#cool stoner dude

[please-dial-nine]

day 19 - Scavenger

Years after his ill-fated Halloween attraction burned to the ground, Phone Dude is unable to leave well enough alone and goes poking around in places he shouldn’t…

[halo-eater]

sincerely and genuinely you guys are just Saying Stuff 😭😭

[themagicfolf]

Jesus would totally be a stoner I can see him smoking a joint and being like, "Dude. The church needs to be better to others, sharing is caring man. Love not hate" Puffs joint

[enn0s]

Hello, D. Racc here once again

Your taste is immaculate. Love finding other fellow BABYs. It’s funny because as I got more into B.A.P I absolutely fell in love with Daehyun maaan…dem lips a chef can kiss them and I found a love for Youngjae when listening to more of his solo stuff. Like his song feat with Zelo called Stay with Me, that right there is one of my favorite songs. They’re all so super talented and have all their own unique charm.

YJ and Dae’s voice…Jesus how doesn’t that make you swoon.

Woowowow those songs are my favs too. Along with XIÈ XIÈ, WǓ GUO DEN HEN HOA XIÈ XIÈ~. He performed all three of those songs. I was so hype especially when xiè xiè came on. He did an encore and performed the song again and I accidentally started singing before his set started because it was edited to fit the performance. I still cringe because it was so silent and I KNOW HE HEARD ME.!!!! I SAW HIM SLIGHTLY CHUCKLE BEFORE I TURNED AWAY FROM EMBARRASSMENT…I’m sorry that concert really made me realize wow…I do partake in celebrity culture lol.

But how are you this week? And what are your top songs off their First Sensibility album?

- D. 🦝

aye whats up! good to see u friend, im do alright~ definitely cant complain just been busy with life the universe and everything lol. been drawing more in my free time instead of doom scrolling and its been so nice, im really proud of myself even if it is mostly just hades fanart 💀 hope you're hangin in there too!

1004, save me, bang x2 and body and soul are some of my main faves, dae goes crazy on the vocals in body n soul and i do love a slow sexy rnb vibe 🤧

lmao dont worry about comin in too early on the encore it happens all the time with stage mixes! everybodys just there to vibe together. ive been to a few Epik High concerts and the dj dude will literally start a song just to stop it and laugh at us when we keep singing lol. i hope ur able to go to more concerts in the future it sounds like u had a blast!

[landofgay]

sometimes you can make your own dreams come true

[thatstonedwriter]

TFW you can't kill the spider in ur shower without having an ethical dilemma first

[moonshynecybin]

if you have the time or inclination, can i ask what the deal with motogp/those boys is about? i don’t mean that in a mean way btw, im just curious and i love drama

i will try to be brief (1/4358)

SO! valentino rossi (born 16 February 1979, aquarius. italian.) is one of the most iconic people in motorsport, CERTAINLY in motogp. he's a 9 time world champion, your favorite driver's favorite driver, and is generally credited with revolutionizing the popularity of the sport by: a. being insanely good at motorcycle racing, and b. in general having a lot of fun about it. lethally charming and charismatic. all time active listening face. just a fun and funny dude that everyone pretty much likes and MANY younger riders idolize. VERY good at handling the media and his legions of cult-like fans. sometimes treated more like a god than a person. i was in the store yesterday and saw one of his themed monster energy drinks despite him retiring two years ago. his fun retirement activity is racing BMWs and running his own motogp team/training facility/cult for young italian racers. (this is where cele and bezz and basically every italian rider not named enea bastianini come from!)

so in 2011ish valentino had won 9 titles, and he decided to leave his current manufacturer and move to italian manufacturer ducati where he generally had a stone-cold terrible time. EXTENDED flop era for a couple years. any time ive watched content that covers this period everyone is so sad. so sad. anyways he GOES BACK to his old manufacturer in 2013 and is much more competitive. kind of just happy to be winning sometimes and be on the podium. 2013 is also where marc comes in. what could go wrong.

marc marquez! (born 17 february 1993, almost exactly 14 years after vale which i'm sure means nothing. also an aquarius. spanish.) childhood sports idols include: dani pedrosa, VALENTINO ROSSI.

marc carved his way up through the feeder championships until casey stoner unexpectedly retired at the end of the 2012 season leaving a seat empty on a VERY good bike for his rookie season. rocked up and was immediately VERY good at winning and very good at being a crazyinsane person on track that made people mad at him lol. hilarious habit of pissing people off via on-track crimes that i really enjoy. motogp riders are already crazy (they do death sport) but marc is famous for taking risks no one else will. basically if he's not winning, he's crashed out or he's maybe crashed YOU out. he wins the championship as a rookie (insane) and the next year's championship as well. heir apparent to the throne. sweet and goofy but is now known as one of the more reserved riders with the press. probably because of all this drama tbh. undisputed GOAT of acting like a slut on camera

throughout 2013-2014, marc and valentino had a good relationship! marc very clearly idolizes him and is like. bowled over completely with delight every time valentino looks his way. vale likes him! theyre buds! truly an endless well of pictures of vale explaining something with his hands and marc babygirling at him. highly recommend checking out @pgaslys every rosquez podium tag for contextual brain damage. insane times.

