#complicated relationship with memory

[unwastelandunbaby]

I love characters that an unethical scientist would looooove to do experiments on

[binomech]

"you won't regret reading 442k+ words/over 1100 pages of pacific rim fanfic. yes, even if you don't give a shit about pacific rim. it's really good writing. please. please. especially if you're disabled and weird about your sense of individual self and would like more character studies and stories about imperfect care and living past your expiration date; or about love defining every party involved in the loving despite most of this love existing out of the bounds of the societal expectation of romance, and all the ways in which we make lives worth living outside of the institutions that harmed us. please read designations congruent with things (and other subsymbolic networks)," user hatch binomech said, proportionately hinged, praved, lusional and ranged

[recent-rose]

'man why didn't yoshiki wish for the real hikaru to come back'

yeah so yoshiki is falling in love with 'hikaru'. that's what the whole manga is about fellas

[thedeafprophet]

I don't talk a whole lot publically about the depths of Alexs relation to his Jewish background, in part because its complicated, in part because it's admitly quite personal

but he's va complicated case of someone who was always somewhat Aware he had this connection, but both never had the access to explore, was activly cut off from, and was faced in a society that really didn't want him to be. alongside so often just being in a pure matter of survival it just..wasn't an option.

that's why it's prominent, him now as an adult, wanting to learn about his mother's heritage and working backwards for that connection. hes certainly never going to believe in any sort of higher power, doesn't think he's capable of that, but...there's an importance to him, in it all.

[kinz2007]

To be loved is to be changed... comparison between Martin, a Webkinz barred owl who was one of my childhood favorite toys, and a like-new duplicate my mom gave me for Christmas one year.

I'm on the spectrum and owls were my special interest in grade school. I can still remember seeing this guy when he first came out, and begging my mom to let me buy it with my own money, which she suspiciously denied... turns out she knew my aunt had already gotten it and stashed it away for me for Christmas, and opening it up on Christmas Eve is still one of my happiest memories. He was a comfort object for me well into middle school and went with me everywhere I could possibly take him. It was at a time when a lot of other classmates were growing out of those kinds of things... but I've never not been a plushie lover. That'll be forever for me.

[divorceblogger]

I love how the conversation between louis and claudia where she tells him she would’ve probably had a better life if she’d married a man and had kids instead of being turned feels like it’s being riffed on when they bring daniel into the picture. daniel telling louis he can be his claudia in 2x05… the implication that he hopes to eventually achieve an ideal heterosexual relationship because it’s the safe and familiar thing, just like claudia fantasising that her life as a human woman in new orleans would’ve been kinder although race riots caused her death… and then we have claudia finally finding happiness when she allows herself to be honest about her desires - but daniel never really comes out of the closet. and he actually doesn’t fulfil the fantasy of heterosexual happiness that he’s constructed by staying in the closet either. and he also destroys his relationships with his wives and fails his daughters.

[spicyicymeloncat]

I hate llorumi as much as everyone else, but like can we stop saying that Harumi has a canonical family dynamic with either Garmadon or Lloyd.

There’s no family dynamic there. Not in canon.

Llorumi is bad bc of the attempted murder. And the manipulation. And the kidnapping. And the resurrecting Garmadon, robbing him of his humanity and destroying the world.

I don’t even think Harumi and Garmadon have really a family dynamic. It’s definitely not a normal one.

I think I’m just tired of people saying that Harumi and Lloyd are ‘siblings :D’ after listing why they have a toxic relationship. Like all those dynamics are still toxic either way, them being siblings does not fix any of that. It’s still just as frightening and awful. And same goes for Harumi and Garmadon. Like Harumi can have other family who aren’t the people she obsessed over to the point of destroying the city.

[superfallingstars]

Snapetober Day 15: Serpent

[crepes-suzette-373]

Read ← that way, but since the scene is short it probably don't really matter.

I really shouldn't have made any comments, because now I really want to see Niji and Sanji do a double kick someone/something. I don't mind if it's a repeat of the Totto Land escape where it's like "I still really don't like you, but that there are worse things happening so we have to work together for now".

Just a quick drawing, no context. The enemy's crispy now.

(Sanji in flipped-brow mode because I don't know if he can pull off the "disappearing" thing in normal state yet)

[otakubimbo]

The Rabbit and the Wolf

Chapter 3

You’re just starting to get used to living back in the village. Spending time with your sister. Helping out all the teams. Even enjoying times with friends. All of your friends?

