#crash test piggie

[janetbrown711]

Little Lion Man

Pigsy sends the kids off with Tang for a field trip to the zoo on the eight year anniversary of his abandonment of Sandy. Surely he will be perfectly fine on his own, especially if nobody calls him. And surely Tang will be fine handling the kids on his own for the first time ever. Everything is fine.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 8.5 Part 9 Part 10 Part 10.5 Part 11

Ao3 Link

Pigsy woke up to his alarm on October 14th the same way he did every goddamned year: with his alarm blaring, dread in his chest, and a lump in his throat. It was aggravating– even when Pigsy made an effort not to keep track of calender dates, his body just knew– it just fucking knew. Then again it probably didn’t help that today was also the day of the field trip to the zoo that Tang was chaperoning for MK and Mei– which was good, but also meant for weeks all he’d heard about was today’s date.

The last time he ever talked to Sandy.

Pigsy was going to open the restaurant. He had every year since that godawful call. He had to. It wasn’t like he ever wanted to close it though– that would be stupid. He needed the money. ‘Sides, Pigsy never closed– unless it was for the kids. But that was different. This was nothing. A memory. Something that happened eight years ago. Pigsy was fine. This didn’t matter.

Sit up. Crack the back. Turn off that stupid alarm. Breathe.

He’d lived here for over a month, but it was still difficult to adjust to the fact that while this room certainly had the space for a kitchen, he’d actually have to go out for any of that.

Unlike that day. Or night, really. It was 2:46 AM when he’d gotten the first call. He’d just gotten home from spending the night with some lady demon at a stupid ass bar. He was exhausted from the drinking and hollering and had just wanted to crash into bed, and when he saw it was an unknown number he just ignored it.

“PIGGY! I CAN’T FIND MY BACKPACK!” Mei called from the hallway.

The chef rubbed his eyes. “Have you looked in the closet?”

A bit of pause.

“NOT THERE– OH WAIT–” Pigsy chuckled a little as he heard things being tossed. “FOUND IT!”

“Well there you go, kid. Get ready.” He called out and with a quick patter, she was gone.

Find a clean shirt. Put in one arm, then the other. Make sure the buttons aren’t crooked. Find pants, one leg, then the other. Find socks. Realize all of your socks are a mess. Realize you are a mess. Put them on anyway. Find shoes, tie them. Breathe.

Pigsy was glad he wasn’t going on the field trip. Of course Mk and Mei had practically begged him, but it was a good step for Tang to have them for a couple of hours. Sorta like ‘testing the waters’ or whatever. ‘Sides, he was feeling hungover, despite the fact he didn’t drink at all the previous night. Or– week, for that matter. Either way there was a headache and he didn’t feel like making breakfast.

MK was already dressed and waiting for the pig demon at the kitchen island, feet swinging happily with the kind of pure joy radiating on his face that only a child could possess.

“Morning Pigsy!” He said, leaning forward. “Whatcha gonna make today?”

“Cereal. I’m tired,” Pigsy grumbled, pulling down a box of ‘Monkey Charms’ and some bowls.

MK laughed a little. “You’re tired a lot, Pigsy.”

“Yeah. I am,” Pigsy sighed, going to the fridge for milk, disappointed to find there was barely enough for two bowls– but whatever, he’d just skip it. Wasn’t like he couldn’t afford it.

MK was content though, scarfing down his food at his usual quick pace while he tried to talk about the latest episode of The Ninja King while Pigsy brewed himself a pot of coffee and tried to listen.

He hadn’t even had time to take his coat off when the phone rang again. With a grunt, he set it on the counter, upset he saw it was the same unknown number. He had gone to pour himself a glass of baijiu. It had stopped ringing by the time he finished drinking it.

“...And then Monkey King– er– Monkey Ninja King was all like ‘Watch this suckaaaaa’ and did a backflip, snapped the bad guy's neck and saved the day! It was so cool, Pigsy– I love cable,” MK finished, snapping Pigsy back.

“Sounds kind of violent, don’t it?” Pigsy didn’t have an issue, he just wondered how a kid like MK would like something like that.

“Eh, it was cool,” MK shrugged with a grin, eating more cereal. “Plus, it was to defend this lady monkey so it was for honor and stuff and the greater good.”

“Well that’s good I guess,” Pigsy shrugged to himself.

“MK-! Do you have my– Cereal? Why cereal?” Mei stopped in her tracks.

“What’s wrong with cereal? Don’t you like it?” The chef frowned a little.

“Nooo, I dooo, it’s just– I dunno– boring?” Mei shrugged.

“Well it’s what you’re getting today. Mr. Tang can buy you two some lunch– and if he can’t, then tell him I’ll pay him back,” Pigsy rubbed his forehead and went back to his coffee.

“Ughhhhhhhhhh, okay,” Mei groaned, taking her seat and complying.

The machine beeped and Pigsy grabbed his favorite mug and poured.

With the blink of dissociative eyes, Pigsy was already out the door and dropped the kids off at the school, and apparently he’d lit a cigarette somewhere along the way too. He wasn’t supposed to– he knew MK hated it, but he couldn’t smother it no matter how hard he tried.

“Hey you two little monkeys-! You ready for the field trip?” Tang snuck up on Pigsy and cheered for the kids who quickly joined in.

“I wanna see the monkeys! I hear they got cool nets and stuff and you can go through tunnels and stuff and they’ll move around you,” MK grinned big, glad to step away from the smoke a bit.

“Well I wanna see the reptile room. I wanna see me a big old lizard boy,” Mei announced.

“I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for both, you two,” Tang laughed before turning his attention to Pigsy.

“Are… you okay?” His face immediately fell.

“Bad morning. Have fun with the kids,” Pigsy half-lied, not wanting to get into it and figuring a simple explanation would keep him happy and at least slightly unworried.

“Oh– uh– will do then,” Tang winced a little, before adding– “Try not to smoke too much, though.”

Pigsy snorted weakly before saying motionless goodbyes and heading off to the restaurant by himself.

In the subway, his phone rang. Pigsy’s breath hitched as he fished it out and immediately hit decline, not even bothering to check caller ID. He also didn’t get rid of his cigarette when someone told him it wasn’t allowed on the train. He rode in silence, until he was suddenly unlocking the door of the restaurant.

8:32– he was late.

How, he didn’t know– maybe there’d been a delay in the train. Maybe he’d done something wrong– well that was probably guaranteed but– ugh, he didn’t have time for this. He set his cigarette in an ashtray and started prepping, startled when half way through slicing chives he realized he already had another in his mouth, and the stench was starting to burn his throat.

Get it together.

Suddenly he was finished with both the cigarette and the prep work and so opened at–

9:03– still late.

This time he saw himself fish out his reds and lighter but he didn’t even bother to try and pull back.

His phone buzzed to life again at 9:32, when still nobody had arrived at the restaurant. He took it out of his pocket but instead of answering, he placed it on the counter and watched it buzz and buzz and ring and ring and ring and ring and– Why hadn’t anyone arrived yet? It was a friday for crying out loud– Pigsy was supposed to be busy by now– his hands were supposed to be clocking in orders and he was just supposed to be lost in the circadian rhythm– they were supposed to fucking be here already.

When the phone finally stopped buzzing, Pigsy scrubbed down the restaurant one– two– three but still by 10:19 nobody was there. Nobody. Not a single soul.

Alone.

…He wasn't supposed to– it was technically illegal, but he opened a bottle of rice wine and began to drink, the dry mix of sweet and sour clashing with the ash and toxicity of tobacco. It was god awful and didn't do anything to make Pigsy feel better but he continued to drink anyways as his world just started to spiral in his head.

Nobody was there.

Was he even reading the clocks right? It was morning– people should be here– they shouldn't let him do this– he shouldn't let him do this–

His phone rang again.

Enraged, Pigsy snatched the phone from the counter and grabbed another bottle of wine (having finished the first) before storming up the stairs into the mostly empty apartment that was in the process of becoming an office/hang out space for MK and Mei. He set the phone on the counter and sat at a stool and watched it as his mind tugged him further and further back into the past.

Pigsy popped open the bottle and took a long, long swig.

.o0o.

Annoyance had flooded Pigsy’s senses when the phone rang a third time that morning, and despite his instincts to just hang up and block the number, he answered.

“Hello–”

“Pigsy-! Thank the stars you answered– I-i—”

“Sandy? The hell happened to your phone?” Pigsy poured himself another glass of baijiu.

“Pigsy– l-look, I-i– I don’t know what to do– I-i didn’t know who to call– I-i–”

“Woah, woah, woah– slow your roll here, man,” Pigsy huffed and took a sip. “The hell happened? Are you– crying?”

“I-i’m in jail, Pigsy– b-but look– you gotta listen to me– whatever they tell you, I-i didn’t mean to, okay? She was my world Bajie– please–”

All humor left the air and Pigsy set his glass down. “Sandy, you gotta calm down. I can’t understand you with all this weepin’.”

Harsh words– too harsh.

“Pigsy please, you gotta help me–”

“Sandy, stop– Just–” Pigsy rubbed his forehead, leaning on the sink. “It’s way too late for this, and you know I got delivery day tomorrow– ‘sides, bail is closed on the weekends.”

“I just– Xin– you know I-i love her– b-but I thought– she looked like one of ‘em– the enemy soldiers– I didn’t mean to hurt her, Bajie, you know I never would.”

Pigsy’s eyes widened, a lump forming rapidly in his throat.

“Sandy… what happened to Xin?”

His friend didn’t reply.

“Sandy, answer me," Pigsy slammed his fist against his fridge.

Sandy, the tall and stoic and brave, just started blubbering like a baby again and all Pigsy could do was shake his head to stop realization from hitting him, but it settled in nonetheless.

“B-bajie– I swear I didn’t mean to– I didn’t mean to– It was an accident– I thought sh-she– A-and now– I-i can’t live with myself– Bajie please–”

Pigsy took his trembling legs to the table where he lowered the phone and poured another drink through rapidly cloudy eyes.

Hai Xin was the kindest woman alive and the perfect soulmate for Sandy: tall, strong, honest and confident. She was everything Pigsy couldn’t have ever been– she made Sandy happy.

And now she was fucking gone. Because of Sandy. Because of the war.

Because of Pigsy.

“–Bajie y-you have to help me– you know I didn’t mean it– I never would– I loved her– I loveher– please–”

“Jesus fucking Christ Sandy– what the hell do you expect me to do?! Y-you killed her–! I-i can’t–”

"Pigsy, please. No one else knows me like you– y-you’re my best friend– you have to help me," His friend wept.

“Friend???” Pigsy laughed bitterly, tears falling down his face. “I-i– I’m not your friend, Sandy– Friends don’t do this to each other.”

“B…Pigsy, you don’t mean–”

“Of course I fucking do! I-i– I can’t do this– I can’t be with you– I-i–” Pigsy buried his face in his hands.

“Pigsy… please… It was an accident– please believe me…”

Pigsy shook his head violently before having to take several deep breaths so he could spit out, “Get a lawyer, Sandy. A good one.”

Sandy gasped on the other line– “W-wait, Pigsy– plea–”

Pigsy hung up, poured himself another glass of baijiu, and chugged it down before collapsing into sobs.

.o0o.

Sobbing.

Pigsy was sobbing.

He was sitting at the same fucking table, in the same fucking apartment, holding the same fucking phone– that phone– that ringing, unceasing phone– that stupid fucking cursed phone that had destroyed everything–

In half a heartbeat, Pigsy stood and threw his phone against the wall with all his might, shattering it into bits and pieces instantly. He was almost startled by the monstrous force behind it, before he touched his face and realized he had completely lost his glamor.

Long tusks, scarred cheek, wild and matted fur, and roughly seven feet tall– probably 700 pounds too.

He looked like the monster he was inside.

Pigsy immediately sank to his knees and wept– he wept and wept and wept and wept until he was on the floor next to the completely empty bottle of rice wine, sharp pain infecting his chest as it felt he forgot how to breathe.

“S-sandy, I– *hic* – I-i didn’ mean– I’m so– *hic*–sorry,” He gave meaningless, useless, pathetic apologies to the swirling apartment around him. Painful ringing filled his ears and all he could do was cry and cry and cry and cry.

Hai Xin was a saint. Sandy was a saint. And Pigsy? Pigsy was what you saw– a filthy, disgusting, violent, destructive, addicted, fat demon who can’t ever solve his own goddamned messes and was now intoxicated, miserable, and alone.

His vision started to blur as the pain and agony in chest grew. He tried drinking more wine to drown out his disappointment and wrath but by now the bottle was empty so he threw that aside too, glass going everywhere.

Broken pieces– shattered lives– what was Pigsy even doing right now?? God– he totally destroyed his phone– what if it was Tang who called? The school? Were MK and Mei alright? What about Tang? Were all three of them– he shouldn't have left them alone– he shouldn't have left any of them alone. This was his fault. He was a monster– a beast– a murderer– a–

“Mr. Zhu?” A soft voice sent Pigsy shooting straight up, and he immediately swung a punch in that direction, but the (glowing???) figure dodged with perfect ease.

Pigsy landed on the floor with a heavy thud and he cut himself on some of the glass from the wine bottle. He turned back to them, anger still bright in his eyes before the glowing figure touched his arm, and a deep calm washed over him, relaxing his breath and muscles before he could focus his eyes and realize that the bright figure was just–

Gatita..???

“Pigsy– are you alright?” The woman touched his oversized, beastly arm with zero hesitation, which made Pigsy flinch.

“G-gatita– I-i wasn’t– *hic*– expecting you,” He struggled to sit up.

“It’s okay, Pigsy, you’re okay– you're just having a panic attack, just breathe for me,” Gatita assisted, getting him against a wall and kneeling in front of him.

“Th-the kids– they’re– *hic*– are they okay?” He grabbed shoulder. with all his might, making her wince, and he let go in a panic.

“Hey, hey– easy there,” She tried to soothe. “The children are fine, Mr. Zhu– I’m asking about you; What happened? Why didn’t you answer my calls? Why are you up here?” She sat in front of him so he was forced to look at her.

Pigsy’s hands fumbled for his cigarettes in his pocket, but Gatita gently pulled them away from his hand.

“Mr. Zhu, I need you to be forward with me,” She looked at him so softly it hurt. “What happened here?”

Pigsy blinked slowly. “Y-you’re the one who– *hic* –called?”

Gatita nodded. “I was hoping to have lunch with you; have you take the day off to chat and see how you’re holding up.”

Pigsy laughed, covering his eyes with his hand. “Sandy… Xin…”

The woman nodded solemnly. “I’ve heard.”

“You’ve– oh shit– Gatita– please– y-you– *hic* –you can’t– the kids– please the kids–” Pigsy shook his head as tears streamed down his fur.

“Hey now,” Gatita said, and another calm wave washed over the demon against his will. “Nobody is going anywhere, nobody is getting taken away– it’s okay.”

‘It’s okay.’

When was anything ever “okay”? How could ruining your best friend's life and getting someone else killed ever okay?????

“Leave me alone, Gatita,” Pigsy growled, eyes red.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that, Mr. Zhu– you are deeply unwell, and you need help,” She placed a soft hand on his giant cheek.

Pigsy glared. “You should be– *hic* – afraid of me.”

Gatita chuckled and wiped away a stray tear. “I’ve seen my fair share of demons, Mr. Zhu, and you’re a rose compared to them.”

