool For Mac

Recommended – Uninstall AWS CLI version 1 and use only AWS CLI version 2. For uninstall instructions, determine the method you used to install AWS CLI version 1 and follow the appropriate uninstall instructions for your operating system in Installing, updating, and uninstalling the AWS CLI version 1. Why We Still Use Command Line Interface Tools This article focuses on the practical side of using command line interface (CLI) tools. Knowing CLI commands and using quality tools can make you more productive and can also open doors to various approaches to automation that are far more practical with textual interfaces than with GUI apps.

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For the macOS platform, you can install the Azure CLI with homebrew package manager. Homebrew makes it easy to keep yourinstallation of the CLI update to date. The CLI package has been tested on macOS versions 10.9 and later.

The current version of the Azure CLI is 2.18.0. For information about the latest release, see the release notes. To find your installed version and see if you need to update, run az version.

The AWS Command Line Interface (CLI) is a unified tool to manage your AWS services. With just one tool to download and configure, you can control multiple AWS services from the command line and automate them through scripts. Insert a drive or CD containing your preferred OS. When starting up your Mac, hold down the button that gives you boot options. This could either be the 'C' key, 'F12' or 'F8'. Boot the CD or USB Drive with the new OS install on it and continue from there. Mac users with macOS Mojave and macOS Catalina, and new operating systems in place can now install Command Line Tools from the Xcode IDE without needing to install the entire Xcode package, or opening an Apple developers account.

Install with Homebrew

Homebrew is the easiest way to manage your CLI install. It provides convenient ways to install, update, and uninstall.If you don't have homebrew available on your system, install homebrew before continuing.

You can install the CLI by updating your brew repository information, and then running the install command:

Important

The Azure CLI has a dependency on the Homebrew python3 package, and will install it.The Azure CLI is guaranteed to be compatible with the latest version of python3published on Homebrew.

You can then run the Azure CLI with the az command. To sign in, use az login command.

Run the login command.

If the CLI can open your default browser, it will do so and load an Azure sign-in page.

Otherwise, open a browser page at https://aka.ms/devicelogin and enter theauthorization code displayed in your terminal.

If no web browser is available or the web browser fails to open, use device code flow with az login --use-device-code.

To learn more about different authentication methods, see Sign in with Azure CLI.

Troubleshooting

If you encounter a problem when installing the CLI through Homebrew, here are some common errors. If you experience a problem not covered here, file an issue on github.

Completion is not working

The Homebrew formula of Azure CLI installs a completion file named az in the Homebrew-managed completions directory (default location is /usr/local/etc/bash_completion.d/). To enable completion, please follow Homebrew's instructions here.

Unable to find Python or installed packages

There may be a minor version mismatch or other issue during homebrew installation. The CLI doesn't use a Python virtual environment, so it relies on findingthe installed Python version. A possible fix is to install and relink the python3 dependency from Homebrew.

CLI version 1.x is installed

If an out-of-date version was installed, it could be because of a stale homebrew cache. Follow the update instructions.

Proxy blocks connection

You may be unable to get resources from Homebrew unless you have correctly configured it touse your proxy. Follow the Homebrew proxy configuration instructions.

Important

If you are behind a proxy, HTTP_PROXY and HTTPS_PROXY must be set to connect to Azure services with the CLI.If you are not using basic auth, it's recommended to export these variables in your .bashrc file.Always follow your business' security policies and the requirements of your system administrator.

In order to get the bottle resources from Homebrew, your proxy needs to allow HTTPS connections tothe following addresses:

https://formulae.brew.sh

https://homebrew.bintray.com

Update

The CLI is regularly updated with bug fixes, improvements, new features, and preview functionality. A new release is available roughly everythree weeks.

The CLI provides an in-tool command to update to the latest version:

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Note

The az upgrade command was added in version 2.11.0 and will not work with versions prior to 2.11.0.

This command will also update all installed extensions by default. For more az upgrade options, please refer to the command reference page.

You can also update your local Homebrew repository information and then upgrade the azure-cli package.

Uninstall

If you decide to uninstall the Azure CLI, we're sorry to see you go. Before you uninstall, use the az feedback command to let us knowwhat could be improved or fixed. Our goal is to make the Azure CLI bug-free and user-friendly. If you found a bug, we'd appreciate it if you file a GitHub issue.

Use homebrew to uninstall the azure-cli package.

Other installation methods

If you can't use homebrew to install the Azure CLI in your environment, it's possible to use the manual instructions for Linux. Note thatthis process is not officially maintained to be compatible with macOS. Using a package manager such as Homebrew is always recommended. Only use the manualinstallation method if you have no other option available.

For the manual installation instructions, see Install Azure CLI on Linux manually.