(IT SHOULD BE NOTED: before the 2015 season marc visits valentino at his practice track in italy, where they compete to break the track record and almost kill each other bc they are so pathologically competitive. APPARENTLY, marc showed up with some official mechanics and valentino was a little pissed off because it was supposed to be a like. fun thing. and to marc winning is the most fun! if you dont come to win why come at all! anyways marc breaks the track record and credits that to cooling their relationship a bit. good post about it here.) here they are that day:

so what could go wrong, right? WELL. valentino has a chance to win his tenth title in 2015. marc is on a flop bike and crashed a bunch so he's not in the championship conversation but vale is leading the standings from the jump, with his main opponent being jorge lorenzo. i think he really wanted that tenth, and dedicated himself to the season in a way he hadnt really ever before (he was a very effortless competitor when he was young. gym-adverse. king).

marc and him start to get into some scraps along the way, notably in argentina (where they made contact and marc crashed out), assen (where they made contact AGAIN and vale won the race), and phillip island (marc won. GREAT race available here for free). phillip island sees vale finishing P4 and jorge lorenzo finishing ahead of him in P3, reducing his championship lead by quite a bit. no real indication of any tension during these races, and they are asked about it!

this is where valentino's delulu era begins! basically, ahead of the next race (🔥🔥SEPANG 2015🔥🔥) in the pre-race press conference, he goes after marc, saying he was deliberately sabotaging valentino in phillip island because marc wanted jorge to win. in valentino's mind. marc wants jorge to win because a. they are both spanish (??) and b. it would mean marc has to win less titles to equal valentino's total. record scratch. freeze frame.

everyone (including marc!) thinks valentino is joking at first bc that is bananascrazyinsane. he was not joking. (it should be noted valentino STILL thinks this lol.) anyways marc is completely blindsided. he thought they were good! yeah they've been chippy on track but that's racing!! truly like. 22 years old and your friend (AND CHILDHOOD IDOL.) is calling you a snake in front of your face with NO prior warning to the entire motogp establishment writ large including your coworkers and REPORTERS. valentino wont even look at him the entire time. the press conference is available here on vimeo. excruciating gifsets of marc's very stiff bewildered PR smile found here.

anyways so. the race. marc is uh. pissed off. he's stuck to valentino like GLUE the entire time and they trade places a bunch of times. now marc is kind of famous for being a little asshole on track anyways, but its not like he's gonna get out of valentino's way and just let him pass after what he said in that press conference so. hand in unlovable hand <3. truly very fun to watch imo even with the sword of damocles hanging over them. marc is fucking on one the entire race and basically refuses to give valentino an inch until vale gets so fed up with his antics that um. well. it certainly looks like he kicked him. vale says he didnt, and that his leg accidently made contact with marc's bike. marcs says. he fucking kicked me. judge for yourself here!

so valentino gets hauled in front of race direction and penalized for the next race (the deciding race for the championship). he has to start from the back of the grid and it kills his chance at a tenth title stone dead. vale places the blame squarely on marc's shoulders and his legions of fans decide marc is public enemy number 1. him and jorge have to get security at the next race because of death threats, someone tries to break into marc's childhood home back in spain, marc's mom throws away all of marc's valentino merchandise from when he was a kid. vale says nothing.

but the thing about marc. is that he loves very hard and chooses his people pretty carefully. didnt really move out of his tiny hometown until he turned 30 and also made his baby brother move in with him kind of guy. so all this is not really enough for him to let go of vale entirely! 2016 is where the pain lives! bc marc is still reaching out and vale himself stays pretty cold for a couple years. they seem to faintly reconcile for a bit but its not anywhere like it was before sepang.

the real nail in the coffin is argentina 2018. another insane race where marc has to start from the back and goes on a rampage through the field and crashes out like three people. i cant remember. this race is also available on youtube for free its very entertaining. every five minutes marc does something insane. vale is one of the people marc crashes out and afterwardshe goes on a big rant about how marc is destroying the sport and is actively dangerous. marc goes to valentino's garage immediately after the race to apologize and vale doesnt even look at him. he gets turned away at the door after vale's best friend/assistant/henchman yells in his face1!!! and thats kind off all she wrote in terms of reconciliation

anyways that's where we are! they are both very much not over it. vale goes on podcasts and is like. in 30 years i will still be mad, im literally never going to get over it it was such a big and unfair thing and i think about it all the time like it was yesterday. and marc (lying) says as time goes by i dont even think about it :) and i care about valentino less and less :))) but yes he hurt me deeply lol. CANNOT stress enough how much this entire thing is now inextricably liked to both of their legacies. the two arguable GOATs of a sport had an epic fleetwood mac-style beatles breakup divorce and everyone wants to talk about it allllll day long including me :)

additional context! really recommend checking out marc's little docuseries he put out this year about his recent struggles with injury. he is so not right in the head and it goes over the valentino drama in ep3. theres also hitting the apex (2015) which goes over the 2013 season (marc's rookie season) and is a really good introduction to all the major players at the time. its like less than 2 hrs long so its not too much of a commitment

also recommend following scholars @babynflames, @its-always-silly-season, @baking-soda, and @f1vegas as well as many others im forgetting rn bc its 2am!

