#considering ive done at LEAST three portraits of him in my life

[heartofwritiing]

Lies

Paring(s): slight!Actor!Mark x fem!reader, Darkiplier x fem!reader

a/n: #16 from this prompt list. “All he ever did was use you. Why can’t you see that? “

Ive changed this fic some many time and have been writing and editing it for WEEKS so here it is! Its really rough so please ignore any mistakes I had to edit this myself and If i missed something please just ignore it lol I just really wanted to get this out! This is my take on ending 31 from a heist with markiplier hope you enjoy! 

this wasn’t requested Im just in a angsty mood :/

Warning(s): Angst, crying and more angst.

The last thing I remember was walking down a hallway of portraits of people whose eyes were covered with a stripe of black paint. I kept receiving messages from an unknown number and when I reached the end of the hall the last painting had Mark standing on a staircase in a red robe that started peeling away then my vision went black. I felt sick, my head was pounding with pain and my body felt heavy. I opened my eyes to more darkness and ringing in my ears. two arms engulfed me into an embrace. I tried pushing away but I was too weak. Their voice went through my ears making me wince.

“Name?”

The voice turned into a hushed whisper, my hearing started coming back slowly making everything sound muffled.

“Please, can you hear me?” the voice pleaded.

My eyes slowly lifted open revealing nothing and I began to panic. Was I dead? No, don’t be dumb Name. The person said my name again pulling me from my thoughts and the gears in my head began to turn. I looked up and wanted to cry. Damien?

“Damien,” I whispered.

“He’s here darling,” he said reaching his hand up to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear, a gentle touch that made my cheeks warm up.

I was confused at his words and the way he had spoken, the tone of his voice seemed sad and hurt Dameins eyes searched mine. I had been quiet for a few minutes. I was trying to process how he was here.

“It's alright you're safe now” He smiles softly.

I think he could tell I was dazed and confused but what did he mean by safe? My head is aching, pounding pain shot through my brain as I tried to remember anything. This didn’t feel real and everything just felt hazy. It felt like a dream and I had to know if I was awake.

“Kiss me,” I blurt out.

  He seems shocked for a second probably thinking this wasn’t this time nor place to do this but I needed to feel him.

“I need to know this isn’t a dream or some fantasy of mine,” I tell him.

  Without another word, his hand reached down under my chin to tilt my head back up. His black soulless eyes connected with mine for a moment before he pressed his lips to mine. A knot formed in my stomach when he grabbed my hips bringing our bodies closer, my breath hitched, our lips brushing against each other made my head spin. I reached up to tug on his hair and he let out a breathy moan into my mouth. Pulling away our breaths mixed and his eyes were clouded with lust. This felt real. The feeling of his chilled lips was real. He was real.

  “Did that feel like a dream?” He breathed out. God. Butterflies were punching the inside of my stomach trying to break free. If I had the physical strength to lean up on my toes to kiss him again I would. All I could muster was a little nod, he chuckled

“I’ve got to get you away from here,” he spoke after a minute.

   Damien took my hand in his leading me through the nothingness and my mind began to race with questions. What was going on, I needed answers and I wasn't going to be pushed aside anymore. It has always been like this. I would forget everything and be dragged around by everyone and I was fed up with the games. I stopped and yanked my hand out of Damien’s grip. He turned to me, his face frowned pure confusion across his face.

“Name, I don’t have the time to explain-”

“No!” I shout. I was tired of being scared

“I want to know what's going on, no more lies or secrets Damien.” I was so frustrated, tears started welling up in my eyes.

   Damien sighed, clenching his fists, trying to suppress his anger. He walked closer to me and placed his hands on the sides of my face and everything turned white. Flashes of people, memories flooded through seeing a mansion and then a group of people playing poker. the night of Mark’s poker game, things went horribly wrong. The whole event was a trap in order for him to get revenge. I died. He took over my body, throwing my soul into a mirror and prisoning me for a hundred years. until Mark had found me and erased my memories replacing them with one of me and him together. Lastly, I saw how Damien became this new form he called himself Dark and that Damien was gone forever but he still had his memories.

   My vision returned to see Dark standing away from me now everything was coming back into my brain slowly. My mouth fell open and I remembered, Damien was the love of my life, and to hear that he was dead broke my heart. I started to cry again, grief, sadness, and anger rolled into one coming out as a sob. How could I forget?