1 2 3 4

18+MDNI

You hadn’t even broken a sweat. Team 7 on the other hand laid out in front of you. Truthfully they did do a good job, they were just new to being ninjas and there’s always room for growth. They had decided to take you on one at a time and then all together. Kind of a stupid idea because it just tired them out but it was good to see what they had individually. Kakashi didn’t even intervene or give any suggestions, just sat under a tree reading his perv book. You squat down to Sakuras level.

“Also, just to let you know I’m only 25. I’m not old.” You state poking her in the forehead and she groans. Kakashi chuckles softly to himself. “But since y’all at least tried your best, I’ll treat y’all to ramen.” You grin and Naruto jumps up yelling his favorite catch phrase. You chuckle, he still had some energy left, looking back at Kakashi you stand.

“I’m not paying for you though, you didn’t do anything” you state helping Sakura up groaning. Once all the kids are up, you throw your arm over Sasukes shoulder leading them to ramen. Kakashi slowly drags behind y’all. You’re going on about what they all need to work on and if they actually pay attention and train hard they may be able to land a hit on you in about 20 years.

Your face is so bright as you speak, Kakashi can barley take his eyes off of you. He was already mesmerized watching you spare with his students. Spare is a strong word but the way you danced around them so gracefully, like a dance. The way you moved always impressed him, it told everything about your skill as a ninja. Strong. Gracefully. Deadly. With a sigh, he follows behind y’all until you pick a spot to eat. This situation was going to be complicated at best, a disaster for him at worst.

The next few weeks fly by as you sit into a routine. You go visit your sister, train with Team 7, home and repeat. The boys were showing great progress, Sakura was well….doing her best? EH she was still too busy trying to impress Sasuke in a way that he really didn’t care about but ya know that’s just how some girls were. You had met with all the other teams but the 5th really wanted you to stay with team 7 for whatever reason so you only helped with training with them on the occasion. Today was one of those occasions, you were with team 8. You and Kurenai were as close as one person could really be to you because one night y’all got too drunk and you told her all your business. You really need to work on your drinking habits.

You did enjoy her team though, you really liked Hinata. She was shy and self conscious but you saw the potential, you could see it in the way that she moved. A diamond in the ruff. You and Kurenai were casually talking as her team was trying to find the scroll that you hid somewhere in the village. You actually didn’t hide anything and were wondering how long it would take for them to figure out. The most important part about being a ninja is using your head.

“So have you and Kakashi actually talked about anything other than work yet?” Kurenai asks and you groan pulling a cigarette out of your pocket and light it.

“No, and I would actually like to keep it that way. There’s literally nothing to talk about. We definitely aren’t friends anymore, just coworkers.” You relent taking a drag.

“You don’t miss him?” She questioned with an eyebrow raised which makes you grown again and roll your eyes.

“Shit, probably but that was all ruined ages ago. I ruined it and he ruined it.” You plopped yourself down under a tree. She just sighs at you with her hand on her hip. For some reason, she thinks if y’all actually just talked to each other like normal people everything would just fix itself. Impossible. If it wasn’t for your sister and the joy you were getting from helping the teams out, you would have half the mind to bury yourself back into work and never speak to him again. Even though, y’all only talked about training it still felt like old times and you hated it. You did miss him. You missed him since the day you couldn’t find him after y’all’s night together. Not even in a sexual or romantic sense, you missed you friend.

“Y/N’ Kurenai states taking you out of your thoughts, you look up at her. “It’s literally been two years, just give it a chance. We are all having drinks tonight, come.”

You were about to speak when Shino approaches, obviously realizing your trick. After congratulating him for being the first one to figure it out, y’all wait for the other two. Of course it took Kiba the longest and you almost thought you would have to go find him.

At this point, you had hoped Kurenai would have dropped the situation but she didn’t. Once her team was dismissed she stopped you before you could leave.

“You’re coming.” She says, not a question but a statement. You sigh and relent.

“Fine” You say waving her off, you agreed on seeing her tonight. Of course you wanted to go out with her, she was your friend but you spending time with Kakashi outside of training wasn’t anything you truly wanted to do. It’s not like you’ve never had casual conversations with people you’ve slept with before but obviously this was different. You were inside your own head the whole way home even while trying to get ready for the night. It’s not like you were anxious, well you were a little anxious. You’ve been in near death situations and this is what you’re anxious about. You’ve killed people and this is what you’re anxious about?!?! Before you leave you grab a bottle of sake you had and took a swig.