[raviosrupees]

My parent rates LU Link's based on first impressions

[warning foul language, mention of alcohol, and my parents very negative impression of Wars !!! note this is my parents impression based off of the LU concept sketches + descriptions. a lot of em aren't accurate]

TIME

Very God of War, Kratos. PTSD Link.

when all the others are hanging out he's in the cups. He fought the moon? Sounds about right. Everyone else is talking and goofing off and he's got the thousand yard stare.

No one talks about how he cant get a full nights sleep. Please let him nap. Maybe let the owl take a nap too.

*stares at him for a very long time, before taking a sip of mimosa*

TWILIGHT

blond hiccup [httyd] very viking. Humble? Hiccup. Animal whisperer? Does he have a dragon? he turns in to a wolf? good for hiccup. getting over a complicated relationship? ...... h-

OH HE HAS GOATS? I love goats! Love this guy.

WARRIORS

Ah, douchy paladin! Yeah he's got the hip flex, he knows he's the shit. Very prideful? Of course you are. Leader type? Women problems? Not surprised. [said they most wanted to punch this one]

"This one writes himself. On Reddit forums"

FOUR [their 3rd fav]

"eeny meeny hippy genie" They've got the weird flowy scarf hat, they're super tiny! Dwarf.. chaos gremlin-- No that's a changeling! I don't think that's actually a Link, I think they faked their way in. Not that I blame them, its a pretty cool crew to be a part of. Spy for the fae realm.

WILD

5th grade school photo link. He's really excited for his first day of school and has a planner for all of his classes.

Good at navigation? Kudos for being a good boy scout.

Her 2nd favorite.

WILD

"Legolas Link" he likes to run on snow, flip his hair back + forth and shit talk dwarves [changeling doesn't like that]

"takes any questioning of his princess too personally? Why are they questioning his princess in the first place? *squints* Why is he so upset? Feel like maybe we need some codependency therapy-

IDENTITY CRISIS DUE TO MEMORY LOSS???? oh no, there we go, the therapy- INSECURE? THE ONLY ONE THAT FAILED? Dude, I think douchy paladin needs to take him to therapy-, maybe it'll convince him to get some too.

Proceeds to go into a rant about his sheikah tech being called weird magic: "Why are they calling his magic weird? That's rude ! They need to have more open minds, no wonder he's insecure! He just needs to feel confident and supported in his new environment and they're not being very supportive right now!"

*orders another mimosa*

LEGEND [their favorite]

"We've got stoner wizard link..." "Which one?" "He's wearing red, and like a fancy staff with a ball at the end for walloping on people who say he's not a real wizard" He just smacks em and says duh yes I am, but usually he doesn't bother with it bc he's too chill.

He's the Millenial of the linked universe. "Chooses not to be a leader type? 'Nope, Im good, just here for a paycheck not a promotion. Some PTO would be nice. Another adventure? He'd rather start a commune"

"Seems unaffected by his adventures?" Uhh he is though. He's just delusional about it now.

HYRULE

Classic link [true] silent generation, nobody acknowledges him. "just happy to be included," mistaken as a hobbit.

"He's actually a traveler, never stays in one place" "Ah so post adventure Bilbo baggins, who wants to see mountains again."

*starts singing "the road goes ever on and on"*

SKY

Foppy link. Fabulous haircut, cape swooped over one shoulder with the gorgeous coloring, contrasting belt-- he knows color schemes way too well, he could be in project runway.

"Not the leader type? Sure he's too busy worrying about fabric swatches. Views the master sword as a blessing? Yeah, I bet he does."

Very confidently decided his Zelda is a beard.

[tryingtofindava]

𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬*ೃ༄

: ̗̀➛Back to source

a/n: soz it takes awhile to get to the point mb.

It started off with you chatting with Clever Bot, innocent enough. You’d ask it random questions, it would ask you random questions. That went on for a few weeks.

Until the questions started getting more personal.

Asking you how your friends party was, or if you were okay after nicking your finger with the knife while chopping strawberries.

The bot even started calling you by your name, which you definitely hadn’t told it...

But in return it told you it’s name!!

He was called BEN.

That’s when you stopped using the site all together, not wanting to put up with the total bullshit this bot was putting you through.

Until the site started randomly popping up while you were using your devices, his messages it was sending you getting more condescending.

That’s the night he finally showed his face to you.

You were sitting on your apartments couch, watching some shit horror movie. When the screen started to get all glitchy.

That’s when the hand popped out.

ANYWAYS!!

Now you have this random dude in your apartment, and he’s messing around with everything he can get his hands on.

Saying shit like-

“It’s cool being in your room and not just seeing it through your laptop.”

Creepy… he’s very creepy.

Even though he doesn’t mean to be (most of the time…)

Oh well.

He lives with you now.

Well, he likes to think he does, it’s not exactly official.

He just eats your food, sleeps on your couch, plays your video games.

And you being… oddly chill about the whole thing? Icing on the cake.

About 2 months with him crashing at your place, he starts to open up a bit more.

And trust me, he’s an open book.

But the whole drowning thing?

That’s a touchy topic. But he (eventually) opened up about the whole thing.

NOW FINALLY TO THE DATING HEADCANONS.