“For all these years I thought you were gone,” His voice was trembling.

  I stared at him as he stood a few feet away from me, tears rolled down his grey cheeks and onto his white suit.

“I never forgave myself for killing you,”

  “I don’t understand why Mark would do all of this,” I said, but I understood it completely. I just didn’t want to accept the fact Mark became mad with jealousy and wanted to make William miserable.

  “He’s our friend. Friends would never do anything like this,” my bottom lip started quivering.

“He wouldn’t, he-”

   Dark said my name in a hushed whisper and grabbed my shoulders slightly causing me to look up at him as he began to speak.

  “I know it’s hard to understand any of this but, he’s been manipulating you, Making you forget everything, Forget me.” He said. “Mark is not a good person and I have to get you away from him.”

   I didn’t want to accept what Mark had done. Mark had been there for me when we were kids and always have been so close, I wanted to help him. Dark had explained that Mark’s mansion overtime began to host some sort of entity to put ideas into his head, and it conjured up this idea of getting all the people who wronged Mark together to get revenge. I wanted to help my friend even if he was being controlled. I could tell Dark was reading my thoughts. I could see it in his eyes, he clenched his jaw screwing his eyes shut.

He inhaled before he opened his mouth to speak.

  “You’re not actually considering helping him.” His teeth grit. “After what he’s done, to you, to all of us.” His voice raises and the light around his form pules red. I try not to think about it, maybe it was just this place or my eyes tricking me.

“He’s our friend, Damien,” I plead.

His jaw clenched.

“That’s not my name anymore,” He said bitterly.

  I was shocked at his words. He was angry with me, now I really knew Damien was gone.

   “ALL HE EVER DID WAS USE YOU. WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT!?!” Dark yelled, suddenly gripping my arms harshly.

   I jumped, the whole area around us shakes and feels like it's cracking, falling apart at his outburst. Darks aura was buzzing and glowing red showing off his anger and frustration. After a moment his body relaxed and his shoulders dropped, he mumbled an apology I barely heard and stood up straight. Dark struggled to stand when he fell backward suddenly, I grabbed his hands so he didn’t hit the ground trying to keep him on his feet but something was pulling to let my grip go.

  I squeaked when Dark fell back and yanked me with him, his back hit the floor with a thud that echoed and our chests collided. I groaned and slowly sat up on his thighs our hands still laced together as he sat up

  “Its Mark, he knows I’m with you,” His eyes stared into mine and I could’ve sworn for a moment that they shifted into a dark brown color. My heart swelled thinking that those were Damiens eyes looking through. “He’s trying to separate us again.”

  “I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry,” he spoke in a regretful tone. “This is the only way I’ll ever be able to see you again,” Dark lifted his hands to the sides of my head again, his eyelids closing in concentration. I was bracing myself for what was about to happen and soon sleep began to take over my body and my eyes fell closed.

~

  Dark cradled a unconscious Name against his chest stroking her hair every few seconds. He knew it made her calm even if she wasn’t conscious, he knew she could feel his presence and the feeling of his fingers in her hair. He sat there in the darkness like for the past hundred years being stuck in his own head. Names body began to disappear and Dark was alone; she was with Mark now and would be until he found her again. And could finally take her to a safe place forever. He looked up into the void, praying she would be safe soon.

~

  I stood in front of the museum beside Mark yawning and trying to fight my eyes shutting. I looked down at my timer watch and the numbers 2:30 am looked back at me. I looked down at my satchel and belt making sure I had all my tools and my grappling hook was secured to my hip. I sighed before turning to Mark to see him checking his equipment as well.

“Why are we doing this again?” I ask.

Mark’s head lifts to catch my eyes for a second then going back down.

  “You said you wanted to go on another adventure right?” He reminds me.

   A heist at almost three in the morning when I should have been asleep was not what I meant by going on a crazy adventurer. Going on a trip to Europe like we’ve always talked about maybe but not the local museum in the town we lived in. Mark said that what we were stealing had some importance to it so I was willing to help my friend out.

   “Yeah but I’m tired, you should have at least made me coffee before we left so I could actually function.” I scowl. He shakes his head and laughs. 