Once you arrive at the bar the only ones who are there are Kurenai and Asuma. Good. You can have a few drinks and maybe even a smoke before having to deal with the absurd awkwardness that was to be this night. Kurenai was happy but surprised to see you. She just knew you weren’t actually going to show up, but if you were going to not only be in the village for a while but you work closely with him again so it’ll be in everyone’s best interest to just be friends again. That was your plan at least.

You were really enjoying yourself, you really needed this time. It was so nice to actually be able to relax for once without the looming thought of having to go on another mission soon. You did need a smoke though and as you go to light your cigarette, your lighter is dead.

“Asuma, help me out” You state leaning towards him with the cigarette in your mouth. As he goes to light it for you is when Kakashi and Guy show up. You slowly pull back with your now lit cig.

“Hmmn, didn’t know you smoked.” Kakashi states sitting across from you.

“Yeah, Asuma got me in the habit. He’s a terrible influence.” You say taking a long drag. Asuma chuckles and Guy slaps in on the back with a loud laugh. That cut the awkward tension a bit and then the drinks started flowing. Well the drinks were flowing for everyone but Kakashi, he wasn’t drinking that much, he wasn’t drinking at all actually.

“Kakashi! MY FRIEND! Why are you not joining us in the drinks!” Guy exclaims, loud as ever. You pound back a shot and look at him. He glanced at you but quickly looked away.

“Just here for the company.” He shrugs sitting back.

“But you were just saying how you needed a drink tonight!” Guy still yelling and you could feel the glare Kakashi was giving him which almost made you choke on your drink with laugher. Only you and Kurenai seemed amused.

After a few more drinks and some fun conversation, you knew you were done. Everything was kind of spinning and you probably had a few too many shots, tomorrow was going to be hell. Oh well, you had a good night and it wasn’t even too awkward with Kakashi. Yall laughed at the same jokes and you even gave him a smile or two. Mostly due to the liquor but it almost felt like hold times.

“Okay. Okay. It’s time for me to go.” You confess going to stand up and almost falling over yourself.

“Kakashi! Walk her home since you’re sober.” Asuma suggests and you shoot him a wide eyed look and then an immediate glare to Kurenai. Now why was she telling her man your business.

“Oh no, it’s fine. It’s fine. I got it. Yup.” You say even though you stumble a bit but get your feet perfectly planted under yourself. Kakashi stands up anyways.

“I got it, I know the way” He says placing his hand on your shoulder to guide you out and you just let him. There was no use in making a scene because that would just make the situation even more awkward.

He’s walking with his hands in his pockets, slightly in front of you as if he was guiding the way.

“Thanks for walking me home.” Your voice barely audible, if it wasn’t for it being silent there was no way he would have heard you.

“It’s not a new thing” He says casually. Yeah he said that but it surely felt like a new thing. It wasn’t like old times. Yall walk in silence until you get to your house. As always after drinking, you fumble with your eyes. Sighing, Kakashi takes them and opens the door for you and you mumble a thanks. Before going inside you turn back to him.

“Uhm Kashi.” You softly say, the nickname feeling so familiar to him. He looks at you questioning and takes a step forward.

“Can we go back to being friends again? I don’t want things to be awkward between us anymore and….” You say, taking a pause but feeling the liquid courage hitting you “ I do miss you.”

“Friends.” He says and the way he said it confused you. You take a step forward and look up at him.

“Yeah. Friends” you state even though it felt like you could barely breath. Your eyes a little hazy and watery from having too much to drink. He looked down at you for a moment and you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Maybe he was just fine with being casual coworkers. But then he pulled his headband up and mask down. Now you were even more confused, you searched his face for any hint of what would be going on in his mind.

“Friends” He said again, a little different this time. Breathy. Slowly, you nod your head. You had no clue what was going on and it seemed as if he was also looking for answers. It was like he was waiting for something or contemplating something.

When it didn’t look like he found what he was looking for, he responded “ Friends, okay. We can be friends” and pulls his mask back up.

You just nod and he takes a step back. You blink a few times.

“Drink some water and go to bed. Goodnight” He plainly says turning away and leaving you in your door way.

This was good, yeah? Yeah. Friends. Good. Yeah.