Pigsy grunted his disbelief, before asking, “Why were you calling?”

“Well… if you want to think of it in professional terms, then it’s because I know that my client–Mei–’s wellbeing is directly tied to your wellbeing. However, I like to think of it more as me being fond of you and wondering how you’ve been holding up since I last saw you,” She assured him gently.

“You calling is what set me off in the first fuckin’ place– I mean– goddamn– six– seven times–?”

“It was only twice, Mr. Zhu,” Gatita looked genuinely confused.

Pigsy blinked. “N-no, you had– who–?” the demon shook his head, “Doesn’t matter– phone’s fucking broken,” he gestured to the shattered pieces before rubbing his face. “God, I’m such an idiot– I’m sorry– I just– I–”

“You’ve hurt yourself,” Gatita noticed the cut in his hand.

Pigsy growled, “S’what I get for breakin’ all this shit.”

"Broken glass can be swept, and a phone can be replaced, Mr. Zhu, but a life cannot," she frowned softly, reaching into her bag and pulling out a bandage.

“God– you think I don’t know that?!," Pigsy snapped, startling her.

For weeks he had pleaded to never had heard that phone call– that he'd go to Xin and Sandy's wedding in two months as planned. That he'd be the best man and give a sappy speech and everything would feel okay and Pigsy would be satisfied knowing Sandy finally had someone good in his life and he could become the recluse in his restaurant like he was always meant to be.

He wished for– begged for– prayed for a way he could've possibly made things better– but once the newspaper arrived and the details of the trial were released, he had known the best thing he could do was disappear.

His Nana had stopped him.

"Hey, hey– it’s alright, just breathe for me–"

“Hai Xin is dead because of me, Gatita,” Pigsy snapped. "I cant just fucking 'breathe' that away!"

Gatita went silent for a moment, closing her eyes before unwrapping the bandage and placing it on his hand.

"Mr. Zhu… feeling guilty and torturing yourself or even getting yourself killed won’t bring her back– you must understand this," she pleaded. "MK, Mei and Tang need you, and I will not watch idly by as you throw yourself away."

Pigsy sat up a little. “I-i wasn’t– I’m not–”

Gatita looked deep, deep into his eyes.

"...It's just a bad day."

"You don't have to be alone, you know."

"I've been alone for eight years, Gatita, and I’ve always been just fine, and I’ll always be fine–"

"You know you didn't turn on your sign. The one outside."

Pigsy blinked. "...What?"

"That’s why nobody was in the restaurant. They thought you hadn’t opened.”

The demon shook his head. "But that's… nonono, I always–"

"Mr. Zhu, look at me."

He hesitated but obeyed.

"You are not fine. You are not okay. You made terrible mistakes in your past and they have wounded you severely. You need help and not just for your sake– but for your family's too."

"They aren’t my family…"

Gatita gasped in quiet heartbreak and Pigsy quickly corrected himself.

"I-i don't mean it like that– I-i just– I-i can't. I'm not good enough– I'll never be good enough– I mean– look at me!" Pigsy laughed pathetically. "I'm a seven foot drunk fucking monster with giant tusks and claws and just– I can't. I-i can care, I can watch, I-i can protect, but I'll never– I can't be a– I'll kill them."

Gatita instantly wrapped her arms around his thick neck and squeezed tightly, saying nothing and yet everything at the same time. For some stupid, pathetic reason, Pigsy hugged her back and allowed himself to cry in her embrace.

“Mr. Zhu… you are not cursed, and you are not a murderer. What happened was an awful, awful accident that isn't anybody's fault," She said, still holding on.

Pigsy shook his head. "I'll kill them one day– I will, I will–”

“Pigsy–" She let go.

“All I do is hurt people. A-and yeah, I can try, but I’ll fuck up just like my pops did and then they’ll turn 18 and never, ever want to see me again, and with Mei’s fancy schmancy inheritance they can move to the otherside of the world for all they care, a-and–”

“Pigsy, look at me.”

He did.

“Your father is not kind to himself. Neither was his, or his father and so on and so forth. If you want to break this pattern, you must believe in yourself and that you can be better,” She placed a hand on his shoulder.

“How the hell’d you know that?” Pigsy snorted in contempt, and Gatita frowned.

“That doesn’t matter,” She waved him off. “Let me ask you somethinge: do you think the kids would be happy seeing you like this?” She asked.

Pigsy shook his head and meant it.

He could practically imagine it– MK standing frozen by the door at the sight of him– terrified of him throwing that bottle. Mei would yell at him for scaring MK– say she hates him, or say she wished she’d prefer her babysitters or nannies anyday compared to him. She’d find a way to hurt him– she would. They’d never trust him again. And Pigsy would deserve it.

“Children are impressionable creatures, Mr. Zhu. Their minds are so susceptible to every little thing and pattern– not unlike monkeys, really,” Gatita laughed a little before shaking her head. “But I digress– what I mean is… well… Would you like it if the kids, having heard or seen your self-abusive tendencies, began to mimic it?”

“No-! That’d be–...” Pigsy’s eyes softened in realization. “That’d be awful, ma’am.”

The lawyer smiled at him wearily. “You need to take care of yourself, friend. For the children’s sake because– well– pardon my bluntness, but the last thing they need is to lose another parental figure.”

Her words hit like dagger in his chest, but at least the message was loud and clear.

“I-i don’t… I don’t wanna fail ‘em, I just feel like I will anyways…” He whispered, looking away.

“The best way to make sure that doesn’t happen is to take care of yourself, Mr. Zhu,” She placed a soft hand under his chin.

“But I– I don’t–”

“You may think you don’t deserve it, but don’t the children deserve a happier, healthier guardian?”

“Then give them to Tang-!” Pigsy shouted. “I-i don’t know why or how I was chosen, but I am very clearly not the best guy for the job– I mean– look at me– really, really look at me.”

She did.

“Do I seriously look like I could ever be a ‘happy, healthy guardian’?” He asked, voice cracking.

“Mr. Zhu, you do not understand how much deliberation went into your eventually selection– while Mr. Tang is good and kind and–”

“–And human?” Pigsy glared.

“...and intelligent, he cannot provide the level of protection you can. He lacks your bravery and tenacity and your resourcefulness– he is a great man, but he is not the protector and caregiver they need,” She took two of his fingers and squeezed them, since his hand was far too big to be held.

“...But what if I ruin ‘em? What if–” Pigsy swallowed a lump in his throat– “What if one day that light in MK’s eyes just… fades. What if Mei stops joking around? What if something hurts them– what if I hurt them? What if it’s all my fault and they really would’ve ended up better off with some fancy schmancy royal life instead of being with me? What if you were wrong?”

“There is nothing that cannot be overcome with love, compassion, and care– and that includes to the self,” Gatita didn’t waver a second.

Pigsy opened his mouth to speak, but Gatita held out a finger.

“Think of it this way: if you had the option of boarding a bus with a driver that hated himself, never got any sleep, and was smoking and drinking, versus one with a bit of temperament but always arrived on time and with care, which would you feel better about picking? Heck– which one would you want MK and Mei to ride with?”

Pigsy closed his eyes and bit his cheek before shaking his head. “Dammit Gatita– you make this really hard.”

The lawyer laughed. “I’ve had a lot of practice over the years.”

Pigsy didn’t doubt that.

Gatita dusted herself off and stood. “Look– how's about you let me take you home, I’ll make you some tea, lend you an ear for any other thoughts or feelings you have– or we just watch a movie, go for a walk– and overall just relax until the children and Tang get home and I’ll let you take it from there, hm?”

Pigsy sighed, running his hand through his fur. “I… yeah, I guess that does sound kinda… nice…”

“Wise decision,” Gatita winked and offered her hand.

Pigsy didn’t take it right away though, glancing at her nervously.

“I… I really, really don’t wanna hurt ‘em…” he confessed.

“You want to know something?” She asked.

Pigsy nodded.

“No good parent wants to either,” She whispered with a wink.

Pigsy laughed a little. “Guess I can’t argue there, huh?”

Gatita shrugged. “You put up a good fight– reminds me of an old friend,” she once again offered her hand.

This time, Pigsy took it, shrinking back down to his glamored form, though stumbling a bit forward since he was still quite drunk.

“Feeling any better yet, Mr. Zhu?” Gatita smiled softly and helped stabilize him.

“It’s Pigsy– and… yeah, I guess I am… thanks.” Pigsy couldn’t help but give a weak smile in return.

“Anytime, Pigsy,” Gatita nodded a little. “Now let’s get you home and get something other than two bottles of wine in you, hm?”

“Ugh– is that what happened? Jeez, I really am a mess,” Pigsy cringed.

“You’re a work in progress,” Gatita patted his arm before getting the door. “Shall we?”

“Yeah… yeah– let’s go,” Pigsy nodded to himself and together the pair walked into a brighter day.

[localvoidcat]

heheh it’s that time again <- bout to go nuts about the FNAF piggy au brainrot again

this one’s mainly just a rough idea of the plot. it’s kinda a mess of many small stories combined, and the best thing to compare it to is those 3 story + epilogue books. everyone has their own little story, and it’s all combined. Admittedly I have a rough idea of the events and most characters haven’t been given new roles since I’m kinda using a similar method to the og (using a random picker to choose a character, but instead of assigning them blindly, this time I think!) but what I can say is shit gets worse before it gets better. not like bone shatteringly bad but I am going to need to look into how trauma effects multiple age groups kinda bad if I think of an epilogue.

there’s three plot ideas I have that are kinda set in stone right now, alongside others that will probably slowly come together in a way that makes it hopefully not too messy of just all of the alive people doing their own things

1: kinda based off of the OG game, a detective (William) and yes that name is ironic if you think of it) is assigned to the more recent missing persons cases from the company, slowly bringing him down a rabbit hole of questions as he links it with his sister and one of his foster parents both going missing around the same time when he was young. yeah sometimes the adults get killed too nobody is safe from the murders this time

2: one of the new engineers (Pony, though his name is changed since… I don’t think it really works, though maybe later he’ll use it) is admittedly not doing well, linked to a cult that is having him steal from his work. During a particularly stressful weak, he has a bit too much to drink but still drives a fellow engineer (Kona) home resulting in a car crash, killing the passenger but not him. this kinda just gets him to snap, leading to some rash decisions and his eventual death, though his story doesn’t end there

3: the third one would probably take place much earlier on, being an aftermath of an “incident” involving a malfunctioning animatronic which may or may not have been possessed. still figuring that out. Either way, the victim, Fillip (or Phillip? I’m too lazy to google this rn) has to pull himself out from the ashes of the incident while trying to figure out why it happened and also why the hell this company has so much damn dirt on it. I feel like it’d be a background plot before intertwining with the first, but again this is still in early stages.

one last thing I’m having to think up is why there’s so many different animatronics. like they aren’t just recolors they’re almost all unique. I’m thinking of the company having had one of the founders delve deep into creating the robots to distract himself from a tragedy + some of them just vaguely resembling their namesake for some sort of testing of tech, like security things. then again I might downsize and use the bunch of pig based recolors to my advantage lol. we’ll see though

I LOVE THAT SO MUCH this has so much to it i love hearing about this... i like the thought process behind why there's so many different animatronics i'm excited to see what you do with that

[missamyrisa2]

hi Miss Amy i hope you had a great holiday! I was hoping as a holiday gift that tickle mama amy would come down the chimney and after my feet? im a guy with big ticklish feet who melts for tickle talk and This Little Piggy

The cozy evening is gently interrupted by a growing tingling sound, a pixie jingle coming down the shaft. The fire winks out of existence for a moment as shiny black boots glide into view, followed by legs looking a bit slender for Santa, a red velvety skirt trimmed with white fluff on the bottom and the oversized black belt on top ~ when a petite belly follows you're sure something is amiss, as that tummy is quite exposed by the cropped white vest with big buttons. The jingling continues, care of two belled bracelets on long lean arms ~ the appearance is capped by a luscious tuft of long blonde hair, flipped to one side around the beaming face under a santa hat whose puff is bouncing comically as she steps before you, snapping a finger to reignite the flame. "Coo, coo, coo~" she smiles, hands on her hips. "Merry Gigglesmas sweet pea ~ looks like someone..." She reaches from behind and produces a scroll. With a shake and a dip, the parchment unfurls to an impossible length, and a feathered pen appears in her other hand. She clicks her tongue, purses her ruby lips and looks down the list. "...has been veryyyy good this year!"

She tosses her list aside, the paper thinning out into nothingness, but keeps the pen in hand. The fluffy white feather whips gently in the air as she steps closer to you, boots clicking on the floor. "You know what good boys get don't you~" she chuckles, hand on her belt as the feather draws over your nose at your balking response to being called a boy. "Why of course I know how hold you are ~ but you're a boy to this tickle mama~" She delights at your blushing, following as you scoot back. "Good boys get tickles, oh yes they do, my, my, my ~" Fingers drift down, wiggling tauntingly over your belly. "Do you have just so many giggles in your belly? Aww, you tell mama Amy all about it now." Her arm wraps around you, cuddling you lovingly. The fingers at your side trace up and down, carefully working your shirt up to expose a little slash of skin for the feather to start tracing back and forth as she pumps you for giggly information. "Have you wanted your tickles all year? Yeahhh? Where did you want to be tickled? Mmhmm. Is that your favorite place to be tickled? And you like to be tickled more than to tickle right? Are you my sweet little ticklee boy? You just want to be cuddled and loved and feel so special huh?" The feather dips in and out of your navel, carefully exploring its depths before swirling in a loopy pattern, following the twitches and gliding on your waist. Her nails at your side squeeze and stroke to accent the sensation, as does her merry chuckles and big smiles drifting down from above. All the movement of her hands sets off those jingly bells, the sound sending aural tickles up to your silly ears. "Aww ~ just relax, your tickle mama is taking care of you now~"

She releases you and tells you to stand up. "C'mon, stand up~" she starts poking you playfully, stroking under your arms and behind your knees. When you stumble up to attention she chases you with more pokes and playful tickles, directing you over to the couch. Taking at seat at the opposite side, she pats her lap lovingly. "Feet~" she directs, pointing at your socked soles. When you sheepishly start to bring them forth she smirks and seizes your ankles, tugging your feet into her lap. "Oooh, such big feet you have my giggle boy. Let's seee~" the back of her index finger begins probing up your sock, carefully diverting around and testing for reactions. "Does that tickle? How about here? Right here? On the little instep? I'll take that as a yes~" she coos and hums, evolving from little testing strokes to playful wiggles. Her other hand makes a crash course to attack the other foot, wiggling fingers slowly in the air towards its destination. "Coochie coochie coooo~ you're very ticklish. Very ticklish boy. Ticklishness!" She follows your wiggling feet, keeping them dancing with playful strokes and scratches on the surface of your socks, smiling away at every reaction. "Do you just love your tickle mama tickles? Let's hear it silly honeybunch~" As you start to respond, her fingers hook the ends of your socks, her mouth open in mock concern. "Ooh. Ooop! What's gonna happen? What's gonnnna happen?" Her nails follow the progress of the socks, gliding along the skin as it is exposed. With a squeak, she reaches your toes and pops off each sock, tossing them aside unceremoniously behind her. "You won't be needing theseee~"