   Mark takes his grappling hook off his belt and walks towards the brick building raising his arm he pulls the trigger and the hook goes flying up and catching the ledge of the roof. I do the same and we both walk up the side of the building tiring to be as quiet as possible walking to a small open vent that leads into the museum. I follow Mark’s lead and begin to think this was a bad idea and should’ve kept my mouth shut last week but continued.

[unfortunatelysirius]

CHOCOLATE FROGS AND LOVE NOTES // REMUS LUPIN X READER // PART V

Prior Installments: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV 💟☼💟 PROMPT 💟☼💟 ☾ ¡Original! ☾ Remus Lupin and Y/N L/N have anonymously exchanged notes through a library table for over six months. When Sirius and James start meddling, will they put Remus’s love life in jeopardy or get the pot of lurve brewin’? 💟☼💟 A/N 💟☼💟 guess who’s back again my dudes?! hopefully i’ll be able to get out some more updates before school starts back on the eighth. i’m definitely banking on getting out the next updates of not your girlfriend and whispers in the dark! and hopefully, maybe a few requests ;) btw there’s only one more part in this series!! and after that, any extras will have to be requested! 💟☼💟 WORD COUNT 💟☼💟 2239 💟☼💟 TAG LIST 💟☼💟 @kapolisradomthoughts @rageofcaliban @saucyleftovers @bunnymother93 @siriuslyr5 @apareciumimagines @random-quartz @ruefulposts @teacupwizard @sunny-day15 @themissinghippogriff @bellawolfi @semifunctionalhomosapien @pinkettepoet @allwhocansee @theravenclawlover

           When Y/N L/N walked into the common-room after a strenuous effort doing Astronomy homework in the library, she was not expecting to see James Potter and Lily Evans huddled together on the sofa. She stopped just inside from the Fat Lady’s portrait, eyebrows going up to the end of her forehead. “What the bloody hell…” she muttered.

         The pair of scheming oddballs snapped their heads in Y/N’s direction at the fine hearing of her utterance, and the smaller of the two went white with panic while the bespectacled prankster was just calmly lounging back. “Oh, uh, hi, Y/N!” said Lily, hand waving too frantically to be considered even remotely unsuspicious. “Fancy seeing you here… ha ha.”

         James was much more suave, throwing up a hand and charmingly saying, “’Ello, Y/N.”

         Y/N shook her head in confused exasperation, and instead of questioning the unlikely pair of partners-in-crime, she passed them by and went straight up the stairs that led to the girls’ dormitories.

         Meanwhile, Lily was staring—doe-eyed and white as a sheet—at James. “That was close,” she whispered.

         James just shook his head and laughed, putting on a game face when Lily’s stricken gaze went into a ruthless glare. “Alright, now where were we…”

-        -

The next day, Lily forced Y/N from bed, too excitable to be calmed by the groans and glowers she received from their fellow dorm-mates. “C’mon, it’s Gryffindor’s match against Ravenclaw!”

Y/N groggily opened her eyes, turning away from the opening of her curtains when she saw the light streaming through. “Since when are you… so excited about Quidditch?” Y/N groaned, peeping up from her pillow when she heard Lily giggle elatedly. Merlin’s beard, she must really fancy James for wanting to get up this early in the bloody morning, thought Y/N, unaware how very wrong she was.

         “Up, up, up!” Too drowsy to fight, and too annoyed to speak, Y/N allowed Lily to force her into a standing position. The redheaded girl grinned and turned Y/N around, using her wand to nonverbally fix Y/N’s wild mane of bed-induced frizz. In just minutes, Y/N’s hair was in perfect, bouncy curls. “Now get dressed!”

         Y/N was almost scared to voice her irritation for Lily’s morning high-maintenance, and merely allowed Lily to drag her to their shared closet, forced into an airy dress, fit with a cloak so that Y/N would stay warm in that day’s cold, crisp weather. Lily wrapped a Gryffindor scarf around her neck, and tossed a pair of heeled boots at her feet. “Put ‘em on!”

         “Yes, Mum,” mumbled Y/N with a roll of her eyes, on the very cusp of arguing, but knowing all effort was futile when in the face of Lily Evans. She grudgingly pulled on the wedges, went and brushed her teeth in their joint bathroom, then was yanked from the dorm, barely having a chance to grab her wand and satchel.

         “Are you excited for the game?” asked Lily, grinning at Y/N’s lost face. “I know you weren’t planning on going, but… I couldn’t resist! I wouldn’t want to sit alone, you know.”