Download the 'Windows Support Software' for you Mac from the website Install Windows 7 on your Mac using Boot Camp. Copy the 'Windows Support Software' to the flash drive. Under Safari preferences, select Advance. Make sure Show Develop menu in menu bar is checked off. Iso windows 7 for mac. Recover or reinstall Windows 7 purchased through a retailer. Simply download a Windows 7 ISO file or disc image and then create a USB or DVD for installation.

Next Steps

Now that you've installed the Azure CLI, take a short tour of its features and common commands.

FileMerge

Being part of its developer toolset, Apple's own merge tool comes at no additional costs. It might not be the most elegant tool, but it's definitely a solid one that does the job of comparing & merging text.

Beyond Compare

Originally a product for Microsoft Windows, the Beyond Compare team has contributed a fine diff tool to the Mac platform. Like Araxis Merge and DeltaWalker, it goes beyond (pun intended) comparing simple text and also allows diffing Word and PDF contents. In its 'Pro Version', it also supports merging.

Araxis Merge

One of the few diff tools that works with more than just text and image files, Araxis Merge lets you also compare office documents (like MS Word, Excel, Powerpoint, or ODF). It comes in standard and professional editions, and for people working on both macOS and Windows, it's great to know that a single license is valid for both platforms.

NEW: Image Diffing in Tower! Our popular Git client Tower now supports Image Diffing for a variety of formats (including PNG, JPG, GIF, BMP, TIFF, JPEG2000, and HEIC). In both the Working Copy and various History / Changeset views, you can now see the actual images - and how they were changed! Try it yourself - for free!

DeltaWalker

Just like Araxis, the DeltaWalker app also lets you compare office files. However, it goes one step further by letting you compare file archives like ZIP, JAR, and TAR files. Also, if you're regularly performing comparisons on a folder basis, DeltaWalker shines with a great performance in this area. DeltaWalker supports macOS, Windows and Linux.

Kaleidoscope

Although it has changed hands (i.e. owners) multiple times, Kaleidoscope is still one of the best diff & merge tools for the Mac. Its beautiful user interface and great image diffing capabilities are what set it apart. Kaleidoscope is also available for the iPad.

Free Alternatives

In case you're looking for a free alternative to the standard FileMerge app, you should also have a look at P4Merge and DiffMerge. Both can't compare in terms of features and user interface with their commercial competitors - but make for a valid alternative on macOS, Windows, and Linux.

Integrations

Another aspect to watch out for is integrations: before choosing your favorite tool, you should make sure that it plays nicely with the rest of your tool chain. I can already confirm that all of the mentioned tools work seamlessly at least with Tower, our own Git client.

If you don't need the power of a dedicated Diff tool application, the integrated diff views in Tower might be absolutely sufficient for you:

In case you don't know Tower: it's the Git desktop client for Mac and Windows that helps thousands of developers and designers to easily & productively work with the Git version control system. Try it 30 days for free!

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Diff & merge apps are amongst the most underestimated tools. But a good one can be really helpful in a lot of situations. Try one of the above and see for yourself!

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inkhunter398 · 3 years

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Minecraft Forge 1.7.10 For Mac

Minecraft 1.7.10 free download - Minecraft, Windows 10, Minecraft Offline Files Installer, and many more programs. Minecraft Forge for. Cd Program Files (x86) Minecraft runtime jre-x64 1.8.025 bin; Use the version of Java in this directory to run the Forge installer in the.jar file. To do this type the following: java -jar forge-1.7.10-10.13.4.1614-1.7.10-installer.jar Substitute the name of your.jar file in place of the one in this command. This will run the Forge.

Minecraft Forge 1.7.10 For Macc

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Minecraft Forge 1.7.10 For Mac

Minecraft Forge 1.7.10 For Macc

I recently got a new computer that my son wanted to play Minecraft on. Minecraft requires the Java runtime to be installed but with it’s memory, security and updating issues Java was one headache I didn’t want to have on this new machine. Lucky for me Mojang recently created a new version of their Minecraft launcher that includes it’s own version of Java. This version is isolated in the Minecraft installation directory and does not require installing Java on it’s own.

Unit 2earth in spacemr. macs 6th grade. Start studying 6th grade science- Lesson 2 Earth in Space. Learn vocabulary, terms, and more with flashcards, games, and other study tools. Jan 28, 2013 - Explore Sarah Mallon's board '6th Grade - Earth in Space Unit' on Pinterest. See more ideas about space unit, science classroom, earth and space science. Unit 2 - earth in Space This unit looks at relationships among the Sun, the Moon, and Earth, including the factors behind day and night, the seasons, the phases of the Moon, tides, and eclipses. We pull back our focus to look at our Solar System, then at other stars, galaxies, and the Universe. In 6th grade we will focus our study on the development of ancient human civilizations from the dawn of man through 500 C.E.; Paleolithic and Neolithic man, Mesopotamia, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Israel, Ancient India, Ancient China, Ancient Greece and Ancient Rome will all fall under our historical microscope.