She looks over your wiggling toes, admiring their shape and motion. "What adorable toesies~ are they ticklish? Ticklish toes? Hmm. Are your ticklish toes on my good tickle spot list?" She again reaches into nothing and produces a scroll lined with feathery edges. "Why yes, they are! And guess what your toes are getting for Christmas?" She chuckles, her exposed tummy bouncing merrily. "A nice game of This Little Piggy!" She squeals, tossing aside her list and making a pinchy motion with her thumb and index finger. "Ahhhhhh~" The pinchies grow closer and closer, a smirk on her lips as she fakes out a few times, getting to your big toe and hovering over it. "Ahhh ahhh~ thiiiiis little piggie went to market~" She starts, holding your big toe and rubbing it softly and slowly with her thumb. As she plays the game, her other hand retrieves the feather and starts dusting under the currently highlighted toe playfully. The next toe ~ "this little piggie stayed home~" Her thumb massages tight little circles on the toe, the feather swishing down below. "Thiiiiis little piggie had~ kumquats!" she snickers, moving to the next toe, where her thumb and feather meet on the smaller surface, rubbing and fluffing that sensitive digit. "This little piggie had a market. Or it stayed roast beef. Hmmmm~~" Her thumb wiggles and the feather idly traces under all the toes. "Now, how did this go again~This little piggie~ this giggle boy, hmmmsss. Now, now, don't fret. Tickle mama will get it~ " She starts idly drifting from toe to toe, the feather even wafting down to play at your sole. At last she squeaks and recalibrates, recapturing that toe and working her magic touch. "This little piggie stayed home with tickle mama for all these wonderful ticklesss~" she grins knowingly, moving to the pinky. "Annnnd this little piggie~ wennnnnntt~" she stops her narration and attacks both of your feet, hooking an arm around your ankles and raking her nails up your soles, digging under your toes and stroking the inner curves in a rapid blur of motion. "Allllll the way home!!" She cackles out, keeping your feet captured snugly in her lap ~

The night becomes a blur in your recollection from this point. She certainly played this little piggie on your other foot as well, and some variation called this little llama on your belly. And then it was warm snuggles, held in tickle mama's lap, all that soft hair over you and soft touches along your body while she prompted you for your holiday wishes and tickly confessions. The jingling never stopped, the giggles never ended. Your laughs went long into the night. Was it all tickle haze? Certainly not, as you wipe the sleep from your eyes now and see those black boots gliding back up the chimney, her chuckle and the jingly bells following as the fire once again rears to life. Your toes and belly tingle with holiday delight.

[tonkihill]

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[maruth31]

📖✨ Crossing this book out from my Dream TBR Bucket list! 🤩 As a massive fan of dystopian genre (may it be books, short stories or cinema), I'm so thrilled to finally be able to read this classic castaway novel ~ TLOTF 🐗 And what a delightful heartbreak this novel has been! It tackles so much especially on what ultimately makes us humans even under constrictions that would quite test our conscious choices and convictions. It revolved around a group of young boys whose plane crashed over a deserted island (as they were being evacuated during a nuclear war as implied). With not a single grownup around, a couple of new 'friends', Ralph and Piggy called for an assembly in hope for survivors to come together and try to sort things out. Unfortunately, things got messy. 🔥 ~•~ #LordOfTheFlies #WilliamGolding #dystopian 📚🔖 https://www.instagram.com/p/Cgklku5hOsg/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[imagidreaming]

Gonzo the Great's Great Cannonball Coaster

The outside of the attraction is just an impossible roller coaster. A big cannon shoots Muppets in coaster cars out onto a track that, fuck it, spells out the title of the ride in cursive! Ha! It's the world's first G ticket attraction!

The story is this is the first big Muppet ride and if it's a smash hit, they'll get a whole land devoted to em!

You get into line and there's a series of different videos hyping up the UNVEILING OF THIS RIDE! That's right, it's always launch day! One vid is like a travel channel style one where Dr. Bunsen Honeydew (& Beaker, to a lesser degree) offer an explanation for the, again, impossible physics of the daredevil, Gonzo the Great's daring new ride! Another is Pepe and Rizzo as influencers checking out the façade of the ride and speculating how it's gonna be, some good gags with drone footage. Another? A Defunctland style video essay about Gonzo's previous failed stunts hosted by Walter. Another? Stadler & Waldorf doing a video podcast where they talk about how much of a failure the ride is gonna be. Just a couple guys being dudes.

The last part of the queue is Joe the Legal Weasel rambling off all the bad things that could happen to you if you ride it and that they are not liable! Ok! Enjoy it! Bye!

You board what looks like a coaster car and it tick tick ticks ya along until you get to what looks like the inner rim of that cannon from outside. Here we goooo!

Whoops! Crunk dunk! It goes wrong! It backfires, literally and sends you careening backwards, breaking through walls and it becomes a trackless vehicle dark ride through the backstage area! You crash through/accidentally ride, prototypes of attractions that would be coming to Muppetland.

Think Simpsons ride but sliiightly less nakedly cynical and significantly less shitty.

Treasure Island = Pirates of the Caribbean

Miss Piggy's Tea Party = Teacups and you just KNOW there's a Kermit sipping tea gag in there, henny!

Swedish Chef Sing-Along Smorgasbord = Food Rocks

Honeydew & Beaker's Test Lab = Test Track

Uncle Deadly's Uniquely Dreary Dungeon = Haunted Mansion

Sam the Eagles Tribute to All Nations (But Mostly America) = Hall of Presidents/American Adventure

Happiness Hotel = Tower of Terror

Na'vi River Journey but they're made of felt!

Then you land on a treadmill with a dingy little screen with POV footage of a roller coaster being projected on it in front of it. A big middle finger to screen rides!

Electric Mayhem = Rockin' Rollercoaster sends us home!

Ya end up back on the "real" track with some fire hoops and chicken coops and a big "ta-da" form Gonzo! Kermit's like, let him work the kinks out and come back and see us, again!

[whatisthiswritingthing]

Get Over Yourself - Lindsey Horan x Reader

Prompt: The Great Horan x reader? Where she and R aren’t a thing, but there are some feelings there. R always flirts with her and asks her out a lot, but Lindsey always rejects her. Eventually, R stops doing it bc she doesn’t want to continue being hurt and disappointed by the rejection. So, when R gets shipped with another teammate (you decide) by the fans, R has to flirt with them as PR stunt. Lindsey gets jealous and realizes that she wants to be the only one R flirts with. Cue an angsty fight between the two until she finally tells R how she feels and they make up.

“Hey Linds, do you believe in love at first sight?” Y/N smirked, slowly walking past Lindsey, pausing, waiting for the midfielder to acknowledge her. Once Lindsey looked up, cocking her head to the side, she continued, “or do you need me to walk by again?” Y/N winked, giving a slow, dramatic strut past.

Several players rolled their eyes, some boo’ing, while others squirted Y/N with water. Lindsey just rolled her eyes, fighting a smirk, “come on, let’s pass,” she reached a handout for Y/N to help tug her up.

Y/N grasped the offered hand, tugging Lindsey to a standing position. Lindsey, not expecting Y/N to actually pull her up, pushed herself up at the same time, crashing her body into Y/N’s.

“If you wanted to feel me up, you just had to ask,” Y/N smirked, hands on either of Lindsey’s hips to help steady her.

“You gotta buy me dinner first for that,” Lindsey gave Y/N a gentle shove to the chest before jogging away, tapping a ball with her.

“Yea?” Y/N hesitated, biting her lip, watching the blonde to see if she was serious or not. The friends had such a flirtatious relationship, the lines between friends and more had been blurred, were blurred. Hands would wander, hugs lingered, eyes always finding each other in crowded rooms. Y/N was the first person Lindsey would seek out when she needed to talk about something, needed comfort, or just needed to hear Y/N’s voice.

Anyone watching the two women could easily interpret the interactions would assume the friends were a couple. But they weren’t. The concept of a romantic relationship had never been discussed. Y/N had been working to feel out if it was more than harmless flirting for Lindsey, like it was for herself. But their friendship had been like this for so long, Y/N didn’t know how Lindsey felt.

Y/N knew how she felt, how she couldn’t help be drawn to Lindsey, and would be more than willing maintain the friendship as long as it meant she still got to be with the midfielder. Worried if Lindsey knew the true intention behind Y/N’s flirting it would push her away.

Y/N was brought out of her musings when Lindsey flipped a ball into her stomach.

“We playing or not you weirdo?” Lindsey smirked.

“Oh yea,” Y/N kicked the ball back, still only half paying attention. Her thoughts still on her feelings for the blonde, distracted by Lindsey implying she might want to go for dinner with Y/N, “so you, me, dinner. Then you can feel me up as much as you want,” the soccer player smirked, but her eyes critically watching the midfielder.

Lindsey scoffed, rolling her eyes, “What, like a date?” thinking it was a joke, laughed, juggling the ball a few times before passing it back, “like I would ever date you,” she continued to laugh alone.

Y/N felt her entire body heat up. Lindsey thought it was a joke. A joke they would ever date. That she was a joke, the concept of them as a joke, “hey, I was just trying to give you free access to touch all this,” she awkwardly motioned the length of her body, “your loss, “she tried to play it off, hoping her voice sounded more nonchalant than it really felt.

Thankfully, Y/N was saved from having to hear what Lindsey would say or do by practicing beginning.

For the next two hours, it was Y/N could do to avoid Lindsey. Switching lines for drills, have to re-tie her cleats several times, even requesting more work with the defenders to avoid all the midfielders. Everyone gave Y/N strange looks when she darted away at the water break and Lindsey reached out to touch a bruise forming on Y/N’s leg.

Somehow, Y/N managed to avoid the team for the next two days. Arriving just on time to meetings, meals, and practices. Leaving as soon as she could. She spent two days putting in extra workouts, extra training, or just wandering the mall. Anything that would keep her put of the hotel and away from the team. She was only trying to avoid the blonde, but she knew it was near impossible to avoid one person in the close group of women.

“Y/L/N!” one of the media coordinators called her as she tried to rush out of another meeting on the third day, “you and Mewis are up for media, let’s go.”

“Fuck” Y/N mumbled, slowly turning around to follow the media person.

“Don’t sound so excited!” Kristie slung an arm across Y/N’s shoulders, “we’re both hot, funny, and supposedly really good at soccer. We are a triple threat!” she tugged Y/N to a stop to jump on her back for a piggy back ride, “we get stuck, just flex these guns,” Kristie teasingly squeezed Y/N’s arms, “and they’ll all be so distracted we can just run away.”

That drew a genuine laugh from the soccer player, she tightened her hold under the blondes’ legs and carried her into the media room.

The media team all laughed as the pair walked in, Kristie having wrapped her legs around Y/N’s waist and around her shoulders., holding so tightly Y/N didn’t need to hold her. Looking similar to koala on a branch.

“USWNT presents ‘Koala or Kristie’. Where we show you a picture and you decide if it’s a koala or a Kristie,” Y/N announced to the media staff as she turned so Kristie could let go and drop right into the chair. When Kristie didn’t let go right away, Y/N reached behind her and began tickling the blonde until her grip let go and she fell into the chair.

The staff all laughed at the pairs antics, “you guys are already live,” one called while the two finished settling into the chairs, handing a phone over so they could read the questions being sent in.

Y/N smirked while she scrolled through the comments, letting Kristie introduce them and officially start their session.

“Alright Y/N/N,” Kristie leaned into Y/N’s side to attempt to read the phone and choose a question, “start off with a good one.”

“I have one of my own before I get to the fan ones,” Y/N giggled, grinning at the blonde while she tugged the phone away, “do you think you have the right koala-fications?”

Kristie stared at Y/N before glancing to the media staff behind the camera, “I think I’m busy today guys, I am available when I can do this with anyone else.”

Y/N maintained a serious expression, “that answers that, Kristie Mewis does not have the right koala-fications,” she began scrolling through the phone looking for a real fan question while Kristie turned and mock gasped at Y/N, “if I could play any other sport professionally, I would be a basketball player,” she continued on, ignoring Kristie staring at her.

Y/N deliberately focused on the phone, waiting for Kristie to say anything, her serious expression slipping and a smirk cracking through.

Kristie shook her head, “no way you could be a basketball player, you’re way too short,” she held a hand up next to her, drastically exaggerating Y/N’s height.

“But I’ve got mad hops, and big feet!” Y/N put her hands under her knee and lifted her leg, so her foot was in view of the camera.

“That just means you have big feet, not that it will make you a good basketball player,” Kristie laughed, pushing Y/N’s foot away from her.

“My mom said I’ll grow into them, there’s still a chance,” Y/N shrugged her shoulders. She knew she wouldn’t get any taller, but it was fun working Kristie up.

“You’re 28, you’re not growing into your feet at this point,” Kristie rolled her eyes, shaking her head, “read a question!”

Much of their live session went that way, very few questions being answered. The friends easily distracted, telling stories or just bantering, forgetting the camera was there entirely.

By the end of the say, the video had been picked apart, screenshots were made, and new a secret couple was formed.

Y/N had gone back to avoiding the team, her thoughts even more jumbled now that everyone assumed she was with Kristie. She didn’t have feelings for Kristie, she loved her like a friend and loved their easy going dynamic, but it would never be anything more that. And she knew Kristie felt the same.

“You’re avoiding me,” Lindsey said as greeting when Y/N walked into her room the next day.

“Fuck!” Y/N stepped back into the closed door, her body crashing against it, “what the fuck Lindsey?” she stomped further into the room.

“You’re avoiding me,” Lindsey repeated, sitting in a chair in the corning, watching Y/N move around the room.

“I’m not avoiding you,” Y/N continued to rummage around the room, mindlessly moving things around in order to look busy, “how’d you get into my room?”

“Kicked your rookie out, convinced the poor kid medical needed to redo their testing,” she answered quickly, “you’re avoiding me,” she said it a third time.

“I’m not avoiding you,” Y/N began to refold her suitcase to keep her hands busy and continue to avoid looking at the blonde critically staring at her, “but just to clarify, if I was, you thought the solution was to corner me in my room?”

“Is this because of practice the other day?” Lindsey pushed out of the chair and closed the distance between them, “because I know I’ve felt you up for less than dinner before,” she chuckled softly, stepping close, pressing her body against y/N’s placing a handout to land low on Y/N’s hip.

Y/N abruptly dropped the shirt she was folding and took two large steps away from Lindsey, “Fuck Lindsey, it’s not always about you. I’m not avoiding you. I haven’t hung out with anyone else,” she snapped, her jaw clenching while she stared hard at Lindsey.

Lindsey stared wide eyed at the sudden outburst before gathering herself, snapping back, “yet, Kristie gets to hang all over you.”

“You hang all over me all the time Lindsey, it’s the same thing. Besides, it was for the live thing we did,” Y/N didn’t know what she was so angry all of a sudden. She was avoiding Lindsey and Lindsey was just calling her out on the immature behaviour. Y/N really didn’t understand why she was upset, Lindsey had a right to confront her avoidance. Y/N was the one that had decided to pull away when it seemed Lindsey didn’t see their friendship as anything more. But what Y/N really didn’t understand, was why Lindsey was so upset about Kristie being on her.  