         “You could always have shared a seat with Remus!” Y/N barked. She wasn’t much of a morning person. “I wanted to sleep in today.”

         “Oh, quit whining,” said Lily, dragging Y/N into the Great Hall. Without skipping a beat, she added, “Wouldn’t you rather be the one to sit beside Remus, anyhow?”

         “I really can’t stand you sometimes.” Of course, Y/N was joking, but she hated the thought that bloody Lily knew who she fancied. Now she faced torment and teasing every day from the girl, as well as from Marlene, Mary, and Alice. It was quite humiliating, honestly.

         The two reached the Gryffindor table, and Y/N couldn’t help but notice that the only open seats were two between Sirius and Remus. Lily released Y/N’s hand and plopped down beside Sirius. That left Y/N no choice but to walk slowly and sit beside Remus… and the two shared a fleeting glance that left them both looking away, cheeks tinted red.

         It was only a few minutes of them all sitting in silence before James burst into the Great Hall, already clad in his Quidditch uniform. “Ready for the most humiliating loss of the season, birds?” called James to the Ravenclaws mockingly, before he was forcing a kid to move at the Gryffindor table, sitting across from Sirius and the rest. He caught Remus’s embarrassed gaze and grinned, winking at him. But really, unbeknownst to Remus, that wink was meant to trigger the second step in his and Lily’s plan…

         “Hey, Y/N,” said Lily suddenly. “I think I left something in the library yesterday. You fancy going with me to get it before the game?”

         A look of apprehension crossed Y/N’s face, but she didn’t like the idea of Lily going alone, so she nodded along. “Of course, yeah.”

         Remus starred hard at James from his seat, wondering if this was all some ploy of James’s that somehow now involved Lily. James blinked innocently in response, causing Remus to drop his head into the table with a loud groan.

         Shooting Remus a concerned glance, Y/N hardly had the chance to ask if he was alright. Lily pulled her right up and forced her to start walking.

         “What the hell are you doing, Prongs?” hissed Remus when they were out of earshot, his glare so vicious that James nearly wet himself with fear.

         “Ahahaha… nothing, of course.”

         Remus groaned, yet again, looking so stress-induced that Sirius had the audacity to pat his back. All he got in response was a hard shove, and the puppy-like teenager was falling from the bench with a loud yelp.

         “Bloody mongrel,” grumbled Sirius. All Remus had to do was pretend-lunge at him, and the boy was shutting right up.

         Meanwhile—minutes later—Lily and Y/N arrived at the library. Lily, putting on a front so Y/N wouldn’t grow suspicious, swooped underneath the nearest table and began to frantically pat the ground as she looked for this mysterious object. A tad bit irritated, Y/N thought to do the same, but did the table nearest the fiction section.

         Y/N mindlessly patted the ground, not even looking where she was going as she crawled from beneath the table. She knew she looked a right idiot searching for something she didn’t even know the appearance of, but frankly, she didn’t give a damn. After all, how hard could it possibly be to find something that didn’t belong in a library? Unless it was a book—then the two of them would really be deep in trouble…

         “I can’t find it!” Lily whisper-shouted. “Can you look over by the restricted section? Please? I think I may have sat there yesterday!”

         Grumbling obscenities under her breath, Y/N begrudgingly did as told… and found her head whacking something flimsy and papery. “Ouch!” she squeaked, hand smacking against her forehead as she rubbed where the offending object had made contact. Finding no bumps or marks, she then reached out that same hand beside her. She found herself grasping a piece of parchment. “What the…”

         “Find anything?” Lily said from across the ways.

         Y/N didn’t respond. Her heart beating wildly, she slowly undid the tape keeping the folded halves shut, and unraveled the note. She found herself faced with the same note she wrote to her pen-pal just a few days ago.  “What the…”

         There was a hastily-scribbled P.S. on the back, she found—and it was not what she expected in the slightest—

         I know who you are. And maybe you know who I am. Here’s a clue.