But then my son asked me about mods. He’s always used Forge for mods but when I tried installing Forge I got an error sayin that Java must be installed to run the Forge installer. So now I was back to my original Java problem: how do I install something that requires Java without installing the Java runtime?

The answer turned out to be quite simple: leverage the version of Java that was installed with Minecraft. Here’s how to do it in Windows 10. I’m sure Mac OSX is similar. Remember that before running a Forge installer fo any version of Minecraft you must first run that version of Minecraft on your machine.

Go to the Forge website (https://files.minecraftforge.net/) and download the .jar file for the version of Forge you want to install. This will be the version indicated by the word “Installer”. DO NOT download the “Installer-win” version. Save the file to the following directory: C:Program Files (x86)Minecraftruntimejre-x641.8.0_25bin Note that your directory structure may be slightly different depending on which version of Java was included with the Minecraft installer you used. The main idea here is that the .jar file should be in the bin subdirectory of the Java install within your Mincraft installation (located in the runtime subdirectory of the install directory).

Open up a command prompt (cmd) and go to the directory you just saved the .jar file to. Using the example above this command would be as follows: cd Program Files (x86)Minecraftruntimejre-x641.8.0_25bin

Use the version of Java in this directory to run the Forge installer in the .jar file. To do this type the following: java -jar forge-1.7.10-10.13.4.1614-1.7.10-installer.jar Substitute the name of your .jar file in place of the one in this command.

This will run the Forge installer. The rest of the details of how to complete the Forge install are well documented in other places so I won’t repeat them here.

Tags: forge, minecraft

If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.

What happened on January 31, 2013. Browse historical events, famous birthdays and notable deaths from Jan 31, 2013 or search by date, day or keyword. January 31, 2013 was the 31 st day of the year 2013 in the Gregorian calendar. There were 334 days remaining until the end of the year. The day of the week was Thursday. If you are trying to learn French then this day of the week in French is jeudi. January 31st birthdays. United States January 2013 – Calendar with American holidays. Monthly calendar for the month January in year 2013. Calendars – online and print friendly – for any year and month.

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iyarpage · 6 years

Text

A Lovely Spring View: Spring Boot & Vue.js

It´s time to shed some light on the integration of Vue.js with the popular Java Enterprise framework Spring Boot! Both frameworks are shining stars in their respective domain – but how could they be set up together properly? What is a practical project structure and build process? How does the development work locally and how is the app deployed? Let´s elucidate these questions!

Vue.js looks like a great choice!

I have to admit: I am not a frontend developer! I really like to play around with “backend stuff” like Spring Boot, web and microservices, automating whole infrastructures with Vagrant, Packer, Ansible and Docker – while I just wanted to scale my apps with Spring Cloud, Docker Swarm and Traefik…

But wait! Isn´t there a frontend I need to build from time to time?! Yeah, there aren´t that many occasions, but sometimes I have to get my hands dirty with some JavaScript code.

Especially when you are giving lectures at university and try to digitize some old paper processes with your students. And if you ask our CTO, this “backend developer” thing won´t be around much longer…

Alright then, we need to choose the “right” frontend framework – having nearly no clue. The last web app I built was based on Angular 1 – and it felt like a good choice! I loved the coding experience and after a day of training, I felt able to write awesome frontends… But now it’s two years later and I heard rumors that there was a complete rewrite of Angular (2), a new kid in town from Facebook (React) and lots of ES201x stuff, dependency managers, linters and more. Whew! But if I get my colleagues right, Vue.js isn´t the worst choice! Just take a look at all those posts that have been written in our blog this spring (especially if you need a deeper dive into Vue.js):

Rapid prototyping with Vue.js Vue.js – it’s simple until you make it complicated Vue.js & React – JavaScript UI Frameworks im Vergleich

Also, other projects move from one of the other big frameworks like Angular to Vue.js. Some of the main points are Vue.js’ much flatter learning curve and the higher coding speed compared to Angular and React. And the introduction phrase sounds really great:

Vue (pronounced /vjuː/, like view) is a progressive framework for building user interfaces. Unlike other monolithic frameworks, Vue is designed from the ground up to be incrementally adoptable. The core library is focused on the view layer only, and is very easy to pick up and integrate with other libraries or existing projects.

Project setup

So I think it could be a good idea to invest some time into Vue.js. As you may know, I strive to write quite comprehensible blog posts – you can find every bit inside the example project on GitHub. So let´s have a quick look into the project´s structure. The project uses Maven´s Multi Module capabilities to achieve a clean setup:

The pom.xml in the project´s root folder spring-boot-vuejs therefore contains the two modules backend and frontend:

frontendbackend

Spring Boot 2.0.x backend

The easiest way to create a new Spring Boot app is – as Josh Long really likes to emphasize – start dot spring dot io! Just initialize a Spring Boot app with the Web dependency and place the generated zip´s contents into the backend folder. There are only two things I had to change for the Vue.js integration. First the spring-boot-starter-parent has to move to our parent pom.xml in the root directory.