Lindsey knew why she was upset. She had spent the last two days always just missing Y/N and had replayed all their interactions before Y/N seemingly disappeared. The only thing she could come up with when she joked about them going out and shooting down Y/N’s dinner invite. Then she watched the live session Y/N did with Kristie, a few other players planning on throwing in their own obscure questions. The feeling she got in her chest watching Y/N carry Kristie in was a feeling she couldn’t place; she’d never felt it before.

Jealously was what Alex said.

Longing was what Kelley said.

Infatuation was what Rose said.

Gross was what Sam said, thinking it was directed at her sister.

Realization was what Sonnett said.

She sat silent the entire time, that feeling growing throughout. She ruminated on what her friends. None of the words fit, yet, they all fit. That was the problem, they all fit. She was realizing her feelings for Y/N. She was infatuated with how effortlessly funny she was. Longed to be the one Y/N was making smile the way she was making Kristie smile. And she jealous Kristie got to be the one Y/N was with while she had been avoided for two days.

So, Lindsey knew why she was upset. She was frustrated at herself because she wanted to tell Y/N how she felt but she couldn’t get the words out. Could only make a joke that didn’t end up being a great joke because now Y/N was upset too.

“Get over yourself Lindsey. You don’t get a say in who hangs on me and who doesn’t,” Y/N said, her voice had started firm, but sounded defeated by the end. She looked down before shuffling back to the bed to resume folding her clothes.

“But what if I did?” Lindsey rushed out, crinkling her face at how that sounded, implying Y/N was something someone controlled, “fuck, that came out wrong! I meant, I want hang all over you and you to hang all over me. And dinner, so I can feel you up. And I don’t want you avoiding me anymore.”

Y/N’s hands paused while she folder her shirt, before continuing, her eyes never leaving the shirt, “Lindsey, you don’t get to come in here pissed at me because you got jealous, then expect things to be alright.”

“I don’t want that or expect that! Yes, I got so jealous when I saw you and Kristie together and I didn’t even understand what it meant. But then I figured it out, I wanted all our banter and jokes about being together to be real. I don’t want to call you at the end of bad day, because I won’t have to because you’ll be in the bed next to me,” Lindsey saw Y/N’s hands stop moving and the shirt slip back on top of the suit case, Y/N’s arms dropping to her side, but she still wouldn’t look up.  

Lindsey took a tentative step closer, not wanting to spook the girl away like she had initially.

“I want it all to be real. I want everything we had a couple days ago again, but I want it to be real and more. I want this gross longing feeling to stop because I have you again,” taking a risk, she gently held Y/N’s hand and giving it a squeeze.

Y/N squeezed back before letting go, “Linds, just because you got jealous doesn’t me this is what you want. You like the idea of me, you don’t like me. And we can try and go back to how it was before, but my feelings are real, Lindsey, I know how I feel about you.”

“My feelings are real too!” Lindsey gripped Y/N’s hand again, tight, “this isn’t just me being jealous, watching you with Kristie was just what I needed to realize that I was just too scared to admit how I felt about you. I know how I feel about you,” she finished with conviction, reaching for other hand and squeezed both tight.

“Ok,” Y/N nodded, seeing the sincerity on Lindsey’s face.

“Ok?”

Lindsey was confused, she poured her heart out and she gets is ok?

“I don’t know your feelings Linds, but I trust you, and if you say they are real, then they’re real,” she smiled.

“So, can I take you for dinner?” Lindsey asked, still shy even though she knew the answer would be yes.

“And you can feel me up all you want after.”

[weirdthingskid]

The Post Where I Actually Explain the DM Tangled AU, Part 2

The cops are the royal guards

However, Chief isn’t the captain (since he takes the role of Maximus), Old/Evil Mayor is

Chief is the most trusted guard, both by the public and by the queen

Knight and Greg were great guards too, albeit the former is dumb like in canon

At some point, Greg in particular crosses paths with Li’l Petey, who has a different name

They don’t meet for very long, but it’s long enough that they somewhat recognize each other when DM crashes into the tower...

On LP’s side, he had lived with Flippy and the 22 tadpoles, before volunteering for a little project hosted by the FLEAS

Said “project” was just testing their (read: Piggy’s) various inventions, with the last one being a cannon that accidentally-kinda-on-purpose shot him off to parts unknown

(Note: if you didn’t read the first part, LP was thrown into the tower where Petey was being held hostage hidden - and yes, he does change his name at some point)

Okay now back to Dog Man

When both Knight and Greg get hurt in an explosion (Knight with a useless head, Greg with a useless body, like in canon), it’s ultimately Nurse Lady that comes up with a solution

The doctors were worried that cutting off Greg’s head would kill him, and even if it didn’t, the stitches wouldn’t work

Nurse Lady is a magic user, so she enchants the stitches to preserve his life

So now DM’s technically magic but he can’t use it

Over the next few months, he dutifully defends the kingdom, which the citizens praise him for

However, when he’s not saving Collardale, he’s getting in trouble (courtesy of Evil Mayor and Chief) for rolling in trash or sleeping on the job again

So I have two ideas for how Dog Man could be Flynn (bc let’s face it, he’d never steal the crown on purpose, below the break or it would get too long)

Idea One

Evil Mayor reluctantly gives Dog Man the job of going around the castle delivering/picking up stuff, like a mail carrier

He’s given a satchel to hold the stuff (this satchel will NOT come in handy later)

One thing he’s told to get is a can of living spray in the treasury

Said treasury contains many other trinkets, like the queen’s personal ukulele, various other sprays, and the lost prince’s crown (which is so priceless it’s guarded by two royal guards, one of which is named Maude)

Anyway, Dog Man gets the spray, but has to hightail it right out of the room at the mean cops’ insistence

He trips, accidentally spraying the crown to life

The now-living crown gets off its post and climbs into the satchel

Dog Man notices what just happened and runs right out of the treasury

The mean cops follow in hot pursuit, getting other guards (including Chief) to stop the “thief”

So now it’s everyone vs. Dog Man

Cue wild chase

Idea Two

Everyone’s preparing for the lost prince’s 25th birthday Before you ask yeah I decided Petey would be 24/25 here. Also they’re preparing in the first part too

The guards (except an MIA Dog Man) are informed by either the mean cops or the queen that Petey's crown is gone

Of course, they go searching, but the two mean cops look into the treasury. All signs point to Dog Man being the thief, footprints and whatnot

In reality, he had not taken the crown, the real thieves framed him (a la Brawl of the Wild)

Dog Man had been purchasing some bones that were on sale while all this was going on

The thieves somehow get the crown into a bag that he was carrying?

A few minutes later, the mean cops accuse him of stealing the crown

Dog Man’s all “I did not” and empties his bag to prove it, only for the crown to fall out

The two cops call for backup

So now it’s everyone vs. Dog Man

Cue wild chase

And finally, just for fun, how DM got in the tower in the first place:

After finding the tower, he decides to try and find a way in to catch his breath, hide for a little bit, all that jazz

Unfortunately touching the tower itself shocks you (or DM just doesn’t want to climb seventy-some feet)

There’s a nearby tree, so he climbs up to the closest branch to the window

He uses a string to tie a couple bones (either from idea two or somewhere else) together, and another string is tied to the top of one bone, so it looks like his Bark Knight weapon with a knot on top

The top string is then tied to a higher branch; essentially he makes it like a swing

Pls don’t ask about that complicated plan

Using the contraption, Dog Man intends to swing into the open window

Instead, he goes above the window (missing it entirely) and crashes directly into the roof

Don’t worry, he’s okay for the next few minutes

He explores the tower for a bit, going into different rooms, wondering who lives in such a place

Suddenly he gets knocked unconscious with a frying pan, courtesy of a six-foot cat.

[foundationsoftheslay]

hello can i please have your finest kobra kid facts/headcannons/anything you want to talk about

i will love anything you have to say!!

abso fuckin LUTELY

that boy is determined. like to do literally anything. he doesn't care if he's burnt out he will make a flower crown for the girl whatever it takes

poison covers his eyes a lot if he's driving his motorbike and they're on with him. he knows they're fucking around so he let's them do it even if he absolutely hates it

yes, they did crash into a cactus one time. was not fun for them

speaking of his motorbike, he named his motorbike "josie"

he dyed his hair silver one time just to test it out. in all honesty? he liked it but he wouldn't go back to it

cuddle bug

desert animals fascinate him to no end. he could sit and stare at an animal basking in the sun and analyze its every feature for hours, wondering, what's it doing and why's it doing it? for hours and he'd never get bored. animals are the coolest fucking thing to him and he'll learn whatever he can about them given the chance

gives ghoul piggy back rides

dr. d has plenty of records from back before the helium wars, and every 'joy out in the zones loves listening to them; kobra's absolutely no exception. his favorite artists from records that he's listened to are: the smashing pumpkins, metallica, david bowie, and queen. he also shares a liking for led zeppelin with jet, but jet likes them a little more than he does.

he has heterochromia (look up mikey's eyes; there's a lil brown patch in his right eye)

seriously. a cuddle bug

he has lots of scars that he will not explain to anyone. his scar stories are between him and the witch.

if i haven't mentioned it already then i'll mention it now, kobra does believe in the phoenix witch. if i have mentioned it already then oops

he fidgets with hands a lot, but they're never his own, always someone else's. if he's fidgeting with anyone's hands it's most likely poison's hands

kobra can draw really well, but he keeps his work to himself, only showing people he's close to upon request. he does a lot of art with the girl, though, and that's the only work of his that he'll show to anyone at all, but only because he did it with her and he's super proud of her when it comes to anything and it's like he's such a proud dad showing others art he did with the girl

his birth name was apollo

always stays up for cherri's poem readings on the radio. they help him wind down to sleep, and they also give him something to think about in his free time, whenever he has any

did i mention that he's the absolute biggest cuddle bug in the entirety of the zones and even battery city? i did? oh sorry

kobra loves going to zonecerts (zone concerts) and he will headbang and jump up and down until he has to fight to stay standing and keep his head up

although he's from the city, kobra picked up on killjoy slang incredibly easily and uses it as if it's a second language. he pretends it's just because it's fun to say - which, it is, but that's not the reason why. the reason why is because he doesn't want to be who he was. he wants to be the kobra kid, not the crow-in-training he was in the city. running away from his old self came with changing his vocabulary, which he did no problem. (poison, however, still struggles with picking up on 'joy slang. it's because they lived in the city longer than their sibling, and it's harder for them to escape their city roots, as much as they hate that fact.)

[gaia-cove]

Name: Sienna Adams Gender pronouns: she/her Age: 32 Occupation: Wedding dress designer Hometown: Cardiff, Wales Amount of time on the island: 3 months Face Claim: Jenna Coleman

Bio: (Triggers: death, pregnancy, divorce )

Sienna Adams had it all, until the day she lost everything, but to make sense of everything that happened we should probably start from the beginning. Born in Cardiff, Wales, she never really got to know her hometown before her family moved to London instead when the girl was only two years old. So actually she considers herself to be a London girl at heart, never growing up with the accent that Cardiff would have given her she instead sounded entirely southern. The middle child she has an older sister as well as a younger brother - piggy in the middle - except she never felt like she had any kind of middle child syndrome. If anything the Adams’ children were lucky to gel pretty well all together despite their differences as well as the age gap between them. Sienna was never exceptional at school but she did what she had to do to get by, always popular thanks to being tall, slim, pretty, and charismatic she was lucky enough to sail through with a solid group of friends by her side. At sixteen she changed schools to attend the College of Fine Art because without a shadow of a doubt art was her favourite subject, not to mention the one she was best at. It was on the understanding that once she’d done her two years of focused art tuition she would go to university to study something more ‘sensible’ and making the deal with her parents the whole family were delighted when at seventeen Sienna was accepted into the University of East Anglia to study Journalism. Everything seemed to be going so smoothly, with the odd hiccup here and there in the shape of messy breakups with high school boyfriends and the tattoo she got on her sixteenth birthday without telling her parents, and to most outsiders the Adams family were a solid unit who wouldn’t be shaken by anything because no matter what they would be united in it. 

Sienna had been away at university hundreds of miles away from London when she got the news of her parents car crash, everything seeming to dissolve in a matter of seconds. Racing back to the capital so she could be with her siblings the three of them processed their grief in their own ways but Sienna was steadfastly there for them both regardless. Even when Rhiannon became distant as a way of dealing with what had happened the younger sister still stood by her so that anytime she asked for a helping had she was there to give it to her without question. Losing her parents left a hole in Sienna she wasn’t sure how to fill for a while, choosing to throw herself into her journalism degree with a passion since for her to do it was what she saw as their last wish. It was the best way to honour the people who she loved more than anything. Despite being born of pain the outcome actually stood her in stead because straight out of her three years of university she was hired by a top London magazine from the Conde Nast group. Sure, it wasn’t The New Yorker which was the publication she dreamed of writing for, but her position as a junior assistant at Vanity Fair was nothing to sniff at. It was actually this turn of events that showed the woman she could combine her love of art and journalism at the same time, happily climbing the ranks at the magazine while learning as much as she could about fashion. Specifically drawn to wedding dress styles and fashions, as they changed and evolved. 

She started to toy with designing her own wedding dresses from the age of twenty seven, sketching them up before making a couple of the designs up herself, even if it was a painstakingly slow process that resulted in a lot of broken sewing machine needles and frustrations. When her older sister asked her to design her wedding dress however was when a big step was taken by Sienna and she fully embraced a change in career. She went from working at Vanity Fair to a couple of years later having one of her designs featured in the publication, the tides had truly turned and she’d found what she was meant to be doing with her life. Another big change in her life was when she met the man who was destined to be her husband in a bar on a work night out, not expecting anything from their little flirtation, he went on to surprise her and the two became close. Fast. Before Sienna Adams knew what was happening she was wearing a large diamond ring on her left hand and was designing her own wedding dress to wear. There might have been a huge gap where her parents should have been that day but otherwise it was the happiest day of her life because she was getting to pledge the rest of her life to the man she loved. The next step? For them to have a family. A year and a half ago along with a nasty bout of morning sickness the couple found out they were expecting their first baby together, a little boy they decided to call Freddie. If anything the pregnancy was too smooth and Sienna should have suspected something bad was coming her way but she didn’t, instead she was smug in her #blessed situation. It was nauseating to many of her friends who were going through rough pregnancy experiences of their own. 

Then for the second time in her life the woman was smacked in the face by unforeseen tragedy, and this time it changed the course of her life forever. On August 13th 2020, Freddie Carson was born at The Portland Hospital in London after a thirty two hour labor that had truly tested his mother’s ability to cope, but that didn’t matter because he was her beautiful baby boy and he was finally here. Then everything started to happen impossibly fast but in slow motion at the same time. Her little boy managed to cling onto life for only seven minutes before he passed away in his mother’s arms and it was the day Sienna Adam’s finally broke. The following weeks she barely spoke, literally propped up by her family to get through the funeral, her husband and herself rapidly drifted apart. Within six months he was filing for divorce from his wife thanks to a relationship that had entirely broken apart. Gone from something so loving to a cacophony of bickering and fighting the man couldn’t see any way back. His wife was no longer the woman he’d married and the heartbreak they had endured was apparently just too much for their relationship to withstand. Sienna felt like she had nothing left and it brought on a creative block when it came to her designing, too painful to be creating dresses for the happiest day in a woman’s life when she felt like all the joy had been sucked out of her own.