         Right underneath the barely-legible words was three surprisingly-remarkable drawing. One was of a fifth-year report card, complete with straight O’s and E’s. Second was a drawing of Peeves, holding a bucket of water balloons. And the last drawing was of two beautiful hazel-brown eyes… two hauntingly familiar hazel-brown eyes…

         Y/N gasped. Her hand went limp, and with it went the note, free-falling like a feather until it gently knocked into her exposed knee. “Oh, bloody Merlin…”

         If she didn’t have a bad feeling about today already, now her gut was a pot bubbling with unrest. The words and the drawings were too startling for her to realize the handwriting wasn’t even a remote match to her pen-pal’s amorously neat scrawl.

         Her pen-pal was Remus bloody Lupin, and he knew exactly who she was.

       💟☼💟 💟☼💟 💟☼💟 💟☼💟

      “Lily, I don’t have a good feeling about this,” said Y/N hurriedly. After finding that indeed, Lily hadn’t forgotten anything the day before and the whole trip was both a waste of energy and of thought, Y/N spent the entire excursion back trying to convince her friend not to make her go. She didn’t know if she could face Remus without breaking out into hives and fainting. Bloody hell! She thought she’d been betraying the bloke by crushing on an anonymous pen-pal, but really, they were the same bloody person! Who would have thought this to be possible? And Lily was not aware (at least to her extent of knowledge, which wasn’t very far) of Y/N’s months-long writing expedition, so really, she had no one to turn to with this sudden revelation besides the beholder of revelation himself.

         And Y/N didn’t feel like embarrassing the fuck out of herself when she’d done just that the other day, during that dreadful session of Veritaserum—wait.

         Y/N came to a screeching halt in the middle of the corridor, ignoring Lily’s bemused expression. “Bloody fucking hell!” cursed the girl, throwing her hands into the air in frustration. “I did it to myself… fuck. Bloody Sirius and his stupid half-arsed questions about books!”

         “What are you talking about?” asked Lily, looking a bit wary of her friend’s insane-sounding rant.

         With Lily’s interruption, Y/N immediately sobered up. She forced her expression back down into a nervous one, and just shook her head. “A-Ah, nothing… nothing, of course.”

         Lily raised an eyebrow, but secretly, she was smirking. She knew exactly what had the short-tempered Gryffindor in such a tizzy. But would she reveal her cards before the real fun even had the chance to begin? Obviously not. “Oh, okay… well, let’s get going! The match starts soon, and I’d prefer good seats, ya know.”

         “To see James the best?” Y/N forced a smile, forced her mind to stop with the persistent thoughts of Remus, Remus, Remus, as she nudged the redhead’s shoulder.

         Lily suddenly looked cross, but only for a simple moment. She was back to grinning as she chirped, “No, so you can sit beside Remus! Knowing Sirius, all his bloody fans will flock to his corner, so it may be hard to find a seat near them, as you know—“

         “I don’t want to sit with Remus!” Y/N blurted out.

         This had Lily halting in the middle of the corridor, turning to look at her friend with a bemused, outraged expression. “You don’t?” she hissed. “How in Merlin’s name are you going to get together if you keep avoiding your crush, Y/N?”

         “We just won’t, then, I guess,” the embarrassed girl said, looking away from Lily as shame arose in her stomach. Lily Evans sure had a way of making anyone and everyone feel bad about themselves. “I just—I don’t want to make a fool of myself!” Translation: I don’t want to let it slip that I know he knows!

         Lily giggled. “You’re being dramatic.”

         “No, I’m being perfectly reasonable.”

         “Oh, darling, you passed that mark the moment you decided to fancy a Marauder,” Lily said seriously, before yanking on Y/N’s hand. The girl came flopping forward, a frown on her face; of course, Lily chose to ignore her pal’s obvious unwillingness, and focused on the plan. With that, she pulled Y/N all the way to the Quidditch pitch.

         Sirius was sitting at the front of the Gryffindor-supportive bleacher, alongside his fellow Marauders (sans one James Potter), and he rose a hand when he saw Y/N and Lily arrive at the stands. “Over here!” he called, using said hand to wave them over.

         Lily smiled, while Y/N tried to ignore Remus’s gaze. The bloke was looking at her! How come she never noticed that ever since that day in Potions, he was always staring at her? Had she contracted some sort of disease that made her oblivious to all and any things obvious? Merlin’s beard! She was becoming dense.