Second – and this is a key concept of our project setup here – we need to copy the generated HTML, JavaScript & CSS to a resources folder where it can be served by Spring Boot´s embedded Webserver later easily. This could be done with the maven-resources-plugin:

maven-resources-plugincopy Vue.js frontend contentgenerate-resourcescopy-resourcessrc/main/resources/publictrue${project.parent.basedir}/frontend/target/diststatic/index.html

It just takes the results from the frontend build process (placed in /frontend/target/dist) and places them into /backend/src/main/resources/public folder. With this a simple java -jar backend-0.0.1-SNAPSHOT.jar will run our Spring Boot App and serve all the frontend assets. But first of all let´s build a frontend to serve!

Just for later needs we also create a simple RESTful Service in BackendController.java and use the great testing tooling from rest-assured together with Spring Boot to test our services inside the BackendControllerTest.class:

@RunWith(SpringRunner.class) @SpringBootTest( classes = SpringBootVuejsApplication.class, webEnvironment = SpringBootTest.WebEnvironment.RANDOM_PORT ) public class BackendControllerTest { @LocalServerPort private int port; @Test public void saysHello() { when() .get("http://localhost:" + port + "/api/hello") .then() .statusCode(HttpStatus.SC_OK) .assertThat() .body(is(equalTo(BackendController.HELLO_TEXT))); }

Vue.js 2.5.x frontend

If you want to reproduce every step mentioned here, you´ll need a working Node.js installation as a prerequisite. Just use your preferred package manager and install it – like brew install node on a Mac. We´ll also need the Vue.js command line interface vue-cli, which could be installed with the help of npm, the Node.js Package Manager:

npm install --global vue-cli

To initialize a project skeleton for Vue.js, we only have to execute the following inside the frontend directory:

vue init webpack frontend

This command results in some questions that require answers:

The generated skeleton is a great starting point for your Vue.js experiments. If you want to learn more about installing Vue.js, just head over to the docs.

The frontend-maven-plugin

The easiest way to handle every bit of the quite complex frontend build process with npm, node.js, ESLint, Karma, webpack and so on is to just use the frontend-maven-plugin. If you know Maven, that’s everything you need! Just add the plugin to the frontend’s pom.xml and you can use your well-known Maven commands:

com.github.eirslettfrontend-maven-plugin${frontend-maven-plugin.version}install node and npminstall-node-and-npmv9.11.1npm installnpmgenerate-resourcesinstallnpm run buildnpmrun build

The configuration of the frontend-maven-plugin ensures that the correct Node.js and npm versions are installed – with Node.js version > 4.0.0 the plugin takes care of the corresponding npm version, so you don´t have to explicitly configure it here. Additionally it installs all of our frontend dependencies (via npm install) and runs the full frontend build process with npm run build.

Tell webpack to output build contents to /target

The standard Node.js way is to create a dist directory for builds which contain the minified source code of our web application. But as we use Maven here, we need to have everything in the target directory. Therefore we need to change the generated frontend/config/index.js and replace the following lines:

index: path.resolve(__dirname, '../dist/index.html'), assetsRoot: path.resolve(__dirname, '../dist'),

with

index: path.resolve(__dirname, '../target/dist/index.html'), assetsRoot: path.resolve(__dirname, '../target/dist'),

First app run

Now we already have everything in place to fire up our Spring Boot powered Vue.js application! Just enter the project’s repository and let Maven do its job inside the root spring-boot-vuejs directory:

mvn clean install

This will build our whole app and we can simply do a:

java -jar backend/target/backend-0.0.1-SNAPSHOT.jar

Now let´s open our browser and hit http://localhost:8088/. That´s it, our app should now look like this:

Development process

Although we now have our app successfully running for the first time, we need to take a closer look at how the development process could work with Spring Boot and Vue.js integrated. Because we don´t really want to wait for the full Maven/npm build to complete and wait for our app to be fired up with java -jar until we see a simple frontend element changed in the browser!

We want to get much faster feedback if we change frontend code. Luckily the webpack-dev-server comes to the rescue! This piece of magic will just update and build every change through all the parts of our JavaScript build chain instantly – and is pre-configured in our setup out of the box. The only thing to start the webpack-dev-server is to switch over to the frontend directory and run:

npm run dev

That’s it! Just try it yourself. The command automatically opens your browser. Just enter the Vue.js source in frontend/src and change something. It will instantly be visible

Another neat tool is the Vue.js browser extension. Just install it into your Chrome or Firefox and you should have a deep look into your Vue components inside the Browser´s development tools:

