#cornerofsecrets

[cicilove26]

Some nightmares are so persistent as to become an unreal reality. They're so frequent and so jarring that even though the dreamer knows she dreams, she can't seem to wake herself up. And when those dreams are based in the awful friction of reality to begin with? Well, that just makes things that much worse because waking up … you know there's no reprieve from the boogey man that hides beneath your bed. The monsters are real, and they've gotten inside your head.

- Allison's adventures in Underland by C.M. Stunich

[cicilove26]

[cicilove26]

I hate when it's quiet enough to leave me alone with my thoughts.

[cicilove26]

I was asked what happened.

Truth is, I don't know.

[cicilove26]

I'm thinking a lot about the things I didn't say.

[cicilove26]

[cicilove26]

[cicilove26]

Maybe I'm just not creativity inclined enough to do this.

[cicilove26]

[cicilove26]

YOU'RE WORTHLESS!

YOU'RE FUCKING WORTHLESS!

DIE!

FUCKING WORTHLESS!

[cicilove26]

I'm exhausted.

Mentally exhausted.

So much so that just the thought of turning on a light feels like a weight on my shoulders.

I just need to sit in the dark and not think about the tension in my body.

My mind feels lacking in the capacity to handle the day to day activities.

I just need today to shut everything out.

[cicilove26]

I feel as though I've become an emotionally detached robot

🤖

[cicilove26]

Sometimes I feel like you're so closed off.

Then I wonder if it's me who's closed off.

[cicilove26]

It is already turning out to be a not so good week.

Yesterday left my chest feeling tight.

I can't seem to sit still, I feel wired.

My head is a jumbled mess and on the constant verge of a headache this morning.

I am craving silence but as soon as I turn this music off I crave noise of any kind so I don't have to try and sort through whatever is going on in my brain.

Tears burn my eyes randomly but I can't actually cry.

I don't know what I need. I don't know how to calm myself down. I don't know how to stop the panic.

[cicilove26]

[cicilove26]

Part of being an adult is figuring your shit out.

I refuse to be your crutch anymore.

It's ok to feel bad about the situation.

But not ok to feel responsible.