[grahamcarmen]

i kinda wished gray was angry at carmen instead of relieved just for yknow angst and stuff like at the jail when he was like "how did u know i was here" and shes like "all in good time gray" i wish he was like "its graham. whos gray?" cuz lol yea idk if this makes sense i suck at typing

Alright i might go off on a tangent so like feel free to clarify if its too far off base from intent

But i am personally actually ok with the angst on Gray’s side being saved for later, there are so many angsty moments already stuffed in there

->the fight being draining and difficult and ultimately a failure to keep them off him

->the parallel to gray disappearing from sight because of the cleaners

-> gray still getting pain pang and helping carmen where he can

->carmen desperately trying as many keys as she can when the robot finally comes

->carmen screaming for gray after he screamed for her

Like…phew thats alot happening and i think that it would get lost in the fray

Side note:

-> him taking the info that ACME finds carmen shady and she decided to work with him and actually wondering who gray is especially because she came to find him…hmm fun

-> gray watching all those civilian gets mistaken as spy movies and going ahhhh.ha.

BUT on the sentiment of gray being angry and not just relieved.

He does start to say it’s graham before he’s interrupted. And he has always been exasperatedly trying to put it aside to try and just be with her in the moment

Like…askjdnfdaksjf look at this face

Relief is not the only emotion here

And it does come to its breakpoint

because well  [the point is she’s lying to him.- bugs life voice]

And what a breakpoint it is because Carmen is not allowed to pretend that the person in front of her doesn’t have a thing to say about who she was protecting* 

So its not angst denied but angst delayed if that makes sense and the himalaya caper puts it into more focus than the jail could

Like  “alas why did he not simply look into her yearny eyes and make a decent life choice for once” aside [which is so fun to say]...

but the thing is …it's something that i do think gray gets to be mad about at that moment [not that he isn’t making a terrible life choice on the side but-]

…she lied to him by omission and flat out. And only came to rescue a fake version of him as far as he’s concerned. A fake version it seems she was pretending even further with by calling him gray and not graham.

….

GAH THIS IS WHY I DON’T GET WHY YOU GUYS THINK BLANKET LETTING CARMEN HAVE ZERO REVISIONS ON HOW SHE SEES HIM IS OK

And no just enemy who !had his chance at the cotillion you! doesn’t work as the final verdict either >:0

 [you're making the carmen sad and that has literally never worked plus carmen is just wrong for this on some level]

They’re so messy dude…like there’s so much to unravel and him being firm but straightforward about it is at least picks at this issue good enough for the moment…oof…was a lot like …oogh

But necessary. Gray is a person who actually has a reaction to this ya know [or character i mean- same thing].

His anger tends to be overshadowed by a lot else is all…[T.T multiple mistakes in a row babeyyyyyyyyyy] + his own prioritizing when it comes to his own emotions

And to make matters worse….OMFG THEY STILL LIKE EACH OTHER THEY’RE STILL SO MUCH MORE SAD INSTEAD OF MAD ABOUT IT ALL AND WANT TO BE TOGETHER AND ALL THE LIES BEING UNVEILED JUST MAKES THE TRUTH MUCH MORE NECESSARY AND IMPORTANT OMGGGGGGG GRRAH WHY ARE YOU 2 BEING SQUISHY CRIMES HAVE BEEN COMMITED!

They just need to tone down the nonsense…be even more honest with each other …they be wild out here…ya’ll can do it with time i believe in ye, even if that will mean more tough conversations with each other, i think they like each other enough

But yes. Him mad at it DOES make good angst. ..and tbh not even for just that moment…because …

[fartemis-crock]

the best thing dc comics has done in the last decade is make artemis take on the mantle of sportsmaster in the stargirl tv show. in this essay, I will---

[laugtherhyena]

Thinking about Dagger and how tragedy afflicts her in one way it another no matter how her life goes.

[my-fancy-hat]

i love writting and interpersonal relationships between characters

[pensierisparsisblog]

...alcuni ricordi li tieni stretti,

altri tengono stretto te... 🦋

[timeskip]

Centinel isn't in a time loop, he's causing the time loops. But maybe that's worse? What does it mean to know exactly what's happening inside the pocket world you've created, but not experience it fully yourself? To twist time in your hands until you know you have control of the situation? Isn't that the same as being inside the loop? He's making this happen over and over on purpose for various reasons but mostly he just feels a need to hold onto that moment. He's lived a thousand years and he watched the person who mattered most to him die and he can't stop wanting that time back. But he can never get her back. He can only ever trap himself in a time loop by trapping other people in the loop. And maybe if he traps Wayfinder then he'll be able to stop them from disappearing too.