It was on a trip to visit her sister and extended family in Gaia Cove that it was suggested by Rhiannon she separate herself from the things she had lost in London and instead put down roots in the Californian town surrounded by her family. With nothing to go home to the woman agreed, which was how she found herself living in Glen Ellen and working at the Castillo’s wine bar as the manager until she found the inspiration within herself to go back to designing. She was trying, her entire apartment was covered in half finished sketches, but nothing seemed to be flowing properly. Nothing seemed to be coming together. Despite being a shadow of her former self to anyone who knew Sienna before she was hit with a plethora of heartache the woman is still a bubbly, sweet person who is desperately trying to move past the events of her past. Every so often she will be pulled back by bouts of depression, even if she is on medication that is meant to help, occasionally the pain is just too much for her to cope with. Resorting back to some unhealthy coping mechanisms she will look for comfort in food, alcohol, or even drugs. Although nothing harder than weed if truth be told, which she occasionally enjoys with her big sister at some of their more ‘grown up’ sleepovers. All Sienna wants is to find a way to be defined by who she is and not what she’s been through, but when grief is eating away at you at every turn it’s sometimes hard to find a way. 

Sienna is played by Indi

[talkfastromance4]

Ghost of Me-- Luke&Lily oneshot

Yeah, um. Lie to me and Ghost of You came on while I was driving and this is....what happened. I’m sorry.

Word count: 2705

donate to my ko-fi here :)

Masterlist

Luke&Lily masterlist

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

• • • •

Luke enters his house solemnly, his shoulders are hunched over as he tosses his bags at the end of the couch. He examines the room and a year and a half ago, it would be like nothing’s changed. But a lot can change in three months.

Three months he’s been gone on a short leg of tour and while he’s left before, this one hit him harder. He greets Petunia half-heartedly as he walks down the hall, and he peeks inside her room and his heart stops.

Lily’s toys are gone. Her bed is stripped. The whole room is empty. 

Like a wave, the fight you and him had crashed into him. He shut the door and went to fall onto his bed, subconsciously he fell on your side and he could still smell the faint scent of your lotion. Your words and his words swarm in his head.

He remembers thinking that he got this right, leaving you and Lily but then coming right back picking up where you left off. But the more frequent it was that he left, the harder it became. He began to distance himself from you right before this mini three month tour began.

You fought so hard for all three of you and all Luke did was give you and Lily a kiss as he left for the airport. No I love you, no promise of calling.

No calls. No texts. No photos or videos were exchanged within those three months. It was radio silence as Luke went through the motions of performing and doing interviews. He was a ghost of himself and the guys tried to help and talk with him but he isolated himself. He’s good at that. 

So he shouldn’t really be all that surprised that you and Lily weren’t here waiting for him with open arms as if all is forgiven. It cuts through him like a branded serrated knife. 

It’s three a.m and the moonlight’s testing him as he sits at his piano. The ivory’s shine from the glow of the moon and memories of him playing Lily’s Lullaby while you held her in her arms swim in his head. Sometimes Lily gets so tired she fights sleep, and even though you’re usually good at getting her to sleep, it still renders difficulty.

Combined with your calming rocking and Luke’s voice singing to her, she’d fall asleep within seconds, bunny clutched under her chin. 

To drown out the memories, he takes a shot of tequila he has on the piano ledge and fills it up once more from the bottle. His phone buzzes and he’s reminded yet again of what he’s lost.

You and Lily’s smiling faces smile back at him and he scrolls through the album he’s created of his girls. Well, not his girls anymore. 

Lily’s shouts for you wake you from an already restful slumber. You haven’t been sleeping all that well since Luke left for the tour. It pained your heart but his hesitancy before he went away was answer enough that the relationship couldn’t continue. 

It took three days without contact for you to finally gather the courage to gather all of yours and Lily’s things and bring them back to your townhouse. It was still yours even though you’d moved in with Luke and you’re thankful the mortgage was already paid off on it because you had somewhere to run back to. 

“Hey, shh, it’s okay honey,” you hush to Lily lifting her from her crib. She’s crying slightly as she squeezes your neck in a vice grip. “Did you have a bad dream?”

“Lu,” she cries and your breath catches.

Even though she wakes like this every night, it still puts you in shock at just how much she misses him too. It breaks your heart but he made his choice. You hadn’t expected him to suddenly be a blue suit guy who works a 9-5 job and become a family man, but you also hadn’t expected him to get cold feet a year and a half in the relationship. You also hadn’t expected him to ghost you.

“I know baby, I miss Lu, too,” you sniff patting her back.

“Lu sing,” she sniffs.

Another pained twist to your heart. You gathered her snuffy and shuffled back to your bedroom. You connected your phone to the speaker and selected her song from the album Luke made for her. 

While his voice crooned her to sleep and her breathing slowed, you cried silently into your pillow as you listened to his voice. 

You ached for Luke, and each night having to play this for Lily made it even worse. 

****

It’s day three of being home alone and Luke’s been avoiding the living room like the plague. It’s where Lily would always dance along to the Disney movie she’d be watching and more often than not, Luke would dance with her. 

When she’d be tucked in bed he’d pull you against his chest and dance with you while he sang softly in your ear. 

Dancing through our house with the ghost of you never rang more true. 

Luke has taken a shower twice a day since he’s been home. The water is scalding as if he thinks it will rub away his sadness and this continued ache for you and Lily. He stands below the water, letting it trickle over him but he finds no relief. 

Lily’s giggles and squeals echo in his mind wherever he goes in his house. Her sitting in her high chair feeding Petunia. How she’d climb onto his piano bench and press her tiny fingers to the keys thinking she was playing music. How she’d try to climb up into his bed to cuddle with you and him.

The memories were eating away at him, tormenting him more and more by the second. 

All he had to do was call. Find your name (that still had the two pink hearts next to it) and press it. 

But would you really pick up? He was an ass, he knows he was, so how can he fix this?

Ashton has tried calling, and so have Calum and Michael but Luke chooses to wallow in his own pity that he created. He dug this hole, now he’s got to be buried in it.

On Thursday evening he’s got some movie on just for background noise and he stares blankly at the screen. He recognizes Adam Sandler but he doesn’t know what the plot is when there’s a knock and a ring at his door. 

Jumping to his feet thinking it’s you and Lily, he races to it and has to push piggy away. He’s shocked when he sees Cory standing there, hands in his pockets. 

“Hey man, can I come in?” 

Luke stares for another moment before he’s nodding and steps aside. What’s he doing here?

“Um, can I get you a drink?” Luke asks a bit awkwardly. It’s not that he and Cory don’t get along, they do pretty well. Cory’s come to some of the Friends of Friends shows and to some of the cookouts Ashton or Calum have. 

“Nah, I’m good. Uh,” Cory turns around rubbing the back of his neck. “How are you doing since they left?”

“I haven’t left, if that answers your question,” Luke sighs. 

“Look, I sort of know what happened. Y/N told me after she and Lily moved back to the townhouse but take it from me, don’t let them go. I let them go once and I’m so thankful Y/N let me in Lily’s life. Don’t make the same mistake I did.”

“Has she . . . said anything else? About me?”

“They miss you like crazy. Lily asks for you all the time, she never goes anywhere without her bunny. I mean, she didn’t before, but if it’s out of her hands for half a second she throws a fit. Y/N says she wakes up every night crying for you,” Cory tells him quietly.

Luke’s eyes sting with tears and he covers his escaped sob by a cough. That little known fact cuts deep. He clears his throat before he looks back up at Cory expecting to see pity but he sees understanding in his eyes. Lily’s eyes. Luke’s never noticed that before. 

“Why are you telling me this? I know how you still feel about Y/N--”

“Because I know how much she loves and misses you, too. I’ll always love Y/N, we have a history and a good friendship but she’s in love with you, Luke. And I’m okay with that because I still have her and Lily in my life. I like you too,” Cory laughs, “and how you look right now is what I looked like for over a year before I saw them again. Lily’s only been coming by me on Friday’s for the last couple months. Y/N will be home alone tomorrow.”

Luke’s nodding to everything he says. 

“Do you think she’ll take me back?”

“I don’t think . . . I know she will.”

Cory walks to the front door and Luke follows behind. 

“Hey Cory,” Luke says and Cory turns. He holds out his hand. “Thanks for coming by.”

“No problem,” Cory smiles, shaking his hand and opens the door. “I expect to see the both of you at my place picking up Lily.”

****

It’s a light drizzle as Luke drives to your house, he’s tapping the steering wheel nervously. He hopes Cory is right and that you’re home. He hopes you’ll let him in and accept his forgiveness. When he pulls to the curb he sits for a couple moments trying to gather his breathing and relax his heart. When neither works, he gets out and that’s when it starts pouring.

He hopes this isn’t a sign of what’s to come.

He runs up the walkway to your door, cold rain pelting him as he bangs on the door and presses the doorbell frantically. The light above the door flickers on and he sees you through the curtains of the small window on the door.

For a moment you just stare at each other, your eyes wide in shock before you wrench it open. 

“Luke.”

When you say his name he doesn’t even think before he’s colliding his lips to yours, bodies crashing together. You react all too willingly, pulling him inside by the lapel of his leather jacket. He kicks the door shut behind him, locking it in his wake and you take that opportunity to peel his jacket off him. 

It’s tossed to the floor in a wet heap and Luke’s hands are on your waist bunching up your shirt. Lips moving furiously together, he pushes you against the wall spreading your legs open with his thigh. You moan quietly and Luke breaks the kiss only to lift your shirt up and off. 

His piercing blue eyes stare into yours as his thumb traces your lips prying them open so he can slip his tongue inside. You close your eyes and moan at the all too familiar feeling, your fingers working on the button of his jeans.

Luke pulls you away from the wall so he can make his way to your bedroom. You bang against the hallway walls like a pinball, clothes getting discarded along the way. Lips never leaving lips.

When you’re finally on your bed, Luke hovers over you, his necklaces dangling in front of your face. You comb his wet curls away from his face staring up at him and he stares back, your breathing is heavy. You’ve missed him so much and he’s finally here.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers bending his neck down to give you a soft kiss.

“I know,” you murmur curling his hair behind his ears. You stroke your finger down his nose, trace his cupid’s bow and caress his cheek. “I’m sorry I left.”

He collides his lips with yours again and you both scramble to get the blanket over his body, the rain was cold and he’s wet so you didn’t want him to catch a cold. Luke pushes himself into you, you both groan at the stretch of him attempting going in dry. 

But you’re both so desperate for each other, you couldn’t wait for foreplay. Luke held his cock at the base, head down as he concentrated on sliding into you. He rubbed his tip against your folds, hitting your clit and it caused you to moan which aroused you. 

“C’mon, c’mon, c’mon lovie,” he pants with each attempted thrust until he finally slides all the way in. Both of you moan at being joined together once again, your nails dig into his shoulders as he pulls out and enters you again. 

“Oh yes, Luke,” you sigh, closing your eyes at each pull. 

He finds a steady rhythm, gliding and pulling with ease. His left hand is near your head while his right holds onto your stomach as he fucks into you. You’re both moaning and sighing as he accelerates, you open your legs wider so you can cross your ankles on his lower back. You aid him to go faster by pushing on his back and thrusting your hips up into his. 

Luke sucks on your neck and kisses the base of your throat until you’re gasping out your first orgasm. He hums along with you.

“Fuck, Y/N, always feels so good,” he breathes and attempts to kiss you.

Your bodies rock and jolt so it makes kissing difficult but you can feel the love there. Luke rotates his hips and somehow speeds up even more until he groans and pulsates inside you. You feel his warmth seep into you and you gasp at the feeling, tugging on his hair to bring his lips back up to yours. 

After you both catch your breath and disentangle your sweaty, sticky bodies, he cleans up his mess and is quick to join you in bed. He peppers kisses along your forehead and your chest, anywhere he can mumbling ‘I love you.’

And because you both know each other so well, you don’t have to discuss what happened. It just did, it was a small bump in the road but you’re okay now. You will continue to be okay but when Luke told you “I want you and Lily in my life forever” you couldn’t deny the elation you felt from the finality of his statement. 

****

You stayed up most of the night talking, kissing and touching. You were getting familiar with each other again and after you spent the first half of the day in bed making love, it was time to get Lily. 

Luke is just as nervous as he was the first time he was going to meet Lily. His knee was bouncing in the seat as you drove to Cory’s house and you reached over to still it. 

“She’s going to be ecstatic, baby, trust me,” you smile at him. 

As you pull into the driveway, the door is already open and Cory smiles when he sees Luke in the car. Lily is in his arms and Cory points just as you and Luke get out of the car.

“LU!” Lily exclaims and wriggles from Cory’s grip. 

She runs as fast as she can, giggling and squealing as she does and Luke runs to her as well. He scoops her up in his arms, cradling her head as she hugs him tightly and he does the same. 

“Oh my sweet, I’ve missed you . . . hi my sweet girl,” he sighs, closing his eyes, finally feeling like his heart is whole again by having this little girl in his arms again.

“Dada, dada, dada!” she rambles and Luke opens his eyes in alarm. 

Cory nods at Luke as if to say it’s okay and he moves to console you, you’re crying at the reunion. 

“I love you so much, Lily,” Luke says and kisses her head multiple times. She pulls back and he wipes away the wetness on her chubby cheeks. 

“Dada stay?”

“Yeah, dada’s staying,” he smiles and kisses her nose. She hugs him tightly again and you join in on the hug. You’re all put back together again.

• • • •

Copyright talkfastromance4 © All works is intellectual property of the author. All rights reserved. Any redistribution or reproduction or any part or all contents in any form is prohibited. You may not, without written expression and consent from the author, distribute works amongst other social media platforms

Taglist: @galcalirwin @cashtonasff5sos @wokeupinjapanisabop @myloverboyash  @rotten-kandy @tea4sykes @jannimoeller3 @loveroflrh @iovehemmings @cxddlyash @princesslrh @here-for-the-uproars @katiaw2 @g-l-pierce @fairyintheglass @gosh-im-short @banditocth @dezzym17 @wildflowerxcth @lukeisbaby @spicycal​ (sarah i tagged you cause you’re the only one i told about this lol i hope that’s okay)

[turning-dreams-into-chaos]

The Lie (Part 4)

*Not my Gif*

~The Lie Master~

Post Date: 3-31-20

Paring: Remus Lupin x Reader, James Potter x reader

Word Count: 2.2K

~Master~

~Harry Potter Master~

Let’s go back to the night it all began...

“Gryffindor wins!!” The common room sprung to life as everyone filed in, a high buzz coming from each student after the terrific win you just had. You were still slightly wet from your post shower game as you jumped through the door, clinging onto Remus as he gave you a piggy back ride.

Your voices echo right along with the other Gryffindors and you pump your fist in the air letting Remus drop you off his back. He turned around to face you, grabbing your hips and pulling you into him. Pressing your lips to his, you heard your friends shout a few things like “Kiss her Moony!” And “Y/N’s gonna score something else tonight!”. You flipped them off, secretly hoping they weren’t wrong.

Oh, how bad that turned out.

Remus pulled away, wrapping you in a hug as he shot a death glare at his friends, overlooking the way James had refused to watch your and Remus’ exchange.

Remus frowned when he saw the pile of books Lily had in her arms, remembering how Lily and him promised to join some Hufflepuffs in preparation for tomorrows exam. He pulled away enough to look down at you as you met his eyes, your E/C sparkling as you smiled.