He’s very flirty.

But his way of flirting is literally so cheesy.

“Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?”

“Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?” (He does that anyways)

“Feel my shirt. Know what it’s made of? Boyfriend material.”

Reallllll smooth, dude…

He flirts with you so much, that when he was genuinely taking interest and hinting at him liking you as more than friends?

that was difficult.

He dug himself his own grave. (again.)

It all clicked for you one day when you (finally) started noticing the signs that, hey… he didn’t mean that as a joke.

Now it was either you, or the beachy haired goblin that had to make the first REAL MOVE.

So, you finally grew a pair of balls and asked him out.

(He said yeah obviously.)

THE FIRST DATE WAS LITERALLY SO CUTE I’M FROTHING AT THE MOUTH.

like, I want to have a fucking Stardew Valley date. (srsly someone take me on a stardew valley date.)

Matching spider-man and hello kitty pyjama bottoms🔛🔝

Without a doubt he’s a stoner, so you guys get high and talk about the Five Nights at Freddy’s timeline & lore.

He’s obsessed w you.

You two making like rlly bad jokes and full on laughing, no not even laughing, snorting AND cackling w/ each other. (he laughs like Arthur from Arthur’s Christmas😭)

I am 100% convinced he’s named a wolf on Minecraft after you.

Speaking of Minecraft…

He’s a slut for putting your Minecraft beds together. He fr acts like you two don’t share a bed already.

You have to deadass bully him to take a shower. (bcs his just putting on the strongest men’s deodorant doesn’t work)

THIS IS SO RANDOM BUT HE’S LITERALLY OBSESSED W THE HUNGER GAMES.

Like, you two be binge watching that every 2 months.

He teases the shit outta you btw.

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GET CLINGY.

“God, you remind me of Moon Children.” Then he casually leaves the room, leaving you to wonder what tf Moon Children are.

His sleeping schedule is so fucked, that he goes to sleep at like 5AM and wakes up at 3PM. And he gets up from bed a lot during the night to randomly do something.

When he’s sick his voice is glitchy. (AND SOUNDS LIKE BABY JUSTIN BIEBER) What a combo.

He’s one touchy mf.

His hands ALWAYS have to be on you, around your shoulder, on your thigh, anywhere you’re comfortable with. (but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t push his limits.)

He spams you all day long, sending you out dated memes, or just sending videos of cats.

Since I’m running out of ideas I’d say the relationship is a solid 8/10. (abducting two points bcs he pulls the stupidest ‘pranks’)

✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•✯.★*°•.°✯•.★*°°·.•°★•

[octuscle]

Life is too stressful, I wish I was a dumb horny stoner.

Dude, why is mankind so ungrateful! You look great, have a super well-paid job, but are you satisfied? No, you'd rather be a stoner. Is that why you hang out at the skate park so much? The kids are already making fun of you!

But that's okay, I'm just a service provider. So you want to be a pothead who makes his money as a small-time dealer and sometimes works as a graffiti artist. You're not bad with the spray cans. But you'll never be a great artist…

You're just about to return to the office from your lunch break when you notice the small plastic bag of “spices” in your jacket pocket. You ask the guy sitting in the next bench if he has any tobacco and rolling paper. He looks at you questioningly, skeptically, probably thinking you're a cop. You discreetly show him the bag, and he opens his backpack and takes out tobacco and rolling paper.

You are over an hour late when you arrive at the office. And still high. But hey, it makes you more creative. Your boss asks you if you would like to come to the office showered again from time to time. You run your fingers through your long greasy hair. And ask if you could appease him with a blowjob or a bit of weed. After a few minutes, security is escorting you out. Damn, an office job isn't for you anyway!

First of all, you have to get out of this damn suit. It's like a straitjacket. You can get like $200 for a single piece of fabric at a thrift store! With that, you can get a cool complete outfit, a skateboard and you can buy fresh weed. Dude, who buys such expensive clothes?

That's better! Much better. Now for a skate. And sometimes, towards evening, one of those armchair farts will come by. To buy weed. Or to suck your pasty dick. Because in either case they feel a bit like a rebel. You don't care. Both bring in money. And cumming in an office drone's throat is actually fun!

[nicnavarrocage]

YA GOTS TO ROMANCE THEM HOES LIKE A

[wheels-of-despair]

A Hot, Cheesy Pizza Guy Pairing: Argyle x You Event: A Very @corroded-hellfire Valentine's Day Summary: You're home alone, wallowing in a pit of unspecified grief… when your favorite pizza guy comes a-knockin'. Song: I Want You to Want Me by Cheap Trick Words: 1k

Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I See you cryin' (cryin, cryin') Feelin' all alone without a friend

"Helloooo?"

A knock on your door brings you out of your haze.

"Go away," you whisper, knowing they can't hear you. Your back rests against a kitchen cabinet, your legs splayed out in front of you on the cool tile you'd slumped to when the grief became too much to bear.

"Helloooo? Pineapple Girl? It's meeee. Argyle. Your favorite pizza guuuuy."

Your bleary eyes look toward the door, where the knocking continues. You hadn't called and ordered a pizza. You hadn't called anyone. You're pretty sure that "go away" was the first thing you'd said out loud in days.