Accessing Spring Boot REST services from Vue.js frontend

As we´re integrating Vue.js with Spring Boot, we for sure want to call some of those nice RESTful web services our Spring Boot backend provides us with. There are many libraries to access web services that one can use with Vue.js. One of them is axios, which is a quite popular Promise API based HTTP client with a huge number of GitHub stars. To use axios in our project, we only have to install the npm dependency:

npm install axios --save

Calling a REST service with Axios is simple. Go into the script area of your component (e.g. in the Service.vue) and add:

import axios from 'axios' data () { return { response: [], errors: [] } }, callRestService () { axios.get(`api/hello`) .then(response => { // JSON responses are automatically parsed. this.response = response.data }) .catch(e => { this.errors.push(e) }) } }

Now inside the template area of your Vue.js component you can request a service call with the callRestService() method – and access the response data accordingly:

CALL Spring Boot REST backend service

Get out of the same-origin policy (SOP) hell

The HTTP calls with axios are working fine – except when we try to use them in our local fast feedback development process with the webpack-dev-server. Why? Because if we start the webpack-dev-server via npm run dev, it will serve our web application on http://localhost:8080. But our Spring Boot REST backend runs on http://localhost:8088! As a core concept of web application security, the same-origin policy (SOP) will then prevent our Vue.js frontend from accessing its Spring Boot backend – resulting in SOP errors.

One way to solve this problem is to use the Cross Origin Resource Sharing Protocol (CORS). Although this isn´t a big deal with both axios and Spring Boot, there´s a much more nifty solution. Thanks to my colleague Daniel who pointed me to the nice proxying feature of webpack-dev-server, we don´t need to configure all the complex CORS stuff!

According to the Vue.js Webpack Template the only thing we need to configure is a Proxy for our webpack-dev-server requests. This can easily be done in the frontend/config/index.js – right inside the dev.proxyTable field:

dev: { ... proxyTable: { // proxy all webpack dev-server requests starting with /api to our Spring Boot backend (localhost:8088) '/api': { target: 'http://localhost:8088', changeOrigin: true } },

With this configuration in place, the webpack-dev-server uses the really handy http-proxy-middleware to proxy all frontend requests with a preceding /api from http://localhost:8080 to http://localhost:8088 – including changing the Origin HTTP header accordingly. Remember that our Spring Boot REST services are configured to serve those requests to /api on class level:

@RestController() @RequestMapping("/api") public class BackendController { @RequestMapping(path = "/hello") public @ResponseBody String sayHello() { return "Hello from Spring Boot Backend!"; }

The proxyTable configuration is finally used in the frontend/build/dev-server.js to configure the proxyMiddleware. We don´t need to change anything here, but I wanted to show the usage of the http-proxy-middleware:

// proxy api requests Object.keys(proxyTable).forEach(function (context) { var options = proxyTable[context] if (typeof options === 'string') { options = { target: options } } app.use(proxyMiddleware(options.filter || context, options)) })

Is the app ready for deployment?

OK, now I can´t really conceal that I love that Continuous Delivery stuff.

So no example project is complete as long as it´s not running anywhere “productively”.

As you may already have found out, the example project has a live deployment configuration for Heroku: With every push into the master branch, our Spring Boot powered Vue.js app is built by TravisCI and deployed to:

https://spring-boot-vuejs.herokuapp.com

In the course of setting up the example project I really fell in love with the great Automatic deploys feature of Heroku and Heroku Pipelines. If the “Wait for CI to pass before deploy” checkbox is selected, we get a fully working pipeline and are able to demonstrate that our example project is also ready for deployment! Thanks again for pointing me to this great platform, Benedikt!

And that´s it!

Now we found a nice way to integrate Vue.js and Spring Boot. As both are really popular frameworks in their respective domain, I hope this introduction is helpful to some of you folks. If you manage to work through all the points shown in this post, you will have a solid project setup that can be used for both local development and deployment – mainly because both Vue.js and Spring Boot bring in such great features. And as “old school” Maven is supported by nearly every platform, this setup is ready for anything you can imagine. Let me know about your great Spring Boot powered Vue.js apps!

Der Beitrag A Lovely Spring View: Spring Boot & Vue.js erschien zuerst auf codecentric AG Blog.

A Lovely Spring View: Spring Boot & Vue.js published first on https://medium.com/@koresol

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thetravelling1 · 7 years

Text

T+73: The Date.

Ok, this story is likely to be a bit of a long one, so bear with me please!

Part 1: Context

I flew out to NZ 73 days ago, with a bag holding all my possessions and an incredibly vague plan to find a job and get a visa. I didn’t know anybody here, and one part of my journey would be build a new social circle from scratch. I now have a job and a visa, and so was in the mood to celebrate.

Building a complete social circle once you get a foot in the door is relatively easy; the trick is meeting people at first. There are two approaches I’ve taken so far - Meetups and Online Dating sites. In my experience, Meetups have been much more amiable - you are there to do a specified activity, and even if you don’t click with anybody, you still get to do that thing.

In terms of online dating, I’ve used OKCupid, Tinder and Bumble. OKC is the most “thorough”, having a series of essay based questions to read about each other, and a lot of multiple choice questions that the system uses to rate how well you’re likely to match. The problem is that there aren’t many people in Christchurch on OKCupid.