“Come on Remus! I wanna celebrate!” You shouted over the music someone had turned up as Remus felt his heart sink in his chest.

“And I have to study!” Your smile faded away as you looked at him, pouting softly as Remus cupped your face with his hand. “You know how much I’ve been struggling lately.”

You nodded your head knowing that Remus had been in fact not been doing his best in certain subjects. He never outright said anything but you knew it had something to do with you. You felt a bit guilty as you grabbed his hand not holding his face. “Ok, fine. Do you want me to join you? I could keep you company.”

Remus chuckled as he leant down to kiss the top of your head. “Love, I would love you to join me. But we both know you’re the reason Lily and I need to study during the party.” Your eyes went wide as your mouth hung open at Remus finally telling you it was you distracting him. You let out a soft embarrassed chuckle, a nose that made the already eager Remus lean down and capture your lips in another kiss, which you both smiled into. “Don’t worry about it.” He said as he pulled away, pushing a strand of your wet hair out of your eyes. “We can celebrate ourselves tomorrow after our test.”

“Promise?” You asked him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

Remus buried you in his chest with a loving sigh. “Promise. I’d never pass up a day to spend with my gorgeous girlfriend.”

“Rem! You’re so cheesy!” You pulled away, giving Remus a chance to admire the blush creeping on your cheeks before giving you one last kiss and following Lily out of the room.

“I love you!” He shouted back at you as you chuckled, waving at his retreating form.

“I love you, too!”

You took a moment to look around the party next to you. Your friends had all dispersed, Sirius and Marlene had made their way to the back corner, both with cups of whiskey in their hands and Peter was talking to some younger years, trying to get them to put the beer down. James was trying to get a cup of it himself but the girls were messing with him, not letting the boy have any. You chuckled when James failed at acquiring the one thing that was practically everywhere in this room.

You walked on over to him, patting him on the back with a smirk before grabbing not one, but two cups of beer from the girls pouring. James turned to you, expecting you to have passed the other cup to him, but you just stood there drinking from one. “Uh, Y/N?” He questioned.

Your eyes widened, feigning confusion. “Oh, I’m sorry, did you want one?” You stretched out the hand of the cup you’ve been drinking out of as James held back a laugh, reaching forwards to grab the cup you pulled closer to your chest. When you moved it away from him more, he played hurt, trying more and more to grab it before you finally relented, both of you a laughing mess. “Guess It’s just you and me Jamesy.” You smirked at your nickname for him, knowing how much he hates it when you call him that.

James couldn’t help the way his face lit up when you spoke to him. Call it his post game daze or just the fact he never really got over his crush on you, but he didn’t want the feeling to stop.

“Where’s Remus?” He asked stupidly, looking around for his sandy haired friend. You quirked a brow at him, taking a sip of your beer.

“With your girlfriend, like they told us, drowning themselves in charms problems instead of alcohol.” James chuckled at your words, something he found himself doing often. You finished off your cup faster than your thought you would, James not long after as you got a refill.

“James! Y/N! Come on!” You both turned to see the whole quidditch team standing on the furniture, heads above all the rest. James and you only had to exchange one look with your eyes before you were climbing onto the coffee table in front of the couch, sharing it with James and another boy. You all danced to the music in the air, drinking down your beer and whiskey as you tried not to fall off.

You and James, like most of your team had the couch, stayed atop the table dancing and drinking after half the team quit. You were definitely drunk now and it was a real struggle to stay up as Frank and Alice helped you and James down, James being as drunk as you were.

“Ali!” You shouted into the girls ear, throwing your arms around her in a hug and drinking behind her back. James pulled the cup away with a simple no as you pouted at him. He almost took a sip of it before Frank took it out of his hands.

“Alright mate, I think you’ve had enough.” He muttered amusedly at James as he took a glance to his girlfriend, trying to figure out a plan here.

“Just take us to my room.” James grumbled at the couple as your eyes widened, trying to slap James on the arm but only managing to knock the cup out of Franks hand onto the floor with the rest of them.

“Jamesy be nice!” You slurred out before turning to face Alice, or directly to the left of her really. “Thanks you, Aaaaalice.” The Girl laughed as you stretched out her name, giving you an funny look.

They both helped you guys up to James’ room, the charm blocking you and Alice off for tonight and soon you found yourself falling onto James’ bed headfirst. Alice apologized as you just waved your hand in the air, letting her know you were fine.

Frank and Alice left hand in hand as you and James shifted on the bed, sitting next to each other. Your head was spinning by the time you stopped moving, resting it on top of James’ shoulder. He looked down at you, breathing heavily and about to say something before Sirius came busting into the room. You jumped in the air, grabbing James’ arm as Sirius paused seeing you both before he kept moving towards his things and digging around.

You and James shared a look before watching Sirius again. “Pads?” You spoke, hearing him hum his acknowledgment. “What are you looking for?”

His time Sirius didn’t answer verbally, instead he pulled out a whole handful of condoms, dropping them on his bed and grabbing one. You snorted as he smirked at you, glancing at the door and grabbing two more. Leaving to go meet Marlene where he left her, he motioned between the two of you with a condom in hand. “All right, you two be good.”

“Have fun!” James shouted as Sirius flipped him off, letting the door slam behind him. The sound of the wood splitting making you wince. “Y/N?” James said, getting your attention. He was staring off at the foot of his bed. “I’m really bloody drunk.” You both fell into a fits of laughs clinging onto each other. As soon as you could breathe again you snorted once again, an action you only do when your drunk off your ass.

“Me too.” It started a whole new round of laughs, hiccups following suit for you and you felt yourself reach a whole new level of dizziness. You moved to lay down, James moving as well and turning on your side to accommodate you both on the bed.

“You know, I think I’m having more fun with you tonight than I’ve had with Lily our entire relationship.” You opened your eyes, looking at him as if he had 3 heads. And not to help your drunk state, for a second there he sort of did.

“Whhhaaaaat? She’s your girlfriend. You’re crazy Jamesy.” You let your eyes close because quite your brain was beginning to hurt when you think. James looked at your drunken relaxed state, knowing his was in the same. He couldn’t control himself as he tried to push a strand of hair out of your face, only to push you off the bed.

It took you both a second to realize what had happened before James was trying to get off the bed and help you. He kept reaching his hand down, leaning against the wall for support and you stuck your own in the air, flying it around like it was a bird.

James finally got your hand as he pulled you to your feet. The moment you were on your feet though was the moment you were off of them, crashing into James’ chest. He caught you, wrapping his arms around your waist and falling back against the wall to steady you both. Your eyes connected, and you stared into his hazel ones long enough to see them flicker down to your lips. And against your better judgement, you looked to his.

You didn’t know who moved first, you, him, maybe at the same time, but you did know before either of you could form any coherent thoughts, James’ lips were pressed firm against yours and your back was against the wall.

You kissed him back like you needed air to breathe, like it was the only thing that would clear the stupor you found both of you mentally in.

You fell onto the bed with James on top of you, kissing down your neck. Throwing your head back, your fingers found his hair running through them slowly before pulling him away. His face was red and his eyes were wide as they stared down at you, both panting far more than expected. “Condom?” He whispered as you nodded, feeling your brain turning but no thoughts making their way out.

It was like you were on autopilot.

James stumbled off of you, over to where Sirius dumped his stash out and grabbed one. His brain wasn’t working either, all he knew was it was you and him.

And now a condom.

You woke up a while later, by the looks of the darkness filling the windows it was still night and your head was pounding at you every time you moved. You tried to settle into the bed but one thing was bugging you. You opened your eyes, looking around the room before they landed on the not-so-elegant sleeper next to you.

James’ arm was thrown loosely over your waist, seemingly pulling you into him and his bare naked chest felt like a punch in the gut. You yanked the blanket off of you.

You were naked...

You had sex?

Your eyes went wide.

You had sex with... James.

You jumped off the bed, ignoring the groan from the boy as you looked for your clothes.

“Y/N? W-What happened?” James asked with his groggily voice, looking over you to see you throwing your clothes on as quick as you possibly could. His eyes widened as he sat up, pulling the blankets up to find out he was completely naked underneath. You had refused to look at him, moving to grab your shoes and head to the door, forgetting about putting them on in the haze that was this moment. “Y/N?”

Your hand touched the doorknob as you froze, peaking over your shoulder to look at one of your best friends shirtless in his bed. His hair was a mess; your doing. His clothes were thrown at the foot of the bed, some laying on the floor; your doing. But his eyes, his eyes bore into yours, pleading for an answer.

“It was a mistake.” You whispered before heading out the door, slamming it on the way out. James didn’t move as he stared at the doors wood, slightly splintered now because of your slam. His mind was reeling as he tried to remember last night, never getting passed the knowledge of his lips on yours. He groaned falling back on his bed with his eyes closed.

No matter how many times he tried to remember, he couldn’t, always coming back to the same conclusion you had.

It was a mistake.

But he’d be damned if he didn’t admit he hoped it would happen again.

A/N: Hope you liked this! Part 5 is coming at some point! And you know, sorry I don’t write smut so it’s really annoying to read, I know, if literally the chapter (or story) revolves around sex but I hate writing it. Sorry!

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[tabloidtoc]

Globe, May 3

You can buy a brand new copy of this issue without the mailing label for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Prince William and Prince Harry: Showdown at Prince Philip's Funeral

Page 2: Up Front & Personal -- Alec Baldwin, Kathy Ireland, Conan O'Brien grabs lunch in West Hollywood

Page 3: Meg Ryan, Heather Graham, Jon Voight steps out in Beverly Hills

Page 4: Kris Jenner says her role as momager of the Kardashian clan is like being a fireman because she has to put out so many heated squabbles -- satisfying daughters Kourtney Kardashian, Kim Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner takes skill and Kourtney is often so fed up she fires her three or four times a day, but Kris believes she's done a good job, saying she's totally dedicated to her brood and spends oodles of time and energy going the extra mile for them

* Jailed Ghislaine Maxwell is raising a stink over federal lawmen's claims she's a prison piggy, saying the institution's busted sewer pipes, not her toilet habits, are responsible for the overwhelming stench in her cell -- lawyers for sex perv Jeffrey Epstein's accused madam and sex trafficker leveled the charge to flush out prosecutors' claims the socialite's cage stinks like a hog's pen because she doesn't flush her toilet -- her lawyer Bobbi Sternheim insists there was a pervasive stench of sewage in Ms. Maxwell's unit, necessitating guards to flush pipes by pouring water down open drains in an effort to trap and disperse gaseous emissions and at times the stench in Ms. Maxwell's isolation cell has been overwhelming due to overflowing of toilets in the cell block above -- as for Ghislaine flushing, she does it often, at the guards' bidding even, though she doesn't use the commode in her cell due to lack of privacy

Page 5: Kelly Clarkson's tacky tales of pooping in trash cans and other crude antics are grossing out her alarmed pals, who fear divorce stress is pushing the talk queen over the edge and while Kelly has loved to shock people, her cringeworthy behavior has gotten worse since filing for divorce from music manager Brandon Blackstock, father of her daughter River and son Remington -- now Kelly has many fearing she's finally flipped after recently telling talk show guest Clint Black on-air she destroyed a poor trash can by pooping in it during a quick backstage concert break and she's constantly making potty jokes and seems to get a rise out of shocking people and even by Kelly's standards, this was a step too far and people are urging her to scale back on the belching, farting and gross anecdotes because they're a turnoff and make her look trashy and her grueling workload and prickly divorce has manifested in this gross behavior where she can't seem to hold her tongue and blurts out whatever she's thinking without consideration for other people -- other stars like Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton are thinking twice before inviting her to social events and for talk show rivals like Ellen DeGeneres and Drew Barrymore, it's a dream seeing her push the boundaries of taste and Kelly doesn't have a filter and as long as she's got an audience she's just going to keep on doing it

Page 6: Macaulay Culkin is the daddy of a brand-new baby girl named Dakota, who is named after Macaulay's sister who died at 29 in a 2008 car crash, and she was delivered by Macaulay's lover actress Brenda Song

Page 7: Angelina Jolie has become a stressed-out single mom trying to care for her brood of six during the pandemic lockdown, and the strain is is showing on the 98-pound actress, but the 45-year-old, who shuns hiring a full-time nanny, still wants sole custody of her underage kids Pax, Zahara, Shiloh, Knox and Vivienne, and is fighting tooth and nail with ex-husband Brad Pitt to get it; their oldest Maddox Jolie-Pitt is now 19 and considered independent although the university student frequently lives with his mother -- caring for the gang puts a big drain on Angelina's bank account and her custody war with Brad is costing a pretty penny -- Jolie and her children spend most of their time bunkered in a massive 7,500-square-foot Los Feliz mansion that boasts a huge library lined with resource books but the kids need to be separated so they can concentrate on their individual Zoom classes and someone is always hungry or needing help and at the end of the school day, when they are bored, they end up looking for Mom to find them something to do while she is trying to work on her own projects, and like most siblings, the kids fight or argue, and that can test any parent's nerves and Angie is with the kids pretty much 24/7 and it's taking a toll -- there is a glimmer of hope as schools are close to reopening and once the five youngest are back in school for several hours a day it will give Angelina the breaks she needs and hopefully she can hang tight until then

Page 8: Cover Story -- Prince William and Prince Harry bury Prince Philip, but not the ax -- despite their public displays of grief, bitter brothers William and Harry erupted in a raging royal screaming match behind the scenes of their grandfather's Prince Philip's funeral and Princess Diana's sons lashed out, accusing each other of ugly betrayals and destroying the royal family and the princes blamed each other's wives for igniting the family feud and their showdown was explosive and they're refusing to forgive or make peace and any hope Philip's death will end this feud is pie in the sky -- Harry and William were forced to reunite to mark the Duke of Edinburgh's passing and comfort their grandmother Queen Elizabeth, but that doesn't mean they're kissing and making up; far from it because Harry and his wife Meghan Markle have caused so much damage with their TV interview, it will take a lifetime to heal this rift -- sparks began flying almost immediately after Harry landed back in his homeland. He went straight to his former marital home Frogmore Cottage in Windsor to quarantine under COVID rules while William and his wife Duchess Kate Middleton and their three children were holed up at their country home Anmer House in Norfolk, about 100 miles away, but that didn't stop the once-inseparable brothers exploding in fury at each other during a video call finalizing funeral arrangements -- William and Harry knew they'd have to walk together behind the cortege to honor their grandfather, but that was where their reunion ended and while their grieving grandmother and royal relatives mourned the loss of the family patriarch, William and Harry's pent-up anger and frustrations exploded as, on the same side of the Atlantic for the first time in over a year, William blasted Harry and Meghan for bad-mouthing his wife Kate and selfishly trying to destroy the monarchy and he reamed Harry for not visiting their grandfather in his final days and using the funeral as a publicity stunt while Harry retaliated by accusing his brother of throwing him and Meghan under the bus and vowed never to talk to him again -- instead of an expected joint public statement praising their beloved grandfather, they issued separate tributes, which underlined their split as in their statement, William and Kate reminisced about Philip taking their children for horse-drawn carriage rides and they vowed to support the queen in the years ahead and that was a dig at Harry and Meghan, who can't help the queen due to their self-imposed exile to California and it was also a shot because Harry's son Archie has spent no time with his royal relatives since his birth almost two years ago -- Philip's death has only intensified this horrific feud and this war is far from over, and may never be