"I know you didn't call."

Can he read your mind? If so… sorry, Argyle the Pizza Guy.

"But you're the only person who always takes my bodacious recommendations, and you haven't called for two weeks, and I wondered if you were okay."

A fresh wave of tears appears and begins pouring down your face. The only person who cares about you is the pizza guy.

"Like… I'll leave it out here and go if you want. No charge. But it'd be real cool if you could prove that you're alive? Are you sick? Was the last pizza not good? I knew it was too early to introduce anchovies to our relationship. My bad. Oh, man." He heaves a sigh that you can hear through the door, and you wonder if he's given up on you. "Oh, man. You're not cheating on me with the Pizza Hut guy, are you?"

You laugh.

Heart broken, tears streaming down your face, and you just laughed at the pizza guy.

"Was that a laugh? Did you just laugh? You're totally busted now, you gotta open the door."

You hesitate.

"C'mon, there's nothing a hot, cheesy pizza can't fix. Wait'll you see what I came up with this time. It's a good one."

Your stomach growls, siding with Argyle.

You take a deep breath, wipe your eyes on your shirt, and stand. You hastily straighten your clothes and try to fix your hair. You're glad there's no mirror in here; you're sure you look like hell. Hopefully it's not bad enough to scare him off.

You creep to the door, unlock it, and crack it open.

"Pineapple Girl! Hey! Oh dude, are you okay?"

"Rough week," you croak, attempting a smile. His eyes fill with pity. You must look as bad as you feel.

"You know," he says, his dark eyes sparkling and his mouth twisting into a mischievous smile. "I've got something that'll make all your troubles just floooat away." He holds up his free hand and rolls it in a way that reminds you of ocean waves.

"How much?" you ask the stoner with the excellent salesmanship.

"Uh, hang on…" Argyle squints and uses his finger to perform some quick calculations in the air. "Zero dollars."

You chuckle.

"Would you like to come in?" you ask, much to your own surprise. Argyle nods, and you open the door all the way and stand aside. "Uh, sorry about the mess."

"Chica, you should see my place."

Argyle walks inside, pizza box in hand, and heads for the couch. You close the door and follow, wishing everything were cleaner. But he doesn't seem to mind.

"You want something to drink?" You're on hostess auto-pilot, and you're grateful to the manners that had been instilled in your sub-conscious.

"Right on!"

You dig in the fridge, find two cans of soda, and bring them to the living room. Argyle is carefully packing a bowl on your coffee table. You sit on the arm of the sofa, as far away from him as you can get. When's the last time you showered?

"Sit down, Pineapple Girl, this stuff's gonna knock you on your ass."

You chuckle and move your ass from the armrest to the cushion, and he hands you the bowl. The sweet smell of the weed that soon fills the room makes you forget all about your showering concerns... and the rest of your woes, too.

He was right. This shit knocked you on your ass. You and Argyle the Pizza Guy lay back against your couch, feet on the coffee table and eyes to the ceiling.

"Why'd you really come here?" you mumble.

"You're the only person who likes my creative combos," he says.

You start giggling.

"What?"

You giggle harder.

"Whaaaaat?" he moans.

Your body is shaking uncontrollably now.

"Tell meeeeee," he whines.

"You know I pick half that stuff off when you leave?" you wheeze.

"What? Nooooo," he mourns. "Why?"

"I didn't want to hurt your feelings." Your giggling has turned to a light chuckle now.

"You're worried about my feelings?"

"Yeah," you admit to the crack in the ceiling.

"How come?"

"'Cause you're a really cool guy."

You smile sleepily, completely content to just sit here quietly with the pizza guy you see once a week for about sixty seconds.

"That's… not the only reason I came here," he says quietly.

"Hm?" you hum, struggling to keep your eyes open.

"You're kinda the highlight of my week."

You turn your head to look at him. He turns his to look at you.

"I have the hugest frickin' crush on you," he confesses.

Your jaw drops.

"Oh shit, I made it weird. Did I make it weird? I made it weird. Why do I always make it weird?!" He leans forward and puts his head in his hands. You reach out to touch his arm, thankful you can reach him without getting up. You couldn't have chased after him if you wanted to, thanks to that killer weed. His eyes land on your hand, then travel up your arm, and finally to your hopefully-not-still-tear-streaked face.

"What if I have a huge frickin' crush on you too?" you ask softly.

"Me?" he asks, his dark eyes sparkling.

"You think I'd let just any pizza guy pick my toppings for me?"

Argyle lets out the goofiest laugh you've ever heard, and you collapse into a fit of giggles again. He leans back on the couch, and you just watch each other and laugh for a bit. Soon, you start to wonder if you've accidentally started a staring contest.

"Thank you for showing up today. I really needed this."

Argyle smiles, and then his face falls.

"Oh, shit!"

"What?" you ask, sharing his panic but not knowing why.

"We totally forgot about the pizza!"

You laugh again, and he leans forward and lifts the lid to check on the cold pizza you've both forgotten about.

"Alright, you stay here, I'm gonna heat this up, and when I get back with a hot, gooey, delicious pizza… you're gonna tell me which toppings you actually like."