         “Hello, Sirius! Hello, Remus! Hello, Peter!” Lily chirped when the two of them finally got to their station. As a reaction to Lily’s surprising acknowledgment to the three of them, Sirius waved, Remus frowned, and Peter mumbled, “Hi, Lily.” It was weird, how they all seemed to know something Y/N didn’t, and she supposed that maybe they did. Remus obviously didn’t realize that Y/N now knew the extent of his own knowledge, so that was something she definitely had the upper-hand on. Not that she wanted the upper-hand. Quite frankly, she wished she was still oblivious.

         Then she wouldn’t care to overanalyze the emotions behind Remus’s gaze.

         And with Lily choosing her seat beside Peter, leaving Y/N no choice but to sit between Remus and Sirius, something fishy seemed to be going on… And it made Y/N wonder if all four of the people sitting around her were perfectly aware of what was happening.

         Y/N sighed. This was going to be a long, long game.

[vintagemiserie]

it has been too long since ive posted a drabble >:3 so here one is

Daniel kept his eyes fixed on Mick, if not directly making eye contact. He had trouble with that sort of thing even with people he was close with, let alone the steely-gazed, quiet drummer whom he’d said maybe a word or two to in his life. He took the bottle of beer and tried to hold it steady, even if he was shaking with nervousness.

Eventually he had to look away from Mick and take a sip or three, and once he did that he couldn’t get his eyes to go back. “Thanks,” he muttered into his beer, wondering if Mick was convenient enough to have a gun on hand that he could shoot Daniel with. Or vice versa, that would be fine too. Anything to get this whole hang out thing over and done with. Every breath made the glass hum, at least until he moved it after another sip.

Mick hummed, perhaps considering whether he was allowed to be judge, jury, and executioner, before diving in. “What’re you going to school for?” He asked, a deep knife gouging into Daniel’s chest, turning more and more with every second Daniel waited to answer.

“I’m not,” he eventually managed. He didn’t want to hear another word, no “aw, but why not” like when Heather asked him what schools he was applying to. Unfortunately, Daniel realized with an ill grimace, that meant he had to continue on. “Maybe I will when my dad gets sick of me being a leech, trying to make this work. I can just get into U-Dub and do whatever John did and use all his work, or something.” He didn’t care if it wasn’t a flattering portrait—he wasn’t exactly a pretty face.

“Aw, come on, man,” Mick said with a chuckle, “you’ve gotta have something you’re interested in. What’d you be doing if you weren’t doing music?”

Daniel shrugged. “Missed the boat for hockey,” he said. It was a non-answer, because he hated to think that his answer was nothing, I’d be doing nothing. Saying that meant he could at least sound enthusiastic about something besides making the band work out. “If I could’ve kept at it after my Dad went to Spokane, and played in junior leagues and stuff, I probably wouldn’t even be here. You’d be reading headlines about how some short rookie forward was traded to Edmonton for a million bucks.”

“I don’t doubt it.” Mick took a long sip, himself. “You remind me of Jamison, in a way. Very ambitious.” He sat up and set his beer on the coffee table, turning to look at Daniel.

He hated having Mick’s eyes on him. He utterly hated it. It made him uncomfortable, and it seemed almost intentional. He wanted to ask why the hell he was being put through this. His eyes wouldn’t reach Mick, not by a longshot, but he could at least keep them fixed forward instead of turning away entirely. “What is being a session musician like? Think I’d have a chance at it if this thing doesn’t work?” Daniel stuttered out. He didn’t like the comparison, not when Jamie was such an asshole to him. He didn’t even really like being reminded that Jamie had a full name.

Mick seemed to let it slide. “It’s like any job. You can’t be too passionate, you just have to do what’s asked of you and do it well. I’m not sure you’d like it.” It was a disappointing answer, but Daniel understood why.

Thankfully, sitting there cradling his beer, Daniel kept himself in check. He wanted to get up and leave, or ask why he was being mocked and embarrassed like this. John would hum and take the glasses off of Daniel’s face and tell him that he really overreacted there, if he did do any of that stuff and if John was there with him. He tried to imagine he was sitting against John, tried to imagine his boyfriend’s slender fingers playing idly with his hair. It didn’t really work.

“That’s a shame,” Daniel said, losing energy rapidly. He wanted to lay in John’s bed with his face pressed against a pillow because he could barely go the three or four days a week he saw John without missing him anyways and he just wanted to smell him, as weird and creepy as he felt articulating that thought. With a sip of beer, he leaned back and wondered why he had to be gay and short. He wondered if he’d have ever met John or started dating him if he had ended up in the junior league. He could barely think about the conversation now that he’d set himself on such a different route. “How’d you even meet Jamie, anyway?” He asked, hoping that would get himself back together.