Tinder has a reputation of being a “hookup” app, but in my experience that hasn’t been the case. You have a few photos and a small amount of text to give a sliver of insight into yourself - and only people who like each other’s profiles can start contacting each other. This results in less time wasted on interactions that are clearly not going to work.

Part 2: Prelude

I swiped right on Kylie’s profile for a combination of shallow and personality based reasons. She enjoys pizza, wine and board games. She likes to go walking. While she doesn’t live in Christchurch, it’s an easily travelled distance (half an hour). She has 2 kids, but the father has custody on the weekends, and she lives near supportive family. We had a nice chat and I suggested meeting up that coming weekend, on Saturday. She was in Christchurch anyway having a “Girls Day” with friends so it was perfect to meet at a pub walking distance from mine.

I won’t misrepresent things and imply that there weren’t warning signs. My housemate queried “what is she, in high school” when Kylie commented about how excited her friends were that we were meeting up - or that her friends were on the crazy side. I charitably put this down to hyperbole and someone being happy about finding someone on Tinder who’s vaguely on their wavelength, but you can take it as foreshadowing.

On the day of the date, I met up with a friend in the morning at a farmer’s market, and we went for a lovely walk up to the Port Hills over Lyttleton. Then we had lunch, and I accidentally left my NZ sim phone in the cafe. I went home for a nap and shower, put on a fresh pair of jeans and an actual shirt before heading to the pub (5:30)

Part 3: The conventional part of the date.

I got there first, and ordered myself a diet cola, then sat outside in the sun trying to get my non-sim phone to connect to Wi-fi so I could message her - when she turned up, right on time! She grabbed a glass of red and we sat outside, chatting about all sorts of stuff. She’s on good terms with her ex, her kids are handling separated parents well. She had dated another guy after separating from her husband, but I was her first date after splitting up with him.

I wouldn’t say there was romantic chemistry there per se, but we were having an amiable enough conversation and it was a nice evening and a good setting. Kylie refused a second drink as she was driving home (note: it feels like the default behaviour here is to have 1 drink if you’re driving. It’s a little unnerving but when in Rome..)...But it was looking like maybe having dinner together and/or watching a movie could be on the cards.

Part 4: A jarring sense of something unusual.

A bartender came over with a shooter, placing it on the table in front of her. “From an admirer”. This appeared to be as much of a shock to her as it was to me. We looked around and there were no hints of guys trying to muscle in. Still, this is not what you expect. The shooter appeared to be kahlua and baileys, and Kylie enjoyed it. We kept chatting, and more of the story came out.

Her “girls day” involved two of her friends, Charlotte and Pixie. Pixie had recently broken up with her bloke, and was feeling down about it. So down, in fact that she was under strict orders not to drink. Charlotte had a bloke, but doesn’t often get a chance to go out and relax, so she took the opportunity to take Pixie out to a pub. Specifically, the pub Kylie was going to.

They assured Kylie that they were just looking to hang out with some guys, and wouldn’t interfere with the date. The shooter that the bartender provided was from Charlotte, the first sign that this assurance wasn’t necessarily a firm boundary. The good news was that as Pixie wasn’t drinking, Kylie would be able to get a lift back to Pixie’s to crash - and therefore, could drink more.

I can’t remember exactly whether this fact was raised before or after the Tequila was delivered “from an admirer”. But hey, when in Rome, roll with the surprises - right?

Part 5: Genre Shift

Now we could go back to drinking normally, I went back to the bar to refill us both. Spiced Rum and Diet Coke for me, Glass of Red for her. Regardless of anything else that happened on top, this was the baseline. While I was at the bar, Charlotte turned up. We chatted, I thanked her for the shots and pointed out I was relieved it wasn’t an interloper.

Charlotte announced we’d be joining herself, Pixie and two newfound friends for Truth or Dare. Wait, what? Apparently that’s what they’d been up to since arriving. It’d been quiet enough so far that I hadn’t noticed (bear in mind that this is probably 7pm on a Saturday night, and my back had been to them). The delivered shots had been part of the dares.

The thought amused me, but I knew that wouldn’t be on the cards; we were still talking about going for food (having not eaten) so these would probably be the last drinks before making new plans. Kylie was out to meet me, and wasn’t looking to merge with the crowd.

I stepped outside, and Kylie had merged with the crowd.

Part 6: Truth or Dare

I haven’t played this since university, 14 years ago. And I didn’t play it at university, as far as I can remember. At high school...yeah ok, I’m not sure if I’ve played this game since I was a child. It’s surreal how silly the game is, the combination of risque and childlike natures butting up against each other. I’d basically decided that there weren’t going to be any romantic feelings arising, so moving away from a traditional date format wasn’t a big loss.