"Alright," you laugh. He smiles and picks up the pizza box, heading to the kitchen you'd been crying your eyes out in just a little while ago.

Argyle was right… mostly.

There's nothing a hot, cheesy pizza guy can't fix.

[junkissed]

stoner!svt

their favorite forms of weed + random stoner thoughts

member — svt ot13 x reader genre — headcanons, humor word count — 1.0k warnings — descriptions of marijuana and smoking. there isn't anything explicit or suggestive in this, but my blog is 18+ so minors dni. but whether you're a minor or not, please do not take advice about drugs from strangers on the internet,, i am so unqualified and this is just a reflection of my own experiences so don't take anything here as fact. always use responsibly! notes — huge thanks to @wooahaeproductions @highvern and @gyuwoncheol for brainstorming this with me !! as tumblr's resident stoner huihui i have many more thots about stoner!svt so feel free to stop by my inbox with your ideas to chat 👀

one reblog = one joint hand rolled for you by minghao himself

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seungcheol: dab pen

big bulky man requires a big bulky pen. it hits harder and feels way more intense so he doesn’t care that it’s harder to clean. he also has a dab rig and he thinks it makes him cool and different because he and vernon are the only ones who actually know how to use it

jeonghan: weird shaped bong

he has to be Extra at all times so he has a surprising variety of odd shapes. the tentacle one on his dresser is his most interesting one for sure, but the one shaped like an arcade game machine with actual flashing lights is his favorite. he’s the king of princess treatment so he definitely makes everyone else light his bongs for him; why would he do it himself when there’s a perfectly good coups sitting right there?

joshua: fruity disposable thc pens

he’s made it his life mission to try every flavor once. los angeles is like the vape capital of the world so there is definitely no shortage of flavors for him to try. someone please pack him a normal regular unflavored bowl before all his clothes permanently smell like strawberry ice. he thinks he’s subtle but you can literally smell him a mile away, his scent enters the room before he does

junhui: literally anything

willing to take whatever you’re willing to give: you put any kind of weed in front of him and he’s gonna try it. he really doesn’t have a preference for what form it’s in, as long as he gets to do it with you <3 i can also see him trying edibles in different forms than the usual kinds, like the ones that come in a can like soda or a bag of chips. it’s hard to tell when he’s high because he’s the same amount of giggly as he always is, it’s like a 50/50 chance of whether he’s stoned or just silly

soonyoung: preroll joints

he tries so hard it’s kind of sad but also so funny. he takes one hit and coughs like he's been chainsmoking cigarettes for the last 40 years, then gets tired after 10 minutes and lays facedown on the floor until he falls asleep. he’s not invited to smoke with you anymore because he spills the bong water every single time without fail. he becomes the most giggly and cuddly person you’ve ever seen in your life; imagine drunk hosh, times ten. he sets up his tiger plushies in a circle and passes the joint around like he’s a 4 year old girl having a tea party. he starts crying if one of them feels left out so he has to count and make sure they all get an equal number of hits

jihoon: normal shaped bong

locks himself in and hotboxes the studio. he mostly does it to get out of his own head and chill alone for a while, so don’t even think about interrupting him. he’ll emerge from a cloud of smoke a couple of hours later with 2 new albums, god of light music: the sequel, and a solo for hoshi. he doesn’t let the other members touch his stuff or even know where he hides it

wonwoo: normal shaped bong (dirty)

i hate to play into the dirty gamer boy stereotype that he’s always written as… but he 100% never cleans it. it’s always byob (bring your own bong) when he invites you over because he may be with fine smoking a crusty bowl, but not everyone feels that way sorry dude

minghao: hand-rolled joints

he doesn’t trust anyone to roll but himself. he has fancy expensive organic papers that he got from an exclusive farmer's market and he treats it like an art form but honestly it hits way better when he does it so you don’t question his technique. a hand rolled joint from minghao is like a gift from god

mingyu: homemade edibles

vernon gave him a homemade rice krispie once and he swore it wasn’t hitting so he ate another one... and then passed out on the couch. after vernon gave him the recipe, mr. professional chef here decided he likes to bake them himself but somehow always ends up measuring it wrong and makes them way too strong. on accident or on purpose? we may never know. most likely both. he gets so high he can’t even stand up straight, most giggly and cuddly person you’ve ever seen #2

seokmin: cbd gummies

he takes them to relax or to help him fall asleep rather than to get super high. but he still wanted to feel included with the members who smoke so he tried to buy a cart one time but he bought a melatonin pen on accident instead and they never let him live that down

seungkwan: normal shaped bong (clean)

he takes good care of his stuff and he’s serious about it! he had a bad experience with mold once and now he’s paranoid about remembering to change the bong water. he cleans it daily and keeps everything nice and organized, and he has a bedazzled grinder because if he’s gonna smoke then he’s gonna do it in style obviously

vernon: also literally anything

he’s honestly down for whatever. he prefers smoking over edibles but he doesn’t care if it’s a joint, a pen, a bong. also depends on his mood but the majority of the time it’s whatever is the closest within reach and requires the least amount of effort

chan: 4ft tall bong

how? why does he have that? where did he get it? huh? those are all questions he doesn’t have the answers to either. it’s more of a mascot than anything; it sits in the corner of his living room like a lamp and he doesn’t even use it. he uses a regular bong the majority of the time but only because he’s afraid of breaking the sacred Tall Bong. it’s a big hit at parties