Page 10: Prince Philip went to his grave regretting he couldn't stop Prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle from ripping the royal family in a bombshell TV interview -- The Duke of Edinburgh called the explosive tell-all madness and he had some sympathy for Harry and Meghan's desire to do their own thing, but he thought they were wrong and he hated Harry and Meghan's preoccupation with their own problems and their willingness to talk about them in public; one of his rules was give interviews but don't talk about yourself -- Philip loved Harry and thought him a good man, but he did not believe they were doing the right thing for the country or themselves when they quit royal duties and Philip died worrying the explosive interview permanently damaged the monarchy and he deeply regretted he wasn't able to prevent the scandal

* Outraged Prince Philip shunned his son Prince Andrew's ex-wife Duchess Sarah Ferguson for the last 19 years of his life after she was caught cheating in raunchy photos that went public -- Philip considered Fergie beyond the pale and refused to have anything to do with her and when Sarah was staying at Balmoral Castle with her daughters, her ex-father-in-law would run from a room she'd entered and Fergie said it was ridiculous because as soon as she came through one door, he'd be falling over the corgis to get out of the other and she added it was very funny, except, of course, it wasn't -- the only time they appeared together in public was at Prince Harry's 2018 wedding, 26 years after Fergie was photographed lounging topless while her then lover John Bryan sucked on her toes on the French Riviera; she and Andrew were separated at the time

Page 11: Marie Osmond is getting the last laugh on rival Sharon Osbourne after the big-mouthed Brit, who chased off Marie from The Talk, was booted from the chat show in a racism scandal -- while Marie doesn't wish ill on anyone, she certainly isn't feeling any sympathy for Sharon's plight -- in public, Marie has never said a harsh word about Sharon, and never blamed her co-star with pushing her off The Talk, but behind the scenes, Sharon made mild-mannered Marie's life hell, which chased her away and Marie still cringes from the whole experience of working with the brash former reality diva, more than seven months after leaving the show and Marie doesn't want to stoke the fire, but it's kind of satisfying in a way that Sharon's finally being exposed for what she is: a snippy, smug phony

* Chaka Khan was the first celeb booted on Season 21 of Dancing with the Stars in 2015, and it's no wonder because she was a lousy partner, claims pro hoofer Keo Motsepe -- Keo slammed the singer for demanding they only rehearse around midnight, because that's when the night owl was used to going to the record studio and laying down tracks -- Keo accepted the challenge but now calls Chaka his worst partner ever

Page 12: Celebrity Buzz -- Jane Lynch eats lunch in West Hollywood (picture), Khloe Kardashian is getting called out for her attempt to erase a bathing suit snap that revealed some very real body dimples and famous for posting airbrushed and filtered photos depicting her as flawless she went berserk over the unedited pic summoning legal eagles to get the image scrubbed off the internet but she drew colossal backlash, Sutton Stracke of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills got promoted to series regular and impressed producers by making ousted castmate Teddi Mellencamp cry by branding her boring, fired New York Housewife Dorinda Medley has lost 14 pounds, Lil Nas X's limited-edition designer Satan Shoes which commanded $1,018 when they hit the market are now deader than a doornail after legal pressure from Nike

Page 13: Dean Cain sports a Superman-style logo on his hoodie as he bums around Malibu (picture), Annabella Sciorra shoots an episode of Blue Bloods in NYC (picture), co-anchor T.J. Holmes shows his tongue on the Good Morning America set (picture), Olympic champ Lindsey Vonn admits skiing was a slippery slope when she started mingling with the beautiful people of Hollywood

Page 14: Brooklyn Decker proves she going gray at just 34 and she's kinda digging it, Kathryn Dennis trying to prove she's comfortable in the natural skin she's in shared pics from her first-ever bikini photo shoot and actually points out imperfections

* Fashion Verdict -- Zoe Saldana 6/10, Kelsea Ballerini 3/10, Jessica Madsen 7/10, Joy Bauer 2/10

Page 17: Eddie Cibrian is incredibly proud of wife LeAnn Rimes for baring the truth about her battle with psoriasis in a naked photo -- Eddie applauds how LeAnn let it all hang out for a photo shoot to show solidarity with other people with the scaly skin disease who are ashamed and want to hide it -- LeAnn has described the horrors of hiding her painful, crusty rashes, saying onstage she'd wear two pairs of pantyhose or jeans, even in 95-degree heat and underneath her shirt, her whole stomach would be covered in thick scales that would hurt and bleed, and the pandemic worsened her condition because stress is a common trigger for psoriasis, and with so much uncertainty happening, her flare-ups came right back

Page 19: 10 Things You Don't Know About Catherine O'Hara

* Sylvester Stallone may have gone his final round as boxing great Rocky Balboa as his reps reveal the actor has thrown in the towel and won't reprise his iconic role in the upcoming Creed III -- in the Creed spinoffs, retired fighter Rocky trained Adonis "Donnie" Creed, the son of his onetime rival

* Dr. Dre hit back against the abuse claims of estranged wife Nicole Young, slamming her allegations as appalling in recently filed court documents in their ugly $1 billion divorce -- in the docs, Dre charges Nicole hurled the accusations only after realizing their prenup may prevent her from getting half his money, but Nicole insists the rapper forced her to ink the agreement, a charge he also denies

Page 23: Caitlyn Jenner is refining her image ahead of her run for governor in California by reducing her massive breasts to look more conservative -- she wants to downgrade her E cups to a more respectable C cup because she's been worried for a while they are way too big within the context of her body and draw unflattering stares and running for the California governor's office is serious and she wants people to listen and look at her face, not her boobs and the truth is, the implants have been weighing her down and giving her back pain too, so this makes sense in more ways than one -- Caitlyn will be slowly abandoning other cosmetic procedures and she would like to wean herself off filters and Botox too, but that'll be a gradual process that she'll do as time goes by and the big thing here is that she wants to look more natural and relatable for voters

* Nearly half of America is ready to vote Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson into the White House -- 46 percent of voters are ready to rock and roll with the 49-year-old former WWE wrestler as their prez -- in his new sitcom Young Rock, Dwayne plays himself as a future candidate for the Oval Office, but in real life he has admitted he is seriously considering a run for the top job

Page 24: New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo, now facing two separate investigations into sexual harassment charges made by at least eight female staffers, is accused of cheating on longtime love Sandra Lee -- there's obviously a reason Sandra moved to California; she literally could not have moved farther away from Andrew; she's on the edge of the Pacific

Page 30: Grace Kelly died nearly flat broke -- the Hollywood starlet gave up millions to marry Prince Rainier of Monaco, and when she died at the age of 52, her only assets were a cottage in Ireland, owned by her grandfather, and $10,000 -- in 1956, she married into Monaco's royal family after coughing up a $2 million dowry, which is about $20 million today, and walking away from a glittering career -- according to a new documentary, her Hollywood earnings have disappeared as during her film career, Grace's total earnings could have reached $1.5 million, earnings that appear to be entirely missing from her will, but thanks to Grace, Monaco's royal family has cashed in big-time as her son Prince Albert II has an estimated net worth of $i billion and his wife Charlene Wittstock is rumored to be worth $150 million -- most people think of Grace Kelly's story as a fairy tale, going from Hollywood and suddenly being whisked off to a lot of wealth, but what is so poignant is that she had to pay to become a princess

* LeVar Burton may soon be helming a new enterprise: Jeopardy! -- nearly 200,000 people have signed an online petition supporting LeVar to replace the game show's late host Alex Trebek and LeVar supports the idea himself

Page 32: Kirstie Alley had two husbands and once claimed she was crazy about John Travolta, but for decades she secretly carried a torch for a married man: Patrick Swayze -- Kirstie described Patrick as the one that got away and truly believes they would have been together until his 2009 death at age 57 if things worked out differently and she says her love for Patrick began on the set of the 1985 miniseries North and South where she thought he was the most handsome, sexy, kind person she'd ever met, and each day on the set, she began to fall more and more in love but at the time they were married to other people: Patrick had his wife Lisa Niemi and Kirstie was married to Hardy Boys actor Parker Stevenson, her second husband -- Kirstie and Patrick shared a deep emotional affair and confessed their love, but never actually cheated on their spouses and Kirstie said they had an affair of the heart -- Patrick and Kirstie played lovers on the series and you can see the chemistry and at least once a year Kirstie watches the series and reminisces about the time she spent with him -- she says she cried for months after his death and she and his wife Lisa eventually became friends and even today, Kirstie wonders what would have happened if she and Patrick had not been married to other people

Page 36: Sally Struthers reveals she quit Save the Children charity after she was nearly murdered by a gang of bloodthirsty rebels during a trip to visit African orphans -- Sally was a roving ambassador for the charity for 35 years until a terrifying incident in Uganda where she was filming ads with a boy, who'd come from a remote village, when suddenly a roving band of guerrilla warfare guys came out of the bushes and asked the boy where he was from and he named his village, which was far away, and they decided they had kidnapped him, and they were going to shoot all of them and Sally was terrified and figured she was a goner, but a priest with her group told her to slowly walk off while never turning her back on the terrorists and as she walked, he convinced the gunmen to let them alone and at that point, Sally, who had a daughter Samantha from her six-year marriage to shrink William C. Radar thought she's been on so many little airplanes that could have crashed and in so many horrible situations and she's got a child, a real-life child of her own, and she can't do it anymore

* Usher is being accused of stiffing Las Vegas strippers by tipping them with fake money with his moniker and mug on the bills -- the flap exploded with a Twitter post slamming the singer for handing out Usherbucks in $100, $20 and $1 bills at the club Sapphire Las Vegas but club honcho George M. Wilson denies the charge, saying Usher, who stars at Caesars Palace stating in July, was a true gentleman and great guest and he and his crew converted thousands of real dollars to tip the girls dancing on the stage and left a generous tip for staff and apparently someone in his team left some Usher dollars on the floor to promote his Vegas residency and that is where it seems the confusion came in

Page 40: Val Kilmer is shooting for more than a career comeback after bouncing back from throat cancer; he is also looking for love -- Val admits he doesn't sound like he used to following a tracheotomy, but he insists he feels a lot better than he sounds but his voice is a raspy, grating sound, and he's forced to eat through a feeding tube, but he feels that shouldn't matter with the right woman -- the actor, who is slated to appear in the upcoming Top Gun: Maverick, is pumped up about working again, but it's dawned on him that he's missing one other thing, love, and the single star feels more energy now than ever before and there are things he'd like to do with a partner, like travel more -- Val regrets some of the things he did in the past and he was difficult and selfish, but his whole cancer ordeal has made him a better man and more open and giving but it's been a long, long time since he had a girlfriend, let alone even kissed a woman, but with the support and encouragement of his kids and friends, he's ready to put himself out there

* Fans are saying Christopher Meloni has one of the most remarkable rears on TV after a photo surfaced showcasing his awe-inspiring ass-ets -- a shot of the Law & Order: Organized Crime star in skintight jeans sparked a Twitter-storm where fans of his fanny let loose about his sculpted caboose

Page 44: Straight Talk -- Holly Madison is blabbing about her eight years as Hugh Hefner's No. 1 squeeze in the Playboy Mansion, and, if he were still alive, the king of skin mags would hate that he pretty much comes off as a dirty old lech

Page 45: Paula Abdul was a nervous wreck during her American Idol comeback, but she was not so jittery she couldn't brand her former co-judge Simon Cowell an STD -- special guest Randy Jackson and Simon previously teamed with Paula in the 2000s to make the talent show the biggest hit on TV, and Paula temporarily resumed her role after Luke Bryan tested positive for COVID-19, but when Randy told Paula seeing her on set seems like old times, she blurted "We're just missing the STD," and the remark caught host Ryan Seacrest off-guard as he held a computer device linking Paula and Randy, who was not physically present and Ryan exclaimed, "The what?!" and at that point Paula joked she meant it was an abbreviation for Super Talented, Debonair not sexually transmitted disease -- Paula also referred to Simon, who's only three years her senior, as a grandfather and while Paula seemed in the swing of things, joining the current Idol panel of Katy Perry and Lionel Richie, she was reportedly a bundle of nerves backstage before her comeback show and it was like she'd never done it before, and her pals couldn't believe it; they told her she had more experiencing judging than anyone out there

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Trying To Change Jotaro’s Mind About Valentine’s Day

(A/N): Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Sorry for my lack of posting, my idea well has been a tad dry here lately. And time has not been too kind to me, I haven’t had a moment to try to think of ideas but luckily this idea came to me for a special Valentine’s day imagine that turned out to be kinda a short fan fic instead. So hopefully this makes up for my lack of posting. I do still have a fanfiction idea I just haven’t had  time to sit down and write it just yet but I’ll try to do that soon. Until then happy reading and to all my fellow single ladies you are strong independent women who don’t need no man! ;3

Tags: Fluff, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, Jotaro Kujo

Warnings: Some suggestive themes

Word Count: 1,606

People had warned you that Jotaro would be unloving towards you in your relationship, they also said it wouldn’t last. Jotaro seemed cold and harsh to most people due to his outward appearance and the way he treated most people. While he did have his flaws you could also see the good he tried to keep hidden deep inside. You felt proud of yourself for proving the ones wrong that said you and Jotaro wouldn’t stay together as you woke on the beautiful morning of Valentine’s Day curled into the side of your husband of five years now, it put a smile on your face every time. While he wasn’t the most romantic man around, you felt well loved and adored every time you looked into his eyes. He had been awake for some time now but he couldn’t bear the thought of waking you up so he laid there for as long as he needed to to let you sleep as much as you wanted.

“Morning,” you sighed stretching like a lazy cat.

“Mornin’,” he grumbled touching a strand of hair on your head that was sticking straight up. “Looks like you slept well.”

“I did,” you purred once again snuggling to Jotaro. “It helps when I have my own personal heater.”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the faint tinge of pink to his cheeks. You didn’t poke fun at him anymore deciding on peppering him with kisses swirling your fingertip on the skin of his pectoral muscle.

“Happy Valentine’s Day by the way,” you said after a few moments of coddling him.

“Yare yare daze. What a stupid holiday.” He pushed the blankets off his hips before getting out of bed. He left you pouting there on the mattress. Yeah Valentine’s Day seemed silly and overdone. With everything red and pink taking over shelves at grocery stores. Fresh cut flowers for sale just about every where you turned around and couples making extravagant plans. While that part seemed ridiculous showing the person you loved how much you loved them with just small gestures seemed to be the most important part. That’s what you thought anyway. While Jotaro stayed in the bathroom showering and getting ready for the day was when you started planning. You giggled to yourself looking up a few little things on your phone to plan a day that would make Jotaro Kujo change his entire outlook on Valentine’s Day.

You had laid out some of his best but comfortable clothes as he exited the shower, hair plastered to his skull and a towel wrapped precariously around his waist. Another kiss on his cheek and you took your turn in the shower. Washing your hair and body didn’t take long but styling your hair was what was taking the most time in the bathroom. Putting on your robe and tying it around your middle you sat at your vanity putting on a little makeup before deciding to wear a nice pair of shorts and a button up shirt. Putting on your flip flops you took Jotaro by the hand pulling him up from the couch. He complained and seemed obstinate about not going anywhere but you eventually wore him down. He didn’t ask where you both were going and he didn’t seem to want to converse much on this day, but that was normal. You told him where to turn and kept talking to which he would answer with a grunt or sigh. Once the first sign came up his demeanor seemed to change. You smiled to yourself still not telling him anything, he was a smart man he could figure out himself. By the time the third sign went by the driver side window Jotaro knew what you were up to though he couldn’t help but show a twinge of excitement. It wasn’t every day that he got to visit the aquarium. Despite knowing exactly what you were up to, thinking that you could change his mind about Valentine’s Day. He did have to admit though you were playing your cards right and knew exactly how to make him happy. Finding a parking spot you took his offered hand, giggling to yourself at how so far you were winning the Valentine’s war.