Charlotte and Pixie had met two other locals, and everybody seemed positive and friendly, so I stayed and resolved to go with the flow. Charlotte had oodles of personality, had a pink dress that matched her hair. Pixie was a little quieter and more reserved (maybe because she was the not drinking), her blue hair also had a matching dress. I forget the names of the two guys, but one was killing time until his Tinder date (he was going to the cinema), and the other was his mate.

It quickly became clear that I was the PG one of the group. Certainly, when compared to the ladies. Early on, I asked one of them what the most illegal thing they’d done was - I was not expecting “I once got strip-searched while holding Methamphetamines (a class A drug)” as a result. It certainly helped me out that Kylie was the one asking me, so everything had a fairly light touch.

Part 7: Interactions with other Patrons

So we’ve got the scene. 6 of us are sat round a picnic table in the courtyard of the pub. 2 guys, 3 ladies and me. Charlotte was evidently a dab hand at this; she knew to alert the bouncers - and find a safe table of other people sympathetic to the cause, to involve with dares. These dares varied from finding someone to do the Macarena to, to licking someone’s face. Yeah, that’s the level we were at by this point.

Some of these safe tables were amused by what we were doing, and before long I was being summoned by one of the tables that Kylie had gone over to chat to. A big, burly Glaswegian “invited” me to perch on his knee, so from that position we were able to confirm that yes - this was a first date, yes - we met on Tinder, and yes - we’d gotten merged with her “crazy” friends in a game of Truth or Dare. As I was explaining, Kylie sat on my knee, and Pixie sat on hers, making a chain of 4 people with the Glaswegian at the bottom. That didn’t last long.

The bartender was also becoming embroiled in the mess too, as Charlotte had noticed that he kind of liked her (not that she was interested, what with having a boyfriend). As such, when I bought a round, I was under strict instructions to announce that one of the drinks was for the girl with pink hair, and therefore it should be a special one. “I don’t think she can be shocked”, I commented. “Challenge accepted, he replied”. When he delivered the cocktail, she gave him a peck on the cheek. Then tasted it, and swapped with a friend (she doesn’t like spicy cocktails).

Part 8: Oversharing

I’m listing all of the shenanigans as if I was a passive observer. I feel like I should state for the sake of journalistic integrity that I certainly played a part, enabling the rest of the behaviour. I was happily referring to the evening as a car crash, but still going to the bar when it was my round (that as I recall came a bit more frequently than I’d expected). I wasn’t counting drinks...Maybe I could have been the voice of reason...Maybe I was enjoying the trainwreck of the evening with a morbid curiosity.

It was also interesting to hear other aspects of the ladies lives come out. Since splitting with her husband, Kylie had dated a hairdresser called Aragorn. Charlotte had previously dated Aragorn, and as the drinks flowed and the questions continued, certain home truths came out. Apparently, Kylie made lists about the things she didn’t like about her exes. I know this, because I was shown Aragorn’s list. Some of it was mundane, some explicit, and one line just said “Intellectually Inferior”. I have to appreciate the brutal honesty there.

Kylie also demonstrated her Tinder Swiping technique. Yes, on our first date I got to witness her going on Tinder and looking for other guys. The surreal-ness of the moment far outweighed any offence taken. However, the biscuit was taken when one of the ladies showed off a website she had found, where guys would post dick-pics in costume (the person, and the dicks). I still wrestle with what the appropriate reaction should have been. At the time, I went with stunned disbelief.

Part 9: Genre Shift, Part 2

The evening wore on, and the two guys decided to leave. They left most of a pint of light beer, and Charlotte decided that Pixie was safe to drink it. Charlotte found a couple of people from the “safe” tables to make up the numbers, but it didn’t really matter as the game was kinda falling apart regardless. We figured that food was probably a good idea, so we ordered a plate of Nachos (with the next round of drinks). Charlotte stays indoors for now.

When we came back, Kylie disappeared again to chat to some other newbies (I’d been helpfully informed that this was just the way she is), leaving me to chat with Pixie. It wasn’t long before a bouncer came over to have a friendly chat.

“Your friend, over there... she has to leave. She’s too drunk, and bothering other customers”.

Well, shit.

Part 10: Suddenly I’m sober

I honestly can’t remember being in the situation where I’ve been in the company of someone being ejected from a pub before. I turn to Pixie, who disappears inside (emphasis on the disappears) while I chat to the bouncer. He’s aware of my situation, and sympathetic, but can’t let Kylie stay there. I point out that we’re waiting for Nachos to hopefully sober her up. When they arrive, he offers to box them up - but she has to leave.

We head down to the picnic tables on the outskirts of the pub, and two ladies there offer to help take care of Kylie while I find her two friends, who are suddenly nowhere to be seen. I have to tell Charlotte twice (the second time with a “what the actual fuck”). Kylie falls off the chair, again. We discuss the options.