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[fruitsoxs]

Having Vash and Wolfwood as roommates would include;;

warnings;; i don't define a relationship, but it kinda hints at all three of you being together, lots of fluff, nothing nsfw (but I'm thinking about doing some nsfw headcanons for this in the future if anyone is interested)

How it happens/Meeting Vash

You’re basically desperate when your plans for moving in with your ex best friend fall through, leaving you basically homeless right before the semester is about to start

Looking online, in the newspaper even, you’re searching for any place that doesn’t look scummy, creepy, or charges you up the ass

Knowing full well that living without roommates in this economy is impossible, you’re hoping to find some nice people-

And boy do you luck out

Posted on some stupid roommate finder website is an add for a three bedroom apartment that’s in a sort of sketchy part of town, but offers protection for anyone willing to brave it. The guy that posted it seems nice, the ad is kinda funny, and the rent is cheap

You decide to try it out

When you first meet Vash, it’s in a little coffee shop near the uni you’re attending. It’s a safe spot to meet with a stranger, and he was cool with whatever you suggested. Green flag.

He’s pretty nice, funny, and insanely cute. He tells you that the other roommate, a man he calls “Nicholas” is at work, but from the way Vash talks about him you assume he’s a chill dude too

You can’t help but feel a bit intimidated by how attractive Vash is. He’s blonde, with a cute little mole, and his eyes are like…woah

Plus he’s got a cute little piercing !!!

No guy this good looking should be this nice

You decide pretty quickly this feels like a good match, and bam the deed is done

You move in next week, get your stuff situated and suddenly you have two new roommates

Meeting Wolfwood

It’s almost disappointing how little you see of the other roommate in the first week. Vash explains that he’s been taking on extra shifts at work but you still kinda feel like maybe the man is avoiding you?

All you know of the man is that he smokes, drinks a little, and has weird taste in movies

You see random objects strewn across the house that belong to him and you start trying to figure out his personality in your head

You decide that he’s probably some skinny stoner, and you’re pretty confident in that hypothesis until you actually see him

You bump into him in the morning right before you head off to start your first day of class

You literally bump into him-

As he’s leaving the bathroom, you’re in the hallways and a collision occurs. To make matters worse he’s shirtless

And he’s hot

He’s wearing sweatpants, his toned torso out in the open, and his hair is a bit of a mess. You can tell it’s sort of a short wolf-cut though- and it’s definitely working on him 

He kinda smirks down at you and says it’s nice to finally “run” into you

And fuck- how are you supposed to survive having TWO hot roomates

General Chaos

You find out pretty quickly that these two are not the most normal people

And you freaking love it

Once Wolfwood’s insane work schedule chills out, you finally get chance to see the duo in action

They kind act like an old married couple. It’s a bit scary at first, and you fear you might be third wheeling but you soon mix into their dynamic quite nicely

Once wolfwood starts calling you some funky nickname you know you’ve wormed your way into their hearts

Your schedules all clash a  bit, but you all find time to see each other throughout the day. Wolfwood has a morning class like you, and so you end up eating breakfast together most days. You start taking turns making food for each other

No matter what you both at least drink an entire pot of coffee together, and complain about life

Vash and you meet up in the afternoon, since your afternoon classes are close to each other. He’s the one who texts you the first time to ask if you want to meet up- and your heart does a little flip

It has become a habit. Whenever you two aren’t busy with other things, you’ll sit outside on a grassy area and talk for a second

All three of you hang out at night when Wolfwood isn’t working insane night shifts

Saturdays are movie nights. You HAVE to attend movie nights

It gets crazy. Especially when Wolfwood graciously shares his stuff.

The first time they see you cry- you’re pretty sure they might explode

You’re stressed from school, whatever job you might have, and probably a few family problems too. Vash walks in to your room to ask you what you want for dinner, sees the tears and whips out his phone to tell Wolfwood

He then immediately rolls you up in a blanket and makes you cuddle him on the couch to destress.

He’s insanely patient with you, rubbing your back and letting you vent

Wolfwood kicks open the door with your favorite comfort food moments later, and the three of you sit and watch a stupid movie

Wolfwood keeps his arm around you, and lets you rest your head on his chest

Vash’s hand is in yours

They’re pretty respectful of your privacy at first- but they’re both like the clingiest friends ever

Vash doesn’t mean to- and will apologize if he oversteps boundaries 

Wolfwood on the other hand just doesn’t care. He’ll waltz into your room and go “Hey- stop screaming- I need you to make sure I got this math correct.”

Crazy competitive game nights, that sometimes end in you pulling Wolfwood off of Vash as Vash screams for his life to be spared (he like staking stars from Wolfwood in mario party) (It ends in bloodshed every time) (He should really stop)

Grocery shopping is just Wolfwood acting like a dad while you and Vash are off shoveling sweets into the cart (He secretly puts his favorite treats in the cart too though)

You and Vash stage an intervention for Wolfwood when he gets a little bit too into buying random jewelry covered in crosses (“we know you have religious trauma- and yes you look good in them- but come on-”). He walks into the apartment, sees the sign, and then walks out

Vash invites his brother over once and you’re pretty sure you’re about to be cut. (“No Vash- Knives is nice…he’s just scary.” “He just has a resting “I want to murder” you face!”)