After all, it was weird that a real, professional musician was in some rich kid’s stupid punk band (well, Daniel didn’t know if Jamie was rich-rich, but he was sure as hell getting dough from his parents). “I dated his older sister for about a month in college,” Mick said. Daniel got his gaze over enough to know that he was smiling.

“I don’t think he likes me,” Daniel muttered, deciding that Mick’s explanation was boring enough that he didn’t need to comment on it.

“He doesn’t like that you could break up the band,” Mick said as if it were some sort of clarification. They all knew the truism—it wasn’t like Daniel didn’t know that he was dating a bandmate.

With a sigh, he let his gaze return to the comfort of anywhere besides Mick’s vicinity. He had been too busy staring at his hands to get a look around at the apartment, and for what it was worth he had things laid out pretty nice. There were some pretty shelves with books and records on them, a decent little TV, and a plant of some sort in the corner. There was a rug under the couch and coffee table. He was back to looking at his hands and the beer bottle. “He doesn’t need to make me feel so bad about it, though.” The sort of shame that came with talking about how Jamie talked down to him felt similar in his stomach and on his cheeks to the shame he felt talking about his mom, or about how badly bullied he was for so long. If he stood up for himself then Jamie would have no other choice than to can it with the jokes exclusively at Daniel’s expense.

There was a palpable silence, one that felt heavy. Daniel could feel the blood rush through his ears. “Would you be out if you weren’t dating John?” Mick asked.

“Absolutely not,” Daniel replied. He hated how fast he answered the question, since it seemed like Mick was anticipating he’d have to think about it for even just a second. “It’s basic self-preservation.” Self-preservation which he could sacrifice for a bit of happiness, however fleeting. He couldn’t imagine how desperate he’d probably be if John had rejected him—he couldn’t imagine where he’d even be living.

Based on the tone of Mick’s hum, it seemed he took out of Daniel’s answer an ample amount of unhappiness.

“Thanks for the beer,” Daniel murmured, as if that would relieve anything. He knew he was depressing to be around, angry but too meek to do anything about it. Transient. Stupid as hell and with nothing to redeem that fact. He just wanted to play shows, release music, that whole shebang. He wanted his name out there, he wanted fame, he wanted everything besides having to actually talk to people. This wasn’t some post-game interview he played out in his head, the sort he could bullshit his way through with a grin on his face. He’d have to speak to Mick again, over and over and over, because they were bandmates. Even if Mick made him terrified. “You sure Jamie doesn’t hate me?” Daniel asked.

“Absolutely,” Mick said, setting a hand on Daniel’s shoulder.

He wondered what was going through Mick’s head, if he was actually willing to deal with how flighty and anxious Daniel was in the long-term. Daniel swirled around the beer at the bottom of the bottle, wondering how he’d drank through it so fast, and set it on the coffee table. If Mick’s hand was lighter, he would have almost been able to imagine John was there with him.

[batsysims]

100 QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS

I was tagged by @tickledsims ty ily!!

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? CLOSED when i was younger my little sister had a baby doll that would talk on its own at night and we called it the demon baby and hooooly shit

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i dont take those bc my hair cant take cheap hair products but i do take the soaps!!

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i put the mattress cover sheet thingy on my bed but i dont use an actual sheet :/

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? nah lol

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? YES i love using office supplies i could spend all day at staples omg

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? no lol but il save the lil receipt coupons and find them in my wallet months after they expire

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? yep!! i love them its why im scared to use foundation i dont wanna lose em

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? i either smile or if my moms takin the pic il make a stupid face 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? i have terrible road rage...... um........... i also hate it when men interrupt me i just walk away at that point 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah i pretty much count everything

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? i dont think so??