I can’t phone for a taxi, because my phone is in Lyttleton, and it’s a half hour drive back to Kylie’s.Charlotte can’t stay to help out, because there is a cute Eurasian guy at the bar she’s chatting toPixie can’t leave to take care of Kylie because she’s on her second pint now and the evening looks promising for her. The only option, Charlotte asserts is for me to take her home. I sense a nudge and a wink offered from Charlotte but not accepted by me.

I point out that while my place is walking distance, Kylie can’t walk. Pixie needs a recharge on her Vape anyway, so will ferry Kylie to mine, but not stay.I point out that she’s blackout drunk, and waking up in a stranger’s bed could be concerning to her. This doesn’t seem to be a problem.

Part 11: Exodus

So, Pixie and I both prop Kylie up and walk her to Pixie’s car. Kylie sits in the back. We drive two minutes to mine, and have to wake Kylie up. Pixie and I get her through my gate, in the front door and to my bedroom. Kylie collapses on the bed, already passed out.

My landlady is concerned that I left the gate open. While Pixie plugs in her Vape, I go close it and explain the beginnings of the situation. Pixie leaves. I explain the full story to my landlady. She understands and gets a bucket and towel, just in case. I go back into the bedroom.

Kylie’s awake, and heard everything. She is valiantly staying almost upright, outraged at the suggestion that she might throw up. We assure her it’s not a slight on her character. She says she should go. At this point, I think better of pointing out that she doesn’t really have anywhere to go, as her friends have abandoned her.

I open a bag of cookies and get a glass of water. One cookie and mouthful of water, Kylie’s back to passed out on my bed. Bowie the dog is agitated, and would be more agitated if someone slept in the living room - and there are doubts of the safety for Kylie to be passed out alone. It’s 9:30, Oh boy, it’s going to be a long night.

Part 12: Sharing a bed

I change from my shirt into a t-shirt, and get my mobile. I’m full of emotion, put on life-tilt by the way the evening totally got away with me. I’m scared for Kylie, I’m scared for myself, I’m angry at Charlotte. I can’t sleep, and so I put Youtube on and watch videos. For over 5 hours, until 3am. Kylie makes occasional movements, and occasional sounds, True to her word, she doesn’t throw up.

At 3am, Kylie wakes up and says her first statement of the new day - that she forgot how uncomfortable it is to sleep wearing a bra. I sympathise and face away as she gets comfier and then goes back to sleep. I finally allow myself to relax, and fall asleep.

At 5am, we both wake again. Kylie is a bit more talkative now; waking up in my bed didn’t phase her at all. She can’t remember how she got to mine, but takes a sip of water. We chat a little, but I’m overtired and overstretched mentally. She is due to meet up with the ladies to raise money at a local market that morning, and starts texting them. At 6:30am, they are apparently on their way. We turn the light on and she sees the bucket. “I never throw up” she comments, offhandedly.

We wait outside, and a few minutes later, Pixie drives up. Charlotte is in the car, but they are literally just picking her up and driving off. I return inside, and see her jewelry. Pixie drives back to pick up the jewelry, and they are gone.

Part 13: The Aftermath

Sleep remains elusive for a while; I don’t really sleep all day, but I don’t get up either. It messes with my mind, and my sleep pattern goes out of whack. I mean, it’s 1:15am 3 days later and I’m still a bit zombified.

I receive a message a few hours later saying Kylie made it to the market, with her friends - and they are re-evaluating their life choices.

The following morning, Kylie sends me a message to say that she appreciated me taking care of her - but needs to do some soup searching and so will be deleting her Tinder profile (that’s why I will see her disappear from my contacts list). I appreciate that, and wish her the best. She points out that she meant to type soul searching, not soup searching. I understand.

Part 14: The Lessons

I take the time I have to look back at the warning signs, see if there’s any lesson I can take from it. There were definitely some yellow flags I need to be aware of. It’s good to stay aware of what might go wrong, and how it might go wrong.

But you know what? If you never have regrets, you’re not taking enough risks. It was exhausting, and ended the wrong way - but the evening was certainly memorable, and certainly entertaining in its own screwed up kind of way.

I came out here to meet new, interesting people. On Saturday, I met an order of magnitude more people than I was prepared for, and none of them were actually obnoxious, or bad people, or in any way unfriendly or unwelcoming.

I’m grateful to the bouncer for calling it a night before Kylie did something really dangerous, and to the barman for playing along like a good sport. I’m grateful to the randoms at the bar for getting into the spirit of things and letting the forces of nature that were Kylie, Charlotte and Pixie do their thing. I’m grateful to Charlotte and Pixie for being a lot of fun throughout the evening, and legitimately caring about their friendship (I’m generously saying that their decision to have Kylie stay at mine was based on good judgment of character, knowing they can trust me and maybe slightly impaired perception).

Mainly, I’m grateful to Kylie for opening the door on what was certainly the most interesting story I’ve encountered to date, and inviting me in.

It’s going to be a while before I’m up to something like that again, though.

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