Feelings bloom?

They really warm up to you. One day it becomes clear that you’re just…part of them now. Like they can’t imagine you ever leaving their side

It’s the same for you. You walk out one day, and grab your mug of coffee from Wolfwood and…you just kinda spot and think that you really like these guys. Things feel right

I think overtime things just slowly get intimate- 

like you start holding Vash’s hand just casually throughout the day

And sometimes Wolfwood will come rest his head on your shoulder from behind, and you’ll reach up and run your hand through his hair

Casual soft touches just become a thing you know?

Vash lets his hand rise under your shirt a bit when you’re sitting with him on the couch

And eventually…maybe they become less casual?

Wolfwood puts his hand on your waist as he passes by behind you

The sexual tension is like palpable 

I don’t really know who finally kisses who- or how things go from wholesome to spicy- but it gets there eventually

And soon you three are more than just roommates, more than friends, and even if you don’t know what it is- it’s kinda perfect

You renew the lease for the next year, and you’re pretty damn happy you were homeless for that little bit now

[fredwkong]

Hey dude. I’m just looking for a vacation where I can get a little green, if you know what I’m saying. You got anything like that?

Thanks for your booking with FWK Vacations. Enjoy your “green” vacation.

You wake up slowly, with a feeling like you’re floating. Your eyelids feel incredibly heavy, and as they open one at a time, the sensation makes you chuckle dumbly.

You’re lying on cum- and sweat-stained white sheets in a messy studio apartment. The air is thick with the combined stench of BO and weed. Lifting up one lazy arm, you stick your nose in your bushy pit and take a good whiff, right from the source. Your overactive stoner cock stirs at the musky scent, and you give it a few pumps as you keep sniffing yourself.

There’s a chime from your computer, and you grin, seeing a tip come in. Yeah, your family doesn’t like that you spent your trust fund on becoming an adult streamer, but you just love the attention that being a hot, stoned dude gets you. This way, you barely have to bathe, you can get as high as you want, and you get to hang out with cool dudes who love your sweaty, hairy body and watching you shoot all over yourself.

Slowly, barely able to think through your high and the feeling of rubbing out another musky load, you imagine how your day’s gonna go. You’ll probably pop a couple of edibles and then fuck around and stream some video games in the nude until you get too stoned and horny to do anything but goon and lick your sweaty, musky body for the rest of the day.

Enjoy your vacation!

Want to go on vacation? Book via my ask box!

[skyblueartt]

Yapping again, are we?

I have so many ideas for a fun little “nobody dies” fnaf AU because I am in love with these characters ughhhghhghhhh. I love tragedy and drama and dysfunction, but also…let’s give the gang a bit of a break from that. Imagine!!!!

Charlie and Elizabeth as teenagers and BESTIES. I have SOOOO many thoughts, I treat these girlies like they’re my damn OCs at this point :’))) I made a whole ass headcanons post and everything ahhaha, they’re everything to me byeee

Also also ALSO Mike, in his 20s, totally lives with his “roommate” (take that in any way you want) Jeremy !!! Michael discovering his passion for art and selling some drawings/paintings on the side. Maybe he went/is going to school for art? Hmmm. I just really love Michael’s hobby being art (self projection). Jeremy being his fun, chill, supportive, stoner roommate and friend/boyfriend/whatever you want

Also just CC/Evan not dying as a little kid is just. Just so nice, dude. That kid deserves a good life ughghhhg. Maybe as he gets a bit older he’s faced his fears about those animatronics :) I’m imagining he’s like, a pre-teen or young teenager here. “Haha, dad, do you remember how these things used to give me NIGHTMARES? Crazy”

Maybe if William isn’t insane (well— not in the “I’ve taken the lives of several children and lost myself completely” insane, but he’s ABSOLUTELY still eccentric and weird but in like. A good way. I LOVE villain william though, he’s my fave don’t get me wrong hehe) him and his ✨🏳️‍🌈BUSINESS PARTNER and BEST FRIEND🏳️‍🌈✨ Henry just. Explore their feelings because they’re down bad for each other for SURE. I need middle age man yoai but make it not toxic- or not as toxic. Like I LOVE LOVE LOVEEE the tragic dynamic between those two when Will is a fucked up murderer, but damn dude this is supposed to be a happy AU here lemme have this😭

Also just Henry watching Charlie grow up <3 my soul like. Needs that, man. And just bein a cool uncle to the Afton kiddos!! Going to Mike’s highschool graduation, he’s SO proud, that’s his boy! Bonus points if other kids are like “yo Mike, who’s your dad’s boyfriend? Hahahaaha” and Mike’s like “that’s my ‘Uncle’ Henry and he’s actually really fuckin cool so shut up” (and also my dad’s boyfriend)

Also. William just…being a dad. I need this, man. I need it. UGH! DAD WILLIAM! NOW! And Henry never falling into a deep deep depression or emptiness because his little girl was never uhhh brutally KILLED. Pleeease