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? def not lmao

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? i have an eating dance, a drinking dance, and a video game playing dance hahaa

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yes ugh it annoys me but i cant stop

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? at LEAST 0

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? i think its a single? a single or a twin either way im miserable send help

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? ummm probably You by Weird Milk?? its the most recent song i added on spotify so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yeah def unless its one of those “real men wear pink shirts” like just.... stop

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? sometimes my sister makes me watch stevens universe?? il watch phineas and ferb too bc honestly who doesnt anime too but not always cartoon ones or w/e

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? 2001: A Space Odyssey and Daughters of the Dust come to mind

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? u kno where ;) no how big is the treasure?? if its a lil bit id put it in that drawer under the oven bc my family never uses that but if its BIG TREASURE id hide it in the backyard of the last house i lived in bc a. nobody lives there now and 2. its totally overrun with green bc of like two floods

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water! only water ever

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? honey if theyre mcnuggets but other than that i use honey mustard!

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicky parm

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? honestly Inception is my feel-good movie

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a lil babu

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? i was in girl scouts much longer than i ever wanted to be lmao WISH i coulda done BOY SCOUTS

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? aboutttt three months ago!

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no but i can watch

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? when i first got my license yea :( 15 yr olds are dum

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? twice! very good memories

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? egg salad gud

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? the all star breakfast at waffle house yasssss

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? honestly like 9 since i always have to wake up at 7 in the am but il stay up til 11 if i can

37. ARE YOU LAZY? absolutely when have ACTIVE ppl done ANYTHING

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was usually a cat bc i never could find a costume i liked smh but when i was 2 i went as winnie the pooh lmao

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? ox!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? just english but im tryna learn spanish and japanese and im fluent in french if a two year olds speech patterns can be considered as such

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? LEGOS lincoln logs are big with nostalgia thoooo

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? with dumb shit yeah but i usually just dont care enough abt stuff to deal

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? theyre both old idc

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? no lol

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? not really tbh i like the adrenaline

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? if im alone!! nobody deserves to hear that

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nahhh

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? when im in the drive thru haaaa

50. EVER USED A GUN? id like to go to a shooting range some time but ive never used one im also very anti gun so i probs would never buy one unless it was a cute lil glock i can handle well

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? st patricks day it wasnt technically for me tho

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? not in general but when ppl start obsessing over a certain one for months on end abt a certain time period and certain performers and certain songs and certain people of history i start wanting ppl to die

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? YEAH I NEVER HAVE MONEY WTF

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? my sisters obsessed with them so yea but never like. authentic polish potato pockets or anything just a frozen box of em

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? apple?? im not rly into pie tbh

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? ive wanted to go into law enforcement/criminology my whole life!! for a sec i wanted to be a firefighter, a journalist/writer/poet, and some sort of artist but u know how kids are

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i tried to find that clip from malcolm in the middle for like ten mins but i couldnt yea

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? doesnt everyone tho?

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no im a bad adult

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? im not rich!!

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? ive never been to one! i was gonna go see metallica in baltimore but i moved before i could smh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart sry targets cool but too much money!!! i go there for home things tho does kmart still exist

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? ADIDAS ive been trying to get a full adidas tracksuit for YEARS

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? fritos! i like the super hot cheetos tho

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? peanutsssss

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope but they must be good im keepin @tickledsims response bc it made me laugh

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? when i was a lil babu i took ballet and gymnastics a lil later

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? i hope to never have a spouse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yep

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? ive actually never even had a spelling bee im sure theyre a myth

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? i think so??

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? nahhhhh

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? no but i had a roommate who did i fell in love

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah ok lol so one time when i was a sophomore my french teacher had to use a substitute teacher and hes the reason i believe in love at first sight im STILL in love with him wtf ive also had a bf haha im hilarious

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? i dont really do concerts so i couldnt say but i think matd would be fun!!

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? oh my god

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? i dont rly like either but i prefer snickerdoodles over sugar

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i can only do that weird frog swim i forget what its called so no im shit at it

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? ye

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? if im able to distract myself?? it also depends on the severity of what im waiting on i guess

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? probs a band i guess i dont rly think abt that kinda stuff sry

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? when i was four i won a coloring contest at the ice cream store

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nope im poor 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? both are good!

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i can knit but i cant crochet

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fckn bathroom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? not rly unless its a partnership longlasting romance stresses me out especially with financial responsibility etc

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? -20 years

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? my high school boyfriend hahaaa h,,,,

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? im an adult sry

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1!

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? nope! lmao i love her tho

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? red but i also like many others??? idk

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? ummm not rly?? im not close enough to anyone to miss them and those i am close to im able to hang with

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? god uhhh if you havent done it already and want to, @dreambot @nebula-simms @ellowynsims and @pixelbloom