At this time there wasn’t many people around and you knew many people wouldn’t want to spend their Valentine’s at a place smelling of salt water and fish. Though honestly you loved every moment at the aquarium mostly because you knew that it was making Jotaro happy. Walking through the building the colors of the fish made you gape in awe. Jotaro took to explaining every type before spending a little extra time at the shark exhibit. You personally liked the jellyfish the most, their slow movements soothing. You both stayed at the aquarium until the sun set and your feet were killing you. You definitely regretted not wearing tennis shoes but your want to look cute for your husband had outweighed practical. Jotaro ended up giving you a piggy back ride back to the car.

“Where to now,” he asked knowing that you were far from done trying to change his mind.

“Since you know what I’m up to by now go to the beach my darling. We are eating at the new restaurant that opened up on the pier. The fleeting look of shock would have been missed if you blinked. You grinned smugly knowing that you in fact didn’t miss his shocked expression. Reservations were nonexistent but you were able to pull a few strings and get a reservation for a table that overlooked the ocean. A perfect place to dine and watch the sunset with the husband you loved so dearly. The restaurant was bustling but you were immediately taken to the table you had reserved. Two menus were placed before you and Jotaro before the waiter was off buzzing around other tables before going to get your drinks. It didn’t take long to figure out what you wanted to eat and Jotaro knew what he wanted as well. With orders placed and the quiet of outside washing over you both it was a blessed moment of serenity. Waves crashed against the shore making you sigh contently. You played with a strand of hair while watching the ocean. Jotaro wasn’t for small talk so you had found ways to distract yourself during the silence between you. Others would stare at the weird couple who wouldn’t talk to one another but you ignored them. If they couldn’t understand that Jotaro did in-fact love you but didn’t enjoy talking very much that was on them. You loved Jotaro for him and no opinion could change that.

“Hey,” he finally spoke. Looking away from the ocean and dropping your hair to brush against your chest you looked at him. His hat brim was covering his face from your vision. “Thanks for today. I’ve had a lot of fun and maybe Valentine’s Day isn’t so bad.”

You wanted to shout in victory but your only answer was to lift his face to look into yours with a finger under his chin. Your lips brushed lightly against his testing to see if he wanted to reciprocate your actions. He cupped your face almost dragging you across the table, causing the drinks to wobble but Star Platinum righted them keeping them from spilling onto the floor. With Jotaro kissing you fiercely you groaned gently moving your mouth against his. Ignoring the looks and chuckles Jotaro released you to sit back down in your chair across from him though his eyes burned with an intensity that promised to continue what you had started in the privacy of home. Now it was your turn to blush knowing what you had awakened inside your husband, but you couldn’t help but feel excited. Despite the commotion your meals were brought promptly, blessing the food you dug in savoring the amazing flavors.

With stomachs full and check paid you and Jotaro made your way down to the beach. Removing your flip flops you enjoyed the feeling of sand between your toes. Thanks the the evening weather the sand wasn’t cooking your feet and you could actually enjoy walking across the beach at a slow pace. Jotaro wouldn’t let your hand go even when you decided to dip your toes into the salty water. You laughed skipping across the shore with a lagging Jotaro in tow. He smiled as he watched you play and run. He would never forget why he fell in love and married you, even just looking at you reminded him every time. Planting his feet while still keeping a firm grip on your hand you were stopped abruptly the momentum yanking you backwards. You yelped before colliding with Jotaro’s unyielding chest. His arms were wrapped around you securing your smaller body to his. His lips brushed against your neck giving small kisses before nibbling at your earlobe. You squirmed a little earning a squeeze to stop your movements.

“What’s say we go home and finish what you started at the restaurant?”

You squeaked, “Says the man who basically ripped me across the table like a rabid maniac.”

He laughed lowly a sultry tone that had you shivering. “Like you didn’t like it. Now let’s get you to bed but we won’t be sleeping.”

You knew your face was blood red with a blush that was most likely up to your ears while a determined Jotaro lead you back to the car. Something told you that Jotaro was going to be willing to celebrate Valentine’s Day every year from now on.

[devauer]

do  you  guys  understand  the  absolute  dumbassery  if  the  og  fam  was  shot  like  what  we  do  in  the  shadows ?

finn's  first  time  sitting  an  interview  begins  with  him  just  staring  into  the  camera  for  twenty  seconds  before  saying  “  welcome  to  the  nightmare  ”

the  og  fam  being  drunk  off  their  asses  and  dressing  finn  ( who  is  passed  out )  up  in  one  of  rebekah's  old  wigs  while  she  does  a  full  face  of  drag  make  up  on  him

freya  pulls  him  into  a  hug  when  finn  wakes  up  and  starts  popping  off  on  them  while  the  rest  of  the  family  laugh  hysterically

finn,  with  freya  literally  hanging  off  of  him  while  he  tries  to  storm  away:  “  i  hate  you  all !  i've  had  enough !  die !  ”  and  everyone  else  is  wheezing

kol  is  seen  taste  testing  a  very  mysterious  looking  jar  of  unknown  origins  and  makes  a  face  like  that  one  naked  baby  meme  atrocity  from  six  years  ago

he  hurriedly  stashes  the  jar  back  in  the  cupboard  when  elijah  walks  in

elijah  is  trying  to  have  a  serious  conversation  about  everyone's  eating  habits  and  the  proper  means  of  disposing  of  bodies  when  klaus  drops  a  lady  he  was  eating  on  the  floor  at  elijah's  feet  like  a  cat  bringing  in  a  dead  bird

footage  of  kol  sparring  with  klaus  but  it  gets  progressively  more  brutal  and  violent  until  elijah  has  to  intervene  before  they  destroy  the  house

all  the  while  kol  and  klaus  are  having  a  very  casual  discussion  about  that  one  time  in  berlin  during  the  14th  century  and  are  each  blaming  the  other  for  the  death  of  klaus'  favourite  witch  of  the  time

at  an  airport  kol  is  convincing  finn  about  the  likelihood  of  the  plane  crashing  while  finn  looks  increasingly  nervous  and  distressed.  kol  winks  at  the  camera  when  he  notices  it  recording  him.

both  rebekah  and  klaus  are  asleep  with  their  heads  on  elijah's  shoulders  who's  just  scrolling  through  his  phone

finn  giving  freya  a  piggy  back  ride  because  she's  hopelessly  mortal  and  sneering  at  kol  when  he  asks  for  one  next

grocery  shopping  with  the  fam  because  they  were  somehow  convinced  to  do  it  instead  of  compelling  someone  to  do  it  for  them  and  freya  and  finn  are  the  only  ones  actually  going  through  the  list  and  interviewing  other  patrons  for  what  brand  of  soy  sauce  is  the  best

kol  and  rebekah  are  just  grabbing  whatever  they  think  will  taste  good  while  elijah  scolds  them  for  throwing  three  large  jars  of  nutella  in  the  shopping  cart  because  “  you  do  not  need  THREE  jars  of  nutella  ”

klaus  is  more  interested  in  the  blonde  woman  in  aisle  three

the  siblings  take  turns  on  who  has  to  wake  kol  up  when  he's  asleep  because  he  is  NOTORIOUSLY  grumpy.  at  one  point  rebekah  slaps  him  square  across  the  face  at  max  vampiric  speed  and  screams  when  kol  grabs  her  arm

finn  throws  things  at  him  until  he  wakes  up,  klaus  blasts  the  stereo,  elijah  just  walks  into  the  room  and  starts  lecturing  him  until  kol  finally  rolls  out  of  bed

freya's  the  only  one  who  wakes  him  up  gentle  like  by  knocking  on  the  door  and  telling  him  it's  noon  already

[purplesurveys]

1096

survey by doedear

When you get an account for something, what's the first username you try? It depends on what I’m signing up for. For social media and informal sites I use the same username I’ve been using for like a decade now just because it makes it easier for me to remember; for more professional websites I use my first name, my middle initial, and my surname. 

What do you think might be someone else's first impression of you? The most common impression is quiet and aloof, which I’m honestly fine with.

Is texting having a negative or a positive effect for social relationships? I appreciate that it makes staying connected with my loved ones a lot easier, but I disagree with how it’ll sometimes be used to deal with situations that are ideally handled by person, like breakups or serious arguments. In other words it can definitely have both; it depends on how it’s used.

Would you be okay with a friend wanting to date one of your exes? I might have a personal problem with it, but it’s not like I would do anything to prevent it from happening. I would not be in the place to do so. I will probably distance myself from that friend though, just so that I don’t have to get updated on what’s going on between them.

Have you ever been addicted to something other than a drug? No.

Have you ever been addicted to a drug? Nope.

Do you like macadamia nut cookies? Sure, though I really ever only eat one kind; Starbucks has a dark chocolate macadamia cookie that I like to get from time to time.

What kind of accent do people typically have where you're from? Philippine English, which I’d say sounds a bit similar to American English, excep for the small differences here and there  of our differences in pronunciation.

Bruno Mars - fail or win? He’s a win for me. When it comes to Top 40/pop music, he has always been one of my honest favorites. Have kind of a crush on him too lol, so there’s that.

Can you sleep without a fan on? During this time of the year, yes. It doesn’t last that long since Philippines was never meant to be a cold country, though.

Does history interest you at all? It really does; I can watch, read, and go to museums about it all day if I could. It was also my favorite class and it was the subject I could rely on to have good grades in and pull my average up, hahaha.

What's something you wish you could do-over? As much as possible I don’t really think of this as I don’t see the point in focusing on situations that are already done and over with. But if I had no choice, I’d pick the time I was a college freshman and make myself less-breakdown-y and less-depression-y.

How many times a day do you apply deoderant? Once, at the start of the day.

Have you ever tried any drugs? Other than caffeine, no.

What caused the most intense physical pain you've ever felt? The time I accidentally ripped my earring off and permanently disfigured my piercing. Also, when I touched a plugged-in clothing iron thinking it wouldn’t be hot enough.

Do you like those Sperry Top-Sider shoes? They’re actually pleasant to look at, yes. I’d buy a pair for myself.

Can you wear shoes like that without getting blisters on your ankles? When I’ve worn them like 5 times already, yeah. I always get blisters with newly-bought pairs, though.

Would you agree that dark chocolate tastes like rotten chocolate? Uh, no? That’s some poorly-made dark chocolate you have. 

Do you touch your lips when you're nervous? I have other habits.

Do you think you can read other people's body language well? Yeah. This is on surveys a lot...

Are you a good driver? I’mmmmmm honestly a little reckless because my temper is shortest when on the road lol. But since I’ve driven the longest out of all my friends and have grown used to parking in tricky spots, changing lanes, overtaking, etc., they all still prefer to ride with me.

Did you pass your driver's test the first time you took it? Yes. I think he passed me out of sympathy though (because I did terrible and we both knew it), because failing me would’ve taken so much more time on my end and theirs. And in the Philippines, getting things over with matters more than quality control haha.

Would you rather be involved in a watergun or a paintball gun war? At this point maybe a paintball gun war, since I’ve been to many water gun fights before.

Is your hair in layers or is it all the same length? It’s the same length. I haven’t had it layered since the 5th grade.

Is there anyone who you're afraid to be in a car with, if they're driving? A friend who’s new to driving, like Jo or Angela.

What's a quick fix for a bad hair day? I just dab my hair with some water at the sink; it’s usually able to do the trick and make me look prepared when I’m unable to take a full shower.

Do you enjoy flying or do you get scared? The idea of accidents and crashes scare me, of course, but I try not to let it ruin my experience of flying and traveling.

Be honest. Do you like making other people feel jealous? Sometimes but it has waned more as I’ve gotten older. It has just started to mean less and less through the years and as my priorities change.

Have you ever purposely made someone of the opposite sex jealous? No. When it came to Mike, I didn’t really flaunt my relationship since I felt bad for him.

Are you addicted to shopping? Nope, but I can definitely see myself being if I ever decide to make it a weekly habit.

Do you always wear mascara and eyeliner? I never wear either.

Do you have any huge hoodies lined with snuggly fur on the inside? No, and I can tell you that is uncommon to see here because that sounds insanely warm to wear.

Is there anything you do, kind of habitually, that's completely mindless but helps you think? I don’t think so. I’m not sure I understood the question, either...

Do you like headphones or ear-buds more? Earbuds. Headphones undeniably have better quality, but they’re bulky.

What's your favorite winter sport? I don’t watch or play any.

What's something you're very good at? Meeting deadlines. I never miss one.

Where do you spend the majority of your summer? At home? ...Where else am I supposed to spend it in? Haha.

Who do you usually spend the most of your summer with? My family. I don’t have any yearly practices set every summer.

How old were you and where did you go on your first real date? I was 16; it was a quaint, Italian-American restaurant in Greenbelt.

Have you ever had a bonfire on the beach at night? I don’t think so. I would love that experience.

Do you like sour gummy worms? Yeah. I like the more gelatinous kind than the gummy candies with sour powder on them, though.

Have you ever helped a complete stranger with anything? I’m sure I have, but nothing super specific is coming to mind at the moment...just little things like holding the door open for someone carrying a heavy bag, cleaning up the plates and utensils on my table so that the server won’t have to do much work, teaching a stranger the COVID safety protocols before entering an establishment if they look confused, etc.

Would you pick up a hitchhiker if they seemed harmless? Probably not.

When playing a sport, are you more focused on winning or having fun? Winning, which I know doesn’t make me the best person to play with so I prefer to watch by the sidelines anyway. I do have fun playing table tennis though :)

Who's the last person who gave you a piggy back ride? Gabie.

Who's the last person that you gave a piggy back ride? I’m lighter than everyone else I know so I’ve never given one.

Rock, paper, or scissors? I switch it up every time.

Would you be bothered if your boyfriend liked to bite you? No. I liked lightly biting my ex as a show of affection and just to get her attention whenever I wanted to be playful.

Are you any good at dancing? No. I’m good at memorizing routines, but could never do them on my own.

Even if you aren't, do you like to dance? Only by myself.

What makes you feel the most 'alive'? New places and new experiences.

Whose conversations do you appreciate the most? Angela and Hans.

Is there anyone's advice you value enough to take against your own judgment? Gabie. At least in the past.

How often do you get the opportunity to be completely alone? Very seldom, which is why I try to give it to myself every weekend as a reward.

Do you like being alone or does it drive you crazy? I appreciate if I’ve been around people for too long, but I also shouldn’t have too much of it.

Do you have a trampoline? No.

Do you get nervous when driving in convertibles, knowing that if you flipped, you'd be screwed? I’ve never had this concern because I’ve never driven in one.

What's your favorite Pixar movie? Toy Story, of course.

Are you capable of successfully lying to someone you love? I guess, but I’ll hate doing it.

Who do you adore? Angela’s mom.